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#pls ignore this i’m ranting here cause i cba to write this down properly lmao
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#pls ignore this i’m ranting here cause i cba to write this down properly lmao#how the fuck do you help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves#she’s my friend and i love her but also i have no idea what i’m doing. my mam is the therapist not me#and as much as i want to be there she’ll come out with this stuff and i feel paralysed#because i have no idea what to do for the better#and i’m having to hide the kitchen knives because i know what happened last time#and i know that what she’s having an episode it’s not her fault and she needs people around but also half of the flat hate her#for shit she’s said about them in the past and we’re constantly going through the same spiral over and over again#meanwhile she’s telling me about how she’s actively ignoring her therapist and i just don’t know what i could possibly say or do that she’d#listen to#and the only other person who was helping her deal with this stuff is quite possibly done trying after having to call her an ambulance#tonight because she got so drunk of vodka and i just keep getting this overwhelming fear that she’s reliant#that i’m responsible for her almost? and that sounds awful ik it does#but i know the theory with this stuff- i’ve grown up around it and volunteer for a mh charity and stuff#but i have no idea how to help in actuality which makes her reliance so fucking terrifying man#i was about to move out of the flat and go home because this place is making me feel isolated and i didn’t wanna end up in the place i was#in first term but now i just can’t and i don’t know what i’m fucking doing or what to say for the best. people always say ‘just be there’#but how tf do you do that. that sounds so simple but it’s not ‘just be there’ means fucking nothing#because how tf do you help someone set on this mindset when they already have the resources but can’t bring themselves to use them#and who keeps posting every part of it on a public snapchat and instagram story#personal#ignore#actually wrote something#back to the tumblr void#i do have a diary but writing takes effort
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