#posting some odds and ends from my art folder. This one is from 3? maybe 4 years ago now???

[jessdrawz]

[songsformonkeys]

Digging Up Bones (whiskey x f!reader) - chapter 3

[Banner by the lovely @yespolkadotkitty ]

Summary: You work for the Statesmen as the head of their medical department. It’s your job to patch up anyone who gets back wounded and to work on ways to prevent them from getting badly wounded in the first place.

Agent Whiskey, in particular, seems to be more accident-prone than the rest and he never passes up a reason to come see you, whether for real injuries or imaginary ones. The two of you form a close friendship, which slowly turns into something more.

Then a British man with a headshot wound and a fascination with butterflies shows up in your emergency room and in the events that follow you’re forced to reevaluate just about everything you thought you knew about your partner.

Warnings: canon typical violence

Masterlist

Chapter 3

The following three days passed in a slow fashion. Not just because Whiskey was gone but the rest of the agents seemed to be staying out of harm's way as well. It was a bit boring, but that was something Tonic had taught you not to complain about out loud since it apparently made it sound like you longed for injuries and carnage.

On the bright side, the slow days gave you, Ginger, and Tonic time to begin interviewing the agents on base for their emergency folders for the Alpha-gel.

The three of you had realized that while the gel and the nanites healed the brain perfectly fine they still needed something to counter the retrograde amnesia, which seemed to be a standard side effect. The sample of agents that had needed to use the gel was still small and so you couldn't draw too many sure conclusions from it, but every single one of them so far had suffered memory loss. It had been Tonic's idea that reminders of a past trauma might jump-start the memory again. The results had been good but guessing and digging up past traumas had been painstakingly difficult and had taken up more time than ideal. So you had collectively decided that each agent should have a file or a folder containing their very worst memory and ways it could be triggered.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 On Wednesday evening, you curled up in your armchair and called Whiskey. He picked up after three rings.

“Moonshine, “ he drawled, voice sounding a little tired.

“Sorry, did I wake you?” you asked, suddenly feeling a little bad. It wasn't that late in the evening but maybe Whiskey had needed to tuck in early.

“No no, I was awake,” Whiskey assured you, “Just got home from a looong day at an art auction. I'm not sure if you've ever been but it is possibly the most boring thing I have ever done.”

“Yeah? What was so bad about it?” you asked, smiling to yourself. You would be caught dead before admitting it out loud but you had actually missed him these past few days.

Whiskey began describing his day. A soon as he began talking, his voice relaxed you. You pictured him walking around in a swanky hotel room, with a view of the big city, probably still wearing his hat. You were half convinced he even slept in that thing.

Whiskey told you about the auction and the few stuck-up people who had pretended not to understand his southern accent just to make him feel less than. Then he told you about the way he'd later wiped the smug smiles off their faces by actually bidding home the small painting they had been ogling.

“Champ might kill me for it, 'cause it cost a small fortune, but it was worth it!”

“What will you do with the painting?” you asked.

“Hm,” Whiskey said and you didn't need to see him to know that he was shrugging, “Dunno. Might hang it in my apartment. It's a beautiful painting, reminded me of someone special... Speaking of my apartment, have you finished the cake yet?”

You nodded, before remembering that he couldn't see you.

“Yes, Ginger and Tonic helped me eat the rest of it.”

You had been over to Whiskey's apartment the day after he'd left. When you'd gotten to work, his key had been in a white envelope on your desk and you hadn't been able to keep your curiosity at bay for longer than a workday.

The apartment hadn't been quite what you thought Whiskey's home would look like. It had been much neater and cleaner than you had expected, for starters. You had expected more of a bachelor pad but Whiskey's apartment was quite nice. It looked lived in but not messy. Each thing seemed to have its own designated spot. As you had walked around the living room towards the kitchen you had taken in the big, comfortable-looking couch and multi-colored knitted blanket that looked like it was homemade.

There had been a couple of books on art history resting on the wooden coffee table. You had stopped, slightly in awe, in front of the big bookshelves that covered a whole wall of the room. You'd never pictured Whiskey to be the reading type, but here was clear proof otherwise. You had scanned the titles of the books and the exceptionally wide array of subjects made you suspect that a lot of these had been read for previous missions. But there had been a whole shelf of fiction too and you smiled a little as you noted that a lot of them seemed to be old western classics.

You had found the cake in the fridge in the equally clean kitchen. The cake had been in a plastic container and Whiskey had stuck a post-it note with a smiley on the lid.

“I liked your bookshelf. And I borrowed a book from you,“ you confessed over the phone and Whiskey chuckled in response.

“Is that so? Which one, if I may ask, was it that caught your fancy?”

“Lonesome Dove.”

“Ah, a classic! Didn't have you pegged as a western girl, Moonshine.”

“I'm not sure if I am, I've never read any. But you had a lot of them and I thought...” You cut yourself off, glancing over at the book on your bed, “You had a book on human anatomy as well that looked interesting and one on make-shift medical treatment when you don't have access to a hospital. I didn't take those, though. It felt wrong to take so many books without asking...”

Whiskey chuckled again and the sound did weird things to your insides, or maybe it was the nerves of having just admitted to raiding his bookshelf.

“Darlin', if it makes you happy, you are more than welcome to help yourself to any book in that apartment”

“Really? But what if it's a book that you suddenly need?”

“Then I'll know perfectly well where to find it.”

You couldn't really argue with that logic, didn't really want to either because the prospect of getting to read all those books almost made you giddy.

“So besides ogling my books, what else have you been up to while I've been gone?” Whiskey asked and you proceeded to tell him about the work with the Trauma Folders, which Tonic so affectionately called them.

“You still haven't submitted yours either, by the way,” you told him. Whiskey didn't immediately answer. The line was dead silent for a few seconds and just when you were about to ask if he was still there, he cleared his throat.

“Yeah, I know. I promise to get right on that as soon as I'm back, okay?” He sounded a little odd and your brow furrowed slightly. Whiskey cleared his throat again.

“Look, darlin', I'm pretty dead on my feet right now and as lovely as your voice is to listen to, I think unfortunately we gotta hang up before I start snoring on you.”

“Oh, of course! Sorry, I've talked too much.”

“Hardly,” Whiskey replied and his voice was warm and soft again, which eased the nervous knots that had begun forming in your stomach at his abrupt attempt to end the call. Usually, that was your role to try and say goodnight and his to try and linger. “I cherish every word, which is why I prefer to be awake for them. Call me tomorrow again?”

“Sure. Good night, Whiskey.”

“Good night, darlin'”

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 If the previous days had been slow, the following day was anything but, at least when the afternoon rolled around.

Ginger had called you about some very strange low-frequency readings coming from a church nearby in Kentucky. She told you that she and Tequila were gonna go check it out but that you should be on standby, just in case.

You told her to be careful. Ginger was excellent at her job but she was also one of your closest friends and you couldn't help but worry.

After you'd ended the call, you immediately set about preparing the emergency room and double-checking to make sure everything was there. Seeing as neither of you knew what the strange readings had been about, it was difficult to prepare for every possible scenario, and while you knew that the health effects of exposure to extremely low frequencies were being discussed in the medical community, no one knew exactly what the effects were.

It seemed like a lifetime had passed before Ginder called you again. You heard the sound of the helicopter in the background. She told you that they'd be there in thirty and that they were bringing someone in with a headshot.

“I'll get the chamber ready for him!” you told her

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 Thirty minutes later, on the dot, you watched as the helicopter landed and Tequila emerged, carrying a man in a suit. The man's face was obscured by the balloon containing the Alpha-gel but his clothes looked expensive.

“Entry point?” you yelled, over the sound of the helicopter as you waved for Tequila and Ginger to hurry inside.

“Straight through the left eye,” Ginger replied and you winced. The left temporal lobe would be damaged, for sure, maybe part of the occipital one too. You were confident that the nanites would be able to rebuild the brain matter but with the temporal lobe damaged you worried that the memory loss might be even more extensive than what you'd seen before and you wondered if it would affect his speech.

“Exit point or is the bullet still in there?” you asked.

“The bullet went all the way through as far as I could tell. Not sure what he was shot with though so we'll have to scan to make sure there's nothing left in there.”

Said and done. When you got down to the medical rooms you first put the man through a thorough scan of his skull. Just like Ginger suspected, the bullet had gone straight through and it luckily hadn't left anything but damaged tissue in its wake. Tequila helped move him over to the nanite chamber. Carefully, you removed the Alpha-gel balloon and quickly closed the chamber around his head.

“What happened?” you asked as you sat down in front of the computer and began tapping away at the keyboard, starting the machine and readying it for the healing and rebuilding process.

“We have no idea,” Ginger said. “We found him like this outside the church, no sign of who had shot him. Inside the church, however...”

“What?” you asked.

“Inside was a total fuckin' bloodbath,” Tequila supplied, “Whole congregation just...slaughtered.”

You looked over at the strange man.

“You think he did it?”

Both Ginger and Tequila shrugged.

“We don't know. But he's got blood on him that isn't his own and there was no gun in his hand so he clearly didn't shoot himself, which means someone got away from that Church alive.” Ginger reasoned, “And there's one more thing..”

She pulled a pair of glasses from the pocket of her jacket. The left glass was shattered.

“He was wearing these. These aren't normal glasses, which means he's not a civilian. And his watch... he's some sort of intelligence. I'll dig around and see if I can find out whom he belongs to.”

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 You called Whiskey again that evening. He sounded more awake today but you could practically hear the frown on his face when you told him about your strange new guest. He was not happy.

“He's an agent?” he asked.

“We think so. Ginger is running some tests on his glasses and his watch to see what we can figure out but so far we have no idea whom he's working for. So we just have to wait for him to wake up and see how much he remembers.”

“I don't like this,” Whiskey stated. “Not one bit. If he's intelligence, he's dangerous, Moonshine. You shouldn't be alone with him, not under any circumstances!”

“I won't,” you reassured him while rolling your eyes. “Agent Tequila also has an over-protective streak and has, therefore, put himself on guard duty until further notice. I've had him looking over my shoulder all evening.”

You had found it somewhat annoying but Whiskey had instantly calmed down upon hearing that bit of information. He told you to promise to listen to Tequila on this, which you reluctantly did. You didn't tell Whiskey that if the arrangement continued, you would have to come to some sort of agreement with Tequila on how close was close enough for protection. You couldn't have him reading over your shoulder all day long or you'd go stir crazy.

Whiskey continued to ask you a bunch of questions about the strange man and you couldn't answer a single one. He asked you about the signal too and you couldn't give him any answers to that either. It was all Ginger's area of expertise and you told him as much.

“Sorry, darlin', just wanna make sure my favorite girl is safe until I get back.”

Whiskey's words made you smile stupidly, despite the slightly patronizing undertone of them. You would like to think you knew how to take care of yourself, especially around your patients. But you did enjoy it when Whiskey called you his favorite. No one else had called you their favorite before.

After a few more minutes of chit-chat, you both said good night.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 The next day, your patient woke up.

It had been decided the day before that Tonic and Tequila would be the first ones to greet him. Tequila because of the whole bodyguard business and Tonic because he was by far the one who had the most experience with calming people in shock and panic. You had only sulked a little when you'd sat down the desk on the other side of the one-way mirror showing you the stranger's cell. You turned on the cameras in the other room to record the interaction before leaning forward over the desk to watch.

As anticipated, the man was more than a little freaked out by waking up in an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar faces around him.

“Where am I? Who are you?” he immediately asked and you raised your eyebrows as you noted his British accent. The stranger tried to scramble off the bed where he'd been lying. Tequila took a step forward but Tonic quickly held up a hand to stop him.

“You are in a hospital,” Tonic told the frightened man and gave him a calm smile, “My name is To...Tom.”

“A hospital? What happened?” the stranger asked.

“We were hoping you would be able to tell us. You were in some sort of accident and when we found you, you were unconscious.”

Unconscious... that was definitely an understatement to describing having had one's brains blown out through the back of their head.

“Do you remember anything of what happened?” Tonic continued.

The British man looked around the room with wild eyes but he was already calming down a bit. While you were a bit jealous that Tonic, or Tom apparently, was the first one to get to talk to your new patient you had to admit that it was a privilege to get to watch him work. Tonic continued talking to the man and answering his questions by saying just enough to calm him but not enough to confuse him.

You found out that his name was Harry, but he couldn't remember his last name. He was from England and he thought he was 23 years old, which he most definitely was not. You caught Tonic and Tequila exchange a look as Harry told them his age. If Harry couldn't remember anything beyond his 23rd year then you estimated that he had forgotten more than half of his life. And since he wasn't one of your agents, you had no idea how to bring those memories back again...

Tonic and Harry spoke for a while longer and Tonic told him about his injuries. He also told harry about the memory loss. Harry didn't believe him until Tonic guided him over to the one-way mirror separating you from them and let Harry have a look at himself. You stood on the other side of the mirror and could watch as realization dawned on Harry. His breathing immediately sped up again and he was beginning to panic.

“Harry,” Tonic said calmly, “Harry, I'm gonna need you to breathe slower with me, okay? We've seen this kind of memory loss before and we will do our very best to help you recover the memories you can't remember right now”

“Think of it as one hell of a hangover,” Tequila supplied and Harry gave him an incredulous look.

“Hangover?” he asked in a weak voice “I look old enough to be a grandfather and I don't remember any of it... I don't think anyone has ever been drunk enough for that kind of hangover.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 Tonic and Tequila handled the whole ordeal in a way that made you proud to call yourself their colleague and they stayed with Harry for most of the day, talking and explaining. Harry listened patiently and you had to give him credit for taking the situation a whole lot better than some of the Statesmen who had gone through the same thing. He was scared and worried, sure, but he managed to keep his panic in check and asked Tonic a whole bunch of relevant questions.

You wished you could have stayed and watched all afternoon but eventually you had to go back to your own office and begin typing up your report.

You had barely gotten two paragraphs in when your phone started ringing.

“Moonshine?” Whiskey said as soon as you picked up and you could immediately tell that something was wrong. He sounded scared. There were car horns blaring and loud crashes in the background.

“Yes. Whiskey what's...”

Whiskey cut you off before you could finish your question.

“Where are you?” he asked and when it took you a fraction of a second too long to answer, he repeated the question, “Moonshine! Where are you?”

“I'm in the office. Whiskey what's wrong?”

“Good! Whatever you do, stay where you are! There's something in the air! People are killing each other!”

“What?” Before you could say anything further, your door burst open and you screamed from surprise.

“Moonshine!” Whiskey yelled, panicked, as Ginger stormed into the office and pushed you out of her way to get to the computer. She began tapping on the keyboard and you watched as she pulled up live feeds from several cameras around the country. Your mouth fell open as you watched the chaos that filled the screen.

“MOONSHINE!” Whiskey yelled again and you realized you hadn't answered him.

“I'm fine!” you quickly assured him and you heard him exhale loudly. “Ginger just showed up. What the hell is going on?” The last question was aimed at them both. The quality of the feeds wasn't the best but there was no mistaking what was going on. All over the country, people were killing each other.

“The fuck if I know,” Whiskey said at the same time as Ginger supplied the slightly more helpful “It's the same signal! It's the same low frequency as we picked up from the church. But this is all over...well the world”

She turned and looked at the phone in your hand.

“Is that agent Whiskey?”

You nodded but then froze as you heard a banging noise on the other end of the line, which sounded much closer than the previous ones. You heard Whiskey curse.

“Whiskey?”

There was another crash and he cursed again.

“I'm sorry, darlin', I seem to have a visitor. I gotta go.”

“Whiskey,” you begged and you heard your own voice break as you spoke his name.

“Don't worry, sweetheart. I'll deal with this and then I promise I'll come right home to you. You just promise to stay inside and stay safe, okay?”

What about you? you wanted to ask, but Whiskey had already hung up.

“He'll be fine,” said Ginger, who must have seen the expression change on your face. You nodded. She was right. Whiskey was an excellent agent. He would be fine.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 He would be fine. You managed to convince yourself of that up until about an hour later when the office phone called. You were too busy clutching your own phone, waiting for Whiskey to call back, to pay any attention to the other phone so Ginger picked it up and answered. She exchanged a few cryptic comments with the person on the other line before ending the call by saying:

“We'll be ready for him.”

After she'd hung up the phone she turned towards you.

“Whiskey's on his way back. He's been stabbed but according to the pilot, he's stable. They're flying him back now. “

[meggie-stardust]

Tagged by the always lovely @myletternevercame. Thanks babe < 3

how many works do you have on AO3? 57

what’s your total ao3 word count? 18,2645 (dang!)

what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Acts of Man | Merlin | Merlin/Arthur

Nightmares | PJO | Jason/Percy

Looking for the Things We Lost | Teen Wolf | Peter/Stiles

Here I Am (Stuck in the Middle With You) | PJO | Jason/Percy

The Legend is True | Teen Wolf | Peter/Stiles

do you respond to comments, why or why not? I try to as often as I can. When I first post something and I get an influx of comments, I try to do it once a day. But when I get random comments on old stuff, I often forget to go back and reply, but I read every single one, and I do try to remember to write back.

what’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? Oh man. Most of my fics happy endings... But the happiest?? Probably Acts of Man, since it's a Christmas fic and it has this kind of storybook coda on the end of it.

what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? Hmm. My older fics tended to be a little more angsty and open ended... probably this old Sterek fic Those Who Hunt Us or this Isaac Lahey study Bygone

do you write crossovers? Not much anymore, but I did a cool 3 sentence fic challenge back in 2014 and each prompt (from tumblr folks at the time) were things like MJN air + Supernatural or Sherlock and John work at Mooby's. I also have a soft spot for this Sherlock/Cowboy Bebop xover cleverly called 221Bebop: Honky Tonk Woman. And of course, there is the abandoned HP/Sherlock crossover bestie and I started and will never finish, so IDK why I even bring it up. Actually come to think of it, I also had the Sherlock Monstrumologist one... I just wrote a lot of Sherlock xover fic back in the day, huh.

have you ever received hate on a fic? Not on AO3 comments. I haven't gotten some odd reviews/comments, but I have been very fortunate to have not experienced much of this in my 20+ years in fandom.

do you write smut? if so, what kind? Yes. All of the kinds?? I remember thinking it was such a big deal to write a "lemon" back int the day, and now it's old hat. Of course, I can't really write PWPs (I think I have one maybe??), I always have to write a giant backstory just to get to the good stuff (see my 18k GW beast of a fic for a lemon/smut fest. smhd)

have you ever had a fic stolen? not that I'm aware of...

have you ever had a fic translated? Yes! And it's such an insanely wonderful honor. I've also had fics written that are inspired by mine and I just... blanket permission to anyone who wants to remix, translate, art, whatever my work. It's so flattering.

Most recently, I had Black Sails in the Sunset translated into Portuguese.

have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes, but it was abandoned. I would love to do something like that again. Or something slightly different, like a comic *cough*@bettertasting*cough*

what’s your all-time favourite ship? How does one even answer that? Heero/Duo was the ship that got me into fandom; Harry/Draco is something I will still occasionally return to when I want like nostalgic comfort; Merlin/Arthur has some of the best fanworks I've ever consumed and they feel more like canon works than fanon; I've been reading and writing Stiles/Peter for like 5 years now... So, this is my non-answer. IDK man. I have a whole fleet and I'm ok with that.

what’s a wip that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? I had this idea for a Stranger Things OT3 fic at the end of Season 1, and then I wrote the first chapter and never posted it or wrote more before Season 2 dropped, and meh. I'll never go back to it. I loved the idea, but the characters have changed so much, I don't think I could capture what I wanted anymore. Maybe I'll post my WIPs I'll never finish someday and clean out my WIP folder.

what are your writing strengths? I think I'm funny and can inject that well into characters? And I like to think that I am good at writing in the character voice.

what are your writing weaknesses? If I need a "real" plot. Like, I cannot write case fics or mission fics or anything like that. I spent ages reworking my last fic so I could "Kevin Smith" the action by only have characters talk about some stuff that happened to them, and never see any of it on screen.

what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? I think I would take the easy way out and do it like: "blah blah blah" she said in French; or "she let out a rant in French" but never actually worry about translating anything.

what was the first fandom you wrote for? Gundam Wing! And back at it 20 years later!

what’s your favourite fic you’ve written? Hmmm. I really do like the last fic I wrote, my reentry to GW:

Our Love Keeps the Things it Finds | Gundam Wing | Heero/Duo/Trowa

And on the other end of the spectrum, and short 500 word fic that I really, really love:

A Slow Deep Panic | PJO | pre-Jason/Percy-ish

ok tagging: @punchedbymarkesmith @gatesofdisorder @lolahardy @pineappleglazedham @gentleranium @theheadgirl and you! Yes, you! Do you write fic? Are we mutuals? Do you want me to tag you in things? Let me know by doing this and tagging me!

[tenspontaneite]

Edit Log: PIAJ organisation and resources

Have just finished with around five and a half hours of edits and resource prep for PIAJ, so here’s the log of everything that’s been done and added.

---

1. Compiled a public-access timeline

I took my own timelines that I work from and made a version which y’all can look at. It includes placeholders for every story section currently planned, and the sections are arranged in their currently-planned partitions. This timeline file will be updated as the story goes along and more days are ‘completed’ via published chapters.

This timeline can be found here, or linked from the PIAJ masterpage, or at the end of any PIAJ chapter on Ao3. Please everyone have a look at it and join me in being kind of fucked up about how much story there is left to go.

2. Created standardised chapter endnote format; implemented it

This was the longest thing by far. Probs took me about three hours. I made a standardised layout for my chapter endnotes (on ao3 only, mind), transplanted everything that didn’t fit into its own new tidy Google Doc in its own tidy folder, and sorted all the notes out.

The current format for PIAJ endnotes is:

Chapter notes: (link to the folder of current story section), description of topics covered in note file

Timeline: (link to timeline file)

PIAJ Masterpage: (link to piaj masterpage on tumblr)

Author notes: (Original author’s notes from when the chapter was first posted)

Changelog: (log of any edits and changes to current version)

You can see the new endnote layout in any ao3 piaj chapter.

3. Made every chapter note doc tidy and nice, added parts where relevant

I added a relatively large worldbuilding note on the various types of medical profession in the Pentarchy to the ch8 notes, since there was space for that in the new method. Shortened from my own personal encylopedia page on the matter. If you’re interested, go read it.

Notes for section 1 (Approaching the Belt)

Notes for section 2 (The Thundersnow)

These note folders are accessible from the endnotes of any ao3 chapter in the relevant section, or from the PIAJ masterpage on tumblr.

4. Edited the PIAJ Masterpage

Made sure it was up to date. Changed the tumblr chapter links section to just a link to the ‘piaj chapters’ tag on this blog, because eventually it would have become hella unwieldy, and I gotta plan for 21 sections of many chapters each here.

PIAJ masterpage is accessible from my blog banner, or this link if you’re on mobile. The link still may refuse to work right on mobile. It works fine on desktop, trust me.

5. Implemented edits to nearly all PIAJ chapters

Earlier this year I did some minor style and grammar edits. Like, January or February maybe. Never posted those versions.

Two days ago I went through my chapter files with ctrl+F to make some specific targeted edits. I was targeting the word ‘moon’; specifically, the circumstances under which it is or is not capitalised. I had decided quite a long time ago how I was going to handle that, but hadn’t got around to doing the edits yet.

Because we are now upon a part of story where this case sensitivity counts as foreshadowing for one particular plot device, I thought it was important I get those edits posted ahead of the next chapter update. I call these the ‘Moon moon’ edits. In the changelogs, they’re referred to as ‘plot relevant case sensitivity edits’.

What I haven’t done:

I have not edited any chapters for style or content since January. New canon information introduced in the S1 novel, art book, Through the Moon, and various posts by the Wonderstorm cast has not been implemented. This is because I am not up to date with the new canon information. Please don’t spoil me, I’ll get around to it in time.

As you can imagine, editing some odd 280k of published fiction will take a long time even after I’m caught up with the media, so this will take a while to be done.

Right. I think that’s everything. Everyone please check these things out if you feel so inclined, and let me know if I’ve fucked anything up.

[prettyoddfever]

Part 3: the Pretty. Odd. tracklist reveal

(the main post)

So the site’s source code was updated yet again to say “Oh, hello. Do you have time for one last challenge.” THIS WAS ACTUALLY THE GREATEST PUZZLE EVER. 

But so many people were initially like

The jigsaw puzzle for the cover art had lost my attention because the pieces showed up at different times (so even if you managed to check the right page, you might have been there too early to find anything). But this final challenge was a logical puzzle that was already laid out... you just had to work your way through it on your own.

THE FINAL CHALLENGE

Adam posted a myspace bulletin on January 26th that linked to his last.fm where the tracks he had recently listened to spelled out a message:

I’m so glad I didn't have a life because this challenge was a race that was over before some people even knew it existed (like the people who actually had plans or were asleep on the other side of the world).

The band’s site looked like nothing interesting was happening... it mostly just showed the second album’s cover art next to some info about a contest to be on the set of the next music video. BUT if you knew to keep checking the source code by now, you could find a “final challenge” link that took you to this image that had the file name “canyoukeepasecret:”

There’s a backwards link on the bottom of that image that showed up if you highlighted the page: panicatthedisco.com/oneoffifteen. That link led to a directory with some folders that contained mostly notes. I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW WHAT A DIRECTORY WAS AT THE START OF THIS DAY so I wasted precious time figuring out basic stuff... but pretty soon it was intuitive.

That directory listed some important dates (January 28, February 10, and March 25), random lyrics that we recognized from When the Day Met the Night, infuriating small talk from Adam, the link “http://www.panicatthedisco.com/000002,” and what looked like his grocery list: “milk, bread, ice cream, pickes, ketchup, lettuce, hand soap, pretty. odd.” There was also this image:

That was called “youmightwanttoholdontothis.jpg” so now things made more sense... we had to find the images for the song names. There’s an “8″ in the top left corner of that image and we already knew that When the Day Met the Night was definitely the title of a song on the second album.

side note: some people jumped right to a directory for panicatthedisco.com/prettyodd since that was easy to guess. But that meant that they found things out of order and were missing a couple song titles at the end. I think this whole challenge turned into mass chaos partially because everyone was going at their own pace and sharing random links to whatever they had found... so then a lot of people were just jumping from one directory to another without knowing what they were missing or where those clues even came from. Adam told us that there were no dead ends, so I wanted to follow this through in some kind of logical order.

If you found your first song title under the “oneoffifteen” link, then the only thing you had to work with next was "panicatthedisco.com/000002.” That turned out to be a blank white page, but the source code said “Not a lot going on here. Maybe if you dig a little deeper.” It took me a bit to catch onto the fact that we’d have to use the whole directory approach for most of this challenge (but at least I wasn’t as bad as the kids who were trying to translate lorem ipsum).

So the “000002″ directory had notes about “things have changed for me” & “and that’s okay,” records of some chats with Adam, and a green picture of a guy named Aaron:

There was also this image for the fifth song’s title: 

That image was called “songtitleshavechanged” so we knew this was the new name for Things Have Changed. Here are the two chats with Adam:

[18:29] fueledbyadam: wait...another video after what? [18:30] CamsAbcs: nine in the afternoon? [18:30] fueledbyadam: they shot one for nine in the afternoon [18:30] fueledbyadam: they're shooting another one next month [18:30] fueledbyadam: for things have change [18:30] fueledbyadam: d [18:31] CamsAbcs: when?! [18:31] fueledbyadam: february [18:31] CamsAbcs: is it going to be released as a single? [18:32] fueledbyadam: i don't know [18:32] fueledbyadam: maybe [18:32] fueledbyadam: maybe not [18:32] CamsAbcs: aww why [18:32] fueledbyadam: why what? [18:32] fueledbyadam: it might be released as a single because it's an awesome song [18:32] fueledbyadam: it might not because another song might be chosen

[09:15] buseast: hey adam [09:17] fueledbyadam: yo david...how have you been? [09:17] buseast: a little lonely [09:17] buseast: none of my friends are ever online any more [09:17] buseast: so i never have anyone to talk to [09:18] buseast: seen anything cool online lately? [09:20] fueledbyadam: yeah...check out http://www.dailymotion.com/search/sushi/video/x462w1_lart-du-sushi_creation

That link he mentioned took you to a video about sushi and then in the comments there was a link that took you to panicatthedisco.com/tuxedo. (So if you’re following the ideas here, it’s sushi + tuxedo so far). That link gave you two images:

The penguin was called “tux.gif.” The “clamscasino” directory gave you 3 images that seemed even more random:

And then there were these lyrics if you pieced a bunch of text notes together in order:

“Toast the fine folks casting silver crumbs to us from the dock. Jinxed things ringing as they leak through tiny cracks in the boardwalk. Scarecrow now it’s time to hatch sprouting suns and ageless daughters. Don’t you know that those watermelon smiles just can’t ripen underwater?"

That directory also had the title for the 11th song on the album:

(side note: THIS WAS ONE OF MY FAVORITE SONG NAMES. It reminded me of the lobster quadrille in Alice in Wonderland). 

The directory also had a note with “panicatthedisco.com/isloveenough.” That link gave you this image:

And then it looked like a dead end. I tried to treat it as a directory but I only found these extra images:

So I went back to the main url that had the Folkin’ Around image and found this in the source code: “/numerocinco.” That name was reassuring because this was the 5th song title I was looking for, so at least I wasn’t totally out of order.

The “numerocinco” directory gave you this picture of a snake:

There was also a “listen with your eyes” mp3 that I’d already seen people talking about, so I knew what this part would reveal. 

side note: Adam tried to stop people from sharing clues. However, there were still thousands of comments on the boards & lj where people were agonizing over whatever step they were on. Most of that talk didn’t make too much sense on its own, but there were definitely short comments and/or links that were really helpful once I got to certain parts. I don’t think I would’ve been able to figure this out entirely on my own.

If you downloaded & played the mp3 in itunes you could see this art:

The actual audio file was a mess of noises like drums & coughing, so that didn’t matter... but viewing the lyrics gave you:

And the info gave you a link:

That link turned out to be a page called “SECURITY” where you needed to enter a code:

I remembered seeing a couple people mention that 128 was a “password” that had worked for them on some page... it made sense here because January 28th was the release date for the NITA single. Before I moved on, I tried to use the “/NiTa” page as a directory and found this:

(we hadn’t seen the music video yet, so I didn’t know what the picture was). Then I went through the previous “SECURITY” page using 1-2-8:

and arrived at a directory called “asbigasthemoon.” These two things were in the “images” folder:

The documents folder also had some text links that led to 4 pictures on myspace. This was the third:

The other pictures didn’t seem like they were relevant. It was just like a “Charles In Charge” guy who looked like he did something with marketing for FBR. There were also 2 pictures of Papi Fernandez (who mostly did stuff with Cobra Starship. I wish I could still link here to explain him ha). 

But there was a link in the “about me” section on that myspace page that was helpful:

The link led to these lyrics:

I wont cut my beard and I wont change my hair. It grows like fancy flowers but it grows nowhere. If I could build my house just like the Trojan horse, I’d put a statue of myself upon the shelf of course. She’s the smoke, she’s dancing fancy pirouettes. Swan diving off of the deep end of my tragic cigarette. She’s steam, laughing on the windowpanes. The never-ending swaying haze, oh that ever smiling maze ballet. Everything’s gone missing. I’ve lost more songs to floods. I can’t prove this makes any sense but I sure hope that it does. Perhaps, I was born with the curiosity of old crows. The piano knows something I don’t know.

Then I removed everything from the end of that link and went to the actual “/prettyodd” directory that the lyrics were part of.

Remember how I mentioned that some people had guessed at the start that there would be a “prettyodd” directory and had already gone through that? This is where it fits into the order of the clues. There was a lot in this directory and most of it wasn’t particularly useful, so I think that’s why a lot of people who started there got confused and gave up.

The “images” folder held these:

Then the first subdirectory within “prettyodd” was called “734382.” It contained another subdirectory, some empty folders, and these two random pictures:

A subdirectory in “734382″ was called “tragiccigarette.” That seemed promising because I had totally seen people talking about that link. Some folders there had 3 text notes that gave a link to this cryptology site, said “This should be fun,” and then dumped this on us:

3.12.1 1.9.3 3.1.9 1.1.1 2.17.6 2.5.2 3.8.1 1.27.4 2.1.2 2.23.3 2.5.1 3.10.1 2.24.11 1.3.1 1.31.2 1.23.5 3.2.2 2.25.1 1.9.1 3.6.2 2.3.2 2.1.1 3.5.1 3.15.1 2.4.4 2.1.2 1.2.1 3.21.2 1.5.3 3.1.6 3.23.1 3.23.2 3.23.3 3.23.4 1.2.4 2.12.3 2.1.3 2.7.1 2.7.2 1.35.3 3.2.3 2.15.1 3.14.3 1.2.3 2.3.3 3.40.4

(those 3 text notes were numbered 5, 1, and 3 btw but I don’t think that turned out to be important).

I already knew that eventually there would be a cypher that would lead you to “panicatthedisco.com/whatdoesthepianoknow” once you decoded it because Adam had yelled at someone for posting the answer lol. It’s not like I was remotely near the front of the race or stood a chance at winning, so I was totally fine taking this shortcut. I’m so glad I didn’t have to work that out.

(continued in the next post)

[lodessa]

It’s been a while since I did this

Tagged by@carlynroth

List all the things you’re currently working on in as much or as little detail as you like then tag some friends to see what they’re working on: writing, art, gif sets, whatever.

Okay so I set some rules for myself in making this list in an attempt to maybe clear it out a bit to what I’m more likely to write any time soon: I did not allow myself to look at any of my previous lists OR my WIP documents/folders until after I’d made the list (only to add details/links after I’d finalized it).

Star Trek: Voyager - Janeway/Chakotay

Stumbling: Post Endgame Janeway and Chakotay struggle to get back what they once had (trust) even though they both want it.  Basically I really wanted to explore how messy emotions are and a realistic struggle to recover from what happened. I think it’s going to be like 8 chapters, but for all I know it will end up being 14 like Parameters and Voyager High; because, that’s apparently my natural length for drawn out chaptered fics.  Three chapters are currently posted. Chapter four is partly written.  Excerpt: 

“Here’s the thing: She still wants him.  It’s ironic, after all the years he was diligently waiting and she was able to stuff it down and put it aside some ninety something percent of the time Now, now she is so angry with him, so distrustful, but it’s like that pain has wrecked her self control. She can’t come back from the blunt honestly of her despair. When she’d been so secure in him it has been easy to set aside her desire.

Now. Now she feels raw, not just with the sting of his betrayal but also with her own longing.

Now he meets her for long afternoon walks between her meetings and his office hours and she can’t take comfort in his arm linked with her but she can’t ignore it either. His warmth beside her is a provocation, unsettling her.

He brings her a series of peace roses and part of her wants to feel comforted by the gesture but there’s something inside her that balks at any memory of how it used to be.” 

Just Once: Five times Janeway and Chakotay were only going to kiss once (and the time they finally gave that pretense up).  This is really a more drawn out version of “Why Janeway and Chakotay Can't Share the Couch: 5 Times They Slipped Up”   but it’s not like there can ever be enough of that type of fic. Currently I have posted 1 of 6 total chapters, but I do have all of it outlined.

The Greek Mythology AU Epic.  I only have a couple actual paragraphs of this written, but I have a very clear idea of the plot and style.  Basically it’s a homeric style epic, wherein Janeway is the hero and involves a plotline with her going down to the underworld to get Chakotay back.  Very different from my usual style, obviously.  Excerpt:

“You have heard, of course, about the great ship Voyager, and it’s captain: the wise but willful woman king known as Janeway, favored by Athena. The tale of how her ship was blown off course by a powerful storm and ended up in distant waters far from home, how she subdued the outlaw ship she’d been chasing on the other side of the world, won over it’s captain: the noble Chakotay, how together they kept raiders from causing Atlas to drop the world, and thereafter Chakotay and his followers served under her and he became her most trusted subject and against all odds they returned to Greece in seven years and seven days is widely known. 

Less famous, however, is the tale of Janeway’s descent into the Underworld and how she came to prevail upon Hades to undo what his wrathful brother, Poseidon, had done in spite and wounded pride.   Many heroes have gone down to plead with the king of the dead for lost loves, but few are those to emerge again to the sunlight.”

That One Where Chakotay Gets Pegged.  So I have a number of fic ideas involving this (Including a follow up to Happy Accident) but the longest standing one and one I really mean to write in the near future is one where Janeway happens to mention one of the ways she has gotten the upper hand in diplomacy situations with men who want to fuck her  involving a strap on and well... Chakotay can’t get the idea out of his head. 

Daxverse:  After three years of intending to do this AU with Jadzia on Voyager and not actually writing it and @talsi74656 having been in the same situation for a couple, we are seriously exploring joining forces and merging our two different versions into one in hopes of getting it written.  Because, the idea is too good to sit forever unpublished.

Year of Hell PWP: Chakotay offers Kathryn a different kind of birthday present.  Excerpt:

Kathryn felt herself blush deeply at his probably innocently intended question.  She was wound so tightly right now she might explode on impact at the slightest jostling.

Chakotay flushed as well as he realized from her expression what she wasn’t saying.

“Oh…” he pressed his lips together, “I see. No wonder you are having trouble sleeping.”

“Chakotay!” she replied with a scandalized gasp.

“Let me help?” his voice and his expression both were beseeching, “You know you’ll sleep better and that will make you way more productive.  You wouldn’t accept my birthday gift… at least let me do something for you.”

Cracktastic Anthropomorphic Voyager/Janeway/Chakotay Situation: Sentient Voyager takes human form and interacts with its Captain(s) in a variety of ways. Set over the course of the series and post series when Chakotay takes command.  Most likely ends with a threesome.

Post Endgame Angst Where Janeway is Hallucinating: Janeway cracks once the immediacy of all those years of pressure lets up and loses touch with reality.  Feeling abandoned and lost, she hallucinates a Chakotay who is cruel and kind in turns, and by the time the real Chakotay shows up she doesn’t believe he’s actually there.

Timeless Timeline Chakotay/Endgame Timeline Admiral Janeway Fixit AU: Somehow the Admiral goes sideways instead of back and ends up in the averted Timeless timeline. Both of them are so damaged by loss and time in these timelines and I’d love to see them interact. Ultimately, they join forces and go back to save their past/alternative selves from becoming the selves they are then and there.  This started out as a coauthored fic that got abandoned midway through, but I still really love the idea.  Excerpt:

"Well that depends, what year is it and how long have I been dead for." She said it teasingly but the question still felt heavy, "How do you think I died?"

"Are you sure you want me to tell you? I'm not even sure I can." He shook his head, running his hand over his face, suddenly overwhelmed with the memory of seeing Kathryn dead on Voyager's bridge.

"It's important, I think." she sighed, running her fingers through his hair, "Unless you'd rather I tell you."

He wasn't sure what was worse, watching the pain that crossed Kathryn's face when she mentioned his death, or thinking about how hard it would be to relive her death. He couldn't bring himself to cause her more pain than he had to, even if that meant bearing the brunt of it himself.

"It was the slipstream drive..." he said quietly, trying not to go back to that day, "Harry and I went ahead in the Delta Flyer, but we'd miscalculated..."

He could barely get the words out, as the lump formed at the back of his throat. She reached for him, her hand cupping his face.

"All these years, and you still..." He could see her calculating how long it must have been.

"Always." He kissed her softly.

Her hands lingered on his face, thumb stroking his cheek.

"It's an alternate timeline," she said at last, "we never attempted that slipstream flight... Seven," he couldn't help but notice something off in Kathryn's voice as she said the former drone's name, "Seven got a message warning us."

RPF

KM/RB Fic No One Wants That Involves RealTalk(TM) Racism.  Because I feel like this needs to be addressed in terms of KM’s exoticism when it comes to him and also that she only publicly dates white dudes. She looks like a jerk in this one.

Another One No One Asked For: Why Both KM and Braga Got Pissed At RB Really. As JR is added to the cast, RB is upset that KM chose Hagan and decides to get back at her by exploiting somewhere he knows she’s already feeling vulnerable.  He looks like a jerk in this one.

KM Has Zero Sympathy for the Problems RB Created For Himself. Because KM sass is life and seriously CHOICES dude.

KM/RB As a Taurus/Scorpio Dynamic Case Study. Because they are.

Veronica Mars

Balacing Act: Two parts are written. Part 3 of the series is still in progress.  Continued  post movie threesome action with Logan, Weevil, and Veronica. Excerpt:

“I have acquired bagels… and coffee.”

It takes a moment for Eli to remember where he is or how he got there, gradually regaining enough consciousness to register Veronica’s way too chipper voice and remember that it must be Logan’s fucking arm he can feel slung across his hip. Reluctantly, he opens his eyes and there she is, looming over them with a take out tray of coffee cups in one hand and a paper bag in the other, looking cheerful and relaxed, like this is something that happens every day instead of being unprecedented, like she is used to him fucking Echolls up the ass until they both come.

“Enjoying the view from above from once, V?” he teases, refusing to act like this is weird if she isn’t going to.

“Wait… you went all the way to-“ Logan sits up, looking perfectly mussed as he notes the logo on the coffee cups.

This is weird. This is definitely weird, even for them.

That Season 3 AU I Started Around the Time The Movie Came Out: So season 3 was a mess as a whole, but it also always bugged me that Veronica’s “I was wrong not to trust” moment is about Logan (who didn’t deserve her trust and yeah actually his explanation in the end was shitty) and not about her dad (who deserved better than her judgement and criticism) and Weevil (seriously did she really think he’d rip Lilly’s necklace off her).  It’s a lot bigger than that, but basically this AU starts from there and has Weevil be the one to find her in the parking garage instead of Logan and goes from there. I need to finish it because it’s important, even if it’s a dead fandom. Excerpt:

“Would now be an appropriate time for me to list the reasons why you shouldn’t even be wasting your time with that spoiled gringo asshole?”

Weevil knew that was never going to be a productive addition to any conversation with her.  She had some mad feelings about Logan Echolls, every bit as much as Lilly had.  He didn’t think about Lilly so much these days, but sitting in Veronica’s car talking about whether Logan was a bad boyfriend was bringing the memories back.

She must have noticed the parallel too; because she said, “Is that what you told Lilly?”

They had never talked about Lilly.  Whenever possible she stuck to cases, favors, and harmless flirtatious banter that he knew didn’t mean anything at all. They avoided talking about Logan, but this - this was taboo.  And Weevil doesn’t know what to feel about that.

And what the hell is Veronica thinking, anyway?  Maybe it was the lingering effects of the drugs.  What the docs call trauma?  He hasn’t got a freaking clue .  All he knows is that Veronica Mars had bought up the girl whose ghost seemed to have more life than most of the people walking around Neptune. And he doesn’t like to say no to Veronica Mars.

“Sometimes I think it was what she wanted me to do.” He answered, deciding to pursue this line of potential honesty, “It was probably just a way to stroke her ego.   It’s not like I don’t get that, but she sure did like to paint a picture to me about how unhappy she was with him…”

“You and me both.” Veronica replied, gaze fixed away from him. “What were you supposed to tell her?  That she could do so much better?”

Sometimes these days he almost forgot that Veronica had been Lilly’s best friend, that she told her everything that really mattered.  Of course, that meant that he didn’t really matter.  He had always known that, even when he maybe wanted to believe otherwise, but there is maybe a small part of him that wanted to hold on to the idea that maybe he did.  

“Is that what you would tell me? If I said yes… If I asked you to tell me why I shouldn’t be with Logan?” Veronica turned around sharply to look him in the eyes.

“Pretty sure it would be a better option than giving you the spiel I gave her, the one that goes something like ‘I’d never let you feel alone’ and ‘Just let me show you how much better it can be.’ You know, that kind of crap.”

It was his turn to stare out the windshield, away from her.  Normally he would make a joke out of it, wink and suggest that maybe she wanted that all along, for him to profess his undying love, but not now.  They were both too raw.

“Tell you what.  If I ever do decide I want you to talk me out of dating Logan, I’ll let you know which version of the speech I’m looking for.”

“Deal.”  He agreed.  He knew they would never have that conversation, or at least not that version of it. That was what Lilly wanted to hear - she got  off  on hearing how much he wanted her. But Veronica wasn’t Lilly. She liked having leverage of a different kind.  Getting the better of someone.  Oneupsmanship . Veronica wasn’t interested in the straight power of someone finding her desirable, even if she used it to her advantage if she felt it was needed.

A Song of Ice and Fire (really not Game of Thrones)

Jaime/Brienne Adventure Romance:  Because this ship deserves a long plotty romance novel and I wasn’t ready to write that kind of thing in 2008 when I stopped writing them but I am now.  Definitely book and not show universe.  Jaime and Brienne go looking for Arya across Essos.  Excerpt:

“Indeed father.  He does know me.  Do you not recognize Ser Jaime Lannister, the Kingslayer?”

Brienne waited for Jaime to respond to the barb, but he did not. Her father looked surprised, doubtless he had expected Brienne’s visitor to be of less consequence. She could see him going over Jaime’s features and attire, as if putting the pieces together.

“It is an honor Ser. We so rarely get such important visitors here on our humble island.”

“Doubtless, Ser Jaime is here for his reward.”

“Reward?” Lord Selwyn looked, if possible, more perplexed.

“For saving my life, father.  Surely you will satisfy him.”

“He… he saved your life?”  

“Yes, when I was in the bear pit at Harrenhal. Really father, you’d think you didn’t listen to a word I said about my travels.”

Her father was indeed no longer listening to her.  Doubtless he was busy concocting some heroic version of her rescue that would culminate in his at long last marrying off his daughter.  Brienne was sure that’s what he thought the outcome of this visit would be, though he must have known Jaime was part of the Kingsguard.

At last Jaime spoke, “You mistake me, my lady.  I came seeking no reward.”

“Surely Ser, you came for something.”

“I came to see you, Brienne, for there are things I wish to discuss with you.  That is all.”

“You might have sent a letter.”

“Perhaps, but it I did not.  Will you walk with me?  While I am here I was hoping to witness the splendor of the Sapphire Isle.”

Jon/Sansa Fake!Married Trope:  Also definitely book!verse.  Following Danaerys’ reconquest, both remaining Starks attempt to leave Westeros without attention.  They run into each other. Excerpt:

She was undeniably lovely, with creamy skin and blue eyes he hadn't seen the like of since he left Winterfell.  She stared at Ghost in surprise, but not in fear.  Indeed she seemed transfixed by the direwolf as she reached her hands out to him and Ghost nuzzled his head against her.  Jon was amazed; he did not think she had noticed his own approach, she seemed so distracted.  

“It can't be.” She murmured to the direwolf, “But there is no mistaking you.  How did you get so far?”

Jon was unsure of how to alert her to his presence without startling her, yet it seemed rude just to stand here.

“They are all gone now, aren't they? Lady, and Nymeria, and Summer, and Greywind, and even Shaggydog.  Is he gone too Ghost, is that why you've found me?”

The woman sounded close to tears, and stranger yet she'd known. She had known not only Ghost but all the rest of the direwolf pups.  Realization dawned on Jon and he recognized Sansa, although his half sister had grown from a pretty child to a beautiful woman since he'd last seen her.  He wanted to say something, but the words caught in his mouth as he watched her fling her arms around the direwolf with a sob.

Crossovers

Restoration: Dresden Files/Revolution NBC, coauthored with @jaqofspades.  Miles Matheson doesn’t remember he’s a wizard, not that it matters with all the magic gone after the blackout.  Dark twisty multishipping with every kind of delicious wrong.  We need to get back on writing this eventually. 

Tagging: @talsi74656, @jaqofspades, @joyful-voyager, @sophia-helix, and @starfleet-vs-maquis if you guys want.

ETA: Oh I forgot one my favorite current projects!

That Massive 24th Century Trek Series Crossover AU: Which is a follow up to The Smallest Twine, in which certain details of the Cardassian Treaty get leaked before it is signed and the Federation is very nearly plunged into civil war.  It continues to explore the J/C relationship from the first story in the AU but also features a lot of our favorites from TNG and DS9 as well as more of the VOY characters.

[maryseward666]

The Heavy Metal Penis Chart

The Heavy Metal Penis Chart

I figured I would post this because this is it the first time some stud rocker lost his reputation as a sex God. This wasIt was originally floating around on Metal Sludge and then they will either took the sign down for us to take it down so here is one more time for posterity.

Folders closure, I do not find this myself on archive.org I will link the post to her I found out all of this information now how fun girls!

Stefan Adika / Dad’s Porno Mag A recent email said Stefan is hung like a baby and is a quick shooter. However, Stefan disagrees and says, “I might be Jewish, by I ain’t no Tiny Tim.” His wife is ex-porn star Shelby Stevens, so you know she’s had more dicks than a urinal at LAX. It could go either way, but if you read my Ho-Bag Volume 1, you’ll find out what Stefan is all about.

Art Alexakis / Everclear Art has an 8 inch cocks, he’s loud and practically rabid for eating pussy and rimming. He loves his balls sucked, is a great kisser, and enjoy his encounters in odd/semi-public places. Art has a huge sexual appetite and is very loud/likes to talk dirty. However he’s not fond of condoms and sometimes his cock isn’t fully hard, which might have something to do with him being a former drug addict. Either that or he’s just old. He tries to come off as such a sincere, sweet guy, but he’s a HUGE slut. He does treat you well when you’re with him–he even holds hands/cuddles and gives his real phone #. He also likes his women to be pretty intelligent and able to hold their end of a conversation about current issues, etc. Watch out for this one, though–he’s unclean!! Either he doesn’t wash the crotch area often or he has a serious problem…smells very dirty. Gross!!

Phil Anselmo / Pantera Well after a short glimpse of that MONSTER power tool in their debut home video it’s no wonder that Rob Halford is such a big Pantera fan! Reports are Phil is a bit over 10 inches!! There are also rumors that Phil can swing both ways, at least orally.

Vinnie Appice / Dio Your jaw won’t get sore sucking his cock, so he’s an average joe. But his ‘jap eye’ does blow out enough jizz for 10 guys!

Tom Araya / Slayer If you’re down with pentagrams and Satan, then not only is Tom for you, but he’s got a big cock to boot. Tom is about 7 inches, loves to fuck and is not selfish at all! Also has an uncircumcised dick.

Sebastian Bach Bach can deliver the good, as most skinny, tall guys can. He has been seen with a variety of groupies out on the road and reports are that he doesn’t shower much. He does have an above average cock and can be a lot of fun, but is ego is totally out of line and out of control. Is known to be a very big asshole, so be careful.

Reb Beach / Winger Will tell you he’s married, but still pursue you. If you play with his dirty onion ring he’ll worship you. Average all-around; shows respect, and doesn’t seem to be TOO much the player. Likes ’em young.

Jon Bon Jovi / Bon Jovi Back in the day Jon was a huge slut but he’s chilled out a little. Jon has an average size cock and like a lot of guys prefers to receive oral than give it. He has good rhythm though and will even wear 2 condoms if you ask him to.

Mick Brown / Dokken Absolute waste of time. Maybe 3 inches if you pull on it. Could be the drugs though.

Rob Bruce / Slik Toxik Rob has a pretty small cock, plus he only has ONE BALL! He lost his other ball in an accident. Sounds like he comes up short in both areas.

Jerry Cantrell / Ex-Alice In Chains Large (maybe 10 inches), impressive penis. Can handle two girls at once but he loses points for smoking too much crack. Sleeps around because he can, but fixates on the woman he wants to be with.

Edward Carlson / Flotsam & Jetsam He’s VERY good with his tongue. His dick is about 9 inches!! If you blow him, he’ll ask if you’ll swallow. If you don’t, he’s nice enough to respect that, but he’ll wanna cum on your tits. He’s also into a little ass-play. You wanna try a dildo out on him? Go ahead and ask. He’ll say yes!

Igor Cavalera / Seplutura He cares about whether you get off or not and he is, let’s say, VERY intense in bed. Also has a huge cock.

Carlos Cavazo / Quiet Riot Not only a very sloppy and boring lay, but he is very, very, very small. There is no riot going on in his pants.

Gary Cherone / Ex-Van Halen, Ex-ExtremeGary is so small if somebody saw you sucking his dick it would look like you were smoking a joint! Word has it that he is a lot like Freddie Mercury, on and OFF the stage.

Billy Childs / Britny Fox Here is one straight out of the sludge mailbag and out of the past. Our source said it looks like he has a nice size package, but unfortunately he suffered from Whisky D and popped too many pills! It was worse than a wet noodle! This is also called Jerry Dixon syndrome in some circles!

James Christian / House Of Lords James has a small, but thick cock, but unfortunately a very hairy back. It looks like he’s wearing a sweater! Unlike a Snickers bar, he isn’t very satisfying.

John Corabi / Ratt, Brides Of DestructionThe former lead singer of Motley Crue also has something in common with Tommy Lee, if you know what I mean. Sometimes those short guys will surprise you with a huge hog.

Jimmy D’Anda / Ex-BulletBoys He has a decent size cock, but not great. He likes to propose marriage while you’re giving him a blow job.

Zack De La Rocha / Ex-Rage Against The Machine Now he is excellent in bed, though he has really ugly, curly-haired crotch and balls, but his oral and finger skills make the hair ordeal worth it. Cock is about eight inches in length, about seven in girth. Loves doggy more than any other position, and seems to be obsessed with playing with a girl’s hair. Has a thing for olive skin and dark hair … overall, solid 9, and he takes care of you after the fact.

Glenn Danzig / DanzigThe bottom line is his cock is just like him, short.

Amir Derakh / Orgy Above average cock length but skinny. Some of said he is obsessed with anal, so don’t drop the soap in the shower. A good kisser but the personality of a corpse. Does shave his pubic hairs so that’s a plus.

C.C. DeVille / Poison I knew a girl that use to go to his house up in the Hollywood Hills & said he liked to Jack Off with lotion 3-5 times a day when he was a Speed user! Nothing fancy on the size either. Must be all the bleach. Doesn’t shut up either.

Dez / Coal Chamber 7 inch dick with a slight bend to the left. He will smoke some weed with you then sweet talk you to get you into bed. No oral from him and he likes girl on top, then after he cums, he gets rid of you.

John Dolmayan / System Of A Down MASSIVE cock. Great in bed, but selfish. Loves to receive oral (if you can get all of it in your mouth), but hesitant to reciprocate unless he knows you. Very dominant, but will NOT look at you while he is fucking you. Likes when you play with his balls. If you are a groupie and act like one, he will treat you with ZERO respect.

Taime Downe / Faster Pussycat Taime’s got a nice size cock. We heard he’s into that let me CHOKE you while I POKE you thing too. I heard he’s a breast man and likes big boobs, and is pretty good in the sack. Also rumored to bat from both sides of the plate. Hasn’t seen the sun since 1987.

David Draiman / Disturbed He is the ultimate ladies man & is with a different girl every night. He will sweep you off your feet with love & affection, but watch his other hand because it’ll be on some other chicks ass. He’s got a nice size cock, but can be a selfish fuck, so bring your vibrator. Also, you may walk funny the next day because he rams really hard. In addition, some say he’s pretty cheap and never pays for a thin, and one girl even says he plays for both teams.

Kevin DuBrow / Quiet Riot Kevin has a good body and an average dick. He’s very passionate and worth looking into providing you dig guys who wear a rug.

Fred Durst / Limp Bizkit Fred is an average joe, or should I say an average Fred. Nothing too big but nothing too small. He loves to eat pussy and loves to get oral in return. He’s a little on the kinky side and he really loves the freaky girls. Tries to use the press to get date and frequently comes off like a creepy stalker

They resuscitated version of this post is available here: http://www.gossiprocks.com/forum/latest-gossip/104730-penis-chart-metal-groupies-kiss-tell.html

  The post The Heavy Metal Penis Chart appeared first on Rock Out With Your Cock Out.

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11 Writing Exercises to Inspire You and Strengthen Your Writing

Whether you’re writing just for fun, for school, or with professional goals in mind, these exercises can all help you to improve your writing. Some will give you inspiration, others will help you avoid editing as you write, and many of them will help you pay closer attention to your word choices.

I hope you’ll enjoy giving them a go!

#1: Cover Your Screen While You Write

If you find yourself doing more editing than actual writing, then try covering up (or, on a laptop, turning down) your screen while you draft.

If, like me, you can touch-type – try closing your eyes instead. I find it surprisingly relaxing! (Though I tend to stop every sentence or two to make sure I’ve hit the keys I thought I was hitting…)

At first, it might seem odd not to be able to see the words that you’re typing – but you might well find that you write faster and express your thoughts more freely this way.

#2: Set a Daily Writing Goal and Track Your Progress

Writing, as most other crafts, only gets better with practice. If you want to improve, therefore, you will need to write pretty much every single day.

The best strategy to achieve this objective is to set a goal of how many words you want to write per day, and then to track your progress over time. A simple notebook or spreadsheet should be enough for you to record your daily statistics.

The Prolifiko blog has a great piece with more tips to set writing goals and resolutions and to make sure you achieve them.

#3: Use a Writing Prompt to Get You Going

If you want to write, but you don’t know what you want to write, try using a writing prompt. This could be anything from a story scenario (“write about someone who gets caught in a lie”) to a blog post title (“Ten Things I Wish I Could Tell My 15-Year-Old Self”).

Here are a couple of sources of prompts to keep you busy for a while:

25 creative writing prompts, a list of prompts you can use to start writing a simple story or even a novel.

365 Creative Writing Prompts, from Think Written – a mixed bag of prompts, with some for stories and some for poems; many would also work for blogging.

Even if you’re working on a longer piece, like a novel, prompts can be helpful. A line of dialogue, for instance, might give you just the inspiration you need for your next scene.

#4: Don’t Start at the Beginning … Start at the End

There’s no writing rule that says you need to begin at the beginning. In fact, many writers find it more effective to start at the end.

You can do this in a couple of different ways:

Start your story (or blog post, etc) close to the chronological end – e.g. you might begin with “As I stared down the mountain, I couldn’t believe I was actually here…” You can then jump back in time and narrate the events that led up to that point.

Write the end of your blog post (or story, etc) first. Once you’ve written your concluding paragraphs or final scenes, you’ll know what you’re leading up to. If you prefer not to write it out in full, you could make notes.

#5: Rewrite a Masterpiece or a Famous Story

Choose a famous masterpiece or classic novel (like Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice or Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet) and write your own version.

This is a great exercise because you can do it at almost any level: you could write a short story for children, or you could write a whole novel or screenplay. (Bridget Jones’s Diary, for instance, borrowed heavily from Pride and Prejudice; the children’s movie Gnomeo and Juliet is based, as you might guess, on Romeo and Juliet.)

You can do this with fairytales, too, like the story of Cinderella or Little Red Riding Hood. You might decide to bring the stories into the modern world – or you might switch to a completely different genre, like a Western version of Little Red Riding Hood or a sci-fi version of Cinderella.

Hopefully, you’ll think of some interesting ways to present an old story in a new way – great practice for avoiding clichés and stereotypes in your own writing.

#6: Create a Found Poem from Your Spam Folder

A “found poem” is one created from text that already exists – and some writers enjoy repurposing spam emails for this!

Check your spam folder. I’m sure that, like mine, it’s full of emails with some strange wording and dubious promises like:

I did not need to find a winning product. he gave it to me…

Just drinking 1 cup of this delicious hot beverage in the morning sets you up to burn more fat than 45 exhausting minutes on the treadmill.

Hello %E-mail_address%, I know your very love Engineer Jobs and want have T-Shirt for Engineer Jobs.

It is vital to have a telephone system that has all the specific functions

(All of these are taken verbatim from my own spam folder…)

Could you pick out a few lines (they don’t have to be consecutive ones) to create your own found poem? Feel free to add some words if needed. There are some wonderfully odd examples here.

#7: Write Something Inspired By a Piece of Writing, Music or Art

Inspiration can come in all sorts of ways – but if you’re struggling to find an idea, try turning to other people’s creative works. In my blogging, I’ve often been inspired by other people’s post structures, by an idea of theirs that I want to take further – or even by something they’ve written that I disagree with.

You can use music and art in a similar way: they can be particularly potent sources of ideas for stories. If you have a favourite song or artist, what in their work speaks to you? How could you craft a story using some of those themes or thoughts? Alternatively, look through some photos of artworks, and choose one or more to use as the basis for a story.

#8: Interview Your Novel’s Characters

This is a fun exercise that a lot of writers use to dig into who their characters are: the character interview. You can work through a pre-set list of questions, or you can come up with your own in advance, or you can just start typing and go with the flow!

You might do this essentially like a character questionnaire or checklist, or you might want to write it more like a mini-story, with you as the author inviting your character to sit down and talk.

Depending on the sort of fiction you write, the setting for your interview could be almost anything – perhaps you’re enjoying a casual chat over coffee and cake with your character, or maybe you’re interviewing them as a journalist, or even in court. Or, if you’re into rather darker fiction, you might be conducting an interrogation…

However you do this, it’s a great exercise to have fun with, and you might discover a whole backstory to your character that you’d never thought about before.

#9: Use the Alphabet

This is a fun exercise that can work for almost any type of writing: craft a piece where each sentence starts with the next letter of the alphabet. Here’s the start of one to show you what I mean:

At six o’clock, Josie woke up. Before she’d even opened her eyes, she knew what had woken her: she could hear it, just like she’d heard it every Friday morning for months. Cliff, her neighbour, was out in his garden. Despite all the times she’d gone round and asked him, through gritted teeth, to please wait until at least seven, he was mowing the blasted lawn again.

“Excuse me!” she called, over the fence. For a moment, she thought he hadn’t heard her over the sound of the mower.

(Yes, it’s tricky once you get to X! You might find this list helpful, or you might choose to use a sentence-starting word that merely contains an X.)

#10: Write with a Sentence Length Limit in Place

Can you limit every sentence you write to ten words? (Or fewer!) This might be tricky. It’s a great exercise for bloggers and online marketers, though. Short snappy sentences and paragraphs work well online.

You might want to draft as normal, then edit ruthlessly. Or you could count the words as you type. Whatever works for you!

(Yes, the sentences in this section are ten words max…)

#11: Write Without Using Any Adverbs

This is a common exercise advised for fiction writers: write a whole scene without using a single adverb.

Adverbs are words that modify verbs, adjectives and adverbs. They often (though not always) end with –ly.

Here are a few sentences with the adverbs indicated in bold:

The girl walked quickly to school. (“Quickly” is modifying the verb “walked”.)

Slowly, the fairly tall man stood.  (“Slowly” is modifying the verb “stood”, and “fairly” is modifying the adjective “tall”)

On the bus, the baby cried dismayingly loudly. (“Dismayingly” is modifying the adverb “loudly”, and “loudly” is modifying the verb “cried”.)

Writing without adverbs forces you to write crisper, clearer (and shorter!) sentences, which often have more impact. In particular, you’ll find yourself choosing stronger verbs.

All of these sentences could replace “The girl walked quickly to school” – and each has a slightly different nuance:

The girl strode to school.

The girl hurried to school.

The girl power-walked to school.

Of course, adverbs aren’t bad in themselves – so I don’t recommend avoiding them in all your writing! This exercise can help you, though, to be more aware of when you’re using adverbs unnecessarily.

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Pick one of the above exercises to try out during your writing time this week. (If you’re feeling up for it, pick two and combine them – how about rewriting a classic without using any adverbs?) Have fun!

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