#prank war champion

[hermitprankwar]

And the Hermit Prank War champion is...

FREE GLASS!

Congratulations to Etho for the prank of all time, and thanks to everyone for participating!

[girlgenius1111]

Can we get some sol headcannons pretty please?🥺👉👈

alwaysssssss ☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️

-ingrid and sol’s parents come for the copa de la reina final. ingrid told them not to go to bilbao for the champions league final, but she didn’t say anything about going to zaragoza for the copa de la reina final. sol runs into them in a coffee shop near the hotel, and freaks out. it’s not pretty.

- sol pretends to be very tough and cool and independent but her favorite thing after a long day is a hug from her sister. she also loves throw blankets. she has like 8 stuffed under her bed and they are all for different occasions. one for when she’s sick. one for movie nights with ingrid and mapi. one for scout. one that fresa used once to take a nap on her bed that she hasn’t washed for no particular reason (it smells like fresa).

-when she gets her cast removed, there’s a spoon in there. it clatters to the ground and mapi and ingrid are like ??? and sol genuinely does not remember how it got in there.

- sol and mapi begin a prank war that starts with mapi dying scout’s fur blue and ends when sol tries to shave a slit in mapi’s eyebrow, but mapi wakes up and moves and mapi is down an eyebrow and ingrid says ENOUGH.

-the first good grade sol gets on a test in school is after she gets a tutor, and she brings it home and shows ingrid, thinking it’s not that big of a deal. but ingrid very proudly puts it on the fridge and she catches sol smiling at it sometimes.

- sol is a nervous WRECK before the UWCL final. she’s competitive and she hates losing but she also knows how hard ingrid and mapi have worked this season and she doesn’t want to see them disappointed. she spends the whole match barely able to watch.

-sol notices that sometimes when she mentions things she did in norway or things her parents did, ingrid and mapi get really upset. not with her, obviously, but it still makes her feel bad so she stops sharing as much for a while. they notice, eventually, and bring it up to her, and she tells them she doesn’t want to make them feel bad. they assure her that they’d rather be upset then her keep her feelings in.

[unabashednightmarepizza]

A/N: This is like the backstory of both AUs I'm writing, minus the Dainsleif love from hundreds of years ago in "Last Champion" and the one with the regular SAGAU.

And yes, this is me begging for some SAGAU, Creator!Reader ideas/requests alonsgide with Dainsleif and Baizhu, or any other characters

Okay so, in both of the Creator!Reader AU's I'm writing, reader favoures Khaenri'ah more but never outly says it in fear of a War or the Archons not taking it well. They are the "pride and joy" of Them, (the people worships Them, and yes they are godless in a way but they devoted themselves to the Creator so who is mightier? Mondstadt? Natlan?) and when not even the Archons or the Four Shade knew of the Creator's face, They were sitting with Dain eating peacefully or playing with the children of Khaenri'ah as They let the younger ones play in wonder with Their powers, the makeshift toys and park with Their golden powers, with Their starry hair and braid it as they liked.

It wasn't a norm, nor was it forbidden to be touchy with their Creator since They insisted on it. Every day, the Creator would come and watch them, or up on the throne, as they accomplished more and more each day.

And in the meantime, They also understood their ambitions and love for the nature of life. They had become much more humane, understanding of feelings and why they did what they did and why they reacted in certain ways.

The first time They felt pain was one that gave Dain nightmares-

But the day They felt love was... even more chaotic and also wholesome.

Platonic love when a mother rushed to her child when the kid fell and romantic öne when They... saw a couple kissing.

"Dain, what's that?" You pointed softly with a confused tilt of your head and Dain had to refrain from smiling softly at you.

He had a reputation to uphold, even if it included his God.

"Hmm? Oh, a couple, Your Grace." He stated obviously, watching you hum for a second before your starry eyes found his blue, star-shaped one and caught it in a soft and intense way. You held his hand thightly in yours, your heart beating loudly inside the mortal cages of this body as a foreign feeling coursed through you... Unknown to the way Dain's heart as well beated harshly under his own as a blush rose to his pale cheeks.

"And what are they doing?"

"They are kissing... It's what people who love each other do." He said breathlessly and stared at your lips. That was wrong, but you were just so kind... so understanding and loving.

And all the time you two spent together made hım slowly fall for you, all the time he watched you force someone in the palace to have a walk with you or play pranks while trying to stiffle his own chuckles captured his heart.

"So... does that mean we can do that too?"

*shocked Pikachu Dain as he tried to explain that you can't do that with everyone but your lover*

But, no one could deny the fact that their captain was so obviously in love with Them. So captivated and enchanted by them that it really touched their heart whenever they saw him carrying You between his arms with a lovesick smile as you laughed serenely, lighting their souls and heart up, while pointing to somewhere that caught your attention.

There were some that preferred you to show the same affection to the Royal family, but most were pleased and happy that it was someone they relied on. So much so that there were many festivals on both of your names, though you two sneaked away and under a white canopy...

Had your first kiss ever, with a promise ring soon gifted to each other that represented eternity with your pure love.

You foolishly believed everything would be better, no one would suspect anything and you would get to court him peacefully. You didn't slack on your job, and Dain understood that. Of course he did! He was glad and happy that he had the eternal love of the Creator after all, and the times you two spent time together in either his or your bed, talking idly with him tracing shapes on your back and you listening to his heart as you laid on his chest, creating even more memories to look back to, the lights of the City reflecting on your bodies as your love for the man warmed him in a protective cacoon...

It was true heaven for both you, Teyvat and Khaenri'ah.

But nothing good lasts forever, not when you forgot one trivial thing

Celestia knows tho, all the times you ascended down It watched you with jealousy and hatred as all your affection was poured on them and this Dainsleif. It was your first creation, It was there before Teyvat, that Dainsleif was there. It was who you loved the most once...First the Archons, and now Khaenri'ah took you away from Them.

And if They had to get rid of them, and all the people that took you away... So be it.

And shit goes down to when the Cataclysm happens and as the Creator, who also had to fight Celestia so that your children would be safe, at one last attempt at defending and protecting Khaenri'ah who had become more like an actual home that people you should have never cared for in the beginning, you give away your powers so that they would be saved from the evil clutches of Celestia and live.

(Even though it wasn't enough to prevent the "immortality curse" and "eroison".)

But! That also means that Celestia would be able to easily overpower Them and torn the Creator!Reader apart, to make Them even more weaker to chain them forever with them, or maybe away from Teyvat to where they could watch Them forever.

And Dain, as your beloved, is obviously angry. Angry at everything, at the curse on him that slowly ate his memories with you away, his humanity away but then... Then he remembers, he remembers the time you worriedly told him that Celestia had been acting strange, like what they called "a spoiled child".

But you never even for once thought about the possibility of your first creation to betray you like that, even when he talked about his concerns about your safety, to be more cautious.

"They are my first ever, we have been side by side for so long, They would never do that!"

And now, you were forced to watch as they... everyone screamed in pain and agony, begging for help and loosing their minds, and their lives... Dain becoming the shell of the man he once was as he became a nomad... Ei loosing Makoto, Morax loosing his friends and Guizhong, Barbatos loosing that batd friend of him that thought him of Freedom, Buer giving herself away...

But none of them, not even for once blaming you.

But, if there was one thing Celestia didn't think about... It was the fact that you would never leave your people alone to die, to perish.

And as you waited in the shadows, in a deep slumber, until your time came, you silently made your plans.

For now... You let Celestia believe that They were victorious.

For now... They wouldn't face the true wrath of the Creator, as they too, changed.

[ty-bayonet-betteridge]

@smoozie okay!!!!! i just finished figuring out every hermits godly origin so.

the basic premise of the AU is that every single hermit is a god, or a being of similar power (except for Xisuma, who didn't intend to be admin of a server of mostly gods and DOESNT UNDERSTAND HOW THIS HAPPENED TO HIM GODDAMNIT.) together, they make up a pantheon thats occasionally worshiped by members of other servers, which some of them lean into and others find very, very uncomfortable. It's also a "being worshiped makes you more powerful" setting so there's that.

specifics as to their origins:

BDubs - A living saint of the sun and its light. Inherits some small amount of divine power from this, and says that this makes him a god. The other gods, especially Gem (who helped to grant him this power) think this is very cute of him.

Beef - A semi-omniscient demigod who mostly acts in service of other, greater gods. His latest patron is Big Salmon, a "higher power" that he claims controls the concepts of the water, consequences, and commerce.

Cleo - All Cleos across the multiverse have been left in mental contact with each other after the Time Witch's ritual. They form a powerful network between them, altogether controlling the flow of time and space across the servers they intersect with.

Cub - Through blood sacrifice, poorly understood magic, and worship of Vex gods, rendered himself functionally immortal. This was a science experiment for him, but he'll take immortality if it's what the end result comes to.

Doc - Achieved code-warping levels of power after the successful slaying of a Developer in single combat. Xisuma frequently enlists his help in keeping the server stable, because surprise surprise, 26 gods in the same place of vastly different origins makes the code a bit unstable.

Etho - Shapeshifting trickster god. Old, though not the oldest member of the server. Sometimes claims that he's following a script handed down by beings above him, though most other members of the server think he's saying that to dodge responsibility for his mischief.

False - False and her sister Symmetra were natural-born deities, worshiped as counterparts. False is worshiped as goddess of victory, art, and the water, while Symmetra is worshiped as goddess of defeat, industry, and the earth. False hasn't seen her sister in hundreds of years, and over time their worshipers combined their iconography into a single god.

Gem - Gem is a dimension-hopping, shapeshifting celestial being with domain over nature and sunlight. She pretends not to know what other members of the server are talking about when they bring this up, and mostly uses her powers for LARP purposes.

Grian - Watcher. Has claimed the server as his own, and thus sustains himself on high-intensity emotions of its occupants. To sate this hunger, he regularly starts wars, games, and other server events.

Hypno - A mage who ascended to demigod status through feats of arcane prowess. Longstanding enemies, dating back to their mortal days, with Wels. Their feud has become more amicable recently, thank god.

Impulse - He and Tango have the same origin, having ascended as part of the Rule Our World challenge they were placed into. After the forces of the universe were done subjecting them to whatever whims crossed their minds, Impulse became the embodiment of achievement and industriousness, while Tango became the embodiment of chaos and games.

Iskall - Part of the first group of players that Developers ever made. Escaped the purge of the first players, and has been dimension-hopping and stealing power from different servers ever since. Technically still mortal, but has been alive longer than any of the other server members.

Jevin - A demigod, and champion of the demigod Wels. Jevin was granted some of Wels's power under the condition that he helped Wels bother Hypno, which Jevin is more than okay to do. When he's not using divine power to prank Hypno, he's using it to prank everyone else.

Joe - Has, on separate occasions, claimed to be both "the most powerful of the Hermits" and "just an average guy." When pressed on what made him more powerful than the gods and eldritch beings he kept as company, Joe just smiled and said "I'm Joe Hills, recording as I always do in Nashville, Tennessee." Nobody knows what this means.

Joel - Joel Thundercheeks of Stratos, an 11-foot tall deity of lightning, lore, and the skies. His abrasive personality and tendency to throw power around made some question whether he should be invited, but Gem and Pearl advocated for him hard. He's used to being the only god around, so he's a bit surprised that throwing his power around doesn't always work now.

Keralis - Fragment of an eldritch being, and the conduit through which most of its power expresses itself. Bridges dimensions, and travels through time as easily as it does space. Unclear whether he is aware of any of this.

Mumbo - Was a mortal, though he has rendered himself immortal through animancy. His own soul is bound inside of a golden heart inside of his S7 base, and he has supplemented it with a fragment of Grian's, making him part-Watcher.

Pearl - Santa Perla, goddess of flowers, the harvest, the summer solstice, and the noonday sun. Thought she was mortal until the Empires crossover, when she remembered her past queendom. Her life force is tied to the lands she cultivates, so she has taken careful effort to ensure all her bases are verdant and flourishing.

Ren - One day declared himself "the king of all gods" despite not having been a god before this. None of the other Hermits were particularly willing to challenge him on this since it seemed harmless. Somehow, though, news of it spread, and he has established a fairly thorough following across other servers as a god of leadership, trade, travel, and theater.

Scar - Ate God. Which one? He never elaborates. Oh, sure, he'll go into detail about, say, the recipe he used to cook God, but ask him which God he ate, or how he killed it first, and he just brushes right past it. His power can't be denied, though, so he must be telling the truth.

Skizz - Suffused with Withering Energy, and acts as a bringer of doom and despair because of it. Oh, sure, he's a really nice and supportive guy, and everybody loves him, but also things tend to collapse around him in dramatic and spectacular fashion. Hermitcraft has only survived because of the power of 25 other gods crushing any disaster before it happens.

Stress - Goddess of hope, beauty, and love. Unfortunately, she was cursed a long time ago by Iskall when they first met, adopting a monstrous form, which is worshiped as a deity of doom, evil, and hate. He's been very apologetic about it since and offered to help her reverse the curse, but she's overall very happy with the state of things. They've become very close friends.

Tango - See Impulse. Unlike most gods, who become more powerful the more they're worshiped, Tango draws power directly from the souls of those who perish inside his games, which has made him somewhat giddy about the concept of death in general.

Wels - A knight and folk hero who ascended to demigod status from the pure gratitude of those who he saved. Considered a patron of justice and protection. Over the years, he's become bored with this, and gotten into quite a bit of mischief. See also Jevin and Hypno.

XB - A mortal godkiller. He ruthlessly hunts gods outside the server in order to make them answer for their crimes against mortals. Within the server, he also occasionally kills the others, just for funsies.

Zed - Avatar of Death. Controls the process of respawning, though he often gets so distracted that he forgets to actually pay attention to it, leaving some players in limbo for quite a while before he remembers he has to pay attention to their souls.

[sevi007]

Hades 2 rambling (no I have not had time to watch the dev stream yet, I‘m just excited):

* Since there is Odysseus, is there going to be Penelope? Telemachus? Is it going to be our job to reunite them, like we did with Achilles and Patroculus?

* From what I gathered, Melinoe did not get to grow up with Hades, Persephone and Zagreus. So no sibling moments? ToT But I need those in my life! I hope they will at least get some typical sibling-bonding afterwards. Oh, and PRANKS. I need them to pull pranks.

* There seem to be characters like Hercules, and what could be Polyphemus which did not make it into the stream, so I'm not sure if they are confirmed to show up but - If so, I wonder if Odysseus and Polyphemus will have beef - or Odysseus and Poseidon, for that matter. You know, the whole Odysee and "Nobody" thing? Blinding Polyphemus? It could be a bit like that uneasy relationship Thanatos and Sysiphus had got going.

For that matter, I want a running gag with Odysseus being "Nobody" please. So much potential. So much annoying everyone, including the narrator.

Also do Achilles and Patroclus KNOW Odysseus in this iteration? Based on the myths, they should from the Trojan war. That would be an interesting reunion

* I should hope the characters from the first game will return, and if they do, I want Theseus and Hercules to meet up. One calls himself the strongest hero / champion, the other is regularly known as THE strongest hero in Greece myth. I say FIGHT (not literally. Or, maybe a little? XD)

* I need at least one jelaous moment from Zag over Melinoe‘s ghost arm

* The other way around, I need an Oh moment from Melinoe (who hopefully will have met Than and Meg at that point) when she realizes her big bro is in a relationship with Death and a Fury. Yes I will just assume they will keep that relationship going in the second game.

If anything else pops up (especially after I can FINALLY watch that stream) I will add onto it but these are my most pressing thoughts right now

[thataddylady]

Analysis: 'To Sir Phillip with Love' What do Philoiseers love about Eloise x Phillip?

So on to the final part, what do we like so much about this pairing and this book? This book has the vibe of Persuasion by Jane Austen, Charlotte Heywood x Alexander Colbourne from Sanditon, or Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock in The Lakehouse.

This is for the late bloomers who thought they needed to give up because there was no chance of finding their match and ended up finding the love of their lives.

Eloise was a character I related to. From the strong personality, the rambling and the anxiety about life passing me by, to the prank war with the kids that eventually breaks the ice. I saw myself in her. Eloise is a character with a high opinion of herself but she is very aware that it's not a shared opinion. Which is isolating. Her family loves her but her brothers avoid her and her sisters don't share her interests. No one has the stamina to keep up with her. She's looking for peace and companionship over love.

But then she meets Phillip. He's isolated, has been mostly ignored and passed over most of his life. He is an untapped mine of humor, intellect, tenderness and love. He is desperate for help with his children and his life, it's true, but he is also touch starved and desperate for someone to talk to. he reaches out to Eloise because through their letters to each other he thinks they could find friendship and companionship. Ultimately they want the same things.

What they both end up getting is a champion in their corner who sees them, understands them and appreciates everything they bring. Phillip is a character who has never really had anyone take an interest in him or his interests. Eloise is a person who has always been told that she is too much, too pushy, too talkative. Neither of them are a good fit for society life.

It's the fact that Phillip loves listening to Eloise talk, and genuinely adores pretty much every aspect of her personality. He loves and values how bossy and opinionated she is, he loves how she expresses herself. He loves how intelligent and expressive she is, he loves how capable she is. He is not cowed or put off by these very strong parts of her personality. When her brothers make a joke at her expense he is the first to tell them to knock that shit off, despite the fact that they nearly killed him when they first meet. He loves the color and noise and energy she brings to his life and he nurtures it in her. This is something Eloise has never had with anyone else, not even her family.

For Phillip, Eloise is able to give him a clearer and healthier perspective on his life. The first time anyone tells him "No your father was a monster and I wish he was alive so I could thrash him." is Eloise. The first person to say "I don't think anyone or anything could have made Marina happy," which is a fact (it was beyond his ability as she was clinically depressed with severe postpartum depression) is Eloise. She is the first person he is able to talk to about his marriage and lift the weight of bearing it alone. Eloise is the first person to tell him his children need him and miss him because they love him.

It is something you think is obvious, but he legitimately doesn't realize it. If you look at his history, it makes sense that he would also see his children as people who are stuck with him because there was no one else. His life has also taught him that no matter how hard he tries, he will never be enough, never be what someone needs or wants. When he marries Eloise, he thinks he's gotten them the parent they always deserved, someone better than him. The idea that they genuinely want to be around him as well is not something he has considered.

His children, who are super clever but mischievous and adorable think Eloise hung the moon and basically agree to make her their leader.

Essentially, Phillip and Eloise both become more of themselves but better in a very supportive, loving, wildly passionate relationship. Like they are having sex on the regular. If you think Colin is obsessed with Penelope, buckle up because you haven't seen Phillip Crane. Their love story is the adage that 'everything about you the wrong person couldn't handle is the exact thing the right person has been waiting for'.

The critique I hear a lot is readers wanted Eloise with someone more exciting who challenges her. Phillip isn't a reformed rake with rogueish charm and toxic masculinity who needs a loving touch from the right ball buster to remind him to be human. And I can see the appeal for that kind of hero, especially for Eloise. But would that hero be a better match for Eloise, or is it simply a more entertaining story with a flashier hero for a flashy heroine?

The truth is Eloise is surrounded by people who challenge her. What she lacks is acceptance vs tolerance and genuine appreciation for what she's been told are flaws. Her brothers hate shooting with her because she's too good. Phillip doesn't care, he loves to see her be her awesome self. Her brothers find her too domineering, Phillip loves that she always has a plan and an opinion to share. Phillip isn't a pushover incapable of standing up to her. But he isn't going to fight or argue with her for the sake of it. He'd rather help her do what she wants to do and then make love to her all night afterwards.

Eloise is a person who is in constant battle with the world, with opinions and forces she cannot control but certainly would like to. Does she really need someone to challenge her at home or does she need someone who sees her as she is and accepts her fully, giving her a warm soft place to land? Does she need a sparring partner or a quiet champion who adores her, nurtures her, and is ready to step up to smooth her way when she needs it?

That's all I got folks.

@whatsaweekend this is it!

[pablitogavii]

Could we do part 9 of prank wars where the reader (his gf) lets go of him hand randomly to see how he reacts.

You were sitting in your boyfriend's arms watching the Champion League final games with some of his teammates and their better halves at his apartment in Madrid.

"Fuck Man City! They kicked us out!" Ansu said and all the boys agreed wishing them a loss for that simple reason. It was always adorable to you how passionate Pablo was about this sport even when he wasn't the one on the pitch.

You were holding one of Pablo's hands playing with his figners while he ran his other through your hair gently. He reached to grab his beer when an idea popped into your head making you smirk excited to see his reaction.

He took a sip and you let go of his hand continuing to watch the game like nothing happened. Pablo immediately noticed the lack of contact but he thought it was just to check your phone or something expecting you to grab his hand again. You always do it...

When that didn't happen, he put his beer back on the table and turned towards you so he can whisper without other's noticing.

"Why did you let go of my hand amor?" he said and you smiled just shrugging your shoulders which made him curious. He was always cute when his Sevillano accent came out whenever he spoke English to you but you appreciated how fast he learned.

"Devolvérsela!!" he said and you chuckled shaking your head and hiding your hands into his hoodie pockets and he leaned into your neck tickling you.

"Noo.." you chuckle being extremely ticklish and he knew it rubbing his nose against your neck making you squirm around and catch everyone's attention.

"They are so cute!!" Mikky commented while Frenkie winked at Pablo who was blushing a little while still trying to pull your hand out of the pockets.

"Stop playing and give it back!!" he said but you kept ignoring his request until he stopped trying to tickle you but laid his head on your shoulder pouting sadly. He was so adorable like this! Ugh! You couldn't keep playing with him like this...not after seeing those eyes.

You finally pulled your hands out placing them onto his face and stroking it softly while his big one rested on top of yours and held it again with a smile slowly creeping onto your face.

"You're cute Pablito" you whisper and he whined kissing your lips before pulling your hand up and kissing it afterwards while holding it tightly.

[spicyclover]

Masterlist

I created this masterlist so you can read all the stories I’ve written and not miss one.

Clic here

Masterlist F1 stories :

I accept requests for all the Grid. Here are stories I already wrote 

Mick Schumacher: 

Pursuit of happiness

Painting our lives

Impulsive thoughts

Race of champions part one | part two | part three

Australia

I don’t want to! | part one | part two

Late hours

Santa’s letter

Feeling “Caliente” | Part one | Part two

Christmas Reverie

Kiss me, Mick! part one | part two

Unplanned | part one | part two | part three | part four | part five | part six | part seven

When there’s rain, there’s always a rainbow

Jealousy Jealousy

Nervous habit

George Russel: 

The instant of a blink

She’s everything. He’s just Ken.

Pierre Gasly: 

At the nightclub

Cutting through my broken heart

It is those we love most who destroy us

Summer love

Miscommunication

Lando Norris: 

You can make the whole place shimmer

Handmaid gift

Driving through the suburbs

The strawberry lollipop

On your lips, half volt. 

Daddy, I want Mommy!

Live Stream

Two + one = Three | part one | part two

None of you

Jaffa cakes

Just one day | part one | part two

Words can be painful

When the touch of water awakens desire | Part one

Charles Leclerc: 

No one can hurt you

Motherhood part one | part two | part three | part four

Sometimes leaving is the best option

I hear a symphony

Remind me of him

Bad Tooth

Losing someone we love

Ultimatum | part one | part two | part three | part four | part five

Water kisses 

Desire is a strong feeling | part one | part two 

Always stealing the spotlight

Summer love

Pranks

All the things you said | Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four

Cupcake 

Carlos Sainz:

Delilah part one | part two

Two + one = Three | part one | part two

The accident that caused our love | part one

Dinner served

Lance Stroll:

Fireflies

Midnight sky

In bed with you is my favourite part of the day

Injured

Daniel Ricciardo:

Show me your scar

Blow my whistle

Sometimes you need to cry over a sandwich

Her boyfriend, his girlfriend

Paddock baby

Happy New Year, Sunshine

About damn time...

Max Verstappen:

Keep my husband's name out of your f*cking mouth!

Dutchman | part one | part two | part three

It’s not easy to be a single parent.

Just get out!

Cupcake

This is why you shouldn’t scare your wife...

[...]

HP

Harry Potter: 

War is over | Part one

Thank you for your support every day. I hope you like my stories and will continue to follow me for more adventures.

07/30/23

[t-horn-n]

ii. marvel cinematic universe masterlist

— masterlist navigation.

— pietro maximoff

oneshot : spirits in my head : mild-angst, happy ending

like the twins, you gained powers from the sceptre, but they were a little darker than you bargained for. 

oneshot : phantasmagoria : semi angst, happy ending

pietro convinces you that he’s different from your hallucinations. 

oneshot : lost and found : mild angst, happy ending

request from anon, “I’ve never been a Pietro girl until like a couple of days ago and now I’m in deep so thank you for indulging my fixation on this man ✋😩 if you do platonic fics, can I request one where reader is the twins younger sibling who they had to leave in Sokovia but one of the other Avengers tracks you down and rescues you so you finally get to reunite with your brother and sister? Maybe you’re a little hurt bc you felt like they abandoned you? I hope this makes sense tyty” 

— bucky barnes

oneshot : game over : fluff

during a heated videogame tournament, the best will truly be revealed. 

oneshot : red : angst, happy ending

secrets tend to come out when stakes are high. 

oneshot : green ink : fluff

when after nearly seventy years bucky joins the avengers, it’s nice to see a friendly face he can count on to be there. 

oneshot : memories bring back you : semi-angst, happy ending

hydra wanted him back, that was all you could remember. but as you meet him you don’t know what hurts more: bullet wounds or remembering. 

oneshot : through the looking glass : angst-ish

for a moment, imagine you took bucky’s place in the air carrier scene and bucky donned the role of steve.  

— loki laufeyson

oneshot : catalyst : fluff 

part ii : mild-angst, happy ending who is the prank war champion, loki, god of mischief; or you, goddess of fun?

— masterlist navigation.

[thewritingmagician2022]

Hiiii hewwo :3 do u mind writing how the brothers would act with an MC that's just 8 years old? Idk if you do platonic scenarios, but if u do it'd be very cool🩷

I can definitely do platonic requests! I will admit that I’m not particularly well-versed in children as an only child and no friends with kids but I hope my experiences with Luke allow me to do this justice! Thank you for your patience as well; I’ve been busy with a flare up and then a ton of appointments.

Lucifer: As much as Lucifer doesn’t want to admit it, he’s definitely mastered the father figure sort of role for his family since coming to the Devildom. He’s taken a step beyond just the oldest brother and typically leaves that more to Mammon. Which means when Diavolo chooses a literal child as the RAD exchange student (soemthing Lucifer is gonna fight with him about later because what sort of idiotic choice is that?), Lucifer is immediately stepeing into the role of parental figure. Now, he’s not very affectionate and he does hold you to super high standards as he tries to imprint on you and mold you into the most perfectly well-behaved and studious little human possible but…he’s also hopelessly wrapped around your little finger. You teeter on the edge of being spoiled and Lucifer is far more attached to you than he would ever admit and he is petrified of the idea of something happening to you under his watch for more than just professional reasons.

Mammon: Mammon has immaculate tsundere older bother vibes. He’s not happy at all when he’s put in charge of a little kid and he can’t help but wonder if it’s a joke for them to make the exchange student a child so he doesn’t take the job super seriously at first, regularly pawning you off onto other people. However, once things start getting serious, Mammon becomes your biggest champion. He’s going to tease you like crazy and prank you but he’s not going to let alone else ever bother you. If someone so much as pushes against you too hard in the hallways at RAD, Mammon knows and that demon who did it is going to have several angry brothers to answer to. Mammon will also lowkey let you hang out in his room when you’re homesick and he spends an exorbitant amount of Lucifer’s money to spoil you because he can’t stand seeing you sad or wanting for anything.

Levi: Shockingly, Levi does well with kids, as evidenced by his interactions with Luke. Maybe it’s because they’re easily taken in by his interests and tend to see his video game prowess as something cool rather than something nerdy or lame. Whatever it is, children tend to have a good time with Levi and you’re no exception. He loves to play games and watch shows with you; he takes on the role of mentor basically with this studd and loves teaching you all the details which you soak up because little kids are so good at hyperfixating. He makes sure to only show you age appropriate stuff and you’re definitely wandering around the HoL with a Switch and Pokemon or Animal Crossing, always trying to show your stuff to the other brothers who listen to you with more patience than they’ve ever shown Levi. Levi is very much like the best-friend kind of brother where you trust him and end up telling him everything because you couldn’t possibly be embarrassed or nervous in front of Levi.

Satan: Satan is the antagonistic older brother figure. He takes great joy in riling you and Luke up by insulting you or teasing you, though it’s never overly serious and he enjoys it almost as much when you return the energy. Expect small prank wars with Satan and he will happily team up with you to go against the other brothers, especially Lucifer who he tries to turn you against. He doesn’t need to be your faovrite brother necessarily but he feels great joy in knowing you like him and respect him, especially if you ever choose him over Lucifer or another for something. It’s one of the reasons he enjoys teaching you things and helping you with RAD coursework so much. There’s something satisfying about having you listen to him and look up to him, particularly when you’re gushing about how smart he is and how good a teacher he is. Satan also teams up wth you to secure a pet (a cat obviously) for the HoL, advocating for how it’ll teach you responsibility or something. In his softer moments, Satan is happy to read to you, particularly mysteries, and he enjoys watching you try to solve everything before the end.

Asmo: Asmo is immediately smitten with this adorable human child that’s come to the Devildom. He just thinks you’re the cutest little thing and is going to turn you into his own living doll. Be prepared to be dressed up and showed off. He’s gonna take you everywhere with him, his own little shadow (which thrills you of course because who doesn’t wanna be Asmo’s favorite little pet?) and some times the other brother’s have to stop him and remind him that ‘no, MC is literally a child and cannot go to the club with you’. Asmo may not be the most practical big brother vibe, in fact he’s more like an older sister vibe, where he shares all the gossip of the Devildom with you while you sit with your face masks on, painting each other’s nails in his room, and an episode of the trashiest reality shows plays in the background. He’s teaching you so much about self-love and confidence and charm, and you’re going to go back the human realm such a secure, confident little individual under his tutelage.

Beel: Beel is nervous around you because you’re just…so small. So easily breakable. So innocent. It reminds him a bit of Lilith, which hits him pretty hard at first, and he doesn’t really want to get close to you because he doesn’t know if he can take another loss like that. It means he spends a lot of time in the beginning just watching over you from afar and if he sees someone at RAD so much as shove past you too roughly, he’s going to deal with them after school and you’ll never have that problem again - only you won’t know why because he keeps it a secret. Against his own will, Beel becomes more and more attached to you to the point where he enjoys having you at his practices and games to cheer him on and likes sharing warm milk and dessert with you before bed and he’s carrying you around half the time because you know that if you run and jump at him, he’ll catch you no matter what he’s doing or what he has to drop to do it. Beel is like the older brother that you admire and just sort of trail around behind like a little puppy, and you live for when he ruffles your hair or shares his ice cream with you.

Belphie: Belphie is used to being the baby of the family (aside from Lilith and he doesn’t want to go there, even in his own head) so it’s definitely an adjustment to get used to having a young newcomer around the house, getting all of his brother’s attention and affection. I won’t talk about pre-murder Belphie because Belphie killing an actual child as an act of revenge is taking it maybe a teeny tiny step too far. I imagine he doesn’t want to like you and is super short/disinterested at first, unless he’s bothering you in some way and he can definitely be more bitchy than his other siblings. But you grow on him, sort of like a fungus, as you chatter at him even while he doens’t answer and follow him around and do little tasks for him in hopes that he’ll start to like you. Eventually, you reach a point where Belphie is the person you go to for some peace and quiet in this crazy house. He’ll let you nap in his room and point out the constellations in the planetarium and he watches over your dreams to make sure you don’t have any nightmares. He’s definitely a secretly soft brother vibe.

Diavolo: Diavolo is like a proud soccer mom from the very beginning. He chose you because was so taken in by this adorable little human and that grows every day you’re in the Devildom. You may be little but you are fierce; it’s incredible watching a child essentially take over and captivate an entire realm to the point where they have a legion of the greatest demons catering to their every beck and call. Honestly, Diavolo couldn’t be prouder of you and he doesn’t care at all that he may be spoiling you and granting you a few too many freedoms. He celebrates your every accomplishment as if it’s monumental and he bends over backwards to make the Devildom a place where you feel safe and comfortable while you visit. You essentially become both his surrogate kid and the Devildom mascot in his eyes.

Barbatos: Barbatos, much like Lucifer, really doesn’t understand Diavolo’s decision to have a child as the exchange student. It sounds like asking for trouble and chaos, which is exactly what they don’t need during this very important time while they try to foster a relationship between the three realms. Barbatos trusts Diavolo though and so he accepts your appearance with his usual grace. He is very slow to warm up - he doesn’t interact with children much so he’s a little awkward and can sometimes be a little cold but he is looking out for you in his own ways. Over time, he grows closer and closer to you, and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t understand why everyone loved you so much. Barbatos enjoys making you your favorite meals from home and teaching you about the flora and animal life in the Devildom, since those are things that interest you much more than the politics or such. Your innocence is very sweet to him and it makes him quite protective; he’s a silent force in the background making sure you’re safe.

Solomon: Solomon is the definition of the fun, crazy uncle. He loves the idea of the exchange student being a child; if the demons wanted a good representation of humanity, this is the most raw and unfiltered version of it that they could possibly find. He knows they don’t have any inkling of how much chaos you’re going to cause by being there, even if you’re a good child. Your curiosity and imagination and oversaturated feelings about things keep everyone on their toes and they’re learning from you just as much as you learn from them. Solomon becomes a little bit like family to you as the only other human available and you adore him, constantly gushing about how you wanna grow up and be a cool sorcerer like him. Solomon thrives under the attention and, to keep his cool points up, constantly whisks you away on all sorts of adventures and shows you all kinds of spells (most of which are not appropriate for children, Solomon, damn it).

Simeon: Simeon treats you like his own kid and he’s basically raising you and Luke as siblings. He’s got such single dad energy. He’s working hard as an exchange student at RAD and trying to keep the peace between the Devildom and the Celestial realm but he’s also gotta chase after you and Luke as you run amok through the kingdom. You two never give him a moments rest to be honest. For the most part, Simeon is a responsible guardian who keeps you both safe and is endlessly patient/kind, even when you two are being horribly naughty or causing problems. However, as a single dad, Simeon sometimes falls in that childlike mentality with you both and he will happily join in the prank wars or use you two as manipulation against the others, sort of like guys using babies to pick up women in the park. He can also tease you both a pretty significant amount because he believes in self-sufficiency and you won’t learn that if he babies you the whole time. Overall, he’s a 10/10 parent and the most suited to taking care of a child in the Devildom.

[ohlookanothercartoontofallinto]

How about Malon playing a prank on the Chain?

(Here you go!)

You sure they won't be mad?" Wind giggled, in a whisper. 

"Were you?" Malon giggled along with the boy as she continued to stir around the paint. 

The sailor looked over in the mirror that was displayed in the hallway. On his baby face was red and blue paint in the same pattern as Time's permanent tattoos. 

"Not really!" Wind had awoken that morning to the feeling of a brush on his face. 

Malon had decided today was the perfect day to prank her boys, and what better prank than to make them look like their adoptive father figure. Her first victim was the sailor who she had not expected to be such a light sleeper. He woke up two seconds after the brush met his face but let Malon finish the prank first. 

Now he was her partner in crime. Since all of the heroes were light sleepers, and Wild normally slept with one eye open. The two would need to work fast. 

The youngest went into maximum stealth mode taking the lightest of light sleepers, Legend, Wild, Hyrule, and Wars. The boy didn't want to risk any of them pulling a knife out on their leader's wife. While Malon took, Sky, Twilight, and Four. 

Both partners barely breathed as they walked into the quiet room, only filled with the sounds of shallow breaths and a few members' soft snores. As each put their brush on the young one's faces. They didn't even realize they were marking them with the symbol of the Fierce Deity. 

After what felt like an eternity, and with many pauses to make sure none woke up. They had made it to their final victim, Twilight. The sailor tapped on the red-haired woman's shoulder. Taking his finger pointing to the red paint, before tracing a nonexistent tattoo that was supposed to look like the Ranchers. 

By a well-educated guess, Malon figured out what the boy meant. 

'Go over Twilight's tattoo with red then mark him with blue.' 

The ranch women couldn't help but give a bit of a gremlin grin. Before doing what the youngest advised. Successfully going over Twilight's normal tattoo. 

In that second Twilight decided to be a being of chaos as well. Beginning to move in his sleep, scaring the living daylights out of both perpetrators. 

The rancher's body began to stretch as his eyes fluttered. 

Wind looked to Malon, eyes screaming 'Abort abort! Mission failed!' 

Only Malon refused to fail. It wasn't in her being. They would finish pranking all these boys. 

She opened her lips and a soft melody came out. 

A lullaby that the Sailor had decided sounded like wind chimes on a breezy morning as the ocean waves crashed against the sturdy land. 

The melody did the trick, as Twilight's body relaxed once again. 

The crime gremlins waited for a few ticks before continuing. When they did they were like lighting. Malon painted the deity markings, and Wind opened the door with the tools of their crime in his hand. 

Once Malon finished they scurried through the door shutting it quietly as a mouse. 

They had done it! 

Large grins spread across each face and the pair shuffled into the kitchen quickly cleaning off the brushes and storing the paint back into its designated shelf. 

Both giggling all the while. 

Now comes the hardest part. 

Waiting. 

Both parties started to work on breakfast, knowing chaos would soon ensue.

"Who do you think will come out first!" Wind was all but bouncing. As he placed wood into the furnace. 

"My money's on the champion." Malon smiled as she mixed some batter. 

"That's hard to beat, my money be on him as well, that or the Traveler. He told me that you have to be up early if you want to survive." 

The older woman paused, those weren't the words of a teen. That troubled her, hopefully, her little prank would soften the hearts of her sons. 

The pair continued to work and like clockwork, the champion, shuffled his way into the kitchen big yawns escaping from his mouth. 

“Morning,” he blinked the sleep away from his eyes. 

“Morning sweety,” Malon hummed. 

“Rise and shine champ!” Wind beamed. 

Wild was taken aback by the boy and his painted face. “Ummm Sailor, you have something on your–” 

“Oh, hun!” Malon cut wild off, winking at him. 

The wheels in the wild child’s brain started turning before the torch lit up. Feeling his own face for the paint. “Oh, this is going to be fun.” 

Wind beamed at the older, mischievous expressions lined their faces. Wild joined in on the waiting game. 

One by one, like lambs to the slaughter each hero entered. Never realizing their face was painted, but rather noticing the others. Before in shock, touching their own. Malon and Wind giggled with amusement. 

Malon thanked the three golden goddesses above that Time was the last one awake. All the boys quickly got into position. All sitting around the table eating their breakfast, they all agreed that they act like everything was normal. That nothing was the matter. 

“Finally, I can prank the unprankable.” Malon smiled brightly. 

“He’s that big of a stick in the mud?” Sky question. 

“No, quite the opposite.” The captain corrected, having war flashbacks. 

“Shhhhh shhh I think I hear him coming.” Four waved his hands to calm everyone down. 

Right on cue, time entered the kitchen, head down as he was fixing his belt. 

Wind attempted to make a normal conversation. “Good day, lad! We were just talking with Mrs. Malon about what our morning jobs should be.” 

A wave of good mornings followed. 

Time chuckled as he looked up. “Were you now–?” The old man paused. Trying to figure out what was wrong with reality. 

“Everything okay old man?” Twilight asked kindly. 

“Yeah, you look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Wars added on. 

Time kept staring. 

Malon was now worried, did she cross a line? “Sweetheart?” 

Time let out a hearty laugh, the contagious kind, one that echoes. “See Malon! I told you these are all our boys! Look at them they’re, the spitting image of me!” 

All the heroes joined in on the laughter. 

Malon shook her head. “That might be true,” she pulled Wind into a side hug, “but they definitely got my personality!’ 

They ended up taking a family photo that day.

[lovelytsunoda]

shut up and put your money where your mouth is // oscar piastri

summary: the reserve drivers have a little mischief pool going, keeping themselves occupied on weekends where they have nothing better to do. until nico hulkenberg pushes y/n and oscar a little too far and makes them confront how they feel about each other

pairing: oscar piastri x female alfa romeo! reader

warnings: alcohol is involved, drinking games are played (spin the bottle, seven minutes in heaven) and a massive prank war is waged on every driver in the paddock, implied smut scene at the end, but no smut is written. sexual innuendos because jack doohan is a little shit, y/n is too cool for oscar (she's also really mean to fernando but in a funny way . . . sorry nando) mentions of a crash ( everybody was fine, y/n is just still feeling the emotional effects )

author's note: so for a while now i've been wanting to make a story or a fic that focuses on the reserve drivers because i feel like they all sort of get forgotten, so this fic is dedicated to the reserves and those who hide behind the scenes : )

"alright, jamie and logan got the extra dye from alex, liam and dennis are going to distract the old man." y/n started eagerly, making grabby hands towards logan sargeant, who gave her a strange look before passing over the bottle of red hair dye. "oscar, do you and jack have a way of getting into his driver's room?"

the reserve drivers were standing outside the alpine hospitality building, mischeif in their eyes as a plan started brewing. the reserve and development drivers were only performatively employed through driver's academies. they had no real reason to be there on race weekends. very rarely were they actually needed.

it was natural for them to get bored, expected, even. because who wanted to stand around and look at data all day when it didn't even affect them? who wanted to take a ten hour flight to another continent just to sit around and do nothing all race weekend except look good for the team?

and that's when nico hulkenberg had made his proposal. every season, it was a new game. always disruptive to the regular drivers, always chaotic and more than once it got guenther steiner swearing at the lot of them. two teams, a season full of dares and challenges.

and may the best pranksters win.

jack doohan nodded. "it was shockingly easy to get his keys. all you've gotta do is find a way to swap out his shampoo for the dye. and then when he goes to take a shower after free practice," jack clapped his hands together. "his hair will be red before the old codger knows what hit him."

their team was the young guns, the under twenty-fives. there were more of them than anybody else, but they were competing against guys who had been there way longer: nico hulkenberg, antonio giovinazzi, robert schwartzman, nyck de vries, stoffel vandoorne and pietro fittipaldi

"i'll come inside with you. since the contract thing started, people in alpine hospitality have been giving me a wide berth." oscar piastri shrugged his shoulders, hands in the front pockets of his black chinos, making his alpine polo ride up, exposing a sliver of his toned stomach.

y/n sucked in a barely audible breath, hoping that nobody around noticed.

she wasn't sure when she developed a crush on the aussie f2 champion, but she knew it wouldn't lead her anywhere good. never mix business and pleasure, so she had always been told.

no, it was better to leave oscar to his own devices. to pretend she felt nothing towards him.

"you don't have to." she said gently, pulling a denim jacket over her alfa romeo polo. with any luck, she was little-known enough that the hospitality staff wouldn't recognize her and just let her pass through.

worst comes to worst, she could always pretend she was coming to say hi to abbi pulling, who had recently signed to the alpine young driver's programme.

"you don't even know where his driver's room is."

she hated it when oscar was right. "fine." she pouted, hooking her fingers in her belt loops. "but let's make it quick, before daddy szafnauer gets the wrong idea."

jack snorted, and logan shook his head, wishing he could leave the conversation.

"excuse me, what?" the american frowned, raising his eyebrows. "there's something wrong with you."

"what?" she laughed, sipping from her plastic starbucks cup.

god, oscar would never tire of that sound, the visual of y/n throwing her head back, smile splitting her features as her hair spilled down her back.

"he's like, the fourth most fuckable team principal. don't even get me started on daddy toto."

"there's a scale?" jack looked scandalized. "i am but a mere child, too innocent for this!"

oscar snorted. "according to the country of australia, you're street legal, doohan."

"here's the scale: toto, jost, andreas, otmar, christian, mattia, mike, guenther, fred, franz. i'd fuck ted kravitz, too. don't underestimate daddy kravitz."

somehow, at the revelation that y/n wanted to fuck toto wolff, oscar's ego ached. if her type was six foot five austrian men old enough to be her father twice over, what chance did he have?

'"i know way too much about you." logan shook his head, beginning to walk backwards. "good luck fucking fernando over- bad word choice given that last conversation, let me know how it goes."'

y/n laughed, playfully punching oscar in the arm. "come on, alpine's most wanted. i've got an old man's day to ruin and a self-centered german to upstage."

y/n tossed the bottle in the air, catching it with a grin as she brushed past oscar and headed into the hospitality suite.

oscar watched her go with wide, bright eyes, attempting to casually hide the boner forming in his khaki's as his eyes zeroed in on the alfa romeo driver's sashaying backside, made extra prominent by her tight black jeans.

"you coming, problem child?" she shouted, a bright smile on her face as she stuck her head out of the glass door.

"coming in just a second!"

"i'm sure he's coming in more ways than one." jack snorted, patting oscar on the shoulder. "you are so whipped, mate. and you aren't even getting good sex out of it. that's a crime, oscar!"""i'm sure he's coming in more ways than one." jack snorted, patting oscar on the shoulder. "you are so whipped, mate. and you aren't even getting good sex out of it. that's a crime, oscar!"

"fuck off!" oscar whined, pushing jack's hands away as he sauntered up the hospitality steps. "i'm doing it for my commitment to the bit."

he wished that he had sounded like he believed it, but everybody knew that he didn't.

everybody knew that he did it because he was head over heels for y/n y/l/n.

he ran to catch up to her, directing the testing driver in the direction of fernando alonso's diver's room. fernando was never the original target of that prix weekend's scheme. in fact, y/n was never supposed to be the person who planned it. this was supposed to be frederik vesti's weekend to plan and execute the scheme.

but after an unfortunate incident in fp1 resulted in fernando cutting y/n off and sending her into the wall, cutting her coveted rookie driving session short, a session she had fought freddie vasseur tooth and nail to steal away from theo pourchaire, plans had changed and she'd swapped weekends with fred.

drawing the keys out of her jacket pocket and offloading her frappucino on the australian standing next to her, she opened the unmarked door to fernando's room, rolling her eyes at the massive spanish flag hanging on the wall.

"where's the fucker's shampoo? he doesn't get to ruin my one young driver session and get away with it." she started pacing, hands reaching to the back of her head to tap on the brim of the backwards baseball cap she was wearing. "changing his hair color is fucking mercy compared to what i should be doing to him."

"shower's are that way." oscar nodded, cocking his head towards a royal blue hallway. "how many points do you think this is going to get us with the hulk? you have to admit, that stunt he pulled on crofty and brundle last week was kind of legendary."

y/n rolled her eyes, heading towards fernando's shower and wishing she had brought gloves. seriously, what do old men get up to when they shower? she didn't want to find out. she could get a goddamn staph infection just from stepping foot in the damn thing.

"all nico did was fuck with the microphones. they fixed it in less than half an hour. all that happened was making sure that fp1 was narrated by darth vader." she shook her head, wincing as she reached into fernando's shower, wishing she could have gotten somebody else to do it. "nico shouldn't even be doing the scoring if he's participating. why can't kubica do it? he's a neutral party."

but there wasn't enough money in the world to pay one of the other reserves to stand in fernando alonso's shower.

she uncapped the bottle of men's head and shoulders, overturning it in the bathroom sink as she turned on the faucet, watching the thick, cream colored liquid bubble and fizz as it went down the drain.

"robert made it damn clear that he wants nothing to do with this." oscar laughed, trying to decipher the label on the side of the starbucks cup, curious to see what sweet concoction was in the cup, especially knowing that she didn't like to drink coffee.

"understandable. i think robert's kind of done with everybody's bullshit. mostly theo's, though. frankly, so am i. truth be told, i think vasseur wants me gone." she frowned, twisting open the bottle of red dye that logan had given her and upending it over the plastic bottle. "i don't think that he's a fan of the fact that i'm never going to drive competitively."

"that's a bullshit reason for him to fire you."

"that's what i said!" y/n complained, throwing her hands in the air as she waited for the thick red dye to drain. she wasn't even sure if her plan was going to work: fernando's hair was dark, and it was arguable that the color might not even show unless the spaniard bleached it first. "i've never wanted to drive competitively, but after what happened in magny-cours, i'll never be able to compete again."

she had never wanted the fame, the glory, the champagne and the trophies. all she'd ever wanted to do was drive. she'd had a mediocrely successful season with the w series in 2019, followed up by half a season in formula three before a three-car crash had broken four bones in her foot.

she could still drive, and she loved her job working in testing and development, but she could tell that frederic vasseur was tiring of prepping and training a driver that was never going to make it to f1. a driver that would never compete in anything ever again. the crash had stolen all of her self-confidence, and there was nothing she could do other than pack all of her dignity in a box and walk out of the prema garage, terrified to ever race again, for fear of another incident occurring. her partnership with the ferrari driver's academy had fallen through a year later, and she counted her blessings every day that alfa romeo had rescued her from the wreckage of what she had seen her life becoming.

shaking her head as she realized that the dye bottle was empty, she rinsed it out before stowing the evidence in her jacket pocket and putting the cap back on the shampoo bottle before thrusting it back into fernando's shower.

"come on, piastri." she grinned, taking her drink back from the academy driver. "let's get out of here. all we can do now is wait for the old man to have a shower, and then nico is going to have to give in and declare us the winners."

they got their answer three hours later.

y/n was walking through the paddock with jamie chadwick and jessica hawkins, twirling her paddock pass between her fingers as she made small talk with the girls she considered to be her best friends.

"so, y/n . . . " jess started, the pom pom on her signature beanie hat bouncing as the brit walked. "are you finally going to tell oscar?"

"nope." she answered. too fast, always too fast when it came to feelings. too quick to catch them, even quicker to deny them. especially when they concerned the boy at the center of every f1 news story in the last two weeks, ever since he had announced he would not be signing with alpine, but in fact would be ousting daniel ricciardo from mclaren. "never. no feelings whatsoever."

"aw, jess, look at her face go all red." jamie laughed, nudging y/n's side. "she's definitley in love with piastri."

"um, go fuck yourselves. both of you." she laughed, trying to hide how flustered she was. she had been waiting all day for fernando to come running out of hospitality, cussing her out in spanish at the top of his lungs. "the way my life is going, i might not even be around the paddock next year. i've actually started looking into testing for formula e, maybe i can become a reserve driver or something there. mclaren will need people."

"vasseur finally sick of seeing your face in his garage?" jess replied sadly. "i'm sorry, love. freddie just has a stick up his ass and someone needs to yank it out. with force."

the girls laughed, arms around shoulder's as they kept walking down the paddock. y/n froze, reaching for jess and jamie's arms, trying to get them to slow down before they walked past the alpine suite. jack and oscar were sitting on the patio with liam and dennis, waiting to see the fruits of their labour.

"who did this?! which pendejo is responsible!?"

"jesus fucking christ." jess groaned. "please tell me that you didn't."

on y/n's other side, jamie extended her hand for a low high five. "so that's what the dye was for." she laughed as the front door to alpine hospitality swung open, a furious fernando alonso standing on the front steps.

his hair was still soaking wet, but it was clear to everybody in a five mile radius that his hair was now a very vivid cherry red. the pure look of rage on the spaniard's face should have been enough to send a shockwave of terror through her body.

instead, it just made her feel alive.

at the patio table, the four boys had collapsed in laughter. jack had his head buried in his hands while liam had his phone out to videotape the entire encounter.

"did you cabrons do this?" fernando roared. "as if what you've done to the sanctity of this team wasn't enough!"

"oscar, run!" she could hear dennis hauger shout through his fit of laughter.

oscar stayed put, laughing to himself as he looked over at y/n.

and when he winked at her, she thought her legs would buckle, the butterflies spreading through her stomach so rapidly that she thought she might be sick.

she had been past the point of denying her feelings to herself a long long time ago, and now the aussie had a permanent place in her dreams, in both horny and wholesome ways. her fingers had become quite acquainted with the motions they robotically performed whenever oscar piastri appeared in her late-night fantasies.

"oi fernando!" she shouted, throwing her middle finger up in the air, ignoring all the patrons and crew members who were gawking at the alpine driver. "that's for sending me into the barriers, you old cunt!"

when fernando turned back to her, jessica grabbed her hand, and in a fit of laughter the three girls took off down the paddock to the aston martin garage.

nico hulkenberg had decided to award ten points for that stunt.

he had given himself eight points for the darth vader microphone trick.

the war would continue for weeks upon weeks, only stopping for the summer break. jessica and y/n had teamed up with liam to cover lawrence stroll's desk in plastic wrap, rendering it unusable and relishing in watching the multi-millionaire throw a fit when he couldn't figure out how to get the plastic wrap off his ikea desk. ( worth eight points. )

robert schwartzman and antonio giovinazzi had countered that by gluing clown wigs to the headphones used by the ferrari pit wall. to this day, mattia still didn't know who was responsible. ( worth five points. ferrari were already enough of a joke as is. )

and suddenly they were in sao paolo, and the season was almost over. begrudgingly, hulkenberg had relented and crowned the younger group the winners.

y/n had hefted the large lego trophy with a proud look on her face, standing in the center of oscar piastri's king-sized hotel bed while the other reserve drivers clapped for her from the floor.

they had gathered together for one last hurrah, a night without pranks or fighting or superiority complexes. a night to celebrate: logan, nyck, oscar and nico were all being promoted.

and y/n had news of her own that she planned to announce after the season ended in abu dhabi: she would be leaving f1 to go to formula e and act as the reserve and development driver for avalanche andretti now that she knew for certain that vasseur would not be renewing her alfa contract for another year.

jamie would be leaving for indy nxt, and liam for japanese super formula. it was truly their last night all together, their last night of things being the way that they used to be.

"i think we need to end this season properly." pietro insisted, reaching for the bottle of ferrari trento that was in the middle of the circle where they were all sitting. "it's our last season together, so forgive me for growing attached to you motherfuckers."

with news of nico returning to grid with his new place at haas, he had been quick to hand the reins of the prank war to his young apprentice. pietro fittipaldi intended to take his job very seriously, and was already dividing the teams for the 2023 season.

"psst, i'll still be around." y/n said, hopping down from the bed. "someone's gotta keep piastri in check. and who else is going to remind you all just how fuckable your bosses are."

"ugh, never say those words again, i beg you!" antonio begged. "if i ever hear you talk about 'daddy mattia' again, i swear i will put a laxative in your drink, just like i did to steiner."

the laxative stunt had won giovinazzi eight points, but at what cost? guenther had been pissed off for the rest of the weekend, and there had been a smell lingering around the haas motorhome despite f1's best efforts at cleaning it up.

y/n just laughed, holding out her plastic solo cup. "hit me, fittipaldi. i want as much champagne as can fit in this glass."

pietro shook his head, but abided the testing driver's request, filling the solo cup up to the line.

"what do you say that we make this night a little more interesting?" jack doohan proposed, looking over at oscar and y/n out of the corner of his eye.

the two young adults were sitting directly next to each other, their knees touching through their jeans. and then jack suddenly had the best worst idea ever.

he turned to liam, lowering his voice and whispering something into the kiwi's ear before they both burst out into sly grins.

"oi, fitti, how much champagne is left in that bottle?"

pietro frowned, looking at the green glass bottle in his hands. "like, a third. why?"

"just drink it so we can use the bottle." liam suggested, offering up his own solo cup. "pour the rest of it in here."

"nope." robert schwartzman cut in. "liam, i refuse to deal with your drunk ass again. that can be somebody else's problem today."

as pietro passed off the bottle, nico met liam's shit eating grin. still chuckling to himself, the red bull junior nodded in the direction of oscar and y/n, who were signing the nineties song blasting from pietro's phone in a very tipsy, our of key way. but somehow, they were perfectly in tune with each other, even if their rendition of 'hot in herre' didn't match up with one nelly was singing on the other end of the phone speaker.

nico's eyes widened as he watched jack set up the bottle in the middle of the circle.

they were going to play spin the bottle, but with the number of men outweighing the number of women, it was a set up for chaos. but even more than that, it was supposed to be a way to get two very specific lovesick idiots to finally admit how they felt about each other.

"who's ready for spin the bottle?!" liam shouted, being met with cheers from some of the other guys. guys who just wanted to see something really stupid that they could use as blackmail material.

but nobody missed how oscar and y/n instinctually moved away from each other as pietro shut the music off, a dusting pink on their cheeks as y/n moved to put jamie in between her and oscar.

"aren't we a little old for this?" stoffel vandoorne sighed. "we are grown ass adults."

liam shrugged. "you don't have to play if you don't want to."

"and let you jackasses have all the fun?"

"i say trophy bearer over there goes first." jack proposed, pointing at y/n.

nobody missed the way that her eyes flicked to oscar, nerves settling in her stomach. it was fine, she told herself. there was no way that the bottle would land on oscar. and next year, she'd be in a different paddock and her heart could cool down from all the ways that the aussie used to make it race.

taking a deep breath, she leaned forward to spin the empty trento bottle, nails scraping against the label. she closed her eyes, sitting back on her heels and crossing her fingers behind her back that god would be on her side.

hoping and praying that it wouldn't land on oscar.

and because her eyes were still closed, she didn't have a chance to watch jack nudge his foot into the circle, stilling the bottle's movements so that it landed on oscar piastri.

oscar's face flushed pink as he leaned back against the bed. next to him, liam and jack cheered, as did nico from the other side of the circle.

"oscar and y/n!" the german cheered. "now where's the closet? we're playing full seven minutes in heaven, out here we'll set the timer. you kids have fun." nico winked

trying not to make eye contact with each other, oscar and y/n got to their feet, slowly walking over to the closet like they had been sentenced to the gallows.

"ladies first." oscar coughed out, sliding the mirrored door open and allowing y/n to slip inside the confined space. the future mclaren driver followed her inside.

they stood less than two feet apart, breaths heavy.

"we don't have to do this if you don't want to." oscar said quietly. "nico is a jackass. we can just stand here and talk for seven minutes."

"oscar," she cut him off. "i need to tell you something." the time for being a coward was over. she wasn't going to be here next year. if oscar didn't feel the same, at least she wouldn't have to deal with seeing his stupid, pretty face every day. "i'm not coming back next year. vasseur told me that management is changing, and that the new guy isn't likely to keep me around if i'm never going to drive competitively again. i'm going to andretti, oscar. i'm going to be a formula e reserve in 2023."

"what? what do you mean you went to andretti?" oscar's voice was faint as he stared at her, his eyes slowly moving from her plump, pink lips, down to her tiny black garage top, the lace of her bralette peeking through the deep-cut collar, her cleavage on perfect display.

if he was ever going to do something with his feelings, now would be the time.

but y/n didn't even give him the chance, pressing up on her toes to smash her lips to oscar's, his hands flying to her waist. it was a searing kiss, all teeth and tongue as oscar pushed her back against the wall.

sometimes, a kiss could say more than words.

she moaned as oscar's hands squeezed her thighs through her army green flare pants, the aussie taking that moment to gently slip his tongue in between her lips. her fingers carded at his hair, gently pulling a small handful, eliciting a growl from the driver's throat before he changed his area of focus, hungrily kissing her neck.

y/n gasped at the feeling, a sensation made double as oscar's cold hands touched her skin, teasing the bottom of her shirt, running over her toned stomach.

"oscar." she whined, feeling a familiar ache in between her thighs. in the back her mind, she wondered if they were nearing the end of their seven minutes.

or if nico had even bothered to count.

they got their answer when a harsh knock on the closet door startled oscar so much that he tripped on his own feet, falling to the carpeted floor.

"time's up, kiddos!" stoffel shouted from the other side. "make yourselves decent and then get your asses back out here."

getting decent would be difficult: her hair was a mess, a hickey already forming on the side of her neck, and there was definitely a bulge in oscar's jeans that wasn't there when the duo entered the closet.

"fuck." she mumbled, resting her head against the wall. "what do we do?"

"it's my room." oscar reminded. "i can just kick them out, and we can finish what we started."

"good plan." y/n agreed, throwing the closet door open.

the pair stumbled out, and oscar found himself tugging the tails of his button up shirt over his crotch, hoping that nobody could tell how massively turned on he was.

"everybody out!" he shouted. "this night has been incredible, but i'm very tired and have things to do in the morning." he lied blatantly, dragging dennis and jack to their feet.

logan gave him a very confused look. "the fuck? tomorrow is race day? they don't need any of us."

"logan." jamie said gently "read the room."

it took the american a minute as the rest of the reserve drivers groaned, abandoning their night of champagne and debauchery. or at least, relocating it from oscar's room. but when the pieces clicked in his mind, his eyes went wide. "what the fuck? you're kicking us out so you can fuck, aren't you?"

"ew!" robert shouted. "god, you guys are terrible!"

jack and liam just winked at each other as they slipped into the hallway, thankful that their plan had worked, and that the two would finally stop being idiots around each other.

"yes, now get the fuck out unless you want to watch." y/n concluded, kicking theo pourchaire in the back to try and get him to stand up.

"wait, live porn is an option? i'll hide in the closet, i swear you won't even know that i'm there!" pietro shouted, half joking and half not as oscar pushed him through the doorframe.

"out!" oscar shouted again, holding the door open as all of the drivers walked out in single file.

"call us in the morning and tell us all about it, love." jessica winked at y/n as she and jamie followed stoffel out.

"oh of course." y/n agreed. "see you all in the morning. or not!" she shouted down the hallway before oscar closed and locked the door.

they stood toe to toe, soft smiles on their faces.

"hi, lover." she said softly, eyes on his lips.

"hi." he said, just as soft as he pressed his lips to hers. "no, where were we?"

"well, i think you were about to do this." she hummed, pulling her shirt over her head and dropping it to the ground.

oscar's eyes darkened at the sight. the lacy black bralette was even better now that he could see all of it, the halter strap sweeping up around the back of neck. as she spun around, he could see the thin strap draping low down on her back.

"god, you're beautiful." he rasped.

she wasn't prepared for how deep his voice was going to get, but it thrilled her to no end, knowing that she'd had that effect on oscar this entire time.

"you know what makes it even better?" she lowered her voice, pretending to be distracted as she started to undo the buttons on oscar's shirt. "i'm wearing a matching thong."

"bed, now." oscar insisted, sweeping her off her feet.

it was going to be a looong night.

[princess-of-the-corner]

Had a really fun episodic idea for Guardian Neos VS Lady Glasswing I thought you might like.

So Chloe's been Guardian for less than a week, but nothing much has happened... Yet, so she's hastily trying to get a handle on everything and one of these things is combat skill.

As Adrien knows she has issues (Her breakdown cver the phone when Fu died) knows how to fence and that she's the Guardian he is able to help somewhat, with nightly combat lessons.

Chloe knows the Guardian is meant to have a staff so she focusses on that and uses Second Chance to cram a lot of extra training in and to always end on a high note by memorizing Adrien's attack patterns.

This means she starts getting a little cocky and critical at school, enough that she ends up antagonizing some of the fencing team.

As this is happening Marinette's brainstorming with Noroo about whether choosing a champion with combat training would be better, but if she can trust them not to turn on her like Magistrix did.

CHloe makes a good and boastful showing of the fencing team, but Kagami being Kagami can see Chloe's skills are rooted in memorizing Adrien's attack patterns more than anything.

When Chloe challenges her, Kagami switches up fighting styles, leaving Chloe with a 404 error file not found failure on her hands & so angry she ignores Kagami's olive branch to prank her instead.

Kagami is Marinette's new test subject.

Chloe: Why does this keep happening to me!? The Kwami in her bag: (Staring at her like they are on the office) Chloe: ... Oh right... Consequences for the thing I did.

There's a battle, Chloe manages to win by creative use of Kwami swapping but ends up having to linger to save Kagami & catch the Butterfly.

She ends up giving the game away, almost, by being like "Weird to see you so worked up" before claiming Chloe told her that when being whisked to safety.

Kagami: Tsk, I shouldn't have bothered trying to help that girl. Neos: You were... Trying to help? Kagami: Se was relying on memorizing one persons attack patterns to win, it would never last her and after beating her to prove that I was offering to let her spar again, but she stormed off. Neos: Oh... Well, just keep an open mind, having been Akumatized I'm sure you see how easy it is for one's anger to run away with them, bye!

LATER

Chloe: I need to speak with you Tsurugi!! Kagami (Takes in a deep breath and turns) What. Chloe: ... I apologize, I apologize for pranking you. I started those duels, and even set the terms, pranking you for a loss was not a victory to me but... A sign I didn't think I could win fairly. That was far from exceptional of me.

Kagami: ... If you want to improve then you need to pit yourself against a variety of opponents, there weill be lost battles, but so long as you win the war, they will be worth the minor blows to your pride. Chloe: Uh, what do you mean? Kagami: If you want to improve, sign up to the fencing club, and we can spar again, good day Chloe.

Chloe stands stuff as a statue for nearly a solid minute before screaming into her hands and storming off, "Why couldn't she have stayed mad at me!?"

Sabrina trotted behind her, "Where are you going Chloe?"

Slapping her forehead in sheer vexation, Chloe only had one answer for her.

"To sign up for the fencing club apparently!"

IE, Chloe does think she broke her own standards by pranking Kagami & felt weird that Kagami was trying to help her, but also still expected her to be mad, which she could handle. She can handle people being angry at or hating her, actually reaching out leaves her floundering for what gear to get her mood in.

But that's how Chloe signs up for fencing classes, & Marinette gained some brand new Akuma data.

Okay but no this really highlights on how Chloé only /really/ learns via positive reinforcement.

Like. The Akuma thing is sort of teaching her some Cause and Effect, but not... not really. She's getting a message of 'when I do something mean, people will be upset. And then they come after me for retaliation'.

But that's a cause and effect she's already aware of. She knows that when someone sleights her, she retaliates. Ofc everyone else does it too, right? It's just that these people weren't able to usually and now they can via Magic Nonsense.

And this works here too. Chloé sees Kagami's actions as an attempt to humiliate her. Which.... it is. She may be trying to teach Chloé something, but she's doing it by 'putting her in her place' in front of an audience.

So she sees it as an insult rather than a lesson, and retaliates in turn. Then Kagami 'retaliates' via Akuma. So Chloé wouldn't have initially learned anything.

But Kagami /talking/ and /explaining/ to her what her genuine intentions were re: 'while you can beat one opponent, you need to have a more general study to adapt against anyone even a stranger' does actually get the lesson through to her!

[ohshy]

random punch out headcanons (theyre a little king hippo skewed)

- aran ryan is really good at rhyming. he uses this to annoy people. One time, he wrote a purple prose joke letter to don flamenco which he thought was a genuine exclamation from his lover Carmen, only to find it signed ''(...) my stalwart bullfighting lion, you shine brightly like the mighty orion -> love, aran ryan ♥''. Needless to say, hell broke loose. Aran thought it was worth it though.

- because of aran's rhyming abilities, disco kid has asked him to do a music collab. big mistake, aran only wanted to create sea shanty inspired diss tracks.

- von kaiser is a polyglot !!! he knows almost every language every person speaks in the WVBA. He's not fluent in all of them, but he'll still happily translate for them, if their english is not the best, or if they simply feel more comfortable communicating in their native tongue.

- all the boxers have fanart walls. bear huggers fanart is either wholesome art of him holding or taking care of animals or scribbles of him eating a big raw fish. he thinks the latter r very funny.

- king hippo loves collecting little sea critter trinkets !!! he WILL infodump to you ab them. his favorite fish is the gulper eel, he looked at that fish and thought Hes just like me fr.

- glass joe is a disgruntled fashion snob. he WILL insult his fellow competitors' fashion tastes under his breath. army clothes? in a boxing ring? unfitting! leotards?! out of fashion! Even if other's overhear it, they just leave him be. He's the lowest ranking boxer of the WVBA, hes gotta release his frustration somehow, right?

- great tiger sometimes talks to his own clones if he needs advice or otherwise just wants someone to talk to. It helps him regulate his thoughts and emotions when hes overwhelmed.

- king hippo is the type to unintentionally spit some real wisdom. He even once (unintentionally) gave the materialistic super macho man an existential crisis w/ a pineapple metaphor. Don’t ask macho how, he’ll just spiral again.

- aran ryan, great tiger and piston hondo are in a constant prank war w/ eachother. if things go really awry, either bear hugger or mr sandman step in.

- king hippo's original ring name was ''the human hippo''. he changed it to ''king hippo'' after he became the minor circuit champion though. he, in a way, became king of the ring :)

- bald bull is quite the introverted guy, the press notwithstanding. he has a lot of energy that he can't always release onto a sparring partner. because of this, he's often an emotional mess that outs itself in pent-up aggression. additionally, most social situations are too overwhelming to him, even without the press, and the only opponent he can really equally spar with are his world circuit opponents and his punching bag.

- king hippo, bear hugger, great tiger and bald bull share a companionship for naming themselves after animals. They once tried to get super macho man to change his name to ''super macho shark'' and have mr sandman adopt a sheep gimmick.

- super macho man has ambitions to become the next us president. After he retires boxing, though.

[breannasfluff]

Swallowing hard, Warriors edges forward, hands waving in front of him. He’s useless without the lantern, unable to see what’s around him. He could be walking into a stone wall. He could walk off a cliff. He could be walking into the jaws of a monster.

A rock clatters behind him, too close for comfort. Warriors picks up the pace, shuffling faster. The speed costs him and his foot sinks into a puddle, past his boots. Cold water floods his shoe and he bites off a yelp at the chill. He’s certainly not hot anymore.

Another sound behind him, closer. Warriors gets out of the puddle, trying not to think of small cave bugs crawling into his boot and over his skin. Then—a faint touch on the back of his neck.

He can’t contain the yelp as he spins, throwing his fist out. He touches nothing but air and the faintest breath of laughter.

“Wild. This isn’t funny. I need you to stop.”

There’s no answer. Or, is that faint humming he hears? Sound bounces around the cavern until he has no context for what he hears. Is he still facing the right way? What if he got turned around?

What if he’s going deeper into the cave instead of out?

The what-ifs pile up until Warriors breath comes loud and harsh. Another touch on the back of his neck; damp and clammy. A hand.

He bolts.

Unable to see, Warriors runs blindly, bouncing off stalactites and tripping on the rough floor. The breathing gets louder behind him and he jerks to the side at the last second. A ribbon of pain traces itself across his shoulder, tearing the tunic.

“Stop!”

But there is no stopping. Now bleeding, Warriors scrambles blindly through the cave. Is this how it ends? Hunted until his heart stops with fear? Something cold slides down his back and he jerks away, slapping at his tunic. He can’t see what it is!

“Wild! Stop it, I’m begging you!”

He’s too scared to let this continue. Yet his only answer is more harsh breathing and the faintest laugh. Echoing on its heels is the echo of a lullaby. The sound whispers through the cavern, brushing by Warriors' ear. The words are nonsense, but the echo is unmistakable; Wild.

He’s…he’s being hunted in the cave. Whether the champion means it as a prank or serious matters little. Warriors is alone, scared, and without a means of escape. Fear chokes at his throat, turning his breathing into a high whistle. His heart pounds harder, faster.

The line of blood on his shoulder burns in the freezing air. When did it get so cold? He’s not wearing metal, but the tips of his fingers sting with the chill. The water in his boot turns to ice and he’s losing feeling in his toes.

Warriors edges forward again with a broken sob, hands out in front of him. A few more steps and they touch wet stones. At first, he jerks back, then moves forward as he feels in front of him. Stone, and more stone, and more wet rock. Nothing but stone with every step he takes. He spins, arms out, and touches more stone.

No. No, no, he’s trapped. How—what—

The melody is back, prickling down the back of his neck. Faint laughter warps in the darkness, turning malicious. A great creature breathes deep in the cave. He’s inside a monster, isn’t he? He walked directly into its maw and it will trap him here forever.

The stone presses closer, only it’s not stone, is it? It’s the monster, closing in around him. Weak prey, ripe for the taking.

A sharp line of cold presses against the blood on Warriors’ shoulder, then digs in with grasping claws. The breathing is in his ears now; until he can’t hear the wheeze of his own lungs. This—this is how it ends. Wild is going to kill him and claim it was an accident. Why, why, why —

The claws press into the wound.

Warriors screams.

Light flares, along with a shout. “Wars!”

Read the rest here!

[alolanrain]

I’m just going to start piling my Ta!au quotes into one post instead of spamming everyone's timeline with it. 

----------

(after a missions, Ash had a nightmare and can’t sleep and neither could Rowan)

Ash: That’s a terrible story.

Rowan: not all of us fight Gods and win, my boy. so take what I have. 

Ash:.... tell me how you survived the Dragalge again? 

----------

(later in the Alola timeline-think before Kukui announces the first league)

Ash: You're an asshole, you know that?

Lillie: Mankey see, Mankey do.

Ash: *flashbacks to all the times he’s used the exact phrase* *deep sigh* fair enough. 

------------

(on a simple date after a long stake out mission)

Ash:*tired AF* Are you going to keep looking at me like that or are you actually going to kiss me?

Raihan: Can’t I enjoy looking at my meal before digging into it? 

Ash... *tired, flustered and now angry because he’s flustered*

Raihan: *too pleased, the smug bastard* that’s what I thought. 

------------

(after noticing Meowth working at the new malasada truck outside of school, completely ignoring James and Jessie who ignore him in return)  

Ash: hey-not here to pick a fight, put your claw’s away-do you know Lillie’s brother?

Meowth: *suspicious but interested* the emo kid? 

Ash: yeah.

Meowth:... why? 

Ash: would it be insulting to you if I call him a ragged wet Meowth? 

Meowth: *instantly relaxing* if you don’t call him that I will. 

Ash: *grabbing the malasada's James hands him without making him pay* let’s tag team him then. 

Meowth: sounds perfect to me, now get going. you’re holding up the line Twerp. 

-----------

(meeting and conversing with Goh and Chloe for the first time)

Goh: my mission is to catch Mew and then go on my first Pokémon journey!

Ash: *bites tongue and thank the legendries he’s where sunglasses to hide his uncontrollable flash of anger* 

Chloe: Don’t listen to him-

Goh: Hey!

Chloe: -he’s the dumb one

Ash: *silently already picking favorites* I see. 

------------

(after a prank war) 

Gary: does my life truly mean so little to you? 

Ash: *w/ neon green hair and permanent marker on his face* YES!

------------

(on a random Tuesday in Alola) 

Ash:*swinging in a hammock with sunglasses and his hat* Are you here to kill me? *slurps annoyingly loud at his drink*

Mewtwo:... no but I’m thinking about it now.

--------------

(after loosing the kids in the forest for a while)

Ash: where have you been!?

Lana: *sopping wet*

Mallow: *beginning of a rash on her lips* 

Kiawe:*looks like he got into a fight with something and lost*

Sophocles: *also looks like he got into a fight with something and lost*

Lillie: *covered in flowers with a few Cutiefly buzzing around her* 

Lana: I think you already know. 

-----------

(Champion meeting in Kalos-Lance is sick and Ash is his second by Orange Isles proxy)

Diantha:  You're late. As usual.

Ash: *not high as a kite but not sober either* be happy that I’m even here in the first place. 

Rose: it’s really innapro-

Ash&Diantha: not a word out of you. 

------------

(Kiawe and Lillie hanging out with Ash even though he’s cleaning all his knives)

Ash:  Put that down! You're like a child.

Kiawe: *pouting and placing down a sheathed knife* I’m a teenager, not a child. 

Ash: uh-huh. 

------------

(Ash begrudgingly letting Lana indulge the rain before class one day)

Ash:  Well, don't stand there in the rain all day. Come on.

Lana: but I like the rain.

Ash: okay-let me rephrase then so you understand. Don’t make me give you detention-

Lana: *darts on past* 

Ash: *smirking and start to trail behind* that’s what I thought. 

-----------

(after being trailed by some mercenaries from a Gala) 

Rowan: we’re safe now, aren’t we boy? 

Ash: *checks around corner of the alleyway they ducked into to loose their trackers* Yeah... yeah I think so old-

Goons: *appearing on the other side of the alleyway* there they are!

Ash&Rowan: *in unison* fuckshitfuckingtitballs-

----------

(in Hisui) 

Ash:  I swear it wasn't me.

Cyllene: *annoyed but in a motherly way* now why don’t I believe that? 

Ash:.... because I’m your favorite survey member? *Growlith eyes and slight cheeky smile*

Cyllene: get out of my sight.

Ash: *squeaks* yes, Captain!

---------------

(after an intense debrief after a mission going tits-up as Ash was unknowingly stalked by another mercenary)  

Gary: Who did you piss off this time?

Ash: *slumping down in a chair next to Gary and the large as computer screens* it’s more like who I haven’t pissed off. 

-------------

(after first trimester of finals)

Kukui: *walks into the classroom, see’s Ash blank face and staring at the other doorway where Kukui originally left though* 

Ash:

Kukui:

Ash: 

Kukui: you gonna keep staring or what? 

Ash: *broken out of the strongest dissociation spell in a long time**jumping out of his seat and making a fool of himself while falling down onto the floor* cheese and crackers on balls, you motherfucker-