#platonic yearning

[qpp-townie]

I think part of what people struggle with when hearing a term like Queerplatonic Relationship is that it doesn’t fit into one of the boxes they already have set up for how the world works and so rather than make room for it, they try to shove it where it doesn’t belong or argue that it actually shouldn’t exist.

It is a term trying to convey information. It is not a trick or delusion or oversight on my part.

If I introduce you to someone and say ‘we are in a relationship’ most people (in the US at least) will default to thinking that means a romantic relationship which involved dating and now being a monogamous couple with sex, seeking marriage. Maybe not with that much detail, but that one word CAN carry a lot of implications that some would like to avoid from the start.

So i’d rather say ‘we are in a queer platonic relationship’ because that immediately tells you more information. It is a queer relationship and it is based on more platonic feelings (which doesn’t mean it is entirely platonic, but that’s an important part of it). It also tells you that these people have talked about their relationship and agree on this label, which should just NEVER be up for debate. If someone asks your opinion on a label that’s different, but same way you don’t get to decide who is queer or tell others what their feelings are, we are calling ourselves this for a reason.

But here’s the thing, saying that we are a QPR does not tell you the whole story! Same way saying you are dating, together with, married to, etc. someone, does not give you the full context of a relationship! Someone can say they are married, but later specify it is an asexual romantic relationship. Someone can say they dating and that can mean they are exclusive or seeking other partners. There are similar things qprs “typically” exhibit (but don’t have to), like closeness, living together, and no expectations of having to woo or romance the other person. But it is a broad term meant to encapsulate many types of relationships that fall outside the norm of building a nuclear family and amatonormative (romantic love is the most important kind of love) societal standards (which is not a universal standard for human relations, if there is a word in a different language/culture that fits better then that is of course okay!)

And I hope this can be a lesson about interacting with queer people/ people different from you in general, but rather than saying ‘that sounds like this thing/ that sounds fake/ I don’t want to call it that cause I’m used to this other thing/ i’m used to these boxes and just going to put you in one based on what you said’ just say:

‘cool! I’m not familiar with that, can you explain more?’ or even just ‘okay!’

[queermentaldisaster]

Really wanna match Emily and Charlie pfps or Alastor and Rosie pfps with someone...

[theriseofthesea]

Currently experiencing Yearning Hours™️

[kazbrekkerfast]

istg if I have to sit there overwhelmed with the feeling of yearning for someone to buy me flowers in a platonic way I might just buy them for myself

[roachbot]

Hugging is not enough let me into your bloodstream

[diaqueenunderthemountain]

I know I said it before but this cannot be overstated

✨THEY ARE FRIEND SHAPED✨

and my aroace self falls for friend shaped people so hard

[little-cereal-draws]

The platonic yearning is strong tonight boys

[my-chemical-aromance]

i don’t think anyone understands the extent of which i love my friends. like i’m literally in love with them. all of them. i would die for them, i would kill for them, i would do anything for them. all the songs and poetry in the world cannot describe how much i love my friends.

[rook-of-the-woods]

Hey would anyone want to hold me close and let our legs tangle together as I tucked my head into their chest. And while their hands stroked my hair and the murmured sweet things about me.

would anyone want to pick out my clothes and do my hair. And put makeup on me oh so tenderly and maybe do my nails.

Is that anything.

[onyx-eeeee]

Y'all ever just see someone, your friend or think about them and just know that's your person. Not romantically but platonically. That moment when you can just breathe, knowing you met them and have them in your life

[aro-yearning-culture-is]

Aro yearning culture is loving your friend so dearly, but being absolutely clueless about how they feel about you, and unsure if they would understand your feelings if you tried to explain them

trueee

[echokelly]

I have such a huge yearning when it comes to platonic love I fear it’s going to tear me apart. Friendships are so delicate in my eyes and I feel like if I let myself love them all without restraint, I would smother them. I want to constantly hold them close to me, to lace my fingers with theirs, to cook them warm meals, to smoke weed outside and stargaze, to ruffle their hair, to kiss their foreheads after I see them cry, to slow dance with them, to go swimming, to go to museums, to just be close to all of them all of the time. I am platonically infatuated with so many people in my life and I don’t know what to do with all of it.

[qpp-townie]

Thinking about how much I wanted to scream and yell at people around ‘why am I so unlovable? why does no one want to hold on tight to me? why did you make social interaction so hard?’ but that would not have helped. It is a legitimate grief, but one I had to process and work through. If I had gotten angry at my now partner for not wanting a relationship when I first asked, I wouldn’t be cuddled up with them in bed here today.

Being queer and neurodivergent and missing out key platonic and or romantic relationships can leave you an adult with so much grief and anxiety around relationships, but getting those relationships won’t fix that, you need to grow from it yourself. You don’t need to be alone through it, but it’s work you have to do to heal. I was so insecure and felt so horrible whenever my long distance partner didn’t respond to my messages for hours or didn’t initiate hangouts. But over time I’ve learned it’s a normal thing and communicated when I need reassurance or more attention.

You deserve care or affection or respect the way you want it. And I hope all of you with that grief of not having the people you needed in life so far, know you are not alone and are not broken.

[crow-sleeps]

I was thinking last night, and for reference, I'm a pretty queer guy.

but I was thinking, I would love to have like a girl/fem best friend. A queerplatonic wife. A platonic girlfriend.

now, I consider myself a gay guy, I've never really been able to figure out how I felt about women or femininity, but I've always loved doing people's makeup and hair and nails. I would love to have somebody to hang out with all the time to just pamper.

I'd paint their nails, do any sort of design they wanted or felt like. I'd fix the paint whenever it chipped and do nail care beforehand. I'd do their hair, curl it or straighten it or braid it in any way I knew how. I'd help them put together outfits and accessories, and match colors for them. I'd send them pictures of everything that reminded me of them in malls and boutiques. I'd keep track of their favorites. We could discuss perfume scents. Palette colors. I'd do their makeup, in bold brights or soft dewy shimmers. We could do skincare together.

I don't want another romantic partner. I love my current one dearly and he's satisfactory in every way, but he's not the type to like these kinds of things too.

I don't want a kid. I intend to be child free for at least most of my life.

but this unique type of relationship would be so neat to have with someone.

I just wish I knew where to look

[bonker-bananas]

i just want to curl up in your lap and snuggle with you while i’m half asleep and you ramble about your interests. is that too much to ask?

[citnamora]

What if we were friends and held hands?? What if I put my head on your shoulder??? What if I leaned into you like you're the only place to rest in my life???? What if I would do the same for you?????? What if?????????