#posting traditional art feels weirdly exposed. like my hand made that!

[argiopi]

on the backs of your mothers

[cosmicfurby]

things that Actually Happened at my very rural very small high school in the Middle of Nowhere, Spain:

(inspired by people getting shocked at some tags i left in a post about public vs private schools)

guy brought a small, rusted hatchet in his backpack along with Larios gin on a plastic bottle. he does porn now

a teacher thought a student had flipped him off (i know first hand he was just doing some kind of funny gesture to a friend of his who had just lost his dad the previous night). he proceeded to throw him into the hallway, grab him by the neck and yell at him. he got suspended and said he had depression so as to never come back

the principal (married to the arts teacher) slept with a student

the arts teacher (married to the principal) slept with a student

a tech teacher slept with a British exchange student and divorced his wife over the scandal

PE teacher slept with a student

the boys bathroom downstairs was deemed "out of service for lack of civility" (complete with a little pink pig drawn on the poster) because some kids had apparently agreed to go shit there and clog the toilets every single day

a student threw a chair at a teacher and the police were called

drug-detecting doggies every week

footprints on the floor

seventh-grades having fight clubs

PE teacher (not the one mentioned above) would look at us, uhm. weirdly. sick fuck loved to position the legs of hotter girls

a mouse once came out of a closet in the classics classroom. poor rodent was swiftly exterminated but we made sure his memory lived on. we called him phillippos and made him our god. some say the mouse plushie my class bought is still where we left it when we graduated, peeking his head from behind a poster and wearing a laurel crown

some kids drew a feminist mural in collaboration with local artists to raise awareness on the role of women in the rural world. it got defaced with fascist symbols, genitalia and various insults less than a year later

we used to call the principal rambo. i don't even know why

a kid peed on a bin when my brother was in seventh grade because the teacher wouldn't let him go to the toilet

our yearly tradition of buying pink carnations and sending sweet letters on valentine's day turned dark when the juniors at that time, who were in charge of the delicate operation, opened some cards and lost like half of them. they even had an Instagram account dedicated to "expose" people's crushes and messages as if this were gossip girl

the yearly Christmas card contest was rigged year after year to the point only those select few who had used expensive materials could have a passing chance

we had to call the civil guards on a girl who was threatening to beat us up with a bat and barricaded ourselves inside the secretary's office until they arrived

in seventh grade i was very kindly taught how to make a flamethrower with a can of deodorant and a lighter via a dramatic demonstration by a classmate who tried to set his entire table on fire. it didn't work, as he merely flambeed it. when he asked the teacher about this, he sighed and said "well héctor, it didn't burn because it's not real wood".

the projectors would absolutely never work properly and we always had to either pick the tallest of the bunch or hoist someone up so they could wack it into consciousness

the building was 50 years old, the oldest in our county, and none of the plumbing was functional

teachers vs students soccer game ended with a history teacher having a broken leg

some guy stole my lit teacher's phone and unsuccessfully tried to flush the sim card down the toilet of a nearby bar to get rid of the evidence. little did he know ALL teachers frequent that bar. imagine the teacher's shock when she found her sim card in a toilet.

my classics teacher got a formal complaint over him "confraternizing" with us and inviting us to coffee when we didn't feel like doing latin. we know none of us wrote the complaint, so we can only gue- it was the arts teacher. definitely

that same arts teacher (principal's wife, Karen who complained about my classics teacher, banged a student) was universally hated by students and faculty alike. we hated how she talked about herself in third person, how strict she was and the fact she loved to attack us very personally and give us mean spirited nicknames (mine was eyebrows). the teachers apparently avoided her to the extent of not wanting to sit in her vicinity when dining out or in the cafe. my classics teacher once pretended to choke on a pastry to get out of a conversation with her

accessibility was a foreign concept. an elevator was installed when i enrolled, but it was forbidden from student use.

speaking of foreign concepts, there was exactly five (5) students of color: three girls of Chinese extraction and two Dominican siblings. needless to say i know they were treated generally poorly and, in the case of one of the Chinese girls, not assisted in the slightest when it came to culture shock nor the language.

my English teacher in eighth and ninth grade was absolutely excellent so when he retired, the general population was very upset. the teacher that replaced him in tenth grade was bullied off her position

on pride month, lgtbq+ speakers were invited to do Ted talks for us. in eleventh grade, be it for lack of suitable speakers we hadn't had over yet or be it for a lack of budget, some of the openly queer students (including me) were approached instead. i don't really know what happened in the end with the talks that year, but me and the classmate who was supposed to talk with me were strongly discouraged to participate by some seniors who threatened to physically assault us

anyway this is not even why I need therapy