#philza archives

[qsmpficsarchive]

The loveliest platonic (?) husbands on the island! The death family is like no other 🖤

Nominate your favorite death duo fics here !

Today is your last chance to get your favorite fic in the voting!

Art by user k4r1m-p1nt

[royalarchivist]

Phil: Ooh, follow-up question: does Cucurucho count as an employee?

[Fred and the Security Guard look at each other]

Phil: You looked at- you looked at each other there like you had to think about it.

[Fred hands him a book that says "Yes"]

Phil: In that case, yes, but I'll change my answer. [The clip transitions to a scene a few moments later] He lies all the time-

[Fred hands him another book that says "Although I don't know who is Cucurucho."]

Phil: ...Excuse me? You don't know who Cucurucho is?

[Full transcript ↓ ]

Phil: Oh, follow-up question: does Cucurucho count as an employee?

[Fred and the Security Guard look at each other]

Phil: You looked at- you looked at each other there like you had to think about it.

[Fred hands him a book that says "Yes"]

Phil: In that case, yes, I'll change my answer. [The clip transitions to a scene a few moments later] He lies all the time-

[Fred hands him another book that says "Although I don't know who is Cucurucho."]

Phil: ...Excuse me? You don't know who Cucurucho is? [Fred shakes his head] He looks like a bear, he's got a smiley face? He talks like this: Ha ha ha. Disfruta la isla. You've never heard of him? He always shows up at really weird times. Do you call him something different?

[Fred hands him a book that says "The Census Bureau? I've never met it."]

Phil: So are the Census Bureau employees of the Federation? [Fred fidgets, but doesn't nod or shake his head] Is that a yes? Like, nod?

[Fred hands him a book that says "Anyways who's doing the interview here, you or me? Let's continue."]

Phil: I'm trying to answer your questions more accurately and you're just giving me curveballs dude!

[Fred hits him with a frying pan]

Phil: STOP WITH THE PAN, IT HURTS!

[blocky-tides]

emerald duo; you should have never shined a rusted blade and you should have never let its edge cut you (this will be your downfall, emperor)

for @antimony-medusa

{200 follower celebration request a web weave!}

slavoj žižek / marina tsvetaeva / @dogstrikes / silas denver melvin / wendy cope / @fuckingwhateverdude / @moneyoniis / @call-me-apple / anaïs nin / caroline polachek / @eekonis / jack gilbert / nicole holmer / @wolfythewitch / unknown / warsan shire / @yuker / mean girls

ambiguous smp earth au? where philza see techno, scrawny piglin who just plowing though people, across the enemy battle line and picks him up to train him up to fight for philza's side ya da ya da

eventually philza becomes emperor and decides that he doesn't need techno and throws him to metaphorically wolves (like banishment or something)

techno is like what?? i thought we were besties and philza is like no you were just a good soldier for me to use which leads to techno anarchy arc where he tears the empire down

originally it was supposed to be about techno betraying philza like what-could-have-been-canon but then i could only find art for philza betraying techno so role swap

theres also like a super minor subplot of the blood god is talking to techno joan of arc style that really kicks into gear after the betrayal

this is the more lore i have done for a web weaving but hope this made you cry medusa :D

[gambit-phelbeez]

Guardian

[my-little-versaille]

ETERNITY , DEVOTION , CARE : THE TWO IMMORTALS - An Emerald Duo Webweave

@mielificents (tumblr) / Dear Fellow Traveler - Sea Wolf / King and Lionheart - of Monsters and Men / Appollo e Giancinto - Annibale Carracci / @cirrusea (tumblr) / Rendering of Thrinaxodon and Broomistega - Vincent Fernandez / @valcaine (tumblr) / Dancing in Odessa - Ilya Kaminsky / King and Lionheart - of Monsters and Men / Dear Fellow Traveler - Sea Wolf / Treehouse - Alex G / @n0phis (tumblr) / @n0phis (tumblr) / Dear Fellow Traveler - Sea Wolf / thelist (tumblr) / @cirrusea (tumblr) / King and Lionheart - of Monsters and Men / Apollo and Hyacinth - Alexander Kiselev

Adding this on after because its purely instrumental but its. So Them. I love this song and I thought it should be included.

[fuzzysun]

Fit and Phil were looking for Chayanne (they thought he was lost) and Tubbo dropped the Chipi Chipi on the aux. Lovely.

[masked-ragdoll]

Philza/Phil

Desolation Avatar (fully realized) Disposer (destroys information, usually via fires or explosions) Code name: Phoenix Powers manifest as working flaming wings (red/orange when not in use, blue/white when flying) Main leader of the Gas Mask Cult

[q-nihachu]

[Video ID: Tallulah and Chayanne dance while Phil sings along to "Jort Storm." End ID.]

i missed them SO bad you have no idea

[genevawrenn]

To Evolutionize One Must Crumble at the Seams

[Art credit and original post is here, done by @melodyfsoul1]

Watching as the demon turns his gaze upon the terrified avian with feathers the same shade as an aurora borealis Foolish throws himself from his horse's saddle and directs it far away. Jaiden peers his way, her horror painted upon her lovely features in a masterpiece of defeated agony, and her shining onyx eyes widen as the first strike of red lightning snaps across Foolish’s skin. Looking over the edge within his heart, he leaps into the chasm letting his ancient abilities awaken as crimson tattoos flash to the surface of his skin and his long night sky tresses free themselves to blow in an invisible wind.

He takes one last look at Jaiden through the emerald eyes she felt safest in, and breaks the seal around his soul.

~~~

Foolish finds out Bad has been repeatedly killing Jaiden during Purgatory and gives into his rage.

[fundyarchives]

[20240803] Fundy is visible (not speaking) in TommyInnit’s new video! He’s playing a Minecraft trial chamber with Philza, but there's a montage toward the end of old Dream SMP/MCC clips!

The video embed in this post will take you to the start of the montage, but I recommend watching the whole video if you have a chance :]

[kira-anon-uwu]

don't ask me why this has ratsune mikboo in it i was possessed while drawing it

fic is Family Friends And Villain Acquaintances again, although the charged creeper stuff doesn't really happen until the bits in the second ao3 book of it

[qsmpficsarchive]

First Place:

Isaac_031

Second Place:

GenevaWren38

Third Place:

Ashbluegamer

Fourth Place:

IsaGh0st

[arch-iv]

The Leader of Team Bolas

(i know his wings are kinda gone, but yk)

[gambit-phelbeez]

Rough landing, but at least you're safe.

[calypso2511]

Qsmp!Philza is a Hunter in the way he pursues his goals without stopping, without pause, ignoring all else, a kind of stubborn determination..

But he is a hunter just as much as he is hunted and afraid to be hunted, hiding away from people he doesn't trust and not talking to anyone besides his team. But when he is attacked in the end, he kills just as easily as he does anything else. He is a Hunter in how he looks out for his team, how he cares about them going to whatever lengths it takes for them to survive.

He serves the End in how he waits, patiently for all to be over. Knowing that in the end it will all be good.

[factorialsotherfandoms]

xcom au, nothing especially anything, set in Cellbit's first few days with the group.

Cellbit is sat on the floor of the command room, an old books of crossword puzzles in hand. He has meticulously copied across the chart, not wanting to steal one of the few leisure items from the rest of the crew, and is filling it in. This one comes in French - not a language he knows well, but he is puzzling his way through.

He is just filling in 14A when a vaguely familiar someone ducks down before him. The green jumpsuit tells him little, except that the man isn't wearing it up - no, the sleeves are tied around his waist, the back bunched up, revealing the tank top beneath. For some reason he wears a hat even in here, an emerald hanging off it.

And then, perhaps more obvious, are the great black wings which fold awkwardly behind him. They're hybrid wings, that much Cellbit is sure of, but they do not fold particularly well.

He looks a bit strange.

They're all a bit strange here.

They're all a bit scarred here, too.

"Cellbit, right?" the man perches on the balls of his feet, elbows to his knees and rests his head on his hands.

"Yes?" Cellbit replies. "I'm sorry, I think I forgot you."

"No worries," he's flashed a grin. "You've got a lot of people to keep up to, I bet? I'm Philza. I remember."

Dragged from one matter to another, it takes Cellbit a few moments to put the pieces together. There was definitely gossip about this man, shared in hushed whispers and watching him interact with the others.

Philza Minecraft, Angel of Death, scourge of the Federation. Vanished alongside his partner in crime years ago, becoming little more than a fable.

One living on their ship, trusted to lead and advise though claiming no official role higher than squad captain.

"Angel?" he asks, because how can he not? "Death's Angel."

Philza's smile grows thin, "I swapped my sword for a medkit years ago. You're better off asking one of the others if it's murder you need - Jaiden's pretty hot at it these days."

Jaiden? Cellbit will bare that in mind.

"Sorry," he says, because he knows they all have pasts he would rather not come up - if Brazilian affairs were half as televised as those in English-speaking countries... Well, with Philza's past Cellbit could perhaps be proud, but parts of his own are better left untouched. "Did you need something?"

He's only been here three days; he cannot imagine anyone trusts him with much.

"Kinda," Philza tilts his head to the side a bit, eyes narrowing and looking all the birdier for it. "I'm told you like paperwork? And decoding shit?"

Cellbit blinks - once, twice, and "yes?"

Philza perks up again, "great! Because I've got a weird shit archive dating back about twenty five years that might want someone to look at them. I've been doing my best, but I am a fucking dumbass and cannot make heads or tails of it."

"Archive?" Cellbit can /feel/ his ears perk up at that - his control of the damned things having been lost in years of having them forcibly pinned away. "What sort?"

"Bit of this, bit of that," Philza shrugs. "Copies of mission records, newspaper clippings, shit the Theory Bros were looking into before the war... Weird crap Aypierre and Tubbo are done with, intercepted audio recordings, spy reports, random crap people picked up on missions... Photos. So many photos. Missing persons reports. That sort of stuff."

It sounds like a treasure trove.

It also sounds like it's going to be a nightmare to get into a usable state.

Fuck, if it's just been shoved in a storage room...

"Sure," Cellbit tries to hide both his excitement and his fear both. "I'm not busy."

"Great," Philza hops back onto his feet. "Because I am. I just found a few minutes to show you; Tubbo needs extra hands to test something, you know how it is with engineer types?"

And, yes, Cellbit does.

---

He is led through the ship to a tucked away room, down near the engines. Philza pushes open the door, and shows him inside.

With a flick of the lights... It's not as bad as Cellbit had assumed. Shelves with assorted objects line the left wall, a series of large, metal cupboards beneath them. Everything is fixed into place with metal strips and bolts - even the filing cabinets, all of which also lock. There's a chart on the wall with packs of coloured paper beneath, each colour representing a different research topic.

There are also cotton gloves - proper cotton gloves for working with documents! -

"While I was sorting," Philza says, already moving over to a cabinet. "I found a lot of this shit is related to more than one topic. Couldn't keep it separated by research field like the old archivist had been trying to, just a fucking dumbass idea. So, left to right, oldest to newest. I start filling a new cabinet from the bottom, so it stays better balanced. Anything paper goes in there - the folders are numbered to their order, please put them back right - objects in the shelves. Coloured sticky labels are where I think shit's related, but honestly you'll want to check it."

Cellbit is already peering over Philza shoulder, and into the drawer he opened. It's one of the pre-war old ones - pretty empty, but there's still a few pieces in there.

He grabs a folder and leafs through, marveling at the organisation, and just how well kept the records are - even at twenty four years old, the newspaper clippings are still perfectly legible and the paper at no risk of falling apart.

It's a missing person's report, one marked with the colour-tag as being unresolved. He's not surprised - if it had been it wouldn't be here - but it's not pleasant news.

And, tucked in with it is a series of printed out forum posts, ones discussing the article.

"It's not much," Philza shrugs. "But I try keep it organised, at least. Knew someone would want it some day."

"No, no," Cellbit puts everything back and slowly closes the door. "This is great! I was expecting worse. Can I see that one?"

He points at a random cabinet, somewhere near the middle.

Philza doesn't open it, he grabs a set of keys from one of to desks, and tosses them over.

"These are yours," he says. "So's the desk - mine's over there, though it's mostly used to dump unsorted shit on. Have fun with it all."

"You're leaving?" Cellbit asks. "Me here. With all these records. And the keys. Alone."

"Yeah?" Philza shrugs.

"I've been here three days. How do you just...?"

"Cellbit," Philza says. "Everyone higher than me in this damned organistion trusts you with their lives. Hell, I do too - I know you were feeding us that info. Not everyone does, but..." a shrug "I file the paperwork, you know? Can't solve it, but I can store the damned things. I've seen what you do, Cellbit - you've saved my ass more times than I can count. May as well give you the paperwork, fuck knows I don't know what to do with it."

"I have?" and Cellbit... Cellbit knows his info was good, but to hear it is...

"You sent the Order to Fit," Philza says. "I used my connection to him to get the Order to bail Missa out - my closest friends, I owe you. The warning of the shift in Thin Man biology? Saved our asses on the field. The base locations? The guard rotations? The info on treating laser wounds? There's not a person on this ship who doesn't owe you their life, Cellbit - what the fuck is some paperwork to that?"

"They would have managed," Cellbit says, already unlocking a drawer and flicking though one of the files inside.

This one is much fuller, and he spots photographs - ones taken by Philza, the backs read, showing off the areas where significant things happened.

"But we didn't have to," Philza replies. "Just.. Enjoy yourself, alright? I've left my notes where I could think of something, but I doubt it's worth shit."

"No, no, this is good," he puts the file back and grabs another. "Just needs an index."

"Indexing's all set up on your laptop," Philza taps on it, and only now does Cellbit spot the old piece of tech on the desk. "Tubbo refitted her."

"You indexed this," Cellbit looks at all the shelves, remembers this man leads missions, gives advice on running the Order - hell, he even runs it himself, when the others are indisposed - constantly being asked for aid and giving it... "It must have taken you ages."

"I was sorting through it all anyway, putting it all in date order and tagging the relevant queries and that," Philza shrugs. "Wasn't that much more work. Hour or two here and there over fifteen months or so?"

It's dedication. Cellbit nearly drops a file as the airship moves sharply, and in making sure everything in intact he misses Philza's escape.

Damn it. Well, if he has questions, he can ask later.

The index though...

Cellbit goes to the laptop, pulling it open and waiting for it to boot. There's a couple of things on there - Philza's desk has a full computer and printer, but Cellbit's new laptop has an external hard drive - but he ignores them for opening the index.

He expected just a list of reference numbers and which tags - maybe location, if he was lucky.

Instead.. Full database, all linked up. Reference numbers, tags, and locatgion, yes, but also summaries of the contents, a list of directly related items such as commentaries or other articles about the same event, a column for Philza's notes and one for Cellbit's, the locations of the originals if not stored in the archive...

Cellbit has killed for far, far less than this. And it's just... been handed to him? By someone saying it isn't much?

He doesn't quite get it, but...

He picks a mystery - something small for now. Opens up something to take notes on, and goes to collect the relevant files.

Soon enough he's absorbed so deep that he doesn't even notice Felps not-so-sneaking up behind him until he's already being hugged and told off for missing dinner - for vanishing all over again.