#please if you know where i can find a wizard hat with a cowboy brim base please let me know
ratbastarddotfuck · 9 months
Fucking h*rry p*tter has made it impossible to find anything wizard related on the internet and that is a fucking shame. "Wizard fabric" is all h*rry p*tter prints. "Wizard hat" is all just that fucking stupid h*rry p*tter hat. "Wizard lingerie" gives me fucking h*rry p*tter themed lingerie, do you understand?? I'm trying to dress as a sexy wizard, why is it so hard to dress as a sexy wizard? Does the world hate cool shit??
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amunetred · 6 years
Black and Blue
A/N: Chapter 2 of Leorai Week, Fantasy.  Be sure to read Chapter 1, Black and Blue first, because I’m writing my 7 days in the form of a consecutive short story. #blackandblue
Some days I’m sure I’ll lose to fate
Some days I cannot find my faith
But I just fight on
I just fight on
I just fight on baby
– Sia, Black & Blue
 Chapter 2
As he breeched the surface of the tunnel the flicker of red light, the flame, grew steadily brighter.  He climbed out, allowing more of the warm red glow toward my eyes. Then he hauled me up.  What I hadn’t expected, hadn’t had a chance to block as I climbed to my hands and knees, was his foot to my stomach sending me rolling across the cavern floor, smashing my head against a rock.  Then that flicker of firelight, extinguished….
“Are ya okay, human? Ya hit yer head on that tree branch pretty hard.”
What? Tree branch my ass, it was a damned rock.  I opened my eyes, prepared for the darkness of the cave, but the sky was bright, the sun- where the hell was the sun? Where was the rip in the universe? Where was the Dark?  
“Uh, if we’re going to catch the boat we need to keep moving.” A green, three-fingered hand thrust itself into my face.  “Here, let me help you up.”
My eyes locked on the familiar scar across his knuckles, my heart skipping beats as I lifted my gaze to meet eyes brighter than a neon sky. But something wasn’t right.  What the hell was Leonardo wearing?  A cowboy hat?  Carrying six shooters?  I scampered to my feet, quite unlike an elegant kunoichi. Dirt wafted into the air coating my- what the hell was I wearing?  The jeans were fine, but leather chaps?  Cowboy- I mean cowgirl boots?  As I dropped my gaze to a button down shirt and open tasseled leather vest, the brim of a hat slid down shielding my eyes.  Oh, what new hell is this?  
“Come on, human, we ain’t got all day.”  
Raphael?  My head snapped up, and I shoved the hat back, rebalancing it on my head.  Don’t know why I didn’t take the damn thing off, except that it did take the sharp white glow off things.  Oh gods, Raphael doesn’t look right either.  I took in the turtle wearing chain-mail and a clunky metal helmet.  Oh gods. Not just any metal helmet.  The Kuro Kabuto.  I swallowed hard.
“Get up, already.  Gees, I still don’t know why we gotta drag you along. It ain’t like yer a wizard-” Raphael pointed to Michelangelo, who wore a purple gown covered in large silver stars, wielding—Splinter’s staff.  My stomach turned.  What was this?  What was happening?  Had I gone mad?  Is this what April felt like, all crazy and confused? But Raphael pointed to her next. “Or useful like a psychic.”
The spunky redhead wore a yellow organza gown that reminded me of Belle from Beauty and The Beast, the ridiculous musical movie that was visually stunning, yet annoying at the same time.  But Michelangelo had insisted we sit through it.  
Raphael growled.  “Are ya even listenin’?  Good for nothing, human.  Not useful like turtle-genius over there.” He pointed to Donatello who looked… well exactly like Donatello.  Except for the horn-rimmed glasses.  What was that white bit between the lenses?  Had he taped them together?  
“And ya sure as shit ain’t a princess.”  Raphael half-bowed in a very I-just-entered-the-dojo sort of way, then mumbled a sad excuse for an apology.  “Sorry fer cursin’, yer Highness.”
Your highness?  
My eyes coasted over the wizard, the psychic, the genius, the warrior, and Leonardo’s outstretched hand- vaguely I wondered what role he played- then I lost a breath.
A white kimono, folded perfectly at the waist, covered in pink cherry blossoms beneath a slender neck, lead to the most beautiful oval face I’d ever seen.  My eyes filled. “M-mother?”  
“Don’t be ridiculous?  How hard ya hit yer head?”  Raph reached out to swat the back of my head and I lifted a hand to block him but found my reflexes too slow. What was wrong with me?  I wasn’t moving right.
Fortunately, Leonardo blocked Raphael’s attempt and offered me his hand again.  “As I was saying, we are all important.  Everyone serves a purpose.  Give me your hand, we’ll get you on your feet and still make our ship if we leave now.”
The entourage made their way, April first, then Donatello, Michelangelo, then Mother, Raphael, then Leonardo and I trailed behind.  What was my purpose?  I could sense I was no longer part mutant.  None of my serpent instincts present.  I had none of my kunoichi reflexes.  I glanced down at my waist.  I wasn’t even carrying guns, like Leo.  Though we were dressed the same.  
I glanced from side to side, to the square and rectangular buildings that resembled something out of a western movie.  I wouldn’t know that much about their appearance had Raphael not insisted we watch westerns to begin with.  Ugh.  Too much television.  
At the end of the dirt road was a river, a long white ship with masts spread as though there was wind in them, though no breeze blew. We were the only passengers, boarded together and spread about as we set sail on a windless sea.  
Leonardo was tying a rope to something I could not see. But he was there, fit and beautiful, younger than I knew we were.  He glanced at me beneath the brim of his hat, a semi-smile curving one corner of his mouth before he looked away.  I was set to approach him, to try to talk to him, but what would I say?  Why have you turned your back on your family?  On me?  I love you.  Come back with me.  Come home. But this wasn’t the Leonardo I was struggling with, nor was it the one I knew and loved, and yet he was at the same time.  My feet inched toward him like magnets propelled by a force I could not stop, yet I resisted because this made no sense and it was futile.
The ship landed and the crew formed their marching line again, down the ramp into another town.  This one had a corral right by the shore, with hay bales stacked near a post board fence, men trying to sell guns offering different models up for target practice.  Leonardo tipped his hat at me then bowed before the princess- my mother.  “Ma’am I have some business to attend to.  I will rejoin you later?”
She nodded graciously and he ventured toward the market.
As I followed the procession deeper into the city a strange sensation began to build.  My feet wanted to gravitate to Leonardo, yet my hands ached to connect the people ahead of me and bind them together somehow.  
This city was different, carved of white stone, sculptures of turtles where gargoyles might rest.  The statue of a rat- Splinter- my father, in the center of town square.  
“We have to find it.  It’s here somewhere.” Donatello pointed East, to a building with giant columns resembling a museum. “Should we spread out and search, Majesty? Perhaps the archives will hold a clue.”
Michelangelo pointed Splinter’s staff toward the South, the sea calm waters below.  But it was the stars glowing above in a daytime sky that he spoke of.  “We should follow the constellations.  They know the way.”
Raphael, even in a knight’s armor still wielded his sai, pointing one toward darkness in the North.  “We’ll find it beyond the battle.  They’ve taken it, I know they have.  But I can get it back.  Send me, your Highness, I can get it back.”
April let out a grunt as she squint her eyes and rubbed her brow.  “I’m sensing something there to our West.  It’s there.  I-I can-feel it.”
My mother was silent, never spoke a word as she looked to me.
Hell if I knew which way to go.  I didn’t even know what we were looking for.  I swallowed hard.  She was so beautiful, her lashes long and dark over gentle brown eyes.  I opened my mouth and a question popped out. “What is it you’re looking for?”
She didn’t answer, only smiled.
My heart was galloping.  Whatever she wanted I would help her find it.  She tipped her head toward April, who began leading us toward a white arbor, woven with bright red roses.  She stepped through but I didn’t see her come out the other side. Donatello went next, then Raphael, Michelangelo, then my Mother.  A great sense of dread enveloped me as I approached what should be a garden entry.  I realized the world had fallen silent. There was no echo over the town, not from the men target practicing, not from the people shopping, coming and going. I looked around.  All of the townsfolk stood still as if paralyzed.  Leonardo turned as I glanced toward the range, his eyes meeting mine.  He was far enough away that I shouldn’t have been able to hear him.  Yet I did.
“Go on.  You’re more powerful than you think.”
I don’t know why I believed him, maybe my brain didn’t, but my heart knew.  My blood burned, my heart pumping hard as I approached the arbor, peering into the blinding white beyond.  I stepped through, blindly, knowing I was only human and had no power, but believed the fool turtleboy who’d promised me otherwise.
I tumbled downhill, noticing everything was varied shades of white and hard, the path beneath me marble that sparkled like diamonds. I landed on my butt in the center of a white circle, scanning the four white columned buildings but not seeing my friends- my family.  But I heard them screaming.  
“Help! Help us!”
Above me they were rising into the sky their bodies spread eagle, like skydivers in reverse.  They clawed at the air as clouds swirled above them at their center a black hole opening, surely to swallow them up.  
Only my mother never opened her mouth, while the rest screamed.  
My feet dragged across the marble but while my torso stretched toward the sky, I refused the pull.  Simply denied it.  My palm lifted to the sky, great energy building inside me, searching for a way out as my feet bound to the ground.  Warm white light appeared to outline my palm, it stayed there as I willed my family to me, slowly curling my fingers in as they drew nearer with every breath.  
Come back.  I’ve got you.  Stay with me. Please.
My mother was first, she reached for April, who reached for Donnie, who reached for Mikey, who reached for Raph.  But it was Mother’s fingers, her silken hand that interwove with mine.  
I had them.
Then my feet began to drag, the marble peeling away like soil beneath my boots, leaving grooves.  No.  I searched, looking behind me for something to grab onto.
There he was.
Leonardo’s hand grasped mine and I was complete.  “I’ve got you.  Hold on, you’re more powerful than you know.”
My eyes were wet, my breath fleeting as I gasped.  “You keep saying that. H-how do you know?”
He smiled and I wished it were real.  Wished it true.  That he was there with me and I could touch him, feel the strength of him as he literally grounded me.  “Because, you are their anchor, and I am yours.”
Then he and everything around me, my mother, our family, were gone.
“Wake up, sleepyhead,” came a broken version of his voice.  One vacant of all that I loved in him.
There was something wet in my eyes as I opened them to the dim light of a torch.  A soft ember glow surrounding the vessel of our leader.  My love.  He was in there somewhere.  And if that dream led me to this nightmare it showed me one thing for certain along the way. The message was all backwards, all wrong.  Well partly. Because, I wasn’t our family’s anchor.
He was.  
Hopefully, I was his.
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