#please bing is so cool too guys

[dobythealpaca]

as a larry fan,,,, where are all the BING fans at,,, like where ARE you guys LURKING i wish for more BING content,,,,😔😔😔

[another-lost-mc]

Shower Thoughts: Their bathing habits, with and without you.

Featuring: The Demon Brothers x gn!Reader

NSFW // Content: Domestic fluff and non-explicit smut. Sharing a bath/shower together; sexual and non-sexual touching; mentions of teasing, semi-public sex (showering together in the RAD locker room), penetration (Reader receiving).

A/N: Shaking off the rust. I blame the new Nightmare cards by the way. I wanted to write this for the OCs and figured I should show some of the others some love too. Like always, my fav bias is showing. (Most of Asmo's section is based on things that occur in the bath scene of Desperation.)

LUCIFER

Showering is part of his morning routine - he wants to look and feel his best, his pride won't settle for anything less. (Plus, it helps wake him up for mornings when coffee alone won't do the trick.)

Baths are a rare luxury for him. Ideally, he'll have the house (and your company) all to himself so he can soak in the fragrant bubbles without worrying about what his brothers are getting up to.

(The fact that they're not home and loose in the Devildom is just as worrying, please try to distract him.)

He's not against the idea of shower sex, but it can be cramped and awkward. He would rather tease you with gentle, lingering touches that leave you both a little hot and desperate before leading you to bed where he can enjoy you properly. He's surprisingly unconcerned about getting his bedsheets wet when it means having you naked and willing underneath him as soon as possible.

MAMMON

Mammon usually showers at night. He'd rather have the extra time to sleep in the mornings before class. If he has to work or has a photoshoot, he's definitely showering before bed - he and his bedding are a mess from sticky, gel-caked hair and the eye makeup he didn't remove properly if he doesn't.

He doesn't usually take baths - too boring, too slow - but if you like taking baths...well.

Whether he's in the shower with you or the tub with you, he's open for anything and everything you might want to do. Even an innocent suggestion for a romantic shower or bath together turns dirty quickly when his eyes and hands start to roam across so much exposed, wet skin.

LEVIATHAN

For a self-proclaimed otaku, his showering habits aren't that bad.

Sure, maybe before you came along, he spent less time worrying about his grooming and personal hygiene and more time worrying about his idols' stream schedules and pre-sale ticket dates for the various movies or concerts he wanted to see.

However, you're here now and you're important to him, so whether he wants to admit it or not, that changes things. If he wants you to hang out in his room for hours at a time gaming or binge-watching anime, both him and his room need to be in guest-ready shape.

He showers more often when he's been cooped in his room on the sofa or in his fashionable-but-not-functional gaming chair that makes his back sweat. Even a quick cool-off rinse in the shower is enough to leave him looking and feeling refreshed which is perfect - he hopes he can convince you to cuddle with him in his tub after.

Maybe it's his natural affinity for water, but he enjoys showering or bathing equally. It's tricky when most tubs aren't big enough for him to spread out with his tail out too, but thankfully they're big enough for you to fit in the tub with him which is just as good - better, even!

He's shy with you in the shower or tub. He prefers to stand behind you so he's not tempted to stare at your chest (or lower). No one touches him as gently or with more care as you do. And the way you run your hands along the scales of his tail or his neck...he's going to try and hide his twitching erection from you and hope you don't say anything if you notice it. He can't help how good you make him feel, but he's not always confident enough to return the favour.

If you want him to touch you, you'll probably have to explicitly ask him to - and wouldn't you know it, your hands resting on his while you guide them to move over your body is one of many acts of intimacy he ends up craving from you.

SATAN

He showers in the morning. He's one of the few student council members that wears his uniform properly and I think he wants the rest of him to look and smell good too.

He enjoys a nice bath once in a while. Maybe not as much as Asmo, but they're a semi-regular part of his routine. He can load up the bath tray with a book, even a cup of coffee or snack if he's feeling peckish that night; time passes in a blue as he soaks away some of the stress that burdens him. If you join him for a bath, he'd love to read to you or simply hold you against his chest while music streams from his D.D.D. nearby.

Showers are useful if he's in a rush, or maybe he just wants to rinse off the day's grime (especially if he was at the club or in a fight). Or perhaps he's not in a rush after all, judging by the way he ushers you into the bathroom with him and tugs at your clothing so you can join him under the warm spray.

Whether he simply wants to melt under your fingers as you work suds into his hair and across his body, or if your naked body so close to his is too much temptation to ignore, know that you're probably the only one who gets to see him - all of him - exposed this way.

ASMODEUS

It's no secret that the Avatar of Lust adores his private bathroom, with its high ceiling and numerous cupboards full of fluffy towels and bottles full of the most expensive haircare and body wash and massage oils that Grimm can buy.

His luxurious tub - if you can call it that, considering it's bigger than any hot tub you've ever been in before - is full of fragrant, crystal-clear water that Asmo adds scented oils and skin-softening potions to. No matter how long you bathe together, the water remains clean and warm (there's a handy spell for that).

Asmo loves the intimacy of pampering you and having you do the same for him. It's almost magical, the way he massages you with slow, rhythmic strokes as he washes you with beauty products he personally selects. He considers your preferences above his own so that everything he brings into the bath is scented with your favourite fragrant notes. If you share his bed that night, he can smell you on his pillow and sheets long after you've parted ways.

Naturally, once he's spent his time spoiling you with his tender touches and whispered affection, he's desperate to have your hands on him next.

Bathing doesn't always have to lead to more than soft, teasing touches. He's not against the idea - it wouldn't be the first time his fingers teased between your legs while he nuzzled the back of your neck and nipped at your ear - but this sort of comfort is like divinity to him. It's a sort of worship he offers you that he's offered no one else before, and no matter how much the outside world demands your attention (or his), this is one rare opportunity where you can truly be alone together.

BEELZEBUB

Beel's shower routine is fairly simple. 1. Shower after Fangol practice or games. 2. Shower after eating at a buffet-style restaurant. 3. Shower before bed if nothing else applies.

Of course, Beel learns that there's a certain charm to showering with you too. He used to complain the communal shower he shares with his siblings is a bit too cramped for his liking, and with you it's even worse, but that's simply a convenient excuse to press himself against you while he hardens against your back, or he cages you against the wall while his arms block everything else from view.

(The open showers in the locker room at the Fangol pitch are fun in their own way when post-victory showers with Beel turn frisky from giddy excitement and too much adrenaline to burn.)

Showering is simply a part of his routine, but like most things he does, Beel thinks they're more enjoyable when he can entice you to join him.

BELPHEGOR

Belphie's not necessarily lazy - he just prefers to spend his time and energy doing things that are important to him. It's not his fault if that very short list can be summarized as sleeping and spending time with you.

Sleeping is most comfortable when he's clean from the day's sweat and smells - the last thing he wants to do is ruin the attic's cozy little nest by crawling into bed smelling like anyone else but him and you. That means if he's going to shower before bed, he's dragging you with him if you haven't had one already.

Belphie might not be lazy, but that doesn't mean he won't use every trick in the book to convince you to touch him and pamper him as much as possible. He whines that he's too sleepy to fiddle with all the buttons of his RAD blazer, and he smirks like a satisfied cat while you huff at his ridiculousness and help undress him anyway.

(He knows you indulge him because you like it too - did you think he wouldn't notice the way your eyes roam his bare chest or the way your fingers twitch excitedly when you reach for his belt?)

Shower or bath sex is a bit messy and not as relaxing as he would like - the tiles are hard and cool against your back, it's hard to prep you properly in the tub as water sloshes against the sides and spills over the floor. It's inconvenient and not the sexiest experience in his opinion.

However. The shower is an excellent place to tease you with an innocent pout on his lips and a wicked gleam in his eyes. Lips trail lazily along whatever bare, wet skin they can reach while greedy fingers prepare you for something bigger once you're finally in bed together, moving together lazily in the sheets and putting off cleaning the mess until morning.

(And even if Belphie gets a little carried away in the shower as he stretches you with his fingers or his mouth, or possibly his cock if he's that riled up, the clean-up has never been easier.)

Read more: Obey Me! Masterlist

[comicwritesstuff]

okay this is so incredibly specific so please feel free to ignore BUT i’ve been wanting to read a fic for ages where the reader is Chase’s childhood best friend from Australia and she moves to New Jersey for a fresh start. She’s staying with Chase while she gets settled, and one day she comes to visit him at lunch at the hospital, where she ends up meeting House and he’s… intrigued by her 👀 either romantic or smut would be so very cool :^D <33 💐

YES. I LOVE THIS PROMPT IM SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG BUT IM FINISHED!!!

Gregory House x Fem!Chases bsf!Reader

Warnings: None really, just cussing and tooth rotting fluff >:) 3k+ words.

Chase's POV: 

“Well I was just wondering if we could go out sometime, I think you're really-” My attention shifted as y/n's call lit up my phone, interrupting the conversation. It was a more pressing matter than pursuing a one-night stand.

“Excuse me for a moment.” I say walking away, the woman having an annoyed look on her face. 

I answer the phone.

“Hello, y/n? Whats up” 

“Chase! Long time no talk haha.”

“You called me yesterday.”

“Learn to take a joke, anyways, I have some exciting news for you.”

“I’m moving to New Jersey!!” 

“Wait what? Really?”

“Yeah, I kinda forgot to tell you and i'm actually at the airport right now, so I hope you aren't busy tomorrow so you can pick me up.”

“Wow, um alright, yeah I can pick you up, do you have a place to stay?"

“Um…no…” I sigh, “Just stay at mine for now.”

“Don't even with the sigh i’ve known you my whole life you can put the nightly hookups on hold for your best friend.” 

I smirk and shake my head, “Yeah yeah, I’ll see ya tomorrow y/n” 

Y/N’s POV:

I smile as I hang up with Chase, grabbing my luggage and pulling it along the airport. Ahh yes, crying babies, rushed parents, annoying couples and that one insanely attractive person you see for a split second, I love the airport. 

Glancing at my ticket I realize I might have to hurry to make it to the gate, speed walking I see a text from chase, “Have a safe flight.” Let's hope so. 

Time skip (to lazy to write all the details about fucking airports)

Relaxing on a 21-hour flight proved challenging, especially with a toddler nearby. It was unclear whether the toddler would be a source of annoyance or just be tolerable. The flight just started. So to entertain myself I decide to do some digging about Chase's job, he brags about it all the time and the infamous Dr Gregory House. To be honest I thought Chase was gay for a little while with how much he talks about him. Still speculating. 

The plane lifts off and I start my look, at first just looking up Gregory House, a surprising amount of things show up. An article titled, “Gregory House, Talented Doctor? Or a lying Narcissist?” Oh well that's a good first impression.   

Scrolling down I see another article, “The world's greatest doctor, and his deepest secrets” 

Now that's enticing. I click on it only to find out his deepest secrets, including using 3 in one shampoo and how his leg got hurt. I guess people hardly know anything about him. I click on the photos of him, there's only a couple, most of them blurry but to be honest he's pretty good looking from the photos I can see. I’d honestly be gay for him if I was Chase. 

The toddler next to me starts giggling, I glance at her and notice her staring at a picture of House. She's kicking her feet too. That's so relatable. 

For the rest of the flight I find some stuff about this guy named Taub, who somehow also figured out that he cheated on his wife which is why he had to quit. How did I find that out? I took a coding class in 8th grade. (I got lucky) 

Lisa Cuddy the Dean of Medicine, unfortunately only good stuff about her, boring. 

Remy Hadley, oddly, can't find anything on her. 

Eric Foreman, his brothers in jail, fun. 

And the others are just as boring. For the remainder of the flight, the toddler proved surprisingly chill. I passed the time by binge-watching random movies I had downloaded earlier

*Another time skip to plane landing* 

Finally, 21 hours on a fucking plane is horrible. 

I check my phone after I take it off airplane mode, seeing a text from chase a couple minutes ago. 

“I’m at the airport, is your flight done?”

“Yep, wya.”

“I’m parked in the front.”

“That's specific” 

“There's no other front dumbass”

I roll my eyes at his text, and get off the plane as soon as I can. I walk out and see Chase standing outside his car waiting for me. His eyes light up as he spots me, and a grin spreads across his face. Unable to resist, I rush forward and envelop him in a bear hug.

“Man you’re a lot uglier in person” 

I say jokingly, smirking.

“Oh shut up”  

We climbed into his car, and he drove us back to his apartment. When we arrive he helps get my crap into the house, before he gets a call saying he had to head to work. 

Eventually a week or two passes, I've gotten more comfortable in his apartment, applied for a bunch of jobs, and looked for places to stay so I’m not invading his “man” space anymore. Unfortunately there aren't a lot of options, and no jobs have replied to my applications, which is weird since im overqualified, it's almost like they aren’t even getting my applications in the first place. 

I’m doing the dishes when I get a text from Chase.

“Hey, I left my wallet on the counter, so I don’t have money for food, could ya bring it for me?” 

“Nah”

“See you soon”

I breathe out a laugh and grab his wallet, putting a coat on then driving to the hospital. 

When I get there I walk in, looking around before I call Chase, “Where do I go this place is huge” I can hear talking in the background, actually more like arguing. “Uhm just wait at the entrance i’ll be right there.” He says in a whisper.

He hangs up so I just stand there awkwardly waiting, that was a weird ass phone call. To be fair Chase is a weird ass guy with weird ass coworkers so what do I expect at this point. 

Before I see Chase I see Dr Gregory House, limping quickly towards me. And damn he’s even hotter in person than the pictures I saw of him. 

“Hey, no time to explain, you need to come with me.” He grabs my arm dragging me into the elevator. Before it closes I see Chase come out of the stairway, he sprints towards the elevator but it closes. I hear him trying to say something, but it's muffled and I can’t understand it. Wait why the fuck did I even follow House? 

“You're real compliant, you’d make a great hooker.” 

I turn around and side eye him.

“Thanks, so would you.” I say giving a fake smile. 

“Speaking of compliant, why did you drag me away from Chase? What's going on?’’

“I made a bet with Chase.”

“That's really specific and helpful thanks” 

“Oh yeah no problem” 

Sarcastic asshole. 

“If you don’t tell me, I'll stop following you and go with Chase.” 

He rolls his eyes.

“Fine, Mom! The bet is that I can convince you to work as my assistant here.”

“Really? That's it? I need a job. Why would Chase even bet against that?” 

“He thinks you’ll fall in love with me so he doesn’t want that to happen, in his words, “She has a thing for homeless looking, narcissistic assholes with beards.” So he’s trying to prevent it, and he’s sure he can.”  

Damn- I feel so called out. I stay silent before nodding.

“Well to be honest he isn’t wrong.” 

I see House smirk before we get out of the elevator, he hobbles and leads me to his office, locking the door then having me sit down. 

As I sit down in front of his desk, he grabs a ball and starts throwing it against the wall, while sitting down. 

“So are you gonna interview me or something?” 

“Yeah, I’m just waiting for Chase to get back up here so he can watch me interview you.” 

He really is an asshole…it's kinda hot though. 

“Fair enough.” 

We wait a bit before Chase comes jogging up to the door, out of breath, he’s clearly been running plenty. He starts banging on the glass door that House previously locked.

“House!! Y/N! Let me in! This isn’t fair!” He exclaims, House is grinning when he leans over his desk, crossing his arms.

“Okay! Let’s start this interview now.” 

“Y/n! You traitor!” 

Did I abandon my childhood best friend for some disabled doctor? No, I did it for the job. At least that's what I'm telling myself.   

Turning my attention back to House instead of the Australian cry baby outside the door, he asks me, “First question, do you want the job of being my assistant?” 

“Obviously”

“Great! You have the job!” 

I mean, easy enough. I smile and shake my head. This hospital really has some unique people. 

House shakes my hand, grinning as Chase is sitting on the floor defeated outside. 

As the days turned into weeks at Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, I got to know everyone. Cuddy had to actually approve of me working as House’s assistant first, but once she saw a…normal enough individual, she welcomed me into the environment.

Getting to know House better, I found myself drawn to him in ways I hadn’t really expected. The bet between House and Chase, Chase thinking I would fall for House, I took it as a joke, until that joke turned more into reality. 

Despite House being a narcissistic piece of shit, there were small moments that I saw, or shared with him that made me fall for him. Ones where he seemed happy, or just easy to be around. At work he's serious but when Wilson dragged him out to bars, or other social environments, he could actually be fun. And though him being a dick is undeniably attractive sometimes, when he was…”himself” that's how I began to fall for him.  

One day, after an especially tough day for the team, and being forced to go break into houses and get coffee and food, I found myself alone with House in his office. The rest of the team had left, leaving us in a rare moment alone with each other. As I glanced up from the medical chart of the most recent patient, I caught House’s gaze lingering on me, his blue eyes intense and unreadable. 

“Something on your mind, House?” I asked, attempting to break the awkward silence between us. 

He smirked, leaning back in his chair with a casual ease, “Oh just wondering why a catch like yourself doesn’t have a boyfriend, or husband?” He responds, his tone laced with flirtatiousness.

I couldn’t help but chuckle at his response, a faint blush on my cheeks. House and I had gained an uncanny camaraderie, made from me running around doing everyone's paperwork, being the designated “you get to tell patients they are dying!!” person. And as you’d expect people didn’t respect me a lot, but if someone was blatantly mean to me, House would step in and destroy their self esteem in a second and walk away like it meant nothing. That's another thing that I think made me fall for him. 

“Believe me, I’ve been asking myself that a lot too.” I smile, placing the medical chart on his desk. 

“Do you want a boyfriend? Or girlfriend, or a pet or something.” He quips, his eyes looking like they are reading me, studying my every movement and reaction to what he’s saying, it's flattering and uncomfortable at the same time. 

“A boyfriend would be nice.” I say reassuringly, a laugh escaping me as I shake my head in amusement.

“Alright let's say *hypothetically* I asked you out. *hypothetically* what would your response be?” 

Raising an eyebrow I ask, “Are you trying to go on a date with me?”

“I said hypothetically, now answer the question.” 

A smirk plays on my lips as I roll my eyes in a mock annoyance. 

“Well.” I say, “Hypothetically, I would say yes.” 

“Great, meet me for dinner at (some random fancy place idk u make up a name i'm too lazy to), wear something cute.” 

 With that, he sauntered out of the office, leaving me to think about what just happened. Glancing at the clock, I realized I had just enough time to get ready for our “hypothetical date.” 

The anticipation bubbled within me, standing outside (IDK A RESTAURANT NAME IT), waiting for House to arrive. My heart raced with nervous excitement, unsure what to expect from a…unique…guy like House. I had used all the time I had to work on my outfit, settling for a simple dress (or suit, or just anything you're comfy in :) ). 

As I scanned the busy street, searching for any sign of House, I heard the obnoxiously loud sound of a motorcycle approaching. House rode in, parking his bike before getting off and walking (limping) towards me. My breath caught in my throat as I saw him, he looked impossibly handsome, in a tailored suit that made his rugged charm come out, good god he looked fine. 

“Y/n,” he greeted with a warm smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners in genuine affection. “That outfit makes your ass look nice.” 

I scoff playfully, hitting his arm. “So much for acting like a gentleman, at least you look like one.” 

He chuckled, offering me his arm in a more gentlemanly gesture. “Yeah yeah, shall we?” 

With a nod, I looped my arm through his, savoring the warmth of his touch as we mad our way into the restaurant. The ambiance was elegant and inviting, with a soft candlelight casting a warm glow over the decor. 

As we were seated at a table in a quiet corner of the restaurant, I couldn’t help but feel a flutter of excitement in my chest. I’m finally going out with House, damn Chase was totally right. 

Throughout the evening, our conversation flowed surprisingly easily between us. I had half expected him to be rude or stuck up, but he seemed actually interested in me, in my life. He was asking questions, laughing and joking with me. Sharing stories of his own, and treating me like an actual human. Honestly it was scaring me a bit, but it was making me fall harder for him. 

House raised an eyebrow, a playful glint in his eyes. ‘So, tell my Y/N. What’s the most embarrassing thing that's happened to you?” 

I laughed, shaking my head as I thought about the memory. “Well, there was this one time in college-” 

“Let me guess,” House interrupted, a smirk playing on his lips. “It involved copious amounts of alcohol and very questionable decisions?” 

I chuckle and nod in agreement. “You could say that. Long story short, I ended up streaking through the campus fountain at three in the morning. I'm pretty sure Chase might still have a video of it still.”

House raises an eyebrow, an amused laugh coming from him. “I wish I could say I was surprised, oh and also. I am finding that video.” He states, with a determined and mischievous grin. 

The dinner continues and our connection just seems to get stronger, fueled by shared laughter, stories of shit Wilson and him did in college, things Chase and I did in highschool. With each passing moment, I found myself more and more under House’s spell, captivated by the complexity of himself, his character. His gaze, laughter, even his personality. Maybe it was the wine or something, but House was being nice, he had charisma, and was being attractive in general.  

I don’t even realize that we’ve spent almost three hours in the restaurant just talking. I check my phone seeing that it's 9:30 already. We had got and paid the check awhile ago, but had stayed to talk longer. The restaurant closes at 10, and I felt a sudden pang of disappointment that our date was close to being over with. I didn’t want it to end, I was savoring this moment I was having, this seemingly perfect night. 

When the waiter arrived to take our dessert order, I couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment that the evening was drawing to a close. I wasn't ready for it to end—I wanted to savor every moment, to prolong the magic of our time together for as long as possible.

House notices my look of disappointment, “I’m aware how amazing I am, but if its up to me, this won’t be our last date.” 

A smile tugs at the corners of my mouth, my cheeks heating up as I blush. The butterflies in my stomach going absolutely insane. 

So with a quick glance around the restaurant, I rose from my seat, House grabbed my hand as he led me towards the exit. 

Stepping out into the cool night air, I felt a sense of happiness coursing through me. This was it, the beginning of a new relationship, a surprisingly healthy one so far. 

As House’s hand tightened around mine, his touch sent sparks of electricity coursing through my veins. I knew now that maybe Chase knows me better than I know myself, in all fairness he predicted this, but right now I wasn’t afraid to admit this, to admit the undeniable attraction that I had towards Dr Gregory House. 

His touch leaves mine, his hand pulling as we stand in front of the restaurant, close to each other, staring in each other's eyes. I glance at his lips before leaning in, pressing a soft kiss to his lips, not sure if he expected it, but I pull back.

“Goodnight House. I’ll see you tomorrow.” And with that I walk away, to my car. When I get in my car, I look in the mirror, seeing House standing there with a lovestruck grin, one a child would have over some school crush. But it was cute, he was cute. And this was just the beginning of an annoyingly predicated relationship with a Vicodin addicted, asshole, who I suspect has a soft spot for me.

[ethelcained]

rosemary (matt sturniolo) ⛧°｡🦇

they’re both twitch streamers.. planning on writing an actual fic soon so requests are deeply appreciated!! thank you so much for all of the love in my last post <333 it means the world ⭐️⭐️ let me know if you’d like me to turn this into a series (;

777.starlem

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777.starlem 🕯️🦇⋰ ⋱✮ streaming @ 6 pst!!

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matthew.sturniolo

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matthew.sturniolo Streaming now 🍎🩹

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777.starlem

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777.starlem texted my doctor n i was liek “haiiii :3 how much for 3 prozacs >////<” no reply back )))),:

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matthew.sturniolo Cutest scene girl

777.starlem SO YOU THINK IM CUTE 😨😨

444salemwifey FUCK ITS SPREADING

lilghettobitchesdatqueef @matthew.sturniolo SHES MINE‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ you stay away from her

steve.lacy i am björk

solanaroan speak on it twin

mayawinky it’s true

destinconrad he be serenading me with hyperballad

novacane1728 What a intimidating group of losers

wewecroissant3333 real !! this is why i’m not surprised they’re all a group now.. losers just multiply together like mutants

redveil 👾👾

streamerupdates

liked by hamzahthefantastic and 896,583 others

streamerupdates Famous twitch streamers @777.starlem & @matthemunch are currently streaming together via twitch with other streamers!

View all 51,987 comments

lesbian4salem INSAAAAAAAANE

deftonesdagoats i love how salem and solana are cussing chris and matt tf out and raging 💀😭

clairebeard23 meanwhile hamzah, maya, nick, david, aeri and gio are streaming escape evil drake tycoon on roblox

deftonesdagoats @clairebeard23 insane group of ppl😭😭

rosemary_ am i the only one feeling like a third wheel

deezfrankinuts nah but fr and it’s like i’m used to solana and chris being all googoogaga but matt and salem??? fml

salemluvraeri y’all think that in the last 6 months since #THAT tweet they’ve been…. maybe perhaps??👀👀👀

aeriteenagedirtbag @salemluvaeri Honestly prob cause like sum fishy going on and it’s not ur pussy

scenebitch222 @aeriteenagedirtbag BRO??????

matthew.sturniolo

liked by sabrinacarpenter and 3,906,999 others

matthew.sturniolo One year with my vamp 🦇🩹

View all 60,654 comments

777.starlem the sackboy to my domo 🧛🏻🫀🧛🏻‍♀️

matthew.sturniolo I love you sweetheart ❤️‍🩹

playboicartee999 ?????? SICKENING

777.starlem beat the radiohead no head allegations!!!

ethelcainsalem NO FUCKING WAY BRO JUST SAID THAT

peaches_heart3 never beating the loser allegations tho..

mothercain so is she a freak in nebraska?

777.starlem disappointed that you’re even asking this hayden.. like you KNOW that i am, freakys daughter and all 😒😒

pinkpantheress she really got you like ^_^ :3 >_<

matthew.sturniolo She has me going yahoo :3

semiz4llll 😭😭😭FUCK😭😭😭MY😭😭😭LIFE😭😭😭

vampluvr666 when loser pulls loser

sirjohn1738 gotta love this trope

sunnylevine moon x moon

ft.gioo proud of you gang

aerichandesu she’s still my girl btw..

777.starlem duh we’re already married 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

mattsbbgpook @matthew.sturniolo FIGHT BACK

nicolassturniolo 🧛🏻🧛🏻‍♀️

christophersturniolo Can’t make fun of u for being the single one anymore 😞

rip.brockhampton the only reason we didn’t think they were dating was bc this mf kept making fun of him for not being cuffed wtf

money_420 @rip.brockhampton Naaaah i always knew mf was way too geeked this year 💀 bro has been all “🫠☺️🥰”

ariana_greenblatt don’t you dare hurt my sister 🤬

matthew.sturniolo 🫡🫡🫡

tylermycreator my greenblatts ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

solanaroan CONGRATS FUCKERS

brentfaiyassfied sicko🤣🤣

oasisza222 can’t believe that silly fucking tweet is what brought them together 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

kalicoochies3 fr fr

dijondress_ i’m soooo drunk @mayawinky

mayawinky @dijondress_ pass

[melanieph321]

SEVEN DAYS OF REQUESTS 2.0

(DAY 7)

Ruben Dias x Reader - Yours To Keep

I love jealous Ruben 😩

Where Ruben becomes terribly jealous after a guy flirts with reader without her knowledge.

Enjoy!

You had cravings. Many of them. You craved anything sweet, sour, salty and spicy. And if it came in Supersize you craved that too. But since you started dating Ruben you often hesitated giving into these cravings. Not because you were ashamed of them but because you were respectful of Ruben's healthy lifestyle choices and didn't mind living up to them as well.

Lately, however, your cravings had started to increase. You suspected that your period was on the way, but when it failed to arrive on time, you had no other choice than to allow yourself a little treat. Luckily, Ruben understood your needs as a woman and, like a gentleman, offered to pay for your monthly binge.

"Hey, can I get a double cheeseburger with fries, please?"

You arrived at your nearest McDonald's and skipped towards the counter to place your order. Ruben followed closely behind you, like the walking wallet that he was.

"Sure, anything for you, love. Would you like to order a dipping sauce to go with those fries?"

"I thought it came with a dipping sauce?"

The guy taking your order looked to be in his early twenties. He had jet black hair and blue eyes, a very unique genetic combination.

"Not really, we charge extra for that, but for you darling...." A wink. "It's on the house."

"Oh, that's very kind of you." You blushed. "Ruben, would you like to order anything?"

"No."

You turned to him. "But you said you could eat?"

He shrugged his shoulders, hands shoved deep into his pockets. "What can I say," He said, clenching his jaw. "I lost my appetite."

"Alright." You turned back to the guy behind the counter. "That'll be all, thanks."

"Cool, one double cheeseburger menu for the girl with the beautiful smile."

You were excited. A little too excited to be honest. You couldn't wait to get home to enjoy your food and started nibbling on your fries in the middle of the road. You would have gotten a taste of you burger too if it hadn't been for Ruben, refusing to wait up for you as he walked ahead.

"Baby slow down," You said. "You're walking too fast."

Ruben, however, kept on walking ahead of you with obnoxiously long strides.

"Ruben?"

"Well hurry up then?"

You paused.

Ruben turned around and noticed the distance between you. What's worse is that he let out an eye rolling sigh before making his way back to you, offering you his hand. "Alright, let's go."

You took his hand but couldn't shake the feeling that you had done something to upset him. All was forgotten, however, when you arrived back to Ruben's apparment and he took the opportunity to hop in the shower while you plotted down in the living room, making yourself a spread of your food, enjoying it in front of the TV.

After devouring your meal, you couldn't help but wonder why it took so long for Ruben to join you.

"Baby?"

You got up and started searching for him.

"Ruben, where are...you."

You found him in the bedroom, on the bed, with his legs extended as he scrolled through his phone.

"Aren't you joining me?"

Ruben looked up from his screen and noticed you standing in the door. "Have you finished eating?"

"Yes, why?"

"I bet you enjoyed it." He muttered.

"Right...." You entered the room and made your way over to the bed, taking a seat.  "Clearly something is bothering you Ruben and you haven't told me what."

"Nothing's bothering me." He chirped, although his eyes refused to meet yours, returning to his phone.

"Right. So if nothing is bothering you why can't you join me for a movie night like you said you would?"

Ruben sighed as he put down his phone. "What can I say Y/N, I'm not in the mood anymore. It happens."

"Yes, but not twice in one night."

"Huh?"

"First, you say you've lost your appetite and make me order all of that food for myself. Then you snap at me in the street for enjoying the food, and now you want to skip our movie night like we hadn't planned for it all week. If you want to break up with me, just say it to my face, Ruben. Don't try to push me away."

It was as if time froze momentarily, capturing the intensity of what you just said. Once it thawed, Ruben looked to batt out of his foul mood, a frightened look in his eyes. "Y/N, I..."

"God, with all your mood swings, it's like you're the pregnant one, not me."

"I...what?"

Your eyes winded, regretting blurring that out. "I'm....not...or I'm not sure. But I'm late." You nodded.

"Late?" Ruben looked to just have seen a ghost passing by.

You nodded. "My period is late and I've been having cravings." Ruben looked to protest. "Not like my usual cravings." You added.

He made his way towards you, reaching for your face as if to inspect it. However, Ruben's hand only went to dry a fallen tear. You had failed to notice that you were crying.

"Is it mine."

"The baby?"

"Yes?"

"Of course the baby is yours, Ruben. Who else would it be?"

"I don't know, perhaps that guy from McDonald's..."

"I knew it!" You exclaimed. "I fucking knew it."

Ruben looked confused. "What?"

"You were jealous of that guy, weren't you?"

"W...what, no? What guy?"

"Don't play dumb with me now Ruben.  Admit it. You were jealous of that guy working at McDonald's."

"Why would I be?" Ruben pouted. "I bet he hands out free dipping sauces to every girl with a beautiful smile."

"How tragic." You smirked. "I never knew you to be the jealous type. It really doesn't suit you, you know."

"I am not..."

You squealed as you were tackled onto the matress, Ruben pinning you down with all his weight. You laughed in his ear as he nibbled your throat. "Tell me Y/N, why would I be jealous of some guy working at McDonald's when you're having my baby, huh? Answer that question for me....

You stiffened below him.

"Y/N?" Ruben immediately sensed it and pushed himself off you, giving you the space. "Are you okay?" He asked, looking down.

"I haven't decided yet...."

"Decided what?"

You sat up. "I haven't decided if I should keep it, the baby."

Ruben frowned. "Why wouldn't you?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

Ruben shrugged. "Why not? I'm keeping you. If that comes with a baby, so be it."

You were speechless, more so because the way Ruben was acting today, being jealous of such a silly thing like a McDonald's dipping sauce, told you that the guy was really into you. It brought assurance that you didn't know you needed.

"Y/N, you okay?"

Just like that, he was there again, Ruben, reaching for your face, wiping unwanted tears.

You smiled.  "Then I guess I'm yours to keep."

[mariailoveyou-guerin]

finished binging supacell in one sitting it was so good OMG black superheros yes sign me up they show was so epic and now I’m binging the press stuff my god are they is all so my gorgeous are you kidding me they are stunning every single one of them glowing what a beautiful cast I’m literally in awe at how beautiful they are what a stunning cast the whole cast just pure beauty how? Did they cast them from modelling agency and they just happens to have raw acting talent? their face cards are CRAZY INSANE I was mesmerised the whole time watching the show!

Never seen such insanely beautiful cast I’m literally in awe and shocked at their lethal face card they shining like literally glowing my god I need s2 NOWW actually

and they are close and they went to each other plays aww I love when actors are genuinely happy in each other company and enjoy each other not just dying filming but after filming and they hang out afterwards it’s so cool cute and the seem like such fun group please I wanna hang out with them they all seem so real genuine people now I’m obsessed with yet another show cast and actors about it to watch their everything josh is already my man from another show boarders it was not a Netflix show I think but it was so good and now he’s in this too and its so good like man is talented and I know he’s nominated for same award with Nicola Dylan ofc rooting for my guy but also my girl but him

[happy74827]

Happy Accidents

[Todd Ingram x Female!Reader]

Synopsis: You might've broken your leg due to Todd, but that didn't mean you couldn't still have quality time together.

WC: 2672

Category: Hurt/Comfort, Fluff

This was such a random plot I came up with, but I’m actually in love with it. I feel that this little one-shot is 100% Todd accurate (I say little but it’s literally 2k words lol).

Also, please don’t send the vegan police after me for my inaccuracies (lmao). Google was my only option 😭😭

『••✎••』

Spending time at the hospital wasn’t the plan you had in mind for your Friday night. You expected it with you curled up on your couch watching whatever crappy reality show that was airing with Todd by your side.

He was always the perfect person to binge with; his reactions were an endless source of sarcastic commentary. It actually made it funnier.

But you couldn't be too upset. You still had Todd, and you had… some television. Sure, it wasn’t 90 Day Fiancé, but it was better than nothing.

Usually, when it came to broken legs, you were at the hospital for two hours. Two. Hours. Not you, of course. Your boyfriend had to be a vegan and have those whacked-out powers. It was a given that there’d be an accident.

Who knew a flying amp could be so hard to catch?

At least you didn't have a concussion. The only injury was your leg, but your leg was completely messed up. Three different fractures in your femur and a torn ligament. It was the most you had ever been injured in your life, including all those times you fell off your bike or when you broke your arm in third grade.

The doctors at the hospital said that they couldn't let you leave until Monday. Surgery was also still on the table and could happen as early as tomorrow, which you definitely weren’t paying for

So, you were stuck in the hospital, eating the terrible hospital food and watching stupid television.

And the worst part about all of this was that it was slowly taking your mind off of Todd.

It was only the last couple months when the two of you started dating. Neither of you were exactly serious or anything, but you had feelings.

He was a big guy and a real sweetheart, not to mention a badass with those powers of his. It was obvious that he had a good heart, and he didn't take shit from anybody. That included you.

You had to admit that it was cute when he got jealous. He never had to worry, though. You were never interested in guys like him. You had your eye on Todd, and now you were stuck in a hospital bed because of him.

Now that it was just a memory, the moment you broke your leg was pretty comical. Envy needed a rehearsal before their band went out on tour the following week, and since you and Todd planned the night out together, you attended their quick practice.

As usual, they were awesome. You were like a little fangirl when Envy started singing. You kept your cool, though, sitting on the couch while they ran tempo and entrances. You weren't paying too much attention either, until you heard a voice and turned your head.

Lynette, the drummer, apparently had a very salty day and decided to pick fights with Envy’s ideas. She even suggested that she should learn how to write songs. That was a big no-no when it came to Envy, and it was made very clear that it would be her last comment for the day.

It was a blur, really. Envy and Lynette were throwing insults at each other, and Todd was caught in the middle of it. He was pretty bad at confrontation when it didn’t technically involve him and so he usually let it slide, but something about Lynette had pissed him off this time.

You could still remember the words he said.

"You know what I hate about you? Your hair."

You giggled, and that was your mistake. Lynette absolutely loved her hair. That haircut was her pride and joy. Todd could never understand what it was about it, but it was Lynette's favorite feature.

So, when he insulted her favorite thing in the world, she immediately started attacking your boyfriend, causing you to go over and try to stop this before it escalated.

Well, it escalated. Todd subconsciously went into “vegan mode” when he was mad. It was a defense mechanism or something like that. In any case, an accidental movement of his hand had an expensive amplifier aimed right at your leg.

Envy saw it coming and screamed his name to get his attention, but he couldn’t hear her over Lynette, and you couldn't move out of the way fast enough.

And then, everything stopped. All you felt was the excruciating pain that was apparently your broken bone, multiple places, as you later found out. Your mind went blank for a moment as all the horrified expressions of each band member turned towards you.

Todd threw the amplifier aside with his powers, profusely apologizing to you. His hair settled back down to normal as he took you in his arms.

"Oh, god, am I an idiot." He said. "I didn't mean to… oh, man, you’re okay, right?"

You were on the verge of tears when you nodded your head. The adrenaline of the moment had taken over your pain as you wrapped your arms around his neck and squeezed him tight.

Envy most definitely cursed him out on your behalf. Lynette was still pissed as she stood off to the side, crossing her arms with a huff. She didn’t really know you, so she didn’t really care that you got hurt.

But Todd knew you, and he cared a whole hell of a lot about you. He was going to be making up to you for a while. You were going to get the apology of a lifetime and probably an entire chocolate cake with strawberries. You loved strawberries.

You did not care about your injury at that moment, though. The scene of Todd apologizing to you, Envy yelling derogatory words at him that were obviously unknown to him, and Lynette's head turning in the other direction was probably one of the best sights you had ever witnessed in your life.

“How’re you feeling?” Todd’s voice snapped you out of your memory. He was in the chair beside you with a hospital pillow on his lap. He had a bag of Doritos in his hand, which he was munching on.

You turned your head over to him and couldn't help but smile. It was a smile full of love and adoration, one that made Todd raise an eyebrow.

"I'm alright," you replied, reaching for the water that was by your bedside. You failed miserably, but Todd noticed it and hovered it over to your hands.

He took the opportunity to grab another chip and take a bite before looking back at you.

"You sure you're okay? I mean, you got hurt 'cause of me.”

"That's what I get for dating a badass, I guess." You laughed, shaking your head.

Todd scoffed, "That's not funny."

"It kinda is."

"Whatever." He crossed his arms and pouted a little bit. "I'll have to watch my back more now. I could have killed you."

“It’s okay. Envy would’ve reunited us if you had. She would’ve torn you a new one. I'd say you dodged a bullet there.”

As Todd munched on his Doritos, nodding along to your words, you knew there was nothing in his brain that connected what you’d just said. He was most definitely agreeing, just to agree.

And just because of that, you couldn't help but admire him. He was sitting there with his messy hair and those brown eyes of his. His clothes were wrinkled, and you could see the tiredness in his eyes, but none of it mattered to you because he was still so beautiful.

Todd being a vegan was also a blessing because it gave him such an amazing physique. He was lean but toned, his abs always visible even under his baggy shirts. Not that you cared if they were showing or not.

"Can I have a chip?” You asked him.

He turned towards you with a look of horror on his face. "You don’t like these. You like the non-vegan Doritos.”

“Aren’t they all… not vegan?”

Todd let out a sigh, his eyes rolling back.

"Not these. Spicy Sweet Chili. I got these from the vending machine. They're for me."

He sounded like a little child, which you couldn't help but laugh at. He always was so serious about these things, even though they were snacks that were meant to be shared with people.

"That's not what I asked." You said.

"Yeah, but-"

You made grabby hands at him. You were starting to feel that pain again as your muscles were getting tired. You needed those chips.

"Todd, please."

He let out a sigh, trying to hold back a smile. He was always such a big softie for you.

He handed over a bag of chips, and you wasted no time in taking one. Immediate regret as you took a bite out of the spicy snack, choking as you did so. You managed to swallow it down before taking in a drink of water to wash it all down.

"Told you that you wouldn't like them." He said with a grin.

"I… like them. I just don't like how I feel after I eat them."

"Mhmm.”

You glared at him, narrowing your eyes. "Stop being smug."

"I can't help it if I'm so cool." He winked.

He wasn't wrong, though. Todd had a very good self-esteem about himself and was never shy to tell you so. But it was the way he said it, that smug look of his and his stupid wink, that made you want to punch him and kiss him.

It was those little things.

"You know," you said as you crossed your arms, "this isn't how I planned on spending my Friday night."

"I know, babe. I know."

"I mean, I thought we were going to have some quality time. The two of us and the TV, I really wanted to catch up on that old Ed and Rose storyline.”

"I know, I know.”

"And instead, I'm here with and because of you." You glared at him as you finished your sentence.

He was ready for your attack, crossing his arms to match yours. You two were in the middle of a staring contest when Todd opened his mouth to say something, but the nurse came in at the worst possible moment to interrupt him.

"Ah, you're awake. How're you feeling?”

Unfortunately, this made Todd win the battle as you were forced to look at the nurse. She had a smile on her face, one that made you feel relaxed. Todd turned to look at her as well.

"I'm feeling better now." You said. "Thank you for asking."

The nurse nodded her head, writing down your words before turning to Todd with a smile. "Since your friend—”

“Girlfriend.” He corrected her, pointing a finger at you.

You couldn't help but laugh, turning your head to the side as you did so. Your laughter got the nurse to smile.

"I apologize. Since your girlfriend is doing better, you’re welcome to visit back in the morning. Visitation hours are from eight to twelve and one to three. After that, only family will be allowed in.”

Todd turned to look at you, and you could see that he wanted to say something, but with a simple nod from you, he leaned back in the chair with his arms crossed, giving the nurse his attention.

She gave him another smile as she looked back at you. "I’ll come back in about an hour for a checkup. Press the button if you need anything in the meantime."

"Thank you." You replied.

She left the room smiling, leaving the two of you to look at each other.

You let out a sigh as you leaned your head back on the bed, closing your eyes. Todd's eyes never left you, staring at you as you did so.

“Should've said we were married. I would've been able to stay the night here." He said.

"Yeah, but then I wouldn't be able to sleep because of your snoring. You know, that's why I get up so early in the mornings. I have no choice but to leave the bed when you're snoozing away."

Todd had the audacity to smile at that, shaking his head.

"Whatever, I don't snore. Besides, you love the way my arms feel around you."

You opened one eye, staring at him. "Are you trying to make me feel bad?"

"No. I'm just stating the facts. I have great arms if you hadn't noticed."

You scoffed at him and his bragging. You closed your eyes again.

"I hate you so much."

"I know." He said with a smirk on his face. “Can I have my chips back now? You ate almost all of them."

You handed the bag back to him without another word, sighing deeply. You could feel Todd's stare at you as he opened up the bag again.

You heard him take another chip into his mouth as he stared at you, but he was too quiet, so you knew he had something else to say.

"What?" You asked, already knowing the answer.

"You know that I meant it when I said sorry, right?"

"Of course I know, Todd. You always apologize."

He swallowed down his chips. "Yeah, but this time I really meant it. I was so scared when you got hurt. I didn’t mean to; I just got pissed at Lynette, and that all happened."

"Todd, it's okay. I know you didn't mean it. You would never hurt me."

"You're sure?" He asked.

You opened up your eyes again, looking at him. He was staring down at his lap as he said those words, biting his lip. You could tell that he was genuinely worried about this, so you reached over and made grabby hands again, but instead of the chips, you were looking for him.

Todd looked up at you and raised an eyebrow. He placed the bag of chips aside and got out of his chair, going over to the side of the bed to look at you. You placed both of your hands on either side of his neck, smiling at him.

"I'm positive. I know how much I mean to you, Todd. You don't need to worry. I'm not mad at you."

He was looking right into your eyes as you said that and nodded his head, moving closer toward you as he placed his hands on the side of the bed. You didn't want him to be too far away from you, so you wrapped your arms around his neck.

"I'm just glad you're okay. I didn't mean for this to happen. I swear."

"I know." You replied. "It's not your fault."

You stared at each other for a few more moments before he leaned down and kissed you. He placed both of his hands on either side of the bed as he deepened the kiss. He didn't do this often, but when he did, he knew exactly what he was doing.

He was also extremely careful now that you had broken your leg, making sure that he wasn't putting any pressure on your side. He placed one hand on your face to hold you in place as he kissed you while his other hand supported his body.

It felt like a few minutes had passed before he broke the kiss. He leaned down and rested his forehead against yours, closing his eyes.

"I love you." He whispered.

"I love you too."

It wasn't the first time he said it, and it definitely wasn't the first time you had said it to him, but it was the first time you heard those words without any fear in his voice. There was no worry, no hesitation, only love.

He opened his eyes, looking at you with a smile on his face. His brown eyes always captivated you, especially when he smiled.

You felt your own smile spread as you looked into those beautiful eyes of his, kissing him on the cheek before snuggling up to him.

You felt his hands wrap around your body and sighed contently. Eventually, he’d have to leave, but until then, you were going to enjoy this.

And if it came with spicy chips, then even better.

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Rosemary Clooney (White Christmas)—Rosemary!!! Her singing voice is incredible, she looks stunning in everything she wears, she has this quiet gravitas on screen that I haven’t seen anywhere else!! She deserves to be known as a lot more than George Clooney’s Aunt (if anything, I think of him as Rosemary Clooney’s nephew who also went into the business). Also when she got older she had this amazing sexy raspy voice (which sadly was due to smoking a lot but doesn’t take away from the fact that it’s very very sexy)

Kalina Jędrusik (Upał, The Doll, The Cure for Love)—She was a singer too and one of her songs is literally about how "there is sex in me"

This is round 1 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut]

Rosemary:

Rosemary Clooney made very few movies, and built her career mostly as a singer--however, anyone who has ever seen her in White Christmas understands that this was Hollywood's loss, because she exudes glamour and charm and does a wonderful job acting it as well. She's gorgeous, she has a beautiful voice, she has one of those faces that the screen just loves, and she is, frankly, hot as hell.

Okay so obviously she's more a singer than an actress, but she was still one of the best musical actresses of the era! They just didn't know what to do with her. She really wasn't a dancer at all, so you'll see most of the numbers in White Christmas she's got a convenient prop to sweep around. However, this ~weakness brought about a love story for the ages! Dante Di Paulo (you may know him as the mustachioed townie rival to the Pontipees in Seven Brides for Seven Brothers) was hired to teach her to dance and they fell in love over rehearsals. Separated by filming schedules, Rosemary ended up marrying José Ferrer and breaking Dante's heart, but 20 years and two divorces from José later they met in traffic. Not about to miss her second chance, she honked her horn and yelled her phone number at him (talk about carpe diem). He moved in a couple of months later but they finally made it official in 1997 because "our grandchildren want us to get married". They were utterly devoted to each other and he was very much a Wife Guy.

An absolutely amazing singer and so stunning. Her performance in that black dress in White Christmas just takes my breath away every time. She's also George Clooney's aunt.

when she. when she. 'love you didnt do right by me' from white christmas-

She was a very cool woman, who had a very hard life. She had severe mental health struggles throughout her life and left the stage for quite a while, but fought hard to make her career comeback later in life with a little timely help from good friend and frequent collaborator Bing Crosby. She also duetted with Marlene Dietrich early in her career

She was very funny and very civic-minded, she campaigned with RFK during his presidential run. She had a very close bond with her nephew (that George Clooney yes), he even had her songs on the playlist when he proposed to his wife! She didn't enjoy singing this song from White Christmas, as it wasn't quite in her range, but she's incredibly powerful and undoubtedly very hot in this scene (fun fact, oscar winner George Chakiris is one of her dancers here, before his big break!) -

Kalina:

[idyllcy]

from one admirer to another : baked?

pairing: leon kennedy x reader || masterpost: from one admirer to another

synopsis: from one admirer to another, an online penpal service, allows for two people with common interests to write to each other without ever revealing their actual address! Luckily for both you and Leon, you get matched up! What do eggs and Christmas even have in common anyway? sure hope it's that modeling business and NOT that Ada Wong addiction.

featuring: reader as model number two // leon as christmas

Dearest model number two,

That mid-autumn festival dinner with you was delightful. I found it especially funny when you absolutely lost every ounce of cool when Ada had casually pointed at me with her chopsticks and deadpanned that I was Christmas himself. I wish I got a photo of the absolute embarrassment that was written on your face and how you probably would have jumped out the window had you not sunk to the floor out of embarrassment.

I think you know by now that I have an awful crush on you. From the second you first met me, the second I first locked eyes with you, from the moment your hand was placed on my bicep, I have been weak to you. I know you said you prefer to date face to face, which I have nothing against, but I just think it's wonderful to have love letters to look back to. My parents had them as well, so I hope we can continue this. I understand if you don't want to, though. It's a little creepy to think that your penpal all this time had been your long-time admirer, huh?

The mooncakes were heavenly. Ashley told me back in Spain that she always looked forward to the mid-autumn festival because someone would go around the office and give people mooncakes, so to be able to taste them myself is wonderful to me. I hope you never stop making them despite your rant about how you've grown sick of eating them yourself. Since you're sick of it, I'll eat all of the filling and leave the yolks for you until you're ready to share the sugar with me again. (Oh, god. I'm embarrassed at those words please erase them from your brain)

You asked me why I quit the academy at dinner but I couldn't answer. I gave it a little more thought, and honestly, I do not know. For the vast majority of my life, I had been enamored with the idea that one day, I would become someone just as admirable as the man who saved me. After the academy, my dreams had dimmed a little, and after a very short time in the Raccoon City department, the corruption ultimately drove me away when I was scouted after saving a guy from a robbery. Most of my muscle has just been from the time that I was in the academy. I just keep to the same routine, so I'm sorry for lying and telling you to ask my trainer. I panicked. Please forgive me.

I'm getting ready for the beach shoot you had complained about before dinner that night. Honestly, I found it strange as well, but I honestly think the company is clinging on for dear life, so the chances of this happening again are most likely rather slim. I keep pieces of you in my day-to-day, a different egg dish each morning because you love them so much. (I wonder if you'll let me make breakfast for you one day? With eggs, of course. You can even have mine)

The letter's much longer than the ones before, but I just felt that it would only be fair to let my heart speak this time. Of course, if you do not like it, I can stick with updates in life only next time. Just, I thought it would be cute. God, the romcoms I binged after I left dinner with you are seeping into my writing, huh? Biggest apologies.

Seeing you soon, Leon

p.s. thank you for taking care of Sunshine while I was away. I think he recognized you from the faint smell of your perfume on your letters. He misses you (I do too)

Leon wonders if he should just hand the letter to you, but there's a part of him that argues that it would be unromantic of him to do so. You're a romantic at heart, he finds. From complaining about never receiving flowers to handing nearly everyone in the office a couple of mooncakes for a holiday that isn't even widely celebrated here, you're romantic to the heart.

You look at flower meanings rather than color, write as a hobby and own a cat you call Sesame Bun, and just everything around you is covered in a slight pink hue. Rose-tinted life. You choose to ignore all of your problems in favor of the good, affection seeping through even your letters, unabashedly reserved for everyone. You support to the best of your ability, so Leon wonders if it's finally time to support you back. Well, who knows if you need support. You seem fine by yourself, but he'd like to join you nonetheless. It doesn't hurt to have one more companion in your life.

"Scrambled eggs." He hums.

"Noël." You hum. "Sorry about dinner. Ada gets a little honest... while drunk."

"It was funny. You were the star of the show."

You grimace, glancing at the waves and the reflection of the sun.

Leon laughs, glancing over at the workers. "You didn't know?"

"I was drunk out of my mind when I kissed you on New Year's. I'm not smart, contrary to what I might give off." You stretch your arms above your head. "I won't avoid you asking for my number, if that's what you're wondering."

"I'm glad." He smiles. "I mailed out the letter earlier today. You should be getting it soon."

"I look forward to it." You nod. "Is it a love letter?"

"No promises."

You stick your tongue out in disgust.

"Doing anything on Halloween?"

"Luis' masquerade." You smile. "I hope you can find me."

"I always will." He mumbles. "Always."

"Oh, what a sap." You mumble, expression flustered nonetheless.

You trust that he will.

prev post : masterlist : next letter

[imtrashraccoon]

Headcanons!

Nightmare & his gang's reactions to being (affectionately) called a "bad boy".

I decided to do this rather than actually write something. @owl-bones ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

Axe

"uh... that's not a good thing, right?"

Poor guy is confused. He's already hyper aware of how much he's changed from the harmless comedian to a hulking monstrosity and he's constantly questioning why anyone would want to be friends with, let alone date, him. He still thinks it's a bit of a weird thing to call him once you explain, although he's flattered that you like how tough he looks. He doesn't really get it though? He's just being himself.

Killer

"you know it, cutie~"

Congrats! You just boosted his already very high ego. He already likes to wear stereotypical bad boy clothes so he's all too pleased to wear his new title as well. He's gonna be extra obnoxious about it for a little while but if you're this close with him already, you must have the patience of a saint. Don't be too surprised if he steals a motorcycle from some poor guy and tries to convince you to go for a ride. He doesn't have a license though...nor has he ever actually driven one.

Dust

"...? i thought that was obvious..."

He's a little confused but he's got the spirit. While he doesn't care as much about his appearance as Killer, Dust still has some fashion sense. He likes caps and has at least half a dozen already. Since he's the brooding type, nothing will really change but he's secretly pleased that you like his style. He might start showing off a bit, just to see your reaction, but ultimately will still want cuddles at the end of the day.

Nightmare

He gives you an odd look before patting your head in a slightly patronizing way. "I'm a villian, dear~"

He is actually rather amused by your comment but believes it isn't very accurate. He does his fair bit of brooding but that's about where the comparisons end since he has a variety of hobbies that tend to clash with the stereotype. He also dresses rather fancy and wouldn't even consider wearing anything like that. Probably... He might humour you if you're really close with him, but you'll owe him big time.

Baggs

He laughs. "oh, darling! if you only knew everything i've done, we wouldn't even be having this conversation. ...what?"

He'll insist he knew exactly what you meant and then question what you thought he meant. Good luck getting him to elaborate on whatever his statement implied though. You're a special person and he'd really rather not risk your opinion of him changing if you did find out. He's quite good at distracting you too, even without using his powers to modify your memory...

Bonus!

Cross

"huh? ...uh, thanks?"

It took him a second to realize you were actually trying to compliment him and now he's rather flustered at the thought. Isn't he a bit too uptight for that? He's a soldier, not some punk. But, the idea that you see this other side to him is kind of nice. Be prepared for questions about it and he might try to show off for you too. Despite not being sure of himself, he somehow succeeds and looks effortlessly cool at the same time.

Error

"N-no?? I'm literally j-just being myself??"

He is very, very confused. What even is a "bad boy"? He's not even doing anything wrong and is just purging the useless worlds like he's always done. You beg to differ, which actually starts to frustrate him. His clothes are comfy and he made them himself, there's no way he'll change, even if you beg him. You might have a sulky sack of bones on your hands for a while. Good thing he's easily bribed with chocolate and binge watching the latest installments of his favourite show universe.

[jae-bummer]

It's Only Lunch

Request: I just binged through My Idol Season 1&2 within a day and I’m in love with the way you write!! Then I saw your requests are open and I was even happier, cause I’m in desperate need of some idol!DK x nonidol!reader fluff :( I don’t have anything specific in mind you can do whatever you want, it can be angsty too if you want, just please give him a happy ending. There’s just not enough DK on this app in my opinion :( I hope you’re doing good and have a great day and if you ever actually write this then tysm!! 🩷🩵

Pairing: Seventeen DK x Reader

Genre: Fluff

.

"Hey, Y/N."

Looking up from your desk and towards the door of your office, you smiled. "DK, what brings you here?"

As soon as his name left your lips, you could see a bashful expression cross his face. Glancing down to his shoes before looking back up to you, he offered a tentative smile. "I just happened to be in the building and thought maybe you'd like to grab lunch with me?"

Blinking back in surprise, you cleared your throat. Technically, you and Dokyeom were coworkers, he an idol (obviously) and you working in the lower levels of management at Hybe. You had been part of the production crew for many a Seventeen project, so you had grown familiar with the guys over the years.

DK, more often than not, was the member that seemed to naturally gravitate toward you. When ordering lunch, passing out water, or resting on a break, he seemed to subconsciously seek you out. His shyness was adorable your first few run-ins, but once you realized he may have had a crush, you were already in far too deep yourself.

"I brought my lunch today," you managed, the words tasting sour in your mouth. "I was hoping I could take it at my desk to work through some things I'm behind on."

It wasn't a lie. You did need to catch up, but you also couldn't admit that hanging out privately with DK scared the crap out of you. He was gorgeous, side-splitting levels of funny, and completely unattainable. You knew if you spent more time around him, it wouldn't be long until you caught feelings.

"Oh," he chirped, beginning to nod. "Yeah, of course, I understand."

"Maybe next time though?" you asked, desperate to see that smile light up his face again.

"Of course," he hummed, giving you what you hoped for, but not nearly as genuine. "I'll stop by again when I'm back in the building."

And that's how the new routine began. At least once a week DK would show up in your doorway and you would think of a new and creative excuse not to fall in love with him.

Nearly a month after his original visit, you were typing out a relatively important email when your favorite nuisance showed up.

"Y/N," he drawled, leaning against the door frame. "I think I know your answer, but I'm here anyway."

You smiled sheepishly, ducking your head in an attempt to cool the heat scorching across your neck. You knew he would likely catch on to your MO, but you hadn't realized how embarrassing being confronted would be. "I'm sorry, DK. Things are so busy with your upcoming promotions and-"

"Can I at least grab your lunch for you from the common area?" he asked, tilting his head. "It'll save you a few steps."

"Sure," you nodded. He was incredibly sweet, which made it suck even more. "It's in the purple bento box."

"You got it!" he smiled, giving a quick spin before launching down the hallway.

You really did need to suck it up and either tell him to quit coming by or accept his advances. Just because you were a coward didn't mean that he needed to suffer. You were better not being perceived by anyone at his level of attractiveness. It would only be a matter of time before you somehow did something mortifying and turned him off forever.

After plugging away at the email for a few more minutes, you furrowed your brow and looked toward the hall. Surely, he should have found your food.

Just as you were about to hit send and head out his way, he appeared again. Holding your bento, his face was twisted in confusion. "This is yours, right?"

"Yeah," you said slowly. "Why?"

"Well," he sighed. "I looked for it everywhere in the fridge but couldn't find it. I moved everything around and was about to give up when I noticed it out of the corner of my eye. It was sitting in the communal sink, empty."

"Empty?" you muttered, standing. Crossing the room toward him, you took the lunch box from his hands. Sure enough, there was not a trace left of the food you had packed that morning. "I bring the same box every day. Who would eat out of it?"

"Did someone new start?" he asked, tilting his head. "Someone could have done it by mistake?"

"I guess," you sighed, dropping it on your desk. "I guess I can order in..."

"Why don't you let me go grab something?" he asked. "We can eat together in your office, so you don't even have to step away."

The hopeful look in his eyes crushed what little self-preservation you had left. This option really provided no wiggle room for an excuse. "I don't want to make you go to all that trouble..."

"No trouble at all!" he smiled, already turning away from you.

"Wait," you sighed, teetering on the line that you had drawn for yourself. "Let me send this email and I'll come with you."

"You will?" he gasped, but immediately schooled his features. "I mean, sounds good."

Mentally preparing yourself to rip off the Band-Aid, you may have spent a bit longer on the email than you had intended. It was difficult to think clearly with DK wandering around your space, peering at every framed picture and book you had haphazardly stacked around.

"Ready?" you asked, after reading through what you had written for probably the thirtieth time. At this point, you would just hit send and hope for the best.

"Born ready," he smiled, his eyes disappearing into crescents. "There's this really cute noodle place right down the street. I was thinking we could go there?"

Your brain fished around in its recesses for the restaurant he was talking about. If you could recall correctly, it was a notorious spot for couples. The thought made you swallow, hard. "Sure."

"Perfect," he hummed. "Madam?"

Offering his elbow to you, you hesitated before taking it. So, this was really happening. You were going to break down and go on a not-date with Dokyeom. He had labeled it as just "grabbing lunch," but why did you feel like it was so much more?

As you would realize later, it was because if you gave an inch, Dokyeom would take a mile. It wasn't long into your walk before he started complaining about it being sweltering outside. The weather was only 24°C, so it was hardly balmy. After peeling off his jacket, he quickly switched up to holding your hand.

Glancing down in surprise to see his long fingers intertwined with yours, you looked back up to him, wide-eyed.

"Is this okay?" he asked cheerfully.

You gave a silent nod before fixing your eyes in front of you again. You were so screwed.

.

Against your better judgement, lunch with DK was a blast. Being around him was so effortless. As you talked over jajangmyeon, it was easy to open up and show sides of yourself that you only reserved for those closest to you. You didn't realize you were even doing it until after you already had, making you go into an overthinking spiral of whether or not you were sharing too much.

In the end, it didn't really matter because Dokyeom seemed to like it that way.

When he returned you to your office, he gave you a long hug before insisting on coming by again soon. After everything, you sat behind your desk, a bit numb in the aftereffects of all things DK.

He hadn't asked for your number and aside from holding your hand, he really hadn't made any advances. His body language was overwhelmingly flirty, but you weren't sure if that's just how he was naturally or not.

"Accept it for what it is," you muttered to yourself, shaking off the cobwebs in your brain. Even if things didn't cross over into "more than friends" territory like your heart was already considering, just having him as a close friend would be fulfilling enough.

No matter how many times you told yourself that DK was just displaying normal, friendly behavior, it was all thrown out of the window when he showed up again the next week.

Carrying a bouquet of what looked to be a mix of wildflowers, he strode up to your desk and sat on the edge. "Now, we've made remarkable progress last week when you had no other options but to have lunch with me. Can we defy the universe and have it happen again?"

You let out a surprised snort. "Maybe if you gave me an idea of when you were coming, I'd be more prepared to leave the office."

"Where's the fun in that?" he asked. "These are for you by the way."

"I would have been only a little heartbroken if you came into my office with flowers that were not for me," you smiled, taking them from his hands.

"So, are you setting me up for a gentle letdown?" he asked, quirking a brow. "Or are you wanting to try the new burger place a block down?"

"I really-"

"Need to finish up this project, so I'm working at my desk," he finished with a soft smile.

"But this time, I really do mean it," you laughed.

"You didn't before?!" he gasped.

Shit. You didn't want to let that little factoid slip. See, this is what happened when you let your guard down around him.

"I may or may not have been avoiding your lunch invitation for a few weeks," you winced. "But you're intimidating!"

"On what planet?!"

"Earth!" you groaned, hiding behind your fingers.

DK sighed before sliding off of your desk and facing you. "I'll forgive you if you come eat with me."

"Well, that's not fair," you pouted.

"Fine," he harrumphed. "I'll just have to take it into my own hands like last time."

"Like last time?" you asked, narrowing your eyes at him.

Covering his mouth with his hand, DK stood as still as a statue.

"You know," you grumbled, crossing your arms. "You're not going to get out of this by hoping I forget about you because you're not moving."

"It would work if you were a t-rex," he muttered, dropping his arms to rest at his side.

"Spill it, Seokmin," you sighed.

"I accidentally ate your lunch last week," he said quickly.

"I'm sorry," you laughed. "You what?"

"When I was grabbing your bento out of the fridge, I had a lightbulb moment," he whined. "I thought if you didn't have your food, you'd be forced to eat with me...so I just...inhaled it. You make excellent bibimbap by the way."

You didn't know if you wanted to laugh or smack him. "You set me up!"

"Because you were avoiding me!" he exclaimed, sending an accusatory finger your way. "You said it yourself!"

"Because you're intimidating!" you repeated.

"How?! How am I intimidating and why is this news to me?!"

"You're incredibly dreamy!" you blurted. "And I was scared that I was going to fall for you, alright?"

DK took a small step back as if you had actually chose to smack him. He kept quiet as his wide eyes blinked at you.

"Please say something," you whispered, pinching the bridge of your nose.

At a painfully slow rate, a smile spread across his lips. "You think I'm dreamy?"

Plopping into your rolling chair, you leaned against your desk, and hid in the fortress of your arms. It was not physically or mentally possible for you to be more horrified.

"Y/N!" DK cooed, immediately stepping around to where you were sitting. Wrapping his arms around your shoulders, he rested his chin on your head. "That is the cutest thing I have ever heard."

"I hate it," you muttered into your sleeves.

"I don't," he chuckled. "And if you haven't figured it out by now, I think you're pretty dreamy too."

"Really?' you squeaked.

"You think I offer to buy lunch and flowers for Mingyu once a week?" he asked. Nuzzling his face into your hair, he laughed again. "I guess we were both hiding something from each other."

"I can't believe you ate twice just to get me to go out with you," you muttered, finally sitting up.

"You're worth the stomachache I had afterwards," he smiled. "I was scared that if I tried to kiss you, the nerves would make my stomach pop."

"Please tell me you didn't eat my lunch again today?" you joked. DK's lips fell into a flat line as he looked away from you. "You didn't!"

"I was prepared to do whatever I had to do!" he gasped. "Now are you coming with me to lunch or not?!"

"Yes," you laughed, shaking your head. "I absolutely will."

[thatdeadaquarius]

When I’m playing genshin, I’m mostly listening to either Paternity Court, or Steve Wilkos. Imagine the characters hearing all of the stuff and being so scandalized by the results and comments. Or being genuinely disgusted and heartbroken for the victims in more serious cases. I can def see a good chunk of them being invested

I don’t think I’ve listened to those yet! I do occasionally get on a true crime binge listen, however the weirdest thing my characters have heard has gotta be Game Grumps episodes or compilations lol

What if i listened to every season of Buzzfeed Unsolved.

What would we do then my Genshin characters, my people, what then.

I saw someone else write about this true crime documentary thing but they described everyone being pretty terrified or disgusted by the podcasts

Which I definitely think some would be literally horrified lmao

But also I think a lot of them definitely would be invested-

I mean shit,

you're listening to your God and they just start playing this like uncomfortably detailed intricate crime case/murder report???

I would be so interested in what kind of person they were, and why they were listening to true crime stuff, 

so needless to say characters like Heizou and Yelan would definitely be into it, maybe Kujou Sara as well?

I can see Zhongli getting into it too and Raiden

I mean don't get me wrong plenty would be disturbed

like rest in peace Barbara 🙏

but like it would be fascinating to them too!!

cuz they don't know anything about our world so they could learn a lot about it thru listening to this stuff

tho it probably cause a lot of confusion whenever they hear things like phone or computer or car lol

you know stuff that hasn't been invented yet for them or there is no equivalent, but they

would deffo interrogate u about ur world when u get to Teyvat

♤

okay but on a more silly motherfucker note-

what if I was playing Game Grumps around them lol, would they be like oh my God our Creator has the best comedians or hilarious friends

like you know how a king has jesters? 😭

I feel like they would think that instead of a recording definitely, especially because most of these things are just people talking and not like, a speech or something

because audio recordings could exist for them, they would probably get it in concept, they do have Ley lines that do that afterall (and now Kameras)

♧

Omg,

oh no, would they think that you're getting these reports in person??  Or even like your SOLVING all these crimes?? 

esp bc I know myself and I tend to sometimes be talking to Genshin characters like,

"damn that's how he got arrested? How stupid he could've blah blah blah i sound like a hardened cop playing a gacha game lmao blah blah...."

it'd be so funny to see that one play out

when u get whisked away to teyvat and Heizou and Yelan are just:

"oh my God can you help us with all these cases we love your mind, or get your servants to help us?"

THEY WOULDNT EVEN BELIEVE U IF U TRIED TO BE LIKE "no no please ur the professionals idk wtf im doing guys-"

Heizou/Yelan: 🤨🤨

"likely story Most Honorable God, but we heard quite the fascinating theories just last week before u descended, hmmm...."

u cant win, 

honestly everyone would probably just assume ur not only the god who created/built teyvat but also have a domain in justice, comedy or honestly whatever u be playing all the time, including music, people would definitely think ur a music god too

esp if ur like me and u just turn on a cool Spotify playlist while u play sometimes, like they've probably never heard so many radically different genres songs, and so many back to back

(could definitely see a myth about u having an immortal inexhaustible musician band that has access to all the songs of the universe that u make them play for you, once again, would be hard to deny bc that's a pretty accurate description of spotify lol)

♡

srry abt my ✨️ass writing✨️ anon!!

I am getting to these old asks so late I hope u guys r alright with getting answered so late, ya boy has been busy 

Im busy partially bc i have a end of year art exhibition!

Basically at my university, if ur an art major, u have to have some of ur best work from ur time at university and display it in a Senior year art exhibition in the university's art museum! Its super cool! And stressful! :D!!

Anyway im so happy i have no object permanence bc everytime i open my drafts or my inbox, even the old asks :( , are  a new surprise every time :D lmao

Safe Travels,

💀♒️

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist

[epically-ace-attorney]

*Intro Post ~ Welcome to the chaos!*

Hallo! This blog is an Ace Attorney AU using the musical EPIC! Canon is our bitch and we do as we please :)

The blog is joint run by @weltato (hi) and @the-ace-attorney-siren (formerly @burtrice1). Feel free to ask us anything about this AU in the inbox and not DMs - PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS IS A WIP AU AND IS CONSTANTLY BEING THOUGHT OUT!!

The "backstory" I suppose would be that Wel was watching a great guy on YouTube by the name of Mortius (you should check him out, he's cool) react to "We'll Be Fine" and "Love in Paradise" from the most recent saga released from EPIC as of writing this (20/09/2024) - The Wisdom Saga. Wel had also been binging through some Ace Attorney streams by The NyanCave (also really cool, you should check them out too) and had that on the brain at the same time. Then she noticed something interesting - Odysseus had been on Calypso's Island for seven years.

You wanna know who else had a seven year gap? Phoenix Wright.

So obviously, I go to burtrice1 and say:

And then this happens:

And everything came from there. Just imagine it: Phoenix on that cliff calling for Mia T^T

Anyway, we had some planning to do: there is currently a list of characters from The Ace Attorney Trilogy, Ace Attorney: Investigations 1 & 2 (we're using the fan translation names in this house), and Ace Attorney: Apollo Justice (because Wel hasn't finished Dual Destinies and hasn't seen Spirit of Justice yet) and what people from EPIC they're going in as.

*RULES OF THE BLOG!*

No spoilers for the games please! There will be people that see this blog with no idea about the Ace Attorney series and they'll want to find out themselves (also one mod hasn't finished the series yet).

No spoilers for EPIC! There will be people that see this blog with no idea what the craic is with EPIC and letting them experience the joy that is this musical is all the sweeter with no spoilers <3

As previously mentioned: game canon is our bitch and we do what we want with it, which means that if you see an inconsistency with ages or anything, no you don't ;p

To second that: we are fitting characters with roles we feel they fit the best in EPIC canon, so a villain from Ace Attorney might show up as a 'good guy' from EPIC - it's not because we've redeemed them, it's just that they fit the role nicely.

Please keep questions PG, there are minors that enjoy both Ace Attorney and EPIC and we'd like to keep this blog a safe space for everyone.

In the words of Ricky Potts: don't be a dick. We don't tolerate harassment of either the mods or anyone sending an ask into our inbox. Respect isn't hard, friend :)

If you've asked us a question and we haven't responded yet, please don't go into our personal inboxes or DMs to ask us about it - see the rule above. Both mods are busy people and do this purely for fun, so we'll get to your question when we see it. The timezone of this blog is GMT/BST depending on the time of year, so both mods could very well be asleep.

The canon of this AU follows with EPIC canon, which is NOT the actual Odyssey or Iliad. If you want to read those in your own time, feel free to.

Have fun! We want to share this with people to see your reactions and interact with other fans of the Ace Attorney games and EPIC: The Musical.

If you're excited about this blog, REBLOG OUR POSTS!! Reblogging is the lifeblood of Tumblr and can make or break a post. We want to reach as many people as possible with this silly little idea of ours.

If you want to write fics about our AU, please ask us first! Wel is a regular fic writer and she has some ideas floating around, so maybe let her finish those first before jumping in - but we love the enthusiasm! Thank you!

Fanart is awesome!! Please credit the idea to this blog and @ us in the post with the tag #epicallyaa, we'd love to see what you've done :D

This post will update with extra rules as and when needed, if we need to <3

*TAGS!*

#wel writes - this is for whenever Wel writes a fanfic about something. This is a personal tag from Wel, so if you want to see more of her work feel free to peruse that tag on her main Tumblr account. All the fics posted here will be specifically for this AU.

#siren art - this is for whenever the-ace-attorney-siren posts art to this blog. Again, any art posted here will be specifically for this AU.

#epicallyaa - this is a tag for us and others to use about our AU! If you post any fanart or fanfic about our AU, use this tag and @ this account too so that we can see your awesomeness :D

#wel answers - whenever Wel answers an ask

#the siren sings - whenever the-ace-attorney-siren answers an ask

Like the rules, more tags will be added as and when we feel we need some more.

Thanks for reading all of this!! This post is very important to read, so if you come in asking questions blind, we might just refer you to this post and ask you to try again :)

~ Wel & the-ace-attorney-siren

[effy-writes]

Addict (Blitz x Reader)

7: CHERUB: Wack The Hell Out Of ‘Em

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The group was flipping through the channels, trying to figure out what to watch.

You didn't look so good, occasional tremors, couldn't stop scratching yourself, and very noticeable eye bags were seen. You haven't been doing drugs since that one incident during spring break, but you're slowly falling back into the hole. You can't get ahold of anything because Blitz is always keeping an eye on you.

The years of doing drugs still left a number on your body/face. You were still thin because the stimulants fucked up your stomach so you get full easily. Your face had scratch scars on them from meth binges, and your teeth well…some were missing and chipped. You hated yourself for doing this, you hate your parents, and you hate the circus. If it wasn’t for greed then you wouldn’t be going through withdrawals at work. If it wasn’t for greed then Blitz wouldn’t have to be up your ass all the time (literally too).

Your head rested on the cold table. It cooled your skin, helping with the low grade fever you had. Even though you were still shaking, the temperature of the table soothed you. The table rumbled, making you raise your head up in a very annoyed way.

"Guys... do you feel that?" Loona questioned as her ears perked up.

"Oh, shit! Is that a hellshake?" Blitz jumped up.

You rolled your eyes, "Those don't exist."

"That's possible?" Moxxie added.

"No, Moxxie. Blitz is just an asshole." You spat.

"Hey!" Blitz pointed his finger at you before losing his balance due to the shake.

"Don't panic, Moxxie!" Millie put her hands on her husband's shoulders.

"I'm not panicking because hellquakes don't happen."

"STOP GETTING HYSTERICAL, FATTY!" Loona shook him.

Everyone flinched whenever the wall was tore down. You dusted yourself off and looked at the new hole.

"Oh goddamnit, I just scrubbed the hell out of that wall!"

A hybrid robotic guy stepped out, "Do not be afraid!"

"Please tell me you got that insurance thing." Blitz groaned.

Millie grabbed her axe and was ready to attack this older fellow, "Who are you, and what do you want!"

"I am Loopty Goopty! Dastardly inventor of all things loopy and loopiiiiiish!"

"Loopy Goopty?" You asked Millie, the two of you snickering.

"Coulda just used the door, dude. Doesn't need to be this whole thing." Loona acknowledge.

"Ugh! This old fuck reeks of the living world. Did you just die?" Blitz crossed his arms.

"Yes! Moments ago, in fact! Which is what brought me here!"

"Just sayin'... the front door would've gotten you here fine." Loona pulled out her phone and started typing.

"Shut up, dear furry!"

You couldn't contain your laughter, Loona growled and pointed at you. "Hey! You're going to clean this shit up so I don't know why you're laughing!"

Loopy showed Blitz the man that he wants them to kill, "Not even a shit's length of time in Hell and already plotting revenge. I can respect a man with that sort of passion! I'm Blitzo, the "O" is silent."

"What O?"

"Aww thank you, now what's the tea, sis?"

During their interaction, Moxxie was shouting for help in which nobody helped him. You looked around and sighed, walking over to Moxxie and tried picking up the debris. You obviously struggled to get it off.

"You can use your strength to fight a fish but not to pick up a wall?"

You slumped your shoulders.

"Sorry, I can tell I hit a nerve there."

You didn't say anything and finally lifted up the debris with a grunt.

"Alright Y/n, you're coming with us to kill this guy!" Blitz pulled you away.

"Blitz-"

He pulled you closer to him and whispered, "I don't want you to do drugs so I'm forcing you to go," He gritted.

~~~

The four imps put on some shitty disguises and found their way to Lyle's mansion.

"Gee! I wonder whose house this is." Moxxie said with sarcasm.

"Let's do this, gang!" Blitz demanded.

The three imps was spying on him through the window, (you on the other hand wasn’t even looking out the window, you didn’t even wanna be here).

"That machine really did a number on him." Moxxie acknowledged.

Lyle tied the tubes that were connected to him into a noose before putting it around his neck.

"Oh, fantastic! He's gonna do our job for us!" Blitz rejoiced, looking over at you, whose back was against the wall, not looking in.

"Don't want to see him kill himself?" He joked.

"Not really, no."

A blast of light blinded the main four. "What the fuck?" You uncovered your eyes.

"Who the fuck are they?" Blitz coughed.

"Oh no, they're-"

"Cherubs, Mr. Lyle!" They interrupted Moxxie.

"I hate filthy orphan children!"

"We're here to convince you not to kill yourself sir!"

Blitz angrily stood up and made his way into the house, "Oh, HEEEELL no!"

Moxxie and Millie followed Blitz. You didn't care about this whole thing, you just wanted to leave. You're not even pissed that you can't get stimulants, pissed that you have to be here trying to kill someone. Not because of your morals, you don't give a fuck about killing, but it's because you think you're not capable of doing so without stimulants.

The 3 imps and the 3 cherubs rolled Lyle's bed outside to see nature. Blitz realized that you weren't with them.

"Y/n!" He yelled.

You groaned and walked over to the others, "Here, dad."

"Hey now, we both agreed for you to call me that on the full moon."

Everyone turned their heads and stared at you two with horror on their faces.

"What? Fucking prudes." Blitz scoffed.

"Look around, Lyle. God's gift of nature is a wonder to behold, regardless of age!" One of the Cherubs beamed.

"Mm-hm. You're gonna buy that load of shit from a baby and the sheep it fucks?" Blitz laughed.

Keenie gasped, "That is so inappropriate!"

"Aaaanyway, take it from me, a fellow genius. Nature is no picnic up close." Blitz pulled out binoculars and handed it to Lyle. There was some animals gnawing at one another. The Cherubs was trying to take it away from him but he won't budge.

"I can't stop! I never wanted to die more than ever now!"

The Cherubs try to keep convincing Lyle to not kill himself by taking him to the mall and Lovers Lookout, but the imps (other than you) were trying to point out all of the bad things about these places.

Blitz caught on soon enough, Millie and Moxxie don't know what's going on between the two of you. Neither Blitz nor you has mentioned the drug addictions and what happened during Spring Break. The only thing Millie and Moxxie know was that you were in rehab.

They all ended up watching an opera. You were actually pretty relaxed about this opera, you enjoy them oddly enough.

"So... how do we make this bad?" Millie questioned.

"We can't. There's literally nothing bad about opera. That's fact."

"I actually agree with you, Mox." You spoke.

He gasped, "You like operas!"

"I do."

"Enough of the chit chatter, I have an idea on how to make it bad." Blitz said mischievously.

Blitz kept messing with the light and the opera singer, before you know it, it ended up falling and crushing the poor woman. Your's and Moxxie's jaws dropped.

The Cherubs angrily fly up to the imps. "That's it! I have had it! We're just trying to do our jobs!"

"And so are we!" Moxxie yelled.

"Enough!" He drew a golden bow and arrow, "We are saving that shitty old man's life, whether he wants it or not!"

"Well, someone wants that fucker dead, m'kay? And he paid in advance, and I spent it all on this jewelry, so he's gotta go!" Blitz yelled back.

The Cherubs started to fight the main three. You felt like you needed to help since you haven't done jack shit today. A wooden rod caught your eye, deciding to use that to possibly hit one of the Cherubs.

You stood on the rail of the catwalk and saw Cleatus in the air, getting ready to fight Blitz. You took a deep breath and jumped off, swinging the wooden rod directly to his face. The Cherub screamed as he flew across.

Oh shit I haven't thought this through. Gravity pushed you down and right before you fell onto the bloodied up stage somebody grabbed your leg.

"Way to go, Y/n!" Blitz shouted. He used his momentum to swing back onto the catwalk and hoisted you up.

Blitz lost his balanced and dropped you directly on top of him. "I know you like to be on top but can you get up?" He teased.

"Right, sorry." You stood up, reaching your hand to help him up but he didn't take it.

The two got off of the crosswalk and saw Lyle lying dead.

"Guess the Cherubs did the job for us." You laughed.

"You know...you should seriously become an assassin with us."

"I don't know Blitz...I barely did anything. Just wack 'em with a broom."

"We can teach you, I can teach you." He placed his hands on your shoulders.

"I need the strength, Blitz. I need the stamina, the energy."

Blitz knew what you were getting at. "Y/n...you don't need stimulants. I saw you jump and swung the hell out of that fucker. I believe in you." He reassured, lips curling into a soft smile.

You slowly nodded your head to agree. "Thanks, Blitz."

You partially agree with him, you may not need stimulants, but you believe that you'll be better if you do them.

~~~

"Welp, the old man wanted to live again and we didn't kill him, so we failed. Thanks to those fuckin' cherubs, he's probably up in Heaven now, so... It's a shame. All our client wanted was eternal revenge on his business partner. And now the two are forever separated, and now we gotta face the fire of fuckin' up." He sighed.

"Sir... when are you going to tell the client?" Moxxie asked.

Blitz held up his phone, "Oh, I already sent him a text, and... we're in good hands, 'cause texts don't make people angry."

Everyone heard yelling in the distance. A metal escalator crashed into a different part of the wall. The debris falling on top of Moxxie again with Lyle Lipton stepping out.

"Lyle Lipton?" Millie and Blitz yelled.

"I don't understand. We thought you went to Heaven." Millie raised her eyebrow.

"Heaven?! You don't make millions in technological advances in robotics by NOT experimenting on the poor!" Lyle laughed.

"Oh, you no-good, HEARTLESS son of a BITCH" Loopty turned to Blitz, "Thank you for reuniting me with my best friend!"

"The only question now is what do two old genius robotic inventors do now that we're in Hell?" Lyle questioned.

Wally crashes through the ceiling, and the two robotic (possibly lovers) had smiles that reached ear to ear.

"Everyone, STOP FUCKIN' UP MY WALLS! Moxxie's gonna have to fix all this shit!"

"Me? Y/n is the janitor!"

"Not anymore, Mox! This bitch got promoted!"

"I guess... you can say, you say, you have a... holey operation here, Blitzo!" Wally pointed to the open wall and laughed.

"Get out." Blitz deadpanned.

Wally and the two possibly robotic lovers exchanged looks.

"No, I'm serious. Get the FUCK OUT!"

The three left, damaging another wall.

"Y/n got promoted?" Millie cheered. "Since when?"

"Since today! Y/n, you're our new assassin!" Blitz gave you a drawn certificate that is filled with horse drawings and says, "Cumgrats."

"Sir, does Y/n know how to fight?"

"Nope! But she sure can wack the hell out of things." He ruffled your hair.

"Please stop messing with my hair."

[ivestas]

the lady of crime alley

Summary: Jason had heard rumors of a woman who ruled Crime Alley and all of its underworld connections, so he pursues her for a favor. 

Tags: jason todd x fem!reader, canon typical violence, unedited

Word count: 1.2k

Notes: i’ve been on a red hood comic binge and i always thought his narration was corny in the best way, so i hope i was able to emulate that through this fic hehejejjejehe (also i use ‘tugging at your pigtails’ as a metaphorical descriptor, not an actual physical attribute of reader!) alsoo, please send some batfam requests! 

Jason had heard murmurs of the woman who was the true ruler of Crime Alley and all of its underworld connections. 

At first, he dubbed it a win for feminism, because women too can be major players in crime worlds! 

But then it got annoying real fast, because for some reason, you were real good at hiding your trail; every turn he went, the moment he thought he caught a glimpse of you, you were gone moments later like ash in the wind. 

It took him five of your men and his a few hours of continuous beating to get the vaguest clue of where exactly you resided; he spent the rest of the week nosing his way through that misty trail, his irritation growing by every second he had to march down Gotham’s shittiest streets, and it didn’t help that his red hood hardly had any breathing holes. 

He was trying to keep his cool—he really was!—but the more you seemed to toss at him your half-starved homeless men at him, the more brutal the remnants of them became. 

“God fuckin’—jesus, just tell me where the lady is!” He spat. “I just have some questions, that’s all, why does she keep sending you guys—“

“We’re telling you nuthin’, that woman’s an angel and you ain’t gettin’ yer dirty mitts on ‘er!” The man—a ragged, gaunt-looking guy—heaved, blood pooling out his mouth. "You’ll never see ‘er—!” 

“You just wanna talk?” 

Jason’s head snapped up, hand still wrapped around the man’s throat. 

In the warehouse which he had 'accidentally’ beat everyone half to death, a woman stood at the entrance. Though it was night, the moon was bright enough for Jason to make out some of her features. 

She’s easy on the eyes.

Suddenly, all the pent up irritation that had been writhing under his skin dissipated. 

He’s a sucker for hot women. 

“Hey,” He rose from the man’s body, standing tall. “You must be the ‘true ruler of Crime Alley’ or whatever—it’s a bit of a dumb name, don’t you think?” 

You were silent, face scrunched. 

“Jeez, tough crowd—”

“What do you want, Red Hood?” You sounded mildly annoyed, as if he’s just some pesky kid tugging at your pigtails or something. 

You took a step forward into the warehouse, arms crossed. “Talk. You have my attention now.” 

“Oooo-kay, great! So, I kind of need help with something—a favor, if you will,” he raised his sword. It was busted and dull, practically just a dented piece of iron than an actual blade. “I need a replacement for this—” he grinned. “—And all the information you have about Black Mask and his connections with Joker.” 

“...are you dumb?” 

“What?” 

“Do you actually think I’m some ruler of Crime Alley? You weren’t joking?” You laughed, eyes wide. 

“You’re not?” 

“No! I’m not the fucking ruler of anything! Come on Red Hood, is critical thinking not your strong suit?!” 

“Hey, hey, c’mon lady, go easy on me—“

“I’m just the woman who gives the people here a place to stay! That’s it! Is this the reason you’ve been up my ass?!” You scowled at him. Were you a model, because you even made pissed look delicious. “Beating up a bunch of homeless guys ’cause you thought I was a fuckin’ mob boss or something?—yeah, mob boss of the homeless? Seriously?"

He raised his hands. “Okay, when you word it like that, I feel dumb.” 

“You are dumb—anyway, do me a favor and stop beating up the guys here? Please!?” You hissed, your hands balled into fists. “Because I’m the one that fixes up their wounds and I don’t have the money to keep buying gauze and shit.” 

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry, I’ll lay off—though you coulda just have talked to me earlier?” He muttered the last part but you somehow still heard.

“You think I’m gonna go talk to the ‘Red Hood’? The guy that kills on his free time?” 

He sighed dramatically. “Touche—and it’s for a good cause! I only kill people that—“

“Yeah, yeah, don’t list me your commandments to be on your fuckin’ hit list, God you’re annoying.” 

He laughed. “I have a feeling I’ve pissed you off—”

“You beat a bunch of guys I take care of half dead. Pissed is hardly covering it.”

“—and you know what? I don’t like pissing off pretty women—I said it! I don’t like it. So, I humbly apologize.” He swept his leg and arm in unison into a grandiose bow. 

You scoffed, going to one of the unconscious men and pressing your fingers to his pulse. “I only accept apologies in cash.” 

“Oh, okay, that’s much easier,” making his way to you, he tugged off one of his blood-soaked gloves and rummaged his pocket. A couple hundred dollar bills were in there. 

He extended them to you. “These enough to soothe any hiccups?”

You carefully moved the unconscious man to the ground. From the pockets of your giant jacket came a small bag with a bottle of antiseptic, bandages, and a bunch of other shit. 

You then looked at him, brows furrowed. “That’s... a lot of money.”

“Is it?” 

“Yeah? Do you have enough money for yourself?” 

Jason stared at you for a moment before barking out a harsh laugh. That earned him a frown. “You’re worried? About me?” 

“No, I just don’t want you to beat some person up for their money if this is all you have—“

“Baby, I’m rich, I shit gold bars, just take it.” 

You glared at him for a second before snatching the money, shoving it into your pocket before tending to the man. Pushing up his shirt, Jason saw his body was covered in lacerations and bruises. 

Jason whistled. “Damn, didn’t think I was that strong.” 

“Fuck off.” You sprayed some antiseptic. The man groaned. 

Jason sat. He should be going off and looking for more trails of Black Mask, but he didn’t really want to—not right now, anyway. 

Even if you’re not some mob boss or whatever, you were still intriguing, and he’s a curious guy, he can’t help but want to watch you some more. 

However, he was quick to notice how stiff you were under his gaze.

His head tipped to the side. “Hey, do I scare you?” 

You ignored him, running a rag along the guy’s body. Blood stained the white cloth instantly. You lifted the cloth and looked at Jason. 

“This is the worst you could do. Beat someone. Maybe flay them. Then they die.” 

He hummed. 

“So when you say ‘scare’, I assume you mean the idea of you beating me or whatever—killing me, or torturing, your shit.” Your eyes went back to the beaten guy, continuing with the cleaning. “You don’t.”

“If that’s the case, then why’d you avoid me?” 

“Because I had shit to do, that’s why.” You unraveled a gauze. “Not everything’s about you—eugh, I can’t lift him, hey, since you’re just sitting here, help me a little—yeah, just like that, thank you,” you swept the gauze under the man’s back then brought it back up. You repeated that motion. “But yeah, not really scary. Death is just—well, death.”

Jason nodded along. You were weird. 

He liked weird. 

When you were done, Jason put the man back down.

“Well, I gotta go now, duty calls and all.”

“Okay.” You got up, moving to the next guy. 

“Bye?” 

“Just leave.”

AO3

Masterlist

Requests are open

[starryriize]

hiii <3 i was binge reading ur bnd posts and omggg can u pls do riwoo delulu thoughts 🥹🥹?

delulu thoughts | riwoo

╰┈ ⋆｡˚ 🪼 author’s note: this was so cute to write :(( i love riwoo sm pls! i wrote this while watching murder mysteries...hehe but i found this so fun 🤭 not proofread at all!

୨୧ lets you come to his practices because your support and cheers when he's dancing give him a lot of motivation! loves how you record sometimes and how big your smile gets when you watch him bc he's so cool and charismatic when dancing :((

୨୧ enjoys the simple things in life so your dates consist of walking with his dog and shopping together!! you guys are so cute together that the salespeople in the store give you both discounts 😭🫶🏼

୨୧ the type to buy your favorite dessert on the way home from practice! he comes home and you guys share the dessert while watching a movie 🥹 (even feeds you if you ask)

୨୧ picnic!!! dates!!! he loves everything about it: from the sun, the chill vibes, the simple happiness he gets when he's with you 🫶🏼 his dog absolutely loves you too and that's when he knows that you're definitely his future 🥹

୨୧ the type to be out with his friends and smile because he's just remembered something about you or a cute thing you do!! doesn't care that his friends tease him :(( (stop i love him so much)

୨୧ he's confident yet still shy when you take him to meet your parents :(( not to worry though, your parents love him! he told them how you guys met and how you both confessed at the same time 😭 also told them that he promises to never break your heart <3

୨୧ loves having you in his life and goes to all your events, if possible!! brings you flowers and sits in the front row as your biggest supporter 🤭 gives you a tight hug, yk one of those hugs where he picks you up and spins you in circles!!

୨୧ the type to giggle between kisses!! whispers things such as "you're so cute" and "you're mine" :(( he just loves you and sometimes he gets clingy and expresses it via tiny kisses 🫶🏼

୨୧ teaching! you! to! dance! omg, he takes you to an empty practice room and takes your hand, teaching you some easy steps 😌 gives you kisses (that vary in intensity) when you perform well!! he's also so patient about it 🫶🏼 (gotta love a patient man)

୨୧ believes in soulmates! thinks about how he knows he found his soulmate since you walked into his life :(( often compares you to the sun to his moon 🥹

୨୧ ^^going off of this, he also writes songs about you!! or makes a stunningly, beautiful choreography inspired by you <3 (bonus: he performs it at an award show🤭)

୨୧ overall, 100000/10 green flag! he loves you so much please don’t let him go!! he would give you the whole universe if you asked because he knows how special you are 🫶🏼