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#peter parker is a little shit
xozombiee · 1 year
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nerd | p. parker.
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warnings: praise, peter parker’s abs, fingering, marking, kissing, nerd kink😶…, dirty talk?, boring nerd facts
synopsis: peter finds out you’re secretly turned on by his intelligence and uses it against you.
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study nights like this weren’t unusual. peter sitting by your side while your sat with your legs crossed next to him. text books were scattered across your bed since he was helping you study for a chemistry quiz that was this friday.
you shut the book with a huff, turning to the boy next to you. “i’m bored.”
peter looks up from his book, “you wanna take a break?” he asks.
you nod in reply, jumping off the bed. you stretch, your shirt rising up in the process which makes the spider boys face turn pink. you smiled, “you hungry? i can make some food real quick.”
“maybe later. we should take a break for a few then get back to studying.” he suggested.
you let out an exasperated whine, falling back into your rolling chair. “whyyyy? i hate studying. it’s so boring.” you argued.
“you said it yourself. you cant fail this test.” he replied. you frowned. “well not everyone is as smart as you, pete.”
“i’m not that smart.”
“yes you are! you have so many awards! and you’re like…awesome at everything!” you told him, making him smile.
“you’re actually so smart…it’s kinda hot.” you grumbled like an old man. peters ears perked at your words.
“hot?”
“yes, it’s hot!” you yelled, spinning the chair away from him.
peter took a moment to think. you were obviously embarrassed about it. so was there was more to the story? he smirked to himself as he thought of an idea.
he stood up from his spot, getting close to your ear, “did you know there’s enough dna in the average persons body to stretch to the sun to pluto and back—seventeen times.” peter whispered.
“seventeen?” you mumbled, turning your head to his.
“yeah. and, the earth has a mass of five point nine seven times ten to the power of twenty four kilograms.” he smiled.
you stared at him, eyes shifting to his lips every two seconds before you finally pulled the collar of his t-shirt. your lips connected. peters hands grabbed your hips, steadying himself above you. you stood from the chair, walking to the bed. lips disconnecting for a breath of air. your hands were pushing the text books onto the floor.
your knees met the mattress, your weight sinking it in as you sat. you wiggled your hips as you crawled across the bed. peter stared at you like you were the millennium falcon lego set you had gotten him for christmas. he was absolutely so in love.
he followed behind you, dragging your hips back to him. you squirmed in surprise, watching peter grin at you. his fingers played with the hem of your shorts and you were practically begging for him to take them off.
“is this okay?” he asked, tugging them to your thighs.
you nodded desperately, making him smile to himself. after taking your shorts off, all to be seen were the cute cotton flower panties you wore underneath them. a small damp patch was covering the middle, making all the blood in peter shoot down his body.
opened mouth kisses were placed along down your torso, “did you know a cloud can weigh about a million pounds.” he said between each kiss.
you felt insane for being turned on by this.
“peter..”you sighed, wrapping a hand in his brown locs.
“baby?” he replied. his eyes stared up at you, watching as you looked as if you were about to faint.
“need you…now.” you whispered. you just want him to stop teasing you and start pleasing you. feeling his breath near your core was driving you insane.
hands trace against the inside of your thighs, sending shivers up your spine. peter pushes the fabric that covered your cunt to the side, putting two fingers inside of you and curling them as he does, making you moan.
“peter.” you barely say below your breath, holding onto his bicep.
“shhh..baby. let me take care of you.” he said against the skin of your collarbone. you whispered in reply.
his kisses were so light against your neck. if you hadn’t known it was him, you would’ve thought a butterfly had landed onto your throat, fluttering peacefully. his trail of kisses moved down to your chest, then eventually to your stomach again.
“pretty girl..my pretty girl.” he muttered.
you cupped your mouth with your hand, muffling the cries of your voice. you couldn’t let your roommate hear, or your other colleagues down in the other dorms.
peter noticed the hand covering your mouth. he took the hand occupying your insides, removing it and pulling yours away.
“don’t get shy on me now.” he pouted.
your legs closed from the loss of touch, hoping for some friction as you rubbed them. peter brought his lips close to your ear, pushing your hair away from your face.
“i know you think about this all the time. it’s so obvious from the way you stare.” he says.
your eyes squeeze shut, “peter, please..”
“please what?”
you get quite at the next part, but thanks to peters enhanced senses he heard what you said clearly. 
“always.” he replied. you watched as he ripped his own shirt off, his abs coming into sight. god he was fine. he pulled back your underwear, watching as it tickled down your thighs.
peter entered slowly, bottoming out. for several moments, the bedroom was silent, apart from your panting. your eyes couldn't leave his figure.
you reached a hand up to push several strands of hair out his eyes. he pulled almost all the way out before thrusting back in, making you throw your head back.
fuck you were gorgeous with your head thrown back against the pillow, back arched. it wasn't the first time peter had seen such a sight. hell, he’d even took pictures and videos of it for himself.
"gonna fill you up, pretty." you nodded, the corners of your vision beginning to blur from the intense pleasure. 
you could feel the spark of your insides begin to light, almost as if it was about to go off. you were so close. “peter.”
“yeah?”
“close.”
peter grabbed your hips, adjusting them to his. he picked his pace up, making your brain fuzzy. the circles he was tracing on your clit added to the pleasure he was submerging you in. your fists grabbed the sheets as if they were going to save you from this animal of a man.
You were incoherent as you came, only whines mixed with slurred chants of his name leaving your mouth. peter followed quickly behind you; a whimper leaving his lips.
peter relaxed against you, his head falling against your chest. you laughed softly as his curls tickled your skin. “fuck.” you breathed.
“yeah, fuck.” he grinned.
the two of you laughed, holding each other tightly. the room was soon filled with silence once more. it was comfortable. as always.
“yknow..the world record for the most female orgasms is one hundred and thirty four in one hour. i bet we can beat that.” peter winked.
the room was silent.
a loud cackle was heard from below him, which is where you were laying.
“why the fuck do you know that?”
@xozombiee2022
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moritashie · 1 year
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We've all heard abour Peter jokingly/sarcastically calling Tony out on his dad like behavior by something along the lines of:
"Sure, Dad."
But hear me out; Bio-Peter calling Tony per "Mr. Stark" whenever the man does something overly business-y.
.
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spidergrotto · 4 months
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foster/adopted peter au.
peter logging into his official twitter, or any social media really, was becoming increasingly rare.
he didn’t really enjoy the publicity, it was fun every now and then— but everyone agreed that it’d be best to monitor how much time he spends interacting with the media.
but when he did it meant one of two things, either peter is really— REALLY bored and ned had convinced him to log back in for shits and giggles.
or tony had pissed him off and in retaliation peter would do something— post something that would drive his parents and the PR team insane. sometimes he’d post an embarrassing story or picture of tony, other times he would tweet out the most absurd things.
@ peterparker: lol i stole captain america’s shield again sorry america
@ peterparker: spark expo tickets drop tonight.”
@ peterparker: the avengers need to be given a leave of absence.”
@ peterparker: what would you guys do if i told you i was spiderman.
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marvel-lous-guy · 2 years
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Steve: what were you arrested for in college, again, Tony? Oh, that's right! It was for throwing so many parties and underage drinking
Tony: I was arrested for being cool
Peter: The charges were dropped due to lack of supporting evidence
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yes-i-am-happyaspie · 7 months
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Tony's old. His back hurts, and Peter's a little shit™️ 😂
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kyuyua · 1 year
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“…stop it.”
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frostironfudge · 1 year
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Melting At Your Touch - Peter Parker
Summary: Your boyfriend, Peter brings in something special and sensual.
Pairing: Peter Parker x Fem!Reader
Word Count: 897
Warnings: main kink: wax play, smut, p in v, oral fem receiving, d/s dynamics, nicknames - peach, grinding, fingering, edging, praise kink, sensual massage, note all characters are 18+ in the fic, MINORS DNI.
A.N: @stevesmewmew here is Mr. Parker for you
Main Masterlist || AO3 || Kinktober Materlist
The scent of amber awakens the senses mixed with a soft lavender. The flickering hue of the candles coat the walls with the same soothing sizzle of the wick as he blows the flame out. 
The warm liquid pours on your abdomen before rivulets form heating your skin in the direction of their choosing. A warm hand moves the warm oil in circles gently massaging it into your skin. You whimper when his pelvis rubs against your puffy cunt.
He carefully tweaks a nipple and then pours the wax onto the taut nub, you hiss, then his thumb brushes over, circling around your nipple, your lips part, 
“Peter.” You moan as he bites on the other nipple, tugging on it. 
“I know Peach, I know.” His tongue swirls around your nipple before he pours more wax each drop heating your skin and sending jolts through you and to your aching, dripping core. 
He sets the candle aside, the glass softly scrapes against the bedside table. Both of his hands giving you complete attention, soft, deep, smooth strokes igniting your skin he cups your breasts. 
“So fucking beautiful, Peach. I can see you dripping for me. Can almost taste you too.” Peter hums pleased with your body’s response, hands move over your side around your hips, he lights the candle again to melt more wax. 
His hold returns to your hips, lifting and holding you flush against his hips, hard covered cock rubbing against your folds you cry out for him. 
Peter chuckles, head dipping to capture your lips in a heady kiss, hands lower your hips down and his right hand slides up your side, moving under you, over your back, you moan into the kiss as he massages the still tender spot from his earlier teasing touches. 
The slickness between your folds beckoning him closer. You whined for him but Peter doesn’t relent. 
He breaks the kiss to check on the candle pleased with the amount of liquid accumulated. Lips trail your neck, your fingers tug on his hair. 
“Peter, need you.” You whisper, he nips at the flesh under your earlobe. 
“I need you too, Peach, just a while more.” He cautions, parting from your skin.
The candle wick blown out, your limbs shake when the liquid comes into contact with your inner thighs, his palm slides toward where you need him but he stops, repeating the action on the same side. 
Then the trail of liquid is on your shins and around your ankles. He sets the candle down again. Slow, languid, circles from your calf to the back of your thighs. 
You sigh, then Peter’s lips suck upon your clit you cry out, he smirks. 
“So fucking sweet, fuck the scent just enhances yours Peach, want to be marked by you, claimed by you.” He says, lapping at your folds as if a starved man. 
Your fingers find his brown locks, tugging and drawing him close, his name a prayer falling from your tongue. 
The embers of pleasure begin to climb up your spine, toes curling, Peter growls hands around your hips drawing you closer, nose brushing over your clit. You cry out as the pleasure overtakes your body. 
Head thrown back in ecstasy as Peter has you fall apart for him. He moans as you coat his tongue, lips and face, his ministrations don’t stop, you begin to feel the tendrils again. 
“Peter, Peter, Peter,” Your mouth goes slack then you whine but immediately moan as he slides home into you, groaning at the way your cunt squeezes his cock. 
“Fuck, Peach, you feel so fucking good. Such a good girl for me, so pretty, so perfect.” He begins to thrust, your hands find his shoulder and back, nails digging in, Peter shifts closer, your hips raised legs wrapped around his waist. 
Moans intertwined, momentarily he stops again, flipping you over, the angle has you feel him deeper and hit the spot that has you seeing stars and crying out for him, he raises you up. 
Not slowing his thrusts, one hand playing with your clit and the other twisting your nipple, your orgasm crashes into you, squeezing his cock with your spasming walls. Your hands wrap around his shoulders, moving to his hair as you moan at his words,
“That’s it Peach, can feel me everywhere can’t you? Don’t worry, I’ll fill all your pretty little holes tonight.” He promises. 
“One more peach one fucking more.” He roars, greedy to have you fall apart once more, to have you mark his cock before he claims your cunt. 
His fingers move with precision and speed, you come undone as the sensations have your jaw slack, he thrusts once, twice, biting down on your shoulders as his hips stutter spilling his warm seed into you. 
Your eyes droop, breathing hard as you return to his gentle touches and encouraging words. 
“Here with me Peach?” He questions, pressing a soft kiss to your temple when your hoarse voice verbalises, yes. 
He slowly retreats from you, pulling you against his chest holding the water for you. 
“That felt, good.” You admit, he grins. 
“Now will you let me take over candle shopping time to time?” He teases, you hide your face in his neck. 
“How many more scents are there?” You ask. 
Peter smirks, “Five more, we’ve got time to try all, my sweet Peach.” 
-x-
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rahhhhhhhbrobro · 2 years
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peter parker has like 7 playlists on spotify all dedicated to his different patrolling moods.
and considering he probably does not want to pay for the premium, he probably gets the adds all the time during patrol.
imagine if he was trying to run away from getting shot, and his headphones just blast "WANT A BRAKE FROM THE ADDS?"
and he like jumps on a wall like a cat in fear
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pandagirl45 · 9 months
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Peter:...so your dad gave your dad Rizzoli?
Harley: *kicks Peter chair out from under him*
Peter: *laughing*
Shuri: rizzed up on a tuesday
Harley: I'm quitting the team! *stomps off then comes back* and Bucky rizzed up Tony you plebians! *stops off*
Wade: *laughing with peter*
Kamala: that is so much information I didn't need *giggles a little*
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trans-marvel-fan · 2 years
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*Talking about Peter*
Fury: “I’ve created a well balanced superhero.”
Maria: “You’ve ruined a perfectly good teenage genius is what you’ve done. Look at it, it’s got anxiety.”
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brooklynvtc · 1 year
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‘Spider-Who?’ by brooklynvtc (A Spider-Man Amnesia Story)
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Please go read it, vote, and leave a comment so that it gains traction, I’m begging you!!!
Title: ‘Spider-Who?’ by brooklynvtc
Summary: Set after Spider-Man: Homecoming; While out on patrol, Peter gets into an accident that leaves him helpless in an alleyway. What happens when a certain redhead finds him and quickly realizes that 'The Amazing Spider-Man' doesn't even remember who he is? *Amnesia* *Slow-burn romance*
Pairing: Peter Parker/Mary Jane Watson
Tags: *Slow Burn Romance*, *So Many Villain References*, *Satisfying Build-Up To Fights*, *Mystery - Who Is The Big Man?*, *Peter Parker Is A National Treasure*, *Spider-Man Has Some Snark*
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mysticartist · 1 year
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I'm concerned about my love for Peter Parker homeless fanfiction
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rouxthewriter · 1 year
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Don't bleed on my carpet - P. Parker
Pairing: Billionaire!Peter x Fem!Reader
Word Count: 3367
Warnings: little blood (small injury)
3/3 chapters (complete)
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You and Peter lost contact after High School and reconnect at the reunion 10 years later. Coincidentally, your soul-mark decides to act up from the moment you get there.
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marvel-lous-guy · 2 years
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Peter: *walking up the wall*
Tony: *screams* You're on the wall!
Peter: Really? I hadn't noticed,  thank you for pointing that out
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fic-ive-read · 1 year
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Link To The Fic
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dyslexic-gremlin · 1 year
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Goose is the Best Emotional Support [ch. 6]
Read on AO3!
Chapter title: Wanda Maximoff
Summary: Carol decides to leave Goose with Peter when she's needed for an away mission. During the weekend he has her, Peter shows Goose off to the other people at the Avengers Compound. Some of the reactions are mixed, but how can you not love such an adorable kitty?
Notes: Basically just a bunch of fluff with Goose and Peter hanging out with people.
Main characters: Peter Parker, Goose, Wanda Maximoff
Important tags: Fluff (that's it)
Word count: 947
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Saturday, 3:45 PM
Wanda sighed to herself as she walked around the grounds of the compound after one of her bi-weekly meditation sessions. It had been almost three months since she started training with the Sorcerer Supreme, and along with traditional physical training she also had to suffer sit through meditation. Despite her complaints, however, she couldn’t deny the improvement she’d seen was impressive.
Even with the differences in their magicks, Doctor Strange had been successful in helping Wanda build her control. It was slow going and required a lot more self-reflection than Wanda had assumed, but if it was what she had to go through in order to do better, she would.
She had felt more in control than ever, and magical outbursts that happened due to emotions were almost non-existent (they still happened, sadly. On her really bad days when grief and guilt consumed her. But it took a considerable amount more than it used to). As her control strengthened, so did her output level. She was able to do more and more as each month passed.
The witch (now that she was doing proper training that title fit surprisingly well) stretched her arms above her head and continued her walk to work some feeling back into her limbs. Wanda knew she’d get used to how still one became during meditation eventually, but it was still a foreign enough experience that it lingered with her.
Just as Wanda rounded the side of the compound to enter from the front (she liked speaking with the receptionist– they were close in age and both came from Eastern Europe) an orange cat scampered through an open window. The woman stopped as the feline leapt to the ground and started to calmly lick themself in the middle of Wanda’s path.
“Oh, hello,” she absently greeted, still slightly out of it due to her previous engagement. It took a moment for Wanda to comprehend the situation and, once she did, she quickly did a double-take between the cat and window.
Well, it wasn’t the weirdest thing she had run into while at the compound (an alien that resembled a raccoon and a person that looked like he was made of rocks came to mind). She didn’t have much to do with Vision in his own training session and everyone else was similarly preoccupied, so Wanda decided to postpone her chat with Ana and instead settled near the cat.
With her legs bent so she was closer to the ground, Wanda slowly extended her loosely curled fingers for the cat to sniff. Her offer caught the tabby’s attention and, with only slight hesitance, the cat leaned over to sniff Wanda’s hand.
The close proximity coupled with her recent training meant Wanda was able to glean a basic telepathic read of the animal (which shouldn’t have been as easy as it was. While she had improved, Wanda still wasn’t as good at reading the minds of beings that had a lower cognitive ability than an average human). She could tell the feline was a female, and, surprisingly, was able to catch her name.
“Hmm, Goose, huh? A very interesting name for an intriguing cat.”
As Goose dubbed Wanda worthy enough and began to rub herself against the hero’s legs, Peter appeared from around the corner. He looked stressed and worried– the teen must have had something on his mind because Peter didn’t notice the two on the ground and stumbled over them.
Out of reflex Wanda threw strings of her magic at Peter to grab him before he fell to the ground. Even if she hadn’t, Wanda knew Peter would have been able to catch himself with his reflexes.
“Sorry!” the teen exclaimed once he was settled back on his feet. “I’ve been looking for someone and didn’t see–”
Once Peter’s gaze landed on Goose he cut himself off and lunged towards the cat. Wanda had expected his movements to frighten the animal (and she also hadn’t expected that kind of action from Peter, he seemed much better with animals) but if cats could look resigned then Goose did.
Peter scooped her into his arms quickly, “There you are! I’ve been looking everywhere for you! Bucky said you left him right after you ate and if I somehow lost you Carol would kill me!”
He stoked Goose’s back a couple of times before amending his statement.
“Actually, scratch that. If I lost you I would kill myself before Carol could get to me.”
Goose let out a quiet mrrow in what seemed to be comfort as she bumped her head against Peter’s hand.
Off to the side, Wanda watched the interaction in amusement.
“So she is yours?” the witch asked and reached out herself to pet Goose (who, thankfully, allowed her to).
“No,” Peter explained, “but I’m watching her this weekend.”
Wanda made a noise of understanding and then fondness as Goose started to rub her face against Wanda’s palm.
“Then we should move inside, so Goose doesn’t make another attempted escape.”
Peter nodded in agreement and shifted his hold on the orange feline as they quickly finished the walk to the compound’s entrance. For good measure, Wanda made sure to use her powers to close the window Goose had escaped from earlier.
“Were you able to watch those videos I sent you the other day?” Peter asked.
Wanda shook her head, “I haven’t. We could watch them now?”
A large grin broke across the teen’s face in excitement as he nodded vigorously and an extra pep was put into his step.
She might not have been able to do what she had planned, but Wanda was glad she ran into the strange cat.
Chapter index: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6]
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