#pocket grumpus

[eclectus]

Frogtallo squimsh—

Credit to @charger-lens for the archive of pout screenshots.

[paxcallow]

Shoutout to your Raz for being a little cutie patootie anyway can you spare a headcanons about him for the poor *holding out my little orphan lad hat*

hehehe thank you also OH BABY YOU KNOW I CAN! i may have like 3 hours before i have to get a train to georgia but i always have time for RAZ and TALKING about RAZ!

PAX RAZ HEADCANONS GO! NO PARTICULAR ORDER OR THEME.

raz becomes pescetarian after the meat circus. i say pescetarian and not vegetarian because of his toxic relationship with Crab Sandwich. crab sandwich is raz's friend. but raz kind of wants to eat crab sandwich.

^ raz is kind of a freak.

like all things, raz picks up hydrokinesis pretty quickly, but for a while the Hand of Galochio Aquato will not grant him access to water deep enough to swim in. he beats himself up over this somewhat because neither queepie or frazie struggle with the hand like he does and while they're learning to swim, he's standing on the surface of the water like jesus.

actually, i feel like the Hand was always the most physically real to raz than any of the others because of his lack of denial about being a psychic. all the others felt the unnatural fear at a body of water and it grew much more violent and undertowed in the presence of the psychics, but a young razputin aquato heard the name "Hand of Galochio" and took that very literally.

sorry for the sadcanons. bonus augustus headcanon for your trouble. this barrier to water is something raz and dad can bond over, because while augustus can physically get in the water, he is utter ass at swimming and learns it the slowest of anyone in the family. he is so brave but after a lifetime of water curse, being in it feels the most unnatural. you know that clip from golden boy of kintaro(?) drowning all the way across the pool before turning around and very badassly going "So! How do you like my swimming. >:)" that's augustus while raz runs across the water beside him cheering him on.

he got his goggles from true psychic tales magazine, but he uses them now mostly to combat visual overstimulation. it takes him several years to realize that's what he's doing. projecting through a psi portal is very visually intense and that's why raz is convinced for the longest time that those things actually did anything psychic.

a combination of what donatella calls "sibling survival instinct" being surrounded by so many kids his age at camp, needing to blow off steam after just having run away from home, and wanting to make a good impression at his big new job is what explains the difference in raz's rudeness between psychonauts 1 and 2. in psychonauts 3, raz is going to repeatedly say some out of pocket shit to some fellow kids and then feel really guilty because he's a professional now.

i know i've said this before but it bears repeating that raz is a little menace about tickling. he just genuinely likes it and can't imagine that anyone might not. but he's soooooo shy so his primary way of getting tickles himself is being a little shit. that tends to do the trick. he's definitely not extremely obvious about it every single time. everyone totally doesn't know what he's doing.

raz proudly eats food off the floor. raz thinks wasting food is a crime!! he'll eat your leftovers. he'll drink the rest of your soda. he'll eat the other half of your sandwich. empty your unwanted snax into the grumpus that is razputin aquato.

this is sometimes the only way to get him to eat because often he forgets to until his stomach is screaming at him to spare its life. when he is very focused on something for a while, raz's neglect of himself hits him all at once. man im tired- ooh wait im hungry- oh im thirsty too- AH my eyes hurt have i not been blinking- whoa how is it after midnight already- OUCH i have a headache! my feet hurt! etc. he. needs people looking out for him.

raz is going to be a really good dad one day.

raz knows he is cute. intellectually. he uses this to his advantage to subtly manipulate adults into letting things slide or giving him floor bacon. but he has not internalized the fact that he is genuinely a little cutie pie not through his genetics and social engineering skills, but by being a little dorky smush face who is always earnest, borderline transparent, so so so brave, easily embarrassed, wanting to be friends with everyone, being a little baby bean,[i am slowly dragged off the stage with a cane]

[strangerthingsstuff4]

A Story of Another Us- Chapter Seven

Warnings- Swearing, mentions of sick animals, masturbation and perving (kinda), LOOOOTTTTSSS of sexual tension

It was like be a child all over again, falling asleep somewhere and waking up in her own bed, although it was usually the security guard of the club her mother worked at that was carrying her up to the little fold out bed that was set up for her in the dressing rooms. Unless Dwayne now worked on Dragon Stone Ranch then Dahlia woke up with no idea how she had gotten into bed. It wasn’t until midday that she managed to find out.

Alicent had whisked Aegon off with her to some meeting with a media company to get the farm some more recognition and funding, leaving Dahlia and Aemond to tend to all of the animals on the farm. The mud was sloppy beneath her wellies as she trudged over the open field towards the metal ring feeder that Aemond was fighting to close as the cows herded around him eating greedily.

‘Just wait a second you fat prick’ she heard Aemond grumble as he was nudged and nipped.

‘Looks like you’re having fun’ Dahlia teased as she pushed her way through the large heifers and helped him close the metal frame around the bale of hay.

Aemond only offered her a stare of discontent before pushing his way through to continue with his jobs.

‘Do you know how I got to bed last night? I can’t remember if I woke up to go up or not’ Dahlia blushed lightly at the idea of having fallen asleep in front of everyone.

‘Yeah, I er… I took you up… you were out cold’ Aemond chuckled gently while scrubbing the cattle’s grooming brushed against each other.

Dahlia’s face now burnt hot! He had carried her up to bed! She could have been snoring! What if he thought she was heavy?! What if she had drooled on him?! Never having wanted the floor to swallow her up more, she offered him a nervous smile.

‘Oh thank you! You should have just woken me up!’

‘I tried but you couldn’t hear me over your snoring, you might wanna get that checked out’ Aemond teased, forcing himself to keep his face straight while he looked at her.

‘Oh god’ Dahlia cringed.

‘I’m joking! You were fast asleep and I didn’t wanna disturb you’ Aemond grinned, proud at the annoyed look that was painted across her face.

‘You’re such a dick’ she grumbled back at him with a growing grin on her face.

The light breeze that washed over them carried a few birds songs from the shrubbery that surrounded the farm, and the gently hum of traffic from the nearby carriageway. It also held the raw scent of Aemond, the rich leather aroma weaving it’s way through Dahlia’s senses and almost making her head swirl. Gods he smelt good, even standing in a field of cattle and their droppings all she could smell was him.

‘Is there anything I can do to help?’ she asked eagerly, before she started salivating.

‘You could brush that annoying fuck for me, she wouldn’t stop walking away from me’ Aemond grumbled pointing to one of the brown heifer twins that tenanted their farm and passing her the brushing paddle that he had shoved in one of the pockets of his cargo pants.

‘You’re ridiculous!’ she laughed as she began gently grooming the animal as it feasted.

Aemond stopped attempting to put an antiseptic cream of the piercing wound of the cow Dahlia had treated a few weeks back, to give her an expectant look.

‘These are some of the gentlest , most beautiful caring animals you will find in this kind of job! You act as though they were hideous evil beasts!’

‘They’re lazy, they do nothing but eat and shit and they stink!’ he states back to her in a very matter of fact tone.

‘They do not! they are amazing animals you’re just a grumpus’ Dahlia grumbled, ignoring the raised eyebrow he offered her at her curious choice of insult. 

‘I’ll agree that they taste great but that’s as far as it goes’

‘Aemond!’ Dahlia gasped, quickly grabbing the ears of the cow she was grooming.

‘Oh don’t cover its ears!’ he laughed at her.

‘They just don’t have the same personality that horses do, there’s no intellect in them they’re… blank’ he explains.

‘There’s actually been studies done proving them to be quite intelligent, there was an experiment done where a cow followed sound through a maze to find a food source showing they have the ability to make decisions and they can hold a grudge so I’d mind your tongue around these lovely ladies’ Dahlia grinned at him as he shook his head at her.

The pair finished their duties with the cattle and allowed Vhagar to herd them back into their open field where they pastured. Aemond and Dahlia tidied the barn back to an acceptable standard before heading back towards the road to head home.

‘How can they hold a grudge? What to they have to be… grudgy about?!’ Aemond asked Dahlia curiously as both of their wellies squelched through the wet soggy mud.

‘Lots of things, if another cow threatens them or their calf. If a bull were to take a liking to another cow over them. If a human was threatening or abusive to them they have extremely advanced social skills’ she grins up at him as she notices their steps fall into stride with each other.

It happened so quickly to quick for her to do anything about it. As Aemond opened his mouth to make yet another comment, the ground beneath his feet turned into a slip and slide. The wet mud did little to soften his fall as his long legs flew up almost as high as his stomach and he crumbled to the floor. Landing on his back with a discomforting wet slap he groaned from the sheer contact of his body meeting the floor. Dahlia couldn’t help the gasp that left her mouth as she looked at him wincing on the floor. It only took a second of his looking up at her from the floor, mud flecked over his face and in his platinum hair, before she burst out laughing.

Dahlia held her stomach as her eyes watered and she continued to howl out laughter. The look on his face as he hit the floor would be imprinted in her brain forever. Her laughter died off the second she felt the warmth of his big hand wrapping around her ankle through her wellie, she could barely let out a small plea before she followed his tracks through the air and landed almost right on top of him. The left side of her chest pressed flush against his while the other lay absorbing the moisture from the damp floor. They both groaned in pain as her body collided with his on the floor, her ginger hair now having been dunked on the mud looking similar to his own.

‘Oh you’re such a prick’ she grumbled at him as her body wracked with a dull ache.

‘That’s what you get for laughing at me you bitch’ Aemond chuckled gruffly, placing his hands against her hips to try and deter her from moving her knee any higher into his crotch.

Dahlia released a breathy laugh as she leant up enough to look down at him lay underneath her. His purple eyes glimmered as he looked up at her with shaded eyes, having given in to the strain in his neck and letting his head sit in the wet mud beneath him. Even with the dirt spattered across his face he was still by far the most beautiful man she had ever seen, His pale skin seemed to sparkle even on the dullest day, almost like he was a marble statue standing on a pedestal in the famous museum that contained precious artifacts of old Valyria.

The flick of his amethyst iris’ shooting down to her parted lips pulled Dahlia from her admiration of him. She watches his eyes scan over her lips, looking at them unphased by the shift in her breathing or the way her body had tense against him. Her hands curling into themselves gripping at his chest, Dahlia took a deep breath in feeling Aemond’s hands tighten their hold on her hips ever so slightly, his fingertips burns holes into her being that would be perfectly fit for him. Her mind hazed over and she didn’t allow herself to think about what she was doing, didn’t let herself think about how it was her best friends brother that lay beneath her, whose nose she brushed with her own, whose breath fanned over her face.

The popping of heavy tires rolling over the gravel drive tore the two of them out of their bubble and back into the world around them, their attention being driven to the vehicle approaching the turn in to the farm. Dahlia, having looked over her shoulder, turned back to look at Aemond, him having lifted his head off the mud to inspect the interruption. Not sure whether the air between them was now heavy with tension, Dahlia scanned over his features looking for any give. Relieved to see the gentle amused smile he offered her she chuckled back gently before climbing to her feet, offering him a hand to aid him in his ascent.

‘You have a bit of mud in your hair’ Dahlia teased as they continued their walk.

‘Dickhead’ Aemond grinned shaking his head as he watched his feet carefully move through the slippery earth.

Once reaching the stables Aemond offered a small wave and the promise of ‘seeing her later’ before he joined a tall figure of a man waiting for him at the entrance of the building. With a messy attempt of platting her hair to get the mud out of the way, Dahlia continued on with her chores. The sheep were fed and watered before she moved on to filling the chickens grandpa feeders, she stood pouring the grain from her bucket into the metal stand when she caught movement on the other side of the farm. Aemond appeared from the Stables with the exotic figure that had ripped them from their almost intimate moment. A distressed look graced Aemond’s face as he rubbed his hand over her filthy head of hair. Catching his attention as she walked to the mesh fence of the chickens enclosure Aemond trudged his way over, meeting her at the fence.

‘You okay?’ Dahlia asked concerned.

‘Erm Balerions… Cole found a lump on his stomach, could just be a cyst but… could be something worse’

‘Oh my god’

‘He’s gonna take him for a scan and take some bloods…mum’s gonna be crushed’ Aemond grumbled, leaning his elbows on the fence and burying his face into his hands.

‘Is he your mum’s horse?’ Dahlia questioned softly, watching Criston Cole drive his trailer down towards the stables.

‘No he was my dads, last thing she has of him not that she ever really bothers with him. There was a whole bunch of drama when dad passed over who was going to keep him us or my sister, mum fought tooth and nail to keep him here’ Aemond sighed, looking up at her where she stood straight in front of his hunched over form.

‘Well hopefully it won’t be anything too serious’ Dahlia offered him a comforting smile, squeezing his arm gently.

‘Do you need me to do anything?’

‘No I’m just gonna help get him in the trailer’

‘Well I’m gonna go take a shower and stuff but if you need me for anything just give me a shout okay?’ she smiled at him, exiting the chicken coop and beginning up the hill to the house.

Aemond agreed with a small nod and watched her stroll up the grass, her hips swinging gracefully, mesmerizing him even if she was covered in mud.

Dahlia had managed to dodge questions hurled at her by Haelena over why her fathers horse was being taken off the farm, feeling it best to leave that topic for Aemond to explain. Her hot shower worked wonders getting the dirt out of her hair and off her hands and face but it did little to wash away the memory of being lay on top of his hard toned body, his breath fanning over her face from being so close, still sweet from the candied oranges Haelena had offered everyone for breakfast.

Opting for her gym leggings and an oversized jumper Dahlia returned downstairs to assist in the making of dinner, Baela had suggested making a pasta bake as something easy to get the family through the heavy news that Aemond had just delivered to his mother. She watched through the kitchen door as Aemond sat comforting a weeping Alicent.

‘So what’s going on with you two?’ Baela questioned, pulling her gaze from the sorrowful family.

‘What?’ Dahlia asked confused with expecting looks she was receiving from Jace, Luke and Rhaena, who had been instructed to set the table.

‘You and Aemond?’ Baela pressed

‘What about us?’ she continued playing innocent.

‘Come on! It’s so obvious that there’s… heat between you guys, I saw the look last night!’ Baela grinned while continuing to dish up the pasta bake evenly onto plates.

Dahlia scoffed in disbelief, like the very idea of her having sexual tension with what she believed to be one of the most attractive men she had ever met was unthinkable.

‘Oh look she’s blushing’ Luke teased

‘There is nothing between me and Aemond! We’re just friends!’ Dahlia attempted to defend herself.

‘Oh right friends… didn’t you guys hate each other like two days ago?!’ Rhaena joined in.

‘Who hated who two days ago?’ Aegon questioned joining them in the kitchen, along with a teary Alicent and Haelena and an exhausted Aemond.

‘Dahlia and Aem-‘ Rhaena started blurting out before Jace clamped his hand over her mouth and Baela yelled over her.

‘DINNERS READY!’

Everyone seated themselves and tucked into their dinner, eating mainly in silence other than the short conversations that Aegon attempted to break the heavy silence. Alicent didn’t stay for post dinner conversation, vacating the kitchen as soon as she had eaten her fill. Aegon retreated to his room not long after to avoid having to help clean up.

Aemond retreated out to the bench that sat just outside of the sliding kitchen doors, slumping down onto the wooden seat and letting out the breath he felt he had been holding in all night. His head was pounding and his back was hurting from the tumble and he just wanted to sleep but the grey clouds looming over head made him aware that his jobs for the day were likely not finished.  

His eye focused on the stables just down the hill, the building that should be housing the big stallion, he sat just staring out over the land, feeling his chest get tight at the unpredictability of the test results. How was he supposed to wait two days to find out?! The rain began to patter against the ground lightly, granting him a soothing white noise while he sat out on his own.

The doors slid open after a half hour and interrupted his serenity with the chatter and radio music pouring out of the kitchen.

‘Hey, you okay?’ Dahlia asked gently, sliding the doors shut behind her.

‘Yeah, just getting a bit loud in there and my heads booming’ He smiled, trying to playoff the severity of the pain resonating behind his eye.

Dahlia didn’t say a thing before disappearing back inside, leaving the doors open behind her. Aemond sat watching the space that she had just vacated before she returned with a glass of water and a box on pain killers. She nudged his leg with her knee prompting to slide over and allow to sit next to him.

‘Here’ she mumbled handing him the glass and tablets.

‘Thank you’ Aemond grimaced after throwing them in his mouth and gulping the water down.

He leant back in his seat and huffed, nibbling on the dry skin on his lip and watching the rain that continued at a relenting pace.

‘Is there anything I can do?’ Dahlia asked, hoping to be able to relieve some of the pressure he was so obviously feeling.

‘Not really, just got to wait for the test results and go from there… I just have no idea what’s gonna happen if it comes back as something worse than a cyst’ he grumbled rolling his head back onto his shoulder, his long silver hair now clean and tied loosely in a messy bun at the base of his neck.

‘This isn’t your fault you know’ she said abruptly, meeting his eye when it shot to her.

‘You’re obviously blaming yourself but you couldn’t have known’

‘Bullshit, I was the one that was supposed to be looking after him, I was the one that mum trusted to take care of him and I’ve missed a lump the size of a golf ball!’

‘Anyone could have missed it! Besides if he was in pain or feeling off he would have let you know and you know he would have, there isn’t anything you could have done differently’

‘Cole found it!’ he argued, standing up and leaning forward against the small wooden fence opposite the bench.

‘I should have been checking him properly instead of just running over him with a brush, I should’ve paid more attention, I should’ve-‘

‘Aemond there is nothing you could have done, even if you had been the one to find it! He would still have to have the tests’ she retorted, sitting up straighter and examining all the curves of his back.

‘I just don’t think mum is gonna be able to deal with it if it’s bad news, she’s gonna be a wreck’ he mumbled.

‘Well then you’ve got Hel and Aegon to help you get her through it and you guys are stuck with me for another few weeks so’ Dahlia offered him a comforting smile as she stood to stand next to him.

‘That doesn’t make me feel better’ he chuckled lightly.

‘And here I was feeling bad for laughing at you falling before… look just don’t assume it’s going to be bad news, it could be nothing’.

Aemond inhaled deeply and straightened his back, making him tower over her small form. He dodged her eye contact for a moment, trying to let himself untense.

‘You’re right… it could be nothing I’m just… it’s been a shitty day’ he sighed.

‘Oh I don’t know, seeing you lying in the mud brightened my day up’ Dahlia smirked.

‘It’s a good thing you’re cute you know otherwise you’d be on your ass right now’ Aemond grinned, chuckling at her until he realised what had slipped out of his mouth.

Dahlia locked eyes with him and couldn’t help the blush that crept up her neck, her face growing hotter by the second, she didn’t miss the same colour peaking through his porcelain skin. The eye contact between them became too heavy for her to uphold and she averted her gaze to her right, watching the rain fall grow alarmingly heavy as black clouds loomed overhead, promising a stormy night.

‘We should probably make sure all of the bales are covered’ Dahlia muttered, her heart pounding in her ears as her blood rushed through her body, he thought she as cute!

‘Yeah, I should probably check in on the horses’ Aemond stuttered back, not waiting for her to grab her coat or even grab his own before wandering out into the heavy downpour, shirt becoming saturated and clinging to his form almost instantly.

Dahlia couldn’t help the grin that slipped onto her face as his obvious discomfort, she liked that she had that effect on him. Adorning her raincoat and wellies, she padded her way down and off the farm with Aegon, assisting him in ensuring all of the animals in his care were okay and sheltered, making sure that their stock of Hay was wrapped or in a dry place away from the downpour.  

‘Malary!’ Haelena yelled at the duck waddling away from her, after having just nipped at her finger causing the woman to drop the bird allowing it to wander back to the puddle in which she had just collected it from.

‘I’ll usher her from this way you just get ready to open the door!’ Aegon yelled over the clashing of rain as he joined his sister in the small, fenced pen.

Watching her best friend chasing small birds through the pouring rain with her brother filled Dahlia’s chest with something she couldn’t quite pinpoint. It could have been envy, seeing Haelena have the family dynamic that she had dreamed of having since she was a child. It could have been joy from seeing her best friend so happy, loved the way she deserved or it could have been that she was feeling accepted as one of the family, that she was part of something that wasn’t toxic and set to destroy her.

Her attention was pulled away from the siblings by a loud clatter and an indistinct yell from inside the barn. Upon entering she found Aemond struggling to lead SunFyre into the same pen as Meleys. She let out a small chuckle at the sight of him soaked to the core, arguing with a horse and fighting with a wooden gate, all while trying not to get trampled by the panicking horse already in the enclosure.

‘Once you’re done laughing, would you mind helping me out?’ Aemond grumbled, seeing her in the doorway just watching him.

The rain hammering on the roof of the stables only made Meleys all the more nervous, Aemond allowed Dahlia to take control of SunFyre while he entered the pen first and did his best to calm the animal down. Once they had both horses inside, they began fitting their reins and tying them off onto the hitching post.

‘SunFyre is his calming buddy right?’ Dahlia asked while threading the leather rein through the loop she had created.

‘Well, it’s usually Balerion but Meleys seems to get on with SunFyre so he should be good’ Aemond answered from behind her.

The pair of them were wedged between the two horses, backs almost flush against each other while they secured the Palfreys. The more the horses stomped and wiggled about the more the pair were pressed into each other. She couldn’t feel his warmth or toned back through her raincoat but she could smell him, the intense scent of his aftershave mixed with the dampness of the down pour that had soaked through his shirt. Dahlia could barely concentrate on her hands while her brain was swimming in him.

‘Shit’ she whispered when her knot came undone almost instantly, SunFyre managed to stomp away from the rear wall slightly.

‘Here’ His voice rumbled down her ear as he turned his body in the small space to face SunFyre, his body pressing against hers, his arms coming around her and guiding her hands to tie a secure knot.

Dahlia’s mind was drowning, his breath fanning over her ear and neck, her ass cheeks fitting into the curve of his crotch perfectly, she felt like she was going to scream. Her entire body was on fire, delicious shivers running through her body leaving her with goosebumps. Once his long fingers were done guiding hers through the process of securing the horse, he retracted his left arm while the right patted down the smooth coat. Dahlia closed her eyes and took a deep breath, preparing to move herself out of the heated situation. She only got as far as turning slightly to walk away but was blocked by his arm that was still petting SunFyre, she could feel his eyes burning into her. Dahlia caved almost instantly and turned to face him. Her back now brushing against the soothing horse, her chest grazed over his with each breath they took, reluctantly her eyes lifted and found his looking right back at her, searching her eyes for any sign of reluctance or regret. She wasn’t sure if she wanted him to be able to see how much she was burning for him, how badly she wanted him to just grab her and take her right there, or if she should just act as though he had no effect on her, like he was just another guy, the same guy that she almost loathed a few days ago.

Dahlia didn’t have much time to decide before she felt Aemond’s left hand on her side, his big fingers splaying out across hip, pressing into her flesh through her clothing. The heat from his breath spread a tingling warmth across her cheeks as his head moved closer to her, Aemond didn’t break eye contact with her, not when her breath hitched or when her hand moved and pressed against his chest softly, gripping his shirt tightly. It wasn’t until he felt his nose brush against hers and smelt her hot sweet breath floating over him, did he move his eyes to look down at her lips. Dahlia’s eye lashes fluttered as she closed her eyes, the faintest brush of their lips setting her on fire. She waited, waited to feel his mouth envelope hers, to see what he tasted like and to feel that rush of finally getting to kiss him. She waited… and waited but it never came. What came instead what the sound of boots slapping through the rain and wet mud outside and then a voice, that pulled them straight from the steamy situation they had happily found themselves in.

‘Hello?! Can someone come and help me cover the plant beds? They’re flooding!’ Jace’s voice boomed off the walls of the stables over the rain.

Aemond closed his eyes and released gentle sigh, his fingers digging into hips a little as Dahlia pulled her head back and inhaled deeply.

‘Yeah I’ll be out now!’ she managed to choke out, her heart still pounding in her ears but still able to hear Jace walk away.

Aemond’s iridescent purple eyes scanned through hers, both of them still a little breathless. Dahlia broke the eye contact and looked down at her boots, swallowing heavily before ducking under his arm that was blocking her exit, leaving him stood there. She followed Jace out of the barn back into rain, she almost slipped in the wet mud as she jogged over to where Jace was struggling to get the dustsheet evenly over the plant beds.

She could still smell his breathe, his aftershave in her. Hells she could practically taste him! Dahlia’s head was swimming with pictures of kissing him, touching him and being consumed by him! She imagined his tongue would taste like chamomile tea and spiced apples. His bare chest would be hard but his pale skin would be warm under her hands, his hair would float through her fingers like silk and it would smell like the guava shampoo she assumed he used.

Aemond watched her walk away from the stables from his position leaning against the door, he loathed his nephew for pulling her out of his arms, almost as much as he loathed her raincoat from covering her behind. Pulling all of his strength together Aemond pulled himself back to securing his horses and padding out their stalls with extra straw.

She hadn’t said anything she had just walked out like they weren’t seconds away from kissing! This was the second time today they had been on the brink of falling of the edge of that cliff, where there was no coming back from that heat. Was she just trying to get into his head? Using her body to make him vulnerable before crushing his ego and humiliating him?! Aemond knew that was farfetched, she wasn’t the type of girl to demean herself like that just to embarrass him. Maybe it was the fact that he was her best friend’s younger brother, that she didn’t want to jeopardize her friendship with Haelena over what could potentially turn out to be just a fling. Or perhaps she was feeling just as frustrated and confused as he was, with all the fleeting touches and heavy breathing.

Whatever the reason was, he had made his way from the stables, through the rain and up the stairs towards her room. Either he could talk to her about what was happening and settle the air between them… or he could fuck her senseless. As Aemond padded his way up the last few of the stairs onto the third-floor landing, he took a deep breath, he needed to prepare himself no matter what the outcome was. The closer he got to her door the more his palms seemed to sweat, Aemond wasn’t used to getting shot down, granted he didn’t tend to ask people out but when he did the answer was very rarely a no.

Aemond lifted his hand to knock on her bedroom door, knuckles gliding through the air but coming to a dead stop before that rapped against the heavy oak of her door. The faint whimpers were muffled by the blocking door between them, the soft hum of Dahlia’s voice floating through his ears like music, it was almost pained. He would have burst into the room to ensure she was not hurt but after taking a step closer and holding his ear to the door he knew; she was not in any form of pain.

The hairs on his arm stood on end with the delicious shiver that ran through his body listening to her, she was pleasuring herself, at least he hoped she was by herself and didn’t have Aegon or someone in there with her. She moaned and gasped, clearly enjoying whatever depraved action she was inflicting on herself. Aemond knew he should walk away, stop listening in on her personal moment and give her some privacy but his feet remained planted to the carpet outside of her room. He was glued to the sound of her, the image her moans were painting in his mind made his heart race and his pants grow tighter. He had no intention of grabbing himself through his jeans but he couldn’t help himself, they had grown incredibly uncomfortable.

Her moans were like sweet music to his ears, sweet taboo music. He knew he could just twist that handle, walk into her room and take over for her but he just stood there and listened. He was not the type of person that did this kind of thing, he couldn’t even watch porn without feeling disgusting and foolish. He knew he needed to leave and he tried. Turning on his heel with a heavy sigh he took one step away from Dahlia’s door, hand still rubbing his hard cock through his pants. That one step was all he managed to take however before the irritating sound of Aegon’s awful singing voice sounded from the bottom of the staircase to the third-floor landing. Aemond was screwed, his brother now being halfway up the stairs he knew he wasn’t going to make it to the other end of the hallway without him or his raging erection being seen. His only escape was to slide into the airing cupboard adjacent to Dahlia’s room, shutting the door softly behind him.

His plan was to just wait until Aegon had gone into his room and then he was going to slip out of the cupboard and head straight back to his room, whether he copied Dahia’s idea and dealt with himself was a decision he would make in the safety of his own abode. However once again his plan was thwarted as soon as he noticed the small beam of light coming into the otherwise pitch-black cupboard, Aemond had an inkling what sight was waiting for him on the other side of the wall that held the puncture, Dahlias moans had begun to pierce his ears a lot clearer. Despite all of his self-respect and honour screaming at him not too, he moved his face closer to the gap and peered through, and just as he had suspected there she was. He could see no more that her head and chest but he didn’t need to, her face alone sent his mind swirling into the dirtiest thoughts. Her eyes closed and mouth open with her lips pouted, eyebrows scrunched as she concentrated on whatever it was that he hands were doing.

‘Fuck’ Aemond mumbled to himself pulling his gaze away from the luxurious sight in front of him.

He shouldn’t be doing this, Aegon would surely be in his room by now, he could just slip out and go back to his room and forget that any of this happened. No matter how much he rubbed himself through his pant it would never feel as good as it would if he just went back and got himself comfy, he could just memorise what he had seen. But no one knew he was there or what was going on and he wasn’t going to say anything so who was he hurting really? Despite his best efforts to control himself Aemond still unbuttoned his jeans and released his hardness. Breathing deeply as the sudden contact of his cold hand he placed his face back against the wall, looking in on the girl he so desperately wanted.

Aemond palmed the head of his sensitive cock gently and slowly worked his hand down his shaft, all the while watching Dahlia’s face contort with pleasure, her chest rises and falling as she gasped and whimpered. He let out a soft groan, sliding his hand up and down his cock, listening to the sounds coming out of her. He bit his lip, working himself faster to relieve the pressure that growing in him the closer Dahlia evidently got to her climax. He could just envision what was going on behind the wall that was blocking his view from the rest of her perfect body, her legs spread, her hand moving over her wet pussy, rubbing over her tender clit or fucking herself with her own fingers, maybe even both. Gods he wanted to bury his face between her legs, he would never leave. He worked his hard on faster and faster, jerking his hips lightly into his hand.

It was the soft groan on his name that flowed from Dahlia’s lips that sent him over the edge, his available hand jolting up to grab hold of the door frame to steady himself as his eyes rolled back and hot strings of cum coated his hand and trousers. His heart pounded heavily in his ears that it almost blocked out the continuing noises that seeped from her mouth. It only took a few seconds for it to sink in what he had just done, that sickening feeling of guilt and disgust seeped into his bones.

He was stood in an airing cupboard, cock going soft in his cum covered hand after he had spied on his sister’s friend playing with herself, this was something his brother would do not him! He was a pervert! The fact that she had been playing with herself to the thought of him had made him cum and he would have loved to watch her finish herself and hope that he was the one that had gotten her there but he couldn’t stay to watch. He needed to leave and act like it had never happened, he felt like scum.

Calming his breathing down enough, he grabbed a hand towel off the shelf above him and cleaned his hand, shoving his cock back into his pants. Once he was sure the coast was clear he slipped out of the cupboard and padded back to his bedroom, shutting the door gently behind him. Aemond headed straight for the shower, to scrub himself clean.

[orb-the-watchman]

Orb I feel like someone has probably already asked this (and I can probably guess the answer)- but who is your favorite grumpus to draw?

I answered this before but I’ll answer again cause it’s kinda changed? At this point I’ve drawn all the grumpuses so much that they’ve basically become the same in terms of drawing them-I just still struggle drawing Snorpy’s face sometimes or other small details on other characters. But for the most part I think Gramble is pretty fun to draw. I like making the leaves on his hat really long to make it look like he has floppy ears

I’ve also drawn Triffany so much that she’s basically my shorthand at this point. I like drawing Triffany a lot too, sans her vest. The pockets on her vest are really annoying lol

[thegrumparoundthecorner]

clothes in grumpus society would be pretty hard to get for two main reasons:

grumpuses have wildly different proportions from eachother which makes it basically impossible to mass produce clothes, that means the only way to get well-fitting clothes is to go to a tailor or seamstress

clothes are completely optional and usually unnecessary when you have fur, which adds to the first point that mass producing clothes would not be profitable

this means that when a character wears clothes thats a big deal and it could say alot about them

now that I've explained my thought process, here are my headcanons about every character that wears clothes (not counting hats or other accessories):

Wambus: the vest helps block direct sunlight when working outside for long periods of time, he got it custom made before the expedition.

Gramble: he wears a sweater because he has patchy fur from stress, and his pets getting eaten probably didn't help, he knit the sweater himself.

Wiggle: in the credits artwork she is wearing what looks like a fur coat, she probably has more clothes like this because she's a celebrity, idk I don't have much to say here.

Triffany: same as Wambus, the jacket protects from the sun and has lots of pockets to hold tools or shiny things, she got it custom made.

Chandlo: the tank top is the only item of clothing he has and the only reason he wears it is because he thought it wold be unprofessional to be undressed, he got it when he used to play for a baskesball team.

Snorpy: in the credits artwork he is wearing a tank top and shorts, this is important because he is the only character that wears a full set of clothes in the whole game. he naturally has thin fur (in the dlc he talks about putting on sunscreen) and he has been losing fur from stress about the Grumpinati, he got the clothes custom made after returning from snaktooth. as for the apron, it is one of the things that can be mass produced because the only thing that needs adjusting is the straps.

Shelda: in the credits artwork she is wearing a long sleeve sweater, she is old, skinny and is probably loosing fur so it's not a surprise that she gets cold easily, she got the sweater as a gift from a family relative, she also had it with her at snaktooth but never wore it because she spent most of her time in the desert.

Floofty: in the credits artwork they are wearing a lab coat, the only thing confusing about that is why they didn't wear lab coat at snaktooth, it is important protection when doing experiments and it totally makes sense to get one custom made. my reasoning is that floofty isn't really the "safety first" kind of person and they never got any serious injuries from an experiment gone wrong so they just didn't bother, but when they became a teacher/professor they started wearing a lab coat to set an example for students who are more likely to mess up and get hurt.

eggabell and lizbert are wearing matching shirts in one of the photos in their hut, they got them for their anniversary. the shirts don't have a purpose egg and liz are just cheesy like that

SPOILERS FOR DLC UNDER CUT

alegander wears a sweater in the image we see of him. we dont know much about him so I don't have many thoughts

maybe the triplicate space is cold, maybe he wanted to look professional, maybe that's an old photo and he doesn't wear that sweater anymore.

same thing for how he got it, maybe he has someone close to him who made it for him, maybe he stole it from gramble, maybe he just cares alot about how he looks so he had lots of clothes unrelated to the snakolytes

SPOILERS END

Filbo, beffica, cromdo and clumby don't wear clothes

an extra headcanon is that when grumpuses get wet they feel naked because their fur sticks to their body. this explains why snorpy got clothes for working out, but this could also be used an excuse for why swimming clothes would exist for grumpuses

[treefory]

Beffica snoops

912 words

Everyday Beffica walked around Snaxburg, snooping through the others huts while they weren’t there. But she could never get into Gramble’s barn. Every morning his barn door was locked, but if she pressed her ear up against the door she could hear him inside. It was like this every morning

She’d try and find a crack in the wood so that she could see inside. But to her dismay she could never find one. She even tried to see through the door that connected to the pen, but of course she couldn’t. she was just dying to know what he was doing.

That afternoon she was making her way over to Floofty’s hut for some casual snooping when a tall yellow grumpus caught her eye. Snorpy stood over his seismometer while taking notes in his journal.

“Hey Snorpy!” She called as walked over to him

Snorpy fumbled as he slammed his journal shut “Beffica! What are you doing over here?”

“Oh nothing,” she shrugged “just wondering if you could help me with something.”

“If this is one of your tactics to go through my things again then you’d best run along.” He said with a scowl

“Oh please, I’ve already been through your things. And besides, I just need to borrow something-“

“If it’s something to aid in your disrespect in basic privacy, then I won’t be helping you.” He interrupted as he turned back to his machine

“Ugh” Beffica rolled her eyes and started to walk away. But then the perfect plan came to her

“Hey, you know how Gramble sleepwalks around town?” She asked without turning to face Snorpy

“Yes Beffica, everyone knows.”

“Well what if he’s not really sleepwalking?”

He looked up from his machine “what do you mean?”

“well what if he’s actually collecting dirt for the gru-“

“The Grumpinati? Y-you think he might be?”

Beffica turned around “well maybe,” she shrugged, “but I’d need your help to find out.”

“Well what do you need? If need be I could make something.”

“Every morning Gamble's door is locked and I need your help opening it.”

“So a lock pick? Don’t worry Beffica, I'll have one made by tomorrow!” He said as scrambled over to his forge.

“Perfect.” She purred.

— — —

A calm purple hue laid over snacktooth Island as the sun had just begun to rise. Beffica slept in her bed soundly. The faint sounds of her floor boards creaking filled her ears.

“Wha…?” She whispered as she began to open her eyes. Her gaze was filled by a tall yellow grumpus standing over her. Her eyes shot open and she inhaled sharply, preparing to scream. Only to be shushed by Snorpy.

“Hush! We don’t need to wake the entire town.” he whispered

“Oh my gawd, Snorpy! You almost gave me a grumping heart attack!” She said through gritted teeth

He pulled out multiple lock picks out of his apron pocket. “The lock picks are done, let’s see what he’s really doing in there before we’re silenced by the Grumpinati!”

“Uh yeah just let me get my camera.”

— — —

The two walked over to the barn, They both pressed their heads up to the barn door. Sounds of happy bugsnaxs filled their ears.

“He's in there alright.” Beffica whispered

“He must be relaying his information back to them!” He whispered back

Beffica pulled the lock into her paw “hand me a pick.”

“You know how to pick locks?”

“Uh yeah. Now stop asking questions and give me one already!” She whispered angrily

“How interesting…” he said as he gave her one

She twisted the pick in the lock just for it to snap. “Another one.” She requested

“I only made three.” He handed her another “so make it count.”

She began picking the lock again, the sound of the pins slipping into place filled the air

SNAP

“Grump! Give me the other one.”

“Last one, be careful.”

Her paws worked carefully as she slid the last pins in place

CLICK

“I did it!” She said as she held the opened lock in her paws

Together the two placed their paws on the door and on three, they pushed it open

At the same time their mouths fell agape as their gaze was filled by Gramble sitting on the floor. His once pink fur was smothered in chocolate sauce. Strabbys, peelbugs, and kweebles that once crawled all over him now stared at Beffica and Snorpy.

“I… I can explain…” Gramble began

Without breaking eye contact Beffica pulled out her camera and snapped a picture of the embarrassing scene in front of her.

Snorpy pulled the barn doors shut.

They stood in front of the door just staring at it, minds still processing what they had just seen

“That had to be the best dirt I have ever seen…” Beffica whispered to herself

“That was NOT what I was expecting...” Snorpy said as he put the lock back on the door “we must never speak of this again.”

“Yeah, I’m going back to bed.” She pulled the picture from her camera “and this little baby is going in my diary. Thanks bestie! ;0)”

“Do not ever include me in your snooping shenanigans EVER again!” Snorpy snaped

“And I am not your “bestie”. Now if you do not mind, I'm going to be writing a hand written apology to Gramble.” He continued

And like that Snorpy stormed off while muttering things about Gramble and Beffica

“I- ugh! Whatever, you weren’t bestie material anyways…”

[sarilolla]

So since I have been talking a bit about my bugsnax au recently (and probably will post some of it), I have decided to post a reference for my journalist oc! I used the official grumpus picrew to make a decent visual reference

Budleby “Buddy” M. Butterbean

27 years old (when the game story happens)

They/them, pan

Younger sibling of Elizabert Megafig (younger by 5 years)

Wanted to make a name for themselves, and that’s why they don’t use the Megafig name with any form of work

Canon height and body type

Dark grey, almost black fur. Has a thick stripe of white markings on both arms (across the biceps), as well as a white circle mark on their back

I think tails and toe beans are fun, so they have a thin tail with a hair thuft on the end which is white as well as the toe and paw beans

Their hat was a gift from Lizbert and Eggabell once they got a full time job at GNN, so they could have a proper journalist hat. They also wear a lighter brown sleeveless coat, both to hide the mark on their back, and to have many pockets for stuff they need

They have had headaches and weird dreams/nightmares since they were little, but they stopped at Snaxtooth

Decent/good relationship with all of the krew, but closer with the ones they knew before plus Triffany and the Fizzlebeans

“Adopts” both Sprout and Joey Quickbeans during their stay at Snaxtooth

Allergic to Bugsnax, but thought relativly ahead of time and had good stock of canned food and water. The water lasts the entire trip, the food does not, so they have to rely on sauce after around a month

Very helpful, usually puts others safety above their own, but has a "done with everyone" attitude at times. Uses the "catching bugsnax" excuse when they don't think they can help Filbo take down an argument (They genuinely help Filbo a lot, and they become very close both at Snaxtooth and after (no romance though since Lizbert sees Filbo as a younger brother, and Buddy sees him as a sibling as well after a while))

Looks up to Clumby as a mentor, which is why it hurt them a bit extra when they were fired, even more with the knowledge Clumby was a snakolyte and they and the krew could be in danger

Travels a lot alone, but has contacts everywhere, making it difficult for the snakolytes to make any of the krew "disappear". Travels by train or bus, but prefers their airship. The airship is named "Theseus", because they like mythology and think "the ship of Theseus" is an interesting dilemma. They look at it a bit different after Snaxtooth though-

A good cook! Very disappointed they couldn't do anything at Snaxtooth, as they neither had the materials and the others were more interested in eating bugsnax anyway, but they get to show off afterwards (Lizbert only eating meals prepared by them or Eggabell)

That's everything for now ^^

[kaytjohanna]

Budleguard Kibblequill, ex-journalist for GNN and now part-time photographer and full time campaign manager for Mayor Filbo Fiddlepie, raised their camera and captured this victorious moment. With every grumpus settled around, and cheering on their bashful mayor, they knew.

They just knew.

They were right where they belonged.

But...

Buddy turned around, looking at the crowd, as a glimmering sign of a turquoise, triangular key shone from within their pockets and into their eyes, their fur standing on end.

They swore they felt someone staring.

A picture I drew based on the scene from my Queen Buddy AU on AO3, Arc 1: Journey's End (The Rise)!

If you're interested, feel free to go to this link

And have a read! Enjoy! :D

[fungusry]

Mmm I wanna make Grumpus bases for adoptables… I’ve got a few designs rattling around in my pocket that I wanna put down on paper!!

[vicarious-lee-12]

INFO - READ THIS BEFORE INTERACTING PLS

hello! i’m Cypher, i go by she/they, and this is an SFW, tickling-related blog! (emphasis on the SFW part.) this is NOT a k!nk blog or anything - just something that interests me. i’m aromantic (romance-repulsed) and asexual (sex-repulsed). to me, tickling is just a fluffy, platonic form of intimacy between people that i enjoy!

Do Not Interact: the usual stuff - proshippers, bigots, queerphobes, racists, sexists, assholes in general. but ALSO please don’t interact if you are an NSFW/k!nk/f3tish blog. I AM A MINOR (17 as of September 2024), so PLEASE respect that.

if i have interacted with you and you’re an NSFW blog and/or are uncomfortable with minors interacting, please let me know! it was most likely a mistake on my part, and i will try to fix it as soon as possible.

if you interact with me, please use tone tags if you can! they make it much easier for me to interact with people.

also - i don’t roleplay or do teases, so please don’t ask me to.

ANYWAYS - back to the fun stuff!

Request status:

ART REQUESTS - CLOSED

FIC/DRABBLE REQUESTS - CLOSED

HEADCANON REQUESTS - OPEN

fandom list + their corresponding tags under the cut (because this post is getting long):

Bold = Main fixation(s) at the moment

Italic = Not as focused on this one anymore

Strikethrough = Interested in, but WILL NOT personally write/draw for because reasons

(note: all of these are subject to change.)

Pokemon - #monsters in pocket

Undertale - #the game with sans in it

Danganronpa - #dingus grumpus / #dingus grumpus 2 / #dingus grumpus v3

Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss - #funny red hell show / #funny red hell show but the other one

FNAF - #the ferdy faber games

Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared - #the traumatized puppets

Wings of Fire - #that cool dragon book series

OTHER IMPORTANT TAGS:

#cypher talks (my basic text posts)

#cypher does art :O (my art tag)

#cypher’s silly little OCs (original characters i made)

#cypher writes a thing (my fic/drabble/headcanon tag)

#cypher says some serious stuff (serious posts)

#tk related (tickling-related stuff)

#tk art (tickling-related art)

#tk fic (tickling-related writing)

#cypher requests (art/drabbles that i have requested on someone else’s blog)

and that’s pretty much it! enjoy the blog :)

[eclectus]

Pocket grumpus Frogtallo returns. The hand represents an unkind comparison.

Fine, he will come along. But underestimate him at your own peril.

GIF from the amazing @charger-lens 🐸

[lynnesgalaxy]

Stingypatch fam doodles!

First we have baby Creetus alongside Makareela, the youngest of the seven siblings. He pretty much took on the task of raising her form the moment she was born, which meant he was often concerned about the amount of fights she tends to get herself into and had to constantly look after her.

Then we have Gabert's side of the fam, featuring their wife and daughter! Coreen's a pretty chill (and small) gal, and Seela clearly took pretty much after the Stingypatch side rather than anything

[thegalleonsnest]

Exhausted

Another piece of pre-Snaktooth Chordical. Another long day of the same old stressful things. Any amount of alone time is worth the rest. Though, he’s about receive an unexpected call that’s about to change his life.

I also made a drabble to accompany the doodle so if ya’ll wanna read that, here ya go in Keep Reading

The twilight colors slowly fade out from the sky as dusk looms over the green Grumpus, carrying a small stack of letters and junk mail in one paw, and a set of jingling keys in the other. He walked across the lawn and reached his door, flicking through the set until he found the one he needed. The door opened with ease, as a soft, dim lamp from across the hall greeted him and not much else.

“I’m home,” he yelled, but his announcement was met with silence. He gave out a long sigh. “Oh thank grump…” An actual welcome indicator more than anything. Chordical had some time to himself for at least an hour or so before they got back. Dropping off his keys at the end table near the door, he skimmed through the mail and dropped off whatever wasn’t his alongside it. A couple of loan bills for himself and a few interesting flyers to read through later.

The house was dark and quiet with only the sound of his footsteps breaking the silence as he roamed towards the kitchen. Flicking on the lights, grabbing a snack from the pantry and a bottle of apple juice from the fridge, he walked to his room. The frown on his face creeped up when he realized it was kind of a mess. Random receipts littered his end table, his coffee table had nothing but his art supplies skewed about, and the chaotic organization of his desk wasn’t looking so hot either.

“Soon, I guess,” he said for the umpteenth time, as he dropped everything he was carrying onto the small free corner of his coffee table. He took off his jacket and threw it over his couch and let his body fall back onto the soft cushions. The day’s exhaustion finally hit him as he closed his eyes and let out a drawn out breath. He could almost fall asleep like this, but wasting free time like this is a crime against his nature. Still had to at least eat something. Not to mention the mail just sitting there.

Prying open his eyes, staring right at the ceiling with a sorrowful expression. Couldn’t help but just keep looking.  Hoping this tiny bit of respite lasts until he sleeps later.

“Alrighty then,” He hunched over with his head hanging low before staring at the stack of letters. His paw wandered to his drink first, twisting the cap off with a satisfying snap, and took a long swig. Refreshing, he thought. Been awhile since he had a healthy drink besides water and soda. Placing down the bottle, he swiped the letters and started ripping through them. No time to be clean and fancy. 

Most of it was the usual: personal phone bill, internet, magazine subscription. The stuff where Chordical’s paycheck went if it wasn’t helping out around the house. There were a couple of other letters that were just junk mail, but it was still funny to look through. The occasional coupon page appeared that was actually worth something. Oh, whoops, looks like the newspaper slipped through-

RING, RING, RING

The grass furred grumpus jumped out of his skin as he threw himself back against the couch, paw on chest. Panicking as he snapped his head to the side to where the ringtone was coming from. His phone was buzzing from his jacket pocket. He should have expected it, honestly. He didn’t exactly call anyone when he got back, especially since no one knew when he was coming home. Dreadfully, he reached over and pulled it out. Out of instinct, he closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and hit the answer button.

“Hey, sorry I-”

“Hello! Is this Chordical Gallopano?” 

An unfamiliar voice immediately broke his train of thought. Well, it was a relief to know it was someone else, but the next thought that this could have been a scammer, but they knew his name.

“Y-yes? That’s me.”

“Excellent! Mr. Gallopano, we’re calling you today to inform you about the convention raffle you’ve entered in January. You’ve won 1st place!”

Chordical’s face had the most confusing, slack jawed look he could give the air. Really? I won a raffle? I haven’t won a prize drawing since I was eight, he thought. However, another thought crossed his mind.

“Wait, that’s cool, but what was the raffle for again? Sorry, my memory’s kind of fuzzy, it’s been awhile.”

“Oh, it was for a free vacation of your choosing! Of course, it has to be one that’s currently available within the states, and eligible within our raffle.”

He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. His paw unconsciously covered his mouth just taking it all in. There was no way this was happening right now; a vacation? A real trip? To anywhere he wanted? This was way too sudden, his mind was drawing a blank!

“You’re serious? I can go anywhere I want,” his disbelief in his voice was apparent. “And ya’ll will pay for it?”

“Yes, it’s all covered! You can stay at a hotel for a week or take a cruise for however long said cruise lasts. Again, as long as it’s all within the states, you’re good to go!”

Chordical sat straight up trying to figure out where to go, but there was another thing lingering in his mind. He had to ask.

“...How…is there a limit to how many Grumpuses I can take with me?”

“Oh, right, sorry sir, but unfortunately only the raffle winners are allowed the free trip, everything else will have to be paid for if another body were to accompany you.”

Somehow, that was the most relieving answer he could have heard. Without realizing it, he let out a deep breath. Truly, it was a vacation just for him. His eyes gazing once more over the newspaper on the table in front of him…

“Ok, that’s no problem. Just checking. Sorry, I don’t think I was ready for a call like this, haha.”

“Yes, I understand, sir. Most grumps we’ve called in weren’t ready for the news either. If you need time to decide your vacation, you can call us back at this number-”

“Wait,” Chordical snapped without realizing it. “Uhhhh, give me a minute.” His eyes continued to fixate on the newspaper article. An expedition…to Snaktooth Island…looking for members to join…spearheaded by…

“Hey, quick question, but is something like an ‘expedition’ count?” He held a piece of his thumb claw in his mouth, waiting for an answer. It felt like an eternity.

“Hmm…rules say that only eligible participating locations/destinations, but if the destination in question is open to negotiation, the company might be able to swing a deal.”

“So what about Elizabert Megafig’s Expedition?”

“Elizabert? I did hear about that, but we’ll have to contact her to see what the details are. We’ll be sure to let you know as soon as possible, but in case it doesn’t work out, you should look into another vacation destination just in case.”

“Alrighty then, sounds good! Thank you!”

“No problem, Mr. Gallopano. You have a goodnight!”

And with that, the phone beeps off, ending the call. He let his arm fall to the side in utter disbelief, and grabbed the newspaper…a place to start a small community and study a new undiscovered species…As impulsive of a decision as it might have been, this might be exactly what he was looking for. Something to finally take his mind off things and just catch a break-

Just before he could think of anything else, the phone buzzes and rings once more.

Oh, there’s the call.

[rendoesthedoodle]

I don’t think I ever posted this lil page of doodles, so here he is!

id start. It’s a doodle page of a Grumpus character from Bugsnax. He’s got blue fur with pink tipped hair and a matching tail. He’s wearing a yellow bandana in most instances, but is wearing a pink varsity jacket in one doodle. From left to right, the drawings are of him sitting down with a blank expression, a headshot of him gazing off to the side, him sitting but simplified with no arms, and him standing with his hands in his jacket pockets. id end.

[mxltifaves]

Hate is a Strong Word (Bucky Barnes)

Summary: Bucky x Y/N attends a therapy session after a mission gone wrong. You both love getting on each other’s nerves and after warnings from the rest of the Avengers, you don’t listen.

A/N: I've had this fic in my drafts for like two months and I don't know why I haven't posted it so here it is. Hope you enjoy it. Also, requests are open so If you have a fic in mind feel free to send it.

Ever since you joined the avengers you’ve always gotten along with everyone except with the one and only Bucky Barnes. You two were complete opposites, Bucky was very reserved and only really opened up to certain people while you were outgoing and loved to talk. When Bucky was under Hydra’s control, he was tasked to assassinate a man who threatened Hydra but your parents were killed in the crossfire. They were just at the wrong place at the wrong time. Nobody aside from Steve and Tony knew you knew about Bucky killing your parents. Despite knowing that you didn’t hold it against Bucky because he wasn’t himself.

After a mission gone wrong due to you two bickering, you ended up in therapy with Bucky. Tony thought it would be a good idea to clear the air between you two and make sure nothing like what happened, happened again. You and Bucky really didn’t want to do it but it wasn’t like you had any other choice. So there you were, sitting next to each other in a very dull room with a woman sitting across from you.

“Y/N, Bucky, I am Dr. Raynor. I will be your therapist. So tell me why you’re here today?”

As you prepared for your mission, Nat and Wanda came into your room. “Ready?” Wanda asked as they took a seat on your bed.

“Yeah, almost just a few more things,” you responded as you rummaged through your drawers.

“Are you and Barnes going to be okay?” Nat asked raising her brow

“What do you mean?” you asked confused

“Look, we've all noticed your hostility towards each other. It can go either two ways, you end up dead or between the sheets,” the read head raised her brow giving you a knowing look.

“First of all eww, I would never. Second of all, I’m not an idiot. We may argue a lot but we don’t let that get in between the job,” You responded with a serious look on your face

“Okay, if you say so,” she said, not believing you. Before you had a chance to respond, F.R.I.D.A.Y spoke over the intercom.

“Ms. y/l/n, Mr. Barnes would like to know if you are ready to go?”

“Can you tell him I need ten more minutes,” you responded, taking the opportunity to get him annoyed since you were already ready.

“He will not like that,” F.R.I.D.A.Y said

“I know,” you smirked. You sat on your bed waiting for ten minutes to pass. You knew Bucky hated when you took too long which is why you always did.

“You know he’s gonna come looking for you,” Wanda said to you

“No he won’t, he’ll just brood the entire way there,” you smiled.

“I don’t understand you two. There is some sexual tension there and you bicker to hide it,” Nat said confused but yet understood the nature of your relationship with Bucky. As much as you hated to admit it she was partially right. After chatting with Wanda and Nat for 10 minutes, you got up and made your way to the jet where Bucky was already waiting for you.

“What took you so long?” he asked annoyed

“Calm down grumpus, I had to take care of something,” you quickly defended yourself.

**Flashback**

“Because our “boss” is an arrogant ass and enjoys punishing us,” you said rolling your eyes.

“Mr. Stark brought me up to speed on your situation. So who would like to start?” she asked you and Bucky but neither of you answered. “No volunteers?” she asked looking at the two of you completely uninvested. “Okay then, y/n why don’t you start? Why does Bucky aggravate you?” she asked looking in your direction.

“I don’t know, we just can’t stand each other,” you answered

“Look the only way this will work is if you communicate,” Dr. Raynor said

“There’s nothing to communicate so I’m not sure what you want me to say,” you responded

“Okay, what about you Bucky? Why is it that you and y/n don’t get along?” she turned to Bucky who was fidgeting with his fingers.

“As she said, we just don’t,” he said coldly

“Okay, do you trust each other?” she asked

“I trust him, when it counts,” you responded feeling his eyes on you

“What she said,” he responded

“Okay, so tell me about the incident that happened during your mission,” she asked you both.

“We were supposed to gather some information on someone we’ve been trying to apprehend, it was supposed to be easy, ” you said, remembering the events that lead you here.

*Flashback*

“Are you going to be brooding the whole mission?” you asked him, making eye contact with Bucky, but he didn’t respond.

“I guess that answers my question,” you muttered

“So what’s the plan?” Bucky spoke

“He speaks,” you said, “We go in, get what we need, then get out,” you simply said, putting in the earpiece.

“So no plan,” he rolled his eyes

“That is the plan, it’s an easy mission. Just try not to get caught,” you responded.

‘Easier said than done,” he muttered

“Look we go in, you distract and I’ll use this handy flash drive to upload all their files into our servers. Quick and easy,” you explained

“Why do I have to distract them? You do it,” Bucky said

“Because you’re an old man and that doesn’t know how to use technology,” you said rolling your eyes

“I do know how to use technology, for your information,” Bucky said annoyed

“Barely,” you mumbled to yourself.

“Just hurry,” he said. You made your way over to the networking room, making sure nobody saw you or followed you. Once you made it inside you plugged in the drive downloading all the files onto it. “How we doing?” you heard over the comms.

“It’s downloading,” you said.

“Can you hurry it up?” he asked

“No, I can’t. If I hurry the files won’t properly transfer, meaning we would fail the mission and I don’t fail. So shut up and let me work,” You said as you continued typing.

“Work faster,” Bucky said causing you to roll your eyes at him. “I hate you,” you muttered thinking he wouldn’t hear you.

“Feeling’s mutual,” he said back. After a couple of minutes of silence, you heard Bucky speak. “Y/n, you got incoming,”

“I thought I told you to distract them,” you said frustrated.

“There’s only so much stalling I can do. I’m on my way to you,” he said. You tried to work faster but it was useless. The files still had about 10 percent to go, which seemed to go by slowly. You heard the doorknob move, pulling out your gun and pointing it towards it. The door was swung open only to reveal Bucky. “Easy there,” he said. “Jesus, Barnes a little warning next time. I could’ve shot you,” you rolled your eyes. “Trust me doll, you couldn’t even if you tried,” he smirked

“You wanna test that theory out?” you said annoyed.

“Later, right now we gotta get the hell out of here,” he said hurrying you.

“It’s not done,” you said pointing to the screen, only 6 percent left.

“Just leave it. We got enough,” Bucky urged you.

“No, it’s almost done. We can get it all,” you said turning back to the computer.

“Why do you have to be so goddamn stubborn?” he said under his breath. “I’ll keep watch, hurry,” he said going back to the door to make sure nobody was coming.

“Shit, y/n we have to leave,” he said as he saw guards turning the corner and making their way to you.

“Wait, it’s almost done,” you said.

“Y/n, now!” Bucky yelled at you.

“Okay I got it,” you said pulling out the drive. “Told you I could do it,” you said. As you were about to exit the room, gunshots started. Bucky pulled you back inside but you were already hit in the arm. “Shit, what the hell?” you cursed looking at your bleeding arm. “Now you see why I was hurrying you?” Bucky asked

“Now is not the time, Barnes,” you yelled at him, putting pressure on your arm.

“Why because I was right and you can’t handle me being right?” he asked

“Can we just get the hell out without dying?” you said

“Can you use your gun?” he asked

“Yeah,” you said groaning in pain. Bucky was the first one to peak out the door, gunshots still firing. He started firing back landing a few shots. You went after him, firing as many shots as you could. Your arm bleeding out more as you moved. After killing most of them, there were only two men left. “I’m out,” Bucky said looking at the empty clip. “Me too,” you said back. Bucky pulled out the knife from his side pocket. He started fighting the two men, landing a few stikes on them. Eventually, the two men were on the ground. “Not bad,” you said a small smile forming. “Is that a compliment?” he raised his brow. “Never,” you shook your head smirking. “Are you okay?” he furrowed his brows. You were clearly losing a lot of blood. “Is that worry I sense?” you chuckled dryly. “Never,” he smiled at you. “Let get out of here before more of them come,” Bucky said looking back at the unconscious men.

**END FLASHBACK**

“You know thinking about it, I’m not really sure how we screwed up. I mean we got what we went there for. There might’ve been some unprecedented events but we still got what we needed,” you tried to defend yourself.

“I think it’s not really about the mission itself it’s more your relationship with each other,” Dr. Raynor said

“I’m not really sure what kind of relationship you are referring to, but like we’ve said we just can’t stand each other,” you said.

“Why do you think that is?”

“I tried to be nice when I first joined the Avengers but cyborg over here was a complete ass so I stopped trying to be nice,” You explained

“Mr. Barnes, you have anything to say?” she looked at Bucky. Bucky stayed silent not wanting to partake in the conversation.

“See? Complete ass,” you said shaking your head in annoyance. “You know what, I’m done. This is completely useless, you can give us the okay to go back on missions or you can’t I don’t care,” you said as you stood up and left the room. You got outside and let out a breath, tired from that useless therapy session. After about twenty minutes Bucky finally got outside. “You know I don’t hate you or anything,” Bucky said causing you to turn to look at him. “What?” you asked confused

“Fourteen years ago, I was sent to kills someone. There was a couple that saw so I had to kill them too. I remember their names. When you joined and saw your last name I knew it wasn’t a coincidence. I killed your parents, and I’m sorry,” Bucky said avoiding your eyes.

“I know,” you said softly

“You know?” he asked confused

“Yeah, I’ve read your file. Everyone you’ve killed while under Hydra’s control, every single person,” you said

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“Because I know that wasn’t you. And being angry towards you wouldn’t bring them back,” you explained.

“I’m so sorry,” he apologized once again.

“I know,” you smiled warmly. “Come on, I need to eat,” you said as you started walking away. “This doesn’t make us friends right?” you stopped to ask.

“Never,” he smiled softly. “Good, we wouldn’t want that now,” you teased him.

[zip-toonz]

Spare bluster (or just bad crowd in general) headcanons? 👉👈

Sure!

General Bad crowd Headcanons (Mostly anatomical all inspired by canon)

Have hooved feet and clawed hands. Optimal for climbing the mountainous terrain they live in.

they see better in lowlight settings and have light sensitive eyes, which is why Bluster has a disdain for the care bears very bright colors

thick bones and tough skin. again adapted for their environment but also for play fights (or real fights who knows) when the claws come out shit gets real. this also explains why bluster and rob can take a fall like its no big deal

Have a mix of quills and fur like a porcupine. good for defense and blending in to the terrain

very strong lungs due to the altitude making the air thin. some badcrowders will claim the air feels heavy at lower altitude locations and some dont like leaving blusterland cause of it

Im taking a page from the grumpus fans and gonna say theyre and egg laying mammal with a pouch. Baddies without kids will store stuff in their pouch like its a pocket. Pouches are universal and dont pertain to asab.

mineral rich diet. and the produce in the area is a lot more tart than sweet. Care bear food would not have the proper minerals to support a badcrowder for long. get robbie a salt lick or something

Bluster Headcanons (theses are a lot less canon based)

Trans Man

most definitely neurodivergent possibly has adhd

has strong paternal instincts even towards inanimate objects (See the grumpy effect) but either doesn't realize it or waves it off as him doing a bit

enjoys vinegary foods

could genuinely be a threat but has gifted kid burn out and no longer fully applies himself

has auditory processing issues but refuses to acknowledge it out of embarrassment

is extremely self conscious/has low self esteem but hides it under his persona

Probably genuinely smart when he wants to be (again grumpy effect. he made that maze and even robbie got stuck in it)

craves affection and yet is super adverse to it at the same time

Im very passionate about these guys its insane how much i think about them