#praying for someone to write about this au too because I will cry otherwise

[awaitinganorphanera]

Who was going to tell me that in order to produce a fic I actually have to write it >:((((( ??? WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE WORDS DONT JUST APPEAR IN THIN AIR IF I STARE AT THE BLINKING CURSOR LONG ENOUGH WITH MY BRAIN FILLED WITH SO MUCH IDEAS RAHHHH !!!!

Anyway, I just wanted to share a small tidbit of a Hanahaki au CobyMeppo fic/draft/idea/prompt/shitty compilation of words that barely make sense that I've been working on since FEBRUARY but never fucking finished and am currently still struggling to even continue as embarrassing as that sounds because idk whether its cohesive or good enough to even share on Ao3 Its just the idea of Helmeppo developing and struggling through Hanahaki disease would be so neat imo due to how most CobyMeppo shippers head cannon Helmeppo's feelings being unrequited at first (or not at all) and how he just adores Koby so fucking much that he becomes so ruined. I cant. Apologies if the structured and the way it's told is messy and incoherent, I've added the lil space in the indent thingy to depict a different part of the fic since im not very good at transitioning. I haven't written anything in so long and I wanted to pump so much bits that I didn't even weave anything properly so, HERE IT IS: (a lot of it IS corny and a bit cheesy so be forewarned akjsjasjsa)

Koby always liked flowers. Surely then, Helmeppo thought, Koby would like him too. Helmeppo, who dwelled within his prickly walls, each barbed with Rose thorns. Helmeppo, with his muddled virtues, swelling and desiccated like stains from Poppy sap. Helmeppo, with a chest riddled with budding blossoms, all watered by his desolate, weeping heart. Could such qualities appeal to the man he grew to love? Perhaps, Helmeppo thought, and perhaps too, he should have known better.  Known when his feelings had begun to develop into something more than simple tolerance, more than respect, more than adoration and even more than intense attachment to the pink-haired boy. At least then, he would have prepared for the worst. Or at least… That's what he assumed when the worst began. It was a blur, how it started. Helmeppo was always self-aware, extremely conscious of his feelings. He knew of jealousy, anger, longing, all traits that contributed and resulted from his desperate and gnawing want to appease his father. His father, of course. His own blood and bones, the same person who probably caused the beginning of all– this. Was it really a surprise? Helmeppo couldn't think of any fucked up thing in his life that hadn't ultimately been caused by Morgan. He grew to learn how to read the room, read the faces, read the tones, he grew to know his father's thoughts without actually knowing anything about his father's feelings. Did he even feel? Feel for his son? No. Of course not. The only thing Morgan could feel for him was apathy.  Sometimes, Helmeppo wished his father hate him instead, wished that he was worth hitting. At least then, he would have experienced treatment that came with passion and effort, treatment that resulted from feeling, treatment that made him feel at the barest, like he meant something.  The lack of care and lack of anything that Morgan bothered to show to his son was barely even the surface of reasons why Helmeppo is even suffering through this. The cause that made Helmeppos brain chemistry rewire and for his damn neuromodulators to rearrange. To see something as small as a single act of genuine care be perceived as a trick, a lie, a dream that he’d so desperately want to fall into and relive despite the possible consequences. He should have recognized how unhealthy and apparently not normal these thoughts were, should have known that his emotions are unstable and too much, should have seen how horrific he grew to be. But even then, Helmeppo thought, would that have done anything to prevent the illness he'd eventually succumb to?

Of all the horrors in Helmeppo’s life, he would have thought that seeds growing inside his lungs would have been the most and hopefully (though doubtedly, considering his luck in life) last traumatic event that would truly, bring him to ruin. But of course, the world, just like how Helmeppo always found himself to be, would never have enough, and just like the breaths he was left to breathe, would leave him dwindling in the years to come. It started as a blur, again, just like any day in the ship he found himself settled in. A gift. He thought, better than what life offered him when he woke up back in shells town. Or at least that's what he’s been telling himself.  Morgan was cruel, sure, but at least he was familiar. He was easier to navigate, easier to chart and read and hide from.  He couldn’t do this here, when things still felt new. He knew of Garp and his capabilities, but he didn’t know the limits of his patience, he had no clue what and how many things would warrant the usage of his fist. He knew of the shady business of the Navy and the World Government, knew of its structure and how it works; the tutors paid by his father made sure of that much, but he never got to live through it.

SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE ME TIPS ON HOW TO TRANSITION PARTS IN WRITING, I SUCK ASS AND AM OPEN TO CRITIQUES AHJSJAS

[i23kazu]

say no to this

warnings – mentions of abuse in passing, it's not descriptive. also diluc cheats on you. honestly i'd tag this as suggestive because there's a bit of IMPLIED sexy times in this one but i didn't write it in!

characters – diluc x fem!reader [can be read as gn!reader if you'd like, but feminine terminology (wife, mother, etc) is still there]

a/n – the second part of my hamilton au! all lyrics go to lin manuel miranda, i don't take credit for any of it. i had to rewrite some parts of the song to fit the au! please reblog if you enjoyed this! the song is "say no to this" from hamilton :3 link to series post.

There's nothing like summer in the city, Ying thought. Someone under stress meets someone looking pretty – there's trouble in the air, even you can smell it. Our dear Ragnvindr's by himself: I think I'll let him tell it.

( diluc's pov )

I hadn't slept in a week – I was weak, I was awake. You've never seen a bastard orphan more in need of a break. Between longing for Jean and I was missing my wife – that's when Miss Donna Reynolds walked into my life.

The girl said, " Mr Ragnvindr, I know you are a man of honor. I'm so sorry to bother you at home, but I don't know where to go, and I came here all alone."

Reynolds added, "My husband's doin' me wrong. He's been beatin' me, cheatin' on me, and mistreatin' me. But suddenly he's up and gone, and I don't have the means to go on."

I sighed. The Reynolds family was a notoriously broken one – James Reynolds was a gambler and a drunkard, a wife beater, even. Donna Reynolds took the brunt of it all.

Therefore, I offered her a loan and offered to walk her home – I was luckily she lived close by, otherwise I wouldn't have offered in lieu of the mountains of paperwork that welcomed me in my abode. Once we were out on the streets, Donna tapped my shoulder.

"Yes?"

"Oh, nothing – you're too kind, sir."

I felt a deep pity for her life, and gave her thirty bucks that I had kept away.

"I live a block away," she said. "This one's mine, sir."

Donna walked up the steps to her home, breath trembling. She placed her hand on

Then I said, "Well, I should head back home. Goodni-"

What I wasn't expecting was the matriarch of the Reynolds family to grab my wrist tightly, and pull me into her house.

"Mrs Reynolds, I really should be going-"

"Just follow me, Diluc." Donna turned red, and led me to her bed.

(WAHOO SEXY TIMES WAAAOW i'm not writing this shit.)

That was when I began to pray. Archons, show me how to say no to this. How do I not know how to say no to this? Barbatos, she looks so helpless. (And her body's saying, "Hell, yes.)

No, show me how to say no to this.

I don't know how to say no to this!

In my mind, I promise you, (Y/N) – I'm trying to go, but all of a sudden her mouth was on mine, and I don't say no.

I couldn't say no.

On my account, I wish I could say that was the last time – I know, I said that last time, but it became a pastime. A month into this endeavor with Donna, I received a letter from a Mr. James Reynolds, even better. It said:

"Dear Sir, I hope this letter finds you in good health And in a prosperous enough position to put wealth In the pockets of people like me down on their luck You see, that was my wife who you decided to-"

Fuuuuuuuu-.

"Uh oh, you made the wrong sucker a cuckold So time to pay the piper for the pants you unbuckled And hey, you can keep seein' my whore wife If the price is right, if not I'm telling your wife."

I hid the letter and I raced to her place. I screamed, "How could you?" in her face, but she said;

"No, sir!"

Donna was half dressed and apologetic: a mess, she looked pathetic, she was crying.

"Please, don't go, Diluc!"

"So was your whole story a setup?" I asked angrily, throwing the letter into her face.

"I don't know about any letter!"

"Stop crying, archons, dammit, get up!"

"I didn't know any better!"

"I am ruined! My career is ruined." I wanted to tear my hair out in that moment.

"Please, don't leave me with him helpless!" Donna was sobbing into my lap.

"I am helpless, how could I do this?"

"Diluc, please – just give him what he wants and you can have me!" I don't want you.

"Whatever you want, if you pay, you can stay! Please!"

Barbatos, show me how to say no to this. I don't know how to say no to this.

But this situation's helpless, right? Who am I to deny a person in need?

"There is nowhere I can go!" Donna cried. I couldn't think straight anymore, and I kissed the girl on my lap.

To tell you the truth, when her body's on mine, I don't say no. I can't say no.

Say no to this, Diluc.

Yes.

"So?" James Reynolds smirked, in my mind. I could picture that gleeful grin of that man when I give him the money.

Nobody needs to know. I'm sorry, (Y/N).

wahoo sorry i put this story on hold for so long!! hope yall enjoyed and dont worry the next part will definitely be better <3 please reblog with tags and comments :") i wont tag this with the astronetwrk tag because this is suggestive ueueue

[apotatomashedbybts]

But You Do...

➡ Pairing: Doctor!Kim Namjoon × oc (Seo Lee)

➡ Genre: fluff, angst, romance

➡ Trope/au: strangers to lovers, slice of life

➡ Rating: NC-17

➡ Triggers/Warnings: Graphic depiction of verbal abuse, toxic family relationships, description of pollen allergy, lots of crying

➡ Word Count: 2.0k+

➡Banner(s): made by apotatomashedbybts

➡ Summary: A simple wish of having a loving family was never so simple for Lee. So when she ran away from that unfulfilled wish she realised that not all wishes are granted the way they are wanted. And sometimes a loving family can be a single person too.

➡ Disclaimer: This fanfiction was originally posted 3 YEARS AGO ON MAY 31, 2019 AT 8:14 PM . The description of the symptoms and effect caused by the allergy and the treatments may not be accurate. The italics indicate flashbacks/past incidents.

➡ Author's note: I have decided to repost my old writings and this one is the first. I am so happy to bring back this one. This story is very much personal to me in many ways. I hope and pray no one is going through such time. And if someone is then please reach out. Even venting about it helps a lot.

I hope you have a good time reading this story. Feedbacks are always appreciated and looked forward to. They make me happy and motivated to write more! If you are shy, my anons are always open!💜🌼

Leaning on the windowpane of the moving bus Lee heaved a heavy sigh and looked out at the blurrily passing by night city. She could sense the uneasy yet surprised stares of the other passengers that were directed towards her. Though feeling uncomfortable she didn't care much. If she was in their place she would have been curious and surprised too, to see a constantly sneezing girl in a white knee-length bridesmaid dress, badly messy hair, red face partially covered by a pollution mask and even redder eyes.

Glancing for the fifth time in the past hour at the board inside the bus - that said about its current position- she grew impatient, but at this moment she needed to stay as calm as possible otherwise her condition would only get worse and thinking that she tried to calm herself down. She reminded herself that time was only relative - the more you wanted it to pass quickly, it gets slower and the more you wanted it to slow down, the faster it passed. She scoffed to herself as this reminded her of a day almost six years ago.

"Mom!!" An excited Lee came jumping into the kitchen, "Do you know that time is a relative unit? It works inversely proportional to the speed that you want it to pass! Isn't it amazing?" She was clearly fascinated at the new discovery and wanted to share it with her mom.

"And where from did you know that?" Her mom asked while kneading dough because Lee's brother wanted to eat pie that night. Lee's eyes sparkled at the thought that her mom was interested so she replied, "I was watching a movie named Lucy! It's so amazing and I learnt so many things."

"So you were wasting your time watching movies? Listen, those bullshit things are never going to help you in your real life! All that matter are your marks! And if you are not studying now then help me with making this pie. All you ever do is waste your time on useless things and pick up bad habits! What am I gonna do with you?"

The enthusiasm that Lee brought with her drained in an instant and quickly replying "Sorry mom.." she started helping her, trying hard not to let her tears fall in front of her mother.

The tears that had started to fall at the playback of the memory brought her back to reality and she glanced once again at the electrical board, relieved that she had only one more stop, to endure the pain, and the stares.

Getting off the bus she opened the Google Maps to search for any clinics nearby - the sneezing and the itchiness were getting intolerable. To her convenience there was a clinic nearby. At the reception she managed to ask about the doctors for allergies amidst her terrible sneezing. The receptionist looked at her with concern and said, "The doctor's shift is about to close but let me check. Please wait while I make the call." She nodded in agreement and looked away at the posters hanged in there to distract herself while tapping her feet impatiently.

"Excuse me!" The receptionist called out after a while. Lee turned her head at that way and pointing to herself asked, "Me?"

The receptionist nodded and said, "The doctor is ready to see you. His room is at the very end in the left wing. Please make your left turn at the very first turning of this passage," and pointed towards a long passage ahead. Bowing at the receptionist as a thanks Lee made her way towards the doctor's chamber.

She gently knocked at the door and a gentle soothing voice answered, "Please come in. The door is open."

As she stepped into the room she could figure out that the doctor had already packed up to close for the day. She was grateful that he agreed to check her up before leaving. He told her to sit down and told her to take the mask off. His soothing expression turned into a worried one as soon as she did what she was told to. He exclaimed, "It seems like you have pollen allergy and you have been holding it for too long! I will give you an antihistamine shot, that'll give you relief." He gave her a gentle smile and went to prepare the shot. Lee looked around while waiting and her eyes landed on the nameplate. "Kim Namjoon" she whispered to herself smiling mildly as she realised the meaning - the name suited his genius looks.

"Are you afraid of injections?" He asked after preparing the shot.

"Not really. I am used to them." Lee answered and then sneezed loudly.

Dr. Kim shook his head slightly and said, "You shouldn't have stayed unchecked for so long. But what's done is done. You will feel better after this." He then applied ethanol at a certain spot on her left arm and pushed the injection.

"I'll write you some medicines. Make sure you take them." Saying this he began writing the prescription with concentration. The shot seemed to do its work and her vision was much clearer than before, so she took this opportunity to observe the person sitting in front of her. She couldn't help but gawk at him - she seldom came across such handsome men. Not long after, she discovered his dimples, and noted in her mind that he was not only handsome but cute too, and his long and beautifully shaped fingers became her instant favourite.

After paying the fees, Lee came out of the clinic and sighed heavily thinking, "What now? There's no going back at this point."

It had been a long day and she never expected that this day would arrive so soon. Although she was glad, somewhat, that she was finally in Seoul, away from her family but still some things made her sad and she couldn't figure out what those things were. She had been preparing herself for this day subconsciously from many days back, and now she had enough money to stay at a cheap hotel until she found an apartment to rent.

She had been giving job interviews secretly online after completing her graduation and she was beyond happy that she got the job in Seoul; pretty far away from her home.

As the medicine worked its way to drive away the temporary sickness, she made her way to get a hotel room.

After checking in, she quickly went in for a bath, leaving her luggages on the bed. As she stood under the cold shower, she could feel the whole day's fatigue wash away little by little. Changing into her favourite pajamas, she called in the room service and ordered some cold noodles and fried chicken; she was starving. The food, she thought as she took in the savoury feeling, had always made her feel content and happy. But her mom had always thought quite the opposite of it. According to her, Lee's loving food was a bad habit, just like every other 'bad habits' she had. Whenever her mom scolded her for being hungry frequently and on the other hand constantly asked her younger siblings whether they were hungry or not, it made her tear up always. As she sat down and ate, she remembered that her family had always had dinner together, no matter what happened. Now that she was alone, she kinda missed the noises but didn't mind because it was somewhat peaceful. Once again her mind raced to the past, three months ago, an August evening to be precise.

"So when are your results coming out?" Lee's mom asked after putting half of a boiled egg in her mouth elegantly while sitting at the dining table.

This was the time of the day that Lee dreaded as well as hated the most. Her mom had a strict rule that everyone in the family should have dinner together. If someone was late, everyone had to wait for that person to arrive so that all of them could spend some quality 'family time'. But at this point, Lee totally doubted whether she was a part of the family or not and also whether this dinner was actually, as mentioned earlier, a family time or 'criticise-Lee-and-praise-others' hour.

"I don't know mom. The university has put up a notice saying that it would be delayed." She replied timidly, measuring every word cautiously, so that her mom wouldn't find anything in those words offensive enough.

But it never actually mattered how much caution she put in choosing the words because after all it's her mom and she would always find something to scold her about.

"What do you mean by the university has put up a delaying notice? Your university isn't that irresponsible! That's why I admitted you there; for your irresponsible self to get at least a little bit responsible! I bet you haven't checked properly. How can a person be so absentminded? " Her mom sighed loudly and continued, "Or is it the other way around? I think they have already published the result and you are not telling me!" Her mom glared at her.

Up until now Lee was swallowing up her words silently because talking back would have only resulted in getting a smack back. But the problem with her was that she had never been good at controlling her rage enough when it came to someone accusing her falsely. Or maybe that rage was just a longbuilt suppressed emotion trying to break free from its confinement.

Keeping the spoon with a loud clinking sound she rose from her seat and said, half yelling and half holding back her tears, "If you distrust me so much then go to my university tomorrow and see for yourself!"

The walk to her room was not easy as her legs felt like concrete, heavy, but she somehow managed to drag herself away. While going back she could hear her mother shouting at her, "How could you talk to me like that? Have you ever seen your sister or brother talk to me like that? You never loved anyone of us! I can sign a bond that one day you are gonna leave us and never look back, ignoring all the responsibilities to your family!"

At this she turned back and with hoarseness permanent in her voice, she replied, "Of course! Isn't that obvious enough? That's what I am going to do! It's not worth it to live here." A drop of tear trickled down her cheek as she choked back the words "all you ever did was hate me. I was never a good child to you as your other children are! I would never be good enough for you."

She slammed her door shut and broke down while sitting and leaning on the door; the tears were unstoppable. She could still hear her mother complaining about her loudly to her sister.

To stop the sounds from reaching her ears, she lied down on her bed with a pillow on her ear and cried until the hiccups made her breathing go hazy, until she fell asleep.

Lee sighed and shook her head to not let the memory dig deeper and decided to stay happy until she finished her food. Turned out that her mom's words became true; she had left her house. She knew that she would do it anyways so she didn't regret it, neither did she feel bad that her mother had 'predicted' so.

By the time she wrapped up, it was already midnight and she was sleepy. Not wanting to ruin the still-happy mood she decided to gulp down the medicines and hop into bed as soon as possible. As thought, so was done.

Nights like those, where she had just cried wetting her pillow, muffling her voice in it so that the scream couldn't come out because she was tired knowing that no one cared, until she fell asleep, were endless and the most painful moments in her life. But tonight was different. It was peaceful and she hoped that the coming nights would be too.

She snuggled closer to the pillow with a faint smile still hung on her lips in the anticipation of the new life she was about to begin and drifted off to sleep quite quickly while hoping that tomorrow would be better.

■□■□■□■□■□■

-> Chapter two

— Ⓒ 2022 apotatomashedbybts, all rights reserved. Reposting or modifying of any kind is not allowed. Translations are not allowed.

[rein4r1]

I’m Getting You Out

Warning/s: Familial Abuse, Implied Depression, Sex, Not proofread

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Smut

Pairing: [MODERN AU] Eren x F!Reader

AN: I’m still practicing on writing smut I promise. English isn’y my first language so...

Eren promises to get you out of that f*cking hellhole

Statistics are numerical figures resulting from research. And statistics show that one in seven children are exposed to abuse at home.

To become a part of a whole is to be subjected in a fractional value in a case of one of many. Just another victim. Just another unfortunate case.

You have wished for nothing more but to be treated as a person, a human being. Society should have spared people like you from becoming into something inanimate. When at home, you are nothing but an object of captivity, breed to become an investment in a capitalistic dystopia.

You grew up feeling nothing but a bruised porcelain doll. They used you, in many ways you couldn’t even count. From being treated as their personal punching bag, to an insurance that is meant to project the contradicting state inside of your home whenever you face your parents’ friends.

Every moment you make is monitored by invisible cameras. That’s why they say the walls have ears, and the ceiling have eyes. Do you even get to decide for yourself? Everything you do has been regulated to their ideals. “It’s because we love you.”

You are nothing but a dumbed down version of a golden child. Used as a puppet, nothing more and nothing less. They do it because they love you. And you believe it.

You have never prayed for anything, God is nothing but a being who abandoned you. But for once in your life, you have never wished for something, and its in a form of a young handsome boy named Eren Jaeger.

The irony of wishing someone you once hated. You hated him at some point, but only because you know what he said about your family is true. That “your family is nothing but leeching bastards who even sucked their child dry.”

Deep down, Eren’s straightforward comment haunted you. And hearing it from someone so transparent, made you anxious. You needed to hear it, but the creeping anxiety says otherwise.

And because you blame yourself for being like this, you hated Eren Jaeger.

Eren was wrong, for saying it straight of the bat. He even got Armin to hit him for saying something overwhelming.

He was wrong for saying it right out of the blue, but what he said is nothing but the unequivocal truth.

He knows your parents, leechers of society. Leeching of his wealthy father. He hated them, but not as much as you do.

He saw you in the winter of his sophomore year in university. There you stood like a statue, with restrained movements. He wanted to hate you too, but seeing that you’re your parents worst victim. Made him see them as devils.

He didn’t pity you, Eren and freedom are one. He believed that you should be free of the cage that reduced you into your parents’ slave. He knows you have your wings, and you can fly. You just need help.

He talked to his therapist once, about a bird with their claws tied. He knows that the only way for the bird to fly is if they used its wings, but he wants to help it destroy its cage.

So he did, the moment Eren decides to become your friend, you felt there was something wrong. Something wrong in the status quo. Like a change in the grand scheme of things. It wasn’t sudden per say, but there is a shift. And you don’t mind it.

Having Eren is like finding comfort in a state of distress, it felt like breathing fresh air in an area saturated with pollution. For you once in your life, you get to feel what freedom is all about. That you get to be unorthodox in a way your parents wouldn’t imagine.

And maybe that’s how you fell in love with him. As much as you believe that God should beg for your forgiveness, you begged him to let you be with the person you love.

The attraction wasn’t one-sided. That the more Eren spent time with you, he gets to be with the you that the universe failed to see. The you who made the mundane things in life enjoyable. The you who’s eyes light up in watching every studio ghibli film. The you who is Eren’s girl. His girl.

You have sought his heart and he is willingly giving you every piece of vulnerability. Because you are the girl that the Eren Jaeger loves.

And now he gets to say it, confessing your love under an oak tree in campus. And he gets to say it to you, whisper it to you in the secluded corner of the library where you get to share kisses in secret.

And he gets to say it out of the blue, when you order your coffee and you ask for his. “Baby, I love you so much.” And every letter and every word never fails to trigger the butterflies.

And he gets to say it with you at night, whenever he sneaks into your room. His touch claiming every piece of your skin. His kisses traveling all over your body. And when he’s deep inside you, he whispers his love to you.

“I love you baby, God I- Fucking love you. Feel so good around me.”

“You’re so- so good to me baby f-fuck.”

And you’re beautiful like this, getting lost in the pleasure he gives you. “Baby please cum for me- baby please.” And you do, he fills you of him straight after, marking you as his with his cum.

You’re his, and he’s yours. Such simplicity in complexity.

Eren is no good person, he knows he would kill for you, set the world in flames for you. But as much as he wants to fall into his instinct, he respects you so much, that he has become your loyal servant. Ready to go to war for you.

That’s why every time he consoles your crying figuring, reasons of what they had done to you, again. Everything turned red, the word “fight” repeating in his head again and again until you begged him to just take you into his arms, and fuck you until you forget the horrors of in the form of the people who gave birth to you.

But on this particular moment, something was off. Seeing the bruises on your skin has completely set him off. God forbids he sees your parents, because he will become a criminal you’ll hate.

But you don’t want him to kill for you, because killing means he’ll be dragged away into some worn down prison, and you fear for him. But you fear for losing him the most.

He place his hands on your cheeks wiling away the tears that continue to betray your godly eyes.

“I promise to get you out of there baby fuck- I PROMISE” And he embraced you once more, because this time he’ll forcefully open the cages to your prison.

He kept his promise, because two days after that, you left everything behind. Destroyed all your photos that tells of your life in this hell. They don’t get to remember who you are. They don’t deserve that.

And from that day, the bird flew with its wings. Claiming back its freedom and happiness. Now with the person you love.

[cotccotc]

♡ 3:24 am ; paranoid

set in the domus amoris universe !

genre/s: comfort, angst, fluff, established relationship/domestic au, hyunjin x gn reader

wc: ~1.6k

warnings: use of petnames (lovey, baby)

a/n: this is based on “paranoid” by lauv :))) it has a similar format to “forevermore” from this series but with a lot more elaboration !! it’s been a bit challenging to think of ways to write for him lately, but this is an idea i’ve had for a while now so... i tried </3 lol. i hope u enjoy it despite the sad bits oops :DDD

‘ smile when you're sleeping

wonder who you're dreaming of ’

he’s always loved watching you as you sleep. if able, he stays up until whenever it might be that you finally drift off. as your hands remain tightly wrapped around his body, your face aglow from the kaleidoscopical light streaming into the bedroom through the blinds, he watches and listens to you breathe. in, out. in, out. your chest inflates and diminishes with each deep, restful breath. your face rests in the palm of his hand. observing you intently, he notices as the corners of your lips begin to curl. a smile. endearing, entrancing… unnerving. he hopes you’re dreaming of something pleasant. something you might share with him come morning. he hopes you’re dreaming of him. he hopes, he prays.

but what if it isn’t? his heartbeat hastens.

‘ after all of these nights, laying right by your side

how could my brain make me feel so far? ’

maybe it’s selfish, he ponders, to be thinking this way. to assume the worst. to wonder if there’s someone you could be fantasizing about that isn’t him. it’s unfair. for all he knows, you could be dreaming of something unrelated entirely. he runs his thumb over your cheekbone, grazing the soft skin on your face with such adoration. such love. like he’s done so many times before. and yet, he believes that you deserve better. more. he always has. and he hates himself for it.

‘ maybe it's a case of paranoia

nervous that i'll never really know ya ’

he believes knows you inside and out; frontways and backways; from top to bottom and everything in between. that’s what you tell him, too. you tell it to him all the time. and he tells you the same. because it’s true. in some ways, you know him more than he knows himself. sometimes, when he’s unsure of who he is, all it takes is one look at you to bring his feet back onto the ground. and yet, in these mid-morning moments, he falls prey to doubt. maybe it’s him. that’s what he thinks. maybe it’s just the way his mind works. almost as if a self-inflicted disease is eating away at his subconscious, doubtful thoughts infiltrating his mind against his will. it’s a consuming feeling.

you let out a bit of a sigh. your eyes blink open, straining to focus on your lover’s face in front of you. he feels terrible for waking you. but you don’t know that.

“you’re awake,” you murmur, voice raspy and quiet. 

“mhm,” he hums.

“why?”

he’s taken aback by the question. unsure of how to respond. you look so adorable to him. heavy-eyed and somnolent. “it’s nothing. go back to sleep,” he says. it’s not nothing. but he’s embarrassed. why is he embarrassed? it’s you. he shouldn’t be embarrassed. and yet, he is.

“are you sure?” you ask, letting out an involuntary yawn. he’s so enamored by you. you don’t even realize it, because how could you? he looks toward you so fondly. with such endearment. he wants to tell you everything that’s on his mind. but he just can’t.

“i’m sure,” he reassures you. he places his hand upon your cheek, holding your face in his hand as if that’s what it was made to do. it always seems to fit so perfectly. he flashes a meek, forced half-smile at you. you know he’s lying.

instead of refuting his response, you decide not to push. you know he has moments of self-doubt and what he would consider weakness. and you know it’s not his fault. more so than anything, you know that you love him. so, you sit up, elbow propped up against the mattress. you turn on the lamp sitting upon your bedside table, illuminating the room with a dim, creamy tint. you rest your hand upon your lover’s chest and lean into him. he brings his hands to cup your face, pulling you closer. you kiss each other tenderly. his lips waltz across yours, just as they always do; smooth, sultry, with a twinge of honey-like sweetness. you love to kiss his bottom lip, gently tugging at it with your own. and you know he loves it too. especially as it prompts him to thread his fingers through your hair, passionately pulling you even closer to him and kissing you even deeper. you sink into his touch. this isn’t lust. it’s familiarity. it’s healing. it’s the only thing that speaks louder than words. it’s love.

he takes a small, shaky breath, breaking away from you. a single tear droplet emerges from the corner of his eye as he looks up at you.

his lip quivers. your heart breaks.

“i love you,” you whisper, swiping the tear off of his cheek. you lay back down beside him, head resting on his shoulder as you caress his face with the tips of your fingers. you place a soft kiss against his cheek, wanting nothing more than to be impossibly close to him; absorbing his emotions and freeing him from whatever might be troubling him.

“i know that…” he trails off, unable to connect his eyes with yours. “but…” he screws them shut, raising his palm to cover them as his lips contort themselves.

he’s crying.

“i know that,” he repeats. but this time, he sounds angry. angry with himself. he knows that you love him. and he’s ashamed that his brain could ever make him think otherwise.

you don’t know what else to do other than hold him, wrapping your arms around his form. “baby,” you mutter, almost inaudibly. a tear of your own taunts your waterline. you hate seeing him like this. especially when seemingly unprovoked. you know he’s been listening to the voices in the back of his mind again. it’s plain to see.

“i just-” he starts, cut off by his own convulsions. in between sobs and shallow breaths, he stammers, “i… i don’t…” when he realizes he’s unable to release a full sentence, his face turning a harsh shade of red and his eyes wired shut, he reaches out to wrap his arms around your waist and pulls himself closer to you. he places his head against your chest. “i don’t know…”

you stay like this for a few minutes. he shudders against you, choked sobs escaping the lips from which he’s always complimented you, called for you, kissed you… it’s painful to listen to. and even more disheartening to see. as he settles down, you continue to stroke his hair, running your fingertips along his scalp to soothe him. he learns to breathe with you. with every inhale, he mimics the feeling. in, out. in, out. though shaky still, his sobs turn to sniffles and his convulsions fade into calm.

eventually, he looks up at you. his eyes are puffy, similarly to the state in which he wakes, though they remain slightly pink-tinted and dampened from the strain of his tears. “i love you, too,” he mumbles. “and i’m sorry.”

“sorry?” you repeat, confused. “lovey...” you tuck a few strands of pitch-dark hair behind his ear. the skin is still red from emotion and embarrassment.  “you have nothing to be sorry about.”

he looks away, shifting around to get even more comfortable against you. his arms are still wrapped around your figure, fingers gently toying with the fabric of your shirt as a means of distraction. after a pause, he continues. “i’m sorry that i get so scared.” he sniffles, drained from weeping so intensely. he sounds stuffy. it would almost be endearing if he wasn’t so distraught.

‘ but baby, i love you

and baby, i’d love to

not be… ’

“it’s not your fault,” you assure him. you know how he feels. with each new day waking up beside him, you’re met with a sense of unworthiness. he’s just so lovely. and he makes you feel like nobody’s ever made you feel before. knowing him and loving him are truly your greatest pleasures in life. sometimes, you even feel selfish for keeping him so close to your heart. it’s as if you hold onto his hands as tightly as you do to prevent him from letting go. as if your grip on his waist whenever he hovers atop your frame is not just an expression of want, but of need. as if at a moment’s notice, he could find someone better than you; someone more deserving of his loving gaze, his angelic laugh, the honor of lulling him to sleep with kisses and reciprocative sentiments of endearment… someone more deserving of the opportunity to love him. still, he feels the same way about you. and you can never quite comprehend the reason why.

“i know. but i wish it would just go away.” he pauses, still fiddling with your top. 

“i do too,” you mutter.

he then sits up, readjusting to lay his head down beside your neck. his hand settles upon your stomach, thumb lightly rubbing your skin through the thin layer of cotton. his lips brush against your neck, barely touching it at all. so delightful. your fingers remain entwined in his lustrous tresses. “promise...” he begins, whispering into your skin before finally pressing his lips against you. his voice ripples through your mind like a wave. he speaks with such purity. such sincerity. such need. “you’ll stay with me.” he breaks away, looking straight into your eyes. you look right back into his.

“i promise.”

“...forever?” he adds, stifling a smile. he has to be sure.

you tease him. “will you stay with me forever?”

he snaps out of his almost-contentedness, a serious expression taking shape upon his winsome face once more. “i promise,” he confirms. “i promise, baby. i will.”

“then i will, too.” you smile, gently pecking his lips with yours. as his eyes flutter open once again, blinking intently, he smiles. a wide-eyed, rosy-cheeked, ever-precious smile. the smile for which your heart beats. the smile that only you can evoke, reserved simply for moments such as these. maybe you do deserve it after all. and maybe, he thinks, he deserves the evocation.

‘ ...paranoid. ’

tags: @stayndays, @hanniiesuckle17, @leggomylino, @freckledberries, @pixielix, @kisskissbanggang, @mr-jisung-main, @childofthecosmos, @changnuggie, @kpopscape, @skzwriternet, @hyunsins, @sleepylixie, @sunshine-skz, @vera-liscious, @moonlit-lixie, @thatrandomoneinthecorner​, @siedhr​​ ( join my tag list !! )

©️ cotccotc 2021 ~ all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.

[zeppelin-and-unicorns]

Black Peonies preview

A/N: This is the first chapter of the J/H soulmate AU fanfic I’ve been working on for a really long time. I do not plan on posting it on AO3 or ff.net for now, because I have yet to finish writing the last couple of chapters.

That being said, I hope you enjoy this sneak peek.

Trigger Warning: Explicit child abuse

Chapter one:

January, 1970

Steven Hyde walked through the dark streets of Point Place alone. Mr. Forman’s brother from Chicago got hurt, and the whole Forman clan went to see him for the weekend, which means that Hyde had nowhere to go.

He stayed with Kelso and Donna for a big chunk of the day, but Bob doesn’t like when Donna has boys over after it was dark out, so he and Kelso had to take off.

He walked Kelso to his home, because Hyde was not in a hurry to get to his own house. It was a Saturday, and Edna tends to go a little crazy on Saturdays, that’s why he would often sleep over at the Forman’s.

He was lucky Bob and Midge made them snacks too, because Edna rarely buys any food for the weekends. She tends to spend the little money they have on booze and drugs.

He spent as much time as possible walking around, trying to avoid going home to Edna, but there wasn’t much he could do, it was very cold outside, and he didn’t have a nice jacket to keep him warm, he needed to go home. It was trashy, but at least there was heat. He hoped Edna would be passed out by now, but he doubted, it was still early.

The minute he reached his block, he sighed. He could already hear the sounds of beer bottles clinking and the voices of his mom’s stoner friends, she definitely was not asleep, crap.

Someone threw a beer bottle at his direction, and the glass shattered all over the shitty pavement. He glanced at the direction the bottle came from, and saw his mother’s laughing figure sitting on the porch. Fucking fantastic.

“Home already, kiddo?” She asked, slurring with her words and blowing the smoke from the cigarette in her hand.

“It’s cold” He shrugged, and tried to get inside the house before his mother would start with her usual drunken ramblings, that usually ended up with her blaming him for her shitty life.

His mother grabbed his arm to stop him and he sighed in frustration.

“You couldn’t have stayed with your friend today?” She asked bitterly

“He’s outta town with his folks” He answered, hoping she would drop it and let him go to his room.

“It wasn’t enough for you to ruin my career, now you have to ruin my weekend too?” She said, puffing out another cloud of smoke

“Believe me, I wouldn’t be here if I had somewhere else to go” Hyde answered 

“Aren’t you a smartass?” Edna taunted him, and laughed slyly.

“I want to go inside, it’s cold” Hyde said simply, if he learned something from all of his 11 miserable years with Edna, is that there was no use in arguing with her.

“I know something that will warm you up in a second” She slurred out and laughed, forcefully grabbing his right hand on her bony fingers and putting out her cigarette on his skin.

He felt his skin burning and tried to pull his hand off her tight grip, the pain brought tears into his eyes and it was almost unbearable. But she held on tighter, pressing the burnt stub onto his skin as she laughed.

"Tears?" Edna mocked at the sight of Hyde's teary eyes "Aren't you supposed to be a tough guy?"

He held himself back. He wanted to tell her to fuck off so badly, but he knew better. If he did, he would have to spend the night wandering the streets, and he wasn't in the mood to freeze to death.

She flicked the bud onto the snow, and finally let go of his hand. The pain didn't go away though, in fact, it got worse. He thanked a God he wasn't so sure he believed in for making Wisconsin winters so cold. He would be able to hide the burn by wearing gloves and ease the pain by shoving his hand onto the snow that probably accumulated by his bedroom's dingy window.

Hyde glanced one last time at his stoned and drunk pathetic excuse of a mother and headed inside the house, holding his right hand on his left one.

Sometimes he wished the soulmate thing wasn't real. He doesn't like the thought of an innocent girl suffering all the pain his mother puts him through.

But he knew better, the universe never cared about his wishes, otherwise he would have a different mother. He just hoped that the girl who had the bad luck of being his soulmate had a strong support system or whatever, because his shitty reality isn't changing anytime soon.

Meanwhile, in Point Place's community theater…

10 year old Jackie anxiously tried to peek through the closed blinds, today was probably one of the most exciting days of her life, she was about to play on her first piano recital ever! She was trying her hardest to not be nervous, because she’s a Burkhart, and Burkhart’s excel on absolutely everything they do – according to her mother. She practiced every day for hours, she wanted to be perfect, because both of her parents promised they’d watch her play today.

“Miss Burkhart, it’s almost time, are you ready?”

“Yes I am, Mrs. Crawford! I have my sheet here with me – even though I don’t need it, just as a precaution” Jackie said excitedly, and her music teacher smiled

“You’re going to do great, Jackie” She said with a small smile “Go wait over there, you’re up next” 

Jackie nodded and went to wait where her teacher indicated. Her heart was beating so fast, and she couldn’t keep the smile off her face. She couldn’t wait to be praised by her parents.

They already missed her dance recital, and neither of them were there when she won the trophy for “Prettiest Ballerina”, but they promised they would attend her piano recital, that’s why she decided she would play one of the hardest songs, so she could impress them.

She knew none of her colleagues had the ability to play this song; most of them were playing “Fur Elise” or “Ode to Joy”. She wanted to be the best, so she chose “Clair de Lune” by Debussy, one of her father’s favorites songs. He likes to listen to it when he’s smoking his cigars, so she made sure to learn just to make him proud.

When she heard Mrs. Crawford calling her name, she’d put on her stage smile, the one her mother taught her so long ago. When she entered the stage, she glanced at the audience, trying to find the familiar faces of her parents. She didn’t see either of them, and she had to repress the urge to cry.

They bailed on her, again. They promised they would make it!

She took a deep breath and saw Martina’s familiar face. She was giving her a sad smile, and Jackie sighed. She likes Martina, but she would never fill the hole left by her mother. It’s not like Martina wants to be there anyways, she only went because she’s paid to do so.

Jackie quickly forced a smile and went to sit at the piano bench. If her parents didn’t want to be there, that’s their loss. There was a good amount of LOPP’s mothers there, she hoped they would tell her mother later how she played beautifully, and her mother better feel bad.

She stretched her fingers the way Mrs. Crawford taught her, and placed the music sheet on its proper place. The second her fingers touched the piano keys, she felt herself relaxing a bit, and when she started to play, she genuinely smiled. The first couple of minutes of the song went smoothly, some people even clapped when she mastered the transition from the slow part of the song to the slightly faster one.

Then she stopped playing, and not because the song was over.

Out of nowhere, she felt a blinding pain on her hand. She whimpered in pain and held her right hand with her left one, tears involuntarily falling from her eyes.

Mrs. Crawford quickly ran to see what was going on with her best student, and she sighed when she saw a black peony forming on the girl’s hand. 

“It’s burning, Mrs. Crawford” Jackie cried, and the older woman placed her hand on her shoulder.

“I know honey, you know what that means, right?” She said, and Jackie nodded.

That means that her soulmate was hurting. Again.

Last week Jackie got a new flower on her shoulder, and the week before that, she felt like someone was slapping her on her face.

Thank God that bruises on the face don’t leave flower marks, otherwise people would see her as a freak, because she feels like she’s being slapped or punched on at least once a week.

Mrs. Crawford guided her out of the stage, and made her sit on a small bench near the dressing rooms. Jackie carefully rubbed her hand, the pain was starting to subside a little, the black peony marking the exact place where it was hurting.

“Do you want to go back and start again, Jackie?” The woman gently asked, and Jackie shook her head.

All she wanted to do was go back home and pray for her soulmate to get the help he needs. She doesn’t know why he gets hurt so often, but she wanted it to stop. For both of their sakes.

[bangcrizpychan]

My Abnormally Large Feelings For You

☆Pairing: shy!Yang Jeongin x popular!Reader

☆Genre: FwUFFY, high school!au, friends to lovers!au

☆Requested: Yes

☆Word count: 1.9k

☆Summary: Jeongin has a HUGE crush on you and although he is incredibly shy, he will do whatever it takes just to capture your attention, and maybe your heart as well.

☞Note: This story will focus more on Jeongin's POV (also, he's so cuuuute in this gif i--)

Jeongin stared at his ceiling, thousand of thoughts running inside of his head. He smiled when you appeared in his thoughts out of nowhere, how can you be so elegant, so beautiful, and adorable all at the same time?

With your hair bouncing and swaying whenever you do even the simplest things, your killer smile that could send him galaxies away, eyes that would disappear and tear up whenever you heard something funny, your laugh that sounds like ang angel singing to his ears, and just everything about you to be honest, it was impossible for Jeongin to get you out of his mind.

Y/n. Even your name is as beautiful as you. Jeongin couldn't stop but cover his face with a pillow to muffle his screams. Why did you have to be so ridiculously perfect?! But the most crucial question was; why is it so impossible for him to have you as his own?

He yelled out in frustration, why did he have to be so shy?! The other guys at school were confident to ask you out, but there he was, hiding in the shadows, only admiring you from afar. He released a defeated sigh and got ready for school, he was excited to see you again but also terrified at the same time.

When he got to his classroom, he noticed that you were not in your seat, of course, prom is only a few weeks away and you were the student council president, certainly, you'd be extra busy than before. He quickly scribbled down something on a post-it note and sneakily put it on your desk, together with your favorite flavored milk that he bought from a vending machine earlier. Jeongin was quite surprised that he was the only one who gave you a gift, normally your desk would be filled with gifts from your admirers but maybe today was different.

"Hey! Who do you think put that milk on y/n's desk?" Jeongin heard Lee Felix, one of your admirers, asked. "I don't know, but he's probably stupid enough to think y/n's going to accept that," Han Jisung, also your admirer, said and laughed.

Stupid?! What was wrong with giving you gifts? They also gave you gifts! But then it struck him, prom is a few weeks away. You were extremely busy and admirers will only add to your stress, Jeongin panicked and tried to retrieve his gift but then the bell rang, he quickly rushed back to his seat, anxiety filling him.

In the middle of the boring discussion, the classroom door suddenly opened and it revealed your shrivelled and distressed face. You bowed and apologized to the teacher who quickly dismissed you and you sluggishly sat down to your seat. Even with your hair tied in a messy bun, bags forming under your eyes, you were still alluring in Jeongin's eyes.

He chewed down his lips when he saw you pick up the milk, you read the note and Jeongin prepared his heart to break in pieces, but it never did. You didn't give the drink to anyone nor did you crumble his note. Jeongin was confused, were you just being nice because you knew it was from your classmate? Were you just waiting for class to end, then you were just going to discard it? You stuffed the note inside your pocket and started writing down notes.

Jeongin watched you when the class ended, his eyed widened when you inserted the straw and drank the milk, you smiled gleefully and headed out with your friends. Jeongin rubbed his eyes and slapped himself repeatedly to see if he was dreaming, you didn't throw it away nor gave it to someone else, also, you kept his note! Which got him a little confused, why would you do such a thing?

Jeongin walked down the halls after he finished eating his lunch, he had given you numerous gifts before, not as extravagant as the others, but a gift is a gift, "does she know that it was from me?"

"Jeongin-a!" He stopped dead in his tracks, he knew that voice way too well. He shakily turned around and saw you in front of him, panting but there was still a smile on your face. He shifted his eyes downward, he was too scared to meet your eyes, that's it, he's done for! You knew it was him that had given the milk, you would no longer want to consider him as your friend. He could feel his heart pounding and your voice was muffled in the background.

"Jeongin-a??" you asked and shook his shoulders a little, he snapped his head up and it was the first time he got to see you up close, you were even more beautiful than just watching you from afar. "I-I'm sorry y-y/n, what d-did you s-say?" Jeongin wanted to slam his head to the wall beside him, his stuttering was definitely not attractive.

You giggled and it sparked something in him, your voice was as melodious as a siren's song, drawing him closer to you. "I asked if you wanted to help the council with the preparation for prom," he nodded and avoided your gaze, "we need help as many as possible, and you're the only one I trust that could do an amazing job." you complimented him, he wanted to ask you to punch him in the guts, just to make sure he was not dreaming, but he figured it would be a little too much.

"What do you say? Would you like to help?" this could be his chance! A chance to get close to you and a chance to finally get rid of his shyness.

"Y-yeah, I'd like to help y/n," you grinned and held up your hand for a high-five, he complied and watched you sprint away, probably back to the council office.

For two weeks, Jeongin helped you and the council with the preparation, he got to know you better and he found out that you were actually quite terrifying when you were angry, he made a mental reminder to never get on your bad side. His shyness around you disappeared little by little, until he could finally crack up jokes and it warmed his insides knowing he made you laugh.

There was only a day left for prom and he cursed himself when he totally forgot to ask you as his date. He was pacing outside the council office, thinking of ways to ask you and praying that you didn't have a date yet at the same time. He swallowed up his fears and gathered the courage to enter the room, he looked around and was glad that you were the only person there.

You looked up from your laptop and gave him a small smile, "hey Jeongin! Can I help you with something?" now is the time, Jeongin, just ask her. He thought.

"I-I was wondering if you could go with me to t-the prom, as my d-date tomorrow," he scratched the back of his head and gave you a shy smile.

Your smile dropped and sadness filled your eyes, "I'm sorry Jeongin but someone already asked me first, and I said yes," Jeongin watched your mouth talk but there was no sound coming out, he was sure you were still explaining and comforting him, but he felt humiliated. He muttered a quick goodbye and ran off, he went to the bathroom and let himself burst into tears.

"If only I was not too much of a coward and asked her when I had the chance," he scolded himself and continued to cry his heart out.

If it was for him, he didn't want to go to prom, but his best friend, Seungmin, convinced him otherwise. "Come on, dude! She's not the only girl out there, and prom is the best thing in high school!" so he decided to go to prom, against his own wishes, just to experience the best thing ever.

------

He was standing by the drinks with Seungmin when you came in, he felt his heart come up to his mouth when he saw you. You were breathtaking! You had your hair in a beautiful braid and you were wearing a simple, yet elegant ballgown, you were glowing, like a sun that brings light to the darkness of the gymnasium. On your right stood Bang Chan, a senior at your school, so he was your date. Seungmin saw Jeongin's sullen look and offered him a glass of punch, "one prom will not end your chances with her," and he knew his friend was right.

But at the moment, he was just happy to see you smiling and receiving a lot of compliments at how beautiful you were. Jeongin avoided you at all cost, just tonight, he wants to stare at you in the shadows, again. The slow dance began and Jeongin watched with pain evident in his eyes as Chan's hands held your hips and yours was wrapped around his neck, he wished that, that was him instead.

He was too occupied with dreaming about you that he didn't notice you walking towards him, Jeongin looked up in surprise when you called his name.

"Can I have this last dance with you?" you asked, a blush kissing your cheeks. Before he could respond, you dragged him to the dance floor and guided his hands to hold your hips. You snaked your hands around his neck as you smiled shyly at him.

Jeongin was too shocked to say anything, it was all too bizzare for him. "I knew," you started, which caused Jeongin to look at you curiously. "I knew it was you who gave me that drink when I was late for our history class." you finished and laughed at Jeongin who had his jaw dropped.

"How did you know?" "I'm also the president in our classroom, silly, I know each and everyone's handwriting." he nodded and stared at you with shocked eyes.

"If I knew you liked me that much to have the guts to give me a gift during my stressed week, I would've confessed to you a long time ago." You giggled and at that exact moment, the world stopped, everyone around you disappeared, it was only you and him.

You bit your lower lip and let out a huge sigh, "I like you Jeongin-a, long before I became president, I've always loved your personality, and I thought if I became popular, you would finally notice me." You confessed, butterflies erupted inside Jeongin's stomach, he couldn't believe it, you liked him first! You were like him, staring at him from afar and just waiting for a chance to confess your love.

"I have something to confess as well," he started and you urged him to continue, "I have an abnormally large feelings for you and I can't believe that I'm here right now, holding you like what I have ever dreamed before."

"You're the light to my darkness and I want you to be mine." Jeongin stared at your eyes, determination written on his face.

"Who said I didn't want to be yours?" you giggled and pulled him closer, hovering your lips on his until he sealed it and kissed you passionately.

Jeongin smiled into the kiss, thousands of tiny electricity sparking a fire within him, you held each other like that, a new-found love story emerged and is waiting to be unfolded.

[punksarahreese]

would you.. maybe write a reesker au where you use the 68. “I don’t need help! I just want the pain to stop!”?? like, Ava is s*icidal or s*lf-h*rming and Sarah is just trying to help but Ava doesn't like to feel "weak"... only if you feel comfortable of course

Uh oh you got it <3

CW: Suicidal themes, self harm, sexual assault mention; this could be majorly triggering so please take care <3

This is from the same universe as this oneshot. Yes Connor is the bad guy but so is Cornelius :/

***

“Sarah?”

The resident looked up at the call of her name, seeing April waving her over. She had been heading to the lounge, intending to grab her bag and pick up lunch on her break. Still, the look April gave her had her a bit worried; the nurse had never looked this nervous before. Deciding her lunch could wait, Sarah crossed the ED and was a bit concerned when April immediately grabbed her sleeve and dragged her to the supply room.

“April, what’s wrong?”

Her friend sighed shakily and Sarah could see that she didn’t know how to say what she needed to. She waited, patiently urging her to tell her, not sure what to expect.

“It’s, uh… Have you seen Ava today?”

“Doctor Bekker? Not today no, why?”

April looked close to tears and that scared her, “She.. um…”

Sarah was not expecting her to hand her her phone, hands shaking more than she had ever seen. The screen was open on a message conversation, the subject of which immediately set anxiety flaring in Sarah’s gut. She must have read the texts five times before replying, trying to wrap her head around what was going on.

“Is she..?” her question died before she could finish the sentence, a billion thoughts rushing through her mind. Is she okay? Safe? Home?

“I don’t know,” April admitted, “She told me something the other day and I urged her to get help but this is… not what I expected.”

“April, what’s going on?”

“I don’t think she would want me to tell you…”

“April,” Sarah grabbed her hand gently and the touch made her make eye contact, “If she’s in danger I need to know.”

Sarah and Ava weren’t too close but they were friendly. They had had many morning coffees together while working with Robin and Ava always had a kind greeting when she passed by the ED. She liked the surgeon, considered her a colleague she could trust, but she never expected this behaviour from her. She also knew she was supposed to be at work today and it was very unlike Ava to miss a day of work, which only amplified the anxiety she felt.

“She… um… It’s about Connor.”

“What about him?”

“He… He’s been hurting her,” April mumbled, “Not physically exactly but… she said he’s been pushing her to sleep with him and being really manipulative. She sounded so scared, Sarah; it didn’t even sound like Ava.”

That sent Sarah’s blood boiling. She knew Connor could be an asshole and had a ridiculous God complex but this was way past what she expected from him. Ava wasn’t one to show fear so if she sounded scared and was confiding in one of the nurses then it must be a big deal. The text conversation was rushing through her mind again, terrified for her colleague’s wellbeing at that point.

I can’t do this anymore, April.

I don’t want to see him ever again.

It hurts too much.

April grabbed onto her wrist, staring at her friend with tearful eyes, “I’m covering for Maggie today, I can’t leave. I’m scared, Sarah, I don’t know what she’s going to do.”

Sarah nodded, checking the time on her watch, “If you cover for me I’ll go check on her, okay? Don’t tell Doctor Charles where I am… Just say I had to go take care of something.”

The nurse sighed shakily, agreeing, “Let me know, okay?”

“I’ll do my best to keep her safe.”

***

Sarah drove to Ava’s apartment purely from muscle memory, having only been there a handful of times. Her mind was racing, praying that her friend was safe until she got there. She didn’t know what to expect, terrified that Ava would do something rash before she could talk her down. Sarah wanted to think that Ava wouldn’t do it, part of her saying that the surgeon was way too smart and level-headed to do anything permanent. Still, the texts she sent April and the things she had told her Ava said made her think otherwise. The other woman was clearly terrified and in pain and Sarah genuinely wasn’t sure what she would be capable of in that mindset.

Sarah knew her apartment door would be locked and she was sure that Ava wouldn’t unlock the door if she was preoccupied or upset. Luckily, she knew that she kept another key taped onto the inside of her mail slot, which gave her some hope that she would get to Ava in time. She did still knock, calling out to her and waiting for a moment. When she didn’t hear a reply or footsteps after five minutes, Sarah knew she couldn’t risk waiting any longer.

“Ava, I’m coming inside!” she called out again as she wrestled the key from its hiding spot and unlocked the door. She slipped into the apartment, finding the immaculate kitchen and living room to be spotless and void of any sign of the surgeon. She felt her anxiety rise as she walked down the hallway, flinching when she heard a familiar voice muttering to herself, tone thick with what Sarah could only describe as agony.

“Disgusting…” Ava was saying from inside the bathroom, “How could you let this happen again? Why did you do this?”

“Ava?” Sarah nudged the bathroom door a bit so it swung open partially, her words catching as she happened upon the sight in front of her. Ava was in the bathtub, in her scrubs as if she had completely planned to go to work that day. She had a loofa in her hand and was scrubbing aggressively at her arms, which were covered in open wounds and bleeding heavily with each movement. Sarah wanted to cry at the sight, realizing her friend hadn’t acknowledged her presence yet because she was stuck in her own head.

“Oh my god, Ava…”

The surgeon finally did look up at her, cheeks stained with mascara and tears, “Go.”

“No,” Sarah was on the floor beside the bathtub in seconds, trying to keep both of them calm, “Ava, you need help.”

The blonde shook her head aggressively, her curls bouncing, “I need to get rid of him,” she continued scrubbing her skin raw as blood mixed with the bath water.

“What happened?”

“Men,” she spat tearfully, “All they do is take and destroy. I can’t believe I fell for this again. I can’t… why did I let them touch me again, Sarah?”

“Who, Ava?” she asked gently, trying to approach the situation gently. She wanted to keep her talking, keep her distracted so she could reach for the scalpel balanced on the edge of the bathtub. The blade was bloodied and evidence of its razor sharp cuts littered Ava’s body. While her chest was still covered by her scrub top, her legs were bare in the water and her thighs bore just as many cuts as her arms, if not more. This was bad, Sarah knew it was bad, and she didn’t know how long Ava would have lasted if she hadn’t arrived when she did.

“Connor… Cornelius… m-my dad…”

The words had the blonde shaking again, the sponge back to tearing at the surgically precise slices in her skin. The water was almost completely opaque and Sarah knew her cuts were too deep for her to stay there, she needed medical attention and stitches, sooner rather than later if they were going to avoid a major transfusion. This was horrible, worse than Sarah had thought. She didn’t want to press her, didn’t need to bring up the trauma now, but she could only assume the worst. April had said Connor hadn’t hurt her physically that she knew of but Sarah was totally blind to what had happened with his father or Ava’s.

“Ava… I’m so sorry,” Sarah murmured, “It’s not your fault.”

“I l-let them…”

“No, if you said no then you didn’t. If you revoked consent at any point then they should have stopped.”

She looked up at Sarah, eyes unfocused as if she couldn’t force herself to look at her properly. She was lightheaded, losing her alertness, Sarah could tell the lack of blood was getting to her.

“I can’t get clean,” she interrupted herself in a heart wrenching sob, “I s-still feel him… everywhere.”

“Ava, come here,” Sarah offered her a hand carefully, “We’ll go to med and get you cleaned up, okay?”

“No!” her screech was bloodcurdling and she was immediately drawing away from her colleague, “I c-can’t… he- He’s there, no. I can’t see him again.”

Sarah tried to hush her, apologizing softly, “No, he won’t be allowed near you. I can even ask Kim to come stand outside your room, okay? He’ll never touch you again.”

“No… no no no.”

“Ava, you need help; let me help.”

Ava was shaking her head fiercely, the sponge dropping into the reddened water, “I don’t need help! I just need… I need the pain to stop!”

Before Sarah could even blink she was scrambling for the scalpel, bloodied hands gripping the thing shakily. She didn’t listen to Sarah’s pleading and just swatted her hands away, pressing the blade to her neck just enough for a red mark to become readily visible.

“Ava, no. Please,” Sarah was crying, begging her to stop. She knew if she tried to grab at the thing the surgeon would only slice through her carotid before she could stop her. She had never been in a situation like this before, not with someone actively threatening her life. She remembered the aftermath of Jason’s death, the evidence of his end all over the sidewalk. That had been hard enough, knowing she hadn't been there for him when he needed someone the most. If Ava did it now, when she was right there, Sarah wasn’t sure how she would react.

“I can’t do this, Sarah…” she was still sobbing, blade pressed to her skin a bit harder, “My life is ruined.”

“No, it’s not. Ava, please.”

Ava pointed to the toilet, making Sarah turn to see what she was shakily gesturing to. Balanced precariously on top of the lid was a piece of plastic and Sarah could see two more in the trash can. The doctor in her knew what it was immediately but she didn’t want to believe it, didn’t want it to be real for Ava’s sake. Upon further inspection, she saw two little pink lines on the thing, finally cluing in to what was going on. She wanted to cry even more, her heart breaking for Ava. She didn’t know if it was Connor’s or Cornelius’, didn’t want to ask, just knew that neither option would be good.

“I-”

“I’m s-sorry, Sarah…”

Before Sarah could even properly react, before her eyes even caught sight of the motion, her ears were filled with a cry of agony. She couldn’t reach Ava fast enough, the scalpel doing its job too well as it slid easily through the skin on the left side of her neck. Sarah screamed, she must have because her throat ached immediately, but she barely heard it. Her hand was pressed to Ava’s wound immediately, hands scrabbling to grab at any towel or fabric nearby. She was crying so much she couldn’t see, vision cloudy as she tried to staunch the flow of blood from the wound. She was pleading with Ava, begging her to stay with her even though deep down she knew she wouldn’t be able to. A part of her wished she would fall unconscious, not wanting her to experience such pain, but that would be worse. She knew she screamed for help and then yelled at her siri to call 911 because she couldn’t fish her phone out of her pocket with one hand. It was all so fuzzy, her memories clouded by pain and fear. She was trying so hard to stay focused, to save Ava, but she was shaking so badly she just wanted it to end.

I just want the pain to end.

[heartxclouds]

Diabolik Lovers: Wrong Blood-Prisonned Bridal;;Part 1

[C]♡. Hello! Welcome to this blog..

This is my first try on writting my DL AU, which is called Wrong Blood-Prisonned Bridal if you are new to it! I think that I am experienced enough in writting so this is why I took the courage to write it! I do hope that you enjoy and follow the instructions clearly because yes, I have a rules in here- It isn't forced but you still need to view the rules. 📄

Rules;; {+ Instructions}

If you click on a OST link, you can hear the music ^^

When something is written in italic, it means that it's a wisper.

I would appreciate it if you have enjoyed the story, that you comment or like! Like that it makes me want to continue! If you need to give me constructive critism please send me a PM (Private Message).

In here there will be some spooky things so if you dislike that a lot, please proceed with caution. PS: Niko is a gypsy, that isn't meant as a slur. Niko is a girl that travels, does fortune telling and dances. So don't worry. I'm not here to offend.

If you see a edit with subtitles, read the subtitles! And if you can't see a image clear? Click on it!

Some edits are old or come from friends! I will credit them don't worry, they will be credited in the section 'Information'. And for the old edits, I'll put old in the end of the post in section 'Iformation'.

Thank you for reading the rules! I hope you enjoy this now. 🎃🍂

...

It was afternoon, at this time.. Many kids were playing. Screams of joy because of hide and seek, sometimes pain because they fell and even tears or joy because they were laughing so much. But there was one little girl that wasn't in the mood for playing. She would rather read books at this time of the day, she had secretly picked out some books out of the small library of her mother. Vampires..What were they? Monsters- Bloodsuckers- Creatures of the night... The little gypsy girl was amazed by these stories but also terrified. Welcome to the world of the small Niko Riverdale.

Winter.. It was cold but fun, Niko turned six years old not long ago. She felt like she could be a adult any second. Niko loved to play as the little adult.. But to be honest, it was scary. People always had some type of disgusted look when they spotted a gypsy, and it was like this everywhere. But on the possitieve side.. Some people could be nice and accept them, even enjoy they're dances. A gypsy was never meant to have a bad view.. Being a gypsy was seen as some kind of culture too. The priest always said that God hates gypsy's.. That if you were one, that a spirit will haunt you.. Kill you.. Destroy you. All kids from Niko's age knew the dark reality already, God? Hah.. When did God help? That's what they were thinking.. But Niko thought otherwise, she believes that God is good.

-"Mom.. Why do people hate us?"

Niko was holding the hand of her mother while they were walking back home. Reading hour was finished and Niko had hidden those vampire themed books in her bag before her mother got to see it.

-"Ah.. Don't worry about that honey.. You know.. In this world there are people that can hate you without a good reason.. That is why we need to be strong."

Her mother had felt some un-easy feeling.. Excactly, why did people hate them? She didn't know the answer herself... She held the hand of her daughter slightly tighter, they would go to the cathedral before getting back home. She entered the building and went to the small praying spot that was there. She looked at her daughter, she would need to pick a different one.. Niko went to the Maria statue that wasn't too far away from her mother.

-"My God.. I'm here to ask you questions.. I hope that I don't bother you at this moment but..Do you hate me? Or my mom..? My gypsy people..? You know.. Today some kids didn't want to play with me.. They're parents didn't want that.. Even if it was my birtday.. Hmph.. And God, I'm 6 years old now.. That's a lot, right? Hehe.. Will you please answer me..? I now pray this in the name of our saviour. Amen.."

Niko did the quick cross sign before walking back to her mother, that seemed to have finished her praying. Niko held the hand of her mother.. Did God hear her? Will she get the message..? Who knows.. Maybe God, had a surprise.

After getting home, having dinner and having a bath.. Niko was relaxed and ready to read some more about the nocturnal horror creatures.. Curiousity really killed the cat.. And Niko was clearly the cat in this example. The moon was up.. The beautifull blue moon that shinned in Niko's room, Niko could observe those beautifull night skies forever.. She didn't realise that is was already 2 AM, Niko would be in trouble if her parents found out that she was still up.

{[OST|https://youtu.be/9xWi_RkqYiM]}

But strangely a sound ruined the silence.. Crying.. Rather disturbing. A fenale voice? Calling out for help but it all sounded like a echo. For a kid this could be creepy looking, but for Niko.. She was worried.. Not about that sudden visit in her house of a crying voice but she was actually concerned about the feelings of the person.. Did they need to escape? Was there a killer outside? No.. Not at all. Niko got out her room and walked down the hallway.. The wood plancs made a creak sound. The more Niko approached.. The more the crying became louder. She could see now.

A woman with pretty long white hair was sitting on her knees on the floor. Her clothing was white too- She also had some kind of long blue see-through scarf, she also had white gloves, pretty ones that people always wore when they were from a rich family.. Her skin was pale, as pale as porcelin.

-"Umm.. Miss..? What's wrong? What is happening..? Are you hurt..?"

Niko was a child with good manners but it was kinda weird.. How did that woman come in? The door was locked, the windows too.. Who was this woman? Or what is she? The crying didn't stop but when Niko placed her hand on the shoulder of the beauty, then she turned around and held Niko's shoulders tightly.

-"Where is h-he?! WHERE IS HE?! I NEED HIM-?! MY CHILD.. HAVE YOU SEEN MY CHILD?! AHHHH!!!? I WANT HIM BACK! I WANT HIM BACK?! HE NEEDS TO BE FIXED.. HE NEEDS TO BE HAPPY!! WHERE IS HE?! AHHH?!!?? TELL-?! TELL MEEEE AAHHHH!?!"

Niko felt paralyzed.. A random woman just came here and was finding her child.. Her child is broken? He needs to be fixed? That woman didn't look normal at all either.. She was way too pale for a human being.. It was dead skin colour.. She had long fangs too.. And also you could see through her..? A ghost-? A spirit?! Niko's eyes were tearing up- God, can God explain?! Why don't Niko's parents hear this?! Was she crazy?! Niko just got out the grip and ran to her room and locked it, she got on her bed and hid under the covers.

-"God please.. Make it stop.. Make it stop.. I'm scared.. Don't give me to Satan.. Not the devil, I beg you.. Do you hate me? Is this my curse now?"

This was a bad experience for a child, it could be traumatizing.. Niko was praying for this to stop, but then she heard the loud banging against her door- She was screamed.. The woman was still crying and screaming.

-"FIX HIM?! YOU CAN FIX HIM!! FIND HIM!! YOU MUST FIND HIM!?? DO IT PLEASE!!!"

Niko hugged her knees, she was way too scared to say anything or open the door. Niko cried in her sleep.. In the background she could still hear the crying.. The crying of a female vampire ghost..

...

[{OST}|https://youtu.be/NvMROvgMOz0]

[C]...

It was night time, a few nights have passed since that incident and that woman always kept her awake- Screaming and crying.. Niko was hidding under the covers- Hoping that it would stop soon. She held her bunny plush close, it was a white bunny with red buttons as eyes.. It clearly was a old design, but she loves it. The banging on the door soon stopped.. But it replaced with a wisper. Was Niko getting crazy? Hearing wispers in her head.. That made Niko just hug her plush tighter.

-"Go to the forest.. In the forest you'll find a mansion.. I need you to fix him.. Please"

Niko looked down- She letted out a sigh.. Even if her parents forbid her to go out at night- She would do it- Like that the nights without sleep will stop..Maybe. Niko puts on her small brown boots and then got out the house after grabbing her plushie and wearing a yellow jacket, it matched her eyes perfectly. Now, Niko got in the dark forest.. Why did she forget the flashlight?? She hugged her plush tighter.

-"It's you and me mister carrots.. We will finish this.."

You could hear in Niko's voice that she was scared- She planned to get back home and get the flashlight.. But it already was too late- Her house wasn't visible anymore. Was she lost-? Niko started to tear up, she felt stressed and she could sense that there was danger close by. Niko didn't trust the sound of breaking twigs and leafes that were being crushed.. Without further hesitation, she started to run- She didn't care that she could see nothing- Her mind told her to run. And she was lucky that she started running now, because the hungry wolves were out now, howling and groaning, they wanted the eady prey that was there now.. And the prey was Niko. A girl her size and her age was as easy as catching a mouse.

{ [Wolf howling|https://youtu.be/66HKBdZe_WA]}

-"HELP!! PLEASE SOMEBODY!! WOLVES!! HELP!!"

Niko was screaming while running- But nobody was there to save her- But God must have heard her wish.. The mansion- It was there- Right infront of her! Niko quickly openned the door and got in. She heard the wolves outside, they were howling and sniffing where she was hidding. There was a moment of silence soon.. Were they gone? Niko peeked through the window to see if those carnivores were still there and it seemed that they dessapeared.

-"Hehe!! No dinner for you guys!"

Niko giggled happily, she was happy to stay alive- But soon after her short victory dance, she felt something.. No.. Someone behind her- She gulped and then slowly turned her head to see a tall man.. His eyes were some type of dark pink and his hair was purple- He also was wearing glasses. Niko stepped back as her eyes were wide from how scared she was- Will he hurt her..?

-"Entering the house of someone like that is really dissrespectfull. You need to learn some manners."

The male was getting straight to the point- His expression was serious and he clearly wasn't happy with Niko's action from before. Niko quickly openned the door and ran out- This was unexpected. She never knew that someone lived there.. No wonder that it looked so clean.

The man with glasses sighed as he watched a albino with the corner ofhis eye.

-"Oh.. So you did decide to come for dinner. I am waiting for your apologize. The dinner is cold and everyone is back to their rooms."

The purple haired man walked away, slightly annoyed. He puts his gloves on in a more comfortable manner as he was walking. The albino narrowed his eyebrows as he gave off a 'tch' noise, he just got back from the garden not long ago. Who was that girl though? How did she find this hidden mansion? He wondered.. But he won't think about it too much. He went to the dinning room.

Meanwhile, Niko had ran away from the mansion.. Fear was described in her eyes. But then- Her house, she saw it.. And yet, she didn't run far away from the mansion. Magic? How? She turned around.. Only trees were seen. How in the world? The small brunnette ran quickly to her home and her parents waited for her.. Crying tears of relief and ordering her to never ever do that again but.. Will she keep that promise-?

✧.*ೃ༄9 Years later...

The sound of the flutes and tambourines filled the streets, the gypsy's were there.. And it seemed that Niko and her sisters were the ones to dance. The same thing happened once again, for some the disgusted look and for some others there was the look of enjoyement. The gypsies how flexible and gracious moves- They always had a beautifull performance in mind. After the dance performance, niko and her sisters earned some money.. They will use this for food and clothing... And for Niko's mother, Rei. She was doing fortune telling to get money for the small house that they have.

The golden eyes of the brunnette spotted a animal..A cat..A white one to be specefic. She stared at it for quite a while- The cat looked at Niko and purred before walking away. Niko sighed a bit as she furrowed her eyebrows. Then Niko realised that her siblings were already going back home- She better quickly catch up with them.. Niko openned the door of the house and watched her father, he was laying on his usual dark blue couch.. She sighed and went to him, seeing that he was sleeping for bow. Niko smiled softly and puts a blanket over her father.. You could sleep better if you were cozy and warm. Niko remembered that she needed to handle something quick- She went to the door and openned it.

-"Where are you going?"

Her big brother John saw that she was planning to leave..Even if it was almost dinner time. He placed the wood in the fire, it was spring and yet it felt like it was still winter.

-"I'm going to the church.. I'll be back home soon though, see ya..!"

Niko got out once more and step by step made her way to the holy building..To be honest, the church was scary.. All dark colours and paintings of suffering- Even some god statues were scary. But Niko always felt much calmer when she saw the Maria statue. She closed her eyes and held her hands together.

-"God.. It is already nine years and three months that this ghost is haunting me.. The cries, they scare. Please help me..Give me a sign to freedom. In the name of our saviour. Amen.."

Niko could not live forever with this kind of ghost that visits her each night. Each time begging to save her child more specefictly her son.. What was this all about? She letted out a sigh- A sad one.. A concerned one. Was this all in her head? Was Niko getting crazy? Her parents and siblings didn't realky believe her.. Her mother did but she didn't know what to do. She rubbed her forehead and just went back home after doing the little cross sign. Niko really believed that god exists.. That someone is watching you.. Sins, Actions, Desires..Wishes. It was scary and yet so releaving in her opinion. After having dinner and a family talk, it was time to prepare for bed. Niko took a shower to refresh herself, she brushed her teeth, got in a fresh nightgown and then finnaly got in bed.

{ [OST|https://youtu.be/aG-39UWA4u0]}

Niko knew what will be going on tonight, she just hoped that it will stop. Each time, she repeats that hope. 12 pm.. It's almost time, Niko's eyes stayed open- She probably won't be able to sleep this night again. This was a punishement.. Was it really though? Niko didn't know but it was horrible to go through.

-"Go..Go.. Go back to the mansion.. He needs you.. You need to make him happy. Please. That's my only wish.."

-"W-Why can't you just leave me alone?"

-"Go..Go.. Go back to the mansion.. He needs you.. You need to make him happy. Please. That's my only wish.."

This repeated over and over again. Niko tried to get a other answer but it still was the same the "Go..Go.. Go back to the mansion.. He needs you.. You need to make him happy. Please. That's my only wish.." was always repeating. Niko had enough, she will go back there, early in the morning to not get wolves or other wild animals after her.

And she really did this plan. In the morning, around 5 am, she got up and got in her red gypsy dress and she wrapped a yellow scarf around her waist, she also puts on her yellow bandana after that she had brushed her long brown hair. She took a quick toast from the kitchen and frowned. She will return back home like last time, she was sure that it would happen as planned.

-"Let's get done with this"

Niko mumbled after getting out and going to the forest. Niko could see now where she was going. It wasn't dark, it was sunny already. The brunnette tried to find the mansion, but it was nowhere to be seen. It really annoyed her, she wanted to not be haunted by that woman anymore, she didn't want to struggle anymore with it. This was going to be the end. Did she really need to wish for the mansion to appear out of nowhere??

Niko ran through the bushes but that caused her to trip, she shook her head and got up after wiping some of the dirt away. But then.. When she lifted her eyes back up to normal. It was there- The mansion that she searched for for hours long. Niko stepped towards the gates-

Niko gulped when the gates went open on it's own. This was..Magic? No way. She must be dreaming. Niko slapped her cheeks with her hands.

-"Gah.. Niko-chan.. Wake uppppp..! Owie-"

Niko stopped slapping her cheeks and took a big inhale before taking the courage to enter the territory of the mansion. A certain stress overwhelmed Niko, it was uncomfortable... As if she was going in some type of haunted mansion. The crows were watching Niko, some letting out their loud bird noises.. These type of birds were mostly around graveryards. Which made this give more of a creepy atmosphere. Niko knocked on the door and waited- She learned last time that shouldn't just enter a house/mansion out of nowhere.. But hey she had no other choice. Niko saw that the door openned.. But weirdly nobody was behind it. Anyone would be running away from this already..No? Niko would have loved to do that but she really wanted to get the spirit away from her. So- Niko got in and looked around..

-"Helloo?? Someone here..? Uh.."

{[OST|https://youtu.be/_iF7lkXKHlA]}

Niko wanted to check first of course. And yet, there was no reply.. Maybe they weren't home? The brunnette wanted to know what the woman meant. 'Make him happy' 'Fix him' 'He needs you', her only wish. The spirit meant a person? Of course- Niko facepalmed. The brunnette still felt that same uncomfortable feeling, that feeling of being watched. This place wasn't safe.. It wasn't safe at all!! Niko had shivers running down her spine. Blood.. Blood running down the walls, Niko's visions made her think that.. This mansion.. It had bad secrets.. Secrets that nobody should ever know about.

Run..

Niko's mind kept telling her to run. Run for your life. Run for you freedom before-

Niko had ran back to the front door, it won't open?! No no- This wasn't the plan. God, what did Niko end up into?! Tears ran down her cheeks as fear took her over once more, was she trapped? Was this a prank??

Niko felt a hand on her shoulder.. She hesitated to look behind, but after some seconds she did. A albino man, right there..Glaring down at her with his intimidating look. Niko could not take it anymore.. She fainted. The man catched her in time and groaned.

Run for your freedom before it's too late..

It's too late...

He snarled when he saw her exposed neck with her black chocker necklace. He seemed to hold back something- He seemed to control it for now. The man openned his lips to speak out his words;

End of episode 1... 🍂

Information section:

Time taken: Started on 6 oct 2020- Finished on 14 oct 2020.

Credits;; Story (@me); Edits (@Me) Niko at the gates (Old edit)

I hope that you enjoyed! And I also hope that you would like to follow my journey of Wrong Blood!

See you soon... 🎃

I had posted this long ago but I wanted to share it here too♡

[ibijau]

Burn it down AU // on AO3 // extras on AO3

During the Sunshot Campaign, Nie Huaisang kissed Lan Xichen

warning for nsfw <3

Nie Huaisang is not, has never been, will never be a warrior, and for the first time in his life he’s starting to regret that. It is hard, being left on the sidelines when everyone else is on the battlefield, bleeding and dying for their right to live free. 

It’s not that he doesn’t try to help. The Cloud Recesses act as a secondary base, a place to send the wounded once they can be transported. It is also understood that if the Unclean Realm falls, it is in Gusu rather than Lanling that the enemies of the Wens will retreat, since its isolation puts civilians less at risk (since, also, Lanling Jin cannot be trusted and is likely to change side if the war takes a bad turn). That means preparations have to be made, provisions secured, defences prepared. Nie Huaisang isn’t good at much, but he’s good at math and at begging, so he helps secure some deals with local merchants and makes sure Gusu Lan doesn’t overpay those resources it desperately needs. He also watches over the juniors whenever he can. 

The younger ones are terrified and don’t understand why, after having their homes burned, they’re now abandoned by their families. The less young ones, who understand what a war is, keep saying they want to fight as well, to get just revenge for everything the Wen have done to them. They’re just… they’re babies, because anyone older than fifteen is already on the frontline since they’re desperate for manpower, and yet if they weren’t Lans, if they didn’t respect authority so much, Nie Huaisang knows some of them would have run off to join the war.

He knows also that they look down on him for being here with them rather than dying in battle with everyone else. They’re too polite to say it, but after all, Nie Huaisang is the only person of fighting age in all of the Cloud Recesses, alongside Lan Qiren who at least has the excuse that somebody needs to be supervising everything.

Nie Huaisang has written to his brother, asking if he really can’t be of more use on the field, or at least in the Unclean Realm. Nie Mingjue’s short, angry answer ordered him to stay where he was since he’d be useless anywhere else.

Some days after that letter, worrying news arrived from the front. A small troop led by Lan Xichen had been attacked. No survivors were found.

Not everyone was found dead either, of course. A good half of those cultivators are just missing, Lan Xichen among them. They could have fled and be hiding until they can safely regroup with everyone else. They could have been taken prisoner, too, and that’s…

Nie Huaisang has helped treat former prisoners rescued from the Wens. Usually, the best that can be down for them is to help them pass away quickly and painlessly. To imagine Lan Xichen like this, broken and bruised beyond recognition, is just unbearable. Nie Huaisang almost wants to pray to the gods for his friend’s death rather than to think of him in the hands of those dogs.

Guilt and fear haunt Nie Huaisang as he tries to write to a money lender on behalf of Lan Qiren, begging for a delay to repay what is owed, explaining that the war, while longer than expected, will soon draw to an end and allow Gusu Lan to settle its debts.

This is the third time he’s rewrite that letter.

He’s going to need a fourth one because again he foolishly allowed himself to think about Lan Xichen, and so again he’s started crying, ruining his careful calligraphy. He scolds himself for that. Paper is precious, like everything else in these trying times, and yet here he is wasting it.

A knock on the door startles him. It’s unusual for anyone to come bother him when he is in this abandoned servant’s bedroom that he’s claimed as his office. The juniors don’t seem to have figured out he hides here, and Lan Qiren deals with him as little as he can. He scrambles to his feet and rushes to the door, only for it to open before he can touch it.

Lan Xichen smiles at him.

“There you are, Huaisang,” he says, warm and gentle and alive.

He’s alive.

He’s alive.

Lan Xichen is alive and Nie Huaisang, like the fool he is, can’t stop new tears from falling down his cheeks.

Lan Xichen makes a concerned noise and brings a hand to Nie Huaisang’s face, gently cupping his jaw and brushing away the wetness with his thumb.

“Huaisang, were you worried about me?” he asks softly.

The hand touching Nie Huaisang’s face is rougher than he’d have expected, befitting someone so adept with weapons and instruments alike, but it is also more gentle than he’d have dreamed of. Warmer as well.

What really breaks Nie Huaisang though is the concern on the other’s face, as if Lan Xichen were the one to have done something wrong. As if he hadn’t been fighting for everyone’s lives while Nie Huaisang hid like a coward.

“Of course I was worried!” Nie Huaisang sobs, overcome by relief and guilt and other emotions he’s in no state to name. “I thought you were… I feared you were…”

“But I’m not,” Lan Xichen replies. “I’m here with you, see?”

He’s here indeed. He’s here and alive, he doesn’t even look harmed, just a little tired, and Nie Huaisang is so happy, so relieved, that he can’t think straight anymore.

Lan Xichen is alive.

So Nie Huaisang kisses him.

It’s just a peck, so quick that Nie Huaisang can barely feel whether Lan Xichen’s lips are soft, if they are cold or warm. As soon as he realises what he's done, Nie Huaisang tries to pull back. 

Tries. 

Lan Xichen's hand, still cupping his jaw, slides toward the back of his neck and curls there, keeping him from escaping. And then there's the intensity of his gaze, freezing Nie Huaisang in place, making it hard to breathe even because those dark eyes are burning right through him. 

"Huaisang," Lan Xichen whispers, almost reverently. "Really ?" 

A nod. That's all Nie Huaisang can manage. He's not even sure what question is being asked exactly, but he's sure the answer is yes. He did just kiss Lan Xichen. He is aware how stupid it was. He is in love with Lan Xichen, even if he never realised it until almost too late, until that messenger told them Zewu-Jun was missing and something in him broke. 

He's ready for anger, or disdain, or most cruel of all pity. 

What he's not ready for is Lan Xichen leaning down toward him, slowly, as if to give him time to protest before their lips meet again. 

Lan Xichen's mouth is soft, and warm, and hungry in a way Nie Huaisang would never have expected from someone so calm and collected. It makes him feel weak, forcing him to cling to the lapels of the other's robes to stand upright. He gasps when Lan Xichen's other arm wraps around his waist, pulling him closer until they are flushed together while a tongue hesitantly licks inside his mouth. 

Nie Huaisang moans, pressing himself harder against Lan Xichen, dizzy from a sensation unlike anything he's ever known. Dizzy from lack of air as well, perhaps. When they separate they are both breathless, panting against each other's mouth. Nie Huaisang’s face, no, his entire body is burning and impossibly aware of all the place Lan Xichen is touching him. 

Half an hour ago he was feeling bold for thinking of Lan Xichen as his friend, and now… 

"Let me kiss you again," Lan Xichen pleads, tightening his grip on him, as if it's hurting him to leave any space between them. 

Rather than to answer, Nie Huaisang takes the initiative this time, pressing their lips together once more, so giddy he could laugh or cry. He can’t get enough of this, the closeness, the tenderness, the way Lan Xichen holds him like he’s the most precious thing in the world, the friction of their bodies growing more heated with each new kiss.

It might be him that makes them sit down, or it might be Lan Xichen. It makes no difference, the result is the same, Nie Huaisang half on the other’s lap. Before long that’s no longer enough, there’s too much space between them which is unacceptable.

It is definitely Lan Xichen who rearranges their position so he’s on his back with Nie Huaisang above him, nestled between his legs, bodies flushed together and writhing together as their kissing resumes. He’d be mortified about getting hard if he couldn’t feel a similar reaction from Lan Xichen.

This is… it’s a terrible idea, even Nie Huaisang isn’t stupid enough to believe otherwise. It’s a terrible idea, and it’s a wonderful one, and he just can’t stop what’s happening, not when Lan Xichen clings to him with such sweet desperation while pressing open mouth kisses to his jaw and neck, not when there’s a burning fire coiling in his guts and he has to bite back embarrassing whimpers. It doesn’t take long for Lan Xichen to tense under him with a sharp, strangled cry and in turn this, the knowledge that he’s made this happen, is enough to send Nie Huaisang over the edge as well.

For a moment they lay like this, still clinging to each other. Lan Xichen can’t seem to stop himself from petting Nie Huaisang’s hair and pecking gently at his face until Nie Huaisang is smiling so wide it nearly hurts.

He wants to laugh.

He does.

Lan Xichen throws him a curious look but doesn’t seem upset by that sudden hilarity. 

“I’m just happy,” he giggles, stealing a quick kiss. 

“I’m happy too,” Lan Xichen replies, kissing the corner of his lips a little clumsily. “I never thought it was possible to be so happy.” 

Nie Huaisang grins and properly presses their lips together. The earlier urgency and heat are gone, replaced with something softer. They really should talk about what happened, about what’s going to change now, but it’s so nice to be kissing Lan Xichen, it is the nicest thing in the world. After everything awful that has happened in recent month, Nie Huaisang feels he deserves to just feel nice and happy for a moment longer. After the next kiss they’ll talk he keeps telling himself, until somewhere in the distance a bell rings, startling both of them as they realise it’s now night around them, and this is the call to dinner.

“Uncle is going to kill me,” Lan Xichen gasps, hurriedly sitting up, nearly knocking off Nie Huaisang as he does so. “I told him I’d just say hi and return quickly to discuss everything that has happened. He’s going to be furious.”

“Sorry,” Nie Huaisang mumbles, all of his previous joy quickly dissolving at the thought he might have gotten Lan Xichen in trouble.

Lan Xichen, kneeling on the floor and desperately trying to put some order to his hair, freezes.

“Don’t be sorry,” he says, hesitantly reaching out toward Nie Huaisang and cupping his cheek with one hand, exactly as he had done hours earlier. “I don’t regret this. Huaisang, I… I’m happy. I’m really happy. I have to hurry now but… let’s talk tomorrow? That is, if you want to…”

“I want,” Nie Huaisang eagerly cuts him. “Anything you want, I want it too.”

It is Lan Xichen’s turn to chuckle with giddiness. He presses one last, tender kiss to Nie Huaisang’s lips before standing up. After he rearranges himself a little, the only sign of their activities is the fact his lips are red and swollen, and that’s impossibly unfair because Nie Huaisang is starting to feeling like a sweaty, sticky, disgusting mess and he knows he’ll have to skip dinner to avoid drawing attention to his state.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Lan Xichen promises again just before crossing the doorway.

Nie Huaisang nods, once more happy beyond what words can express. 

He can’t wait for tomorrow to come.

[rvnjun]

weather boy | haechan

genre: super power!au 

warnings:  violence, mentions of blood

authors note: first part of The Dream Team series! Finally finished it after nearly two years of sitting in my drafts,,collecting dirt and cobwebs 

probably spelling and grammar mistakes because i suck at proofreading 

all i could think of when writing this 

The Dream Team M.list

Some people were born with their powers because their parents had them, others received them under strange and unusual circumstances 

most people fit into one of those two categories, it was nearly impossible for them not too

however, Donghyuck was a special case

technically he was born with his powers, but technically he received them thanks to a injection

his mother was a scientist working for a laboratory

for years she helped developed a serum that would give someone powers 

his mother was a courageous woman and offered herself up as the first test subject, they didn't know if the serum would kill her or even work

injecting it into herself she stayed under surveillance for weeks and the only thing that seemed to be happening was that she kept feeling nauseous and puking  

they brushed it off as a weird side effect

however, 1 month later she learned about her pregnancy

she left the lab and focused all her attention on raising her soon to be son

the thoughts of the serum still lingered in her mind, she was filled with despair at the fact that it seemed to not have worked 

but she would soon be proven wrong

when her son was born, clouds filled the room and rain began to pour down, wind started blowing everything around

the serum did in fact work, just not on her

Donghyuk had it slightly hard growing up

since neither of his parents had powers they weren't able to understand him

they took him to power therapy, there he learned how to control them and what he could do with them 

he knew that his powers were powerful and potentially dangerous 

watching the news caused him to see how people could take their amazing gifts and do some of the worst things with them 

the hatred and fear they caused, it was because of them that people would treat those with powers like trash and not human 

Donghyuck wanted to do good, he had a gift and he wanted to use it to save the world, to show those out their that hated his kind that they were also good people 

when he met up with people who also had powers, they called him crazy 

“Why would I risk my life for those who wouldn't risk theirs for me?”

“What's the point, its to much work!”

“Your crazy, ya know!”

it made Donghyuck bubble with rage

why couldnt they be more compassionate and understanding

normal humans had a right to be afraid of them, look at all the things “superheros” did to them

superheros were so focused on stopping the villian that sometimes they caused more damage then what the villain would have done 

Donghyuck confronted his power therapist, he went on a 30 minute rant on how he wanted to save peoples lives but no one else wanted to 

which is when his therapist told him about a young boy named Jaemin

apparently “Jaemin” was like him, he wanted to use his powers to help save people 

and that's how he met his best friends 

it was also how he met you

many of the fights and bad people seemed to target the same neighborhood

which was where you lived

it wasn't a bad neighborhood but it also wasn't the richest, it was perfectly in the middle 

there was many times when you would be sitting outside and all of a sudden some person was going off on a speech about taking over the world

you always casually watched from your porch

after awhile of watching them fight you chose to make them some snacks

Donghyuck was completely taken back when you casually approached them with sandwiches and water

it became your thing, you make them some food and bring it to them

while doing so you fell for the weather powered boy 

you were extremely shocked when you learned Donghyucks real identity 

he was the cute kid who never shut up in your chem class

which in hindsight, you should have known

Donghyuck was known for his weather powers

you laughed to yourself, people should have been smarter to realize that the kid in school with weather powers was actually the superhero,,,with weather powers 

he risked revealing his identity to you so you could date

The Dream Team, as they called themselves didn't mind, they all loved you

you had already proven that you were a nice person, that you actually cared about them 

dating Donghyuck was a little hard at first, only because sometimes he couldn't control his powers around you

like the time when some dude was hitting on you, Donghyuck made it downpour in the coffee shop,,,only on the guy 

then there was the time you two were swimming and messing around, he was shooting you heart eyes, the clouds cleared up even more and you swore you heard sweet music suddenly play in the background 

and your personal favorite was when you two were having a pretty intense make-out session and the temperature in the room raised a whole 10 degrees

(fahrenheit otherwise that would be concerning)

other than his rapid emotions he was an amazing normal boyfriend

he loved to show you off, if you ever felt insecure about something 

he would brag about you to everyone around him like you were a first place trophy 

you still brought his friends food after they fought, except this time Donghyuck enjoyed your kisses more than the food 

Everyone at your school was kinda shocked to learn that you were dating 

as far as they knew you never talked before

and then suddenly you were holding hands in the hallway while walking each other to classes 

As much as you loved Donghyuck for fighting,and helping people you couldn't help but feel scared for him sometimes 

the number of times he came over to your house with cuts and bruises on your face made your heart sink

you always told him that he should have gone to Jaemin for help but he said that you made him feel better 

like any other day you were sitting at your desk while working on some dreaded homework

the headphones blasting music in your ears distracted you from properly doing your work, plus its not like you were really trying

a light tap of your window caused you to look up with a soft smile

you were expecting to see Donghyuks smiling face

“Babe?” You asked when no one was in sight

feeling confused you stood up and stupidly opened the window

screaming Donghyucks name when someone grabbed you and pulled you out of it

you knew that Donghyuck wasnt near but you pleaded for him in your mind

begging for him to somehow hear you and save you

everything went black and the last thing you saw was the intruders smiling face

Donghyuck laughed along with his friends at Renjuns joke

suddenly Jisung stopped laughing and looked straight at Donghyuck

“Hyung, Y/n is in danger,” he said very seriously

“What? Don't joke like that,” Donghyuck snapped a bit

not really enjoying being joked with on something so serious

“Im not joking! I just know Y?n is in danger,” he protested growing more and more scared every second

everyone looked at him before Chenle spoke up

“Jisung would joke about something like that, Y/n must seriously be in danger.”

rushing out of his seat Donghyuck made a mad dash for your house

the clouds around began to darken, rain falling slowly

he pulled at his phone and repeatedly tried to call you but got no answer

adding to the sudden weather problems

wind harshly blew, a drastic change from the previous sunny and calm day

when Donghyuck arrived at your house and saw your open window he just knew Jisung was right

as much as he didnt want to believe him

looking around he couldn't see any sign as to where you could have been

tears began to fall down his face

calling Jisung he begged and pleaded for him to figure out where you were

Jisung thought and thought about everything before it came to him 

“I think,,I think Y/n is at the old abandoned factory on 8th str-” Donghyuck hung up before he could finish his sentence

Donghyuck turned and darted in the direction of the factory

people around him screamed as the rain poured harder and thunder boomed, lightning decorated the sky rapidly, cool and warm wind began to mix causing funnel clouds to appear

dangerously threatening the people out the city

back at the table Donghyuck friends stared at the sky in awe, they had seen Donghyucks powers before but never like this

silently praying for your safety they sat and watched the sky, waiting for it to change to show that you were okay 

he quickly arrived at the factory, the door burst open from wind before he could even touch it

he listened for a sound, running towards it

the door burst open as Donghyuck arrived, staring at your tied up and beaten figure

“Y/n,” he yelled, body shaking with anger

the guy in front of you immediately dropped what he was holding in fear

you cried in happiness at seeing your boyfriend, knowing that he was able to find you thanks to Jisung

“How dare you fucking hurt Y/n,” he said angrily

bursts of wind launched the man into the wall and held him there

the room rapidly rised in temperature, clouds formed in the room, replicating the weather outside

the man screamed out

Donghyuck stepped towards him as tornado began to form

he untied you, holding your body as you fell into his arms, knees weak from pain

gently he kissed your forehead “ill take you to Jaemin as soon as im done here baby,” he tone was the exact opposite of the one he used to the man just seconds before

you stared at the room in awe at his powers, not feeling the slightest afraid because you trusted him

a huge bolt of lightening stuck down on the man causing him to knockout

Donghyuck calmed down at seeing the injured man

the boys back at the table smiled at the sky when all the clouds disappeared the sun came out, wind changing to a gentle breeze

“Im so glad you are okay, I was so fucking worried,” he began to cry as he held you

“I don't know what I would have done if I lost you, Y/n you are my everything and I can't live without you,” he body shook with tears

holding him as tight as you could you rested your head on his chest 

“I screamed for you the whole time, all i wanted was to be right here,,in your arms,” you said happily

your eyes started to close, exhausted taking over your body

you placed a weak kiss on Donghyucks lips

“let me take you to Jaemin,”

Donghyuck smiled contentedly and carried you out of the room, ignoring the man, and was happily met with his friends

“Figured you'd need me,” Jaemin looked at you and smiled, healing all your wounds and making you feel like none of it had happened

“Well lets get out of here,” Jaemin said

Donghyuck followed behind his friends, refusing to put you back down

“,,,you aren't gonna heal the guy, Hyung? what if Donghyuk killed him?” Jisung asked in surprise

Jaemin waved his hand and shook his head 

Donghyuck scoffed “Sadly, he wasn't hurt that badly.” 

[marshmallowprotection]

imagine getting isekaid but instead of being mc, you get to be in saeran's place before getting snatched by rika to mint eye or another story/common route happens, what will you do?

See, Isekai is my very favorite story genre, like ever. I’ve consumed so many of them and written my own takes on them a hundred times. I’ve actually thought about this because a lot of the recent ones that have shifted away from plopping you into the original place and putting you into villains or side characters, etc. It is an interesting take. 

I’ve thought about What if you were in Rika’s place, before, but I struggled to like figure out what would be harder or more interesting to read. What if you woke up and you were already in Mint Eye? What if you were at the cusp of the RFA as it started to form? What if you were at the start, and had a chance to do things the right way and ensure that everyone is safe, and not hurt? 

That would be a hard story to write but God, I kind of want to do it. I’ve also considered the MC Isekai route a lot, haha. Technically, Lila’s story started out as one of those, but I tend to use her in the canon story now instead. 

Now, if you were to wake up as Unknown, you would already be too late to do anything whatsoever about changing the past. You would be stuck in that spot with two choices: Do you destroy Mint Eye or do you destroy the RFA? You have that choice with his power at your fingertips. If you awake as Unknown and the MC is already in the apartment, well... there’s only so much that you can do at that point. 

You can run from Mint Eye, or you can try, at least. That “Savior” would not be too kind if you didn’t do it fast and quick without her knowing what you were doing at that moment. Otherwise, dungeons. You can try to go to the RFA and Seven. You can try to fix things, but the elixir and possibly Saeran’s body will be dealing with the aftershocks, even if it’s you in his mind’s place, so that is something to consider. 

Anger, rage, and lashing out. It may not end well. I mean, you can try to right wrongs but it’s going to be a mess as Unknown. 

If it’s Another Story, and you’re in Ray’s position. You’re also sort of stuck in a way. Ray is just as trapped as the MC is. You can try to weasel your way out of that place, but Rika has got her eyes on you. She’s strict with Ray and she is on him like a hawk to a snake. If the MC is already there, you can only pray that you can work with them to get out of that place. 

It’s already going to be hard enough with eyes on your back, but if you aren’t gifted with what Ray knows, you are going to be fucked even more. Hacking is a key power of his and without it, you are going to have a very hard time as the MC would. 

If you’re... if you find yourself in Saeran’s body, and he’s just been recently taken in by V and Rika, then you have the greatest chance of changing the story as it is. Rika is in a bad headspace during that period but all she had was someone feeding into her darkest thoughts, her relishing in it, and having control over the trust of Saeran without question. She needed someone at that moment in time to empathize with—

She did do that with Saeran, but her plans become darker and twisted as time went on and she felt trapped in a corner, not wanting to change or get help for her problems. She wraps herself in a blanket of her ill feelings and clutches to it because she fears who she may become without it. Perhaps if you had the chance to be more forward and call her out on her shit, and insist that V be there more fucking often because he’s not there a lot—

It could be different. 

That’s just a guess, though, it’s not solid, because there is also a likelihood that she is too far gone to even be spoken with, and you would have no choice but to try to ensure that you aren’t alone with her and that you stay as close to V as humanly possible. Cry, lament as you may, but that may be the only hope. If you stop yourself from becoming a revenge puppet for Mint Eye, that doesn’t mean that Rika won’t use someone else. 

God, it would be hard to imagine but this could be a reverse AU alongside an Isekai. You wake up as Saeran and manage to avoid doom, but Rika still winds up fighting with V and leaving. Well, she needs another hacker, so she winds up using the MC, instead. So, this leaves Saeran and MC at opposite ends of the story. 

It’d be even wilder if the MC, themself, was also dealing with Isekai, but using that power for doom. Whereas this Saeran was trying to use it for good. 

Like, Anon, you’re speaking my language and fuck do I wish we could talk about this a lot more because it’s my fucking jam. 

[heyyyharry]

My Girl Series: Chapter 15 - My Girl

…in which Harry and Y/N go back to where it all began. {end of book 1}

Series description: Y/N falls in love with the older boy next door who doesn’t feel the same, years later they meet again at a funeral.

AU: actor!harry, older!harry, younger!y/n; (4-year age gap)

Chapter 14: Home Truth - Y/N discovers a family secret, and Harry is in despair.

Book 2: Masterlist - Thursday, May 16 // First preview - Thursday, May 23 // First chapter - Friday, May 24 (WATTPAD) and Saturday, May 25 (TUMBLR) // 12pm GMT.

Warning: nothing but angst and plenty of mistakes because I didn’t proofread.

A/N: listen to this while reading. And let’s see if you can find all the parallels between this chapter and the first one. ;)

OC version

.

Ten years ago, in the town of Holmes Chapel, a little girl started her first journal entry with a story for her class assignment. She defined true happiness as the older boy next door who owned her heart. Her parents' marriage had proven that true love didn't exist, yet Harry showed up and all her walls came tumbling down.

Every day before bed, Y/N would write about him in her pink notebook, about the possibility of an unknown future where they lived happily ever after. She was so young. And everything was easy, until it was not.

He was hers, until he wasn't.

One night she went straight to bed without writing about him. There was nothing to write about the person you were no longer friends with.

She'd been losing sleep, asking herself why Harry never came back to their treehouse, why he didn't say hello when he walked right past her with his friends, how he could just stop knowing her. She kept wondering, yet she waited, and waited, and waited.

She waited, until he left her.

For two years since he was gone, she'd been expecting a call, a letter, anything that let her know for him she still existed. But every day came a new disappointment as she checked her mailbox to find nothing from him.

Eventually, Y/N took her mother's advice to write to Harry first. She began with a draft in her pink notebook, putting her heart and soul into every single word on the paper. But once she'd finished it, her fear of never getting a response overpowered her need to reach out for him. So she kept it to herself and decided to write even more letters that she would never send; just to get the overwhelming sadness out of her system, and for her to miss him a bit less every day.

Now 24-year-old Harry was alone in his bedroom, too focused on those words to even notice the sun was rising. With tears running down his face, he imagined her reading everything to him.

Dear Harry, she would begin in each letter before telling him about her day, her silly thoughts, her plan for the future, how much she'd missed him, and asking him questions like 'are you coming back?' and 'do you think about me sometimes?' All of those things made his heart wrench in a way that healed him and tore him up at the same time.

The bone-deep fear grew much larger now that he'd reached Y/N's last entry written the night before her first time on a date. The love she had for Blake was proof that she had moved on from Harry once and would do it again if she wanted to. So apparently, Harry had less time on his hand than he thought. It was in that moment of dismal stillness that all the voices in his head started screaming at each other. What should he do now? One wrong move would inevitably lead to major consequences. But if he didn't make a move, he'd have zero chance of winning her back.

As his ringtone pierced through the silence like a cannonball, Harry's eyes sparkled with hope. He had prayed that it was her until seeing the name Niall on the screen made him gutted. Harry held the phone at his ear, falling down onto his back and darting his tiring eyes to the ceiling.

"Harold," his best friend spoke first. "Do you know the brand of that camera Isey's been using lately?"

Harry sighed at the question, laying an arm on his forehead. "I don't know, mate. Why don't you ask him?"

"I did text him but he hasn't replied. Thanks anyway, I'll wait until he comes back from Holmes Chapel."

The town name caused Harry's eyes to shoot open as he sat straight up on the bed, eyebrows drew together. "Why's he in Holmes Chapel?"

"Yesterday he came to visit Smiley, I mean Bambi, then decided to stay for her father's wedding. But...which one of you is dating Y/N? Are you back with Ruby now, because—"

"Sorry mate, I'm—I'm gonna have to call you back," Harry interjected those endless inquiries before hanging up on Niall without further explanation. There was not enough time to raise questions of his own about why Isaac didn't tell him anything and went to see Y/N alone. He didn't even feel betrayed, he just felt scared as he grabbed his car key and bolted towards the door. He couldn't lose her now, not again, not this way.

.

.

.

"This is it," Y/N mumbled to herself as she walked through the door. The air was sweet and the sky was clear, a perfect day for a wedding.

There was nothing outside but sunshine, yet just to step into it made her heart thump in her chest. Something about seeing her garden for the first time in years away from home was so strange. Maybe it was the giggles of children, or the screaming of their parents who warned them about spoiling their outfits, or loud conversations of overly excited relatives who only showed up when there was a wedding or a funeral.

The white decorations went a bit over the top for a wedding that was supposed to be small. Knowing Marcy, Y/N wasn't surprised. She thought it was smart to be extravagant on the white and having pastel as the dress code, now the scene really did look like a beautiful mosaic.

But it wasn't just the wedding that had changed her backyard entirely. It was also the fact that Marcy had turned this spot into the dream garden Tam had always wanted, with all types of flowers Y/N could name or even more. The grass was always green and fresh as her stepmother made sure that it was watered and trimmed regularly. The sprinklers would come up in the early morning to wake up the flower kingdom that used to only exist on the other side of the fence. Apparently, Bradford wasn't the only one well-taken care of since Marcy came around.

Y/N went to find Isaac, trying to avoid the cousins she disliked, the aunties who always pinched her cheeks, and those uncles who always asked whom she was dating. And even though she wasn't actually thinking about him, like a habit she still darted her eyes to the tree standing tall in the backyard next door.

There it was, her childhood fort made of wood — the only thing that stayed the same in this town despite how many years had passed. It stood there, tall and proud, unbothered by the changes in weather and time, surviving through all the storms. If only people were the same, Y/N thought to herself. Sadly, the human heart was a delicate little thing. It had to change in order to adapt, otherwise, it wouldn't stay alive.

"Hey."

The voice caused her head to spin. Instantly, Y/N put on a smile when she saw Isaac, who was wearing her father's pastel blue shirt in order to match the theme.

"Wow, you look..." The man was speechless for two seconds as he saw her in the dress Marcy had picked out. He tried to look for a better word, but he couldn't come up with anything else so he settled with "...beautiful."

Y/N giggled as she shook her head, standing with her hands behind her back and trying to hide her rosy cheeks from his charmingly timid blue eyes.

"Thank you," she said. "You look beautiful yourself."

"To be honest, I think I'm way too underdressed," he replied, opening his arms to look at the shirt that seemed too oversized for him. The way he lifted an eyebrow questioningly at himself made her giggle. When he finally looked up and flashed her a grin, they shared the kind of glance that sent both into silence for a long moment.

"We should go find our seats," she blurted, turning away to leave yet he stopped her just in time.

"Hold on." Isaac took her wrist, taking a step forward to close the distance between them. Before Y/N could ask, he carefully tucked the wavy strand behind her ear since it kept falling out of her bun, no matter how many times she'd tried to brush it back into place. As his eyes twinkled with another smile, Y/N was certain she had never seen a blue so warm.

"Pastel pink suits you very well," he said in an undertone, his fingers which had previously wrapped around her wrist were now intertwined with hers.

"T-Thanks," Y/N muttered shyly as she followed him, they were the last ones to find their seats so the wedding ceremony could begin.

Even though Y/N's idea of love had changed constantly throughout the years, her adoration for weddings never had. To her, a wedding was like a temporary happy ending. No matter what had happened before or might happen after, in this moment, there was nothing but bliss. This was the closest reality could ever get to fiction, and for someone who'd been writing fictional love stories her entire life, it was good to live through a moment like this once in a while.

All the guests rose up when Marcy's favorite song 'Yellow' began to play. Most eyes were on the beautiful bride as she marched down the aisle, holding her father's hand and a bouquet of daisies that Y/N had helped her arrange last night. Meanwhile, the twenty-year-old kept her eyes on her father, who had already burst into happy tears. Seeing him cry was all it took for Y/N to start sobbing as well.

"Dumbass Marcy picked the worst day to wear non-waterproof makeup." Her lips twitched in amusement as her father kept wiping off his bride's running mascara every five seconds.

"She looks good though," said Isaac, who couldn't stop beaming now.

Y/N nodded to agree. She could never deny the fact that Marcy was naturally pretty and was always the center of attention. But today she looked radiantly gorgeous, probably because happiness was the most authentic real-life filter. Y/N was content, knowing a woman could only look that happy when she was madly in love.

Bradford had gone through so much, starting from his wife's betrayal and tragic death, to rumors about him being unfaithful and a cold-hearted liar, to his daughter's hatred for she had loved her mother too much to understand. After everything, this was the ending he deserved. And Y/N was very proud of him.

.

.

.

"Y/N! It's happening!"

Y/N widened her eyes as her overexcited best friend grabbed her by the arms and pushed her against the lockers. They had caught the attention from a few other kids in the hallway, however, Celine was too thrilled to even care.

"Blake Roman is gonna ask you out!"

"Blake and I are only study buddies." Y/N snorted. Holding her books to her chest, she told the shorter girl, "I know he doesn't like me, at least...not that way."

"But he does! He told Flynn who told Marcus who told Amala who told me that he was gonna ask you out today! God, I'm so happy for you!" Celine squealed, shaking Y/N violently before pulling her into a suffocating hug. The tiny girl expected her friend to jump or even scream, yet her actual reaction was much disappointing.

"I really like Blake, but..."

"No, but! But isn't good!" Celine rebuked Y/N's thought before she could even finish it. Straightening her arms, the smaller one pulled away, seemingly so upset. "You like Blake, Y/N. Just stop there, alright?"

"Blake and I are so different. Besides, have you seen the girls he used to date?"

"You're not turning him down because you're insecure, are you?!"

"I'm not!" She was. "Boys like Blake..." Or boys in general. "They're gonna leave you eventually."

Celine's hardened expression was exactly in the card, but the words that came out from her mouth was definitely unexpected.

"It's still about Harry, right?"

The tone of the question made it seem more like a statement. Following her instinct, the first thing Y/N did was counter the remark, yet deep within she was still second-guessing what her true answer might be.

"Not everything I do is about Harry."

Celine couldn't look less dubious. At a time like this, she would normally start ranting about why Harry wasn't worth it, but she knew Y/N would shut her ears to such opinions as always. Of course, she couldn't understand the kind of love her best friend had for a boy who'd been gone for two years. Therefore, she hated how Y/N refused to acknowledge the fact that Harry might not return.

"Please go out with Blake," Celine said, taking a deep breath. "Don't put your entire life on hold just because you're missing someone."

And just like that, she walked off, knowing her words would stay behind as they were already engraved in Y/N's brain.

.

.

.

"Harry, where the hell are you?!"

"Jeff, I—"

"What's wrong with you?! The whole team is waiting!"

Honestly, Harry didn't know what was wrong with him, like when he skipped the BAFTAs, when he canceled his schedule at the last minute to take Y/N back to Holmes Chapel. And now he was returning to that old town for it might be his last chance to win her back. The reason that he'd put his career and reputation at risk, the only person who mattered above all, was the one he'd let down.

"I'll explain to you later, I promise. I'm so sorry," he told his manager and didn't even let the man speak as he hung up the call to keep on driving. He knew he might not make it back before the wedding was over. He could only hope that she would wait. She'd waited for him her whole life, yet a couple minutes more seemed so expensive.

As he drove, the only thing playing in his head were the words she'd written in her journal, which he'd left behind when he was in a rush. Still, he remembered everything and now those words wouldn't leave him alone.

'Dear Harry,

This might be the last letter I'm writing to you. I'm going on a date tomorrow, a real date, can you believe it?

Blake finally asked me out. This would be my first date ever and I'm sweating just from thinking about it. If you were here I know you would give me a ton of advice, something like 'don't let him touch you where you don't wanna be touched', and I would roll my eyes and tell you you're overreacting. Fortunately you're not here. But don't worry, we won't go that far. I really like Blake, and you might like him too once you see how sweet he is to me.

As I said in one of my letters, when there comes a guy I really like, I will stop writing to you and let you go. I feel like this is it. This is the one...'

.

.

.

Since her family didn't usually have guests, Y/N was pretty surprised when she got home to find her mother talking to their neighbor in the kitchen. The last time she spoke to Anne was the day Harry left, after that she had no more reasons to spend time with his family to get updated on how they'd been. Now that Anne was here, she was hoping to get some news about Harry.

Of course, Tam had no idea that her sixteen-year-old daughter was standing right outside and listening to this conversation. If she had known, she wouldn't have said what she was about to say.

"You must be so proud. If I were you I would tell the whole town that my son just signed a big movie contract, and his girlfriend is a model."

"I'm about to go knock on every door," Anne replied as they both shared a good laugh.

Meanwhile, heartbroken Y/N flopped down on the bottom stair with her hands on her chest. She couldn't make a sound or else they would know she was there, but she was too hurt to even move. When the front door opened, she almost didn't notice, until her dad appeared and paused as he saw his teenage daughter sitting right there.

At first, he couldn't understand why she seemed so sad, until he heard Anne laughing in the kitchen. He took a guess that his daughter had sat there long enough to hear something about Harry which she didn't want to hear. The look on her face had said it all.

He parted his lips, yet no sound escaped. He was never good at talking about feelings and giving advice on growing up and falling in love for the first time. That was why he'd left it all to Tam to be the consultant in the house. However, seeing Y/N like this made him wish he had tried to be her friend. Now he'd missed another chance to get to know her as she was quick to run upstairs without saying another word.

Y/N locked herself in her room and sat with her back against the door, holding both knees to her chest. The moment she spotted the pink notebook lying on her bed, Celine's words came to life once again. She'd been putting her life on hold for him, while his life still moved on as the earth kept spinning round. He'd got a movie contract and was dating a model. Here she was, saying no to every chance of happiness she could get, to keep her door wide open for someone she hadn't heard from for two years.

What was she doing?

The buzzing of the phone in Y/N's pocket made her flinch. She pulled it out, expecting it to be Celine but it was a different name that she saw.

⌲ Blake: Can I see you tonight? I have something important to say to you.

So it was true, Y/N thought to herself as she went over that question a couple times. Blake did want to ask her out. However, she wanted to say no. This relationship hadn't even started yet and she could already envision all the different scenarios of him leaving her.

Sighing, the girl typed down her answer, knowing it was for the best if she'd just turn him down and be alone. But when she was done and ready to press send, she hesitated. No. This wasn't the right way. Her life had to move on, she had to start somewhere.

After contemplating for a little bit more, she came to a decision to delete it all and type down something else.

⌲ Sure. Where do we meet?

It took less than two seconds for her phone to buzz again.

⌲ Blake: I'll come over at 8.

When Y/N read his reply, her heart came to a halt. She exhaled through her mouth, tossing her head back against the door to roll her eyes upward, staring at the ceiling. This could be the worst decision or the best one she'd made. She would never know if she didn't try.

.

.

.

Y/N loved the view from her treehouse. When she was sitting up there, looking at the trees and the roofs and the field behind her yard, she felt like she was on top of the world. She remembered thinking that someday she would build her own house in a tree where she and Harry could live happily together with their little family.

But growing up was when you realized not everything was possible like it was in the mind of a child, that people didn't live on trees, that it wasn't always good to be alone all the time, and the boy you thought would be the love of your life couldn't be the love of your life forever.

As the wedding party went on, Y/N decided to find her escape on the treehouse. It was the first time she'd been up here since the night of her mother's funeral. She sat on the edge, watching the children chasing one another in her backyard and thinking about when she was their age. However, she wasn't depressed as she thought about the past anymore. After everything that had happened, her falling out with Harry, her finding the truth about her mother, she realized life was too short to hold onto grief. Everything you had today could disappear tomorrow. In order to enjoy life to the fullest, it was best to just treat memories as a place to visit once in a while, not a place to stay.

"Smiley!"

Isaac's voice pulled Y/N's attention away from her jungle of thoughts. She looked down right by the fence where he stood with a massive smile upon his face.

"What are you doing in your neighbor's treehouse?"

"This is my treehouse actually."

The way she scrunched up her nose made him laugh. Though Isaac was a bit confused by that answer, he simply shrugged it off and asked, "can I join you up there?"

"Sure. The ladder is over there."

When Y/N said it, she temporarily forgot the promise she'd made to Harry when she was fourteen. As soon as it came to her mind, Isaac was already on his way up. But then she thought to herself, maybe even if Harry had been there, he wouldn't have cared. She'd never let anyone else enter their treehouse, not even Blake, because she used to take that promise so seriously, thinking this place must've meant the whole world to him. Now she didn't really know if it still meant anything to him.

"Be careful!"

"Don't underestimate m—Shit!"

Isaac nearly missed his last step on the rope ladder, and the look of relief on his face when she reached for his arms made her laugh so hard.

Once again, she had someone else by her side as they sat on the edge of the treehouse with their feet dangling in the air, feeling the breezes blowing through their hair. She felt his eyes on her as she watched her father and Marcy laughing with the wedding guests.

"Bored of the party?" He asked in an attempt to gain back her attention.

"Not a family gathering kind of gal, you know what I'm sayin'?" Her fake American accent as she did a peace sign got Isaac chuckling and rolling his eyes playfully. He looked around after she'd gone back to silence. There were so many questions he wanted to ask, beginning with the reason why she'd told him this treehouse belonged to her. But it wasn't necessary anymore now that he'd just seen ‘Y/N ❤ Harry’ carved on the floor.

"So...this is Harry's..."

Y/N seemed a bit puzzled by what he said, until she also spotted the words that she didn't even remember were there.

"He let me have this place when he left so it's mine now." She laughed slightly, but Isaac knew she found no humor in those words. Taking a deep breath, she added, "in the language of angsty teens, this was where I came to cry."

Her joke made both of them chuckle.

"This used to be my favorite place in the world," she said in a hushed toned after the laughter had died down. "Harry...used to be my favorite person in the world."

This was the first time she'd ever admitted her feelings for Harry to Isaac. The last and only time she spoke about Harry to him was on their first unofficial date, otherwise, Isaac would've misunderstood the nature of their so-called 'friendship'. Now she felt like Isaac deserved to know more.

"Two of my hardest goodbyes happened here," she went on, lowering her voice and her smile was no longer there. "The first one was Harry, the second was my first boyfriend Blake. Both left me to follow their bigger dreams, but for me at the time, they were everything I'd ever wanted."

She paused for a long time, yet Isaac didn't try to throw in a comment. He was just waiting for her to go on. So she did.

"I wanted to be somebody's first choice so bad that I forgot to make myself my first choice. Now I know that everyone is allowed to leave, and the only person I can control is myself."

"Right." Isaac agreed, nodding his head. "So if we cannot love ourselves, then when people leave us, we've got nothing left."

"Right," she repeated his word while holding his gaze.

He could soothe her like no one else, it was impossible to stay anxious or upset with Isaac around. That was why she must tell him what had been bothering her since yesterday, knowing he was too good of a person to say anything first.

"I shouldn't have dragged you into my mess," she spoke, giving him a dreary smile. "I've caused you so much trouble already, and I've never done anything good for you. I'm the worst friend ever."

"You didn't drag me into anything." His voice right now was as soft as the look in his eyes. "I walked straight into the trouble, because it's yours...and when it comes to you, I don't mind."

When he reached out and placed his hand on her neck, her entire body tensed up. He thought she might withdraw from his touch, but instead, she stayed still, eventually relaxing her muscles as their eyes met once again.

"If you think you're supposed to do something for me, don't." He shook his head, his eyebrows pulled together. Y/N had never seen Isaac upset or worried and this was the closest he'd ever got to being sad. She couldn't help but blame herself for doing this to him.

"I don't...I don't deserve you..." she faltered.

As much as she wanted to give him the chance that he wanted, she knew her brain had built new walls after what had happened with Harry. It would take time to tear them down brick by brick and it would be cruel to ask him to wait for her to pick herself up and start again. One thing that she'd learned from her own experience was, no one besides yourself was worth the wait.

"Who are we to decide who's good for us and who's not?" he told her, lifting his other hand to cup her face as well. A small lock tumbled in front of her face, resting just in front of her cheek, but with one swift slide of his thumb, it was brushed out of the way. He looked so nice like this, especially in the natural lighting when the color of his eyes matched the ineffably blue and distant sky above their heads. She was now reminded how much she'd loved that color since the first time they met, the color of hope.

"Look," he began again as she didn't say anything. "I'm not gonna pressure you into doing anything you're not comfortable with. I know you need time to figure things out, but I'm not going anywhere. You can take your time, and just...just let me look out for you like this. That's all I ask."

Y/N remained silent, this time she nodded her head. The frown on his face was soon washed off by a hopeful grin as their eyes locked.

"Thank you," she faintly mumbled before her lips alighted on his cheek, as soft as a feather.

.

.

.

"Harry Styles?!"

Harry had spent most of his energy and patience driving as fast as he could from London back to Holmes Chapel. The last thing he wanted when he arrived was for any of the wedding guests to recognize him. He almost turned down the request to take a photo with the woman, but she was quick to grab him by the arm before he made it to the door leading to the backyard.

"Do you remember me?" She asked, sounding thrilled to bits. Now that Harry had got a good look at her face, he finally realized who she was.

"Aunt Lynn?" His eyes widened in shock. Lynn was much skinnier than the twenty-year-old she used to be, and her hair wasn't purple anymore so Harry had a hard time trying to recognize her. The only thing that hadn't changed was the way she chewed her gum while speaking. Though Y/N used to go on and on about how annoying it was, Harry hadn't got a chance to talk to the woman long enough to notice, until now.

"Baby Harry Styles?!" She gasped, reaching up to pinch his cheeks. "Oh my god, I remember when you were a little boy and now you're much taller than me."

"That's...great...But I really need to go." He grabbed her shoulders, pushing her away politely. "Have you seen Y/N?"

"I didn't know you two were still hanging out now that you're famous."

Harry rolled his eyes, ignoring the unnecessary remark. "But have you seen her?"

"She was with another handsome boy," Lynn said, bringing the champagne glass to her red lips to take a sip. "Man, I remember when I was her age. She's so me."

"Thank you," Harry spoke fast as he slightly pushed her aside so he could stride towards the door. This time it was her laugh that stopped him halfway.

"What?" He lifted an eyebrow in confusion as the woman shook her head, a huge questionable smirk appeared on her face.

"This is the first time I've seen you chase after little Y/N and not the other way around.”

She might've said it as a joke, but there was something about those words that did him damage as he turned away. He stepped into her backyard, scanning his anxious green eyes around to search for a figure of the girl he loved. He was too lost in his own head to acknowledge how much this place had changed, or the curious stares people were giving him for some could recognize who he was.

'I'll always love you most of all. You'll always be number one, no matter where you are, or if we'll ever meet again.'

He looked so hopeless, wanting to call out her name but he didn't want to draw any more attention on him. He could feel anxiety and fears growing within him like an unstoppable snowball rolling down the hill. His heart started to beat harder and faster as his adrenaline levels rose. 

'I know this letter will never get to you, but it's doesn’t hurt to imagine, right? Maybe after reading this, you would realize that you love me and don't want me to be with another boy. So you would get into your car and drive from London back to Cheshire to tell me those three words in person.'

And then he finally saw her, in the only place she would go to when the crowd became overwhelming. For someone who could spend the whole night at some bar dancing away her sorrow, she strangely enjoyed being alone. But she wasn't alone. She was with Isaac. In the treehouse that was once her and Harry's. He could hear the sound of his heart cracking open as the pain that felt almost as if it was physical choked the breath out of his body.

'I'd be waiting by the treehouse so when you came, I would run into your arms...'

Everything once whole was now shattered. The sweat soaked through his shirt and the pressure within his chest made it feel like it was going to explode. Somehow he was still sane enough to notice she was wearing pink. He hadn't seen her in pink for so long, if only he could tell her how much she resembled the girl she was trying hard to get rid of. She looked good, happiness really made her shine. He wished he could read their lips to know what they were talking about. But if he could, would those words break him even more than the genuine smile on her face?

'...and just like in every romantic movie, we'd kiss and live happily ever after.'

He wasn't mad at her for breaking the promise she'd made when she was only a child. It was when she leaned in and kissed his best friend's cheek that he realized everything was over. The first and only time he'd chased after her, he ended up showing up too late. Harry knew there was more to that friendly kiss, for someone with trust issues and fear of attachment like her to get intimate, there was always a reason. She was willing to give Isaac and herself another chance, what she could've done a long time ago had he not been in the way.

'But life isn't a movie. Someday when if you realize that you love me, hopefully, I'll still be here waiting for you.’

Harry left her house with his head hung low. On the way back to his car, he thought about everything, about their first kiss, their last kiss, their first time, their last time, and all the other in-betweens that he didn't appreciate enough until they were gone. In his head, he replayed the same two words he had said to her many years ago, the ones he didn't think she would hold onto until long after he was gone, the ones that he wished were still true knowing they weren't anymore.

‘Your girl, always.’

[ibelieveinahappilyeverafter]

i’m not the villain i appear to be (but i’ll play one for you)

Ha, so, it’s 3 AM and I really don’t have an excuse for this piece beyond the fact I’ve been listening to this song the entire time I was writing the piece - and, for the record, I wrote, proofed, and am now posting this drabble all within the past couple of hours. It was also roughly inspired by the video linked and an AU me and my girlfriend @cheshire-kas did for some RPs, so, uh... Enjoy! I hope!

(In case the link doesn’t work above, here it is in full: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRpiBvwKX6c) 

                                                            ⁂

Summary: Danny Fenton, twenty-four-year-old detective, hadn’t been expecting for art thieves to actually show up during the biggest and busiest night and event of the museum he was tasked to watched. He also hadn’t expected to end up flirting with one of the thieves, but, well... accidents happened. 

Fandom: Danny Phantom

Relationship: Danny Fenton | Danny Phantom/Ghost Writer | Andrew Riter 

Characters: Danny Fenton | Danny Phantom, Ghost Writer | Andrew Riter 

Rating: Teen Audiences

Word Count: 2,368

                Check out my writing commission information here!                      Pledge to my Patreon to get exclusive content!

                                                            ⁂

                 i’m not the villain i appear to be (but i’ll play one for you)

                                                             ⁂

Halfway through trying to smother a laugh into his drink without spilling anything onto his suit, Danny felt his amusement start to drain out of him when he saw Sam’s smile, a twisted little smirk, go from wry amusement to sour annoyance. She paired the twist in expression with a soft, “Heads up.” Danny, unfortunately, didn’t even get a chance to brace himself before he realized what Sam’s warning meant.

“Fenton!” The cheerful, and loud, cry of his last name was nothing, absolutely nothing, to the harsh slap to Danny’s back that was no doubt supposed to be a ‘friendly greeting.’ “Glad you could make it out here tonight!” 

“Of course, Mr. Basco,” Danny said through gritted teeth and the ‘media smile’ Sam had helped him master because if you’re going to be a detective, Danny, then you need to know how to tell the media to go fuck themselves with a smile. Danny could almost imagine the pride in Sam’s expression when he glanced at her to share a suffering look of commiseration. “I kind of have to ask, though… Do you really think they’ll try something tonight?” 

The smile he was given, something cold and sharp and devoid of all empathy for human life, had Danny struggling to keep his own smile as he felt the art director’s hand squeeze his shoulder tight enough to leave bruises, “Danny, my boy, let me give you some advice. You’re pretty new to this game, aren’t you?”

“I, uh, yes? Sir?” Danny stumbled over his words, wincing even before the grip tightened. “I think my record already speaks for itself, however.” 

“Oh, of course!” Basco’s grin widened and it was nothing good. “The youngest detective we’ve had in quite some time, if I’m not mistaken. So much prestige and you’re only twenty-four! No, no, my boy, your qualifications speak for themselves, but, well… How many cases like this have you dealt with?” 

Buying himself time by taking a sip of his drink, which was supposed to be some expensive champagne that actually tasted awful, Danny looked around the museum he had been tasked to guard for the night. The art museum was a smaller one in their city and focused on sculptures more than paintings, but it was well-known in its own right. 

The director, Martin Basco, was also well known. Danny didn’t have any specific cases or evidence against him, but it wasn’t exactly a secret that some of the museum’s pieces came to be there through less-than-legal means. That was a fight for another day, though, and the fight Danny was supposed to be focused on had him there for a different reason. 

“I can’t say I’ve dealt with art thieves before, sir, but I just can’t imagine that they would try to steal something during a gala this size.” Danny kept his smile in place, even as Sam, dressed to the nines in a black and silver sequined dress that attracted more attention than some of the exhibits, did nothing to hide a laugh of her own. Basco, on his end, did nothing to hide his scowl. 

“And here’s where the advice comes in… Those who steal art do it for many reasons, but the largest reason is, without a doubt, for the recognition.” Well… He hated to admit it, but Basco had a point there, at least. 

If someone became desperate or crazed enough for money and hit a low enough point then they robbed a bank, but turning into a master art thief? No… A person didn’t do that for money; at least, they didn’t only do it for money. Recognition was as good a reason as any to become an art thief. 

“Mark my words, Fenton, this gala is nothing more than a beacon and those art thieves will be here tonight and will do everything in their power to filch more of my money-” 

“Your art, you mean, don’t you?” Sam asked ‘politely’ with a smile colder than ice itself. Danny was all too happy to slip away as Basco fumbled with an answer, Sam smiling as if she was about to throw him a noose rather than a life raft. It at least bought Danny the time he wanted to check on everything. 

While his department wouldn’t usually send an entire squad of police officers and a couple of detectives, Martin Basco was a big man with a big name and even bigger pockets. In their time of budget cuts and losses, they couldn’t afford to anger one of their largest donors - although that didn’t mean Danny had to play nice all night. 

Besides, it was unlikely anything would actually happen. The gala that they were at was a yearly event that was one of the biggest events in town, and half of the town itself usually showed up to dress up for a night out while acting like they had more money than they actually did. It usually ended in a few drunken brawls and fights, but that was no doubt all Danny would be dealing with that night. 

Danny was halfway through contemplating an excuse that would let him leave early so he could get back to his apartment and do something useful, like catching up on his backed up shows, when someone clipped his shoulder with enough force to knock him straight into the back of someone else, glass slipping out of his hand just slow enough that all Danny could do was swear about it. 

Slamming his eyes shut instinctively and ready for the sound of shattering glass, Danny instead heard a soft laugh. Eyes snapping open, Danny stared at the man he had bumped into - a man with much better reflexes as he had Danny’s dropped glass in hand, perfectly intact without a crack in sight.

“Careful there,” the man laughed again, his voice deeper than Danny would have expected, but his smile softening it by leaps and bounds. “Although, maybe a pile of broken glass would be a better sight than some of the sculptures around here.” 

Danny couldn’t have stopped his laugh even if he had wanted to, sound tumbling out of him as he inspected the man from his pressed suit and crisp purple undershirt to his scruffy goatee that looked surprisingly good; Danny had a feeling the man’s smile had something to do with it. Well, that and the fact that, unlike Danny, the man in front of him looked good in his suit. 

“You know, most people at least pretend to like the art until they’re out of here,” Danny finally managed, delighted at the warm, amused smile he was given in return. 

“I always rather thought there was little point to art without some sort of controversy. I take it by your reaction that you’re not here simply to admire the art?” As he was asked, Danny’s glass of hideously awful champagne was pressed back into his hand, the man’s hand slow to withdraw as fingers lingered against his own for a moment too long. “Or do you have a personal stake in the opinion of tonight’s pieces?” 

Danny gathered himself together as best he could, resorting to his only trick of taking a drink to scramble for something coherent and semi-intelligent to say. “Would you believe me if I said the answer to both of those questions were yes?” 

“I’m not in the habit of believing strangers I just ran into, but I might make an exception for you,” the other teased, a smile half-hidden behind a raised hand. Danny glanced around as unsuspiciously as possible, trying to make sure Sam wasn’t anywhere nearby. She would never let him live it down, otherwise. 

“Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty good at being the exception to things,” Danny beamed when he was sure the coast was clear. “Detective Danny Fenton. It’s a pleasure to meet someone with quick enough reflexes to save me from making an idiot of myself.” 

“Andrew Riter,” the man - Andrew - introduced himself with a wider smile. “Detective, though… That’s not something I would have expected.” 

Danny gave him a mock grimace along with a long, dramatic sigh, “Let me guess. I look too young and act too clumsy?” 

“Well, while you do appear rather young for a Detective, that wasn’t quite what I was thinking,” Andrew said softly, Danny feeling something like a shiver crawl down his spine. “A detective at a place like this, though… Something interesting I should know about?” 

“I wish,” Danny snorted out a laugh that was probably a touch too loud. He tried to turn it into a cough halfway through, but judging by Andrew’s wide smile, it probably hadn’t worked too well. “I mean, well… The art director here, Martin Basco? He thinks that there’s a chance of one of the sculptures being stolen tonight.” 

“Really?” Andrew blinked, looking caught off guard as he looked around the bustling building. Dozens of people lined the halls in their fanciest of outfits and the lighting was bright and left very few shadows to skulk around in. “I would think a night like this would be the worst time to conduct art theft.” 

“See! That’s what I said!” Danny threw his arms up, wincing as some of his drink splashed over the rim of the glass to land on his wrist. Quickly lowering his arms, and attempting to shake off the spill, Danny prayed to whatever God was out there that he wasn’t red in the face when he cleared his throat. “But, yeah. He thinks two popular art thieves are going to hit this place tonight and so that’s why I’m stuck here.” 

Danny looked away as he shook his arm as if that would dry his sleeve, jumping when hands darker than his own caught his wrist before gently patting at the spot with what looked like a cloth napkin. It was a gesture that had Danny feeling like his heart was trying to flutter its way out of his chest while also diving straight down into his stomach. 

“Well,” Andrew said softly, looking up through the fringe of his hair, as dark and untamed as Danny’s own, to meet his gaze with a smile. “Let me guess… You’d rather be watching the next season of your favorite show?” 

It took Danny a couple of tries to speak past his dry throat, but he finally managed a weak, “Next episode, thanks. I’m not enough of a heathen to be behind by an entire season.” 

Andrew laughed, a response on the tip of his tongue before it died under the sudden screaming alarms that rang throughout the building, Danny swearing as he jerked his arm back and dropped his hand down to the gun hidden under his suit jacket. 

“Get behind me,” Danny tried to shout over the noise, head jerking towards the sudden sound of a woman’s dramatic shriek and was it really the time for dramatic screaming? 

“It’s been stolen!” The cry carried over the room and Danny groaned as he resisted the urge to look anywhere near where Basco had been. He already knew he was never going to live the night down no matter what was stolen – not that the lady had bothered to scream that out.

In the seconds that passed before the building descended into absolute chaos, Danny paused as he felt his wrist grabbed. A look back to Andrew showed the man biting his lip, looking nervous as he moved forward enough to be heard over the sound of alarms, “Running off to save the day, Detective?” 

“Always seems to happen at the worst moments,” Danny managed, letting himself get distracted just enough to take a step closer to Andrew himself. “Hey, it’s going to be okay, alright? My job is to keep people safe, after all, and, well… We have a conversation to finish, so I’ll definitely be back soon.” 

Andrew blinked at that, looking caught off guard before he was laughing which, alright. Laughing during all of the alarms and screaming was kind of weird, but Danny wasn’t much better himself considering he was practically flirting during the mess. Ready to pull away again, Danny paused as Andrew crossed the rest of the distance between them, hands on both of Danny’s wrists. It was overwhelmingly ridiculous how conscious Danny was of the bands of warmth around his wrists. 

“Detective Danny Fenton,” Andrew said softly, Danny somehow able to hear nothing but him as he leaned just a bit closer. “I have to say… I almost wish it wasn’t you on this case.” 

Danny blinked, staring at Andrew in confusion before sucking in a sharp breath at the same moment he felt his arms pushed around his back and cold, familiar steel snapping around his wrists in place of the warmth that had been there. “You-!” 

“Me,” Andrew damn near purred, innocence and sweetness gone from his gaze as placed a kiss on Danny’s cheek and this utter fucking bastard art thief-! “Au revoir, mon cher. Until next time, hm?” 

Danny didn’t even get a step forward before Andrew was off and disappearing into the crowd, laughing loudly and freely and blowing a kiss over his shoulder at him. 

“Danny!” Sam’s shout of his name was the only warning Danny had before she crashed into his back, Danny just barely keeping them from hitting the floor before he felt Sam’s hands around the handcuffs keeping him trapped. “Oh- Danny, what- What happened?” Danny looked back at her, confused and worried and with Basco quickly making his way over with a look that could only be called furious. “Are these your handcuffs?” 

“Not sure, but probably,” Danny managed, looking back to the direction Andrew had gone. “But I found one of our art thieves.” 

“Apparently,” Sam laughed, a half-wild sound that was as amused as it was concerned. “I take it something happened if you’re smiling like that, though?” 

“You could say that,” Danny said, laughing himself as he felt the smile Sam had pointed out growing. “I found our art thief, yeah, but… I also found a lead. 

Andrew Riter, huh? 

This was going to be fun.

[krreader]

save me | chapter 1.

pairing: suk hansung x reader ; kim taehyung x reader (platonic) fandom: hwarang ; bts warnings: non idol!au ; alternate reality!au ; mentions of death ; language genre: angst ; fluff ; possible smut

summary: taehyung has been your best friend for so long, almost as long as he has been sick. but now it was getting worse and for some reason, the only person that has any idea as to why that is, is a lunatic that tells you it's because taehyung is connected to someone from another universe. and then you suddenly find yourself on a quest in an alternate reality, trying to prevent the death of a boy named hansung, so that your best friend could live. however, developing feelings for the hwarang member hadn’t exactly been the plan..

a/n: listen, I really didn’t plan on posting this today, but this might be the happiest I’ve ever been with any fanfiction I have written. and I’ve been meaning to write something with hansung for ages anyways so I REALLY hope you’re going to enjoy this fanfiction because it means a lOT to me. (also, bts’ save me fits this fanfiction so well, I’m crying, hence the title)

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“Hey beautiful,” he said weakly, almost as pale as a ghost, even though he once used to be quite tan.

“Hello handsome,” you chuckled and leaned down to press a kiss against his forehead, “How are we feeling today?”

“Better, now that you're here.”

Taehyung has been your best friend ever since you could remember. But it was almost just as long that he was sick. At first it wasn't impacting his life that much. He stayed at home more than other children during his school days, because he was often sick and had to visit the doctors every once in a while, but none of them ever knew what was wrong with him. They said it was the flu, a cold, an infection. Anything that they could come up with, basically.

But now he was 23 and permanently tied to a hospital bed because it had gotten so bad.

Now, they knew that the reason for his weakness was the loss of blood. But the crazy thing? There was no wound anywhere on his body. It just seemed to vanish into thin air. And even though they were giving him blood transfusions, they couldn't pump it back in fast enough, because he was losing it at such a high rate.

Doctors were at lost, even the specialists from all over the world that had visited had no idea what was wrong with him.

Some even said he might be the first to have this ‘disease’, but that fact wouldn’t help him in any way, unfortunately.

What he needed was a cure.

Desperately.

But there couldn't be a cure, if nobody knew where the disease was coming from.

And so now all they did was pump blood into him regularly and hope that he would make it for a bit longer even though everyone knew there was no chance of him surviving, his loss of blood becoming worse and worse every single day.

“So.. I brought you a new game for your Nintendo, cookies, potato chips, a new teddy, and some underwear because your mother wanted me to bring it.”

“My mother made you bring me my underwear?” he laughed, “That's so embarrassing.”

“I've seen you naked too many times for it to be embarrassing,” you smiled and sat down on his bed, “Want to go for a stroll? I'll push you through the gardens and we’ll race old Johnny from the fifth floor again?” you wiggled your eyebrows.

“Please.. it's so stifling in here.”

And so with the help of a nurse, you helped him into a wheelchair and made sure the blood bag was secure, before you pushed him out of his room.

Some days were good, like today, where he was able to at least sit in a wheelchair, others were absolutely horrible, when all he could do was sleep and try not to die.

That's how it's been for the past two months and you spent most of your days crying now, not quite believing that one of the most important men of your life was about to die soon.

It just wasn't something you could imagine, you know? A life without him.. 

So you and him just never really talked about it. Every time he brought it up that he was going to die soon, you told him that he wouldn't. Because you just couldn't see it happening. It was a stupid and naive thing to do that would get your heart broken on the day it actually happened, but you needed to hold on to that hope, otherwise you were going to break down. And you didn't want that.

You wanted to be strong for him.

If everyone else had given up hope, you wanted to be the one person who wouldn't.

“Do you have some money?”

“Why?” but when he eyed the ice cream truck that was parked on the hospital lot, you laughed and pushed him towards one of the empty tables, “The usual, then, Mister Kim?”

“Yes, please,” and even though his condition was fucking horrible, he still managed to show you his beautiful boxy grin.

And so you walked over to the truck, pulling out a few coins, before you smiled at the person on the inside, “Hey.. can I get some chocolate and vanilla please? Make it two scoops each, please.”

The guy seemed normal at first, friendly and not weird at all.

But when he turned around to look at you, he suddenly said: “Taehyung is going to die soon, (Y/N).”

At first you had thought you had misheard him say those words, but when he looked up and directly into your eyes, you realized that you probably hadn’t, “What?”

“I've never seen a connection this strong. If Hansung dies, Taehyung dies.”

“Who is Hansung? And how do you know who we are?”

“I am the only person that can help him. And you are the only person that can save him.”

Wow, a lunatic.

That's exactly what you needed today.

“Listen, I don't know what pills you took, but..-”

He pushed the cups of ice cream towards you, “When all hope is lost, the only solution is doing the unthinkable. You will soon realize that. But please believe me when I tell you that you're his only hope of surviving.”

Yeah, alright. He seemed like the kind of guy that broke out of the mental hospital. You just gave him the money and walked away with the ice cream, Taehyung laughing weakly when he saw your face.

“What happened?”

“Dude, that ice cream truck guy was so weird? He knew our names and babbled about you and a guy named Hansung having a connection or something?”

“What? And you still took the ice cream?” he immediately grabbed both of them and threw them into the trash, “Who knows what he put in there.. maybe he wants to poison us.”

True.

Better save than sorry.

Still, what he said worried you. Not just the fact that he knew who you were, but that he said Taehyung would die soon. That you were his only hope.

Crazy, right? Absolutely mental.

But when you found the napkin the guy had given you, and saw that he had written down his phone number, you didn't throw it in the trash like the ice cream, but shoved it deeper into your pockets, remembering what he had said.

'When all hope is lost, the only solution is doing the unthinkable'

“You keep letting me win,” your best friend laughed, staring at the screen of the Nintendo.

“Am not! You're just that good,” you smiled happily, “Even in the hospital you beat me at Mario like a pro.”

He knew you were lying.

And he wished you didn't have to.

Sometimes he had those moments where he didn't know why you were with him, when you should be out there and enjoying your life.

Other girls your age went out to party, have lunch with their best friends or go shopping.

You?

You spent every single day with him.

Even if you were busy, you always managed to make time to see him.

And he felt guilty for that. For taking away so much time of your life that he thought you were wasting on a dying man.

But he was too selfish to tell you that. He wanted you to be here, because he was afraid, to be honest. He was afraid he'd die alone. So each hour you were here, was a good one for him. The only good ones he had these days, actually.

“I'm scared,” he suddenly said, not looking at the game anymore, but at you, tears welling up in his eyes.

And you knew what he was scared of, because you were just as scared as he was. But you still weren't able to look at him.

“You don't have to be, Taehyung. You're not going to die.”

“I am. I can feel it, you know? I can feel that it'll be soon.”

“Stop..- stop saying this kind of stuff,” you forced a smile and nodded towards the Nintendo, “Come on, one more round, I'll let you beat me again.”

“I just keep thinking about all the things I never did. That I never will do. And then there's mom and dad and my siblings that are going to be devastated and.. and you will..-”

“I will be fine, because you won't die, for the last time.”

“Stop lying to yourself,” you knew you shouldn't have looked at him, because when you did, the tears were already running out of his eyes and a sad smile was on his face, “I'm going to die, (Y/N),” it shattered your heart, seriously.

You had prayed for a miracle. You had begged the doctors to find somebody else to treat him. You had personally called every single hospital that was specialized in blood diseases in hopes of any of them being able to treat him.

But nothing helped.

No one helped.

“I will not let you die, Taehyung. You hear me?” you slid closer to him and cupped his face in your hands, before leaning your forehead against his, “You will not die. I promise.”

For the first time since they had taken him to the hospital, he broke down.

He had held it in for so long, had tried to pretend like he had already given up on life and was now heading towards the light with a smile, when in reality he was mortified. He didn't want to die. He wanted to live..

But no matter what you tried to promise him and now matter how much he loved and trusted you, there was no way you could save him.

No way that made sense.

But there was one that made absolutely no sense.

And it was your last resort.

Your last beacon of hope.

And it would probably get you killed, but if this guy wasn't crazy, he was your only chance of saving him. And in your desperation, you called him the second you left the hospital.

“I knew you'd call,” was the first thing he said.

“Are you going to kidnap me and sell me? Are you one of those guys?”

“No. I'm not even from here. I'm a traveler, trying to help people in need.”

“God, I must be crazy,” you snorted, brushing your hand through your hair, “Tell me what I need to know to save him. And tell me what it'll cost me.”

“There is an old warehouse not far from the hospital. I'm going to send you the location. Meet me there in twenty minutes and I promise you, you'll get your chance to save your friend.”

You wanted to tell him that you would NOT go to a secluded warehouse when it was dark and no one was around, but he had already ended the call and set you the location a second later.

“I'm insane. I'm absolutely insane,” you muttered to yourself when you started walking there, already coming up with possible escape plans if need be.

But when you arrived..

..well.

“What the fuck is this?” you eyed the machine that looked a lot like a.. portal, for some reason.

“It's how I travel around,” the guy said, having you turn around in an instant, “You don't have to be afraid of me. I won't hurt you.”

“Yeah, that's what every guy says that wants to hurt girls.”

“(Y/N), do you know what an alternate reality is?” he sat down on a table, far away from you, because he didn't want to make you any more uncomfortable.

“I guess.”

Since it really wasn't what he wanted to hear, he decided to explain it to you, just in case: “An alternate reality is a parallel universe to ours. There is an infinite amount of them, where it's different versions of our world. Every time a decision that changes something is made, an alternate reality is formed. Therefor, the infinite amount. Some of these realities are connected with each other, more precisely, some people of these worlds.”

“And I take it Taehyung is one of those people in this story of yours,” because you really didn't believe it.

How could you?

“Exactly. In one of these realities, there is a boy named Hansung. He is a member of an elite warrior group in a time period that has long passed in your world. Hansung is almost a copy of Taehyung and for some reason, these two have a connection that most people don't.”

“I still don't understand how any part of your story is going to help save my best friend.”

“What do you think happens to the other when one of them dies? Do you think that strong connection will just.. disappear?”

You blinked a couple of times, trying to wrap your brain around it, before saying: “Hansung is the reason Taehyung is losing all this blood?”

“Hansung was destined to die early on his life the day he was born. That is why Taehyung has been sick ever since he was a kid. When a person who is connected to the other dies from old age, the other person won’t notice. But Hansung is going to die from poisoning and is going to lose a lot of blood. That is the blood that Taehyung is losing. Do you understand what I'm trying to say?”

“So if Hansung dies.. Taehyung dies as well. And because he is close to dying, Taehyung is too.”

“Indeed,” he took a deep breath and pushed himself off the table, “For a long time, I've been trying to figure out what makes these two what they are. Why they are connected in the way that they are. But until today, I had no idea what their connection was.”

“And now you do?” you crossed your arms in front of your chest.

“You are,” he smiled. You just didn’t know if it was a sad or a happy one and that worried you, “You are the connection that both of them share. Because as scientific as I wanted it to be, the strongest connection isn't anything chemical. It's love.”

“Love,” you snorted, “Is that so?”

“You love Taehyung as your best friend and even though I do not know what connection you are going to have with Hansung, there must be one,” he slowly approached you. When he took a step forward you took one back and so on, until your back suddenly hit something hard, “But know this. If you do not prevent his death, Taehyung is going to die as well.”

“Prevent his death? How the..-”

“I will come and get you the day after he is supposed to die,” then he suddenly grabbed a handle next to your head and pulled it down, taking two big steps back, “Good luck, (Y/N). Save them both.”

“Wait, what are you..-”

But before you could say anything, a bright light engulfed you and the next thing you saw was pure blackness.

“Shit.. my head,” you pressed your eyes shut, holding your head as you tried to sit up.

“Wait, wait, wait! Not so fast,”

“No, I'm okay, thank you,” but when you opened your eyes and found a girl dressed in traditional Korean clothing looking back at you and not one of the doctors that treated Taehyung, you let out a scream.

“Don't be so loud, or they're going to get suspicious!” she hissed.

“What.. what the hell? Who are you? And who is going to get suspicious?”

“My name is Ahro. I'm the physician of Hwarang, so you can be lucky I was the one that found you and not one of the guys.”

“Found me? Found me here?”

“Right in front of my door, actually. No idea where you turned up from. And you look really odd as well, if I might say so. Where exactly are you coming from?”

A quick look around made you realize and say: “From far, far away, apparently.”

That lunatic was right.

[fireflysinmystomach]

Without Words

Summary: Soulmate au, where the first words your soulmate says to you are tattooed on your skin but Virgil does not have any words on him.

Pairings: Analogical, Moxiety, mentions of  Logince

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Angst and some Fluff

Warnings: light swearing, self-deprecation, negative thinking, crying, brief mention of scars and disabillity 

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In this world, everyone has a soulmate. Everyone except Virgil.

You see, he is not like everyone else. He was not born with the soul mark promising that somewhere in this big, uncaring world, there is a person that fits just right. Someone that completes you and brings warmth and happiness. A compliment to your soul.

Maybe Virgil simply has no soul. How else could you explain the lack of words on his skin, that were supposed to be there from birth. The first words his soulmate would say to him should be permanently engraved on his body somewhere, but there were none, therefore he was doomed to be alone for all eternity and the only reason he could think of, why he deserved such a fate, was an absence of a soul.

His parents and friends tried to convince him otherwise, Virgil was not a bad person after all. He was not cruel or mean, maybe a little shy but other than that a normal human being.

On the other hand, even really bad people, like murders had soul marks. Why was he different? He didn't want to be.

Since he learned to write, he developed the habit of  creating his own soul mark, write sweet greetings on his wrist and pretend that they have been there since the start. He always cried, when he watched them fade under the relentless water from his shower. Do you know this feeling, when you wake up in the morning, your head still fuzzy from when you drowned your common sense in alcohol the night before and stumble into the bathroom, only to find a picture or some nonsense on your skin? You scrub until the spot turns red and aches and all the while you pray that it is not a permanent mistake? Well, Virgil felt like this every time he steps into the shower, but in reverse.

Until he was about 14, every night as he stood naked in front of his mirror, he desperately wished for the words to appear. Maybe they were just really small and he had previously overlooked them?  He wanted to be a part of this world, wanted to dream about how his soul mate would be, theorize how they would meet and ultimately be happy. But no, his skin stayed unmarked.

He couldn't tell how often he cried because of it any more, forgot how often he rushed to a window whenever there was a rainbow outside or a shooting star or anything he could wish upon. Countless times. So many dandelion seeds have been wasted on a person that doesn't exist.

At some point he just stopped. Maybe it was right before he had to blow out the sixteen candles on his birthday cake, that he decided he would accept it. No more tears, no more wishes, no more hope. The cake had tasted very bitter, that day.

So his teenage years had been spent alone. He grew to hate this faulty system, he was forced to live under. He had never done anything bad that would justify this fate. But maybe the universe was just cruel. Or didn't care about him at all. Maybe he was not supposed to exist. He was convinced, there was no happiness left for him. Everyone else had used it up and now the world had nothing left to offer for him.

He stayed convinced until he met Logan.

Virgil had been sitting in a dark corner of a library and had been lost in a book. Only as it grew dark around him and he could not see the words any longer, did he realise that he had been forgotten. His mind had been occupied with the subject matter and he had stayed until past closing hours. No one had bothered to inform him, therefore he hadn't bothered to hide the tears as he clutched the book to his chest and buried his face in his knees.

The tall, handsome stranger with sparkling blue eyes framed by thick glasses was not noticed until he had crouched down in front of Virgil and tapped his shoulder. The sobs, that had filled the empty halls immediately died down at the gentle words directed at him and his confusion got stuck in his throat.

“The Stars are millions of light years away and still, I can see them in your eyes right now.” God, how he wished to have these words on him, just like those hands offering him a tissue.

He hadn't been surprised by the poetic ring to the strangers voice, everyone tried to put a lot of meaning into the first words they exchanged with anyone, to ensure their soulmate would have something nice on them. It was permanent after all. Virgil had developed this habit alongside his friends but secretly despised it. It didn't matter what he said, no one would have to deal with his words on their skin anyway. Considering this, he found himself pleasantly surprised by the warmth that spread in his chest.

“W-well, yours look like they are filled with ocean water because they are just as deep and mysterious.”

The man had just laughed and loosened his tie, so that he was able to pull the black shirt aside and reveal the cursive words written right above his collar bone.

Virgil feared his heart would rip out of his chest with how hard it had been beating in this moment but as soon as he stranger spoke again, it stuttered and he was feeling like he was drowning in those eyes, that would never be his.

“That was way nicer than 'move nerd, I'm too pretty to die'. My name is Logan, would you like to defy this so called destiny with me and let me buy you a coffee some time?”

Virgil had been hesitant at first. He was setting himself up for heart brake with this. The Man in front of him belonged to someone else. He had his soulmate, his future, his happiness. But how could he deny his request if he was already able to feel himself falling in love?

They had their little coffee date. And many more after that. They dated for three years and both of them had felt truly happy.

They liked to stay up late together and talk about books and music and space and kiss afterwards. They knew exactly how the other liked their coffee. Logan liked a little sugar in it, so that he could consume the caffeine more quickly and effectively and Virgil always had some milk mixed into, not because of the taste but because he was always afraid to burn his tongue and the cold liquid helped to cool it down quicker.

They knew what they had to do, to cheer each other up after a particularly bad day. Logan would wrap his partner into a soft blanket as soon as he saw the hunched over shoulders and the dull, defeated look in his eyes. They would just lay in bed together, knowing that the world had been too much, too overwhelming, no words were exchanged. Only gentle touches and a calm presence shielding him from his own thoughts until he fell asleep.

Virgil had took it upon himself to brush his lips over his boyfriends neck, whenever he could see a clenched jaw, red, tired eyes and a deadly grasp on whatever was close. Countless pencils were snapped in half when Logan was frustrated, but as soon as the writing utensil was replaced with gentle hands, he could feel himself relax. Virgil would just let him talk all his anger and frustration out, occasionally nodding, or giving some small input, but mostly just listening. When they were satisfied with how clear their minds had become, they would sit down together and watch a light-hearted TV show, until Logan learned how to smile again.

It had been enough for them, even though society told them that it was wrong, that the universe had more in store for them. Neither of them cared.

At the beginning, Virgil had been scared. Somewhere out there was his boyfriends soulmate. What would happen when they actually met? He doubted that their love was strong enough to actually fight fate but Logan told him he didn't want this person in his life. He didn't want his life being dictated by some invisible, nonsensical force. He told him, that with Virgil, he felt like he was in control for the first time in his life and that was better than anything this so called soul mate could offer him.

Virgil had believed him, had allowed himself to be vulnerable. He finally trusted Logan completely the day they got matching tattoos of their first words together as a last 'fuck you' to the universe.  

The universe did not like that.

The day Logan met Roman, Virgil found himself crying again.

“I already said that I am sorry! Why wont you listen to me?” The taller man had brushed the hair out of his face with a frustrated huff and watched as his boyfriend stuffed his things into a bag.

“Because you promised, that this would never happened! You told me I was enough and I believed you, Logan!” Virgil didn't know where he would go, he just knew he had to leave.

“Virgil, you don't understand, I can not do anything about this! Roman is infuriating and self-righteous and loud and yet I want to be close to him. It's like we are magnets, complete opposites who attract each other. Neither of us has a choice in that matter but that doesn't mean that anything I said to you is invalid. I still love you, Virgil, it's just that Roman is... he is...”

“He is better than me.”

Virgil stopped talking altogether after that. He moved out of their shared apartment and lived a quiet, lonely life, never looking up, always with music filling his ears.

Even though he could not be mad at Logan for too long, he didn't want any more first words in his life. He had left his heart with the man with the ocean blue eyes and Virgil was certain he could not survive something like this again.

For the longest time he just wanted to disappear from this cruel, uncaring planet.

It was a sunny day as he was forced to talk again. The sky had been without clouds for a few hours now and Virgil was sitting in a park under a tree, just listening to music and watching the birds dance in the air. Do birds have soulmates as well or are they free from this kind of burden, just like they are free to fly high above all of this?

A young man with a bright smile and pale, sky blue eyes appeared in his field of vision. He was holding a bright yellow sunflower out to him and urged him silently to take it. It didn't matter how much Virgil was shaking his head, the man was not backing down from his plan.

With a deep sigh, Virgil took of his large headphones that practically screamed 'leave me alone' and parted his lips. “I don't need your sunshine, please just leave me be.”

He watched as the flower dropped to the ground along with the smile on the strangers face. Only now could he see the faint scar wrapping itself around the man's throat. He first thought he had upset him but before he could say something else, the blue eyed man made hasty gestures with his hands and practically started bouncing up and down. It was quiet adorable, to be honest, if not utterly perplexing.

As Virgil shook his head in confusion, a notebook was pulled out, scribbled upon and shoved into his hands.

'Hey, I'm Patton and I can't talk but we are soulmates! It's so exciting to finally meet you!'

Virgil stared at the loopy handwriting and red the sentence over and over again until drops of something wet fell on it and smeared the ink. At first he had thought it was rain, but just like the strangers eyes, the sky was still cloudless.

Careful fingers cupped his face and lifted it up so that he could look at them again. Patton pulled at his shirt and revealed a few words in messy handwriting sprawled onto his shoulder blade.

With shaking fingers, Virgil traced the words that had just left his mouth on the soft skin.

Another note was handed to him. 'You looked kinda sad so I wanted to make you smile with one of my flowers. I hope you can accept my sunshine now.'