#personal cappuccino machine

[the-night-that-feeds-if]

My birthday is coming up this month, and my fiance is gonna get me a tart

T A R T

I can't have one with kiwi tho cos I'm allergic, I love kiwi, but damn that stuff is spicy

[heavenbarnes]

I know you talked about meeting older bf!Simon in the alternate universe but can you please tell us how we met normal universe Simon?

oh 🥹 course i can write a little meet cute (i have oc you a little bit but that’s ok i think)

the first time you ever meet your older bf!simon, you’re actually at work.

your boss tells you and the rest of your coworkers (very late notice, might you add) that your dinky little cafe is taking part in a government run initiative-

“service for service men”

the collective hum of confusement doesn’t skip you and you’re even more confused when he tells you that different businesses are opening their doors to service men (and women technically) to allow them to integrate with their community.

you don’t want to outright say it seems performative but, it definitely seems performative.

nevertheless, you get your apron on and wait for them to arrive. you’ve already resigned yourself to the fact that, knowing your luck, you’re going to get some morally-grey weirdo.

instead you get-

“simon riley, uh- ghost”

your boss reads it from his clipboard as the man in question appears before you like an apparition. with a skull gator mask covering the lower half of his face.

ok.

you do your best to smile and give him your name when you learn quickly that this guy is a man of few words, but many grunts.

“do you prefer simon or ghost?”

he eyes you in his peripheral as you move behind the counter towards your coffee machine. he doesn’t answer and you know it’ll be a long day.

“alright, i’m picking simon”

and he doesn’t argue so you take it as a win.

you bring him to the coffee machine and explain the bare basics, you’re also hyper aware that in a few days- he’s going to go back to handling guns and never make another cappuccino in his life so you don’t go too crazy.

but he does have to make his own coffee.

“and then you would bring the milk jug to this spout and the steam froths it”

his eyes are blank, unreadable- but jesus christ can he hold a stare. you get this unshakable sense that he does not give a fuck and, honestly, you can’t blame him.

but it is your job.

“do you want to give it a go?”

his eyes flicker to the machine for a second before they’re back on yours, expecting more silent treatment you nearly jump when he speaks.

“what if i fuck it up?”

your eyebrows crinkle just a little. what? it’s a coffee machine? this man’s probably performed manoeuvres the average person didn’t know existed.

and he’s scared of a coffee machine?

you almost want to snort a little laugh but a voice in your head tells you better not. instead you step a little closer to him.

“you won’t, i won’t let you”

and he catches you in his peripheral again, ever so slightly inching closer to you. he surprises you again by speaking up.

“will y’tell me what t’do?”

“if that’s what you’d like, course i will”

and that’s what you do. massive hands dwarf the milk jug as he cradles it so not to scald the milk but moves it with a dexterity you can only admire.

“and pull it off like- that, that’s perfect”

he looks at the milk before he looks at you, almost like he’s studying your expression.

“y’sure?”

“yes- you did a good job, simon”

he turns his head before you can get a good look at his expression. as he’s pouring the milk into the mug like you’d instructed, you very nearly missed what he said.

“i prefer simon”

craning your neck so you can better see his face, you question it with a quiet hum.

“i prefer y’calling me simon- i didn’t want y’to call me ghost”

oh.

“glad i picked well then”

he doesn’t respond to that but you figure he’s not the type you push. his coffee rests on the bench before him and he’s looking at it like he wants to try.

then he’s looking around at all the people filling the small cafe and his knuckles nudge at the edge of his mask.

oh.

you don’t know how you do it but you put two and two together quite quickly. eyes darting to the door behind you, you’re telling him to follow you.

he ends up, coffee in hand, in the small break room at the back. just a table and a couple chairs with a zip boiler on the wall.

you offer him a chair as you awkwardly hover by the door. “so you can enjoy your creation”

he takes a seat and then looks at you expectantly, before nodding his head towards the other chair.

you sit, do what you’re told- and all of a sudden he’s checking his six once before he pulls the mask down.

it takes your breath away a little bit.

honestly? truthfully? he just looks like a man.

but to you? a part of you is worried that you might spend the rest of your life thinking about him.

like you might be old and grey one day without a thought left to your name but he’ll be the last thing to leave your mind.

he doesn’t break that hardline stare with you as he takes a sip. he really didn’t have to groan quietly as he did it, but he did.

you think he watches you fidget. you think you like it. you think he does too.

at the end of the day, your coworkers are complaining as you all get your bags and close up shop for the day.

“i hope they all got something out of it cause i didn’t get a single bloody thing”

you snort in amusement, minding your business as you shrug your jacket on. as your hands burrow into your warm pockets you feel your fingers brush over the small slip of paper.

you could almost trace the pen stroked digits.

yeah, didn’t get a bloody thing.

[kateksmallcuteowl]

June 29: Single Parents/Uncles AU for an event by @bagginshieldweek24

I deeply regret that the challenge is a day late! Exams are merciless to me, and even though I started drawing in advance, I still couldn’t handle the deadline 😅 I promise to catch up with feedback tomorrow, after passing bioinformatics exam.

More headcanons and details under the cut>>

— It’s an alternative Middle-earth universe with hobbits, humans, dwarves, and elves, but set in modern times.

— Thorin grew up in Erebor in a royal family (which makes sense), is accustomed to good coffee, can distinguish different types, and knows which brewing devices are best. Now he has moved to London for work and discovered that both dwarf and human coffee shops would often use cheap beans or bad coffee machines, or they grind the beans incorrectly, or even set the wrong amount of grams of coffee per espresso shot. In general, they save money wherever they can, mostly selling the vibe and relying on the fact that taste isn’t important to most of the customers. Elves occupy the niche of coffee connoisseurs, but Thorin would rather drink filter coffee from a kettle on the roadside than go to elves. And then he discovers that hobbits, little hedonists, love good food and GOOD COFFEE! Of course, in hobbit cafes, he has to sit on low chairs and by the small tables, and at first, the other patrons looked at the dwarf in their company strangely, but it’s worth it. Thorin is willing to sit with a bent back if he gets a quiet and cozy atmosphere, excellent Wi-Fi, and delicious coffee (an office in London is good, but sometimes you need to get out of the four walls to not get nuts).

— Thorin rarely drinks pure espresso, preferring softer variations. He also has a sweet-tooth.

— Bilbo is a children’s book writer, mainly known for a series of fantasy novels about a brave hobbit who traveled over and under the mountains, rode in barrels, and played riddles in the dark (Bilbo, in canon, wrote his memoirs, which all hobbits except Merry and Frodo knew primarily for Hobbiton children, so I think he would primarily write for little hobbit kids).

— It’s not a real feather he uses, but a ballpoint pen with attached feathers, like those sold in souvenir shops. Bilbo bought it after a tour to the Tower of London. He likes the ✨vibe✨ and the fact that he can twirl the feather part around his lips when he’s thinking. (It’s literally an instruction on how to seduce Thorin)

— Mr. Baggins only drinks doppio. The cup is big compared to him because it’s hobbit ceramics, and the portion sizes for hobbits, who love treats, are no smaller than human ones.

— Bilbo has taken care of Frodo since his parents drowned in an accident. Frodo is about 8-9 years old here.

— I love the headcanon that hobbits’ ears react to their emotions, so the fact that Frodo doesn’t lower them when Bilbo scolds him is a good sign. Bilbo is a good uncle.

— Thorin and Bilbo have seen each other several times on Wednesdays. Usually, they don’t care about other patrons, but barista keept trying to serve a doppio to the stern scowling dwarf in black leather jacket, and a cappuccino with whipped cream to the little curly hobbit in a plaid sweater. They’ve had to swap their drinks several times.

— Thorin read Mr. Baggins’ books to his nephews in Erebor and quickly figured out who always sits at the table near the window in his favorite cafe. Thorin likes Bilbo’s books but doesn’t know if he’s married because he keeps his personal life private. Seeing Frodo, he immediately assumed he was Bilbo’s son, considering how the little hobbit looks at him.

— Bilbo immediately noticed the stern ( handsome) dwarf sitting with his eyes glued to his phone, but he always felt too awkward to speak with him. How do you even start a conversation with a stranger, especially from another race? So when Frodo, rather bluntly, commented on his appearance, of course, Bilbo was embarrassed. No, he absolutely agrees with Frodo. The exotic braids, unusual for short-haired hobbits, look amazing on the tall dwarf, and the iron clips highlight his blue eyes perfectly, but isn’t that a bit rude to point that out? Wouldn’t a dwarf decide that he is trying to mock his culture?

— Bilbo saw that while he was scolding Frodo, Thorin turned away and for some reason tugged angrily at his braid, so he decided to muster the courage and compliment him himself to ease the awkwardness and not seem rude (not at all because he would gladly say what Frodo did himself and not because Mr. Dwarf has much more attractive features he’d also like to make a comment on, not at all, what are you talking about, no-no-no).

— The dwarf didn’t seem offended at all.

— They started talking and found out that Thorin’s nephews love Bilbo’s books (Bilbo was flattered by this news. He’s still surprised when his books are read by anyone other than hobbits. (Gandalf didn’t tell him that his books are popular among all races. Mostly because for other races they play the role of kids books where main protagonist is a cute mice)).

— And in the end, as we see, they exchanged numbers 🌚🌝

— They will meet again, but without Frodo and not just for coffee.

— The end✨✨✨

I’m still experimenting with a flat-color style and lineart so I’ll be glad to know what do you think about it. Hope the comic was enjoyable!

[taesanluv3r]

latte art

kim leehan x reader

sort of love at first sight? barista!leehan improves his latte art just for his very first customer <3 those concept pics possessed me to write this hehe. super cutesy, i love u leehan! lowercase intended. pls excuse any spelling mistakes or grammatical errors! enjoyyyy

wc: 2,008

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖

ding!

the bell above the door rang as it squeaked opened, alerting the handsome barista that was busy setting up his fancy coffee machines for the opening of his tiny café. kim leehan looked up, eyes widening at the figure that turned around to reveal itself- or rather, herself. the most beautiful girl the boy had ever seen in his entire life that would become his very first customer.

"uh...? hello?"

he must've been too into his head, not realizing that the pretty lady had moved from near the door over to stand right in front of him at the register. "huh? oh! hi! um...what can i- uh" he didn't ever expect to stutter this way- especially not when he had already went through every friendly barista greeting the night before this grand opening, but the boy couldn't help it. not when the very first person to enter the shop was this stupidly gorgeous stranger in front of him.

leehan sighs, "i'm so sorry...today's the opening of this place and you're the first customer so..." she giggles, "no worries...i get it" they share a smile. "would you totally hate me if i asked you to walk out and back in again so we can restart this?" he asks, smiling until his eyes formed crescent shapes. the girl laughs, "if you insist"

the scene replays all over again. this time, he was ready to greet her with a friendly smile as she re-entered the café. "hi there! welcome to kim's coffee. what can i get for ya?" the stranger couldn't stop the giggle from escaping her lips, finding the cute barista's sudden bubbly-ness amusing. "hm..." she begins, fingers against her chin as she looked up at the menu on the wall. "well...uh, leehan..." the girl trails off, learning his name from the tag pinned onto his apron. "what do you recommend?"

the way his name fell out naturally from her mouth sent about a gazillion butterflies to roam free in his stomach, a light pink blush brushing against his pale cheeks. "well uh..." he almost stuttered again from the sudden shyness but quickly straightened his back and regained his almost cocky confidence. "for a pretty girl like you...how 'bout our signature cappuccino? i could do some incredible latte art too" she widens her eyes, shocked by the compliment. "incredible latte art you say? i'll be the judge of that" leehan grins at her playful personality. "iced or hot?" he asks, beginning to click on the buttons displayed on the screen of the register. "hot, please"

"alright...one hot cappuccino for...?"

"yn!" - "one hot cappuccino for yn coming right up!"

yn nods, watching as he retreated to his coffee machines before she allowed herself to explore the café. it was a relatively small place- but the pretty blue paint on the walls made the space feel a little bigger. "you must be really into fishes..." she says, staring at the framed paintings of all kinds of sea-life and spotting the tank filled with fish over at the corner near the bathroom. the barista guy laughs, "yeah...if i weren't a barista i'd be underwater scuba-diving right now" she nods along with his words, finally taking a seat on one of the chairs at the bar-styled table, giving her the clearest view of the working boy.

"so why open a café?'' she asked, revealing to the boy her curious personality. "it's fun!" he says, his voice a little louder now to overpower the buzzing noise from the milk frother. "and..." he said, mindlessly pouring the fluffy milk into the coffee. "there's a possibility i get to meet pretty girls like you" she rolls her eyes at his comment, watching as he adds finishing touches to the coffee.

"et voila, one cappuccino for yn~ enjoy"

the girl chuckles lightly when he dramatically bows, placing the cup of coffee on the table right in front of her. his head that faces the floor lifts up quickly when he hears her breaking out into a fit of laughter. leehan looks up confused, eyebrows furrowing and head tilting off to the side. "so much for incredible latte art..." yn says, still in between catching her breath. he's still confused, but one look down at his creation was enough to understand the girl's reaction.

"ah..." the boy sighs, looking disappointingly at the lame excuse for latte art he had poured into the cup. "i mean what were you going for here? a...an alien?!" the girl exclaimed, causing herself to giggle all over again. he rolls his eyes playfully, "i was actually going for a rose...but i see where you got alien from..." he clicks his tongue, "guess that's something i still need to work on" yn agrees with him, "but try it, as long as it tastes good..." he watches in anticipation as the girl brings the cup to her lips, blowing on the hot beverage slightly before taking a sip. her eyes widen, "oh my god..." leehan is nervous, "what? is it bad?" she shakes her head hastily. "no, no! not at all! this is the best cappuccino i've ever had ever! like seriously"

yn's comments make him sigh in relief, pressing a hand over his chest. "oh thank god...i thought you were gonna bully me like you did my latte art" she laughs, "it wasn't bullying...think of it as harsh feedback!" the sweet smile on her face contradicted the sharp words that she said, it intrigued the barista boy...there was something about her he just seemed to really like- apart from how pretty she was.

a couple minutes went by and soon the cup of coffee was empty. "thank you for the yummy coffee, how much do i owe you?" yn asks, rummaging through her purse in search of her wallet. leehan shook his head, "no! in honor of being my first customer, it's on me" she furrowed her eyebrows, "don't be silly! c'mon give me a price" but he only shook his head once more, "nope! think of it as compensation...for the underwhelming latte art" she sighs, giving up on arguing with the handsome barista. ''if you come again tomorrow though, i'll let you pay~" his smile made her insides melt like chocolate, and she sighs. "sounds good..." she trails off, beginning to get off the chair and closer to the exit. before she leaves she turns to look at him once more.

"better show me that incredible latte art you keep boasting about though!" he laughs, "trust me...i'll be up all night perfecting it...just for you"

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖

sure enough, the barista boy kept his word. the next morning rolled around and the boy begins to tiredly opened up his shop. slight dark circles evident under his eyes from the sleepless night he spent frothing milk at home and endlessly pouring them into cups of coffee. with a little more trial and error, and about a dozen more cappuccinos later, he finally perfected the art. the girl kept her promise as well, waking up bright and early so she could get dressed and head straight to the brand new coffee shop.

ding!

a feeling of deja vu washed over him at the familiar noise of the doorbell. "look who it is!" leehan cheered, clapping his hands together as the girl he was expecting entered the shop. yn smiled, "i expect you have perfected that latte art?" he nods, "well i promised you, didn't i?" she giggles, "ah yes...if i recall...just for me, right?" the girl teased, repeating the pretty words he had told her the other day. the boy blushes softly, scratching the back of his head.

"why don't you take a seat? one hot cappuccino with incredible latte art for the beautiful yn, coming right up!"

just like the previous day, the girl sits at the bar. patiently waiting for the barista to do his job. this time she notices the droplet of sweat that formed to the side of his forehead, his eyes narrowed like a hawk as he stared at the liquid he was pouring into the cup. "wait!" he suddenly says, frantically stopping himself and turning to his one and only customer. "what?" she asked, just as frantic as he was. "can you like not look at me while i do this...it makes me nervous" yn opens her mouth in shock, rolling her eyes once before she turned around in her seat, her back now facing him.

"okay..." she heard him whisper to himself, assuming he had finally begun pouring the frothed milk into a design on her coffee. then the girl hears him let out a breath, followed by his footsteps and a clink of a cup meeting the surface of the bar-like table. leehan clears his throat before beginning to speak.

"a hot cappuccino with improved latte art, for one pretty lady"

yn took his words as a signal to turn back around. honestly the girl had kept her expectations low, not really believing that anyone could perfect such art overnight. however, a look of pure surprise washed over her complexion as the cup of coffee came into sight. it was perfect. the foam in a clear rose shape, totally different from the alien-looking image she saw just the other day.

"what did i tell ya? perfect, right?" leehan grins widely, overly proud of his professional talent. he watches in amusement as his customer nods, "wow...this is amazing, leehan!" yn exclaims, pulling out her phone from her bag and snapping a couple pictures before she had to ruin it to drink. "and..." she begins, taking a sip out of the drink. "still delicious!" the barista smiles happily at her satisfaction.

"no but seriously, how did you manage to perfect it overnight?! you a wizard or something?" yn asks, editing the picture she had taken so she could upload it on her instagram story. leehan giggles, listening to her talk as he cleaned up his station in case other customers began showing up. "i'm starting to think you've always been good and just messed it up yesterday on purpose so you could get me to come back here" she states, making up scenarios for the boy's sudden perfection. he turns to her with a smirk, "and what if i did?" his teasing question makes her ponder for a moment before she displayed a similar smirk on her lips.

"well then it worked, didn't it?"

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖

"so how much do i owe you? you promised i could pay if i came back today" yn spoke, her wallet already prepared in the palm of her hand. "fine, it's $4.99" leehan says, pressing on a couple buttons on the screen. "okay, here...sorry, i don't have any small change right now" the girl pouted, handing him a $20 bill. "no worries..." he replied, opening up the cash register to collect her change. "oh shit....looks like there is a worry, i don't have change either..." the girl's eyes widen, "oh no!" she frowns, "what should we do?" they both look up for a minute, trying to come up with a solution. she could tell he thought of something when a cheeky grin takes over his face.

"say..." leehan begins, handing the $20 bill back to her. "you keep this...and you can just give me your number instead! pay me for the coffee at our date this weekend" the barista's sneaky solution surprises her once again. yn rolls her eyes, "now i'm really convinced that everything you do is a rouse to see me again" but her actions contradict the uninterested tone of her voice as she steals the pen from the pocket of his apron, grabbing a piece of tissue and beginning to jot down her digits.

"there...you better call me" he nods happily as he retrieves the tissue from her hands. "i promise, and you know i always keep my word" she giggles, "just for me though, right?" yn asks one last time before making her way over to the door. and right before she leaves leehan replies,

"just for you"

the end.

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖

AAAAAAH i loved writing this fic sm :3 also i luv barista leehan LIKE THOSE PICS FROM YESTERDAY #needthat 🤤 also cant wait for this comeback heehehsgegehhe i hope u guys liked this! reblogs and feedback r greatly appreciated as always. tysm for reading! love, kona.

[jollyfunvoid]

Bucci gang headcanons

Bruno Bucciarati

-Wes Andersson fan (his comfort movie is Grandhotel Budapest)

-fave era is roaring 20s (aesthetic & music wise)

-listens to electro swing, swing, jazz and blues

-has a very strong sweet tooth. His cravings are so extreme he is able to eat whole giant chocolate on one go and not gain a single kilogram. His favorite ice cream is stracciatella and his go to dessert is tiramisu. If you wanna bribe him, use sweets

-loves Golden Girls (Sofia is his favorite character)

-hardcore Eurovision fan, always prepares for the Eurovision weeks in advance, it's like a holiday for him

-brings small camera with him everywhere he goes, gets very emotional and sentimental when taking pictures, loves to keep all the memories

-shares an old record player with Abbacchio, they collects vinyl records together

-in charge of shared Netflix and Disney+ account

-has an ornamental lower back tattoo which matches the one he has on his chest. Has a lot of tattoos all over his body in general

-is very good at sailing and has a captain's licence. As a kid he used to be obsessed with pirates, he still lowkey fantasizes about life at sea

-surprisingly a very good dancer and hella skilled belly dancer. He is also very flexible

-Caterina Caselli number 1 fan

-drinks a lot of coffee, never starts a day without a cup of cappuccino

-obsessed with candles

-as a kid he used to build wooden ship models with his dad. Now as an adult he still does it sometimes, when he is not too busy

-bought himself a sewing machine because he is really into fashion and wanted to start making his own clothes. Isn't very good at it tho, his sewing skills are poor, so he always ends up zipping everything up with his stand and then acts like that's how the "sewn" piece is supposed to look like

-has a sweet melodic laugh

-extremely flirty, he is a snarky little shit who loves to tease others

-"Oh my god look at the sky! The colors are so beautifl!" *takes a picture* "And the clouds? Wow!" *takes another picture* "Guys, come look at the sunset!" *takes 20 more pictures*

-has a very low alcohol tolerance (3 glasses in and he is under the table)

-although he seems like a very well put together person, he is very messy and tends to misplace things, especially when he creates extra storage with zippers he can't find anything. He calls it "organized chaos"

-can easily sneak up on others, he just silently spawns out of nowhere. Is it his natural ability or is Sticky Fingers involved? No one knows

-is able to talk his way out of anything, uses his charm to his advantage a lot. Also the master of puppy eyes

-suffers from PTSD because of the attack on his father, that's why he always sleeps with a knife under his pillow. Everytime he hears noises in the middle on the night he gets paranoid that someone is hiding in or sneaking into his home with the intention of harming him and his love ones. When the panic attacks hit him really hard, he irrationally makes extra safety precautions, such as blocking doors with furniture or leaving the lights on. Also has trouble sleeping in unknown places because he feels vulnerable and exposed to potential dangers, he is always in a state of high alert.

-his favorite season is winter, he enjoys Christmas the most because he loves giving presents and being with his family. He definitely plays an old Ella Fitgerald vinyl records during Christmas time

Leone Abbacchio

-tea lover, his favorite is earl grey

-doesn't like sweets, however he enjoys dried fruit (especially figs)

-Narancia is his favorite kid

-movies enthusiast, has seen sooo many movies and is the biggest critic. He has a Letterboxd account where he writes reviews. Loves watching old horror movies the most because of the gothic aesthetic, but DC movies have a very special place in his heart

-hardcore Depeche Mode, Calabrese and London After Midnight fan

-goes jogging every morning

-after getting sober he tries to look after his diet more, thanks to Bruno

-knows a lot about occult stuff

-secretly watches RuPaul's drag race with Trish

-owns a motorcycle

-named his stand after Bruno's favorite music genre to honor everything Bruno has done for him

-takes very cold and brisk showers

-taught all the boys how to drive

-thanks to Mista he became a huge Gorillaz fan

-since Moody Blues doesn't have lips, she communicates with him via symbols on her digital forehead screen

-never puts down his headphones

-has a playlist for literally any occasion. Tends to gatekeep music, you have to be very special if he shows you his playlists. Has made a playlist for each member of the Bucci gang, the only one who knows is Bruno (Leone created him multiple playlists, they even have a shared one, which they play when they are alone)

-his skin is very prone to bruising

-Moody Blues also allows him to see fragments of the past when he touches various items, he is able to sense the overall vibe and emotions of their owner and the situation they were in while using the item.

-his clothes may be dark, but I know for a fact his socks and underwear are colorful af, wild patterns all over

-his favorite season is autumn, he loves rainy and foggy weather

-the biggest prankster of the group. Everyone thinks either Narancia or Mista are always responsible for the pranks, but it is actually Leone. No one ever suspects him, because he doesn't look like the type of guy who would enjoy such childish things. And thanks to his stoic appearance he always gets away with it.

-true crime podcast listener. Him and Fugo share this passion and often discuss their favorite podcast shows. Sometimes they watch detective movies together and bet on who will solve the mystery first

Pannacotta Fugo

-reads a lot of crime novels in his free time, always comes up with his own theories and tries to solve the case before the detective (got mistaken only once and couldn't get over it for a long time). His favorite author is Sebastian Fitzek

-loves watching cartoons and animated movies, because he didn't get to enjoy them as a child

-hates horror movies because of loud jumpscares, but doesn't mind gore

-drinking green tea helps him to calm down

-gets sunburnt easily

-either never gets ill, or is sick for several weeks straight

-developed not only respiratory, but also digestive problems because of Purpe Haze and feels nauseous a lot (also throws up very often)

-uses make up to cover his facial scars

-his skin is extremely dry

-has a very light sleep, he finds it extremely difficult to share room with others during missions (he is only able to fall asleep with either Bruno or Giorno because they are not noisy sleepers like the others)

-Sheila, Murolo and him have regular sleepovers and movie marathons. They also cook dinner together

-his favorite bands are System of a Down, Slipknot, Bad Omens and Motionless in White

-can't go on rides in amusement parks because he gets sick

-him and Abbacchio visit rage rooms regularly

-always carries a book with him

-chews a lot of bubblegum to release his anger

-everytime the gang travels abroad he is the one who has to translate everything since he knows many foreign languages. He speaks english, french, russian, spanish and norwegian fluently, his pronunciation is so spot on you could barely tell he is not a native speaker. Doesn't have an accent at all. Also knows basics of sign language and cyrillic alphabet. He uses these skills often in Italy too, when he gets approached by strangers on the streets he pretends he is a confused tourist who doesn't undertand italian

-gets overstimulated easily, he is especially sensitive to noises (suffers from misophonia)

-bites ice cream and ice

-"the book was better than the movie" type of person

-picky eater, very cautious with unfamiliar food

-takes extremely hot showers. Whenever he is in the bathroom it ends up looking like a sauna in there. Also the gang has an unwritten rule that if they share a room during a mission, Fugo can use the bathroom first because he hates feeling dirty and has to use the shower immediately, otherwise he will be grumpy and won't shut up about it

-has a nasty skin picking habit, which results in him picking patches of dry skin and scabbed-over cuts and scratches (many of his injuries never fully heal because of this)

-never leaves the house without a hand sanitizer

-fidgets with his hands a lot when he is anxious

-goes to bed first and also wakes up the first

Narancia Ghirga

-vegetarian

-convinced Abbacchio to watch Brooklyn 99 with him (although Leone didn't like it at first, they now binge watch it together). They also watched Breaking Bad and What We Do In The Shadows

-has heterochromia

-thinks Orange Capri Sun is the supreme flavor and refuses to drink any other flavor

-created a shared playlist for the squad, he blasts it everytime the gang travels somewhere (it mostly consist of EDM, trap, phonk and rap)

-always beats everyone in Just Dance game sessions

-wears mismatched socks

-somewhat good at drawing, has a very unique cartoon caricature-like style

-hardcore Marvel fan (loves Guardians of the Galaxy the most), argues with Abbacchio a lot because he likes DC

-Mista, Trish and him had a podcast at some point

-his favorite candy is Kinder Surprise

-makes paper airplanes when bored

-bites people he love

-cries when animal dies in a movie

-suffers from seasonal allergy

-sleeps with tiny Creeper and Enderman Minecraft plushies, he takes them everywhere and even made them an instagram account, where he shares random pictures of them. When someone from the gang goes on a separate mission, he gives one plushie to the group or the individual, so they wouldn't feel lonely. And they also take pictures of the plusie and send them to Narancia.

-speaking of Minecraft, he manages a server where the gang plays together. He even created custom skins for everyone which look like their stands. Since he is the only one without humanoid stand, his skin is Mr. Smith, the pilot or Aerosmith. He wears a jacket with a picture of his stand in the back

-he is afraid of doctors and doesn't like hospitals. Everytime he gets sick or injured, he gets very anxious about his health. He hates dentists the most.

-loves when Fugo reads to him because he has a very smooth audio-book-like voice when he is calm

-experimented with different hair dyes couple of times, Trish and Abbacchio helped him

-die hard South Park fan, quotes the show on daily basis

-steals everyone's clothes. Can't find a shirt? Narancia is wearing it. Your hoodie is missing? It's in Narancia's closet

-has sticky notes all over his room, because if he doesn't have something written down, he will most likely forget it

-surprisingly very strong, the only person from the gang he is not able to lift up is Leone

Giorno Giovanna

-his emotions effect his powers (different flowers grow around him or from his hair when he gets excited, angry or scared), however he manages to control and hide it well

-master builder in The Sims game; doesn't care about the gameplay as such, he just enjoys building the houses and spends hours decorating them. Fugo loves to join his gaming sessions, but he on the other hand doesn't care about the houses or decorations, his goal is to always kill as many sims as possible (he loves to play around with various gruesome mods, which Giorno secretly enjoys watching)

-walking cottage core moodboard aesthetic

-goes on a picnic at least 2 times a week. In general preferst to eat ouside, terrace or garden are his favorite places

-has a very complex skincare routine

-heist movies enthusiast

-Trish got him into astrology and tarot cards

-loves theatre and poetry, even tried to write some poems himself

-writes official Passione documents on typewriter

-installed beehives in the Passione mansion gardens and makes his own honey

-collects dried flowers

-is the best liar in the group

-a bug magnet, there is always some type of insect crawling on his clothes

-him and Fugo have library & bookshop dates, they also visit museums together and exchange random facts about nature. Nerds in love, what can I say

-caramel is his favorite ice cream and dessert toping

-has a small floral tattoo on his wrist

-autistic

-loves taking bubble baths

-takes part in any bet without hesitation, no matter how absurd it is

-very bad dancer, has no rythm, but he is the best singer from the group, his voice is angelic

-very rough driver; hits the breaks hard, pumps up the gas fast and does very sharp turns. Also drives hella fast

-learned how to differentiate the steps of other people (especially the fellow teammates, since they live together). This is an old habit from his childhood.

-he walks very quietly, others barely notice when he walks into a room or when he leaves

-hates the smell of cigarettes

-others think he has a very odd music taste, because he will be singing a song from a Disney movie and within a couple of minutes you can catch him vibing to Banshee. He is forbidden to play his music in the car because it consist of all kinds of genres it makes it almost uncomfortable to listen to. His fellow gang members say his playlists are inconsistent, but they just make sense to Giorno.

-speaking of music, he is a huge fan of Hozier, Die Antwoord, Ghostemane and Little Big

-very creative, his hobbies include all kinds of crafty ativities, such as sewing, embroidering, pottery making, felting, knitting, soap making, candle making…. you name it, if he can create something, he will. And he is very good at it

-extremely fascinated by venomous animals and poisonous plants. The deadlier the better. His obsession with killer plants led to him nicknaming Fugo "his aconito", because he associates the aconite flower with his stand (it disables nerves, lowers blood pressure, and can stop the heart, plus it's purple). His other favorite flowers associated with Fugo and Purple Haze are Nightshade, Love in a mist, Spider lily and Morning glory

-zones out a lot

-sleeps with dozens of pillows, when he sleeps he is literally burried under them

-when he gets overwhelmed he lights up an incense stick and it calms him down. He is very fond of nice smells.

Guido Mista

-enjoys shitty movies, especially buddy commedies and low budget rom coms. Abbacchio hates when Mista picks films for the movie nights. Bruno on the other hand loves it

-Adam Sandler number 1 fan

-signed up for an archery course, also tried to use crossbow at some point

-can fall asleep anywhere, snores very loud

-likes the weirdest food combinations (like ice cream and pickles and stuff), the type of person who eats fries with McFlurry

-kills bugs with Nerf guns, Giorno hates it

-plays airsoft and paintball in free time

-enjoys camping, rockclimbing and rafting. Outdoor activities are his thing

-hella superstitious, made up various rituals he repeats in order to avoid bad luck

-very religious, always says a prayer before every mission

-reggaeton is his favorite type of music

-idk why but him having diabetes makes so much sence, since Pistols have to eat regularly to keep his energy and sugar lvl. stable

-mayo is his go to dressing with everything (fries, hot dog, nachos...)

-him and Narancia have 1am fast food trips

-makes silly bets with others and always challenges them to do something stupid for money, Giorno is always the first one to participate

-the best hugger

-big brother energy, everytime the other teammates screw something up and are afraid to tell Bucciarati or Abbacchio, they go to Mista for advice. He is extremely responsible and can always keep his head clear in stressful situations

-claims to hate drama but is always down to listen to some fresh tea

-loves watching cooking competitions. He is always judging the contestants harder than Gordon Ramsay ever could, Abbacchio occasionally joins him because he finds it amusing

-whenever someone tells him "I love you" he replies "Ditto", referencing one of his favorite movies (Ghost, 1990)

[heavensickness]

Things university is for

Smoking a cigarette shivering in the cold in front of the library in winter

Experiencing the most intense friendship of your entire life and then never speaking to that person again

Having awkward small talks with the overworked assistant professor while waiting in the queue at the only cafe on campus

Drinking coffee in a plastic cup from a vending machine that has buttons such as cappuccino, latte, espresso etc. on it but all coffee it makes taste the same

Learning that unless you actively go to places, tirelessly take part in different activities and literally force people into meeting you if necessary, no one will invite you to a party, you won't have an iconic group of friends, you won't be able to do drugs or have sex or find the person you'll be engaged to in 2 years, and that even if you throw yourself at every socialising opportunity that comes your way, eventually you will always be more likely to spend the New Year sitting alone in your dorm room than spending the New Year with a group of friends at a big, fun party

Getting into a fistfight with the Student Affairs Unit and also with God

[boneblushed]

But on a Wednesday, in a cafe

muggle!au, James x fem!reader, I’m going through a really tough break up right now so writing this = therapy

I’ve been spending the last eight months / Thinking all love ever does / Is break, and burn, and end

Perhaps you should be used to it by now, this never-ending chasm of pain that begins and ends at the base of your ribcage.

It’s a deep, aching hurt, the kind that promises to linger until you’re forced to surrender. A draught of cool air pulls through your chest, alerting you to the tired heart squeezed within it. Every time you think about him—about the life you shared—it breaks and splinters, rocketing another of its shards into the surrounding structures. A dreadful pang.

Who knew love could hurt this much?

It’s taken a while for your heart to look the way it does. A few weeks ago, it was held within your shaking palms, wrung through with desperation as you begged him to return. Here… take it, please? It belongs to you… it’ll always be yours.

Prior to that, when the aching wounds were still fresh, you wove bandages from hopeful ignorance, fastened them with blind faith. No, love couldn’t possibly be as fickle as he was making it out to be; you couldn’t let yourself believe it was, you’d simply have to bide your time until he came to his senses.

Until he told you how wrong he was, how much he didn’t mean any of it. Of course I didn’t fall out of love with you, of course that can’t just happen; I love you, I’m sorry, forgive me?

And pathetic as your broken heart is, you would be ready to do so, no matter the stakes.

It makes you stomach roil as you think back on it now — the power he had over you, how callously he wielded it every time you spoke. Has. Present tense. The fissure deepens.

It’s terrifying, how quickly your world can shrink into nothingness. Once upon a time, you’d considered him your soul-mate—your person—and now it’s as though the pair of you are strangers, even less than.

It’s true what they say, indifference pierces deeper than hatred. After all that you’ve been through with him, all that you’ve shared, how are you supposed to simply move on and find love elsewhere?

The cobblestone path you walk along is well versed with your rumination. A quilt of autumn foliage crunches underfoot, a petrichor rich scent present in the air. Every shop window you pass boasts Thanksgiving deals that you ‘just don’t want to miss!’; it’s nauseating as much as it is heart-breaking, having to do the holidays without him for the first time in six years.

It’s probably pity more than it is fate that leads you to the new cafe in Godric’s Hollow — you’ve shed far too many tears for the Universe to bear, plagued with motion sickness from how quickly your sadness turns yearning again.

You miss him. It’s right there in your eyes, how much you miss him. James’ on barista duty whilst his colleague Remus mans the register; the latter may discern the melancholy in your features, but it’s James who recognises the exact significance of it.

He’s been through it before, you see, with Lily Evans. His gaze softens, dappled brown eyes falling over you in paces, and he wracks his brains for things he’d have wanted when he was going through the worst of it.

Except, the one thing he wanted no one could realistically give him — Lily. Who’s your mystery boy? Is it truly as over as your eyes say it is?

“Uh, hey,” you greet. Your voice doesn’t crack as much as it’s barely loud enough to register.

“Hey,” Remus responds, sending you a small smile. Playing it cool whilst his knee nudges James’ under the counter. “What can I get for you?”

“Just an iced latte please,” you answer. “With oat milk, if you have it.”

Remus punches in your order as you reach for your wallet. The cappuccino James’ making overflows.

“Shit!” He curses, jerking back his hand hastily, the skin scalded. Droplets of burnt coffee fly onto the machine as he shakes them off.

You startle, turning to look at him. “You alright?”

“Coffee’s on us,” James replies, reaching over Remus to cancel the order. His peripheral vision catches the incredulous look he sends him, but he thinks it a disservice to look away from you in this moment. The melancholy in your eyes ebbs a little. James’ heart soars.

“Really?” You ask, your voice a little louder now.

“Oh yeah,” James responds, faux-serious. “You’re our fiftieth customer today.”

“You’re lying,” you say, a flicker of a smile on your face.

James shrugs, grinning handsomely. “D’you want the free coffee or not, oat milk?”

You raise your eyebrows in response, pretending to zip your lips and throw away the key. James nods approvingly.

He discards the dregs of the cappuccino he was making, starting anew with his gaze flitting over to you intermittently. You watch the trees sway through the high windows to the left of you as you wait, your hands clasped in front of you, one wrist held in a palm. He knows, as he watches you, that you have to go feel all of the pain to see a way out of it.

So he keeps his mouth shut for now, and hopes this cafe will become a regular haunt.

Weeks, a month, two passes. He takes it slow. He thinks your dreadfully pretty but that’s besides the point right now; when he was grieving his relationship with Lily, all he wanted to do was mope and be left alone. No number of Sirius’ “friends” could quell that deep, overwhelming hankering in his chest.

“Hey,” you greet one day, resolute.

James raises his eyebrows at you. Remus is off sick. “Hey?”

“I’m paying today.”

James snorts, shaking his head. “No way.”

“I’m tipping heavily,” you warn.

“Wow,” James sighs sadly. “Like you would any other employee, huh? And here I thought we were friends.”

“Shut up.” You scowl. Not really; it baffles James, how your features can still look so sweet when they’re contorted all angrily. “You’re right. You don’t even need this job.”

The thing about James is, his family owns half the establishments in town square. He’s one of those enigmatic personalities that you’ve always known to rule your hometown; around when you are, dancing around the corners of your gaze, kind and ever-present but never very important. Until now.

He grins handsomely, dropping into a curtesy. He oozes fondness and it makes you forget things often. “Nepo baby at your service, sweetheart.”

“That’s what I don’t get about all this,” you say. “You don’t… why’re you wasting your time here? Is this gig just a way for you to pick up chics?”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

“James.”

He grins wider, raising his arms in surrender. “Full disclosure?”

You cock your head to one side, intrigued. “I’m listening.”

“Well… it actually started as a way to fill my time,” he answers, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly. “I went through a pretty tough break up last year, and I couldn’t bear to be sat at home hurting over the same shit over and over.

“So dad got me this gig. I didn’t even get paid in the start, honest. I barely did anything; made like, one coffee over eight hours. But I was around people, and that helped. I don’t know.”

You swallow. It sounds far too familiar to your own circumstances, and a distant ache rings through your chest — a reminder. “I know the feeling.”

“And then I met Rems, and introduced him to my mate Sirius,” he continues, raising his eyebrows. “Turns out they’re fucking mad for each other, who’d have thought it? And it just reminded me… I don’t know, that there’s still hope.”

Another pause. You know what he means, but you want him to say it anyway, for your own sake.

Your lashes flutter closed. “Hope?”

“To love again. Eventually.”

His rough timbre reverberates through your insides. You nod, slowly, and when you open your eyes, unshed tears darken your lashes. James frowns, but he doesn’t intervene. He knows this feeling; his own heart mourns its melody.

He hands you your coffee soundlessly.

“Thanks,” you says, your voice cracks.

When you turn around, you know you’ll be back tomorrow. And then the next day, a few days after.

You aren’t sure when you start believing it too. But slowly, slowly, without even knowing you are, you begin smiling more. Ruminating less. No one’s ever given you this many free coffees in the past. James’ tally surpasses your ex-boyfriend’s by week four; the small talk’s more about you than about him, and he learns your quirks with this startling sincerity that you didn’t think you’d ever experience again.

The more you see of James, the more you recognise how much love your past relationship lacked. Strangers, friends, more than. All you did was blink.

Though of course, you’d be lying if you said the melancholy didn’t wax and wane, flow through you in waves that make your entire being crash ashore.

James knows this. He still feels the odd pang of heartache at the thought of Evans.

On Christmas Eve, the air feels different. The melted snow in your hair glistens in the warm light of the cafe, and for the first time since he met you, James sees it reflected in your gaze.

“The usual?” Remus asks in lieu of greeting.

“Times two, if possible Rem,” you say. You turn to James. “Coffee?”

James startles for a moment before he regains his composure, his wide, brown eyes falling over your in paces. You’ve always been breathtakingly beautiful, but something about your features seems different now, better.

Softer. Healed.

“You’re paying though, right?” James asks, faux-serious.

“I see,” you reply, folding your arms across your chest. “As long as it’s not a date, you have no problem paying for things?”

“Shit,” James wolf-whistles approvingly, jumping over the counter so he’s standing right in front of you. You gaze tilts, messing with your centre of gravity. “This is a date, huh?”

You raise your eyebrows. “Do you want it to be?”

James raises his in tandem. “If that’d make you happy.”

A pause. “You know,” you say quietly, breaking eye contact. “After my break up, I didn’t think anything’d make me happy ever again.”

James’ features soften. He reaches forward and cups your jaw, returning your gaze to his. “And now?”

“Can’t you see it in my face, James Potter?” You smile poignantly. “Yes is the answer to your question, by the way. It’d make me very happy.”

Behind you, Remus begins to clap. James groans and drops his head to your shoulder, deftly flipping him off. “Don’t fucking start, Moons.”

“Are you kidding? Coffee’s are on me, by the way. Pads is going to fucking die when he finds out.”

But on a Wednesday in a cafe / I watched it begin again

[frozenfries]

Cozy Café : A VALORANT Headcanon

It’s been a hot minute since I’ve written for this game, but inspiration struck at a random time. This totally hasn’t been sitting in my drafts since last January

Prompt: If the agents worked at a café, what would their roles and/or signature drink be?

Amidst the chaos of battle, a quaint café stands as a sanctuary for the weary agents. Here, they can take refuge from their high-stakes duels, and trade their weapons for aprons to pursue a different kind of mission: the art of brewing the perfect cup of coffee.

Phoenix: with his vibrant personality and quick reflexes, he’s the charismatic face of the café. Entertaining customers with his barista skills comes naturally as he conjures up dazzling coffee concoctions with a flair of his hand, a burst of flame and a confident grin. His signature drink, The Ignition Latte, is a fiery blend that invigorates even the most exhausted of patrons. Jett: agile on and off the battlefield, she brings her lightning-fast speed and precision to the café. With a swift motion of her finger, she effortlessly crafts delicate latte art, transforming each cup into its own masterpiece. Her Cloud Burst Cappuccino is a smooth delight, creating a moment of feather-light happiness for those who drink it. Viper: the formidable chemist brings her scientific expertise to the world of coffee. With a touch of her gloved hand, she infuses her creations with unique flavors and aromas, leaving customers in awe. Her Venomous Mocha is a mysterious blend that tantalizes the taste buds and leaves a lingering, addictive aftertaste. Sage: with her nurturing personality and herbal knowledge, she adds a touch of serenity to the café and its menu. Her Rejuvenation Tea is a calming infusion that restores both body and mind, providing a moment of tranquility amidst the chaos of everyday. Omen: ever the enigma, he brings an air of mystery to the café. With a flick of his wrist, he conjures up ethereal and smoky concoctions, leaving people wondering how he manages to capture such unique flavors. His Shadowy Cold Brew is a chilling experience that takes customers on a journey through darkness and light. KAY/O: the robotic agent assists in the day-to-day operations of the café, precisely measuring ingredients, ensuring efficiency, and maintaining the coffee shop's cutting-edge technology. KAY/O's presence adds a futuristic touch to the atmosphere, making customers feel like they've stepped into a realm where man and machine coexist harmoniously. Sova: a master archer, you can find him behind the counter carefully crafting his signature drink, The Tracker's Shot: a potent blend of espresso and a hint of blueberry syrup, topped with a delicate foam art of a wolf's paw print. Sova takes great pride in his creation, often using it as a conversation starter with customers, enthralling them with tales of his adventures in the wilderness. Cypher: the watchful surveillance expert provides security for the establishment. He has a keen eye for detail, which translates seamlessly into his signature drink, The Watchful Eye Latte: a meticulous combination of steamed milk, a shot of espresso, and a dash of vanilla spice syrup, served with a meticulous swirl of latte art depicting an intricate camera lens.

Chamber: the polished agent with a mysterious past has a taste for the unconventional, which is reflected in his signature creation, The Trademark Mocha: a rich concoction of dark chocolate, a double shot of espresso, and a hint of cinnamon, sprinkled with a dash of edible gold glitter that gives it an otherworldly shimmer.

Astra: with the ability to infuse her cosmic energy into any environment, she can elevate even a simple drink into an otherworldly experience. The Celestial Brew starts with a base of rich, smooth espresso, followed by a fusion of steamed milk and vanilla syrup, creating a swirling galaxy effect. To top it off is a dollop of homemade lavender-infused whipped cream, a touch of stardust and a sprinkle of edible glitter.

[welldonebeca]

about offices and feelings (1)

Summary: When Steve is stuck in an elevator with his office crush, he is forced to face his feelings about her. Pairing: Steve Rogers x Fat!F!Reader WC: 1.6k words Warnings: Office AU. Dirty thoughts. Office crushes. Masturbation. Tension. Broken elevators. Fluff.

masterlist

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Steve Rogers was so stupid. The stupidest of stupid men to have ever been stupid.

After Pepper had insisted on him for months, Tony had a new assistant, and his secretary threatened to sue him for delegating the work to her instead of hiring someone to do it properly.

He hired you, a perfectly adequate and competent personal assistant with very good experience and a track record of being the perfect fit for the job.

The day you walked into the office of Stark Industries was the day Steve Rogers' brain quit its job and never worked properly again.

You were beautiful, as gorgeous as if you had come right out of the Renaissance art he used to study in college, but the women in the paintings didn't hold a candle to you. Their soft jaws were not as beautiful as yours and your round cheeks, their curves not nearly as tempting and mouth-watering as yours.

And it made him feel such shame with his reaction, because you were modest and very professional, and he couldn't speak a word of negativity about your behaviour while his own behaviour was terribly gross.

Every day you were polite to everyone and tidy, and Tony's life was perfectly organised again, while Steve was thrown into a mess of madness and lust.

He was crushing on you, and really - really - hard. Steve was grateful that Tony's office was on a completely different floor of the building, which meant he didn't have to see you all the time, and so he wouldn't have his productivity tanked from not being able to look away from you. He barely saw you once or twice a week.

That was why when he caught your name in his inbox, he opened your email right away, finding a reminder of a meeting that would happen later that day, about the company's near mandatory day in the city park, which you were organising in Tony's name, of course.

Steve wrapped up his work, not wanting to leave you - or the other departments - waiting much, and actually finished ten minutes before it was supposed to happen. It gave him enough time to go to the coffee machine and make you a nice mixture of a cappuccino and hot chocolate, which he knew was your soft spot and favourite drink, and put it in a tall cup before making his own coffee and carrying them to the meeting room.

You were alone, setting up the presentation for Tony when he walked into the room, so focused you didn't even notice him as he put the coffee on the table and sat down, and he had time to adjust his posture before clearing his throat.

"Mister Rogers," you gasped when you saw him, a beautiful grin coming to your lips. "Good afternoon. Always early."

"Miss Y/N," he greeted, smiling, and raising his drink for you. "I got you coffee."

"Thank you," you spoke politely, reaching for it in his hand, and your fingers brushed against him when you picked it up, warm and soft.

You were all soft.

He took in a deep breath from behind the large table, your perfume was very faint in the room, and you smelt so damn good.

Steve would have loved to focus on your face and see your reaction at realising he had made the chocolate-cappuccino mix and not just gone for the mocha button in the machine, but there was something else he couldn't look away from.

You'd gotten up, and you were wearing a pencil skirt.

Steve could see your belly, its curve in all its glory, and all he wanted was to touch you, squeeze you and...

"Is this a mocha?" you asked, snatching his attention to your face.

Steve swallowed down hard, nodding as his cheeks felt like they were set on fire.

"I thought they weren't making mochas anymore," you sounded surprised.

"I mixed it myself," he told you. "The cappuccino and then the hot chocolate, I remember you like it better that way."

You were wide-eyed for a moment, a bit shocked, and smiled.

"Thank you, Mr Rogers," you gasped.

He gulped, nodding quickly. He was so close to a fucking HR summoning.

"You are welcome, miss," he squeezed it out of himself.

And before he could put his foot in his mouth, a group entered the room, greeting you two and taking their seats, and he put himself into his work mind again, which he should have been in since the very beginning.

He did his job like a good head of his department, took notes and offered his opinions, and behaved very correctly.

He also ran away from the meeting room before anyone else and locked himself in his office and his private bathroom once he was alone.

His work day was over anyway, and if anyone asked, he was having a stomach ache.

Steve didn't even have half an ounce of shame in him as he unbuckled his pants in the bathroom stall and pulled out his cock, lust coiling in his belly like a stupid teenager who had just seen a tit for the first time.

Fuck, he would love to see your tits. They were big, enough that he knew they would spill out of his hands easily. They probably were just as soft as you, and probably smelt so good if he buried his face in them.

He wrapped his fingers around himself, closing his eyes as his cock throbbed, neglected in his strict daily routine and already half hard as he jerked himself, muffling his sounds with a hand, afraid of being caught.

It was humiliating, jerking off in the company's bathroom like that, and he couldn't even be ashamed of himself.

He caressed his head, sensitive and shining with precum. Fuck, would you like his cock?

Would you suck it?

Fuck, he throbbed with the thought of your lips around his dick, of you hungry for him to cum down your throat.

He fucked his own hand needy, uncovering his mouth to fondle his balls, trying to be quick.

If it was for him, he would be putting his cum right in your cunt. Fuck, to have you under him, with your ass up, moaning as he fucked you hard and put his cum deep, deep in your cunt.

Steve bit his lower lip, stifling a moan as his balls tightened, and aimed for the toilet as he leaned against the wall, his cum hitting the porcelain right on time as his legs trembled, and breathed through his pursed lips, letting himself go and trying to calm down.

"Damn it," he hissed.

He was so fucked.

Steve hid in his office for another hour, emailing his team and sending the meeting's notes to them, so they would all be informed, and the office was already empty when he walked off, suit over his arm and suitcase in his hand, completely relaxed knowing he wouldn't cross paths with you.

He didn't know how long hiding from you would even work. You were both adults, he was a grown man who knew he was absolutely in the wrong position, and while - so far - it wasn’t something you seemed annoyed with, he didn't know how long it would be until you picked up on it and started to get uncomfortable around him!

Steve wasn't mean, he knew you didn't owe him anything, and the last thing he wanted was for you to think he expected something in return for just being a decent human being around you.

He waved to the janitor as he walked to the lift and pressed the button, waiting for it quietly.

He was ready to go home, have a nice dinner and rest.

And then, when the door opened, he was shocked to see you.

"Mr Rogers," you greeted.

Steve was frozen for a moment, staring at you wide-eyed, and shook himself into walking into the elevator.

"Good afternoon, Miss Y/N," he greeted. "Afternoon? Evening?"

You thought for a brief moment, looking amused.

"Is it six yet?"

He looked at the buttons to see if you had pressed the button to the existing level and then checked his watch.

"Six and two minutes," he told you.

"Evening it is," you decided.

He hummed a quiet confirmation to you, watching the numbers going down.

"Long day?" you asked suddenly.

Steve turned to look at you, surprised by the tentative small talk.

"Yeah," he confirmed, a bit too honest. "Lots of work."

"Yeah," you agreed. "Lots of... stuff."

"Yeah," Steve agreed.

You two exhaled together, and the doors opened in an empty floor, closing right after.

Steve was about to ask you something - anything, whatever was enough to make you feel like he wanted to keep talking - when the metal box you two were in shook and stopped suddenly, and if he didn't reach for you quickly you would have fallen onto the floor.

His heart came to his throat when the lights became black and the elevator started free-falling, and you grabbed him, squeezing him for dear life and screaming in fear.

And then it stopped, not killing you two, but not leaving you comfortable either.

The two of you fell down on your butts, and held you as you panted and sobbed into his neck.

Steve didn't even think before wrapping his arms around you, squeezing you through the panic.

"It's okay," he rubbed your back. "It's okay, we are okay."

You pulled back, looking at his face and then around, opening and closing your mouth, all blood gone from your face as you literally shook in his arms.

"We are alright," you stuttered. "We are alright. In a broken elevator."

Shit.

He looked around, the elevator still completely dark, and reached up, pressing the red button to get security's help, knowing better than to try to get out.

You seemed to be trying to calm down as he did it, and Steve rubbed your back slowly, trying to calm you down.

"Hello?" security answered.

…

“about offices and feelings” was posted on my Patreon in June. To read it now, subscribe to my page! It’s just $2 a month, and I post 6x a week.

…

Forever Tags: @emoryhemsworth​​ @amythyststorm33​​ @shaelyn102 @yknott81​​ ​​@maximofftrash​​ @kgbrenner​​ @thefridgeismybestie​​ @magpiegirl80​ @mogaruke​ ​​ @musicalcoffeebean @megasimpleplan4ever​​ @deemoriarty​​ @05spn18​​ @malindacath​​ @kdcollinsauthor​​ @random-fandom-fangirl2112​​ @widowsfics​ @frozenhuntress67​​ @averyrogers83​​ @notyourtypicalrose​ @nerdypinupcrystal @giruvega Marvel forever tags: @its-daydreamer23​​ @random-fandom-fangirl2112​ @tayrae515​? @indecisiondecisions​​? @afanofmanystuffs​​? @patzammit​​? @thevanishedillusion​​? @widowsfics​​? @alexisshoto​ @princess-evans-addict​​ @dreams-of-feysand​​ ​@dragonqueen0606 @izbelross @isabelle-faith

[shuchu]

im not even a kyo stan but like 😳 imagining the trope where childhood friends get seperated for a while and when they reuinte again, person a is shocked at how much person b has changed and now person a is confused and flustered around person b 🥺

‧₊˚ ☁️⋅ different but familiar ₊˚ෆ

character(s): kyo kaneko

note: gn!reader ; fluff ; not proof read!

a/n: oh gosh i haven't written a proper fic in ages... i apologise if this is sloppy ;w; but hey, my first kyo fic o_o despite being a kyomie for a while now lol oops. i actually really enjoyed writing this, it made me feel all soft and warm on the inside hehe. this kinda ended on a cliffhanger, let me know if you guys want a part two!! thank you anon for the idea!! enjoy lovelies ♡

art credit

you were on your way to the coffee shop nearby to get your coffee before heading to work. you take a deep breath of the crisp autumn air as you walk through a carpet of leaves, hearing them crunch beneath your feet. you swing open the door and hear the little jingle of the bell before the delicious smell of freshly baked pastries mixed with the fragrant scent of coffee wafts towards your nose. a faint smile graces your features as you walk towards the counter to order.

"hi what can i get for you today?" the cheerful cashier asks.

"i'll have an oat milk cappuccino with 2 shots of espresso as well as a croissant please." you respond, giving the cashier a friendly smile.

"will that be all?"

"yep! thank you!"

just as you were about to pull out your card to pay, you see someone reach forward to tap their card on the machine. you turn to your left to see who it was. a guy with light blue hair smiles at you and says, "my treat."

as you walked over to the collection counter with him, you were trying to figure out why this guy looked so familiar. did you know him?

and then it hit you...your eyes widened as you looked at him

"kyo?"

he turned towards you with a soft chuckle, "took you long enough."

"oh my gosh...i haven't seen you in..." your voice falters as you try to recall the number of years

"thirteen years." he says as he looks at you with a small smile

"oh wow...it's been that long huh? how've you been? i hope mr. and mrs. kaneko have been well."

"oh yeah i've been busy, got a job that literally takes up all of my time. my parents are doing good though, thank you for asking about them."

"so...what brings you back to our quaint little town?"

"well...my mom and dad wanted to meet some old friends and catch up with them. i've been working tirelessly for months without a break so i decided..."

kyo's voice drifts off, melting together with the background ambiance of the coffee shop as you stare shamelessly at him, noticing the changes in his appearance since you last saw him.

oh wow, when did he get his ear pierced? his face changed a lot...it's a lot more defined now. also, he shot up so much what the heck?! i was taller than him when we were kids...that's so unfair, why do guys get so much taller after puberty...wait, was he always this handsome...?

"hey...hey y/n...are you done checking me out?" kyo's voice gets clearer again as you snap out of your thoughts. you feel your cheeks heat up after getting caught staring at him and because of the close proximity between the both of you. he leaned in to get your attention and now both of your faces were just a few inches apart.

you avert your gaze to compose yourself and mumble, "i wasn't checking you out..."

he leans back and chuckles, "uh huh...so tell me what i said then." he teases, a smirk evident on his face.

you stay silent because obviously you didn't hear what he said, he chuckles and flicks your forehead gently, "you haven't changed a bit, always spacing out."

you move your hand to rub the spot he flicked with a pout, "quit it, you're still as annoying as you were back then." you giggle after and he laughs too. it felt nice to joke around with him again. your heart swells with happiness, you've missed him — more than you thought you did.

the barista calls out your name and you go to grab your order.

"i'm assuming you're headed off to work now, where do you work by the way?"

"oh it's just 3 blocks down, that massive office building?"

"oh yeah, i know which one you're talking about. what time do you get off work?"

"6pm."

"oh perfect, i'll see you then. we need to have a proper catchup. dinner's on me too." he says with a boyish grin.

"no that's okay, i can-"

"nuh uh uh, no can do. um...i'm sure you have to start walking, it's almost 9am. you don't wanna be late to work do you?" he says as he places his hands on your shoulders and swivels you around to face the direction of your office.

you click your tongue and start walking, turning your head back to respond to him, "we'll see mr kaneko. i'll have my card ready this time."

"byeee! good luck at work! i'll see you at 6!" he calls out as he waves at you

you wave too and turn back around with a sappy smile on your face, your cheeks flushed. well that's something to motivate me to get through work today

[justtwotired]

Whispers of the night Lloyd G. X F!reader

Part 1 - previous - next

Warning: slight sexual content

Tag list: @cipheress-to-k-pop @whore-of-many-hot-men @bodieohbo @anyth1ngfor0urmoony @luvizuku @viannasthings

Your pov:

I closed the door behind me and waved at Luna who was serving tables. It was a day before Christmas Eve and it was rather busy today.

Normally I don’t work on Wednesday’s, but Luna, who stood alone today, called me as there was an unexpected crowd.

Quickly, I dumped my jacket in the kitchen and headed out to help the people at the counter.

“Are you guys open tomorrow?” The woman asked me and I shook my head.

“Uh no, seeing it’s Christmas Eve tomorrow we are closed, I’m sorry,” I apologised and the woman frowned for a second.

“But I really need a cake tomorrow,” she said and I internally groaned, how did I manage to be here for five minutes and there was already someone being annoying?

“Do you have an order?” I asked, and took the map where we managed the orders from the shelf.

“No? I just thought to swoop by tomorrow and grab a cake,” she said and I let out a sigh.

“Then I am sorry to say that that is not possible, we do not have the time to make a cake on such short notice,” I said and she looked like she wanted to argue but decided against it.

The woman walked out, without any goodbyes and I turned to the young couple who had stood behind her.

“Can I help you two?” I asked, exchanging looks with poor Luna who was stuck talking to one of our regulars. That woman never shut up about herself and escaping was not an option really.

“Yes, please, is there still room for us to sit?” The girl asked and I nodded.

“Uh yeah, at the window over there I think, other than that we’re completely full,” I said and they exchanged happy looks.

“Great, can we get two cappuccino’s then?” She asked and I nodded again.

“Yes, of course,” I quickly wrote it down together with the place they would be sitting. “Please take a seat, I’ll bring it in a second,” I gestured to the spot and they thanked me and walked off.

I quickly headed for the espresso machine and started two cappuccino’s along with a latte, spotting the small sticky note that still stuck to the counter, an order Luna probably hadn’t been able to fit onto her tray.

As I was steaming the milk, she joined me and quickly started arranging a tray for the two yet to be made orders.

“Can you also make a double espresso and a normal coffee for table four?” She asked and I nodded.

“Finally escaped uphill?” I asked amused as I poured the steamed milk into the two cappuccino cups, only to steam milk again for the latte macchiato.

“God, that woman is insufferable,” Luna shook her head and took the two cappuccinos. “Honestly, can’t we just ban her from the shop? If I hear something about her dog one more time I’m going to barf,” she said, walking off as I laughed.

Half an hour later, most people where gone, only three teenage girls and an older couple who regularly came for just two coffee where seated.

“Thank you so much for helping me out here, you are an angel,” Luna came to stand next to me and handed me some coffee, which I found out contained a pump of caramel, when I took a sip.

“Oh I know,” I grinned, watching the rain outside. “I don’t think we’ll be getting a white Christmas,” I pointed out a tat disappointed.

“Oh god, you don’t have to walk home trough this rain right?” Luna asked, giving me a pitying look, making me chuckle.

“Nah, I already managed to get a personal taxi,” I winked and as if on cue, greenie walked trough the door, surprising even me.

I had called Lloyd, but I didn’t know he’d show up like this.

“You called an uber?” He asked amused and Luna laughed next to me.

“Of course,” she said shaking her head, “when one needs a ride home, call the green ninja,” she gave me a look and I shrugged.

“Hey, Lloyd was busy, and I needed a ride, if you have the privilege, you should use it,” I said and headed into the kitchen to grab my jacket.

“Ready to go?” Greenie asked and I nodded.

“Jup, ready as can be, what are we taking? Motorcycle or the dragon?” I asked him, before he could answer, the door opened and the earth ninja also joined us.

“Can you two hurry up? Red is loosing his mind waiting for N/n,” he said and both me and greenie chuckled.

“Yes, coming,” I quickly walked towards the door and followed Greenie out.

“Bye, Lu!” I waved and she smiled and waved aswel.

“O-oh, bye Luna,” Cole noticed her and also waved, making her chuckle shyly and waved back, her cheeks tinted a bit red.

“I will never get over the fact that you have the hots for one of my best friends,” I said when the door was closed, making Cole shush me as if Luna would be able to hear.

Both me and Lloyd laughed at him while he rolled his eyes and flew off on his dragon.

“Trouble!” Kai flew into my side, hugging me making me laugh. “Finally you’re here, these guys where getting boring,” he waved a hand at the others who made offended noises.

“Awe, I missed you too,” I said with a small smile before it fell, “but uh, can we get going? I’m getting drenched and I would appreciate some warmth,” I said making the others chuckle, before calling upon their elemental dragons.

Lloyd held out a hand for me to take, and so I did, before he too, summoned his dragon and we flew off.

“You’ve got to teach me how to do that some day soon,” I said, making him look back at me, “my father never learned me, he never knew how to do it himself,” I explained further and his eyebrows rose.

“I’ll teach you, but let’s get you home first,” he said before pausing, “you can come to the monastery to if you want,” he suggested and a smile grew on my face.

“Yes!” I said excitedly and he chuckled before saluting and taking a turn, changing the course to the monastery instead of my house.

At the monastery, he led me trough the garden, which he hadn’t showed me yet. It was beautiful, all kinds of plants grew everywhere and Lloyd promised that in the spring, the first flowers would start to grow and the whole garden would be full off colour.

I beamed at him and looked back at the garden, imagining it with flowers and other kinds of plants.

The breeze picked up and I shivered, pulling my coat tighter around myself in hopes of warming myself up.

An arm was put around me and Lloyd leaned in close, “let’s get you inside,” he whispered right next to my ear, causing my cheeks to heat up.

Inside, he lead me towards his room and we bumped into Koko along the way.

“Y/n, you’re here, how good to see you,” she pulled me into a hug and I smiled, hugging her back. She put me at arms length and smiled at me, “has Lloyd asked you to spent new years here yet?” She asked and my eyes widened slightly, I looked back at Lloyd who gave me a sheepish grin.

“I was planning on doing that later!” He insisted when he caught his mothers scolding glare. I chuckled at the exchanged while Lloyd crossed his arms and Koko shook her head before giving me an expecting look.

“Uhm, I’ll have to talk to my parents about that first, but I really love the idea, thank you so much for inviting me,” I wasn’t shy in showing my excitement and the woman beamed at me.

“Let us know, I’d love for you to be there,” she insisted before pulling me into one final hug and walking past us, giving Lloyd an affectionate pat on the shoulder before turning the corner.

He took my hand and lead me towards his room, closing the door behind him while I went and took a seat on his desk chair, turning it around so I had my back turned to the desk.

“What are we going to do?” I asked, glancing around the rather empty room.

“Well, I was planning to ask you to join us for new years here, but that plan is ruined,” he hugged and I giggled.

He looked at me and his gaze softened. I sent him a smug smile back and leaned back against the chair a bit more. “What’s the new plan?” I asked, looking up at him and he huffed a small laugh, taking a few steps towards me.

“What do you want it to be?” He shot back and placed both his hands on the desk behind me, causing me to be trapped between his arms, making me look up at him, probably an absolute blushing mess.

“Take a guess,” I breathed out and he looked thoughtfully for a moment.

“Hm, I don’t know, maybe we can watch a movie or something,” he teased and I groaned.

“Oh shut up and kiss me already,” I said and with a chuckle he leaned down and caught my lips in a soft kiss.

My hands clasped around his neck, pulling him into me even more. One of his hands slipped from the desk to my waist, making me softly gasp, he grasped the opportunity to slip his tongue into my mouth, making me absolutely melt.

We parted and he pulled me up to stand, and if it wasn’t for his hands on my waist, I bet my knees would have buckled.

He didn’t waist time to kiss me again and I couldn’t help but softly chuckle at his eagerness, he deepened the kiss and I pressed my body against him as much as I could, if I was able to mold into him I would.

He pulled away and took my hand slowly walking backwards and I followed without much thought, when he sat down on the bed, I softly kissed his lips again before sitting down to straddle him. He moved his hands to my hips while mine were tangled in his soft hair.

Pulling away from me, he started trailing kisses from my jaw down to my neck. I sucked in a sharp breath when he placed and open mouthed kiss on my neck and I completely lost my breath when he carefully nipped at my skin.

I had a complete error at that, it took a moment for me to start breathing again and gave me an amused smirk before pecking my lips again.

“Hm?” He hummed teasingly and I let out an airy laugh.

“God, you’re irresistible,” I said breathlessly causing his cocky smirk to grow before placing another open mouthed kiss on my neck and I couldn’t help but let a whimper escape me at the feeling of bliss.

It only caused him to chuckle in amusement before pulling his head back and kissing my lips again.

Suddenly there was rapid knocking on the door and it flew open a second later.

“Are you two joining us- HOLY FUCK!” Kai covered his eyes in horror. “Damn you two horny ass teenagers, at least lock the fucking door!” He yelled and left the room, shutting the door behind him, his yelling voice disappearing into the hallway.

I met Lloyds eyes and he snorted, covering his mouth with his hand and I followed. We silently giggled and I leaned my head on his shoulder.

“Let’s go see what he was going to ask us,” I suggested with a grin and he nodded and stood up, still holding my waist to put me back on my feet.

He pressed one last kiss to my forehead before taking my hands and walking out of the room. I followed wordlessly, looking at him with adoration, I loved this man so much it hurt.

I spent Christmas Eve the next day at James’ house, just like every year. After eating a delicious meal and finishing dessert, the both of us left our parents and my siblings at the dinner table and head up to his room where we could watch a movie.

“So… are we going to talk about it?” He asked smugly making my eyebrows rise I confusion. Nothing remotely interesting happened at the dinner table today and as far as I knew, there was no drama in either our friendgroup or anyone else at school.

“Talk about what?” I asked, crossing my arms and narrowing my eyes while he just sighed and rolled his eyes.

“Listen here, ma’am,” he pointed at me accusingly, “that makeup on your neck might fool your parents but it ain’t fooling me- now tell me, did you get laid?” He asked and my eyes widened.

I spluttered while my cheeks grew bright red. My hand instinctively shot up to my neck where Lloyd had left hickeys the day before. I had covered them up with makeup so my parents wouldn’t start asking questions.

“James!” I shrieked when I managed to compose myself and went to whack his shoulder while he jumped back, laughing.

“What!?” He called out trough huffs of laughter, “it’s a genuine question- you’ve never done it before, I just want to know how it went!” He insisted before turning serious. “How was he? Was he big? He didn’t hurt you right? How was the experience? Did he take good care of you after?” He shot question after question and my face grew even hotter if that was even possible.

“James!” I interrupted him, “I didn’t not get laid!” His eyes widened at this and than he groaned.

“Still not?” He shook his head and rolled his eyes, “give me his number, I’ll tell him you want to get laid or at least suck his dick or whatever,” he held out his hands as if I would ever give him my phone voluntarily.

“What- no!” I took a few protective paces back, hugging my phone to my chest, “you aren’t telling him that,” I hissed. Even if it’s true.

He huffed and crossed his arms. “Hey- if you want to get laid, you hint to that boy you want to get laid, that’s how simple it is,” he insisted and I dropped my head into my hands.

“God- James stop,” I cried out and he laughed at my misery, making me pick up one of his hoodies that hung over his chair and chug it at him, making him try to dodge it but it went straight into his face, causing me to laugh instead while he gave me an unamused look.

[neil-perrys-suicidal-tendencies]

INTRO POST <3

Here's a long-overdue intro post.

NOTE - I LOVE RECIEVING ASKS AND I WILL ANSWER THEM AS SOON AS THE HORRORS WEIGH DOWN A LITTLE LESS.

LINKS SIDE BLOGS: @i-think-im-breaking-down-again - more personal blog @cappuccino-circa-capillaries - mental health stuff /pos @a-bitch-can-write-poetry - poetry and web weaving reblogs, will post my original work if I ever get the courage @honestly-im-honest- silly stuff @edwinpayneshomosexualtendencies - dbda side blog

MEDIA: Pinterest Spotify Storygraph stats.fm

DA BASICS- ABOUT ME: Name - Lisa Avenir (you can call me Lise or Liz) Nationality - Indian Languages - English, Hindi, a1 French, aspiring German, a dialect of Hindi spoken in my home state which is completely incomprehensible to anyone who does not speak it to the point its an entirely new language (which it is but I'm not going to reveal it because I don't want my home state to be known) Age - minor Gender - mostly female Pronouns - she/they Sexuality - ace-spec lesbian Religion - Atheist DNI: Homophobic, Transphobic, sexist, racist, ableist, any kind of phobic in general No assholes allowed either I love receiving asks just no freaky stuff FACTS- 🪶Only Child who keeps losing friends 🪶I love any form of Noodles Soup 🪶I have a huge crush on Maya Hawke 🪶I love biology and anatomy 🪶I need psychological help /srs 🪶I cry a lot, it's an art 🪶I might have a migraine issue which might be getting better :D 🪶I have brown ass basic eyes 🪶Reading mythology is my bae 🪶My vocabulary might be good but I can't spell for shit. 🪶I love making little collages on PowerPoint 🪶I'm touch starved but touch aversed. Yes, we exist. 🪶I'm a nerd fighter 🪶I love dissecting song lyrics 🪶My aesthetic is dark academia, dark feminine(excluding the femcel bs), witchcore and sickly victorian child dying of the plague core 🪶I am a hyper-organized person who might have germophobia 🪶I'm pretty sure I have trichotillomania 🪶I have these sneeze attacks on a daily basis where I sneeze like 15 times over the course of 3 minutes

HOBBIES- 🪶Reading 🪶Writing poetry or songs 🪶Listening to Music 🪶Talking about stars 🪶The Universe 🪶Literature 🪶Science (fuck physics)

INTERESTS- MUSIC: I love listening to albums(like a LOT of them) 🪶Genre - Indie, Indie pop, Rock, Alt-Indie, Basic white girl pop, Pop-rock, Pop-punk, Folk, Old Bollywood, Male manipulator, Female Manipulator, Lesbian Manipulator, ghazal, anything that slaps 🪶Artists - Ricky Montgomery, Lana Del Rey, Chappel Roan, Flower Face, Taylor Swift, Hozier, Phoebe Bridgers, Girl in Red, Clario, Conan Gray, Hank Green, Hayley Williams, Joji, Indila, Sabrina Carpenter, Adele. Kishore Kumar, Lata Mangeshkar, Jagjit Singh, Muhammad Rafi, Asha Bhosle etc etc 🪶Bands - Wallows, Florence and the Machine, Sir Chloe, Hole, The Smiths, Paramore, Beach House, The Jayhawks, The Neighborhood, Fun Guns, Cage The Elephant, Arctic Monkeys, Chase Atlantic, Radiohead, My Chemical Romance, Hayley Kiyoko. 🪶Albums(favorites) - evermore and folklore by Taylor Swift, Montgomery Ricky by Ricky Montgomery, Depression Cherry by Beach House, Ceremonials and Lungs By Florence and The Machine, Superache by Conan Gray, Emails I can't send frwd: by Sabrina Carpenter, Hozier by Hozier, Riot! and Paramore by Paramore, AM by Arctic Monkeys, Party Flavors and I am the Dog by Sir Chloe, Punisher by Phoebe Bridgers, Rainy Day Music by The Jayhawks, Petals for Armour by Hayley Willams, The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess by Chappell Roan, Social Cues by Cage The Elephant, Live through this by Hole, Born to Die(The Paradise Edition) and Ultraviolence by Lana Del Rey, Nothing Happens by Wallows, Baby Teeth and Fever Dreams and The Shark in your Water by Flower Face, Lilt by Hikes, Get up and Move by Fun Guns, The Black Parade by MCR. 🪶Artists that I lowkey neglect but should high-key eat - Nirvana, Tame Impala, Men we trust, Cavetown, Pink Floyd, blink-182, Green Day, boygenius, Mitski, The Smashing Pumpkins, Suki Waterhouse. BOOKS- 🪶Genre - Dark, War pieces, Dystopias, Young Adult, Depressing, Dark Academia, Classics, Psychological Thriller. 🪶Ride or Die- The Book Thief, The Perks Of Being a Wallflower, The Picture of Dorian Grey, MAUS, Paper Towns, Looking for Alaska, All the Bright Places, The Midnight Library, The Handmaid's Tale, The Diary of a Young Girl, The Boy In The Stripped Pajamas, Circe, Before the coffee gets cold, Sharp Objects, The Martian, The DaVinci Code, The Emperor of All Maladies, Turtles all the way down, And Then There Were None, The Catcher in The Rye, No Longer Human, Grandpa's Great Escape, Wild Bird, The Giver. 🪶Honorable Mentions from my TBR - A Little Life, Bunny, If We Were Villains, The Secret History, 1984, To Kill A Mockingbird, Six Of Crows, Lord of the Flies, Piranesi, Cleopatra and Frankenstein, Crime and Punishment, How it Feels to Float, Orbiting Jupiter, Normal People, Fahrenheit 451, The Myth of Sisyphus, Lessons in Chemistry, Slaughterhouse-five, Dark Matter. 🪶Poets - Sylvia Plath, Emily Dickinson, William Wordsworth. Sappho,

MOVIES- Dead Poets Society, Good Will Hunting, Lady Bird, Whiplash, Spiderman: Into the Spider-Verse, Forrest Gump, Duck Duck Goose, Rapunzel SERIES- BBC Sherlock, Orange Is The New Black, Brooklyn99, Dead Boy Detectives, Heartstopper, Derry Girls, Modern Family, House md?

RANDOM IMAGES-

USERBOXES-

MOOTS APPRICIATION!!!! @lv3buzzz, @noctilucaa(my wife), @wilsons-three-legged-siamese, @yourfavvgal, @1mlostnow, @arrr-im-a-dead-poet, @perksofbeingpoet, @mighthavebeenmurder, @take-me-to-the-rooftop15, @poetsinnyc, @joonof1989, @deadcrowcalling, @pingunaa, @xxcherryberriezxx @burgundykicks (text me if you would like your name to be removed <3333 ) -🪶

[jakeyt]

Covet: Chapter 4

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!Reader

Covet Summary:

Life was good. No, life was great. 

Was. 

Until.

Jake Kiszka crashed into the picture.

You welcomed him into your life—your home. 

Yes, he was your best friend’s twin. But, he was also the one who would end up disrupting your whole world with his attitude, his troubles, and the annoyingly natural way he lured you in. 

Jake Kiszka came with so much you really didn’t want.

At least that’s what you tried to convince yourself.

Warnings: MINORS DNI (18+); lots of sexual things happening in ‘real land’ and ‘dream land’ in this chapter; anxiety; heavy petting; Jake being an asshole; Reader is incredibly stubborn (like bad…it will probably aggravate you lmao) . . . i probs forgot some, so just lmk what i missed!

Chapter Word Count: 18k+ (i’m very sorry :o)

Covet Masterlist

a/n:

hi, loves :)

i have to tell you, i’ve been waiting to share some of the things that happen in this chapter for a longgg time. i’ve had a few of these scenes written and schemed for a hot damn second haha. they’re some of my personal favs.

i hope you enjoy, lovies!! <333

-🌼🌼🌼-

Chapter 4

You were still reeling from your dream when you decided to get up and get ready for the day. 

You had an open to close shift at the shop today since it was truck day and a week before inventory. You always worked with Josh on truck days. And since you had inventory to prep for, you’d be working together very closely to get things done. 

You weren’t sure how you were going to handle being around Josh all day after your dream about Jake. 

So you’d made the executive decision that as soon as your feet touched the floor, you’d pretend the dream hadn’t happened at all.

-🌼🌼🌼-

As you got ready for the day, you did a great job at pushing down any lingering thought.

You decided you were totally ready to conquer the day when you placed your vanilla cappuccino K-cup in your Keurig. 

A few moments after standing at the coffee machine, you heard keys shuffling in the dish on the counter. You didn’t even acknowledge his presence. You just stared at your coffee trickling into your cup as though your life depended on it. 

You heard the door open for Jake to leave, and you almost breathed a sigh of relief. 

“Hope you had a restful sleep last night, y/n.” 

Almost.

He continued to speak in a way that was much too friendly. “Heard you wake up a little early this morning,” he paused and your skin flushed at what he could be implying. Surely not. “Thin walls, you know.” 

You knew your eyes had slightly bugged at that, but you tried to school your features. 

There was no way he’d heard me say his name as I. . ., you thought. I was so quiet. 

You glanced his way, a stone-cold look set on your features. You weren’t even going to acknowledge what he’d said. 

“Have a good day, Jake,” you’d said firmly. You wanted him to know you were done with whatever conversation this could easily become. 

He smirked and winked at you, and you instantly looked back to the Keurig. You felt your ears and cheeks heat. 

And when he closed the door, you finally breathed and decided for the second time that day that you were not giving him any more thought.

-🌼🌼🌼-

A couple weeks later. . .

You kept catching yourself thinking about the twins and their recent activities. Why Jake would leave as soon as he’d get home, why Josh never worked evenings anymore. . . You didn’t know why your curiosity was killing you, but it was. Something was off. And whatever was going on, you were dying to know. It all had to be connected. Your mind had been running especially wild since that day recently where Josh had picked Jake up. It wouldn’t have seemed strange if Jake hadn’t been leaving that night, just like all of the other nights: guitars in tow. 

You’d also had the occasional (unwelcome) thought of your dream with Jake. 

The one where he’d been laying between your legs, his mouth doing everything so perfectly right. It had only been one week since your subconscious had betrayed you completely with whatever that had been, and you were really trying to act as though it hadn’t happened at all. 

“You know the career that Jake had to give up?” 

You blinked a few times to register that Josh was talking. And about Jake, no less.

You had both been in your own little worlds of thought today. Tomorrow would begin your scheduled inventory at the B&G. Because of that, the past week had required a lot of time and meticulous work to prepare for it. The few times you had spoken to each other today had been in passing, exclusively about the vinyl in stock. 

“What?” You asked, completely oblivious to where this conversation was heading. 

All day, your thoughts had only been consumed with the records. You’d had a one track mind to get everything wrapped up before close. You had to.

You looked to the clock, realizing closing time was drawing near. You surveyed the store, forgetting Josh had spoken at all for a brief moment. You liked getting the store set up extremely well anytime there was inventory. You wanted to solidify that it was ready to go before any conversation happened. 

“You think we’re about ready for the big guys tomorrow?” You asked him this as your eyes still scanned the store. You were answering your own question as you did. You had to admit, everything looked pretty damn good. 

Josh walked around the store, checking everything one final time. “Looks like we’re all set and ready to roll!” 

You nodded in agreement, and saw that closing time was about ten minutes away. You had a few minutes to hear whatever Josh was talking about.

You went and leaned against the front of the cash register counter, crossing your arms across your chest. “What were you saying again, Joshy?” 

“Jake’s dream,” you looked to see your friend coming up from checking the last record aisle. He leaned against the wooden display next to the check-out counter. “Y’know, the one he’s always wanted to pursue, but was forced to give up,” he continued. “The one I didn’t want to tell you about because it wasn’t my own,” you nodded, remembering. “Well, lately . . .it’s become my life,” he sighed loudly. “And I’ve decided I have to talk to you about it.”

You nodded again, and re-folded a B&G t-shirt to keep yourself busy. Then, it all clicked in your head. Your tired brain caught up to what this could be. 

Your ears perked up, looking up to catch his eyes again as yours got huge. “If this has become your life. . . Does it happen to be the same thing that you’ve been hiding from me?!”

He rolled his eyes, but then grinned at you. “Yes, y/n. It’s what I’ve been ‘hiding’,” he’d used air quotes, jesting at you. “Miss Dramatic, you.”

You knew you’d been giving the situation way too much thought. You just hadn’t been able to help your wandering thoughts. Josh had been working completely different shifts than the whole time he’d worked with you, and Jake was always gone. 

Not that you really noticed when Jake was home, anyway; it didn’t matter to you. 

But still.

“So. . . What’s going on?” You prompted.

He glanced down momentarily, then connected eyes with you. “We’re forming a band,” he started. 

You let every piece connect in your head, but one thing didn’t line up.

“Well, it makes sense with Jake’s guitars. Always going out the door with him after work, but I—you. . .,” You shook your head to yourself. “You don’t play an instrument, do you?” 

He gave a cheesy grin. “I play the vocals,” he lightly tapped an open palm to both sides of his throat to emphasize it. 

Your eyes widened more than they had before. “You sing?!” 

“Yeah. I actually have since high school,” he looked off into space, squinting. “I’ve recently found that it’s matured a lot since then, though.”

“Wow. Honestly, I’m a little shocked. I mean, I knew you loved music, but a singer?” You were still trying to grasp that, apparently, your best friend had this hidden talent. “Now I need to hear it,” you leveled him with a stare, straight into his eyes. A grin grew on your lips. “Sing for me.”

He shook his head, “Oh, no. . .,” He breathed out, brushing a hand through his hair. “You’ll just have to come to a gig.”

“A gig?” 

He chuckled at that. “Yeah, you know, places bands go to perform for others? Show what they’ve got to make it to the top,” he rubbed his chin. It had always been funny to you how often Josh seemed to magically transform into a man 50 years his senior. “We sent in a few clips of us performing to this place here in Brooklyn, and they booked us practically on the spot.”

You rolled your eyes. “I know what a gig is, Joshua. But I’m just — already? You’ve only been practicing for a couple of weeks.”

“This has been coming for years, y/n,” he said. “We used to spend every weeknight for years just playing and practicing and fighting over all of it in-between to make sure it was perfect,” he outwardly cringed at that. “We truly would practice all the time. It was our way of life for a long, long time,” he explained some more. “And on the weekends, we’d take a break from practicing and play for birthday parties or at little bars on the outskirts of our hometown.” 

“How did you get a gig here?” You genuinely wanted to know how they got hooked up in this giant-ass city. “People in New York surely aren’t as accepting of a little band from a small town as people had been in Frankenmuth. You were already from there, so of course it was probably easy to get places to perform. But New York? I mean. . .,” you blew out a big breath. 

“Danny’s dad knows a guy who knows a guy who's a partial owner of a few bars in Brooklyn,” you couldn’t help but tell that he looked disheartened. “I mean, the music we make isn’t half bad, y/n. I’m sure somewhere would have taken a chance on a few decent musicians. We’re not amazing, but we aren’t shit by any means. It wouldn’t have been impossible.”

Even though you really hadn’t meant to offend, he looked obviously hurt.

You realized just how rude you’d probably sounded. On occasion, you would talk before you really thought something through. It wasn’t your shining trait. 

You slapped your forehead, “God, Josh. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound like an asshole. I could’ve worded it much better,” you continued. “I am honestly so excited for you. It’s really fuckin’ cool,” you looked around you, feeling anxiety continue to blossom. You wanted to get past sounding like a jerk. “Sooo, you already have a gig lined up or you’re waiting to hear back about one?”

“Have one lined up. Next weekend,” he explained, his voice still slightly tight. “It’s at a place called Baby’s All Right. It’s on Broadway. The Broadway that’s here in Brooklyn.”

“That’s amazing,” you wanted him to realize just how happy you truly were for him and his brothers. “When is it? I’ll totally be there,” you wanted him to look at you. But, he was peering down at his sandaled feet, seeming too concentrated to only be looking at a pair of sandals. “I’ll probably see if Elsie can drop by for a night, too. She’ll probably be able to come since it’s on a weekend.” 

He lightened at that. He shook his shoulders a bit, showing you that he was releasing some tension. Josh wasn’t one to hold a grudge or stay upset for any reason for too long. Though, he was one to get hurt pretty easily. He wore his heart on his sleeve.

“Oh, that would be cool,” he said in response to your idea, finally locking eyes with you. He was trying to play it off–the idea of Elsie being there. But you knew he’d probably die if she were there. “It’s actually happening next Saturday, if you wanna tell her.”

“Perfect. I’ll talk to her about it ASAP,” you glanced at the clock. Seeing what time it was, you went about gathering your stuff to leave and shut the store down. 

“What if you get, like, super famous?” A smile stretched across your face at the thought. You silently released some of your own tension as you moved about. You wanted to live in this moment with your best friend, share in the joy of possibility. 

“I don’t know about that,” Josh shook his head, clicking lights off. “That would be great, but we really are just starting out. Who even knows how long a journey like that could begin to take.”

You hummed. “Well, that’s the fun in it, Josh,” you reached a hand out and squeezed his shoulder, meeting up with him. “You have all the time in the world to see where this journey might take you. You have no idea what could be coming.”

“Life is all about the journey,” he agreed. “I’m just glad Jake came back to us so we could take this chance–explore this venture together. Wouldn’t have done it without my twin brother.”

“So it really was his whole idea to begin with?”

Josh’s eyebrows knitted and he nodded. “Oh, yes,” he enthused. “He started playing guitar so young that, to him, making music seemed like the only option for a career in life. He’s always wanted his whole life to be one dedicated to music. Y’know, loving it enough to make more for the world–share it with others. . .his mind is a very intricate place.” 

His voice softened as he continued to speak of his other half, pocketing his phone and heading for the door. You followed close behind. “Jake is the kind of person who thinks primarily about big things. His passionate nature for all of it– it’s what drives us. We wouldn’t have ever started or become even halfway good without him. He had the vision,” he snickered. “But, he and I argued and fought many-a-time over whose vision was better,” he chortled at that. “Danny and Sam would try to get us to stop. Those situations usually ended with me storming out, and Jake having to sing in my place. I’ve always had a flair for the dramatics.”

You smirked at the last line. “Of course you have. I don’t doubt it for a second.” You thought of the other thing he said. “Jake can sing?”

“He’s a Jack of all trades.”

-🌼🌼🌼-

The weather that night was warm and muggy. You could even feel your hair beginning to frizz due to the few minute walk to your vehicle. 

You unlocked your car, which was parked right next to Josh’s beat-up clunker. Then, you remembered you hadn’t asked an important detail. 

“Oh, what’s the time of the show?” You reached in your purse to get your phone out, ready to make an event in your calendar. It’s not like you’d forget. This had all been huge news to you. It just seemed exciting to schedule this. You really couldn’t wait to hear their music and see your friends (and Jake) perform. You really had very little idea what to expect.

“7:00. And you’ll come?”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” you walked over to him and wrapped him up in a hug. He squeezed you right back, which made you release one more breath you’d been holding in. You adored your best friend and his passionate nature. It was one thing that made him shine—made him Josh. 

And you never wanted to be one to dim that.

-🌼🌼🌼-

On the drive home, you contemplated everything Josh had told you.

The guys were in a band. A band apparently good enough to play at a fairly popular bar on a Saturday night. That was a pretty big deal.

Something was burning in the back of your mind though. 

Why had you reacted normally to finding out Josh could sing, but gotten so angry when you found out about Jake playing the guitar? You’d known Josh for longer, you should’ve been more upset that he was just now telling you of his secret. 

Jake and talents, they didn’t matter. 

The only thing he was to you was your roommate. A guy you didn’t really know at all. You shouldn’t give a shit about what he does. Josh was your best friend. He obviously mattered so much more to you. 

You scrunched your eyebrows together at all of it. You rubbed a couple fingers between them at a red light you came to, trying to ease the stress of your thought process. When the light turned green, your mind was still running.

Really, why didn’t your irritation rise when you found out Josh’d been hiding his gift? What Jake does or doesn’t do shouldn’t matter to you in the slightest.

As you pulled into the apartment complex, you went ahead and convinced yourself that it had been the alcohol’s fault. It had obviously heightened your emotions on game night. So when you’d found out about Jake hiding something, you’d flared up. That made sense. Only logical explanation.

Tensions had already been high that evening, so surely that’s the only reason it had bothered you so badly. Right?

-🌼🌼🌼-

When you walked through the door to your home that night, the first thing you heard was the shower running. 

You tried to make yourself believe that you were totally put out that Jake was home and not gone. But it actually felt a little nice to not have him gone.

Though, you didn’t want to chance running into a wet Jake. You were still trying to get over the feeling of his wet hair that had laid against your bare skin in your dream. 

Stevie purred as you quickly set food in her dish. Before you went to change out of your work clothes, you decided to prepare things to make pasta for yourself. You got the elbow noodles out, as well as the ingredients to make some sauce to go on top, and set water in a pot to begin boiling on the stove. 

You were busting your ass to get dinner started and wait in your room for Jake to be done and go to his room. Because, really, bumping into wet Jake was the last thing you needed. 

You speed-walked to the washer in the laundry room and stripped your clothing at a lightning-fast pace. You placed your clothes in the machine and rummaged through your hamper to see what else needed thrown in. 

The shower continued to go as you piled your laundry in, the quickest you ever had.

You blanched for a second at being naked right outside the bathroom door Jake was behind. But you were still trying to get used to the pattern of sharing laundry days with him. 

Due to sharing days, you were so backed up on laundry. You wanted to try to get ahead while you had the chance – even if it meant being almost-totally-naked right outside the door of the bathroom. 

Before, you and Elsie had always combined laundry since you shared clothes with each other anyway. So this was totally new to you.

Once the washer had started, you walked swiftly to your bedroom. As you went about looking for comfy clothes in your dresser, you came up empty on finding anything. For a few seconds, your brain pondered where in the hell all of your clothes were. Inventory week was the longest, and your brain was wiped. 

Once you realized where all your clothes had gone, you moaned to yourself and slapped a hand to your forehead for the second time that day. They were still in the dryer from this morning’s laundry load. Instantly, you were completely and utterly aggravated that you were so behind on laundry. Inventory had been a factor in you being behind on laundry that week. It’d been keeping you particularly busy for the past week. 

But, of course, having to share the washing machine and dryer with fucking Jake… He was the main reason you were so behind. It was his fault. 

When you heard the shower click off, your blood rushed to your ears. You panicked. Fuck. Literally all of your good comfy pants and shorts were awaiting you in the dryer. 

You tried to strategize your next course of action. You didn’t have much time, so you could only think of one solution on the spot. You decided you could make it to the dryer before he got out– if you booked it. 

You rushed out of your bedroom, almost tripping over your cat. Thankfully, he still wasn’t out when you got to the closet that held the washer and dryer at the end of the hallway. You silently thanked God. The giant load of lights made it extremely hard to locate a specific T-shirt and the gray sweat-shorts you were on a mission to find.

Then, all of your worst fears came to life. 

You were still crouched over, thong-clad ass up in the air, when you heard the bathroom door creak open. The steam from the heated bathroom washed over your bare ass. 

You couldn’t move. You felt goosebumps rise on your skin. You didn’t try to move or hide, even when you heard Jake’s frustratingly sexy, raspy voice.

“Ho-ly fuck.”

Without any control over your body, you felt your panties get a little wet at the sound of his voice and his words. It was a lot to hear with you in this position. 

He could see quite literally every piece of your ass, you knew it. Your skin heated in a way you couldn’t deny. 

Were you that sexually depraved? Had it been so long since you’d had sex that you got wet at the sound of his voice? Was that the reason your dreams had only been haunted by his tanned and toned body as of late? 

You finally grabbed a random shirt and the stupid gray shorts that you were so stubbornly stuck on finding (for no reason at all, really). And then, you quietly shut the door to the dryer. . . as if that would help the situation at all. 

You cursed yourself for thinking of this ludicrous idea. Why couldn’t you have just waited his shower out? Why did you have to make it a mission to race time? You’d definitely had better ideas. 

You slipped the T-shirt on to hide your chest that had only been covered by a pink bra covered in tiny strawberries. But you weren’t about to embarrass yourself by doing an awkward little dance to put your shorts on. You know, the same dance every girl seemed to do when putting a pair of bottoms on. He didn’t need one more thing to mock you for. 

Especially in this predicament. 

You held the shorts tightly to your stomach, and for some reason, before you turned on your heel, you didn’t ask him to look away. 

No, instead, when you turned around and saw that he was biting his fucking lip while simultaneously settling his eyes on your thighs. . . . . 

You sort of reveled in it. 

He was staring at you so intently, you decided you’d do it right back. 

And if you were being honest with yourself, you would gladly take any opportunity to look at Jake. 

A few tendrils of his brown hair came to rest just at the tops of his collarbones, sopping wet and dripping water down the chest that always looked so smooth. His skin continued to tan from the summer sun, making it a warm caramel. Continuing to admire him, you trailed your eyes down. You noticed how the muscles at his hips accentuated his form just right. 

Your eyes fell slightly lower, and the material of the white towel was thin enough, you could have sworn you saw a slight twitch underneath it, between his legs. 

It made you flick your eyes back up to his face. 

You watched as he went from letting his eyes unabashedly explore your figure, to then letting his gaze lock with your own. 

Fuck, if he wasn’t beautiful as hell. 

Your mouth went dry at the way his eyes bore into your own. You might as well have been bare ass naked – you felt completely taken under his darkened gaze. Your skin grew goosebumps again, except this time it wasn’t for a change in temperature. It was for a completely new reason. You sucked in a breath. He watched closely as your chest rose with the breath. 

You couldn’t take the heat that overtook your body. You were starting to feel nauseous at how hot your body was getting. And your underwear was getting uncomfortable. You felt more of your damp arousal gathering, hopefully still hidden by the material. . .  for now. You needed to stop this before it was any more obvious what was happening to you, though. The light gray material would surely start showing how you felt if you didn’t shut this down. You held the shorts over your crotch.

You looked down at your feet, as not to get distracted by him. “Turn around, Jacob.” You tried to keep your tone sharp, but you couldn’t help it when it wavered just a little bit.

“Yes ma’am.”

The way he said those words made your head spin. 

You glanced up and saw that he’d swiveled around, the velvety skin of his back was the first thing your eyes went to.

Surprisingly, he didn’t stay there and taunt you like you expected. As soon as he’d turned, he continued on to his bedroom, letting his hands move languidly next to his hips, just walking away like nothing had happened at all. 

You couldn’t help but watch the way he walked to his bedroom. It sat all the way at the end of the hall, giving your eyes ample time to sweep over the details of the backside of him. You could see the curve of his muscle underneath the tanned skin of his back. The waves of his hair stuck to the top of his shoulder blades, water droplets still dripping, wetting his skin.

You let your eyes avert downward, to the white towel that was hiding the ass that you just now realized was perfectly round. 

It was truly too much. Everything about the man was irresistible.

Why did he have to walk so damn slowly?! 

He finally got to his bedroom and shut the door softly behind him. The sound of the door should have shaken you from your reverie, but you kept staring at it for a bit. There was a part of you that was waiting on him to come back for more. 

Suddenly, you startled at the sound of water sizzling as it hit the burner, boiling over. 

You let the thoughts of him fall out of your head. You put the shorts on and almost tripped on a leg-hole as you did the little dance you knew you’d have to do to get your shorts over the curve of your ass. 

Stupid Jake Kiszka. Stupid gray shorts. Stupid plan. Stupid laundry. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

Later, you were sitting on your couch watching New Girl when you started wondering about your roommate. He hadn’t made a move to come out of his room since your run-in in the hallway, and now you were on edge. 

It had been a while. Long enough for you to finish dinner and watch a full episode of the show.

Your mind ran rampant. Had he gone to bed? Was he avoiding you? Had he actually been repulsed by your appearance after seeing you almost naked? He had followed your instructions to turn around rather quickly. Too quickly? Had you read the situation completely wrong? 

You’d be lying if you said it didn’t embarrass you to think of how you may have misinterpreted things with him in the hallway. 

You were irritated because you’d mentally established at the beginning that it was incredibly rude of him to avoid you in your own home.

But why did any of it matter at all? Ugh. 

You should’ve been happy that he was deciding to keep to himself. Him not being present was actually offering you some time to try and forget the hallway situation. You sighed to yourself as you focused hard on watching Schmidt say something to earn him a trip to the Douchebag Jar. You didn’t want to focus on Jake-related things.

Though, it seemed as soon as you’d decided that, Jake actually meandered in. 

You didn’t watch him for long. You just kept doing what you were doing. He would go away eventually and you would be alone again. 

That was what you wanted, right?

But then, he sat down on the other end of the couch. Butterflies filled your stomach at the proximity. 

You set your pasta bowl in your lap and peered up at him.

“Nice of you to join the class.”

His mouth turned up in a little grin at that. “You sure do miss me when I’m away, huh?”

You rolled your eyes. You didn’t want to admit to the possibility that you might actually miss his presence a little from time to time. Why, though? He didn’t mean anything to you. You’d barely interacted with each other. And any time you did, he always got under your skin. 

He hummed to himself, and you couldn’t help it when you watched him spread his legs a little. He sat one hand on his plaid-pajama-panted thigh, and observed the screen for a couple of beats. Then he said, “You like New Girl?”

It stunned you just the slightest bit that he was making small talk with you, but you rolled with it, peeking over to him. “It’s my go-to.”

“It’s a favorite of mine as well.”

Shockingly, he stayed in his spot for an entire episode.

And when you got up to go put your bowl in the sink, you noticed that his eyes followed you to the kitchen. When he grasped that you’d seen him looking, he quickly turned his stare back to the television.

“Hey, are you hungry?” You asked him, once you’d put your dish away. 

You were completely unaware of why you were asking. Why were you trying to possibly get him to spend more time with you? This entire night had been weird. You weren’t sure how to handle it.

“I actually already ate out with a client before I got home,” he said it loud enough that you could hear his response from the kitchen.

Your stomach fell a little at that. “Oh, alright,” you called back. As you put your food away, you caught yourself wondering if the dinner with a client had been more like a date than something professional. You didn’t know why your mind went there.

For two more episodes, you sat at your end and he sat at his. You’d noticed that you seemed to laugh at the same exact moments as each other. And his laugh. . . it was something so enticing to your ears. You couldn’t explain it. You felt your stomach flip just the slightest bit anytime you heard the sound.

It did something good for you to know you had a similar-enough sense of humor to laugh at the same time. Maybe Josh had been right when he’d told Jake that first night that you two were alike. 

You shared an appreciation for similar types of music; you both enjoyed the act of bonding over music; you were both slightly stubborn (him more so, of course); and you both shared an appreciation for New Girl’s comedic relief. And that stood out because you had learned over time that the TV show wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea. But it was definitely Jake’s. 

Strange.

You lost yourself in thought for a bit, but couldn’t help it when Winston said something that was funny enough to pull you back in. You gave a little giggle at the scene.

And, of course, as you laughed, Jake had done just the same.

-🌼🌼🌼-

It felt slightly awkward going to bed. Standing in a hallway that seemed to be wrought with tension after the night’s stand-off and last week’s whatever-that-had-been just outside your bedroom door. 

You stopped at your door, and when he saw you do it, he stopped caddy-corner from you at his own door. You cleared your throat.

“So, Josh told me about the gig next weekend,” you paused. It hung there in the air. You didn’t know what else to say, other than that. 

But he seemed to appreciate the start in conversation because he hummed and gave a friendly smile that brightened his whole face. His eyes twinkled at you when he said, “It’s exciting. I’m excited.”

You gave him your own little grin. And, his eyes had seemed to light up a bit more when you smiled back, but you didn’t give it a thought. It was late. He was probably tired. It was very possible you had imagined the change in his expression because you were so tired.

“I’m excited for you, too.”

-🌼🌼🌼-

A couple days later that same week, in passing, he mentioned your cat. He was leaving the apartment to do (what you now knew to be) band-related things. 

“Stevie.”

“Why do you want my kitty cat?” You wondered. He smirked at the question, surely thinking something suggestive and you just said, “Shut the hell up. You know what I meant.”

“I don’t need her,” he kept smiling, probably still thinking of the little joke in his head. He clutched the door handle to leave, looking down. You couldn’t handle how cute he looked, his sunglasses covering his eyes. “Just—is she named after Ray Vaughan?”

“No. Stevie Wonder,” you corrected. “Why?” 

“Oh my fucking God—.”

“He’s one of my biggest inspirations. I had to—.”

“Would’ve been better,” he interrupted, flashing his eyes at you. “If you would have named her after Stevie Ray Vaughan.”

“I don’t love him like I love Stevie Wonder,” you defended. 

“Your fuckin’ loss.”

He opened the door, about to walk out. You weren’t done, though.

“Not your place. Not your cat,” you glared at him, your irritation simmering right below the surface. “Keep your ridiculous opinions to yourself.”

He stopped at that. “Now I’m not allowed to share my opinions?” He raised a brow. “You just love to be a tyrant. Let’s make a new rule,” he put a hand in the air like he was displaying his next words, the other one still holding tight to a guitar case. “‘You can’t have an opinion unless you’re y/n.’”

“That’s not what I meant, and you know it,” You guffawed. You watched his fingers flex around the handle of his case. You moved to stand close enough to point a finger into his chest. “And, excuse me, sir, but you’re the ‘tyrant’ that leaves the dumbass, asshole sticky notes!” 

“Wait,” he put one arm out, holding the door ajar, angling his head to eye you over the top of his glasses. “Are you calling me a dumbass, asshole, and sir?”

You flushed at the insinuation you knew he was implying by highlighting the term ‘sir.’ You probably should’ve thought it through before calling him that. “No, just an asshole.”

“You said dumbass, too,” he pushed his glasses down his nose, just enough to get a good look over them at you. His eyes sparkled mischievously at you. “And I definitely remember you saying sir.”

His burgundy T-shirt had risen up when he’d put his hand on the door, showing a portion of his toned, tan stomach. You had to glimpse it, but you didn’t keep your eyes there for long. You got back to the topic at hand.

“You know what I meant. Quit it,” you leered at him, trying to ignore the way he was looking at you. “And quit leaving the damn sticky notes. I’m tired of it.”

-🌼🌼🌼-

Another evening, you and Jake were both at home, and out of nowhere, he’d come out of his bedroom, and plopped onto the couch.

You’d already been there, reading a book, snuggled in a blanket with Stevie on your lap. “No practice?” you’d inquired, just barely looking up from the steamy page you were on in your romance novel.

He’d responded. “Hm mm,” and then asked, “Pizza?” 

And what should have been a calm conversation about ordering pizza actually ended in a full-blown argument about whether or not pineapple should go on pizza. 

Where the banter was usually a playful one between (normal) people, it ended with you seething on the couch over Jake’s stubbornness while he slammed the door to go grab the pizza.

-🌼🌼🌼-

When Jake came back, he begrudgingly asked you how many pieces you wanted.

You sassed your response back, and then he’d come into the living room carrying the pieces for you on a plate.

He’d sat down to eat with you, and you’d watched New Girl together.

It was odd how it felt so natural. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

Wednesday night, you watched New Girl together for like the fifth time. Jake had only sat at the far end of the couch that first night with the hallway incident. Every time since, he’d kept edging closer. Him moving down the couch had been gradual, but the closer he got, the butterflies would uncontrollably buzz in your tummy. 

On Wednesday, he’d been the closest so far, sitting on the middle cushion. He was right next to you.

He was so close to you that if you leaned just a bit to the right, you could touch his shoulder with your own. He kept his hands to himself, though, crossing his legs at the knee and his arms at his chest. You could smell the wonderful scent of his sandalwood-scented cologne. It made your head dizzy in the best way. As of late, you’d learned that Jake smelled absolutely amazing. 

As Schmidt irrationally yelled at his roommates for getting on his last nerve, you heard Jake snicker at him, and then clear his throat. You looked over at him and instinctively turned down the TV a couple notches. 

He’d done it a few times while watching the show. You found that every time he cleared his throat, he was about to make a comment about an episode to (seemingly) try a bit of small talk. You were not used to the small talk. It made you feel all jittery when it happened.

You were expecting a comment about Schmidt when he surprised you by sucking in a breath through his teeth and saying, “Only a few days. I can’t believe it, honestly,” he started. “I don’t know if Josh told you, but the guy who owns the place we’re performing at this weekend owns a few more popular bars. And  he told us if he thinks we’re good, he’ll set us up with another place of his for next weekend,” you saw him shake his head and scratch lightly at his forehead with his thumb. 

It was a little strange to you that he was talking to you about his own show, rather than the television show, but you were glad about it. He might’ve had moments of being nothing more than an irritant in your life, but you really did enjoy talking to him. It made you get this rush that started from your ears, and moved all the way down to your belly button. And the gig, in particular, was something he was obviously anxious to talk to someone about. And he’d chosen to talk about it with you. He wanted you to know about this thing that was big for him.

You scooted into the corner of the couch, just enough to turn to look at him. You tucked your feet up under you. “That would be incredible, Jake,” you gushed, your spirits obviously high for him. 

You couldn’t help but notice how his cheeks blushed. He gave you a small nod and grin that noticeably stretched his cheeks, “This is such an exciting time for me,” he looked back at the TV. “I’ve waited my whole life for this.” 

His arms were still crossed like he was concealing so much more of himself. It was funny because he’d just let you in on something so personal. It was ironic. Though, you knew he did have so much more that was hiding, just beneath the surface.

“So much more is to come,” you encouraged. “I’m sure of it. I told Josh that, too.”

He glanced at you and nodded again. “I hope so. I’d be on cloud nine.” He tuned in and looked at the television and let out a particularly throaty laugh at something funny Jess’d said. Your stomach flip-flopped. 

You turned back to the TV, assuming your conversation was over with. But he surprised you again. 

“You coming this weekend?” He inquired, sounding more enthused than you’d anticipate. He cleared his throat. His next words were a little more nonchalant, like he didn’t want to let anything on. “You know, for Josh and the other guys?”

You felt a weight in your chest at the idea that he might think you weren’t going for him. Because as much as you wanted to deny it, seeing Jake perform was one of the things you were most looking forward to. 

Everything about him had been so mysterious up until that point, and seeing him do what he loved most would be a peek inside of the man you lived with.

“Yeah, I’ll be there,” you peeked over, seeing that he had been waiting for your response. 

He stuck his bottom lip out, shaking his head in approval. “Cool.”

Essentially, it ended at that. But it was special to you that he’d thought to share even a small piece of his heart with you. It was more than he’d ever let you in on before.

You realized that the more you hung out with him, the more you were starting to let the animosity you felt for him fade.

-🌼🌼🌼-

It was a record player night of yours on Thursday of that week. You were playing The Beatles’ White Album limited edition re-release you’d gotten in that week at the Black and Gold. You had indulged yourself in getting it, The Beatles being your favorite band of all time. 

You were taking the time to clean up around the house when Jake had come through the living room, grabbing a notepad off the counter. He’d actually stopped on the way back to his room. You frowned, trying to decipher what he was doing. He was scribbling something into his notebook, stopping to think here and there.

You gave him a questioning look. “Lyrics?” 

He brought his Amber-brown eyes up to yours, coming out of his sort of daze. “Oh, uh, no,” he replied, tucking the small pad into the pocket of his jeans. “Setlist for Saturday. Josh asked me to work on it.”

You hummed and went about dusting the living room, as you had been doing previously. 

He kept walking to his room, but stopped once more to comment on how he liked The Beatles. 

“Especially Abbey Road. But this album’s fantastic, too,” your ears tuned in to the possible bonding moment. You were about to add in your own little thing about Lennon and McCartney, when he ruined it. “The Stones are still better, though. Far superior.” 

You felt heat prickle behind your ears and your head get fuzzy, the way your body would react every time you’d get defensive of something you love. The Beatles were your greatest musical love, besides Stevie Wonder. And he’d essentially also criticized your love of Stevie Wonder earlier that week, so you were done with his bullshit. 

“Shut the fuck up, Jacob,” you turned your back to him, going about your cleaning. 

“Oh, yeah, I forgot. I’m not allowed to speak my mind.”

You faced him sharply at that, and he raised a brow at your reaction, a smirk making the dimple in his cheek appear. He was testing you. 

“You know that’s not what I meant,” you retorted.

“Oh, I think that’s exactly what you meant,” he started walking towards you, and you stood your ground, waiting for what he’d do next. “You don’t like to hear what anyone else might have to say,” he stopped, a couple feet away from you, sitting on the arm of the couch. “You just like to hear the sound of your own voice.”

You sneered at him. Your heart was beating so quickly. “Get off the arm of the couch.”

He made no move to leave his spot. He crossed his arms and squinted at you. Then, he challenged with an, “Or what?”

You walked up to him. You were so close to him, his proximity was making you feel anxious. You were impressed by the sternness you heard in your own voice. “Just. Move.”

He set his head back, and raised both of his thick brows at you. The smirk still hadn’t left his face. You didn’t want to acknowledge the desire to both simultaneously slap and kiss the look off of his handsome face. 

He scoffed and moved off the arm. You thought you were about to be rid of him when he went ahead and sat on the cushion at the end closest to the arm he’d been sitting on. 

“What are you doing?” Why was he so intent on playing with you? 

“I’m sitting here while I wait for you to finish,” he waved a hand around, showing that he’d noticed what you’d been doing before. “Then we can watch our show.”

Our show. Your head buzzed at him calling it that while your stomach somersaulted. 

“I don’t—,” you reached a hand up to your forehead and rubbed the crinkle out from between your brows. “Don’t you have a setlist to finish?”

He lifted his ass a bit, and you watched the way the dark denim of his jeans stretched just right across his hips at the action. He reached into his back pocket, flipping the small notebook to the page he’d been on. He clicked his pen open. “I can do it while I wait.”

You glared at him, your heart still beating fiercely in your chest. 

Try as you might, even with as livid as he was making you feel in the moment, you really did enjoy the nights of watching the show together. You (very) secretly liked the way he was wanting to spend that time with you.  

You blew a frustrated breath out of your nose and growled when you turned around to finish cleaning. 

Damn him.

-🌼🌼🌼-

You shook awake at the feeling of Stevie pawing at your blanket. It was dark all around you, but the television was awake in front of you, the bright light glaring in the blackness of the room as Schmidt went on about CeCe being a model. 

Still halfway asleep, you reached down to bring the blanket that was around you closer to your chin. 

One of your brows wrinkled at the feeling of the blanket. You hadn’t put a blanket on. You softly reached a hand to feel at the material. It was the one you always kept on the back of the couch. 

Then, you finally came to the realization that there was a warm body underneath your sleep-laden body. In fact, your head was currently nestled against the softness of a cotton t-shirt.

You blinked your eyes open huge, but didn’t move right at first. You smelled the cologne on Jake’s shirt, and felt the rising and falling of his stomach. Dammit, he was so warm, and the position felt so. . .right?

Though, you couldn’t let yourself get trapped in that moment. Especially when you felt a hand come to rest on your waist. It felt too natural for it to be okay. 

Initially, you were going to try to be as sly as possible, as not to wake him. But it seemed your plan didn’t matter when you felt him slide the hand he’d put on you over the contours of your side.

He was awake. 

You noticed how he kept his hand resting at the spot on your waist even after he’d rubbed it over you. He smoothed his thumb (calloused, as you knew it would be) ever-so-gently over the exposed skin of your waist. Your heart thrummed.

“You awake?” He asked, his own voice raspy from sleep. Your skin prickled at the timbre of his tone. 

The darkness of the room hid your blush, but you worried that the contrasting brightness from the television would reveal it too soon. 

You shot up, trying not to care when his hand fell from your waist. You pushed the blanket off of you, and Stevie hopped off the couch in a frenzy. You knew she was about to get the zoomies from how fast you’d moved from your position. 

Standing up was slightly hard to do on legs that were still heavy from just having been in a deep sleep. But you gained your footing enough to turn and start folding the blanket where it went on the couch. You caught a glimpse of Jake rising from his spot on the couch, following your actions. He straightened some of the pillows that always nestled in the center of the couch.

After he did so, you noticed he was still standing next to the edge of the sofa. You went about turning the TV off and checking the door that you already knew was locked. 

You were trying to do anything to avoid contact with him. The wax burner that lit up on the kitchen bar was the only thing helping you know where you were, as to not accidentally bump into him. 

You were so much more nervous around him, feeling dumb for being in that situation. There really was no reason to be embarrassed as he had been right there in that moment with you, too. 

But how you’d situated yourself to sleep on him. . .you didn’t know how that had happened specifically. That was what made your skin prickle with worry for exposing any secret part of yourself. 

All you knew was it couldn’t happen again. 

There were certain things you absolutely couldn’t do with Jake. You didn’t want to cross the imaginary line you’d created. He needed to be focused on himself, and you needed to focus on yourself. 

Remaining only roommates seemed the only option in your head. It was safe. It was necessary for you both. 

“Y/n,” you felt Jake come up to your side and touch a hand to your arm. You stepped away as if you’d been burned, putting a few healthy feet between the two of you. “You okay?”

You shoved past him, heading to the kitchen counter to mindlessly straighten the key bowl for no reason. Afterwards, you went to grab a water bottle from the fridge, then continued to your room. Creating plenty of space between you was all you could think to do. 

Once you got to your door, you didn’t even turn to see him before you said, “Goodnight, Jake.” 

-🌼🌼🌼-

And, as fate would have it, the next morning, you woke up with your skin sticky with sweat. Jake had made yet another appearance in your subconscious. 

You sighed to yourself, getting the vibrator you’d ordered a week ago, out of your bedside drawer. 

You had barely admitted to yourself that you’d purchased it. You’d never in your life felt the need to use one. Your hand had always worked. 

But not with your Jake fantasies. No, you had to be relieved from this man in a much more vigorous way than just using a hand.

The way he interacted with your body in your dreams—it practically demanded the intensity of a toy. Your hand simply couldn’t do the trick. 

It should have irritated you that the nightly fantasies had become so frequent. But you found yourself more disappointed to wake up without having one, if you were being honest. 

You added some lube from your drawer’s stash to the end of it, placed it comfortably between your legs and flicked on the little buzzing device to a low speed.

You gradually let it run through your folds, just getting the feel to begin. But your clit hadn’t stopped throbbing from how Jake had been acting in your dream. 

In your sleep, he’d appeared above you, with his cock already pumping into you. The version of you in your dream had welcomed the sensation, it had felt familiar to you in that reality. Though, it had been the first time you’d ever felt dream-Jake have sex with you. So it was strange that it felt like a normal occurrence. . .but you didn’t even give that part a second thought. 

All you knew was it’d felt just about as good as dream sex could. You knew there was something missing that you could only get in real life, though. But, you had still reveled in how natural it felt for him to slide in and out, in and out. 

So now, in the present day, you realized just how ready you were for your release, as your dream-self hadn’t been able to reach that point of completion. You’d just been taking what he would give you, enjoying every minute and movement. 

There was even a sort of pattern he’d kept for the duration of the dream that’d felt delicious. He had kept edging and teasing you (and himself, honestly) to the point of near insanity. He’d pump his cock into you, and then slowly drag it back out. He’d even nudged at your aching bud with the head of it a few times, for good measure. 

Neither of you had finished. You now cursed at that version of him for being so desperate to edge you on. But man, had it ignited a fire in you. 

Your hips lifted off the bed as the buzzing hummed from its place, all the way up to your most aching area. You jostled a little at the feeling of it affecting you from its position, still far enough away that it shouldn’t have had an impact on your clit whatsoever. 

You couldn’t handle any more of the teasing, so you dragged it up until it sat at the side of your hardened nub. You closed your eyes at the sensation it brought, your whole body flaring with the itch that was about to be satisfied. You could feel it everywhere. You felt your clit flutter relentlessly, and you couldn’t help it when you whined, “Jake.” 

You instantly pulled the device away, pressing the button to turn it off.  

You caught your bearings the best you could, and internally scolded yourself. You had been trying so hard not to say his name after the first time. You still didn’t know if he’d heard you, but you’d assumed he totally had. The walls didn’t hold enough weight to keep your secrets. And he’d been way too cryptic when he’d left that day.

Your body continued to pulse below, reminding you that you hadn’t let yourself reach that point. You put the small machine back where it had been, and bit your lip as it buzzed back to life. You wanted to finish, but you couldn’t make a sound. 

You even took a chance and set the frequency a touch higher. 

Your eyes rolled back. You rubbed the head of it back through the wetness that had gathered at your folds. And then brought it back to the bud that cried for its attention. 

You pressed the machine right at the underside of your most delicate part, and flicked the setting up one more time. 

And within seconds, your hips shot off the bed, your toes dug into the covers, curling so tight as every nerve-ending came to life. 

Your eyes rolled all the way back in your head and you couldn’t help it when you shut your eyes to envision him. 

You had to see him, and if you let your lids close, you could see him above you, so sweaty. In your mind, his stomach was touching yours, the stickiness of sweat from his exertion making you feel one with him as your belly was just as damp. 

He looked down at you, his eyes holding an emotion you hadn’t seen from him yet in ‘real life.’ You could have cried at the relief the gaze of his brown eyes brought you. 

You felt your body starting to become overstimulated, and your heart was beating so fast. You had to open your eyes. 

You brought the vibrator away from yourself and pressed the button to turn it off, tucking it securely in the bedside drawer. 

The itch could be satisfied by a vibrator, yes, but you couldn’t help it when you imagined just how exhilarating it would feel if the dreams ever became reality. 

But you wouldn’t let yourself think that way for too long. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

Once you finished putting some new underwear on, and a pair of sweats with your big T-shirt, you ventured out into the hallway.  

You went to go brush your teeth and get ready for a morning run, hoping a sense of your old life would bring some normalcy to the rest of your day. 

Though, as soon as you exited your room, you stopped before you turned for the bathroom to see Jake in the kitchen. He wasn’t doing anything special. Just cooking some eggs—hopefully his, you thought snidely. 

You needed to avoid him after your little venture with dream-him in your bed. You told yourself that was mostly why you were hiding as you looked on from the passageway to the kitchen from the hallway. 

You didn’t know why you stood there and stared aside from the fact that Jake was incredibly easy to look at—easy to observe. You admittedly could take a few moments to look over the man who’d been your New Girl-watching partner for the past week. 

He was now preparing a cup of coffee. His chestnut waves caught gleams of light from the early morning sun, showing you some hidden colors in his hair. His light caramel-colored skin shone in the sun streams. 

You hid yourself a little more in the shadows when he turned just slightly. And when you could see his eyes, you noticed they became a sparkling, golden brown when he looked out the window to survey the city. 

Your angle was now perfect to see everything. You even saw beneath the open lapels of the purple button-down he was wearing, you could see his chest, rising and falling. You didn’t know how Jake’s pecs were so perfectly toned, but you’d taken note that there was almost always a necklace or two laying between them just right. 

And, then there were the black jeans he was wearing. And hot damn, if his round ass didn’t sit so well in the back of them. 

As Jake turned to get in the fridge, you made a silent escape to brush your teeth and officially start your day. You’d put that moment of surveying in the back of your mind where it belonged.

-🌼🌼🌼-

The bell rang on the door as you continued stocking the new shipment of vinyls for the B&G. You’d just passed the J’s, stocking a Janis Joplin record when you heard the slightest shuffle behind you. 

You turned around to see if it was a customer that needed help, only to find a man looking through the sale bins. You suddenly noticed that you’d definitely need to make a new “Last Chance!” sign to hang from the wooden crates. The old one was looking particularly grimy.

You mentally added that to a list in your brain.

You turned back to the shipment. You moved onto the K’s. As you moved, you checked out the Featured wall. You really did love the Featured Vinyl wall. 

And, as you looked over it, you saw the re-release Wheels of Fire vinyl you’d gotten in that day. Josh had taken it upon himself to use the ladder to hang all of the featured vinyl earlier in the day. You always enjoyed seeing what he chose to feature. It was his thing.   He’d left shortly after setting it up for some midday errands to prepare for the weekend’s impending event. 

Your eyes stayed on the record, and you hated that you thought of Jake the second you saw Josh hang it earlier. And you continued to be irritated by who it made you think of most. You did not need to be thinking about him so much. 

You shook your head as if to rid yourself of the thoughts that were seeming to overtake you more often than not these days. You just wanted peace. And you’d essentially had none since the day Jake had moved in. 

“Excuse me.” 

You felt a slight shift against your hip and moved over to the side, not even looking over to the person. You assumed it was the guy who had been rifling through the sale bin. You moved over, giving him space to peruse. 

“No worries, man,” you said.

Though, you now heard him clear his throat. You looked to him, assuming he needed help. 

When you looked up, you were met with a slightly smarmy close-mouthed grin. It would make you recoil and avoid the person at all costs in a normal situation, but you couldn’t do that since you were at work. 

You slapped on a shit-eating-customer service-grin. 

“May I help you?” 

He cleared his throat again, and then he rubbed the back of his neck. “Well. I just wanted to ask you a question.” 

You raised your eyebrow, as if to say: And that is? 

He teetered forward on his feet, bringing you both in closer proximity to each other. You would’ve backed away, if you hadn’t suddenly come back to back with the R&B bins when you had turned to talk to him. The old wood of the bins creaked as you wedged in as close as you could to them. 

You kept your eyebrow raised in question, not letting your guard down.

“I’ve been coming here for a long time,” he said. “And when you started working here a few years back, I just had to start coming in more to see your pretty face.”

You felt your stomach churn. You didn’t like this. Though, you did notice him as a regular you’d come across on more than one occasion. He was near your age, but he made you feel completely unsafe. From the way he was looking at you, you didn’t have the best inkling about this conversation. The way this man leaned in, not respecting your apparent want for personal space—it was gross.

But, you weren’t afraid to shoot a guy down. You’d done it multiple times before. 

“Listen, dude, I—,” you began. 

He only stepped closer, cutting you off. You felt closed in. And, you tried not to let it show, but you kind of felt your edge fall. This was getting to be too much. 

“I-I-I’ve been working up the nerve to tell you that,” he continued. “For a long time. But you’re always in here with that cotton ball head.”

You felt personally offended on Josh’s behalf. Cotton ball head? 

And, of course this fucker would advance on you when Josh was gone to run an errand. Had he been watching for the moment Josh left? He had to have been. Hm. That wasn’t unnerving at all.

“Well, I appreciate your honesty and plainness, but I have to—.”

“Please, just let me take you out once?” 

As if to test the space, he stepped once more into you, cramming you into the crates uncomfortably. His hands gripped the wooden bins you could feel making dents in your back. His arms were effectively trapping you in. It all caused you to stumble back on the heels of your white boots. Thanks to the short skirt you’d decided to wear that day, you could feel the denim of his acid wash jeans against your exposed thighs.

Well. 

This man was turning out to be more difficult than you’d initially anticipated. You kept your eyes steady on the tie-dye print of his Sublime band tee. You didn’t want to look into his bloodshot, bug eyes again.

“Look, I’m really very sorry, but I can’t—.”

“Just one date.” He was starting to sound more stern, more threatening than you liked at all. 

You hadn’t heard the bell above the door ding the presence of someone new in the distance. All you could hear were the muffled sounds of your music in the background. It felt as if each of your ears was stuffed full of cotton. 

Your stomach churned in on itself again. You knew it was the result of the building anxiousness and alarm in this instance. It intensified when a pale hand lifted to touch your arm. Your skin was crawling. But, before it could touch you, it was harshly slapped away. The man’s arms both fell from around you.

Thank God. Josh was back.  

“You don’t touch her.” 

That wasn’t Josh’s voice. 

You looked to your left to see Jake. 

He was wearing a pair of sunglasses. The skin on his face and exposed chest was a warm glow of light brown. Within these small details of him, you’d recently come to find a sense of comfort. And every beautiful detail of him seemed to be on full display for you to admire. 

He had situated himself to be right next to you. He was ready to help you in any way you may need.

You tried to deny it, but in this situation all you felt was peace in the fact that he was here. 

Under normal circumstances, you probably would’ve rolled your eyes at him for interrupting something you were doing.

Though, in this situation, your growing understanding of Jake, combined with your natural human reaction to feeling protected in a scary situation — it made you want to fall into his arms and not let go.

You felt yourself gravitate towards him. Your shoulder came to touch his exposed chest. It sent a sweet shiver down your spine to be close to him. You could feel the cool metal of a couple of his necklaces on your bare bicep. 

It felt incredibly safe.

The customer was slightly taller than Jake, but you’d learned that Jake naturally gave off big dick energy. There was no other way to explain how Jake carried himself with such confidence. 

And, as you were witnessing at that moment, he apparently knew how to be very intimidating when he needed to be, too. 

That was one more thing you could add to the growing mental list of differences between him and his twin. The mysterious darkness that consistently loomed over Jake could help him be daunting and mysterious when he needed to be. Whereas, Josh’s sunshine-y, peaceful, and open-hearted nature just wouldn’t dare allow him that ability. 

“Listen, man, I was just asking—,” the man attempted.

“I don’t give a shit what you were asking her. You aren’t asking anything anymore.”

You felt a heat rise in you at his authoritarian attitude. It was hot as hell. 

The guy’s chest puffed. He seemed equal parts scared and indignant. The creepy guy wasn’t so creepy anymore as his bug eyes grew at Jake’s naturally intense presence. 

Because, the more you looked at him, you noticed the indignance seemed to be a mask for his fear. The guy had a slight shake in his lanky shoulders. 

You felt a warm arm that smelled like Jake pull your body further into his chest, away from the man in the Sublime shirt. Your golden sunflower necklace was now touching his own necklaces as your exposed cleavage touched the warm skin of his chest. His arm was still around you. You could make a cocoon in that place. 

Jake’s voice was stern with his next words. You felt them vibrate from his chest into yours, and into your ear nearest him.

“Get your fucking ass out of here,” Jake released himself from around you, and you instantly missed the closeness. Though, he used the new position to put an arm behind, shielding you from the man as he stepped between you and the tie-dye-guy, pointing a finger in the man’s face. “I don’t want to hear her ever speak of seeing you again. And she will let me know if she sees your sorry ass in here again. I can guarantee it because she sees me day in, and day-fucking-out. It’s a perk to living with a person. Don’t let it happen. I better not hear her say a damn thing about your ass.”

The guy held both hands up, as if to defend himself. He tried to maintain confidence, but his eyes held uncaged fear. 

Jake brought himself back around you, his arm around your waist this time. You didn’t know what had overtaken him to act so protective of you, but you weren’t upset over it at all.

You completely welcomed it. 

As your heated chest touched Jake’s own, you didn’t dare look to your rescuer. 

You distracted yourself by watching the man flee through the store. This store that had become your safe place for the past couple of years. You decided in that moment that you wouldn’t let some stranger take that safe feeling of the store from you. 

As soon as the green tie-dye shirt was no longer in sight, your senses came back to you. And rather than recoil from Jake, you only sunk further into him. You liked the safety. You softly put your head on his shoulder and you felt his hand come up to massage your neck as your head laid there. You saw stars at the sensation of his practiced hand. You briefly wondered what else the hand could do. 

Suddenly, the realness of your proximity to Jake was taking over. The warmth of your chests together became unbearable. You quickly stepped back from him, making a decent space between the two of you. 

You wanted to give him the biggest hug of thanks. You wanted to continue to wrap your arms around him until you felt like you were a part of him. He’d made you feel so secure. Hell, you wanted to give him a kiss of gratitude for stepping in when he did.

But you didn’t do any of that. 

Instead, you did your thing and pushed down any and all emotion you could possibly feel about Jake Kiszka. You remembered your annoyingly persistent looming thoughts of him from the past couple months and pushed them all away. You pushed those thoughts way down to the bottoms of your feet. 

He was still Jake. He was an asshole eighty percent of the time.  This situation and the few others as of late wouldn’t change that fact. 

And you wouldn’t dare allow any true emotion of yours to show in front of him. 

You brushed down your green floral skirt. You ran a finger at the hem of it as it touched your thigh, trying something else to gain a new sense of peace. It scarcely compared to how Jake had made you feel.

You couldn’t meet his eyes. You could feel him watching you. Your heart beat would not slow. 

You chose to look at his hair. You watched as he brushed a hand through his long waves. You noticed it still looked wet from a shower. 

You started thinking of him running his fingers through it to wash it. The soapy suds covering his fingers. The water trickling down his back and over his ass. The water that then traveled down his legs to pool at the bottom of the shower that you two shared. The same shower that he would wash his beautiful hair and body in… the same one you also stood in to wash yourself—. The thought got you all worked up for unexplainable reasons.

Stop thinking of Jake in the shower, y/n. Stop thinking of the fact that you share a shower. Stop it.

He pushed his sunglasses up, pushing his hair back with them. 

You didn’t want to talk about how your eyes trailed to his bare chest of their own accord, noticing his silky purple button-up that he’d rolled almost to his elbows. You noticed a couple pronounced veins in his arms, as he pushed his hands into the pockets of his jeans. He wasn’t tall, but you had this feeling he was stronger than he let on. 

And dear God, you did not let that thought wander.

When you finally flicked your eyes up to his, you felt your body flush even more with the concerned look that painted his features. He was watching you carefully, his eyebrows turned in as he observed you.

Though, you wouldn’t let yourself give in to any emotion you were tempted to show. You stood straighter, and when you spoke, your tone was much sharper than you wanted it to be.

“I could have handled that on my own.”

His eyebrows reflexed and shot up. He put on a new demeanor and scoffed. “Oh. Yeah?”

You tucked a lock of hair behind your ear that had fallen from your hair clip. “Fuck you, Jake. You know I could have,” you shook your head. “I didn’t need your help.”

He shook his head, seemingly in an act of disbelief for your words.

“You are so fucking impossible,” he said. “You can’t even say thank you when someone helps you out.”

He had a point. You could have said thank you. It was the least you could do to be polite. But, no. No emotions. Ridiculously, a thank you seemed too personal. 

And yes, you really did realize how juvenile that sounded when you thought it.

“Telling you ‘thank you’ would feel oxymoronic,” you stated, putting down the air quotes your hands had made for words ‘thank you’. “With all of the other shit you’ve done since you oh-so-gracefully entered my life? Yeah, I’m not going to tell you thank you for one act of heroism that didn’t even need to happen.”

He seemed genuinely amazed, with both brows raised high. You chose to not think of how your words might’ve stung.

He stared at you for a minute longer, an emotion was sitting in his eyes that you couldn’t quite place. 

“Tell Josh I left the line-up for Saturday on the counter,” he’d quickly, shortly stated the words in a way that was unfamiliar from past quarrels. He sounded. . .hurt?

And before you could say another word, his form was storming out of the store. The bell rung for the fourth time that day. Though, this time, the chime made you flinch. 

Had that seriously been hurt you’d seen in his eyes and heard in his tone? How did he even have the right to feel hurt by you?

The growl that escaped your mouth was definitely immature. But, he was the impossible one. You huffed and turned on your heel back to the vinyls you’d been so rudely cut off from stocking.

-🌼🌼🌼-

“Y/n,” Josh called to you from the counter. 

You sighed exasperatedly as you responded, “Yes, Joshua?” 

You wished you were simply being dramatic with the sigh you’d loudly released. But, your back hurt from being on your feet, stretching over bins all day. And, you were still feeling icky about the situation concerning the Sublime, tie-dyed regular from earlier.

And then there was Jake—who hadn’t seemed to leave your thoughts from the moment he’d walked out earlier in the day. 

You turned to Josh after you placed a Minnie Riperton record securely in its spot. 

You swiftly kicked the last empty cardboard box from the shipment up towards the front of the store. 

Josh knelt down to grab it as it seemed to slide right into his awaiting hand. 

He’d returned from his errand about an hour ago. The sun had been setting when he’d returned. You were borderline salty with him for being gone so long. But, you knew you were more happy for him than anything. He was finally seeming to go through the motions of making this passion of his and Jake’s a reality. 

As you walked towards the counter, you noticed he was pointing at something with a stupidly smug grin on his face. Your eyebrows crinkled as your eyes met what he was pointing at. You suddenly saw a small, potted, lavender plant sitting atop the counter. 

That was new. 

You rounded the opposite side of the counter from Josh. He was flattening the final box you’d sent his way, giving you an eye. You had seen the look he was giving before. It was the one that always seemed to say ‘I told you so.’

As you got behind the counter, you could feel his eyes burning into your skull. 

You hesitantly inspected the plant at first, but then saw the note that was tucked underneath it. 

Just thought this would look nice in our apartment :)

-Jake

Your heart leapt into your throat. It sat uncomfortably there for a moment too long. Guilt seemed to erupt in your chest as your heart plummeted back into it. The smiley face at the end set the guilt in even deeper.

The bell hadn’t dinged since Jake had aggressively pushed the door open to leave in his haste earlier. The store had been empty since, save for yourself and the soul music that had floated through the speakers all day. 

He had brought this little plant with him earlier. And you’d effectively chewed him out for no reason whatsoever.

Well, not for no reason, you reassured yourself. There was reason. There were reasons aplenty.

But, he could have at least gotten a thank you. And you hadn’t even tried to offer him that. 

Jake’s normally aggravating behavior was undoubtedly outweighed by your own unfair behavior today. 

He’d defended your honor and brought you a plant out of the blue. 

And you’d all but dismissed him.

Your stomach fluttered a little at that. He had defended you and thought about you upon seeing a lavender plant. The same plant you’d been wanting in the apartment. And he hadn’t just thought of you when he saw it, but he’d thought to bring it to you as a gift. 

And you hadn’t even given him a chance.

Not a thank you. For anything.

Well, shit.

-🌼🌼🌼-

As you waved goodbye to Josh from the driver’s seat in your car after work, you jetted off to your apartment. 

You were ready to get home and talk to Jake about how sorry you felt. You wanted to set things straight and maybe help him in enforcing this sort-of peace offering. There wasn’t one part of you that wanted to constantly be at odds with him. Being friends with him would be great. You couldn’t help it that you possibly wanted more, but you didn’t want to cross a boundary. 

It just seemed that he was ready to make this new adjustment to your relationship by being friendly, and you were ready to put your pride down for it. 

You also wanted to offer a thank you for the gift of the plant that you’d placed securely in the cup holder of your Jetta.

-🌼🌼🌼- 

You’d barely even graced the threshold of your entryway when you noticed him. 

Except, it was not at all a sight you wanted to see when you got home. 

Jake was blatantly breaking a rule. 

What was happening in front of you was the last thing you wanted to see, honestly. 

You couldn’t take your eyes away from him as he laid on top of a girl in your living room. On the couch you’d just fallen asleep on with him the night before. 

You were mad that he broke a rule, yes, but that was not the first thought that entered your mind. 

You were shocked by the sudden burning feeling of jealousy. Your chest was tight. Why were you jealous? You couldn’t stand this man. Yes, he’d appeared in a few of your dreams because he was sexy as hell. You virtually had no romantic feelings for him. . . Right? 

So why were you so obviously envious of this random girl that was lying on your couch with a man you had only grown to despise? 

The disheveled look of his hair made your stomach roll in a way you wished it didn’t. 

His shirt was completely open, his entire chest showing, heaving. And the same necklace that had pressed to your own earlier that day was now dangling between his chest and the woman below him. She actually went to grab it as you watched, pulling him closer to her.

Your left hand gripped so tightly to the potted lavender, it was almost enough to crack the terra-cotta. 

The woman was strikingly beautiful. . . and suddenly every insecurity you’d ever felt about yourself came into your head. You didn’t look a thing like this woman. 

This woman looked like a model, a certified bombshell. Her eyelids naturally drooped, the pupils of her big, blue eyes, blown wide, and her already-big lips were completely swollen. 

You wanted to vomit. You wanted to cry. You felt tears burning the brim of your eyes. 

You weren’t even sorry when your tone sounded so overtly snarky. Though, what you weren’t prepared for was the sound of tears in your throat, “Unbelievable.” 

You caught his eyes and the look you shared held so much weight. But why? Why was this suddenly tense for more reasons than just irritation that he was disrespecting the rules?

Why was the look in his eyes making your heart flutter? 

Had your appreciation for him grown past simply admiring the way he looked? Grown past the dreams that you thought had only been about the fucking? They’d been nothing more than that. Ugh. . . Right?!

The tears started making your eyelids feel heavy and you raced to her bedroom before you could chance him looking any deeper into your eyes. 

You didn’t want him to see you like this— possibly know the wave of thoughts and emotions you couldn’t even begin to understand. 

You didn’t have a clue where to begin with what you were feeling. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

For about 20 minutes, you glared at the plant that now sat on your dresser. You had reverted to anger, you refused to let any tears fall. 

You didn’t want to think any more about anything. You decided maybe just going to bed was the best option. 

Trading your work clothes for sweats and a ratty cropped t-shirt, you observed your bum-like appearance. But, you couldn’t care less what you looked like. All worries were getting pushed down for the evening.

When you went to open the door to brush your teeth, there was a knock on the other side of it. You blinked at the sound, but your hand stayed on the knob. You knew who it probably was on the other side. And you didn’t want to mess with him. 

Jake’s voice could be heard through the wood of the door, your assumption confirmed. “Y/n, you okay?” He asked it so delicately. It caught you off guard.

You only scoffed under your breath, not wanting to mess with his bullshit. His words didn’t need to be acknowledged with a response. He asked you again, and you still didn’t say a word. 

Standing there and ignoring him until he was gone seemed to be the best decision. He’d leave eventually.

You heard him sigh. He persisted,  “I just want to talk to you.” 

Glaring at where you imagined him to be  behind the door, all you responded with was: “No.” 

Jake sighed again, and his tone was still soft with his next question. “Why?” 

You removed your hand from the knob, and put your back against the door. You crossed your arms in defiance to him. “Fuck, Jake. I just don’t want to talk to you.” Your tear ducts welled with silent tears, much too close to falling. You couldn’t get the image from earlier out of your mind; you didn’t want to be talking to him about anything right now. Hearing his voice just made your throat feel tight. “Is that so hard to understand?!”

“What did I even do?” He uttered it so quietly, you barely heard it, muffled through the door. You were taken aback that he sounded a little sad when he said it. 

But you weren’t having it, not pitying him in the slightest. You didn’t believe this whole performance he was putting on: one where he could possibly care. He’d proven today that he could change his course of action pretty damn quickly if he wanted. 

All in the matter of a few hours, Jake had taken measures to soften your heart to him. Bringing the plant and helping you combat the predatory man had been great for you. You thought now that you could have finally been seeing him for the man he truly was. 

But then he’d been the one to harden it to stone all over again. He had totally sidetracked and betrayed you by having a woman on your sofa. 

Well, he hadn’t really betrayed you, per se, but the rules which you’d created. But it’d felt so much more personal. You were sure what you’d been feeling had been envy and resentfulness towards that woman on your couch.

But it wasn’t even her fault, it was your damned roommate’s. 

“Is she gone?” 

“She’s gone,” he replied.

You turned on your heel, and yanked the door open to face him. 

He had been much nearer than you were expecting. When you exited the bedroom, you were so close, you were almost touching him. 

You spared no time.

“For starters, I saw you breaking a big ass rule, Jake. You had a girl laid on her back with your tongue in her mouth. . .in the living room!” You placed a hand on his chest and pushed him back. You took your hand away just as soon, hating how warm and velvety his bare chest felt to touch. Thanks to the woman from earlier, there were even more buttons undone than usual. “That’s not the type of shit I wanna walk in and see after a long ass day like today.”

He moved for you, not fighting it. He cast his eyes down, looking sincere when he muttered, “I’m sorry. I get that it wasn’t okay.” 

You hated how he seemed so calm and cool. It was crazy how he was putting on an act to make you think he was actually sorry. You didn’t believe his sentiment for a second. “Cut the act, Jake. Don’t be one way out there,” you motioned in the direction of the living room. “And then a completely different way right here.”

But all he did was stand there and apologize again. And this time? He had the audacity to look you in the eyes when he said sorry.

Your heart was racing. You couldn’t believe how well he could put this on. “Don’t apologize when you don’t mean it.”

“You don’t get to tell me whether or not I mean something I’m saying, y/n,” he corrected.

Your cheeks burnt at his tone, “I’m not trying to tell you if you —.” 

“You literally just told me I didn’t mean my apology,” he closed his eyes briefly and ran a hand through his hair. The Amber-brown of his irises was steely when they opened, holding yours when he snapped, “You’re not allowed to tell me what I mean and what I don’t.”

“Well, I’m confused, Jake. I just don’t get it,” you snapped right back.

“Get what exactly? How I could maybe, actually be a decent human being? It’s like you’ve made up your fuckin’ mind that I’m a terrible person.” 

You bit the inside of your cheek, and grinned at him sarcastically. It honestly astounded you that he could be so dense. 

“First of all, I’d be entitled to think you’re an asshole with the shit you’ve said, the way you’ve acted. You’ve been inconsiderate from day one,” you held up a finger to show the number and then used it to jab into his chest. “And you just love to break every rule possible with women. I can’t even begin to process,” you ran both hands through your hair, and closed your eyelids to stabilize yourself. “But you also bring me a fucking plant to work? What in the hell was that anyway?” 

“I heard you and Josh talking about it, and thought it was the least I could do for being such an ass,” he sighed. “I know I haven’t been myself, but I’ve just been—.”

“Don’t just spout shit off,” you should have let him finish. You’d been waiting on him to open up for a while, but you weren’t in the mood right now. It took a second for the other piece of his response to sink in. “And I knew you were eavesdropping on that conversation!” 

He grit his teeth. “I wasn’t fucking eavesdropping,” he rubbed the back of his thumb against his forehead. His chest was heaving. “Don’t make me sound like a creep. I just used what I’d overheard to do something nice for you, and you can’t even appreciate it.” 

“Quite frankly, I did appreciate it, but I came home to— you know what? Nevermind,” you went to turn back into your room. “I’m going to bed. I’ll wait to—.”

“No.” 

You stopped in your tracks and faced him yet again. “No?” You were fuming. You were so tired of this. “So now you’re telling me what to do?”

“All I want is for you to say what you’re thinking,” he leveled, seeming just as vexed as you.

You shook your head and tucked a lock of hair behind your ear, “I don’t want to.” You were being stubborn, you knew that. 

“This is what I meant earlier. You’re fucking impossible. I don’t understand how the hell you can get your panties in such a wad over literally nothing. Things like post-it notes and me slightly breaking these fuckin’ rules,” he groaned frustratedly. “It’s like your only emotion is this annoyance—this irritation directed only towards me. You barely show any other emotion. I can’t keep up with you only ever being angry at me,” the muscle in his jaw clenched. “God. Impossible is the only word for it.”

“My only emotion?! That’s just peachy, Jake. You’re the one who— it’s the fact that you have always— no! I’m not talking to you about this,” you barely turned when he grabbed your arm lightly in his grasp, stopping you as you were about to walk away. 

“Yes you are. Just tell me what’s going on in your head. Please,” he practically begged. “Give me some insight, dammit.”

Why was he so desperate to know? He was just insisting on you opening up so he could continue to push your buttons, you were sure of it. 

“Quit acting like you wanna know so badly.” 

“I brought you a fucking plant today, y/n. And I  got that dickhead to lay off of you. I was fuckin’ seething when I saw him cornering you,” he was still holding your arm, and at this point, you didn’t want to move it. Your heart fluttered at his words. Seething? “Obviously I care about you and what you’re thinking. Tonight was stupid, but it was just a little rule that got broken,” his palm was warm, and his thumb was making little shapes on your skin. 

You couldn’t argue all of his points, so you settled on the thing that started all of this. You replied, your voice quiet, “It’s not just a rule.” 

“Then what is it?” He inquired, so gently.

You were completely overheated, heart hammering so hard you could hear every beat washing through your ears. This was too much. You didn’t want to let him in. 

So, you yanked your arm out of his grasp, trying to escape the impending admission you didn’t want to say out loud. Then, you tried to make it inside your bedroom, away from Jake. Being around him was making your heart pound. You couldn’t trust it. 

You did make it to your room. But, just as you were about to shut your door, Jake placed his hand inside of it so you couldn't. He held it open, his arm above you was not doing anything good for your senses. You liked the feeling of him being all around you, but you felt like you needed to hate it. You didn’t know what to feel.  “It’s nothing, Jake. Shit. Go to bed.”

“Y/n.” 

“It’s just—I’m tired of there being all of these women in my apartment. In my old bedroom. You know your bedroom? Yeah, used to be mine,” you were starting to ramble, so you got back on track. “Um, on my couch. The same couch we’ve sat on to watch our show together almost every night this week,” you put both hands over your eyes, leaving them there with what you said next. “I just can’t stand seeing you with other women, and I hate the possibility of hearing you with other women . . . in my home, no less.” 

You’d said what you were thinking, your words had just rolled off of your tongue. You were absolutely biting the bullet by saying any of that. You didn’t know what possessed you to say those things. 

You really didn’t want him to know any of that. . . .Or did you?

He stood there, his arm still above you, his exposed chest was so close. He was so close. His wonderful cologne seeped into your senses. 

You didn’t break eye contact, even after he pondered, “What are you trying to say?” 

“I don’t fucking know. Nothing. Ignore it, Jacob.”

You tried to push the door closed, but he kept a firm hand on the inside of it, not letting it close just yet. Your skin prickled, but you took that moment to let yourself admire his deep, brown irises that hadn’t looked away from you during your confession. You loved the way the sharpness of his jaw accentuated the way it clenched. You observed the muscle as it moved, for maybe a moment too long. 

You couldn’t think of anything else to do except step in his direction. His breathing stilled for a millisecond, but he took the chance to curve his body to be a sort of shield around you. You touched your chest to the lower part of his. You felt your cheeks heat pink at the proximity. 

But, as soon as you did it, you backed away. You couldn’t take it. He was intoxicating. What were you doing?!

“I’m just upset. I don’t know!” You moaned. “Maybe I’m a little jealous. What are you gonna do about it?!” 

His beautiful brown eyes raked over your figure, making goosebumps cover every piece of your skin. 

Jake slowly moved his arm off the door. Then, he grabbed your waist, one hand at a time. His hands were warm when they wrapped around the bare skin at your midriff, exposed by the crop top. He looked in your eyes briefly, the moment completely frozen. Your combined breathing was all you could hear. 

Then, he met your lips with his. 

You faintly whimpered at the feeling. His lips were so soft. Fuck. He wasn’t even using his tongue yet, letting only his lips do the work. He pushed his bottom lip through the middle of yours. 

He backed you both into your bedroom, never coming up for air. When the backs of your knees finally hit the end of your mattress, you moved to breathe. You stared intently at his lips, swollen from kissing you. Then you moved your eyes up, where his own were already waiting for yours to meet his. 

This undisclosed moment seemed to be a chance to meet each other for the first time all over again.

You sat down on the bed, and Jake sat next to you. It felt like you were a teenager, still learning what it meant to be so near to someone in a new way. 

But he didn’t let it stay that way for long. He placed one steady hand against your cheek, your hair falling over it. He cradled your face and then kissed you again. 

You angled your body to make it a little easier for you both. It wasn’t long until he was doing the same, except he was better, smoother at the transition than you had been. He moved you up the bed, ever so slowly. His lips staying on yours to whole time. 

However he moved his body, you did the same until he was positioned above you with his arms and wavy locks acting as a cover for your head from the outside world. 

You pulled away for a second and situated your back to lean against a few pillows at your headboard, giving yourself some height and him some leverage. 

Everything was Jake at that moment. And truly, you wouldn’t have had it any other way. 

You took a little while just to look at the man above you, admiring how beautiful he truly was. He was like a piece of art that was so intricate in its strokes that you couldn’t pull your eyes away.

He slipped one leg between both of yours, adjusting his weight to settle halfway on the mattress and halfway on you. He started kissing your neck, eliciting a sigh from you. His lips felt so purposeful against your skin. He finally let his tongue sweep against the side of your neck. 

“Fuck, you taste sweet,” his voice was the raspiest you’d ever heard it. Your legs shook just a little at the sound. 

Then, you felt something against your hip, and you knew exactly what it was. You angled away slightly and looked up at him. His eyes were so dark when he said, “That’s what you do to me.” 

You flushed at his words, your heart pumping quickly. All you wanted to do was move your body to rub against it, so you did just that. He released a low growl at the feeling. 

“Y/n, dammit,” he sighed, his breath warm against where it was on your neck. “You don’t wanna do that.”

So, you did it again. This time, you did the motion just a little more deliberately, letting your hip grind into it.  

Still kissing your neck, he nipped at you, holding his teeth there for a few long seconds. 

He met your movements and pushed his hard dick in slow circles against you. It made your breath catch in your throat, and your eyes roll back.

“Jake,” you moaned. 

His face came up to yours, and he took that time to find your lips again. This time, he slipped his tongue into your mouth. You whined at the feeling and you used your own tongue to find his. 

He sucked on your upper lip, while his tongue came out to lick the underside of it. You could only imagine his mouth in another place as he continued to draw your lips to his. Your clit twitched.

He groaned into your mouth, and you dazedly opened your eyes to get a look at his face. His were still closed, and his eyebrows were furrowed in concentration. 

It was one of the most attractive sights you’d ever seen. He seemed so focused, so intent on his task. It made you squirm in the best way.

He placed his body completely over you now. He settled himself right on top of you, his hips connecting with your own. The feeling of his firm cock against your clothed pussy was fucking amazing. He rolled his hips down into yours, making you whine the loudest you had so far. You saw a knowing smirk grace his features, and he did it again. The friction was just right against the growing wetness in your pants. 

He kept his arms on either side of you, but stopped his teasing to move down just slightly to lift your shirt up. 

You raised your arms for him, and he took it off. The bralette you’d worn that day was still on, and he didn’t make a move to take it off of you. He did, however, bite his lip as soon as he saw your pink, hardening nipples through the nearly transparent lace. 

“Your tits are just as pretty as I knew they’d be,” he said, seeming to actually be in awe of your body. 

You felt his words everywhere, and your breasts responded to him by your nipples growing to an even firmer peak.

His hand covered your right breast, over the heated flesh and the thin material of the bra. His hand felt incredible touching you like this. 

He lightly squeezed, and rubbed a thumb over your nipple. He kneaded your breast, which earned a pleased sigh from you. 

Then, he skimmed the same hand over the other breast, giving it the same treatment. Except this time, he placed his mouth below your jaw, licking a line from your chin to right below your ear. Your toes curled at feeling him in two different places on your body. 

The sensation that came with being so close to him was exhilarating. His hands floated from their position on your body, skimming down your sides. His body moved with his hands until his mouth was at your belly button. He licked around it, and then delicately kissed your stomach, right below.  

“And I love your soft belly,” he breathed, then he went even further. 

And finally, he was right next to the place that wanted his mouth most. Your body thrummed, your skin flamed at him being so near to your most secret place. 

And at that moment, as you felt your folds pulse, impatient waiting for him. . . It all set in what was happening. 

You blinked a few times to bring yourself back to reality. This couldn’t happen. This was not at all what should’ve been happening. 

“Jake, stop,” you choked out and looked up at the ceiling. You couldn’t let yourself look at him anymore for fear of not letting him stop if you do. 

And he had to stop.

You didn’t want to move, truly, but you knew you had to. You edged up the bed, away from him. 

And when you glanced down momentarily, he looked completely dejected, but stayed in the place he’d been before. It made your heart hurt.

“Wh-what?” He frowned, trying to understand the situation. 

But you couldn’t wrap your mind fully around it, so you looked back at the ceiling and placed a hand over your eyes.  

“Just go, please,” you suddenly felt tears brimming, and just like earlier, you didn’t want him to see. “Go.” 

“Y/n,” he tried. You felt his hand lay against your calf, but you pulled your body away from his touch. 

“Go, Jake!” You replied, admittedly too harsh.

And just as a tear slipped down your cheek, you heard the door to your bedroom slam shut.

-🌼🌼🌼- 

The following morning wasn’t a happy one as you laid in bed. You hadn’t had a dream come to you. Your sleep had consisted of tossing and turning, never able to get fully comfortable.

You were being taunted by your thoughts, contemplating everything that’d happened recently. All of the small things, and last night’s event. . .

Currently, your mind was all the way back at your first meeting— when you’d seen him that first night with Josh, the way he’d lured you in instantly. 

Then, you thought of the dreams that came so often. . . And the way he pissed you off constantly. 

Though, at the back of your mind were these small, sacred incidents.

There was the ‘thank you’ he’d offered on game night, so many weeks ago. You still didn’t know why he’d decided to say thank you. He hadn’t had to say that. He sure hadn’t done so until that point.

The night he ordered and picked up the pizza after your argument, and still wanting to sit with you and eat it after you’d berated each other about pizza toppings. 

Then, when he’d started spending some nights with you on the couch, watching New Girl. You’d noted how his proximity to you continually grew as the nights went by. The blush on his cheeks when you’d told him you were excited with him, the grin that would come on his whole face when he talked about his music. 

The night before last when you’d accidentally fallen asleep in the middle of an episode, your head having somehow landed on his stomach. He hadn’t moved you, only nudged you awake gently, not being forceful, how his voice had been soft. 

The way he’d stayed to look at your nearly-naked body in the hallway that one night. The way you’d had the time to appreciate his sharp features, the curves of his body. It made your cheeks warm to think of how you two had unabashedly stood there appreciating each other’s bodies.

Then, there was the defending you in the record store that you’d genuinely appreciated. And you hadn’t had the decency to say thank you. What if you had? Would the display on the couch have welcomed you home? Would you have ended up with him in your bed? 

Yet, somehow the plant was the action of his that stuck out the most to you. It seemed so personal. It was a sweet thought that he hadn’t needed to act on, but he still decided to. 

Your heart fluttered as you thought of all of these things. He really wasn’t the worst guy. Yeah, he had a tendency to be a massive jerk, but how much of that stemmed from his past hurt?

Last night was a kicker. Your dreams had been so close to coming to life when you made out. Your lips had touched his, you’d felt his dick against your side. . . he’d been so close to you. You were sure you’d never be able to forget the feeling of him against you, with you. And oh, and the way his hands had held your breasts. He’d known exactly what he was doing.  

But, ultimately, you had crossed a line you had told yourself you wouldn’t. One, Josh was your best friend (besides your sister, of course) and if something happened between you and Jake, and it went wrong, you didn’t want to chance losing Josh. 

You also didn’t want to be another woman in Jake’s life who could possibly destroy his dream by getting in the way of it. You had to admit, you cared too much about him to let that happen. 

You ultimately made the decision that maybe it was best to avoid Jake for awhile. 

The sound of your phone buzzing came from your bedside table, interrupting your train of thought. You grabbed it, seeing who could be texting you. Thankfully, it was only Elsie. 

Elsie, 8:59 a.m.: Meet somewhere to find outfits for tonight?

You groaned, and held a hand to your forehead. The show was tonight. You blew out a breath. It had been the farthest thing from your mind since last night’s event. 

Fuck.

Going to the gig didn’t seem like the best idea. You didn’t want to be that close to Jake so soon after last night. You weren’t sure what might happen.

You needed to make it clear to him that you were drawing a big, fat, dark line in the sand. Only friends. Only roommates. Would going to a show support that stance? You didn’t think so.

Except, Elsie was going out of her way to be in town today to attend it with you. You had to go, just to be with her. And supporting Josh was a huge deal to you. 

You groaned again, but sent her a quick response agreeing to going shopping. 

If you went tonight, you’d just have to make sure to stand far away from the stage. If you were far enough away, you could watch it, text Josh about it, and then dip out quickly.

As you got up to get ready to go shopping with Elsie, you hoped all could go according to this shaky plan.

-🌼🌼🌼-

a/n: i’m afraid there will soon be a hitch in reader’s plan….. ohhh nooo… 😏😈

there is so much coming so soon, you guys omg…. hehe. 👏🏻 we are really getting down to the wire with some of the big stuff i’ve plotted out. i. can’t. WAIT!!

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[yourstruleejn]

six days of us

six days of a love story. from its beginning to its end.

⋆

pairing // kim taerae x fem! reader; other characters mentioned are hanbin and kim chaehyun on the readers side, and junhyeon and matthew on taerae’s!

genre // fluff & angst; university student! au; he fell first, she fell harder-ish; it’s based on six selected day6 songs!

word count // 14.5 k

tw // not too sure, insecurities in one’s own feelings but if there are any more lmk!

playlist // here (i recommend listening in order but i can't really tell you what to do so! have fun!)

author’s note // i‘m back!! so sorry it took so long but i genuinely loved writing this! it was so much fun, i tried to keep it kind of realistic but it’s been a while since my last relationship so i’m not too sure i succeeded lol! anyways i hope you enjoy reading and that it was worth the wait!

!!! reminder !!! everything i write about on here is entirely fictional and in no way am i saying this is how the people mentioned would act in real life! it’s all just pretend! ♡

How come when the skies turn grey, heavy clouds like curtains keeping out the light, we forget the vivid of the blue, the warmth of sun? How come when the winter months set in and the trees stand bare, we forget the rustle of the leaves as the summer wind hums the tune to July? How come when a person enters our lives, we cannot imagine our life not knowing them? But how come, once the same person leaves, everything reminds us of them, like a ghost coming back to haunt us, to remind us of what could have been?

1. hi hello

The smell of coffee, polite smiles, and the morning rush. It was usually around May when you noticed that the hot chocolates turned into iced americanos. An established tradition for your co-workers and you, was to buy the drink for the first customer who ordered it iced. A welcome to summer, a deed to make someone smile. Of course, the lot of you usually ended up giving out more than one free drink, not only because of miscommunications, but mostly because it seemed like the right thing to do. Thus, you and the other employees were more grateful than ever that your boss was as lenient as he was, usually laughing it off, and popping an ice cube in his steaming hot cappuccino as a gesture. Nevertheless, he was sure to give a stern warning (or a friendly reminder, as he liked to call them) to not give out any more free iced drinks once the first week of May had passed. You usually just smiled at your phone as the yearly text made all of your phones whistle in unison.

The first Friday of May was here and with it you had hoped a comfortably busy day at work. The weather was embracing the light mood of the university students running around near campus, and you were convinced more than one of them would crave an iced beverage of some sort.

You had been cleaning the espresso machine, making sure everything was bound to run smoothly for your next order, when the serenity of the afternoon made itself known to you: No customers were queuing for their orders, the inside-tables of the small coffee shop were empty, the ones outside just as unoccupied, which was due to the unexpectedly harsh sun, who warmed the cement for the first time, radiating it back towards the already heating air. It was to be expected, the parasols were still packed away in the storage room in the back of the shop. Sighing you rested your head on top your hands looking through the opened front as the quiet outside world was conquered by the sunrays of early May. You could feel the cool of the counter spread onto the palms of your hands, as the dooming boredom of your uneventful work afternoon towered over you.

Very quiet, you thought.

Too quiet, you complained silently.

And it was unusual that nobody was here. In the two years you had worked at the café, the only times nobody had come in was in the midst of summer, and even then, there had usually been at least one person at a time. So, this was very odd. If Chaehyun had been here, she would have told you to not question God’s gift of a minute of peace and quiet. However, this wasn’t a minute, it had been minutes. Plural. On top of everything you enjoyed working as a barista, even if it was stressful at times, at least there was always something to do. Well, apparently almost always.

At the beginning of your shift, your boss had asked you if you would be fine alone for a few hours today, you had agreed reluctantly, as it could have very well gone wrong, but now you were glad that you had not insisted on anyone else coming in. You knew Hanbin was busy with dance practice, and that Chaehyun had been excited all week for a date she was going on today. Having one of them come in unexpectedly and then do nothing all afternoon, would have been not only a waste of their time but also of your boss’ money. So, you supposed, it was fitting for this particular Friday to be slowest day ever. Even though it meant boredom for you. Oh my god, this was going to be a long afternoon.

Time was passing three times as slow as it usually did. In the past 15 minutes you had been sure three times, that it was time you started the closing duties, only to realize that merely a handful of minutes had passed. You had grown so impatient with today, that you considered turning the time forwards, so that you could close early ‘on accident’ and go home. Of course, as an amazing employee you would never do anything like this ever, but it sure crossed your head once or twice (or three times actually). Sighing at the clock once more, you retreated back to your position with your head resting on the counter as you wait for the seconds to creep by.

Immersed by the ticking of the time and so busy tapping the rhythm of the melody stuck in your head that you didn’t notice someone approaching the shop, until the bell announced his entry.

“Hi,” a rather low voice greeted as you scrambled into your usual upright position behind the counter.

“Hello!” You smiled at the young man in front of you. He must have been around your age, maybe a little bit older, but that was judging by his voice. His appearance was sweet and youthful, his smile bright, his hair a little messy, but just the right amount. Charming. He was the kind of boy that would star in a Taylor Swift music video. Classic friends-to-lovers. You had to suppress a small giggle at the thought of it.

In the moments between his greeting, your greeting and the Taylor Swift fantasies, your brain still found the time to wonder what his order would be (it worked fast like that). Maybe something classic like an iced americano? Or something unexpected like a strawberry latte? You had been so bored, alone the thought of making a drink excited you beyond reason.

“What can I get you today?” you asked with a practiced, but this time more genuine than not, smile on your face.

“Oh,” He looked a little lost, you noticed only now, fidgeting with his hands in front of him, “I was just going to ask whether or not it was okay for me to set up for busking in front of the café?” He turned around, pointing to the small open area in front of the unoccupied seats.

 It was a nice spot for busking, the shade from the trees making it cool enough to perform in the summertime as well. Your eyes darted to the guitar bag slung across his shoulder, lips caught between his teeth as he expectantly waited for your answer.

“Oh. So, you don’t want a drink, huh?” You really tried to suppress the disappointment, but judging from the look on his face, you weren’t doing a good job. Well at least you would soon have some sort of entertainment. And who knows, maybe he was so good, he’d bring in some customers.

“Do I have to buy a drink to be allowed to busk?” His eyebrows shot up, his expression changing from sweet to curious.

“What? Oh, no that’s okay. You can go ahead.” You smiled at him, nodding to the small square in front of the café.

He smiled slightly, determined to satisfy your need to prepare a drink for him, “Actually, I could use a little bit of a refreshment.”

Matching his expression, your face now showcased a bright smile as you handed him the menu. You weren’t sure if he could tell how grateful you were to finally be able to do something other than stand around and check the time, but you tried to show it to him by whipping back and forth slightly, stealing glances at him as he decided. You waited patiently as he studied the menu, tongue poking out between his teeth. He was cute, in a clueless kind of way.

Some time passed, but nothing compared to the amount you had been standing around until your saviour in the form of a busker came into the café.

Finally, he lifted his head, adjusted his guitar, slung over his shoulder, and cleared his throat, “Actually, could I maybe get a bottle of water?”

You were about to cry. A whole menu full of drinks ranging from coffees to mochas to fruit teas and smoothies, and this man wants a bottle of water? You were sure he could see the disappointment written on your face once again as he looked up from the small piece of paper in his hands.

A somewhat apologetic smile rested on his lips; he knew what he did.

“Water?” you asked again, just to be sure. Just so that you didn’t misunderstand and accidentally got the man a water instead of the strawberry matcha latte he just ordered.

“Uhm… I-Is that not possible?” A nervous smile was present on his features. On any other day, you probably would have noticed that the boy in front of you was quite literally a nervous wreck; Not only would he be busking in a new area for the first time, but his friends had also convinced him to go ask the cute barista if it was okay to play in front of her café, although he knew it was more than okay and even encouraged by the owner. Still, he did it out of curtsey, and not to finally have a reason to talk to the girl. He had had several pep-talks from his friends, as well as his mother (although she didn’t know what the peptalking was for), just to stumble over his word when ordering a water? Taerae, you really can do better.

“Water is free.” That interrupted his mental face palm as you smiled politely and pointed to the jug to your right. It was filled with fresh orange and lemon slices as well as mint to give the water a little something. Usually, the taste of the fruit would not be that strong as it would get refilled and emptied quite quickly, but today it had been standing around for a while, so you were sure it would actually taste a bit like the citrus and herbs floating inside of it. You supposed the boy would be in for a treat.

“That’s nice.” That’s nice?

“Do you need a cup for it to take it outside?” As you were speaking, you already turned around, grabbing one of the paper cups and a pen ready to write his name on it. You realized it was unnecessary to do this for a mere cup of water, but in all honesty, you were just as intrigued by the man in front of you, as you had been disappointed by the lack of creative drink-ordering; You wanted to know the name of the man that gave you hope just to take it all away from you again.

“What’s your name?” you smiled innocently, already setting the pen down to write as you looked at the man through your lashes.

“Oh. Uhm Taerae.”

You chuckled, “Okay, Oh-Uhm-Taerae,” you handed him the cup, “Enjoy your water!” you winked at him, smiling as he filled it up.

Taerae was a blushing mess. How was he supposed to perform in front of the café now? And also, why would he have ordered water? Of all things, he could have ordered, he asked for water. Wow. For a moment Taerae wondered if it was more embarrassing to play in front of here now, or to just leave and never set foot into this part of the city ever again.

Taking a sip of his water he set down his guitar and finally let out a dramatic sigh, he didn’t realize needed to leave his body right this second. There was not much to his busking set up, just him and his guitar, a stool, and a small speaker. Taerae used to have a booklet with all of his favourite songs, but he knew them by heart now, so no need to hide behind the notes. Matthew always said he would hide his face behind the pages, and when he first performed without it there had been twice as many people, not because he was better, but because people could see his smile. Taerae wasn’t so sure that that was the reason.

Today he seemingly would be playing for an audience of two. Himself and you. You who had been watching his ever move during his set up, as you were wiping down the already clean tables. If he hadn’t been so nervous, he would probably say this was his favourite way to meet new people. In fact, he had met almost all of his best friends through music; be it busking or the choir at his high school, or even just bonding over their favourite artists, music had always brought people into Taerae’s life. So Junhyeon’s theory to just go and ask if it was okay to play in front of the café as to finally talk to you, should have been fool proof. Count on Taerae to mess it up though. He debated whether or not he should text the group chat and ask for some moral support and customers for the café, but ultimately decided against getting teased to death by his favourite tormentors.

The sun was getting lower and lower as Taerae procrastinated starting to play. He could feel as the anticipation radiated off of you. You had settled back behind the counter, still watching him as he pretend to tune his guitar for the nth time. Taerae couldn’t hold eye contact with you for longer than an accidental moment, if had been able to, he would have seen the amused smile on your face as you sipped on a glass of water yourself. Taerae had his ‘Oh-Uhm-Taerae’ titled cup sat on the ground beside him. He had blushed even more when he had realized how you had teased him and was sure you’d get along great with Junhyeon once he introduced the two of you. If he got to ever introduce to his friends.

He was sure by now you could tell he was stalling, so with one last look around the area, and one last sip of his wonderful water, he strummed his guitar.

*

Music attracted people like honey did flies. Over the years you learned that whenever busking was held in front of the café, the customers would float through the doors, order drinks, and relax to the live music. But as the first notes of Taerae’s singing reached your ears, you wished that nobody would come to distract you from his voice. For the first time today, you wanted nothing but be left alone with the boy and listen, maybe sway through the small room a bit. But sure enough, the first song wasn’t even over, the sun hadn’t even retreated further towards the horizon, its light still bright and strong, not yet soft, and golden, when the first couple came strolling by, and after a short moment of weighing their options, the woman sat down outside, her attention undivided on Taerae, as the man came inside to order their drinks. You sighed softly as your focus on Taerae shifted to the coffee machine, it sound muffling his voice as you grinded coffee ground after coffee ground. Out of the corner of your eye, you could already see the next person enter the shop, still half looking at the performer outside. Now, it would be busier than usual, you were sure. You smiled softly, be careful what you wish for.

*

Taerae was happy he could bring you some business. He was also happy that your very distracting eyes didn’t linger on him quite as intensely as they did during his first song. It had been a successful busking for him even after his first struggles. The sky had eventually turned darker and darker, and the air had gone crisp with the last goodbyes of what once was winter. With more and more people leaving it was time for him as well to wrap up. At one point there had been so many people, it was almost impossible for Taerae to see the front of the store, making it difficult for him to confirm that you were still watching, paying attention to him. The awkward interaction out of his mind, he was happy to catch you look at him during any free moment of your now busy work afternoon/evening.

*

When Taerae started to pack up, the café was already closed. He hadn’t seen you leave, but there had been so many people around, he easily could have missed you. Besides, there was always a chance of a back entrance or something of the like. On the one hand, it was nice that he now could relax and not worry about embarrassing himself again in front of you, on the other he really wanted to know what you thought of his songs; Whether or not you liked them, if it was okay if he came back and played again, if he could take you out to dinner. The usual after busking questions really.

Zipping up his guitar, Taerae got ready to leave. He could still feel the guitar strings giving way and embedding themselves under his fingertips, that’s how he knew it had been a good session. It was quiet now that he had stopped playing, no spectators left but the first cicadas welcoming the night-time. Taerae would have just left if it hadn’t been for jingle of keys followed by a soft “Wait a moment” that caught his attention.

He turned and sure enough there you were, bag slung over your shoulder, hair tied out of your face, revealing a smile and gleaming eyes.

“Hi,” you smiled.

“Hello,” Taerae reciprocated.

You handed him the takeaway cup you were carrying, adorned with a neat ‘Oh-Uhm-Taerae’. You smiled as he raised his eyebrows at the nickname, his own heart swelling at your chuckle.

“It’s tea,” You explained, “I figured you could use some after singing all afternoon.”

He nodded, bringing the beverage to his lips. The stark contrast of the cool May night and the heat of the tea made him realize how his body had cooled down, “Thank you. It’s nice.” There he goes again with his nice. He rolled his eyes at himself.

“Well, that’s good! I can make more than water, you know?” you smiled, “Anyways, thank you for today, you brought in more customers than any other busker has thus far. In the name of my boss and his business, I wanted to invite you back to play again. Preferably Tuesdays, Thursdays, or Fridays in the afternoons. That’s when I work.”

Taerae should have acted cool and said something like, I’ll see if I can make it, or I will if my schedule allows it, but instead he just laughed and nodded ‘okay’. He didn’t trust his own voice right now; it would probably give away his excitement.

“Good,” You smiled satisfied, “Then I’ll see Tuesday, Oh-Uhm-Taerae.” You turned to walk away.

“Just Taerae is fine!” He was not going to have his crush call him Oh-Uhm-Taerae.

If he had been any smarter, he would have just said ‘Taerae’. In fact, if he had been smarter, he would have not stuttered saying his name in the first place. But Taerae was Taerae, and you were you.

So, turning around, but not stopping your walking backwards, you smile mischievously, “Alright then, Just-Taerae, see you Tuesday!” you could see his mouth opening and closing in retaliation, but before he could say anything more, with a slightly louder voice you said, “I’m just Y/N, by the way.”

Taerae watched as you waked away, smiling to himself, sipping on his tea, skipping on the way home. He had now been officially introduced to ‘Just-Y/N.’

2. i like you

Another Thursday, another busking event for Taerae in front of the café. It had become somewhat of a tradition for him to play at least once a week when you were working. After each time you’d come out with a cup of tea, which had evolved to iced as May progressed into June and with that spring into summer, and the chill of the nights was more welcomed as a contrast to the hot daytime. Sometimes the two of you didn’t talk much, or hang out, be it due to university or other plans, but most of the time you’d spend the better part of the night walking around, trying new food spots, or just talking and hanging out in front of the café, munching on the left-over pastries of the day. Either way, Taerae was glad to see you at least once a week, and thus the two of you went from strangers to close friends.

This Thursday in particular you had something planned, as you had let him know beforehand. Taerae was excited, a little bit nervous even, it was unusual for you to plan something, normally having Taerae decide what the two of you would eat and do. He was very good at reading people, and he’d usually figure something out that fit with both of your moods.

But not today apparently, today you had decided, and Taerae had no idea what it was so, yes, he was a tad bit nervous.

The daylight stretched until well after 8 p.m. and with the café closing at 7.30 p.m., Taerae made sure to get his guitar and busking stuff home before you were done finishing up at the café. He had been so careful with planning his schedule, that he now arrived back at the square a little early, you were still working, getting drinks to customers, preparing the last slices of cake in the soft pink take-away boxes, smiling at children, laughing at unfunny jokes customers made. He was in awe of you. How could a person be so dedicated to their part-time job? And it was not only at work that you were diligent, more than once had Taerae spent and afternoon studying with you in either your or his universities’ library. The focus you were able to uphold was something Taerae was almost jealous of.  He was jealous of you because you still could concentrate, even if he was around, something he struggled with whenever you were in sight. He had also been jealous of whatever you were focusing on. What in the world could be so important for you to focus on, when he was right there next to you. When he was your… friend?

It frustrated Taerae to no end that he did not have the same effect on you, as you had on him.

Sure enough, after another few minutes of waiting the familiar jingle of keys rushed Taerae out of his head, back down to earth. Back down to real you, not head you. He liked both versions equally, so he wasn’t complaining.

You grinned at him as you made your way towards the boy, “Hi.”

“Hello,” he greeted with suspicion. The expression on your face was foreign, but it really couldn’t mean anything good for Taerae, as it reminded him too much of Junhyeon’s scheming face, you were scheming. In Taerae’s head there were only two options; Either you were planning some intricate prank with his friend, or you were planning something sweet, far from a prank, and Taerae would spontaneously confess in a waterfall of words and your newfound, yet very precious friendship, would suffer from it.

“Why do you look so anxious?” there was a somewhat nervous smile on your lips, eyebrows scrunched up in worry as you handed Taerae his post-performance-beverage.

Taerae shook his head, “I’m not. I just don’t want to get murdered by you. So, before we go, I just wanted to remind you that my voice is a gift to the world, and if you are planning on un-aliving me today, that you’d be taking it away from the whole world and everybody would be mad at you.”

You looked at him, a half scoff, half laugh escaping your lips.

“I’m serious, Y/N. I’m sharing my location with Junhyeon this entire evening.” Taerae crossed his arms in front of his chest, awaiting your reassurance that in fact you were not going to kill him.

“What makes you think Junhyeon isn’t in on the plan?” you smirked, while Taerae’s expression fell.

This joking manner was one of the only times Taerae could look at you without his heart combusting or his eyes diverting as soon as they met yours. And while you were laughing at your very lame retaliation, he had time to take you in. It was beyond Taerae how someone could make him so nervous yet so at peace at the same time.

“Come on now, Taerae” you smiled leading the way towards the metro station, “have a little faith in me, yea?”

If only you knew the amount of faith he had in you. So, of course, Taerae followed.

*

Laughing and joking the two of you discussed all the songs Taerae played today. Thus far he had not played your request, which, like every time after a performance, you let him know by complaining excessively.

The station way bustling with people going home from work, students finding their way to their after-school-studies, and people like you; Looking for activities to end the day on a relaxing note. Out of instinct Taerae placed his hand on your lower back, guiding you through the sea of people towards the train as you were rambling on about this week’s songs and the lack of your favourites (although any song sung by Taerae was your favourite, but not that he needed to know that just yet).

Whenever you and him were together, you had noticed that you forgot the rest of the world existed. Not necessarily in the way, how everything else goes blurry and your focus was solely on him, but rather that real life just slows down a little bit. Whenever you were with Taerae, everything else just seemed less important, far away.

He, however, seemed always grounded. Even when you were excitedly babbling on, Taerae simultaneously smiled and made sure you weren’t in anybody’s way, yet still matched your energy and made sure to react to you. You never understood how he could be so focused on the rest of the world as well. It was especially frustrating because you could either focus on him entirely, or not at all; for you with Taerae it was an all or nothing situation.

*

The train was more or less ripping at its seams when you got on. You always wondered how so many people could fit in such a confined space and not get squashed. You had hoped that due to the nice weather and the rather late hour, it would have been a little emptier, but no, clearly nothing beats the AC of a subway. The hopes of a seat after a long afternoon of work had been abandoned a long time ago, as you got pushed closer and closer towards Taerae.

In all honesty, the boy was panicking. He didn’t know where to put his hands, what to hold onto as to prevent the both of you from falling at each halt the train took. His only hope was for the crowds to thin once the next big transfer point arrived. But until then? He wasn’t sure how to keep standing upright and breathe properly, with you this close.

“Y/N?” Taerae whispered barely audible.

“Hm?” You looked up at him, waiting for him to continue.

But just as Taerae started to speak, you saw the man behind him stand up from his seat. In an effort to not notice how close Taerae had been, you had heard him grumbling to himself how packed the train was and that he could get off at the next station and walk the rest home, but that had been three stops ago. Now that he was actually getting up, you had to act fast. The man pushed past you and in a swift motion you pushed Taerae against the seat, making him sit down with a thump.

You smiled at him triumphantly as his big eyes looked back at you. The man getting up and you pushing Taerae had happened so swiftly that, Taerae hadn’t noticed he had grabbed a hold of your hand as to not lose balance. And you hadn’t either, smiling happily to yourself as you stood in front of Taerae, shielding him from the masses.

Taerae however, would not have you stand when you had been the one working almost all day. He pulled you towards him, getting up at the same time. To spectators it might’ve looked like a twirl, a spontaneous dance on the subway. Well, as a result, you were now sitting and Taerae was leaning over you, satisfied with the change of position.

For a moment there had been a smug grin on his face, but it was soon wiped away by a blush, as he noticed a group of students squealing next to you, whispering to each other and giggling. You too had looked away from Taerae in an attempt to hide your flushed cheeks. But Taerae noticed. And he smiled.

*

From this moment on, the train ride seemed to go on forever. The crowd thinned as your stop approached and soon only a handful of people were in your compartment. Taerae had sat down beside you, taking one of the high-school girls’ seat once they got up and left, but only after they had made sure Taerae did in fact sit down next to you and not anybody else. It was kind of sweet. Still, you couldn’t look any of them in the eye as they got off the train.

Finally, your stop arrived and in a swift motion you got up. Taerae was excited too, he still didn’t know where exactly you were going, but now he at least knew the broad area; The stop was a little towards the edge of the city, where parks and playgrounds dominated the cemented roads. It was a nice change of scenery, and Taerae welcomed it.

Coming up above ground, he noticed how quickly the sun had set, the sky only showing remnants of the bright day at its horizon. You had stopped a few paces in front of him, finding it hard to regain orientation somewhere you hadn’t been in such a long time.

“Where to first?” Taerae asked, curious as to where you could be going this late. You had let him know beforehand that there would not be a grand meal today, and that he should eat something in between busking and your… date?

“The convenience store.” You explained, once you saw the small corner store you used to visit as a kid, “To get ice cream, naturally.”

So, the two of you made your way towards the store and after a few minutes of weighing options and discussing preferences, Taerae and you had decided on green-tea ice cream, and a caramel flavoured one.

“Okay, ice cream secured,” you smiled at Taerae exiting the shop, “Now, Mr. Kim, I shall show you one of my favourite places of all time.”

“What an honour.” He smiled as he tagged along, catching up with you as you started in the direction of a small park.

It had been a little later than you had anticipated, making it a little harder for you to find the exact spot you were looking for. The trees were practically pitch black, and although there were a few lanterns lighting the way, they were too little and too far apart to actually help a great deal. The gravel crunched beneath your shoes as you snacked on the ice cream and made your way further into the green.

“There it is!”

As soon as the small wooden pavilion was in sight you tugged on Taerae’s sleeve to hurry. He had to admit, he wasn’t sure why you were this excited about a wooden structure in a park, at the other end of the city. He thought it was adorable, nonetheless. Coming up the small hill he saw that the pavilion overviewed a small pond, where this time strategically placed light illuminated the water surface.

“Nice, is it not?” you teased, smiling up at the boy. Reacting to things with a quick ‘Nice’ had become an inside joke between the two of you, well for you mostly; It was fun for you, but Taerae usually just rolled his eyes.

“It is.” He confirmed, “But why exactly are we here? I mean don’t get me wrong, I absolutely adore being squeezed together on a train for more than half an hour and then sitting in a park. I’m just wondering.”

“Careful, Taerae,” you narrowed your eyes at him, “I could still murder you and dump your body in the pond.”

He laughed., “No but seriously, what is this place?”

“I’m not sure. I just stumbled upon it one day during my first week of uni. It was strangely familiar and when I talked to my parents about it, they said we used to come here when I was a kid,” you shrugged, “It’s nothing super special but I just wanted to show you.”

Taerae smiled at you, and you smiled back. It was one of these quiet moments you shared. Your friendship thus far had been filled with laughter and music and teasing, but every once in a while, a quiet moment like this made it special. Until someone decided to break the quiet, of course.

“You should have told me; I would have brought my guitar. Properly serenated you.” He pouted.

“No more serenating, I’m growing sick of your voice Taerae, for real.” You mocked, laughing.

This only made Taerae pout more, pushing your shoulder slightly.

The sound of your laugh faded, and Taerae observed a shift in your manner. The look you gave him in that moment sent a shiver down his spine and for a moment he wondered whether or not you had been actually joking about murdering him or not. You looked so unsure and serious, Taerae had never seen you this way.

In your life, not many days had gone your way. You weren’t sure if there were going to be a lot in the future that would. But you really needed today to go your way. Needless to say, you were worried. Of course, there had been another reason you had brought Taerae here; It wasn’t simply because you wanted to show him one of your favourite places, it was a reason as well, but not the only one. But now that you had to put your plan into action, you worried. You had been scared of your body reacting this way just before this moment. Your throat had dried up and your hands were slightly shaking and your heart, oh dear, your heart was going as fast as ever. Maybe you should just cancel the original plan and just, come up with a plan B? Was this a good idea? Did you really need to do this now?

If anything, the troublesome journey here had only confirmed your plans for today. So yes, you really had to get it off your chest, you quite literally couldn’t keep it in anymore. From the moment you saw Taerae today, to you grabbing his hand and not letting go (as if that was on accident), from the highschoolers, and everyone else on the train, as well as in your co-workers and friends, seeing what was right in front of your eyes. You just really had to tell Taerae.

“Hey, actually, there’s another reason I brought you here,” you forced a reassuring smile onto your lips, as to not worry Taerae.

You were terribly failing at not worrying Taerae; As his mind raced through all his possible wrong doings so that he could predict what horrible thing you were going to say, he kept quiet and anxiously waited for you to continue.

“Well, I wanted to bring you here because, I mainly associate this place with incredibly happy memories and I just wanted that to be a good omen, I guess.” You were stalling. You knew that. Taerae probably knew that.

But Taerae also felt relief. It can’t be anything horrendous when you want this place to be a canvas for good memories right? No, right?

Taerae didn’t say anything. He watched your every move as you turned towards the dark that spread across the small body of water. He heard you let out a deep sigh.

This might go incredibly wrong. It might go amazingly right. Either way, you had to say it.

“Taerae,” you started finally turning to the boy, “There’s no going back after I say this, but just know that it’s okay if you don’t feel the same, I just need to tell you, okay?”

A small smile spread across his face. Oh my god. He knew where this was going. He definitely wanted it to go there. He nodded for you to continue. In the moments between his motion and you starting to speak he thought about how he had failed as a musician. He sang love songs as a passion, he had been singing them as a hobby for years, he studied music at university, he was pouring out his heart to anyone who would listen, confessing to you every Tuesday, Thursday, Friday afternoon through the one language he knew, the one language that felt safe to him. Yet, here you were, about to confess to the boy who had been singing to you for weeks-

“I like you. As more than a friend.” You offered him a nervous, crooked smile. The words leaving you lips much faster than you had anticipated.

“That’s such a relief.” He answered.

“Huh?” You looked almost scared, the blood draining from your face. Was this his way of rejecting you? No, he didn’t look apologetic at all, no pity in his eyes.

“That means all the love songs I’ve been performing have not been in vain.” He smiled taking a step towards you, brushing a stray strand of hair behind your ear, “I like you, Y/N. And I’ve been trying to hold it in, so you can’t even begin to imagine how happy I am that I can finally tell you.”

If it were possible for human eyes to form themselves into hearts, yours would have changed by now. Whatever this man triggered within you, made your heart overflow with feelings, “Thank god.” You answered, making both him and you laugh.

In your nerves and relief and happiness, you hadn’t realized how impossibly close he was by now, even closer than he had been on the subway. You could feel his breath on your face and the warmth of his hand on your cheek. One last smile spread across Taerae’s lips before he finally leaned in to connect your lips to his. You met him in the last millimetres, eager to finally kiss.

It wasn’t perfect by normal standards; The two of you laughed and smiled into each other. You were a little awkward with your limbs, and a little too out of breath to be still considered sexy. Still, it was perfect because it was just the two of you. It was perfect because it was Taerae. It was perfect because it was you. It was perfect because you liked him, and he liked you.

The night was calm and cool when you and Taerae first shared a kiss. The sun had set, and the stars were watching, as your friendship bloomed into love.

3. when you love someone

Summer had been long and lovely, and now Autumn was just around the corner; it was so close, you wouldn’t be surprised if all the leaves had changed colour once you got off this never-ending shift. Taerae’s eyes followed your body as it moved from table to table with full drinks and plates with pastries and then back to the counter with empty dishes and new orders. The memory of the quiet café on the day the two of you first met, was a picture unimaginable, as the small interior was now buzzing with customers. To think you had wished for more customers on that fateful afternoon, when now you hoped the swarm of people would just evaporate in front of your eyes. To describe this time of the year as hectic would be an understatement; Just before university started up again, the café turned into a spot for last goodbyes between parents and now young adults, as well as spot for catching up after the long summer months for friends, who had come to return to their studies.

Taerae had been waiting for quite some time, he was lucky enough to had spot a free table, right when he arrived to pick you up. He had also been lucky since he didn’t actually have to queue for his drink; Taerae, just like all the other significant others of the employees, got the boyfriend/girlfriend treatment; Their drink of choice waiting for them as soon as they entered. By now, you were sure he had finished his drink, even though you hadn’t finished work. You were supposed to get off half an hour ago, but with the floods of people coming through your doors, you couldn’t bring yourself to leave Chaehyun and Hanbin alone, feeling the responsibility as the longest and most experienced worker, as well as the burden of being a good friend heavy on your shoulders.

Not only that, but also your boss had spontaneously decided to go on vacation a week ago and had left you in charge. Although it had felt good to be entrusted with this responsibility, you had not anticipated the amount of work it would mean. You had worked almost every day, having to postpone meetups and get-togethers with not only friends and family, but with your boyfriend as well. The two of you had barely seen each other this week, and thus you wanted nothing more than to leave with Taerae and curl up on his couch just as you had planned, but apparently your customers had a different idea: Whenever you made your way over to his table, somebody asked for some special drink that only you knew how to make. Or the cash register decided to spontaneously combust. It was almost comical.

Every now and again yours and Taerae’s eyes met, and you mouthed an ‘I’m sorry’, to which he just shook his head, telling you it was okay.

In all frankness, Taerae didn’t mind waiting for you at the café.

He loved watching you. It was all the interaction he had with you for the longest time before he finally asked to busk in front of the café. He loved watching you so much that if he had to put down his three favourite things in the entire world, it would be making music, kissing you and watching you while you went on about your tasks.

There had always been something magical in the way Taerae perceived you; He had gotten to know you so well over the past three months you’ve dated, that he felt even if he was simply looking at you, he was experiencing something special, a unique feature to your relationship.

 So, it was okay. He really didn’t mind waiting for you.

What he did mind though, was how stressed you seemed; How you always did everything for everyone, more than what they’d ask for, just in case they needed that little extra; How you clearly didn’t see when there was too much on your plate, and still space on someone else’s. Taerae knew that you tended to do everything by yourself, and didn’t want to worry anyone, but Taerae was worried about you. He wanted to be your resting place, to be helpful in some way.

So, when you had finally found a spare minute to come to his side, Taerae couldn’t wait to be of some comfort, to help make you feel a little better.

“Hi,” smiled softly at the man.

Instinctively Taerae’s hand snuck around your waist, pulling you closer for maximum body contact. You smiled as the familiar warmth spread inside your chest, making you instantly ease up a bit, feeling more at home on this busy day.

“Hello,” he greeted, smiling up at you. 

You just smiled at each other for a moment, tanking up on some well needed calm and support, which only your boyfriend could offer. Soon enough however, your gaze was stolen away by a couple that had just joined the queue.

You sighed, “I’m not sure I’ll be able to leave before closing.”

“That’s okay. I’ll wait, I don’t mind. We can go to my apartment after.” Taerae hoped you would agree, but he knew it was unlikely.

Your eyes were fixed on the clouds outside darkening the sky, making it seem later than it was, “Hm… Maybe you should go now before it rains. I’ll come right after locking up.” You smiled at him, cocking your head to the side. A cute habit of yours, Taerae noted, but he could still see the tiredness in your eyes.

Pulling his eyes away from you towards the looming downpour, he was almost convinced. He hesitated because he just wanted to make sure you were okay and would get home as soon as possible as well.

“Okay. But make sure to hurry once you’re done, okay? And don’t get rained on.” Taerae said while slipping on his denim jacket.

You nodded confirming his words and promising to get home as soon as possible, “The rain will be done once I’m off, I promise.” You smiled.

“Okay, weather fairy, I’ll see you at home.”

He planted a kiss on your cheek and got ready to leave, the next occupant of the table already making his way towards the empty space.

*

It had in fact not stopped raining by the time you had cleaned the espresso machine and wiped down most of the tables. Hanbin and Chaehyun had left a few minutes ago, running towards the subway station, in the spare moments the rain had eased up a bit, leaving you to lock up alone. Now the rain was back to its full power, slamming onto the pavement, windows, cars, and soon you as well. You were afraid the small umbrella you found in the back of the locker room would not do much to keep you dry and warm on the short walk to Taerae’s apartment, but it had to be better than nothing.

The storm was just about to regain its entire might when you left the safety of your workplace. Turning the keys, you felt the cold wind hit your exhausted legs, sending shivers up your whole body, and sending more than a few leaves on their journey towards the ground prematurely. You cursed at yourself for thinking that late-summer-thunderstorms carried the warmth, that mid-summer-ones did. Struggling to keep the umbrella upright, you wrapped the bright blue zip-up sweater you had stolen from Taerae’s closet closer over your body. If there had been any more wind, you were sure would have been blown away.

In fact, you had been so busy trying to not take off, you barely noticed a figure hurrying in your direction.

An out of breath Taerae appeared in the far distance, his silhouette not only blurred by the rain, but also the impressive velocity of his figure running towards you. In Taerae’s hand you could make out another one of his hoodies and a definitely more sturdy-looking umbrella, more than big enough to fit the two of you.

His cheeks and nose were red, even more so due to the red fabric of the umbrella, but mainly because of the unexpected cool temperatures. Taerae hadn’t been home long when he had decided to come and get you once the café closed. A decision he now noted as more than smart, having witnessed you almost fly away like Mary Poppins.

He couldn’t help the smile as he pulled you towards himself, underneath the little shelter his umbrella offered “So, this is where my favourite sweatshirt has gone to.” He pointed towards the fabric currently keeping your body just a degree away from a shiver.

Unfortunately, you had been right about your umbrella being bad at its job, the sweatshirt now thoroughly soaked, “Sorry,” You smiled innocently, “But hey, at least it’s clean now.”

Taerae shook his head, granting you refuge and additional warmth underneath his arm as he wrapped it around your body, pulling you as close as he could, “You could have texted you know?” he whispered in your ear, barely audible over the rain continuously slamming onto the thin fabric above the two of you. 

“I thought my equipment would suffice,” you confessed, although you knew your umbrella would have been unlikely to hold up to this kind of weather, “I’m sorry you had to come out to rescue me.”

“It’s what I’m here for, no? Serenating and rescuing.” Taerae smiled, his hair curling itself back to its natural state, “University student and professional busker by day, personal saviour and superhero of Y/N by night.”

You chuckled; he really was your hero.

*

Finally inside and in dry clothes, you let yourself fall onto Taerae’s couch. As soon as your body touched the soft fabric, the sleepiness started to set in. Between the bustle of work and the adventure of running through the rain with Taerae, your body had gone from low battery to out of it completely. The only thing missing right now was your boyfriend, who was making instant noodles and a cup of tea for the both of you, insisting that you had made enough beverages today to last a lifetime, and you couldn’t agree more.

The day had been so long, and just an hour ago you had wished for nothing more than for time to pass by more quickly, but now that you had actually had time to spend with Taerae, you willed the clock to slow down for a bit.

Now in the warmth of Taerae’s apartment, you didn’t mind the weather at all; The rain was still going, tapping onto the windows nonstop, and flooding the streets outside without doubt, but what did it matter to you now that you were able to rest with your favourite person in the entire world.

Speak of the devil; Taerae set down the bowl of instant noodles in front of, followed shortly by a glass of water and a cup tea.

“That looks so good, I could kiss you right now.” You smiled looking at food in front of you.

“Do it then.” Taerae turned his head towards you, expectantly waiting on the kiss you had promised.

You placed a quick peck onto the smiling boy and then started to slurp down your meal. It had been some time since Taerae had seen you so happy. It had been some time since Taerae had seen you, period. Not counting the café this afternoon, of course, but it really had been a while since the two of you had hung out alone like this. And Taerae would be lying if he said he hadn’t missed you. Just like you would be lying if you said you hadn’t been stressed out of your mind this past week. Just like you would be lying if you said you weren’t tired right now. Just like you would be lying if you said you hadn’t missed Taerae too.

“It was a really hard day today, huh?” Taerae’s voice was laced with worry, and it made you anxious. You didn’t want to worry him, there really wasn’t anything for him to worry about, he was helping as much as he could without worrying.

“It was okay,” you answered, a little too quiet for Taerae’s liking, “I’m just glad I won’t be in charge anymore next week.”

While Taerae believed that the majority of what you said was true, he wouldn’t have you downplaying your feelings like that. He sighed, “You don’t have to pretend with me, Y/N, you know? I’m here to help. I want to know when you’re stressed or feel bad or hurt.”

In the past few months that you and Taerae had been dating, it was made obvious on more than one occasion that your boyfriend’s love language was acts of service. Be it to drive you to your favourite bookstore, or to get you some medicine when you were sick. Taerae loved to just do things for you.

You smiled at your sweet boyfriend, your heart overflowing once again, “I know, it’s just… I can do this on my own. I don’t want to worry you.” You nodded to yourself, feeling a little exposed.

“I get that, but the thing is, you don’t have to,” Taerae took your hand in his, “That’s what it’s like when you love someone; I want to share the hurt and the burden and the stress. I want to do it for you, and I want you to do it for me,” his smile was faint, his eyebrows scrunched up slightly, “I’d rather worry with you, than worry for you.”

You weren’t sure what you had done to deserve someone like Taerae. Smiling you leaned into his side, resting your head into the crook of his neck, “Alright, I’m sorry.”

He kissed the top of your head as a response, triggering the warm and fuzzy feeling once again.

“Hey,” you whispered against his body, “I love you.”

Taerae hugged you tighter, engulfing you in all his warmth; the rain so loud against the window, the wind so strong, the building howled its tune, his words so soft they warmed you up from inside, “And I love you.”

4. so let’s love

Being in love was harder than you could have ever imagined. It was also simply more than what you could have ever thought it would be. It was more difficult, more intense, more complicated. But the more you felt it, the deeper, the stronger your feelings got for Taerae the more aware you got of your need for him.

Everything Taerae felt with you was new to him as well. In the past, Taerae had never had a problem figuring out how he felt, and he surely didn’t have any problems expressing his emotions. For Taerae, music had always been the easiest, most natural way to communicate. It was what brought him the most precious things in life: a purpose and you. But lately, it was difficult for him to encompass his love for you through actions or music. And he had a feeling he would struggle his entire life to put this into words.

*

The leaves had long turned brown, the weather had long switched from sunshine to frost, and Taerae had once more found his way home from a long day of classes, and an even longer week of not seeing you. Lately, he had felt something shift between the two of you, and he felt difficulty to raise the issue, to talk it out. He even felt difficulty to play it out, to sing it out, to just let his frustrations flow.

Of course, Taerae knew that couples fought. He knew it was normal for lovers to throw hurtful things at each other’s heads from time to time. He could list more than 10 songs that captured this exact feeling of defeat, when one hurts the person, they love the most. It was his hyperawareness of this fact, that made it all the more difficult to ignore the fact that you just did not fight.

It was not like the two of you would not have reason for conflict, but it always seemed like whenever the two of you were close to fighting, you shut down. Your passiveness got a hold of you, and you logged out of Taerae’s life until you were ready to forget about the reason you would have fought anyway. Whether or not you reflected and decided it wasn’t as big as a deal as it seemed at first, or if you just ignored the hurt, Taerae didn’t know.

What he did know however was, that this could not be healthy. Neither for you, nor for him. He refused to lose the love of his life over something such as the lack of fighting. All Taerae wanted was to love you. He wanted all that there is to a relationship, the love, the fights, the forgiving. He didn’t need perfect; he didn’t want perfect.

He was sure of his feelings for you, he had been for the longest time. Maybe he did love you more than you did him, but that didn’t even matter to Taerae. He was just worried, he’d lose you. He was so confident in his own love, he became insecure of yours.

So, on this day, on his way home from university, on his way to you, he thought about how maybe, he just wasn’t worth enough for you to fight with him. Maybe it wasn’t that you didn’t like to fight, maybe it was that he just wasn’t worth fighting with. And for the first time, these kinds of Taerae’s feelings made sense.

*

From the beginning of your relationship, you had been determined to give Taerae your whole heart. You wanted nothing more than to love the sweet boy to your heart’s full capacity. And the more you got to know him, the more your heart’s ability to do so grew. And with that your fear of losing him.

In your entire life, you had not really fought with anybody, ever. Of course, there had been disagreements and discussions, but most of the time you hadn’t deemed the topics worth fighting over. You had also had relationships before, none as serious as the one with Taerae, and they mostly ended amicably. Definitely nothing like any Olivia Rodrigo song. You intended to keep the number of break-ups you had had the same, although you knew realistically, the number of fights had to go up at some point, but thus far even disagreements with Taerae hadn’t proven annoying enough to fight over. All you wanted to do is love him.

You didn’t want to fight with him, or to worry him, or to hurt him. You just wanted to love Taerae.

So, on the day the temperatures had dropped as well as all the leaves, and Taerae used the spare keys you had given him to let himself into your apartment, to cook together, the last thing you had expected was to fight.

One look, out of the window and you saw the blanket of grey and white that threatened (or promised) to spill the first snow of the season. You had been waiting for Taerae to come home for some time now and had been working on some university assignments until the all too familiar jingle of keys announced his arrival. The first thing you heard right after the sound of the soft thump Taerae’s guitar case made when he set it down, was a sigh. And only then did you realize just how stressful the past month had been for the both of you. You and Taerae were both drowning in assignments and projects and that meant you spent the majority of your time in the library, as he did in the studio. It had been hard for you with work and university to find time to just be together, especially with a lot occupying both of your minds.

Communicating had never been your forte and you found it even harder to discuss your worries when the time you had together was so scarce. Taerae had been good at voicing his feelings and telling you when he was stressed but in the past days, he seemed a little closed off as well, so this sigh seemed to be a giveaway.

Still, worries aside a soft smile rested on your lips as he entered the kitchen, the table currently occupied by books and sheets of paper, your own little chaos ruling over the space.

“Looks intense,” Taerae chuckled as he made his way to you.

“It’s even worse than this looks in here,” you motioned with your finger to your head as you closed your laptop shut, standing up to hug your boyfriend hello.

Taerae kissed your cheek, taking in your scent. He noticed the hints of coffee scent in your hair, an indicator that you had worked the morning shift. He didn’t know you had worked today. You used to share your work schedule with him at the beginning of the week. Taerae knew you weren’t obligated to share your schedule with him, he wasn’t possessive like that, but just stopping to do so, irked him in some kind of way.

“You okay?” you asked as Taerae was staring off into space, and you grabbed a bottle of water.

“Yeah,” one look at you and he knew you didn’t believe a single word he just said, “it’s just the usual. Creative pressure and such.”

You cocked your head, the way you always did when processing things, thinking of what to say, “You sure that’s the only reason? You kind of seem a little off the past few days.”

He knew you didn’t mean it like an accusation. He knew that doing this, fighting, on grounds of you asking if there was anything else wrong was ridiculous. But Taerae also supposed it was as good a reason as any. Still, he didn’t mean the words to come out quite as harsh as they did.

“Yeah? You mean like how you don’t even tell me when you work these days anymore? Or what assignments you’re working on? Who you’re working on them with?”

One look and Taerae realized you were clearly taken aback by what he had said. Or how he had said it.

“I’m- I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you had to approve my schedule. I don’t mean to keep it secret Taerae, but I’m not talking about schedules or shifts, or even university. Something’s clearly bothering you.” Your brows were scrunched up and arms crossed.

Taerae scoffed silently, “Why…” he tried to gather the words in his head, to make them seem a little less ridiculous than they were, “Why won’t you fight with me?”

“Huh?” now you were taken aback. “Why won’t I fight with you? Maybe because there’s nothing to fight about?”

“Oh, come on, Y/N. I know you get annoyed when I stay in the studio for too long and don’t text you when I know you’re waiting for dinner plans or something. And I - I get annoyed when you just brush things off, but you always apologize even if there’s nothing to apologize for. Sometimes– Sometimes I just want to be annoyed with you and you should be annoyed with me as well for being annoyed.”

You frowned, what he said was true, even if you weren’t sure he was making sense 100%. In any case, these things just seemed inconsequential. Whenever stuff like that occurred you had been more worried than annoyed, sad maybe, but definitely not mad.

“What do you mean? I just don’t think these things are worth fighting over.”

Taerae closed his eyes, in the way he did when he couldn’t get the right chord combination, in the way he did to coordinate his thoughts, in the way he did just before letting go of a frustrated breath.

“See? This is what I mean. I just- It just feels like that to you I’m not worth fighting with.”

Now there was hurt on your face. Taerae didn’t mean to twist your words but it just, that is what it sounded like to him. This is what it felt like to him.

“I- That’s not what I said at all, Taerae,” Your tone had also changed. It was more straight forward, more matter-of-factly. Yet your eyes seemed desperate to just clarify this situation, so, you searched in his for some sort of doubt of his last statement, “You know that that’s not true, right?”

“I don’t know! It seems like it if I’m being honest,” his voice was just below a shout. Although it definitely didn’t seem angry, it was just as desperate as the look in your eyes. He tried to understand you, the way you tried to understand him, “It feels like whatever I do, whether it’s good or bad it doesn’t matter.”

“What? Of course, it matters. Taerae, you matter, so much!” You tried to hold the eye contact, but your emotions seemed to overflow, making it impossible to think and talk, but you tried anyways, “I am sorry, and don’t get me wrong, this is not me not wanting to fight right now, I’m just trying to understand- to make you understand; Never has anything you did not affected me. Be it negative or positive. I know we’ve talked about it but- you know I’m still learning, right? I just- I don’t want my feelings to be a bother to you. I don’t want me to be a reason for you to not do something. I just- I simply want to be a support for you. I don’t want you to have to worry about me and my feelings too, because I just- I so confidently want you. I just want to love you, Taerae.”

He looked at you, and you looked at him as you continued.

“Never did I mean to hurt you by not fighting with you. If you want to fight then okay, let’s fight. Let’s scream at each other and hurt each other, but I just- I just want to be able to love you through it all.”

You didn’t realize you had started to cry. And Taerae hadn’t realized how much it would hurt to see you cry. So, all he did was pull you close and engulf you in a hug.

“Okay. I’m sorry, too.” He was afraid of letting you go, as the thoughts raced through his head, as he tried to turn back time. He cursed himself for not realizing how much it sucked to fight. How much it sucked to hurt the person you love the most. “Okay, let’s love, okay?”

So, when the first snow began to fall, as it covered the rooftops and bare trees like sugar did pancakes, and a peacefulness settled after the first fight, you and Taerae decided to love each other, but also fight with each other, and cry and laugh with each other, and hurt and forgive each other. The both of you just prayed that you wouldn’t lose each other.  

5. i loved you

An unexpectedly cold spring night put you in an incredibly uncomfortable position.

One would think that at the end of April the temperatures would somewhat rise above 10 degrees, but to your disappointment, they had even dropped below zero. You didn’t know what had come over the city to still be as freezing as it was, but you couldn’t help but think it was your heart that had conjured up the unexpected mid-spring-ice-age.

The temperature wasn’t the only thing that made it difficult for you to get out of bed. It was also a simple lack of anything warm in your life. So, on the morning of this especially chilly spring day, you rummaged through your closet to find one of your warmest sweaters, to try and keep your body from going into hypothermia on your way to your opening shift at the café. Trying to distract you from the shivering even inside your apartment, you thought about the workday ahead, and what spices you would throw into your free morning coffee, when your hand grazed over what felt like your warmest, snuggest sweater. Satisfied with the choice, you grabbed onto the thick fabric and pulled it out, but not without a few other items falling out of your closet in the process.

Cursing at your own messiness, you at first didn’t notice that the sweater you had pulled out, was in fact, not one of your own. You had even been so distracted by the mess that was now on your bedroom floor, that you pulled the sweater over your still with sleepiness marked head, and diligently threw the stray items into the closet, shutting the door before they could fall out once again.

Only when you caught a glimpse of your own reflection, did you realize what you had just slipped onto your body. Comforted by the familiarity of the striped sweater, but startled by the memories it brought back. The scent of its owner still hung heavy in its fibre. You stopped to look at yourself in such a familiar, yet strange item of clothing.

If anyone had told you two months ago that it’d feel strange to wear Taerae’s hoodie in April you would have thought it would have been because of the warm weather, and not because Taerae had broken up with you just a couple of weeks before.

The fabric felt now heavy on your shoulders, and you sensed an all too familiar weight drop a little heavier onto your chest. You had done your best to go back to the life you had known before, but in the past two weeks you had been semi successful in achieving that: More than once had your co-workers caught you staring off into space, your gaze unintentionally fixed upon any busker in front of the café, your eyes even fixated on the spot when nobody was playing. With a gentle tap to your shoulder, Hanbin had brought you back to your task of making espresso shots, a routine that felt almost too easy to get distracted from.

You were well aware that you had had a life before Taerae. You just didn’t know you would have one after Taerae. In all honesty, you had hoped you wouldn’t have.

The most tragic part was, Taerae just hadn’t given you the closure one would need after getting broken up with by the love of their lives. He hadn’t really given you any explanation at all. Nothing more than a lot off bullshit, and a just-because. It was easy for most people in your life to go from loving to hating him, but even with the lack of sympathy for your situation, you found it difficult.

You had tried to hate him, you had tried to resent him even, but nothing had proven effective enough to erase your love for him. Taerae had been engraved into your bones. And now he expected you to just move on?

*

In hindsight, you should have seen it coming. At least that’s what you told yourself, that’s what you told your friends who were asking why the two of you broke up. Coming up with more than absurd reason of why you should have known, when in reality you simply couldn’t have. Because even in hindsight, you never could have seen it coming.

So, on the evening of, when Taerae had told you things weren’t working for him anymore, his face straight and not showing any emotion, not showing his signature smile, or even a tear; On the evening of, when you had begged Taerae to just tell you what you had to change, what it was you had done wrong and that you would fix them, if only he’d stay; On the evening of, when even after you had cried and shouted, he just took his guitar case and left; On the evening of the break up, you hadn’t gotten an answer. And neither had you in the two weeks since.

In fact, you had not seen Taerae at all. Or heard from him, not even through friends or social media. You wondered if he was okay, if he really was as unbothered as he had seemed, even though it was unnatural for him to act the way he did. You had always deemed Taerae a gentle person, but the way he ended things, was just so unlike him. So, he had to be not okay as well, right?

The lack of answers made you do something you had never had to do before, which was speculate and wonder. Taerae had always worn his heart on his sleeve and expressed himself so diligently most of the time, if not through words, surely, he would have done so through music. So, speculating about how he must feel now, was something you had never had to do. But now you caught yourself wondering all the time. You wondered how many things he thought about before the thought of you popped into his head. You speculated what the songs he was composing these days sounded like. Were they about you?

Either way, there was no hiding from him. Not for you, not just yet.

His presence, the imprint he had left on you followed you everywhere you went. The grocery store, the library, the café. Everywhere the memories of Taerae loomed over you. You wanted to forget him, so much to the point you had seriously considered hypnosis, if that was thing. It was like you could not, not consider him. He was so engraved in your brain; he was so engraved in your everything. You weren’t sure how to erase him from your everything, you weren’t sur how to erase him from anything. You weren’t sure you actually wanted to.

Still, the hurt you had felt the first few days was overwhelming, you couldn’t eat or sleep or do anything much other than run on autopilot. It had become so bad, that some of the regular customers noticed. It was almost like all life had been sucked out of you, and in a sense it had been; A possible future life had been taken from you. A future you had hoped for ever since you had met Taerae. A future you now grieved.

So, now looking at yourself in the mirror, the striped sweater hanging from your body, keeping it warm, felt like a glimpse of what if. A glimpse of Taerae. A glimpse of the person you had been when you were with him. A person you could have been, but never would.

For a second you wondered again, Taerae well established in your mind. But in the end, it didn’t matter. There was no use wondering and retracing everything you did during the last few days of your relationship. There was no use, because you did everything you said you would: You had loved Taerae, you loved him still, with your heart’s full capacity. Over the months you had fought and made up and hurt each other and forgiven the hurt. But now none of it mattered, so you might as well try and forget, instead of dwell and grieve.

So, with a swift motion you stripped the sweater off your body, exposing yourself once more to cold of the spring morning that had even seeped through the walls of your apartment. The frost making itself known in the form of icy crystals on your window. You didn’t look for another sweater, you wanted to feel the cold.

You weren’t sure what you had done wrong. But still, you knew more than you didn’t. You knew there was nothing you could do. You knew you would hurt for some time still. You knew you would see Taerae in buskers, guitars, and iced tea. You knew you would hear him in Hi-Hellos and the jingle of keys. You knew you loved him, and you knew it’d be a long time before you stopped.

So, for now you’d try to forget.

6. you were beautiful

There was a hum in the air, a melody that made its way through the busy streets of the city. The warm weather had finally decided to stay, and it stuck to the cement like chewing gum, barely cooling down overnight.

Taerae had kept himself busy over the past month, not really wanting to slow down, but with graduation coming up, also not really being able to do so. For him there had barely been any time to just stroll around, or go to cafes with his friends, or to simply just think; These days Taerae still didn’t really knew how to function normally, how to function like he did before you. Of course, he still had to perform, write, and produce music for university, but he rarely went out to busk or did these things for joy like he used to. It was something outsiders could have never noticed; How Taerae did everything but nothing at the same time. Only the people close to him, could tell something was up. They knew of the break-up of course, but they could only guess why exactly it happened in the first place.

In any case, it was evident that Taerae had closed himself off. He didn’t really talk to any of his friends about it, and neither did his songs show any reflection of what he felt. They hadn’t become bad, they were just cliché. Some of his professors even pointed out the shift in his lyrical style. But there was nothing Taerae could do; he was both too busy and exhausted to deal with his feelings.

Walking around in the area by his apartment was one of the only times Taerae consciously searched for some down time, to sort out at least some of his thoughts. Of course, he was cautious not to stray too close to your workplace, more for his own sake than yours. As of now, Taerae wasn’t sure how his heart would react if he was to come face to face with you unexpectedly. Ever since he had decided to break it off with you, he had barely fathomed to hold a single thought about you. He simply couldn’t conjure up enough courage to deal with his own heart break. So, up until now, pushing everything away would have had to do the trick.

He wasn’t sure what exactly had ticked off his thought process to recall the day of the professor-student conversation. Maybe it was the undeniable sense of Deja-vu he felt when he spotted a young busker, surrounded by only a small group of people, who were all listening carefully to the boy’s song. Maybe it was the girl listening, who from the back looked exactly like the one he loved. It could have been either of these two or another altogether, but in any case, Taerae knew, that maybe it was time to face this inevitable heart ache, even if just for the duration of this walk.

*

At the beginning of each semester, music and music production majors are required to sit down with one of their supervising professors, to discuss projects for the upcoming term. Most of these conversations were easy going, and the projects subject to change, but the conversation at the start of the second semester senior year was one equally feared and anticipated.

The senior project for music and music production majors was basically the making of an entire album, with full creative freedom. Taerae had been more than excited to get started on it, in fact, he had been so eager that the songs for his album were ready for recording as soon as his supervising professor approved of them.

So, yes, Taerae was a tad bit nervous entering the professor’s office. But he was generally well-liked and so were his songs, so he was sure this meeting would go over smoothly, and he would have to do nothing more than to put in a reservation to one of the student recording studios and was good to go.

And that was the case, partly.

Everything was going well; the professor praised his compositions and skills as a lyricist. The way he had described Taerae as someone to get across any type of feeling, made Taerae’s chest swell with pride. It wasn’t until the last few minutes of the meeting, when Taerae was supposed to thank the professor in front of him and get straight to work, that everything was pushed out of his rightful trajectory.

Taerae was about to get up out of the chair he had been sitting in somewhat tensely, when the professor said something, that in hindsight, put as many things into perspective as it pushed out of it. At least for Taerae.

“This girl must be quite the experience for you as a song writer.”

“Excuse me?” Taerae had said then, distraught, and genuinely confused.

The professor had then proceeded to explain how certain people, certain experiences, determined the colours of the artists in any art form. And that you, were certainly one of these experiences that would influence Taerae a great deal, even once the next experience would come into his life.

Looking back now, Taerae wasn’t sure why he had taken what his professor said so to heart. He definitely didn’t think of you as an experience. He didn’t think of you as something temporary at all. He didn’t think that there was any more evolving for him to be done, Taerae would have been good writing songs about you for the rest of his life.

But was this how the world perceived you? As an experience? Did he, through his songs somehow reduce you to something less than what you were, something temporary, something to live through and then move on?

From this point on Taerae couldn’t help but spiral in his self-doubt. Doubt for his love for you, and doubt for his skill of song writing. Thinking back on statements his friends had made, like how they would also write songs as good as Taerae’s if they had a Y/N in their lives, only confirmed his insecurities in his own love for you. Taerae somehow had gotten way into his head about it.

In Taerae’s mind it wasn’t fair to you. It wasn’t fair to make you an experience in his life. It wasn’t fair, when all you did was give, when you read his every thought and tried so hard to be better and learned with the mistakes you made, learned to love Taerae even more.

Taerae remembered that you had said you wanted nothing more than to love Taerae for the rest of your life, that he was your person. And all Taerae had done was make you an experience.

*

Lost in thought, a sigh heavy on his lips, Taerae hadn’t noticed the young woman listening to the busker turn around. She hadn’t yet looked at him, instead she was gushing about the music to the friend who had just joined her. Had the other joined the young woman any earlier, Taerae would have known in an instant that it was in fact you: the pink hair of your best friend and co-worker a dead giveaway. The two of you a duo Taerae found difficulty in separating, even during the days of you dating.

Chaehyun was whispering something in your ear, which made you laugh a little louder than you had anticipated, a hand coming to cover your mouth as you snickered in slight embarrassment. More than once had Taerae witnessed an interaction similar to this one, and looking at you now, made his heart ache with longing.

But he understood that that was something he wouldn’t be able to see again. He knew that he couldn’t really love you the way you deserved to be loved, so he wouldn’t try.

In the past, Taerae had always felt he was good at expressing himself. You had always promised him to get better at things, to learn the love Taerae needed. Without missing a day, you had told him you loved him. Sometimes first thing in the morning, sometimes it was the last thing he heard when he fell asleep. You had always thought of Taerae first, he had been the most important thing in your life, and Taerae had been well aware of this fact, you had told him more than once. Yet you still didn’t put pressure on the young man, you waited patiently on him in every sense. Maybe Taerae hadn’t been so good at expressing his feelings, maybe you had been the one very aware of your own feelings along.  

Watching you from afar, he wondered if you thought of him as much as he did of you. He wondered if everything the two of you had been, was something of the past to you, or if everything, if he, was still present in your life, if he still was something you had to consider, even if it was just to avoid him successfully.

*

The warm wind grazed over you, as it did Taerae, sending your hair flying in its direction. Your head turned towards the young man standing more than a few metres away from you, gaze fixed upon you. It took you some time to remember to not stretch out your arm and wave at him in greeting. It took you even longer to remember not to make your way towards the boy to greet him with a soft kiss on the cheek.

It also took some time for Taerae to not expect any of this from happening; looking at you now, you were a stranger he still loved.

But looking at him now, you realized he was a stranger you once loved. And thus, a small smile made its way onto your face as you turned away, interlocking your arms with your friend, and walking off into the direction of your workplace.

*

To Taerae it had always been interesting how people forgot, once it was over, once it was done. But Taerae would never forget what it was like to love you. He would never forget what it was like to be loved by you. How it was beautiful, how you were beautiful. Taerae would aways remember, he could simply never forget. Maybe someday, he would be fortunate enough to remind you again.

yay!! you made it to the end!! i hope that you were able to enjoy it despite the somewhat sad ending!! thank you again for reading and i’d love to hear your thoughts on it!! love youuuu

this piece was written by @yourstruleejn so please don’t post on any other platforms or translate into any other languages! thank u !!!

[highvern]

DISCLAIMER: anything marked M for mature contains explicit sexual content. content warnings are listed at the beginning of each fic.

💫 = personal favorite!

see results for kwon soonyoung!

Doctor, Doctor

g: roommate au! s: Hoshi decides to scare you with his Halloween mask and things don't go as planned. wc: ~200

Use Me [M]

g: established relationship s: Trying something new with your boyfriend has better results than you thought. Even if not everything goes according to plan. wc: ~1.5k

Leather [M]

g: established relationship s: based on this video. wc: ~1.5k

Burnt Coffee

g: firefighter! hoshi x gn! cafe owner reader s: Running a cafe hadn’t been as glamorous as you initially believed. You loved your job; the cozy aroma of the different roasts, the hum of the espresso machine, the foam art you tediously practiced until a cute bear face stared back from the surface of a cappuccino. But any new shop comes with quirks, like the fire alarm that goes off almost every morning. Luckily, the fire station is just across the street and you unknowingly have one of the fireman wrapped around your finger. wc: ~100

💫 Houdini [M]

g: strangers to lovers, emotionally constipated reader x lover boy hoshi s: Hooking up with a guy that may or may not have a tiger fetish turns your life upside down. Navigate the highs and lows of a relationship with Soonyoung though a series of vignettes. wc: 40k+ Status: ongoing

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[mybworlds]

CHAPTER 4

status: ongoing

pairing: joel miller x f!reader

summary: your life is full of 'must'. You live with your overprotective mother who controls every aspect of your life. You have a dream, to write romance novels, but love - real love - you haven't found yet. Your mother has even decided what you must do in your free time: play music. One day, however, when you go to your music teacher's house, you will have an unexpected encounter and from that day on things change…

rating: 18+ explicit (minors, DNI)

Masterlist

Before to start... thank you for your support and likes, and please remember English is not my first language, so be kind!

Thanks @vase-of-lilies for the banner

The following day, you start your shift at 6 A.M. It's freezing. People come in with gloves, hats, thick scarves and snow boots.

"It's going to be a tough shift." says Helen, one of your few close friends "I lit the fire, but it seems to be a wiring problem." she adds with a snort, while you turn on the various equipments, detach the arm of the coffee machine, and you start cleaning and maintenance everything.

"Don't worry. Surely things will improve in a while," you say in a vain attempt to think positive and think that everything can't ever be all bad.

"A large coffee." says one of the first customers. You quickly prepare everything and serve it.

"A cappuccino." says someone else.

"A coffee with vodka." you're practically spinning like a top.

It's almost 7 A. M. and you find yourself yawning, tired. Maybe due to your hard shift and the night spent thinking about those sweet dark eyes and that face that somehow bewitched you.

"Didn' sleep?" asks a voice while you're yawning that forces you to cover your mouth and eye-popping.

It's Joel.

A gnns-like response comes out of your mouth that makes him smile.

"What are you doing here?" you ask him. It's an obvious question considering you are in a coffee shop.

"I'd like a coffee." he replies shrugging his shoulders.

Only then, you look at him more carefully, his dark curly hair messed up as if he just run his hand through his hair, he is wearing a dark jacket and dark pants.

"Comin' right up." you say running behind the counter, your hands trembling.

"So, you work here?" he asks sitting on a stool on the other side of the counter.

"Yes." you reply, looking at the coffee grinder into which you drop the mixture.

You feel his eyes follow you every step of the way, and you feel uncomfortable for the first time. It's something practically every customer does, but if it's Joel, well it's different. It's not the first time he does, he did it yesterday in class too, but it's different here in your workplace. It's as if he's entered a personal sphere of you, and allowing him to look inside makes you feel like violated.

You shake your head, it's just a job and he's just a customer you're making coffee, nothing more.

Helen looks first at you and then at him, then back at you with a complicit and amused look and serves breakfast to another customer.

"Nice place." he says looking around "Are croissants fresh?" he asks you.

"Given the temperature they'll be frozen!" you exclaim smiling looking in his direction and making him chuckle.

"Good one!" he agrees "Actually, it's freezing here." he adds looking around.

"The heating system isn't working properly today!" interjects Helen.

Joel looks at her with raised eyebrows, then his eyes wander over her and you "Just today or even past few days?" he asks as he gets up from his stool.

"It's … at least three days," you say shrugging your shoulders.

"And you work here in a freezer!" he bursts out shaking his head "When you call someone to fix it?! You'll catch a pneumonia, girls," he adds.

"It's okay, we're kids," you reply using an offended tone.

"Where's the boiler? I'll take a look." says Joel looking around.

"Don't worry, you don't have to." you say, at the same time Helen says, "Over there, behin' the door."

Joel thanks her and walks away, you shoot your friend a disapproving look "What?" she asks.

"Why did you tell him to do that?"

"Is there anything you want to tell me?" she asks you, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow. You hate when she assumes that pose.

"He's my music teacher, okay?" you tell her looking to the door where Joel walked in.

"He looks like someone who knows what's up," she says.

You nod, pursing your lips.

"And he's very handsome too," she adds.

"Stop it!" you claim, widening your eyes.

"Are you jealous?" she asks giving you a little nudge.

"What? No. He's not my type." you reply, although you realize you can't tell or be absolutely certain.

"That's everyone's type." she winks at you, "If I introduced him to Gina, she would probably give him a blowjob by now."

"Ssshhh!" you shut her "Not now and not here. It bothers me when you talk openly about these things!"

Helen laughs winking at you "Go and see if your non-type needs help or a hand."

You glare at her before stepping out from behind the counter and going to see.

"May I come in?" you say softly, opening the door; Joel is right back there. His gaze is so absorbed that he gives you an almost stern look, but then in a few seconds he gives you a gentle and sweet look "How's it going? Can you figure it out?"

He gives you a little smile and replies, "This is a small part of my job. You know, among other things, I like to carve wood and make small sculptures. I think you watched 'em." you nod, remembering about those small wood carvings reproducing animals.

"Is there anything you're not good at?" you ask smiling at him and making him smile.

"There are many things I can't do."

"Give me an example."

"The way you prepared coffee, the best I can do is to put in a waffle."

You smile, shaking your head, "It's very simple instead. You'd learn immediately with a little practice."

He smiles again to turn his attention back to the boiler, you see him intent on tightening the bolts with a tool that you never seen the point or its specific name. You watch his big hands and feel a strange sensation to think about how they can be so gentle playing a guitar and so strong fixing a boiler.

"That's it! Everything should work now, go turn it on." you do it immediately "Good and now let's have breakfast!" he exclaims "Ah, wait a minute where is the bathroom? I need to wash my hands." he says.

You point to a door on the left so he can use the bathroom.

You, meanwhile, return behind the counter; two more customers have arrived who fortunately want a coffee only and leave.

After a while, Joel returns with a huge smile and sits on the same stool as before.

"Before you mentioned about the croissants," he says, "What's today's flavor?"

"Cream croissant, croissant with apricot, cherry cornetti, chocolate croissant, simple croissant. If I may suggest, I recommend a honey cornetto, it's heavenly." you say with a smile.

He smiles looking in your eyes, "Have you tried it? From the look on your face I'd say so."

You get close placing your forearms on the counter so you can be very close to him "Well, I can tell you, I stole it once and that was my lunch. It was the best thing about that day."

Only then, you realize you got too close, swallowing hard, you're mesmerized by those melted chocolate eyes.

"All right. Let's go with Honey cornetto." he says without breaking eye contact with you "Two."

You smile back at him, returning his gaze and moving away from him to take the croissants "You eat 'em now?"

"No, thank you. Could ya put 'em in a bag?" he asks you.

You just nod with a little smile.

"When are you going to dip his fingers in your honey jar?" Helen asks you in an ear making your eyes roll.

"Helen!" you exclaim, pushing her.

"Thank God he was boring! I'd like someone like him would teach me something every day," she says glancing at Joel.

"Helen, stop it! And then lower your voice, don't make a bad impression!" you exclaim in shock.

"I'm making these appreciations, not you!" she retorts with a complicit smile "Besides, judging by the way you've approached and the way he's staring at you dumbfounded…my guess is there's something going on!"

"Stop it!" you exclaim, turning away from her and approaching Joel.

"Tonight you tell us everything," she adds as a threat.

You look back at her and slip out something like I kill you, she smiles naively and goes back to work.

When you look at Joel, you realize he is watching you with curiosity "Are you okay? Did your friend say too much?"

Gotcha.

"Yes." you immediately try to change the topic giving him the croissants "She's like that, so what - what are we going to do later?" you ask him.

"What did she tell you that was so special to make you blush like that?" he persists.

"Um, no, nothing. You'd laugh, maybe," you answer evasively.

"About you? I don't think so." he says without looking away from you and grabbing the bag you are handing him "Go ahead!"

You widen your eyes "Um…" if it's possible you blush even more "no, it's nothing. Um, I was just falling before with some coffee and croissants, that's all." you say without sharing a look.

You're absolutely sure he didn't believe your answer, but he decides not to ask more questions.

So much better!

When you leave the bar at the end of your shift, you find Joel's SUV outside. He honks his horn and you pull up, open the door, and immediately you are greeted by the hot air conditioning in the cabin and that warm smile that has been accompanying your days recently.

"Hi." you say as you relax into the seat.

"Hi." he says and then pulls off his gloves and leans toward you and, in a gesture that surprises you greatly, takes your hands in his. His hands are so big that yours feel like a child's by comparison. His are so warm, so….

You almost feel like you're coming short of that feeling, that warmth, and not just physical; something warms inside you. Something unfamiliar that makes your heart flutter once again.

"Good thing, I can feel you've been warm," he comments, smiling at you and making you smile.

"Yes, well a guy came today. He wanted to have breakfast, but then he had the goodness to fix the boiler!" you exclaim jokingly about the episode.

"Oh yeah?" he asks you "Do I know him?" he adds mockingly, turning away from you.

"Um, I think so, you know," you say "He's a good man, confident, witty, smart."

"He seems like a clever guy." he remarks, releasing the hand brake and putting on the right-hand blinker.

"Yes. Although he does everything to seem obnoxious," you tease him.

"So, I must know him, we'll get along fine!" he exclaims, smiling and turning his gaze toward you.

See him so relaxed and happy warms your heart.

You share a serene and happy look, a look that makes your stomach clench in a so new and so unique feeling.

"Besides, if he goes to that place, he definitely drinks the best coffee in town!" he exclaims, making you blush.

"It's due to the mixture, it's not me," you whisper, lowering your gaze.

He calls your name and you look up meeting his eyes "Never look down. You're a good kid, you're sweet, you're polite, you lack nothing to be less than others." he reminds you making you feel special for a moment, you who have always been like a fish out of water, out of place, partly because of your manly nature and partly because of how your mother treats you. You always thought that no one appreciates you beyond your dullness.

You smile at him, "Thank you."

He smiles "And then I like your sweetness mixed with the will to fight all the time." he says reaching out a hand to your face and caressing your cheek with the back of his hand in a very sweet gesture.

"You're perfect just the way you're." he tells you, making you widen your eyes in wonder. You are almost shocked by his words.

"I don't… I don't know what to say."

And it's true, you don't know what to say. What do you say when someone - someone like him - tells you that you're perfect just the way you are?

He smiles at you, "Don't say anything."

You don't really know why your eyes rest on his lips, they're so perfect, they're -- you've never wanted a kiss like in that moment. You've already kissed or, rather, been kissed a couple of times at school, but the feeling wasn't as good or romantic as you would have liked or hoped, and most of all maybe the two boys weren't people you'd want to kiss as much as you'd want to kiss Joel Miller right now.

A horn honks not so far from you breaking that flow of thoughts and bringing Jack back to your mind.

You'd like to know Jack, you feel there may be a connection with him, but at the same time you want to know Joel and you enjoy his company.

You remain almost silent on the road to his house, or at least you think you are going there, you just give each other long silent glances.

You don't know how it's possible, but between the you of you it's growing a singular and curious relationship in such a short time, it's so natural, so willing. You feel as if you're crossed by unexpected and unfamiliar shocks that shake and shock you at the same time. Joel is this shock, his warm dark eyes, his hypnotic gaze, his smile or even just that little grin that ripples one corner of his mouth creating those extremely sexy wrinkles.

You never thought you'd look at wrinkles as something sexy in a man. But as you've had occasion to think several times these days, Joel is an exception.

"Can I ask you something?" he says breaking the silence.

"Sure." you answer, looking at him.

"Why did you treat me that way when we first met?"

You remember the feeling you got at first sight, a fine - looking man, dark eyes, grim look at first and then curious, hands on hips, but most of all the way he talked to you, sharply and most of all he hurt your feelings.

"Hear those words like get back to your bubble or hurry back to Mommy … they … kind of shook me up, that is. No one had ever spoken to me like that, no one had hurt me like that in that tone," you answer him.

"And did I?" he asks you.

"Yes." you decide to be honest. It hurt you. "That's why I used that tone with you." you see him nod "Do you still think I'm a little thing that just shuts up and keeps quiet?"

He looks at you with a half-smile "'m I wrong or I called you pretty little thing, ain't I?"

You look away and observe the landscape outside, realizing you left the town "Where are we going?"

"Into the woods." he replies, you look at him with curiosity "I'm still the big bad wolf." he adds laughing and making you shake your head with a half-smile.

Maybe you shouldn't trust him. Your mother always told you not to trust strangers, never to accept anything from them, never to get in the car with any of them.

With Joel it's different, too. A bad person wouldn't fixed the boiler, wouldn't waited for your mother to pick you up, wouldn't said those nice words to you like he did.

You don't know much about it, but you know you can trust him.

"Scared?" he asks, looking at you briefly and then looking back toward the road.

You shake your head "No, curious."

He smiles, you are sure he is smiling. You, on the other hand, observe the road covered - and getting covered - with snow.

It's true. With him, you are not afraid.

You are agitated, yes, but it is an agitation different from fear and worry. It is something new that you have never experienced, but that you intend to discover, and you can only do so if you are next to him.

"Aren't you afraid to drive in this weather?" you ask him sincerely curious.

"I've driven in hail, with sheets of ice on the road, no one has ever stopped me," he answers you with the wink of someone who knows better.

You swallow.

Why do you get the feeling he's not just talking about the weather?

You breathe deeply.

"I need to give you a few more lessons, I guess." he says causing you to turn suddenly in his direction "I was talking about driving lessons." he clarifies probably noticing your shocked look.

You swallow again.

You feel like an idiot.

Now he'll have bad thoughts about you, he'll start to think you're just a stupid, inexperienced, useless little girl.

"Okay." you just say.

"Don't." he says pressing very slightly on the brake pedal.

"What?"

"Don't think badly of you." he replies in an obvious tone as if he can reads your mind even though you didn't expose your thoughts "You'll learn. Everyone does. Why shouldn't ya?"

He told you a lot of things since you met, all beautiful things that warm your heart and soul. How strange life is! Until a few days ago you believed your whole life would always unfold with a precise, regular cadence and that nothing would ever interrupt that predetermined flow. Then, Joel arrived and with him so many words, so many special situations, so many looks you never received before.

You're sure, he's just nice, maybe he's like that with everyone. After all, you don't know anything about him!

The car stops.

You are in front of a very small cabin in the woods with a sloping roof and a chimney. You get out with a giant smile forgetting about ice and indeed, as soon as you put your feet outside of the car you slip sideways.

"Are you hurt?" asks Joel coming toward you putting your hands and helping you up.

You don't know if your knee hurts more or your already weak ego.

"No." you reply, but a grimace appears on your face immediately unveiling you.

"Doesn't look like that to me." he says looking at your legs "Stop here, 'm going to open it." he says moving away.

"I'm good, don't worry," you tell him, but after a half step, your face winces into another grimace of pain.

You hear him open the door then he turns around "You're such a stubborn little thing!" he exclaims.

He makes to duck, but you block him by placing your hands on his forearms "What are you doing?"

"I'm taking you inside." he replies and without adding anything else, he lifts you up in his arms and with great strides you go inside. His grip is firm, holding you by the shoulders and popliteal cord. Your heart speeds up.

It lays you on what you feel is a chair. You see nothing, everything is dark. You see only the light coming through the door. You hear him open the windows and the light invades the interior, which, judging by the smell, had not been opened in several years. All the furniture and armchairs are covered with more or less large sheets, there is even one on the floor not far from you, and you sense that the chair on which you now stand was also covered. You see him walk over to the door and close it.

"I'm sorry for the mess, but…" you see him looking around and see him intent on removing the sheets, you notice small knick-knacks and also some pictures "it's been a long time since I've been here." he approaches you "How do ya feel?" he kneels before you laying a hand on your knee.

"Well, it hurts a little," you answer him with a small grimace on your face "I'm sorry."

"Don't even joke!" he says gently taking your chin between thumb and forefinger with his other hand "It happens." he adds and then lets your chin out of his grip "You helped me come here and…" he looks around swallowing "well, thank you."

You look at him quizzically "I didn't do anything. You drove all the way here, you brought me here. I…didn't…"

He whispers and looks you in the eyes "Okay, maybe I need to explain… this was my parents' house and for a while I lived with…" he lowers his gaze taking a deep breath "since it happened, I haven't… I never came back here and I moved to the town." you nod as if you understood, actually you didn't understand much. Something bothers him, and you think it probably has something to do with the little girl in the picture or the woman who broke his heart. You don't tell him, however, that you know about who you think is his daughter, he might get furious and maybe throw you out of that cabin and with your knee in that condition you'd have trouble walking.

"What's bothering you?" you ask him, looking into his eyes.

He looks down, he's about to say something, but then he thinks better of it, you see him swallow and tighten his grip slightly on your knee. It doesn't hurt, but it makes you feel odd, an unfamiliar tingling.

"Time." he replies, "Have you ever had that, in spite of everything, time is running ahead of you and all you can do is go on, in spite of everything? Even if your heart and soul are broken, time, things go on anyway." he says taking a sad expression "I don't think I can accept it."

You let him talk by listening to him and trying to tell him what you can tell, you don't know what exactly happened and you don't want to upset him even more.

"If you want to talk, I'm listening," you tell him, stroking his hair in a spontaneous gesture. He looks at you and you stay like that, speechless, maybe he's bothered by the gesture, maybe he liked it, you can't understand his look. You stop immediately that pat not knowing if it bothered him or not, "I'm sorry if I off…" your words are interrupted as Joel comes dangerously close to your face, his forehead against your.

You raise an eyebrow, heart in your throat.

What's going on?

Your mouth is dry, you swallow vacuum.

You're in a complete silence that he can probably hear the beat of your heart, it beats fast, very fast. You're so inexperienced that you don't know what the next move is, well if you'd have a clear situation, you'd waited for a kiss from him, but you don't known him, you know nothing about each other.

He knows about you that you are a young woman caged by an apprehensive mother, and you about him that he's a very lonely man, but with a big heart. Is that enough?

Of course not.

But then why do you yearn for contact with his lips?

You're sure, if you'd had more experience, he would have kissed you already and…?

Oh, watch your thoughts, please!

Weren't you the one who wanted to meet the boy in the bar?

Then why are you thinking about Joel and would you like to kiss him?

Suddenly a flash of lightning, followed by a very violent clap of thunder that rattles the glass of the cabin, rips through that oh-so-perfect-yes, perfect-moment. You retreat and he does the same. You look toward the window, he gets up and goes to the window, you see him looking out, laying his hands on his hips, sighing heavily, and you see him shake his head.

Is he also thinking about how many strange moments are being created between you in such a short time?

The rain becomes torrential, then ends up as hail and finally snow. Joel looks outside several times, while you are lying on the double bed with your leg stretched out, ice packs and your head resting on the pillow. You would like to make yourself useful, but Joel has ordered you not to move. You hope with all your heart that you will soon be able to return home. You fear that your mother might return and not find you.

"I have bad news," Joel says at the door.

"What?"

"We're stuck." you swallow "I don't mind your company, but…"

"Did you try to-" you're about to say throwing yourself out of bed "AH!" you exclaim in pain.

"Stop!" he exclaims as he enters the room and comes toward you "You certainly for the time being better not rest your leg or walk on it! I'll take care of you." a warm feeling spreads in your chest "For the night I'll sleep on the couch and you here…"

"No way, your house, your bed."

"A lady always sleeps in the bed." you swallow "Seriously, I sleep over there."

"That couch can't hold me, how will it hold you?" you ask him sincerely concerned.

"Then I'll sleep on the floor, a safe sleeping bag is there somewhere," he says looking around and opening the closets. He picks up a thick red and green wool blanket and is about to leave the room, you stop him.

"Joel, I mean it. I'll sleep over there. Please don't make me feel like a burden." you say getting up anyway feeling a great pain in your knee.

He sighs heavily, shakes his head and comes toward you again "You are not a burden. You're a beautiful girl, you're so sweet, you're -- " you look into each other's eyes for a long time.

Why doesn't he speak?

What is he thinking about?

He looks away, "Nothing, um, never mind. Don't move, just lie back down. I'll get you more ice."

"If you open the door you'll find some fresh!" you exclaim.

He turns to you with a small smile, a smile you return with an amused air, then walks away.

Only then do you find yourself swallowing hard and realizing your heart is pounding. Is it not that you are beginning to like your music teacher?