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em-mermaid · 1 year

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Let’s Prank Your Boyfriend

(read on AO3 here)

It’s time.

The button makes a satisfying click and a joyful tune fills the air. He reaches out to catch his prize, letting diamonds fall to the ground around him. And finally, in his hands is a large purple crown, fit for a king.

Doc sweeps his thumb along the jewels delicately embedded in the golden rim of the crown and takes a moment to admire how the purple velvet compliments the green of his fur. This will do nicely, he thinks.

The crown of Grian’s desires. A way to get back at that pesky bird. It’s time to put his plan into action.

He reaches up and places the crown atop his head. It fits perfectly between his horns, almost as if it was made for him.

He looks around at the empty streets of the shopping district. The early morning sun glints off the nearby windows, but no hermits are inside. The weight of the crown makes him feel powerful. He needs someone to celebrate this victory with him. He needs to show off this prize.

Mumbo’s best friend, huh? It was almost too easy.

Pesky bird is in for a surprise.

A quick flight later and he’s standing outside Mumbo’s vault door. It’s dark, imposing, even in the bright morning light. Creeping vines seem to crawl towards him, simultaneously urging him closer and warning him away. Sculk sensors click and chitter at his approach.

He raises a hand to knock but the door springs into life before he can. Pistons shift and clank loudly and the door opens with grandeur as a slime block launches him into the doorway to land face to face with a startled Mumbo.

He’s wearing his standard suit and tie, perfectly tailored and freshly pressed. The large black wings on his back shift and shimmer when he steps into the sunlight. His tail flicks back and forth as purple eyes glow with an untold power. It takes Doc’s breath away.

“Oh, hey dude! What’s up?” Mumbo greets with an endearingly awkward wave.

“Good morning,” Doc greets with a smile. He sees the moment Mumbo notices the crown atop his head and watches as Mumbo’s jaw drops open.

Doc smiles and puffs out his chest. Purple eyes flick downward before quickly averting. A pink tinge appears in Mumbo’s cheeks.

“Do you like my crown?”

Mumbo shuffles in place and smiles up at him. “It looks great!” He rubs at the back of his neck. “I just didn’t think anyone would have one yet.”

A grin grows on Doc’s face and he chuckles. “Don’t doubt the power of the Goat!” He steps forward, close enough that he could touch one of Mumbo’s wings if he reached out. Close enough to see the shimmering scales lining his cheekbones. “And you know full well that the Goat can’t resist The Button. I have to be the best.”

Mumbo’s flush darkens, but he doesn’t step away. “Ah yes, well, I suppose that makes sense.” They both know that this was a deliberate design choice.

“Now Mumbo, my new best friend, I have a proposition.”

“A what?” he squeaks.

“A proposition that we team up to prank your pesky neighbor.”

“Oh, right, of course. A prank proposition.” His wings shift with excess energy. “What kind of prank were you thinking?”

Doc nods his head towards the floating rocks behind him. “Perhaps we should first step inside to avoid prying eyes. This will work best if pesky bird doesn’t know that I have the crown.”

“Right,” Mumbo agrees, stepping away from Doc. “Yeah, come on in.”

Mumbo turns and begins descending the stairs into the vault. Doc follows and watches as Mumbo hits a button to close the door behind them. The canking of pistons cover the sound of their footsteps echoing through the chamber.

The vault is modest on the inside. Well, modest aside from the glass covered stash of diamonds kept under the floors. Chests line the dark walls and shulkers are stacked in the corner. A Hotguy poster hangs directly ahead and Doc can’t help but admire it, despite having a matching one at home.

Mumbo clears his throat and Doc tears his eyes away from the chiseled abs of his favorite hero in favor of the handsome man in his presence.

“Would you like some tea?” Mumbo gestures towards the small kitchen and table tucked away behind the stairs.

“Sure, sounds wonderful.” The wooden chair creaks as he sits and, delightfully, it is large enough for him to fit comfortably.

Mumbo places a pot of water on the furnace before glancing back at Doc, wings shifting to clear his line of sight. “So you want to prank Grian?”

Doc nods with a grin. “Mhm.”

“I mean, you know me, I'm always ready to prank him,” Mumbo muses as he joins Doc at the table. “Is there a reason for this prank or is it just because you want to?”

Doc drops his head into his hands and lets out a frustrated groan. “Him and Scar blew up my tunnel bore! These two don’t even know how not to break the most basic of machines. Don’t they realize how many hours it takes to put one of those together even if it is simple?”

He feels something wrap around his ankle and freezes before realizing it’s not just something, it's Mumbo’s tail. He looks up in surprise and meets a concerned yet teasing gaze.

Mumbo’s tail is wrapped around his ankle.

“Ha yeah they tend to do that, it happens to me all the time. Grian seems drawn to every contraption I build.” Is it just in his head or is Mumbo leaning closer now? “What kind of prank were you thinking?”

Mumbo’s tail is around his ankle and Doc is still wearing the crown.

Ok Doc, he thinks to himself, you need to keep your cool. This is good, perfect even. He can’t remember the last time the two of them had even spent any time alone together. Maybe at the spawn village? Or was it back in Boatem? He’s not sure. Regardless, here they are now in Mumbo’s vault and he has this rare and perfect opportunity of being the center of Mumbo’s undivided attention. He can’t waste this.

He clears his throat and leans in conspiratorially. “As you know, pesky bird has been wanting the best friend crown for a while, but he should know by now that the Goat always wins when it comes to The Button.”

Mumbo laughs. It’s something light, yet hesitant. “Is that why you picked me to help? Because of the crown?” His tail moves as if to pull away.

“No, no!” Doc exclaims, reaching out to take Mumbo’s hand in his own. “I picked you because of your ideas. Plus, you have such a handsome face.”

For a moment Mumbo pauses, eyebrows furrowed as he looks down at their hands. The silence stretches on as a variety of expressions flit across Mumbo’s face, too fast and subtle for him to understand and Doc begins to wonder if he’s overstepped. But then Mumbo smiles softly and moves, turning his hand upward to interlock their fingers.

It's an awkward angle for their wrists as they hold hands across the small table, but it feels like a step forward. A step towards something new.

When Mumbo finally speaks, his voice is quiet, barely a whisper, but it’s steady. “So you want to use the crown?”

The air around them feels charged. Doc squeezes Mumbo’s hand and when he responds he makes sure to keep his voice low.

“I want to tempt him with the crown that he so desperately wants. I want to make him pay. And then, with your permission of course, I want to taunt him into taking the best friend crown only for it to cause the destruction of something dear to him.”

Mumbo looks up, startled, but the mischievous glint in his eye tells Doc all he needs to know. “What are you going to destroy?”

“That is where you come in, my dear Mumbo.” Doc’s voice rumbles into the space between them as he begins to use his thumb to draw shapes onto Mumbo’s hand. He watches as Mumbo shivers. “I was hoping you would have an idea. Of course, it doesn’t need to be anything too important, just something to cause a little distress. A little shock. We can always rebuild.”

The flush returns to Mumbo’s cheeks. “We could blow up my vault door.”

Now it’s Doc’s turn to recoil. “Why would you blow up your own base?”

“Well, I’ve been building traps for him all season so he can try to break into my vault. And I was already thinking about blowing up the back part anyway so I can redesign it.”

“You are going to redesign your entire base?”

“Yeah? I don’t think it looks sinister enough.”Doc stares at him. Taking a moment to really look at him. Mumbo’s hair is messy, but not unkempt. It’s pushed back as if he styled it recently, but had already run his hands through it as he thought through his plans for the day. His wings rest comfortably behind him, still shimmering under the skylight. Doc’s eyes trace the crease between Mumbo’s eyebrows and the shape of his lips as he purses them in contemplation of the task ahead.

He’s not sure how it slips out but he hears his own voice whisper. “I could kiss you.”

Brief surprise flickers across Mumbo’s features before he leans in, resting his chin on his hand. “Yeah?”

“Mhm,” Doc nods.

“Then do it.”

Doc leans in minutely, but it’s not close enough. “Damn table is in the way,” he grumbles, keeping their fingers interlocked as he rises to clear the distance around the table in two swift steps.

Purple eyes are looking up at him and then, with a slight tug on their joined hands, the eyes are coming closer along with the rest of Mumbo’s body until they are pressed flush against each other. Mumbo’s warm breath mingles with his own and the gravity finally pulls them together, their lips joining in a dance of fire and flames. Years of taunting and teasing finally crashing inward to this singular moment of grasping hands and beating hearts.

They break apart panting, foreheads touching as they breathe together. Doc lets out a chuckle. “You made my mouth all tingly.”

“Ah yes well,” Mumbo lets out a breathy laugh. “That will be the electricity. Dragon’s breath and all that.”

“So are you saying that there is a spark here?” Doc brings his hand up to brush his thumb along Mumbo’s cheek. “That’s not a very safe thing to have around a creeper, but I’m not going to complain.”

At that Mumbo properly starts laughing, the near magical sound filling the kitchen. He shakes with it as he leans forward and presses his head onto Doc’s shoulder. Doc can’t help but chuckle along with him.

Slowly, it trails off into quieter giggles. “Yeah,” Mumbo agrees, finally composing himself. “Yeah, but here we are.”

“Here we are,” Doc confirms.

For a moment they simply stand, wrapped in each other's arms and basking in the warmth of the embrace.

It’s Doc that eventually breaks their shared silence. He keeps his voice low, trailing his hand down Mumbo’s arm to lace their fingers together. “How about we get started on that redstone, hmm?”

Mumbo's eyes light up and he beams. “Now?”

“Why not?” Doc shrugs.

“Right, yes!” Mumbo exclaims, leaning towards the table to grab a small book and quill. “What did you have in mind?”

#mumdoc #hermitshipping #polyhermit hybrid au #<the name is a work in progress #just know i have thoughts about all the hermits and how they fit in this lil canon adjacent universe #also they are all in love #mermaid writes #hermitfic

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