#poor dudes are comically small compared to the others lmao

[ryuuka-balaen]

I'd dug it up earlier to send to someone as it had been relevant in conversation recently, so may as well post it here too; a lil bit of CatLore(tm) for my main Warhammer Army; the Knights of Noble House Valere.

When I decided that it would be healthy for me to try to partake in physical hobbies more often rather than spending all my free time online and having almost exclusively online friendships, the first thing I went to try was Warhammer. I'd been trying to get into it for nearly a decade and I've always loved my funny little minis and models so it was the most obvious choice to me, especially being that I'd just been given a new 3d printer I could make terrain and models with. However, this came with a small issue; I didn't like the style of the models I already had as much as I used to. Which meant I needed to browse through which factions 40k had to choose from, and find something with an aesthetic I did enjoy.

What I found that i liked was the Imperial Knights and Grey Knights.

First, some official lore as Context;

Imperial Knights are huge mechs owned by influential families called Noble Houses. Before the founding of The Imperium of Man wherein the God-Emperor took the Golden Throne, the Noble Houses were some of the first humans to leave Terra and colonize the galaxy in an event referred to as The Long March. For the purpose of this colonization, they built huge agricultural mechs with chainsaws that could reave forests for lumber, explosives that could level mountains for construction, etc. Of course, these tools were repurposed into weapons of war. The mechs were equipped with armour that can withstand a nuke and autocannons that shoot shells wider than a man is tall. The planets colonized by these Noble Houses are referred to as Feudal Worlds. When the Age of Strife began and humanity lost a significant portion of the knowledge required to create and upkeep their most advanced technologies, contact between distant worlds was also lost. Many Feudal Worlds that were isolated from this regression have yet to be rediscovered by The Imperium.

Grey Knights are the God-Emperor's Special Boys who live on Saturn's moon Titan in a Grand Fortress-Monestary. unlike other chapters of space marines, there are only every 800 Grey Knights at any one time, and every single one of them is a psyker and has mad wizard powers. They also all wear ~Special Boy~ armour that's been sanctified and blessed with Mystical Rituals that makes them harder to kill than your average Space Marine. They exist only to fight invasions of the Daemon forces of Chaos, and will take any measure to do so. The whole thing is very edgy and they try very hard to be cool.

Unfortunately, the rules of warhammer40k don't normally allow one person to use models from two different factions in their army at the same time, and doing so is referred to as a "Soup Army" which is generally very frowned upon by the gaming community. Regardless, I happen to be and continue to be a fool of a kitty that likes my funny little Knights, and what I wanted to do was run an army that's made half and half of the two factions I like.

That begs the question though; Why would these two factions be fighting together? the Grey Knights are Daemon Hunters, and as such only fight against those corrupted by Chaos, and while the Noble Houses of the Feudal Worlds which have been rediscovered by The Imperium do fight alongside The Imperium, they don't do so Often or Consistently. (And, by game rules, while any imperium army is permitted to field either one large or up to three small Imperial Knights models, that isnt enough for me)

While I do like the Imperial Knights official lore, I'm pretty neutral on that of the Grey Knights (as much as I do like to make fun of them, the idea of an order of paladins that'll show up anywhere, anytime to lay the smackdown on some demons is pretty cool). So, my solution to that question was; What if they aren't Grey Knights? Any military that's fielding gigantic irreplaceable Death Mechs is also going to employ footsoldiers, aren't they?

The Knights I paint and play are of the Noble House Valere, one of the many to take part in The Long March and the many to still be isolated following the Age of Strife. The House, however, has not been idle in it's isolation. From the time contact was lost in the 25th millennium House Valere has continued to make technological progress, re-engineering the systems utilized in their great Knights to smaller and more compact forms, to create Exosuits in which even an untrained wearer could rival a Space Marine in combat. While this is surely impressive, the real feat of innovation achieved by Valere's researchers is undoubtedly their progress in harnessing The Warp. Normally only Psykers would be able to utilize the reality-bending power of The Warp, however the continued study and research between the 25th to the 41st millennium has seen these researchers engineer methods for machines to make use of The Warp, and integrating this into the Exosuits of House Valere's Knights allows every one of their footsoldiers to wield the power of a Psyker.

The current Standing Army of House Valere, which is to say the models I currently have (though many are currently unpainted), numbers at six Knight Mechs, one Armoured Troop Transport, and seventeen Exosuit Soldiers.

In Game Terms that's;

one Knight Preceptor, two Armiger Helverins, and two Armiger Warglaives for 1,000points of Imperial Knights,

one Nemesis DreadKnight, one Brother-Captain, one Brotherhood Champion, one Razorback, five Terminators, five Grey Knights, and five Purifiers for 1,000points of Grey Knights,

which all together makes a happy Tournament-Standard sized army roster of 2,000points.

House Valere's age of peace is not to last much longer, as the universe permits none to escape it's wrath and there are a great many who, whether for Tech-Heresy, claims of territory, or simply Hunger, would see The House's citizens dead.

As a footnote; I do want to clarify that when i wrote this i felt like an absolute madwoman and it seemed very Chuuni / "9th-grader's Overpowered Self-Insert OC" but fuck it cringe is dead, I'm having fun, and others have said its neat so im keeping it.

[thegeminisage]

since i FINALLY finished the comic page im gonna make the poor choice of playing zelda ALL NIGHT get ready for The Longest Post which is full of Big Super Spoilers

since lynel thoroughly kicked my can last night i need defense food and preferably stronger weapons

i technically already had more than enough shock arrows to proceed but i wanna kill him!!!!

LMFAO I JUST COOKED SOMETHING THAT GIVES ME 21 EXTRA HEARTS...HOLY FUCK

okay but in all seriousness i only have like 3 defense things........

i guess i'll try it fuck i dont feel like scouring the world for ironshrooms rn

ok. slept on the bed to get my stamina wheel & 3 hearts, will use my 21 hearts when those run out, got 3 defense things for about 14m of defense, I Can Do This

really i wish i had a one-handed weapon, two-handers are so slow :/

well here we go again :|||

lol why does my heartrate always go up for shit like smh.....

getting better at dodging

ooh he hates my ice arrows

HAHAHA I MOUNTED HIM

maybe i can get a snapchat pic

YES i did i didn't attack him in that perfect moment but hey some thing are more important

NOOO FUCK I DIED

I FORGOT TO REFRESH MY DEFENSE ELIXIR BC I HAD GOTTEN UP AND FORGOT IT WAS ALMOST OUT

JESUS FUCK

im so fucking annoyed lmao i was so close

oh well at least now i can use that whole mount

aaand again

oh. im out of ice arrows.

YIKES i forgot to refresh my thing again just for a sec and almost died

YES i got a perfect dodge purely on accident NICE!!!!

i can see everything from shatterback point, even naydra, but im too scared to jump while the beast is down there

no yk what fuck it. im turning this paraglider around

first tho i really wanna wait to see if i can catch another rainbow...they were so pretty and i lost the other pics i took when i died ):

oh!!! there it is!!!!! and i was just about to give up

ah it last such a short time - but it comes at the same time every day, around 4:05

i'm sure it won;t appear here anymore after the divine beasts knocks it off with the water though, haha

okay.......time to dive

/saves first

AHAHAHA I DID IT

WOW THAT THING IS SO HUGE UP CLOSE BYE

i mean it didnt even move im just Scared. ok

duuude i gave the lynel pic to the lady and got swim pants?! FUCKING SICK where do i get a helm

okay time to go free the divine beast!!

haha wait i came out here without defense stuff. i didn't cook anymore

oh well yolo

or actually this is a game so i live as many times as i want #determination

i do still have some extra hearts left, and stamina, and some healing items, and even some electricity elixirs, sowow!! okay! still huge!!!!!

ah i love sidon so much

he tries so hard and he's so ready and he loves his people so dearly

i bet he's gonna die lol

if it's like, a sage thing, maybe he has to replace mipha if she really is gone

jesus please don't die sidon PLEASE

OH MY GOD I GET TO RIDE ON HIS BACK?

JFC THIS MUSIC IS SO COOL!!!! AAAAKDSHFGKLJ

OH MY GOD HE'S TALKING!!! IN THE FIGHT!!!!! IM CRYING THIS IS SO COOL SKDFHBG

oh my gos he's talking he's talking there's voice acting im literally dying i cant handle!!!!!! this!!!!!! i lvoe him so much

omg omg

dude that was SO cool

and link got to ride on his back and then say goodbye!!! and sidon BELIEVES in him!!!!!!!!!!

god i wish i had gotten the helm before i did this haha i looked up the location but i don't think i can back out now

MIPHA?

MIPHA IS TALKING TO ME??

I CAN HEAR MIPHA'S VOICE

I'M CRYING I KNEW SHE WAS STILL ALIVE

i feel like she's about to die like the old man like Move On but

to see her again!!!!!!! im so emotional

oh my god oh my god

no okay i can leave and i need a second too im gonna go get the helm

apparently theres a quest you can do that doesnt give you the helm but tells you where to find it? but i can do that later rn i just want complete armor

alright nice full set hell yeah

HOLY fuck i was paragliding back and i tried to paraglide over the divine beast and it fucking OBLITERATED ME jesus CHRIST

dude there are these absolutely freaky eyeball things you gotta shoot to get rid of gunk and the music gets all creepy near them lsdksjfgh

oh no i found the cockpit but it's all closed up...is her corpse in there? her ghost? oh my god it says the terminals are unactivated

i'll be honest im a BIT stuck here i hate to have to use a guide, but

NO wait oh my god my runes!!! dumbass

i can lift the bars lol

oh my god the CONTROLS are on???

I CAN MOVE IT?? HOLY SHIT

this map is fucking 3D a 3D map!!!! in the other games they were flat holy shit!!!!

i can even see it moving on the minimap!!! holy FUCK

LMAO i was trying to move this crank with stasis and all along i needed to use magnesis. jesus

uh the music got freaky as fuck after i did the first terminal??? no?? thank you????

LOL YOU GOTTA RIDE THE TRUNK oh my god. oh my god.jesus christ

i am so small. it is so big. oh my god

I FEEL UNSAFE!

who is the boss of this dungeon? there's gotta be a boss

don't tell me i fight it

or the undead mipha

jesus god

i have had to ride this trunk 3 times now and i am not at all comfortable

reminds me of the big windmill in mirror's edge

okay yep i did all the terminals and now the music is downright terrifying!!! nice good Okay

HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THAT BLUE LIGHT

MIPHA?

NOT MIPHA!!!

"my demise 100 years ago" is she Really gone

omg no mipahs talking to me as i fight!!!

im straight up gonna look up what to do im too weak and defense-potionless to do this the hard way

ooh motherfucker doesnt like my shock arrows and lynel bow ahaha

huh that was actually like SUPER easy compared to some of the other stuff i've done

eeeewwwwww

MIPHA? ARE YOU ALIVE OR DEAD IN THERE? oh god oh god

holy fuck

i straight up just cried

she's a spirit and i thought she was gonna like, move on? which is sad enough

but no she's hanging around to pilot the divine beast from the afterlife

she even talked to it i was so sad it's been her only companion for a century of course she fucking talks to it

and i was staying strong!!! i was!!!!!

but she talked about how she wished she could see her dad again and i cried lmao why does this game give me dad feels of all things

i hope she gets to see her dad one more time too i'm so sad she's really dead and not alive like link

jesus fuck

oooh dorephan's talking about the master sword...gimme gimme gimme!!!

aww he was nice to sidon as everyone should be!!!!

holy shit he's really big?? i didn't realize it but he's like twice link's height JESUS

man. i am fucking wrecked lol

time to...explore...the rest of the province...i guess

i got a trident but i can never use it bc it will break. it was mipha's!!!!

on the other hand all three pieces of armor, my shield, weapon, AND bow are all zora themed i took a pic of myself to remember it by lol bc they will all break

i wonder where i should go after this...?

my brother went up to death mountain but i kinda want to do something different so we have something to tell each other about

but i kinda want to do the same so we don't spoil each other

i also REALLY wanna do the southeastmost province for some reason, all that water

tbh tho im getting ahead of myself i still have lots of this left to cover

it's getting harder to tell where i've already been, haha - when the things had borders and there was less visible that was easier

ooooh mipha's ability brings me back from death and she speaks briefly to me ;_; and it's active again in 23 minutes nice!

so i guess each champion gives you a different one and you can chose which to have active but tbh this one seems like it's gonna be the most helpful already

aww i did a little quest in kakariko to root out a theif and i love the way they built up dorian's past that's so cool

i think i was supposed to be able to pick up that yiga dude's sword tho and it glitched on me bc i was too fast :/

ugh i'm doing this oen shrine puzzle where you have to mount a male deer

and i finally mounted one after losing 10000 times and it was past some hills it wouldn't climb down

every time i find one thats close enough they fucking bolt im so fed up :|

and my sheikah sensor isn't picking up any more so i must have literally scared away all of them. fantastic. what a huge waste of time!! guess i will go somewhere else!

also can't solve the puzzle on how to open the shrine at veiled falls so im just batting a thousand today so much for sidequesting tbqh

FOUND A BLUE MANED LYNEL

SO MUCH NOPE

urgh and a blue hinox

exploring might not be worth my time either tbh

yeah no that's two shrines i haven't been able to open and this has stopped being fun, got one more ridge to explore before im done with this province - and some weird islands waaaay out there too but idk if i can get to them yet, and i'd just as soon wait until i unlocked the one next to them

yyyeah looking at them from here it makes much more sense to explore them when i get to that province

at least im all done with this one!! still plenty of sidequests and stuff, but those i can come back t more easily...it's harder to remember which terrain i have and haven't covered when i don't do it like this

i was thinking about how big the divine beast was when i saw it in the distance and

this sounds nuts but i bet im right - what if that flying island thing is a divine beast. WHAT IF

and that is The Day's Liveblog, more tomorrow, except probably not much bc of stream