#pluckygazelle

[chinzhilla]

I loved the ending of the Sign too. I think Babe also played Tharn a little hesitant in telling Phaya what happened during their year apart because he was scared that Phaya would be mad at Tharn for staying in the Naga realm for so long. But in the end Phaya understood Tharn and his empathy. Even telling Doc Snake that he would take care of Tharn. It was such a beautifully fitting ending for a character who always only wanted peace but who was always hurt by the violence instead.

yeah i'm sure tharn was feeling all kinds of apprehension beneath his joy and relief, it would only be natural given the circumstances (and given how phaya has reacted to him siding with snake man in the past). but he was able to tell phaya that he did it, that they're finally free, and that's all phaya needed to hear

i really wish we had gotten to see some of tharn's perspective during that year, to see some of his interactions with chalothorn, his pining for phaya and his working to get back to him, etc. i think that was a missed opportunity to make the ending that much more satisfying. but i wouldn't change anything about how everything was resolved. for me it was pretty much perfect

[thesignsource]

Hey! I wondered if you had anything in the archives from Episode 2, (3/4) the exchange between Phaya and Tharn overlooking the lake. More specifically the exchange about their past lives (where Tharn calls Phaya a cow and Phaya calls Tharn his wife), Tharn made some good facial expressions. If not I wondered if I could request GIFs from around 2:30 to 3:15 in the third part of episode 2. Thank you!

hello! thank you so much for your request! i turned it into two gifsets so it wasn't too long, and you can find them here and here! 💖✨

[respectthepetty]

Okay. I am missing something here and I am hoping your expertise can help. Everyone keeps talking about the pink lighting in The Sign series and I just don't understand the significance. If it wouldn't be too much trouble I am hoping you can explain it to me. Thank you!

@pluckygazelle, for me, in the simplest form, pink = 💕love💕

Shows like GAP clearly stated such in its series by color coding one character pink and the other black.

So when Porsche was asked if he loved Kinn in KinnPorsche, his backdrop was pink.

Jade just asked Mai in Middleman's Love why everything had turned pink, to which Mai responded it was because Mai loves Jade.

We know Pisaeng fell first in Be My Favorite, so maybe it was here under the pink club lights that Pisaeng sealed his fate.

Or when Kawi passed out on him with the pink wisteria in the background.

Sometimes, the pink sheets snitch on the couple and tell us they are in love like in Between Us.

Or in Big Dragon, even when Yai didn't want to admit he loved Mangkorn.

Normally, if a pair is color coded, seeing pink (or having rose-colored glasses) denotes that they are happy and in love, like with our Green Guy wearing pink in Love Tractor.

Because even Pink Milk used to be a BL staple signaling that this would be a queer love story, which is why I was thrilled when Last Twilight's Mork combined two love symbols into one.

Which I think was also a callback of sorts to Jimmy and Sea's first series together, Vice Versa, since Jimmy's character's, Puen's favorite color was pink.

Once again, pink = 💕love💕

Regardless if it's a soft pink

Or a more intense one

We know the love is there, which is why I liked that Tharn and Phaya started soft,

And will only intensify as the story progresses.

So, yeah, 8/10 times, pink = 💕love💕

The remaining 2/10 is Tankhun's wardrobe.

[7nessasaryevils]

Fucking Finally!!!

I'm sick, exhausted and hangry... but that's not about to stop me from posting this CEO au!

@pluckygazelle @doyou000me @telomeke @perfectlypeachbear @non-binarypal7 @blue-grama @thepancakelady @neonpartyrocker @overthinkthis

[overthinkthis]

Thank you @wardog-of-the-endless for tagging me, even though this game is so hard!

Challenge: Make a poll with five of your all time favourite characters, and then tag five people to do the same. See which character is everyone's favourite.

I thought about sticking to BL characters but there are too many that I like roughly the same amount, so here you go with five characters that really mean something to me:

Shoutout to Dawan from My Marvellous Dream is You, who I didn't want to put on the list before the series is finished.

I've seen a lot of these polls and have no idea who's already been tagged but I'm tagging @doyou000me, @blue-grama, @7nessasaryevils, @pluckygazelle and @malin-moon (no pressure obvs)

[the-wayside]

For @pluckygazelle, who offered "Tharn and Yai reunite"

a short drabble ficlet. Unbeta'd please enjoy even if it didn't go how I wanted it to. g-rated.

It's easy to remember the people you've lost, the empty gaps that haunt and ache, the love with no place to go but out in tears and anger. For the people who are left there is gratitude and an overwhelming lack.

I wish I was better for you.

But Tharn forgets it when Yai turns up at his apartment, exactly the same as a year ago and P'Sand half a step behind him when Tharn opens the door to his distinct three raps that he told Tharn never to open for any more or less than.

P'Yai is crying, big ugly snotty tears, all because he missed Tharn and it guts him heavily, wrapping his too-short arms around Yai who is so much more than him.

"Little brother," is whispered in his ear and Tharn wraps his arms tighter as if he can close the space by will alone and his own tears start to fall. "P'Yai."

He's aware that he probably looks nuts, tears slowly rolling down his face as he holds onto a bigger, more blubbering mess of a man but he wasn't whole until this moment. Phaya takes up so much, the wide canvas of his life is brushed in red and gold but this piece, this blue and green echo is Yai and Yai alone. The one person who has stood with Tharn through all of it. Tharn's constant in the face of overwhelming loneliness.

Strong arms haul him up and Tharn doesn't even object even though he usually hates when Yai jokes about how little he is. He never grew "up" only in attitude.

Smaller, thinner arms wrap around his arms from the back and he feels the soft warmth of P'Sand as she hides her face in his back and Yai just cries harder. To him, his whole world is in his arms and Tharn hates himself for the fact he ever took that from him.

"You're home," Yai says after what feels like an eternity later as he's set back down on his feet and he turns to P'Sand and she's delicately wiping her eyes and Yai is reaching his hand past Tharn to her to brush her tears away.

Beyond her when Tharn turns with his back to Yai is Phaya, smiling warmly and humbly, quietly knowing how much Tharn needs his family.

It's Yai who calls him over with a dramatic, "Phaya!" with a heavy press on -ya, almost sounding like a whine which makes everyone laugh but Tharn knows categorically that Yai has not taken his hand off Tharn's shoulder since the moment Tharn opened the door.

Phaya indulges them and walks over to wrap Yai in a big hug of his own and Tharn sees the tendrils of a bond formed outside of him and P'Sand smiles kindly at him and wipes his face, "They missed you so much. We all did."

"Thank you, for taking care of him," Tharn says to her as she takes his hand. Her watery smile isn't entirely for him but for the pain that everyone who loved him had to endure.

"You can't leave, Tharn," P'Sand says with a laugh, "they won't survive it."

"Who said that?" Yai jokes, but his face is still wet and he wipes his nose with the back of his hand which makes Sand wrinkle hers in disgust.

Still, the gravity of the situation pulls and Yai looks at him, solemnly, "I'm glad you're home."

Tharn nods, the wedge in his throat coming back as he nods lamely.

He doesn't expect it but when Yai hauls him in for another hug, just them, it breaks him open. He is home. He's finally home after what feels like forever.

Time passes however fast or slow, it doesn't matter but there comes a point where Phaya pulls him away and tucks him into his side, "He's my boyfriend."

Yai laughs, "He was my brother first."

Phaya goes to open his mouth, probably to say that Tharn was his lifetimes ago but Tharn whacks him in the stomach and he oofs out a winded breath and everyone laughs.

After that, it's a wildly unremarkable night. They all sit and watch a movie, arguing over pizza toppings and whether or not Yai should drink that much beer before P'Sand peels him off the sofa from next to Tharn to put him to bed at home.

Phaya stands at his back as they wave the couple off, fingers running gently down Tharn's spine, "He'll be okay."

Tharn looks up and back at him and the gratitude swells up like a crashing wave on the sea bank. This person loves his person just as much as he does.

"I'm sorry," Tharn admits and Phaya cups his cheek.

"What for?"

Tharn doesn't want to voice it but Phaya knows and he kisses the top of his head.

"P'Yai doesn't care about that."

"Yeah, but--"

"You wouldn't care, right? Neither does he. All he ever wanted was his brother home. Now you are. Let it be okay."

It doesn't come easily to him. He's restless as he tries to focus on the tv for whatever thing Phaya put on but he can't. Instead, he digs out his phone.

I'm sorry

A ping a few minutes later:

What for?

Tharn has to laugh at the similarities between Phaya and Yai.

For leaving.

You're back now, right?

Yeah.

Then don't worry about it.

In a lot of ways, it's more grace than he deserves, but he puts his phone down and cuddles back up into Phaya's arms.

"You have to forgive yourself eventually," Phaya says like he's focused on his program and not speaking directly to Tharn.

"Not today," Tharn tells him and snuggles into his side.

"Tomorrow?"

"Maybe."

[pastelwitchling]

I was SO excited about your announcement for writing sequels and immediately started rereading your One Shot Collection, which I love by the way. May I request a sequel for Chapter 3 of the first One Shot Collection. Thank you!

Sequel to this fic.

@pluckygazelle

***

Max had to let Michael out of the cell sometime, and Michael wasted no time running after Alex. He’d very pointedly ignored the drunk still sputtering about floating staplers, to which a knowing Max rolled his eyes and dismissed him as drunk, or he would’ve taken the stapler himself and physically jammed it into his head.

But he’d had time to cool off in the cell, and plenty of time to think. He knew what he’d seen in Alex’s eyes when he’d fought back, he knew what Alex had seen in himself. Michael scoured his memory for any reassurance he might’ve given Alex in the past, any comfort he’d offered. But nothing. He couldn’t remember a single time he’d ever told Alex that he was not a monster, that he was nothing like his father. What had he said instead? Nothing.

He'd left him for someone else the morning after Alex had confessed he saw his father in the mirror.

I tried to be here, and you threw me away.

                He’d thrown him away. He’d shaken his head and reached for Alex and tried to deny it, but that’s what he’d done. Alex had come to him, despite fearing his father, and in his eyes and the words he hadn’t said, he’d promised Michael he was there. And Michael had turned away from him.

                He drove for ten minutes before he realized that he had no idea where to go.

                “Damn it,” he whispered, pressing his forehead to his hands on the steering wheel. He knew what he had to do, but he didn’t want to do it. He didn’t want to, he didn’t want to, he didn’t want—

                “How’d you get this number?” Kyle demanded on the other line, and Michael’s grip on his phone tightened.

                “My brother’s a sheriff, remember? Where does Alex live?”

                Michael heard shuffling on the other end, and imagined Kyle shifting away from his desk as if sure he’d heard wrong.

                “Come again?”

                “Where does Alex live?” he enunciated, like he was talking to a particularly dim child.

                “Don’t you already know?”

                The question was simple, innocent even, but a lump lodged in Michael’s throat at the implication and he clenched his jaw. “Just tell me, Valenti.”

                “Why?” Kyle defended. “Alex actually talks to me, and I think he’s better off with some time alone.”

                Through gritted teeth, Michael said, “Alex hates being alone.”

                “Sorry,” he said calmly. “Did I say alone? I meant away from you.”

                Michael could swear his truck was vibrating. He wanted to split the earth in two and hope that the crack reached Kyle in his damn office. But he thought of Alex, the fear and self-hatred in his eyes, and suddenly . . . his anger didn’t seem to matter so much. All that mattered was getting to him.

                “Please,” he said quietly, and hated how helpless he sounded. “I need to see him.”

                Kyle said nothing a long while, then he heaved a sigh. “There’s this cabin . . .”

                Michael still couldn’t completely believe Jim Valenti had left Alex his hunting cabin, even as he parked on the dirt road leading up to the front porch. Or maybe it was that he couldn’t believe how much Alex had needed all these years, how much he’d wanted. For some reason, it had always felt like everything had fallen into place for Alex after joining the military.

                Seeing the physical proof that, even as a captain, he’d needed help and someone to lean on, left a hole in Michael’s stomach. Especially since he’d never had an inkling of it.

                He swallowed, his heart hammering, as he knocked on the door. No response. He knocked again, already starting to fidget. Screw it, he thought and turned the knob with his mind when a voice behind him suddenly said—

                “What is it with people trying to break in all the time?” Alex came up onto the porch, a bunch of logs under one arm. Michael, quickly getting over his surprise, rushed to Alex’s other side to take them from him.

Alex let him do what he wanted without looking at him, and opened his front door. He stood back, nudging his chin inside for Michael to lead the way. Michael did as he was told, managing not to glance back at Alex to make sure he was still there. He came in and set the logs down beside the fireplace.

“I can light it,” he offered.

“I can do it myself,” he muttered, picking up a matchbox off the mantel piece and lighting a match. Soon, the flames were roaring and the room filled with a comforting warmth. Michael watched Alex shuffle around the space, putting things away, folding a blanket that had been left rumpled on the couch, no doubt a remnant of another sleepless night Alex had spent in front of his computer.

“You’ve been staying here,” Michael said, “since you got back to Roswell?”

It was a stupid question. An obvious question. But Michael didn’t know how else to start and felt he should start with something. No matter how desperate.

Alex raised a brow, clearly onto his weak attempt at beginning the conversation, and nodded. “You hungry?”

“N-No.” Then, as an afterthought, added, “Thanks.”

“Tea?”

“Whatever you want,” he said, and internally winced. Whatever you want? He was such a dumbass, but he couldn’t help it. Alex looked drained, all the anger he’d shown Michael not a few hours ago gone now, as if the outburst at the sheriff’s office had left him too resigned and miserable to stay mad. He wondered if Alex would kill him if he stepped forward and engulfed him in his arms.

Before he thought better of it, he blurted, “Can I hug you?”

Alex, on his way into the hall, stopped. Without turning to look at Michael, he sighed and said, “Come with me.”

Michael followed him, and for a second, he wondered if Alex was leading him into the bedroom. Nervous anticipation made his breaths quicken, but he quickly realized that he was just being taken into the kitchen instead. He swallowed down his disappointment as Alex grabbed a teapot from the cabinet and started making tea.

Alex waited until the water was boiling to lean against the counter, cross his arms, and finally look at Michael. “I didn’t come to your trailer that night so that you would take care of me.”

“I know,” Michael said at once.

“I came because I love you,” he said, and it was the simplicity with which he said it that had Michael’s heart thumping in his chest.

“I love you, too.”

Alex pursed his lips. “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“Did I ever make you feel unwanted?” he asked. “Did I ever make you feel like a monster? Was that why you went to her, to—to get back at me?”

“Alex.”

“Show me how it feels?”

“No!” he defended. “No, not for a second!”

Something in Alex’s eyes fractured and despite his anger, his lower lip trembled. It broke Michael’s heart.

“See,” Alex said slowly, “that feels worse to me. Because if you didn’t do it to hurt me, then you did it for yourself. Which means that there was a second—it doesn’t matter if it wasn’t any longer than that, Guerin—but there was a single second you wanted someone else instead of me.”

He looked away, and roughly wiped an escaped tear from his cheek. “I can’t let it go. I don’t care if it’s obsessive, I don’t care if it’s unfair, I can’t forgive you for wanting someone else, Michael, okay? No amount of bar fights or getting arrested is going to change that, so why don’t you just save us both the trouble and go home.”

And with that, Alex turned away, probably expecting Michael to leave while he didn’t have to witness it. However, Michael just stood there, lost, and said, “But you’re my home.”

Alex tensed, and when Michael touched his back, flinched away. “Don’t touch me,” he warned, his very words trembling.

Michael pulled away only for an instant, then tried again to touch Alex’s shoulder. Alex managed a choked complaint, but said nothing else as Michael leaned in, hugging Alex from behind with one arm. Then his other arm came down, his hand falling down from Alex’s shoulder to his waist.

“I love you,” he whispered. “I never stop loving you. Even when I try to.”

“Don’t . . .”

“Would you believe me?” Michael said into his shoulder. “If I said I wanted to forget you, if I wanted to want someone else and I just . . . couldn’t. Would you believe me, Alex?”

“Yeah,” Alex said quietly. “I would. But if you wanted to give me up once, then—”

“No,” Michael growled, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt to keep him close. “Never. No one else was ever going to have you, Manes. You’re mine, I wouldn’t give you up for anyone or anything.” He forced the edge in his voice down and confessed, “It’s just . . . you kept coming back through every stupid thing I’ve ever done. I thought this was just another stupid thing. A stupid, stupid thing,” he ended on a whisper, holding onto Alex for dear life.

Michael knew he was hurting him, but he couldn’t get himself to let go. The very idea of giving Alex up to someone else had him trembling.

Then, because he knew that if Alex kicked him out, it was important he heard this first, he said, “You’re nothing like him, Alex.” Alex inhaled shakily. Something told Michael he’d been holding it in for hours. “You’re not. You’re you, and . . . I love you. I know I suck at showing it, but I love you. More than anyone, or anything. More than anyone could love anyone, I love you, Alex.” He pressed his forehead to Alex’s shoulder and hugged him tighter. “Please give me another chance to prove it.”

Alex breathed slowly, forcing each one in, and finally he whispered, “I can’t.”

Michael’s heart fell into his stomach before Alex turned in his hold and gripped his shoulders. “I can’t give you a chance knowing that if you changed your mind later, it would kill me.”

“Alex—” he started, about to promise Alex that he wouldn’t change his mind, that he loved him, that he’d been waiting to get this close to him.

Then Alex took his face in his hands and crashed their mouths together, and Michael’s words turned to a low, surprised groan that Alex eagerly swallowed. Michael tilted his head to deepen the kiss, pushing Alex against the counter, reaching under his shirt. Then Alex pulled back and pressed their foreheads together, clearly trying to keep himself from surging back in. Michael wished he would.

“No chances,” Alex said roughly. “No trial periods, no probation, no nothing. That’s not how we work, Guerin. You belong to me, do you understand? You won’t mess up because you will not belong to anyone else. I won’t mess up because you’re all I could ever want. So we’re doing this, and we’re going to last forever because you’re it for me.” He opened his eyes, a darkness and possessiveness in them that made Michael melt. “You’re all mine.”

Michael nodded, completely dazed. “All yours,” he promised. “All yours, Private.”

***

Happy malex Monday ❤

[chinzhilla]

Thank you so much! You have produced some beautiful GIF sets throughout this Sign rewatch and I looked forward to them after every episode!

oh my god thank you for this message!! 🥺🥺😭😭 it makes me so happy to know even one person enjoys my gifs considering how much fun i have making them

this rewatch has been such a blast and my heart is so full from both the show itself and experiencing it with this community!! so i'll take this opportunity to extend my own thanks to our little corner of tumblr as well - y'all make this SO much fun and i can't wait for the special and for whatever show grips us next!!!

thanks again for the ask it was VERY appreciated! 💖💖

[chinzhilla]

I have wanted to discuss Dr. Slowmo with someone forever. Your post about Tharn was spot on, Tharn dives head first into the Doc's arms and closes his eyes. Now Tharn believes romantic love is a death sentence, so I always read it as platonic on Tharn's side but no less intense. More than that though Doc has been Tharn's friend, his therapist, his caretaker. I think Doc is Tharn's safe place which he has sorely lacked all his life only later to find out that Doc was the exact opposite. Thanks for listening to my TED talk!

you are SO welcome i agree with everything you said!!

as i was rewatching that scene i thought about my own irl friend group, which has been incredibly close for coming up on a decade now, and if ANYONE tried to convince me one of them had been lying to and manipulating me for the entirety of our relationship my response would be a swift ‘fuck you’ because what the hell would they know?

and you’re right, it doesn’t have to be romantic on tharn’s part for it to be one of the most important relationships in his life (of which, i would remind everyone, he has like. four. prior to canon)

this is just one of those situations where i think it's really easy for us as the audience to get frustrated with this character because OBVIOUSLY chalothorn is a bad dude! he's not even really being subtle about it!! how can tharn not see it!! and that's exacerbated by our filtering through phaya's pov. but yeah that moment outside the bar really hammered home to me that until that confrontation on the cliff tharn is completely, if somewhat willingly, blind to the doc's machinations. he's his friend, and tharn loves him

[thesignsource]

requested by @pluckygazelle

THE SIGN (2024)

[thesignsource]

requested by @pluckygazelle

THE SIGN (2024)

[7nessasaryevils]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Spread the self-love ❤

ohohoho why do ya'll insist on making me choose favorites?? You know I'm gonna cheat!

Croissants for My Beloved: The Sign - the coffee-shop au we always need in every fandom

2. Nessie's TS Universe: The Sign - my full set of TS fics based in canon... i posted six of these in the span of two months, they are very dear to me!

3. Have You Ever Wondered: Bad Buddy - the what-if au that has every BBS fan in a choke hold: what if we were friends??

4. Love in Moments: Bad Buddy - my very first request based fic. I made a lot of friends through writing this fic!

5. In the Fields of Alfriston: 2Moons2 - a painter's au that i recently re-posted after revamping it. i quite loved working on this one.

alrighty who to tag who to tag... @pluckygazelle @the-wayside @thepancakelady @non-binarypal7 @telomeke go forth and show off!

[7nessasaryevils]

WIP Game

Okay, I've been tagged in this a bunch of times and I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to get to this! Thanks to @pluckygazelle, @ablazenqueen, @doyou000me for tagging me in this!

Rules: make a new post with the names of all your files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! And then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

So, here's what I have:

TS CEO Au - the sign

TS Pool sketch - the sign

Korn dies - kinnporsche

TS requests - the sign

Alfriston - 2moons2 (ongoing)

Alrighty... tagging @the-wayside @absolutebl @perfectlypeachbear @xagan and @non-binarypal7

Let's hear your questions :D <3

[7nessasaryevils]

~ Writing Patterns ~

[How to play: Write the opening line from the last ten fics that you posted and see if there are any patterns!]

both my wifey @ablazenqueen and @non-binarypal7 tagged me in this so thank you darlings!!!

I've been on a writing roll this past month so here we go... let's see what do i do

Kit runs away from it all. - In The Fields of Alfriston (MingKit - 2moons2)

2. They grow up together as neighbors. School-mates. Best friends. - - have you ever wondered.... (PatPran - Bad Buddy)

3. The first time Passin speaks to Ming, he bumbles and fumbles his way into congratulating Ming that Dissaya is his girlfriend. - a life we could have had (a HYEW prequel [PatPran] - Bad Buddy)

4. Sand breathes out as calloused fingertips brush against the back of her hand and she turns her palm, welcoming the heat that covers her fingers. - Whispers of A Prayer (Tharn reuniting with everyone - The Sign)

5. They normally shower together to you know... "save water" but Yaa has needed Phaya in the attic, getting him to move some boxes so that she could unearth some old files that the board was asking for. - Sleep, Love (Phaya/Tharn - The Sign)

6. The pain is constant. Overwhelming. Everywhere. - You Learn To Love (Tharn in the Naga realm - The Sign)

7. After the tears, and the hugs, and the... sort of explanations (because how are they supposed to explain past lives, multiple lifetimes, soulmates and magic?), Tharn is finally alone. - The Time for Dreaming Has Passed (Phaya/Tharn - The Sign)

8. Singh doesn't use the rooftop gym at headquarters too often. Mostly because he doesn't need to. - A Lingering Glance (Phaya/Tharn - The Sign)

9. The Nagini is intriguing. A curious thing filled with contradictions. - Like a Wave to Shore (Phaya/Tharn - The Sign)

10. When Henry pulls on the hoodie in the dark of his room, the rhythm of the rain masking their silence, Alex doesn't think much of it. - Clothes Mean Nothing (Alex/Henry - RWRB)

Okayyyyyy... so it looks like I really like action openings... which makes sense for someone like me. i'm constantly on the move and when I'm not, I'm narrating what goes on inside my head. i like to be dumped mid-way into something happening apparently :D

This was fun!!

okay let's see... gonna tag @blue-grama @fiercynn @pluckygazelle @the-wayside @snickerdoodlles and of course, anyone who sees this and would like to try! this is also a great way to showcase fics you've posted so go forth and brag!!! <3

[overthinkthis]

Thank you @doyou000me for tagging me!

Rules: in a new post, show the last line you wrote and tag as many people as there are words (or as many as you feel like).

When he tried to go to sleep in the evening, his thoughts would inevitably settle on Tharn.

(Now who could that line be about? Big mystery!)

Tagging @blue-grama, @pluckygazelle and @imogenegomi. And @wardog-of-the-endless because I secretly hope it will be a line from that gbyfd crossover (please don't take this too serious). And of course anyone who wants to play.

[pastelwitchling]

Hi! I have binge read your first one shot collection again so get ready for some requests. (My current tv show just disappointed me in the worst way so I need some Malex, Kylex, and Forlex healing via reading your work) I wanted to request a Kylex epilogue for chapter 25. I love how vulnerable Alex let's himself be at the end of the story. Thank you!

@pluckygazelle

Sequel to this fic.

***

Alex and Kyle sat in Kyle’s car, waiting at a stoplight that had long since turned green, but as there was no one else on the road, they felt in no rush to get wherever they were going. The night was officially ruined, and Kyle wished he had some magic words to help Alex feel better, but the memory of Michael’s words, Michael’s eyes on Alex, the anger and plea in Michael’s voice, was beyond any comfort Kyle could give.

It didn’t matter who his actual boyfriend was, Alex’s kryptonite would always be Michael. There was no getting past him.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he offered, and Alex, staring outside the window, merely shook his head.

“Alex,” he sighed, “it’s okay.”

“It’s not,” Alex said. His brows were pinched, his lips pursed. Kyle used to interpret that look as Alex thinking hard, but he’d learned a long time ago to see the remorse alongside Alex’s train of thought, the pain that encompassed it all. It was a complicated feeling only Michael could bring on.

It’s okay, Kyle told himself. You knew what you were getting into. It’s Alex, and Alex is always worth it.

He took Alex’s hand, and kissed his fingers until the tension in his shoulders faded.

Alex finally slumped against his seat and heaved a sigh. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“Don’t be sorry.”

“He shouldn’t get to me this much.”

“But he does,” Kyle said simply. “I know. It’s okay,” he repeated.

“It’s not,” Alex repeated as well, turning in his seat to face him. “Kyle, it’s not. Stop making excuses for my . . . my . . .”

“Your what?”

“My weakness,” Alex confessed quietly.

“Are you kidding me?” Kyle asked, turning to face him, too. “Alex, you’re the strongest person I know. Look, I didn’t want to say this, mostly because it’s a real hit to the ego—”

“Don’t break up with me,” Alex said at once, covering Kyle’s hand on his with his own, squeezing hard. “I swear, I won’t—I won’t talk to him again, I won’t go near him again—”

“Whoa, slow down,” Kyle cupped his jaw. “Slow down, baby. I’m not going to break up with you.”

Alex clenched his jaw, eyes glassy and resigned. “What’re you calling it then? Freeing me? Letting me go? Making me happy? I’ve heard it all before.”

“Alex—”

“That’s what you’re going to say, isn’t it?” Alex said. “That Michael and I are cosmic soulmates and should be together, right? That we’re destined for each other and no one else will ever measure up, and any other crap way to tell me who I’m supposed to love and who I’m supposed to be with—”

“Stop.” Kyle slid a hand into his hair, forcing Alex to look at him instead of letting him fade away in front of him, back into his dark thoughts. “I am not abandoning you to some guy that won’t treat you like you deserve.”

Alex’s eyes focused, and his lower lip trembled ever so slightly. Terrified to hope. “What?” he croaked.

Kyle let his hand fall down to the nape of Alex’s neck and massaged the area until Alex stopped looking like a cornered kitten, expecting trouble and both prepared and terrified of fighting it.

“I do think you and Guerin love each other,” he said, and as Alex opened his mouth to argue it, Kyle cut in with, “But I know you love me, too.” Alex clamped his mouth shut, but nodded vigorously, his hand squeezing Kyle’s tighter as he leaned in an inch. The small hopeful gestures made Kyle’s lips quirk. “And yes, I think you and Michael have some kind of cosmic soulmate destiny that keeps you together.”

His expression turned serious as he went on, “But cosmic means jack if he doesn’t show it, Alex, and he doesn’t show it.” He dropped his hand from the nape of Alex’s neck to the small of his back, pulling him. “I show it, and I’ll keep showing it. So yeah, I know about you and Michael, and I know how important he’ll always be to you.”

He kissed Alex’s hand. “But I also know that if we’re ever going to break up, it’s not going to be because of me. I had to say that you love each other out loud because the day you say it is the day we end this. And I don’t know when that time will be—”

Alex was already shaking his head. “It’s not—”

“I don’t know when that day will be,” Kyle insisted, “but I don’t want it to be today. Not now.” He brushed the back of Alex’s hand with his thumb. “Not yet.”

Alex searched his face, somehow able to hear what Kyle wasn’t saying. That he didn’t want to see Alex try to lie to himself. Someday, when the time was right and Michael finally got his head out of his ass, Alex would choose him. Alex would always choose Michael over the world.

And yet, when Alex’s fears settled and he took Kyle’s hand and whispered, “I love you, Kyle,” Kyle took all the comfort he needed in it. For now, Alex loved him. For now, Alex was his. And that was good enough.

He’s worth it, Kyle believed with every cell in his body. These moments will always be worth it.