#poor woobie just looks worried all the time

[larchwood]

First look at Eric Bana from upcoming movie "Berlin Nobody"

[ekebolou]

Okay, so I'm re-reading the IwtV book because highschool me hasn't had a good run around the cerebellum in a while I guess, and I wanted to justify my love of some of the adaptation choices being made in the show. I'm happy to report that love is bounteously justified, but I have finally run across the first major thing to give me pause.

So, look, I hate Louis (affectionate). He's fascinating as a narrator in part because I think he's a remarkably shit person and yet he's definitely got the bead on something the other characters lack (and it's not just maudlin whining, though he's got that in spades enough for everyone else to be Pollyanna if they wanted. I forgot entirely that he says, for example, "Because all aesthetic decisions are moral, really." - I mean, like, now I have the capacity the really think this out and I'm not going to because god who has time, but really, he says that)

I've been worried, however, because the show seems to... like him too much. It's too easy in the presentation to forget the mistakes he makes and the way he existed through exploitation and abuse because he is also exploited and abused. (Book Louis just, like... doesn't even clock his own hypocrisy, so if you just do a ridealong with his narrative you don't clock it either, and it would be a worse book if he did clock it because if he clocked it, it would be yet another of his sins and the subject of yet endless yapping and like it's not all about you (even though it is, actually, it is all about him since he's the titular Vampire being Interviewed so like... yeah it's all about him, he's allowed to frame it that way)). They're woobifying Armand, who has the same double trap card to play in that, yeah, that's a woobie right there (arguable, I think, but I would think that), but I have the feeling they're also setting him up to take a fall, become a Bad Man.

And basically I'm writing this because I wanted evidence of my own thoughts before watching the newest episode that there's two ways this could go, and one of them will be a mistake. If they make Armand the Bad One, and poor Louis the manipulated one, then they have fallen for the bullshit trap Louis lays for everyone. I'm worried they'll go this way, and make Louis overtly sympathetic, which I think is a mistake.

The reason I'm worried is that they've taken away one of the bigger and more obvious moments of hypocrisy and self-indulgent evil Louis commits in the book, which I had honestly forgotten the exact mechanisms of until I got the right point in re-reading. Which is that Louis kills Claudia. Louis is responsible for Claudia. Lestat does the turning but the whole weight of the event should sit squarely on Louis' shoulders because Lestat is a feral raccoon with attachment issues. Louis always finds a way to blame everyone else for all of his greatest sins and then complains of the burden of conscience he carries for continuing to live with his own choices, so that even the people he sins against become minor players in their own tragedies because of Louis' big feels (and the structure of the book - like, there's very much a structure of the book factor doing a lot of work here).

So they've hidden or ameliorated the worst of his sins in life and removed all of his sins (except killing people, naturally) in death, but they've also very, very strenuously set up layer upon layer of unreliable narrations, so it's anyone's ballgame at this point. I feel like they're learning into poor sad, sympathetic Louis, but it's providing excellent dramatic tension because I also think they've done such a good job adapting things that it's entirely possible I'm wrong. So yeah, this is my one problem, but I'm thrilled at the possibility that it isn't a problem at all, which is a really fucking nice position to be in.

And I just wanted to write it down before I watched the rest so I would have proof for myself of what I thought before the season actually ends.

[bigskydreaming]

Scott “I am an alpha! You have no idea what I can do!” McCall is not a victim of his peers and he doesn’t have a low self-esteem, lol. In fact, Scott actively mocks, uses, violates, and dehumanizes others and assaults his peers out of jealousy in the actual show. Stop trying to paint Scott as some sort of poor mistreated wooby who’s too good and kind for his evil ungrateful friends please

Hey thanks for the spite-writing session, y’know, that thing I told you last time was literally the only thing I had to say to you about anything ever.....the way you just....inspire me to write TW fic about what I like and not cater to your obsessive need to fight over your staggeringly dishonest takes, because lololol you really just do not matter?

Anyway, so here’s what I just wrote for the next chapter of my fic WWTA, that I’ve been struggling to get back into, so thanks for the motivation! I think this chapter has like, three more scenes in it, in case you’ve got any more pointless annoying messages you want to send me, to like, help me out with the energy to write those too! 

*****

Chapter Five

Freshmen were kind of adorable, Allison decided a week into the mentoring program. At least that was something.

The way Liam lit up as she and her friends made their way to the freshmen down the hall was particularly endearing. She had to keep her glare from surfacing and pinning Brett against the lockers he leaned against, right beside Liam, Mason, Garrett and Violet. What had begun as a way to repay the debt she felt to Scott while still doing her duty had quickly graduated to true protective instincts for the young teenagers. A slight shudder ran through her body as she remembered the gashes across Scott’s chest and the defeat in his eyes -

- none of us wanted this, but it happened and we’re stuck now -

No. That would not be happening to Liam and his friends. Not on her watch.

“Hello children. And how is everyone this morning?”

Lydia made even her casual greetings a regal proclamation. It was with no small amount of amusement that Allison watched the freshmen war between their instinctive reaction to being labeled ‘children’ and their awe at being on first names basis with the undisputed queen of Beacon Hills High. This was all wildly against the natural order of things. Her eyes drifted in Brett’s direction to find his narrowed at her, and her good humor evaporated. Ugh. Why couldn’t she ever have nice things?

“Everyone’s coming to my place after school, right? Your first archery lessons!” Allison cut in before any of the freshmen could muster a response to Lydia.  Brett flinched, and a dangerous grin worked its way across her lips. She might not be the only predator interested in these kids, but she could damn well make sure her competition knew she was bringing claws of her own to the fight.

“For sure!” Liam enthused. “I still can’t believe you know how to shoot a bow and arrow. And your parents are really cool with you teaching us?”

“Oh yeah, no big deal,” Allison shrugged. In truth, it hadn’t been. Even if her father might have had slight reservations, Grandpa Gerard had practically salivated at the notion of her starting a How To Kill Werewolves 101 course for local teens. He was already planning how to use this to start recruiting new hunters from Allison’s handpicked group. She wasn’t about to let things get that far, but Brett didn’t need to know that. Let him worry.

“I still don’t think Allison’s parents are the only ones who should have been informed of this little extracurricular,” Danny said. “Isn’t this the kind of thing that should require signed consent forms from everyone’s parents?”

“Oh, live a little Danny,” Allison said. “What they don’t know won’t hurt them.”

“No, but the sharp pointy sticks might hurt their kids, and then there are these things called lawsuits…”

“Don’t be such a Danny Downer,” Stiles said. He clapped their friend on the back, but his eyes were on her. “I’m sure Allison knows exactly what she’s doing.”

She smirked back.

“I can’t make it,” Brett spoke up at last, sparking cries of complaint from his ‘friends.’

“What the hell man, I thought we were all gonna do this?”

As much as Allison hated to admit it, she wasn’t sure she did know what she was doing though. She had her work cut out for her in trying to drive a wedge between Liam and Brett. The younger boy had latched onto the sophomore as a confidant before they’d gotten their mentoring program up and running, and Brett’s claws were already in deep. Liam idolized the kid, and it didn’t help that whatever she might know about the pack’s true nature, to everyone else they were simply the cool, mysterious bad-asses that everyone secretly wanted to know more about.

“Got stuff to deal with at home,” was all the taller boy said, deliberately vague. She considered that. Was he just trying to get out of going to a hunter’s house - not that she’d ever expected he’d show, really - or was that code for the pack would be up to something later?

“Family stuff?” Allison asked casually.

“More like chores at the group home I live at. My family’s dead,” Brett retorted. She wondered if anyone else picked up on the bitter menace underscoring his calm tone.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“How could you? It’s not like peoples’ families being murdered by burning their houses down around them is an everyday thing. Who would ever think that was a thing that happened as often as it does?”

“Jesus,” Mason whispered in horror. The other freshmen looked as sick as she felt suddenly, and she felt her own friends shuffle uncomfortably behind her. That hadn’t come up in her research at all, but she didn’t doubt for a second that the werewolf was being truthful. The naked pain in his eyes was entirely too human for that.

“I didn’t know,” Allison repeated again. It wasn’t an excuse, it was just all she had. He snorted.

“Whatever. I’ve gotta go. Be careful with them, yeah?”

She bit her lip and nodded, wondering how much he really knew about what she was doing. Had Scott clued in any of his pack about her plans? He’d seemed protective of Brett, and the younger boy seemed to be one of the ones who followed his lead over Cora’s, but who knew how pack politics really worked…god, could she just have five complete moments to feel on top of things and not totally in over her head?

“Damn,” Violet said once Brett had disappeared around a corner in the hall. “I mean, I knew he was an orphan too, but I didn’t know he had…shit.”

“Well, he probably doesn’t advertise because he doesn’t want people gossiping about it,” Allison said. Jackson and Danny nodded in agreement, the freshmen looking thoughtful, but Lydia and Stiles were both just watching her, the same as they’d been through she and Brett’s entire little tété-a-tété. Feeling an abrupt need to be elsewhere, she chose the better part of valor and fled. “Look, I gotta get going too, but you all have directions, right? See you after school!”

Weak, Allison.

She circled the school, doing a lap across the quad and around the outer edges of the buildings to calm herself. Almost predictably at this point, her efforts were thwarted by the appearance of one Scott McCall sitting cross-legged on the grass behind the Liberal Arts building.

[takerfoxx]

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, Season 5, Episode 6, “Taking Control,” First Impressions!

OKAY! OKAY! WHAT THE FUCK?!

DID NOELLE WRITE THIS SEASON FOR ME SPECIFICALLY? LIKE, DID SHE GO, “HEY, I LIKE THAT TAKERFOXX DUDE, I THINK I’LL WRITE THIS ENTIRE FUCKING SEASON TO APPEAL TO HIM IN SPECIFIC!”

=breathes out=

Wow.

Wow.

Um, guys. I don’t know where to start. Usually I’d have one thing I’d like to gush about so I’d go ahead and comment on everything else first, but this time I want to gush about EVERYTHING!

Okay, fine. Let’s go in order.

Catra, so far, is being handled brilliantly. Like, even after having her life collapse all around her, despite having her soul crushed and being forcibly brainwashed, despite EVERYTHING, once she was safe she starts acting out again, because that kind of toxic behavior is literally all she knows. She’s so used to responding to her heavy feelings of guilt by doubling and tripling down that even those she’s hurt are trying to help her, she can’t help but lash out at them. She feels so bad about everything she did to all of them that she can’t bear to face them. I love that one line Glimmer had: “This is Catra we’re talking about. Did you think she was instantly going to be a totally different person?” It shows that Catra still has so much work to do to better herself, and it’s not going to be easy, nor should it be easy. 

But damn it, she’s trying! She’s hurt and broken and scared and losing her mind, but she’s trying, even going so far as to use her link to the Horde Hivemind to try to see Horde Prime’s plans (more on that later), even if it did take Adora threatening to leave her for her to come to her senses, because after everything, she finally has Adora at her side, and she realizes how much it would destroy her to push Adora away again. Oh man, I so wanted to give her a great big hug, even if it’s a good thing I can’t because she’d claw me to pieces out of spite. This has revived the River Tam woobie feelings again. It’s been so long.

I really liked her and Entrapta’s little moment too, and I don’t have a problem with how easily Entrapta forgave her. Firstly, it’s Entrapta, and she’s just like that. Secondly, Entrapta needed to be forgiven pretty recently too, so they’re both coming along. 

And that little moment at the end...awwww. Like, okay, at first it was a little weird that Bow was so welcoming to Catra after being so cold to Glimmer. But then I realized that he had more reason to be disappointed with Glimmer because he expected more from her, and he’s always been quick to reach out to defecting enemy soldiers.

And can I saw that Wrong Hordak is adorable and I love him? He’s been around for two episode but if anything happened to him, I’d kill everyone in the room and then myself.

Well, maybe not myself, but I’d feel really bad.

So! Saved the B-Plot for last because it had the last scene. 

Poor Micah. He’s just trying so hard to reconnect with his old life, but everything has passed him by. Glimmer’s coming back, and how is he even going to be able to connect with her? She was a little girl when he last saw her, and he can’t even relate to the actual little girl that they have around, and Frosta probably wasn’t even born when he was exiled! At the very least she was probably still a toddler. 

Also, anyone getting some real Cirno vibes from Frosta? Anyone?

I am happy to see Netossa and Spinnerella, and like that they’re looking after Frosta. And what’s this? A same sex couple casually kissing in a children’s show? GASP! Those horrible gays and their gay agendas with their openly having healthy relationships and looking after kids and helping support a worried single father! The SIN!

Man, they just give no fucks this season, do they? It’s like they saved up all there “might get us in trouble with the censors” points and cashed them in all at once.

This is further shown during their rescue mission to...I forgot how to spell it, but the place where they first met Double Trouble (and where the hell are they?)(It’s Elberon! That was some risky Googling). Of course Swift Wind wants a party, because that went so well last time. But anyway, I figured out that the whole town had been taken by Horde Prime pretty quickly, but that didn’t stop the “party” scene from being incredibly unsettling. Like, are they tried to have a major creep-out scene every episode now? 

Not complaining. 

But you know how this song and dance goes. Trap, Horde Prime does his thing, and everyone is surrounded. Micah and Frosta finally connect on the battlefield, and...things get WAY creepier when the enslaved townsfolk try to break into the ice sphere! Though why did they go for a shield instead of an exit? You have Spinnerella right...oh, right.

Fortunately, at that exact moment, Adora finally gets super-pissed enough when the Horde that she figures out how to tap into She-Ra and make it stick! And oooooh my God, that first sword? Turns out, it was holding her back, like some kind of stabby power inhibitor, because She-Ra fucking went Super Saiyan! She straight up whooped that Horde squadron’s ass and looked magnificent doing it! And don’t @ me about her being overpowered or some other bullshit, this is totally earned and it felt SO satisfying!

You know, I figured out part of this show’s brilliance. Spend four seasons making both the good and the bad guys varying levels of complex and sympathetic like most good kid shows do while building up a super-duper bad guy, have him show up in the last season, then put EVERYONE all on the same team, and that way we don’t have any trouble rooting for the good guys! 

Except Shadow Weaver. Please don’t redeem her. 

BUT ANYWAY, Adora going all Captain Marvel did the trick of not only saving them and their ship (and really turning Catra on, my God), but also giving Swift Wind enough of a power up to let the B-Players escape. And...well...

I guess we now know why Netossa was crying in the trailer. 

Fuck.

[fireflyfish]

Hop on the Wen Chao Haterade Express!

Hahah! I hope you weren’t expecting something about Tano and Kenobi right? Because I have thoughts that must be shared with others and you are all my unwilling victims. Can one be a willing victim? 

Episode 17: Wei Wuxian goes to the Ancient China Google School of Medicine

After Episode 16: Running and Crying; Now with Running and Crying In The Rain we left our hero sitting in a boat having an existential crisis because that’s what happens in boats in ancient China. Crises and crying. Nothing good happens in boats in Ancient Fantasy China. Wen Chao was probably born in a boat. 

Wen Ning is flawless and really strong for the local Woobie Badass and carries our 200 lbs of whoopass and Mommy issues to the crisis boat and Wei Wuxian with the promise that everyone back in Lotus Pier is drugged off their asses and will wake up with the same headache I have every morning when I remember the state of the world I’m living in.

There is no ibuprofen that can save you Wen Chao. I hope you suffer you unmitigated twat. I hope you trip on every loose board in Lotus Pier and break all your toes. I hope your hideously tacky and vicious little bloodsucking mosquito of a girlfriend lands face first into a pile of fire ants. I hope... 

Woah... I’m not even sure I hate Palpatine that much. Wow. Fire ants... damn. I need to calm down. 

Eh-hem. So When-Will-His-Face-Make-an-Expression Zhuli is very zen about the whole thing and I just don’t get his character. What is going on? Why is he all :| when he is serving the Wen Clan? He seems so annoyed by Wen Chao, which automatically makes him better than all the other Evil Wens, but he still goes around melting cores and killing Beloved Parental Figures and having respectful dialogue like he’s not the bag man for the WORST heir to a fantasy throne since Game of Thrones. I bet he and Joffrey when to some kind of evil royal boarding school together. Ramsay Bolton was probably there too.

Then we float on a boat of sadness and pick up Yanli, who is understandably sad and say goodbye to an old lady who I think is going to die off screen? Who are you? Where did you come from? Does Jiang Cheng need to avenge you too? 

The boat floats on until it transforms into a cool box carriage thing and My Perfect Son Who Gives Me Echo Vibes smuggles our beleaguered family into the earth kingdom Yiling which hold up! Isn’t that where Wei Wuxian is supposed to be like the Great and Terrible Yiling Patriarch? Where he did such horrible things like make a compass that detects ghosts and cool goth varsity flags that summon ghosts? I feel like this place is important and LOOK AT ALL THE TREES!!! *cries in Central Texan about trees* 

My Other Equally Perfect Son Who Does Not Deserve This Jiang Cheng is sick and feverish and Wei Wuxian decides this is the perfect time to get him a blinging black cape with red accents and I swear I am hearing the Imperial March in the background. The I-Do-Bad-Things-For-Reasons-I-Think-Are-Good-But-Are-Ultimately-Bad-And-My-Light-Side-Boyfriend-Gets-His-Heartbroken-Because-Of-It vibe is very strong.

Anyway, Dr Wen Qing Medicine Woman shows up and looks at her baby brother and understandably gives into that sweet innocent face because Wen Ning Has Done Nothing Wrong In His Life. AND WHY THE HELL IS HE THE GHOST GENERAL?? WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY PRECIOUS SON WEI WUXIAN??? DO I NEED JIANG CHENG TO STAB YOU AGAIN?

After some ancient Chinese medicine, which looks so much more pleasant than my last visit to the GP, The Radiant Goddess Wen Qing explains that Jiang Cheng has no golden core and that’s clearly bad but it isn’t until Jiang Cheng wakes up and tries to apparently suckerpunch Wei Wuxian with all his spiritual energy that we learn the truth.

Wen Zhuli is a Monster and He Hurt My Precious Child. Madam Yu energy intensifies.

So then Wei Wuxian basically badgers Wen Qing into letting him look at all her medical books and of we go into a studying monologue where time is measured in stubble and plates of uneaten food. Wen Qing is being very patient and gorgeous about the whole thing even though she knows there’s Nothing You Can Do Anakin Wei Wuxian. You Cannot Keep People From Dying Rebuild People’s Golden Cores After The Palm d’Or of Death Smacks Them. 

Then Wei Wuxian makes Yanli cry and he is on my List now because Yanli is Perfect and Flawless and none of you bastards deserve her, except you Wen Ning or possibly Meng Yao WHERE IS HE? HOW DID HE NOT DIE FROM BEING STABBED IN THE CHEST? QUI-GON JINN FELL OVER LIKE A SACK OF BAD POTATOES BUT MENG YAO IS JUST OUT THERE LOOKING FOR WORK WITH A BLEEDING CHEST WOUND?

Then Wei Wuxian mentions Lan Zhan and Yanli tells him “Listen, Asshole. ACheng is Sick and trapped in an acupuncture coma because he won’t sleep, I am ominously coughing and you have HIDEOUS stubble. Your Robot Bunny Boyfriend will just have to wait. We are the A plotline in this story, not your bromance with the reserved and gorgeous nerd in the back of the classroom who knows all the answers because he’s already finished the text book. Focus on my face and my tears you idiot. You made me cry!”

Wei Wuxian understandably feels bad, sleeps, shaves and then goes back to studying after Wen “I am so going to regret this in two episodes” Qing picks up her library and decides that someone with ACTUAL medical experience should be doing some research. 

Also... what is going on with those pots that Yanli and Wen Ning keep fanning? What is in those? Medicine? Ox bone soup? Poison I can give to Wen Chao?

After some more lovely shots of Yiling that REALLY make me want to hire their set designer to build my dream house, Wei Wuxian finds the wooden scroll book “How to Give Your Core To Your Adopted Brother Because You Have SO Much Guilt And Also Your Promised Your Adopted Father Figure You Would Take Care of Him And They Don’t Have Talk Therapy In Fantasy China Yet”. 

There is some dramatic sitting, some dramatic “Hell No I am not doing this” on Wen Qing’s part and lots of “No, really, you have to do this. I am totally okay sacrificing for the Jiangs because it’s REALLY going to make everything hurt so much worse later on when ACheng murders me to death on the edge of a cliff on Mustafar Quishan” 

Wen Qing is probably thinking of all the horrible ways this could go south and is trying to be An Adult when Wen Ning shows up and is pure and good and full of faith and devotion to Wei Wuxian and I think I need to send a clone extraction team to rescue my poor baby boy. 

Unable to withstand the purity of Wen Ning’s smile and because the script says she has to Wen Qing agrees and gives us some ominous stats and Wei Wuxian is cool with that because “It might work and if it doesn’t who cares? Wen Chao is going to show up at any minute to murder us and probably you and Wen Ning and then Lan Zhan will show up with his Guzheng (yes I did have to google that) Of Pretty Magical Death and then we’ll just have to wait for the next episode after that where everybody magically survives except all the people *I* like because that’s how these things go.”

WHEN DOES WEN CHAO DIE? HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO GET FROM LOTUS PIER TO YILING BECAUSE IT FEELS LIKE IT’S TAKING WAY TOO LONG AND I AM SO VERY WORRIED ABOUT YANLI’S COUGHING. WHAT IS THE STYGIAN TIGER AMULET AND WHEN DO WE GO BACK TO THE FUTURE?? 

WHEN DOES WEN CHAO DIE?????? 

[luckyjak]

Why I Don’t Ship Widojest: A Master Post

An anon sent me an ask about this topic, and I debated for quite a bit about how to answer it. Then I decided the best way was to do a long post like this. I put a lot of thought into why I don’t like it, and I thought to share it.

A few things: 1) I am not telling you not to ship it. The goal of this is not to say “Don’t ship Widojest! It is a bad ship and you are a bad person for shipping it!” That is not my goal, okay? The internet and fandom in particular is meant for fun, and if you enjoy Widojest then more power to you! Don’t let me or anyone else stop your fun! Lord knows I have shipped significantly more problematic things. All I ask is that you tag shit more but that’s beside the point.

2) I am not particularly interested in argument. You are not likely to change my mind. I am not trying to be hostile, but if you know reading this is going to piss you off, then don’t read it. A question was asked of me, and so I thought to share my opinion. Unfortunately for everyone involved I am a high school English teacher, and so I cannot think about anything without completely overthinking it.

About my shipping preferences: generally, I like all the ships! I was particularly fond of Widomauk before Molly died, and I now I really enjoy Shadowgast, but I also like Fjorclay, Fjester, Beaujester, Beauyasha, Widofjord, Clayleb, Lavorclay, and, as the only person on earth, Yasha/Caleb. Hell, if Astrid gets a good redemption arc? Caleb/Astrid or even Caleb/Astrid/Edowulf. Any of those ships could become canon and I’d be tickled pink! You can even throw Nott into the mix, even though I mostly ship her with her husband. Nott/Fjord? Delightful. Nott/Caleb? Weird flex but why not? Nott/Jester? Absolutely! They are the best detectives!

I just don’t like Widojest and I don’t want it to be canon, and here’s why:

Doyalist Reasons First:

1) Laura and Liam played twins for years, still act like siblings even though they aren’t related by blood, and it squicks me to think of them together romantically.

Laura and Liam are fantastic actors. If they were hired to play a romantic couple, I have no doubt in my mind they could knock it out of the park.

But why on earth would they want to pretend to be a romantic couple, in a game they both play for fun? 

It would be weird. I play D&D with several guys I consider my brothers, and I can’t imagine pretending to romance either of them in d&d for that same reason. It would be weird. 

Maybe it wouldn’t be weird for Liam and Laura. Maybe they are more dedicated to their RP, and they’d be able to push that aside for the sake of fictional romance. But for me, that would be the last thing I’d want to play, and I suppose I project that onto Laura/Liam.

2) A lot of “evidence” for the ship is the way Liam looks at Laura.

To which I say...did you watch Vox Machina?

That’s how Liam looks at Laura all the time. He’s the president of her fanclub. He’s her twinsie. He always looks at her with hearteyes. I have a hard time seeing that as “evidence” for him having feelings for her when...that’s just what his face looks like.

Now, for Watsion reasons:

3) It has all the benefits for Caleb, and none for Jester

Seriously. What does Jester get out of a relationship with Caleb?

Don’t say someone who understands her, because Caleb certainly doesn’t. In fact, the only person who routinely “gets” Jester is Beau. (see: their conversation on the ship.)

Lots of people accuse Widojest as being a Manic Pixie Dream Girl ship because...let’s be realistic, it has all the makings of one. Tortured, broody man meets young, innocent girl who teaches him to enjoy life once again? Wikipedia’s definition is “[girl with] eccentric personality quirks and are unabashedly girlish. They invariably serve as the romantic interest for a (most often brooding or depressed) male protagonist.” Guys, that is textbook Manic Pixie Dream Girl! It gets even worse because Jester’s character is a healer! You want her to heal him? That is squicky!

And yeah, I trust Liam and Laura to be more nuanced than that, but do you know who I absolutely do not trust to be more nuanced?

The fandom. The fandom that is already producing mass amounts of Manic Pixie Dream Girl fanfic. And as that’s where I spend a lot of my free time...egads. I do not want that.

The few Widojest fics I have read (which, admittedly, are not a lot, because again, I don’t like the ship. The few I have read have been tagged as gen and then come to find out, weren’t.) have the distinct problem of woobie-fying Caleb so that Jester can take care of him, and gosh, I do not want that to become a trend. 

4) Age Gap

Yes, thirteen years is not that major of an age gap. Yes, Fjord/Jester also have a large age gap.

However, there is a world of difference between “20 year old girl displays romantic interest in a 30 year old man, who decides he likes her back after getting to know her for months” vs “33 year old man decides to pursue a 20 year old woman after they danced one time when he was drunk and held hands and she showed general concern for his well-being.” One is decidedly more creepy.

(And would Jester be the one to pursue a relationship with Caleb? I almost think she’d have to, but again, why would Jester ever pursue Caleb when Fjord/Beau are right there.)

(Also, side note that I thought about making it’s own point but then decided it was petty: if Jester’s type is Fjord--tall, broad-shouldered, dark haired, muscled, then Caleb--skinny, red-head, shorter than Fjord--decidedly isn’t her type.

You know who is tall, dark, and handsome though? Beau.) 

And do not say Jester is mature for her age, because she absolutely isn’t! In fact, the whole point of her character is that she’s not mature, she’s very immature and childish on account of her being locked away and being incredibly sheltered most of her life! 

Also not a good excuse: Caleb spent 11 years in the asylum and therefore he’s only mentally in his 20s. Uh, no he’s not. He was in an asylum: he was not brain dead. He lived those years. He might’ve been crazy, but he was alive then. Nothing Liam’s done suggests that Caleb is mentally in his 20′s.

5) What would they even talk about?

This is probably actually the one that bothers me the most out of all these reasons, but uh....what would Caleb and Jester talk about, if they were in a relationship together?

Seriously.

They could talk about books? But Jester only ever reads terrible romance and smut. We saw when she tried to pay attention to the dunamancy lessons that she struggles to be interested in that academic stuff that is Caleb’s bread and butter. They could talk about their childhoods? That will go over well. Jester was locked away from society and Caleb straight up murdered his beloved parents. If they manage to avoid that, I’m sure they could fight again over income, what with Jester being a rich kid and Caleb being a poor farm boy. Pranking? Caleb enjoys a good prank now and again, but I can only imagine he’d tolerate getting banned from so many libraries.

They are a cat and a dog, literally. Caleb is an introvert and his idea of a good time is a quiet night at home with a good book. Jester’s idea of a good time is a party with lots of people! Yet I’m supposed to believe they’d have a happy and fulfilling relationship? Don’t get me wrong, many introverts and extroverts do get married in real life, but like...I have a hard time seeing this one working out. How many dicks do you think Jester draws in his spellbooks--which are expensive and time-consuming and require precise work--before that becomes a point of contention? 

6) He doesn’t trust her enough to tell her his secrets

Hey quick poll! Who in the Mighty Nein doesn’t know that Caleb murdered his parents?

Fjord. Caduceus. And look, Jester.

I have a hard time buying that he sees her romantically when he can’t even tell her one of the biggest things about him. And he’s known her for months at this point.

If I liked a guy, and I found out he had this big secret, and he had told Beau but not me this secret? I would think he didn’t trust me.

I suppose you could argue that he’s trying to protect her. But then that just goes back into the whole “he doesn’t trust her” argument. He even had the opportunity to and he didn’t during their whole hand-holding thing a few episodes ago!

7) What does their ending look like? 

Listen, my ideal ending for Caleb at the moment is “maybe after ten years of friendship he lets Essek tenderly hold his hand for just a moment but no longer” but that’s just me. I see a lot of people who seem to think Caleb’s going to settle down and marry Jester and they are going to have kids, and I just--

Caleb? Having children? Caleb, who murdered his parents and has severe PTSD surrounding that? Caleb, who was abused by his mentor daily for many years? You want to give that Caleb children??? Children who he would constantly worry may grow up to kill him, like he did his own parents, or worse, that he’d do something to accidentally hurt them in a fit of madness?

I could see Caleb maybe adopting a kid if one was forced onto him, but I cannot see him going “ah yes we should procreate!” 

Jester, meanwhile, needs like approximately fifteen kids ten years from now, I think. She’d love them. She’d just adopt an orphanage and let the kids run wild and be the best at playing games with them.

Also, character arcs are important. Because Caleb’s ideal ending is stability and Jester’s is exploration.

Caleb, traumatized child soldier who has spent the past 15 years in an asylum and also fighting for his life, and before that spent time traveling between the Zemni Fields, Ikithon’s home in the country, and the Empire’s Capitol, who then escaped the asylum and spent all of his time running, trying to avoid being caught by Ikithon. The best ending for Caleb is to find peace; peace that involves not having to move around anymore, and having a home again, something he hasn’t had in almost twenty years. Maybe that home is a tower in Nicodranas. Maybe it’s a house in Xhoras with six other people. Maybe it’s a quiet bookstore in Zadash, or a little cabin in the Zemni Fields. A garden/graveyard in the woods. Either way, it doesn’t involve a lot of travel from place to place.

Meanwhile, Jester, who was trapped in exactly one place for her entire life, deserves a chance to explore the world. Even when the Mighty Nein disband, I can’t see Jester being happy to just go back to Nicodranas and stay there for the rest of her life. She may settle down eventually, but uhhh, not for several decades, I don’t think. Part of why my two big ships for her are Fjord and Beau: Fjord wants to be a sailor again, I think, which involves travelling the world, so I could see Jester going out with him. Beau, likewise, is an Expositor whose job is to seek out corruption, which again, means travelling, which Jester would be happy to do with her. Hell, the three of them could go together, sailing and punching evil for all of time! It would be great!

(Also: her god is called the TRAVELER why would you want her to settle down and be a mom??? What part of her story makes you think she needs to stay in one place?)

Lastly

I apologize if this post offends anyone. I’ve just been thinking about it for a while, and while Widojest as a ship has surged in popularity, I suppose I wanted to make a counterpoint about my feelings towards the ship. This isn’t meant as an attack on anyone, again, and please, if you like the ship then don’t look at this as a reason to stop liking it! Fandom is for fun! Keep liking what you like!

And I can’t promise I’m always going to feel this way about the ship--hell, the VOD of Thursday’s episode may come out on Monday, and I may watch it and be converted myself. Who knows! I didn’t like Vax/Keyleth at first either, but it grew on me and now it’s one of my favorites from Vox Machina.

(ALTHOUGH Mr. O’brien I swear to God if you romance Jester while flirting with Essek in a direct parallel to Keyleth/Vax/Gilmore I’m going to fly to LA just to punch you.)

Part of me wonders too if it just comes down to character interpretation, if there is something about their characters that is clicking for some people but isn’t for me. Admittedly, I love Caleb and Jester’s friendship, and I see them more as growing like siblings that romantically, but I’ve been wrong before and who knows, I may be wrong again. But if it is a character interpretation, I just wonder what they are seeing about the characters that squicks me but appeals to them.

[jancys-blue-bayou]

Not to sound like a bitch or anything, but with the Stobin+Dustin+Erica storyline only one of these is an original main and they have their own storyline. Meanwhile the other group is 7 people stuffed together where only Will, El and maybe Nancy + Mike might have decent screen time

(pasting the asks together): Continuing on my previous ask, the bigger group should obviously have more screen time but it’ll definitely be the meme group having more or equal screen time (equal screen time isn’t fair either because there are twice as many characters in the other group almost all of which have been mains from the start)

I mean, I am excited for Nancy and Jonathan with the kids. I get the worry about how much each individual character will get to do when it’s so many thrown together but I think it can be good. Especially since it looks like Nancy and Jonathan start on their own storyline first and then link up with the kids midway through. So I hope we can get good Jancy content with both Nancy and Jonathan getting to do stuff, and just from the trailer we have two clips of seemingly tense important scenes with just them and not the kids. And we should get them interacting with their siblings which is great. I think out of the kids I’m most worried about Lucas, how much he’ll get to do since the trailer didn’t give us much. He’ll have stuff with Max presumably but the trailer put more emphasis on El and Max friendship (YESSS!!) and didn’t have much of him. Then again the trailer didn’t have much Joyce or Hopper or stuff about the Russian plot so I guess could be possible he has great stuff they just didn’t wanna show yet. So I get the worry about individual characters in that big ensemble but I think the ensemble will be awesome.

The other thing though, on screentime devoted to that plotline vs Stobin+Dustin+Erica plot line I’m totally with you on. No doubt in my mind they will continue to zero in on and prioritize meme Steve to the detriment of the show. I think it’s notable how they have to use other characters and even invent new ones just to prop up Steve and shoehorn him into the narrative. Since he doesn’t fit the bill of nerds/outcasts/freaks being the heroes they have to change his characters around completely from what he originally was, the out of nowhere heel face turn in s1 wasn’t enough so in s2 they had to make him “a loser” by losing status at school to Billy and poor woobie being dumped and then throw him together with Dustin to still keep him around. They couldn’t make him a nerd so they went with he babysits the nerd kid instead. And now they invented a new character for him to have a love interest and also threw Erica in there, who I greatly enjoyed in her brief appearances in s2 but who also became a smaller meme.

One character drawn away from the group, one minor character elevated to a bigger role, and one new character invented, all just to serve Steve. And the group is so random and I think it will become painfully obvious as we have the two groups, the meme group and Jancy and the rest of the kids, where the heart and core of the show is. With the exception of Dustin (and sans Jopper who got their own stuff) all the original heroes we fell in love with are together in one plot line, and they’ll keep cutting away to the meme group and it will be weird.

[serenagaywaterford]

i’m getting a little anxious about s3. and not in a good way.  (don’t worry. i’m not talking about tuello/serena again.)

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT

mostly cos there’s that article that confirmed basically what we already sorta knew: that june is gonna be at lawrence’s as his handmaid. (so at least no more ceremony rape which is nice.)

but forgive me... but i’m pessimistic about the fracturing of the main cast. that never really works well? and we’ve already seen how tht handles it. (not well lol)

now we have june, serena, nick, janine, and moira all in different places with divergent stories. (we know emily and nichole will join up with moira, luke, and erin. and likely sylvia and oliver. so there’s a whole canada crew.) i mean janine has never been a core player but she’s fairly important. and rita... will... likely go with the waterfords wherever they go.

but without june at the waterfords, she’s separated from serena, fred, nick, and janine all in one swoop. (but then of course the waterfords burns down so lol)

now, things i’m really not interested in which i feel are going to take up a lot of time because of this fractured cast:

- serena and fred’s failing relationship. call me biased but i honestly don’t give a shit. i don’t care about fred’s feelings in any way whatsoever. i don’t care about him being sad. or angry. or anything. i simply do not care about him. he needs to die this season. him being upset at his wife who hates him now is so dull. i love serena, i care about what is happening with her character but fred is an accessory to that, not the centre of it. i know there has to be something about him cos he’s tied to serena’s character in many ways, but i’m not here for Poor Fred’s Sad Times Manpain.

- nick being in the army or whatever. i just don’t think he’s a strong enough actor or character to carry scenes by himself. it only worked cos he was playing opposite powerhitters like moss, fiennes, and strahovski (even sweeney). without them to carry the scenes, i fear i’m gonna be bored af. even as a character, he’s just... not that interesting. sorry. the show has managed to actually strip the book character of his moderate complexity and made him into some flat love-interest cliche. who magically survives every treasonous thing he does. so for him to suddenly be a tough guy who is commanding a guardian regiment is fucking laughable. just plain batty. thus, because it’s so nonsensical, it bores me. nick, just in general, bores the fuck outta me on a good day. i dread s3 scenes with him. how nick isn’t fucking DEAD by now for all the shit he’s pulled on waterford it’s bonkers. at the very least, as an eye he should have been removed from that assignment. but i digress. yawn.

- lawrence/june stand-offs or lessons or whatever they wanna frame them as. “he’s testing her”. UGH. i mean, i don’t mind some of it (and apparently they’re gonna partner up)... but i really will be bored when every scene of her in a household is just a showdown of some kind with lawrence. quite frankly, again, maybe i’m just a misandrist but i give zero shits about lawrence either. i don’t wanna her about his pathetic man-struggles and his humanity. i don’t care about his regrets. 

here’s how it goes: i do not care about the men. period. like, there’s no mystery about why men do what they do. there’s no complexity. their stories like this have been told 6,203,009,484,836,334 times already in fiction. we see them in our history books over and over. there have been a million psychological treatises on why nazi men did what they did. why lawrence went along with it, why he continued it, what his contribution was, etc. etc. --- i. do. not. care. i really don’t care about him teaching june the trolley problem or whatever the point is. if the general audience is that lacking in ethical philosophy they need to be taught this, maybe this show is too much already. i also am not here for him using this to excuse his fascism. so, basically, my issue is i don’t care about lawrence. i’ve heard his story a 100 times already. 101 isn’t gonna make it somehow mind-blowing. or even interesting to me...

- lawrence flashbacks will be the death of me, and not in a fun good way. do not show me them. do not waste my precious fucking time on this loser dickhead.

- luke... well, i do sorta care about how the refugees are doing. mostly cos the show has handled it SO BADLY THUS FAR. they made it look super easy and just. no. their canada-side of things has been shit and completely bogus unrealistic. (but then i suspect atwood is partly to blame for that lol.) but i mean, the last thing i need is another full episode dedicated to woobie luke’s woes.

- basically, i give no shits about manpain in this show. none. every second of manpain is a second that a woman’s story is sidelined.

so, my issue with the set up is that when you separate the core characters, they all become strangely boring. what is interesting is their dynamics. and the fact that unless you are june, your story is really thrown to the wayside if you’re removed from her. look how they treated moira last season. and luke. even emily to some degree (but not nearly as badly as moira). she got fuck all to really do or be. luke, even worse. (not that i’m really complaining about that tbh.) emily and janine’s colonies subplots were hack jobs just to show what a colony is. 

now, fair play, i am 100% biased but the only character other than june that comes close to being able to carry a whole, complex story solo is serena. (hello 209). which, ofc, i’m not opposed to. but again, there is something missing in her narrative when she’s isolated from june for too long. 

moira could, if they’d let her. but so far they’ve squandered wiley’s talents and moira’s potential.

it’s sorta exactly because of how they’ve dealt with moira that i fear what will happen when they pull apart the main cast to this degree. yes, it’s the handmaid’s tale. yes, the book was a june solo story. but the show itself has always showed itself to be about other handmaid’s and women in general, almost as much. and how all these women interact. 

the thing is, the show is already treading dangerously into the ridiculous with half these characters even still being alive (june, janine, nick, emily), so it would take a shitload of magic for them to all stay together in one place. and when you pull them apart, it takes some magical deus ex machina shit to put them all back in the same place (hence that weird baptism thing when absolutely insanely they allow janine and the putnams in the same room lmao. plus june, serena, fred, aunt lydia... like yeah right. why doesn’t nick just show up too? hell, moira could stop in for a bite too. why not. nothing matters anymore.)

i dunno. maybe i’m just really cynical and pessimistic... but i don’t like the way it feels. pulling one character out is one thing. having two separate groups of different sides of the border is one thing. having every main character in their own story world is quite another. either the writers actually know what they’re doing after fucking moira & co. over last season, or it’s gonna be a rehash of that and we’re gonna be left with a lot of unsatisfactory, half-baked independent narrative arcs that don’t really weave back into each other in any sensible way.

on a completely separate level, i’m anxious cos of what they’re turning june into.

if the articles are to be believed, they’re making june become... some sort of rebel leader, loose with morality.

“You have to fight fire with fire,” Moss teases. “That’s become [June’s] journey in season 3. To fight against the people she has to fight, she has to become more like them.” Adds Miller: “We’re not doing a montage of June being radicalized — it’s 13 episodes. To see someone go through this process of becoming ruthless was a real challenge. We didn’t want to sensationalize it, or make it too morally easy, either.”

*sigh*

part of what i liked about june was that no matter how awful people were, she was always* very present and empathetic, and yeah she made stupid decisions, was selfish and narrow-minded at times, but inherently a GOOD--if flawed--character. i don’t wanna see serena 2.0. we have a serena, thanks, and she’s a bad person and the whole point is we want her to become a better person, not make june become a worse person to fit in with her lol. i don’t mind june harnessing some of that grit and power and cutthroat attitude, but serena is one of the weakest people and emulating her isn’t the best idea? am i crazy? i especially don’t need to see june turn into lawrence’s rebellious protege.

i dunno... it bothers me when every story about women ends up with “well they have to be more like men! that’s real power!!” (and i’m side-eyeing the male showrunner and male writers so fucking hard rn.) i’m not naive. i know some change is necessary, and to fight such a perverse system you have to infiltrate it, violently fight against it, and understand it. but you don’t need to become it. or again, maybe i’m just naive?

I DO NOT WANT “RUTHLESS JUNE”.

i’m sorry. i don’t. do some ruthless things, yes, that’s probably inevitable but to become a ruthless person? yikes. how has gilead not won then? it seems it has.

(*with the exception of eden. don’t even get me started...)

maybe i just need a cup of chamomile tea and to shut the fuck up until i actually watch it.

[somuchbetterthanthat]

EPISODE 22 - Colony 

Now, that statement creeps me out because, well, Jane Prentiss, and worms. (the worms sounds are only okay now because I know how they made them)

 Since this story is obviously full Martin & Jon, I’m not going to write all of what happens, just - keep a few key interactions between them that show a bit more of their relationship, if that make sense? I hope it makes sense. 

“Well, I need to tell someone what happened, and you can vouch for the soundness of my mind, can’t you?” “...That is beside the point.”

“I didn’t want to come back to you without due diligence though, I’ve learnt that lesson”

“You’re going to think I’m an idiot [...]”

“Look, I know you hate the word, but It was really... spooky.”

“I was worried I hadn’t really done enough investigation for you” 

“I just wanted to take a picture of the thing. To prove to you it happened. You’re always so quick to dismiss those statements and I wanted proof for you.”

“You’re sure about all this Martin?” “Look I’m not going to lie about something like this to you, Jon. I like my job... Most of the time.”

‘Very well, in that case, there’s a room in the Archives I used to sleep when working late. I suggest you stay there for now [...].” “Oh - I - oh.. Okay. Thanks. To be honest I d-didn’t expect you to... take it seriously.”

“In that time I have received several text messages  from your phone [...] But my calls trying to follow up were never answered.”     

 SUPPLEMENT

- Okay so, here’s the thing: That episode is - weirdly enough I suppose - the one where I stopped thinking that Jon/Martin would be a thing. Obviously now I’ve got a very different opinion but here’s the thing: Jon’s voice sounds kinda old, and Alex’s voice sounds kinda young. At this point, I just suddenly thought that Martin was way, way younger than Jon, and that’s just not a relationship I was interested in. So I moved on from my first vague shippy impressions. 

- I’m so sad for Martin. I’m so, utterly, completely sad for Martin. Two weeks without anyone caring of where he was. Nobody coming to check on him. Though hey - Jon tried calling! I’m sure Martin’s phone is full of voicemails being like “STOP BEING SICK AND COME BACK TO WORK, mARTIN” or something like that at this point

- Obviously this is a very pivotal episode for Martin and Jon. First, we finally hear Martin’s voice! He’s here, the infamous, “useless” assistant! And he so clearly, so BADLY wants to impress Jon? He wants to do good work, he’s anxious about not doing enough! And the whole “sceptic/believer” thing is a rather big thing of their dynamics in season 1, since Martin’s first thought as he watches Jane is TO WANT TO TAKE A PICTURE TO THROW IT AT JON’S FACE. He also seems so genuinely surprised and taken aback by Jon telling him he can stay at the institute - which is truly not surprising after we’ve heard twenty episodes of Jon’s being an ass about Martin, and even in this episode itself he starts off by doubting Martin’s word to the point of not being sure a statement is needed (SERIOUSLY JON, tho that one is turning painfully ironic now) and even after still asking “you’re sure about this”. 

- But Jon still offers, because, deep down, Jon’s not the worst person in the world, and he wants Martin’s safe (that’s a low bar, but at least he reaches it). And that’s a gesture that he’d have offered to everybody, there’s no doubt of it, but It would have been less impactful or surprising if everything had happened to Sasha or Tim, since we can gather that Jon likes them in a way he just doesn’t Martin. 

- There is something confrontational and snippy about Martin that I enjoy here. He really wants to impress Jon, but he faces him heads on without flinching - an attitude will see time and time again later on that I enjoy thoroughly. It’s easy to think of Martin as a poor woobie boy but the fact is, this man stands up for himself time and time again, and doesn’t let the bad treatments of others stop him.  

- I didn’t put the line above because it’s not exactly relationship material but “Keep him. We had our fun.  He will want to see it when the Archivist's crimson fate arrives.” I’m so CURIOUS about this. Is it refering only to the infestation at the end of season 1? Or is something... Bigger, more long-term? There are big chances Martin will see the Archivist’s crimson fate.

- Conclusion of this episode: Protect and love and cherish Martin Blackwood forever, 2k19

-and on that note, I am now going to bed. Y’all are free. for now.

[eisforeidolon]

Episode: Exodus

What is there to say about this episode, really?  It could have been worse?  At least we got a brother hug out of it?  Oh, look, it’s that part of the season where all the places the arc plot failed get desperately glossed over with even more flimflam?   ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Yeah, I did appreciate the hug and how Sam and Dean had to look away from each other's eyes after and move on to deal with the crap they were still in the middle of.  Of course Dean figures it's all good if Sam is alive, even if he comes with such fugly baggage.  So there was that good moment. Although it was right after Sam set a timer on his phone for twenty one hours.  Which was a rough estimate, not a definitive timeline.  Given by Lucifer.  You know, Lucifer.  Sigh.

The main problem this episode had was that it really desperately wanted to show a conflict for Jack between everyone else and Lucifer trying to win him over.  Even if you take out the part where earlier this season Jack said he didn't actually feel anything in favor of him now having flashbacks o' guilt?  Which has its own issues in terms of the writers going for innately good woobie Jack instead of anything with more nuance?  Everyone in this episode acted as if Lucifer had pulled some kind of angel mojo off-screen to keep them from speaking against him. 

Dean just keeps yelling for Lucifer to shut up – without actually giving Jack any reason for the hostility.  Sam basically avoids the whole situation, as does Gabriel.  Castiel stands RIGHT THERE like a goddamn piece of furniture while Lucifer spews out his same old tired oh-poor-misunderstood-me spiel.  They don't have to engage with the bullshit claims about Lucifer corrupting humanity he’s whining about, just say all the shit he personally did!  Creating demons from twisting human souls.  Torturing Sam for keeping him from his plans to destroy the world.  Lying - including to, notably, Jack's mother.  There is no real conflict here and you can't make a believable one happen by just having everyone go suspiciously mute for reasons, ffs!

Also, remember all that nonsense in season eleven about how Lucifer turning against God wasn't entirely his fault, it was because he had the Mark of Cain?  Remember how we had the Winchesters bizarrely advocate for his ass to make God apologize to him for being such a meaniehead?  Except, oh, whoops, when they have their big talk, Gabriel is back to saying that it actually was all Lucifer's fault again.  Without any mention of the Mark's influence from him or in any of Lucifer's pity party speeches.  LOL!canon.  

Then we have the usual crap with Mary, the woman who is desperate to bond with anyone … who isn't blood related to her.  The Winchesters were worried all season about saving Mary, desperate enough to risk tearing the fabric of the universe – for reasons!  Despite how many other characters they had much closer actual good relationships to they've let go.  Here, they finally find Mary - who blithely (and rather insensitivity, considering Sam just died) goes on about how she totally understands how they went to so much trouble! Buuuut, fuck off home boys I will always find somebody I care about more than you!  That whole big, cathartic hug and resolve to have a real relationship with each other?  Oh, look, the writers turned that clock right back just to give us more bullshit shallow soap drama of the Winchesters being super invested in a Mary who clearly does not actually give a single fuck about them and isn't shy about letting that show.  I mean, if I felt like the writers were doing this on purpose, intending for us to feel like Mary is just a deeply shitty person at her core, at least that would be something.  Instead they keep trying to insist there's a relationship here both ends care about but, oops, ~*somehow*~ abandonment drama keeps happening!  I honestly don't know why I'm supposed to find Mary any less contemptuous than Samuel Campbell.  Seriously, why?  I question whether she would literally adopt Lucifer before she would be considerate of Sam and Dean's feelings at this point.  I don't get why they, or I, should care about her given the givens.  AT ALL, let alone to the point of risking reality - or are we forgetting about that whole warning thing from Billie completely?  Which is not even to mention the way Mary basically laughs at Dean's concern Jack could go dark side.  Oh yeah, the woman who spent last season being duped by the BMOL and schtupping Ketch obviously has superior judgment about things like that!  Not to mention the irony of her saying of course Jack will be interested, Lucifer's his father, no harm can come of that!  Or are we not supposed to draw a parallel between how much Sam and Dean risked this season in the name of their likewise shit mother for no more substantial connection?  

At this point I honestly wonder, does Singer or somebody else on staff have an unholy fuckton of mommy issues?  First there was that whole horrible tumor of a plotline with Crowley and Rowena and now this nonsense.   Oh, but look, Mary's soooo cool, she's such a “badass” fighter and keeps punching Lucifer in the face, LOL!  That totally makes up for it!  In short - fuck you, SPN writers, for once again making alive!Mary less of an understandable three-dimensional character than she was when she was dead.  

After the reunionating, we waste some time with some random Apocaworld NPCs.  Remember how Michael was supposedly amassing his forces at a weak point between realities and was going to break through and attack the regular world at any time?  On top of the whole rift spell thing?  Time sensitive, nah, the good guys are going to sit here waffling back and forth for a while with some nobodies and a replacement goldfish Bobby about whether they should stay in their burned out world.  Who cares?  I don't.  It’s especially comical following as it does after the previous week’s OMG NO TIME!!! malarkey.  Also feel pretty awkward about the celebration at the end, these people are either strangers or strangers wearing the faces of dead friends that they've just randomly invited into their supposedly secure bunker of magical artifacts.  Acting like being all blasé about it is not kinda creepy is ... really very creepy.

In terms of the whole Charlie and Ketch on a mission side plot, I think the writers were desperately trying to create some kind of meaningful parallel between regular Cas and Indiana Jones cartoon villian reject AU!Cas.  With them both doing the angel interrogation thing and the line about being the same, or whatever?  Like, if they can just desperately imply AU!Cas is actually badass then therefore vicariously...  Even still, I actually minded this ridiculous IHAVEANACCENTSOI'MADIFFERENTCHARACTER!Cas less than the previous ones?  Putting aside the part where it’s complete nonsense that he’s the only familiar angel with the same damn vessel, somehow, for reasons?  I could actually see a clueless alternate universe Cas trying to figure out how to be intimidating to humans and ending up doing a bad adventure film Nazi impression. 

Bad accent shenanigans and faux depth attempts aside, I did enjoy the rescue scene.  Not!Charlie's reaction to being hugged by a giant stranger and Ketch's look and quip at Dean particularly. While I think they missed a bit of an opportunity to make a direct Satan at the wheel joke when they had Lucifer drive the bus, I found it amusing for that nonetheless.  I also actually did like the scene between Sam and Jack and Lucifer there as they’re leaving.  Putting aside the general thrust of the episode's story and exactly why Jack figured he'd be able to pop off and kill Michael in five minutes or so, it was pretty apt to have Lucifer talk to him about thinking you're doing the right thing and having the right thing go wrong.  Of course Lucifer knows all about that - back when he was actually scary, it was how he manipulated everyone.  It's almost out of place for how much sense it makes here for him to sway Jack with that reasoning.  I also actually liked that Rowena had managed to find a way to bolster the spell and keep it open just that much longer.

Not so much in favor of how, of course, Michael shows up at the very last second.  Or how Gabriel offers to sacrifice himself by fighting more powerful AU!Michael with … basically zero grace power.  It made no sense at all, made his resurrection to ruin his redemption arc just to give him a different one even more essentially pointless, and literally the only reason Jack didn't stay behind as the most powerful member of their party to guard their retreat was scripted contrivance.  More specifically, to have Sam ditch Lucifer so Lucifer will team up with Michael and maybe to Jack be all upset?  Which, again, if it happens can only happen because no one was actually willing to tell him exactly why everyone knows his father is a dick. BECAUSE REASONS!  So much eye-rolling, so little time.

I mean, it's not like Michael wasn't already planning to come through elsewhere anyway.  It's not like they didn't already try ditching Lucifer in Apocaworld once already and saw how permanent of a solution that WASN'T (including how it gave Michael an extra source of archangel grace).  It's not like Lucifer is capable of ever figuring out redemption involves real remorse and might actually turn good so there was some real dilemma for him here beyond having to team up with someone he hates.  I guess there were actually some people that were all pissed off at Sam on Lucifer's behalf but that's incredibly gullible and weird, tbh.  Like, there are people who actually bought all that crocodile tears sad face self pity bullshit? Just … wow.

Anyway, maybe this dumb idea of an ending will have some non-contrived point that comes up in the finale episode that I haven't got to yet, but I seriously doubt it.  

[bigskydreaming]

The Hale fire happened six years before the start of TW, and as we all know, the trauma of being burned alive so affected Peter Hale, he simply can not be held accountable for any of his actions in Season One, such as forcibly drafting innocent teenagers into his game of murder bingo.

Which is to say of course, that it absolutely is not his fault nor even a bad thing that one such action involved stalking a teenage Scott in the locker room showers while he was just wearing a towel (like srsly, Peter, you perv - oh shit, my bad, sorry I almost forgot a second that you didn’t make the decision to do that, ur trauma did, ugh plz tell ur trauma to stop being such a perv and next time wait til the teenager gets dressed before forwarding the trauma chain letter, kay?). Just as of course, it is equally not his fault that his trauma implanted his memories of being burned alive into Scott’s head so Scott got to share in the joyous jollies of being werewolves roasting on an open fire.

And of course, this also conveyed to Scott the seriousness with which Peter took his game of murder bingo in the name of Vengeance On The House of Argent, but that is merely a weird and convenient coincidence, since as we already established, it wasn’t really PETER that did that in the first place, it was his trauma, and gosh, how lucky for that guy that his trauma’s actions lined up perfectly with his own desire to see everyone involved with the Hale fire turned into kibble and bits for him to nom nom on?

Which means that by the power of cause and effect and action and reaction, Scott then too was subject to the very same experiences of being burned alive that so traumatized Peter that his mea culpa was minus the mea for six whole years.

And as Teen Wolf the show lasted for six seasons aka years, by the prevailing logic of TW fandom, Scott too can not be held accountable for anything he did over the entire course of the show from that moment in late S1 all the way until the end of S6, and I can not BELIEVE that you guys have been so mean to yet another poor woobie victim of the Hale fire for ALL THIS TIME, like, how rude, let me guess, next you’re going to say that “well maybe he deserved it,” as though the Beacon Hills werewolves haven’t SUFFERED ENOUGH because of that damn fire, like WHERE WILL IT END??

Anyway, so that’s the sitch, Scott too, by virtue of being yet another casualty of that hellacious Hale fire, is as lacking in culpability for any naughty thing he did throughout the entire show as Peter is, I am so glad that after all these years of fighting we can all agree that because werewolves get a ‘get out of needing morality’ card whenever they get fried extra crispy or even just lightly toasted, Scott and Peter are both poor, innocent woobie victims of tragic circumstances and crimes against fictional supernatural creatures, the REAL racism plaguing this fandom. Its so nice to finally be able to join in solidarity with a common cause!

Don’t worry if you’re gay and bad at math like me, like, I had someone look over my equations twice and it all checks out. I’m definitely correct and you all can totally shut the fuck up now about nitpicking every single little choice Scott made over the show, since its like you all have been saying all along....its not like its really even his fault?? He has trauma??? Some werewolves are problematic True Alphas to cope????

[dragonslaved]

Now that I’ve had some time to sit on it, I did watch the 2017 B/eaty and the B/east movie so you don’t have to

Let me start first by saying: 1. yes, I did grow up with the ‘91 animated film and Belle was my first non-barbie doll I had and I took her everywhere. 2. I went in with very very low expectations. I was quoted by my roommate as having no optimism for it and was unwilling to give it a chance to which I replied, “I’m optimistic of its chance for how bad it’ll be”. 3. I came out pleasantly surprised at how entertained I was for good or ill. 

It does, as often as it can, follow the beats of the ‘91 feature. To the point it’s actually distracting. Instead of just sinking yourself into a movie, you’re mentally comparing it shot for shot to the animated feature (and in my case, considering how something else would have worked, or how it was pointless to try and recreate the imagery of “Be Our Guest” as a live action/CGI scene). Because of the editing, some sets had to be shrunken down and aren’t nearly as expansive as you’d think. The large village of people away from Belle and Maurice’s little farm cottage are now almost on top of each other, meaning she only has to walk about 3 minutes (or one song refrain) to get from one side to the other. The castle on the outside looks large, but we only see a few small rooms and again, it all feels conveniently Right There within a breath’s walking distance. 

All of this unfortunately makes the big musical numbers feel lackluster and a bit cheap. It’s one thing for a stage play to make use of its space, but it’s another when it’s a multi-million dollar film where you could do so much but they did so little and spent most of their budget on what I assume are the actors/actresses and some CGI. And even then, that felt sparse. For as much of a big deal as seeing The Beast is, we never actually saw a full length shot of him until the ballroom dance (unless my eyes are tricking me and I missed one in an earlier scene). Some of the castle servants felt static (in both motion and personality) while others were dynamic - an example: ‘91 Lumiere and Cogsworth moved, jumped, did so much while still having weight in the animation, and had fairly well rounded personalities. Live action Lumiere retained a fair bit of that, albeit cut down a hair for time constraints I assume. Cogsworth got none of this, barely moving outside a couple of specific jokes and being 100% Nervous Background Character to supplement others’ jokes. Others had similar treatments.

The editing and pacing of the film are fast and not all that encouraging. The film felt like a series of quicknotes and checkboxes the writers had to go through to make sure it was the same story. The most we sat with a character and learned anything about them was a sort of tie between Belle and Gaston - both their scenes together and their scenes alone. Belle unfortunately didn’t have much personality; I don’t know who this Belle was. Gaston we had some notion of where he came from (a war hero) and where he was going (to try and marry Belle because she was “hard to get”, another challenge). I did appreciate her very stern and blatant decline of his proposal. The film makes no debate or argument had of Nice Guys who are heroes and well loved getting what they think they should have; it’s shown as selfish and villainous with no wiggle room. 

We were expected to care a lot about characters we barely got to know, and the ones we did had no clear character direction aside from Gaston. The Beast was pompous and mansplaining but also kind and caring but also a poor woobie boy but also awkward and unsure? While it’s not impossible for someone to be all those things, we were expected to believe it with no show, only all tell. LeFou, despite all my initial anxiety and nervousness about what would be done, is what pleasantly surprised me the most but we still don’t really know what direction he was given; a long time best friend of Gaston who follows his every move until he starts really seeing how dark Gaston can get and then starts changing his mind - we see hints of it here and there, most notably in the scene before they imprison Maurice, but there just isn’t enough there. His heel face turn at the end is legitimately a black/white change and he has to say outright he’s not “on Gaston’s side” and if that’s something you have to  verbalize instead of showing, then perhaps it wasn’t written as well as you thought. There is a subplot for Mrs. Potts about her long lost husband that is resolved in the epilogue, but the thing is: nowhere in the film prior to the big battle scene were we given any indication this subplot existed. It, quite literally, sprang up from nowhere. 

Something I’m still very confused about is how they took the time and the effort to tell us this movie is in France. Here are period French clothing pieces, period French worries (the plague), period French village mindset. But hired almost an entire cast of British folks. 

Some things the film does do is clear up some plot holes fans had discussed and picked apart at length since ‘91. In the prologue, they carefully took care of the Beast’s age by simply omitting the line, “by his twenty-first birthday” when discussing his curse, thereby leaving his age and the time passed ambiguous. The script also details that the Enchantress hid the castle away and removed all memory of it from the local townspeople - so no more wondering “uh if he’s the prince of this area why didn’t anyone know about it”.  I actually appreciated those touches. We did get some backstory to Belle’s mother, which I felt a bit unnecessary and time  consuming, time they could have spent on characters we are living with now. There is also what I assume was meant to be a joke, but I didn’t take as one: a scene later of three village men getting surprise-dressed in full women’s clothing. Two run off, but the third looks down, then back up at the wardrobe and smiles very proudly and walks calmly away. I, personally, appreciate that though I’m sure others less aware probably laughed. 

Ultimately, I did like Gaston the most in this feature. Which is a shame considering he still wasn’t that great in this. The only thing I’m genuinely, truly disappointed by is the removal of my favorite line towards the end in the big climax, Gaston in the ‘91 feature mocking the Beast, asking if he’s “too kind and gentle to fight back”. Which really made the moment the Beast grabbed the bludgeon and stand up even more intimidating. Which sadly was not in this film. But I enjoyed this Gaston’s scenes more than any other in the entire movie.

It’s not the worst movie ever made, and I still find it leagues better than some of Disney’s other recent re-imaginings of their animated classics, but. Overall, a massive “eh”.

[handwithquill]

Title: Persuasion, Chapter 9

Rating: T

Pairing: RumBelle

Summary: Seven years ago, at his godfather's persuasion, Rumford Gold turned down an offer of marriage. Now, with his family estate being rented, the woman he still loves will be thrust back into his life. (or a role-reversal/gender swapped Rumbelle version of Jane Austen's Persuasion.)

A/N: The amazing cover art made by the awesome @evilsnowswan. Thank you to @betweenpaperpages for the beta!

A/N 2: If you like this fic, please think about Nominating it for Best Historical AU in the TEAs. And poor Rumford for Best Woobie. Thank you.

    The morning after Belle had stormed out of Caelum Hall, Rumford rose with the sun. His sleep had not been restful, and by the time the sky was lightening he decided on a walk, with the hope that it would calm his nerves. It seemed to work as all his mind had to concentrate on was putting one foot in front of the other, his worries seemed to float from him. He only had three weeks before he left for Pixie Hollow and after that he would never see Belle again. That would be for the best for everyone. Belle would find someone to love, maybe even Will. The most selfish part of him hoped that would not be the case, however; he knew he had no right to think that.

    The following week preceded the same way. He would awake before dawn, walk the fields, occasionally being joined by either Robin or Mr. Blanchard as they did their rounds, before going back to the cottage for breakfast. Roland's injury was healing quickly and would usually join him on those mornings. He liked taking care of his nephew, a part of his heart wondering if he would ever be granted a child.

    This day, as he turned to return to the cottage, he felt vibrations from the ground and looked to see a horse running at full speed across the field below the hill he was standing on, Belle leaning forward along its neck as she urged it faster. Another horse, traveled behind her, whom he knew held his brother-in-law on it’s back. Rumford watched as they passed below his spot and was able to catch a glance of Belle’s face while she located her competition. He felt his heart skip a beat at the joy  written across her face.

Her eyes sparkled in the late morning light and a huge grin adorned her face. He watch as she reached the end of the field and turned the horse around, where she dropped the reins and stood up in the stirrups, letting out a whoop of celebration. Will caught up to her and offered his congratulations, his voice clear enough that he could hear the two of them while they chatted before walking the horses back. As their laughter reached him, he turn and quickly made his way back to the cottage, that sight had been a frequent one around the village lately.

Belle and Will had been seen together in the marketplace the day after the dinner at Caelum Hall and the day after that, they were seen down by the river fishing; if one was seen the other was sure to be nearby. Rumford tied not to think about it, he was sure there wasn't anything left of his heart to crumble anymore.

When he made it back to the cottage that morning, he found that not only was Robin, Regina and Roland already up; but David Nolan was also there. He invited them all to a picnic at his estate of Nolan's Hedge the following day. The group thanked him and accepted the offer.

The day of the picnic dawned bright and sunny as the Blanchards, the Nolans, the Finley's and Belle assembled on the hill at Nolan's Hedge. Rumford found most of the day enjoyable, even sharing a blanket with Belle and Will hadn’t bothered him too much. The fact that Belle only looked at him once, before seeming to dismiss him, hurt, but not as much as hearing Regina and Robin speak about when Will would propose. Regina was in favor of the match, Belle had won a fortune in the wars and was rumored to be in contention to be promoted to Admiral soon, making her prospects a 'better match to our family then the Curate'. Robin attempted to temper his wife's idea and enthusiasm, sending sympathetic glances to Rumford.

When he had enough, Rumford excused himself and headed for a section of hedges that formed a small horseshoe shape. It was a good place to lose himself until he could face the gathering again. He sat and pulled a book out of his pocket, opening the cover to the flyleaf, caressing the inscription. I hope this one is to your taste, it is one of my favorites. Love, Belle. She had sent it to him with her last letter before he ended their engagement. He had carried it everywhere and if it was the last kind gesture she had for him, it would have to be enough. Even if she married Will and became his sister-in-law and her future children were to be his nieces and nephews, he would have this book and the memory of when she cared for him. He carefully turned the page, the binding creaking for so many readings, and once again starts to read the adventures of a princess who promised herself to a wizard to save her family.

He was nearly finished the second chapter when the snap of a branch let him know he was no longer alone.

“Regina is good and all,” his brother-in-law's voice came from the other side of his hiding spot, “but she has a bit too much of the Gold Pride for my taste. Robin loves her, but I think we all would have preferred it he had married Rumford.”

“Rumford?” Belle said and he tried to decide if her voice held shock or scorn. “When was this?”

“Oh,um...” Will trailed off as he thought. “It was about a year, year and a half before he married Regina. She had just returned from school and Robin was just getting over Rumford's rejection.”

“Did...Did Rumford give a reason for refusing Robin?”

“Just the usual, from what I understand. But we all think it was Zosa. Papa hadn't named Robin as his official heir yet and Mama and Papa thought that maybe Robin wasn't high enough in society yet for Zosa's satisfaction, so he persuaded Rumford to refuse him.”

Rumford was shaking his head, his eyes filling with tears, that hadn’t been it. Zosa had tried his hardest to get Rumford to accept Robin's offer, knowing that Robin would be heir and thought it would be a great match. However, Rumple couldn't bring himself to accept. His heart belonged to Belle and would always belong to Belle. To marry someone he could never love would destroy both of them and he liked Robin too much to do that.

The tears left his eyes at the thought that Mr. and Mrs. Blanchard thought that of him. They thought he would do that to their son and they still welcomed him into their home, treated him like one of their own. He didn't deserve their kindness. He deserved nothing.

“That's ridiculous!” Belle said. This time there was no doubting the hardness in her voice. “Letting someone else persuade you is a sign of weakness. If there is one thing you should know, it's your own mind!”

“I've always though so,” Will replied, then his voice changed. “If I wanted to marry someone, no one could change my mind.”

“I’m glad,” Belle said.

Rumford listened to their footsteps leading away. So that was what Belle thought of him, that he was a weak coward who didn't know his own mind. She was right, he knew, and must count herself lucky for escaping being married to him. She was a much better person then him! She was a brave soldier, a loyal friend and a smart woman who would be the light in someone's dark life. Opposed to him, who was weak and let his Godfather convince him to do something he didn’t want to do and knew, deep in his heart, he would regret. No one would ever love him the way Belle had. His family showed him that every day. He was of no use to anyone.

Once he knew it was safe, he stood and fled the field back to the cottage. There was no way anyone there could truly want him present, not with what they must truly think of him. The Blanchard’s, and the Nolan’s by extension, were the only family he had. He would not burden them with his present. Once he made it to the cottage he ran up to his room, wiping the tears from his eyes they fell on the sight of his trunks. It was two weeks before he was supposed to leave, but he would spare them having to spend that time with him. He opened his trunk and started packing. He would leave the cottage before the party returned from the picnic. No one need see him again.

[jancys-blue-bayou]

Sorry, I really need to vent. I like Steve and all, but where is this Steve was abused by parents narrative coming from??? Heck I saw a blog saying Tommy and Carol were great and all three of them are amazing friends. Again I actually like Steve, but the real one. Not this fake image fans have built in their heads. It was crazy reading all that. Didn’t know where it was coming from. Nancy is apparently abusive and wants Jonathan because he is a doormat. What are these people smoking???

Yeah it’s confusing to say the least. You can like Steve all you want but people who need to invent some sob story background for him to make him some poor woobie is just like… come on, jeez. Like the actual character instead of turning him into something he’s not? I don’t know why they stan him if they don’t like what he actually is in canon and therefore has to change him by turning him into this woobie… like it’s fine to like the privileged pretty rich white boy who’s a bully and major douchebag in season 1 and still has his issues in season 2 even though he’s made some changes for the better, you don’t have to twist him into something different. Like I’d think if you like Steve you’d be into that thing of a douchebag bully changing his attitudes around to improve as a person to someone better? Cool, be into that but you don’t have to invent some woobie background for him that’s not there. I think it is people struggling to admit they like the character who’s had it easy in life, who’s grown up privileged with money in a nice house with a stable family and all around him.

Seems like what they build this invented narrative on is:

1. Steve’s parents being “absent”.

2. Steve in s1 saying his dad is a grade-A asshole, when he dismisses Nancy’s worries about Barb and only care about his parent not finding out about the party.

3. According to Tommy, Mr. Harrington isn’t that faithful to his wife.

Like… that seems to be all their basing this on. All points are ridiculous. Regarding point 1, which seriously seems all to be based around that Steve’s parents were out of town early in s1 when he threw the party at his house. Somehow this has grown to Mr. and Mrs. Harrington apparently being constantly absent and Steve always coming home to a big empty house, like there are hundreds of fics about this. But really it’s like… it’s never implied in canon that his parents are absent like that all the time? What’s said is that his dad’s on a conference and his mom came along because she doesn’t trust him. Okay his dad goes on a work conference and maybe has regular conferences to attend but that’s… normal, for a lot of people. And his mom tagging along, leaving Steve alone, isn’t a regular occurrence. Like the whole thing about the party is that Steve, Tommy and Carol really has to jump at the opportunity to throw a party when Steve’s parents are out of town, it’s not like they constantly have an empty house to party in.

Regarding point 2 and 3, if we take Tommy’s word about Mr. Harrington’s unfaithfulness to be true, okay that’s of course awful - for Mrs. Harrington. But a husband cheating on his wife doesn’t = he abuses his kids. And Steve calling his dad a grade-A asshole… he’s a teenager, teenagers think their parents suck and call them assholes all the time. Steve thinking his dad is an asshole doesn’t mean his dad is abusive, it’s just Steve being a spoiled brat. He says that during a conversation where he’s a supreme douchebag, ignoring Nancy’s intense worry about her missing best friend to only care about himself, he doesn’t give a shit about Nancy’s worries instead just worrying about his parents finding out he had a party with beer. That tells us how self-centered and bratty Steve is when that’s his worry. And later in the season when Nancy asks him if he did get in trouble with his parents Steve says yes. But what trouble? He was worried to get in trouble with his “grade-A asshole” dad about throwing a party without permission and drinking alcohol, and apparently did get in trouble for it. But what was the nature of that “trouble”? He doesn’t seem to have faced any ramifications for it. Like, he doesn’t appear to have been punished for his behavior at all by his parents? They found out he threw a party with beer without permission but he’s not grounded, they don’t even take away his BMW temporarily or anything, he can go on just like before. If his dad was such an asshole - even abusive as these stans think - how would he get off scot-free like that?

And in season 2 we learn that Steve can take for granted that his dad will fix him up with a nice job at his firm/company. “I’m just gonna end up working for my dad anyway.” And it’s even something he looks forward to! “Is that such a bad thing?” If his dad was this grade-A abusive asshole, Steve wouldn’t be happy and carefree about going to work for him after school.

People can like Steve all they want but don’t make up some woobie sob story about abuse that’s not there at all. If you want to stan characters who’ve lived through abuse there’s plenty to choose from in canon like El, Joyce, Will, Jonathan…

And the notion that Nancy is abusive is such blatant sexist, misogynist twisting of things that I don’t even know what to say. Christ people, go on and stan your man without tearing down a female character for no reason whatsoever?!