#periyaambi

[rambalaings]

R2 - Paternal Grandfather Remembered - Part II

This is a post I wrote on my old Blogger site more than 15 years ago, I have reprinted the text faithfully only making minor edits to preserve the purity of the memory from back then.

PAST PONDER

Background It has been almost 40 years since my Paternal Grandfather left for the heavens on August 13th, 1983. I was still very young and this was the first personal tragedy that I have experienced in my life. Although it feels sad that I could not spend more time with this man, who I was named after, the silver lining on the clouds through which he must be watching me, is that I got to spend 6 years with him, during most of which, I was still a toddler. Lots of what I have described are rather blurred images from my brain and I will back it up with what I have heard from my family members over the years after his departure. This post will exercise my memory more than most others and is dedicated to my Thatha (Grandpa).

The Story So Far…

I had written about my thatha’s humble beginnings, his parents, his wedding, and his troubles soon after. Please read the first post in the series, to recharge or load your memory with mine. Here, grab this pensieve, but I am no witch and this is no magic, just memories!

Dehu Road to Delhi… My paati and her children were stuck in Dehu Road indefinitely since there was no communication from thatha. Thatha’s sister and brother-in-law, albeit in a good position, were not necessarily the most hospitable hosts. They were quite unkind to these three and I am told that my paati, still a young girl, who was loved by an auditor, while she was quite happily spending her teenage with her family, found herself in very difficult circumstances. She had to walk several miles to get ration arisi (rationed rice), wash clothes, clean the house, etc. She would have to undergo that torture for 4-5 months before they would hear from thatha. This in my opinion, was the lowest point for my grandpa. His young family had to endure the consequences of a mistake that he had committed and they certainly did not deserve this.

Finally, it seemed as if their testing times were over! My grandpa called his family to Delhi, where he had taken up a decent job. But since he was still new to the job, he could not get time off to go in person to escort them to their new home in Rajghat, yes, near the Gandhi samadhi. The young lady and her two kids set off to Delhi in a train from Dehu Road, perhaps to the relief of their not-so-dear relatives. Hearing about these things still makes me wonder how my Paati is still in talking terms with these people to this day! Perhaps that is the magic of wisdom, that I might still lack.

They arrived in Delhi Station, some 24 hours later, and flagged a cabbie and innocently showed him the address of where they wanted to go to. The sardar taxi driver was nothing like the smiling and sincere ones we see in New York city these days. He was intent on making his bucks, so he took them on an unsolicited tour of Delhi city for what seemed to be ages! My paati took to some brave heroine-ic steps to get them out of there. I do not want to steal the thunder of this post from my grandpa by going into those “steps”. I will post those in a separate post at Past Ponder. Delhi se gaye to Bambai… phir bhi na gaya prachanai…

Reportedly, happiness did not come without a bout of gloom for them in those days. My thatha and paati had another girl, my younger aunt. The elder kids were going to a modest school in Saraswathi Vidyalaya in Chembur, near the present day Chembur bridge. Soon, two of my thatha’s sisters came to stay with them, since they had no one else to turn to. My thatha’s brother was also staying with them. It was a large family under one roof. But thatha stood strong like a rock and supported everyone, with some good assistance from his brother. But soon, his brother got married and moved on to Madras. They underwent a lot of financial difficulties, sometimes to the extent of not being able to pay my dad’s fees, unable to afford good clothes or school uniform, like you see in many movies.

Entering Vrindavan… Bombay soon became the city that thatha and paati began loving. They also got some of their best friends here. They remain in touch until today. R.C.K and his wife Sushila were really notable and so were Ramamurthi Mama & Mami. Sometimes, it is tough to imagine what life would have been, but for these people. Ramamurthi Mama, who was in Income Tax, was a very influencial person. He managed to secure a loan for thatha to be able to buy a decent apartment in Tilak Road, the place I would first call home when I set foot into this world! I owe it to an extent to Ramamurthi Mama!

In 1961, the construction on the three floor apartment building, Vrindavan in Ghatkopar would be completed and ours was the watch tower flat on the third floor. Sure enough, R.C.K also bought an apartment on the same building and same floor, though in a different wing, connected by the terrace upstairs. I am sure it must have been the biggest moment of their lives in those times. Here is where several important events in our history would take place and our family would live in that flat for exactly 30 years!

The Golden Era… My thatha began to grow steadily in a respectable position at Godrej. He and his colleague friend, R.C.K, would also have a lot of fun at Vrindavan with their families and descendants. Their social lives would bloom and the kids would always have dear friends to play with. They shared a lot in common, including their interests, hobbies, etc. The least of things I would like to mention as a common thing between them is their appetite for tobacco. My thatha used to consume a lot of thambakoo paan; this unfortunately carried on to my dad, of course not genetically, but just coincidentally. My dad has far surpassed his father on tobacco consumption and this is something I am really disgusted with. Appa, you reading???

Life started getting better, the number on the Class column on kids’ notebooks would keep increasing. Thatha could now afford to send the youngest offspring to a famed school, Fathima, which until today remains one of the best schools in Greater Bombay. He must have been very proud of his growth and achievement, while feeling a tinge of disappointment that he could not do the same for his elder kids. However, I am very sure that the elder kids are not complaining. He did all that he could to get them great education at the college level. My dad went on to do an M.Com and LLb, while my aunt was content with her B.A, after which she vowed that she was done studying. The younger aunt went on to do a B.Com as well.

Soon, my dad started work at Godrej as a junior typist. It was a position that my thatha was heavily influential in starting him with. But understandably, he wished that my dad could get better things. This did not take too long and my father joined as a junior clerk in the Union Bank of India, at Muhammed Ali Road, Masjid Bunder. This was in the hub of Bombay and the buzz of activity. My dad would keep taunting thatha playfully, that he worked in the New York of Bombay, whereas thatha went to a remote town in Iowa, to Godrej at Vikhroli. Soon, my aunt also started at Godrej, after completing her B.A.

One after another, there were reasons to celebrate in the family. Whether it was the day when Bharath television arrived, or it was the time when the Godrej refrigerator came in. But to my thatha, the biggest pleasure must have been when the large Grundig gramaphone arrived. He was a great connoisseur of music, which was not necessarily appreciated by my paati. He loved music from Balamuralikrishna, T.M.S, M.S.Subbalakshmi and devotional songs like Alai Payudhey (old one), Kurai Onrum Illai, etc. To this day, my paati will get tears in her eyes if you sing one of those songs. He also used to be a good singer of these songs. This is surely something that has not been genetically carried over to me; I am a disaster when it comes to singing! Kids no longer… Bring on the Wedding Bells!

In 1975, when my thatha was 48, he decided that it was time to get his elder daughter married to relieve some of his responsibilities. My dad, who had wanted to go on to do his Chartered accountancy, had to go to work since although, the family was doing better than before, it could do with more help. So, my dad took on an assist role to add a few hundred rupees per month into the home pool. Thatha also began doing some part time work over the weekends with a private auditor, Shetty. This was a crucial step for me and one of the main reasons I got to spend even more time with my thatha, as I was to find out much later!

My aunt got married to a Science graduate, who hailed from Kandhivili, working for Goodlass Nerolac Paints. His family was an endearing one, especially his mom, Dadi as I remember her was very sociable and personable. More about her in another post. In 1976, a year after my elder aunt’s wedding, thatha thought it was appropriate to get his son settled down in life, since his other daughter was way off in terms of age, she was just entering college and surely she had aspirations of working for a while independently.

Thatha and Paati with assistance from my elder aunt, filtered through the eligible alliances and then they landed up at my mom’s place in Sion. My maternal grandfather, also one of my most revered persons, had made sure to do all the necessary background checks about this family and he was convinced about the authenticity. A battalion of more than 10 people landed up at my mother’s residence in Sion for the “ponnu paakara” ceremony. My mom would still keep complaining that, if there were so many people (men) that came, how would she ever know who the groom was?? My dad at that time was still a young and puny lad of 25. So, there was no easy way to find out who the groom was. My mother initially thought that my athimber (aunt’s hubby) was the groom! After all the singing and talking, my father was still undecided although he did like the girl. The groom side did not respond for days together and the pulse was speeding up on the bride side.

I was told that my paati was looking at other candidates without my thatha’s knowledge under the pretext of “thinking for a while”. Thatha got furious at this and picked up the phone, without asking anyone and told my maternal grandfather that he had really picked his daughter-in-law in his daugther. Thus my parents were united on March 3rd 1976 in a marital bond.

Thatha becomes a Grand Parent but suffers a stroke!! Pretty soon after that, my thatha who would have already been overjoyed by two weddings in the family, would have another great reason to rejoice. His first grandchild was born on April 11th 1976, which was my elder cousin. He was overjoyed and held aloft the newest member of his progeny, a mottai yet extremely fair kid. Thatha, who through his middle ages had become somewhat proficient in reading horoscopes, predicted great things for this guy. He said his grandson would be brilliant and would have a lot of opportunities to grow in life. If he took the right decisions, he would become world famous. He was definitely right to a large extent, looking back.

I think the turn of events were too swift and too much for my thatha’s heart to take. It decided to take a moment to go offbeat, but this impacted my thatha in the form of a heart attack in early 1977. This was his first sign of a weak heart as the cardiogram revealed and although there would be much to rejoice in the years to come, his heart would never be the same…..

I have to pause here….

To be concluded……

[rambalaings]

R1 - Paternal Grandfather remembered - Part 1

This is a post that I wrote years ago, back in 2005!.. I am bringing it into this blog to keep everything in one place. Some of the content has been edited but the writing integrity preserved

PAST PONDER

Background It has been almost 40 years since my Paternal Grandfather left for the heavens on August 13th 1983. I was still very young and this was the first personal tragedy that I have experienced in my life. Although it feels sad that I could not spend more time with this man, who I was named after, the silver lining on the clouds through which he must be watching me, is that I got to spend 6 years with him, during most of which, I was still a toddler. Lots of what I have described are rather blurred images from my brain and I will back it up with what I have heard from my family members over the years after his departure. 

This post will exercise my memory more than most others and is dedicated to my Thatha (Grandpa).

What I know of the Man My thatha was born and raised in a small village in Tirunelveli, called Ravanasamudram, which happens to be our native place. He was a bright man and extremely sharp (of course my paati will blush whenever she says this, to date!). He was born into a large family, as was typical in his times. He was the third of seven children, 5 of them girls!

His father, my great grandfather, Parasuraman Iyer was a famous man himself in this village, but his wife, Meenamba was a legend! I experienced this first hand, when I went to my native place, where people identified me as the great grandson of Meenamba! I was told that, among other things, right after hearing the sound of an arriving train, she would match it by the whistles of her cooker in the kitchen and cook for a whole village. She would feed the rich and the poor, irrespective of their caste or creed. In short, she was a really generous and secular person, who would go out of her way to help people out without any expectations. She died at pretty young age peacefully. Looks like the Gods themselves could not wait to have her company and to taste her delicious food. I do not know much about my great grandfather, but from what I have heard, he was a strict disciplinarian, having been born in a Vadhyaar family (his father was Kittu Vadhyaar). He was shorter than my great grandmom, he outlived her, but not by too much. He was staying with my thatha and paati for a while before his demise as a middle aged man.

Surely in the days to come, my thatha would prove that it was in his genes to help. His mother has obviously imparted so much wisdom on spirituality and charity, that he would follow suit. He was fondly known as Periya Ambi, it was common in those days for the eldest of the sons. He completed high school and went to college in Palayamkottai during the pre-Independence days and was one of the bright stars among his siblings. No, there is no freedom fighter history to report, he was a normal person who wished for Indian independence and cherished it when it came.

He climbed up very well in his career and became an auditor in Dindigul district. That is where he met my Paati, when he was having lunch at a hotel owned by the latter’s family. She tells me that it was love at first sight! The cupid struck while she was serving the sambar. It is very funny the way she narrates it and still thinks that she, with a short hairdo, “the Bagavathar cut” , was way too much for my thatha, who she describes was not the most handsome of men around, especially since he still had a lot of scars from the small pox that he survived a few years ago. But surely, he was one of the most successful, yet my paati was a little reluctant about the whole thing. Anyways, this is no suspense Bollywood movie, since I am watching a flashback, and I already know that they were united together in a wedlock very soon!

In the years to come, their marriage was a total mixed bag, it had its high points and of course several lows. They had two kids almost back to back, a guy, my dad, and a girl, my aunt. My great grandfather lived with them for a while before he met his end and my paati’s sister was assisting her take care of the kids. My thatha really took good care of all of them whilst they were all in Dindigul. My thatha was keen on expanding his career and hence took up a job with the Standard Chartered Bank, where he was in charge of the accounts. Her is where he took his philantrophic nature a bit too far. He took some money out of the bank treasury to help out a good friend, who promised to return the money before anyone who cared for it, missed it. My thatha having seen only good people in his life, starting from his mom, trusted him with the money. Now, it may seem like a Bollywood movie or a Gokulam magazine story, but this guy cheated my thatha.

This led to severe and serious circumstances. He lost his job in the bank and the police were on the lookout for him. He found no alternative but to flee, since if he was caught, there is no way his family would survive! He took his family, which comprised of two small kids and a young wife and left them at his elder sister’s place at Dehu Road, near Pune and without waiting for too long, he rushed off into hiding. The little kids and the wife had no alternative but to pray and hope that their chief will return soon to take them back home. Well… I am beginning to realize that perhaps this post can go on for a while.. so I am going to take a break to scratch my head a little bit more before I continue writing…