#pouring one out for revali and theseus
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OUGHHHH the endless striving to be good and appreciated and perfect but never quite reaching it no matter how hard you try
#june speaks#pouring one out for revali and theseus#it just always feels like even as i improve its not enough!!!! maybe i dont start my projects the night before but i chip at it like once#in a while til i have to still rush at the end!!! my grades have actually gotten worse even tho im taking all honors now!!! i have friends#sort of but theyre more friends w each other than me and we never speak outside of school and they just get along so easily and i just dont#know how to close the gap!!!!!! i dont know whats wrong with me!!!!!!!!! why can all my classmates connect and bond with each other like its#nothing but im always stuck on the outskirts with no idea how they even got there!!!!! we all started fresh and i had a chance to befriend#people but even with a new start i wasted it and now theyre all so close w each other and im just here!! as always!!! first to have to take#a different table when theres no more room first to have to walk on the grass or the street when theres no room to stand together#and so i tell myself that it wont matter in the end and what i need to do is focus on my grades and i’ll get a scholarship and career and#itll all work out but i cant even accomplish that!!!! i cant make myself work hard enough and when i try its never perfect never good enough#and when i succeed thats just par for the course so who even cares!!! a is for average b is for be better or else and c is for crying#its 12 am so maybe i’ll feel better after waking up but like. its like the ocean. it hits and i come up only long enough to take a breath#before being shoved back under. i keep thinking ‘‘things are so much better’’ until i have to realize nothings really improved after all#vent//
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