#pregnant amelia is the cutest

[reiderwriter]

hi i love your writing

could you do something with reid loving that reader is pregnant. fluff or smut or both

A/N Hello! Thanks for the request! Dad!Spencer is the cutest thing on the planet so this is some unapologetic fluff. And now I have baby fever.

Warnings: mentions of pregnancy, idiots in love. Loosely based on Haley and Hotch's conversation in 1x1. Very fluffy and probably very cheesy and sentimental too... Sorry, you give me girl dad Spencer and suddenly there isn't an impure thought in my head, I just want to lovingly stare at him like I'm the dead wife in an action movie montage.

My requests are open, check out my masterlist for more 🌸

“Okay, what about Amelia?”

“No, Amelia Dyer, Victorian serial killer. She killed multiple infants over a thirty-year period.”

“Okay, okay, how about, Myra?”

“Myra Hindley, she and her partner Ian Brady abducted and killed five children and teens in the early sixties.”

“God, not that then. There can’t be a psychopathic murderer called Belle, right?”

“You’re making this too easy for me, y’know. Belle Gunness, Hell’s Belle, she’s one of the most prolific female serial killers of all time, even 100 years after her supposed death. It’s fascinating, you know, people think that she actually faked her death - when the doctor who performed the postmortem testified, he noted that the cadaver was about five inches shorter and about fifty pounds lighter than Gunness supposedly was….” You raise a single eyebrow at your wonderful husband, and he immediately shuts up.

“I’m rambling aren’t I?” He smiled down at you as you sat curled up as much as you could in your favorite spot on the couch, the cosiest part of your shared apartment. You smiled back up at him as he leaned down for a kiss and you gladly craned your neck up in response, meeting his lips for a sweet moment.

“Hotch was right you know,” you joked when the two of you parted. “All of the best baby names have been taken by serial killers.”

“Yeah, you’d think with the ratio of female to male serial killers, a girl would be easier to name.” He leans down to kiss you again before falling into a crouch next to you, resting his head on your shoulder and placing his hand on your stomach.

“How big did you say our little girl is now?”

“Y/N, you asked me that half an hour ago. I know pregnancy messes with your brain a bit, but if you’re that bad we’re going to have to get you back to Dr Patel and see if you’re doing okay.” He was joking of course, but you showed him your little pout anyway, knowing that he loved seeing the silly expression on your face.

“Humor me, Doctor.” He strokes your stomach and moves away, but not too far away, taking up right next to you on the couch, and pulling your legs over his lap.

“At five months, she’s roughly 10 inches long with a weight of about 0.5-1 pound. But that ‘How Big is My Baby’ book would say that she’s roughly one banana in length.” You giggled up at him and he grabbed your hand and just held it, content to have you in his arms in any way, big or small.

“I can’t believe it’s been five months already,” you giggle as he presses another kiss to your hand.

“I get it. It doesn’t feel quite real yet to me, either. I thought for so long that fatherhood just wasn’t in my future, but you’re the gift that keeps on giving I guess. I don't know what I did to deserve you.” Even if the words weren’t so sweet, with all of the hormones, you would’ve started crying at anything. Or at least that’s what you’re going to tell him when he sees the small tears threatening to drop into enormous loving sobs.

“Spencer Reid, I am not a gift. I am simply the woman with the correct combination of sense and foolish luck that got to marry you.” He’d done this before, and you were used to his small habit of self-deprecating talk, but after a year of marriage and three years of dating before that, you’d managed to work him down to the occasional comment.

“Don’t try to argue about this, I’m definitely the one benefitting the most from the situation right now,” he joked with you, and you could see the genuine adoration shining from behind his eyes. It was a little spark that not many got to see, a glimpse of true happiness in someone usually so reserved.

“Spencer, you’ve given me foot rubs everyday this week, you’ve read more pregnancy and parenting books than every OBGYN and midwife in the area combined, and you’ve somehow attended more of my clinical check-ups than me, and I’m the one whose pregnant.”

“And you’re growing our child inside of you, which is itself more impressive than anything I could ever do with a book and some modern acts of chivalry.”

“Yeah, tell your boss that. I think the only thing keeping Emily from pulling her hair out over your constant absences is that she thinks she’s competing for the title of godmother. She thinks Penelope and JJ are trying to corrupt me with parenting advice and all those baby clothes Pen keeps bringing over.”

“She’s going to be crushed when she remembers we’re not religious, right?”

“Devastated,” the two of you shared a laugh on the couch, and it quickly devolved into a giggle fit after Spencer leaned over and tickled your side. You jolted away from his touch, but he was on you again, attacking your sides with small caresses, and you were gasping for breath between laughs.

“Spence stop- ahh!” Your squeals stopped as you cried out in shock. It was small but you felt something tap against your stomach. Spencer stopped immediately upon seeing your expression change, and a serious look settled on him as he assessed you for any damage.

“What’s wrong? Did I hurt you? Are you in pain anywhere, is the baby okay?” He shot out the questions rapidly, one after the other, barely leaving space to catch his own breath from the laughter of earlier.

It happened again and you put a hand to your stomach, finally realising what’s going on.

“I think I just felt her kick. Spencer, I think I just felt the baby kick.” You couldn’t help the wide grin that spread across your face, as much as you couldn’t help the tear that dropped from your eye as your hand rested against your belly again, scared to move for fear that the baby wouldn’t communicate with you again.

“What? Now? Can I- Can I try and feel it, too?” His hands hesitated at first but when you enthusiastically nodded and used your other hand to put him close to yours, you could feel his eagerness to feel the small kicks of your daughter as well.

Almost as if she was waiting for him, as soon as his hand was in the right position, your little girl kicked again, almost as if screaming “I’m here mommy and daddy,” for the two of you to hear.

“I think she’s trying to tell us not to have fun without her,” Reid whispered in your ear, kissing your tear streaked cheek, and using his free hand to rub them away from the other side of your face.

“I am so thankful everyday for this gift you have given me. And for the record, the gift isn’t the baby. The gift is the overwhelming happiness you bring to my life, and the beauty you make me see in this world. The fact that you’re going to be the mother of my child gives me the confidence to get up and go to work every morning because I know that there is joy and there is kindness and there are beautiful people in this world, and you are one, and she will be, too.”

His attempts to dry your tears are now completely vanquished as you let your emotions run wild, but you almost laugh when you realise that his eyes are just as glassy as yours, and you both sit there, overwhelmed by the pure, unadulterated joy that a small kick from a child who has yet to be given a name has bought you.

[loveamelink]

Rewatching season 16 for pregnant Amelia and Amelink serotonin :’)

[andysbubba]

hello there! i just discovered this song called “emily” by james arthur and i was wondering if i could please request a dad! chris with that song? just him bringing his new baby girl home and him loving her 🥺😩 very softie right now tbh! thank youuuu x

daddy and emily

↳ chris getting some daddy-daughter time with emily

---

walking dodger! em's milk is in the fridge. be back soon. you got this, papa!

ps; i left my phone here on purpose ;)

Chris freaked out for a moment, instantly realising that he's alone with Emily. He has never been alone with his little girl. At least not without you being somewhere in the house too. But now? You're nowhere near and Chris has no way of contacting you if anything happens. He's scared shitless.

Just on cue, the little girl starts blinking her eyes open and a soft cry leaves her lips. He takes a deep breath, calming himself down before he picks Emily up and cradles her in his arms.

"Good mornin', pretty girl." Chris says softly, leaning down and pressing a soft kiss on her head with a smile on his lips. "Daddy's here, baby. I got ya, okay?"

His heart warms when a tiny smile peeks out on Emily's lips, her eyes glinting and her small hand is wrapped around Chris' index finger. He leans down, and kisses her hand, watching as his little girl grins wider at the action.

"Lets go heat up your food and wait for mommy to come back with your brother, alright?"

He knows she doesn't understand what he's saying but you've always said that Em loves his voice and loves hearing him talk. And if that will stop Em from crying, Chris is willing to do anything.

---

He's holding his girl up, palm rubbing her back so he can get her to burp. Chris doesn't really know why but you've always done it so he figures that it should be important.

"C'mon, baby. I dunno why I'm supposed to make you burp but mommy has always done it, hasn't she?" He laughs breathily when Emily giggles softly at his words. "You're the cutest, sweetheart. Just like your mommy, huh?"

"You think mommy's tryin' to test me? She's taking a long time walking Dodger, isn't she?" He chuckles softly when Emily finally lets out a quiet burp. He holds her against his torso and Emily's cheek is pressed against his chest. "I'll be honest, Em. Daddy's pretty scared you're gonna cry, so promise me you won't, okay?" He gently caresses her back, hoping to calm her down.

He regrets his words immediately when Em's face cramps up, scrunching into a frown before a loud cry leaves her lips. Chris' eyes widens, instantly pulling Em up and closer to him.

"Oh no, baby. It's okay, sweetheart. I'm sorry, daddy shouldn't have said that, huh?" He holds her, pressing soft kisses on her forehead. "Should I try and sing for you, baby? Is that gonna make you feel better?" His voice was soft when he turns Emily around and cradles her in his arms. Chris laughs lightly when his little girl calms down, staring up at him and sort of waiting for him to sing. He clears his throat with a smile.

Dear Emily I really wanna write this carefully Know that we're a family It's only you, your mom and me Dear Emily We're gonna live forever happily I'm gonna ask your mum to marry me But there's some things you need to know

He has no idea what he's doing but Emily stopped crying so Chris figures that he's definitely doing something right.

Poppa was a rolling stone playing in a sold out show, yeah Taking all the highs and lows, been living with an empty soul, yeah And if you ever read the things they wrote, I hope that you can let them go I was living in a different world before I had my little girl, yeah Emily When I hear you cry I'll sing you back to sleep Do you know you inspire all my melodies? 'Cause you make me a better man than I'll ever be, ever be, ever be Because of you, Emily Dear Emily I saw you way before you came to me 'Cause I picked out your name and wrote it on paper I needed life and life came and gave me Emily Will I be good enough for you? The truth is I'm afraid of everyone and anything that could hurt you

Chris didn't even register the front door opening. He's too enthralled with how peaceful his daughter looks with her eyes fluttering close. But he keeps on singing the lyrics of your favourite song that you're always playing on repeat. He doesn't know who sang it but he has always felt that he could relate to the lyrics.

Oh, Emily If you ever feel lonely, just sit next to me Since we brought you home with us you're everything 'Cause you make me a better man than I'll ever be, ever be, ever be Because of you, Emily, yeah Oh, you're all I'll ever need, baby You're all I'll ever need, oh no, no no, no When I'm looking at your tiny feet I feel your heartbeat here inside of me I feel a love that I just can't believe

He's used to being in the public's eye. And he had a pretty wild life before you and Emily came into his life. The first time he saw a picture of the ultrasound and it truly dawned on him that he's having a daughter with the love of his life, Chris cried. It was easily one of the happiest days of his life.

He knows at that exact moment- there's nothing he wouldn't do for you, Emily and Dodger. His little family.

He sees some sort of movement from the corner of his eyes so Chris instantly turns, seeing you stand there and guiltily holding your phone up, seemingly recording his whole lullaby session. Dodger was obediently sitting by your side, so Chris has a feeling that you told Dodger to be quiet before you two came in.

"How long have you been standing there?" Chris asks quietly, a smile growing on his lips before he stands up from the sofa, careful not to move his hands too much so Emily stays asleep.

"You're the best dad, bubba."

He leans down when he's close enough, pressing a kiss against your lips and he rests his free arm around your shoulders. "You left your phone on purpose?"

You giggle softly at his question before you lean down and softly kiss Emily's cheek. "Thought you might need some daddy-daughter time. So I brought this guy out." Your hand reaches down and rubs Dodger's fur, laughing when he nuzzles into your leg.

"I'll go put this little one in her cot then we can have breakfast, okay?"

You hum as Chris leans down and presses his lips against your forehead before he turns around with Emily in his arms and going up to Em's nursery.

Chris sets Em down in her cot, arranging the pillows and the small bears so she's comfy. "Y'know, little one." Chris starts, hand reaching down and brushing Emily's hair off her face. "I've got a little ring hiding in the drawer." He whispers, leaning close to his daughter and kisses Emily's hair. "Once you wake up, daddy's gonna take the ring and ask momma to marry me, okay?"

---

i have no idea what's up with me and babies lately– i swear to god i cannot stop thinking about being pregnant or like just carrying a baby jebdusbhssh 😭😭😭

thank u for reading! like comment reblog and follow if you wanna hehe <33

taglist: @milea @ajeff855 @fanofalltheficsx @justile @christowhore @amelia-song-pond @melissad1974 @thegirlwiththeimpala @bval-1 @suchababie @ephemeralfics @franzliszts-wife @tenaciousperfectionunknown @worksby-d @hallecarey1 @paintdripsandbrownies-blog @notbrooklynsblog @perfect-peter @alwaysclassyeagle @coffeebooksandfandom @gitasor @mansaaay @iguess-vall @feralherbs @kaiparker-avengerssmut

[huggybug]

welcome home - brock boeser

word count: 1.2k words

series masterlist

“Brock Boeser better get his ass off that ice and get over here!” You screamed to nobody in particular as the girls swarmed you. They had taken you down to the tunnels when your water broke, hoping the period would end before you desperately had to leave but that didn’t exactly work out. Going to a game 9 months pregnant might not have been your brightest idea.

“Okay look, you’re going to go with Amelia and I’ll wait for Brock because I am not letting this baby be born in Rogers Arena” Sophia Hughes instructed and you nodded before letting Amelia drag you to her car. You hoped Brock would be close behind you but you weren’t sure.

…

“Hey Josh! How much time is left?” Sophia asked one of the equipment managers who gives the perfect answer of 30 seconds. Waiting near the locker room where they usually aren’t allowed but she would pounce on anyone who told her to leave, Sophia waits until the boys are coming down the hall, rather pumped that they’re up 3-0 going into the third. Quinn sees his wife pacing the hallway and panic immediately fills his body.

“Baby? Why are you down here? Where are the kids?” His brain is short circuiting and it’s hard to not laugh at his frantic eyes.

“They’re upstairs with Holly. Bri’s water broke I need Brock” Quinn nodded and ran back to fetch Brock who then comes out of the locker room, equally as confused.

“What’s up? Quinn said you needed to talk to me?” Of course leave it to Quinn to make Soph deliver the news.

“Bri’s water broke and Amelia took her to the hospital, they just texted me and said they’re checked in and she’s all good” She sped through it so he didn’t freak out too much but it didn’t really work.

“What? Bri- I gotta go! No the game? Holy shit!” Brock’s head was whipping around, trying to figure out what to do.

“Talk to coach, I’ll drive you whenever you can leave okay?” Brock nods and dashes back into the locker room. Luckily since they were winning by so much, Brock was allowed to leave.

…

He made it. He was on time and everything was fine. The baby was here and he was the cutest, chubbiest baby you and Brock had ever laid eyes on.

“We won” Brock mumbled as he fell back into the bed beside you, careful not to jostle you too much since the baby was sleeping soundly in your arms.

“Mhm he is pretty perfect huh?” You smile tiredly.

“I meant the game. 4-1” You roll your eyes but the smile stays anyway. “The guys want to come by”

“Sure, not like we have any other plans for tonight” Brock kissed your forehead before pulling his phone out to tell the guys it was okay to stop by.

…

“Uncle Broccoli?” You laugh when you hear little Ella’s voice ring out as the door creaks open. The entire Hughes family files in with the Horvats and Petterssons following close behind.

“Hey babe, how are you doing?” Amelia comes to give you a hug before gushing over your new son.

“Surprisingly not too horrible” Quiet chatter fills the room as everyone gets their first looks of your son.

“So... what’s his name?” Elias asks and you look up at Brock, wanting him to announce it.

“Dylan Michael Boeser” You smiled at the sound of your sons name that was easily picked by you with little fighting from Brock.

“That is the most adorable name ever!” Sophia gushed as she talked to him.

“Can I please see now?” You could hear Grace speak up and Elias moved to pick her up which then led to everyone grabbing a kid so they could see. Soon there were five kids dangling from their parents arms, all gazing at baby Dylan.

They all stayed around for a little longer before leaving since the kids all had to go to bed. Brock left shortly after as well, needing to shower and change since he didn’t get the chance to after the partial game that he played. You spent the time soaking up Dylan and then getting some rest.

…

“Ready to go in?” You took a deep breath before checking Dylan was okay in his carrier and then grabbed Brock’s hand. He led you up the stairs and into your house where your friends were waiting. Inside, balloons and presents were everywhere along with a banner that said ‘Welcome Home Baby Boeser’ which hung above the tv.

“You guys didn’t have to do all this” Tears we’re brimming in your eyes and you weren’t sure if it was because of the postpartum hormones or because you were really that touched.

“We absolutely did, it’s a tradition” It was true. Starting with Will, the group gathered for each baby’s homecoming as long as everyone was in town, if they weren’t, there was a party held the moment everyone was back home.

You let Brock take Dylan over to the couch where the other kids were sitting, desperate for some baby cuddles and you followed the girls into the kitchen. “So are you already fed up with it?” Sophia asks and you laugh.

“Nope, Brock’s been great. He stayed awake with him so that I could get some sleep” Brock was made to be a father. You knew as soon as you saw him with his friend’s kids that he was going to be a great dad one day.

“I honestly have more faith in him than I did in E” Amelia giggles and Sophia agrees, piping up about her nervousness when it was Quinn’s first time being a father.

“The boys are all probably just waiting to get him up on skates, you’ll have a handful pretty quick babe” Holly smiles. She was right, you knew Gunnar was up on skates pretty young as was Will; knowing Brock, as soon as Dylan is able to stand, he’ll have him on the ice.

“I’ll need lots of wine when that day comes”

...

Eight months later, Dylan makes his first appearance in Rogers Arena. You’re surrounded by the girls and their kids who are all squealing for their dads when they skate over but your eyes are dead set on Brock. He skates over and the smile on his face is the biggest you’ve ever seen.

“Hey buddy” Brock’s voice is muffled through the glass hut you hold Dylan up a bit closer so that he can actually see his dad. His hand reaches out as Brock presses his against the glass. You watch as Brock just stands there and waves to Dylan, little giggles falling out of the boy like crazy. The pure joy on both of their faces convinces you that this is exactly what you had been waiting all those years for. You have the perfect little family with the perfect guy and there was nothing else you could ask for in this moment. (The Canucks winning 3-1 that night was an added bonus)

[itsallyscorner]

hey love ❤️ i hope you’re doing good and healthy but i was wondering if you could do a little mix!reader after she gave birth to tom and her’s child. maybe when the girls meet their niece or nephew

💌

The World’s Greatest Aunties

Pairing: Tom Holland x fem!reader, Little Mix x fem!reader

Summary: The girls finally get to meet Baby Holland for the first time.

Warnings: none, spelling errors?

A/n: Hey darling! Thank you so much for the request, I’m so sorry that it took so long. I took a small break from writing Tom fics and writing in general because I needed to recharge the author part of my brain😭😂 I was lacking motivation to write but I’m back now! Thank you again for the request and I hope you like it!💞

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

(Pinterest)

✧───── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *. ☽.* :★. ─────✧

Five pairs of eyes peered over the bassinet, a twinkle of admiration in each one. The house was quiet except for the low hums of the music that played softly in the living room. Occasionally, they would hear the light clicks and taps of Tessa’s nails against the floors. The five of them were quiet, letting out a little coo here and there when the tiny bundle in the bassinet fidgeted.

“I can’t believe you actually made a baby.” Leigh-Anne whispered, cautiously steadying her voice at a quieter tone. You all nodded, agreeing to her comment.

You glance at Tom, who was stood beside you, “We weren’t even planning on having a baby. Someone’s pull-out game was just very weak.”

Tom’s mouth gaped at your statement, a false offended look on his features. “Well, you weren’t complaining while it was happening.”

“Did you really think I’d be in the right headspace to realize how bad your pull-out game was after being railed to the bed?” You quizzed him, standing up straight and placing your hands on your hips.

Jesy’s eyes shifted between you and Tom, “Are you two really talking about how irresponsible you guys are at sex in front of the baby you both made—because of irresponsible sex?”

“But isn’t she the cutest outcome of irresponsible sex?” Perrie cooed, leaning closer to the opening of the bassinet. Tom smirks at you before slinging his arm around your shoulder, “We made a beautiful baby, didn’t we?”

“Don’t flatter yourself Thomas, I’m sure Amelia’s 90 percent (Y/n) and 10 percent you.” Jesy comments, earning her some chuckles from the rest of you except for Tom. Though they’ve know each other for years, and he’s proved himself worthy of you, that still didn’t stop Jesy from giving him a hard time. Of course, all the petty arguments were all in good fun. He’s been slowly growing on her anyway.

“Well she’s definitely got (y/n)’s lips.” Leigh-Anne observed, admiring the sweet baby from above. You leaned your head on Tom’s shoulder as you watched Amelia scrunch her tiny nose.

“But her nose, without a doubt, is Tom’s.” You point out, watching your baby snuggle into her blanket.

“Honestly, you know how some babies are just not cute when they’re first born?” Jade began, voice remaining in a whisper. A few sounds of agreement were heard amongst you all. “Amelia’s probably one of the most cutest newborns I’ve ever seen, and she’s only a few weeks old.”

Tom’s lips morph into a soft smile as he leans back down towards Amelia, “She’s gorgeous isn’t she?” His large hand creeping closer to his daughter to brush his fingers along her chubby cheeks. Though the contact of his cold digits made her jolt, causing a sob to bubble out her small body. Tom gasped, turning around to give you an apologetic look. Before the girls arrived, you had put Amelia down for a nap so she wouldn’t be fussy once the girls were over. You were planning on waiting till she woke up to properly introduce her to the girls, but things don’t always go as planned, do they?

“Oh no!” Perrie cried, moving out the way so Tom can gather Amelia into his arms. Tom held her against his chest, shushing her and slightly bouncing his body to ease her wailing.

“I’m so sorry, sunshine. Daddy didn’t mean to wake you.” He apologized, genuinely feeling bad for waking her up from her nap. He whispered comforting words into her ear, not phased by the fact that she couldn’t even understand him yet. He pressed kisses on the crown of Amelia’s head, trying to calm her down.

“Look at that, she even got your vocals too.” Jesy hummed, smiling at the crying baby against Tom’s chest. You laughed, stretching your hands out towards Tom. Just by the gesture, he knew what you meant. The two of you have only been parents for almost a month now and every single day it seemed like you were both picking up new habits—specifically parental ones. It was like the start of your relationship again, you were leaning new things about each other, but this time as parents.

“Aww, c’mere darling, momma’s got you.” You cooed as Tom helped you place her against your chest. Her tiny head was snuggled into the crook of your neck, the warmth coming from your skin soothing her. You had a hand under her bum while the other was rubbing circles onto her back. Slowly, her cries softened until they were replaced by her cute baby gurgles.

“Are you crying?” Perrie asked. You turned around to see who the question was directed to. Only to find Jesy wiping her eyes and fanning them with her hands. She shook her head trying to brush off Perrie’s question.

“Babe,” you called out to her, “Why are you crying?”

You body gently swayed side to side, trying to entertain Amelia. You all looked at Jesy, an amused yet concerned expression on all your faces. When she felt like her tears weren’t about to spill from her eyes, she tilted her head to look at you again.

“I’m just—you’re an actual mother. Like look at you, you’re so grown up.” She sniffed, eyes watering up again. Jesy and the rest of the girls were just a few years older than you. Being the youngest of the group, they’ve always been protective of you and viewed you as their younger sister. They watched you grow up into an amazing woman, watched you fall in love with Tom, and now here you were—as a mother. The sight was quite emotional.

“Aw Jess.” You walk closer to her, using one of your arms to embrace her. Jesy chokes on her laugh, “No! Don’t hug me, you’re gonna make me cry even more.”

You ignore her protests and continue to wrap your arm around her neck. Jesy allows the hug to happen, wrapping both her arms around your waist.

“It’s okay, I cried a few times too.” Tom tells her comfortingly, handing her a tissue from over your shoulder. She takes it, thanking him quietly, and dabbing her eyes. You hear some more sniffles around the room. Breaking your hug with Jesy, you look around to see Perrie, Jade, and Leigh-Anne with glossy eyes.

“Guys...” You sigh.

“It just sunk in that you’re a mum now. Like you need to take care of another human being and help them become a person and all that.” Jade summed up, blinking away tears. Tom took it upon himself to wordlessly pass around tissues to the four women in the room.

Leigh-Anne came up behind you to move your hair over your shoulders, “You’re gonna teach her so many lessons about life. You’re gonna be the first person she’ll always look up to and her first best friend—I’m so excited for you.”

“I have life lessons too, ya know.” Tom interjected, slightly raising his hand. Jesy glances at him and scoffs, “You have the body of a twelve year old and you cry in movies for a living. What could you possibly learn from that?”

“I don’t cry in all my movies.” He defended himself.

You move your head to look at Tom, “Darling, you’ve literally cried in four out of the five Marvel movies you’ve been in. That speaks volumes.”

Jade’s eyes shifted between Jesy and Tom, “I thought we were having a sentimental moment, how did we go from that to hating on Tom.”

“Because, he’s Tom.”

Tom crossed his arms, squinting at you all, “You know, I thought having Amelia would make you guys like me more—but no, I just can’t catch a break from you lot.”

A joyful sound emitted from Amelia, catching everyone’s attention. The girls cooed and awed at the new member of their little family.

“Oh hello precious!” Perrie squealed leaning down beside you so she can see Amelia’s face. Your baby’s eyes were wide as she stared at the faces crowding above her.

“D’you guys wanna hold her?” The girls eagerly nod, bodies filling with excitement. You handed Amelia to Jesy, showing her how to properly hold your newborn baby. With her new niece’s head resting against her shoulder, she feels her heart swell with joy.

“Oh my, she’s lovely.” She whispered softly, her hand cradling Amelia’s head. She ducks her head to get a closer look at her face, chuckling when she sees the combination of you and Tom on Amelia’s features. Jesy catches a whiff of the newborn baby smell radiating off of her—you know, that light weight baby powder-ish smell?

“And she smells so good!” Jesy announced enthusiastically. Perrie frowns, “I wanna smell the baby.”

“Too bad, you can’t.” Jade teases, poking fun at Perrie’s inability to smell. Jesy passes Amelia to Perrie, who makes grabby hands at her before wrapping her arms around Amelia’s tiny form.

“I’m so sorry for exposing you to the media.” She tells the baby, a chorus of laughter following her apology. Perrie gently pokes Amelia’s cheeks with her finger, “Your cheeks! I just want to squish ‘em and smother you with kisses!”

“I think you’ve had enough time with the baby, my turn!” Leigh-Anne jokes, holding her hands out for Amelia. Perrie carefully hands her to Leigh-Anne, who instantly melts once she holds Amelia against her.

“I want one now.” She whines.

“Ask Andre, I’m sure he’ll give you one in no time.” You wink at her, gesturing to the ring on her left hand. You honestly wouldn’t be surprised if she became pregnant anytime soon. Leigh-Anne took her time holding Amelia, basking in the cloud of baby fever she was currently experiencing. Your daughter was then passed onto Jade, who was thrilled to show her niece all the gifts she had bought her.

You all watched as Jade ventured towards the couch, kindly asking Tom to fetch the large bag that was at your entrance alongside the piles of packages from your family and friends. Ever since you and Tom brought Amelia home, there has been a never ending amount of gifts being delivered to your home. The items ranged from clothes, toys, to diapers, and baby bottles. Your house was practically filled to the brim with baby supplies.

Jade settles on the couch; adjusting Amelia so she can cradle her with her arm and using her free hand to pull out gifts from the bag. You and the rest of the girls sit around her, while Tom looked over the couch behind you.

“You guys really didn’t have to get us anything, just being here and letting us share this moment with you is enough for me.” You expressed, Tom agreeing with you. Jade simply brushed you off, “Oh hush up, let us spoil Amelia. She’s going to be the sixth member of our band, so we need to make sure she’s got the best clothes to look like her mummy and aunties.”

Jade proceeds to pull out a bunch of Disney themed items out from the bag. “Oh you’re gonna love this, I found a bunch off onesies that were princess themed—look!” Jade held up the hanger of multiple Disney onesies for your daughter. “Look Amelia, there’s one for every princess!” You couldn’t help but let out a laugh when Jade began to show every item she bought for Amelia.

Your and Tom’s jaws dropped when she pulled out a Minnie Mouse headband made for babies.

“That is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen, lemme see.” Tom held his hand out towards Jade who handed him the headband. You watched adoringly as Tom inspected the headband, looking at it with fascination. He caught your stare and proudly held up the head band, “Baby, we’ve gotta take her to Disney.”

“Oh, we definitely are, don’t worry.” You assure him, making him proudly fist the air. Without any of you noticing, Jesy slipped out the room to get the gift bag she left out at the entrance.

“I’ve got something too!” She sang entering the living room. She sat back on the couch, Jade passing Amelia to her once she was comfortable.

“Alright, ya ready precious?” Jesy asked Amelia, who grabbed at the bag with her hands. Jesy took her hands in hers and helped Amelia ‘take out’ the tissue paper from the bag.

“Since I know your parents are two of the biggest Harry Potter nerds, I decided to get you this because I know they’ll flip.” She explained before pulling out a baby Hogwarts costume.

“Jesy!” You gasped, leaning in to get a closer look at the clothes.

“They have Harry Potter merch for babies?” Tom exclaimed, rushing to stand behind Jesy’s part of the couch. He began to ramble, asking her where she bought the clothes and if there were more.

Jesy held her hand out to stop Tom from talking, “Wait, wait—WAIT, Jesus Thomas, you’re more excited for these clothes than your daughter.”

Tom shrugged, “Well she can’t express any feelings yet, so I’ll do it.”

“Here.” She passed the costume to him making him cheer. “The costume came with another thing actually.” Jesy took out a baby Hogwarts robe, making you gasp again.

“It comes with the robes too?” You asked in disbelief.

“Yeah, it was an entire set!” Jesy proudly answered. Tom ran his hand along the robe, touching the soft fabric. He let out a squeal, “I love it!”

“Tom darling, the clothes are for Amelia, not you.” Perrie teasingly reminded him. Tom brushes off her comment, “(Y/n), we could all dress up as Hogwarts students for Halloween! We could match costumes!” Tom was practically buzzing with excitement, not allowing you to give him a response.

“Thank you Jesy, it’s nice to know that you have a soft spot for me.” He bumped his fist against her shoulder, which she glared at.

“I don’t have a soft spot for you, twit.”

“Yes you do, you knew I liked Harry Potter.” He held up the Hogwarts costume, “And you got Amelia a baby Hogwarts costume. You went out of your way to give us this gift. It’s enough proof, Jes.”

“I got it for (Y/n).” Jesy argued.

Tom crossed his arms, “Just admit that you like me.”

“No, you’re a menace.” You all watched the exchange between the two. A goofy grin was on his face as he spread his arms out, “I’m gonna hug you now.” Before Jesy can respond, Tom had wrapped his arms around Jesy. She groaned, squirming in his grip.

“Thank you Jesy!” He sang, taking the piss out of annoying her. She smacked his arm, “I get it. Now get off, I’m holding your child!”

Tom lets go with a smile on his face.

“She likes me.” He mouthed to you, motioning to Jesy. You shook your head at him, chuckling.

The girls continued to give Amelia their gifts. Perrie got her a bunch of classic children’s books and some toys. Leigh-Anne had given you a diaper bag and a “mommy and me” set of clothes. You were instantly obsessed with the matching sets, now you and your baby girl can have matching outfits. The night was full of the girls passing Amelia around and playing with her. She hadn’t cried for a single second, happy with the attention she was getting and constantly being held. There was no doubt that she would sleep soundly tonight, much to your and Tom’s content.

You watched as the girls circled around Amelia in the living room. Perrie was currently holding her, talking about how she couldn’t wait to spoil her with all the cutest baby clothes and toys. You overheard them talking about all the things they wanted to teach her; like how to sing. A smile had crept its way onto your lips without you noticing. Suddenly a pair of arms wrap around your waist.

Tom presses a kiss onto your shoulder and rests his chin on it, “You know she’s the luckiest baby in the world? And I’m not just saying that because she’s our child, but she’s really lucky. We’re very lucky.”

“We are, aren’t we?” You hum, leaning your weight against his chest, something he happily welcomes.

“She’s got two amazing parents. That’s us.” He squeezes you and continues his list, “She has grandparents who already love her, a bunch of protective uncles, and the world’s greatest aunties in her corner.” He finished, gesturing to the women in the living room. Yeah, you guys were lucky.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

🏷Tags ↴

*if there is a cross through your username, tumblr won’t let me tag you:(*

Little Mix!Reader tags

↪︎ @waxingmoonwrites @slutforsebstan @starslazyandcosy @xkonpinkx @dummiesshort @gypsystuf @kielemarie @wroetospidey @thatgirlangelb @have-aheart @adayasgeorgia @xeniarocks @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @agustdowney @itssmadelyn @imthebadguyyy @tomsirishgirlx @roseke @kaylans-imagines @bi-lmg @holsj2411

Tom Holland tags

↪︎ @lovableparker @aprettyfleur @sunwardsss @dummiesshort @thotforcriminalminds @cuddlykoala101 @itstaskeen @whoslili @white-wolf1940 @tomsirishgirlx @roseke @kaylans-imagines @spideyspeaches @slutforsebstan

General tags

↪︎ @quxxnxfhxll @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @thegirlwiththediary @agustdowney @bi-lmg @rqmanoff @sesamepancakes @stardustofreading @dracoswhore007 @amourtentiaa @alyssathesoftie

[saturnsstufff]

Hey Saturn when your free and got time could you pretty please do some dad Sam headcannons or a short fic, whichever you'd prefer! I just feel like we all need some dad Sam headcannons cause the discord got me thinking about him🥺 dad Sam my beloved

-👀

Honestly he is so fresh in my mind as soon as you sent this I had to write.

Amelia- Awsamdude

   Sam was such an amazing person. I mean genuinely, the man worked so hard for everything. He made sure the house you two had was comfortable, he worked hard hours at the prison, all well still experimenting with Redstone. But no matter what, he always made sure to shower you in love and affection. He never wanted you doubting your place within his heart.

   Being his girlfriend, and fiancé was short lived to say the least. He wanted to marry you so bad. Calling you his, and only his, was such a high honor to him. After settling down into the comfort of a new chapter in life, you both did start to notice something feeling off or missing. It's said a lot like that, but Sam and you just genuinely felt a little off, and lonely without a little extra spunk.

   So naturally when he climbed over you, and suggested maybe bringing a baby into the world, you both broke into wide smiles. It was genuinely the cutest thing ever. He was so happy that you were the mother, well you were happy he was the father.

   When you told him you were actually pregnant, he couldn't contain his pure joy and excitement. He had wanted a family for so long, just something he could call his own. He wanted moments with his children like their first Christmas, Easter, ect. He also wanted the little moments in between them.

   He knew pregnancies were hard, and he apologized the whole nine months. although he knew the ending was oh, so worth it, the track there was rough. But he adored every trimester you went through. What started as a adorable little bump, turned into something he could gently lift and hold for you.

   His favorite thing ever, had quickly become the moments you laid against him in bed. With his hand on your stomach, rubbing gentle loving shapes, as the two of you rested your heads together. Loving the soft gentle moment you always shared. He always made you feel so safe, and you always clamed his nerves, relieving any stress held from his day.

   He was one of those dad's that just adored your tummy. He always had a hand or his hands on it. Wanting to just feel close to his child and you. Of course he would also lay his head on your lap and talk to the baby bump. Saying he couldn't wait to meet his little bundle.

   When the baby was born he was in love. It was an adorable baby girl, curled up ever so small within your arms. Sam loved the name Amelia, finding it perfect for his little darling.

   Well you recovered, Sam was the most perfect dad ever. He never failed to get up at night if Amelia was fussy. Her little cries always cut short at the sight of her strong daddy coming to get her. He would lay her on his chest and rock so gently, singing softly and humming sweet lullaby's so she could sleep peacefully.

   You would often catch him slipping back into bed from one of the nightly cries. His arm slipping around your waist tightly. Pulling your body close to his. You couldn't help the smile that graced your lips when you nuzzled his chest. Of course he nuzzled into your neck, finding comfort with your soft presence.

   One particular day would always stick out to you. Sam had been working long shifts at the prison, now that dream inhabited the prison he took his job very seriously.

   But because of his long hours, Amelia and you have been left alone. Sam didn't want to be gone from his two girls of course. But he also didn't want to leave dream alone.

   Luckily one night he came back early, and trust me you were very thankful. Amelia wouldn't stop crying, she just wanted her dad. The crying was starting to take a toll on you as well. As soon as your armor covered husband walked in, you literally cried. Throwing your arms around him you sobbed into his chest. Overwhelmed from being too tired. Of course Sam was shocked and worried when his first interaction home was his wife sobbing into his chest.

   "Baby... Hey... Is Amelia ok?..." he asked softly. Gently rubbing your back, wanting to calm you down.

   “I.. I don't know! I.. I've fed her, and she doesn't need to be changed! Even when I hold her she cries!" Your tear stained face looked up at him. His face was only showing kindness, gentle eyes looking into your tear filled ones.

   "Baby... baby, its ok..." he took your face into his hands softly. Gently rubbing your cheeks, wiping away your tears. He pressed his lips to your forehead, offering soft moments to you to try and ease your worries. "Go ahead and sit down a moment, ok?..." he asked gently. When you nodded as a answer he kisses your forehead once more. Letting his hands fall from your face.

   He wondered into Amelia's room, his boots heavy on the wooden floor. As soon as her father came into view she reached out for him. Her little legs kicking away.

   "Hey... hey now... I herd my Little Girl was causing momma problems..." He said softly. Picking her up into his arms. With gentle rocks he walked back out to you. Ami cuddled into his arms, her crying now dying down. He offered his hand out to you. His other arm easily holding your baby. "Lets get you a bath love..." you nodded and got up, taking his gentle yet firm hand.

   Sam always knew what to do for you and Ami. Well you relaxed out in the freshly drawn bath. Sam had Ami layout on the bed. Her wide Grey eyes looking up at him with wonder as she tried to fit her foot into her mouth. Sam only chuckled at her cute actions. "What do you think your doing there? Feet aren't very yummy" he mused, setting his armor aside. Instead of pulling a shirt on, he just scooped Ami up resting her on his chest. With her cuddling down against him, he smiled at her. Every time he looked at her he saw you, and that only made him love you both more.

   When you stepped out of the bathroom you simply head for the living room. Feeling much better now that you had a moment of peace, clothing wise Sam's left over T-shirt acted as a perfect nightgown. When you found Sam, the sight was utterly adorable.

   Sam sat on the couch, laid out completely relaxed. On his chest, Ami laid completely asleep. Her soft cheek pressed to Sam's chest, his heart beat offering a soft loving tune. His hand was rested on her back, above the blanket that laid over top of the two cuddle bugs. Although his eyes were closed he wasn't asleep, with the soft pad of your feet he opened his eyes. Gazing up at you with adoring eyes.

   "How was your bath, baby?" He asked softly, moving a bit of the blanket for you. You crawled onto the couch by him. Nuzzling and resting your head on his shoulder the three of you all cuddled down.

   "It was long needed... better if you were with me..." he smiled and kissed your head. Taking in all the affection he was receiving.

   "We can always take one together again... maybe when Ami isn't so fussy..." he muttered, his thumb rubbing over Ami's tiny back.

   "She really missed you..." you said, looking down at your sweet daughter. Sam's arm snuck around your waist, pulling you tight against him.

   "Well I missed you both..." Sam said softly. No matter what he always found peace with you both. With both his girls. You two were the one thing he would give everything up for. You, his wife, the one person he confided everything in, and Ami. His daughter, the daughter made of his flesh and blood. He loved you both more than words would even begin to explain. No matter how fussy she was, it was moments like this that made up for it. Sam turned his head to face you, his lips pressing together a moment before he spoke. "I Love you (y/n)..."

   "I love you too Sam"

[buckyswintersoldiermask]

Swing Set Memories

Dad!Steve Rogers x fem!reader

Steve Masterlist

Summary: You and Steve take a trip down memory lane, remembering when you told him you were pregnant.

Word count: 558

Warnings: none just fluff

A/N: my friend gave me this idea and I thought it was the cutest thing. So :))

(y/d/n): your daughter’s name

Steve was out in the backyard of your cozy little home outside of Brooklyn, working on a swing set for your daughter (y/d/n). You were sitting in the living room with her while she watched Sesame Street.

“You stay here and watch Elmo, I’m going to go give daddy a drink.” You said, getting up and heading to the kitchen. You grabbed the pitcher of fresh lemonade and poured Steve a glass. You took it to him outside as you assessed the progress he’s made.

“Seems like you’ll be out here for a long time.” Steve laughs as you hand him his drink, “surprisingly putting together a swing set is a lot harder than fighting aliens.”

You gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and turned around to see your daughter outside.

“(y/d/n) Rogers. Didn’t I tell you to stay inside.”

“I wanted to see daddy.” Your daughter replied, looking at you with innocent eyes. You couldn’t be mad.

“Come here, sweetheart.” Steve said, putting down his drink and holding his arms out to your daughter. She ran to him and Steve lifted her up into the air.

“I’ve been trying to work on your swing set. I might have to call your uncles to help.”

You smiled at Steve and your daughter. She was definitely a daddy’s girl. And Steve was the best dad in the world to her.

“I remember when I told you I was pregnant.” You recalled, thinking of when you told him.

You were working a normal desk job and Steve was still an avenger. So when you found out you didn’t know how to tell him.

“Steve, I have something to tell you.”

He took you into a room so you could talk in private, and he waited for you to speak.

“I’m pregnant.” You blurted out. Steve’s mouth dropped open in shock, which at first worried you.

“You’re pregnant?” He asked to confirm.

“Yes.”

“Oh my god! I’m going to be a dad!”

You felt relieved he was happy, but you knew he had to make some changes before the baby was born.

“You have to be alive to be a dad.”

“I know, I’ll retire soon, I promise.” He said, cupping your face before giving you a hug.

“I remember. You had me running to the store almost every night because of your cravings.” Steve said, smiling down at (y/d/n).

“It was the least you could do, I carried her for over 9 months.” You exclaimed, tickling your daughter's stomach. “Then she came out looking like you.”

“But she has all your personality.” Steve defended, making you smile. Your daughter was a mini you in personality but looked exactly like Steve.

“Retiring was the best thing, I wouldn’t have what I have now if I was still working.” Steve smiled, leaning over to give you a soft peck on the lips.

“Steve Rogers. Former Captain America, now husband and father to one.” You held your arms out to your daughter so you could take her back inside.

“Let’s go back inside and watch Elmo so daddy can finish your swing set okay?” You told your daughter as you walked back inside your house.

Steve on the other hand was dialing Sam’s number,

“Hey Sam, do you know how to build a swing set?”

Likes, reblogs, and comments are appreciated :)

Steve Tags: @ragnaroqk @mollysolo @fredweazleyswh0re @mogaruke @whothehellisbuckybarnes @amelia-song-pond @tinylumpiaa @verymuchgivingyes @stephthepeach @ttalisa @supremethunda @gamerartisy @qhbr2013 @afraid-to-be-me @jbreenr @teti-menchon0604

Taglist

[trinrose3]

Idk why but maternity overalls are probably the cutest thing a pregnant person can wear agsgs

My wife has a few and she is rocking (and filling out holy shit the baby is huge) them!!! I just know amelia would have a few pink ones 🥺🥺🥺

We literally have the same fucking brain RGSHRSH. I saw a photo of those when looking at refs for that Lorenzo I drawing I did and I could NOT stop thinking of her in a pair 😭😭. Did not think of the fact that I could make it pink tho tTETHETNBET

LOOK AT HER 😭😭😭

[doc-pickles]

that was our place, I found it first

in which alex and jo both struggle with their new realities and that overwhelming sense of deja vu....

hey hi hello this isn’t new (it’s been on AO3 for a hot minute) but I hadn’t shared it here so enjoy. and everyone say thank you to olivia rodrigo.

It’s three weeks into his stay in Kansas when the weight of his new reality hits him square in the chest. He’d wrangled both kids inside and sent them to wash up, quickly changing out of his scrubs before meeting Eli, Alexis, and Izzie at the dinner table. He’s about to ask how the day has been for everyone but he’s stopped dead in his tracks, the words slipping from his mind.

“Hey, you're invited to Mer's for Thanksgiving.”

“Really?”

“I'm invited and, uh, I'm bringing you.”

“The attendings are gonna be weird if I'm there.”

“No, they're not.”

“Just go without me. We'll meet up after.”

“You think I wanna be there if you're not.”

“You're sweet.”

“Okay, screw it. How about we get takeout chicken and eat it in the car like we were raised to do?”

“I think I love you.”

“Yeah, yeah, settle down.”

The sound of his daughter’s voice brings Alex back to the present, eyes moving from the platter of fried chicken in the center of the table to Alexis who’s staring at him in confusion. He quickly plasters a smile on his face, making a joke at his daughter’s expense that makes both children giggle loudly. Dinner passes by quickly and soon both kids are off to bed, visions of a bright eyed brunette intern closing Alex’s mind as he cleans the kitchen.

+

“Auntie Jo!”

The exclamation from Zola sends all three Grey Shepherd kids hurtling across the room to wrap their arms around Jo’s legs. Struggling to keep her balance, Jo let out a laugh as she listened to each child bombard her with questions. She hadn’t seen them for almost two months so the attack was unavoidable but not unwanted as she let the kids contagious joy bring a wide smile to her face.

“Hey, glad you could make it,” Link appeared in the doorway of the kitchen, Scout wriggling in his arms. “I’m not much of a cook but there’s fresh coffee and donuts. I got them from that place that’s on...”

Link’s voice faded out as Jo’s eyes settled on the pink bakery box behind him, the children clinging to her forgotten as her mind drifted.

“Cheers to an incredible day. You deserve it. Actually, I helped, too. So cheers to us.”

“Hey, powdered sugar's your favorite.”“Yeah, no. This is great. Thanks.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“So it’s been a long morning around here,” Link, oblivious to the far off look in Jo’s eyes, finished his thought off before turning back to his friend. “Can I get you some coffee? You look tired, no offense.”

Jo nodded her head, shaking off the last foggy visions of the supply closet from her mind as she hoisted Ellis onto her hip, “Coffee sounds perfect, thanks Link.”

+

“You know, maybe we should just head down to the courthouse, make things official.”

Alex’s head snapped up from the bowl of cereal in front of him, eyes wide as he stared at Izzie who was packing lunches for Eli and Alexis. Her comment was nonchalant, eyes not even leaving the lunch bags in front of her as she continued the thought.

“It might make things easier than going through a big fuss, plus it’s close to the hospital so it wouldn’t be super out of the way,” Izzie finally looked at Alex who was staring at her in shock still. “What do you think?”

“I don’t even know if my divorce has gone through yet, I think getting married is jumping the gun a bit Iz,” Alex forced the words out of his mouth, heart pounding loudly as Izzie began to laugh. “What? What’s so funny?”

“I meant go down to the courthouse to get you on the kids paperwork,” Izzie stifled another laugh as Alex let out a breath of relief, his heart rate coming down significantly. “Geez, what kind of backwoods tacky idea is a courthouse wedding anyways?”

Alex’s mind began to drift as visions of vampire teeth and fake blood on a day not too long ago filled his mind.

“For better or worse...”

“For better or worse.”

"...for richer or poorer...”

“For richer or... pregnant.”

“What?”

“I'm pregnant.... Ha! Scared you! I got you so good.”

“Wait. You're not pregnant?”

“No. Oh, my God, you should've seen your face.”

“... so I told Jenny we’d swing by around 8,” Izzie looks expectantly to Alex, who’s coming out of his mental dog and still staring into his cereal bowl. “Alex? You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine,” his eyes flit to the living room where Eli and Alexis are playing a game, loud peels of laughter coming from them. His heart twisted for a moment, picturing Jo between the two children playing along with them as if it were the most natural thing in the world. “Yeah I’m good.”

+

“You’re just the cutest baby in the whole wide world aren’t you,” Jo’s voice was a soft coo as she rocked a drowsy Scout in her arms, the loud voices of his cousins outside drowned out as they stood in the living room. “You’re gonna be handsome just like your daddy and so smart like your mama. I don’t know what those two are gonna do with you.”

“You’re a natural you know,” Jo’s head popped up, meeting Amelia’s gaze as she leaned against the doorframe of the living room. “He won’t even fall asleep for Maggie.”

“Well Auntie Jo just has the magic touch,” Jo pressed a finger against Scout’s cheek, the infant curling closer to the new source of warmth. “Maybe that’s why OB sounds so appealing, all the babies I get to hold and love on since I’m clearly not having any of my own anytime soon.”

A low chuckle left Amelia as she crossed the room and grabbed Scout from Jo, the little boy nuzzling into his mother’s chest contentedly, “Don’t count yourself out. I wouldn’t put it past you to become a mom sooner rather than later.”

Jo watched Amelia walk towards Scout’s room, her mind thinking back to a time when having her own kids wasn’t just a far off dream.

“I'm ready. I mean, let's do it. Let's make a baby, right now.”

“Are you out of your mind? We’re not having a baby!”

“I want to have kids with you. I love how much you care for Kimmie, and it really makes me want to have kids with you. And if it's okay with you, I would really like to take your last name. Because I've never had the last name of anyone who's loved me.”

“I'm sorry I talked about kids on our honeymoon. It was stupid. It was just... you were talking about the future and snow stuff, and it just popped into my head. Like, I could see our kids playing in the snow, having fun, which is... You know, kids, snow. It makes sense.”

“Alex, shut up, please. I-I have an idea, a big idea, and I love you, and I will love all of our children, or at least one child eventually.”

“We're in the baby hat place? Are you pregnant and you didn't tell me?”

“She asked me if we wanted kids, and I said yes because we do. And she's making the hats extra big because I had an extra big head.”

The thoughts in her head overwhelm Jo, heart beating erratically as she collapses onto the couch in a fit of tears she hadn’t realized were falling. Eventually Amelia comes back, silently bringing Jo into her embrace as her tears fall. She doesn’t know how long she sits there crying, begging any higher being that would listen for Alex to come back so they could have the family they so desperately wanted.

+

“There’s a storm brewing! Expect two to three days of nonstop rain and wind in the North Eastern Kansas area, this storm is not letting up.”

Alex’s eyes floated to the window of his office, the news report blaring from his laptop fading as he focused on the rain hitting the glass. He’d lived in Seattle for a large majority of his life, he should be more than used to the sight of rain. Instead though the water dripping down reminded him of another storm years earlier, a storm that changed his life.

“Listen, I have to tell you something.”

“No, you don't.”

“You don't even know what I'm gonna say.”

“I think I do, and you shouldn't.”

“Jo…”

“I'll mess it up, Alex. I mess everything good in my life up, and... we work as friends really well, and... and I don't wanna mess that up.”

“You won't mess anything up.”

The memory fades from his mind as a knock sounds on the door of his office, one of his attendings hurtling questions at him a mile a minute. Jo’s bruised face and beaming smile haunt his thoughts for the rest of the day though, the feeling of her lips on his haunting him as he attempted to keep his head screwed on straight.

+

“Watch out Seattle! Another super soaker is in the area. Local officials are advising everyone to stay off the roads until this storm passes. If you have an emergency or need to leave…”

“Great, we’re going to get the whole of Seattle’s dumbasses in the ER tonight,” Bailey’s voice broke Jo out of her trance as she stared at the TV in the attendings lounge, fingers absentmindedly twisting the necklace around her neck. “Wilson, keep an eye on the NICU for me. If the power goes out we’ll need to keep an eye on those babies.”

Jo nodded, leaving the lounge in a daze as her mind brought up her first Seattle superstorm and a night not unlike tonight that changed everything.

“Last night, before the tree, you asked me a question. You wanted to hear me say the words. So I'm... Saying them right now.”

“I don't hear anything.”

“Shut up.”

“Okay, but…”

“I'm... I'm serious.”

“Fine.”

“I love you.”

The words still echoed around her, the storm drowned out by the look on Alex’s face as they finally shared a kiss that felt like it was years in the making. That night changed everything for them, it started them off on a crazy eight year rollercoaster that despite its tragic ending Jo wouldn’t change for the world. As she walked the halls of Grey Sloan she was reminded of countless memories between them, their whole relationship playing out in the hallways of this hospital. A light feeling settled in Jo’s chest, the memories for once bringing a smile to her face instead of sending her into a crying fit. Maybe that dreaded sense of deja vu wasn’t always a bad thing…

[woah-were-halfway-there]

For a concept, Auston trying to teach Mia how to skate for the first time?!

A/N: ok, so I was actually going to include this scene in an upcoming part of Just What I Needed, wrote some of it, didn’t love it and then scratched the idea entirely lol. But, you made me want to bring it back from the graveyard that is my google docs and so I finished it and don’t hate it hahaha. Hope it does what you were thinking justice!

Word Count: 2.1k

"You must be joking."

"I assure you that I'm not," Auston replied with a massive grin as he took what looked like a standard shoebox, but you knew better than assuming they'd be something as simple as a pair of shoes with the large CCM logo printed across it. "These are for Mia."

"Auston, she's two," you told him, not being able to keep yourself from smiling at how excited your husband seemed.

"I know, but she's a freaking walking machine, babe. I wouldn't be surprised if she picked up on skating pretty quick too."

At that, you had to laugh because he had a point.

It was the middle of March, and your now two-year-old daughter was all over the place. She loved moving and just being active in any possible way she could. With you being 25 weeks pregnant, it was sometimes tough to keep up with her. But luckily, Auston could, and you weren't even surprised that he'd try teaching her how to skate as soon as he felt she was ready.

"Could you bring her to practice tomorrow, please?" Auston asked, breaking your train of thought. "I haven't told the guys yet, but once we're done, I figured I could try skating around with her a bit and see how she likes it."

"Of course," you told him and pushed away from the doorframe you were leaning against. You then walked further into the kitchen, going right up behind him and wrapping your arms around his middle before leaning against him and placing a soft kiss on his shoulder as you watched him unbox the skates. "How do you know these will fit her?"

"When I took her downtown last week, we went and got her sized for them," he explained, still grinning as he looked over his shoulder at you and leaned down so he could peck your lips. "Then, I ordered a custom pair. I also got her a helmet."

"So extra. But at least you're making sure she's protected," you teased and rested your head against his shoulder as you waited to see what the skated looked like.

Needless to say, you were impressed.

They were a classic pair of black skates, but also the tiniest and cutest pair you had ever seen. The ordinarily white patches that were on the skates were red on these and were paired with a set of light blue laces, coinciding with the two colours Mia had been claiming to be her favourites as of late. But that wasn't what really caught your eye. What stood out the most to you was how the tongue's inner part on each skate had a little AM stitched into them.

"AM?" You asked and glanced up at your husband, expectantly.

"Amelia Matthews," Auston said proudly before closing the box and turning around in your hold so that he could wrap his arms around you. "What do you think?"

"I think they're adorable," you told him honestly. "She's going to love them."

"I guess we'll find out tomorrow," he responded and leaned down to catch your lips in a much longer but very sweet kiss. However, the moment was short-lived when a rustling noise sounded through the monitor that was sitting nearby on the counter, followed by Mia's groggy voice calling for you. "Looks like our girl is up from her nap."

"Looks like it," you agreed and stood on your tiptoes to place one more peck on his lips. "She doesn't know you're home yet. Wanna go surprise her?"

"Always."

~*~

The next day around the time you knew practice would be ending, you and Mia headed to the Ford Performance Centre to pick up Auston. Mia was very excited to see her dad, Mitchy and the other guys, but you were looking forward to seeing how this whole skating lesson Auston had planned would play out.

Once the two of you went inside, it was obvious the guys were just finishing up and would soon be getting ready to leave. They were all huddled up, going over some final things, when a distinctive noise sounded over the guys' muffled chatter on the ice.

"Daddy!" Mia exclaimed excitedly as soon as she spotted Auston, loud enough for everyone to hear. And it wasn't long before Auston's previous sombre-looking demeanour melted away at the sight of his daughter.

Everyone laughed before accepting that it was now the end of practice, and there was nothing else to go over for now.

Auston then skated over to the boards as you set down the bag with Mia's skates in them and other belongings on the bench before turning back around to face your husband.

"Hi, Mini," Auston greeted as he took Mia from you and kissed her on the cheek, making her smile widely before wrapping her arms around his neck and hugging him.

"Hi, daddy."

Auston then looked back at you and leaned over the boards to peck your lips. "And hello to you too."

You rolled your eyes at his cheesiness but couldn't keep yourself from blushing a little bit. It was ridiculously easy for Auston to get those butterflies that resided in your stomach to flutter like crazy, and he knew it.

Just as you were about to say something back, another voice ruined the moment as they approached.

"Miaaaaaa!" Mitchy exclaimed as he skated up to them, holding his arms out so that Auston could pass his goddaughter to him, not stopping at all, just taking her and skating around a bit as she giggled and clung on to him.

You and Auston watched the two go, grinning widely before he turned back to face you and winked.

"You're looking mighty fine today, Mrs. Matthews," he flirted and leaned against the boards again, smirking at you. "That's a nice hoodie. Where'd you get it?"

"Your side of the closet," you replied and winked suggestively. "Looks better on me, anyways."

"You're not wrong."

A moment later, Mitch returned with your daughter but didn't give her back as more guys came over to say hi to her.

"Whaley, mommy," Mia said as she leaned against Mitch's shoulder and pointed towards her stuffed whale that was resting on the bench beside everything else. "Please."

"Are those skates?" Mo asked as he nodded towards the bag as you moved it to grab the whale and handed it to Mia.

"They are," you confirmed, making all the guys standing nearby light right up.

"No way," Mitchy said as he held onto Mia's whale so she wouldn't drop it. "Are you going to try skating Meems?"

"Uh, huh," she replied before waving to Freddie as he skated over too.

"Well, this should be good," the goalie said as he came to a stop and reached over to ruffle Mia's curls.

"We'll see how it goes," Auston chuckled and took Mia back from Mitch. "C'mon, baby girl, let's get you laced up."

You watched with a smile as he came off the ice and set Mia down on the bench so that he could put her skates and helmet on for her. The guys just about melted over how freaking cute she looked wearing skates for the first time, Mitchy even going to the extent of grabbing your phone from your hand so that he could snap a couple of pictures as Auston finished tying up the first skate.

"You better send those to me," he told you firmly as he handed the device back.

"Yes, Mitch, I will," you responded with a pointed gaze. He then glanced towards the other guys, who were now closer to Auston and Mia, before leaning near you and lowering his voice a bit.

"How're you doing?" He asked and gave you a sympathetic look.

"I'm ok," you told him honestly. "I've been feeling better lately. Just trying to take it easy, so this little one doesn't give me any more troubles."

You then smiled at your cousin and rubbed a hand over your growing belly, making him smile too.

"Good, please keep me posted about everything. I worry about you, and if you ever need Steph or me for anything, we're only a text away."

"I know, Mitchy. Thank you."

Before he could say anything else, Auston was picking Mia up from the bench and taking her onto the ice, which soon captured all of his attention again.

"Steph's going to be so mad you didn't tell her this was happening," he stated before skating off towards your husband and daughter.

A slight feeling of panic washed over you because you knew Steph would most definitely not be impressed by you not telling her that Auston was trying to teach Mia how to skate for the first time but then figured sending her some videos would make up for it.

However, even that plan was soon scrapped when another set of footsteps approached and soon enough, Steph herself was brushing past you.

"Can't believe you were going to let me miss my goddaughter skating for the first time," she grumbled as she set down her bag and grabbed her phone before walking towards you and giving you a sideways hug. "But hi, I missed you. Feeling better?"

"Much," you told her with a chuckle and returned the hug before nodding towards the ice. "Missed you too. Are you ready for this all to go down?"

"Yes!"

The two of you then leaned against the boards, side by side and started recording as Auston set Mia down on the ice.

"Daddy," she gasped nervously as she slipped a little bit once her blades touched the slick surface, but Auston was still holding on to her.

"It's ok, Mini," he told her. "I got you; just keep your feet down. I won't let you fall."

He then started pushing off the ice slowly and continued holding her up as the two glided across the ice together. She wobbled a bit, but the longer they did it for, the steadier she became. And she was having the best time going around like that with all her guys out there with her.

Eventually, Auston let go of her once he was positive she could stand in the skates on her own without falling. He stayed level with her, though, ready to catch her if need be as they moved onto the next part of the so-called lesson.

"Ok, baby," Auston started as Mitchy sat on the ice in front of her, no more than two feet away with his arms extended towards her. "Try to get to Mitchy."

"Ok!" She replied excitedly and went to take a step towards him, but slipped and increased your heart rate. "Woah!"

But Auston caught her, causing you to let out an audible sigh of relief as Steph snickered from beside you.

"Told you I got you," Auston told Mia as he helped her stand upright again, then got down on the ice too just so it'd be easier to catch her again, which everyone knew was inevitable. "Always."

For the next ten minutes or so, she tried to make it across the small space that separated her from her Mitchy. She wasn't too successful, which was to be expected, but she gradually became more confident and was genuinely having fun.

Mitch moved a little bit closer as they were getting ready to wrap it up for the day, and on Mia's very last try, she managed to shuffle across the ice into Mitchy's arms.

The other guys, who were now joined by Will and a few others, had skated away a little bit and were gathering pucks left from practice all stopped to watch her final attempt, then cheered and hollered as they watched her do it.

"Yeah, Mia!" They all yelled before quickly skating over to them again, not leading up on their cheering as they approached your very excited toddler.

"I did it!" She squealed happily and smiled at each of her guys as she held onto Mitch so she wouldn't fall.

"You did!" Mo said while taking her from Mitch and sat her on his shoulder as he began skating around. "We'll make a hockey out of you, now won't we?"

"Only if she wants to," Auston chuckled as he stood back up and skated towards them to take his daughter back. "Good job, Mia!"

The way she was absolutely beaming as Auston held her close again, and she immediately clung onto him as he skated back towards the bench had you feeling so happy, it was unexplainable.

You loved everything about your little family and those who have become the most important to your little girl. It was moments like those that reminded you just how loved she was. And that thought alone made everything seem right.

[lonelier-version-of-you]

That was a pretty good episode! It actually felt somewhat like old Holby again. Not as much as the episode where Henrik found out about Ollie’s PTSD did, that was proper Holby from start to finish (and the only episode to feel that way since Essie’s death... hell, if not since Joseph and Faye’s comeback in 2019), but you could see glimmers of the show it used to be tonight.

I still think Billie being as far gone as she is without anybody noticing until now is ridiculous. Okay, people are really unobservant about pregnancies in soaps, I accepted that after Eva on Corrie. But surely the hospital staff would have found out Billie was pregnant one way or another when she was first admitted? Seriously, surely they would have?

Her and Henrik’s scenes were so much fun to watch, though, that I could sit back and ignore that particular suspension of my disbelief for the length of the episode. Guys, I ADORE Billie. She is the most teenage girl-y teenage girl ever. All my hopes for Stepdad Henrik have absolutely been fulfilled. Her pretending to be in pain so she could be Henrik’s patient and use doctor-patient confidentiality to stop Henrik from telling Russ about her pregnancy was so goddamn funny. And Delainey Hayles is fantastic in the role.

I am sure a lot of people will start moaning that Henrik is “too smart” to be manipulated by Billie like that, but sorry, no, fandom, he’s not. It is absolutely, 100% in character for him to be tricked by her like that. He is a very intelligent doctor but his social skills absolutely are as rubbish as they were made out to be tonight. Deal with it.

I see they’re still going really hard on the “Russ is an overprotective dad” thing. I do wish they’d ease up a little on that. We get it. Russ is overprotective of his kid while Henrik wasn’t in his kid’s life at all. It would be a better and cleverer contrast if you stopped shoving it in our faces every 5 seconds, Holby.

Anyway, Billie explaining that she was adopted makes me really think they’re actually going the route my out-there theory said: that she’ll end up giving up her baby for adoption, and a couple will offer to adopt it... and then it turns out that couple is Amelia and Eli. It’s going to happen, guys, I’m telling you.

I also really loved Henrik worrying for Billie’s safety and making sure her baby’s conception was consensual. See, that was in character. That is the Henrik I know and love. Not the version of him who brushed off the trafficking and rape of two teenage girls like it was nothing the other week. This is the real Henrik. That moment alone did a lot for his, as TVTropes would call it, ‘character re-railment’.

Also the way Henrik looks at Russ is just the cutest thing ever. He is utterly head over heels, and it’s adorable.

And Henrik being completely unable to lie to Russ made me laugh. More evidence for the autistic Henrik essay, if I ever get around to writing that before the show ends. It actually kind of reminded me of Dylan on Casualty a couple years ago after he found out Lev was cheating on Faith, and he was utterly useless at lying about it.

Fletch is still here. And they’re almost certainly shoving Flac in last-second. Sigh. Having said that, I appreciated seeing an actual medical storyline tonight. The show actually felt like a medical drama again (well, a medical drama/soap opera hybrid, but it’s been one of those since... well, not quite the start, but certainly since many years ago), instead of a run-of-the-mill soap opera that happens to be set in a hospital, which is what it’s felt like since at least 2018.

Also, if there’s one thing I took from tonight, it’s that Rosie Marcel does the political speech scenes a lot better than Alex Walkinshaw. I miss Ric/Hugh Quarshie, though. It always used to be Ric who got these kinds of stories, and he suited them well.

And whyyy do we need last-second Flac. Whyyy. They never had chemistry in 2017/2018 and they don’t have chemistry now.

Poor, poor Nicky. God, I don’t even have anything to say on her storyline, my heart just... breaks for her. Belinda Owusu’s incredible acting only serves to make her scenes sadder. :(

I loved the Dom and Sacha interactions. That felt really old-school Holby. Sacha’s lab coat was great if you ask me. And does anyone know what the music Dom was listening to was? He has really good taste.

All in all, a decent episode. We’re in the home stretch now, with only 9 episodes left, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little sad, even if the show has been a shell of itself for a very long time. I may not miss the show, but I’ll really miss the characters.

[honeyhenry]

Barbecue Babbles

the request: Dad!Tom- his daughter says her first word (dada) when they’re at a family gathering? Thank youu

A/N: once again this could’ve been a blurb but it’s 1.4k words and i’m not even sorry about it lol

warnings: just fluff!

The Holland family summer BBQ was a decades-old tradition, which you first learned when you turned up with Tom after just 4 months of dating. His family have told you since then, that not just anyone is invited to these barbecues, so even all those years ago, they thought you were someone special. Reserved only for family and close friends,  it was the perfect time to catch up with everyone, and get that all important annual photo of the whole family.

This time last year you were very pregnant - almost ready to pop - and now, you and Tom arrive with your little girl in tow. She’s 10 months old now, and the apple of tom’s eye. When she pairs her own big brown eyes with a little pout, Tom would go to the ends of the earth for her. Little Amelia Holland had her Daddy wrapped around her little finger.

Tom has dressed her in a sweet white summer dress, decorated with little strawberries, and he holds her close while you make your entrance through the wooden gate to the spacious back garden where a football was being tossed around by some Holland cousins and brothers. The dessert in your hands smells rich and moreish, and you walk close beside Tom, who is holding his own little pudding, sweet Amelia, with the all-important baby bag slung over his shoulder.

“Hey, now we can get the party started!” you hear one of the boys cheer as they all make their way over to you. Once upon a time, they’d be hugging you and Tom, picking you up and messing around. But now?

“Come and see Uncle Harry, Amelia! Hello my little Meems!” Within seconds both the plate of cake and Amelia had been taken away by the boys, who were honestly more fascinated with their sweet niece than the cake.

Turning to Tom, still surprised at how quickly you’ve become baby-less, you see him pout. “I’m afraid we’ll always be old news now, my love” you take his hand, intertwining your fingers and kissing his pout away, hoping that it reassures him.

“I know, i just hope they're careful with her. She’s still a baby” he worries. You know that as long as Amelia’s not in your or his arms, that he’ll be watching over her like a hawk.

“Now now, we know she’s in good hands, it’s your brothers and Harrison. Besides, it’ll give us a chance to be me and you again, not Mum and Dad.” With a final peck to his lips you walk off to speak to your mother-in-law, hoping to have a conversation that doesn’t involve one party spitting up on the other. (Both you and Tom - and Harry - have been spit up on - it’s as though it’s Amelia’s favourite party trick).

Tom thinks about going and joining the chat with his Dad and older cousins around the barbecue but how is he meant to stay away from his baby girl? Looking over, he sees her pull at his brother’s hair, grinning when he hears her sweet melodious giggle as Harry yelps comically. Amelia’s little white socks already have pieces of grass stuck to them, and Tom knows that tonight you’ll all be travelling home minus a baby sock, or two.

“Right give her here Harry, she wants to see Uncle Sam now!”

“No it’s my turn! You guys see her all the time, it’s Uncle Harrisons turn, yes! Much better than silly Uncle Harry with floofy hair”

“Hey!” Harry indignantly says as sam takes her next

“I bet she can say Sam way quicker than any of your names, can you say “Sam” Meems?”

The three boys wait in expectation. Much to their disappointment, nothing but a little babble of nonsense comes out and they all laugh, realising it may take some time before their niece is talking up a storm. Tom moves over to see them, walking behind Harry so he can still see his little girl’s face.

“Where’s Tom?” he hears Harry remark, “I thought he would be right beside her breathing down our necks.”

“Hello” Tom speaks up, right behind Harry who jumps about a foot in the air from the shock.

“I could’ve been holding Amelia you prick!”

“Well you weren’t! And not a word like that around her, okay?” Tom gestures over to Sam to pass over his baby girl, and reluctantly she is handed over, somehow already missing a sock.

“Hi honey, are all your uncles fighting over you? You’re just too cute huh?” he kisses his daughter’s forehead. “You get that from me!” The other boys scoff and Tom sends them an annoyed glare. “You’re the prettiest little peach...or should i say strawberry? You look so pretty and daddy chose this outfit for you all by himself! Can you say Daddy? Daddy...Dada!”

Utter silence. Tom feels a bit sad at first but he knows she’ll say it in her own time. She might even say Mama first, but deep down he knows Amelia is a daddy’s girl.

It’s Harrison who speaks up next, carefully watching his friend’s reaction, realising that Tom really isn't keen to leave his child. “Right mate, i’ve got her here, go stand and chat at the barbecue. Have a good time. I’ve got her, really” he says sincerely. With no children of his own yet, he thinks that while Tom absolutely adores his sweet girl, he really must need a break to just be himself again. He just wants his mate to have a good time, and Harrison is happy to help out with that.

Tom sighs, knowing his best friend is right, handing Amelia over to her honorary uncle, deciding that he’ll go and make sure you’re having a nice time. “If the sun gets too bright come and get me, the bags in the house and we have her stuff in there. She might need a hat and-”

“Tom, she’s fine. Go have fun, be a regular human. I’ve got her for now.”

“Okay, yeah, of course.” Tom nods, turning to Amelia. “Have fun baby, Daddy is really nearby so I’ll see you soon. You love Uncle Harrison yeah? You’ll have fun with him!” With that, he kisses her lil chubby cheek, one of her tiny curls tickling his face.

“See you in a bit Tom.” Harrison calls back before turning to Amelia “Will we say bye to Daddy, Meems? Bye bye dada! Bye dada!”

“Da-da!” Amelia points at Tom, speaking in the cutest little baby voice as clear as day. He freezes, eyes blown wide as Harrison looks as though she’s just recited shakespearean poetry

“Oh my god is that- did she-?!”

“Say it again Meems, who am I?” Tom rushes back to her with a wild hopeful grin plastered on his face, praying that he wasn’t just hearing things.

“Dada, Dada!”

He scoops her out of Harrisons arms and into his own “Yes darling, I’m Dada! i’m your Dada, oh I’m so proud of you my clever girl!”

“Dada!”

Harrison calls you over, getting a lot more attention from the small crowd on the other side of the garden than he had intended, but it definitely meant that you’d heard.

“Y/N!! Amelia said her first word!!” You can hear him yell and you gasp. You’ve been practicing saying Mama and Dada with her, but hadn’t been expecting anything too soon. Once you reach Tom, you can see the tears in the corner of his eyes while he’s holding your daughter close, grinning from ear to ear. Harrison heads back to the rest of the party, not wanting to get in the way of the family interaction.

“Say it again sweetheart, who am i?”

“Dada!” she babbles again, making you smile widely in surprise, before kissing her cheeks.

“Oh what a clever girl! You’re getting so grown up! I knew that would be your first word!” You look to Tom and kiss him before leaning your head on his shoulder fondly. “Well i guess it’s confirmed that she’s a daddy’s girl.”

He kisses Amelia’s forehead and tickles her little bare foot, watching her squirm and burrow instinctively even further into his chest.

“Don’t worry, when we have a boy he’ll be all over you.” He smirks, knowing that Amelia is going to be exhausted from the gathering tonight, leaving more time for adult time.

“Just for that, you’re not getting any from me tonight.”

“Oh yeah? Wait, I think i just heard Amelia’s next words” he pretends to listen to your daughter “talk” to him, nodding along as if she was in full conversation with him “Yes? Ahhh...she says she wants at least two more siblings and that we have to step on it.” He grins, earning and a playful smack on the arm from you.

“Tom!”

----------------------

any feedback is greatly appreciated, thank you for reading!

[loveamelink]

Pregnant Amelia was the cutest! I will forever be mad we barely got any cute pregnancy scenes like everyone else did because they focused on the drama...

[oboevallis]

Hi! Can u do one of a party dinner at Merediths or Jackson’s and everyone is in love with the baby and asking how they’re and they say like tired and all that? Thanks 😁

dinner party

“Meredith I’m not going to your dinner party.” Amelia sighed as she scrubbed in with her sister.

“Amelia, you have to go. Come on it’ll be fun.” Meredith unconvincingly said.

“No, I just had a baby.”

“Yeah, 15 weeks ago. Your maternity leave is over, and your back at work. Please Amelia?”

“No.” Amelia confirmed walking into the OR to start surgery.

“For me? Please?” Meredith begged a couple minutes later after their patient was opened up. “You can bring Scout.”

“Why are you so adamant on me coming?”

“Because I miss you.” Meredith tried, sensing her sister not convinced with her answer. “Fine, Maggie told me she’s thinking of moving in with Winston and I want you to convince her to stay. I mean I know she has to move out eventually but it’s all happening really fast and I don’t want Maggie getting hurt. And also Links a really good cook.”

“Soooo, yooou want me to convince Maggie to live in your house for her whole life. And have my boyfriend cook for your dinner party, even though we haven’t slept in weeks?”

“I knew you’d understand.” Meredith smirked under her mask, causing the neurosurgeon to dramatically roll her eyes.

_________________________________________________

“Don’t you look handsome.” Amelia playful directed at her boyfriend.

“And you look drop dead gorgeous.” Link replied kissing his girlfriend.

“No I don’t.” Taking her son from Links grasp to situate him into his car seat.

“You totally do.”

“Do we really have to go to this?” Amelia dramatically exclaimed.

“You promised Meredith.”

“Ugh, I mean I get why she’s worried for Maggie, but I mean Maggie is so happy! I mean we moved fast and we’re doing well. But I also understand how scared Meredith must be I mean it was always the three of us taking care of a kid each morning, we’d focus on one kid. And Mer is about to be completely alone.” Link kindly smiled, finding her ranting endearing.

“It’ll be fun this will be our first time out since the little sluggers been born. And our first outing as a family.”

“Family.” Amelia tested out, still getting acquainted with the word now that it had a new meaning. “I guess it’ll be fine, but are you sure your good with cooking? You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“It’ll be just fine, don’t worry about it.” Link sent a reassuring smile to his girlfriend. “I won’t have to worry about someone burning down Merediths house. I barely trust you with the stove.”

“Link it was one time. You’ll never let me live that down will you? I mean come on I was heavily pregnant and you really expected me to remember I had the stove on?” Amelia laughed whilst saying.

“Hmm.” Link seemed to consider this. “Yeah I kinda expected you to not burn the apartment down while I was out.”

“Oh come on.” Amelia playfully hit his shoulder.

_________________________________________________

“Here let me help.” Link interfered, clipping the buckle behind his girlfriend so their son was secure across her chest.

“Thank you.” Amelia pecked his lips before making her way over to the front door letting herself in. “We’re here.”

“Oh there’s my favorite godson.” Maggie greeted once they entered the kitchen.

“Don’t think I’ve forgiven you for giving that title to Maggie.” Meredith added.

“Sorry, Mer.” Amelia smirked while popping a baby carrot into her mouth. “Soooo, when is Winston getting there?

“Oh, around thirty minutes with everyone else.” Said Maggie failing to conceal the smile creeping onto her face.

“Sooo he asked you to move in?” Maggie took Amelia’s arm and directed her into the living room.

“I don’t want to talk about it in front of Mer.” Maggie whispered as the pair stood in the far corner of the living room.

“Okay, but are you going to?”

“I don’t know maybe? That’s kind of the point of the dinner party for you guys to judge him.”

“Maggie we can’t tell you what to do. It’s just going to happen if it’s right.”

“It feels right, I think.”

“You don’t have to know right now Maggie. It’s only been a couple of months.” Amelia bounced up and down trying to calm the baby who’d just woken up. “Whatever you decide we’ll all support you.”

“Thank you that means a lot, because Meredith seems against this whole thing for some reason.” Before Amelia could respond the doorbell rang and Maggie went to go greet them.

_________________________________________________

“Oh gosh there’s the cute little baby.” Jo gushed over the tiny boy who was wide awake. “Can I?”

“Yeah of course here.” Amelia replied carefully shifting the baby into Jo’s grasp.

“Oh my gosh look at you! You are so so so cute.” Jo told the small baby who was now smiling up at her.

“I’m going to go see if Link needs any help.” Amelia gestured towards the kitchen only to receive a distracted nod. “How’s it going in here?”

“Oh it’s good, almost done. I’m exhausted though.” Link chuckled, looking at his girlfriend admirably. “Where’s the baby?”

“Oh he’s with Jo, everyone’s gushing over him. Don’t blame them though, he is the cutest baby.”

“You got that right.”

“I’m going to go take our baby back, he’s probably hungry by now.”

________________________________________________

“Where’s Amelia?” Meredith asked as everyone settled down for dinner.

“Uhh, I’m not sure she may be upstairs I’ll go check on her.” Link answered standing up to make his way upstairs. Once he got to Amelia’s old room, he realized she was passed out with their baby on top of her chest. He carefully lifted the baby up, and placed him down in the pac and play. Then placed himself next to Amelia covering them with the comforter.

“Hmm.” Amelia stirred so she was facing her boyfriend. “Is dinner ready?”

“Yeah, if it’s okay with you I just want to sleep. If the baby starts crying we can only pray one of the competent doctors downstairs will come to his rescue.” This caused his girlfriend to slightly laugh as the two of them drifted off to sleep.

________________________________________________

“Hey where are Link and Amelia?” Maggie whispered to Meredith.

“Not sure, probably having sex upstairs.”

“Oh god.” Maggie laughed drunkly.

“I’ll go check up on them.” Meredith smirked standing up to head upstairs. She was glad to get up from the dinner table, things were awkward between Teddy and Owen, and especially tense between Deluca and Hayes. She also didn’t know how she felt about Winston yet, but she couldn’t talk to Amelia about it because she’d been AWOL most of the night. Once she got to the room she realized the couple was out cold, and their baby was wide awake babbling to himself, seeming like he wanted to get out of the pack and play. “Come here little guy.”

“Where are Amelia and Link?” Richard asked once Meredith walked back into the room, with the baby clinging to her chest.

“They are out cold.” Meredith answered as she sat back down in her spot. “I guess it was a little much too soon after having a baby to attend a dinner party.”

________________________________________________

“Link, Link, where’s the baby.” Amelia frantically asked shaking him.

“Huh?” A groggy Link sat up taking in his surroundings, then realizing why his girlfriend seemed panicked. “God I- I don’t know.”

“If he’s not downstairs I’m going to lose it.” Link followed close behind his girlfriend as she raced down the stairs. To see Jo cradling the baby as Richard and Winston seemed to be in a tense conversation beside her. “There my little guy is.”

“Oh thank god.” Link sighed standing next to his girlfriend who now cradled their son. “Thanks for keeping an eye on him.

“Of course.” Jo smiled. “He’s such a good baby, very mellow.”

“Yeah for anyone other than us.” Amelia frowned as she sunk fork into the couch.

“We’ll watch him tonight.” Meredith offered walking back into the living room with Maggie who was balancing drinks.

“Really?” Amelia asked hopefully.

“Of course, you’ve done it for me for years.” Meredith smirked taking the baby from her sister. Before Amelia left with Link, Meredith quietly assured Amelia she’d fill her in on everything about Winston.

sorry this is so choppy and bad, hope everyone is still doing well and staying safe

[kaimelia]

Alive

“What do we have?” Teddy asked, running out into the trauma bay to meet Jo.

“Car accident.” The ambulance pulled up, stopping and opening the back doors.

“38-year-old male, hit on the driver’s side. Passed out at the scene and regained consciousness a minute ago with the loss of verbal skills. Pulse has been steady.” The paramedic lowered the stretcher down.

“Oh my god. Teddy, it’s Link.” Jo stepped away. “I shouldn’t work on him. He-he’s family to me.” The blonde nodded, grabbing the side of the stretcher and pushing it inside.

“Okay, let’s page Koracick and Bailey.” Teddy looked down into Link’s eyes, his breathing heavy. She grabbed his hand. “We’ve got you, Link. It’s going to be okay.” He nodded quickly at her, watching as the familiar surroundings of the E.R. passed by him. “I’m going to put in an IV, okay?” Tom walked through the doors to the trauma room, clearly shocked by the man on the bed in front of him.

“Has anyone told Amelia?” Teddy shook her head.

“No, we’ll tell her when we know what’s going on.” Tom nodded, moving closer to Link.

“Okay. Follow my finger, good. Can you move your hands? Feet?” He sighed in relief as the ortho surgeon wiggled his fingers and toes, nodding slowly. “Good. I need a head CT. Get it once Bailey checks him and page me.” Teddy moved towards Link again, grabbing his hand to stop it from shaking.

“Bailey will be here in a second. I know it’s scary, not being able to talk, but you’ve got the best here. You’re going to be just fine.”

——————————

“There’s no way,” Amelia sighed, crossing her arms against her chest. “There’s literally no way.” Meredith rolled her eyes at her sister.

“Then take the test!” The door to the lounge opened as Maggie entered the room.

“What’s going on in here?”

“Amelia’s pregnant. She doesn’t want to admit it though.” Maggie sat down at the table in the middle of the room.

“I’m not pregnant.”

“Amelia, your boobs are big. You were sick yesterday, and I’m sure you and Link are having plenty of sex, enough sex to get you pregnant again.” Meredith held out the box. “Just take the damn test.” The brunette groaned, taking it and walking into the bathroom attached to the lounge. Maggie turned to face Meredith.

“Why are we forcing Amelia to take a pregnancy test?”

“Oh, well she has symptoms. And Link was talking to me during surgery about how he wants another kid, and I guess that was on my mind.” Meredith shrugged. The bathroom door opened, Amelia walking out with the stick in her hand.

“Okay, let’s wait.” The brunette sat down at the table, eyeing her sisters. “Why are you so stuck on this, Mer?”

“Well my life has gotten pretty boring, so I’m living vicariously through you. Plus Scout’s like the cutest baby ever, and I think you should have another.” Meredith drank some of her coffee before setting it back onto the table. “When was the last time you had your period, Amelia.”

“I don’t know. It’s been irregular since Scout was born, I haven’t been paying attention to that.”

“I think the fact that you don’t know means you haven’t gotten it in a while, enough time for you to be pregnant again.”

“We haven’t even talked about it, I don’t know if Link wants another kid.” Amelia kicked her feet up onto the table and relaxed back into the chair.

“He does. We were talking about it yesterday in surgery.” The neurosurgeon’s eyes widened at her sister.

“Well, what did he say?” Meredith shrugged.

“I was asking if you were having another kid because the surgery was getting boring, and he said he wanted another sometime. Then we started talking about Ellis because she wants a younger sibling, but there’s no way that’s happening.” Meredith said, nonchalantly. Maggie laughed. “What about you, Maggie? Are you and Winston ever going to have kids?”

“Woah, we’re just dating. Besides, I don’t think I could handle children of my own. I wouldn’t be able to work as much.” Maggie took a sip of her coffee.

“So you’ll just continue to steal our children,” Amelia interjected, checking her phone.

“Exactly.” The timer on Amelia’s phone went off. She picked up the test on the table in front of her and stared at it.

“Holy shit.” She looked between her sisters. “I’m pregnant.”

———————————

“He’s got an epidural bleed. I need to get in there now.” Bailey nodded at her fellow surgeon, grabbing the tablet from the desk in the scan room.

“I’ll fix the splenic bleed at the same time.” She opened the tablet, inputting information into his chart. “Someone needs to tell Shepherd.”

“I’ll do it,” Teddy said, moving to walk through the door. “Do you need me in the OR after?”

“We should be fine, I’ll page you if we need you.” Teddy left, running down the hallway and searching in rooms for Amelia. She opened the door to the attendings’ lounge, spotting Amelia sitting at the table with her sisters.

“Amelia! Can we go somewhere and talk?”

“What is it?” Her voice was full of joy, something that Teddy knew would fade the second she told Amelia what was happening. She tilted her head to the side and offered a sympathetic smile.

“It’s Link. He was in an accident.” Amelia sat up, her mouth wide open.

“What? What happened?!”

“He got hit on the driver’s side. He’s got an epidural bleed and his spleen is bleeding, but Koracick and Bailey are taking him to surgery right now.”

“I need to go, I need to go see him.” Meredith placed a hand on Amelia’s arm.

“Amelia, there’s nothing you can do except wait. You won’t do any good in the gallery.” Amelia bit her lip, her chin quivering.

“Meredith, he could die. And that can’t happen, I can’t lose him. I can’t.” She took a deep breath, running her hands through her short hair. “If Link dies, I won’t be able to handle it.”

“I’m going to head up to the OR to see if they need me. I’ll keep you updated, Amelia.” The brunette nodded as Teddy left, Amelia’s hand covering her mouth as she squeezed her eyes shut. Maggie stood up and walked behind her sister, wrapping her arms around Amelia and hugging her from behind.

“It’s going to be okay, Amelia. We’ll stay here with you,” she whispered into Amelia’s ear. Meredith nodded in agreeance, holding Amelia’s hand as she began to cry.

“Can you-can you go get Scout? I need to hold him and hug him.” Meredith stood up to leave the room, whispering that she’d return soon after. “Maggie, I can’t lose him.”

“I know Amelia, I know.”

————————————

After hours of sitting in silence, Amelia cradling her son and thinking about the worst possible things that could be occurring, Teddy came into the lounge. “He’s okay. He started crashing, but we got him back. You can see him soon.” Amelia smiled widely, covering her mouth with her hand and pulling her son closer to her.

“Thank you,” she whispered, looking up at Teddy. “Thank you.” Teddy smiled at her, rubbing her shoulder before leaving. Amelia looked at her sisters. “He’s okay, he’s really okay.” They grinned at her, wrapping her and Scout in hugs.

————————————

Amelia was sat by Link’s bedside, holding his hand as if her life depended on it. Her eyes drifted between his face and the heart monitor he was attached to, as if at any moment it could just cut out and she would lose him. “Link,” she whispered, “you have to wake up. I need you. Scout needs his Dad and we’re gonna have another baby, and that baby needs their Dad. Link, I can’t live without you. You need to wake up.” She wiped a tear away from her face and placed her hand back on top of his. “Please wake up. I love you, you need to wake up. This is not how we end, we have so much more to do, together. I don’t think I can do this without you.” She felt motion under her hand, her eyes brightening as she looked up, seeing his eyes flutter and open slowly. “Oh, Link.” She stood up next to the bed, placing a hand on his cheek.

“Hey,” he whispered, his voice weak.

“Hi. How are you feeling?” He smiled slowly, wincing at the pain he was in.

“Tired. My head hurts.” Amelia sniffled, rubbing her finger up and down his cheek. “What happened?”

“You were in a car accident. Drunk driver. You had a brain bleed and a splenic bleed, but Bailey and Tom operated, and you’re okay now.” She smiled down at him.

“I’m sorry I scared you.”

“You’re alive, and that’s what matters.” She sat down on the side of the bed, hanging her legs off the side and locking her hand in his.

“Where’s Scout?”

“He’s with Maggie, he’s okay.” Link nodded. “When I found out you were in an accident, I was about to find you to tell you something.” He raised his eyebrows at her. “I found out I’m pregnant.” His eyes widened slightly, a smile slowly appearing on his face.

“Really?” She laughed at his tired excitement.

“Yeah, we’re gonna have another baby.” Link grinned toothily, holding his arms out to her.

“Come here.” She laid down slowly, carefully adjusting the wires attached to him before snuggling into his arms.

“Thank you for not dying.” He kissed the top of her head and pulled her against his body.

“I love you, Amelia.”

“I love you.” She laid there for a few minutes, listening to his breathing settle as he fell back asleep, the exhaustion in his body taking over. Amelia finally allowed herself to relax and fall asleep in his arms, content knowing that the love of her life was perfectly alive and okay.

——————————————————————————

Hi everyone! I hoped you enjoyed this :) Make sure to comment and like, and let me know if you have any requests!

[chickensarentcheap]

Best Part of Me -Chapter 27

Warnings: toxic parent and adult child relationship

Tagging: @c-a-v-a-l-r-y​, @innerpaperexpertcloud​, @alievans007​

She introduces herself as Bonnie. A tall, slender woman with striking features; steel gray eyes and short cropped silver hair and high cheekbones. And Tyler doesn’t think much of until she adds, “your father’s special friend”. He vaguely remembers her...or at the very least someone resembling her...standing on the front porch of the old family home. The day he’d taken Millie to see the old man before they left for Mumbai. At that time there’d been no possibility of returning to Australia; Amir Asif’s people had found out he was still alive and were out for revenge and knew exactly where to find him.  Going to his father’s that day had been a last-ditch effort to hash things out and patch them up. Or so he’d thought.

“You don’t remember me, do you,” Bonnie comments, as they linger on the front porch following introductions. And he wants to tell her that there’s some days he doesn’t remember what he did ten minutes ago, never mind what happened years ago.  A side effective of not only the tremendous blood loss on the Sultana Kamal Bridge, but his brain being starved of oxygen during the times he’d flat lined in the operating room.  “I was there the day you came to see your father at the old home,” she continues. “Five...six years ago.”

“Almost six,” Tyler confirms. Millie had only been two months old then. Three weeks before they’d found out Esme was pregnant again. They wouldn’t be told it was twins for another three months.  It feels like a lifetime ago.  

“I was there too,” Millie pipes up. Always confident, never shy or afraid to engage with complete strangers. Sociable, to a fault. “Do you remember me?”

Bonnie crouches down; a gentle hand on Millie’s shoulder as she engages with her eye to eye. “I peeked in on you through the window. You were just a tiny little thing. I remember you had blond hair then. And your feet were bare, and you had the cutest little toes. Amelia, right?”

Those big blue eyes widen in surprise and delight. “You remember my name? That was a long time ago.”

“I used to be a teacher. I used to have to remember a lot of names. Old habits die hard. Your grandfather remembers your name, too. He woke up very excited this morning knowing that he was going to see you today.”

Tyler can’t stop the doubtful smirk that tugs at the corner of the mouth, and he feels his wife dig her elbow into his side when she notices it.

“Really?” Millie’s smile grows, crinkling the corners of her eyes and the bridge of her nose. “I made him something. My birthday’s coming. I’m going to be six.”

Tyler’s shoulders immediately tense at the mere mention of that age, and he anxiously shifts his weight from one foot to the other. It’s irrational of course; the fear that Millie will wake up the morning of the big day and will have come down with something horrible and untreatable. But his brain isn’t exactly being rational these days.

“I want grandpa to come to my party,” Millie says. “So I made him this...” she unzips the plush unicorn knapsack she has slung over one shoulder. She’s quite eclectic today; the bag and the baby blue ‘princess dress’ with ruffles and frills and those dirty old Spiderman sandals. And she pulls out a handmade card and shows it to Bonnie. “Daddy helped me,” she proudly chirps.  “It’s got sparkles and stickers of kittens and unicorns and butterflies and all the stuff I like. Even glitter. Lots of glitter. Do you think he’ll like it?”

“It’s beautiful,” Bonnie gushes. “I think he’ll love it. Do you want to go and give it to him?”

“By myself?” For once Millie sounds hesitant, and she looks up at her father, followed by her mother, then curls all her fingers around two of Tyler’s and leans into his legs. “I don’t think I want to go by myself.”

“I’ll go with her,” Esme speaks up, and then takes the baby carrier from Tyler. “She probably has to go to the bathroom anyway and Addie definitely needs a diaper change.”

He lays a hand on the small of her back and presses a soft kiss to her cheek. Things have been better since his meltdown in the middle of the road; surprisingly rational and calm considering how powerful and near crippling the anxiety and panic had been. And they haven’t talked about it or the issues surrounding it since. He knows it’s inevitable; he owes her an explanation for why he’s been so fucked up and on edge the last few days. It’s a conversation that has to happen –including the desperate cravings for the meds and the booze- but he is absolutely dreading. It isn’t the first time that he’s felt like he was slipping; he’d fallen off the wagon more than once during his various attempts at sobriety during the past six and a half years. But this time he knows there will be no more chances. If he fucks up, that’s it. He loses everything. And that’s the most terrifying thought of all.

“First and last?” Bonnie inquires, when Esme takes an uncharacteristically nervous Millie by the hand and escorts her inside. “The girls? First and last children?”

He nods. “There’s three more in between though. All boys.”

“That’s quite the brood. A big family for this day and age.”

“What can I say?” he gives a shrug. “It’s one of the few things we’ve actually agreed on in the past seven years. Wanting a big family.”

Three had been the original limit; none of them planned. Most had come as a complete shock. The twins being quickly after Millie was born, Declan making his presence known despite the fact his mother had been on birth control at the time.  Millie came about during an unconventional time, but she hadn’t been that much of a surprise; complete absence of any form of protection over the course of five days meant it would have been more a shocked had if Esme hadn’t gotten pregnant. Addie was the only one that had been somewhat considered; they’d agreed on a fifth without knowing that she’d already been conceived.

“Your father couldn’t remember for sure,” Bonnie says. “He knew for sure that there were two of three. And he knows there’s two little girls. That’s a good day for him, when he remembers that much. A very good day.”

Tyler just nods. Hand shoved the pockets of his jeans, eyes on his feet. He knows he should feel something when it comes to his old man’s illness. Or at the very least he should express some kind of sorrow or even remorse for letting the years pass by without attempting to mend fences. But he feels nothing. At least none when it comes to his father. But the nightmare the night before has left him feeling many things towards and FOR his mother. And for that terrified little boy that had spent years cowering in his bedroom closet.  

“I know things haven’t always been easy between you and your father,” Bonnie sympathizes. “That things were strained between the two of you.”

“That’s what he told you?”

“He said you were a difficult child. That it only got worse as you got older. Especially into your teen years. That you were very smart but acted out a lot. That you were always misbehaving at school and...”

“I was difficult, was I,” Tyler gives a small, dry laugh. “I wonder why that was.”

“I know you had your troubles. With discipline and authority. And controlling your emotions. I know...”

“You don’t know shit,” he interjects. “Is that what he told you? That I was a bad kid? That I was out of control? That’s what he said to you?”

“It’s understandable,” she attempts to lay a comforting hand on his forearm, but he scowls and yanks it away.  “You lost your mother at a young age. That’s a tremendous loss. It’s not surprising you started acting out.”

“You’re not blaming this on my mother,” he can’t control the vehemence that creeps into his voice. Or the way his fists continuously clench and release.  And that tightness in his chest returns; a vice tightening around his heart and squeezing at his lungs. “There’s no way you can blame this on her.”

“I’m certainly not blaming her for dying. I’m simply saying it takes its toll on loved ones. Especially those so young.”

“He used to beat the shit out of her. Did you tell you THAT? That he used to get drunk nearly every day after work and come home and put his hands on her? Did he tell you that I’d hide in the closet listening to the whole thing? I was a little kid. Millie’s age. Even younger when it started. And that’s what I dealt with. Almost every goddamn day until the day she died. I bet he didn’t tell you all that, did he.”

“He told me they argued. That they had their quarrels.”

“Arguments don’t cause black eyes and busted lips and concussions and trips to the hospital.”

“It’s not my place to judge. I don’t know what happened in the past between your father and your mother. And you were a little boy and you only HEARD these things. You don’t know for sure what happened.”

“When I was nine, he figured I was old enough to see what was going on. He used to make me watch; used to threaten to beat my ass or hurt her even worse if I didn’t. He wanted me to see how a ‘real man controls his woman’ and how he ‘rules his house’.  So I did see it. And when she died, I was the one who took over the role as his favorite punching bag; the one that he took all his shit out on. You don’t know what happened.”

“You’re right. I wasn’t. But...”

“You weren’t there. But I was. I lived through it. Until I got too big and strong and I was able to put fear into him for a change. So don’t fucking stand there and tell me I was a ‘difficult kid’.   You have no clue what growing up in that house was like.”

“And now you’re here for what? Revenge? That why you reached out after all these years?”

“He called me first. A week ago, when he needed some shit done around here. And you know what, I showed up and I did it. No questions asked. I’m here because my kids should probably get to know him before it's too late. I’m not here for revenge. I’m not here to make him for what he’s done. He either won’t remember of if he does, won’t give a fuck. I’m here for my kids. Not for me. Not for him. For my kids.”

“So you have nothing to say to him?”

“I have tons I want to say to him. A shit load of stuff I’ve been holding onto for years. But what good is going to do? He’s never regretted a goddamn thing that he did to me or to my mum. So what good will it do? It won’t do fuck all.”

“You have a lot of anger inside of you,” Bonnie observes.

“You think?”

“You haven’t had an easy life, have you. You’ve spent years with all of that anger inside of you. Trying to find a way to either get it out or cope with it. I can see it in your eyes; you’ve seen a lot of horrible things.”

“I’ve done a lot of horrible things,” Tyler admits. “To people who deserved it.”

“In the military.”

“In other jobs too.”

“What kind of other jobs?”

“Jobs that paid me damn good money and let me pretend it was my father I was beating on.”

Bonnie blinks at his brutal honesty.

“You don’t know anything about me. About the things I’ve seen. The things I’ve done. The life I’ve lived. You only know what he’s told you. About his failure of a son who fucked up his life and abandoned his dying kid and had his marriage fall apart. I’m sure that’s the picture he’s painted of me, isn’t it?”

She nods.

“I nearly died seven years ago. On a dirty fucking bridge in Bangladesh. I came this close..." he holds his thumb and forefinger half an inch apart. “...to dying that day. And for some reason, I’m still here. After all the shitty things I’ve done. I got a second chance. I’ve got a wide and kids and a pretty damn good life. But I bet he never mentions that; the good things I’ve done. Because he doesn’t see me that way. He just sees me as a fuck up. The kid he never wanted; some burden that was dropped in his lap. So don’t stand here and pretend you know who I am or what I’m about. No disrespect, but you know shit.”

“Daddy!”  Millie bursts through the screen door, and his fists immediately open, and his shoulders relax.  

She’s been through enough today; she doesn’t need to see him in that kind of state.  Her face is glowing, and her eyes are big and bright; she’s full of childhood exuberance and excitement. And she’s perfect and innocent and she deserves so much better than he can ever possibly give her.

“Daddy look!” she holds out her left hand; a highly polished silver dollar nestled in her palm. “Look what grandpa gave me! It’s from the year I was born. He went to the bank and got it special just for me!”

He knows that Esme has sent her out there; that when he hadn’t followed shortly behind and joined them in their visit that she’d immediately assumed the worst and was worried he’d have another ‘episode’. That Millie would be the quickest and easiest way to get him down of whatever edge he was teetering on. And it’s worked; those big blue eyes sparkling up at him and that little voice and the way the word ‘daddy’ sounds when it comes out of her mouth. It’s always so sweet. So genuine. And he can remember the first time she’d ever intentionally said it as baby; just shy of her first birthday, standing in her crib and reaching up for him and nearly making him cry.  

“That’s pretty cool,” he gives her a smile and lays a hand on top of her head. “You’ll have to put it somewhere safe when we get home. Where your brothers won’t find it.”

She nods in agreement and tucks it into his pocket for safe keeping. Then looks up at him with her head cocked to the side, eyes narrowing. “Are you going to cry? You look like you’re going to cry.”

“I’m fine,” he assures her, and combs his fingers through hair; letting the thick, soft tresses slip between his fingers. “Just tired. It wasn’t a good night last night.”

“Daddy doesn’t sleep good sometimes,” Millie informs Bonnie, then wraps both of her arms around one of his thighs and leans against him. “He has a lot of hurts. From the bad guys.”

“Okay...” Tyler gives an uncomfortable laugh. “...we don’t need to talk about the bad guys.”

“He used to rescue good people from bad people,” she continues. “And he got hurt a lot when he did. And he almost died! Before he even found out I was in mommy’s tummy. He almost died and mommy almost had me all by herself and I never would have met him, and he never would have met me and...”

“That’s enough,” he scoops her up with one arm and settles her on his lip. “Bonnie doesn’t want to hear about that. Boring stories about my old job.”

“Daddy used to beat people up. He even killed some of them.”

“Amelia...please...” he presses a kiss to the side of her head. “...no more, okay? We don’t talk about that stuff. Especially with strangers.”

“Bonnie’s not a stranger. She’s grandpa’s girlfriend. So that makes her my grandma, right? I mean, other than the mean one in Colorado. She’s horrible,” she says the last part to Bonnie. “She’s so mean. I don’t like her. I’m glad we don’t' see her anymore. She makes mommy cry and then daddy gets mad and tells her off. My mean grandma, not mommy.”

“You don’t have a grandma,” Tyler reminds her. “She died a long time ago. When I was little.”

“Bonnie can be my grandma if she wants. I don’t mind.”

“I wouldn’t object to that,” the woman in questions says, smiling as she reaches out to cup Millie’s face in her palm. Fingertips grazing her cheek before Tyler steps away, breaking all contact.  “I never had children of my own, so I don’t have any grandkids and...”

“Let’s go visit,” he suggests, cutting her off before she can finish. There’s no way in hell that this woman...whoever the hell she is and whatever role she plays in his father’s life...could ever fill those shoes.   “Then we go and get lunch.  Sound good?”

“Sounds good,” Millie agrees, then wraps an arm around his neck and places a kiss on his cheek as he steps past Bonnie and into the house.

****

The visit has gone surprisingly well; the old man in good spirits, doting on his granddaughters and spending the majority of his time cuddling the baby and reminiscing about the few rare good times that had existed in Tyler’s childhood. And he’d attempted to smile at the memories and offer his own commentary, but they’d only left a bitter taste in his mouth and a tightness in his jaw and throat.  

He’s been unable to stop the continuous loop playing in his brain, the sights and the sounds from the vivid and heartbreaking nightmare. He hadn’t wanted to hear about the bonfires on the beach or the roasting of marshmallows within their flames. He hadn’t given a shit about the odd family camping excursions they’d take along the Gold Coast. Those memories had been too rare. Too fleeting. And now that he’s an adult and can look back on the situation, Tyler knows the old man only engaged in those activities to give his mother and himself a false sense of security; so she’d stay in the marriage under the pretense that things were getting better, only to have them fall apart again weeks later. It’s how his father had kept her around; always promising to change and making noticeable improvements before resorting back to being the monster he was.  

There’d be more horrible times than good ones. And it makes him sick that the old man refuses to even acknowledge that or take responsibility for what he’d done.

“When did Sarah dye her hair?” His father asks now, as they sit side by side on the back patio, watching as Bonnie gives Esme and Millie a tour of the various flower and vegetable gardens.  

Sarah. His ex-wife. Who’d couldn’t possibly be any different from Esme if she tried. Tall, on the thicker side, green eyes and long blond hair.  And it didn’t end there. Sarah was boisterous and loud; obnoxious even.   Needy and clingy and constantly needing validation. Someone who prided themselves on being strong and independent when they were anything but.

“Dad, that’s not Sarah,” he attempts to be as calm as possible while correcting him. “Sarah and I haven’t been together in sixteen years.”

Any mention of his ex brings back a lot of hostility; both towards her and to himself. He’d done a shitty thing; abandoning Austin when he was dying. And he’d never forgive himself for that. But their marriage had been strained and troublesome from day one; she hated being a soldier’s wife and was very vocal about it. It hadn’t taken her long to start fucking other guys while he was deployed, and he probably would have left as soon as it started had she not ended up pregnant and he’d not believed her when she’d insisted the baby was his.

“That’s Esme,” he continues. “You came to our wedding, remember? At the same place you and mum got married. By the opera house.”

Bonnie had explained this could happen; coherent one moment, not remembering a damn thing the next. And Tyler had long ago made a vow to himself –after a neurologist had explained his own brain issues following the Dhaka incident- that if he ever got THAT bad, he’d put a gun in his mouth and pull the trigger.

Confession clouds the old man’s eyes. “How long have you been married to her?”

“Six and a half years.”  Sometimes it seems like six months, other times it feels like sixty years. So much as has happened during that time: leaving for Australia for Mumbai and winding up back in Dhaka. Taking custody of Ovi and moving to Colorado. Michael McMann and the bullshit in Ireland and then New Zealand.  Five kids and a trial separation he’d been one hundred percent sure was going to turn into a divorce. And not in that order.

“And the little girl?”

“That’s my daughter. Amelia. And this is Adeline,” he lays a hand on the baby’s back as she sleeps soundly along his thighs, stomach down.  

“Like your mother.”

Tyler nods, struggling with the bitterness and the anger that eats away at him.  That the old man-despite all the heartache and damage he’s caused over the years- has managed to live such a long life while his mother’s had been tragically cut short. It’s what pisses him off the most; that the punishment for all the beatings and all the vile, degrading things he’s ever said has taken so fucking long to arrive.

“It’s a beautiful name,” his father muses, a soft smile on his lips as he watches the activity in the garden; Millie crouched in the grass, giggling as a chipmunk eats sunflower seeds out of her palm and Esme takes a video of the moment.  “A beautiful name for a beautiful woman. I remember when I first saw her. Those blue eyes of hers and those long lashes and that red hair of hers...” he gives a happy sigh. “...she took my breath away.”

Tyler wonders if it’s the dementia talking or if the old man is telling the truth; if he actually did feel that way when they first met.

“Her brother introduced us,” he continues. “We were in the army together. I’ve told you that, yeah?”

Tyler nods.

“Brought me to his place when we were on a leave. That’s how we met. Your mother and me. Through him. She was sitting in the backyard, reading a book under a tree. And she looked up and smiled at me and it was like my heart stopped beating and the earth stood still. You ever felt like that?”

He smiles as he looks across the yard, at where his wife is taking her turn at feeding the chipmunk; showing even more excitement and wide-eyed enthusiasm and wonder than Millie had.  He feels it now in the same way he’d felt it seven years ago when she’d walked into his place in the outback; he’d never met anyone like her and knew he never would again.  

“All the time,” Tyler says. “Every time I look at her.”

“It’s an amazing feeling, innit?  Especially when they smile at you or they take your hand or touch your arm.  And how they sometimes look at you like you’re the most incredible guy on the face of the earth, even when you’re feeling anything but.”

He nods. He’d experienced that last night when he’d had the nightmare and the panic attack that had accompanied it. And in the middle of the road that very afternoon when he’d had the ‘meltdown’. She never judges him; tending to him with the same kind of tenderness and patience that she uses with the kids. Sticking by him through insurmountable amounts of bullshit and heartbreak. Always looking at him like he’s the strongest, bravest man in the world; always trusting him with her life and the lives of their children. Even when he feels like a complete and utter failure.

“You love her.” It’s more a statement than a question.

“With everything I am and everything I have,” he admits.

“So you got this one right, at least. Didn’t go so right the first time, did it.”

Tyler smirks. He knew it could only last so long, the fond reminiscing and the touching words.  “No,” he agrees. “It didn’t.”

“You did a horrible thing, you know. Taking off like that. I don’t care what your reasons were. You never abandon your own like that.”

He nods slowly, taking in his father’s words. It’s nothing he hasn’t said to himself a million times over the past sixteen years.  There isn’t a vicious word that he hasn’t called himself, no end to the guilt and the regret that he feels.  It’s a cross to bear; one he’ll carry for the rest of his life.

“Hope it doesn’t happen again,” the old man sighs. “When something goes wrong. Because you’ve got a good thing there and if you walk away again...”

“I fucked up. Is that what you want to hear me say? That I royally fucked things up and I feel horrible about it? Is that what you want to hear? That I hate myself and I’ll probably hate myself until the day I die? That’s what you want me to say, yeah?”

“It’s nice to hear a little remorse come out of you.”

“You’re going to get on my ass about remorse? You? Of all people?” Tyler scoffs. “That’s rich. That’s really fucking rich.”

His father’s eyes narrow. “You don’t talk to me like that, boy.”

“First of all, I’m not your boy. I’m a grown ass man. With a wife and kids. Second, I’ll talk to you any goddamn way I want.”

His voice is louder and tone harsher than he’d intended, and he sees how both Bonnie and Esme look up and glance towards the porch.  A frown on his wife’s face, her brow furrowed.  He can see the concern in her eyes...the worry. And he’s thankful when Millie tugs on her hand and diverts her attention.

“Don’t you talk to me about remorse and regret,” Tyler lowers his voice. “After everything you’ve done. All the things you said, all the things you did. To mum. To me. You have the nerve to get on my ass about the mistakes I’ve made?”

“I know I haven’t always been a good man...”

“You’ve never been a good man. When the hell were you a good man? You think being nice once and while and taking us places and buying mum flowers or jewelry made up for the shitty things you did? You’d promise to change, and you would, and it would last what? A month? At the most? Just so she’d stick around. Then you’d start your crap again.”

“I don’t know who you think you’re talking to, Tyler. But...”

“I was a kid. A fucking kid. And I used to hide in my closet and listen to everything you said and everything you did. I remember going to the hospital to see mum and you warning me on the way there not tell the nurses or the doctors the real reason she was in there. Because you’d pushed her down the stairs and busted her head open and you convinced them that she fainted and fell. Do you remember that? Because I fucking remember that. And I was Millie’s age when that happened.”

His father’s face hardens, eyes darkening, jaws clenching.

“Yeah, you remember. I know you do.  You remember all the times you talked down to her and all the times you put your hands on her. How about when you tried convincing me that that’s the way all women shouldn’t be treated? That all men were just like you. And thank God I never believed it, or I would have grown up thinking that it was true, and I would have beat on my wife and my own kids.  I’ve done some shitty things over the past six and a half years; I’ve lied, and I’ve broken promises, and I’ve made some bad choices. But I’ve never...ever...raised a hand to my wife. And if I ever do...if I ever even think about...I’ll fucking kill myself. Because that means I’m just like you and she deserves better than that.”

“Hey,” Esme greets, as she climbs the stairs to the patio. “Everything okay? You seem a little...upset.”

“I’m fine,” he assures her, and she steps behind his chair, putting her hands on his shoulders and pressing a kiss to his cheek. “You ready to go? I’m ready to go.”

She nods. “Millie’s going to get hangry soon and you’re...” her hands slide across his shoulders and down his arms and then back up again, pausing to squeeze his biceps as she drops a kiss on the top of his head. “...pretty tense.”

“I’ll be okay,” he says, and lifts a sleeping Addie from his lap and tucks her into his chest. Forearm against her back and palm supporting her head as he stands. “We were just talking. Right, dad?”

“My son has a big mouth,” he responds. “Tried to slap it off him a few times growing up but obviously it never worked.”

Esme nervously chews her on her bottom lip, eyebrows arched as she looks up at her husband.  

“It’s fine,” Tyler runs his free hand over her hair, settling it on her back as he kisses her forehead. “Just ignore him. He didn’t like the things I had to say.”

“Can we just go?” she asks, visibly anxious. “Let’s just go. Don’t say anything else. Not with Millie here. Please.”

He nods in agreement, then glares at the old man when he gives a derisive snort and a snide, “Obvious who wears in the pants in your family.”

“What do you want me to do, dad? Beat her into behaving? Knock her around so it will keep her in line? Think that will show her who’s boss? Break her nose, give her a black eye, knock out some teeth?”

“Tyler...please...” Esme pleads, and her fingers curl around his forearm, nails pressing into the flesh. “...let’s just go.”

“She’s probably the one that knocks YOU around.”

“You know what, dad...”

“Tyler...” her voice is more forceful now. “...enough. Just walk away...be the bigger man and just walk away.”

“Better listen to her,” the old man scoffs. “She probably lays a beating on you from time to time. Seeing as you’ve gotten so soft.”

“Tyler...” Esme glares at him. “...don’t even engage. Just go. Go and take the baby to the car and I’ll get Millie. Please?” One hand fists the front of his t-shirt, the other reaches up to rest on the side of his face; fingers pressing into his cheek, encouraging him to look down at her. “Just take the baby to the car, okay?”

“Are we leaving?” Millie happily skips up the stairs, pigtails swinging and bouncing. “I’m so hungry could eat the ass out of a dead rhinoceros.”

“Excuse me?” Esme frowns. “What did you just say? Who taught you THAT?”

“That sure as hell wasn’t me,” Tyler says. “Of all the weird things I’ve said, that’s not one of them.”

“Ovi taught me,” Millie sheepishly admits. “Sorry.  I AM hungry though.”

“Go with daddy,” Esme instructs. “I have to get Addie’s baby bag and your shoes from the house. Go on. Both of you.”

He places a hand on her hip and his lips to her ear. “Don’t say anything. Even if he tries to cause shit with you.”

“I won’t,” she promises, and he pecks her lips before scooping Millie up and slinging her over his right shoulder, her head and top half of her body dangling down his back.  

“Bye grandpa!” the five-year-old calls in between her giggles. “See you at my party! Don’t tickle me too, daddy!” she squeals. “You’ll make me pee my pants!”

Esme smiles as she watches them go, waiting until they disappear around the side of the house before turning to her father in law, smile fading.

“What the hell is wrong with you? That is your son? Do you have any idea how lucky you are to even still have him in your life?”

He doesn’t respond. Mouth set in tight, thin line as he stares blankly ahead.

“He could have died seven years ago. In fact, he did, and they brought him back. Twice. If there’d been a third time, they weren’t even going to try to save him. Do you have any idea what he’s been through? What he still goes through? What his life has been like in the last sixteen years?”

Still no answer.

“Don’t you even wonder what he was doing when he left the army? Do you want to know? Do you care at all?”

“Security work.”

“He was a mercenary,” she says, and she notices his eyes widen. “A hired gun. He went into shitty places and into dangerous situations and put his life on the line to help other people.  You’re lucky to even have him and you’re going to treat him like you do? You can’t see that he’s trying? That he wants to get through to you? You totally screwed him up as a kid. And it’s left him totally messed up as an adult and...”

“Esme...” Bonnie’s voice is stern as she climbs the steps. “...I think you should leave.”

“I know you’re never going to apologize to him. Even though you should. And he’d probably never accept it anyway. But he’s still your son. And he’s going through hell right now and he’s trying so damn hard to get himself better and if you’d just meet him halfway...”

“I owe him nothing.”

“He’s your child! And I know he’s a grown ass man and he’s a husband and a father, but he’s still your son. And I should hate you for what you did to him when he was a kid and how it’s messed up for the rest of his life. But I actually feel sorry for you. Because he’s a big man with a big heart and he’s good to me and good to his kids.  He is trying so hard. And I need you to help him. I’m begging you to help him. Or help me help him. Please. That’s all I want. For him to be okay.”

“It’s too late,” the old man says. “It was too late years ago.”

“You don’t know what you’re missing. The kind of man that he is. And I find it pathetic that you can’t even look him in the eye and tell him you’re sorry. Whether he wants to believe it or not. You can’t even love your own son. What kind of parent does that? What kind of evil lives inside someone that that they turn out the way you did?”

“Esme...” Bonnie tightly grips her arm. “...you need to go.”

“And you’re just making this worse,” she addresses the other woman. “You’re ignoring it too. Everything he did to Tyler, everything he did to Tyler’s mother. You’re just turning a blind eye to it and enabling this shit. What is wrong with you people? I feel sorry for both of you.  I really do.”

“Leave,” Bonnie orders. “Now.”

“I am going,” she yanks her arm out of the woman’s grasp, then turns on her heel when she reaches the door. “If he’d died what then? Would you have even felt bad? Would you even have mourned him? If I hadn’t had been there, he would have died alone in that hospital and you probably never would have known. How pathetic is that? You wouldn’t have known your own child was dead. I had to call you and tell you what happened. And even then, you showed up pissed drunk and you brought his ex-wife. Classy. Real classy.”  

And with that she stomps into the house, slamming the door behind her.