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#people they know and love bc their teleporting goes weird most of the time and they can only have 1 or 2 places they can consistently for
toomuchdickfort · 2 years
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*comes up with a cool ass scene for a character that is in no place to have that scene rn and not developed enough to figure out how that scene would happen*
#theyre coming to terms w the idea that unless they want to wait for days or weeks in a plane they hate they dont have any way back to the#people they know and love bc their teleporting goes weird most of the time and they can only have 1 or 2 places they can consistently for#sure get to and they lost one of those roots so they can either sit at the pools for fuck knows how long until someone else shows up bc#they cant work the gateway or they can just try and do the best w what they have which is what theyre doing#and like. theyre apart from anybody they care enough abt to have one of those 'screams hard enough to kick up in power for a little bit'#moments. which like. theyd not be able to do hardly anything anyways bc they keep the magic of like their whole being unstable to be able#to shapeshift but like. reference rey jaret through 'if they were a paragon of their kin they could create wonders. They could cleave open#the earth beneath them and rend the skies asunder and re-thread the very fabric of reality. ...But they're not. And all that happens is a#hum in the air and a little kicked up dust.' because like!! rey did that!! they had a little help but they went to the hole in reality and#slapped some stitches on the main hole in reality!!!#and it carved through their being enough to leave golden scars crawling like cracks up their arm and across their body from the hand they#held outstretched to this hole in reality and it took them weeks to recover#and now they're kind of possessed but shh its probably fine#and also their memories have been yoinked to put into someone made with their blood but thats also. probably fine.#character rambles#elysur#rey jaret#mikail barne#cyrn o’neal#edit: I was able to put it into another one so 👌
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lovely-echoo · 3 years
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Sleepy Bois Inc x FranBow!Reader
In-game AU
Part 2/? PT.1
Plantonic!SBI x Young!Reader
(10/11 years old)
Headcanons
Genderneutral reader (they/them) 💜
INFO; If you haven't played or seen game play of Fran Bow then you can skip this if you'd like. If you don't care then go ahead.
Summary; Basically if you've seen/played the game you should know how this goes, you take place of Fran. So you go/went through the same things she did and you still have Mr. Midnight. This takes place while Fran is still in the mental hospital and then got teleported near the SBI.
If I get any info wrong, I'm sorry! I rewatched Markiplier's game play so it shouldn't be way off.
P.s not everything is described the same.
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(^ art by sunquids on twt)
CW/TW: mentions/includes of cussing, food/not eating properly, screaming, murder, death threats(?)
First Impressions
Philza
Was terrified honestly-
Thought you were dead at first
Mans was just walking around with his son when he heard a thud
Was 1000% not expecting a kid and a cat
Even worse when he tried to get closer the cat got defensive and swatted it’s claws at him
And when you woke up-
Oh boy-
You barely acknowledged him and picked up the cat
Which btw, the damn cat changed so quickly- it perked up and was all happy and shit
The sudden anger to happiness gave him whiplash the poor guy
Then when you started crying which that scared him to
But either way he wanted to help you
Blame the father instincts ig-
He saw the way you looked thinner and not in the way as in ‘I was born with a fast metabolism/naturally like that’ but in the way of ‘I haven’t gotten proper food in a while’
(Btw if you are a plus-sized reader, the same goes for you. I don’t want to specify anything, especially body types. But he could tell you haven’t eaten actual food :) bc we all know that asylum food is shit)
He also saw the way you lowkey gaped at his wings but shh-
^ Lowkey feels prideful about it but you didn't hear it from me-
He really tried to approach you as calmly as possible to not scare you
Can I also mention that when he saw how dull your eyes were he felt his heart shatter
He also physically winced when he heard you speak for the first time
Honestly got lost in thought with a bunch of concerns, worries and shit
Final Thoughts;
Thinks you're absolutely adorable
Wants to punt whoever left you here
Lowkey scared of your cat
Technoblade
At first did not care
Like at all
Also thought you were dead at first
Still didn’t care
But the more he examined you when you first met
There’s something about you that kinda…
Clicked?
Idk
But yeah
Was ticked off when you talked back but also impressed
Like he’s Technoblade, The Blood God.
Usually whenever he makes eye contact with people- especially kids
They cower, scream, panic and ect.
But you didn’t waver
But either way, he’s still very skeptical.
Will absolutely stay on guard with you around
Unless you don’t give him reason to
If the some of the voices are right
He will dropkick murder you
So just keep quiet about it for now, okay?
He actually kinda finds you interesting
He doesn’t know why, he just does
Maybe it’s your mannerisms but eh
Just watch yourself around him
He’s so stiff and stern around you to the point that you think you won’t wake up the next morning
Final Thoughts;
Still really iffy about you
Get's the most ill vibe from you
Wants the voices to stfu about how 'cute' you were
TommyInnit
Ima be completely honest with you-
He screamed.
Like as soon as he made eye contact with your bloodshot eyes
He just full on screamed
You don’t know what you did to scare the poor teen
But I guess you’ll never know
And ima be honest with you again
He doesn’t either.
Maybe it was the way your eyes bore into his when he first saw you
Lowkey thought you were half dead or a zombie or some shit
You just looked so…
Dead…?
You kinda looked like a doll to him
He’s not a fan of dolls
Will he apologize for screaming the first time ya’ll met?
Because that is lowkey rude to do-
Yes but actually no-
He feels bad but he’s got to much of a stick up his ass to apologize directly
But he’ll make it up to you one day
I hope-
But other than that
He’s happy to not be the youngest one around tho
Final Thoughts;
Still thinks you look like a creepy doll
Gets this vibe from you but can’t put his finger on it
Lowkey wants to take you out on an adventure and maybe introduce you to Tubbo
Wilbur;
He was actually in his room chilling
Practising his guitar for a new song he wrote
He was vibing
Then he heard a scream
Thought a cat or smt was being murdered
So he rushed downstairs expecting a dead animal or shit
Turns out it was just his younger brother
Was gonna scold him but he saw you and your cat
That btw, you were holding him in such a cute way and looked at him with these doe eyes
Mentally, emotionally and physically awed
Your farming his aw’s hold on a sec-
He’s in love omg-
Please he’s already thinking about doing sibling shit with you
He knows his dad will adopt you even if he said ‘They're staying here for a while before they go back home.'
Wil knows that’s a lie and you’ll be staying here for a lot longer
With your consent ofc
Either way finds you adorable, smol and just
You’re baby
To him, you’re baby
Final Thoughts;
You're baby
Wonders if you like music
But also gets a weird vibe from you
Bonus;
The Voices
Oh boy-
So many different opinions
Some want you dead
Some want to hug you
Some want your cat
Some hate your cat
It’s all a mess
But let’s focus on the positive ones-
A lot of them are still chanting ‘protecc tiny bean’
Some are talking about you, others the cat
‘protecc tiny beans’
Is now what they decided to chant
They love you bby dw
Even the harsher ones, they love you
They just don’t show it
For the ones who really want you dead and shit
They’ll warm up
At least I hope so
But they don’t get the chance to say more mean shit like wanting you dead
Because those voices are getting attacked by your fans
Yes, your fans
They’ve nominated themselves as your fans
Yes, they do fight for who’s the number one fan
Final Thoughts;
If Philza likes you then they do (for the most part-)
Protecc tiny beans?
Protecc tiny beans.
Feel free to submit suggestions for this series! Could just be headcanons, reactions to ___, or anything!
Taglist;
@killermich-blog | @cl0udy-grey | @roxy3457 @itsberrydreemurstuff | @shuriosansshitposts @frowningsmiles | @muchrooomm | @novelist2 | @xx-smiley-xx
Lmk if you want to be added!
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cartoonsaint · 2 years
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Mr. Gordon Freeman for the ask game? 👉👈
ooo! i'll answer for both Gordons, but my thoughts about the original are relatively shallow whoops
Canon Gordon Freeman
FAV CANON TRAIT: i see his work w teleportation as a metaphor for his drive :) he WILL go from point A to point B, however it can possibly be done. doesn’t always take into account ”common sense” limitations, which is sort of awesome for science but not for personal health (thank god for the suit). sometimes clever puzzle solving is the answer, but sometimes the most efficient way is to go straight through the goddamn wall.
LEAST FAV CANON TRAIT: omg, that he’s in an apocalyptic first-person shooter w zombies? SO not my thing, but somehow i ended up here anyways. mostly i think he deserves a hot shower and cozy pajamas and not to be covered w blood.
FANON PET PEEVE: i’m baffled by characterizations of him that don’t take into account the facts that he is capable of great violence as well as dorky playfulness (the snark idle animation! vent races!). also i have blocked SO many people for being weird about shipping?? like HL2’s freemance thing kinda squicked me out too but damn dudes, come on
Gordos Feetman
FAV CANON TRAIT: he's SO concerned about how he appears to other people while simultaneously being the LEAST SELF-AWARE CHARACTER IN THE SERIES, my GOSH. man has no IDEA how to talk to people: comes striding into Black Mesa like he's the one in charge (“move! move, i’m running late”), rude about the kind and friendly Dr. Coolatta, overly familiar w every scientist (even when Bubby flat out tells him to shut the fuck!), when questioned by benrey goes "i'm perfectly okay! i am perfectly healthy, and smart," like that's anything close to what a normal person would say, ever. then the first chance he gets to actually sit down with the Science Team over coffee he goes straight to, "you guys got families? ...what was your childhood like?" hello? 24 hours later he asks "what're your guys' hopes and dreams?" HELLO?? buddy the unspoken social rules... my god. he does not know them
plus his "nobody likes me. nobody likes me! i've dealt with that my whole life." like... aw dude. thank goodness the Science Team is full of weirdos too. they can jive with his off-beat social skills and seem to get that at his heart, Gordon Freeman is just a pretty nice semi-loser who wants to goof off and help take care of the people important to him ;-; ...and who will also commit murder at the slightest suggestion from others that it's fine
LEAST FAV CANON TRAIT: i wish he'd been more consistent about joshua! wayne has mentioned retconning the framed picture as just gordon being a nervous fuckin weirdo, but :( on my first watch-through i was like "hm. something about the way gordon tries to shepherd the Science Team with a weirdly optimistic, know-better attitude despite the fact that they all totally ignore him feels familiar..." and then he was like "i have a little kid!" and i went "OH NO WONDER," bc at the time i was also a 27yo spending a lot of time w a small child who preferred not to listen to my somewhat hysterical requests to not Do the Thing.
so like i'm fond of joshua's existence. and i get that trying to fit him into hl2vrai would be difficult but... plz wayne don't kill him. not again D8
FANON PET PEEVE: sometimes artists draw him like he’s 45, which is odd to me, but to be fair his model does make him look terrible for a 27yo. otherwise i wish there was more exploration of how much of a fuckin WEIRDO he is, bc despite being relatively normal compared to the Science Team he’s NOT normal compared to like anyone else. and i‘d love to see more of gordon struggling and benrey having to learn to help, rather than things only going one way. and more of him goofing off, even in awful situations! like i’m fascinated by him messing with the ribs of a dead dude on the ground next to benrey like “ooo i’m gonna touch em haha... u ever been to chili’s” buddy u r NOT normal <3
OK! thank you for asking about the gordons, it is fun to stir up my feelings about these characters and try to synthesize them this way :) anyone interested in my favetrait/leastfavetrait/fanonpetpeeve for other characters can send me an ask if they like. thanks :D <3!
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in-superbloom · 3 years
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okay so. i never really did a review (feels weird to call it a review tho so let's say a very opinionated essay that's totally the opposite of what college taught me) for wfttwtaf but i never really know how to do that for any album, doesn't matter how much it makes me feel feelings, bc i simply can't write about my own emotions in cohesive thoughts ✌🏻😔
so instead, i let my brain do this thing he usually does when i listen to an album that leaves an effect on me, which is pretty much just creating visuals for the songs bc apparently my feelings translate better into images/vibes rather than words lmao but since i am unfortunately not skilled to drawn/paint/created actual visual stuff, i just wrote them so i'm gonna leave them here bc why not <3
i just really love when music (art in general, but especially music for me) makes your mind run wild & be so inspired that you can't help but create something based on that feeling <3 a great example of that is the amount of art everyone here (on tumblr!sos verse, but also tumblr & the internet in general) create based on other peoples' art & i just *clenches fists* really love that 💜
anyways !! if you're reading this, i hope this makes sense to you & if you wanna chat about the album, my mail box is always open 💜
• track one: starting line – like the mv, but he's running like he's trying to get away from something, always looking behind his shoulder, stumbling on things/people on the streets. also maybe not flying?;
• track two: saigon – then he reaches a tiny but unique/eye-catching door, gets intrigued & enters. he has to go downstairs through a dark and narrow corridor, he hears muffled music coming down there. he reaches the door & the music is now clear, it looks like there are disco balls everywhere ((pink, blue and purple bc ofc)), the place is packed with people dancing & just vibing™. he goes to the dancefloor, but soon it gets overwhelming so he tries to reach a wall or the other end of the club, but he can't. the more he walks, the furthest he feels from the walls. everything has a psychedelic look, also some of those trippy effects he used on motion, and no one seems to notice/ care about him. this goes on until the end of the song, then he finally finds a door ((not the one he came from)) and opens it;
• track three: motion – he expects to find a street, but instead he's inside a room. it's a bit dark, all he sees are shadows, but then suddenly everything turns into an explosion of colors ((when the songs picks up in the beginning)), all dancing in front of him, making him feel lost & dizzy. he keeps walking, but every now and them he stumbles on something ((random things like animals or weird props or stuff that aren't supposed to be alive, but are)). he admires everything with a childlike wonder, touches things and then they turn into something else, or change form/shape/color. in the end, he's distracted looking at something and then falls like the floor reached an end;
• track four: place in me – he fell right there where he is in the mv/visualizer, it goes on like that;
• track five: baby blue – make it look like he fell asleep after the end of place in me, so he's very confused when he wakes up & it looks like the place is falling apart, like end of the world type ((like the lamentis thingy on loki)). things are exploding & he can see another planet very close to the one where he is. it's a bit scary but it's a breathtaking view nonetheless. he's mesmerized, but also kinda already accepted his fate? he's not trying to run to find a shelter/salvation or anything, just watching it all fall apart. at the end, he stops, turns around & looks at the path that he was walking ((full of nature things colored in every shade of blue and also glittery dust)) and he's just admiring it when he's hit by a big rock maybe? or a moon, who knows;
• track six: repeat – he's throw away to somewhere that's not collapsing, it looks like a pathway in the woods? but like, no florest too near, and it's sunny but not too warm, and the path is filled with green grass and flowers. he lands in a place that looks like a field but not quite. and then after walking for a while, he finds himself, but another version of him. maybe a younger one or an older one or both? like, they both just stop and stare at each other and kinda do this lil dance of trying to touch the other & watching the other, both a lil frightened but completely intrigued. maybe the older version of him? ooooh maybe it starts with an older version, but then every time present luke gets distracted by something else or turns around for a second, the other luke is getting younger, until he's just a lil kid. the ending is the mini luke offering his hand for present luke to grab, so he can lead him to a house that was near where they were. ((or maybe mini luke makes him run after him));
• track seven: mum – luke enters the house & immediately recognizes it as the house he grew up in. every step he takes, a wall or an object or a room brings a memory & it plays it out like a hologram. lots of memories. then in the guitar solo part, he finds a guitar in the room where he used to play the most when he was a kid ((maybe some cool&cute effects going around him, representing the sound coming from the guitar)). before the solo ends, you can see a shadow in the threshold of the door, and when he finished the guitar solo, luke turns around and smiles, getting up to hug the person ((it's his mum)) but maybe you never actually see her face?;
• track eight: slip away – he steps out of his childhood house and enters this big dark room. there's only a lil blue light coming from the very center of the room. when he gets closer to it, he sees it's a lil star, who looks very scared. as soon as she notices him ((he tries to reach her)) she runs out of the door on the other side of the room. he's worried&intrigued so he follows her, but when he opens the door, he immediately falls, this time he's in what looks like the clouds ((blue hues ofc but clearer ones, not as dark shades like the ones in place in me & baby blue)), and soon he finds out he can "swim" through them. he does that for a while until he sees the lil star and tries to follow her again. this goes on until he finally gets close to her, but when he touches her, she literally slips from his grasp bc he's being teleported again ((but make it look like she's the portal));
• track nine: diamonds – it starts with a close up on the water maybe? and then the camera keeps getting higher & suddenly he falls into it and soon the camera follows. he's distorted for a bit, especially when he notices he's already too deep into the water, away from the surface. then he tries to swim to the surface, but there's a bunch of things?? or like weird and mean seapeople maybe? trying to drag him down ((kinda like that scene on harry potter & the goblet of fire)). he tries his best to fight them, but what gets him away from them is a group of nice seapeople who came to his rescue. then they all swim away from the place they were ((also maybe slip in some diamonds or things that look like them around there?));
• track ten: a beautiful dream – he reaches a lil city? under water with the help of the nice seapeople & then there's this piano on the ground ((maybe covered in seaweed and stuff like that)) and he's immediately drawn to it. he plays/sings the song ((maybe like the guitar effects in mum, the sounds coming from the piano affect the place around him even tho it looks like he barely notices it)). when the song is finishing, he notices a white light coming from the surface. he looks at it & then follows it;
• track eleven: bloodline – then he's getting out of the water? at some beach perhaps? he's slowly getting out of the water & there's this beautiful sunrise behind him. he's singing along, looking like he just came out of a battle but at the same time he's in peace with himself, looking not exactly happy but relieved. he's walking on the beach, making his way home but he's not in a hurry. then in that lil bit in the end of the song, he gets out of the frame after looking straight to the camera maybe?? and the camera focuses on the sunrise and then everything goes black;
• track twelve: comedown – he wakes up in a bed ((like, this is him waking up from all these dreams)) & he's slightly confused bc the dreams felt so real, but he's feeling better & not so lost anymore. he goes out in a walk that maybe shows every place he was in his dreams? but like, this time you see what they really are bc every place in his dreams was inspired by a real location/thing, just reimagined. but like, he doesn't enter anywhere, he's just walking & you can see the places on both sides of the street. like, it's clearly a set up location but it's just representative. maybe you can see some of his friends/family at some of these locations or maybe they're all together in one place? but they don't look at him, they're just talking&laughing with each other. he looks happy, at ease & he's smiling, wearing a yellow or gold shirt. in the end, he reaches a cliffside maybe? somewhere that leads you to think that he'll go through another portal, but then he suddenly stops, looks down at the cliffside and crouches down bc he saw the lil blue star from slip away but it's now a necklace. he picks it up, with a small&easy smile and then looks at the camera, gives a bigger, real smile, gets up and turns around, going back to where his friends&family are, but the camera stays there, just watching him go.
// now some notes bc i love to over explain myself //
• the "water" one was supposed to be slip away, but alison @bandsanitizer was talking about a beautiful dream these days & said that something about the song reminds her of a sonar-like sound & the idea of searching for something, so that got me thinking about the ocean & relating it to this song and it also makes a lot of sense with what the album represents in my mind, so it made me change that. thank you for that miss alison, it's always a pleasure to read your thoughts 😌💜
• & it also fitted well with the “i can't fight the bloodline living in the seams back home” line from bloodline, so i wanted that one to be related to the water as well bc that's all i can think about when i hear that lyric;
• something in common that appears in every single one: an object or something related to time, since it's the big common theme on the whole album;
• in each song he's wearing the same outfit he wore in the starting line mv (white tee + black pants + converse) but in each one of them, that red shirt is in a different color;
• i had the visuals from starting line to mum very clear in my head on my first listen of the album, but i only truly finished writing all of this yesterday bc i wanna listen to halsey's new album and see if my brain does this thing again, but i wanted to finish wfttwtaf first <3
& that's it bc i already talked too much for a day lmao if you read all of this, you're a true hero & i love you <3 have a nice day 💛
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crownshattered-a · 2 years
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|| ALRIGHT TIME FOR A COA VERSE MASTERPOST!!!!! (using emily as a banner since im starting with her first uwu)
Emily:
First off, I hardly know anything about the ACTUAL lore for COA I except for the fact that they’re pirates and ig their ship sank. So my sisters and I (each of us write emily, emma, and freddy when put together) decided to MAKE a story for this verse.
For starters, Emma is the captain of the ship. Her father WAS the captain, but he accidentally got corrupted by the abyss bc of Emma. He was turned into a sea monster and ran away in order to protect his daughter and his crew from himself. Emily is the doctor on the ship. She isn’t a qualified doctor in the slightest, but she is EXCELLENT--especially since she has a healing ability. She’s also a master of poisons and makes the brig her own “clinic”.
Emma wears an eyepatch bc she was born with an “Evil Eye”. If anyone sees this eye, they will be corrupted by the abyss, like Leo was. Freddy was partially corrupted, given his weird undead look, but Emily saved him. Emma has powers because of the eye, but she doesn’t understand them and can’t control them, so she doesn’t use them.
I headcanon that in COA, some people are born with natural powers. Emily is one of them. She can heal people and actually can also remove the erosion from someone, like she did for Freddy. However, she most likely won’t do this for anyone other than her crew.
Emily acts ENTIRELY different from usual. She is no longer mild-mannered and calm, but instead she’s harsh, brutal, and fearsome. Emma is techinically the captain, but Emily is the unnofficial captain of the crew (not in a mutiny sense, but rather she just looks after Emma and the crew)
The “ending” of the story is that someone (maybe Netherwalker?) hunts down Emma for the eye. There’s this huge battle and Leo comes back as a sea monster to DEFEND his crew and daughter. In the end, the rest of the crew manages to escape on a small boat, while Emily sacrifices herself to distract the attacker. She goes down with their ship. 
I’ll be willing to write any of the characters on the ship for any threads~ just know emily is a priority!!
Kira:
Kira is part of COA III. I have her skin design, “Spiderlily”, drawn out, so just ask me to see it. She has platinum blond hair now with a black and red color scheme. She has a black mask upon her face and her right eye is covered by a a few red spider lilies. 
When I made this verse, I HEAVILY based it off of Meg from Hercules. Kira was in love with a man who found an abyss treasure and was corrupted by it. He was dying, and Kira would do anything to save him. So she found the Netherwalker and begged for him to save her love. In return, she agreed that he could have her soul (which the Auctioneer collected, will explain more below).
Once he was saved, it didn’t take long for the man to leave Kira for another woman. So she was sucked into the Netherwalker’s followers and now is just another pawn of his. She doesn’t agree with him and what he does, but she has no room to speak. He owns her, after all. 
Kira’s ability is that she can create a red mist that she can use to attack with. It has many purposes, like being able to teleport herself (sometimes others, but thats really hard on her) places, create a fog too hard to see through, and of course being able to condense the fog into items that she can use (mostly used to fight, like swords, daggers, and throwing knives). She’s been eroded but passed the erosion onto someone else, just like everyone else has. 
Mostly interacts with Auctioneer, as he’s her warden of sorts.
Norton:
So Patchwork is dying XDD A little while ago, he became greedy and obsessed with collecting abyss treasures. Of course, this caused him to be affected by the erosion. Once he realized the true nature of these “treasures”, he joined the Bureau in order to help them. He knows he’ll die soon enough, but he wants to use the remainder of his life to fight against the Abyss.
Norton doesn’t actually have a power, unlike the rest of my COA muses. Instead, his magnets are an abyss treasure that Trickster lets him use and protects him against. 
He gets REALLY bad nightmares of the abyss and often just refuses to sleep. The further into the story you get, the closer he is to death. By the time the rest of the bureau is going against the Netherwalker (like seen in the music video), he’s on his deathbed. Probably dies before they come back.
However, there IS a side verse where he DOESNT die and instead goes on into COA IV. Teleoperator found a way to save him and remove the corruption from him, but in doing so he had to basically become an entirely different person and thus lose his memories. She does this, and a few years later he can be found as a racer in the Great Race. Highway Cavalier is a LOT nicer and happier than Patchwork. He’s happy with his friends but gets harder and colder as they keep losing the race, and they keep losing their lives. Sometimes he has weird dreams about people he can’t remember but feels fond of...but he doesn’t think much into it.
Joseph:
Auctioneer is probably the most loyal out of all the Netherwalker’s followers. He collects Abyss Treasures, especially ones made by the Pickman himself, and will sometimes auction them off at his auctions. The only person who comes close to matching his collection of Abyss Treasures is Trickster, who is his equal and rival (i wouldnt mind writing trickster in threads uwu i have a lot of lore for him and would love to write him but aesop isnt a muse of mine so i dont XDD)
Joseph has an ability that is amplified by his own specially made abyss treasure, a camera. When he takes a picture of someone (it has to be voluntary, tho), he can capture their soul inside the photograph that is created. He can’t CONTROL people with the photograph, but he can watch what they’re doing and talk to them telepathically. Also, if any damage comes to the photograph, the person will feel it and go through TERRIBLE pain. If he so much as tears the photograph in half, the person will die immediately (he has a photograph of Kira that he uses actively). He uses this primarily in deals, and not many people know about this power of his.
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phoebehalliwell · 3 years
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I've always wondered about paige meeting a witch/darklighter hybrid? Because she is big on nurture vs nature but how would she react to someone who half of their existence is deadly to half of her? But at the same time they are both half witch?
okay but like!!!!! literally Literally we meet a fucking darklighter season 1 whose sole purpose was to knock somebody up like light magic has all these rules to follow but who’s setting the rules for dark magic? the source? the source doesn’t care oh no there are more evil babies in the world aaaa ?? it was the same thing with hecate it was the same thing with the manticore hell it was probably the same thing with cole. evil loves having lil half-mortal babies it stands to reason that the idea of an extra power boost from having a kid with say a witch (or hell even a warlock or any other mix up of the two) would only be a plus. it stands to reason that the girls should have run into So Many splits like. Especially darklighters!! given that we were literally told there’s like darklighters who specifically exist to just knock other people up (which also. girl what. boo.) i mean honestly? honestly? i don’t even think we need a hybrid just straight up someone with a mortal mother and a darklighter father like that alec/daisy situation who was raised by his mom for the majority of his life until his father found him and took him (maybe killing mom who’s 2 say) and tried raising him as a darklighter. but it’s like. you know. he was raised for the most part as a human kid and yes he had some powers teleportation and then like. instant kill. but like. those aren’t well no teleportation is but instant kill is not a fun power especially if you’re just supposed to be a normal dude!
and then i’ve talked about this before (this is where i would link the post If I Could Find It i searched for. 30-40 min. i do not know where it is. aaaaaaaaa.) i don't think darklighters are born with any innate imperative to kill whitelighters or anything, the same with demon warlocks etc. i think it's all a cultural thing like killing the most witches makes you like. idk you know popular celebrity within ur faction. like uhh u drive a whole bunch of whitelighters to suicide ur fuckin steph curry of ur darklighter clan the man can't miss. So. if we have a guy let's name the guy let's pick a name that means darkness. kieran!! okay so lil kieran was raised by mom and knows very little of his powers, and you know mom knows even less she doesn't even know his father's name. But!! mom is a future whitelighter, she's just a bit wayward at the moment, so her whitelighter cloaked her so that she can raise her son in peace n safety. but oh no!! mom's dead. and the cloaking on kieran was only an extension of mom's cloaking so now he's out in the open n here comes dad. and you know we'll say kieran's a bit of a fucked up kid nobody's perfect so like. he's never really quite fit in anywhere and he's always been terrified of his powers but when his dad offers him a people like him who understand him who can better hone his powers (we'll say he's in highschool) he's like this is lit!! and i get a crossbow! and he's always kinda taught that whitelighters are the enemy they're these abominations souls reanimated by the elders as weapons, stacked w powers, they can never move on, and they just have to behave as pawns to the elders whims. bc like. this kid was raised human he really doesn't get hunting whitelighters for like sport so his dad tries to keep him a little bit sheltered from the true nature of it all thinking that once the kid is older, once he gets the taste in his mouth he'll come around. so kieran spends ages 17 to like 23-25 underground in the underworld learning about darklighters learning about the lineage he's from but there's like. like he's a smart kid. and he knows there's something they're not telling him. so when he hears talk of two of his peers going on a hunt, he kinda tails them just to see what's what, only to see them maim a witch to kill their whitelighter, and who should their whitelighter be if not kieran's dead mom. and they leave both the witch and the whitelighter for dead bc like. kieran's mom can't heal with the poison in her veins it’s a slow working poison so they'll both be cold as the grave in 24hrs. and kieran like runs up to his mom like a) you're alive?!? b) you're a whitelighter?!!?!! and c) you know like what the fuck. because that's his Mom. she couldn't have like. told him. left him a sign. and you know like heart to heart blah blah blah and the witch is over here kinda saying like hi?? darklighter? what the fuck? and kieran's like aaaa because he can't help all he can do is like kill and the witch is like doesn't matter bring me a map and a crystal and using kieran's mom's blood scrys for the nearest whitelighter like u should be able to sense them go bring them to us and maybe i won't vanquish you, a threat kieran has literally never received, and quite frankly the terminology makes him a little bit uncomfortable.
and you know where else should the crystal land if not south bay social services, and you know kieran really doesn't know what he's looking for he's never hunted whitelighter so he was never taught to sense them but evidently it's in his power so he gives it a shot but like no. what's he even looking for? he has no idea. so instead he just runs up to this raven haired woman about his age like fuck it do you have a phone. and paige is like ??? who do you need to call who are you here for what are you here for do i need to grab you any forms and kieran's like fuck it if you go to this address you'll find to people in mortal danger. they need help. and then like. bolts. and paige is like what the fuck!!
and you know blah blah blah they manage to save the witch but they can't save the mom bc they don't know what poisoned her and it kinda makes the papers Because It's Fuckin Weird especially because the mom already died?? this woman literally must have faked her own death five years ago only to die from an unknown poison in a san francisco apartment. and then you know blah blah blah within a month or two it's revealed paige is a charmed one! a witchlighter! and then comes the reveal of darklighters and their poisoned arrows and paige is like wait. i've seen this before. and describes you know the scene with the witch and the woman and leo's like. i should name the mom. soleil. leo's like that was soleil she was a whitelighter, and piper's like wait why were you there, and paige is like i don't know there was this guy who told me to go to that address to save them and then like ran away, and piper and phoebe are like that's fuckin weird. and he approached u specifically? and paige is like yeah he pushed his way across the office to get to my cubicle. and piper phoebe are looking at leo like what does this mean what does this mean, and leo's like idk. and meanwhile kieran's trying to break from the darklighter clan but he knows he can't get out unless he's cloaked. so he goes back to try to find the witch he saved to ask her to cloak him but she says she doesn't have that power and he's like okay well who does and she's like only a whitelighter does and he's like okay could u find me one and she's like r u fucking joking. you want me to get a whitelighter here just so u can kill? and kieran's like what no i'm not i want out that's why i'm here i don’t wanna be a darklighter anymore, and the witch is like that's not a choice you have it's in your blood now the only reason i'm letting you live rn is because evidently you’re soleil’s kid she was a good woman i trusted her but i don't know you. and i don't trust you. and if you orb in here again i swear to god i will vanquish you. just so we can get you know a solid dose of light magic not trusting kieran, not based on his actions (hell even in spite of his actions) but purely based on his lineage.
so blah blah blah kieran start spending more and more time above ground and just trying to subtly distance himself from the clan which his father can sense and quite frankly like yes is concerned but is more just like. pissy because he's making him look bad, especially the fact he's gone this long without a kill it's making him look weak. so his dad's like fuck it we're going hunting together and now it's like. obviously non optional. you're gonna kill a whitelighter or you'll you know get the boot lose the only people who could possibly understand you so you know it's kieran and dad above ground and he's teaching him to sense for whitelighters teaching him what the skill is and kieran's actually picking it up quite well and honestly. honestly? he might make this kill. he can't survive alone. he doesn't even know who he is. and his powers are calling him loud and clear to a whitelighter. meanwhile paige is out on a mission with like piper and leo and immediately drops everything breaks from the pack starts running because there's that guy!! and kieran realizes that the call is coming from the raven haired girl. and that his dad is right behind her lining up the shot.
and so you know act now think later he grabs paige and they disappear into a cloud of black orbs and reemerge right behind his father and kieran calls his crossbow and shoots his father. in the shoulder. it's intentional. kieran has great aim. and he won't kill. and his dad's fuckin pissed and honestly about ready to kill the both of them when piper rounds the corner and blasts him to bits. and well. now kieran's definitely left with no family. so he says a quick apology to paige and orbs out. and piper and leo are like that one was a darklighter too!! and paige is like no no u don't get it. he just saved me. and they're like He What? why'd you follow him into this alley in the first place? and paige is like that's the guy! the guy the soleil & witch guy who told me to save them. and leo's like a darklighter working to save a witch and whitelighter? that's not right. paige i trust you i don't think you're lying but i don't think you know the whole story. he's a darklighter. they're evil. and paige is like then why did he save me? why did he save the other witch? why’d he try to save the whitelighter? and piper's like for all we know he's the one who shot her you saw his crossbow. and paige is like no this isn't right there's something we don't know here. blah blah blah they go to the original saved witch who informs them that while kieran is a darklighter he's soleil's son and paige is like !!! i knew it! he's an innocent we're meant to save him. and piper and leo are like respectfully, paige, no, that's way too dangerous. bonus round if piper's pregnant here pre- orb shield knowledge. and leo's like paige he can't help it it's nature it's just who he is. he can't be good. and paige is like why. why not. and leo's like he's half darklighter. and paige is like yeah and i'm half whitelighter. and piper's like fuckin yeah babe that's The Point he's a danger to us. and paige is like no the point is if it's all so predetermined if there's no fighting what we're born as they why was i awful. why was i a brutal cruel evil miserable child? you don't know me and you don't know the things i've done (pushing back the paige dead parent reveal for later) and it doesn't matter that i have literally angel blood i was terrible! there was nothing in my nature that held me back from that vicious side. i chose to grow. i chose to become the woman i am today and every morning i wake up and chose that it's not some predestined halo around my head it's me waking up every day and choosing to fight for the good in this and you know what i think he's part of it.
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urlocalbunny · 3 years
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Headcanons of what would be the children of boys with MC ???
Aaron:
Probably more than two, but they'd have a gap in between. Two sets of twins. And in full moon Aaron would be apprehensive.
Three boys and one girl, maybe? He is a very present father and the kids absolutely adore him! But they wonder where daddy goes in full moon... You tell them the truth, but hey, they're worried!
One day, however, Aaron turns and goes for his usual hunt in the forest, but then he hears something faintly familiar in the woods. Yelling.
"Aaron! Aaron!" He sort of knows who this is. It's his mate. He is wary, but stays put until you're in sight... With two cubs. His eyes widen comically and he snorts, jumping in surprise. He sniffs the air wildly and realizes those are his cubs. He accepts them, nodding at you and turning his back to you. You sigh in relief, knowing you can count on him, but god... They're going to eat the shoes.
You thought the other two were normal children, until Ivan yells your name into the distance and when you run to see them, well. There are four little holes on Ivan's hand while he holds a diaper. You can only sigh. Good luck, mc.
The third boy and the girl are the little bats. The boy is a little weird but that's how Aaron likes it. Hehe. Like, he's just so cute! One time he'll be right here in daddy's arms, and in the other... Huh? WhERES MY BABY? HE TELEPORTED.
And the girl! Oh, she's so sweet! Once Aaron danced for her and when she swung her fat little arms, she created a shockwave that made him fall on his bum! That's it, daddy's little warrior!!!!
He's a great dad and he'll train his kids from the beginning. He's gentle yet strict, and your kids seem to love training with him. He also likes reading with his kids and teaching them about nature and how to hunt in their human forms. (The kids like it bc the actual rewards are fruit for the cubs and frozen bunny blood popsicle for the vampires.)
Raphael:
Just a little boy.
He's tiny, and no talk him bc he angy. Yes, he's got some bite to him. He likes wearing big hats and he paints. Biggest garden assistance for Vlad. (He likes Aaron more. He has a plan of owning the garden when Vladimir dies, but he doesn't know yet... ToT)
He's very educated and supportive of people with disabilities and he learned to paint with different textures and layers so his daddy can feel his work!!!! Raphael cries every time.
Raphael is comprehensive and tends to pay his head way too much every time he does some "oopsie". He also supports his kid and teaches him how to do stuff without seeing because he thinks of the day his kid will have to fend for himself and walking at night in the dark wasn't good when he first started.
Raph trusts his kid with the boys, but Aaron and Vlad are his go-to if he can't spend some time with his kid because he knows they'd only do what they think it's best for the kid. He also eggs his son on when it comes to exploring and running around. No sun though!
(You often catch him walking around during daytime. Y'all just Do. Not. Know. How y'all can't see where he is hiding until you realize this kid can literally conceal himself anywhere. Also he's very good at not burning himself so you stop worrying at some point and he'll just start sleeping during day)
Was he doing that just to scare Raph? Oh, he'll see what's scary. No kisses tonight >| |(
He's also extremely protective of his kid even though he tries to get him to see the world. A minute late and he'll be lectured severely, so please step in sometimes or they'll fight and raph tends to cry. It's gonna take him time to realize his kid can handle himself because he's fragile in your vampire's eyes.
Beliath:
You can see her ANYWHERE. She has two beautiful curled horns and an extremely ravishing purple hair full of curls. She isn't stoppable. She's confident, smart, social, a business woman! She's five! she's not only Beliath's daughter. She is fashion itself.
Beliath is her number one fan, supporter and manager. He'll spend the rest of his life moisturizing washing combing and zipping things up and down if that means his daughter is the most ravishing kid in this city.
One day you'll wake up panting to your kid sitting in bed looking at you as if she was a psycho though. You were dreaming just now of your kid waving at you. Yep, she's got her daddy's powers. A few months later, she's going to be itching her back like crazy. Beliath is going to be jealous because hey! He had no wings! >:(
One day he'll wake up with her appearance all twisted and then she'll create the sickest illusions like a goose head and a penguin wearing glasses. You'll have a lot to teach.
Beliath scolds her A LOT and she gets grounded A LOT because she's him but smaller and they fight a lot over how she should learn how to be humble and try her best instead of just thinking she's the best but she won't listen bc... She's the best?
She's the greatest performer ever. Knows how to dance and that's what she does the most. Another party animal for you. Now turn them Barney songs on!
For some reason, she absolutely LOVES Raphael. I think it's because he's got shiny outfits and he's chill so she can brush his hair however she likes AND read her books for him. Lives rent free on the library reading princess stories and complaining about the princes.
Vladimir:
A boy. He's shy, sweet and super articulated. His hair is blonde and he loves to wear nice clothes. Another one who'll bicker with his dad like he's talking to a kid his age.
Also he can hipnotize others in a specific way that turns him invisible when he wants and he can be persuasive, but it's hard to develop your powers when your dad is always complaining about the millions of cars you left on the floor and you're grumpy so every time you hide on the walls and turn invisible he complains and you go "tch, old hack" and he hears you. Tough life, grrr.
Even though they fight SOMETIMES, all they talk about when they're together is cuddles, studying and gardening. Vladimir is the actual mom if you wanted to be addressed to as the mom, just forget it lol, if not it's fine, you have a mom for your son.
He grounds your kid and talks it out calmly because even if they fight, your kid is a very good listener and he knows when words are well-meaning.
They sleep together a lot like two old grandpas and you have the advantage of Vladimir not knowing about modern cameras. Have fun!!!
Your kid ends up growing up to be an ABSOLUTE gentleman. He's funny, smart, handsome and really educated. Momma owl Daddy is proud!!!
Ethan:
IT'S A BOY AND A GIRL. BEWARE. HELPAJDHIAJDIAJD
They're trouble. Trouble.
Ethan yells, rips his hairs off, jumps and rolls on the floor but these kids, they're absolute raccoons! The girl literally can control minds Neil style and the boy is a tracker just like his father.
Honestly they're smart, but they just like to use it to make his dad go crazy!
They love each other tho, they rarely get in trouble and they behave when you say so. They're scared *laughs evil laugh*
Ethan teaches them many things and since he can't fight so much, he sends them to train with whoever they like. The girl usually hangs into Beliath's sleeve and they get along super well. He teaches her hand in hand and the boy goes with Aaron because his tracking skills are developing. Sometimes he takes both of them and teaches them knife combat and how to be a good medical support because again, being a vampire is tough.
The boy likes embroidery and Ethan thinks he's weird because he makes some sick Dinosaurs but he tells him to go off. He likes how well made they are.
The girl enjoys violence fighting more so she trains extra hard.
Ivan:
This is the sweetest kid of the bunch. Your little girl. Is the shy baby you see clinging to their companion's shirt/pants in the street. She likes gardening herself, not with anyone else. She plants some flowers in a space Vladimir didn't use and she shoos everyone off, but gently bc babygirl is never mean... Until she finds out she has fangs
She's going to run to you crying and pull her lips up and squint as if struggling and then BAM, fangs are out! You'll have to explain with Ivan what's going on. She understands *sniff*.
Ivan is head over heels for her. They read together, they play board games and she's extremely skilled at every single one. She loves to pursue education on her favorite themes and she likes fiction.
Little girl also loves fashion and she wants someone to teach her how to sew. If you don't know it's okay, she'll put extra effort in learning to teach you!! "You'll see, we'll be sewing in no time, I'll teach you too!"
Sometimes you wonder if you're being a parent right because she just doesn't get grounded. You speak once, she never does it again. Is she really Ivan's daughter? "Hey!" "Shut up, go back in the hole or I'll use the stick!" "Ouch, stop!"
She turns very aggressive when she fights though, to the point where you're worried about the others when they teach her, because she fights like her life depends on it and she doesn't hold back until she overexerts herself. Turns out your daughter can use some sort of gravitational field and if you don't stop her, she might send one flying or pull them right into her clutches, so be careful.
Overall 100/10 great kid. Ends up designing hundreds of clothes and lives her life peacefully.
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a-simple-complexity · 3 years
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Things about the creepypasta improv thing my close friend and I have been doing since 4th or 5th grade (maybe longer):
- My character doesn't really have a cp name yet but has been around for 401 years
- My character, when not at the mansion, is roomies with JTK (and he steals cheese its)
- Vivian's (the close friend) character is close to Slenderman and has a older sister bond with Sally
- Aside from the Jeff The Cheeze Itz Snatcher gag we have more running gags
- Such as Masky locking Toby in the closet when he's annoying only to turn around and see Toby standing there.... MENACINGLY (lol)
- LJ punts Mr Widemouth across the mansion weekly
- EJ is no longer allowed to cook for others after the barbeque of 2017. We miss you, Butler Bill
- Tuesdays and Thursdays Viv's character takes pets and children out the mansion for a playdate while everyone else has some fun
- Viv's Hidden Stash of Tuna TM
- My Hidden Stash of Vodka and Rum TM
- My character might have a problem but then again immortals aren't really affected by alcohol like most mortals are
- Speaking about my character: Holy. Pets.
- They have a bunch of guard dogs (despite them all being guard dogs they are pampered like you wouldn't believe)
- Pastas respect COVID stuff. Slender ordered everyone to scatter until it's mellowed out alot. Slender caught it at some point. They say get the vaccine and wear ya damn mask.
- There's a "Community Garden". It's just a few pitcher plants, some Butterworts, a killer cow plant (courtesy of Ben pulling some strings), a small patch of wither roses (courtesy of Herobrine), and a oran berry plant (courtesy of a few poke-pastas), rose bushes, etc
- Holidays are fun too
- Christmas time is filled with my character and Viv's taking Sally, Jane, Clockwork, and Nina out for a "girls" night
- Granted Nina only gets taken along bc despite the love-hate relationship between my character and Jeff, Jeff deserves time away from Nina during the holidays at least
- Also despite Jeff hating Nina he appreciates the knives she gives him (and return he gives her some sort of card)
- Due to staying in the vents constantly and stalking everyone my character gets everyone what they think they like would like
- Christmas lights everywhere. Splendor always gets Offender to put the star on top the comically large tree just bc
- Despite it not being Christmas music, everyone listens to Hotel California by The Eagles
- and watches Christmas movies (what was that Christmas movie with Tim Allen?)
- Everyone plays in the snow. Jeff decides to start a snowball fight and Sally makes a snow man.
- Everyone wears something festive and it's normally an ugly sweater thanks to Trender
- Spiked nog anyone?
- Thanksgiving includes everyone gathering together and having fun
- A small hunting trip is planned instead of a football game (the hunt takes place the day prior bc no one wanna miss the parade)
- Sally's favorite float is the Charlie brown float
- You know how the president pardons a turkey? Slender pardons a victim (and has been doing it since meeting Viv's character bc of a joke Viv made)
- My character makes mashed potatoes or some sort of really outdated dish from the 1700's
- The Slender Bros, Viv's character, Sally, Toby, Smile Dog, Jeff, and Nina all watch the dog show after the parade
- Nina is kinda allergic to dogs and doesn't really like them but bc of her lingering obsession with Jeff she puts up with it
- Offender and Trender argue over what dog they think should have won (funny to watch to grown immortal-ass men argue over this)
- Slender carves the turkey
- The pardoned victim is allowed to stay for dinner granted a majority of memories get changed (not really erased, just changed)
- My character, Jeff, and Ben all walk through the woods before dinner and get fucking plastered (and think no one notices....everyone notices)
- the week of Thanksgiving the tree gets put up (acceptable if it's the week of Thanksgiving, any other time then it's just weird)
- My characters mom, (considered the co-founder of Hell) pops in, steals a couple slices of pie, and leaves
- Halloween is celebrated kind of like Thanksgiving and Christmas
- My character decorates the mansion with various bones
- 31 Days of Horror Movies (at some point it's decided to watch Earnest Scared Stupid and some of the serious dog lovers opt out)
- The Slender Brothers dress up as the three musketeers. Splendor is Porthos, Offender is Athos, Slender is D'artagnan and, Trender is Aramis
- Jeff and my character do a duel costume by dressing of as Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer from Cats (musical not movie, duh) alternatively they dress as Rum Tum Tugger and Mr. Mistoffelees.
- Sally dresses as Carrie or a fairy princess
- Jane, Clockwork, Nina, Viv's Character dress up as four of the five muses from Hercules (Viv changes last minute to a cat due to her character having cat ears and a cat tail)
- Toby, Masky, and Hoodie originally wanted to dress as the three musketeers but after slender took that idea they decide to dress up as separate things. Toby dresses as Masky. Masky dresses as the phantom of the opera and Hoodie is a ghost.
- Smile dog dresses as a hot dog :P
- A small hunting trip is planned and Jane and Clockwork take Sally trick or treating
- Everyone finishes the month with A Night are Before Christmas (a classic)
- Not many celebrate Valentine's day
- It's really only the Slender Bros, Viv's character, My character, Nina, Toby, Masky & Hoodie, and Sally
- and by Sally I mean she just leaves candy from the candy bowl everywhere
- Masky and Hoodie make a day of it since Slender gives them holidays off. They eat cheesecake in the woods and just spend the day together.
- Toby spends the day alone but still celebrates in his own way. Eating waffles.
- Offender (in our improv thing he's not....yeah....he's just a hopeless romantic that does consensual hook ups) and my character spend his their leaving roses out at restaurants and going to bars for hookups. They have a bunch of stuff worked out.
- Viv and Slender spend the day in bed or lounging in the living room watching some cheesy comedy.
- Trender spends the day as a self care day seeing as he's alone at the moment. Every day is self care for him but it's even more on Valentine's Day. He goes all out and even treats himself to a fancy restaurant.
- Splendor likes going to neighborhoods and leaving cute little poems on people's doors then heading to the zoo for personal time.
- Nina harasses Jeff who, in return, leaves the mansion and heads to the apartment him and my character share.
- New Years is something everyone celebrates. While some have resolutions others have new quotas they're trying to meet.
- Sally tries to stay up and watch the ball drop (she's only seen it drop twice before falling asleep)
- My character and Viv's character get shit faced
- Jeff normally sits there with a beer in one hand and Smile Dog beside him
- that's really all that consists of New Years
More about our two characters:
My character:
- a 401 year old demon thing
- in our universe hell is ran by the 7 devil's as well as my characters mother. Hells more of a city than a pit.
- Has lived with Jeff as a roommate since late 2018
- Use to be with Herobrine but broke it off with him for unknown reasons.....they're civil and still good friends. He's one of those people that could make a good boyfriend but is best as a close friend
- On their 400th birthday a crackening happened in Hell that enhanced their powers and they were hunted by Zalgo. Luckily a truce was established.
- Has been by Viv's character side since her characters soul was first created. More in Viv's Character's section
- Y'know those dogs that were talked about in the beginning? They primarily stay at their mothers mansion in Hell.
- Also all cats go to hell but they don't get hurt. They like to watch. Sometimes if you're lucky you might get a celebrity's cat. That's how my character got their lovely (and kinda douchy cat) Delilah. She likes to pee all over people's suits just bc she's like that.
- They were born in 1620 but are progressive
- Still liked fashion through the ages
- Maybe not the health damaging ones
- Is able to fly and teleport but due to back pain and migraines prefers to stay grounded and rarely use teleportation
- Doesn't actually kill much but has had souls sold to them (job as a demon....doesn't really need one though....is Crossroads Demon)
- Had a one night stand with Trender about 240ish years ago
- Does have proxies....it's those souls they take and barter around for
- Souls in hell can be used for currency depending on whether or not they sold their soul
- Anyways, was at some point known for having an obsession with chainsaws and hoodies...still has a bunch of hoodies and a chainsaw but doesn't really use them much (is more of a flannel and gun person now)
Viv's Character:
- her character managed to get everyone's favorite dwarfed rag doll cat from the internet
- Her character use to be with Entity 303 and ended up Slenderman
- that makes two of us who were with a Minecraft pasta and ended up with a slender brother lol
- I think her character is called Kat or KC so for now imma call her character Kat
- Kat has an addiction to tuna and milk
- Also has cat ears and a cat tail which are both very sensitive
- when Kat's soul was created my character was created. Even though Kat has been through many many reincarnations my character has always been alongside her. Even though my character doesn't die they act as a guardian towards Kat.
- Has a tendency to sit up in the cat walks and within the walls of the mansion alongside my character
- Gets lost in the forest from time to time and needs help getting out
- Despite being with Slender she has her own room to store her weapons and stash her plans.
- If I'm not mistaken Kat also was with Toby for a short while but doesn't talk about it much. Imagine dating your ex-lovers boss lol
- Disappears for up to a week sometimes without saying where she's going and when she comes back she acts as if nothing happened
- When both Kat and my character started living in the mansion they shared a room for about a year.
- Kat had a personal garden that was completely wiped out by Zalgo before a treaty was established and she still hasn't forgave him
- The garden mostly had marigolds and a few small plants. The only one that really mattered was Audrey the Venus fly trap.
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synchlora · 3 years
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pspsps spare karl hcs? 👀
YESS hell yeah !!! sorry i did not see this earlier jxascjjcsvksjcskv. gonna try and split it up so it somewhat makes sense
interdimensional form:
this is his normal form
he is literally not from this dimension, god knows where he's from honestly
this form is difficult to describe bc the laws of his dimension don't apply here so he kinda constantly appears to be shifting in ways that don't make sense to anyone seeing him
but he is generally about 9 to 11 ft tall, various bright neon colors, and always seems to have energy (maybe electric but almost appearing magical as well) crackling off of him
can't really express much human-like emotions in this form bc his face doesn't allow for it (technically he doesn't have a face, what u see is something he has projected in order to mimic human emotions and show how he is feeling)
still feels these emotions, they're just hard to express in ways that humans would understand
travelled a lot through dimensions and timelines within those dimensions
ended up overexerting his abilities and crash landed in the dream smp's dimension (this is where his portal is currently and he hasn't tried to move it yet)
can no longer leave that dimension, though he can still time travel throughout it
sapnap was one of the first people he met after crashing and, while he was shifted into human!karl form, he was still very unstable and it was quite obvious he wasn't entirely human
fast forward a lot of time, but i like to imagine that he does eventually show both sap and q this form, though he was very afraid they wouldn't love him
but ofc they still do
these fuckers love their 10 ft tall interdimensional being of a boyfriend
shapeshifting & "possession":
karl can shift to other forms in order to hide his actual appearance
one of those main forms is human!karl, which is what we see most of the time and how most people on the smp know him to appear
this form is difficult for him to maintain but it is manageable
but because he is losing his memory often, he slips up on the details occasionally (hence the inverted spiral hoodie a few weeks back)
it is a very cramped form because he is fitting ~10' tall of weird energy that should rly not be confined to a ~5'10 human form
but he feels obligated to continue to keep himself in this form because he genuinely doesn't want to scare off any of his friends or god forbid his fiances
possession on the other hand is a whole different ballgame
i hinted at this in an older drawing but he can basically possess people in a way
we see it in the lost city of mizu where he basically becomes the person known as issac
i imagine this works similar to the stranger in tma where he becomes the person and those around him still believe they are the same
not quite as sinister as that though because while he does take over their body, their thoughts and beliefs and decisions are still based upon who the person was
so like. karl becomes the person in a way because he acts how that person would have
he gains all of who they were while still managing to maintain his own self as well
which is why it can be very taxing and extremely dangerous for his memory
because he essentially became this person for a while, he ends up garbling his memories up with those of the people he posesses
normally, he can de-possess people and they will have those memories of what happened while they were possessed but it'll just be a little foggy to them
but obviously that did not happen with issac which leads to the next point
death:
this is the interesting part because he has gotten killed multiple times now during tales from the smp
i think that when he got killed while possessing issac in mizu, he basically left his body and scrambled to escape through the portal before any really bad consequences happened
because he had to leave so suddenly, he ended up losing a good portion of his memory there because he wasn't able to smoothly transition out of possessing someone and back into his home form
his intention was never to get issac killed and he still feels incredibly guilty over his and the other fishemens' deaths
when he was killed in the masquerade, i don't think he was possessing anyone (considering his appearance and name) which is interesting
but we also don't see him actually die which makes me think he teleported out through his portal before he was killed
either that or the in-between is a place where he goes when he "dies" during travel and has to recuperate
it's hard to tell because we don't really know at this point and i have a feeling canon will very quickly disprove this ahvishcksgkcs
to me, i think the in-between is either where he goes when something very bad happens during his travels or it is just generally an in-between dimension he travels through in order to make it to another dimension
his husbands and recurring characters:
this is basically just me being sad but i believe that karl recognizes people through his travels who act/appear like his husbands and friends
i have two theories here so bear with me
first theory is that he meets their ancestors / descendents or even what's considered reincarnations perhaps and recognizes them as such
this one's a little more realistic whereas the next one is more sad
second theory is that karl is slipping so badly in his memory that it seems like he is seeing the same people over and over as various different people
so for example, maybe james from the masquerade reminded him slightly of sapnap so he ended up seeing/hearing him like sapnap
and this is where it gets fuckin sad because, in the end, these people don't know him
he may trust james like he trusts sapnap (though it's hard for him to remember who that even is anymore) but james doesn't know him at all
but seeing these people die is so intensely emotional for him, yet he doesn't fully understand why he feels so attached to someone he met less than an hour prior
anyway that is all bc i don't want to make this ungodly long ajfgksjcgskc so here u go !!
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the-final-sif · 4 years
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listen i would love to see more of the whole "katsuki's been kidnapped multiple times" bc it's one of my favorite headcanons i've seen for him. i love ppl adding layers to his character and his experiences and i wanna know what you have planned past everyone finding out
Okay, I’m gonna go off of the “they found out after Katsuki was kidnapped again and they only knew that it happened when he finally showed back up to school.” route.
Katsuki gets kinda weirded out by how everyone’s reacting so weirdly, he doesn’t understand why Aizawa is asking him so many questions or making a big deal out of it. Sure, he’s kinda guessed by now that it’s not normal after all, but that doesn’t explain any of this.
They’re in Recovery Girl’s office now, Aizawa has already been fussing at him and gotten a report on his injuries. Recovery Girl is out at the moment but she should be back soon. Katsuki has already tried to argue that he bandaged all his injuries up himself, but the glare he got from his teacher put a stop to that.
Now they’ve moved on to Aizawa questioning him on his previous kidnappings and his teacher just seems to be getting more and more stressed out. Katsuki doesn’t understand what he’s doing wrong, but it’s freaking him out because he’s been rationalizing and dealing with all of this for so long. Finally, he snaps.
“Why do you care?” And he meant it as a sarcastic remark, but Aizawa can hear the tremor in his voice, can see the minute shake of his shoulders, how Katsuki won’t meet his eyes. 
“Kid, you got kidnapped. Of course I care about that, I’m your damn teacher and part of my goddamn job is keeping you safe.” He wants to say more, wants to say that Katsuki is a fucking child, and that on it’s own should be reason enough for him to care. That it’s not just a part of his job, he cares about Katuski himself. But Aizawa knows better then to say that. Maybe one day, but not today. Not when Katsuki’s already trembling and exhausted. Not when his pride couldn’t bare the insult of care, of being seen as the child he is.
“I mean, yeah, I guess I can kinda get you asking questions about the shit that went down this weekend, even though I had it under control, but what’s up with asking all these fucking questions about me being stupid when I was younger? None of it matters, I got out, I dealt with it, I learned from my shitty mistakes and I moved on. It doesn’t change anything. I’m fine.”
Sometimes, Aizawa wonders if Katsuki says these things because he genuinely believes them, or if he says them because if he doesn’t, if he didn’t dismiss the pain and shrug off the weight of his fears, then he might shatter under the burden of it all.
“Katsuki,” and that one word holds too much fucking emotion in it for Katsuki to take, he wants to curl into a ball and go to sleep, his heart is still to raw and his brain too messed up from having chains on his wrists and a muzzle forced into his mouth again. “Just because you aren’t dead or maimed doesn’t mean you’re fine. This stuff, it hurts. It leaves scars. I don’t know what the fuck was going on in your childhood that you were left to deal with that by yourself, but you aren’t alone in this anymore, okay?”
It’s been a long fucking weekend, and Katsuki is so tired that he can’t keep his walls up. Not quite. So he doesn’t argue, just ducks his head in a half nod as he tries to pretend there aren’t tears welling up in his eyes.
Aizawa can’t help himself then, he sighs, sitting down beside Katsuki on the bench and slinging an arm over the kid’s shoulders. It’s a gentle motion, a light squeeze, but Katsuki leans into it just a little bit and that’s enough.
Recovery Girl gets there soon after, and Katsuki protests healing at first, he doesn’t have much stamina left and there’s no way he can go back to class afterwards, but Aizawa tells him on no uncertain terms that he is not going back to class today, and so he relents.
That leaves Aizawa with a sleeping teenager who he doesn’t want to leave alone and 19 worried teenagers waiting for him back in his classroom.
In the end he sends Mic to tell them class is canceled today. None of them were going to be able to focus anyways, and they need some time to recover from the shock anyways.
All-Might finds out not too long after that, and his mind flies back to Katsuki on that night when he fought Izuku. He struck suddenly, by how it wasn’t the kidnapping itself that upset Katsuki. It wasn’t the villains that could’ve killed him, could’ve done all sorts of awful and terrible things to him. It was seeing someone else hurt trying to rescue him that upset Katsuki. That he was unable to understand.
Izuku put it together too. They both understand and can’t understand at the same time.
Katsuki wakes up, and he’s still freaked out by how much people care, but he accepts it with time.
Things settle down eventually, they go back to normal, but not really. Not quite. There’s a new normal now.
Katsuki isn’t left alone much anymore. Not unless he’s in his room and he’s kicked everyone else out of it for some peace and quiet. If he’s going out somewhere, it seems at least one of his classmates is following after him. Most often it’s some subset of the bakusquad. If he’s going home it’s almost always Izuku. He’s surprised by how often it’s people outside of that group though. All of his classmates have gone with him at least once. Even though he bitches about it, he doesn’t mind that much. 
There’s a new set of rules for students too, when you leave the dorms you give an estimated return time, and if you’re more then an hour late and you don’t text your homeroom teacher to let them know you’re okay, they start looking for you.
Katsuki was annoyed by the new rules until some gen ed kid with a rich family actually got their lives saved by it. It makes the whole system feel less targeted, so he settled down about it. 
Aizawa doesn’t follow the kid around, god no, he’s not going to invade a student’s privacy like that, but he makes it more of a point to know where Katsuki is. To know when he’s going home, or just going out.
It quickly becomes apparent and then suspicious to Aizawa that Katsuki never goes home. Even Shouto goes home sometimes, he has siblings he likes to visit apparently. Katsuki doesn’t.
When Aizawa had asked if Katsuki had ever talked about the fact he was kidnapped with his parents, the teenager had laughed. Then quickly shut his mouth when he saw Aizawa’s worried expression. What kind of parents don’t notice their own damn kid going missing? Aizawa had been wondering for months now.
Summer break is coming up, and most of the kids are supposed to go home. Katsuki is one of the few that isn’t excited for it.
After getting approval from Nezu, Aizawa approaches Katsuki two weeks before summer starts. He’s staying at the dorms over the summer, for safety reasons. Aizawa already got approval from his parents. They didn’t even question it. Didn’t seem to care much. Katsuki is wide eyed, but he doesn’t protest, not even his usual bluster. He just agrees, muttering that it’ll be nice to keep up on his training, and that’s that.
It can never be quite that easy though, and that very fucking weekend Katsuki was in such a good mood that he went out with a few of his classmates to the mall. All it took was him getting distracted by something in a shop window, he pauses for a moment to look at it, and then the assholes were on him. Something’s over his mouth, and he’s slipping into blackness.
He wakes up chained up with a headache, and he’s fucking tired, but he knows the drill.
It doesn’t take him long to pick the locks, doesn’t take him long to dispatch the guards and tie them up. Doesn’t take long for him to find the dumbass behind this whole thing and start a fight. Every bone in his body aches, but he keeps fighting.
The whole thing can’t have taken him more then two hours, so he’s fucking shocked when just as he takes a nasty blow to the shoulder, the front door of the place is broken down and there are people rushing in. He’s still kinda drugged out, so it’s surreal for him as suddenly Aizawa is there and has hands on his shoulders, and he’s being steered outside.
His classmates are there. Some of them anyways. Izuku isn’t. He’s apparently inside, having only just been hauled off the now unconscious villain.
It’s like he’s been teleported to a new world, and it’s confusing and strange, the idea that people noticed he was gone. That they cared enough to come get him, when they probably knew he could handle it on his own.
He must’ve said that last bit out loud, Aizawa’s grimacing now.
“Just because you can handle it on your own, doesn’t mean you should have to kid. You deserve some goddamn heroes in your life too. Now sit own here and let the paramedic look you over.”
Katsuki does, he answers the paramedics questions as best he can, and they take some blood and tell Aizawa something about sleeping it off.
Sleeping sounds awfully nice right now.
The adrenaline is fading, and some part of Katsuki screams that he needs to stay awake. That he needs to get himself home or they’ll catch him again. That this is do or die.
But that’s not right. Aizawa’s here. His classmates are here. Other people are here, and for some reason they’re helping him.
Even if Katsuki’s brain is still worried, his body knows it’s safe, that it doesn’t need to keep pushing and pushing anymore, and so he fades out. Trusting for once in his goddamn life that he doesn’t need to save himself. For once in his life, it’s okay to let someone else do that for him.
When he wakes up, he’s in the infirmary, and he can see his classmates scattered around the room, Aizawa in a chair to his side, Mic leaning on Aizawa’s shoulder and All-Might to their left. Everyone’s asleep. It’s like 3 am in the morning.
One deep breath in, one deep breath out. Katsuki lets himself relax on purpose this time, and as he falls back asleep he does it knowing for a damn fact that everything will be okay when he wakes up. He’s not alone anymore.
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To Do List:
What's up, my Herd of Nerds?
Anyway, as you can tell, tomorrow is AU Sunday. But, because it's one after a 'my input' one, it's a follower input AU day! Yay!
So, send me your AUs and I'll put all of em in a hat to pick one randomly. The winner is picked and posted and we'll all try and make headcanons about your AU.
Done:
Zombie Apocalypse AU :: (https://hermitcraftheadcanons.tumblr.com/post/618314308275863552/zombie-apocalypse-au-masterpost)
Pirate AU ::
Currently In The Raffle:
-Toy Story AU.
-Ever After High/Descendants/Vaguely 'nex gen priness' AU.
-Eldritch Horror AU :: Or if that's a bit too out there, a more normal Monster AU. I don't care, but in my heart, I know Cleo is some kind of eldritch horror. Zombie is far too easy.
-Eldritch Monster AU! Hermits are all Lovecraftian horrors who all individually decided that they wanted to pretend to be normal and are all trying to hide their otherworldliness. I also feel like Mumbo or X or someone as the one actually "normal" player on the server would work well. Most hermits don't know that everyone else isn't normal either, but some find out about friends maybe.
-Rabid Debate Club AU :: Random weird au idea where it's basic hs/uni au but like two of them try to start a debate club, then invite some friends just so there's enough people; cut to like two months later, it's all the hermits just fighting over whether or not pineapple should go on pizza or not lol it isn't very good i'm sorry but ya know rabid debate club AU.
-Animal/shapeshifting AU :: (Suggested Twice.) Every hermit can shapeshift into one token animal. (If it's something like "dog," they can only turn into one breed and color of dog, EXAMPLE: doc can shift into a black sable belgian malinois, but not anything else.)
-Wedding Planners AU :: Hermits work in various unrelated businesses such as a bakery, flower shop, etc., but see each other semi-often bc they're semi-often called upon to work together by another hermit's wedding planning business (obvs if you couldn't tell i know absolutely nothing abt wedding planning & businesses n shit lol but it's the /concept/ of it yannknow)
-Avatar: The Last Air Bender AU. (Suggested Thrice.)
-Fusion AU :: (Also suggested by Anon.) (Suggested Twice.) What if Hermits could fuse with each other? (Viva and Jumbo fused into MumboJumbo.)
-SCP AU :: The hermits have spooky powers and are kept locked up bc of it (or they have to keep the world safe from monsters and cursed objects!)
-RPG AU :: I feel like someone already thought of that but I am just wondering about it lately :p -🍋
-Adventure Time AU :: The hermits live in a post-apocalyptic world and the Lich (bad guy) is making everything decay. They need to gather all the gems (belt colours) to unlock the Enchiridion (a book) and have one wish each granted from Prismo (multiverse wish granting dude) before the Lich does. Only 4 elements can enter the multiverse: Slime (The Lich & Jevin), Redstone (Tango or Mumbo?), Ice (Stress), and Dirt (Grian, much to his dismay). Only the elementals can see the book. Grian's the protagonist with his sidekick Scar. He originally started collecting the belts because they were shiny but eventually decided to read the book and find out what they were for when Scar said he didn't see it. Doc, False, and Iskall are major obstacles because they don't believe the book exists.</p>
-Total Drama Island AU.
-Magical Girl AU :: Zedaph's the lead magical girl and rounds up a bunch of other magical girl hermits.
-Pokeman AU :: What are the Hermit's roles in this world? Who's the Champion, Elite Four. Are they scientists? Trainers? Do they compete in competitions, do they specialize in types? Who's everyone's starter? Has anyone encountered any legendaries?
-College AU
-High School AU
-Wizard101 AU :: I (🦊) recently got this AU idea and recently started going off somewhere with it in terms of writing, but, like, Hermitcraft meets Wizard101. Tons and tons of magical shenanigans, monster hunting, and idk what else.
-Magic AU
-My Hero Academia AU :: Headcanons can be about which hermits would have what quirks and occupations based on them.
-So I'm writing an AU where there's a second game of Demise but 5 years later. So far the first 2 hermits (Joe and Xisuma) have died, and their dead forms are cracked with an arrow in his chest (Xisuma) and cyborg (Joe). So since it's Saturday, I'm looking for what some skins would look for.
-City AU :: I mean this is really just a normal everyday AU.
-School AU.
-Terraria-Minecraft Fusion AU :: Who chooses what class? what events do each hermit prefer? how to they deal with the world infections? preferred biomes? Favourite NPCS? It has potentiallllll.
-70s/80s Teen Horror AU :: (like Stranger Things, Carreie, The Lost Boys, Halloween, etc.) -🦇
-Demi-God AU :: Sort of like percy jackson (everyone being the children of different gods from all different cultures.)
-Supernatural AU
-Marching Band AU :: Xisuma is the band major and all the show music is the remixes. I need to come up with some ideas for uniforms. Outfits and flags for the colorguard too.
-Different Eras AU :: (Suggested Twice.) All the hermits are from different time periods or eras. Like Wels is from the mediveal/dark era, Mumbo is from 1890-1920's, Iskall is from 2030, TFC is from 2020(?), Cleo is from 2130, etc!!! Like the mobs/animals became feused with humans, is when the mob players came from.
-Star Trek AU :: Like maybe they could be on one ship and each have different roles like engineers or doctors? I don’t know if this has been suggested but hope you enjoy! - 🐦
-House Mates AU :: ApartmentAU but scaled down?
-Atlantis AU :: (Could be merged with Mermaid AU???)
-Fighting Game AU :: Some influences would be Street Fighter, Mortal Kombat, and Ultra Instinct, that kind of stuff.
-Time loop AU :: The hermits each have to deal with their own time loop.
(All those above in red are from our community's lovely Anons!)
-Superhero/superpower AU :: They each have a unique power/powerset that is in some way connected to their personality. (ie Mumbo *could* control electricity because of his love of redstone) Some Hermits may even choose to be "villains" and prank their other servermates. If you need power ideas, I've got a couple. (12u3ie)
-Daycare AU :: The recap peeps are the caretakers :P (-@tikauniverse.)
-Incredibly Long Cross Country Train Ride AU :: they all are in the same train car, telling stories of where they’re going, backstories.)
-Stuck In An Airport AU :: pretty similar to train au but they can be going diff places.
-Doctors AU :: they’re all doctors working at the same hospital.)
-Circus AU (Also suggested by an Anon.) (Suggested Twice.)
-Spy AU (Also suggested by @shadeswiftdraws.) (Suggested Twice.)
-Runaways AU :: The hermits are all teenagers who have run away from home, they all live on the streets until TFC takes them in. Head canons can be about backstories, living on the streets, or when they’re with TFC.
-Criminals and Police Officers AU
(-@lookitsspacekween)
-Dancer AU :: I mean, I already got a list kind of planned out, but headcanons for why specific styles are chosen would be appreciated! :) (usedtobelucythefallenangel)
-Broadway/Musicals Hermits AU :: The hermits are all casts of various musicals and when this newly-built theater opens up they all fight for which musical gets to play in it first (they have a riff-off maybe?) musicals mainly included are Hamilton, BMC, DEH, SiX, Beetlejuice, etc (feel free to add more!) (-@heyitsroby.)
-DnD AU (Also suggested by Anon.) (Suggested twice.)
-Mermaid AU :: In honor of the end of Mermay
-Space exploration AU :: There could be different ships, command centers, aliens.... Maybe someone could even get stranded/crash on a new planet? Who knows, could be fun.
-Paranormal/ghost hunter AU :: A couple Hermits could be the ghost hunters going to haunted locations to prove/disprove their hauntedness, others could be camera crew, owners of haunted buildings, or even the ghosts themselves.
-Camping/Vacation AU.
-Summer Cottage AU :: They all spend summers/weekends along the same shoreline and do different summer activities together. Outdoor fun and shenanigans!
-Space AU :: like star trek or similar.
-I would say evil clone au but I think that's pretty much the entire Hermitcraft tumblr right now lol. (Suggested twice.)
(-@shadeswiftdraws.)
-Magic AU :: Magic exists and all the hermits have powers. They can also summon a weapon but what that weapon is depends on the hermit. I'm thinking it'll take place in a sort-of Demise 2 in S7 with a big war. So far I've got: Grian - Cloning himself to his different personas (each has a different power). Xisuma - Making barriers, teleporting, and transforming into different mobs. Scar - Making mutant plants & boosting other hermits' attack & health. (-@datsaltyperson.)
-Demon AU :: Something enters the overworld and turns into a supernatural style-demon through Dimentional Distortion. Who gets posessed first, who goes crazy, and who actually kills it? Honestly I think that, if anything, Tango would know how to gank it, for obvious reasons. (-@fireflower-dusk.)
-High Street AU :: Everyone owns a different shop on the same street or some run a shop together (-@violets-arepurple.)
-Cat AU :: Either they're were always cats, or Hels turned everyone, including himself, into a cat, and they have to survive and overcome challenges in the Season 7 world. An example of a challenge would be Cub's a Sand Cat(the cats that always look like kittens no matter how old they are and live in deserts), and everyone's not sure if he can actually swim, so they have to find a way for him to get around without involving water. (-@scp10000.)
-How about a secret AU.. Every hermit has their big secrets and when Grian joined. He doesn't really know anything about those secrets even till season 7. Not many hermits talked to him in S6 anyway.. Mumbo was the closest to him so they would have regular chats For Iskall is mostly business related things Grian wants to know why so he set out on a quest to force the others to at least talk to him so he wouldn't be lonely. (-@babylightstudentbiscuit.)
-Hermit Family AU :: Xisuma is very busy dad but when he isnt busy the kids and younger hermits annoying the hell out of him. Grian once asked to use Xisuma's computer and crashed the whole thing trying to download illegal gamesites and get money off the internet. Mumbo and his trains run through the entire house and Xisuma trips on them daily. (-@gamerutx.)
-College AU!! But they are not students. THEY ARE THE TEACHERS (-@ivi-prism.)
Ones I planned to do anyway but Hermitblr Hivemind and all that:
Battle of The Bands AU: i believe u once mentioned a bands/ battle of the bands au... thats my jam... (Anon.)
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calocera · 4 years
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SPOILERS FOR CATS 2019, here’s my hot takes and opinions
be warned, THIS IS LOOOONG
First off my overall opinion, i LITERALLY cannot say whether it was good or bad, like lots of critics say it just...is beyond that. It’s VERY fun and that’s all I can bring myself to say, I have LOTS of problems with it but I can’t even say that they make the movie bad. It is definitely worth watching
OPINIONS ON CHARACTERS:
Victoria: she’s good! I appreciate that they kinda left her personality blank other than her innocence since that’s pretty much how she always was, still not super thrilled with her as a main character but franchesca did the best she could
Munkustrap: I loved him! he was more of a main character than I would have expected, but they STILL cut all the charm from his lines... why do I love him then? Robbie fairchild did AMAZING background acting, whenever he was in frame he was always doing something SUPER munkustrap-y and making cute dad faces. he was dealt bad lines but he worked around it best he could. Also his legs were normal so...epic fail
Mistoffelees: 😒😒😒😒😒🤢🤢🤮 disappointed but not at all surprised...he was just a Woobie, a softboy uwu nice guy. I felt like I was seeing fanon 2013 loki in cat form. THEY MADE HIS SONG A SADBOY PITY PARTY SONG...WHY WOULD YOU MAKE THE 11 O’CLOCK NUMBER SLOW AND SAD???? Where is the smug little shit who’s vague and aloof yet confident and joyous? He was murdered by his evil homophobic shadow clone. I’m not even gunna indulge the fact that him and Victoria were a thing, I’ll go over that later. He also just constantly looked like the crying cat meme his eyes were so red and watery it was horrifying, yet somehow he wasn’t the worst character , that leads us too.....
tugger: what.the.fuck.did.you.do.to.this.boy. HE GOT THE TREATMENT I EXPECTED FOR MUNKUSTRAP! HE WAS DEMOTED TO BACKGROUND CHARACTER! not only did he not sing mr. mistoffelees, he literally did nothing other than his song, he never interacted with ANY characters besides jenny in 1 scene. I know cats has no set main characters but he’s undoubtedly one of the most important characters and he’s like...the least important named character in the movie. ALSO Jason Derulo was not sexy at all. There was NO hip thrusting NO sexy meowing NO glamrock, he was just an asshole and if I hadn’t already seen the original I would have either completely forgotten about his character or though he was the worst character. I’m so fucking angy I cannot express.
Girzzabella: ngl I expected better. Her acting was great but with the horrible effects I couldnt get invested but I’ll touch on the effects later. Her singing was good, but I expected it to carry the movie and it wasn’t at all the best song in the movie, I’d say she’s about as good as I expected she’d be but the movie itself was more enjoyable than I expected so she was less significant
Old d: she was fine, she LOOKED the part definitely, she didn’t have as large a presence as ken page but I wouldnt expect that of her. Her singing wasn’t the greatest though, her voice is fine by it’s just NOT suited to old d’s songs. I would have preferred she play a female gus bc her voice is very sweet and frail, not at all built for belting like her songs required.
Macavity: he’s just...eh. He’s basically a comic relief villain which sucks. He does practically nothing besides kidnap people, say a cheesy line, and act like a caricature of a 90s cartoon villain (and not one of the fun ones) like theres a scene where he poofs away and when he does it he goes, MACAvityyyyyyy and fades away its so unintentionally funny but it just makes him so lame as a villain. not to mention he doesnt even die at the end or get any satisfying conclusion he just gets stuck on top of a statue and his powers suddenly stop working (for some reason??)
Bombalurina: fuck that, I am simultaneously glad she only was in the macavity number bc fuck off Taylor Swift but also disappointed bc she deserved so much better.
Bustopher: 😟 never in my darkest nightmares did I think I’d see bustopher Jones deepthroat multiple crayfish but here we are. Somehow THIS was the most sexual song, I cannot begin to name the fetishes checked off by this performance bc itd hit word limit. Let me just say that I said multiple times out loud, “damn bustopher kinda a freak with it 😏😏” like I CANNOT stress how weirdly sexual it gets. And ofc its all otherwise just haha funney fat guy eat food and burp and fall down. He also breaks the fourth wall a few times which like, fuck you
Jenny: exactly what was shown in the trailer. Unfunny fat jokes and slapstick humor. Also they focused WAY too many shots on her cat pussy and I wish I was making that up. Also of note is that the cgi on the rats and cockroaches are drastically worse than the rest of the movie, like not just bad designs the effects are BAD. also they translated they whole gumbie cat fur-shedding as her wearing fake skin over her outfit which would be fine but UHH the fake fur is skin tight??? so it literally looks like shes ripping off her skin and she does it multiple times its fucking terrifying
Mungojerrie and rumpelteazer: meh, they are fine as characters, not quite as energetic as I would have liked but they didn’t massively fuck anything up? The song was horrible, they went against the beat for...some reason? Like it’s a song with a very distinct rhythm and they split up the lyrics so weirdly. I liked that they followed through with the lore of them working for macavity
Skimbleshanks: YES YESSSSSSSSSS HOLY FUCKING SHIT 💗💕💖💞💜😳😳😳😳😳😳😳💜💛🧡💚💖❤️💗 i absolutely CANNOT express how good skimbleshanks made me feel. He looks like a leather daddy with his chains and suspenders and hat and stache, I hate that I’m saying this but uh...mr skimbleshanks sir😳 we were actually screaming it was so fucking good. Watching this movie was worth it just for skimble. Unironically. I’m listening to the song as we speak. It was kinda weird that they moved the tap dancing to this song but that’s more of a detractor from Jennie’s and a plus side to skimbles since it’s good tap
Gus: good! Ian did a good job of course, no one doubted that he would.
Growltiger and griddlebone: not racist but still absolutely horrifying. One of the worst parts of the movie, I actually got squeamish looking at griddlebone a few times that’s how bad she looks
Everyone else: not that good. I couldn’t tell who was who, all their personalities were annoying, I’m on imdb as we speak trying to figure out who even was supposed to be who. Demeter is completely butchered and jemima just isn’t there, doesn’t sing her part, it all sucked man.
Tech talk:
CGI: okay so here’s the thing, the effects are good. GREAT even, the issue is how fucking horrible the designs are. The lack of cat nose, mouth, and hairy cheeks makes them all look disgusting. Also the feet. Holy fuck why do they have feet. THERES A FUCKING SCENE WHERE TUGGER GRABS VICTORIAS FOOT AND SNIFFS IT. IT LASTS LIKE 5 SECONDS. Old Deuteronomy, Gus, and Cassandra (bc she was already bald) are the only characters I’d say look anywhere close to decent, grizabella looks okay in profile but head on it’s all horrible again. its really such a shame bc the sets are gorgeous! i really hope this movie gets some form of recognition for its sets.
the editing and directing was DOGSHITTTTTTT there are SO many scenes where characters just teleport or parts where people are singing and no ones mouths are moving its really distracting
Other things:
it’s OBVIOUS that the critics calling this movie horny have never seen the original. I’d definitely say the movie is LESS HORNY than the play. It IS however waaaaaaay more uncomfortable with its hornieness, so I’d say in that regard YES, the horny stuff is much more gratuitous and off putting despite there being an overall smaller amount than the play. ie everything bustopher jones does
They changed a BUNCH of lyrics for some reason?? Like they cut verses which I understand but there are like a handful of lyrics in almost every song they just...change. like...okay? All changing lyrics is gunna do is make people who knew the songs frustrated when they can’t sing along
the dancing was incredible! shame the cg just fucking invalidates all of it bc your mind doesnt register it as real people doing real moves
OKAY THE FUCKING CATNIP SCENE so when taylor swift showers everyone in catnip they all just fucking start moaning and go FULL HORNY its TOO MUCH like misto full on does an o face like eyes rolled back mouth open  and munkustrap is like ass up panting i still havent processed it im fucking terrified to encounter it again. they cut the orgy? yet added THIS??? k
WHY did they take 2 of the most iconic characters who FREQUENTLY interact and just
a. Never even have them make eye contact
b. Make 1 a background character
c. Completely change the personality of the other one
On the topic of Victoria/misto: I am just still at a loss as to why they thought it’d be a good idea? They completely removed Plato and for what? This? Pathetic. It’s worth noting the weirdly munkustrap has WAYYY more chemistry with both Victoria AND mistoffelees then they did with each other (there’s a part where it looks like misto and munk are about to kiss for some reason?? munk ALSO gets all touchy feely with skimbleshanks???) anyways munkustrap king moments
tldr; its worth watching, the best parts were the sets, the dancing, skimbleshanks, and munkustrp fucking CARRIES the weight of the world with his face acting. the worst things were a big fat tie between bustopher, tugger,misto,jenny,growltiger and griddlebone, and the godawful design choices
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dogcopter · 4 years
Note
In the midst of all this pink angst I'd like to know what your take is on onion
ONION: Clearly deep lore. Clearly cursed. I believe pretty firmly that he can perceive the astral plane somehow, and I think his ability to teleport is not just a gag for the movie but canon. (possibly travel via mindscape? I’m not sure how he’s bringing his physical body along) He may know about Steven’s mom’s ghost? 
Takeaways from reviewing Onion appearances that add up to that: Onion can understand written and spoken English, but only speaks mwah mwah and usually to people other than Steven. He likes to hang out inside a vending machine in Funland Arcade. There’s a running joke that he does criminal things and is a chaotic force - he’s been shown with a crowbar, stealing, destroying things, and entering other people’s places. Sometimes he breaks into Steven’s house and hides in his cabinets. He seems to adore Steven.
This got REALLY REALLY long so I’m putting it under a cut, but heres my pre finale Weird Deep Onion Lore Summary, if anyone cracks the onion lore I’d love to know.
He’s tried to convince Steven to kill an animal at least twice, and each time after Steven spares the animal, Onion shows him it’s still safe at the end. In Onion Trade, he demonstrates an ability to haggle for what he wants and then tricks Steven into giving him a magic artifact by trading Steven his own Ranger Guy toy. He steals Baby Melon. In Rising Tides/Crashing Skies, Ronaldo says, “You can’t keep quiet forever!” and Onion seems to dislike Ronaldo. He appears to recognize Steven in Lars’ body in The New Lars. He has no problem openly committing crime in Beach City, but won’t take credit for someone else’s crime in Doug Out.
Sometimes their surroundings go dim when Steven’s with him (sinister trade face in Onion Trade, the multiple power outages in Onion Friend when Steven is in Onion’s home, whistling to summon friends in Onion Gang) and I think this may have to do with astral lore somehow, not simply dramatic effect from Steven’s POV. His office seems to have Rose Quartz symbolism: it’s hidden behind a poster that says THE DOOR, down a dark vent/tunnel. It’s a warmly lit private room with a massive angelic portrait of Onion, on a blue background surrounded by white and pink bubbles and yellow and white stars (diamond colors). There’s a rug, some string lights, and a blue chest full of bubbled gems collectible figurines from the arcade machine he lives in at Funland. He offers Steven the coveted Rose Quartz Explorer Gal as a gift, and shows off a psychic ghost Invisible Gal to him as well.
Lore sidenote in case it’s relevant: in Monster Buddies we know someone can be teleported inside of a bubble and then break out if conscious; as of Gem Drill we know the consciousness - of both Steven and Cluster fragments - can create a bubble from within the mindscape that is also somehow in the physical world, bubbles seem to bridge the gap between astral lore and physical world. the bubbles are somewhat fragile and match the color of the gem who created it. In Kindergarten Kid (I think?) Peridot’s bubble goes somewhere other than the Temple, explained as “home”. So the creator of the bubble has something to do with the location it goes to, it’s not a property of the bubble itself. It’s possible “home” isn’t the only destination. Steven also sees a similar star when astral projecting in Escapism as appears on Onion’s portrait. Maybe this tells us something about how he teleports?
He seems genuinely afraid when Aquamarine and Topaz are hunting down Steven’s friends. His office is referenced again when he goes missing and Sour Cream is putting up posters. He talks to Topaz, and if mwah mwah language works the same way as the watermelon language (sometimes they have actual dialogue written and Zach is imitating the same syllables with mwahs, kinda like Pikachu’s voice actor) I think he might be saying “Topaz, help”? He says a Mwahmwah that really sounds like the way Aquamarine said Topaz a moment before. He’s frightened or startled to hear Aquamarine mention the Onion on Steven’s list. He has an odd look on his face when they enter the gem ship and seems calm but books it ASAP once they’re free.
And (support for possible teleporting Onion) at the end of I Am My Mom, he disappears into thin air at some point while Steven is giving himself up. (He’s not shown in the reaction shots with everyone)
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He has a couple cameos where he looks directly at the camera; I know he does it in Raising the Barn and What’s Your Problem. In Reunited he points out the Diamond ships arriving on Earth and he looks neutral while everyone around him looks afraid, despite his fear during the Aqua/Topaz debacle. In Change Your Mind while Lion (Rose) is looking up at the Diamonds, Onion is looking up but in the opposite direction. In the movie ofc he teleports around. He also cries out to Lion for help and Lion rushes over to help him when the town is falling apart. 
In Future he has still been weird and appeared in a lot of episodes. In Guidance, Smoky somehow misses him when getting everyone off the rollercoaster in slow-mo, but he’s riding in it again while it floats in the sea. He’s funny and weird during the acting bits of AVSE, including the “NEVER LEAVE” collage, his psychic waving doll (ROSE QUARTZ?) and pied-piper whistling a bunch of LH Gems off a cliff. There’s some kinda message there but I’m not high enough to understand anything related to Onion in a coherent way. He showed up in Steven’s dream in In Dreams, too. Back in the first series, he’s strangely realistic in Rose’s Room - legit, all this spooky Onion stuff put together HAS to mean he’s related to the astral projection mindscape bullshit right???
Here’s my most galaxy brain pre-finale Onion headcanon: The reason Onion showed Steven his tape in Onion Friend is because Onion has seen Steven’s tape from Rose Quartz or knows about it from her. It sounds like an explicit birth video but is labeled “Happy Birthday Onion” kinda like Steven’s is “For Steven”, and ofc Onion can read, so my headcanon is he didn’t receive that tape from Vidalia but found it himself, following Steven’s example.
I’m suspicious he might have a connection to the pyramid temple story (just bc that mural is the last unexplained bit of astral lore, who knows if it’s gonna come up in Steven’s story at all, there’s not much time left) but have very little to base that on. Onion is a big fat mystery and I’d love to know what ideas people have about him.
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emmas · 4 years
Text
so i finished tlou and i have.... thoughts
first of all I’m SO glad i didn’t spoil myself before playing lmao it really would’ve ruined a lot. That being said I kind of..... felt Joel’s death coming? idk i just knew they were going to kill him in this game. I didn’t think it would be so soon tho...
but other than him dying, which made me cry, the first 12-ish hours were fucking amazing. I couldn’t stop playing & when i wasn’t playing i was THINKING about playing. Ellie & dina have SUCH a good dynamic i love them together. Their banter, dina actually helping in combat etc it was all great... until they made us play as abby again.
I was ok with like the first couple hours? seeing more of the wlf & the stadium & their conflict with the scars. it was interesting to see imo. but it dragged on for SO damn long holy shit. Like in the present time, you KNOW abby is holding a gun to ellie’s head in the theater. So you just want to go back to that asap. so after the first couple hours i just... wanted it to be over?
it also didn’t help that abby’s story was all over the place. your time with Ellie was straight forward. you know what she wants, you always feel like the story is moving forwards but abby... was a mess. you’re trying to get to the aquarium, you meet yara & lev but leave them behind, finally get to the aquarium, you get a cut scene and then.... you teleport back to yara & lev... you pick yara up and teleport AGAIN to the aquarium... it just felt like the only reason why they didn’t want yara & lev to go with abby in the first place, is so that she and owen could have that alone time together and that wouldn’t have worked with the attention on yara’s arm...
I liked lev & abby’s team up. Lev is by far the most useful companion to have in combat and their dynamic was nice. but i just did not care about the plot at all.. that hotel section was phenominal gameplay wise... but i just wish we got to go through there as ellie. bc i was just tired of abby & i didn’t care about yara’s meds & i just wanted to get out of there & move the story forward so we could catch up with the present time. I just constantly felt like ok now get back to the aquarium find your dead friends and go to ellie. but every. single. time. it was just ONE more thing that they came up with and it was just exhausting to me.
the scars island looked absolutely phenomenal ngl but the reason for being there was once again just stupid. lev runs off so you and yara go after him!! but yara dies so you left with 2 people to rescue 1 and 1 dies so you leave with 2 again....
and then we FINALLY get back to ellie but we have to fight her? I can’t believe they made us choke ellie out like that. it was fucking brutal i never wanna see that again i felt sick pressing square over and over again... i’m glad no one actually died tho i guess. but i screamed when abby was about to kill dina jfc.
and then i thought the game was over. those farm scenes were lowkey weird. i liked seeing domestic dina/ellie but it looked like the game was gonna end right there and then which wouldve been awful considering we just played the past 6 hours as abby which i didn’t care for at all. so i was glad it wasn’t over but it also felt kinda weird.? it was just cut scenes, time goes on,... they survived abby & seattle ah yeah ok but ellie goes back out there tho. 
and then we had to play as abby AGAIN bro i was done afdgjfd but i actually don’t...hate the ending. Ellie leaving dina & continuing her revenge was.... yeah. but i’m glad she ended up not killing abby. it was heartbreaking to see ellie like that but I’m glad she got closure and then just let it go. 
Idk what people are freaking out about re: the ending. I thought dina & JJ must’ve gone back to jackson and thats where ellie set off to? not sure why people believe she’s off to survive on her own but ok.
anyways, the first 12 hours were perfect and i enjoyed myself a LOT. abby’s part dragged on for so long it exhausted me & was followed by that weird farm time jump/that looked like an ending but wasnt an ending? i’m glad we ended the game playing more of ellie. I waited SO long for this game. i’m glad i didn’t get spoiled. I’m glad ellie or dina aren’t dead. i’m glad ellie got closure and is now doing somewhat better. I think if abby’s part was like.. 5 hours shorter it would’ve been 9/10 but having us play as her for so long and so close to the end of the game... ruined a lot of my mood tbh. The dogs & being able to go prone were great additions to the game. the new infected spiced things up (shamblers were scary at first but easier to kill than they look but the STALKERS CAN SUCK MY DICK) The acting was Great and the facial expressions were beyond amazing. ashley is SO good as ellie, her acting in joel’s death scene made me cry. the world looked gorgeous & I didn’t have any glitches. I also really loved the skill trees & amount of guns/things we could craft.
OVERALL things could’ve been better but I enjoyed myself and i’m glad the game exists.
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im supposed to be working on uh literally anything else but instead i gotta get this outta my brain
tl;dr: slag is causing the Psychos to spread across the galaxy bc the Calypsos are using it to both brainwash their cultists and give them ‘special powers’. i mean, its not just slag, it’s eridian ruins/tech, too, but the Twins are utilizing slag the most. which explains the slagfalls and also the processed eridium everywhere still. im hoping sirens will help us cure this- starting with Krieg because slag/Psychos have some sort of connection to the other dimension, just like Sirens, but more messy. also this insanity from the slag/Psycho-ness is literally Mayhem and us fans are taking part in it- we’re the cult irl. plus, this game is gonna be about love and the relationships we have with the people we care about and that’s all the roses mean because i’m feeling s o f t tonight. tomorning. whatever maaaaan
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“… among their fractured ramblings, it is tempting to try and find a deeper meaning…”
“[their madness] defies attempts at explanation or containment. from an isolated region of a single planet, to a nearby moon, to systems throughout every human colony, madness is catching…”
you can’t tell me this isn’t just BEGGING for us to figure it out
so, for my own sake:
i have a theory.
i kinda sorta hinted at this with my destroyer theory but i REALLY wanna go all out in this because i think this is actually something to think about… mostly because ive seen A Scene… and i wants to talk about it, vh. i wants it
now im gonna `lol` ignore everything about my lost legion eternal theory and start entirely from scratch. it’s also 1am here for my apologies if this comes across as incoherent because wow i should be asleep but fuck it i got research to do
so it all starts with psychos. i mean i guess it does. it’s gotta right? i brought in pictures it must
anyway
the guide admits that the first psychos came from Dahl’s prison colonies
the ones abandoned on pandora, now ive kinda talked about this b4 but imma talk about it again bc uhhh fuck it? why not.
so we know a lot of the bandits left on Pandora mutated because of the eridian ruins/the key. this is referenced mostly in sledge’s mine
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its like world-wise called headstone mine but i never remember that. SLEDGE’S MINE
notice that line “most went crazy and many were physically mutated as well”
so i think it’s safe to say whatever they found in there started causing psychos to appear on pandora
im saying that i think eridians are the cause of Psychos across the galaxy
i have a lot more proof for this so please sit back and enjoy the ride because i think its really really cool
so lets look at hector’s logs from the newest dlc
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“one of my boys found a shiny alien trinket”
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“a few boys went rabid already, had to put them down”
now idk if there’s a connection here, but it’s interesting that both times, people who found these eridian artifacts started going crazy soon after
shit i mean even tannis begins to go off the wall after her and her dig team start investigating the eridian sites. although if that is because of the horrific incidents that befell her and her team or the ruins idk for certain. i’d bet its the shitty incidents tho
there’s more to this, hang on…
alright, so, lab rats? they’re pretty cool right?
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we all like lab rats! personally, chase is my favorite, but adam is hilarious. that final season, huh? pretty wicked… wasn’t really a fan of the island setting but you know what, to each their own. it’s cool they actually progressed the show instead of staying stagnant. that got my respect even if it moved in a direction that wasn’t my cup of tea.
anyway Q U O T E S:
“Hyperion opened my eyes. i didn’t want it!”
“needles in my eyes!”
“don’t you look at me!”
“i can see! i don’t want to see!”
so there’s obviously something ~fucky~ going on with the lab rats and whatever it is they can see from the hyperion experimentation. we know hyperion had a hard-on for slag experimentation and you know i wouldn’t even be shocked if they were injecting these rats’ eyes with slag.
the best part is their reactions when they’re phaselocked. Unlike most enemies, the lab rats will only react to maya’s action skill, and none of the other VHs.
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vs something like a marauder:
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who has all these voice lines for Zer0, Axton, Sal (merc), AND Maya
the lab rats will only ever respond to being phaselocked.
and what do they say?
“i see the universe!”
“i see infinity!”
“it’s beautiful!”
 (now weirdly enough i was told on the tv tropes for bl2 that the lab rats will say “I see it more!” when phaselocked by maya, but i couldn’t find a source for that. couldn’t even find it in the files i extracted from the game. i checked an online video just to double check because you know, my extraction could’ve been off, but it wasn’t there, either. even phaselocked one a bunch as maya and i couldn’t get it to proc. so, idk where that info came from, if someone could give a source/proof that would be awesomesauce.)
sooo what do other enemies say when phaselocked? usually… they just see blue. so nothing quite as interesting as infinity.
so wtf is up here? 
im thinking the experiments hyperion performed on the lab rats are letting them see the dimension maya locks them in. i mean, tbh, i think they can see into that dimension whenever they open their eyes, but maybe maya’s phaselock makes sense of it for them. because they seem to be in indescribable agony outside of it
but the lab rats aren’t the only enemies that only react to being phaselocked
turns out the psychos only react to phaselocking, too
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they also have some fun lines:
“I can see forever!”
“I’m home!”
“I’m inside… I’M INSIDE ME!”
with some other nonsense thrown in for fun
so idk, just taking a look at this, it’s clear the psychos and lab rats are seeing something that the other bandits just aren’t seeing. most reactions are demands to be released or that they’re flying, or just straight up confusion as to what’s happening.
is that the side effect of their exposure to slag/eridian tech? yeah, imma bet on it. their mind machines probably broke because they saw something they weren’t supposed to (possibly into the other dimension. the one maya phaselocks them in) without proper ‘protection’ and thus went batshit. like maybe sirens are protected from the craziness of the other dimension because they’re ‘chosen’ or whatever. iunno.
i do think it’s most interesting that the psychos seem familiar with whatever they’re seeing, calling it ‘home’ and well… themselves. 
so why in the fuck am i talking about all this? because i think it ties straight into bl3.
let’s bring back lab rats and their experiments
you know how hyperion was supposedly injecting their eyes with slag? and it caused them to shoot those weird blue lasers out?
what happens to the destroyer’s eye in tps?
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yeah we inject this bad boy with slag
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“i only juice the eye with a little bit of slag at a time”
which ends up causing a singularity around the eye the second time you do it
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“if this slag stuff is powering the laser, we need to force as much of it as we can back into the eye. the increased power will trip a failsafe and let us shut everything down”
oh, increased power? you mean like how Sirens get increased power from absorbing eridium? that kind of increased power?
we know in bl1 the Destroyer seemed to have something like slag in it- those glowing pockets on the tentacles that explode into purple goo
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even its attacks are like purple liquid. which, you know… would be quite similar to slag (tho tbf, these attacks actually hurt instead of applying the debuff)
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and boy does the destroyer not like it
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“warning. space-time instability detected.” after injecting the eye with too much slag. but… why? it got too powerful? are its powers directly connected to the other dimension and by increasing it’s strength a bunch we created some sorta link between our dimension and the other one? 
i mean given the other dimension allows for teleportation and shit, im not surprised there’s a space-time instability!
i mean we’ve all seen it do the eye laser thing, and the tentacles, and the purple goop. but causing space-time instabilities… that’s new isn’t it? kinda like how Sirens get new powers after they absorb a bunch of eridium???
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so i wanna take a guess as to what the destroyer is
we know its ‘immortal in its own realm’ but when it’s taken an actual body that we can kill it, so odds are, it never actually died in bl1 OR tps. i imagine the Destroyer we see in bl1 is just a small fragment of it, and that it’s consciousness can be spread out across hosts. *EDIT: actually the lovely @automata-systemata-hydromata reminded me that you can find the destroyers brain in Helios. The other stuff I left in should be fine tho I thiiiink (thank you!).
and that, y’know, is cool and all, but what IS it??
Jack uses slag to give it a power boost, but it doesn’t seem to be happy about it when it happens. in fact, it even seems scared.
to be honest, all we know is that the eridians locked it away for some reason
idk im just spitballing here, but what if the Eridians were the creators of the destroyer? not intentionally, or maybe it was the result of one hell of a slag experiment/exposure to the other dimension/eridian tech, but we’ve seen what slag/exposure to eridian stuff does to humans… makes them go crazy, makes them start mutating. i mean, look at badass psychos. look at goliaths.
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i mean shit even think about bloodwing. she goes wild, attacking the VHs and not listening to mordecai’s instructions despite their bond
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she grows to a huge size and gains a whole shitload of new powers she didn’t have before. including fucking fire breath (which we’ve seen in burning psychos)
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you know these dudes
i go into all this eridium/slag mutation stuff in SO much more detail in this post here, so if you’re interested in mutations, read this!
so what if the destroyer is just one HELL of a mutated eridian/alien and it plus all the eridium was locked away forever in the other dimension to keep this from ever happening again? because god, i wouldn’t want that to ever happen again, either, and i guess locking away the eridium (you know the stuff used in all these hyperion experiments) would be their best bet at ensuring it. also maybe just… locking away anything with eridium for that long probably isn’t the best idea… maybe that’s why it’s all tentacles and death. maybe they just locked someone away in a Vault as a prison and then leaving them with all that eridium caused them to mutate wildly out of control. kinda like the FEV. 
i mean we know ‘slagged psychos’ look like this 
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i wouldn’t be surprised if we gave them enough slag/time they’d end up mutating even worse. and the destroyer was left in the vault for hundreds of years.
so wtf is the connection here with Sirens? there’s gotta be one, right??? is slag experimentation the first rung on the ladder of volatile science to achieving siren-hood? like you’d have slag/eridium experiments/mutations -> the lost legion eternal -> actual Sirens. maybe if sirens take in too much eridium they become something like the destroyer. now that’s fucked up to think about.
maybe it’s better the twins took lilith’s powers away from her…
oh, speaking of mutations and burning psychos and hyperion experiments, you know what we haven’t talked about yet?
Krieg. 
let’s talk a whole lot about Krieg, because he is super important
krieg is important for a lot of reasons.
u know what his teaser trailer was named?
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yeah i don’t think that’s coincidence one bit
ahhh Mayhem.
“deep beneath pandora, an experiment has escaped”
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we know krieg is a hyperion test subject, dr samuels confirms this (and apparently contracts insanity as well at the end of the Crawmerax DLC)
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also we know some other tests going on at the WEP from the quest Doctor’s Orders:
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“this vault key didn’t make eridium come outta the ground for nothing, right?”
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and there’s this one very very very interesting line by Tannis at the end of the quest:
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“the spread of slag poisoning” yeah call it that DUMB name tannis, im gonna call it what all the kool kids are calling it: ~Mayhem~
so… Krieg.
what’s so special about him?
well… he gives us insight into what the hell is actually going on inside the heads of some psychos.
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so idk about you guys but i always took this as a poke at Maya and Krieg, but i realize now that this is talking literally just about Krieg. it’s about his body holding both sides of himself.
krieg does appear to be like lucid behind the psycho controlling his body, which, idk about you guys, but for me that plants some pretty horrible mental images of all the psychos in-game who probably have similarly exasperated people behind them who are getting murdered because they can’t control themselves anymore.
and idk i wrote this whole post about how maybe the slag experimentation is turning people into hosts for the destroyer’s consciousness and that could explain all the wacked up psychos and shit. but tbh im not gonna talk about that today
just about slag experimentation/eridium exposure. we know what it ACTUALLY does and that’s mutate the hell out of things and cause insanity.
Krieg is like… the poster child for slag experimentation/eridium exposure
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soooo why does slag experimentation make people go insane? could be any number of reasons, but tbh i would bet it has to do with that other dimension somehow. because eridium isn’t a normal ‘our dimension’ element. it came out of a vault. from a different dimension. and who knows the long-term effects of that shit.
i personally had a theory that the 4th dimension had something to do with time and that only Sirens are able to harness this power, but then i have no idea how to explain angel and amara’s powers through that lense, so eh. fuck it. just seeing an upper dimension would make you go crazy anyway, so let’s not bring any time shit into this because that’s just asking for trouble. 
either way
i think that sirens are able to make sense of that other dimension. they have some sort of command of it/some sort of tie to it that allows them to not go crazy the instant they interact with it, unlike psychos. unlike lab rats. unlike Krieg. it’s like… eridium is our window into this other dimension or some shit and Sirens are (literally) able to process it, while it just fucks over anyone else who tries to interact. ~kachow i just introduced parallels~
and tbh i think we’re going to use Sirens to help cure this plague of insanity going around the universe. probably starting with Krieg. i mean, the only time he’s able to get even an iota of control is when he sees Maya. “Turn around pretty lady!!” like… that’s HUGE for him. and Maya’s a Siren. im not saying the power of love isn’t strong… but maybe the power of Sirens is stronger. i’d love if tannis helped us out with that. maya, too, if she really did learn more about sirens on athenas. 
this all ties into borderlands 3 for 2 reasons:
1. Mayhem being both the tagline for this game and Krieg the Psycho’s DLC pack is not a coincidence
2. The calypso twins are going to be using slag to both brainwash people into becoming cultists and give them special powers
`breaks fingers` this is the real meat of this theory, all that other stuff was just getting you READY for this
let’s put the Mayhem stuff off to the side for a second and just focus on the Calypso twins.
We know they’re promising their cultists special powers and free brainwashes (lol)
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we’ve seen that one concept art from the museum of mayhem with the giant slag pool
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we know enemies are STILL dropping refined Eridium even though it seems like all manufacturers have stopped creating slag weaponry
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and we’ve seen the slag falls in a bl3 promo material already
oh yes
okay so i said right at the very beginning of this document that i’ve seen A Scene that i wanna talk about and oh baby this is it
This Scene right here
look in the very back there
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look familiar???
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~it shooouuuuullld~
yeah this is it!!!
so what i think is going down: anyone who’s not already insane is sorta ‘baptized’ as their entrance into this cult in the big ol slagfall. maybe the twins have a way to induce slagged cultists so they can have elemental affinities. not sure about that.
regardless
the twins are using slag to drive people insane (turning them into psychos) as a form of brainwashing to force people to join their cult.
so that’s the special powers and the free brainwashing and the slagfalls down.
let’s talk about why exactly we’re seeing enemies drop bars of refined eridium even though hyperion stopped making them. because the twins are making it!! it makes sense why there’s no slag guns still, even if it still exists in-universe: of course no manufacturer is going to contact an insane bandit cult just to get their hands on slag for their guns. 
there was a 7 year dry spell of eridium production so there was no slag to go around, so companies started phasing it out of their guns and replacing it with nuclear. 
but the twins have recently started production again. they’re obviously not using it in their guns, or selling it to other manufacturers. so wtf are they using it for? it’s gotta be important, it’s holy holy holy.
special powers and brainwashing!
and the refined eridium is back in circulation, so enemies are still dropping it. see? solution acquired.
as for psycho-ness spreading across the universe? it makes sense. not only are the twins using their slag to brainwash people and turn them into psycho cultists, but people are also being mutated by the eridian ruins/vault keys/vaults on the other planets and being driven insane. This craziness is quite literally Mayhem.
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Mayhem is coming, indeed! 
now let us talk about what the fucccck gearbox is doing with all that Mayhem stuff in the trailers and shit.
sooo WE are the cult surrounding this game. as the fan base. 
do u think it was coincidence that they made ‘ECHOnet’ Streamers the leaders of their big bad cult and then also immediately introduced, in real life, the Twitch ECHOcast extension and invited a bunch of streamers to play their demo? they knew exactly what they were doing. Giving away a free cultist psycho mask to everyone who preorders a console copy of the game? that’s intentional. everyone who preorders the game gets a ‘gold weapon skin pack’? yeah! you know what gold weapons represent in-universe? higher standing in the cult!! gearbox is making commentary on how we are all just like the cultists!
AND THEY ARE TOTALLY RIGHT
all the trailers having something to do with Mayhem? ‘Mask of Mayhem’ ‘Mural of Mayhem’ ‘We are Mayhem’ ‘Mayhem is coming’. We’re all insane cultists because we’re all absolutely fucking rabid for this game and they KNOW IT.
oh also we’re all in love with each other lmao. 
in all seriousness, i think the game is going to focus a lot on the relationships we have with the people we care about- our found family, our romantic interests, our friendships- and that’s being expressed through the roses. 
i think that’s why all the characters are shown in the roses on the cover art. why the roses are so prominent in the So Happy Together trailer. why Zane is sitting at a bar with a rose between himself and his clone (as a joke, but still, it’s the intent). 
red roses are, like, the most obvious way to show your affection to someone. and we know the bl3 Vault Hunters are going to find family in each other in this game. that we’re going to watch the calypso twins’ relationship become warped as the game goes on. hell, we’re probably even going to have a whole plot about tina and mordy (and talon) and brick being a small family together, and maya and ava being one as well. plus ellie and vaughn have gotten together since commander lilith. shit, guys, even claptrap is building himself a girlfriend.
this game’s about love, guys.
anyway i have been working on this since 1:30am. it’s currently 6:06am. i am very tired and very wired and those never mesh well. im gonna go eat some motherfuckin pizza.
edit: i missed the obvious connection the first time around: of course we’re going to cure Krieg, he loves Maya. and this game is all about love.
that and/or one or both of them die and gearbox hurts us right in the softest parts of our hearts.
edit 2: also yeah at some point in the near future im writing that Hyperion-Twins theory because as much as i love Atlas, i have ~seen some things~
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Note
Scenarios in which the Organization Members and their S/O had this argument and they think that their S/O are pissed af with them bc of that, decided to leave them, and decides to get drunk.
How fitting that this one came after the drunk Org member ask o:
Xemnas
Xemnas is interesting because he doesn’t yell or anything like that
And you’re too upset to notice how his voice keeps getting colder and more emotionless
“Maybe it’s time to end this, then.”
He looks perfectly composed when he says it, though it stops you dead in your tracks
Then he opens the door and motions for you to leave. “I will have the Dusks bring your things to you tomorrow.”
Xemnas is still not really used to emotions
For a bit, he just stares out of the window
Then he has the Dusks bring him some of his favorite alcohol
And then some more
And then some more
And then some more…
The Dusks also take away the empty bottles, so it’s unclear how much he drank
He does figure out that he misses you, but he won’t try to get you back unless you talk to him first
Xigbar
Welp. This sucks.
It’s not the first time he’s fought with an S/O. And it’s not the first really bad argument either
But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt
Especially since, while he has had relationships at times, he mostly tried to stay away from that kind of stuff. It’s rare for him to trust another person this much.
He’d been thinking about telling you his biggest secret, but well, now he’s glad he didn’t. And decides to end it before he gets tempted again.
Once that decision is made, Xigbar just wants to numb everything for a bit
While he could just use his powers to steal some booze, he actually teleports to a bar in a far-off world and drinks it there
And it’s pretty obvious that his plan isn’t to have a nice time or enjoy the taste or whatever; his plan is to get absolutely drunk
While he has a low tolerance, even drunk he’s very good at knowing how much more he can take before blacking out
And when he’s almost there, he just leaves, the drink he last ordered still in hand
(What are the owners and barkeeps gonna do? The chances of Xiggy ending up in that exact place of that exact world again are ridiculously slim. If the police even believe them when they say a dude teleported away without paying)
He ends up in a very remote place in some world, far away from anyone else
He doesn’t even know which world it is. Just that it’s a wide open field under the stars
He passes out there, and comes back to the castle sometime between noon the next day and evening the day after
Afterwards, he avoids you, but is kind of lowkey about it; he even tries joking around like he does with everyone, but if you pay attention, you can notice that something is different about his jokes when you’re around
Xaldin
He knew he shouldn’t have given in
He’d promised himself he would never allow “love”, and he broke that promise
And now he has to pay the price, it seems
The argument may have been dumb, but it happened, voices were raised, and a lot of bad words were said
Xaldin had compared you to his ex, for example; not exactly the best thing to do
It had taken far less to make his last relationship break apart, so he assumes the same will happen again
He ends up calling Lexaeus in the middle of the night; by the time Lex gets to him, Xaldin is fast asleep
Lexaeus brings him back to the Castle and drops him off in his bed
The next day, Xaldin basically treats you exactly how he did before you became a couple in the first place; he assumes it’s over, after all
If you ask him to talk, he’s seriously surprised because he didn’t expect there to be anything left to talk about, but he’s open to doing so
Vexen
It started out as a normal argument - something completely insignificant
But somehow this time, instead of resolving it like you two normally do, you both got defensive about it and it kept spiralling into a full-blown fight
You start listing everything that sometimes bothers you about Vexen, who retorts with whatever annoys him about you, and so on
In the end, he tells you that if he’s that terrible, maybe you should just leave him
You shoot back that yeah, maybe you should, and leave to calm down
Vexen is stunned for a bit before he leaves as well
He doesn’t drink much, normally, but oh well. Today’s special.
He just drinks in his room, and doesn’t go for blackout drunk
One might think he’s almost responsible(ish) about it… But then he figures he should definitely go do some experiments
He’s trying to distract himself from you and especially the argument, and the one thing that’s easiest to use for that purpose is science. It’s completely logical.
It… Does not go well
While he doesn’t blow up the entire castle, he does mess up several long-time experiments and breaks a few things
He might’ve done more damage, but one of the other apprentices notices the weird noises and gets him out of there and back into his room
Lexaeus
He’s usually very calm, even the few times you might’ve fought before
This is the first time you’ve heard him raise his voice, and it’s terrifying
He feels bad immediately afterwards, especially when you flinch away at first
So instead, he turns around and leaves without another word
A few of the people from Radiant Garden ended up in Traverse Town, including the owner of his favorite pub; they reopened in Traverse, and that’s where Lex is headed now
He’s very very quiet for a while
Only when he had a lot to drink does he start talking to the other customers, mostly about you and that he regrets yelling
He stays until the bar closes, then staggers back to the Castle
The next day, he tries to apologize to you, for the fight, the yelling and for just leaving
Zexion
He rarely yells when he gets angry; most times, he just gets snarkier
So he doesn’t really get loud at all during the argument; at some point, he just says that maybe the whole thing was a waste of time
And then he leaves
He doesn’t even know where he plans to go. Pretty much just wants to blow off some steam
So he teleports to another world, just so happens to land in a city, and walks around
And, well, he ends up right in front of a bar, and figures “might as well”
He never got drunk as a Somebody, obviously; he mainly heard about the whole “get drunk to drown sad feelings” thing from books
It’s not really a conscious decision, but at first, he totally mimics the way it’s usually described, with the character in question sitting at the bar, brooding, not talking much
But, well, then he actually ends up drunk. And just starts talking - About you, the fight, maybe some asides about other stuff
He can still walk when he goes back to the castle, but barely. Once there, he pretty much just falls down in his bed and falls asleep
He doesn’t remember much once he wakes up, at least not the part when he actually ended up very talkative
He won’t talk to you afterwards any more than necessary, and will be very snarky when he does
If you want to mend your relationship, you’ll need to make the first step - He will listen, at least, and is willing to talk to you if you start
Saix
Arguing with Saix is… weird
He’s really calm, usually, but it always feels like there’s anger bubbling just below the surface
And in this fight, this anger finally comes to the front, causing a lot of yelling
It’s kind of scarier than Lex yelling; Lex’ case was one short outburst, but it never really felt like he wasn’t in control
Saix feels like he might snap
You end up backing away from him; it takes him a bit to notice, but once he does, that seems to snap him back into reality
He just stands there and stares at you for a bit, as if he’s trying to figure out what exactly was going on
He then gets very cold
“Maybe this is a sign we should stop this farce.”
After all, he has no Heart. What could this whole relationship have been but a farce? He refuses to acknowledge that he’s hurt at all, and just turns around and leaves
He just picks a place with a nice view of the stars to drink
For a change, he doesn’t feel talkative at all, even when someone walks past. He just sits there and stares at the stars.
Afterwards, Saix treats you like the whole relationship never happened, though it seems like he’s a bit colder with you than with the others - But he’s cold to everyone, so that’s hard to figure out
If you try to talk to him about it, he blows you off
Axel
For a dude so sure he has no emotions, Axel is a pretty emotional guy
Your arguments usually don’t involve yelling though. Usually.
“All right, if that’s how you really think, then how about we just split?!”
He gives you only a second or two to answer before he turns around and teleports away
He gets himself some booze, then returns to his room
While drinking, he tries to blow of some steam, taking any frustrations out on his furniture
It’s very lucky he can’t control his fire once he gets drunk, or else the Castle wouldn’t be standing anymore
(His bedsheets and parts of the walls are a little singed though)
He calms down once pretty much nothing is in its place anymore, and decides that he doesn’t really want to end things with you
So he writes you a letter (yes, you can tell it was written while he was drunk) and slips it under your door
Next day, his memories are kind of hazy, though he does know that he wrote you something
If you don’t ring it up, he asks you about it. While he had the thought when drunk, he really doesn’t want your relationship to end, so if you’re up for giving it another try, he’s down
Demyx
The argument starts harmless enough, but ends up getting worse and worse
Both of you end up crying at some point
“Fine, then let’s just end it!”
You’re both stunned after he says it
Then he opens up a dark portal right where he stands and disappears in it
He ends up in a supermarket, and spontaneously decides to buy booze and get drunk
Demyx doesn’t pick any specific place, he drinks while strolling through the city he ended up in
He kind of regrets what he said to be honest
And the drunker he gets, the more determined he gets to try and win you back
Which ends with a very drunk Demyx trying to serenade you from outside your door
Think of his sitar skills what you will, but when he’s drunk, they’re far worse
If you tell him to leave, he will, though he’ll be heartbroken
If you open the door, though, he’ll give you a big hug, and then promptly pass out
Luxord
Luxord doesn’t yell; you can tell that it’s serious when his voice stops sounding even slightly amused
He does sound angry eventually, but he barely raises his voice. He does sound slightly sarcastic though
“Perhaps it would be best if we went our separate ways if I bother you this much.”
Then he very calmly leaves
He goes to a nice pub to drink; he might’ve even been there before once or twice after a mission
He doesn’t talk much while drinking, mostly just thinks
And he manages to not get into any weird hijinks while he’s drunk, and instead just ends up returning to the Castle late at night
The next day, he actually approaches you and asks if you want to talk things over, now that (hopefully) you’ve both had time to calm down
If you say no, he takes his loss. You can’t always win, after all
Marluxia
Marluxia is usually rather calm, but… not during this fight
In the end, he yells at you that maybe you two should end it, then he leaves
Once he’s alone, he kinda… deflates, his anger mostly gone
He ends up grabbing some booze and going to his garden alone
No one sees him until at least noon the next day; he comes back with some dirt, grass and twigs still stuck in his hair
(Not that many people see him like that; he immediately goes to his room to take a shower at least)
A little while later, you find a bouquet with purple hyacinth and pink roses in your room, alongside a card containing a time and place, most likely his garden
If you decide to go, he’s waiting there for you, ready to apologize
Larxene
She’s got a hot temper, so this is far from the first fight you have
Usually, both of you calm down again shortly afterwards; Larxene just has to get her anger out, then be left alone for a while before she comes back to your side
But this time… This time was different. Far worse than any other fight
And honestly, considering how often she’s lost her temper before, who could blame you for not wanting her back this time?
She leaves the castle without telling anyone and steals a lot of booze somewhere
Some poor idiot had the dumb idea to bother her while she was drinking; even drunk, she easily won that fight with only a few scrapes and bruises
Marluxia brings her back the next morning
He doesn’t tell anyone where or how he found her, and she’s fast asleep when he does
The time after, she just avoids you unless you start talking to her
Roxas
He doesn’t have much of a concept of many things, so the relationship is kind of strange for him in general
And it’s not like the others, even Axel, are much help; not with the whole “Nope no feelings” stuff (and Axel’s tips are just… Not too helpful)
Roxas ends up saying that maybe you should’ve never started this
Since he’s never really heard of the whole “getting drunk after a breakup” thing, that’s not where his mind goes
Instead, he just grabs some ice cream and sits on the clock tower
Axel joins him after a while, and a bit later, so does Xion
Axel asks Roxas what happened, and listens while he talks, but doesn’t really have any tips
(Have y’all played Days? None of these three idiots know how to just talk to each other I swear)
The next time he sees you, Roxas looks like he wants to say something to you, but doesn’t
If you start a conversation, though, you two might be able to talk it all out
Xion
Similar to Roxas, the whole relationship thing is kind of new to her
(Though she at least has better ressources for tips than just “ask Axel”)
So like, theoretically, she knows that fights happen and stuff
But she’s never really experienced a fight like this, and isn’t sure if this is one of the types that you can talk out, or if it’s too bad for that
She’s weirdly calm when she says that maybe it’d be better to end; of course she’s upset and angry, but also confused and just trying to make sense of it
Like Roxas, she doesn’t really know the concept of getting drunk to numb feelings etc
So she just teleports to the beach. She doesn’t really think about it, it’s more of a subconscious decision; the sound of waves calms her down
She just sits there and watched the ocean for a while, then starts collecting seashells
A few days later, you find a shell and a note saying “I’m sorry” in your room
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