#pretend this isn’t a breakup scene

[cadmium-bear]

Enid: You stole a stuffed dragon for me.

Wednesday: I would’ve stolen you a whole toy store.

[ju-ji]

With august it was “he’s a complicated and flawed character but that doesn’t make him BAD” and it was also like that with day at certain points, well now I raise you: last twilight is a complicated and flawed show but that doesn’t make it BAD!!!

[momotonescreaming]

STWG Daily Prompt: Napping [Part One] [Part Two]

“I didn’t think you’d come,” Steve says, the words falling out of his mouth, tumbling off the thickness of his tongue. Jaw slack, bottom lip hanging open, and there’s a slight furrow to his brow. Looking at him through droopy eyes, long lashes — fluttering as he blinks up at Tommy.

His gut twists, a curl of nausea wrapping around his middle. How far have they fallen, that Steve didn’t expect Tommy to actually listen to his message. To come visit when he said he was in the hospital. Did he really think Tommy was that much of an asshole? To the people at Hawkins sure, but never Steve. Never Carol. Never the people that actually mattered to him. The rest of Hawkins could get fucked.

People hung out with Steve at school — the guys from the swim team, cheerleaders, all those types — but he didn’t really seem to be friends with them. Just friendly. Surface level, school shit. Have you started that essay, have you heard Nicole’s throwing a party, what’s for lunch? Never anything real. Not like anything he had with Tommy. Carol as well, when she joined the scene.

Except Wheeler. Tommy absently wonders why she isn’t here. Why Steve didn’t ring her. She’s his girlfriend, she should be here with a card and flowers. Sit at his bedside. Except she isn’t here. Tommy is.

“Of course I did.” Tommy says, shrugging his shoulders. Sliding his hands into his pockets, trying so hard to look calm. Normal. This doesn’t have to mean anything, if Steve doesn’t want it to. He’s just his ex best friend, visiting him in hospital to be nice. It’s fine. Except it’s not fine. Tommy’s heart is thundering in his chest so hard it’s a miracle Steve can’t hear it from all the way on the other side of the room.

This feels like the start of something. Tommy hopes it is. Reconnection. Getting his best friend back.

Steve’s gaze softens, his eyes practically melting, settling into something gooey and warm. Like fucking caramel, or honey or some shit. A part of Tommy didn’t think Steve would ever look at him like that again. Not like the pained glances and glares he got in the halls of Hawkins High. On the basketball court.

There was no mask here. Steve doesn’t have the energy for it, to put the mask back on, the façade that everything’s normal. Everything’s fine and it’s better this way.

“Oh,” Steve says, mouth forming a perfect circle. He starts picking at his blanket, tugging at the seam, trying not to wobble as he sits up. Blinking, Steve looks down at his hands and then back at Tommy.  It’s almost bashful. Shy. Steve never used to be shy with him. They could tell each other everything. They knew all about each others first kisses, first times. The foods they like, the ones they hate. What they want from like and the fears that simmer under the surface. Tommy knows all about Mr Harrington’s cheating, and the way it fucked Steve up. And in return Steve knows all about how Tommy’s parents pretend he doesn’t exist and the anger that builds. There was no pressure, no worry, about saying anything to the other. But maybe they’re starting from scratch. And maybe that’s okay. “Thank you.”

“Can I sit?” Tommy asks, pointing at the ugly chair with a thumb. He raises an eyebrow, and tries to will his pulse to stop racing. It’s not just about the chair. It’s about Tommy staying, being allowed in Steve’s presence again. What if he says no? What if he doesn’t actually want to see Tommy again? What if the phone call was Steve just getting it all off his chest?

“Yeah. Sure.” Steve replies, still looking and sounding a little shocked. At the fact that Tommy showed up, or the fact Steve said yes, he’s not sure. He nods, heading over to the ugly chair, and tilts it more towards the bed as he sits down. So he can look at Steve. Fucking engage with him or some shit. Tommy’s here now, and he really doesn’t want to break it. Doesn’t know if he could handle it, honestly. Losing Steve hurt. More than a breakup with Carol ever could, he thinks.

“So what are you in for, anyway?” Tommy asks. To break the ice sure, but also because he’s genuinely curious. Steve didn’t say, just that his brain felt like mud and the nurses didn’t want him wandering. And with the way he’s looking, Tommy doesn’t blame them, Jesus Christ.

“This isn’t prison,” Steve jokes, wincing as he laughs. The motion of it pulling at his wounds, his bruises. His fucking battered body. Sighing, sounding a little strained, Steve relaxes back into his pillows. Turns his head so he’s still looking at Tommy.

“You sure?” He jokes, mouth curling up at the corner. Half a smile, half a sneer, but he tries to make it look genuine. Nicer. Tommy’s fucking trying, alright?

Steve wheezes as he laughs, more an exhale of air than anything. Calming, soothing his lungs, his aching body, Steve takes a slow, deep breath. Blinks as he looks at Tommy. Eyes flicking over his face, roaming over his features.

“Concussion. Bad one. Really bad one.” He says eventually. After a pause. Carefully choosing his words. “Lots of cuts and shit.”

“Fuck, dude,” Tommy starts, almost recoiling. Almost says are you alright on instinct. He catches himself, the words dying on his tongue. Like fucking no, obviously. He looks like he got hit by a truck. Probably feels like it too. It hurts to look at. Way worse than when Steve fought Jon in that alley. Steve was winning that fight too. Tommy fucking stands by that. Jon only had him at the end because the cops showed up and Steve stopped fighting back. And you know who got slapped in cuffs because of it? Fucking Jonathan. Tommy takes a deep breath, takes his hands out of his pockets and tries to look calm. He’s fine. Steve’s hurt and someone hurt him and Tommy’s fine. Flexes out the muscles in his palms, his fingers, and grips the arms of the chair.

“Yeah,” Steve replies, a soft, sleepy smile on his face. “Can’t really be alone right now. But it’s not so bad. I’ve mostly been napping and getting woken up by nurses every hour.”

You’ve got me now, Tommy wants to say. But that doesn’t come out of his mouth. He takes a shuddering breath, gestures to the door he just came through with a trembling hand. “I can go, if you need to nap?”

“No.” Steve says quickly, automatically, hand reaching out towards Tommy. Bites his lip, gaze dipping down to his hand, over to Tommy, head bobbing heavily with the weight of it. He looks shy again. There’s a worry in his eyes, wrinkling at the corners. “Don’t go. Please?”

And oh fuck that hurts. He looks a lot like the scared kid who used to come over to Tommy’s house because his parents left for the weekend and he didn’t want to be alone. Wanting the company but also being ashamed to ask for it. His father’s influence, Tommy knows.

“Okay,” he says, trying not to sound so relieved himself. “I’ll stay.”

[Part Four] [Part Five]

[sugarspiceandnotsonice]

I’m someone who HATES getting my hopes up and always keeps my expectations low but it’s so hard to do that when it comes to Byler. I went into season 4 as a GA member. I always knew Will was gay since season 1 and even felt like he might’ve had a crush on Mike since season 2. I was positive he had feelings for Mike since season 3. Season 4 ended up confirming everything I suspected. As for Mike, I did think he liked El in seasons 1 and 2. I even thought Mileven were cute in those seasons. Then season 3 happened and made me realize I thought Mileven was cute because I hadn’t actually witnessed them in a relationship. Their relationship just annoyed me and confused the hell out of me. It wasn’t a healthy relationship at all. Mike seemed like a completely different person, like he was pretending to be someone else. Their breakup made me so happy and then when they got back together at the end of the season I was confused and annoyed all over again. Then season 4 happened and seeing the way Mike was without El in Hawkins, seeing him go back to being the nerd I knew and loved and playing DnD again, that made me so happy. Then he went to California to visit El and Will. Once again pretending to be something that he wasn’t while around El and acting extremely weird around Will. Will clearly had feelings for Mike but acted totally fine and normal around him. The boy was beaming and so happy to see him and give him a hug. Mike was the one acting weird around Will. Why? Based on the letter El wrote to Mike you’d think Will would be the one to act weird and awkward but it was the other way around. That airport scene made me start thinking that maybe possibly Mike liked Will beyond just platonically. Will and Mike did always seem to have a deeper friendship to me. Mike always acted differently around Will compared to Lucas and Dustin. Plus when Mike was in a romantic relationship with El, he never seemed to be his authentic self to me. I then thought I was probably just reading too much into things but the more scenes I watched of Mike and El along with scenes of Mike and Will, the more I thought that there was no way that the writers of this show actually want me to want Mike and El together. If so, why are they writing them so terribly? They write Jopper, Jancy, and Lumax so well so what the hell are they doing with Mileven? Why’d they make Will have feelings for Mike and are making me want those two to be together instead? Why are the writers having Mike be his most authentic, vulnerable self with Will? What is going on here? If they want me to root for Mileven instead then they’re doing the absolute worst job in making me want them as a couple since season 3. Season 4 made me one hundred percent ship Byler and I found out that I definitely wasn’t the only one who felt that way after watching season 4. By the way, my sister can’t stand Mileven either and would much rather have Byler be a couple as well. So yeah, the writers screwed up big time if they weren’t planning on this reaction. Season 4 and Byler is what really got me into Stranger Things beyond just a casual viewer. Will is my favorite character and all I want is for that boy to finally get happiness and love. He’s just been nonstop suffering the entire time. Why make him in love with Mike if Byler isn’t going to happen? Just so he could suffer more? Wow talk about terrible writing for their only gay character.

[snwycde]

Connected (Bang Chan) part 4

Pairing: BangChan x fem reader

wc: 2.3k

warnings‼️: smut‼️, minors do not interact‼️‼️*warning placed before scene*

summary: slow burn of Chan and fem reader. Chan runs into his past, how will it affect the present and his future?

This is part 3!!!

part 1

part 2

part 3

-----

“Where have you been?” Hyunjin is sitting on the kitchen island eating snacks, “It’s 11pm on a Monday. And Han and Changbin got home like 4 hours ago.”

“I was working.” Chan taking off his shoes, throwing them to the side.

“They said you left before them.” Hyunjin takes a bite of his apple, “So where were you actually?”

Chan takes off his jacket, placing it on the chair beside Hyunjin, “Why are you acting like a mom Hyun?” He opens the refrigerator to grab some leftovers.

“You went to see her, didn't you?” Hyunjin takes another bite, looking at Chan who freezes in his spot, “By your reaction, I’m taking that as a yes.”

Chan scratches his head and sits down “Look Hyunjin, this isn’t some romance story. I just went to see her, that's all.” He’s about to take a bite of his food before, “Wait, how did you know?”

Hyunjin leans back into his chair, “Felix and I were betting on it. Ever since you last saw her you look even more out of it.”

Chan shrugs and takes a bite of his food.

“So what did you do? Did you take her on a date? Surprise her at work with flowers?” Hyunjin finishes up his apple, “I wanna see what she looks like again. The girl who swooned Chan hyung.”

“I think she hates me.” Chan stares at his food, “Y/n, that’s her name. I think she hates me…and I kind of deserve it.”

This makes Hyunjin slowly sit back up, looking at his hyung, “Why would she hate you?” Genuinely curious at who could hate his hyung who’s nothing but kind.

“I treated her really badly.” Chan says before taking another bite, “I treated her so badly and pretended nothing was wrong. I pretended she didn’t exist.”

Hyunjin knew there was more to the story, but hearing this made his hopeless romantic heart ache. He wanted to know more, but he didn’t know where to start. And he especially didn’t want to pry. 

“Yeah, you did.” 

Hyunjin and Chan turn to look up at Minho leaning on the counter.

“Eavesdropping much.” Chan shakes his head, “I mean you’re not wrong but when did you even get here.”

“Felix is being too loud on his video games and I needed water.” Minho pours some water into a cup, then heads over to the table they were sitting at, “Don’t mind if I come and join this little therapy session for Channie, huh?”

Chan lightly laughs, “What are you gonna do rat me out to Hyunjin-ah? He loves me too much to think of me badly.”

Chan’s remark makes Hyunjin’s head tilt, “Okay well now I want to know, because I feel left out now. Who else knows besides Han and Lino hyung?”

“Just them two, and my family.” Chan continues eating his food.

“So am I allowed to ask questions or…” Hyunjin throws his apple away into the trash.

“Shoot.” Chan makes a gun with his fingers, inferring to go ahead.

“Who is she? How’d you meet? How long did you date?”

“I thought you were gonna ask about the breakup. Not the whole plot story.” Minho laughs. But the face of Hyunjin tells Minho and Chan that he really wanted to know.

Chan clears his throat, “Um well her name is Y/n L/n. I met her at this cafe her parents own, she was the first friend I made when I moved to Korea. I started dating her 3 years after I met her…we’re the same age…so when we were like 16…? I think we started dating in 2014.”

“That’s actually so cute. First love.”

“That’s so young. Young love.”

Minho and Hyunjin speak at the same time (I’ll let you guess who said what). They look at eachother rolling their eyes. Chan continues eating, looking unbothered.

“So why did you break up with her?” Hyunjin asks next.

“Chan hyung, didn’t break up with her. She broke up with him.” Minho reaches and takes some of the snacks in the middle.

“What? Really??” Hyunjin holds his mouth in shock, “So why do you portray yourself as a bad guy if she’s the one that broke your heart.”

“Um… maybe because I broke hers first.” Chan finishes his food and starts to get up, “I think that’s enough storytelling for tonight, it’s almost 12 and we have a pretty busy day tomorrow.”

“You can’t leave me with only that. That’s basically nothing! You’re leaving me on a cliffhanger!” Hyunjin pouts.

Chan waves his hand walking out of the kitchen, “Ask me another time.”

“Lino hyung, what did Chan hyung do?” Chan hears Hyunjin ask Minho before he enters his room.

---

“Jihyoooooooo, I hate him so much.” Here you are in your room, with Jihyo, who brought soju with food after she came home from work. You fall from where you stood, laying on the couch where Jihyo watched you, “I don’t hate him. I just…he’s so mean to me.”

“I can’t believe you got into the car with him. Actually I can’t believe you went to Jaebum when he’s at a bar drunk calling you. Like girl. What the hell.”

“I just wanted to make sure he didn’t get hurt or something. And he was alone –”

“Babe, do you not understand what no contact is?” Jihyo plays with your hair while you place your head onto her lap, “You barely even liked Jaebum. Like look at you, you're here whining over Chan, more than him. You’re a mess.”

“I didn’t know I’d see Chan at such a vulnerable moment. I literally was answering his stupid questions so mindlessly, when he doesn’t even deserve to know anything.” you pull a blanket over you while rambling, “Ugh, Jihyo if only you heard how he spoke to me like…like I was nothing. As if I was just a friend or worse, a stranger. It felt like how it was on the day after Christmas.”

Jihyo didn’t need her to explain what she meant, she knew what she was talking about. That day, after Christmas, is why Jihyo holds no resentment or empathy for Chan. She doesn’t care about how many times you tried to defend him, or brush it off that it was okay and it didn’t hurt you. Because Jihyo knew it hurt you, and once you’ve had too much to drink, if Chan was mentioned or something that reminded you of him, you break down pouring your heart and soul into every single word.

“I remember because I was there, Y/n.” She takes the soju from your hand, “that’s enough for tonight.”

Jihyo walks you to your bed before saying bye for the night. 

--- *MDNI* smut below‼️‼️‼️‼️

His hands roam against your body, touching it as if it’s his last. He follows you as you crawl backwards onto his bed, chasing your lips as if it's the sweetest thing he’s ever tasted. He softly pushes you onto your back as he cages you in, allowing you to trail your fingers up his arms to his shoulders, wrapping your arms around his neck - pulling him closer. The action causes his lower half to brush against yours, a moan spilling into his mouth. 

Hearing you, makes his mind grow darker, craving you more. He starts pressing into you, attacking your neck, “Taste so good.” You run your hands through his hair and give a light tug, just how he likes it, you pull him off your neck, making him whine at the loss of you. You tug at his shirt, “Off, please.”

He smirks at this, placing a kiss on your forehead, “only because you asked so nicely.” You watch him, knees on either side of you, kneeling as he unbuttons his dress shirt in front of you. He sees you bite your lip, “Like what you see?” You turn your head away from him, suddenly shy. 

“No, no, baby.” he softly takes you by the chin, turning your face towards him, “Watch me. Don’t take your eyes off me.” He takes off his shirt and your hands rush to place them on his chest. “Needy aren’t you,” he jokes before taking one of your hands and kissing it, then trailing kisses down back to your neck. He finds your sweet spot, making you bite your lip, to hide your moan.

“Don’t.” his hand comes up to your face, brushing his thumb against your lips. “I want to hear everything.” he whispers into your ear, as he dips two of his fingers into your mouth. You start tasting him, moaning around his fingers. 

“Baby, please.” You whine out as you feel him grind himself onto you, “Want more. Want you.”

“You’re so cute, always asking so politely.” His lips reattach to yours as his fingers find the bottom of your dress - the reason why you’re both in this situation now. He starts to take it off of you, disconnecting his lips just so you can throw it over your head, then he quickly reattaches to you. “God, you’re so perfect.” He says while undoing your bra with practiced movements, “It makes me just want to ruin you.”

You moan at his words, your hand trails to his pants to make him slide them off. As he kicks off his pants, you play with the hem of his boxers, hearing his breath get heavier as he kisses you more desperately. “Are you needy baby?” It’s your turn to tease.

“Stop teasing.” He plays with the thin lace on your hips, returning the favor.

“Me tease?” You immediately grab his dick and give it a squeeze, making his head fall to yours, breath hitches, continuing your movements, “I’d never tease my baby.” Your thumb runs over his tip that’s starting to leak, “So needy, baby.” He moans loudly before placing his hand on your clit, slowly moving at the pace you're stroking him. Your eyelids flutter shut, overwhelmed with the pleasure.

“So weak,” He teases.

Your eyes open as you speed up your movements, feeling chan twitch at the sudden change in pace. You quickly reach into his boxers and take him into your hand, and pump him. 

“Fuck.” He says as you spit into your hand just to reach back down. He hasn’t moved his hands too focused on not finishing. 

“Who’s weak baby?” You use this moment to push him against the headboard, crawling onto him as he sits looking at you. You look at him as you drip your spit from your mouth to his dick lathering it around him making him look up moaning. You stop your movements, your other hand takes his chin, “nuh uh baby, eyes on me.”

You continue your movements and start kissing him intensely. He’s moaning into your mouth and by the grip on your hips, you know he’s close. You usually take the pillow princess role, but by the way he’s been so stressed, you decide to take care of him really quick. You know he’ll make it up to you later.

He pulls away from your lips, “Close.”

You smile at this, “So cute.”

He’s so fast that you’re unsure of what even happened. He pushes you onto your back roughly taking off your panties, “I need to finish in you.” It sounds like a demand, but you know that this is his way of asking for your consent. You open your legs wider and he takes it as a sign to continue. He fully takes off his boxers and lines himself up with you, “You’re so wet.”

“Put it in please, don’t tease,” You whine.

“Not fair when you’ve been teasing me all night.”

“I want you to come in me, baby.” you wrap your legs around his waist pulling him closer, “Fuck me.”

His eyes darken wasting no time, he pushes into you, moaning as he feels you swallow him whole, “Fuck, I missed you so much. ”

He lets you adjust for a second until you push him closer, “Move.”

He starts thrusting deeper into you before pulling out to the tip. Roughly pushing all the way in, he does this slowly yet hard, making both of you moan out loudly gripping onto each other. 

“Faster.” One word is all you say and he’s quick to listen, thrusting faster with less force yet still deep enough to hit your spot. 

“I’m gonna come,” you cry out, it feels so good. He feels so good. Your hands entangle with his hair moving to his back, unable to stay still. So high off of him you don't know where to put your hands. You just want to show him - no, you want to let him feel how good he's making you feel.

“Come on baby, show me how good I make you feel.” He keeps the same strong pace just how you like it, “Let me feel you dripping around me.” And that is what tips you over, you release around him, scratching so hard on his back that it’ll sure leave marks. Screams caught from your throat, as he grips your throat just how you like it.

“Come inside me baby please.” You urge him on, still experiencing your high, you're so drunk on pleasure you don’t know what you’re saying, “Please give it to me. Put it in me deep. I-I need your come.”

He’s now fucking you harder chasing his own release, he grabs your face kissing you. 

“Come in me, Chan.” You moan as you look into his eyes.

You saying his name and the eye contact does it for him, and he's grabbing onto you so tightly as he yells out, “Fuck y/n. I-I’m coming.”

Both of you moaning as you feel his fluid leak into you, filling you up with his warm seed. He still continues moving as he attaches his lips onto you. You kiss each other until you fall asleep with him in you, holding you close.

---

You open your eyes, Chan’s not there. You sit up, looking down. 

Chan opens his eyes, Y/n’s not there. Chan sits up, looking down.

“Oh.” 

“Oh.”

author's note: AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

this is my first time writing a smut idk whether i hate it or not 😭

[mallgawths]

Please "enjoy" this long, rambling, text post about all the toxic parts of being an early 2000s mall goth that's been sitting in my drafts for weeks.

I’m keeping this blog to be nostalgic for the years 1999-2004, but holy shit “mall goth” was such an insult back then, it meant you were a poser who just bought your outfit at Hot Topic.

Listening to Evanescence was a social death sentence and for posers, Emo meant “indie rock” about suicide and breakups, no one had heard of MCR yet and when they eventually did, it was for 14 year old posers. Marilyn Manson was corny and decidedly “not goth”, Blink 182 was for tweens who just discovered Avril Lavigne or for gross frat boys. All pop punk was for tweens and gross frat boys, if you liked them before the genre got big, too bad, but you could say they’re sell outs and you only like their older stuff. Nine Inch Nails wasn’t industrial because it was on the radio. If anyone had heard of an industrial band, they were too mainstream to be industrial. Wumpscut was for try hards trying to prove how industrial they were, some Skinny Puppy was ok, but only their oldest stuff, KMFDM was basically mainstream rock. Kittie was acceptable if you were a girl, all that 90s girl metal was fine actually, but probably only if you were a girl. Korn was for middle schoolers.

“Cringe” wasn’t really a word, but “poser” was, and if you spelled it “poseur”, you were trying too hard and obviously a poser yourself. If you said you hated preps, you were a poser. You were generally allowed to like one or two mainstream pop bands, but it couldn’t be anything current, and you had to be kind of ironic about it.

We used to call goths who we thought were beneath us “gawfs” or “goffiks” (side note: this is why it drives me crazy when people say they think My Immoral isn’t a troll, because saying “goffik” was like a huge “I’m actually a goth, making fun of worse goths on the internet” dogwhistle). These were, of course, all online because we only knew other mall goths in real life, and we all generally stuck together even if we didn’t like each other. We denied being goth if anyone called us such, because we knew we weren’t good enough at being goth to call ourselves goth. “Scene” meant any kind of alternative scene for a little bit, and when it finally mean big haired screamo, they were obviously posers, and they didn’t want to be called goth and we didn’t want other people to call them goths anyways.

The only acceptable goth music that was like real goth goth was either really unknown local stuff, stuff from the 90s that you had to have already been liking since the 90s, and like the iconic 80s goth bands. But not really The Cure, everyone liked The Cure, so you couldn’t just like them alone. But it couldn’t just be iconic 80s goth, because then everyone would be suspicious if you were a poser because everyone knew you were like just a baby when those songs came out.

We all shopped at Hot Topic because it was the only place to buy black clothes. But admitting your clothes were from Hot Topic was so embarrassing. Because everyone knew we should be buying from expensive indie designers online, or thrifting, or sewing our own clothes, or being more creative. So much goth style was vinyl fetish and BDSM stuff. If you were even vaguely goth people just assumed you were into that, or you pretended you were, even if you were like 14, which is really kind of fucked up?????

You could break all these rules if you were pretty and did good makeup. But maybe the rules were totally different for your friend group, there was no social media, this was even before MySpace, the internet was dialup and you only has access to it a little bit in the evenings or in the weekends. So there was no larger community to check up on. Just some forums full of completely anonymous people.

It’s weird seeing gen z use “mall goth” as a neutral description of an aesthetic, and actively calling themselves that. I’m intensely nostalgic for it, but still instinctively cringe when I see someone call themselves that and I think “No! Don’t say that! They’ll know you’re trying!”

Anyways, these are the toxic parts that came along with being a self loathing teen goth in like 2002.

[t-0ne25]

(7) the conservatory

-

-

-

You’re hitting two birds with one stone here. The conservatory isn’t only a good hideout in general – granting you lots of space behind the countless enormous plants. It’s also the one area of the cottage you haven’t been able to go to in all these years.

Seungmin is very serious when it’s about his plants. He treats them like his babies. No, correction. They are his babies. That’s why he doesn’t allow anyone to enter it on a normal occasion. But he said it’s fine for this game now, even though you know he would prefer it if no one chooses this as their hiding place.

Hopefully, this will mean no one will be with you and Minho won’t find you here.

Your expectations are falsified, however, when you find none other than the house owner himself hiding behind the same plant you had chosen for yourself.

“Ha! What happened to ‘don’t hide in the conservatory’, huh?”

Seungmin chuckles, feeling caught even though you’re not even the seeker in this game. “Maybe it was my plan so that no one chooses this spot except for me.”

“Well, I’m here now, too, I guess.”

“You can stay, Y/N. Don’t worry.”

You bow, pretending to thank him for his generosity.

“Thanks for not feeding me to the wolves aka Lee Minho.”

Seungmin plays along, placing his hand on his chest, a faux shocked expression on his face.

“I would never. You’re my best companion when it comes to teasing Chan. I can’t lose you, Y/N.”

He is correct with that. Seungmin has grown a habit of teasing the oldest and your neighbour is the secret favourite candidate when it comes to deciding who’s the best comedian of the group.

But he can be serious, too. Actually, he was the first one to know about the breakup with Hyunjin and helped you a lot, especially the first evening after it happened. Seungmin has always made sure to make you feel comfortable and safe at any time given.

You catch yourself ogling him for a second too long and when he notices too, you switch your gaze towards the huge window, finding the sky filled with stars.

“That’s so pretty.”

“Hm, that’s why it’s my favourite part of the house,” Seungmin confesses, scooting a bit closer to you. He can feel his heartbeat increasing, now realising how near he is to you, hiding in a room with only you.

“I could watch the stars for hours.”

Seungmin smiles at you but you’re unable to see it, your eyes glued to the sparkling dots far away from you.

“We can watch them for longer. Later. If you want to.” His sentence leaves his lips in brackets.

“Sure.”

Minho finds you a minute later anyway and after everyone went to their rooms, already fully asleep, Seungmin and you meet up inside the conservatory again.

“You know,” you start once you flaunt into the room, “I feel quite honoured to be allowed in here.”

Seungmin chuckles and offers you some mulled wine he has prepared for the both of you, waiting on a sprawled out blanket on the floor. It looks like a little picnic, especially with the snacks he’s brought with him.

“Of course, Y/N. You’re the only one except for me who’s allowed in here.”

You take a seat right next to him, making yourself comfortable, and start looking at all the stars up high in the sky, their numbers by now increased.

“Thank you, Minnie,” you reply, taking a sip from the hot wine.

That nickname. Seungmin always feels his knees go weak at that fucking nickname.

Your friend answers all your questions regarding the night sky, impressing you with all his knowledge. You’re diving into the depths of astrophysics by now and you soon realise Seungmin is a total nerd about anything space related.

It’s adorable. Well, he already is totally adorable but you can feel your heart melt during this whole scene. The fact he’s prepared all of this as well, staying up late just so he can show you the beauty of the sky it’s as if–

As if he might like you?

No. It can’t be. It’s probably something he’d do with any of his friends. Although friends don’t look at each other like this. But Seungmin does. He’s staring at you as if he’s trying to find stars in your eyes instead of the sky above him.

“You’re beautiful, Y/N.”

“Is that the reason you brought me here, Minnie?” You flirt back.

“No. I wanted to be here with you. But that’s not some strategy I used, please don’t think of me that way.”

You shake your head no, “I don’t. Don’t worry. I feel comfortable in your company.”

Some time filled with silence passes, but on autopilot you both scoot a bit closer to each other, still completely mesmerised by the universe’s artwork above you.

“I’m glad you’re here with me, too,” Seungmin says after what felt like eternity. “I just wasn’t sure– you know, because of him. If it’s too soon or anything.”

Right. Your ex boyfriend. It’s as if you’ve almost forgotten he’s attending the trip as well. Seungmin really seems to be able to let you focus on something else.

“Don’t worry about him, Minnie. Don’t even mention him, yeah?”

He slightly nods, trusting your words. It’s not easy for him – trying to concentrate on the stars in the sky when you’re looking so ethereal next to him. Seungmin could faint at the sight. And he’s still so unsure if he should dare do another step.

He can feel his heartbeat giving up, especially, when you tilt your head towards him, staring right back into his eyes now. You don’t know if a second passes, a minute or an hour but you find yourself even closer to him, letting the distance disappear between the both of you, when you place your lips on his.

You’ve completely lost track of time, once Seungmin has you lying underneath him on the soft blanket, as he’s towering over you. He’s already grinding his hips into your own by now, attempting to deal with the tightening feeling in his pants with the help of some friction.

You let out a small moan, vibrations being sent into his mouth, as you part your legs a little further for him, groping his hardened length through the fabric of his clothing.

“Off with these, Minnie,” you beg and he immediately follows your orders, helping you out of your jeans after.

It’s a bit rushed, maybe, but neither of you are able to wait even a second longer. Seungmin caresses your wet folds with his fingers, coating your little sensitive nub in your own slickness. It feels like heaven, as if you’re close to the stars right above your head.

��Minnie– I can’t wait– need you inside of me.”

Your friend hastily nods, pulling his own remaining clothings down, too. He aligns his length with your heat, stabilising himself on his elbow and forearm. When he finally pushes inside, his whole length filling you up to the brim, you feel close to heaven.

“You feel so good, Y/N. So tight and wet for me, baby.”

His thrusting motions make you lose your mind, clearly. The pretty view on the other side of the window makes the scene even more magical than it already is. It’s as if you’re floating on the clouds, trying to reach those stars.

And you’re sure those stars in the sky will connect with the ones that are threatening to blind your vision, especially when Seungmin sneaks two fingers between your legs, continuing to play with your clit.

A minute later, you come undone underneath him, triggering his own orgasm in the process. Seungmin paints your lower stomach white with his juices, admiring the pretty sight – even prettier than the night sky.

“Thank you for this evening, Minnie.” He places a soft kiss on your lips.

“Everything for you, Y/N.”

-

© j-0ne25 2022 | copying, translating or stealing my work is prohibited

[meredithdoesfandoms]

hello byler nation! here is some of my byler reasoning that comes from a film studies perspective- i am NOT using any info from #scriptgate and am aware that this is wordy and hard to follow, enjoy!

• PROOF #1

unrequited love stories can happen. this is what we usually see come out of them.

option 1- character A is rejected and has some type of revelation or independence arc (which we may see with el if we see a milkvan breakup.) an independence arc from will is possible, the duffers have said ST5 will be will-centric. but it doesn’t make sense with the character. most of his arc is based on his relationships with other people, specifically mike. if mike was suddenly no longer of interest to will, that would simply be terrible writing. will would lose his entire character motivation.

option 2- a new romantic interest comes into play for character a. in the case of byler, we know a new romantic interest will not enter the plotline, as the duffers have confirmed there will be no new characters in ST5. unless they somehow managed to queer code, and rework either dustin or lucas, we would not see that play out for will.

unrequited love stories aren’t written for the sake of torturing characters, something comes out of them every time. but based off of the scenarios presented above, byler being unrequited is illogical, and would be poor writing. the duffers are smart, they know how to write characters, byler is NOT unrequited simply because they arent TERRIBLE writers.

• PROOF #2

in shows like stranger things, in which the plot is mapped so far in advance, writers simply don’t “forget” characters and their arcs/ storylines.

in season 1, mike was one of the biggest players on the show. you could argue he was the main character. he had some of the most screen time, the main plot line, and the clearest arc.

in season 2, mike isn’t as relevant, because quite frankly he didn’t need to be. season 2 was about expansion- we are realizing the upside down doesn’t just have a single demogorgan. it has multple demogorgans and demodogs, various species, a hivemind, a leader, etc. mikes only relationship focused on in season 2 is his relationship with will. yeah i know he missed el too, but the story itself was about will, and those who cared about him.

in season 3 we see a split in mikes focus between his relationships with will and el. he cant seem to have both. he can have friends who aren’t will + el, or friends who aren’t will + will. this conflict is the only focus mike has in season 3.

in season 4, it almost seems as if we have shifted mikes focus from will to el. however this seems to be the same plot as season 3- he can’t seem to have both. we see mikes dissatisfaction with his relationship with el, and thats about it.

so why would mike have no significant storyline in seasons 3 and 4 when he used to be a main character? well, the arc is actually linear when you look at it

season 1- finding and missing will

season 2- protecting and saving will

season 3- balancing his relationships with el and will

season 4- balancing his relationships between el and will

which means in season 5, this very clear arc will be resolved. with his focus being on will in seasons 1 and 2, it seems as if in season 5 will is going to be key to solving this conflict. likely within the context of a romantic relationship.

•PROOF #3

no because i know yall are SICK of rain scene analysis, but there is a crucial fact that we learn from this scene

mike believes that maturity= liking girls, disliking DnD

in season 4 it is revealed that mike likes and plays DnD. however when will brings up playing DnD for the rest of their lives, mike brushes it off.

mike is trying to appear mature around will. he doesn’t even try to do this with dustin, luke, max, or el. it is will specifically.

since mike makes it seem as if he’s too cool for DnD, he may be pretending to like girls. because as i mentioned earlier, mike believes maturity= liking girls, disliking DnD. and mike wants to appear mature, especially around will. so it makes sense that he talks to will about el so much, its a symbol of maturity the same way that disliking DnD is.

^that whole blurb makes no sense i’ll rewrite it if yall want

i can add onto this if yall want!! just a few thoughts i had :))

[waldensblog]

Reading Siege and Storm

So since I got into his fandom via the show first, I had decided to wait until I watched season 2 before reading Siege and Storm (and Ruin and Rising). I’ve seen the show, posted about my thoughts, etc. so now it’s time for my book reactions: 

Below the cut is the full extent of my thoughts, but here’s the TL;DR: I like seeing Alina progress towards a more ruthless and morally grey character as she becomes more and more like the Darkling; I wish the Darkling was in the book more, but enjoyed the tether scenes I got (and chapel kiss) and still ship Darklina even where I don’t always like his actions; I liked what Nikolai brought to the narrative and ship Nikolina too; I see a lot of Darkolai/Darknikolina potential in this narrative and the books are further fueling this; I dislike Mal.

Alina: As in the first book, Alina frustrated me at the beginning, as she drags herself around, feeling like she is “useless Alina”, growing weaker and sicker, all the while pretending she’s happy, and then later, when she literally begs Nikolai to rescue her from the Darkling, she ends up concluding the chapter with something like “What have we gotten ourselves into?” smh. She’s definitely at her best when she’s at the Little Palace again - sleeping in the Darkling’s bed, taking his job as leader of the Second Army, growing more and more like him while flirting with Nikolai (Oh the Darknikolina of it all). I love seeing this change, this progression. She is definitely a reluctant hero, and honestly, a bit of an unreliable narrator when it comes to her own feelings and thoughts - particularly when it comes to Mal. I like that she isn’t a traditional hero though - she’s getting more and more grey, as she is tempted to be more ruthless to enact change, and I like that she recognizes it too - that she did abandon those people on the skiff to die, that she did nearly murder someone with the Cut for a slight.      The Darkling: I wish there was more Darkling in this book. He was prominent in the beginning after catching up to Alina, but then his role is severely reduced and he pops up here and there in the tether (until the end) - probably to make room for Nikolai to get into Alina’s heart, just as the Darkling did in the first book. It’s obvious that Alina still very much has feelings for him - at the beginning she says she’s having nightmares, but her description of her being happy there, using her powers, and his lips on her neck suggest otherwise. Every time they touch there’s a sensation that goes through them both, a powerful attraction they can’t seem to shake. And the tether shows how she longs for him - he can’t be there otherwise. I think he very much hates that he loves her, and I think she’s stuck in the same place. They don’t want it to be true, but they are soulmates. That chapel kiss at the end really seals that to me - the way she describes it, it’s a longing she didn’t have with the others. They are eternal, each other’s balance, and honestly their breakup is becoming everyone’s problem. Throughout this book, she is becoming more and more like him. There was a very Darkolai bit for me in the book too where after Vasily proposes to Alina, she wonders if the Darkling had to fend off nobles and proposals too - which of course, put in my mind the image of Nikolai proposing to the Darkling to form an alliance and coup the throne. Oh the possibilities... It probably goes without saying, but I don’t agree with 100% of his actions. He is still my favourite though. Nikolai: Nikolai is a fantastic addition to the narrative, and as in the show, I love what he brings to the dynamic, especially when it comes to the Darkling/Alina and him. My dude literally decided to shoot the Darkling and jump ship like a madman. Wild. It probably goes without saying that I don’t agree with his actions 100% of the time, but overall, I do enjoy his character, and it’s obvious that Alina gets feelings for him as the book progresses and they spend more time together. What I like about they dynamic is that she’s actually happy when in his company most of the time, and we hit a point where she clearly wants to kiss him (she says so herself). I couldn’t help but notice that the Darkling never appears to Alina when she’s with Nikolai after that initial time in the fold. So I think her feelings for Nikolai are strong enough to keep the Darkling at bay. And if we’re on the Darkolai/Darknikolina theme... she compares him to the Darkling a few times.

Mal:  So I definitely dislike Mal. At his best he’s kind of just there, and at his worst he’s actively dragging Alina down or being a sullen grumpy drunk. When they were in Novyi Zem, he was at his happiest, apparently (as he says later in the book). But when in Novyi Zem, he’s working a labouring job, day in day out, while Alina grows sicker and weaker, and he thinks that was “doing something worthwhile” - because apparently being at the Palace, working on building alliances, an army, etc. is absolutely nothing. Literally no fucks given for the state of his country, like he brings nothing to the table and only takes. Honestly I’m reading him as like a drug to Alina - he’s actively bad for her, when she’s with him she often gets sicker, weaker, and is blatantly unhappy despite her insistence that it’s not the case. She’s co-dependent on him, and there’s a fair few times I read her “love” for him as not actually love at all - but as an addiction. Knowing from the show he’s the firebird - that can also probably explain the addiction, as she is actively growing power-hungry. I also noticed - and evidently, so did the Darkling, but the Darkling appears when she’s with Mal or alone - meaning he isn’t keeping the loneliness at bay, he isn’t “home” like she claims, and I’m not sure her feelings for Mal are all that genuine - the Darkling wouldn’t be there if they were, right? Mostly, I just wish he would just leave the narrative altogether. 

[kazemi-archive]

Succiduous

Suc•cid•u•ous | \sək`sədooəs\

Pairing: Miya Twins x Reader

Word Count: ~13.3k Genre: Fluff

Warnings: A lot of fluff, unrequited love if you squint, some angsty scenes, some injuries, punches are thrown at one point, a breakup, really bad first kiss, general language warnings, the usual bullying that comes hand in hand with the Miya twins

Summary: Here’s the thing, about growing up with the Miya twins. You learn a lot of things. You learn that they bleed into every aspect of your life, that you’re never going to get rid of them. You learn that they feel more like home than your own house does. Growing up with the Miya twins makes you learn how to ignore things. I guess it even teaches you how to ignore things that have been right in front of your face the whole time. There’s a word; succiduous. It means ready to fall or falling. That was a great way to describe it I think. Because growing up with the Miya twins meant I spent my whole life falling without realizing it. I’d never realized it until I was ready to fall.

Growing up with the Miya twins means that they find a way to seep into every part of your life.

The first time you saw the Miya twins you were just a kid. 6, to be precise.

You can’t pretend that you remember all the details of your first meeting, a lot of things are blurry before the age of 12. Even after that isn’t always great. Bits and pieces put together and possibly not even those pieces were being remembered correctly.

What you do remember vividly, however, was the distaste in your mouth as you moved to a new house and a new school, all contact with your parents and with your friends (the girls you swore were going to be your bridesmaids one day) cut off. All you had wanted to do was sit in your room and point out where you wanted things to go so that your new brother could move them for you. (When you got older you had realized he wasn’t exactly your brother, but at 6—brother-in-law was too many words for you to pay attention to.) You remember the fit you threw as your sister dragged you out of the house and down to the nearest park.

You don’t mean an actual fit, of course, there was no screaming and crying, no kicking and throwing yourself around. But you’d be lying if you didn’t purposely make it a little harder to pull you out of your room and down the hallway. If you didn’t drag your feet a little more as you walked, taking smaller steps than usual. If you didn’t shut your mouth and keep every comment to yourself, not even breaking to answer if you wanted something to eat. You did. But you wouldn’t speak to your sister to let her know that. This was the hill you would die on.

It was at that park that you first met the Miya twins. The only two there that were your age at the time.

Your sister was so pushy that day. “Make friends!” She (literally) pushed you towards the play structure where they were arguing over who got to go up the ladder to the climbing bars first. You grimaced at the sight—well, at the sound. Two loud voices yelling at each other as they started to go for each others’ hair. Too loud.

You shook your head adamantly but your sister kept pushing until you were just a few feet away from them. She quickly rushed away to watch you from a bench. You looked at your annoyed but she’d just given you a thumbs up to go for it.

“Excuse me.” Your voice came out as a whisper first, too nervous to speak loudly. Neither of the boys acknowledged your presence, slowly getting closer to their argument putting them on the ground. You sighed and tried again. Soft voice raising a couple levels. “Excuse me?”

And that was the moment you saw their faces for the first time. Both froze and stared right at you. You remember looking at the two of them and just thinking—oh god. They’re duplicates. Two nearly identical faces staring at you in confusion.

“What d’ya want?” One of them asked, the one with dark brown hair and brown eyes, annoyance lacing his tone like he wasn’t being held by the collar an inch above the ground as his own hands were wrapped up in his twins’ hair.

Before you had the chance to even open your mouth to respond, he was slammed into the ground by the other. The second boy’s hand released the first’s collar and shoved it straight into his face, blocking all chances to see or talk for the moment. “Why d’ya have ta be so rude.” His hair was darker, black, and his eyes were a shiny grey.

“‘M no- ru-“ the brown-eyed boy’s protests were muffled as he tried to shove his brother off him. He succeeded after a few tries. You stood silent, watching in horror as these strangers fought.

“Uh—” your voice caught their attention this time, “I’m new here.” Both stood up straighter and turned to look at you, finally waiting to hear you out even though your voice was so quiet compared to theirs. You watched as both their faces changed to the same dumb look and they even tilted their heads in the same way, waiting for the punchline. “I’m l/n.”

“Miya.” Two voices spoke at the same time that two hands were presented to you. You blinked at them both and it was like a light clicking on as they realized their mistake.

The rude one spoke again, jerking his thumb at his brother, the one with grey eyes. “Tha’s Osamu.” He then stood a little straighter and pointed to himself proudly. “I’m—“

He was cut off as his brother pushed him. “Ah-noyin’” He accentuated the ‘ah’ and flicked his brother’s head. “Lemme tell ‘er m’own name.”

You struggled to keep a laugh from slipping out, refusing to let the strangers know you had feelings quite yet, let alone that you found them a little amusing.

The one now labeled as both rude and annoying by his brother took his chance to scramble towards his original goal. “Jus for tha’, m’goin’ firs’.”

But just as soon as he claimed that and crawled to the top, he came tumbling down in a mess of metal bangs and small shrieks all caused by a misplaced foot. You let out a giggle then. Unable to help yourself as you watched the boy “‘s what he deserved for bein’ rude.” You laughed out and if you would’ve looked at Osamu’s face at that moment, you would’ve seen a boy who just fell in love.

“I like ya.” Osamu said then, drawing your attention away from his brother trying to wipe dirt from out of his mouth. You tilted your head at him in confusion as he made this declaration, eyes widening slightly. “Ya wan’ some food?” You went to deny the offer but your stomach growled then. Loud enough for the boy in front of you to hear. Reminding you of how stupid you had been all day as you were protesting your sister and her new husband by refusing to eat. A light laugh passed through Osamu’s lips. It made you let a small smile slip out as you nodded at him. “C’mon,” he latched his hand onto yours and started to pull you away from his brother, “ya can have Atsumu’s.”

“’Ey!” The other twin—Atsumu you now knew him as—finally paid attention to you both again as you ran off towards where Osamu was promising you food.

~*~*~*~*~*~

The second time you saw the Miya twins was your first day at your new elementary school. You had convinced your sister to not force you to try and make friends anymore for the rest of your school break. But the second you walked into your classroom, the teacher dragged you in front of the class to introduce you to the rest of the students.

You remember the distaste in the back of your throat as the teacher presented you like a new toy – “everyone, this is l/n y/n, she’s new to town and I want everyone to be really nice to her.” She looked at you expectantly and you remember forcing yourself to give a small wave at the class. When she released you from the confines of her grip at the front of the class you rushed to find a seat, only to be stopped by a familiar face jumping into your path.

“’Ey, I know ya!” You paused, your eyes widening at the enthusiasm radiating off the twin. “Met ya a’the park!” You stared at him and blinked slowly as he didn’t give you the chance to speak. “Ya ‘member me?” You knew exactly which twin this was, the one with brown eyes.

You sighed and decided that what you were going to say then would probably determine the rest of your year. “You’re Osamu’s twin. Right?” You gave a sweet smile and watched as his jaw dropped in shock. A loud laugh came from your right and you dragged your eyes away from the satisfying picture of Atsumu trying to pull his jaw off the floor and over to where Osamu stood next to you holding his stomach. Your eyes lit up at the sight. You could get used to making him laugh.

“Put ya in ya place there, Atsumu.” Osamu laughed and guided you away from his brother. “Sit nexta me?” You smiled and nodded, falling easily into the seat next to the twin that couldn’t stop staring at you with a smile.

The other twin stood there, eyes stuck on you as well, disbelief filling them. “Tha’s ma seat!”

“Not anymore.” You quipped back quietly, sticking your tongue out at him.

It was when you were 8 that you realized that these twins might be part of your life for a while whether you liked it or not.

Growing up with the Miya twins means you get used to loud things. Osamu and Atsumu and their constant bickering had become part of your regular routine. You would repeatedly join Osamu in his teasing of Atsumu, always pulling a laugh out of Osamu when you did. A feeling of joy always filling you when Osamu’s laughs filled your ears as Atsumu would look at you in shock. You would constantly have to break up fights between the two of them (and sometimes others that would accidentally get caught between them). You were used to waiting for them outside of the principal’s office. Waiting for their lectures to be done so that you all could walk home together. You would read books as you waited for detentions and punishments to be dealt.

But the first day of your third year in school together, Osamu greeted you outside your house with a new nickname for me on his tongue. “Y/n/n!” He shouted, immediately wrapping you in a hug as you bounded out of your house and straight into his arms.

“Y/n/n?” You whispered in question as you pulled out of the hug.

Concern etched its way across his face. “Though’ t’was cute? D’ya not like it?”

You shook your head and beamed up at him. “No! I like it!” You pulled away and adjusted your bag as you both walked back to where Atsumu was standing on the street.

“Ya ready for a new year?” Atsumu asked as you reached him, slinging an arm around both your shoulder and his brother’s, making sure that he was between you both.

You rolled your eyes and ducked out from under his arm. “Ready to see how much dumber ya got over break, Thing 2.” You jabbed at him. And the warm feeling returned, Atsumu’s dumbstricken face and Osamu’s laugh.

“Why’re ya such a meanie, Y/n/n?” Atsumu whined as Osamu ducked out from under his arm next and came to walk next to you, leaving his brother a couple steps behind you both.

“Ya deserve it.” You laughed as Osamu’s arm wrapped your shoulder where Atsumu’s had previously been. “And don’t call me that.”

You didn’t have to look back to know that Atsumu’s jaw had fell to the floor again. “Why’s Osamu ‘llowed ta call ya that but m’not?”

You blew a puff of air out of your nose, trying not to fully laugh as you looked lightly over your and Osamu’s touching shoulders. “Cause I like Osamu.” You said with finality.

When you were 10, you picked up a sport, soccer to be exact. You’d be lying if you said it wasn’t a little bit because Atsumu and Osamu were getting so into volleyball and you wanted to find something you liked like that too. It helped that your new sport was foot-based in contrast to their hand-based one. It was when you were 10 that they had come running to you after one of their volleyball camp days, exclaiming that you needed to stop calling them Osamu and Atsumu “immediately”.

“We’re changin’ our names!” Atsumu exclaimed loudly, jumping in front of you as you went to pull your soccer bag onto your shoulder.

Osamu was quick to snatch your duffel from you, swinging it onto his own shoulder with a smile that made your heart constrict. With a smooth motion, he swung his other arm out to smack his brother in the face, not looking away from you or stopping his smiling at you. You giggled as you watched Atsumu’s face be stopped by Osamu’s hand as the rest of his body continued forward for a second. A sound of protest left Atsumu’s lips as Osamu’s voice greeted your ears. “We’re not changin’ our names idiot!” He shot over his shoulder at the boy gripping his nose.

“Why I ought ‘a –” Atsumu went to move towards his brother but you shot him a glare and stepped between them. Ignoring the grumble that left Atsumu’s chest. You both knew that if you were between them, neither would go for a hit.

“Go ‘head, Osamu. Knew ya wouldn’, grandma’d be mad at you.” You flipped your head back to Osamu, dropping the glare and painting a sweet smile on your face.

“See,” he glanced over at Atsumu with a smug smirk, “knew she’d get it.” He rolled his eyes as his twin glared at you instead of him, blaming you for being in his way of the fight he wanted. “Jus’ new nicknames. I get ta be ‘Samu.” He looked at you proudly.

You hummed in thought. “’Samu.” You tilted your head and then smiled. “I like it!” You exclaimed and slung your arm around Osamu’s waist.

“I picked it!” Atsumu said, falling back into step with you both.

You looked at him with a distasteful look. “Oh, well when you say that—” you looked away from Atsumu and tried to cover your smile as you locked eyes with Osamu, both of you knowing you were just messing with him— “I don’t know about it.” Atsumu made a sound at the back of his throat at your words. “But since ‘Samu likes it.” You smiled, trying your hardest to not giggle as you saw Atsumu throw his hands out in annoyance out of the corner of your eye.

He groaned before righting himself again. “Movin’ on ta me.” He exclaimed, straightening out and slapping a smug smile back on his face. “’m gon’ be ‘Tsumu!” He shouted excitedly in your face.

You scoffed and rolled your eyes at him. “That sounds dumb.” You said and smiled as a harsh puff left Osamu’s lips as he tried to keep his laughs down.

“’Samu came up with it!” Atsumu’s voice raised an octave as his jaw dropped at you.

“Oh, well when you say that—” you laughed lightly— “it’s a great name ‘Samu, good job.”

“Yer biased!” Atsumu shouted at you then, voice cracking as he ran a hand over his face.

“Absolutely I am.” You laughed as Osamu squeezed your side. “That’s why he’s Thing 1 and you’re Thing 2. I like him more, so he gets ta be number 1.”

“I hate ya.” Atsumu grumbled at the same time as Osamu smiled over at you with a “Love ya too.”

Growing up with the Miya twins meant that when we started middle school, you started to find yourself at the Miya house more than your own. 12-years-old and you spent more nights curled into Osamu’s bed than your own, preferring that to four screaming wake-up calls a night from your sister’s new baby. You found yourself more and more attached at the hip to Osamu and found Atsumu hanging around you both less. But in the middle of the night it was just the three of you and meaningless talks. But Atsumu and you always stopped talking once Osamu fell asleep.

It was one of those nights when you woke to the room quieter than usual. Osamu was lightly snoring next to you but there were no sounds coming from the other bed in the room. “’Tsumu?” You whispered but there was no response. The door to the room was lightly cracked and you tilted your head in confusion.

You sighed and twisted yourself slightly to escape your blanket. You crawled over Osmau’s (might as well be dead) body. Thankful that he was such a deep sleeper as you nearly knocked him off the bed. Your bare feet hit the cold floor and you hissed slightly as you tiptoed toward the door. Pushing your way past it, you heard a light, consistent thud coming from the back door. Walking quietly to the slightly open door, Atsumu came into your view.

You glanced at the wall clock—3 am—and then back at Atsumu, who was hitting a volleyball repeatedly, practicing his sets you assumed. “’Tsumi?” You whispered, your voice laced with sleep as you rubbed your eyes, stifling a yawn. His eyes snapped towards you, momentarily forgetting about the ball until it smacked him in the face. He groaned and you couldn’t even find the energy to laugh at him. “Are you okay, ‘Tsumi?” You asked, stepping out and onto the porch—immediately regretting your decision as the cold air surrounded you.

“Wha’ya doin’ up, A/n/n?” The nickname rolled off his tongue and usually you’d complain about the twist he’d put on his brother’s nickname for you, but tonight, you couldn’t be bothered. His face was flushed red from the cold despite the jacket wrapped around his shoulders and his breathing was uneven, eyes droopy.

“You were gone.” You whispered, stepping closer to him. “What’re ya doin’ out here? Its 3am, ‘Tsumi.”

“Couldn’ slee’.” He mumbled, abandoning the ball and walking up to you. “Came ta think.” He motioned towards the abandoned throw blanket that was crumpled on the porch a few steps away from you. “Decided I needed ta practice.”

You sighed and waved him over to you. “Sit down. Calm down.” You sat on the porch and pulled your knees up to your chest and he fell onto ground next to you with a sigh. “Talk ta me.” You whispered, trying to stop your body from shivering. You were failing and Atsumu noticed.

He sighed and sat up, pulling the blanket over to you both and draping part over his shoulder. He held the other end in his hand and opened his arm. “C’mere.” You almost didn’t hear it, but you welcomed the gesture. You scooted towards him and fell into his side. He wrapped his arm and the blanket around you and you sighed at the warmth. “M’sure ‘Samu told ya he got setter on the team.” You sighed and nodded. “I wanted it.” He muttered, looking down. You knew that. Of course you’d known that. He thought it was the coolest position and Atsumu always wanted to be the coolest. “It all comes easy t’Samu. I have ta practice.”

“Not at 3am ‘Tsumi.” Your voice didn’t raise above a whisper, the warmth radiating off him seeming to make you more tired. “M’sure that you and ‘Samu will end up in the positions you were made for.” You yawned and closed your eyes as your head fell on his shoulder. “But ya ain’t gonna get better by not sleepin’.”

“I like ya more when ya not bein’ a meanie.” Atsumu chuckled softly and pulled you a little bit closer to him.

“I like ya more when ya not bein’ a loudmouth.” You muttered back. You couldn’t bring your eyes to open but could feel as his breathing began to calm down. “We should go back inside ‘Tsumi. S’warmer in there.”

“Jus’ a little longer?” he whispered back. “I’ll keep ya warm a/n/n.” You hummed in response and let yourself relax into him.

“Jus’ a little longer, ‘kay?” You didn’t remember falling asleep that night, or how you ended up back in the house. You remember waking up curled next to Atsumu instead of Osamu the next morning, but not how you got there and neither of you never spoke of it again.

Your second year of middle school, Atsumu was at his house less when Osamu and you were both there. “Tired o’ third wheelin’ ya two as ya bully me.” He’d claimed and told you both he picked up new friends and would still be around but that they “don’t tease me as much.” You’d both teased him desperately for it and mocked his claims of “This s’why I hate ya both.”

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss seeing Atsumu’s face around—actually, yes, you would be, because Osamu had the same dumb face. The lack of Atsumu meant Osamu and you turned your teasing onto each other more. But you’ll admit that you missed Atsumu’s presence now and then, ever the dramatic one of the group. Don’t get it wrong, you were all dramatic at your own pace, in your own ways. Growing up with the Miya twins meant developing your own way to display your dramaticism, or over-dramatization.

Osamu may seem mostly inexpressive, but you could almost always tell from just a small crinkle in his eyes, a certain change in glint, exactly what he was about to do. It was in private that you pulled the most emotions from Osamu, the playful ones and the shouting along at your excitement, not just the anger and competitiveness that Atsumu pulled out of him regularly.

You were quiet most of the time, alike to Osamu in that way. But your quietness seemed to stem more from your shyness than the actual large indifference to the world around you. You had an awful habit of becoming way too easily flustered and the quieter you were the easier you could hide stuttering remarks when you were flustered. Now maybe you shouldn’t call yourself shy, cause it’s not to say you didn’t get a mouth on you when you wanted to. All your friends, the twins especially, knew that you had a bad habit of running your mouth before your brain caught up. A bad temper, awful habit of taunting, spit sarcasm like a second language, and got over-excited way too easily.

But the second Atsumu ran his loud mouth to start taunting you, the only thing that could make your face any hotter was the absolute terror that was Osamu joining him. If they were bad when they were against each other, they were worse when they were teamed up. But it was an almost comforting feeling having the three of you together. So like you said, you’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss having Atsumu around sometimes. But you’d also be lying if in the current moment that you were missing him. Because currently, you weren’t.

Currently, you were curled up with Osamu on the couch in the living room. You were the only ones home and had decided that watching a movie would be the best way to pass time being that neither of you really wanted to do the homework you’d been assigned and neither of you wanted to go out. You’d made some food, “no ‘Tsumu to steal it” he’d laughed as you did and pulled a blanket out to the living room to throw on the movie. It was an American comedy that you had already determined could count as studying since it was in English. “Ta help us with learnin’ the language, ya know.” You’d laughed while stealing the blanket all to yourself.

It was you stealing the blanket that had wound you both in the position you were in now. He’d returned to the couch and nearly physically fought you, trying to wrestle part of the blanket out of your grasp. You’d fallen off the couch in the middle of the struggle, nearly knocking his plate off the table.

“Miysam!” You’d exclaimed, your nickname for him flying off your tongue as you tumbled towards the ground, your limbs tangling in the fabric so you couldn’t rid myself of it if you tried. Osamu’s mouth had fell open in shock as he looked down at you, slight worry in his features as his did. Your groan was faint as the half of your body in contact with the ground ached from the impact. “Ya almost lost our food. How could’ya.” You looked up at him betrayed and were immediately greeted with his loud laugh. The laugh that you had gotten used to sending a warm feeling spreading through your chest. Your cheeks flared up as you wiggled in the blanket, struggling to move. “Help me out ya idiot!” You shouted up at him, trying to control your laughs as you squirmed.

“’ey!” He laughed out, grabbing his phone to take a picture of you. “Ya wan’ help? Don’t insult me, clumsy.” He smiled down at you and then leaned down ‘til his nose almost touched yours. “Say the words if ya want ma help, clumsy.” He taunted.

Your cheeks grew hotter. “I don’t need ya help.” You shrugged an arm free and easily caught him by the shirt collar, shoving him back towards the couch. He laughed as he collapsed onto the couch, drawing you up with him. You collapsed on top of him in a fit of giggles. You’d mostly stayed like that for most of the movie, you half on top of him with the blanket wrapped around the both of you. You occasionally pushed food into the other’s mouth when you thought you were talking too much, but at this point you were the only one with any left.

You were reaching the end of the movie at this point, where the main character was admitting that she was 25 and had never been kissed before. You hummed in thought and lifted your head up from his chest looking up. “What would ya do?” He looked down at you, tilting his head in confusion. “Ya know, if ya were 25 and’d ne’er kissed no one?”

He snorted down at you. “Not gon’ happ’n.”

“I don’ know.” You singsonged at him. “That snort was pre’y un’tractive, Miysam.” His jaw went slack and he shoved at your face with a laugh.

He suddenly went quiet staring at you. “Wha’ if,” he swallowed and looked to the side away from you, “wha’ if we,” he cleared his throat and you looked at him expectantly but he went quiet. Quieter than his normal self.

You caught on to what he was saying and your cheeks flared up again. “I, um,” you were like a dear frozen in the headlights of Osamu’s stare, “you don’ know what yer sayin’.” He sighed and propped himself up more to look down at you.

“Well I jus’ mean I ain’ had ma firs’ kiss,” he muttered, his hand came up to scratch the back of his neck, his grey eyes flitting back and forth across the room, “an’ I know you ain’ had yours yet.” He snuck a look at your face, which you didn’t think could feel any hotter than it currently was. “Righ’? I’d’ve heard all ‘bout it.”

“I-” you swallowed hard and blinked up at him, thought about lying to him then realized you couldn’t, “well, no.” He looked down at you again, and you locked eyes with him, both of you holding your breaths. “I mean, at leas’ we coul’ tease ‘Tsumi ‘bout bein’ the only one ta have not been kissed.” You joked with a half smile.

He cracked a huge smile and snorted again. “Plus then we don’ gotta worry ‘bout the firs’time bein’ weird.” You took a deep breath and nodded. You took a deep breath and then nodded.

“Yeah, yeah.” You looked at him again and felt your palms get sweaty. Were you really about to kiss your best friend from the last 7 years? The boy whose bed you slept in more regularly than your own. You may have been more comfortable with him than anyone else but you were both still just awkward 13-year-olds. “How-uh-how should we…” you trailed off and gestured awkwardly between the two of you with your hand, suddenly very aware you were still laying on his chest.

“Um-” he looked at me awkwardly and shifted under you a little bit, “Gin was kinda talkin’ ‘bout tips the other day.” He mumbled and you tried not to giggle as his smile turned nervous. “Could I jus’ try?” You didn’t trust yourself to speak so you just awkwardly nodded at him. He carefully placed his hand on your cheek and pulled your faces together. Just before your lips met, your noses smashed together and you pulled away from each other violently. “S’ry.” He winced scrunching his nose.

“A’least that won’ happ’n our firs’time now.” You mumbled, rubbing your nose. “We can try ‘gain if ya wan’.” You whispered and he nodded. He blew out a puff of air and put his hand back on your face leaning to try again. He tilted his head this time and your noses didn’t clash this time. You squeezed your eyes shut and his lips met yours hastily, pressing together harshly. He held you in place for a couple seconds before you both pulled back. Both of your cheeks were flushed, his ears a bright shade of pink. “That was-” you trailed off again.

“Awful.” He muttered and you let out a sigh of relief.

“Oh than’ god.” You breathed out a laugh and he followed suit. “Thought i’might be jus’ me.” He shook his head and snorted. “Le’s no’tell ‘Tsumi?” You asked wanting to forget it happened.

He quickly shook his head adamantly in agreement. “Ne’er.” You both quickly broke out laughing and separated. “Oh god.” You both fell away from each other. He suddenly lunged for your food and you screeched in protest.

“Miysam! No! Tha’s mine!” He shoved the food in his mouth as you moved to tackle him, both of you protesting, the awkwardness forgotten.

You were fifteen when a boy asked you out for the first time. Your last trimester of middle school and the first boy brave enough to break through the barrier in front of you that was known as the Miya twins. He was a boy from the boys’ soccer team at your school. The girls’ and boys’ teams had a joint practice and he’d come up to you at the end, charming smile painted on his face.

“My name is Tamura Eichi. You’re l/n y/n. Right?” You had nodded dumbly then, not expecting him to know who you were. He was tall and attractive and knew who you were. “I think you’re very pretty and I was hoping you might want to go on a date with me.” You would’ve described your face at that moment akin to Atsumu’s face whenever a girl turned down his advances. You had stood by as girl after girl had confessed to Osamu and Atsumu, but had never been confessed to yourself. You didn’t think that anyone would like you like that, at least no one brave enough to slip by the twins to get to you. You hadn’t realized that you’d been staring at him dumbfounded, not giving an answer, until his voice came again. “So… is that a—”

“Oh my gosh, sorry.” You laughed awkwardly and then smiled, nodding at him. “Yes I would like that.”

He laughed at you. “You’re cute.” Your face flushed a deep red and your eyes widened, completely speechless. “Can I take you out tomorrow night?” You nodded dumbly—not trusting your voice. “Great, bye y/n, see you tomorrow.”

You walked in a daze to meet Osamu and Atsumu that day. Dopey grin on your face as you met them outside the front gate of school. You barely noticed as Atsumu called your name as you got closer to them.

“She looks weird.” He narrowed his eyes and scrutinized you, looking you up and down. “’Samu wha’s wrong with‘er?” He asked, referring to the dopey look on your face.

“Shuttup Miya.” You snipped at him, trying to dispose of your smile as you adjusted your bags on your shoulders.

“Why ya so smiley y/n/n?” Osamu asked, nudging your shoulder, you got caught off balance and nearly tumbled to the ground with a shriek. Atsumu barked out a laugh as Osamu barely caught you. “Easy there clumsy.” Both he and Atsumu had grown over the past year and had finally pulled ahead of you on the height scale.

You clung onto his arm as you rebalanced yourself. “Miysam,” you singsonged, not even caring that you almost just ate it, “I got asked on a date.” You beamed up at him.

Both boys froze and looked down at you. “Ya what?” Osamu asked, staring down at you in shock.

“Who’d wanna go out wit ya?” Atsumu screwed up his face and glared down at you before sending a ‘can you believe this’ look over to Osamu. “Wit ya ugly mug?”

“Shut yer face, loudmouth.” You growled at him, quickly pushing a hand out and shoving his arm. Having not expected you to shove him, he quickly lost his balance and tumbled into the ground. Osamu let out a loud snort of a laugh and you drew your eyes back up to him, painting the smile back on your face. “Tamura Eichi.” You breathed his name, swooning at the sound of it rolling off your tongue. “He’s captain of the boys’ soccer team.” Your smile grew. “He wants ta take me out t’morrow.”

“I don’t like ‘im.” Atsumu said from his position still on the floor. “Heard ‘bout him, ‘e’s full o’ himself.”

“And you’re not? Thing 2.” You scoffed down at him and shot a quick kick to his thigh, one not meant to hurt but to make a point.

“Shuttup meanie.” Atsumu scrambled up, glaring at you as he straightened.

“Quit ya whinin’.” Osamu smacked the back of Atsumu’s head and you giggled as the latter stumbled from the force. “Look at our little y/n/n, growin’ up. Did’ya say yes?” You nodded excitedly and he smiled fondly down at you. “That mean yer headin’ home tonight? Or ya still comin’ for movie night?”

Atsumu and Osamu both looked down at you expectantly for an answer. “Of course m’comin’ ta watch movies. Like I’d abandon ya both. Ya both’d be lost without me.” You went up on your toes, slinging your arms over their necks and yanking them down. You laughed as they both stumbled, being pulled down by your weight before you realized why you’d been avoiding touching them too much.

Both of them were both still covered in sweat and you let out a sound of disgust. You slid your arms away from them quickly, attempting to wipe them on the fabric of the soccer jacket you still adorned. “Ewwwww,” you shuddered and shook your body dramatically, “you both are gross and are taking showers the second we get home.”

You didn’t have time to register the playful glint in Osamu’s eyes before he lunged at you. You quickly dodged him as your eyes widened. “But y/n/n, ya love us.”

“No.” You warned, stiffening your arm out in front of me, flat palm held in his direction. “Don’t you come near me ‘Samu.” You warned, starting to back away but the smirk he gave told you that you’d have to run.

“C’mon y/n/n.” He laughed and lunged again and you shrieked. You quickly turned and bolted away from him. He chased after you. “Yer not gonna ‘scape.” He laughed as you quickly changed directions, barely missing his arm coming to trap you.

“No!” You laughed as you sprinted back towards Atsumu. “Yer all gross an’ sweaty. Get ‘way!” You skidded and threw yourself behind Atsumu. “’Tsumi!” You shrieked with a laugh. “Protect me!”

You were greeted by a laugh as Atsumu moved from in front of you. “Nah.” He gripped your arm so you couldn’t move away again. “On ya own.”

You gasped as you felt Osamu’s arm wrap around your waist from behind. “Traiter!” You shrieked at Atsumu as you were hauled away from him and your back hit Osamu’s chest. You could feel his damp shirt against your neck and you made a noise of protest. “Lemme go.” You whined, struggling to throw his grip from your waist.

“Ah c’mon, y/n/n.” Osamu laughed and dragged you into his armpit. You shrieked. Line = crossed. A muffled ‘ew’ dragged its way out of your mouth as he tried to rub your head into his sweat. “S’not that bad.” Osamu laughed as you struggled and gagged.

“I hate ya!” You cried as Osamu loosened his grasp and you tried to pull away again. “M’gonna start sayin’ I like ‘Tsumi more.” You whined but both the twins laughed.

“Tha’s ‘kay.” Osamu laughed before hauling you up and throwing you over his shoulder.

“Put me down!” You shrieked as your face was suddenly met with his back. It was still soaking wet and you gagged. “This’s disgusting Osamu! Ya back’s all sweaty.”

“Smell’s good?” Atsumu’s face came into view with a smirk painted onto it. Both of them laughed at you as you gagged and pounded your fists.

“I lied. I hate ya both.” You groaned as they kept walking. “Ne’er gon’ talk ta either o’ ya again.” You protested but they just ignored you as they continued to their house.

Your promise was forgotten the second that you’d taken a shower at their house. They let you have the first shower and fought over who got the second. You’d stolen a drawer from each of them in their dressers and kept a handful of clothes and other essentials in them. It was something Atsumu never failed to complain about and something you’d never failed to smack him over the head for when he wouldn’t stop on his own accord. You’d all spent the night on the couch binging a myriad of movies—what you did every Friday night; designated movie night. You’d ended up with your head in Osamu’s lap and your legs thrown across Atsumu’s just like you always did (except for when you would occasionally switch whose lap was where). You’d fallen asleep on the couch in that position at some point and woken up in the morning in Osamu’s bed, like usual.

You’d left earlier than usual that day, before Atsumu even woke up. It wasn’t hard to do, he had a bad habit of sleeping in way too late. But you’d left and been back to your own house before 10am. Your sister’s first baby had grown out of his screaming in the middle of the night phase, but not his screaming throughout the day phase quite yet. Her baby girl had taken up the mantle of screaming through the night, however.

Walking into your house that morning, you’d been expecting to have to fight to keep your headache at bay. But it was as if some power out there had blessed you because when you walked in, it was eerily quiet.

“Hey! You’re home.” Your sister’s voice carried from behind you. You turned and she leaned against the entrance to the kitchen with a smile. “Just you and me today, they went to the park. Thought you might miss the quiet day. Was expectin’ you to be at the Miya’s house.” She set the rag she’d been holding down on the counter and turned her attention fully to you.

“I-“ you cleared your throat and felt your cheeks start to warm up, “I got a date tonight. Wanted to get ready.”

You watched her face light up and you swore she was about to start jumping up and down and clapping. “Did the Miya boy finally ask you out!” She shouted and your jaw dropped in shock and confusion. “You know, Osamu?”

You shook your head clearly. “No. No, no, no.” You groaned and ran your hand over your face. “I told you,” you whined, “we’re just friends.” Apparently everyone was rooting for Osamu and you to date but neither of you saw that happening. Sure you’d kissed a few times since that one night, but purely for practicing purposes. When he’d wanted to kiss a girl for the first time he’d come to you first and practiced. And you’d made fun of him for how sloppy the kiss had been. And he’d gone and kissed his girl the next day. Hell, they’d even lasted a full week before he said that he just didn’t think it was going to end up working. “Someone from the boys’ soccer team asked me out.”

“Oh.” Her face dropped for a split second before it perked back up. “Well,” she dragged the word before slowly approaching you, “will you let me help you get ready?” You stared at her warily for a second before sighing and reluctantly nodding. She really did clap her hands together then, a small squeal of excitement leaving her lips as she went to drag you off to her room. “You don’t have the right clothes.”

You’d let her play dress up with you that day, she’d left your hair mostly natural but had made sure that your face would be left completely unobscured. “Can’t have you trying to hide behind your hair when you get flustered.” She’d joked with you. When. Not if. You’d rolled your eyes in irritation which got you a lecture about how you couldn’t do that on the date because not only would he find it rude, but it had a possibility of ruining your makeup. You’d complained up and down the wall when she’d slipped one of her old dresses on you.

Your complaints stopped when you’d seen yourself in the mirror. The dress fell down to your knees and accentuated all the right places on your body. Flattering your body type perfectly. “It never fit me quite right.” Your sister had laughed and you’d surprised her with a hug.

The date itself had gone amazing. Eichi had shown up with flowers and had taken you to a local ice cream shop. You’d both spent hours of the afternoon/evening talking and laughing. You’d never spent that much uninterrupted time with anyone besides the twins before. It was refreshing. An entire change of pace.

Eichi had been funny and playful but never quite in the overwhelming way that Atsumu was. He listened well too, always adding in his input the way that Osamu sometimes forgot to do. When the sun had officially set, he’d walked you back to your house and had stopped at the gate to your yard.

“I had an amazing time with you.” He whispered, his hand still intertwined from your walk here. Your cheeks were heated and you were thankful for the dimly lit gateway you stood in, hiding all possible evidence of it. “I would really like to do it again.” He spoke again before you had the chance to respond to the first comment. You were so in awe that you just nodded dumbly, the same dopey smile from the day before painted on your face again. “I would also,” he whispered, stepping slightly closer, “really like to kiss you.”

“Okay.” You whispered back without giving yourself time to second guess the decision. You barely caught the smile on his lips before he leaned in. He was the only person you’d kissed besides Osamu and it was different. Less awkward and more like he knew what he was doing. His hand had cupped the back of your neck to hold you in place. There was no crashing of noses as he tilted his head and pressed his lips softly to yours. It was pleasant and stole your breath and when he pulled back you accidentally let your lips follow his slightly.

He'd let out a light laugh and disconnected your hands with a smaller kiss to the back of your hand. “I’ll see you on Monday?” He asked as he took a step back.

“Ye-“ you cleared your throat when your voice came out higher pitched than you’d meant it to, “yeah, on Monday.” He’d watched you enter the gate to your house and start to walk the path to your door before he turned and left. You never made it to your front door.

You’d let out a happy squeal and quickly kicked your uncomfortable shoes off your feet and picked them up before turning and bolting down to the Miya house. You let yourself in quickly with your own key and greeted their grandma kindly before pushing into the twins’ room without announcing yourself.

“Put a shirt on ‘Tsumi.” You said immediately and laughed as Atsumu screeched like a girl and tried to hide his body because he was only in boxers.

“Wha’ happened ta knockin’!?” He shouted, quickly grabbing the pair of sweats right next to him and pulling them on quickly. You paid him no mind as you flopped down onto Osamu’s bed and laid your head in his lap, smiling giddily up at him.

“Ya look nice.” Osamu took a look at your dress and you grinned and smoothed down the skirt a little bit. “Wha’s the occasion?”

You saw Atsumu’s face appear in your field of vision next to Osamu’s and you couldn’t stop your smiling. “My date.” You let out a giddy laugh. Osamu hummed in recognition, a fond smile finding its way onto his lips. Atsumu, on the other hand, screwed his face up in distaste and opened his mouth to speak. You quickly cut him off. “Eichi was so nice.” You swooned. “He brought flowers and kissed me goodnight and wants to do it again!” You let out a little squeal—you could hate yourself for the action later—and kicked your feet in the air a little bit.

“Hey! Watch it!” Atsumu chided, dodging one of your feet and dropping out of your line of sight. “I still don’t like him.” He complained and you rolled your eyes.

“No one asked ya.” You said, propping yourself up so you could glare at him properly. “Bet he doesn’t like ya either.” You chipped and were easily greeted with backup.

“No one likes ‘Tsumu.” Osamu snorted a laugh from behind you and your smile grew back on your face.

“Like I care.” Atsumu huffed and rolled his eyes again. “Whatever, jus’ don’t come crying ta me when he’s what I told ya.”

“I won’t.” You fell back on Osamu’s lap, smiling as he played absentmindedly with a piece of your hair, continuing his conversation from before you dropped in. You were content to only half listen to any conversation that night, still mentally swooning over the boy who wanted to take you out again.

~*~*~*~*~*~

You didn’t have to come crying to Atsumu about Eichi at all. Eichi had asked you to be his girlfriend after just two more dates and you’d made it through the rest of the trimester. Then, you’d made it through the first trimester of high school And then, for the first time in your life, you shared your summer.

Growing up with the Miya twins meant that they monopolized most of your time, but now, with Eichi around, you made a point to split your time as much as possible. Atsumu tried to be around a lot more when you were there now. Talking about how you ‘were never around’ and how you ‘owed him this’ and ‘owed him that’. He was exhausting, like always but you missed it. And when Osamu and you would team up to bully Atsumu together, it brought back the familiar fluttering of hearing Osamu’s laugh when Atsumu gave that stupid look of jaw-dropped, mock betrayal towards you both.

You took time with the twins wherever you could get it and it often ended with you all doing crazy things. Which is how you ended up here, basically straddling Atsumu as you swatted at his hands trying to come up and wipe his face. “Stop that!” You swatted his hand yet again as it came up.

“It kinda burns.” He whined. “And it smells.” You rolled your eyes and smacked his hand… again. “Meanie.” He bit out, sticking his tongue out at you.

“Ya want bleach in ya eyes, loudmouth?” he rolled his eyes at you and grumbled under his breath. “Didn’t think so. Now keep ya hands away from ya face.” You were standing above his sitting form, his head leaned back into the bathroom sink. “Be more like Miysam.” You teased, glancing over at the other twin who was sitting quietly, his eyes closed as he relaxed. The bleach in Osamu’s hair was washed out now and he was just waiting for the haphazardly applied grey hair dye to set in.

“He’s sleepin’!” Atsumu exclaimed and you giggled as, almost exactly on cue, Osamu let out a soft snore.

“Well, it is three in the mornin’.” You laughed and he glared up at you as you impatiently checked the color on his hair.

“See! Ya gotta be as impatient as I am!” His exclamation came softer this time at the recognition of how late it was. He reached up to scratch his head and you smacked his hand again. “I’m gon’ kill ya, I swear.” You rolled your eyes at him but smiled nonetheless. “Can’ we jus’ say screw it? Le’s wash it!”

You laughed and watched as he beamed up at you. “What if it isn’t the right color?” You warned and he groaned, rolling his eyes.

“Who cares. S’long as Osamu and I’ve got the diff’rent colors tha’s wha’ matters. And that ya had fun.”

You laughed and reached over him to turn on the faucet. “O’ course I had fun.” You leaned back again and looked down at his face with a smile. “Don’t blame me if ya hair looks like piss, ‘Tsumi.” He shrugged and you shook your head with another giggle. Your fingers easily pushed into his hair, dragging it under the water and slowly working out all of the drying bleach. You snuck a few glances down at him and smiled as you noticed him staring at you, watching you work. His cheeks were tinged pink from his continued position of not having his head tilted the right way and his lips fell into a relieved smile. You continued in silence as he watched you, working conditioner into his hair to ease the damage the bleach had been causing it.

You removed yourself from your place above him and he whined and went to sit up. “Where ya goin’?”

You laughed as you pushed him back down. “Stay. I’m gonna wash out ‘Samu’s hair and then I’ll come wash out ya conditioner.”

Atsumu rolled his eyes dramatically as you came to stand next to Osamu who was leaning against his own sink, still softly snoring. That boy could sleep like the dead, it was surprising that he wasn’t the one that was always late. “Stupid ‘Samu can wash out his own.” Atsumu grumbled as you began to run your fingers through his brother’s hair under the now running water.

“He’s sleeping?” You laughed and winced as you saw the grey starting to lightly stain your hands. “And so can ya.”

“But, ya give little massages with it.” He smiled and you glared playfully.

“Hush or ya can wash ya own hair.” A couple more soft grumbles came from Atsumu as you washed Osamu’s hair until the water ran clear. When you shut the water off, you came back to Atsumu’s chair and resumed your previous position. “Alright ya big baby.” Atsumu smiled up at you but made no snide remarks as you began to massage the conditioner from his hair. You were right and both of your impatience had left him with a shade you hadn’t been going for. You’d winced. At least it wasn’t splotchy. “M’sorry.” You whispered as he finally stood up to look at it.

“Nah.” He’d laughed with you about it. “I like it. Ya did good.” He laughed and pulled you into a quick side hug.

“Help me get him ta bed?” You asked, trying to get Osamu out of the chair that he was sleeping in still. “Gosh, what s’he eat?” You groaned and Atsumu laughed as he easily threw one of Osamu’s arms easily over his own shoulders and hauled him into an almost standing position. You definitely were not pulling your weight on getting Osamu back to his bed but Atsumu definitely didn’t complain about it.

“M'not really tired.” Atsumu whispered from his bed after you’d both settled down and turned off the lights.

“Same.” Was your whispered reply. You tried to find the words to ask if you could talk to him til you slept but he beat you to it.

“Come up here and talk ta me?” Instead of responding, you crawled out of Osamu’s bed and to Atsumu’s quickly. You’d talked in hushed whispers and giggles until you’d both fallen asleep that night.

The next morning you were late to your breakfast date with Eichi and it was the first time you had a serious fight. He’d been mad about the grey hair dye that was staining your fingers as you were profusely apologizing for missing your date. You’d told him about dying the boys’ hair and it was the first time you fought about your relationship with the Miya twins. But it definitely wasn’t the last time.

Eichi and you lasted barely a month into the second trimester of your first year of high school. The Miya twins’ upcoming birthday being the cause of the final straw for your relationship. Growing up with the Miya twins you learned one thing when it came to their birthday. You had to make time to hang out with each of them individually, as well as together. You could attempt to skip the individual part but you just knew the cries you would get, you’d give in instantly to the complaints. The Miya twins’ birthday was an all day event for the three of you. Had been for the past nine years and there was no way you’d break the streak on their sixteenth.

Eichi had been pissed when you told him about the day you’d planned on missing school and about what your plans were. You’d been hanging out with his teammates just outside his clubroom after practice on a Friday, drinking hot drinks to make up for the chilly air of the late September afternoon.

“No.” He’d said with finality, like he had a say in the matter. “No, you’re not skipping school to hang out with them.”

You’d scoffed and widened your eyes to give him an incredulous look. “You’re joking.” His face stayed serious and you stood up straighter. “Their part o’ my life. Ya knew that gettin’ into this.” He rolled his eyes at your words and you gripped your cup a little tighter trying to calm yourself down. “Eichi,” your tone was warning, daring him, “I’m not skippin’ out on their birthdays. It’s a decade long tradition now.”

“I don’t need my girlfriend spending an entire day alone with those two idiots.” He’d started to raise his voice and you bit the inside of your cheek to hold your words back. “You’re especially not skippin’ school to do it!” He’d drawn the attention of some teammates who were trying desperately to look like they weren’t trying to eavesdrop. “I don’t fucking get it.”

“Don’t call them idiots.” You pressed the words out through clenched teeth, your voice coming out lower than it normally would have.

“You,” he pointed an accusatory finger towards you, “call them idiots all the time, what’s the big deal.” You growled and went to retaliate when he cut you off. “They’re nothin’ but a pair of idiots. They’re rowdy and fight all the time, ya come back to me with bruises sometimes.” You rolled your eyes, yeah bruises you got from soccer and from your own habit of tripping over every crack in the sidewalk, not your boys. Never your boys, they’d never lay a finger on you. He continued, “especially fucking Atsumu who’s so fucking full of himself and is just as fucking well to be the trash you should ignore on the side of the road.” And that was it, the final push for your anger.

“Keep his goddamn name out ya mouth!” You shoved at his chest even if he didn’t move. “I don’t give a damn no more.” You growled and thought that your grip on your cup might send the boiling liquid pouring over your hand at any second. “Atsumu ain’t trash and don’t ya ever fucking call him that again.”

He’d scoffed in your face and clenched his jaw at your defensiveness over the boy. “I’m your fucking boyfriend. You don’t put that piece of arrogant, loudmouth trash over your boyfriend.”

“Watch. Your. Fucking. Mouth.” You seethed, dodging his hand as he aimed to grab your arm. “I don’ ever wanna hear his name come out ya mouth again. I don’ ever wanna hear ya call him any o’ that again.” You glared and him and shook your head. It was Friday and you had places to be. “I’m leaving.” You turned and got only a few steps before he spoke again.

“Y/n.” You stopped your steps but didn’t look back. “You leave now and we’re done. You choose them over me.” You let out a short laugh. Not worth a response. And you kept walking.

You made your way quietly to the volleyball gym where you knew that Osamu and Atsumu would be waiting for you, like they did every Friday afternoon. Like they did every movie night. Every time you all had plans. All your anger boiled over the closer you got and you ended up throwing the hot drink into a wall, the contents exploding out in a satisfying way. You took a deep breath, trying to shop the shaking in your hands and-

“Woah, what’d that cup do to you?” Suna’s voice was first to greet your ears with a quiet laugh as he stood next to Osamu. Osamu’s face filled with concern and he quickly abandoned his conversation with Suna to find his spot next to you.

Before either of you got a chance to speak again, Atsumu was sticking his face in front of yours. “Why ya look like ya just got hit by a truck, a/n/n?”

Your dissipating anger returned full force. “Why you-“ you growled and shoved your hand into his face, watching as he stumbled from the force of the unexpected hit. He barely had time to groan and register what had happened when you went to lunge at him. “Shut ya face ya loudmouth!” Osamu caught you in the air by your waist just before you made contact with Atsumu again and you paid no mind to the fact that you were pointlessly swinging your arms and legs in Atsumu’s direction.

“Listen meanie! I didn’t come for ya to be a brat ta me!” Atsumu stood straight again, holding his nose where your palm had made contact. He went to speak again but Osamu cut him off.

“I’ll let ‘er go.” He threatened, you had already stopped swinging but the threat still held because Atsumu shut his already opened mouth. “Wan’ talk ‘bout it, y/n/n?” he looked down at you questioningly. You shook your head. “So, le’s go home and watch some movies.” He immediately dropped the subject and released you from his grasp. He turned you towards the gates of the school. “Le’s go get ya another hot drink, too.”

Atsumu stayed quiet but glared at you, to which you responded with a glare of your own. Osamu had to keep himself between the two of you the whole way to their house. They did get you another hot drink and Atsumu paid for it, which put you in a better mood with him for the rest of the night. You resumed your place sitting between the two of them and like always, fell asleep on the couch with your head in Atsumu’s lap and your feet strewn across Osamu’s as some movie played in the background.

You stayed at their house the entire weekend and neither questioned why you didn’t leave periodically to go be with Eichi. At least, they didn’t wonder out loud, to you. You’d caught them once trying to discuss it when you had left for the shower but they’d dropped the conversation when you’d walked back in.

It was on Monday that it all caught up to you. You’d been unfortunate enough to not have either of the twins in your class for high school. But fortunate in the fact that Eichi also was not in your class. You’d gathered your food for lunch and did what you always did, leave your class and head towards class 1 to find Osamu for lunch. Passed by class 2 to grab Atsumu and continued to walk quietly.

And then you and Atsumu passed Eichi in the hallway.

“Yeah, I broke up with her cause she wouldn’t put out.” You saw Atsumu’s steps falter as you passed.

“’Tsumi.” You whispered lowly, pulling on his sleeve to get him the last few steps towards Osamu’s classroom. “Ignore it.” He looked down at you questioningly, realization crossing his features as he realized why you’d been down all weekend.

“Should’ve known that she was just a whore for the Miya twins.” The words made you freeze and you felt Atsumu’s blazer leave your grasp.

“Wanna say that ‘gain for me.” Atsumu asked, unbuttoning his blazer as he turned and took a step away from you and towards your now ex-boyfriend. “Don’ think I heard ya right.” He dropped his blazer to the ground, hands already shoving the sleeves of his shirt up, and you went to take a step forward but were stopped by a familiar arm. Osamu and Suna were on either side of you now. Suna already had his camera out and Osamu’s face was set in a serious look made of stone.

“I said,” Eichi laughed as he took a step away from his friends and towards the clearing hallway, “little y/n/n is just a whore for you and your brother.” You’re pretty sure you heard the crack of Atsumu’s fist hitting Eichi’s face before you saw it. Eichi’s smirk was wiped off in a single hit but that didn’t stop Atsumu from going for more.

“’Tsumi!” You cried out, trying to lunge for them but Osamu kept you back. “Miysam! Make him stop please.” You begged but Osamu shook his head.

“Pretty sure he deserves this.” You grimaced as Eichi landed a punch on Atsumu and hid your face into Osamu. It wasn’t the first time that Atsumu had ended up in the principal’s office because of you, but it was the first time he’d done it to protect you.

Growing up with the Miya twins meant that you got a knack for competitiveness. A habit of pushing your limits to get better than your best. You had a habit of pushing it too far. Osamu and Atsumu always used each other to compete, catching up to the other, pulling ahead of the other was always enough. You had myself, be better than the last time. So you had a habit of going too far. Of not knowing what your limit was and passing it.

Osamu lectured you constantly for it. For the bruises and sprains that he and Atsumu helped you care for on a regular basis. For the days that they’d find you passed out over study materials because your body had finally given out from overuse. It was never really bad until high school, where it got infinitely worse than middle school. And when you’d left Eichi you suddenly had more time to throw yourself into improvement.

It was the last week of your first year of high school when you went entirely too far. As shown by the fact that you had woken up in a hospital bed after you thought you had been at practice.

Your eyes were struggling to open properly at first before your coach came into view. Relief washed over his face as he saw you conscious. “Oh good, was worried about you there, l/n.”

You tried to sit up but were immediately stopped by a figure to your left. A nurse had lightly pressed her hands against your shoulders and guided you back down. “You shouldn’t try to get up just yet, you might throw up.” She warned and you were suddenly aware that the world was a little blurrier than you were used to—like you’d forgotten to put on glasses.

“Whappened?” Your words slurred and you scrunched your eyebrows in irritation at the poorly formed words.

“You just dropped.” Your coach supplied, ever-so-elegant with his words. “One second you were sprinting after the ball like always and the next you were tumbling to the ground. Nasty fall.”

“We’ve got you on some pain meds right now.” The nurse said softly as she helped prop up your bed slowly. “But it’ll hit you once they wear off.” Pain meds. That accounted for the heavy feeling in your limbs and why your vision seemed to be a little hazy. As if sensing your next question, she spoke again. “You have a fractured ankle. It’s a light fracture so you don’t need a cast unless you decide that you can’t stay off of it. That means crutches.” You winced at the thought but kept quiet as she kept talking. “You have some severe friction burns on your side as well from the fall.”

“I don’t even remember tripping.” You mumbled your hands rubbing over your face like the motion and feeling would bring more consciousness into your mind. “How hard did I hit my head when I went down to forget that?”

“You didn’t trip.” Your coach said then, worry still etched into his face as he laid his hand gently on your head. “You were unconscious before you went down.”

You shook your head lightly trying to figure out if you’d heard him correctly. “You did hit your head hard though, you have a light concussion. I’ll be talking to your school about excusing you from the rest of your final projects.” The nurse said again. “You shouldn’t be reading for the rest of this week, or looking at a screen.” She added when she caught you eyeing your phone on the table. “It was exhaustion.” She clarified. “Your body gave out on you.”

“Oh.” You whispered lightly, now noticing the IV sticking out of your arm.

“When’s the last time you ate?” You were silent as the nurse questioned me. When was the last time? “The last time you had a full night of sleep?”

“I didn’t know who you wanted to call.” Your coach interjected as he saw your frustration building. “I know you’re close with the Miya twins and you said your sister was busy a lot but…” he trailed off and you sighed.

“Could I use my phone?” You asked quietly and then quickly added on as you saw the nurse go to deny your request. “Just to call someone and then I’ll put it away.” She nodded lightly and then she passed you your phone. You sighed and dialed the familiar number.

He picked up quickly. “Hey.” You muttered and didn’t wait for him to finish his question that he had started. “I know I’m not there, I’m sorry. Could you come and pick me up?” You sighed at the response on the other side of the line. “Listen I’m gonna tell ya and I need ya to not freak out. M’at the hospital.” You let him rattle worries to you before talking again. “Just you, please, don’t bring your brother.” There was a pause before agreement. You rattled off your room number and then hit the end call button. You placed your phone off to the side table again, as promised.

The nurse was rattling off instructions to you of how to take care of yourself when he showed up. A familiar face popping around the corner as his tall frame followed. His hair was messy from running his fingers through it, a nervous habit. “Hey.” He whispered as you ushered him in the room. His eyes skidded from the machines hooked up to you to the bandages across your arm and ankle before settling on your face where a bruise was forming. “Wha’ happened?” He fell into the chair next to your bed as the nurse retold what was wrong with you before informing him of all the restrictions you had over the next few weeks.

The nurse left after her speech and he looked back at you. “M’sorry ‘Tsumi.” You whispered, looking away from him. He sighed and brought your face to look back at him. You watched as his eyes took in the bruise on your face. They looked almost golden at the moment and you nearly scoffed, only the Miya twins could look good under the harsh light of hospital rooms. “I guess I jus’ forgot.” His fingers lightly grazed over the bruise, careful to not press too hard on the swollen skin, a softer touch than usually came from him.

“Ya forgot ta take care of yaself?” Atsumu’s voice was nearly a whine as he pulled you into a soft hug. “Stop doin’ that.” His warmth surrounded me and you noted that he still sort of smelled like volleyball practice, the smell of sweat lingering almost as proof of how fast he’d dropped his responsibilities to come here for you. “Why didn’t ya want ‘Samu ta come?” He asked as he slowly pulled back. He slowly guided you into a sitting position, your legs dangling off the bed. The nurse had disconnected you from all the wires and the IV before leaving a wheelchair for you.

“Don’ know.” You mumbled, your shoulders sagging as he supported most of your weight, placing you into the wheelchair. You winced as the cold hospital air surrounded your bare arms and legs, a reminder that you were still wearing just your practice shorts and t-shirt. Atsumu waited for you to finish your thoughts as he draped your bags over his shoulders and began to push you out of the room. “Miysam lectures me like a dad.” You grumbled and tried to stop the smile from appearing on your lips as he let out a loud laugh behind you. “S’not funny.” You protested, your cheeks heating up.

“Is too.” He laughed and his face popped into view as he leaned over to look down at you. “Nothin’ to be ‘mbarrassed ‘bout a/n/n.” He teased, smiling as your cheeks heated up even more.

“Stop teasin’ me.” You mumbled. “Shoulda called Suna.” You stuck your tongue out at him and he feigned hurt. His jaw dropping open in mock betrayal, the same look that he gave when Osamu and you teamed up to tease him. The same look he had whenever Osamu’s laugh sent a warm feeling shooting through your chest and made your eyes light up—the same feeling that was happening right now, except it wasn’t caused by Osamu’s laugh because his laugh wasn’t present. Just the dumb stricken face Atsumu was making.

“Suna woulda left ya to rot.” Atsumu grumbled as you both reached the front door. He transferred you onto crutches, largely supporting your weight for you. He carried one of your crutches for you and hunched over to let you sling an arm around his neck so he could continue supporting you as you both left.

“Suna woulda left you ta rot.” You grimaced at the strain of the crutch. “He likes me more than ya.” Atsumu snorted but didn’t counter as you walked finished the short walk to the bus station on the side of the road in front of the hospital. He might as well have carried you onto the bus with how much he was lifting you up the stairs. By the time you fell into the seat you were dizzy from the pain meds still buzzing in your system.

You barely registered the warmth of his body settling next to you in the seat. I felt the familiar light pull of his arm dragging you softly into his side when his voice met your ears again. “Go ‘head.” He said softly and let a small laugh out when you went to ask what he meant. “I’ll wake ya when s’time to get off.” You nodded lightly and that permission was all you needed to fall into a light sleep with your head propped on his shoulder.

Here’s the thing, about growing up with the Miya twins. You learn a lot of things. You learn that they bleed into every aspect of your life, that you’re never going to get rid of them. You learn that they feel more like home than your own house does. That their bickering brings smiles to your lips and that nothing makes you happier than making them frustrated and drawing laughs out of them by force. You learn to read their expressions, when a slight change in the glint of their eyes gives away what they’re about to do next. Microexpressions that you can only read because you watched them develop for years. You learn to observe and read the Miya twins like open books.

When you opened your eyes again you were standing outside the bus at the stop down the street from the Miya house. “Ya think ya could stand there for a second?” Atsumu was placing you gently on the ground, catering one side so that you didn’t press your weight onto your injured ankle. You nodded drowsily and leaned onto the crutch he handed to you. He’d carried you off the bus but you were watching now as he struggled to secure both your bags onto his shoulders. He’d pulled off his hoodie now and knowing him, it was because it had pulled the wrong way against your bags one too many times and had irritated him. You let a soft smile pull on your lips as you pictured him wrestling with the sweater and your bags. “What’ya smilin’ ‘bout there?”

You let out a soft giggle and shook your head. “Nothin’.”

“I think ya might still have some drugs in your system.” He teased and you felt your cheeks heat up again. The feeling of the warmth brought your attention to just how cold the rest of your body was and you let out a shiver. “Ya cold?” You nodded but it didn’t matter, he was already working his hoodie onto your body, struggling with supporting you and not letting your crutches fall in the process. “There ya go.” He smiled at me as your head popped through the top of the sweater. You felt your cheeks flare up more as you were engulfed in warmth. His jacket was huge on you and the sleeves consumed your arms, the bottom falling to the ends of your shorts.

“Thanks.” You mumbled and looked away, trying to calm your cheeks from the way he was looking at you.

Before you spoke again he interrupted you. “Alright, up we go.” You made a noise of confusion as he quickly bent down and wrapped an arm around the back of your knees. His other arm wrapped around your waist and he easily lifted you up, carrying you bridal style. Your eyes widened and you gripped your crutches to your chest tightly as you let out a small squeak at the sudden movement. “Just like a princess.” Atsumu teased as he started walking and the heat of your cheeks burned it’s way to the tips of your ears.

“‘Tsumi.” You whined. “Stop teasin’ me.” You buried your face into his neck and found yourself entirely enveloped by him as you groaned in embarrassment.

“Stop gettin’ flustered so easily then.” He laughed and the heat spread down your neck. His fingers unintentionally tightened at your side and you hissed from the contact with the wound that lay there. His laughing immediately stopped, his tone coming out serious. “Fuck, m’sorry.”

“S’okay.” You mumbled sleepily into his neck, starting to relax as you felt him turn towards the path up to his house. “I know ya just dumb.” You smiled as you heard him let out a playful scoff.

“Meanie.” His voice was playful as he carefully pulled open the front door of his house and navigated towards his room. The room was empty when he walked in and he placed you carefully onto Osamu’s bed. “Alright princess.” He laughed and detangled himself from you before dropping your bags less ceremoniously next to the bed. “Relax here, I’ll go get ya a hot drink and some food.” You smiled at him, your cheeks flushing as he brushed a piece of your hair back with a soft smile. You tried to pull off his jacket but he quickly stopped you. “Nah, keep it, looks better on y’a.” He joked and you watched him leave as you relaxed into Osamu’s bed.

Growing up with the Miya twins makes you learn how to ignore things. To tune them out. Like the way that Osamu hums along to the conversation to show he’s listening even though it grinds on your nerves because you think he’s not. Or how Atsumu runs his loud mouth any chance he gets because he’s got opinions on everything and no he doesn’t care if you don’t wanna hear them. Teaches you to tune out their constant bickering to the point where you don’t even realize it’s been happening until the first punch is thrown. Guess it even teaches you how to ignore things that have been right in front of your face the whole time. Like the warm feeling that spread in your chest every time Atsumu gave you that stupid look of his while Osamu’s laugh rang in your ear. Or the way that the you felt more comfortable in this room than any other in your life.

There’s a word; succiduous. It means ready to fall or falling. That was a great way to describe it probably.

You curled into yourself on Osamu’s bed, Atsumu’s jacket was still enveloping you in all things him, pressing warmth through your veins and your chest. Surrounding you in what you knew to be Atsumu’s scent, distinctly different than Osamu’s and overwhelming to your senses even though you were on the latter’s bed.

Because growing up with the Miya twins meant you spent your whole life falling without realizing it.

You took a deep breath in, nuzzling your face into the jacket in your half awake, probably still slightly high, state and you felt an involuntary smile pull at your lips. It smelt good, even though the smell of sweat lingered and he’d probably been wearing it for more than just today since he’d washed it… it smelled like Atsumu and it made you smile.

The sound of the Osamu coming into the room dragged your attention back to the real world where you realized what you’d just been doing. Your eyes widened in shock as realization crashed over me. You looked up at Osamu slowly with those same widened and shocked eyes. “Miysam.” You whispered, your voice shaking.

“‘Tsumu told me.” He muttered, sitting down next to you softly. “I’m not gonna lecture ya just yet don’t worry.”

“No, Miysam.” You whispered again and he looked down at you concerned. “I think I fucked up.” You weren’t looking at him anymore, instead staring out the door where Atsumu would reappear at some point with what he promised you.

You’d never realized it until you were ready to fall.

“I think I like ‘Tsumi.” You breathed out, the feeling of relief washing over you at the admission.

“Yeah,” Osamu muttered with a smirk, “I know.” He shifted his smirk into a soft smile as he looked down at you, loopy and trying to process. “Took you long enough to notice.”

a/n: This piece took me forever to write because I kept accidentally abandoning it for other ideas but I really kinda like it. I think I’m going to make a series off of it at some point maybe soon if y’all like it. Like always, I love every one of ya!!

Taglist: @

(if you ever want to be added to a taglist for something that seemes interesting on my WIP list send me an ask!)

[digestionsack]

Okay, so I’ve said this before (in Mike’s playlist analysis) and I will say it again and probably many times in the future:

The Duffers were ABSOLUTELY FUCKING CRAZY for putting “Breakdown” by Tom Petty on Will’s playlist. Like actually insane. I mean…those of you who have heard the song can back me up on this, right? The insanity? For those of you who haven’t heard the song (first of all, go listen to it, it’s an absolute banger and a classic), here are the lyrics:

“It's alright if you love me

It's alright if you don't

I'm not afraid of you running away

Honey, I get the feeling, you won't

There is no sense in pretending

Your eyes give you away

Something inside you is feeling like I do

We've said all there is to say

Baby

Breakdown, go ahead, give it to me

Breakdown, honey take me through the night

Breakdown, now I'm standing here, can you see?

Breakdown, it's alright

It's alright

It's alright

Breakdown, go ahead, give it to me

Breakdown, honey take me through the night

Breakdown, now I'm standing here, can you see?

Breakdown, it's alright

It's alright

It's alright”

Bro? BRO??????? Okay this was supposed to be a short post because I’m going to analyze Will’s playlist like I did with Mike’s but this song is so goddamn unhinged that I will probably end up analyzing it three times total (there was a short one in Mike’s playlist, one here, and one when I analyze Will’s playlist).

Time to break down the lyrics (lmao I seriously did not intend that pun):

“It's alright if you love me/It's alright if you don't/I'm not afraid of you running away/Honey, I get the feeling, you won't”—Damn, we jump right into the craziness. Right away I’m noticing “running away” in these lyrics and tying that back into Mike’s “running away” motif in his playlist. If you haven’t read my analysis on Mike’s Spotify playlist, the “running away” motif is something I noticed since there are so many songs on that playlist referencing running away (which I interpreted to mean a). Mike is getting hella Vecna’d next season and b). Mike is running away metaphorically—from feelings and societal pressures, most likely). Anyway, back to this song. Tom Petty sings about how he is not afraid of his love interest running away, which is pretty interesting in the context of S4 Byler, since Will thinks he has “ripped off the bandaid.” I wonder if S5 will provide us with a Melvan breakup and more Byler moments, which will make Will more confident about his feelings being returned. And having the feeling that the love interest will not be running away…this works not just physically (Smalltown Boy era revival when) but metaphorically as well.

“There is no sense in pretending/Your eyes give you away/Something inside you is feeling like I do/We've said all there is to say”—THE PLOT THICKENS, MY FRIENDS. THE PLOT FUCKING THICKENS. My eyes immediately go to the word “pretending,” which makes me think of all the times Mike has had his walls up this season, pretending to be someone he isn’t (the cool, straight, perfect boyfriend). And that line strings into “there’s no sense in pretending…that you don’t feel the way that you feel.” And there is yet MORE content in the next line—“your eyes give you away.” This season has placed symbolic meaning on eyes—“the windows of the soul.” Vecna’s last act of torture against his victims is destroying their eyes, so at that point we know to look for eye-centered metaphors. And, as many Bylers before me have pointed out, Mike is always covering or averting his eyes in his “happy couple” scenes with El—goofing around with the sensory deprivation goggles in the Surfer Boy Pizza scene being a prime example, as well as the airport scene where he kissed her while wearing sunglasses (umm???? You just got off a fucking plane Michael??? The fuck did you need sunglasses for???). However, with his scenes with Will and the heart-to-hearts, Mike’s eyes are completely uncovered (the only exception I can think of was during Will’s monologue when feelings were being disguised, and even then Mike spent most of that scene gazing at Will like he hung the stars. Observe):

And the third line…goddamn. If that isn’t basically confirmation, I don’t know what is. Now, I don’t actually think that Will is going to call Mike out directly on his romantic feelings (I think Will is definitely going to call out Mike for the nature of their relationship since he has done it in the past but not explicit romantic feelings), but these lines are so telling. And…the last line. I really like this line. It emphasizes that they have just that sort of relationship where they can communicate without speaking. But I also think that foreshadows that there will not be an emphasis on words with their relationship, rather on actions, emotions, and feelings. I especially like this because a). It parallels all the other canon couples who don’t need words to express love (especially Lumax, who expressed love through pictures in a scene where they literally didn’t talk), and b). The relationships that don’t quite work out as well are always centered around definitive words of love (St*ncy, Melvan).

“Baby/Breakdown, go ahead, give it to me/Breakdown, honey take me through the night/Breakdown, now I'm standing here, can you see?/Breakdown, it's alright”—100% supporting the “Mike has an emotional breakdown in S5 because he’s overwhelmed by societal pressures and his own mental health” agenda. This is furthered by the fact that “Make No Mistake” by Psyche is on Mike’s playlist, which is basically all about wanting to be free of emotional pressures and breaking down (the first lines are literally “got to drop this pressure”). So if songs like these are on Will’s and Mike’s playlists…Mike breaks down in front of Will? Maybe, given the context in which it’s used in “Breakdown,” about his romantic feelings? “Take me through the night” is really interesting to me, because I’ve seen a slight “night” motif in Mike’s playlist (ex: “Running in the Night”)—not as big a motif as the “running away” motif, but still. Could “night” be a metaphor for the Upside Down? Societal stigmas and pressures? Either way, it works here. Sort of like a “let’s do this together” thing—cute! “It’s alright” is saying to me that Will is going to end up understanding where Mike is coming from and being supportive (but of course he would be), and it’s reminding me of the song right after “Breakdown” on Will’s playlist: “Just What I Needed” by The Cars. In it, you see the lyrics “it doesn’t matter where you’ve been/as long as it was deep, yeah.” So hopefully, this means that Mike will explain to Will why he’s been acting so out of wack in S3-4 when in S2 he was basically glued to Will’s side and apologize and Will is going to understand and forgive him.

No more lyrics (it’s a song that’s decently sparse with lyrics), but I just want to point out something…this is the second to last song on Will’s playlist. I would say that has pretty big S5 implications. And the song after this…the last song…is “Just What I Needed” by The Cars. And the last song on El’s playlist…is “Jolene” by Dolly Parton (several Bylers have pointed this out already, so thank you to them!). If you haven’t heard those songs, go look at the lyrics and read them side-by-side. Make of that what you will.

Whew…that was a lot longer then I intended it to be—but I had a blast writing it. This might be one of my favorite songs on Will’s playlist given the lyrical implications for season 5 (that, and I just really love Tom Petty’s music)—and I haven’t even done a full analysis yet. Can’t wait to see what other crumbs are scattered around these playlists…

Until next time, folks!

[whatstruthgottodowithit]

Heyyy, idk of ur requests are open but if they are can u please write a dean Winchester x ex girlfriend smut who is a hunter and who dean is still not over. Sam and Dean rescue her from a vampire nest and dean is angry and worried after her and she's all like "stop acting like you care" and he says something like I'll show u how much I care" + angst + kinda enemies x lovers + dark dean? + marking ; ( set in early seasons llke;1,2,3)

How Much I Care

Fandom: Supernatural

Pairing:  Dean Winchester x Female Reader

Characters: Dean Winchester, Reader, Sam Winchester

Word Count: 2538 // Rating: Explicit

Summary: She doesn't think Dean cares. So he's going to show her just how wrong she is.

Tags/ Warnings: Request, Requested Fic, Kissing, Past Relationship, Breakups, Sex, Vaginal Sex, Smut, Fluff, Arguing, Makeup Sex, Heat of the Moment, Vampires, Fighting, Violence, Mentions of Dead Bodies,

Notes: requests are open but slow i gotta be writing TGHLB x

Dean Tags: @caitlin1996

Dean couldn’t focus. His mind was a blur as it had been for the past three days. He had been trying to pretend that this wasn’t bothering him, like having Y/N so close beside him didn’t make him want to abandon the hunt altogether so they could head back to the impala in a tangle of lips, tongue and teeth. But it was hard. He hadn’t seen her in months and the last time they had seen each other had been a complete blowout with her telling him they were done. Over.

He couldn’t blame her. He could never blame anyone who wanted to leave him. The only person he’d ever managed to keep around was Sam and it wasn’t as if their relationship was a bed of roses either. Still, he missed her. That’s why he’d been insistent on taking the case. Sam had offered two options, a sure-fire salt and burn or what could possibly be a vamp’s nest. They had no way of knowing if the vamp case would lead to anything but Dean had picked it anyway. Anywhere there were vamps Y/N was surely soon to follow.

‘And the other guys were found like this too?'  Dean said, looking at the pallid corpse on the table in front of him.  'Yep,' the sheriff said, 'not a drop of blood in them. COD exsanguination.'  'And the girls are nowhere to be found?' Sam said, flicking through the case file in his hand. 

'Apparently not,' the Sheriff shrugged, 'no one has seen or heard a thing since they went missing. Hell, one of the guys was even found ten minutes after it happened and the girl isn’t on any CCTV around the scene. I expect that's why there's such a buzz on your end. I mean three agents on one case-'

'I'm sorry three agents?' Sam asked quizzically. 

'Yeah, you two and that other one, the woman. She was here not fifteen minutes ago,' he said with a shrug causing a flutter to automatically brew in Dean's stomach, 'why isn't she with you?'

'Oh, she must have come from our other office,' Dean said with a smile. The sheriff looked unsure for a moment and then nodded. Sam however threw him a momentary curious glance. They wrapped up quickly after that as the sheriff did not have much more information than what they had already managed to dig up themselves. They excused themselves and once they were out of earshot Sam piped up. 

'Other office?' he asked, looking at Dean confused. 

'Yeah,' Dean shrugged. 

'Well, that's either another hunter or the feds. And you don't like working with either so how come you're so chill about this?' Sam asked. 

'It's a big case, Sammy,' Dean said as he unlocked the door to the impala, 'maybe they can help.' 

'When do you ever let anybody help?' a sweet soft voice said from behind him. He whipped around to find Y/N standing there on the pavement having appeared from the doorway of a run-down building beside the station. Dean swallowed thickly. She was eyeing him closely before her gaze fell on Sam who was watching the pair of them awkwardly. 

'Hey Y/N,' Sam said as casually as he could muster, making her smile. 

'Heya Sammy,' she said, coming towards them. The taller man moved around to the pavement and embraced her, his height swamping her as he brought her into his chest before allowing her to pull back. Dean's gaze never left her. 

'Hi,' he said after a moment. She smiled weakly at him and nodded though she didn’t speak, not to him at least, as she looked up at Sam and started asking about the case. Sam broke into their evidence as she nodded along, matching his thoughts and fears about a vamp nest. Dean however no longer had any interest in the case. He was drinking her in. Every moment, every movement as if it was going to be ripped away from him any second like it had been before. He had been so intent on staring at her that he had barely even registered that she asked him a question until he noticed her looking at him expectantly. 

'Huh?' he said as his eyes focused back on her face, now looking at him with annoyance. 

'I said how about we grab something to eat? I mean if you want to work together...we don't have to but-'

'No!' Dean said a little too quickly making Sam eye him suspiciously, 'nah it's fine. I saw a diner a way up the road. We can talk there.' 

'Okay,' she said, 'see ya there.' 

'Yeah, see you there,' Sam said walking to his side of the car so he could climb inside. Dean followed his brother's actions and climbed in the driver's side though he was watching her as she walked away, striding up the street towards an old beat-up Cadillac parked a few cars down from where they were.  As he started it up Dean felt a burning hot gaze on his face and turned his head to find Sam watching him expectantly.

‘What?’ Dean asked casually.

‘You had no idea she was going to be here?’ Sam asked, raising an eyebrow.

‘How could I?’ Dean scoffed as they took off.

‘I don’t know man,’ Sam said sceptically, ‘I mean it’s quite a big coincidence-‘

‘And that’s just what it is. A coincidence,’ Dean said sternly, signalling the end of the conversation. Sam rolled his eyes but fell quiet and they took off down the road. Dean however couldn’t help but notice the excitement inside him at the fact she was waiting just down the street.

After that, they worked on the case together. It hadn’t been easy. She seemed to be pretending like they were just colleagues and not like they’d spent every day together for years as friends before something more. It was odd. And Dean longed for things to be like they were before but he’d settle for her just being around over nothing. She was tucked in beside him, hiding from the pack of vamps in the barn in front of them. Several girls were dangling in the air, tied up and all in various states of being drained. She peered around the wall, turning back to him with a grave expression before she spoke.

 ‘There are six vamps,’ she said.

‘Great, three a piece,’ Dean said with a smile.

‘Don’t you think we should wait for Sam?’ she asked with concern.

‘Sammy can attack from the other side,’ he said, ‘we’ve got this you know we do.’

‘Okay fine,’ she said, raising her machete upwards so it shone in the low night light, ‘let’s do it.’

The room exploded into a blur of action. They flew around the corner, heading for vamp after vamp leaving them no time to recover from the initial shock to fight back. At some point in the frenzy, Sam appeared and soon enough they had six vamp heads laid at their feet and five girls screaming against their gags. They didn't even give themselves a moment to celebrate before they went straight into action again, un-tethering them as quickly as they were able.

‘It’s okay,’ she said, pulling the gag off the first girl she went to. She was tall and skinny, appearing to not have eaten in days. Y/N recognised her as the first girl to go missing. Y/N's heart hurt at the thought of what she had been put through, the first victim, the first tester. 

‘Are they dead?’ the girl said with a sniffle Y/N undid the bindings at her wrist and ankles and held her upright.

‘Yeah, we’ve got you. They can't hurt you anymore,’ she said sympathetically.

‘No they can't,’ she agreed, ‘but I can hurt you for killing them.’

 Before Y/N even had a moment to register what had happened the girl had changed, knocking her down to the floor with a wicked smile on her face as she pounced on her, her new razor-sharp fangs bared towards her neck. Y/N shrieked, pushing her as far back as she could and moving her head out of the way as she swiped at her. As soon as he heard her distress Dean’s mind clicked into action. He left the girl he had been saving and grabbed his machete, taking the final girl's head off with one clean swipe until she dropped on top of Y/N with a thud. He rushed forward, pushing the vamp off of her and pulling her out from under the dead weight. When she was upright, he watched her, assessing any damage he could find, but she shook him off pulling her leather-clad arm out of his grasp and looking away before she mumbled, ‘let’s just get the rest of them home.’

Dean nodded, trying to ignore that sinking feeling inside him as she pulled away, and followed her towards the girls who were clinging to Sam in abhorrent horror. Once they had the girls shipped off to the police station they headed back to the motel. Dean couldn’t stop checking his rearview to make sure she was okay. She didn’t look too worse for wear but she had remained quiet since the incident leading him to believe all was not as it seemed. Once they got back to the motel she climbed out of the car and Dean followed suit, though he threw Sam the keys as he headed to her room behind her. She didn't seem to notice he was heading to her room too until he blocked the door from shutting with his boot-clad foot. Y/N turned around with a scowl on her face as he stepped inside the dingy room and shut the door resting against it with his arms folded.

‘What are you doing?’ she asked incredulously as he watched her.

‘Making sure you’re alright,’ he said.

‘I’m fine Dean,’ she said as she pulled her jacket off and threw it on the floor before moving to sit on the bed so she could unlace her boots.

‘Doesn’t seem like it,’ he said.

‘What are you now the king of emotions?’ she said, kicking her shoes off.

‘No but I can tell when somethings buggin’ you,’ he reasoned, ‘and that vamp-'

‘I could handle it by myself,’ she snapped.

‘Didn’t look like it. In fact, it looked like you were on your way to becoming Vamp chow,' Dean said with a cocky smile though nerves bubbled inside him at the thought of her being hurt. 

‘Well maybe if you’d waited for Sam like I said,’ she said standing up so they were face to face.

‘You didn’t need any help at first. She took us by surprise. We weren't to know,’ he said, ‘but acting like it hasn’t upset you isn't going to help.’

‘Because you’ve never pushed your feelings away huh?’ she challenged looking into his big green eyes. 

'This isn't about me,' Dean scoffed.

'No, it's about you needing me to admit I needed your help. I don't know why though. You can stop pretending that you care,' she said, rolling her eyes.

'You don't think I care?' he baulked, 'I'll show you how much I care.'

And with that he grabbed her and pulled her to him, his lips crashing to hers. She stayed still for a moment before she melted into him, her arms wrapping around his neck as he moved her towards the bed. His calloused hands were everywhere he could touch, caressing the soft skin he had longed to feel for months, He wanted to take it all in, to remember every inch of her but he was scared it would be ripped away from him if the pair of them took a moment to reflect on what they were doing. Instead, he let his pants do the thinking and moved his lips to her neck, smiling against her as she moaned under his touch. It was a frenzy of clothes working each item off one another until they were just skin on skin, their hands exploring every inch of the other. He put his hand between her legs making her shiver against him as he teased through her folds before circling her sensitive bud.

 'Dean,' she sighed happily pulling him back towards her so she could kiss him. 

'That feel good baby?' he asked sucking on her neck hard enough that she would definitely have a bruise. 

'Amazing,' she said, 'but Dean?' 

'Hmm?' he said his mouth never leaving her chest.

'Fuck me?' he pulled back then. A devilish smile on his face as he moved to hover over her, his erection hot and leaking against her thigh. She watched him with excitement as he touched himself, ensuring he was at full attention before he gently eased inside her with a groan. He was in heaven. He couldn't believe how much he missed her. Even inside her, he missed her. The lonely months of longing and using his own hand somehow felt worth it now they were reconnected as one. As he chased his high he became lost in the moment until he was slamming into her, his kisses rough and frantic leaving marks in their wake. She didn't seem to mind though. In fact, she seemed to be meeting him with every thrust, her desperation as needy as his. He moved to tease her, his hand brushing against her in synchronisation with each thrust. 

'Y/N I can't hold out much longer,' he said making her open her eyes. She leaned up to kiss him, taking him by surprise when he found it was gentler and slower than he had anticipated, their anger from before replaced by a neediness for the other. He was taken aback for a moment before he met her energy, rolling her onto her side. It created a new, deeper angle but Dean wasn't focused on that. He was lost in kissing her, the way her fingers knotted in his hair as he resumed teasing her clit languidly.

It had gone from an Almighty crescendo to a gentle wave and he felt himself spilling into her as she started to climax around him, her walls fluttering around his cock and taking him for everything he had. There was no dramatic collapse in exhaustion, instead they lay there watching each other. Her fingers traced down his jaw line, teasing his lips as he kissed them  and then her. As he pulled out and moved to clean up she stopped him, her hand on his chest making him pause. 

'Y/N,' he said a little confused.

'Don't,' she whispered opening her eyes to look at him, 'let's just have this?' 

'Baby-' he said but she shook her head and tucked herself into him, his face buried in her neck as he wrapped his arms around her. It had been a whirlwind of a day. And though he wasn't sure how they had gotten to this point or what would happen after he didn't care. He missed her, so, if she wanted nothing more for him to hold her that was what he was going to do. 

[pineapplemcclean]

i barely use tumblr so im not sure how to use it but i hope this reaches the right audience

this is a post on why I think Mileven is unhealthy/toxic that probably no one is going to see 💀

Anyways I apologize in advance if this has any spelling or grammatical mistakes I'm not going to read all of this when I finish it I'll just post it right away

First off Mike doesn’t know/love El as a person. During his monologue he never mentioned a single personality trait. Nothing about El as a person. And not a single favorite memory- like for example his monologue to Will in s2 where he talks about how they met on the swings. In his monologue he says something along the lines of “I’ve loved you ever since I saw you” that, however, is a lie- he wanted to send her back wherever she came from until he found out she knew something about Will. And when he says “I love you” the vines tighten around her neck. I’m not sure exactly why yet but I have a theory I will delve into later on. “You can fly, you can move mountains” here Mike is appreciating El the Superhero again. Not El as a person. Mike talking about El's powers isn’t romantic. its here that I bring up Millie’s interview about her favorite scene. https://youtu.be/wAMjtRvRQIY

“Mike isn’t loving El like she wants him to” and “Does he truly love her or is she still the superwoman in his mind?” Which implies that Mike has only ever shown love towards El the Superhero. We don't really know if he loves El as a person BUT he called her a superhero during his monologue so….. Mike says he’s never been scared of El before- another lie. For example, when El threw Lucas in s1 using her powers, he was scared of her. Which is completely reasonable, but lying about it in his “love confession”… When he says he’s scared El isn't going to need him anymore he doesn't stutter and his voice is steady (unlike with the rest of his monologue) which means he isn't lying- because Mike and El truly are codependent on each other. And what happens after the monologue? We see El ignoring the topic of their relationship which most Mileven shippers think is simple- they think that now El knows that Mike truly loves her blah blah blah and that she isn't talking to him bc of Max. However, El talked to Mike about Brenner which is a heavy topic for her but she couldn't address the topic of their relationship? which should be obvious? They're going to have a big talk in s5 and its going to be very emotional- possibly a breakup and a talk about their feelings (about time)

Someone also pointed out that this scene contrasts with Max’s whole Vecna moment, because the memories that help Max escape are the memories that visually appear to us, during this scene, the only time we see a memory put to the words that Mike says is the “you were wearing a yellow t shirt in the woods” kind of thing, it gives her a push before the vines tighten more, I believe that this is because everything else that Mike is saying, she can’t put a memory to it, he’s basically just rambling ? nonsense…? her facial expressions, it’s almost as if she’s searching for any like PROOF or memories to go with his words.

To finish the first reason, we genuinely have never seen Mike appreciate El as a person, not just in his monologue but at any point.

Second I want to talk about the “Mike can't express his love bc of his parents” Yet Nancy can? Let me just talk about Stancy/Jancy a bit here and how they're paralleled to Byler Stancy was a toxic relationship because both Steve and Nancy pretended to be people they aren't. After the break up we see both of them get character development. Nancy also started acting like a jerk which is a parallel to how Mike starts treating his friends like shit in s3 while dating El. Mike pretends to be more mature around El. He stops playing d&d and all...and when the Byers move to Cali we see him joining a d&d club. Also, at the end of s3 he apologizes to El for being excited about presents. In s4 we see El lying to Mike about having friends and going to parties, so she can be seen as cool to him. They are both pretending to be someone they aren't. Nancy couldn't say "I love you" to Steve just like Mike couldn't say it to El. And back to the main point “Mike cant express his love bc of his parents” but when its Nancy its bc she loves Jonathan? And actually, Mike having parents who are in a loveless relationship is actually more proof that Mileven is loveless because loveless relationships are something Mike is familiar with so its easier for him to yk be in a loveless relationship. Same goes for El who is used to people appreciating her for her powers only because of the lab.

Something that's kind of similar to what I'm talking about, an example- if you've seen the IT movies then you know Bev and Eddie basically married their parents because bc of their trauma with them (not that Mike's parents' relationship is like traumatic but it obviously affected him)

Nancy has the same parents but why can she say ily to Jonathan without someone telling her to and why can she talk about his personality but Mike can't??

its because Mike doesn't love El and the "from, Mike" is proof enough. because he obviously wrote "from" subconsciously meaning he never thought of writing "I love you" to someone who apparently means the world to him and he loves very much. I mean, it might've not been subconsciously but El's point was good "you cant even write it" because you can easily fake something while writing it I think that's all for reason number 2 (on and also Jancy and Byler have parallels- talking while sitting on a car; Nancy/Mike and Jonathan/Will talking and Nancy/Mike glances at Jonathan's/Will's lips reason number 3 I don't think El is ready for a relationship a controversial take but let me explain "you say El isn't ready for a relationship but then go ahead and ship her with Max" I ship her w/ Max bc she'd treat El better but I don't think it should happen (or that it will) because El has unresolved trauma from the lab and Mike triggered her "what did you do?!". My point is not that you shouldn't ship Mileven, its that I think they shouldn't be canon. "Will is also traumatized" Will's trauma is different and he had more people help him cope with it. El was introduced to so many new things like friendship, love, school, etc. and reason number 5 is that Mike makes El feel like a monster, even if its not on purpose. Even if they love each other they don't make each other feel loved. I think that's all but I'd like to add a bit of a s4 Mileven analysis (with some Byler in it)

In the beginning we see Mike reading El's letter and we're shown how El is doing- we notice that she's lying to him about everyone being nice and about her grades. She ends her letter with "Love, El" when Mike finishes reading her letter he crumbles it, despite being a sentimental type of person- he has (had?) Will's art hung up in the basement.

When he arrives in Cali he looks ugly (sorry i just needed to express my opinion on his outfit) he looks very excited to meet El but when he gets to Will, his childhood best friend, he becomes very... weird. he bumps him on the shoulder instead of hugging him back. this is why the line "Will is acting weird" El wrote to Mike is so important- bc even though Will is the one who loves Mike, he's been acting normal. and everyone is saying its because Mike doesn't want to be friends with Will anymore- yet later on Mike apologized for his behavior and him and Will have been glued to the hip since. so its def not bc he doesn't want to be friends with Will...suspicious Anyways on to the rink-o-mania scene we see Mike and El being happy yk just your usual couple hanging out. However, as it zooms into Will's face we realize the scene is from his pov. And Will is actually an unreliable narrator, meaning this scene might not be as happy as it looks. (someone said that Will was confirmed to be an unreliable narrator but since no one provided a video or article I'm going to prove it in a bit) When Angela enters we see Mike and El skating from her pov but not looking as happy- in fact they look...bored? meaning that they aren't actually happy in the skate ring scene. And about Will being an unreliable narrator: in his pov Mike is ignoring him entirely. However later on Mike confronts Will about how he's been acting meaning Mike was actually paying attention to Will. Anyways you know how the rest of the skate ring scene unfolds. As I already mentioned, Mike makes El unintentionally feel like a monster (and in my opinion he was scared of her here) and he's paralleled to Brenner (which will become a bit important later on). An important thing to note here is that in season 1 El broke Troy's arm. Troy is Will and Mike's bully. He didn't show the same reaction then as he did in the skate ring scene. He was happy/pleased but in the skate ring scene he's angry/scared. ONWARDS the dinner where Mike makes El feel like shit yet again. "She didn't look fine" Jesus Michael that's your gf, why are you being annoying The next day Mike goes to apologize to El who then points out the "From, Mike" and how he was scared of her. The whole argument is about Mike only showing love towards El the Superhero (as MBB said in the interview I mentioned earlier on) and it's important to know he calls her superhero during their fight. Which just makes El feel worse. another important detail is that he blames this whole thing on the "mouth breathers" when Mike is the problem - he's pushing the blame away from himself again (same as in s3 when he asks what he did wrong when he literally lied to El. Meanwhile in both of his apologies with Will he fully takes the blame, saying how he was acting like a jerk. And Mike always knows what to say to Will, but with El he needs someone to motivate him or tell him what to say - Will's speech to him in s4 and Lucas dragging Mike to the mall in s3, meanwhile Mike dragged Lucas over to Will's). El feels like Mike doesn't love her anymore because she lost her powers/she isn't a superhero anymore. wattpad time skip to El's note:

"Dear, Mike I have gone to become a superhero again. From, El" 1. "I have gone to become a superhero again" is in a way saying she's gone to become someone he can love again. 2. "From, El" this screams breakup to me, idk about you guys. And Mike said this fight seemed more adult compared to the rest of the fights they've had (the s3 breakup included, which could possibly mean that this is a serious breakup). He also said it's "a fight you can't come back from". And imo Mike knew El was breaking up with him by the way he was staring at the note. And the word "adult" that Mike used, I think it's important because Caleb says they have a teenage relationship dynamic. teenage relationship. adult fight.

another reason why I think they had an implied breakup is this parallel: Vickie: "I am rambling about my dumb boyfriend when there are people out there suffering" talking about her breakup to Robin. Mike: "No, i..it's stupid, given everything that's going on" Talking about his fight with El to Will.

fast forward to the van scene

If you take Mike from a surface level standpoint some of his scenes flat out don't make sense. For instance, in episode 5, Mike and Will have their heart to heart. Mike says he regrets not being able to say what he wanted to El and that maybe things would be different if he had. Then Will talks about how scary it is to open up to people you care about because they might not like the truth. And Mike agrees. So let's say Mike is surface level. And he's only talking about El in this context. The truth Mike would be talking about in this scenario would be telling her that he loved her back in ep 3- But that doesn't make sense?? El was practically begging Mike to prove that he loved her back in the first few episodes. So in what universe would El not like that truth? Why would Mike think that El wouldn't want to hear that he loved her? And if Mike truly meant everything he said during the finale, why would he not tell her what she wanted to hear back in episode 3? If you love someone and you don't want to lose them, you'd want to get your feelings across and make her feel validated. Even if he can't say it, he could prove it through his actions. Hug her. Kiss her. Hold her hand. Anything to showcase that he loves her. But he doesn't do that. And then when the moment in the finale comes around, he starts contradicting himself. His actions just stop making any semblance of sense when you try looking at it that way. In fact, the script of the van scene released recently. Noah said they filmed it all day. But when he saw the scene play out, he noticed that it was edited to be more subtle in certain areas. Now, there are two important lines that are removed from the final product. One is Will talking about "El" and saying how losing Mike hurts too much. I'm supposing they were just trying to make Will's feelings more subtle here. But the second line removed is from Mike who says that the last time he looked in El's eyes, he saw that she didn't need him/love him anymore. Now, if they were trying to keep Will's feelings a secret, making it more subtle in that area might make sense. But them choosing to remove Mike's line and make him more subtle as a character doesn't make sense unless there's a deeper truth about Mike that they're intentionally keeping hidden from a lot of the audience. That Mike knows El isn't interested in him anymore and that maybe, S5 will have El break up with him again.

then the reunion

Mike and El...don't kiss. Even though they both almost died. Now, we all know El got character development concerning her lab trauma- she disobeys Brenner because she is more than just a girl with powers, she is a human being but he treated her like a monster. this is why I think the fact that Mike is paralleled to Brenner is so important- because he also appreciated her only for her powers. I think they didn't kiss then and there because El realized she won't be happy in the relationship if Mike only appreciates her for her powers.

And the reason why the vines tighten around El's neck when Mike says "I love you" is because she knows he can only say it because she got her powers back. that's my theory at least. Oh Jesus this is- a lot. I really hope I didn't miss anything. Bonus fact: Mike and El being referred to as Romeo and Juliet isn't romantic- Romeo and Juliet are star-crossed lovers doomed to fail. and Romeo actually loved Juliet's sister Rosaline.

also im going to tag this as byler so there's a smaller chance of milevens coming after me

[stylinsoncity]

god the paris chapter haidnsjs

i love how louis was always so reluctant to talk about his feelings (they’re basically two idiots obsessed with each other the whole fic and pretending not to, i just love them sm), but as soon as he found out that H actually wrote to him all those years he exposed himself. he’s immediately like “i’m sorry i was a dickhead to you all this time, you were too but that’s beside the point. and i actually want you very much”

imo, that’s why it hurts so much when they break up. like, obviously, louis is gonna be hurt, but the fact that he was so honest with harry and then he got that in return just makes it so much painful. that break up scene is the best one i’ve ever read, i was completely devastated. “you want us done? we’re done”. that line really stuck to me

“you were too but that’s besides the point” lmao that is very much the essence of Louis’ speech. they’ve been dickheads to each other but none of it matters. it’s all just optics, meant to disguise their true feelings.

i think I have karma to answer to for that break up scene lol… I know it’s brutal. like Harry is justified in his worries/fears but Louis also has a lot to worry or be afraid about. The stakes are just as high for them both but Louis is the only one who’s able to look past them.

Another thing that comes to mind in this moment is that Harry really is the bolder one when they’re younger. He’s the first to say I love you. He very firmly tells Louis that he’s not leaving when Louis’ father is forcing him to. But back then, that version of Harry was also mostly, if not completely, confident that he would just figure out how to break his curse. And in the future, after several dead ends and his devastating vision, he’s just not confident or hopeful at all. So it’s just a sad scene all around. Especially when you have Louis who’s like full of hope and optimism and excitement about their future together, however brief it may be.

One of the things I’ve been exploring offline in like Louis’ expanded POV is his mindset before and during their breakup. And like Louis obviously knows something is off with Harry. Like he may not know about the vision yet, but he knows there’s something Harry isn’t telling him that he’s struggling with.

I’m actually just going to share these clips below:

“He doesn’t really want to ruin their time in Edinburgh, but eventually, he’ll have to question Harry about whatever it is he’s hiding. Because Zayn was right that Harry occasionally smells of fear.

Fear smells like the sudden profusion of sweat and the increase of oxygen in one’s bloodstream. Harry’s heartbeat will quicken or the breath will momentarily pause and then rush through his lungs. His gaze might even drift away. To anyone else, those occurrences would be imperceptible, but not for Louis’ kind. Louis catches them all, particularly in the moments when they discuss their future.

He wants it to be nothing, but he knows deep down that it’s not. So, in that case, whatever it is, they can only hope to manage it together, the way they’ve managed almost everything else.”

And also, from the actual breakup:

“Maybe Louis is the fool. Because here he’s been, preparing himself to suffer with Harry and to make the most of that suffering when Harry never intended to do the same. Here he’s been, believing the suffering would be worth it for all the joy they could also have. He never saw this coming, so surely the foolish one is him. “What’s all this been the last few days if you don’t want this?” Louis asks.”

[starry-mist]

S4e16 thoughts:

Help. I am in a glass case of emotion. It's just SO GOOD.

Charlie to Maya about the attack on Rebel: That must be your worst nightmare.

Because this is literally his worst nightmare.

Jesse asking Sarah how Charlie's doing is awesome, because he knows that she's going to be perceptive in this situation when it comes to him and Rex.

The unraveling of Sarah's relationship with Michael would have worked so much better if it had been spread over several episodes. Though I suppose one could take the lying in episode 14 as a symptom that things are perhaps not all that solid, but the forgiveness after that...ugh. I don't love how they handled the relationship in general, but in hindsight I will accept it as the obvious plot device that it was.

(Also, Michael totally adopted Bentley, fight me.)

In another universe, I would totally ship Charlie with his vet (I forget if they've given her a name.)

The team seems to finally be acknowledging that Charlie is not okay. Way to go for realizing this after how many months? Solid investigative skills there, team...But anyway, there's no way Charlie should have been on this case, and he should have been pulled from it after taking Maya to the scene where she beat up a suspect. Oops.

The Charlie and Michael scene. Damn. Whip them out, boys. (Watch this post get flagged as mature content.)

Rex making the rounds at the station to give each of his humans some comfort. Love that for them.

Charah finally having some actual conflict. Yessssssss. Give me more.

Let’s pretend Sarah's hair doesn’t change lengths multiple times over the span of this ep…

It's amusing to see Henry Higgins from Murdoch Mysteries as a bad guy.

I could watch Charlie walk into the lab and say “you were right” a thousand times. (It's possible I have at this point.)

"When you want somebody who isn’t available" YOU PUT ON YOUR BIG BOY PANTS AND FUCKING DEAL, CHARLIE. But he gets points for actually finally TALKING ABOUT HIS FEELINGS.

The bullpen is such an awkwardly public place for a breakup.

The literal cliffhanger. Help, I have died. I still want to see the alternate ending they apparently filmed though.

Rest in peace, Paul Pope. If you haven't ever done so, I highly recommend searching articles about him/interviews with him. He did so much for the Newfoundland film scene. This show would not exist without his efforts.

[pink-strawberry-kissess]

I saw your post and on the topic of Capcom retconning, I remember reading somewhere of them saying the remakes exist own timeline like an alternate universe sort of so everything that happened in the OG is canon still.

RE as always been stories of “what ifs” even in the OG, the routes like Jill/Chris in RE1 and Claire A/Leon B have no perfect flow, and Capcom would say technically the combination of all the routes are canon.

Remake Leon wasn’t late to work, but OG Leon was definitely still was via getting drunk over his breakup. I did initially think that retconning was what Capcom was trying to do but then Infinite Darkness came out and that Leon mentioned that he was late to work. Now I really do view them as totally separate versions/entities. So whatever Capcom does end up doing/changing in the remakes, everything that happens in OG timeline absolutely still exists.

I know some may feel the opposite, but I’ve accepted that Capcom actually could decide in their new remake timeline that something like Damnation never happened 😭 even if it would hurt my Aeon shipper heart, not saying that they would, but I’ve prepared for the worst since they gave Ada saving Leon from Krauser to Luis.

I just hope Capcom knows what they are doing and have a clear outlook for their characters this time

&I saw you mentioned how they shot RE2make and scrapped everything to reshoot again. I’ve always imagined that maybe they did try attempting the Leon B ending. I know before the Remake came out that that was the ending a lot we’re expecting to see since it was canon, which is why I think you see some that resentment or straight up hate from some fans on RE2R Ada now in conversations still. Those people that wanted to see the version of her that saved him almost at the cost of her life even when she had no idea he found out that she was lying & actually a spy (I wish people could just accept both versions of her, Remake Ada isn’t pretending to be a civilian looking for her boyfriend, she’s now an “FBI agent” that ranks higher than Leon a as cop, she wouldn’t act the same as the OG) Of course, id still love to see how Capcom would’ve reimagined the B scene but I think logically there was no way they could do it convincingly, especially with this Remake version of Leon. We saw no matter how hard Ada insisted he escape he never left, I think Remake Leon definitely wouldn’t have just left her body there especially if he wasn’t absolutely certain she was dead, so maybe they felt it was just better for them to have her fall thousands of feet and survive that way lol

yes i've seen this too. especially with two different canon endings in the same games. they're both supposed to be canon which is odd and sometimes conflicts with each other. yeah remake leon wasn't late to work, but infinite darkness leon was late to work. it does seem like everything is kinda still canon as none of them have been confirmed to be a main timeline or anything.

the only thing is that the films will not be remade. the films have and always been canon. and im still mad that they didn't make the efforts to have damnation be an aeon centric film like they initially were going to.

yeah i think the changes were good to luis but they were absolutely at the expense of ada. and that makes me kinda dislike him, but especially the people who have double standards and forgave luis when he arguably did so much worse things than ada did. i agree, even with re4r leon leaving luis' body was a bit strange but understandable i guess? but leon leaving ada in re2 made less sense.