#polyamourous aromantic

[polyam-aro-culture-is]

PLEASE SPREAD TO ALL AROACE AND POLYAM BLOGS THAT YOU CAN

Hey guys just so you know there’s a aphobe and polyphobe going around and leaving hateful messages. Just go ahead and block aphobic-polyphobe before they come harass you.

[dumbfaetrash]

Arospec polyams are actual literal gods

[gender-luster]

hey writers- if you're ever working on a story, and you hear a voice telling you to make all your characters aromantic, or polyamorous, or maybe even both, that's an angel talking. and you should listen

[starnosedmoles]

a few lgbtq+ flags i color picked from these bugs!🏳️‍⚧️🐞❤️🪲🏳️‍🌈

[jax-likes-snax]

I hate the way other queer people disregard that human relationships are more complicated than how amatonormativity portrays it, like seeing other queer people disregard the ace, aro, and/or poly experiences because it doesn't fit in their neat little box, even though you'd think they more than anyone else would also understand how complicated human relationships can be and the multiple different ways we can experience attraction, and the way everyone tries to shove every experience into a neat little box, I hate amatonormativity and wish we could all just experience relationships of every kind however comes natural to us instead of needing to fit them all into neat little boxes like society pushes

[thefrogginbullfish]

[aromantic-allosexual]

y'know what? DON'T take me out to dinner first. it's laser tag with the homies and then sex. with the homies

[our-aroace-experience]

My aroace experience is thinking that polyamorous people are the exact opposite of aroace people, before learning more about them and coming to the conclusion that aroaces might actually have more in common with polyamorous people than we do with monogamous people. Okay hear me out:

Not feeling jealous/territorial about "sharing" people ✅

Not fitting the "settle down with one other person and have kids with them" narrative ✅

Being weird in middle/high school because everyone else has one specific person they have a crush on and you don't ✅

Either forgotten about or deliberately excluded ✅

Frustrated that marriage benefits are only between you and one specific person, no room for unique relationships ✅

Other people thinking you have commitment issues because you don't only share your heart with The One ✅

"Find 'the one?' Lmao no thanks." ✅

Being astonished by how many monogamous couples fall apart because neither of them wants to communicate like adults ✅

Anyways, aroace and polyamorous solidarity for the win.

🧡💛���🩵💙 🤝 💙💙❤️❤️🖤🖤

i’ve never noticed that, it’s very cool! i feel like queer people all have a lot more in common than we think! aroace and polyamorous solidarity for the win!

[jay-aro]

god i love aromantic polyamory

[ihateliterature]

Not many people know what amatonormativity is and I think that's a shame because it's a very useful concept to keep in mind

So let's do a crash course

What is amatonormativity?

A term coined by Elisabeth Brake in 2011 in her book Minimizing Marriage: Marriage, Morality, and the Law, used to explain the societal assumption that all people seek romantic relationships in the form of long term monogamous relationships. Easy, right? No

Nothing in life is so easy, especially not something like an idea taken as absolute truth by most people for as long as we can remember

Let's take it from the top

Amatonormativity intersects with cisnormativity, heteronormativity and patriarchal gender norms. What amatonormativity tells us is that EVERYONE wants and needs a committed heterosexual monogamous romantic relationship that usually ends in children. The American 50's ideal is a good example of that

The reason why the other terms I mentioned are not enough to talk about these issues is that they don't target specifically the nature of relationships under patriarchy. They are obviously talked about (especially in discussions about gender norms) but they are not the focus. There is also the problem that many don't recognize the insistence of love as a measure for one's humanity as a problem at all

We live in a world where love is considered to be the very proof of humanity. This is obviously a problem because there is no universally accepted definition of love outside amatonormativity, which claims that only romantic and familial love exist. There is no acknowledgement of alternative ways to love or of humanity existing apart from this concept

What is love? This is what I want to ask you, and I want everyone to think seriously about this question. Is it the idea of a soulmate, of finding your "other half"? Because then comes the 'why?'. Why should anyone find their 'other half'? Why can't people be whole on their own? Is there any weight to this idea at all?

But wait! Some will say! That's not all there is to love. Love is the affection and care you hold for other people. And that is a fair answer. But now I want to ask you, why should that be the measure for someone's humanity?

This conversation goes in circles. Philosophers have tried to find a way to define humanity since Ancient Greece and probably longer, and I'm not here to attempt to answer this question

But there is another question I can answer: why is it important? Why is amatonormativity and being aware of it important? Several reasons. Not only does it affect the lives of aspecs, polyamorous people, childfree and infertile people by making them feel less human for not participating in it's rituals, it also implicitly supports cisnormativity and heteronormativity

The model proposed by amatonormativity is ripe for exploitation, manipulation and abuse. It cuts off people's support networks by devaluing all other kinds of connections, it keeps people from leaving abusive relationships by eliminating all kinds of alternatives to happiness and fulfillment, it makes people enter relationships they don't want because it makes it seem like there is no other alternative, it blinds people to potential or ongoing abuse because it makes us believe that love can only be good and pure

Amatonormativity is often talked about in aspec and polyamorous spaces, but many others are unaware of its influence, and I think this is a mistake and another example of amatonormativity (blinding people to the flaws and alternatives to the ideal it proposes is another way amatonormativity works). And this is a shame, because the queer and feminist movements (along with all the other progressive movements) can't ever attain their goals without addressing amatonormativity

[polyam-aro-culture-is]

Poly aro culture is tossing a coin to decide whether to call each other partners or not.

Valid! It’s totally up to y’all if you want to be called partners and if a coin toss is how you want to do it, that sounds fun!

[editloids]

꒰꒰ pride heart pixels made by me!! feel free to request your flag in our inbox !! reblog / credit to use (not necessary but appreciated) <3

[thelunarsystemwrites]

Remember.

Being aromantic is being queer.

Being asexual is being queer.

Being aroace is being queer.

Being demi-sexual, is being queer.

Being demi-romantic, is being queer.

Being polyamorous is being queer.

Being ambiamorous being queer.

We're all different, yes. But all together we're different from being heterosexual, heteromantic or mono. which can co-exist with being queer too! (Such as a ace/hetero)

If you don't agree, whatever. I'm not gonna attack you, but I'm not gonna interact with your excuses of, "Being queer is this, or that!"

They're part of the community.

Happy aromantic awareness week!! (Though, this post turned into a little more XD)

[lyynpop]

once again here to appreciate the a-spec/polyamorous solidarity. absolutely adore our collective middle finger to amanormativity and toxic monogamy it's so sexy and cool of us

[ziptie-bouquet]

I hate that people view polyamory and aromanticism as completely opposed things. We surprisingly have so much in common:

We deconstruct amatonormativity from different perspectives that are both very enriching.

We suffer from laws and advantages given only to mono married couples, and that aren't granted to us too.

And also:

Polyam aros exist!

There is so much erasure regarding polyam/ace/aro people within the queer community, and something that everybody disregards is the different meaning relationships can have for aros and how that mingles well with polyamory.

Obviously, I'm not saying that every aro is polyam, but the strict and restricted understanding of relationships by people outside of those circles masks the reality of people who are both!

Aroallos exist and can engage with multiple sexual partners at a time. People can love in more ways than friendships or romance, that's why we have QPRs or terms like alterous or exteramo attractions. The aro spectrum is very vast, and there are a lot of different experiences that can make people identify as aro and polyam. Our definition of relationships, even with just platonic attraction, can be incompatible with traditional mono romantic relationships, too. There are so many possibilities and so much close mindedness around it.

Just keep an open mind if you're not concerned by this. Remember to include us at pride. We're queer and fight with you against heteronormativity!

[probably-ace-ok]

I think solidarity between asexual/aromantic people and polyamorous people is so important.

we all reject the typical societal ideas of what relationships should look like and the idea of finding a single ‘ideal’ partner to live your whole life with.

and I think that’s neat.