#pls don't challenge us to be even faster lol

[bearotonin-international]

thank you. I did not expect a reply, nor one so fast.

you are beary welcome friend

[blockedbykei]

𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐈𝐅 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐈 𝐍𝐄𝐄𝐃 𝐈𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔 ?

— synopsis: kageyama always had one agenda in his life: volleyball. it just so happens that you seemed to challenge him even more than the sport has ever done in his life.

— warnings: (this chapter) awkward kageyama, sucks at feelings. frenemies to lovers, a little angst bc kageyama's about to relapse lol pls don't attack me also i don't know how the academic system works in japan

— parts: i, ii, iii, iv

ii; love thorns all over this rose

kageyama is awake thirty minutes before his alarm rings.

and in those thirty minutes, he spends it like he usually does— planning.

and with a little bit of spice, reminiscing.

"they'll pay you," he said on the phone. he had sensed your relief despite your silence on the other side.

"thank god." you sighed. "okay dude, i gotta be honest with you. i'm only using this opportunity as some kind of job starter, 'kay? i won't be permanent. so don't get your hopes up."

"i won't be too hopeful on you." he deadpanned. a little too honest, to upfront, maybe brought up by buried pain. kageyama shook the thought. "when can you start?"

"anytime you want me to start, tobio-chan." you beamed. he heard ruffling in the background, and the familiar sound of keys jingling. "except today though. i have some paperwork to do. will tomorrow be okay?"

"okay."

that was yesterday, at 4:13pm. it was now 5:30 in the morning.

and it seems like you were awake too.

kageyama jumps at the sound of his phone vibrating against his wooden bedside table. he pushes the covers off his body, pushing himself up to sit against the bed frame before unplugging his phone off his cable.

you. u up? wanna jog around? 5:32am

he doesn't hesitate to reply.

kageyama. Sure. 5:32am

—

to his fortune, your apartment was near his home. so the idea of jogging around was easily fulfilled as his legs are now being warmed up outside the entrance of your building.

kageyama is a little eager to see you at this time in the morning, a rush of excitement adding a bounce on his heels. and he only waits for five minutes until he sees you exit the elevator in your sports attire.

jacket and leggings. same as his, except he wore sweatpants.

your hair is tied up messily, strands of hair above your head uncombed and bumpy. you walk towards him and give him a smile, stopping just a few friendly feet from him.

he thinks that image of you will stay plastered on his mind.

"ready to go, tobio?"

he looks at you, foot pressed on a bench. his fingers tie his laces as he stares at you.

kageyama was always a man of few words, and you'd learned how to read him through his eyes and body language alone. his stare may seem blank to others, but you read it as "yes, i'm ready."

and he says it either way. "yes"

—

"so what exactly is it that i'm supposed to do?"

you've matched his pace, or maybe he's slowed down to jog by your side, or maybe he's just slow and you're a bit faster than him. either way, you're happy to be in the same speed, enough so that you can talk to him without having a hard time.

kageyama hums. "uh. you will be like my life coach?"

"what the fuck is a life coach?" you grimace.

"i don't know either." his breath is white past his lips from the cold air, sparing you a quick glance. "i just think i'm too obsessed with volleyball that i kind of... don't have a life outside of it."

"i thought volleyball was your life."

"it is. until i became an adult." he swallows thickly. "when i'm not on the court, i'm in my classes. when i'm not in my classes and the court's not open i... i don't do anything. i think i'm a boring person."

"so you're like a loser?"

kageyama sighs dejectedly. "yeah."

"and you want me to make you more, what, interesting?"

"yeah."

"and i'm getting paid to do this?"

"yeah."

"i'm getting paid to teach you how to get a life," you guffaw, small pants leaving your mouth as you do so. "i never thought i'd be doing that after three years. holy shit, tobio-chan."

kageyama pouts. "do you find joy over the fact that i'm a loser?"

"oh yes," you shake your head, a smile on your face. "i do enjoy that."

you both stop after ten minutes, deciding to take a break by sitting on the bench. you place your feet on the space beside kageyama, bringing it to your chest, facing him. he tilts his head up and swallows the water rapidly as if he'd been parched since the dawn of time.

he wipes his sweat off his forehead, his biceps contracting, hair sticking to his skin. you blush at the sight.

"so what do you want to try doing?" you ask him, tugging on your sleeves.

kageyama shrugs. "how to not be too obsessed with volleyball."

"okay genius," you roll your eyes. "i meant do you want to learn how to ride a bike? how to paint? to swim?"

"i know how to ride a bike," then he pauses, looking down at the tips of your shoes grazing his thigh. he scratches his chin. "i wanna learn how to swim."

you scrunch your nose. "did you even attend the swimming classes back in high school?"

"no."

"god, tobio," you laugh through your nose. "where were you? hiding in the gym?"

"i was with you inside the janitor's closet remember?"

your smile fades a little, pulling your feet closer to yourself. and then you look away from him.

"so i'm teaching you how to swim then." kageyama wishes you'd look at him again, take your eyes off from whatever you're staring at and plant them on him instead. "i might push you into the deep part of the pool, then i remembered you're tall so you could just stand. unless i put a rock on you..."

"do i need to list it down?" he asks, and you look at him. your eyes seemed duller than earlier. he almost winces. "all the things you're going to teach me?"

"hm," you scoot closer. your arms rest on top of your knees, your chin resting on top of your left forearm. "first, you're gonna get a manicure with me. that'll be tomorrow because i want one."

"okay."

"then we're gonna do yoga," you beam. "so you could relax. you're always so tense."

kageyama pulls his phone app, and you assume he's opening the notes app. "okay."

"swimming. then skydiving. camping. joining those bike marathon thingies. oh! pottery. i think you'd like pottery."

"do we really have to do skydiving?" he shivers a little; partly from the cold, partly from the image of falling from the sky with the chance of dying. "i don't think that's a hobby that will help me with volleyball. i think that would just make me want to stay on the court."

you roll your eyes. "whatever. add cooking. unless you already know how to."

"just a little."

"add cooking."

his fingers type on the letters, the click-clacks emitting from his phone mingling with the soft breeze's gentle whisper. "anything else?"

"i kinda wanna keep the others a surprise." you smile, flashing him a bit of your teeth between your lips. the wisps of your hair fall on your cheeks, and your eyes almost smile at him. "done taking a break? i wanna run again."

kageyama stands up, putting his phone on his pocket. you kick your feet off the bench and place them on the ground, stretching your arms.

you start before he does. he feels a thread of nervousness coursing through his veins, tying it around each tendril. there's doubt knocking on his head telling him that at some point of this "life-coaching" of yours would eventually fuck up whatever it is that you have now.

he wouldn't want to fuck up twice.

his feet jogs himself up at your pace, his heart twinging at the smile you give him.

—

september 2014

senior year meant mandatory swim classes. which meant that kageyama would skip class for the 63rd time since his freshman year.

the table was jovial with excitement, albeit it seems that tsukishima was voicing the similar disdain towards swimming. "getting dressed in front of you guys is enough." he reasoned.

hinata and yamaguchi beam in excitement, mostly because they both knew they would be given free time to play around the pool. and since the boys and girls were separated, you and yachi made a silent vow to stick with one another.

"tobio," you placed your hand on his shoulder. he jumped out of his daze, food in mouth, his head turning to look at you, and you debate on telling him to stop looking at you like that, because while a second ago he seemed horrified, now he looked at you like you'd given him a miracle to be saved. "you alright?"

"yes." his head nodded, putting another broccoli in his occupied mouth. "i don't want to go swimming."

"me neither," you giggled. your hand was still on his shoulder, burning onto his uniform and seeping through his skin. kageyama fought hard not to blush. "i promised yachi though, so. please don't skip."

"okay." okay, i'll still skip.

"kageyama," hinata bumped his shoulder. "let's race to see who swims fastest."

"i don't want to, dumbass," kageyama snarled. "i want to eat lunch. let's see who gets to finish first."

their petulance had always interested you. their relationship would always trick people into thinking they despised one another, but no one ever really saw their true bond and how close they were. you laughed at the way they would swallow their food directly and at the way yachi had begin to voice her concern on choking and something about the heimlich maneuver.

in front of you, yamaguchi and tsukishima's slowly blooming ("platonic" they said, defending) relationship seemed to quietly berate the two.

later that day, you'd lost yachi with your other classmates right after you ascend from the pool. you quickly got yourself dressed, hair dripping wet and leaving streaks of water down the back of your blouse, and searched for her.

you found yourself inside the gym five minutes later, seeing that the doors were unlocked. but when you peeked, the sight of her bright blonde hair was nowhere to be seen.

a muffled cluttering sound startled you.

"hello?"

your voice echoed in the empty gym.

"(y/n)?"

kageyama's nervousness rang at every corner of the gymnasium. you saw him peek his head out from the closet, eyes wide. you furrowed your eyebrows.

"what the fuck are you doing there?" you asked hastily, walking towards him. "you're supposed to be at the pool—"

he yanked you towards him, inside the closet and closing the door behind him. it hadn't registered to you that kageyama began hearing footsteps approaching the gym and it put his heart at an alarming rate. your mouth snapped shut, hiding behind his body, your hair leaving droplets on his uniform.

then there's muffled conversation, a few laughs, a tone that mimicked questioning, and then you heard the doors slam shut. you froze.

"how are we going to get out?" you panicked, voice small and a whisper, even though you're certain that a normal volume would've sufficed.

"calm down," he scowled. "i have the keys with me. how'd you think i got in here in the first place?"

he pulled the keys out and twirled them in his finger. relief defeats the panic that settled on your face, though a smile never rose out of you. but it was enough for kageyama to reassure you. he walked to you, resting his back against one of the shelves beside you, keeping a distance that could've looked like he wasn't giving you any sort of distance at all.

"what are you doing here?" he asked, arms crossed. you took the keys off his hands, clutching it in your fist, and couldn't help yourself but sneer at him.

"you said you'd go to the class."

"i only said okay, doesn't mean i'm agreeing."

you gawped. "that is agreeing!"

"you didn't answer my question." he instilled. "what are you doing here?"

you scratched the back of your neck, fingertips dampened from your slowly drying hair, chlorine and faint conditioner evident through the scent. "i lost yachi. i thought she could be here 'cause the doors were open."

he showed his acknowledgement through a hum, no words leaving him. you sighed and approached the door, twisting the doorknob and peaked through the small slit you created.

"i should probably go," you said, looking back at him. "we should probably go."

you give him a stern look, vexated at his lie. kageyama pushed himself off the shelf, walking towards you, and you thought that maybe he'd decided to follow your orders, but instead his arm reaches out to pull the door close.

the brightness from the outside is only evident through the cracks beneath and between the doors, the only light in the dark room. kageyama stood in front of you, both of you leaning your bodies against the metal door.

your heart beated a little faster, the sound reverberating in your ears. you hope he doesn't hear how fast it gets with the way he slowly leaned closer to you, his head tilted just the slighesg, hair falling just above his eyebrows.

his eyes are dark, but there's a little shine at the edge of his irises, his gaze soft. his lips are parted the slightest, tongue coming out to gloss the dried skin. you swallow thickly.

it felt too oddly intimate to be in a situation like this with a friend you've known since the beginning of junior high. and you wondered if it was inappropriate of you to blush wildly; if it was disrespectful of you to want to tiptoe the edge of your friendship just because you're in a closet with him hiding as if you'd both be shot dead and you're enjoying the last, quiet moments together.

you knew you've never seen him as more than a friend. at least, that was what you've manipulated yourself to think. you convinced your excitement to see him as a way to be excited to start your day. you tell yourself you're concerned for his safety because you worry his sister would eat you up if he'd gotten hurt without you rather than because you wouldn't want him to get hurt in general.

you forced him to take breaks from volleyball because you poke fun at his lack of social life, not because you worry he may drive himself away from you from his over enthusiasm and passion.

you do not feel lovesick over kageyama.

and he thought that the look on your face— surprised, blushing, wide eyed— was the most endearing sight out of all endearing sights. the corner of his lip tugs upward, his teeth beginning to poke out of his awkward smile.

"we don't have classes right after," he reasoned. "we could stay here for a few more minutes."

"you-" you point your finger to his chest, nail digging on his shirt and onto his thick skin. "-have practice. i have a student council meeting and volleyball training at the local court, thanks to your fucking greedy asses, by the way. both of which will start in like-... uh...-"

"seven minutes." he cocked a brow. "let's stay here until then."

so you did.

you sat on the floor and ate the snacks he had on his bag, cross legged, on opposite sides. you started the conversation by asking when the nationals were, and that if it fit right into your schedule, you could bring the student council to up the level of the cheerleading team for karasuno. kageyama beamed at your offer.

your phone lit up, a notification bar on the screen, and he knew what your wallpaper was– it was the six of you, on one of the carnivals last june, on the ferris wheel that showed hinata yelling out the edge, tsukishima gripping on the sides for his dear life, yachi and yamaguchi laughing at the chaos they ensued;

you, holding the phone up, with kageyama beside you, smiling with his eyes set on your laughing figure.

he saw the way your eyes lingered on the screen for a moment before you tapped on the text, screen brightening, your fingers tapping on the keyboard.

"who's that?" he asked, curiosity undecided if he should be jealous (and deny it) or be relieved.

"kuroo-san," you said. "he's inviting you guys to play at nekoma next week. says he and the old team are visiting to check out the new team, and he thought it would be great if you guys fought with them again...? what...?"

"why is he texting you, though?" he shoves a hello panda in his mouth. "shouldn't he text yachi? or literally anyone else."

"i don't think he has her number."

"why does he have your number?"

"because hinata gave it to him."

he swore to murder him after 7 minutes.

"i'll tell them," he said, forced to give you a smile; forced to hide the distaste on his tongue at the thought of kuroo sending you a text. "you gonna come?"

"maybe, i could play, too, bring my team so we could finally play at a court where we wouldn't have to share with kids." you scowl at him. "can you impress me for a hundredth time?"

he'd take that chance at any given moment.

—

kageyama finds himself on the court again after your jog. the cold air still fresh on his damp skin, the sound of your voice still evident even if you'd already left almost an hour ago to meet up with your team one last time.

"so, how'd it go?"

hinata plays with the ball on the other side of the court, bouncing it between the floor and his palm. kageyama shrugs, placing his towel on top of his gym bag.

"she said we'll start tomorrow," he answers, walking towards the net, fingers poking through the square slots. "i'm nervous about this."

"i think it's a big mistake." hinata blurts out, his hand immediately covering his mouth. his wide eyes do nothing but start the fuse in kageyama's temper.

"what do you mean it's a big mistake?" he ducks between the net, towering over his shaking friend, who walks backwards and shoots him an ever nervous grin.

"i'm just saying– i mean well, we've talked here and then, and she hasn't exactly– dude, you're scaring me–"

kageyama stops in his tracks, sighing heavily with a hand on his forehead. "exactly what, hinata?"

his friend shakes his arms, snapping them. his right hand comes up to his left and rotates it, looking at kageyama like he hadn't scared him beforehand. "she hasn't exactly forgotten about what you did, you know. i mean its nice of you to take the chance and make up for what you did, but if you ever fuck up again, i don't think she'll be as forgiving as last time."

"i won't fuck up." he scowls, going back to his side.

"and if she finds out you only did this to keep her from getting that job with kuroo-san?"

kageyama places his hands on his hips, looking up yo the ceiling. it was high; the lights a bit blinding, the basketball hoop folded upwards to keep out of the way from high serves. his eyes close and counts to three, until he feels his nerves calm down, before looking back at hinata.

"has he mentioned it to her?"

"i don't think he has." hinata says. "i don't think he's forgotten, either."

"okay."

"kageyama," he begins, looking at him warningly. "if she finds out you're only doing this so that you won't lose her– so that she'd be here with you, she's not going to like it."

"i know that."

"then stop whatever it is that you're doing!"

"whatever, man! i'm doing her a favor," he spins the ball in his palm, squishing it with the other. kageyama glares at his orange hair, not at his eyes– because he doesn't want to actually make him feel that he was mad at him. "she said she quit because she didn't want to be associated with volleyball anymore. kuroo's offer is associated with volleyba-"

"an offer is an offer, kageyama, it's her decision to decline it or not," hinata sighs. "don't confuse her. don't make her fall again. don't make things even more complicated than it already is."

kageyama feels the gasoline inside him about to burst, his eyebrows furrowing further, scowl deepening. he throws the ball into the air, and jumps at the right time to serve. hinata, thrown off guard, ducks and covers his head with his hands as the ball hits the wall behind him.

hinata looks back at him with wide eyed anger. "you- you jerk!"

he runs to him, diving beneath the net to tackle his legs. kageyama falls to his back, his yell echoing, wrapping his legs around hinata's neck.

his anger, albeit predictable, is rooted on something he can't identify. he knows he's mad at hinata, but he also knows it's not exactly the actual cause. there's a deep set of guilt planted in him that coalesces with the anger he decides to displace on others. maybe it's because he knows that hinata's right— that the offer kuroo was supposed to propose was yours to accept or decline; it wasn't his position to keep you from doing so.

but at the same time, he knows that if he hadn't done anything— even if he could— to keep you here, with him, while he's slowly easing the pain he'd caused you, he would die with the regret he'd feel. and even so, he would do anything to get you back.

so at the feeling of his head meeting the floor, kageyama is snapped into a dilemma of morals and deluded wants. hinata pins him to the ground, knees on either side of his hips, looking disappointedly down on his heaving friend.

"we haven't fought this hard since freshman year," he laughs tiredly. "she's my friend, kageyama. and you're my friend either. i don't want you both to be hurt to the point where it affects all of us. i was honestly surprised that she was able to act normally after the shit you pulled. she was that afraid to lose you."

hinata pushes himself off him, offering his hand to kageyama. he takes it, pulling him off the ground. "please don't tell her."

kageyama could see him contemplate. he knows how easy hinata is to control under pressure, most especially if it included his guilty conscience in honor of a friend— he can't bring himself to lie. he was never a liar at the expense of someone.

but if it was something he had to do for the people that he cared for...

"okay," he says in his pleading gaze. "i can keep quiet. but i don't know when kuroo will bring this up to her. she'll find out eventually."

"i'll tell her myself."

—

after spending five hours in relishing the exhilarating thrill of spiking a ball across the court, his free training is cut "short" when his phone begins to ring.

doused in sweat, he walks to the bench where his bag resides. hinata plops down to the ground, elbows on his knees, panting. kageyama picks up his phone and sees your icon—

in a small circle, with a smile, in the karasuno uniform with your hair in a ponytail. he does not remember the day the picture was taken nor what the event was, but he swears he's had the same icon of yours since high school, even after he'd switched the phone.

he clicks the green telephone button.

"hello?"

"are you at the court?" there's a busy crowd behind you. you sound uncomfortable.

"no."

"don't lie."

"yes."

you laugh, he blushes. "okay. can i come there if it's okay? we've got matters to discuss."

he says yes and you're there 20 minutes later. you discard the thick coat off your shoulders, revealing something that looked too comfortable to be considered as casual— literally a large shirt and sweatpants.

"ey, (y/n)!" hinata comes up to give you a one-armed hug, trying not to get you wet with his sweat. you smile at him, sitting down on the bench beside kageyama's bag.

"hey, sho-chan." you beam. "mind if i'm here for a short while?"

"i don't mind if you stayed here until midnight." he laughs, sitting down crossed legged in front of you on the floor. kageyama sits on the same bench, his bag dividing the two of you.

"so what's up?" he wipes his face with a towel. do players actually sweat this much?

"so i got a call from your management," you begin, taking your phone out and opening your notes app. "i took in minutes of the meeting as a habit. anyway, so your pr manager told me that we can't exactly be seen together all the time unless we want people to think that we're dating. yuck."

the emphasis on your yuck makes him laugh out the pain.

"anyway, so she said we can't do whatever it is that you want all the time. we either have to do it with your friends, the two of us on a very private area, or just you alone." you explain. "so i decided to, like, create a list of all the things we should do. and i also need you to sign this contract because i'm not doing this forever."

a soft copied contract he assumes is sent by his management is displayed on your phone as you hand it to him. you zoom in on his name, types in capital letters beneath a line where his digital signature is to be placed. with a shaky finger, he writes his signature.

you stutter. "you- you didn't even read it."

"i don't want to."

"you have to," you roll your eyes. "okay so, your management says that i have to do this life-coaching shit of yours only until your next big match."

"which is in a few months." hinata butts in, a granola bar in hand.

a few months. he has a few months with you.

a few months of making up for the damage he caused. a few months to change the way you act around him. a few months to keep you with him. kageyama doesn't know what happens after then— maybe you'd already found out the offer kuroo ought to give you, and maybe you'd take it with no hesitation, leaving him behind.

the stress of lying catches up with the way his stomach twists and his tongue loses its taste. the hollow feeling of nervousness emits from the way his palms begin to sweat. he feels pressured to plan already— to figure out what to do right after the contract ends; what to say when you found out he interfered with a major opportunity.

"yeah. so. i also can't interfere nor be the cause of your downfall in volleyball or they will sue me." you bite your bottom lip. "is that even possible? like, defamation?"

"what's defamation?" kageyama asks, fingertips fiddling with the cap of his waterbottle. you huff.

"it's by ruining one's reputation by creating false statements. i'd do that if you piss me off," you jest, going back to your phone and scrolling. kageyama thinks of it as a real threat. "anyway, so i will have to ask your teammates or friends to come join us for the following weeks, although i do prefer if you also do it."

he frowns. "why me?"

"because you hired me and it's also your job to be less of a pain in the ass," you poke the space between his eyebrows. he groans, grasping your wrist and pull it down from his face.

hinata's eyes narrow at the sight of two tinted cheeks.

you break free from him. "i'll be sending you the list tomorrow. i'll get going now."

kageyama stops you from slinging your bag over your shoulder, a hand on one of the straps. "how'd you get here?"

you make a confused face. "uh. by bus?"

"let me drive you home."

"i'm fine, tobio," you laugh lightly, standing up, adjusting the strap on your shoulder. "it's only one bus ride. plus, i don't think hinata's done with practicing yet—"

"we're done!" hinata claps his shoulder, squeezing it, tight enough to make him uncomfortable. kageyama glares at him through his peripherals. "it's fine. i'll close up."

it's gotten to the point where hinata had pushed the both of you off outside the court and into the parking lot.

kageyama almost feels desolated— the silence caused by confusion almost deemed you a ghost, thus making him feel like he was lost in a very crowded parking lot. but when you nudge his shoulder, and the look on your face was replaced with a small smile, he takes his keys out of the pocket of his gym bag, his car beeping not too far.

you sit on the passenger side, quickly buckling your seat belt and dropping your bag on your lap. kageyama shuts the door and sticks the key in the ignition, a random song on the radio playing as it lights up blue.

no one says a word during the drive.

you can sense the tension was brought by thoughts that are wanted to be shared but never spoken. something about the past— the past you'd tried to forgotten; the past kageyama was trying to mend. it was not because of the sudden professional relationship created by the both of you.

(it actually also was that.)

the ride was short— maybe five songs had passed and three ad breaks. he parks just at the side, where he wouldn't be told off, and you unbuckled your seatbelt.

"thanks for the ride," you say, finally. he sucks in a breath of relief.

"no problem." and just when you're about to reach out and leave, he puts his hand on your wrist again. you stop on your movements, looking back at him over your shoulder.

"is something the matter?"

"why'd you take it?" kageyama asks, his hand still on your wrist. you blink at him, sitting back down and resting your back on the car seat. but his hand now hovers over your burning skin.

your eyebrows furrow. "what do you mean?"

"why'd you take the job if it sounded stupid?"

you look into his eyes. kageyama looked unsure— almost in disbelief. he seems to be doubting you at this moment which almost brings a scoff out of you. his bottom lip is quickly bitten, a habit of anxiousness.

"i told you– it's a starter job. it's not easy to get a job while i'm still in college. i kinda need the money as soon as possible too, y'know? i'm not exactly a pro athlete so i don't get paid—"

"why are you helping me?" he urges. kageyama leans over the transmission, a hand on the wheel. his elbow is placed on the shoulder of your seat, and he's unbelievably close to you that you feel his hot breath. "you could've taken a job at a cafe. tsukishima could've helped you with it. or yachi-san. so why did you accept my last minute offer?"

it was like he was searching for a reason for your sudden acceptance at an incredulous offer for a job that he made up. he wanted to know the reason behind it— maybe something that could get his hopes up on fixing a relationship that's barely even there; something that could feed on his nightly routine of delusions about you and what could have been.

your eyes flicker between his. kageyama has always had intense eyes. too intense that you can't decipher what he's actually feeling sometimes. but even so, they're the only ones you're forcing yourself to look at— because he's so close. there's barely any friendly proximity between the two of you. you're afraid of glancing down his lips to avoid any miscommunication; you don't look at anywhere else because you don't want to seem shy.

your heart starts to beat faster. you curse it.

"because you're my friend," you murmur. "and i'm actually concerned about your obsession with volleyball."

kageyama leans back just the slightest, but you can still feel his heat.

"i've always wanted to help you lessen your obsession since high school, y'know? at least this time i'm– i'm getting paid."

"you still want to help me even after—"

"i don't want to talk about it, kageyama."

it seems as if you knew what he was going to say. the sudden use of his surname, the softness that immediately hardened at the memory flashing in your mind; the guard you instantly put up. kageyama's heart twinges, leaning back on his seat.

he expects you to leave him and slam the door, watching you walk towards your building.

instead, he feels your hand on his.

your hand on his.

his head snaps to you, twitching slightly. your fingers squeeze the back of his hand a little, offering him a sad smile.

"i care for you," you say. "i hope you don't abuse it again."

kageyama feels like he's been holding his breath for years.

you exit his car and close it properly, crossing the front and enter your building. he watches you disappear behind the doors of your elevator, and he thinks you may have been looking at him as well.

the feeling you leave on his hand remains. he puts it on his chest, placing his other hand on top of it, and feels the way his heart skips multiple beats that he considers rushing to the hospital.

nervous. guilt. an unfamiliar sensation on his belly that rises up to his chest filled with heat.

he does not want to fuck this up.

reblogs and feedback are appreciated <3

[morelikeravenbore]

🦋 Thanks to the cuties who have tagged me in this, I've loved reading everyone's answers!

How many works do you have on AO3? Uhh *checks* — nine. One long fic and a bunch of oneshots.

What's your total AO3 word count? 88k~ but about 76k~ belong to Villain (so far).

What fandoms do you write for? Hogwarts Legacy is the only fandom I write for, and Sebastian is really the only character I care to write about (HAHA sorry everyone else.)

Top five fics by kudos? I don't really pay attention to stats so:

1. How to Make a Villain

And then whatever the next top four are 🙃

Do you respond to comments? I TRY VERY HARD TO but sometimes it takes me a while (spoons/adhd-brain/burn-out etc). Like any writer, comments give me LIFE, but something I wasn't expecting to struggle with is the feeling that I don't really deserve them. Who knew writing fic would be a lesson in accepting kindness lol

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Welp the only fics I've finished so far are my oneshots, and they all end with orgasms or romance so... 

What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Here Comes The Sun: a cute little Sebaura proposal oneshot hehe 💍🌞

Do you get hate on fics? Not openly, lol. I do love it when people get mad about what my characters do though so pls don't hold back from yelling at them if the urge ever strikes you. 🍿🍿🍿

Do you write smut? I dabble every now and then, but to be honest it's not my favourite thing to write. Before writing for HL, I'd never written a sex scene in my life and I wanted to give it a go to challenge myself. Lately though, I haven't really had any smutty motivation. I'm definitely a romantic at heart and I LOVE writing about the playful side of romance: young love, cute banter, silliness, teasing, etc. Also bickering. Nom nom nom gimme all da arguments.

Craziest crossover? You and me bb :lip_bite:

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Nope! Does this really happen? Like, someone copies and pastes a whole-ass fic and calls it their own? 🧿🧿🧿

Have you ever had a fic translated? I've had requests to translate Villain into Russian, Polish and French, but I'd like to complete the story first.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Does contributing crack fic ideas counts? Because 👀 yeah all the time lol 

All time favorite ship? Uhhh Sebastian and Aurélie HAHA. Otherwise, it's Allie and Noah foreverrrrr. (The movie version though, I've never actually read the book.)

💙 Honourable mentions go to Anne and Gilbert, and Emma and Mr Knightly. Dishonourable mention to Harry and Ginny, eurgh. 

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I only have enough spoons to write one long fic at a time, and I fully intend to finish Villain even if it kills me.

What are your writing strengths? Personally, I think my writers voice sounds distinctly me, which I'm very proud of.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language? OOH this is a great question since Aurélie is fluent in French and I don't speak a bloody word. Generally speaking, I prefer to write it like: 'I can't speak a word of French,' she said in French. 

Sometimes I'll use French if the meaning is clear to someone who doesn't speak the language, or if I can give strong enough context clues, ie:

'How nice,' Aurélie said eventually, her accent thick with French indignation. 'I can see you're both very passionnés about Quidditch.'

Sebastian froze, sensing danger.

'Uh — Passionate?'

'Oui. I did not realise you had to undress yourself to discuss tactique.' 

Or if the POV character can accurately guess the meaning, like this:

'You don't have giant spiders in France then, I take it?'

'Non pas du tout!'

He didn't need to know French to translate that as a vehement no. 

But I try to avoid using the actual written language as much as possible because nothing kills immersion faster than trying to read dialogue you can't understand.

Also I frequently annoy my French friends for translations because uhh if I used Google Translate they'd probably guillotine me hehe.

First fandom you wrote in? This one.

Favorite fic you've written? How to Make a Villain is absolutely my greatest writing achievement ever hahaha. But aside from that, I'm really proud of Noctilucent because my goal was to write something suggestive without making it smutty and I was quite pleased with the outcome.

🦋 np tags for my writer babes and anyone else who wants to join in: @galaxiasgreen @lyworth @sloanesallow @sunsetplums @gingerlegacy07

[stay-outta-my-blood-circle]

heyy,what about a 14 with thomas hewitt pls 😊

Kinktober, day 7 🔞

14. Size difference

Is this coherent? I don’t know! I’m ready for bed lol

He's everywhere. Flooding every sense, until your world has narrowed to him alone - the feel of his chest and stomach along every inch of your back and more, casting you in shadow, keeping you pinned between him and the floor; his thick arms on either side of you, penning you in, holding himself up; the heat of him, and the scent, heady and suffocating -

and that's to say nothing of the stretch, the overwhelming fullness of him that challenges your mettle whenever you accept it. Every time, despite all previous evidence to the contrary, you think he won't possibly fit.

He starts moving in slow undulations, causing a needy, tremulous sound to fall from your lips immediately. You lower your forehead to rest on the floor between your forearms, propping yourself up on your elbows and knees under his crushing presence, your body a slave to whatever rhythm he decides to adopt.

You've never felt so completely encompassed.

He begins to increase the intensity of his movement without increasing the speed; deep, slow thrusts that have you swaying helplessly back and forth with him. You arch your spine to keep your contact with him as complete as possible, making sure his body meets yours at the most satisfying angle you can create.

He doesn't speed up until your moans start to morph into whines and you're practically writhing under him - you nearly come unglued with the first hard snap of his hips.

Your hands scrabble fruitlessly against the wood flooring, searching for purchase as your body is rocked uncontrollably by the rough movement of the enormous man above you. You're panting, desperate sounds clinging to every exhale. You don't try to hold anything back; you know Thomas likes to hear how much you enjoy his attentions. You're not sure you could even stifle your cries if you wanted to - not when he takes you like this.

You can feel the rumbling of grunts and growls in his chest. You're not the only one who's close, and the thought makes your heart beat that much faster.

He lifts one hand from the floor, using it to grab your hip, fingers biting into your skin. His grip could bruise so easily when he wasn't careful (you didn't mind when he wasn't careful). He uses the hand on your hip to move you against him exactly how he wants, and you let him, going boneless and pliant. All tension in your muscles drains away, neglecting to spare any strength to hold you up, and yet he does it for you with such little effort.

You come explosively, and he follows after another few thrusts.

You decide to let him catch his breath before asking for an encore.

[yourpreciouslilbub]

park woo jin ft lee dae hwi pt. 1 (random imagines)

member: park woo jin ft. lee dae hwi

genre: fluff, au

warnings: wrong grammar, cringiness (read at ur own risk)

summary: daydreaming about changing lives by imagining having swapping bodies with a celebrity

• y/n is so done with her life.

• online classes just make her behavior worst and tired than having face to face.

• tends to isolate herself from her main accounts not minding chats and notifications.

• it's not that you don't care or mind about other people, you just don't feel communicating lmao

• prefer spending time by spazzing, watching k-dramas, or playing.

• on a night with a full moon, hearing those unstoppable sounds of dogs in your neighborhood.

• y/n suddenly thinks of having a different kind of life she has.

• kinda corny but wishes to experience those (be careful what you wish for)

• being weird and an overthinker she just let it pass, finally decides to sleep.

• next morning came, y/n wakes up with a bright vivid light that comes from the window.

• slowly progressing what happened on the verge of 'your mind is still asleep'

• a loud 'bugsh' was heard when you fall from your bed

• white long curtains, teddy bears and other cute stuff, a mini piano with lots of music sheets scattered on it,

• colorful post-it that you also read, "you can do it" "well done." "fans are waiting for you" "love myself too" "music is hard but it's all worth it".

• and a sweet smell of vaporized candles lingers around the room.

• y/n is amused yet nervous especially when he heard the door opens.

• "daehwi-yah we will eat now, what are you doing there on the floor? still asleep?"

• woong said, questioning y/n then laugh before closing the door.

• ofc you know him. it's woong the main vocalist and fake maknae of the k-pop group that you've been stanning since their debut ab6ix.

• confused still half-awake y/n decided to check her face by looking at the mirror (more like a routine or habit daehwi does lol every morning)

• "oh my god" y/n said in Korean that made her more shocked.

• purple pajamas with messy hair but still looking handsome on it is the image that you saw in front of the mirror.

• "how did this happen?" eyes are both wide open checking if this is freaking real.

• still not syncing into reality you decided to pounder thoughts

• when you heard the other members yell daehwi's name

• so your feet take you to the familiar and at the same time unfamiliar kitchen of ab6ix.

• "why are you so weird today, daehwi-yah?" woojin asked sending his signature sparrow gaze into you.

• you suddenly feel the urge to curse bcs first you are star-struck, second, it's bared face ab6ix your idols, third park woo jin is freaking asking you why daehwi is weird, lastly, daehwi is your bias and you are in his body?

• can't process the whole information, so you just shrugged at woojin's question then sit on the empty chair beside donghyun.

• everyone is busy chit-chatting while you just eat your food silently.

• the next hours went by smoothly except those kakao messages that came from other celebrities that you know too (daehwi being a social butterfly)

• and when your manager calls you for dance and vocal practice today along with the other members

• ofc you are nervous you don't sing and dance, and daehwi's prob professional especially when writing songs how are you supposed to do that?

• with cold hands you and the other members enter the practice room.

• woojin leads it and play a warm-up song first.

• y/n is very nervous but amused at how daehwi's body moves along the beat.

• you enjoyed vocal lessons too as you kept making vibrations on the songs.

• little you did know that woojin is observing you since this morning (y'all know that park woojin is the member whose daehwi are most close with so)

• you let out a big sigh when the classes are finally over but immediately taken aback when manly arms wrapped around your shoulders.

• "we should talk," woojin murmured then drag you until you two reach his room.

• woojin's room is a combination of black and white a typical minimalist person would love this adding his collection of action figurines.

• he's so manly, you thought to yourself.

• "daehwi-yah, spill it," he said breaking the silence between the two of you.

• "i-uh is there something that i s-should spill?" you want to slap yourself for stammering in front of him.

• while he gave you his 'oh pls btch stop acting like you don't know anything at all'

• when he realized that you don't have any plans to answer his question

• "YAHHHH PARK WOO JIN"

• "see? daehwi is not like that," he said while crossing his arms in front of you.

• did park woo jin literally brought his face closer to the point that you two could kiss and thinking of it happened a few moments ago made your face red like a tomato.

• "daehwi's not minding it but you— who are you?"

• y/n's heart suddenly beats faster than normal, she wants to defend herself but no words would escape from her lips.

• "sweetie, don't be afraid it's just me park woo jin" he said smiling showing his snaggletooth.

• intimidated. that's what you're feeling right now. seeing him this close makes your heartbeat wild adding that he's interrogating you.

• you didn't have a choice it's now or never so you told woojin everything.

• at first he didn't believe it but when he challenged you to make simple sentences for lyrics he started to believe you.

• months past like that, woojin is there guiding you every time he sees that you prob gonna ruin smth

• y/n and woojin always spend time a lot together after rehearsals, practices, classes, gym, or even if you don't have anything scheduled for the day.

• you know him for being clingy with daehwi as you always watch their behind clips but damn having skinship with woojin really hits different

• it made your heart flutter every time he does it (but u only keep it to yourself)

• he kisses you sometimes on your cheek when you two are alone

• that's how park woo jin and y/n became close.

• today y/n is super hype bcs she saw the first snow

• woojin messaged you on kakao stating that he has a surprise so you two agreed to meet

• knowing him, maybe it's another prank or somehow something nice happen for him to celebrate it

• so you decided to wear daehwi's purple balenciaga sweater partnered with burberry coat and ofc his favorite dior bag that you can't forget to bring with

• you really like to dress up that's why you don't find it hard to style daehwi bcs daehwi already have a lot of designer clothes that made it easier for you

• before heading out, you sprayed daehwi's saint laurent perfume enjoying your personal favorite scent among his collection

• "y/n, you're late" woojin called as he waves at you.

• "i am not, you're just early" you rolled your eyes at him realizing that he wears his balenciaga pack again.

• others would find it weird but you call it 'pack' bcs his overall fashion is all balenciaga and it makes you roll your eyes more at him bcs you already know that he's freaking rich

• does he want to slap on my face that he could buy this entire house just for me to say that he's freaking rich? you thought.

• woojin pulled your wrist making you sit beside him

• it's not that you feel awkward with him, what's with the pulling and the intense gaze that he gives you right now

• y/n can't look straight at woojin bcs of her wildly beating heart.

• woojin held your chin so that you could have an eye to eye contact and when you two have—

• "woojin i—"

• "y/n i—"

• you both said at the same time.

• when you broke eye contact and decided to stand up woojin stop you but this time he held your hand.

• he stands up filling the gap between the two of you

• y/n stand there froze don't know what to do

• again woojin approach you, slowly, pulling you closer to him (tho there's not that much diff abt hwi and woojin's height)

• "i like you, y/n" he said while seriously looking into your eyes

• and like instructions that you follow to do, next thing you knew you found yourself closing your eyes waiting for his lips to touch with yours

• but you suddenly feel dizzy,

• then started to feel hot, mixed emotions.

• "y/n?" "y/n?"

• you open your eyes finding yourself in front of your monitor having online classes

• "y/n, show us your talent now"

• you don't know what to feel, felt crying bcs finally you are now back with your original body, happy bcs woojin confessed to you a while ago, sad bcs you can't see and bond with them now, and there's a big question mark on why and how you returned in the time of your online classes.

[code-error-606]

RFA+V+SAERAN REACT TO AN MC WHO PRACTICE SKATEBOARDING

ZEN

• You two were having a conversation about sports • He liked soccer, boxing and swimming • And you… liked skateboarding • He didn't know a lot about skateboarding • But he knows that it's a dangerous activity • "What the f… MC, that's dangerous for you" • But he was damn interested about seeing you doing it • He didn't say it out loud tho • You convince him to go to a place where you used to practice • You did your best moves to impress him • And hell he was impressed • Your moves were fast and meticulous • He was afraid that you hurt yourself • But you assure him that you were fine • You were a professional after all

YOOSUNG

• You two were having a walk • When you suddenly saw a boy learning how to do skateboarding • “Hey little guy, I suggest you to stand like this, this way it's gonna be faster” • The little guy was amazed about how much you knew about skateboarding • Yoosung was too tbh • “Do you know how to do it, miss?” • “Well… yeah” • “Please show me, Miss!” • The little boy was so excited, you couldn't say no • So you did some easy tricks for him • “Woah MC, that was so amazing!” • Yoosung was clapping at you and looking like if he just saw a perfect LOLOL match • He asked you to do some more tricks • So you ended up teaching to the little boy and Yoosung how to do skateboarding

JAEHEE

• She knew you practiced skateboarding • But she never saw you doing it • So when you invited her to come to a really important competition of skateboarding • She was a little nervous just by thinking of how dangerous the sport was • But she practiced Judo, so that's kind of the same • She showed up with a first aid kit just in case • When the competition started, she was amazed • It was so fast and amazing • The way your moves were so precise and surprising • She wasn't surprised when you won the competition • “Skateboarding it's different of what I thought” • “Did you like it?” • “Well… yeah”

JUMIN

• When you move to his place, he saw you carrying a skateboard • He just thought it was something you like to collection • But when he noticed the scratches in the board, he just had to ask why did you keep a skateboard on such a state? • “Oh… because I use it a lot” • He was confused and intrigued • So when you admitted that you practiced skateboarding • He told Assistant Kang to do a research about it • He concluded it was a dangerous activity to do, so why would you do it? • He didn't get it until you showed him how good you were • And he had to admit it was really impressive the way you did all those hard moves • Like an action movie • “What do you think?” you asked when you finished • “I still think is a dangerous sport… but you like it, and I love you”

SAEYOUNG/707/LUCIEL

• He already knew lol • When he did a background check on you, he found out you had won a lot of trophies on skateboarding competitions • But he didn't saw you doing it • Until he managed to convince you • “I can put some propellers on your skateboard! Imagine how fast will you go” • “Hahaha…... Pls don't” • When you showed him all your moves, he was so inspired that he decided to try • You teach him the basics and • Damn he was good? • So he started collecting skateboards • “They're my little babies, and my cars are my babies” • You created a monster • “And you're my precious unique baby” • But he was cute

SAERAN/UNKNOWN/RAY

• You told him you practiced skateboarding on your first date • He didn't knew exactly what that was, but sounded fun, so why not? • So the next date, was practicing skateboarding together • He didn't know what it was, but if it was with you there was nothing that could go wrong • But damn • A lot of things could go wrong • When you showed him the basics tricks of skateboarding, he was really shocked and scared • “Uhm… I can't do that MC, is dangerous” • Such a shy and cute baby • “I won't let you fall, so can you try for me?” you asked him with a warm smile • So he tried • He kind of made it • Although he only liked to go fast and not doing any trick • He also liked to watch you doing some hard tricks • You were amazing to him

V/JIHYUN

• He liked to watch you doing skateboarding tricks • He assisted to every competition you had and support you no matter what • He hated when you get hurt by doing a hard trick, but he knew it was your passion • He tried it once with you, but ended up failing (lol) • He was more of a passive person, so that's why he liked calmed sports • But watching you on the skateboard made him feel excited and nervous • He even took pictures of you in the skateboard while you were practicing • He loved the challenge of capturing your moves in the air with his camera • And the way you smiled and your eyes shining with excitement • He loved everything about you

[lordendsavior]

This is boring probably but I have a question for you!! :) Pls ignore if it's something you don't want to share. You've mentioned before you're a translator. Do you work for yourself/people contract your services individually, or do you work for a company (or something else entirely)? Also, what kinds of things do you translate? Is it oral/in-person or written translations? Boring science-y stuff or literature, etc? It seems like a cool job I'm v curious!

You did break the anonymous rule, but I like you, so I’m gonna answer anyway. So yeah, I work for myself (which is one of the greatest sides of what I do), I do freelance work for translation agencies and private clients. I mostly do written translation, and like a couple of times a year oral translation too (mainly to deal with my anxiety, cause I find it much more challenging. Also I passed a certified translator exam two years ago and its oral part was a true pain in the ass, so after I finally passed it, I feel like I should use this qualification once in a while, so it doesn’t go to waste lol). I mainly translate legal and financial documents (contracts, marriage certificates, etc.), academic papers, travel guides, and basically everything that is not too technical or like too “specialized”. Sometimes, I translate videos and documentaries. I don’t know if it’s a cool job, but I love it. I love that one day I’m learning about Moon phases cause I’m translating a birth certificate from Thailand and the other day I’m doing an article on domestic violence, I even like the “boring” legal stuff cause it’s schematic (and therefore I do it faster, and def don’t have to work flat out then, it’s kind of calming too, the repetitiveness of it).