#pls know this is satire

[i-didnt-do-1t]

Newsies Goil

“Dat goil over there s called Emma.” Jack says pointing her out to Racetrack.

The newsie goil was far better than that bitch Sarah, who fooled CowBoy and then cheated on him.

“I’s love you.” Emma said and Jack smiled at her.

“I love that you’se a Newsie Goil. Dat’s so much better than Sarah. I’s love you too.”

Too show his love, Jack begins to serenade her.

“Wow.” She says. “I never knew you could play the piano.

“I’m full of surprises.” Jack says back with a wink. “Did you know that I have enough money for a wedding. You can get a dress and be the prettiest goil there.”

“I don’t wanna wear a dress.” She says frowning. “Those are so girly.”

Jack laughs and keeps singing Jar of Hearts by Christina Perri.

“Yous is right bout dat.” He says. “That’s like you wearing make up.”

They both laugh at his joke as they both know she doesn’t wear make up like Sarah to try and impress the boys. Her face is naturally pale and flawless with her green eyes bright even with no mascara.

She watches intensely as Jack keeps playing the piano. He must still be sad about Sarah cheating on him with Blink and Skittery two separate times she thinks, because how much emotion he puts into the song as his eyes tear up.

Tears start to stream down his cheeks as he sings about ice in her soul and Emma wants to hug him.

Her raven black hair covers her face as she looks down. She likes to stand like this so no one can see how ugly she is although she always has boys chasing her. She doesn’t understand why.

Jack finishes his song and she doesn’t look up.

“I won’t cheat on you like dat bitch Sarah.”

“I trust you.” Jack says and they kiss.

Jack goes home to tell davey and the other boys that he’s in love.

Emma is about to leave to but then she spots a man in the corner. One she never thought she’d see again.

Morris Delancey. A bully of the newsies.

She quickly tucked her hair under her hat to disguise herself as a boy again like she did for a year, it always helped her sell the most papers when she pretended to be a boy, especially because there were no goil newsies.

she was surprised when Morris started to cry.

“What’s wrong.” She asked trying to keep her voice low to disguise she was a girl, it was difficult because her long eyelashes could give her away so she had to disguise everything good.

“I don’t need no help from a newsie.” Morris says but his eyes are sad.

She hates him for hurting her friends but she feels bad for him also.

She decides to help him because if she wanted to she could beat him in a fight. She would take the chance at talk to him.

She did it last week when he had made a comment at Jack, the love of her life. She had punched his r face and broke his nose and was too fast for him.

“Even delanceys can get sad.” She says as comfort and he nods. “What’s wrong.”

“Ise in love with the prettiest girl I ever seen with raven black hair and green eyes. She’s 4 ft 5 inches but she disappeared before I could tell her I love her.”

Emma gasps. There’s no way he can be talking about her can he??

But she is that short she thinks. She always needs Mush’s help to climb into her bunk and reach things cause she’s too tiny.

It’s hard being the only news goil.

——-

Pops head up from behind walls

Waves. Hi guys sorry it’s been a few months-

Spot: a few months! Dat ain’t good enough goil the people was waiting

Me: I knowwwww

Didn’t watch newsies for a bit

Jack, looking offended but ripped: I thought you loved me

(My eyes tear up) ignore him!!

Anyway I’m back in newsies now and the next chapter is comingsooooon

Spot: (rolls his eyes)

Me: hey! Don’t roll your eyes at me! I could kill you off.

(Takes deep breath and smooths out shirt)

*anyway* should be back with the next update soon!!

Rawr XD (rolls out on mini convertible)

[solazu1]

Ohhh my god nobody fucking look at me I know I know

[flowersintheimpala69]

I love Dean and sam’s relationship because Dean will do something astronomically horrible to Sam and then when Sam finds out deans dosent apologize to sam and instead goes into an emo self hating spiel like “I’m the worst 😞😞😞 I’m horrible 😞😞😞 I hate myself. We got a break up😞😞” and what he wants Sam to say is “nooo babygirl ur ass so fat don’t kys no ur the best big brother” but what sam will actually say is “yea actually what u did is pretty horrible wtf” then Dean will get angry and be like “u don’t get it Sammy I HAD to kill ur friend and allow an angel to possess you and put rat poison in ur smoothies I HAD to because it was to help u!! I’m helping u can’t u see I’m helping u ur so ungrateful!!” And so sam is iced out and disregarded for like two episodes until he eventually is like “ur right Dean u did what u had to do I’m the bad guy I’m sorry” and then Dean takes sam back cuz he can’t live without his brother-husband-girlfriend but he’ll still bring the thing up years later and use it against sam and somehow frame it to make sam look bad. Nobody is doing it like them.

[never-say-neverwhore]

Been dabbling in mood boards lately 🤩

[phin-tastic]

i cannot describe the rage i feel when i click on a fight club deep dive youtube essay, and it’s just… some dude, talking about how this film is the purest portrayal of masculinity and how “men love it because it’s so relatable”.

i mean, i love it because it’s relatable. but not in the way those sigma film bros do.

i love it because i’m gay, hate capitalism and would like to recreationally get beat up.

[lizaluvsthis]

I found the most rare pair

SANS X SMG3

[loveontherocks]

need emma to rekindle her friendship with bowie...just give her more friendships in general so she doesn't die alone :(

[lemedstudent2021]

Where should Jews live? Where do they belong? Where do you consider their native land to be? Honest question.

an honest question deserves an honest answer so here ya go:

Anywhere and everywhere. Jews- the followers of the Abrahamic religion Judaism- along with Muslims, Christians, Atheists, Sikhs, Vegans, and literally any human being under the sun have the right to live wherever they please (given certain criteria are met like visas and that it isnt a military station/ off limits area etc).

Yes my dear reader(s) you read that right; ones faith or lack thereof shouldnt be an obstacle in any aspect of ones life, be it medical services, education, job opportunities, so on and so forth. How novel.

That answers where they 'should' live (although I dont by any means impose anything on anyone; y'all do whatever as long as its legal and harms no one including yourself. God bless). Could is more accurate.

As for where they 'belong', this in my opinion is one of the beauties of religion: people from all walks of life can belong to a religion. Diversity lies at the heart of our existence as human beings and denying it is like denying the existence of the sun. Tolerance is a must if we are ever going to get along with each other. And this belonging isn't irrevocabley tied to geography. But I digress :)

Quick aside just so we're all on the same page: converting to a religion renders you just as valid and equal as someone born into a religion. Most if not all religions preach equality between their followers regardless of background, so i wont hear anything of 'oh theyre not real xyz' or 'they dont count' or any of that bs.

By this logic (religious demographics are, generally speaking, very diverse), there is no 'this set of people belong here, and those over there' ...and proof of that in a sense would be atheists/ agnostics; where would they 'belong'? Antarctica? Outer space? alright ill stop XD

If that were the case, most of the planet would be crammed in the Middle East lol [Syria, Jordan, and Lebanon alone are home to 34M (as of 2023), and the followers of the 3 main Abrahamic religions are an estimated 3.4B (as of 2020) globally. We wouldnt fit even if we used one of these]. Yeah nationality/ race/ ethnicity/ background influence and maybe even dictate one's religious identity, but it isn't the all or nothing we may think it to be.

Which brings us nicely to the next point, and here if you'll allow me i'd like to correct it to native land of Judaism (where it originated/ flourished/ spread whatever) as opposed to native land of Jews because as i mentioned above, a religion doesnt (or shouldnt) differentiate nor discriminate between its followers. By restricting them to one geographical location (and for some using it as an indicator of their authenticity) we do them great disservice as well as contradict the teachings themselves. A demonstration:

Im Jordanian right, (dad's maternal side are from bilad al sham; Syria) and im a born Muslim alhamdulillah. My dads Malaysian roommates from his uni days are also born Muslims (and have the best food lol, my all time favourite is lemak cili padi) and seperating us on the basis of them not being Arab or Middle Eastern is unislamic, intolerant, xenophobic, and wrong on every level. Alternatively, im just as Muslim as someone from Mecca or Medina. We're all Muslim. we are the world...

Circling back, Judaism the religion is native to the Holy land (I guess you can say it started in Egypt till it moved there but idk. Regardless), and Jews (adherants of the faith) can't in my humble opinion be fairly categorised as one monolithic unit... just like any and every other faith out there.

Another quick aside; this is merely a tumblr post that cant do the history and culture and intricacies and so much more of this matter a portion of the justice it deserves. I am but a tired medical student answering to the best of my abilities a question I was asked with my limited knowledge in theology and perspective in general, so do me a favour and keep that in mind. And to anyone reading this if you have questions or corrections or resources or anything you want to mention be my guest :)

If you're still here, I'm both grateful and amused. Here's what you probably came for, the piece de resistance if you will: 🍉israel🍉

Disclaimer: thanks for reading this far, but if you disagree in any way shape or form with any of the 30 human rights articles, you may as well stop reading and put your device through the shredder. Bigots, racists, fascists, anti vaxxers etc. dni

So far ive seen this idea, call it what you will, two times (which isnt a lot but its weird that it happened to me twice consecutively), that claims the freedom of Palestine equals a genocide of the Jews.

Er, no? No ma'am. One does not solve a genocide by comitting another genocide. What part of 'never again' are we missing here?

Before we get into politcal nominations and factions and other territories i dont plan on invading (pun intended) but might accidentally cross anyway (I forgot where i was going with this) i want to remind everyone that Judaism is not synonymous with Israel nor zionism (if u disagree with this go ahead and shred ur device too).

A refresher: Judaism is a religion, Israel is an illegal-occupying-apartheid-state, and Zionism is a movement/ ideology

So 'genocide of the Jews' is both wrong (diction) and more wrong (factually incorrect) in that the liberation of Palestine means freedom from oppression, discrimination, settler colonialism... the whole nine yards. Enough bloodshed already its been nearly 76 years.

When Netenyahu is eventually drop kicked out of office (and hopefully hung, drawn, and quartered for his plentiful warcrimes) what happens to the (illegal) citizens of Israel? Well first off, return the stolen homes and land to their rightful owners who have the keys (and documents if they werent tampered with or erased) to prove it.

As for the illegal-under-international-law settlements and new also illegal establishments; I have no idea what international laws will decree (not that I have that much faith in the judiciary system), but I assume they will be seized and evicted of the illegal tenants (how you like me now?) and given to those who have been displaced or homes ruined etc. because its theirs and theirs alone and it was unlawfully and cruelly taken away from them and not because the (remaining lol) former Israeli citizens can't or shouldn't live in palestine. they can go live somewhere where its legal. the priority is Palestinians tho.

What about the indigenous everyone else? As long as their houses aren't stolen or illegal they can should stay because its legal and its theirs and thats that. you cannot kick someone out of their home to give it to another (which was the basis of the creation of Israel.) because its ✨i l l e g a l✨

And the people who dont belong so to speak? I think this one's case by case; like I said at the very, very beginning; people have the right to live wherever as long as its legal and ok to do so regardless of faith or background, and no one should be denied their right to live in Palestine as a country like any other, but they certainly must be denied living in homes stolen and given to them because thats, say it with me now, illegal <3

[slveepyscwrs]

"I'm proud of my writing!!"

me: oh really?? then how about you show me that first wattpad (or fanfiction.net) fanfic of yours??

you know, the one you wrote when you were an edgy mentally ill depressed 11-14 yr old middle schooler

yes, the one with the stereotypical Wattpad alc0h0lic parents who nearly abu$e their kid to de@th at the end of every other chapter

yes, the one that you wrote entirely in the first person

yes, the one where you genuinely thought you were writing like shakespeare but ended up making a million grammar mistakes instead

yes, the one with the most random and messy "I came up with this at 3 am" plot line known to man

yes, the one featuring kagehina, bakudeku or another one of those insanely popular gay ships

yes, the one with the gay 'lemon' scene that you were most definitely too young to write but who cares because its 2010s wattpad (and very biologically inaccurate bc most of us were AFAB)

yes, the one where you wrote text conversations like this:

"ORANGE TANGERINE SHORTIE!! 🍊🍊🍊(Hinata): hey i think im going to do a my r lyric prank in the gc 🥺🥺"

"ANNOYING ASS BEANPOLE 🙄😒🫘 (Tsukishima): what the actual fuck Hinata-"

yes, the one with an A/N ranting about random life stuff every two lines

yes, the one where you linked some random nightcore song in said A/N of a gacha anime person singing their little heart out about the third breakup this week and wrote "I was thinking about this song while writing this so u should listen to it while reading guys!! 🥺"

yes, the one where you wrote at the end: "OH EM GEE NO WAY YOU ACTUALLY READ THIS!! no way cuz this was literally so bad!! u deserve a cookie uwu 🍪 !! ill be updating with next chapter very soon so stay tuned 😈"

("Last Updated: November 2017")

oh, but of course we're going to pretend that phase didn't exist and avoid clicking on our old fics like they're toxic waste... (literally me) 🤭

let me know what else i missed anything in the notes!!

[anton-wyzek]

Seeing people once again speculate on Dan and Phil’s relationship,, you all really will never learn

[blueberry-beanie]

Die Anstalt im Homeoffice pt.1/2 | 24. März 2020

[kamiversee]

hi mommy 😼🔥🐺💗💗🎀

Shhh not now kitten whiskers🤫

[oqal]

Yeah it should be so long as its marked and tagged. Ive seen so much porn on tumblr I think they gave up

heh…. these liberals got too scared of us now…… heh….. good :)

[carpthecarp]

Feeling: Crazy 🤪😜😝

Might....get a little silly, and wear my Batman shirt to the function 😂😎😋

[padmesbox]

Been binging the boys all week like a season a day almost lmao rip and yes i love soldier boy idgaf, i love queen Maeve too and i hate that i love frenchie bc that actor was in the iof which fucking gross but yeah i watched the whole thing just bc i wanted to get to season 3 (read great things about it + i wanted to see soldier boy) and hooooboy was it absolutely worth it (s2 was kinda meh until like the last 4 eps but still great) which i've read kinda sucked so i'll take it easier with this one (plus there's no soldier boy and no maeve 😒)

[goldshadows]

@razorfst : 🎁 for dais ( any verse we have tbh ) → wrapped is here / accepting.

" a good woman listens to her man. " one of many beliefs dean had drilled into her and michelle throughout the years. though daisy knows better, his voice is always in the back of her mind haunting her. his shadow always creeps over her shoulder and watches every little thing she does.

going out? that's what sluts do. lesbians? don't exist, every woman needs a dick. assaulted? who's gonna believe a whore like you? you're not in the mood? you still let him have it.

it's hard to unlearn, to undo the damage, even while she knows this type of thinking is beyond disgusting. she would never push it onto anyone else, only holds it against herself which is bad enough as is. a shake of her head as she tries to get dean out of her head. the blonde is quick to come up with something to deflect, a macabre joke. " after all, we have to thank men we're able to vote, right ? "