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trippinsorrows · 2 months

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with me + part twenty

authors note: this is more on the boring/filler side, and i apologize for that, but it covers some necessary things and hints at other things. plus, the one after this is wrestlemania and then after that is the infamous disney trip, and those def won't be boring/fillers. 👀

also, what do you ya'll think reader is having? i'm also open to name suggestions cause i hate naming characters lmao

status: in progress��// masterlist

warnings: fluff, language, angst, and suggestive themes

song inspo: with me by destiny’s child

faceclaims

words: 6.6k

taglist: @pixiedust4000 @yolobloggers @wanderingreigns @southerngirl41 @msbigredmachine @romanreignsbae

Life is one crazy ass ride.

You’ve always known this, but the past few months have really shown you just how insane things can be. It’s been up, it’s been down, it’s been just a fucking rollercoaster of events and emotions, but somehow, things always seen to work out in your favor.

You expected, maybe more so hoped, that your Live with Jadah would go over well. Would help people see and understand that there’s so much more to the story, so much more to you than the lies that have been fed to them by your apparently psychotic ex-best friend. That was the semi-goal.

Well, to say that goal was met is a bit of an understatement.

The Live went viral, spreading and making it to most global and some international platforms. TMZ formally issued an apology to you, Joe, and Jadah, and retracted their story with Mariah, even scrubbing the interview, which Joe’s legal team believes is only to avoid getting caught up in the several lawsuits she’s been slapped with.

So many publications have turned the tide, no longer speaking on you and your situation with an almost judgmental stance but rather just reposting the Live and letting the facts speak for themselves.

And social media…..holy shit.

One thing you never expected was for the Live to go viral, but you especially never expected for yourself to also go viral in a different way, that is.

While the general public was initially against you, bashing you every which way to Sunday, it’s almost completely turned with the vast majority now utterly and wholly intrigued with you. They’ve dug up old headshots from when you cheered in college, clips of you either practicing or competing, and a few Snap videos you were in, again, all during your college years.

Not to mention the clips they took from the Live, primarily of you playfully twerking with Jadah. That clipped with the TikToks you did with Naomi has resulted in people making TikToks and “edits,” as Alexis explained, posting and sharing everywhere.

Apparently, the vast majority of social media finds you extremely attractive, and have even been comparing you to the infamous prison bae, Jeremy Meeks, from way back when. Minus the criminal aspects, of course.

“Look at this one! These are my favorite.” Alexis turns her phone so the group of you can see what is yet another edit of you, err, more so your ass than anything to good googly moogly by Project Pat, which apparently was already going viral on TikTok as people post videos of friends and loved ones with a nice ass. Seems you’ve been added to that group.

“I don’t get the fascination,” you admit with a shake of your hand, fingers tapping against your glass of lemonade. “Like, I’m not even famous.”

“You kinda are now,” Bianca suggests. It's a crazy suggestion, too, because in what world does someone like you, from a small ass town with virtually no major social media footprint, qualify as famous. “Not like, A-List celeb famous, but you don’t make it to the Shade Room if you’re not at least kinda famous.”

Alexis makes a sound, adding, “ya’ll whole lil situation made the March event on their calendar.”

“On their what?” Jadah is understandably confused, asking, “what the hell does that even mean?”

“Twin, I’m gonna need to make a PowerPoint for you or something.”

“Please do, and make sure to add the fancy transitions.”

“Custom slide backgrounds?”

“You know the key to my heart.”

The meeting and union of Jadah and Alexis remains to be seen as one of the worst or best things you could have ever done. They’re so damn similar it felt almost criminal to not introduce them, but with both having such strong personalities, a clash could be one of the titans. So far, however, they’re vibing just as well as you and Jadah have. Hence why all of these ladies are sitting around your coffee table, various drinks in hand, most alcoholic, except for yours of course.

Which reminds you…

“Oh shit,” you announce, four sets of eyes falling on you as you realize you haven’t shared the news with the majority of them, ironically, Jadah being the only one to know. “I haven’t had a chance to ask.”

You decide to be dramatic as hell, pausing as Alexis is the first to say, impatiently, “ask what, hoe?”

Another pause followed by an intentional rub of your belly as you nonchalantly ask, “which one of ya’ll wants to be in charge of planning the baby shower?”

You’re met with instant screams and squeals of enjoyment, a big smile falling on your face as you’re hit with all of the questions and exclamations.

“I knew it! I knew it was just a matter of time before BDJ struck again!”

“Y/N! Oh my goodness, congratulations!”

“No freaking way! That’s amazing!”

“I’m gonna act like I didn’t already know, so congratulations, great value sister wife!”

Alexis and Jadah’s statements make you laugh while Bianca and Kaylah’s cause your heart to swell. You then try to quiet them down, “thank you, guys. We’re excited. But, we haven’t told Callie yet, so please keep it to yourselves.”

“Of course.” Kaylah excitedly asks, “how far along are you?”

“Almost three months,” you answer, proudly. Although entirely unexpected, or maybe not depending on how you look at it, you’ve found your excitement at this pregnancy growing every single day. Excitement at having another child, giving Callie the chance to be a big sister, to give Joe the opportunity to experience this pregnancy with you from conception to birth and beyond. He deserves it, especially now that you know what he went through with Jadah.

“Wait. Damn. This means we can’t have a hot girl summer until next year!” Alexis is pouting as she downs the rest of her drink before reaching for the bottle to get a refill. “You couldn’t let that nigga shoot up the club later this fall instead.”

Kaylah’s nose turns up as she also takes a sip of her moscato but not before muttering, “didn’t need that visual.”

Rolling your eyes, you point out, “Alexis, we are too damn old to be having a hot girl summer. Half of us are moms and/or in relationships except your non-committal ass.”

Non-committal has nothing to do with the topic that floats to the front of your mind, but having a room full of women to consult with seems like a perfect opportunity to discuss something that’s still bothering you to some extent.

“Let me ask ya’ll something.” You take a sip of your sparkling apple cider and get to explaining. “So, every time I try to talk to Joe about planning for when the baby gets here, like having my mom or his mom come stay with us a bit to help out when he’s on the road, he either ignores me, changes the subject, or just pacifies me. And I’m trying really hard not to cuss him out, but between baby emotions and me being me, it’s hard.”

Being perceptive is always something you’ve prided yourself on, valued as one of your attributes, so it’s hard not to miss when Kaylah, Alexis, and even Jadah all look suddenly uncomfortable with your question, like they also want to change the subject.

Bianca is the first and only to speak out.

“Yeah, that’s kind of weird.” Her agreement is the quintessential example of validation you were needing for this situation. “I get you’re barely three months, but why not start with the plans now? The sooner the better since it seems like his schedule is pretty hectic.”

Throwing your hands up in the air, you echo her sentiments. “Exactly! And one thing to know about me, which I know he has to know about me is that I like to plan. I hate surprises. We need to start figuring out this shit now.”

“I’d definitely talk to him about it, cause men can be very go with the flow, but this isn’t one of those things that I think should be go with the flow.”

“I feel like you should maybe just wait it out and see where the cards fall.” Kaylah’s suggestion is casual, but her eye contact is sparse, and you actually don’t know what to make of that.

Jadah contributes to the conversation with agreement to Kaylah’s point. “I agree. Trust your man, whore.”

“But—” And as if present and overhearing said conversation, your phone starts to ring, the man himself filling up your lock screen. “Speaking of the devil…..” You lift and show your phone to the group. “I gotta take this ya’ll.”

“Well, duh.” Alexis says like it’s a no brainer. “BDJ probably won’t stop calling until you pick up anyway.”

Laughing, you untangle your legs and climb off the sofa at the same time you answer his FaceTime, quickly telling him, “hold on.”

“I’ll be back,” you inform, but the last thing you hear is Bianca making the awful mistake of asking Alexis what “BDJ” stands for. Alexis and Jadah start to laugh.

Obviously, Jadah also knows what’s up.

Locking the door behind you, you sit down on the patio set that was delivered only two days prior and situate your phone on the accompanying table. Legs crossed, you give him the go, “okay, i’m good now. Just wanted some privacy.”

He doesn’t hesitate to slide right into protective papa bear mode. “How you feeling?”

“Alright.” Your hand unintentionally lands on your stomach as you explain, “had some nausea this morning, but that’s not out of the norm. I had pretty bad morning sickness when I was pregnant with Callie the first few months.”

You can tell he’s not entirely satisfied with this answer, leaning more on the concerned and conservative side. “When’s your next checkup?”

“April 8th. I made sure to schedule it so you can be there.” Joe indicated he wanted the first Monday after WrestleMania to be a day of rest for you and Callie, and it can still be, but you also couldn’t miss the opportunity for him to be a part of your first official well-baby visit. Especially with this being the first time you’ll be able to hear the baby’s heartbeat.

That must especially be special for him.

“I promise I’m okay, Joe.” Out of respect for him and his emotional state at such an important time in his life, you haven’t told him everything Jadah shared with you. Haven’t made him aware of your knowledge regarding his loss. You’re not sure if you ever will, to be honest. If he wishes to discuss that with you, you’ll always be there to listen and support. But, there’s zero desire to dig up painful memories and trigger this man.

That doesn’t, however, mean you can’t reassure him when you can see there’s a level of anxiety and apprehension.

“If I wasn’t, you and Dr. Young would be the first to know.” It’s a promise. You would never do anything to risk unnecessary complications with this pregnancy. “How do you feel? You look tired.”

He’s looked as such for the past couple weeks, and you feel slightly bad, knowing the whole Mariah ordeal must have taken a toll on him. Not to mention his intense training and preparation for WrestleMania.

Of course, he just shrugs, playing it off. “I’m good.” You make a knowing sound. “What?”

“Seriously, Joe. This is me. I know you like the back of my hand. You’re exhausted. It’s okay to admit as such.”

“I’m fine, Y/N. I promise.”

Joe is every bit stubborn as he is caring. He won’t agree with you, but that doesn’t make what you’re saying any less true.

“Whatever, just know I’m giving you a well deserved massage when we come to see you next week.” Coyly, you imply with a shrug of your shoulder. “And maybe a lil’ more depending on the layout of your place and if we can get some privacy from your lil’ twin.”

“Naw, that lil more is happening no matter what, even if I have to fuck you in the rental.”

His tone of surety makes you laugh as you think about something. “I don’t think we’ve ever fucked in a car before.” The list of places this man has been balls deep in you is endless, but a vehicle and plane seem to have not made the list. Yet. “Might have to change that.”

He also laughs. “Wherever you want it, baby, you just gotta tell me when and how.” Just more and more reasons to love this man to infinity and beyond. He matches your freak so well.

Joe asks about Callie, of course, and you let him know she’s in seven heaven playing with her cousin in her new room that’s gradually filling up even though she still doesn’t even have all of her stuff from back in your apartment. It also goes without saying that you remind him she’s absolutely thrilled to see him soon, the same as you, which is the same as him. Reunions between the three of you are just all around enjoyable.

Naturally, Joe apologizes, for no good reason, at not being able to come with you as you take Callie back to your hometown for your final apartment walkthrough and to close all other matters, officially making your move to Florida complete. It’s a bit of a bittersweet thing, leaving the place you grew up and have so many memories in. However, what’s ahead of you is so much better than what’s behind you.

And while you would love Joe to be able to come too, it’s also not necessary.

Especially when he finds out what else is on your agenda before you say goodbye for good.

Realizing your time with him could be cut at any moment, you decide it’s now or never to break the news to him. “There’s something I need to tell you, and I know right off the bat, you’re not going to be in agreement, but I need you to just hear me out.”

He’s hesitant and already skeptical but nods. “I’m listening.”

A deep breath followed by a quick prayer to the big man that Joe will at least try to be open to this plan. “I’m gonna go see my dad while I’m there.”

This is something you’ve really been thinking about, on and off, since the Christmas ordeal. It just hasn’t been such a major priority given all the other fires you’ve been having to put out. Alexis was right when she said the dynamic with your dad has a lot to do with the situation with Joe and not telling him about Callie.

And you being able to acknowledge that has made you realize you’ve been holding onto a lot of pain and anger towards that man. More pain than anything. And it’s time to let it go. The same way you’re leaving that town for good, albeit bittersweet, you need to drop the baggage of hurt at the door before the curtain closes permanently.

In this case, that means sitting in front of the man who is your biological father and nothing more, speaking your peace, and closing that chapter.

For good.

To some extent, you expected, maybe more so hoped, for Joe to be more receptive.

It was wishful thinking, at best.

Immediately, he protests, face turned up in a scowl that reminds you of Callie when she’s in one of her moods. “Like hell you—”

Closing your eyes, you do your best to keep your voice leveled. “Hear me out, please.”

“Y/N, do you not remember the last time you saw that man?” Most definitely do you remember. That was definitely a low moment for you. “You were a fucking wreck. I’m not seeing you go through that again, especially with you being pregnant.”

“Do you really think if I had even an inkling it wouldn’t be safe for our baby I’d be doing it? Come on, Joe. You know me. I would never put either of our children in harm's way.” And you know he knows this, knows this very well, but you can also understand his anxiety from a couple different angles. “Before when I saw him, I was still looking for his love and approval. I can admit that now.” It’s been a tough pill to swallow, going back and forth between emotion and logic, coming to grips with such an uncomfortable truth. “I don’t need that anymore. I don’t even want it. I have you. I have Callie. My mom. Our friends. Even this new baby, but if I’m leaving that town for good, I need to leave all of the hurt it brought me there too. That includes making my peace with him.”

When he still doesn't say anything, you continue to plead your case.

“I need to do this, Joe. I’m not asking you to understand.” You’re not quite sure he could. This is one of those things that unless you’ve lived it, lived with a neglectful, uninvolved parent, you just couldn’t get it. “I’m just asking you to trust me.”

He’s quiet for a few minutes, and you already know it’s because he’s sitting on your words, doing his best to meet you where you are. Eventually, he says in a resigned voice, “I don’t want you going alone.”

There’s an immense amount of gratitude for his blessing, and his request is more than fair. You also figured as such, assuring him, “I already talked with Bianca about it. She’s gonna go with me.”

This seems to make him feel at least a little bit better. He scratches his beard. “Alright. But the minute you start feeling off—”

“I’ll cut it off. I know.” That goes without saying. You meant what you said. Nothing could make you put your baby at risk. “Thank you, Joe.”

Not wanting this to be the last topic you discuss, you switch gears a bit to something that will hopefully lessen his unease. “I also think we should tell Callie when we come to see you next week. I just told the girls today, and I’m gonna tell my mom while I’m there. Callie deserves to know.” The order of which you’ve told people about your pregnancy isn’t exactly how you would have preferred it to go. In a perfect world, it would have been Joe, Calllie, your mom, and then your close friends. But, life be lifing, so you just have to roll with it as best you can.

Joe nods. “I agree.” You overhear a distant voice in the background before his gaze falls on you. “I gotta go, babe.”

It’s hard not to feel disappointed. “I get it.” This pregnancy has your emotions a bit on the high, sensitive end, because there’s no reason for you to feel like crying just because this man has to get back to work. You miss him like crazy, sure, but this has always been a bit of the dynamic. You get him in doses, sometimes big, sometimes small. “Can we still call you tonight? You know Callie can’t sleep unless she can tell both of us goodnight.”

It’s such a twist, a beautiful, unexpected thing. Once upon a time, it was just you she needed to see and/or speak to before she could fall asleep. But now, it’s both you and Joe, and you honestly couldn't love that more.

Their relationship and bond is so precious to you.

And now that you understand what Joe’s been through, you can see why he’s always willing to move heaven and earth for her. She’s the little girl he’s always wanted and finally has.

“Of course.” You weren’t expecting any other answer. “I love you.”

A warm smile sets on your face. “I love you too, baby.”

You settle on a time that works best for him and end the call. Ignoring the sadness at not being able to talk to him further, you walk back in the house for a sure pick-me-up.

“Well, it’s about time,” Bianca teases, dimples nice and pronounced. “Thought we were gonna have to check on ya’ll.”

“No, she’s back too early….” Alexis, as per usual, confuses you when she asks, “ya’ll weren’t having phone sex?” She curses and then grabs her purse, digging out her wallet, slapping a wad of cash into Jadah’s expecting hand.

“Told you,” Jadah says knowingly, smirk on her pretty face as she counts the cash. “One thing I do know about Joe is he’s an all out type of man. It’s rounds or nothing.” She then looks over at you, apologizing, “hope that doesn’t make you uncomfortable.”

“It doesn’t.” It’s an honest answer. You’re old, mature, and secure enough to acknowledge and be okay with the fact your man has been with her in almost every way he’s probably been with you. Outside of the emotional connection component, which is really what matters the most to you. Sex would just be sex if you didn’t love him as much as you do. If he didn’t love you as much as he does. That’s what makes it so explosive.

“Well, it bothers me!” Kaylah looks so disgusted, and you can’t blame her. “Joe is literally like my brother!”

Bianca cosigns with a shake of her head. “And it bothers me because Y/N literally is my sister.”

“That’s so wild, so ya’ll are half sisters, right?” Jadah asks, pointing between the two of you as you move back onto the sofa. “Same mom or…..”

“No, same dad, but we don’t claim him.”

Jadah makes an ‘O’ with her mouth as Alexis leans over to whisper something in her ear. “Got it. Daddy issues. Ya’ll should just jump him then.”

“That’s what I said! Stomp his ole’ mean ass.”

Yeah…..putting Alexis and Jadah together may have created a new kind of threat to society.

“Anyway.” Refocusing them is really the best and only option. “As we were discussing, ya’ll think I should bring it up to Joe when we fly there next week?” You then remember the pact mentality and aim your question toward Bianca. “Let me just ask you, cause you seem to be the only one who gets where I’m coming from.”

At that, Bianca opens and closes her mouth. “Oh. That. I…..I think you should just leave it alone. I’m sure Joe has his reasons.”

Now it’s your turn to look shocked. “What? That’s not what you said literally not even 10 minutes ago.”

Bianca switching up on you definitely wasn’t in the cards, especially since she was providing you all the affirmation and validation you were seeking in your dilemma.

She looks off, almost in a guilty, sheepish way. “I changed my mind….”

“What did ya’ll say to her?” It’s directed toward Alexis and and even Jadah, because Kaylah doesn’t seem like the type to try to sway people one way or the other. “Can’t leave ya’ll asses alone for two minutes.”

“I don’t like your tone, Mama Mia. Watch it.” Alexis warns, and you can only roll your eyes. “What you need to be focused on is what you’re gonna wear to the Hall of Fame and WrestleMania.”

Kaylah gasps, also remembering. “Shit, I completely forgot about that.”

Your eyes land on her with premature excitement. “You’re going to the awards too?” She nods and you let out a big sigh of relief. “Oh thank god, I was kinda nervous. I’m sure Trinity is going too, but the more the merrier, I feel like I’m gonna be so out of place there or everyone’s going to hate me.”

“Girl, like Joe is going to let that happen.” Jadah is, surprisingly, the first one to jump to calm your nerves. “Him taking you in and of itself is such a ‘fuck you’ move. He really said ya’ll not about to bully the woman I love and think I’m finna just keep her on the backburner.”

“I agree.” Kaylah chimes, providing additional and useful context. “The internet wrestling community is a cesspool, and they’ll always find some reason to complain and bitch, but Joe has never been about that. He’s gonna have you on his arm regardless of who has something to say about it.”

“Ummmm, why are we acting like majority of the internet isn’t all on Y/N’s dick now that ya’ll cleared up the air?” Alexis lifts her phone, adding, “I literally can’t get on TikTok or Twitter without seeing edits and photos of Y/N that the internet has dug up. They can’t get enough of her.”

“Her ass, specifically,” Jadah adds, and you shake your head.

“I think what they’re trying to say is that maybe you should redirect your focus on fashion and hair choices vs public perception, because it seems to be in your favor currently.” Bianca’s advice is wise and on time. It also is very much giving off teacher vibes, just another thing you two can connect on.

You’re really happy you asked her to come visit you.

That you gave her a chance.

It’s proving to be a really good decision.

“Well, I’m gonna have my mom do my silk press while I’m there, so there’s that.” Typically, you avoid heat like the plague, sucking up the pain in the ass wash days to keep your curls hydrated and thriving. However, you’re okay with every now and then sitting in that damn chair for what feels like, and is, hours for these special occasions. And attending the Hall of Fame awards as well as WrestleMania definitely constitutes a special moment. “As far as fashion…..I have no idea. I don’t really have a lot of fancy clothes, and the ones I do have are before Callie and even now with the weight I’ve gained from this pregnancy already, I don’t know if I can still wear them.”

“Well then it’s obvious what we need to do.” Alexis says with a ‘duh’ tone. “We need to go find you some dresses! Like, today.”

“I probably do need to pick up something too.” Kaylah says with a heavy sigh. “I think Josh said something about wearing red.”

“Of course you have to wear red. That’s Bloodline colors.”

You chuckle at Bianca’s enthusiasm. It’s kinda cool that she’s also into wrestling. You’re so tempted to ask Joe if he can get tickets for her, Darius, and Taylor, but you also don’t want to do too much. It already means a lot to you that he got tickets for your mom and Alexis.

“I hate to pull the girls from their playing. They must be having a blast considering not one has come down in like over an hour.” It’s true. Not to mention you can also occasionally hear the chorus of giggles and shouting indicating just how great a time they’re having.

“I can watch them for ya’ll.”Jadah’s suggestion causes all sets of eyes to land on her. She rolls her eyes. “You all go get the shopping done, and I’ll stay here with the kids.”

“Jadah, you don’t have to—”

“I don’t mind. I’m not really that big on shopping anyway.” Finally. A difference between her and Alexis. “Plus, I have some client stuff I can get caught up with.”

You’re still reluctant, offering her another out. “If you’re sure….”

“Y/N, I would hope by now you’ve figured out I’m too blunt to lie. I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t want to.” Jadah shrugs, directing her next statement to Kaylah and Bianca. “If you’re also good with it too, of course.”

Bianca and Kaylah echo agreement with you, hence it being decided.

With a chuckle, you announce, “I guess we’re going shopping.”

———-

Things have been hard since you first landed back in your hometown.

Saying goodbye to your students was hard.

Saying goodbye to friends in town has been hard.

Bidding farewell to the apartment you first brought your sweet little girl home to after she was born was very hard.

Visiting your grandma’s grave one last time for who knows how long…..that’ll be brutal.

But this….confronting your father for the last time…

To say you’re a bit on the anxious side is putting it nicely.

This was always going to be on the nerve inducing side for a variety of good and valid reasons. It’s just getting to the moment where it happens, where you sit in the parking lot of the restaurant he agreed to meet “you” at is just bringing out some indecision you’re certain comes from a place of anxiety.

Finally stepping out of the car, you and Bianca reach the door of the restaurant when she turns to you, mouth turned into a bit of a frown as she reminds, “you sure you want to do this?”

“It’s not about what I want to do. It’s about what I need to do, Bianca.” It’s the truth. This isn’t something you’ve been dying to have happen your entire life, but for the sake of your healing, it’s what needs to happen. “But, if you feel uncomfortable, I totally get—”

“Not at all.” She reaches for your hand. “You’ve got this.”

A deep breath followed by a head nod as you accept her hand. She gives you a little squeeze and opens the door, leading the way figuratively and literally. As expected, he’s already there and waiting, sitting near the back of the restaurant. You’re not surprised a man like him is right on time. He seems like the punctual bastard type.

And Bianca has reiterated as such before.

Together, you walk hand in hand towards him. Your eyes never leave him, watching as he lights up with a genuine smile at seeing Bianca, but that smile almost instantly drops when he sets his gaze on you.

Expected.

Wholly expected.

Immediately, his nose is turned up in visible disgust, primarily directed toward you. “Bianca, what is the meaning of this?”

“What?” Her voice is full of nonchalance as is the expression on her face. “I told you your daughter wanted to speak with you.”

He just didn’t know which daughter.

There’s no denying or misunderstanding his anger at the subterfuge. He shoots up from the table. “I’m not putting up with—”

Bianca is quick with it, assertively informing him, “if you want even a chance of seeing Taylor again, you’re gonna sit right back down and hear her out.” It means the world to you that not only has Bianca agreed to be here with you today, but it’s the fact that she’s willing to be so loyal to you.

Like a sister.

Because she is your sister.

He scoffs almost immediately. “Using my grandchild to blackmail me? That’s low, Bianca. Your mother and I raised you better than that.”

She crosses her arms and matches his energy. “You are the last person that needs to be talking about raising anyone.” She then looks at you, placing a comforting hand on your arm. “I’ll be right over there if you need me, okay?”

Nodding, she gives you one last supportive squeeze and ignores her father to walk over and slide into a booth across the room.

Left alone, you watch him begrudgingly sit down so he’s across from you, same set of brown eyes locking. It kills you how much of yourself you can see in him, starting with the same set of eyes. You just have to remind yourself that that’s where the similarities end.

“This won’t take long, which I’m sure you’ll be happy to hear.” He doesn’t agree nor disagree, not that it makes much of a difference to you. At all. “I’m moving from this town. Tomorrow’s the day I hand over my keys, and I’ll officially be living in Florida full time. Not that you care, because we both know you never have and never will give a flying fuck about me.”

“Is there a point to this?” The edge in his voice, maybe even a couple months ago, might have killed you. Stolen your joy. Now, it does nothing. He no longer has that power over you, because you’ve taken that power back.

And it feels so damn good.

“I did it, you know.” Without giving him a chance, if he even would, to respond, you continue. “I made something of myself. I’m successful. I have a career. I found love all without you ever doing a goddamn thing for me.”

For a second, you swear you see a different emotion flash in his familiar irises, but it’s gone almost instantly, replaced with that permanent disdain you refuse to allow sway you from your goal.

“I have a man who loves me in every single healthy way that exists, who loves our daughter more than there are words in all the languages put together.” Emotion chokes you up, but you manage to stick with the mental points you made for this conversation. “And you wanna know something? We conceived her when he was still married.”

Leaning forward as you lower your voice, both for privacy and emotionality. “But, I didn’t tell him. I deprived him and our little girl for the first almost five years of her life because I was so scared that he was going to be like you, that he was going to reject her and hurt her the way you hurt me.”

It’s a bit painful for you to verbalize those words, but also so damn liberating to free them from the confines of your subconscious.

To also release those shackles they had on you.

“But, I was so so so wrong, because he is the best damn dad she could have asked for, and he was angry with me for not telling him about her. He wanted to be in her life. He wanted her. And it’s through that I finally realized something.”

Your voice cracks as you finally release your truth and acknowledge freedom from over 30 years of emotional bondage.

“I’ve finally realized after all these years that it’s not that I’m not good enough for you.” You shake your head, pointing at him with all the intention and determination you can muster up. “You’re not good enough for me. Not good enough to be my dad. Definitely not good enough to be a grandfather to my kids. Not good enough to be in my life.” There isn’t an ounce of hesitation or a stutter in your voice. “It’s not that I don’t deserve to be in your life. You don’t deserve to be in mine. You never did, and you never will.”

And never again will you seek out that love and validation from him. You don’t need it.

You never did.

“I actually feel sorry for you, because I am an amazing, strong black woman who was raised by an even more amazing, strong black woman who was also raised by a phenomenal black woman. And my daughter….” Just thinking about Callie, her warm smile and the great big hug she gave you, before you and Bianca left her and Taylor with your mom, makes you all choked up again. “—is the kindest, sweetest, smartest kid you could ever meet. But as long as there is breath in my body, you will not know her or any other kids I bring into this world.”

That’s a promise, an oath, a swear on everything that you love and hold dear.

“After today, you are dead to me, and I truly hope you one day see all that you missed out on, but I’m not going to wait around for that. I’m going to spend the rest of my life surrounded with love and family because that’s what I deserve.” Grabbing your purse and sliding out the booth, you make eye contact with Bianca who starts to head over. “Take care, Captain Wilson.”

As soon as she’s at your side, he shoots up from the booth. “Bianca, if you leave with that girl—”

“That woman,” Bianca corrects with all the sharpness. “You mean my sister?”

His lips turn up with a hateful snarl. “This hoodrat trash is not your sister.”

You actually laugh at his words, laugh at the fact that he’s truly so pathetic and a piece of shit he couldn’t even take any of what you just said to heart. It also makes you wonder if he’s aware of all the shit that’s been happening online regarding you. Not that it makes a difference.

It’s just something else he would try to use to justify not being in your life.

Like a coward.

“No.” She lifts her chin, taking your hand. “She is my sister, but you?” Bianca shakes her head, and you can hear the emotion catch in her voice. “You’re not my father. You’re the trash.”

If he offers a visible response to her harsh words, you’ll never know because Bianca tugs on your hand, directing the both of you to turn around as she marches you out the restaurant. Once out of the vicinity, she spins you around and brings you in for a big, loving hug.

“I’m so damn proud of you.” Eyes closing, you accept and lean into her embrace. You’re also insanely proud of you. “You said what you had to say. The ball is in his court now.”

“I highly doubt he’s gonna do anything with it.” Separating, you again thank her. “I really appreciate you being here with me today. I’m not sure Joe would have been okay with me doing this, if you weren’t here.”

She smirks, head tilted to the side. “Nowhere else I’d rather be, hun.”

It’s the truth. Along with the fact that you’re not even sure you would and even could have gone through with this if not for her assistance and support. It’s crazy how the people you’ve met in recent months have become such important figures in your life and the people you thought were important are now strangers.

Life….always a wild ride, for sure.

“And speaking of Joe….” She’s understandably confused as you casually throw out, “guess who’s going to WrestleMania with her little sister?”

Bianca’s eyes are as wide as saucers. “Seriously?” Laughing, you nod. “Oh my god—” She captures you in another big hug, the two of you nearly hopping like damn teenagers. “Wait, just me or—”

“Of course not. Taylor and Darius too. I feel like he might divorce your ass if you tried to go without him.”

“You’re not entirely wrong.” Her laughter lessens as she looks at you with admiration and appreciation. “You really didn’t have to do that, Y/N.”

“It wasn’t that big a deal.” And it wasn’t. After biting the bullet and pushing aside unnecessary anxiety, you just shot Joe a text asking if there was any way Bianca and her family could attend Mania. His response was an almost instant yes. “Besides….we’re sisters.” Your eyes begin to water as you give a one shoulder shrug. “We look out for each other.”

Her smile matches the emotionality of this moment. “You’re damn right we do.” Sniffling, she wipes her eyes and then gasps. “Shit, now I need to find a dress. Does this town have any stores where I could maybe find something?”

Her question is so laughable. “Not really, sis. Let’s just wait till we fly home. I’m sure we could find you something there. Maybe the boutique where I got my dresses."

Home…..

You’re not sure if you’ve referred to Florida as home prior to this moment, but it feels so good, so right. Like it’s where you’re supposed to be. Where you were always supposed to be.

Home with your daughter, with your man, with the baby growing inside you.

With your family.

#roman reigns x black!reader #roman reigns x black!oc #roman reigns fic #roman reigns #arisnotebook

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greynatomy · 11 months

Text

luck of the irish

katie mccabe x reader

i’m having sm trouble writing rn that i feel like i’m just rambling when writing at this point. hope it makes sense for y’all

part 2 part 3

———

“Come on. Please. For me?” You ask the two people on a video call with you

Your best friends, Selena and Taylor, and you are having a virtual hangout, seeing as you all live in different places.

“What’s in it for us?” Selena asks, taking a sip of her wine.

“Absolutely nothing, but you get to go to England.”

“And what are we gonna do? Sit and watch you ogle your girlfriend for like two hours.”

“Exactly.”

“Stop teasing me. You can’t hardly blame me though, my girlfriend is hot. And y’all are just bitter that you’re single.”

“Hey! I’m not anymore.”

“Shocker!” You say sarcastically. “You’ve been going to your boyfriend’s games so much and brought us with you, now it’s my turn.”

“Sel, you need to get yourself an athlete.”

“I know.” She whines, extending the ‘o’. “You guys need to set me up with someone.

“You might catch the eyes of some footballers if you come here.”

“We’re gonna be in so many news headlines.”

“Just gotta make sure we don’t look stupid in them.”

———

The Arsenal Women’s team are all on the pitch, warming up for their match. All of a sudden, the crowd throughout the stadium starts cheering, confusing all the players and staff on the pitch.

Looking all around, the crowd is watching the big screen. There you are, with your two best friends, all completely oblivious to what’s happening. The three of you were too preoccupied doing the marshmallow game to notice all the eyes on you. Well, to be fair, you all grew up with eyes always on you that you all learned to block it out.

“Stop fucking it up Taylor. You’re like the whole music industry, where’s the rhythm?”

“Fuck you! I don’t have to listen to you. You’re not my Mom.”

“Okay! Let’s just try it again okay?”

“I’ll start. One marshmallow.”

“Check it out.”

“Woo.”

Down on the field, Katie watches the big screen, not being able to stop the huge grin of amusement on her face.

“Dude! There’s no way that’s actually Y/N Y/LN, Selena Gomez and Taylor Swift.”

“I mean, if you open your eyes you would see that it actually is.” Caitlin shoves Katie away because of her sarcastic response.

———

Nothing really happens for the first half, but as soon as the second half starts, Arsenal in playing like they’ve got some fresh pairs of legs on them.

“Now I understand why people watch sports.” Taylor says loudly.

“Dates an athlete and is now obsessed with sports.”

“Oh, shut up.”

“But seriously. I’ve never watched a sport on my life until I met Katie. And it’s a plus she looks hot doing it.”

———

We’ve got McCabe, Katie McCabe I just don’t think you understand she plays out on the wing, she hits it with a zing we’ve got Katie McCabe

You started chanting with all the fans, encouraging your friends to join in.

“C’mon guys! Just like I taught you!”

———

Arsenal eventually won from a banger from McCabe, who was now getting interviewed.

“Katie, good game today. You scored the game winning shot, how’d that feel?”

“Oh, em, I was just doing what I usually do. But I’ve actually got my girlfriend here, so I had to put on a bit of a show for her.”

“Oh! Wow! Well, thank you for your time Katie.” The reporter says a bit shocked at the news.

Katie walks into the locker room, everyone is just sat at their cubby, cooking down from the match, when a knock is heard from the door.

“You girls decent?” Jonas’ voice comes through the door.

“Yeah!”

“Alright, well, we’ve got some guests that would love to meet you all.”

You, Taylor and Selena walk through the door being met by the whole team. The team fan girls for a bit, the team’s social media videographer catching it all on camera.

After greeting everyone, you walk over to where Katie is still sat in her cubby and place yourself on her lap, her arms immediately wrapping around your waist.

Her teammates are too preoccupied with Selena and Taylor to notice the two of you, but both your friends know you like to wander off, instantly noticing you weren’t next to them anymore.

Looking around, she sees you with your girlfriend whispering in her ear that has her biting her lip.

“Oh my god! Stop flirting in front of other people please!” Taylor speaks out, grabbing the attention of everyone in the room.

“You’re just mad cause your man who’s not your man is off playing fake football and not with you.”

“Oh, she got you there.” Selena laughs at Taylor’s offended face, giving you a high five.

“We’re no longer friends.” Taylor pouts, crossing her arms across her chest.

“You’ll get over it cause you love me.” You wrap her in a hug, Selena joining in. “Okay, enough of that. Can we all take a group picture?” You ask the Gunners. “I’ve gotta cook dinner.”

After the photo, the three of you bid farewell to the team, you giving Katie a quick kiss and a ‘see you later.’

“Actually, can I go with you? I’ll just shower at home.” Katie asks, packing her things.

“C’mon. Bye guys!” You wave at everyone.

“See you soon!” Katie leaves after you.

The team was silent for a bit after the four of you left, not knowing how to process that their Irish teammate has a girlfriend and who her girlfriend is.

“That was unexpected.”

“Indeed.”

“How’d Katie get a girl like her?” Beth asks, not quite understanding.

“It’s probably the luck the Irish have.”

“And Y/N is her pot of gold.”

“Damn.”

#woso x reader #greynatomy #woso #woso imagines #woso imagine #katie mccabe #katie mccabe x reader #katie mccard

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idkwhatever580 · 5 months

Text

Her pt. 2

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff x reader

Prompt: after y/n gets rescued what is in store in the next chapter of her life with Natasha?

Warnings: cursing

Pronouns: she/her

A/N: I’m super excited about this one. Make sure you read chapter one first so you have some insight on how nat and y/n met!!! I hope y’all like it :)))

Here’s part one :))) I’m working on a master list I swear -> https://www.tumblr.com/idkwhatever580/749750524015984640/her-pt-1

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/n’s pov

I cannot believe it’s been a whole year since I met Natasha.

She and the avengers immediately took me in and I found myself going over to the compound much more than I expected.

I still have my house in Long Island. But I never stay there really anymore. Ever since Natasha and I started dating I haven’t spent too much time there.

It only took three months for me to virtually move in with her. Although I do wish she’d come with me sometimes.

But I don’t really worry about that since one of the floors in the tower is my new soup kitchen. It’s open twenty four hours a day and there are at least 2-6 people working there at all times.

As promised Tony Stark and SHEILD helped me get my business up and running.

I make homes for the homeless. Sometimes they are bigger more communal homes and sometimes they are tiny one or two person homes.

My first two homes are side by side. They were for gran and pops. They were always my biggest supporters and still are.

My program has changed so many lives. There are so many people out there who just need a little bit of love.

Sometimes the homeless people will use the homes as a forever home but most often they get jobs. Become more financially stable and independent and then they will move out. It’s really great. Because I see so many people I’ve helped become something. Someone.

There are so many who have told me they thought they would never amount to anything. And a few of them have become very successful even as far as becoming a CEO.

I am incredibly proud of my work.

And honestly it’s so exciting to see what changes I can make every single day.

For example. Today is the release date of my nationwide program.

All over the country a program is being launched where homeless people can find shelter, rehabilitation centers, and other necessities for free so they can have a second chance at life. I am doing some interviews today.

Unfortunately Natasha isn’t here. She has a mission. I’m a little sad that she won’t be with me tonight as the program launches but the show must go on.

I check my watch and see it is time to leave for the opening ceremony and I go downstairs to find Happy.

I smile and say

“What’s up Happy! Are you ready?”

He smiles sadly and says

“Yes I am ready. But I must inform you that I am only your chauffeur tonight. Unfortunately I cannot be your plus one.”

I frown when he says this because he was supposed to fill in for Natasha and now I have nobody.

“Oh. Well. That’s okay!”

I smile and cover up my disappointment. He drives me to the red carpet and helps me out. I kiss his cheek accidentally leaving a lipstick stain and I say

“Thank you. Have a good night Happy.”

He usually goes home and I have a different driver drive me home.

I walk to the red carpet by myself and put on my best smile. I make it about halfway through the carpet and an arm snakes around me and this mystery person says

“Am I late?”

“Oh!”

I jump and put my hand to my chest and I look at my beautiful girlfriend with a huge smile on my face and I say

“Jesus! You scared me!”

My brain doesn’t even register that she’s back since I’m in the zone and then I do a double take and say

“Wait! What!?”

She giggles when I realize and I slap her chest and say

“I thought you were at a mission?!”

She chuckles and says.

“I got off early enough to make it. That’s why Happy isn’t here with you. I tried my best. But I couldn’t get the best suit”

She looks down at her suit and I look her up and down and say

“You look amazing baby. Perfect right here with me.”

I smile and give her a kiss. We always wear matching lipstick colors so that we can kiss and not get it messed up.

Then I put my hand on her chest and we keep taking pictures.

The rest of the night goes smoothly and I give a speech. I talk to a few people who have helped my journey and then we head home.

I get changed and wait in bed for Natasha. She takes a while so I complain

“Nattyyy”

She comes out of the bathroom and smiles and says

“Yes baby?”

I hold my arms out for her and pout

“I missed you”

She gets into bed with me and says

“I missed you too.”

Once we’re comfy she looks me in the eyes and says

“Goodnight my love. You have done such amazing things for so many people and I am so lucky to be yours.”

I smile and say

“I love you baby. Goodnight”

We kiss and drift off into a nice comfortable sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: guys this is so bad. It feels rushed and blah. Idk how I feel about it. I became so unmotivated and just wanted to move on to the next thing but I didn’t want to just leave it. 😭🔫

#avengers #marvel #fanfic #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha x reader

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hobiebrownismygod · 11 months

Text

Interview with the Spider-Band + My OC!

Interviewer: So, what would you say is your favorite Earth besides your own?

Miles: I'd say my favorite's probably Earth-56, Gwen's universe, cuz the colors are really cool and I like how I can see Gwen's emotions so I always know when she's mad or sad or if somethings up with her. The random shapes are kinda distracting though

Gwen: My favorite's definitely Earth-1610, Miles' universe, because he's there I like how everything looks like a sketchbook and how lively everything is. It can be a little suffocating at times but its nice seeing him everyone being so loud and excited

Pavitr: I like everyone's Earths, they're all so cool! Noir's universe is very fun to be in though, because there're no colors and its a bit unsettling but also a fun new environment! I like mine the most though.

Hobie: Pav's universe for me cuz there's none of those pollution clouds and the sky's all clear. Don't have to worry about nun' when I'm on his Earth cuz everyone's all friendly and they like me. The colors are a plus too and the sunsets are beau'iful. I also like Miggy's universe cuz everything's clean and well-kept, but don't like being there when he's 'round.

Margo: I like Miguel's universe cuz its futuristic like mine but not to the point where everyone's virtual yet, which is kind of refreshing compared to mine.

Miles-42: My universe is the best. (He likes Pav's universe cuz everyone's friendly and nobody thinks he's a villain)

Peter B. Parker: Miguel's universe is the safest, so it's where I keep Mayday most of the time when she's bored of our house. There's no villains because of how many Spider-men are stationed there, and it's clean and futuristic.

Spider-Noir: Pavitr's universe is interesting. The vibrant colors make me feel like I'm approaching blindness but I still enjoy it very much. Gwendolyn's universe is also nice, but distracting. I can't keep up with it.

Peni Parker: Miguel's universe because its calming not having any responsibilities in the time you're there. No worries about being attacked.

Spider-ham: All the universes are weird. People instead of animals? Its creepy. But Miles' universe is okay because I've been in it before.

MY OC: Sona-Sheet

Maitreyi Jokhar: I like Hobie's universe.

Interviewer: ...do you have a reason?

Maitreyi: He doesn't mind when I practice on people (cops/fascists) there.

Interviewer: Practice what?

Maitreyi: My skills with a knife.

Interviewer: ok.

Hobie!!

Tags:

@hows-my-handwriting - here's the interview you asked for <3

@s6onder

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dollsome-does-tumblr · 1 year

Text

thinking about the cut funeral scene for the millionth time on this, pink notecard of despair day! under the cut so no one has to witness my rambles. 😘

i've been pondering the story that we got without the scene in, vs. what it would have been if it had stayed. without it, it's basically: roman (rightfully) loses gerri, gerri still cares and we know but roman doesn't know that, roman is left with the bittersweet awareness of what he had and what he lost. (a little fleetwood mac there for ya!)

and then with it in ...

+ i feel like the second gerri walked past roman in 4.03, that was telegraphing that eventually she would comfort him, in the name of narrative parallels and bookends and what have you. so it fulfills that purpose in a satisfying way. (plus, gerri saying "this is fine" when he breaks the firing news to her in 4.03 and then again here. parallels! delicious parallels!)

+ i think in a way it's a healing moment for gerri too, because after spending the whole series quietly observing logan's mistreatment of roman, and being emotionally removed (on the surface anyway), she finally actually does something to outwardly support him. and does something with virtually the biggest audience they have ever had! i just think it is forever so interesting that she was so "this is only professional, this is only professional!" for all of s3 and then when roman is at his lowest, she shows up for him in a way that is not professional at all.

+ i am also very moved by the thought that roman would finally have someone express to him the sentiment "i am done with you professionally, but i still care about you as a person." acknowledging that those are two separate things, and that his value isn't totally wrapped up in who he is in the business. (i remember jsc said something in an interview about thinking that scene was important because it was beyond their differences.) like, after roman has spent the whole season hustling like a terrible beast to honor his dead father and to stay connected with his brother, like totally being consumed by the company was the only way to demonstrate his love, here's someone he loves and thought he lost at the lowest moment of his life going "it's okay, you're okay." to see someone care for him as a person separate from what he can bring and what he can do -- and the person who had the highest, most earnest hopes for him businesswise too! -- is just A Lot. (maybe it hits the Gerri Is The Good And Healing Force In Roman's Life thing too hard and that's why they cut it? too sappy? too positive? too romantic? i don't know!!!) and then he rejects it because it's so painfully far removed from his world view and his conception of himself. (secretly, in my heart of hearts, this is why gerri looks so wistful at what i'll 2013-ishly refer to as the HBIC table at the reception thingie later.)

+ uh they finally would have had some physical contact for the first time in 9 million years and that's extremely important to me. it's not actually related to anything, but it's still essential to my well-being, so i'm making it a bullet! you know everyone (cool) wanted them to touch One Last Time!!!!!! you know that's what the people wanted!!!!

anyway, those are just my paragraphs on why i think it would have been narratively enriching for both characters to keep this scene in! i think it would have done some good character & relationship work and that it would've added some tasty, fulfilling-as-we-near-the-end-of-the-story goodness to the season and the series overall.

i think it would have also made the finale really difficult, because after that interaction we all would have definitely with more confidence expected more to happen between them in it. but also: think about all of roman's reactions to gerri (on video and irl and thinking of her w/ martinis) in a universe where she comforted him at the funeral and he has that recent memory of her! because that's technically what it was when they shot that episode! and also, i'm insane! in short: i will forever carry a great burdensome fangirl sadness in my heart that they took this out.

they also should have kept in the scene of gerri winning at sauna in norway. i will die on this hill. the s4 deleted scene news was truly blow after blow for the gerriheads among us.

#dollsome's deep thoughts #romangerri #roman x gerri

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katenewmanwrites · 2 months

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OC Interview

Thanks for the tag @jev-urisk

Alice Robinson before the start of Treasure Hunt is going to be answering these questions.

Do you have any hobbies? If so, what ones?

I definitely have a few hobbies that keep me busy when I'm not buried in my history books. For starters, I absolutely love exploring the outdoors. Growing up in a small town surrounded by forests, I developed a deep appreciation for nature. Hiking and camping are two of my favorite ways to unwind.

I also enjoy gaming with my friends, Dean, Zach, and Emily. We often get together for gaming nights, exploring virtual worlds and solving in-game mysteries. It’s a great way to bond and have fun, especially when we team up to tackle challenges.

Reading is another passion of mine, particularly historical fiction and adventure novels. They fuel my imagination and often inspire my own adventures. Plus, I love curling up with a good book after a long day of classes.

Be honest. Who could you trust most with a secret?

That's a tough one because I'm really close to my friends, but if I had to pick one person I could trust most with a secret, it would be Dean. We've known each other forever, and he's always been there for me, no matter what. He's reliable, understanding, and has this way of making me feel safe when I share something personal with him. Plus, he knows how to keep things private and respects my privacy, which is super important to me. So yeah, if I had a big secret, Dean would be the first person I'd go to.

Do you dream often? What do you dream about?

I do dream quite often! My dreams are usually pretty vivid. A lot of times, my dreams take me to far off places and times. I'll be in the middle of an archaeological dig, uncovering some incredible artifact, or maybe I'm exploring a hidden temple with secret passages and long-lost treasures. Sometimes, my dreams are more personal and I'll dream dream about fun adventures with my friends, or school.

Have you ever been in love?

I think I might be experiencing it now, actually. It's with Dean. We've been friends for so long, and somewhere along the way, my feelings for him started to deepen. It's like I see him in a different light now, noticing the little things that make him so special.

It's both exciting and a bit nerve-wracking. I'm not entirely sure how he feels about me, and I don't want to risk our friendship by confessing my feelings if he's not on the same page. But there's something about the way he looks at me sometimes, or how he's always there when I need him, that makes me hopeful.

So, while I haven't had a full-blown, movie-style romance yet, I think what I'm feeling for Dean might just be the start of something really special.

What is your least favorite thing in the world? What is your pet peeve?

My least favorite thing in the world is probably dishonesty. I value trust and openness so much, especially in my friendships, so when someone is deceitful or hides the truth, it really bothers me. It feels like a betrayal, and it's hard for me to forgive and forget when that trust is broken.

As for a pet peeve, I can't stand it when people are consistently late. I understand that things happen and sometimes people run behind schedule, but when it's a habitual thing, it just feels disrespectful of everyone's time. Punctuality shows that you value and respect the other person's time, so when someone is always late, it really gets under my skin.

Would you team up with your worst enemy if it was your only option?

As much as I might dislike the idea, I think I would team up with my worst enemy if it was my only option. In the end, if the situation is serious enough—like if it's a matter of life and death or something really important that affects a lot of people—I'd put aside my personal feelings and do what's necessary.

I believe in the greater good and doing what's right, even if it means working with someone I don't get along with. It wouldn't be easy, and I'd definitely be cautious, but sometimes you have to make tough decisions and put your differences aside for the sake of the bigger picture.

Tagging @the-golden-comet @illarian-rambling @drchenquill

@kaseylynnwriting @silent-oakster @bellascarousel

@frostedlemonwriter

open tag

#oc interview #oc interview tag #writerscorner #writeblr #writers of tumblr #writers on tumblr #writerscommunity #writers community #ya romance #ya fiction #character qna #character questions #oc questions #oc prompt #oc #original character #my ocs

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elvisabutler · 2 years

Text

need a hand

summary: lazy mornings are few and far between with you and your boyfriend and they're supposed to be about the two of you. this particular one has been interrupted enough by his work that you take matters into your own hands- by using his. fandom: austin butler | elvis ( 2022 ) rating: m. pairing: austin butler x plus sized female reader word count: 1266 warnings: somewhat public sex ( someone is on the other end of a phone call ). fingering. implied/fade to black p in v sex. waxing poetic about austin's hands. author's note: this is the double dip for day thirty one: hand kink with austin butler. so after i had decided to go the professor route with day 31 i got an ask from an anon asking for hand kink for kinktober, now it was after i had already started, about midway through october but i was like you know what anon, you've given me a prompt and shit why not. hope you're still around anon and you like this. as for everyone else, hope you enjoy too and lord have mercy, i really only have one more double dip and we're done with kinktober. in december. gold star all of us. also saints preserve me if there's any typos. pretty sure i caught them all but who even knows.

The thing you first noticed about Austin, beyond his blue eyes that you could drown in and his height and how he looked like every lanky tall boy you had ever fallen for in your life, was his hands. It makes sense that he has large hands because he's a rather large person, a rather tall person. So you should be used to it by now except you're not- you're pretty sure you're never going to get over how his hand actually spans a good portion of your entire ass cheek and each hand can hold a breast with an ease that not many men- or women- in your life had managed. You're pretty sure you're never going to get over how his hand could grab under your chin and force you to look up at him even when you're being bashful under his compliments of how you look like a goddess in your jumpsuit or in your dress or on one particularly memorable occasion, your pjs-a shirt that was far too oversized for him but he wore anyway just to get you to be able to say that you stole his shirt for your pjs.

The point is Austin's hands are a thing you mildly fixate on sometimes and in particular when he has rings on his fingers it makes it worse. You don't act instead choosing to spend your time saving the world one case at a time- or so you tell yourself- practicing law. It takes your mind off of the long stretches of time you don't have your boyfriend with you and- well you like to think even with him as your boyfriend and perhaps your future husband no one will mind when you go into politics with him by your side. Changing the world can only happen so much when you're on the outside, sometimes you have to get in the midst of things. He's finally home for a fair chunk of time despite him gearing up to fully hit the award season press junket. Bikeriders has wrapped and you for once have an entirely free weekend. He still has to do a virtual interview or two but it's fine.

At least you thought it was until one interview dragged into another and suddenly Austin is answering the phone yet again and you find yourself watching him. It's supposed to be a lazy morning so you're wearing the oversized shirt and nothing on underneath it as far as underwear goes. You watch as his hands gesticulate with the occasional glint of a ring you gave him on his left ring finger. God, his hands shouldn't do as much for you as they do and yet you find your legs falling open just a smidge as he continues to talk. Lazy mornings are meant for you and him to reconnect both emotionally and physically. Emotionally you were fine but physically in this moment you found that you were lacking, you could just start to touch yourself with your own hand but that felt so silly considering you were right next to your boyfriend who conveniently has one of his hands near your thigh. Your eyes focus on his face as you subtly grab his hand and move it up your thigh until you can feel his fingers start to press ever so gently against your cunt. He stutters for a moment before looking at you and down at his hand in confusion.

"Keep going." You mouth before you fully have his fingers inside of you. A sigh leaves your mouth at the sensation and you can see Austin biting his lip as he listens to whatever question the interviewer hsas on the other end of the line. You're wetter than you have any right to be with no real preparation but you'd like to blame that on being as attracted as you are to Austin that even the simple act of being near him like you are today that has you aroused. It's hard to figure out how to move Austin's hand in the way you would normally want it to be moving when he's doing it but you make it work. He gets the clue that you need some help and looks questioningly at you as if to ask if he can move his fingers only to have you nod.

His fingers curl and shift, brushing against your g-spot as you feel his thumb press against your clit, forcing a hiss out of you. He continues to talk to the interviewer as if nothing is happening though you can see his cock pressing against his boxers, a small wet spot forming on the fabric the longer the interview goes on and the longer his hand moves within you. Normally when Austin fingers you it's a bit of a quick affair, a means to an ends as far as foreplay goes but this- no this is you and him trying to get you off while he's preoccupied. You bite your lips trying to swallow your groans and moans as your toes curl. Austin's eyes narrow just a hair at one particularly loud noise that escapes your lips that has him apologizing to the person on the other end.

"Quiet." He mouths before his fingers continue their onslaught in your cunt. He puts the phone against his shoulder and leans his head onto it to keep it in place before he has the genius thought to put his fingers in your mouth to keep you quiet. It has the opposite effect though, as you groan around his fingers, your tongue swirling around the digits in a way that's reminiscent of how you suck his cock. You swear you hear the interviewer- or maybe it's Austin- apologize but your heartbeat is too busy rushing through your ears for you to register it fully. Instead, your body focuses on the feel of his calloused fingers against your clit, as he had abandoned just using his thumb to do it. The rubbing motion would be enough- feels like it's going to be enough before he practically yanks his fingers out of your mouth and grabs one of your breasts and just pinches the nipple at the same time as he rubs just so against your clit. Your teeth dig into your lower lip so hard you swear it's about to bleed with the force as you cum, your orgasm cascading over you as you shiver just a bit from the sheer force of it. At some point your eyes had shut and you open them to see Austin's chest rising and falling quicker than it had been. You see his cock peeking out from his boxers just a hair and you see his hands holding the phone.

"I hope to talk to you again soon as well! Call me later if you had any follow ups, I know that isn't protocol but you seem nice. Bye and thank you!" He finishes off the conversation with a flourish of the hand that had previously been on your breast before he looks at you, tossing the phone on his nightstand. The look he has reminds you of a predator seeking his prey, you should be scared but you're not, instead choosing to smirk.

"Ready for more, Mr. Butler?" You ask, moving to pull off your shirt before he stops you and pulls you closer to him allowing himself to squeeze your hip as his fingers dig into the ample flesh.

His lips catch yours in a bruising kiss before he answers. "My hands were just getting started, babe."

#austin butler #austin butler x reader #austin butler x y/n #austin butler smut #austin butler x you #austin butler fanfiction #austin butler x reader smut #austin butler x plus size reader #austin butler fanfic #austin butler fic #ally's kinktober 2022 #kinktober 2022 #ally writes

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duckprintspress · 9 months

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Meet the Aether Beyond the Binary Contributors: Mikki Madison

Today, we’re kicking off introducing y’all to the contributors to Aether Beyond the Binary, our currently crowdfunding awesome anthology of 17 stories set in aetherpunk settings starring genderqueer and non-binary characters, with an interview with writer Mikki Madison and excerpt from her contribution!

About Mikki Madison: Mikki Madison has been writing stories since she was seven years old. While she is most prolific in fanfiction and has works scattered among more than a dozen fandoms, she has been making strides into original fiction. Her favorite genres to read are romance, fantasy, and cozy mysteries. When she isn’t reading, writing, or falling headfirst into a new fandom, she can be found baking, doing puzzles, walking her foster dog, doting on her niblings, or playing Pokemon Go. She has also written under the name M. K. Mads. Link: Tumblr

Mikki Madison has been involved with Duck Prints Press since our first project, and has contributed to two previous anthologies: And Seek (Not) to Alter Me: Queer Fanworks Inspired by Shakespeare’s Much Ado About Nothing and He Bears the Cape of Stars. She’s also written two short stories with the Press, one – The Fated Prince published on our webpage (and included in the contributor short-story bundle campaign add-on!) and It Happened on Maple Street, which is Patreon-backer exclusive.

Q&A with Mikki Madison

Are you a pantser, a planner, or a planster? What’s your process look like?

I’m a planner. I virtually always have an outline for any project I’m working on, whether it’s a quick scribbled bullet list or more involved note cards. The note cards are typically for novels, while short stories I can get away with something less involved. It helps to keep me on track and if the story veers while I’m writing, I can adjust either the outline or the story as I need to.

Do you like having background noise when you create? What do you listen to? Does it vary depending on the project, and if so, how?

It varies depending on project and also where I am. I have a bunch of story- or genre-specific iTunes playlists that I would listen to whenever I was at in-person write-ins, which usually contained movie and video game scores because I write most easily with instrumental music playing. So if I was writing a fantasy story, I’d have a playlist with the score from the LOTR movies or Final Fantasy games, and if it was a sci-fi story, I’d have Star Wars, and steampunk would be the movie scores from the Guy Ritchie Sherlock Holmes movies. Recently someone in the DPP server shared a link to a YouTube channel with immersive writing sessions that are about 2 hours long, with 25-minute sprints interspersed with 5-minute breaks. I’ve been putting that channel on the TV while I’m writing at home and it’s really helped me focus!

What are your favorite snacks and/or drinks to consume while creating?

As you can probably tell from a glance at my Tumblr, I love tea. I’m virtually always drinking tea, especially when it’s cold outside.

What are your favorite tropes?

Found family is one of my absolute favorite tropes. I love seeing a disparate group of people come together to care about each other. I’m also a huge fan of rivals to lovers and second-chance romances. Plus, the grumpy one is soft for the sunshine one!! I love it when the grumpy one is soft for the sunshine one.

Tell us about your pet(s).

Right now, I don’t have any full-time pets – I foster dogs for a local rescue. I’ve had 9 dogs over the course of the past year, from 80-pound coonhounds to 3-pound chihuahua puppies. It’s been extremely rewarding and I’ve had so much fun getting to know all the different dogs. It’s hard when I have to let them go, but I know that they’re not “my” dogs and I’m happy that they’re getting to go to a forever family.

What’s the best advice you’ve ever received?

This quote from E.L. Konigsburg: “Finish. The difference between being a writer and being a person of talent is the discipline it takes to apply the seat of your pants to the seat of your chair and finish. Don’t talk about doing it. Do it. Finish.”

Novels in particular are marathons, and finishing a story of that length is a skill you’ve got to build. It’s fine if it gets trunked, it’s fine if you never edit it, but I think especially as a younger writer, you really need to learn to at least finish that first draft. It helped me tremendously early on to focus on finishing my stories, instead of just editing the beginnings over and over and over.

What are your favorite resources and tools for your craft?

A friend of mine has gifted me a couple of writing-related card decks – one is a prompt deck called Writer’s XL Emergency Pack, another is a card game called Once Upon a Time. I’ve recently been using both to come up with short story ideas and it’s been really fun!

I draw anywhere from 3-9 cards, depending on the length of what I’m doing, and then start brainstorming how to use the different cards within a story. If I’m not feeling one of the cards, I discard it and draw another one.

For example, I was recently working on a story where I knew one of the MCs didn’t want to work with the other one, but I didn’t know why. I knew that was going to be a big plot point, but none of the ideas I’d come up with seemed to fit. So I started drawing some cards out of the Once Upon a Time deck to see if that might spark something. Three of the first cards I drew were “secret,” “wolf,” and “cure.” Bam! A secret werewolf looking for a cure. That gave me my motivation and helped me outline the back half of the story.

When you’re writing short stories for NaNoWriMo and you’re desperately trying to come up with something else for your word count, these are lifesavers. And I like the physicality of shuffling and drawing them.

Share five of your favorite books.

Guards! Guards! by Terry Pratchett – if you enjoy fantasy and comedy and you haven’t yet read the Discworld series, this is a fantastic place to start. The Night Watch books are probably my favorites and this one is excellent.

The Heiress Effect by Courtney Milan – Honestly I love all of Courtney Milan’s romance novels, but The Brothers Sinister series (of which The Heiress Effect is the second book) is really, really great. I love Jane, the heroine of this story, SO MUCH, and the secondary romance between her sister and a lawyer is so, so sweet. I’ve read it three or four times at this point.

The House in the Cerulean Sea by TJ Klune – I love found families and fantasy and romance, so this book was right up my alley and I read the entire thing in one go. The kids particularly were wonderful.

The Kaiju Preservation Society by John Scalzi – Another book I read in one go, and it was SO much fun that I couldn’t put it down. Scalzi’s sci-fi is both funny and accessible, and another thing I liked about this book was that the first-person POV and the unisex name (Jamie) meant that you can read the main character as any gender you’d like.

The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet by Becky Chambers – I really loved the structure of this book: essentially several episodes of this ship’s crew becoming closer as they make their way across the galaxy on a yearlong journey to help create a new wormhole. It was both fascinating and heart-wrenching.

And my +1 (because we do 5+1 in fandom, yeah?): A Clash of Steel by C. B. Lee – This is a queer YA retelling of Treasure Island set in 1820s China, and it’s an absolute delight. Lee’s descriptions are so vivid that it feels like you’re actually there, and the romance is so, so good.

About Mikki Madison’s Aether Beyond the Binary Contribution

Title: Mixed Dough

Tags: bakery, bed and breakfast, character injury (permanent), character injury (serious), cults, death of a sibling (past), emotional hurt/comfort, food (graphic descriptions), gender exploration, gender non-conforming character, getting together, hurt/comfort, m/nb, non-binary, past tense, plane crash, tattooed, third person limited pov

Excerpt:

“Your plane crashed,” Jules explained. “You’re badly injured. Help is on the way. I’ll—”

The pilot’s eyes grew wide, and they struggled to speak. Jules leaned in closer, putting his ear as close to the pilot’s mouth as he dared.

“Where…?”

It was the only word Jules could make out. “You’re in New Blanchard. Or, well, just outside of it.”

The pilot’s eyes closed and their whole body sagged. “Thank fuck.”

They were still breathing, albeit barely, so Jules didn’t panic. He glanced back toward the bed-and-breakfast and the road; the ambulance lights were pulling into the driveway. “The ambulance is here. I’ll…”

His eyes fell on a tattoo peeking over the collar of the pilot’s shirt. In and of itself, that wasn’t a cause for concern, but given the shape and that the pilot had been in a gas-powered plane…

Jules pulled the shirt down to reveal a tattoo of three interlocking rings, about the size of a half-dollar.

Well. Shit.

Mikki Madison is one of 17 awesome contributors to this collection. Visit our Kickstarter Campaign page to learn all about the other contributors and this project!

#aether beyond the binary #duck prints press #mikki madison #queer anthology #nonbinary #lgbtqia

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bookishtheaterlover7 · 7 months

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Hi booky! Marketing anon here, just checking in on you.

I can see you are upset by what’s happened recently and I think you are very valid to feel how you feel. I will keep my own thoughts to myself.

That being said, I was kind of waiting for 🐟 to show her true colors for a long time and I think at this point it should be pretty obvious.

For these last years, CE’s angry haters/fans tore him apart (I’ve seen some very heavy hating posts lately) for this relationship but I’ve never believed what they said was happening.

People claimed 🐟 gave up everything and hid for 2 years so she could be a wife and perfect partner to his idyllic settle down in the woods peaceful life. Right? Isn’t that what so many ppl were screaming about and claimed he didn’t want a strong woman just someone to mold to him? It was what he wanted, not her. And people complained about this and called him every name in the book.

….let me ask some simple questions here. Since they got together, where has it been shown that she’s given up anything for him?

She is in PT all the time and her trolling friends continue to troll and be themselves 24/7

He is now being seen in PT doing restaurant tours for her/with her.

He is being seen in LA doing laps with her for the paps and somehow her style account gets updates on her all high fashion.

He attends some random industry parties and somehow is never seen outside of being pictured with her. And of course every event gets her outfits to wear that her style account can update 🙄

On Thanksgiving weekend, people assumed she would be with him in the states but it turns out she’s in PT with her soulmate walking a red carpet for no reason.

She’s seen in France skiing with her friends.

She’s seen in reels posted by her friends hanging out with them all over the last year.

The two interviews she’s gotten by PT spreads have her stating she lives in LA or LA and NY for her career and then goes home to PT to recharge.

Where in any of this is she giving up her life for him?

Are people finally waking up to realize, no, he is not making her do anything. She is doing what she wants and she has always been. If she hid herself for two years that’s her own decision. Nobody told her she had to attend any of these events if she’s so shy but clearly from her BTS makeup photos she’s very happy to pose for these big events (GQ, Paris fashion, VF)

Also, the VF red carpet.

She wants him to take photos with her so he stays back even though he tried to leave and let her have her own moment.

He’s seen on footage responding to her, and she’s asking, touching, and he appears on camera to be appeasing to her requests or whatever.

The latest post by her has her posting everything about her and her clothes, pics of herself, and not one mention of him.

He is the reason she was able to attend that party yet all of her friends and minions are giving her the attention as if she turned water into wine.

It’s very clear here to me what’s going on.

Why do you think Chris has virtually disappeared from his social media presence?

I’m not saying that he is a victim and to make her the bad guy. Obviously he is grown and makes his own decisions. But I’m not seeing this alleged “Chris being the one telling her to change her life for him because he’s selfish and blah blah”

I’ve never seen that all. The footage doesn’t lie. He wasn’t directing her around at all. In fact, it could be argued she was the one doing that. He likely wanted to let her have her own moment but it seems like she knows she needs him in order to shine.

Also, for those claiming he stole his brother’s thunder.

He didn’t attend the Oscar’s. His brother did and with his own partner. If Chris had gone as his brother’s plus one that would have been more attention seeking to me. Because if he shows up to the actual ceremony next to his bro, he WOULD be stealing the spotlight because he’s more well known. But he didn’t. People need to stop coming for him for that.

Him attending the after party had nothing to do with his brother so I also need people to stop with that. It’s clear to me he attended with her and this was an opportunity for her to get the spotlight.

I understand being upset at a celeb because some of you don’t like his decisions on certain things but to slander and spew vitriol at him and then photoshop him in disgusting edits is just. Well says more about some of you.

None of this is directed at you, booky. You feel how you feel. I hope you don’t take this too much to heart because like some others have been saying, it’s not worth the energy.

Be well ❤️

Hey, Marketing An🫶n!!!

I'm so glad you're back! 🥹 And thanks, it means a whole lot to hear you say that, and to check up on me. And if you're worried about the haters on whatever you're thinking, I don't think you should hold back. But I respect that.

Made some good points about Alba, and her not giving anything for Chris up. Because seriously, you're not wrong.

Basically, for me, they're both doing this. Chris isn't blameless in any of it.

But, he really was trying to get the attention away from him at VF. Scott went with Steve, and because of you Marketing An🫶n it makes better sense that he would. Because people watch for the more famous sibling. And I noticed that too! He left Alba so that she can have her star moment and have solo photos. But no, she decides to be needy, and force him to stay. 👸 even said she never had a photo at the last marker. 👀

No wonder Chris decided blending into the background was a good idea 😆 unfortunate color combo as it was.

No, it's okay. I've had a few days to chill. And feel it. And trust me, I get it. And I'm not offended.

Some fans just take it too far with the hate. Hell, they went too far with the signed bomb at the USO tour pics from years ago, so this is definitely not a surprise.

Thank you for dropping by again, Marketing An🫶n! A lot of us missed your insightful messages 🥹🤗

It's so good to have you here, and don't worry if you need to give yourself time. I know we all need that... ❤️‍🩹

P.S. I know I said I'd chill and stop answering for the night, but it's Marketing An🫶n. I couldn't not answer them 😆

#An🫶n asks #Hello Marketing An🫶n #Marketing An🫶n asks #booky reacts #booky answers #chris evans #chris evans fandom #Team Chris #seriously those edits are still going?#God!

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catastrfy · 3 months

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A bit early in my Oregon time zone, but in many places in the world it's already 28 June 2024, the 55th anniversary of the Stonewall Rebellion.

HAPPY PRIDE to all my QUILTBAG siblings and niblings and elders!

To counter some misinformation spread by transphobes, some helpful URLS

What Stonewall means to the people who were there

Gay rights pioneer & AIDS activist Yvonne Ritter shares personal experience in Stonewall Riots who is the third from left in Fred McDarrah's photo of gay youths at Stonewall -- and is an out and proud trans woman

Audio interviews on the first Christopher Street Day taken by Breck Ardery (2 sides)

Guardian article on the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall Rebellion

Village Voice onthe 40th anniversary

The Atlantic about Craig Rodwell's Oscar Wilde Bookshop

Interview with Craig Rodwell on Making Gay History

NPS's Virtual Fence Exhibit

Some of Fred McDarrah's Pride Photos, ccn( first page) and NY1.com (second page )

1999 article on Stonewall orig published in Socialism Today

Portrait of Craig Rodwell and Pride

Christopher Park Stonewall National Monument article: https://www.nyclgbtsites.org/site/christopher-park/ (And nothing about Fred Sargggghgent bc I find it reprehensible that he waited until Craig Rodwell was dead to start stealing Craig's thunder. Plus, you know, literal cop)

#Stonewall Rebellion #Happy Pride!#QUILTBAG #Yvonne Ritter #Breck Ardery #Bettye Lane #the Stonewall cross-dressing lesbian #Christopher Street #Stonewall Riot #Craig Rodwell #Oscar Wilde Bookshop #Making Gay History #Fred McDarrah #Stonewall #Gay History #Queer History #Trans History

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luigiblood · 8 months

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Game Ownership

In sort of a response to the Ubisoft director of subscriptions where he said that we need to get more confortable not owning games...

Well, reading that interview from GamesIndustry.biz, turns out he never really said that. It's more of an observation of the gaming subscription services, and comparing different views. It's actually a pretty interesting read.

But the negative response to the more clickbait part where the gamers went very much against this from the get go was something that particularly striked me as how I really just didn't feel like I was part of those who responded like this.

I do not care about owning games that much. I may be a owner of retro consoles, games, and about 50 Switch physical games, but the reasons ranges from passion to just practical and economical.

Taking the example of the Switch, what currently makes me attached to physical games are more of how it's usually cheaper in my country (like, first party games day one tend to be 25% off brand new), and the practicality when you live in a household with 2 Switch systems, it's just easier to share the games that way with your family. If I could just buy digitally with the same advantages, I'd just do that.

This view on game ownership has mostly to do with my past of a guy who pirated games and movies like crazy before we got a little more comfortable paying for stuff. But this past also comes with a deeper importance on the presence of data locally. Cloud gaming is something I hate on passionately if the industry keeps going on that as a means to play games exclusively. It would be the kind of thing that would make my heart broken about modern gaming as a whole, but thankfully we're not even close to there, and I suspect we'll never be.

But I could also not need to pay for the games, I don't really see a lack of ownership as a problem on its own. The only thing that matters is if it's practical or not, and that's the part that feels like it tends to be skipped when explained. That's how it went about movies and music.

That practicality is critical, and that is the part that's the most in danger. The big reason why is how companies can decide on a whim what is accessible to suit their needs. That WILL be completely in the process of enshittification due to how companies have to keep growing until it makes no more sense. You don't even need to look very far to understand this, video streaming services are already very good at doing absolutely this, but I also dare say the Game Pass and PlayStation Plus are on a similar boat to a different extent, though.

One of the recent examples of how bad shit is HBO Max's removal of a huge amount of content just for a massive tax write down. There is financial incentive to fuck us all, and I consider the future to do absolutely that in the long term for gaming.

That kind of thing SUCKS. That is what we're actually scared of as a consumer. I hate seeing art being considered as a throwaway product.

I even saw a french article that was so complacent with this and kept saying complete bullshit things like "oh if they remove that game from the service, just take it as an opportunity to play another one" just, fuck off. That's not how I see this kind of service.

I love Nintendo Switch Online, despite a lot of its flaws, and hate on Virtual Console's overall legacy personally. I'm all for ways to allow discoverability and pick the curiosity of people. That's the kind of shit that I love in having some ease of access to catalogs, despite not owning them.

Wasn't it the dream to just access to everything with less money though? Don't tell me otherwise because I wouldn't believe you. I do think there's something nice in this kind of service, but we also need to figure how to keep companies from the inevitable enshittification that will ensue on the constant need for growth beyond any reasonable sense.

#gaming #streaming #opinion #ownership

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kemetic-dreams · 10 months

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Land taken from African Americans through trickery, violence and murder

For generations, African American families passed down the tales in uneasy whispers: "They stole our land."

These were family secrets shared after the children fell asleep, after neighbors turned down the lamps -- old stories locked in fear and shame.

Some of those whispered bits of oral history, it turns out, are true.

In an 18-month investigation, The Associated Press documented a pattern in which African Americans were cheated out of their land or driven from it through intimidation, violence and even murder.

In some cases, government officials approved the land takings; in others, they took part in them. The earliest occurred before the Civil War; others are being litigated today.

Some of the land taken from African families has become a country club in Virginia, oil fields in Mississippi, a major-league baseball spring training facility in Florida.

The United States has a long history of bitter, often violent land disputes, from claim jumping in the gold fields to range wars in the old West to broken treaties with American Indians. Poor European landowners, too, were sometimes treated unfairly, pressured to sell out at rock-bottom prices by railroads and lumber and mining companies.

The fate of African American landowners has been an overlooked part of this story.

The AP -- in an investigation that included interviews with more than 1,000 people and the examination of tens of thousands of public records in county courthouses and state and federal archives -- documented 107 land takings in 13 Southern and border states.

In those cases alone, 406 African American landowners lost more than 24,000 acres of farm and timber land plus 85 smaller properties, including stores and city lots. Today, virtually all of this property, valued at tens of millions of dollars, is owned by Europeans or by corporations.

Properties taken from Africans were often small -- a 40-acre farm, a general store, a modest house. But the losses were devastating to families struggling to overcome the legacy of slavery. In the agrarian South, landownership was the ladder to respect and prosperity -- the means to building economic security and passing wealth on to the next generation. When African American families lost their land, they lost all of this.

"When they steal your land, they steal your future," said Stephanie Hagans, 40, of Atlanta, who has been researching how her great-grandmother, Ablow Weddington Stewart, lost 35 acres in Matthews, N.C. A European lawyer foreclosed on Stewart in 1942 after he refused to allow her to finish paying off a $540 debt, witnesses told the AP.

"How different would our lives be," Hagans asked, "if we'd had the opportunities, the pride that land brings?"

No one knows how many African American families have been unfairly stripped of their land, but there are indications of extensive loss.

Besides the 107 cases the AP documented, reporters found evidence of scores of other land takings that could not be fully verified because of gaps or inconsistencies in the public record. Thousands of additional reports of land takings from African American families remain uninvestigated.

Two thousand have been collected in recent years by the Penn Center on St. Helena Island, S.C., an educational institution established for freed slaves during the Civil War. The Land Loss Prevention Project, a group of lawyers in Durham, N.C., who represent blacks in land disputes, said it receives new reports daily. And Heather Gray of the Federation of Southern Cooperatives in Atlanta said her organization has "file cabinets full of complaints."

AP's findings "are just the tip of one of the biggest crimes of this country's history," said Ray Winbush, director of Fisk University's Institute of Race Relations.

Some examples of land takings documented by the AP:

After midnight on Oct. 4, 1908, 50 hooded European men surrounded the home of a African farmer in Hickman, Ky., and ordered him to come out for a whipping. When David Walker refused and shot at them instead, the mob poured coal oil on his house and set it afire, according to contemporary newspaper accounts. Pleading for mercy, Walker ran out the front door, followed by four screaming children and his wife, carrying a baby in her arms. The mob shot them all, wounding three children and killing the others. Walker's oldest son never escaped the burning house. No one was ever charged with the killings, and the surviving children were deprived of the farm their father died defending. Land records show that Walker's 2 1/2-acre farm was simply folded into the property of a white neighbor. The neighbor soon sold it to another man, whose daughter owns the undeveloped land today.In the 1950s and 1960s, a Chevrolet dealer in Holmes County, Miss., acquired hundreds of acres from African American farmers by foreclosing on small loans for farm equipment and pickup trucks. Norman Weathersby, then the only dealer in the area, required the farmers to put up their land as security for the loans, county residents who dealt with him said. And the equipment he sold them, they said, often broke down shortly thereafter. Weathersby's friend, William E. Strider, ran the local Farmers Home Administration -- the credit lifeline for many Southern farmers. Area residents, including Erma Russell, 81, said Strider, now dead, was often slow in releasing farm operating loans to Africans. When cash-poor farmers missed payments owed to Weathersby, he took their land. The AP documented eight cases in which Weathersby acquired African-owned farms this way. When he died in 1973, he left more than 700 acres of this land to his family, according to estate papers, deeds and court records.In 1964, the state of Alabama sued Lemon Williams and Lawrence Hudson, claiming the cousins had no right to two 40-acre farms their family had worked in Sweet Water, Ala., for nearly a century. The land, officials contended, belonged to the state. Circuit Judge Emmett F. Hildreth urged the state to drop its suit, declaring it would result in "a severe injustice." But when the state refused, saying it wanted income from timber on the land, the judge ruled against the family. Today, the land lies empty; the state recently opened some of it to logging. The state's internal memos and letters on the case are peppered with references to the family's race.

In the same courthouse where the case was heard, the AP located deeds and tax records documenting that the family had owned the land since an ancestor bought the property on Jan. 3, 1874. Surviving records also show the family paid property taxes on the farms from the mid-1950s until the land was taken.

AP reporters tracked the land cases by reviewing deeds, mortgages, tax records, estate papers, court proceedings, surveyor maps, oil and gas leases, marriage records, census listings, birth records, death certificates and Freedmen's Bureau archives. Additional documents, including FBI files and Farmers Home Administration records, were obtained through the Freedom of Information Act.

The AP interviewed black families that lost land, as well as lawyers, title searchers, historians, appraisers, genealogists, surveyors, land activists, and local, state and federal officials.

The AP also talked to current owners of the land, nearly all of whom acquired the properties years after the land takings occurred. Most said they knew little about the history of their land. When told about it, most expressed regret.

Weathersby's son, John, 62, who now runs the dealership in Indianola, Miss., said he had little direct knowledge about his father's business affairs. However, he said he was sure his father never would have sold defective vehicles and that he always treated people fairly.

Alabama Gov. Don Siegelman examined the state's files on the Sweet Water case after an inquiry from the AP. He said he found them "disturbing" and has asked the state attorney general to review the matter.

"What I have asked the attorney general to do," he said, "is look not only at the letter of the law but at what is fair and right."

The land takings are part of a larger picture -- a 91-year decline in African American landownership in America.

In 1910, African Americans owned more farmland than at any time before or since -- at least 15 million acres. Nearly all of it was in the South, largely in Mississippi, Alabama and the Carolinas, according to the U.S. Agricultural Census. Today, Africans own only 1.1 million of the country's more than 1 billion acres of arable land. They are part owners of another 1.07 million acres.

The number of European American farmers has declined over the last century, too, as economic trends have concentrated land in fewer, often corporate, hands. However, African American ownership has declined 2 1/2 times faster than white ownership, the U.S. Civil Rights Commission noted in a 1982 report, the last comprehensive federal study on the trend.

The decline in African American landownership had a number of causes, including the discriminatory lending practices of the Farmers Home Administration and the migration of Africans from the rural South to industrial centers in the North and West.

However, the land takings also contributed. In the decades between Reconstruction and the civil rights struggle, black families were powerless to prevent them, said Stuart E. Tolnay, a University of Washington sociologist and co-author of a book on lynchings. In an era when African Americans could not drink from the same water fountains as European and African men were lynched for whistling at white women, few Africans dared to challenge Europeans. Those who did could rarely find lawyers to take their cases or judges who would give them a fair hearing.

The Rev. Isaac Simmons was an exception. When his land was taken, he found a lawyer and tried to fight back.

In 1942, his 141-acre farm in Amite County, Miss., was sold for nonpayment of taxes, property records show. The farm, for which his father had paid $302 in 1887, was bought by a European man for $180.

Only partial, tattered tax records for the period exist today in the county courthouse; but they are enough to show that tax payments on at least part of the property were current when the land was taken.

Simmons hired a lawyer in February 1944 and filed suit to get his land back. On March 26, a group of Europeans paid Simmons a visit.

The minister's daughter, Laura Lee Houston, now 74, recently recalled her terror as she stood with her month-old baby in her arms and watched the men drag Simmons away. "I screamed and hollered so loud," she said. "They came toward me and I ran down in the woods."

The Europeans then grabbed Simmons' son, Eldridge, from his house and drove the two men to a lonely road.

"Two of them kept beating me," Eldridge Simmons later told the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People. "They kept telling me that my father and I were 'smart niggers' for going to see a lawyer."

Simmons, who has since died, said his captors gave him 10 days to leave town and told his father to start running. Later that day, the minister's body turned up with three gunshot wounds in the back, The McComb Enterprise newspaper reported at the time.

Today, the Simmons land -- thick with timber and used for hunting -- is privately owned and is assessed at $33,660. (Officials assess property for tax purposes, and the valuation is usually less than its market value.)

Over the past 20 years, a handful of African families have sued to regain their ancestral lands. State courts, however, have dismissed their cases on grounds that statutes of limitations had expired.

A group of attorneys led by Harvard University law professor Charles J. Ogletree has been making inquries recently about land takings. The group has announced its intention to file a national class-action lawsuit in pursuit of reparations for slavery and racial discrimination. However, some legal experts say redress for many land takings may not be possible unless laws are changed.

As the acres slipped away, so did treasured pieces of family history -- cabins crafted by a grandfather's hand, family graves in shaded groves.

But "the home place" meant more than just that. Many Africans have found it "very difficult to transfer wealth from one generation to the next," because they had trouble holding onto land, said Paula Giddings, a history professor at Duke University.

The Espy family in Vero Beach, Fla., lost its heritage in 1942, when the U.S. government seized its land through eminent domain to build an airfield. Government agencies frequently take land this way for public purposes under rules that require fair compensation for the owners.

In Vero Beach, however, the Navy appraised the Espys' 147 acres, which included a 30-acre fruit grove, two houses and 40 house lots, at $8,000, according to court records. The Espys sued, and an all-white jury awarded them $13,000. That amounted to one-sixth of the price per acre that the Navy paid European neighbors for similar land with fewer improvements, records show.

After World War II, the Navy gave the airfield to the city of Vero Beach. Ignoring the Espys' plea to buy back their land, the city sold part of it, at $1,500 an acre, to the Los Angeles Dodgers in 1965 as a spring training facility.

In 1999, the former Navy land, with parts of Dodgertown and a municipal airport, was assessed at $6.19 million. Sixty percent of that land once belonged to the Espys. The team sold its property to Indian River County for $10 million in August, according to Craig Callan, a Dodgers official.

The true extent of land takings from African families will never be known because of gaps in property and tax records in many rural Southern counties. The AP found crumbling tax records, deed books with pages torn from them, file folders with documents missing, and records that had been crudely altered.

In Jackson Parish, La., 40 years of moldy, gnawed tax and mortgage records were piled in a cellar behind a roll of Christmas lights and a wooden reindeer. In Yazoo County, Miss., volumes of tax and deed records filled a classroom in an abandoned school, the papers coated with white dust from a falling ceiling. The AP retrieved dozens of documents that custodians said were earmarked for shredders or landfills.

The AP also found that about a third of the county courthouses in Southern and border states have burned -- some more than once -- since the Civil War. Some of the fires were deliberately set.

On the night of Sept. 10, 1932, for example, 15 Europeans torched the courthouse in Paulding, Miss., where property records for the eastern half of Jasper County, then predominantly African, were stored. Records for the predominantly white western half of the county were safe in another courthouse miles away.

The door to the Paulding courthouse's safe, which protected the records, had been locked the night before, the Jasper County News reported at the time. The next morning, the safe was found open, most of the records reduced to ashes.

Suddenly, it was unclear who owned a big piece of eastern Jasper County.

Even before the courthouse fire, landownership in Jasper County was contentious. According to historical accounts, the Ku Klux Klan, resentful that African were buying and profiting from land, had been attacking African-owned farms, burning houses, lynching African farmers and chasing African American landowners away.

The Masonite Corp., a wood products company, was one of the largest landowners in the area. Because most of the land records had been destroyed, the company went to court in December 1937 to clear its title. Masonite believed it owned 9,581 acres and said in court papers that it had been unable to locate anyone with a rival claim to the land.

A month later, the court ruled the company had clear title to the land, which has since yielded millions of dollars in natural gas, timber and oil, according to state records.

From the few property records that remain, the AP was able to document that at least 204.5 of those acres had been acquired by Masonite after African American owners were driven off by the Klan. At least 850,000 barrels of oil have been pumped from this property, according to state oil and gas board records and figures from the Petroleum Technology Transfer Council, an industry group.

Today, the land is owned by International Paper Corp., which acquired Masonite in 1988. Jenny Boardman, a company spokeswoman, said International Paper had been unaware of the "tragic" history of the land and was concerned about AP's findings.

"This is probably part of a much larger, public debate about whether there should be restitution for people who have been harmed in the past," she said. "And by virtue of the fact that we now own these lands, we should be part of that discussion."

Even when Southern courthouses remained standing, mistrust and fear of white authority long kept Africans away from record rooms, where documents often were segregated into "white" and "colored." Many elderly Africans say they still remember how they were snubbed by court clerks, spat upon and even struck.

Today, however, fear and shame have given way to pride. Interest in genealogy among African families is surging, and some African whispered stories.

"People are out there wondering: What ever happened to Grandma's land?" said Loretta Carter Hanes, 75, a retired genealogist. "They knew that their grandparents shed a lot of blood and tears to get it."

Bryan Logan, a 55-year-old sports writer from Washington, D.C., was researching his heritage when he uncovered a connection to 264 acres of riverfront property in Richmond, Va.

Today, the land is Willow Oaks, an almost exclusively European American country club with an assessed value of $2.94 million. But in the 1850s, it was a corn-and-wheat plantation worked by the Howlett slaves -- Logan's ancestors.

Their owner, Thomas Howlett, directed in his will that his 15 slaves be freed, that his plantation be sold and that the slaves receive the proceeds. When he died in 1856, his European relatives challenged the will, but two courts upheld it.

Yet the freed slaves never got a penny.

Benjamin Hatcher, the executor of the estate, simply took over the plantation, court records show. He cleared the timber and mined the stone, providing granite for the Navy and War Department buildings in Washington and the capitol in Richmond, according to records in the National Archives.

When the Civil War ended in 1865, the former slaves complained to the occupying Union Army, which ordered Virginia courts to investigate.

Hatcher testified that he had sold the plantation in 1862 -- apparently to his son, Thomas -- but had not given the proceeds to the former slaves. Instead, court papers show, the proceeds were invested on their behalf in Confederate War Bonds. There is nothing in the public record to suggest the former slaves wanted their money used to support the Southern war effort.

Moreover, the bonds were purchased in the former slaves' names in 1864 -- a dubious investment at best in the fourth year of the war. Within months, Union armies were marching on Atlanta and Richmond, and the bonds were worthless pieces of paper.

The Africans insisted they were never given even that, but in 1871, Virginia's highest court ruled that Hatcher was innocent of wrongdoing and that the former slaves were owed nothing.

The following year, the plantation was broken up and sold at a public auction. Hatcher's son received the proceeds, county records show. In the 1930s, a Richmond businessman cobbled the estate back together; he sold it to Willow Oaks Corp. in 1955 for an unspecified amount.

"I don't hold anything against Willow Oaks," Logan said. "But how Virginia's courts acted, how they allowed the land to be stolen -- it goes against everything America stands for."

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