#pretty sure her team posted this earlier... somebodys getting fired

[slaybey]

@beyonce We won 3 y’all! 

To my Hive, thank y’all so much for all of your love and loyalty! Big thank you for the BREAK MY SOUL and CUFF IT wins!!! To The Dream, Tricky, HOV, and Big Freedia. I love y’all! 

Syd, I’ve always been such a fan of yours. Thank you. 

Nova Wav, Morten Ristorp, Raphael Saadiq, and Nile Rodgers, thank you for pouring into CUFF IT. Big thanks to Sabrina Claudio, Nick Green and Patrick Paige II. PLASTIC OFF THE SOFA is my favorite song on RENAISSANCE most days. It’s hard to pick though. Haaa. 

It feels great to be honored for the vocal performance. Thank you to all the talented vocalists who killed those beautiful TikTok renditions! 

I feel very grateful and filled with joy!

[mrsmaybank]

Crushing - Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

“Reid, stop giving JJ’s intern bedroom eyes. It fuckin’ weirds me out.”

A/N: I love baby genius, season one Reid so much. I wanted to give him a soulmate. Soulmate is you: shy and also a baby genius. Okay, thanks for reading. This was honestly just for me. 

CW: Implied Smut, Mild Cursing, shitty writing 

“Who...Who is that?” Dr. Spencer Reid, debatably the wordiest boy Derek Morgan had ever met, was suddenly at a loss for words. Maybe it was your perfectly sculpted face, your shoes, the copy of The Kreutzer Sonata held to your chest, your chest, or maybe a mix of it all.  Whatever it was, at sight of you walking through the office doors, he was stripped of his ability to speak. 

“That’s JJ’s new intern.” Morgan said plainly, before noticing the completely enamored look on his friend’s face. “What, pretty boy?” Reid couldn’t even be bothered to reply. He was too busy studying every detail of your frame. 

“You think she’s cute or something kid?” Morgan playfully jabbed his shoulder, Spencer’s face instantly flushing an embarrassing shade of red. 

“What?!” He shrieked, “I-no! That’s not..No!” That’s a lie. 

“I just..I didn’t know JJ was getting an intern.” That though, was true. 

“She’s supposed to be pretty impressive. Let’s go meet her.” he started in the direction of the coffee stand, where you and JJ had begun chatting. Before Spencer could protest out of his shyness, he was being dragged along. 

“Morgan,” JJ smiled, “Spence,” she nodded in his direction, “This is Y/N Y/L/N. My godsent savior.” JJ beamed in your direction.

You smiled more sheepishly then you would’ve liked, muttering a “Hopefully.” that got a laugh from Morgan and a “Oh, please.” from JJ, but nothing from the man in the glasses. You did your best not to read into it. 

“Derek Morgan.” the muscular agent extended his hand to shake yours, an offer you timidly but happily accepted. 

The taller, lankier, younger, incredibly cute man next to him stuffed one of his hands in his pocket and shifted uncomfortably with a small wave, “I’m uh, Doctor Spencer Reid, oh! Uh, you don’t have to, uh call me Doctor. No..” He shook his head, “Just Spencer is fine.” He looked at you with wide eyes that sent butterflies berserk in your stomach and swiped his tongue in between his lips that only made them go crazier. JJ had told you all about the team. About the magnificently brilliant Dr. Spencer Reid, his 3 PhDs and eidetic memory, and all the other quirks you’d have to know in order to work with him, but had failed to mention how utterly hot he was. You felt a crush hijacking your system already. Dear god. 

“It’s nice to meet you both.” Your hands gripped your book tighter as you shifted onto your tiptoes, “I’ve heard really exceptional things.” 

The conversation was set to continue, but Morgan and JJ were summoned by Hotch to the closed doors of his office. Leaving the resident genius and you starting at each other with tight lip smiles. 

Spencer started first, “The Kreutzer Sonata is great.” He excitedly continued, “It uh, it actually used to be a pretty bold book to carry around. After the work had been forbidden in Russia by censors, there was actually a mimeographed version that was widely circulated. Then in 1890, the United States Post Office Department prohibited the mailing of newspapers containing serialized installments of it too. Theodore Roosevelt even called Tolstoy a-” 

His enthusiasm was beyond endearing. You finished for him with a soft smile, "Sexual moral pervert.”

Spencer’s lips upturned in a smile. It was rare somebody in the office could finish his sentences. And he couldn’t help but replay the crass words being said in your soft voice. He felt a crush hijacking his system already. Dear god.  

“Most people don’t recognize it in the original Russian.”  Spencer heard you say. 

“Most people probably wouldn’t recognize it in English.” he retorted.

You laughed, “Yeah, you’re right.” 

Spencer wasn’t even kidding. “I’m not joking.” He shook his head. “It’s unfortunate how many people aren’t even vaguely familiar with Tolstoy.” 

“It is.” you agreed. “You went to Caltech, correct?” 

He smiled, “Yes.” 

“I almost did too. Decided last minute on Columbia.” 

“You went to Columbia?” he asked. 

“I just graduated.” 

“How old are you?” he asked before quickly correcting himself,  “I’m sorry! That was forward! I am not...I’m not trying to undermine your studies with your age, I promise. I’m just curious.” 

“No! It’s okay!” You got out fast. “I’m 19. I graduated high school a little bit early.” 

“Me too.” He smiled. “12, actually.” 

Your eyes went wide, “12?” 

“Yes, um, in a Las Vegas public high school.” He winced, but the self-deprecation somehow came out charming, “I uh,” His eyes narrowed, “didn’t go to a lot of parties.” 

That made you wholeheartedly laugh. “Me neither! I graduated at 15, which you know is the age everybody else starts. It created a really weird dynamic because the older kids in my grade didn’t like me, but the underclassmen my age really didn’t like me.” 

Instead of the laugh you were expecting, Spencer just gave you a pensive stare. 

“Um..I can’t see why. I think you’re very likeable.” The compliment would’ve been strange exchanged by anybody other than Spencer to you.

  “Wait till you get to know me.” You said it through a smile but so softly you were afraid he might not be able to hear it, but he did. 

And that was confirmed when he flashed you the most incredible, toothy grin you’d ever seen. “I uh, I doubt there will be any change in opinion.” 

“Well, um, I’m sure- I think! You’re very likeable as well Dr. Reid.” you said. 

“That’s what you say now.” He retorted in the same coy tone you had earlier. 

You shook your head, “You’ll find I can be insufferably stubborn.” 

-----------------------------------

After two weeks, there was little Spencer could do to hide his massive crush affinity for you from the team. 

In the bullpen: 

You guys had locked eyes and were mouthing out exchanged of No’s and Yes’s from across the room. There was an ongoing half-serious dispute about whether or not Xanthippe slept with Plato. 

Morgan glided in his wheeled chair to whisper into Spencer’s ear. 

“Reid, stop giving JJ’s intern bedroom eyes. It fuckin’ weirds me out.” He said, shoving files into the cabinet below Reid’s desk. 

“I’m..I’m not.. I--what? Bedr--No!” Reid whisper-shouted back. 

On the jet: 

“Reid?” Gideon called Spencer, “Chess?” He motioned towards the board. 

“Yes, sure. Just give me a second. I’m almost done. I’m reading Infinite Jest. I don’t usually enjoy literature if it isn’t classic, even less so if it’s American. But..” Spencer smiled, “Y/N likes the author.”  He continued his fast-paced reading of the third-to-last chapter of the book. 

Morgan and Gideon exchanged glances. 

Even in front of you: 

You opened a sugar packet and began stirring. 

“De Revolutionibus Orbium Coelestium is still some of the best work on  heliocentric theory out there, I think. Copernicus knew what he was talking about!” You spun on your heels to see Reid’s face contorted in disagreement. You giggled, “Don’t give me that face! I’m right!” 

He took a sip of his coffee as to keep himself quiet. “Listen, cosmological theory is for…” 

But the pair of you were interrupted, it was Elle, standing behind you and in front of Spencer. 

“New skirt?” Elle asked as you turned, back now facing Reid.  She was pouring herself a cup of coffee too.

“Yes!” You excitedly nodded. “You like it?” 

Elle looked up and down, but not at you. The judgmental eyes were for the man behind you. She pursed her lips, “Not just me.” 

The only face redder than yours was Reid’s.

-----------------------------------

Nights spent in a bar after a case that had dragged on far too long was nothing new, but the energy tonight was especially light. Gideon had refused, but everybody else was just relaxed, even Hotch, and the team just got happier at each other's happiness. It was great, really. As Hotch and Morgan sipped on whiskey, JJ and Penelope had already downed four sugary, colorful cocktails and were in a whispered fit of giggles. Elle and Spencer settled on a tamer option of an IPA Spencer couldn’t name. 

“SPENCER!” Penelope excitedly shouted, “Y/N is literally you! You’re both adorable! You’re both geniuses! You’re both young!” She drew on her rant, “And if you have a crush on her you should just tell her!” JJ’s eyes widened in embarrassment as she tried to cover Penelope’s mouth. 

Morgan and Elle erupted in soft laughter while Hotch cracked an uncharacteristically amused smile. 

“Spence, I swear, I didn’t say that! I just...I may have mentioned how happy you get every time she’s around! And how you guys can talk for literally hours!” JJ defended, her words slurring in silly drunkenness. 

Spencer rolled his eyes. This wasn’t the first time they teased him about you, and it probably wouldn’t be the last time either. 

“I don’t have a crush on her! We just….we like the same things! It gives us a lot to talk about.” 

“Yeah?” Morgan said through a laugh, “And what is it that boy and girl wonder talk about so much?” 

“Well, uh.. a lot of things. But I find she gets the most excited when we are discussing the theories of postmodernism, in that apparent realities are actually just social constructs and veritable realities are subject to change, and uh... we like to talk about linguistics….political philosophy….history... mathematic theory...and uh, oh! Doctor Who.” 

Spencer was blushing and spoke about you like a teenage girl did their boyband crush, and the team noticed. They didn’t even need to say it out loud. Spencer gathered from the way they looked back at him. 

“I heard she lent you a book too, Reid.” Hotch said before taking a sip from his glass. 

“Yes! She did!” He smiled, “It was her copy of Pale Fire. She has an impressive collection of 19th century Russian literature. All in its original dialect! Some of it’s even annotated, which usually would annoy me but since it’s her thoughts and notes I sort of find it endearing.” 

“Dr. Reid is endeared!” Greenaway shrieked.

“Yeah,” he nodded, pushing his glasses up a little higher on his nose, “I find her incredibly endearing.” 

“Y’all that sounded like a dorky love confession.” Morgan said as the team erupted in laughter and Reid’s head fell in a smile. There was no point in denying it anymore: He really, really liked you.

--------------------------------------

Within two months, you and Spencer had finally put your shyness aside, and spent a very lovely evening at watching an orchestra at the Smithsonian Music,  and sharing noodles at your favorite Thai restaurant. And then you guys spent some time on your couch. And then in your bed. And then in the shower. And then in the kitchen. You were both very sexually frustrated. 

For the following two months, as soon as you both stepped out of the office, it was very, very hard to keep your hands off each other. Could either of you help it though? Teenage geniuses don’t experience parties, or football games, or clumsy sex. The time was perfect to make up for it. 

And you guys did. The sex part at least. “Football involves a lot of dirt. And germs. And sweat.”

“Oh my god!” you shrieked. His hands were in a place they found themselves more and more often: Your pants. 

“Does it feel good?” he asked, continuing his pattern of small circles on that particular bundle of nerves. 

“It feels great.” You nodded. 

“I uh, I’ve been researching the female anatomy.” 

You closed your eyes and nodded your head, but trying to focus on your boyfriends newfound intellect. “It’s fascinating, isn’t it?” 

He watched your undoing with boyish adoration and curiosity before swallowing, “Very.” 

“Oh fuck!” Your legs began to shake, “Spencee...I’m gonn--” 

--------------------------------------------

You and Spencer just understood each other. 

[hermitcraftheadcanons]

Hermitopia AU Masterpost 1 [COMPLETE]

This is a gathering place for the events of the Hermitopia AU, as well as art and writing resulting from it (art and writing listed at the bottom). Please read the AU introduction and rules here before submitting! Feel free to join the discussions on the HCHC discord server!

(Disclaimer/PSA: All points are asks contributed by the community, the mods take no credit for the ideas within them)

If you would like specific credit in the masterpost, please sign within the text of the ask! (A dash and a signature at the end should do.) Asks not signed will be treated as anonymous.

Summary posts:

Not all elements of plot and character will be summarized, but here are a few basic things you may want to be familiar with before submitting an ask! (Unless you are purposely aiming to create an [ALTERNATE] idea for a Hermit)

1 - Starting positions and each Hermit's powers (based on the submissions from Day 1)

Summary post 2 - Interpersonal connections (based on Day 1 and 2 submissions)

Make sure to check out the second masterpost here for more up to date information, including newer art and writing!

Asks:

- (copied ask) [summarized mod comment]

- Hermitopia | Scar was experimented on by Cub. He gained dangerous powers and wings that resemble a dragon’s, but he keeps both hidden. Unless someone makes him angry. He has no idea who gave him his powers. Eventually he and Cub decided that they wanted to control things beyond their corporation, so Scar ran for mayor. (there are things to fill in but im lazy) [Scar assumes he got the powers in an accident during research. He enjoys having them but has no idea that they were intentional.]

- Hermitopia AU team ZIT is a superpowered crime-fighting trio!

- owing to a very particular set of guidelines he put in place, Joe can now copy powers if he sees them in use and can reverse-engineer how those powers are used. needless to say, this is massively overpowered in the right hands.but it got worse. at some point, there was an... incident... on ConCorp grounds, something to do with a mass amount of entities causing time dilation -- and Joe was caught in the thick of it, unable to be rescued for a while.the problem is, he got out by piecing together how the time dilation worked.needless to say, Joe... has a ridiculous powerset. so he chooses largely not to use his powers anymore unless it's absolutely dire or petty enough to shrug off as a random occurrence. nobody needs to know that one of the most powerful Unaffiliated in the city is standing right in front of them... especially not ConCorp.

- doc was a former high ranking employee of concorp before he volunteered for an experiment and it went horribly wrong. since then, the company has tried to erase any evidence of his existence. doc is now seeking revenge for all that the company did to him and is determined to tear it apart

- HI ok follow up asks will be sent later when my thoughts are coherent but concept: cleo has like super messed up healing powers where she can make healing go Too Far. also i pin her as unbound, considering, like, everything - shovel-shuffle

- So, his power was meant to be super-regen, right? except things don't always quite go to plan. Someone volunteered for the powers surgeries and is arguably dead. Etho is a name shared by the many many clones that developed themselves out of the leftovers. They're not quite individuals, not quite a hivemind. Any one of them has no fear of death because the others will continue, but they all act independently around their overarching goal. (which I won't snitch about) - DragonKay

- Bdubs was a hero. Key word? Was. He climbed the ranks through the government, he was a loyal and dutiful member of society, and he used his plant manipulation powers to subdue evil-doers without hurting them. But he’s always been a friendly guy, and he couldn’t help himself—talking to the Unrestrained, especially those in custody, was interesting! ...but it’s a slippery slope to walk, being friendly with the enemy and not sympathizing to their cause. Nobody knows where he is now, but there are rumours of a vigilante with similar abilities, and his three compatriots, two of whom he helped escape from ConCorp... They call themselves the nHo. - slimetek [Bdubs deserted Concorp while helping Doc escape after his experiment went wrong]

- Concorp managed to make a device that allows animals to speak or translate their thoughts into writing. This means that the good old mayor Scar has a certain cat giving some advice on how to run the city.

- Iskall is an assasin/mercenary against their own volition. An accident they'd rather forget almost killed them, and in exchange for their freedom and free will they got to live as a cyborg. Though its hard to forget with the implant that covers their eye and the limb of cool metal hanging at their side - @ghastly-ghostie [Iskall works for Concorp off-books, bound by the debt owed to them for the life saving experimental modifications]

- so I think grians original powers could be like cloning, but something goes wrong and the clones are different people. as a result of the duplication process, some funky magic rocks are made. the clones decide to take most of the funky rocks and run off, leaving grian with one rock that gives him some new abilities and the clones' rocks give him others. also uhh mechanical wings bc yes. so grians plot is him trying to find them while also causing problems on purpose. infinity stones. update to my grian ask from earlier, I had better ideas: the rocks are old like magic things that grian finds before the cloning and ends up collecting, but his clones snatch them - simplyskipper [some of the alternate Grians are aligned with different factions in Hermitopia, while the locations of others are farther or unknown]

- Hermitopia- Impulse has solid-light powers. He has golden crystals implanted in his hands, which he can reflect light through to solidify it into all sorts of shapes. This can be used to make barriers, projectiles, and much more, though more detailed constructs take more time.- @mleemwyvern

- Hermitopia AU Poultry man is a well-known chaotic neutral leaning towards good, as a one of the unrestrained.

- I think Team ZIT should be a little be wild card-y, that's how they act after all! [they are employed by the government for standard crimefighting, but they don't always take Scar's word at its intended meaning and often play a bit on the chaotic side when given instructions]

- [Hermitopia AU] False is an antihero/vigilante type who's specialty is not defined by powers or the such, but just... the absolute skill of being able to dual wield two (more sci-fi era) short swords. Maybe someone upgrades them to be "enchanted" (electrical, fire, etc. something that tech could do well probably). She's willing to be paid-for-hire, but if you go past her moral line she's also willin' to backstab you. -- @cheshire-vex [she's a free agent who sort of drifts between Concorp, the government, and whoever else will pay her on a job-by-job basis]

- Hermitopia impulse has more connections then one may think. He has ties to people pretty much everywhere, for reasons unknown. There is a 100% someone will come and greet him wherever he goes. [the greetings are usually friendly]

- Hermitopia Au! Keralis is a hero who most people wouldn't expect to be too skilled at fighting. His power is similar to hypnosis so he has no need to get very physical. Yeah, that changed when some bastard villain decided to attack his friends shop. [that incident caused his employer Scar to realize his untapped potential for protecting people and assign him to a few more high-stakes jobs]

- Hermittopia!TFC was one of ConCorp’s first experiments and as such his powers are a bit less...refined then the others. He has geokinetic powers, allowing him to psychically control rocks and other earthen materials. He used to be one of the VEX programs top graduates, but has since parted ways with them for unknown reasons and now operates his own plans of keep crime in Hermitopia under control. -lechairpourriedegrianri [he is considered Unaffiliated and both Concorp and the government largely leave him to his own devices, since he is helping to keep the city together]

-Wels doesn't have powers. He does have a super-suit made of fire and heat resistant carbon fibre (like the material used for the space shuttle) and has a built in hologram projector. One time, he used the hologram projector to project an image of himself, which everyone thought was a clone. He didn't have the heart to tell them otherwise. (AKA everyone thinks Wels has powers but he doesn't) -Silverwolf53 [he got the suit in Project VEX]

- To follow up on the Impulse ask- Team ZIT are a space-themed superhero team. Government-aligned, at least for now.Tango has meteor-like powers, he can shoot fire from his hands and feet and often uses this to propel himself at high speeds. Zed has gravity powers! He can increase or decrease the density of any object, to the point of making small black holes. They all have space-themed costumes, and it was probably Zed's idea. - @mleemwyvern

- TFC was the first participant in project VEX

- Grian was an attempted success. It fixed some problems with Etho's unintended cloning, but at the same time created some problems of its own, seeing as the clones appeared to have a life of their own.It's fine, though. It's probably fine

- I would say Grian is unrestrained, a bit like Etho, Chaotic in his own way. Does not activily Try to hurt people, but does mostly what he wants for fun.-Ciara

- Xisuma is a civilian- he has hero friends, but despite all their teasing he’s never wanted to go through VEX training. But in the night, the unrestrained Void walks the streets [Void is a symbiotic creature made of nothingness that uses Xisuma's body as a substitute physical form]

- Bdubs was such a good man... he could be trusted to look after Doc, couldn’t he? Somebody had to oversee him, somebody who was reliable and would never, ever consider betraying the mayor and ConCorp...They let their guard down, and Bdubs got curious. Bdubs made a friend.And then they lost him.- Slimetek

- The hels hermits are considered evil by default. How do you spot these clones, how could you protect yourself? Well in the past it was a lot easier, just look for their red eyesNowadays contacts exist but that doesn't stop people trying to call the police on tango, calling him a hels. Hes netherian, they have unnatural eye colours and their iris fills the entire eye, hes not evil but if people keep doing this hes gonna be!

- Beef woke up from his brain surgery to receive telepathy powers, took one look into the mind of the overseer, and noped put of there as fast as he could go.He's on very public record. After all, the mind control he may be capable of is a very convenient explanation for anyone who turns against concorp... ~DragonKay

- Hypno can’t control minds.They say he does. It’s why he’s named Hypno, after all.In reality, he can’t control people like that... but he can control what they see.Your best friend might look like your greatest enemy. A pit of lava might look like solid ground. A 100-foot drop might look like a step down.It’s a good thing he’s a hero, and a good thing he keeps his true powers hidden beneath a guise of low-level hypnotism. There’s no telling what he could do if they let him go. [he works for Concorp, helping to protect VEX trainees from people trying to harm them before they get a chance to finish the program, as well as keeping other resources safe]

- The 9th Street Incident [referring to an earlier Impulse comment] was a friendly greeting. That particular version of Etho just thought that drawing weapons would be a friendly greeting for Impulse, but Tango and Zed seem to disagree

- They still don’t trust Bdubs. He was with the government for a long time, and things are hard out there on the run. Besides, they don’t know what he got up to there. ConCorp could have any sort of information on him, something that might scare him back.Bdubs understands this. He doesn’t want to go back. He’d hate to go back....but they think he will, and maybe there’s something he’s not telling them. An ace that ConCorp has yet to play.- Slimetek

- Mumbo works for concorp as an engineer specialising in robotics, most recently taking on the task of maintaining Iskall's cybernetics that somehow they just keep damaging. Iskall assures him they're just.. very clumsy. So far Mumbo hasn't caught on.

- Ren's power is that hes a werewolf, but he only found out when he was in his late teens with his childhood friend Iskall. He still feels guilty about it, he did kill his best friend afterall. Or so he thinks.He's lived off grid ever since, too overwhelmed with grief and guilt to rejoin society. Most assume he's dead too - @ghastly-ghostie [Ren dropped Iskall off to Concorp as a last ditch effort, running away before he could see whether they took his friend in or not. They did, starting Iskall's plotline. Iskall told Concorp about Ren's abilities, triggering a panic in the Concorp ranks at the fact that Ren is a superhuman being created by some force other than their own project]

- Where does Void come from? The same place all powers come from.Little did they know, something survived the crash and has taken a human host. Maybe it's not the only one...No, that place is not Concorp. Concorp's original goal was to develop technology by reverse-engineering from a crashed alien spaceship. These aliens did gene-editing the way some people do nose jobs, so they adapted that technology, too.~DragonKay

- i've already said a bit about it in the discord but i have hermitopia cleo brainrot. joe being there was able to save her by giving her the regen powers along with her puppeteering telekinesis power. anyways cleo is presumed dead, sent by concorp into a mission as fodder basically until zit could arrive. but now there's is one (1) bitter undead vigilante against concorp that is presumed dead

- Stress’s name has a few meanings in relation to her. Whenever she gets too angry or /stressed/, she transforms into the StressMonster, a monster that feeds off of other people’s stress to become more powerful. Luckily, the monster is rarely seen, but does terrible things when she is. She’s one of the most feared creatures in Hermitopia. Stress hates her and tries her best to hide her from her friends, but it can backfire sometimes. - @guster-animations

- to follow-up on Joe being presumed dead: remember the time dilation incident he was stuck in? ConCorp figured it was best to cut their losses and not try to send anyone in to rescue him -- it would be a pointless mission. so they abandoned him, quietly announced that he had died in the line of duty, and put the affected area under high security clearance in order to prevent any future accidents. they figured he was already dead. and Joe figures, given that they up and abandoned him, maybe it's for the best that they continue to figure just that. he changed his last name to "Hills" -- a joke about the biome containing the time anomaly -- and otherwise proceeded to stay under the radar. he still uses the time dilation area as a base of operations, sometimes; it's very useful to have a hideout that people physically cannot get into/out of without his direct assistance. is he nursing a grudge, coming up with some convoluted scheme to get back at the paramilitary group for abandoning him? or does he just want to live a relatively normal life off the grid? who knows. that's the Joe [REDACTED] Hills difference. -@betweenlands

- False has some big scary power that is almost Eldritch she just happens to prefer a sword and doesn’t really care for who she works for as long as they’re paying... (they don’t need to know of the power that had harmed the ones she loves the most)

- Keralis once encountered Void sulking around where Xisuma worked. So fearful for his friend’s safety, he used his power on Void and told him to go away. Apparently the charm is still active, because if Void spots Keralis anywhere, he’ll turn tail and run. No, it’s not because he’s scared. Absolutely not.

- Grumbot serves as a sentient supercomputer created by Mumbo for Grian. Grian is using Grumbot for... various activities, all of which harmless, but a certain evil clone [Helsknight] has reverse engineered the technology. Concorp would like for Mumbo to give them the tech, but mumbo stuck some eyes to the computer, got emotionally attached, and refuses to give up his baby boy.

- When Impulse hears his friend/colleague Bdubs has been "taken over" by the mind-controller [Beef], he wants to go on an off-the-books mission to rescue him! Just giving up like they were told to isn't in his nature.Of course the rest of ZIT are with him. Heroes save people! It's what they do!~DragonKay

- Hermitopia is a mixture of sleek futuristic and cyberpunk in terms of style. It really depends on where you live and work (ik this doesnt include any hermits but whatever) - @ghastly-ghostie

- I wonder if Cleo's overactive healing powers affect herself and if any injuries she receives immediately heal over like wolverine or deadpool

- Ren used to be friends with Cleo too, but then she died. Strangely enough, she died on the same day that Ren killed Iskall. Ren’s lost all his friends. It’s hard living in isolation when there’s no one left that even cares about you. (Unless— no, that’s impossible.)

- I was thinking about Biffa, like you do. And Biffa would totally be some robot that was created by Project VEX in its early stages, however they realised fast that it was easier to use humans and give them powers, maybe its not their strong suit with robots. But Biff went sentient and glitched and was scrapped so hes just out there doing his thing. Hes a wildcard and plays for which side he wants at the time, sometimes he'll help or sometimes hes the one causing trouble. He looks pretty similar to a android like in Detroit:Become human but hes a bit uncanny and eerie, maybe its the eyes or the blood red armour. Powerwise, he's got more strength than a human does, mainly because he isn't limited like others are. try not to get punched by him, it'll hurt! [He's convinced Concorp will destroy him if they find out he's alive and Unaffiliated] -lucodak

- Going off of my thing about hermotopia impulse having friends everywhere....this may include the nho. Okay, they beat him to a pulp on one of his solo patrols once, but theey felt bad n patched him up! He has to keep it a secret. He brings them dinner alot. And checks in on them.

- Beef is the perfect cover-up for Bdubs’ desertion. ConCorp doesn’t want any other employees getting bright ideas, now, do they? Nor do they want employees getting nosy and trying to figure out where Bdubs went. They don’t have to tell people what Beef’s powers are. They just release that he developed powers after brain surgery, and a rumour that he was spotted lurking around before Bdubs suddenly betrayed ConCorp... and people draw their own conclusions. -Slimetek

- xB is pretty sure he’s supposed to be evil.I mean, that’s what sentient AIs usually end up being, according to a quick internet search. And yet he’s... not. Or maybe he’s just on the wrong side. - Slimetek

- Yes impulse is friends with the nho....what he doesn't know? He's....easily susceptible to hypnosis. Very easily.......Of course, after impulse is basically a very tired n warm cuddle bug, so, cuddle piles tend to happen after all information is spilled. He must've fallen asleep at their apartment again! Whoops! But it's okay.....they take good care of him if he does! [Beef is using his mind reading ability on Impulse without his knowledge, to make sure that he hasn't spilled their location and to predict the government's next moves. He feels slightly bad about it but feels that it is necessary for the nHo's survival.]

- So far, Grian has only ever encountered two of his clones, NPC Grian and Robot Grian. Technically three, if one were to count Ariana Griande. Grian doesn't really, but some do. [Ariana Griande is a popular musician in Hermitopia who is building a career using the magical stone of voice enhancement she recieved through the cloning process]

- To handle the two Grumbot issue: the one working with Helsknight can be Jrumbot, a legion of robot drones meant to work as Grumbot’s physical form that ended up being hijacked by Helsknight and turned against ConCorp

- There...aren’t a lot of “normal” animals left in Hermittopia. ConCorp took one look at the animals populating the city and decided that, hey, they could make some improvements. Species after species, they modified their behavior, appearance, internal structure, whatever they could fix, tweak, or add. They were just improving their lives and the lives of the citizens of Hermittopia, after all, but the new animals quickly outcompeted the old for resources and habitats. And if it makes it easier for ConCorp to stick a camera in one or two of them, or set up robotic animals to keep a better eye on the city, no harm, no foul, right?(Bonus: there is one (1) singular cat left in Hermittopia, resulting in a spy movie-style heist where two teams of Hermits attempt to “rescue” the cat simultaneously. The cat keeps wandering away from both teams. Shenanigans ensue)- Adonis [the cat is Jellie, who orchestrated the competition between Team ZIT and Cleo and Joe for her own entertainment, getting away from both parties in the end]

- The Leak:Not all mutations are the result of controlled experiments! If some alien tech got away from the crash site, concorp never would have picked it up. It might have got into nature, not as refined as they made it in the labs but causing little changes here and there. Ren may have become a werewolf from being bitten by a mutant wolf~DragonKay

- Impulse is able to use his powers to create illusions or male things appear invisible! Sort of. After all, light dictates what we see. It takes a lot of focus, though, so it's not that practical. -@rayveewrites

- The one thing Hels wasn't able to steal was the cloning technology, hence his hostility with Concorp -- he needs the cloning device, because how else is the void going to get a body of their own? - SilverWolf53

- *glances at the hermitopia werewolf ask* okay but what if the same mystery people who made ren into a werewolf also created jevin, and maybe Etho? idk if either of them have been given any hermitopia headcanons yet lol. but im sure the same people who made a werewolf could make a sentient slime (or perhaps rescue one) or make... whatever etho is. [Since the "second organization" is an incorrect assumption believed by Concorp, Jevin was created when he came in contact with a waterway contaminated by The Leak. Concorp assumes he was created by an opposing organization and not by accident, and therefore would like to bring him in along with Ren.]

- hermitopia - mumbo and grian were friends back when cloning experiments were still happening (or . as friendly as you can be with someone who's treating you like a lab rat), but after everything went wrong and grian escaped, mumbo has his memories wiped nd thats why he's trusted w iskall's stuff? bc he inherently remembers working on high-level things without knowing where he learnt it - muscle memory, yk?anyway massive angst with grian maybe recognising mumbo, but not the other way round, and trying to rekindle their friendship? and that's where grumbot comes in? -gin [Mumbo's memory was wiped so that he would forget the deadly purpose of Iskall's cybernetics, which he was working on at the same time as the Grian project in the background. Mumbo does not remember creating Grian's mechanical wings or Iskall's arm and eye, and he has no memory of either individual previous to "meeting" Iskall as the person assigned to his repair and upkeep.]

- Etho doesn't so much have powers as he is powers. All the powers the ‘original’ had went into creating him; now he just exists, as whatever sort of being he is. Not a human one, that much is obvious. ~DragonKay [Etho has no powers beyond the hivemind and his training, due to the error in the experiment that caused the clones]

- Mumbo started the button as a joke. A nonsense social expirement to see how much people want worthless signs of status. Unfortunately things got out of hand, and violent too. But hey! It's not his fault that the five special anomalous stones were misplaced into the prize dispenser! It was just chance that they fell into the hands of the clone of the worst gremlin in the city! Don't fire him! [He was not fired, but Cub was Decidedly Unhappy with him for a good long while]

- Void mostly trashes ConCorp facilities- trying to figure out if any of his siblings survived the spaceship crash, but occasionally he’ll pilfer from a bakery, because X is a health nut and Void just wants a gods damned cookie [Void very much dislikes unseasoned chicken]

- If the Stress Monster gets too big, too dangerous, Cleo is sworn under oath to Stress to zap her with her healing powers. Cleo doesn’t like to do it, overhealing a stressed Stress makes her so calm she gets knocked out for a couple of days, but Stress can take a small comfort in the fact that at least one person out there can stop her

- Ooh with the self healing Cleo she'd be able to develop a small amount of super strength, with how the mind keeps from going full throttle because it would destroy the body once she gets over it it's hysterical strength whenever she wants [it is quite painful, but a good backup plan]

- Being a hive mind of disposable clones that can spawn new copies at will, it can sometimes be hard for the Etho Entity to remember that it is indeed a big deal for other people when they get hurt. This can make him come off as callous to those around him, placing him firmly in the "villain" category in most citizen's books, but he really doesn't intend any harm!

- Grian used to be tall, but then the cloning happened. With each clone they stole a little bit of his height making him the short man he is today. He needs to capture those clones and get his height back. [Grian isn't entirely sure how to accomplish this, but he's dead set on trying! He misses being tall!]

- While Grian was perfectly fine with Ariana Griande living her own life, he did insist on one thing.Her "older brother" getting backstage access whenever she was on tour. He's very proud and supportive of her and her music career.

- Mumbo is perfectly content working in tech, watching the other hermits get up to crazy shenanigans. Except of course, there was that one time he was out testing some new gear and accidentally saved a crowd from some villains... and there were all those times after too...But hey! It’s not his fault that people like him, and he certainly isn’t going to get caught by Concorp during his after hours activities. [Mumbo considers himself an accidental hobbyist, not thinking he has the nerve or the skill for proper hero work. Time will tell if he's right about that or not...but unfortunately, he probably is. This should be fun.]

- There’s still some people overseeing VEX, even over Cub. They’re the ones that push Cub to do certain experiments or to scrap one. They’re the ones to give Cub the decision for Iskall’s life debt. Scar was under them too for the longest time, but eventually he wanted out. Cub still wanted in. They were still in the right, right? That’s what they tell him. He’s starting to doubt it. [Cub is way too invested in everything he's built to even think about going rogue now, but he does resent and occasionally question the judgement of his superiors increasingly as his project begins to fail more and more often. He also fears that Scar's shift in career will be seen as a betrayal, rather than as a tactical attempt to gain the company influence in the government.]

- Been thinking about the impulse + nho asks and just,,, what would happen if concorp/the government found out? It cant be good with interrogation/hypnosis on both sides (incase you cant tell,, the brainrot got me as well) (apologies if this is a mess im excited) [Hypno is assigned to set up an illusionary conversation to make Impulse reveal nHo location to Concorp and government agents while thinking that he's actually talking to the nHo in a random encounter]

- The one mind Beef can't read is Etho's. Their hivemind is just too weird for him to comprehend. If he ever tries to listen in, it sounds like just a bunch of static from an old TV.

- for hermitopia au!: Out of most of the heros, the most reckless may be team zit. sure they tell themselves they'll plan out missions but it's hard when they share a braincell and tango just runs in. impulse and zed share a look everytime and have to run after him to make sure he doesn't get too hurt or overwhelmed by the enemy. in their defence its hard to plan ahead against an enemy when you dont know what they are thinking.-lucodak ["You might not have known what they were thinking, Tango, but we'd generally like you to know what you're thinking!"]

- i bet ConCorp really wants to make it out like theres some secret shady organization creating all these people with mutations, rather than their own operatives deserting and their own failure to contain dangerous chemicals... whether its malicious coverups or just ignorance to the fact they messed up, wonder what would happen if that sort of thing came to light...? [If they found out that the unintentional superhumans were a result of the poorly-contained crash site? Cub would lose his job...maybe worse. If Cub found out (and he hasn't, yet) he would do everything in his power to keep that information from his superiors.]

- (paraphrased) Impulse accidentally walks in on heroes and agents breaking down the doors of the nHo's hideout and confronting them. Scar claims that they did so on information Impulse himself provided and thanks him for his service. Impulse, feeling confused and betrayed, resists Hypno's attempts to illusion him back to Scar's side and flees the scene with the nHo, knowing very little other than the fact that he doesn't want to be manipulated by the government any more (and still not knowing that Beef has been reading his mind)

- Impulse may have been labeled a traitor. But do you really think that Impulse, secret rebel, starting to learn how dangerous and corrupted Concorp really is, wouldn't let his best friends know about the danger they might be in? I think Team ZIT is more loyal to each other than to the government. - @mleemwyvern [ Impulse's first stop after escaping with the nHo is to find a place to secretly meet Tango and Zedaph and tell them about the way he was tricked. It takes a lot of explaining and a lot of trust, but they eventually decide to believe his claims and are left with a choice: will they openly go rogue and become a target along with Impulse and the rest of the nHo, or are they better off using their established image and reputation to keep an eye on the government heros' movements from the inside?]

- (two asks combined, paraphrased) Ren runs out of supplies and decides to head back into the city, confident in his ability to stay off the grid after so many years of experience and such a long time away. Once there, he runs into Doc, and they hit it off quite quickly. However, the more Ren talks the more Doc realizes - with his ex-Concorp knowledge - that Ren matches the description of Iskall's main target exactly. He warns Ren, who is then faced with the knowledge that Iskall is alive and assigned to kill him...so many questions and so many tears to follow...

- Why did Hermitopia start needing heroes? When the Unrestrained started to appear, if course. Why did the Unrestrained start to appear? A question asked a little less. When did the VEX program start? When did they start taking more risks? When did they stop caring about certainty and safety and shift towards trying to push boundaries they weren't ready to? People can be so enamoured with the concept of superhuman abilities, something bright and glorious and good- and perhaps they could have that too- they don't ask all the right questions. It's all an elaborate game of damage control, don't let the flashy heroics fool you, they've made mistakes, terrible, terrible mistakes, and now there are villains running loose with powers they fooled ConCorp into giving them. Are they villains? Are they victims? Does it matter? They're causing problems. [Project VEX has developed into a solution to its own problems, a self perpetuating cycle...one that Cub, as a businessman, is very familiar with. It's what keeps the wheels of industry turning. It's what keeps innovation creeping forward. It wasn't intentional, not this time...but if it keeps his project alive, he'll take it.]

- One time, Jevin had narrowly dodged being captured by Concorp. He was laying low in the forest out of town, when he had a run-in with some sort of wolf creature. Thankfully, claws and teeth couldn't exactly hurt him anymore, so he just played dead until it gave up.When the moon set, the wolf-thing slowly transformed into a human being. Ren was horrified at the thought he'd lost control and hurt someone- again- but Jevin assured him he was fine. Jevin got the feeling that the werewolf needed a friend, and Jevin himself needed a place to stay for a while... -RayveeWrites [Ren and Jevin are not currently in the same location, but they each have a means of contacting each other for help if needed]

- Worm Man wasn't a well- known super, but plenty of people have noticed that he seemed to vanish at the same time Team ZIT first started active duty. Those people have also noticed that one of the members has a very similar power set to WM.Officially, that's just a coincidence. Officially.-RayveeWrites [Zedaph was trying to get some unofficial practice while still in training in the VEX program]

- A common misconception is that Bdubs conjures up his vines from nowhere. He can't.Like any plant, his vines grow from seeds. They grow unnaturally fast, when Bdubs wills it, but they have to come from seeds. Where do these seeds come from, you may ask?Well, a long time ago, Bdubs ingested some strange fruits. Somehow, in wild defiance of human biology, the seeds contained in those fruits worked their way into his muscles and germinated. Some of the roots worked their way into his brain and fused into it; the rest spread through his muscles, grew beneath his skin, coiled around his bones. Thanks to the way the vines connected to his brain, Bdubs is able to command the vines, and their magic, at will.The vines produce seeds; some stay in his body to replace the old ones when they die, and most work their way into a pair of 'seed pods' in his wrists. Bdubs provides the nutrients, the energy; the vines provide the seeds, the magic. As an extra bonus: if the vines were to be totally removed from Bdubs' body, he would be at best extremely weak, and at worst dead. The vines have grown into his muscles, to the point where they've essentially replaced them in some areas. It's fortunate that they connected with his mind so early on, otherwise he'd be dead. -RayveeWrites [Concorp developed the fruit, and the fact that Bdubs is evidence of the unlikely success of that experiment makes them all the more angry at his betrayal]

- A lot of excellent xB information (it's too long to copy but please read it it's very good)

- Iskall has exactly one (1) failed assignment. That assignment? The kill or capture of Stress. Stress and Iskall have been, or should it be were now, friends for a very long time, since before Iskall even met Ren. So one can imagine the stress this causes Iskall, to be told to kill his one remaining friend that he knows is alive. Of course, this stress is quite enough to to Stress's Stress Monster into one it's strongest yet seen forms, allowing for Stress to then get away. (1/2)(2/2) Of course, Con Corp doesn't- and can never- know the true reason that Iskall cannot kill or capture Stress. If they knew, if they subjected Stress to the same hell he's in- no, that cannot happen. So Iskall hires False to protect Stress, to interfere whenever they send him on a mission for her. Luckily, False is good at keeping secrets when she wants to, and this one she'll keep. But as far as Con Corp knows, Iskall has severe stress and trauma from being a cyborg, and that's why he fails. [This all adds up to a monumental waste of Concorp's time and money, which also results in False getting payed, so all parties involved are happy except for Concorp >:)]

- Impulse would take a bullet for his teammates, and he knows they might be about to take one for him, keeping him updated on what's going on government side of this... slander. Still, Tango and Zed are great actors, and if he didn't know better, he might be a little worried they would *actually* be hunting him down in the name of justice [Tango and Zed are now being sent on missions to retrieve Impulse, which they must pretend to lose believably. They occasionally overestimate their friend's abilities and give him a few more close calls than he'd like, but overall the ruse is holding up.]

Writing:

- Wels, Hels, TFC, and Grumbot

- Bdubs Concorp promotion and desertion

- Joe Hills in his time dilation hideout

- Etho clones, ZIT, and the nHo

- Keralis and Void

- [ALTERNATE] Reveal of Impulse's situation with the nHo

Art:

- Impulse suit design

[liighty]

Guzma babysitting Reader’s Niece

(A/N): BACK ON MY BULLSHIT AGAIN! BUT THIS TIME IT’S NOT ALL THAT SELF-INDULGENT AND MIGHT POSSIBLY BE TURNED INTO A SUPER FIC IF I FEEL LIKE IT

In all honesty i’ve thought about making another largeass super self-indulgent Guzma x Reader mega fic, but I’m not sure if I want to? I don’t know if anybody would read it, so that’s what this post is for!!! If you like this and want to see actual Guzma x Reader with plot and not just fluff drabbles lmk!! I have a bunch of asks to address so maybe i’ll get to that too soon

Anyways, back to the fic.

Mini Summary: (Y/N)’s niece needs to be babysat while (Y/N) is interviewed, so they turn to Guzma and crew to help out for a bit. Chaos ensues.

Rating/Triggers: UH drugs are mentioned but not really? THE KID DOES NOT DO DRUGS!!!! but yeah if that makes you uncomfy i’d be careful with it??\

Pairing: Guzma/Gender Neutral!Reader (I used the honorific ‘Titi’ which is gender neutral for ‘Tia’ or ‘Tio’ [extra thanks to Ocha_Bocha for helping me with that one <3] and tried to make it as gender neutral as possible. Originally this was written with a male reader, and then I went female, and ultimately attempted to eliminate gender completely. [Following the footsteps of Splatoon teehee])

Fic under cut!!!!!

"Are you sure this is a good idea, honey?" You clutch your niece's hand as you approach the large walls that separate Po Town from the rest of Ula'Ula Island. It's not that you don't trust the man who you're leaving her with- in fact, those two have been acquainted previously and seem to get along fairly well- It's his friends who you're concerned about.

"..." Her silence is expected, as the kid isn't all that talkative. Recognizing the young girl's silence, you frown. 

"You can stay in the office lounge if you really want to. I know you aren't the biggest fan of crowds, and um- Guz has some pretty loud friends-" Your explanation of what to be expected is quickly interrupted by a blue haired young man decked in black and white clothing. "Yo yo, what's with the kid?!" 

You arch a brow. You knew that Guzma worked with kids, but this guy couldn't be any older than 15! "I could say the same for you. I'm here to talk to Guzma-"

"Ya mean the boss? Why would some random chick want anything ta do with the leader of the Team Skull, huh?!"

A pink haired girl dressed in the same outfit walks up to the boy, crossing her arms. "Shut it, ya clod. Don't you remember the conversation we had with Boss yesterday?"

Hearing this, the blue haired boy's eyes light up in an epiphany. "Ohhhhh shit- Right-"

"Watch yer fuckin' language around the kiddo." She lightly smacks the back of Dansei's head. "She's in good hands, ma'am."

Another pink haired woman, this one being someone you finally recognize, walks in and smacks both of the delinquents in the head once more. "You say that after cussing, Reese?" 

Thank God. Plumeria. "Hey Plumes-" You smile weakly, waving politely with your free hand. Your niece does the same. Another young man, this one much shorter than the first and with green curly hair scrambles after Plumeria, jumping up and down to be seen. "Sorry about these numskulls. I'll lead y'all to the big boss man, yo. No worries at all, so you can chillax!"

I'm regretting this more and more by the second.

The crew starts whistling some hip hop tune as they make their way to the Shady House, the smaller boy beatboxing. You've taken this time to offer a piggyback ride to your niece, who's politely declined. Are all kids like this? Or is it just her?

Once they approach the boss, Guzma immediately jumps out of his chair, his signature shit-eating grin plastered on his face. "Eyyyyyy! (Y/N)!!! Kiddo!! What's up, homeslice?!" He hops down the stairs and crouches so he can get at eye-level with the young girl, offering his fist for a pound-it.

She bumps her fist against his, smiling just a bit. It's more of a reaction than you expected, at least. "S-sup, Uncle Guzma-" 

Looks like his slang is rubbing off on her. That's cute.

"Thanks for droppin' by, Doll. No need to worry about Little Miss Troublemaker over here, I got it all under control." He picks up your niece and walks over to you, pressing a looooooooongass smooch on your cheek. The other Team Skull members all make mini comments, like "Ewwww-", "Grosss-", and "Cooties-", causing Plumeria to once again smack their heads together. 

You roll your eyes, unable to stop the smirk on your face from growing any further. "Not in front of the kids, Guz." "Ah, right, right- My bad." His shades slide onto his face, hiding the bright red blush that had crept onto his cheeks. "Well, you should probably get goin', ey? The Aether Foundation's one lucky company to have you interviewin' for a position."

"Dork." You boop his nose, then your niece's. "Call me if you need me, okay honey? I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Okay, Titi (Y/N)-" You smile at the nickname while the others snicker. 'Titi' sounds an awful lot like 'Tittie', and considering three of the 7 people in the room are immature teenagers, there's definitely some laughing going on in the background. Plumeria looks very tired. How does she deal with these kids all the time?

"Alright, I'll be back. Don't light anything on fire, okay?" You yell as you walk off, feeling a slight hint of unease at the idea of leaving your young niece with so many delinquents, even if it's just for a few hours. It'll be fine, though. Guzma's there to keep them from doing anything stupid.

You laugh at the thought. Who am I kidding? He's probably gonna be the one who explodes something first.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The interview itself wasn't all that bad. You're fairly certain that you either aced it or put yourself up for consideration, which in itself helped your confidence just a bit. With the absence of Lusamine and the arrest of several of her chairmen, the foundation was very antsy and in need of someone who could handle the Pokemon Observation department. With your background in medicine and PR, you were rationally on the list of potential replacements, and despite your initial resistance, learning that the company would be run by somebody that WASN'T the manipulative little bitch Lusamine gave you enough comfort to accept the offer for the interview. Was it just an offer or an invitation? You weren't quite sure, but Wick was very insistent on you showing up.

Either way, you're pretty certain you got the job. Good on you. 

You can't help but wonder how your niece is doing, surrounded by so many troublemakers. As you make your way to the entrance of the Shady House, you can hear loud music, causing you to feel a small tint of anxiety. She'll be fine.

You walk up to the door and creak it open, the smell of burnt… whatever the fuck that is flooding your nostrils. Of course. They lit something on fire.

"Guz??" You call out to the empty room. "Plumes? Anybody home?" As expected, there's no response. You start to feel more and more anxious the more ground you start to cover. Where are they? Peeking your head around the corridor, your anxiety comes to its peak when-

"And that's why you should never do drugs, aight?"

H-Huh?

Your niece sits on Guzma's knee as he bounces it up and down, his signature shit-eating grin plastered on his face like usual. Awfully burnt cookies sit on the table, explaining the smell from earlier, and Plumeria seems to be asleep with the other team skull grunts. Are they… napping? Seems like it. 

She nods enthusiastically, taking a bite of a charred cookie and grimacing shortly after, causing the two to both laugh in unison.

"Doesn't matter if it's just for recreational purposes, you could still get hooked, and that's the last thing we want!" Grinning once again, Guzma pokes her forehead.

Hypocrite. You're reminded of the first time you two had kissed, which happened to be shortly after you both had blazed a couple of joints. It's enough to get you laughing, though.

"Huh?! What're you doing here so early? Don't tell me ya flunked THAT bad!" Guzma's eyes widen, a genuine look of bewilderment painted on his face.

"I did not flunk! I think I did great!" You huff, crossing your arms defiantly. "It's suuuuuuuper comforting that you thought I failed, Guz."

"Nononono I was joking!! Right, kiddo??" Your niece quickly nods. "See???? No harm, no foul!"

Arching a brow, you walk up to the two and pick up the young girl. "Mhmmm. Did you have fun, honey?"

She nods again, unable to contain the grin on her face. "Uncle Guzma told me about his Pokemon training! And I got to ride on Golisopod's back!" 

The large bug type pokemon bops up and down upon hearing its name, prompting a smirk from Guzma. "Yeah, I told ya I'd take care of her. She's welcome back anytime, okay?"

"Thanks, Guz." You peck his cheek, and your niece sticks her tongue out, closing her eyes. 

"Icky cooties!!" Where the hell did she hear that? The only people you can think of who'd say such a thing are in the other room snoozing, so- Yeah, actually, you know exactly who taught her that word.

"Well, I'm gonna getchu with my cooties! And my tickles!" You raise a hand menacingly, wiggling your fingers with one eye closed. She immediately curls up, not out of fear, but out of excitement. It's nice to see her so happy again.

After a very long tickle session, you quickly glance at the large grandfather clock, noting the short hand of the clock slowly approaching the number 8. Shit. "We gotta go, kiddo. Your dad isn't gonna be all that happy if we get home any later than 8:30. Besides, it's past your bedtime."

"I bet Uncle Guzma stays up past his bedtime-" She yawns. "Can we stay for a little longer?"

How can I say no to that face? You find yourself incredibly conflicted. Do you tell her you have to leave anyways? Or do you stay and risk getting in trouble by your brother-in-law?

"Eh, as much as I'd love to have you over for longer, kiddo- Look at your Titi (Y/N). They look exhausted."

You smile gratefully at the comment, glad that it doesn't have to be you to tell your niece to go home. "Yeah, I'm beat. We can hang out some other time, okay? I promise." You pat her head and get ready to leave.

"Aww… okay. Bye, Uncle Guzma!! Bye Golisopod!" She holds your hand, and the two of you eventually walk your way back to the car. As you drive away, one thing lingers in your head. You can't think of anything else, in all honesty.

Guzma's great with kids. I should've expected as much, but… I'm glad he gets along with my family.

Your stomach rumbles at the intersection. I'd kill for some malasadas right about now- 

Okay, maybe you CAN think of something else.

[maladaptive-ninja-returns]

It’s The Avengers (03x14)

Loki x Reader Avengers The Office AU (Slowwwwww Burn)

Season 3 Episode 14: It’s Not What It Looks Like

Series Summary: Living in the Avengers facility post-apocalypse in a better timeline   Tony Stark has decided to capture every moment by pulling The Office on the Avengers. All of housemates are pretty used to the idea except for you, who had just come here to finish her degree, and the newest member- Loki.

Warnings: ehehehehehe

Word Count: my anxiety was through the roof this time. and that too on the thing that I know was not achievable. But noooo my boss just wants results. Well, fuck you and your boss who gave me anxiety. You will know the pain of these tears soon.

MASTERLIST in bio, darlings. Tags are open (check bio)

The familiar sports car shining in its red shade came to a halt right outside the door for Tony to get out and greet the lone camera covering him. "How's it going fellas?" He seemed comparatively chirpier than the last few days as he whistled his way to the boot of the trunk to take out five boxes of large pizzas along with a whole bag filled with soda and side dishes. "It's pizza party today, my lovely unicorn," he announced to the camera person; mostly because there was no one else in his vicinity.

Tony: *standing next to his car* I have come realise that I have been a bit hard on my team because of the anxiety I've been feeling ever since Y/N disappeared from right in front of me. Like last Monday. *camera switches to the video recording of Last Monday* Tony is seen in the kitchenette making detox juice for himself after a workout. Sam comes and grabs the coffee pot, looking around for a mug to pour himself some. The only mug hanging on the stand is your Brooklyn Nine-Nine themed one. "Well," he mutters to himself, "no one's using this for a while." Just as he finishes the sentence, Tony's hand slips on the juicer switch and the green spill out everywhere in the space, making Sam yell for help. "You are excluded from my will," Tony announces while looking dead into Sam's eyes before pouring the coffee from his pot into the sink and walking away. *back to present* Tony: Pepper says I went overboard but Sam didn't have to say that now did he. *makes a cringe face* Anyways. This is my way of showing them that I have made peace with the situation for now and that I trust our alien friends to get my daughter back to me asap.

Tony walked into the facility to be greeted by dead silence. "Did I miss something?" he wondered out loud for the camera while looking around the lobby and the waiting area. "I am pretty sure we were not supposed to go out anywhere thanks to that stubborn virus."  He walked up the elevator to be greeted by Clint coming back from the security room with his self-regulated watch, carrying two glasses of iced Americanos- one of which he offered Tony. "Pizza-" he seemed happy to see the boxes, taking the bag from Tony- "what's the occasion? Are you firing one of us? Is there a budget cut because of the 'Rona? In that case, just know that I spot a person without a mask from miles. And I can end them right there." Tony pressed the button for the lounge and waited for the camera to record his wink and smile till the doors closed to let the other handy camera in the elevator- following Clint- take over. Clint did a survey of the bag and was quite content with the contents. Tony, still with his glasses on, walked his usual walk that displayed well that he owned the place. "No one's getting fired unless they are eating my choco-chip ice cream." "You have set the bar pretty low." "It's pretty much up to the expectations I have from you all."

Clint shrugged and went on to agree with him, walking behind the Iron Man as the elevator dinged. The camera followed Clint and Tony out to film the scene unfolding in the Lounge. Manoeuvring away from their shoulders, the camera caught that deadpan silence in the room filled with nearly every Avenger staring at the screen with the seriousness of defusing a bomb that may go off any time. Peter was hiding under Scott's arm, peeping at the screen through his hands while Scott was biting his nails, nervousness dripping from his forehead. Wanda held Vision's hand while she muttered something under her breath- most probably a chant. Sam seemed to have forgotten he was watering the plants for the water-can was already empty and yet he still went on to pour the contents while his eyes were glued to the screen. Bucky's hands were busy brushing Zuko's fur- while the pupper took this opportunity to lay in his lap and snooze- monotonously, his gaze too stuck on the screen. "Come on, come on. Do it," Steve muttered while on the edge of his seat on the sofa. The camera swivelled back to Clint and Tony- both of whom had confused looks on their faces by now. Both of them turned to the screen in sync to witness what exactly was it that had all of them in such a grim state. And it was something like this.

On the screen was a barely lit space that seemed like it could have been a small closet under somebody's staircase. In that barely lit space, you could be seen from your abdomen up. There you were, panting, sweating, your hair a literal mess, your bra strap dangling out of your tank top's straps. "Again," you panted, wiping the sweat beads from your forehead while positioning your hands on a surface where the camera was seemingly recording you from. And in that same dim light, a movement was discovered behind you. That movement was of the exposed muscles and skin that the viewers had never seen in their daily life. Well, neither had they seen that very person pant and sweat like this before as well. Green eyes shined in that bare light, as the familiar face came out from the shadows to apparently hover just above your shoulder. One pale hand was used to remove those clammy hair strands coming in his way before both arms mimicked your position and came to rest on either side of your arms. "Are you sure?" Loki's voice, breathless and heavy, questioned you with sincerity while his body did not budge from behind you. You nodded. "Again." The frame caught you adjusting your hips to position your butt right with his front- something that was not covered by the camera. He towered over you, adjusting to your height while grounded his arms on the surface. "Okay then," he whispered, taking one arm to move your butt a little closer to your frame before going back to anchor himself to the surface, "here we go."

The iced Americanos created a crackle and bang louder than expected- thanks to the already looming silence- when they hit the floor. The pizza box and other snacks? Not so much. Every other person jumped where they were to turn and watch the colours from Tony and Clint's faces drain away by the second, their jaws unhinged, their hearts at a pause and their lungs just no longer working. Steve- the only one in the room to have deciphered what had just gone down in those Dad brains- got up and raised his arms till his chest as of sign of caution. "It's not what you think. Tony, Clint it's not-" The elevator dinged and out came Natasha and Bruce with four feet long bags of Cheetos and popcorn, the former quite excited to rush out into the Lounge. "We found the snacks from the pantry! Did we miss something? Did they put it in yet?" Steve winced just as Bruce blurted out those words. Tony was already heaving audibly, no air going into his lungs as he nearly collapsed on the floor if not for Natasha holding him up like she was used to it. Clint, on the other hand, had 'disgusted' written all over his face, judging every single person in the room before storming out. "OH MY GOD!!!! OH MY GAAAAA~" the screams could be heard from outside while the camera zoomed in on Natasha's face- already bored and tired.

Natasha: If they had more than one working brain cell they wouldn't have fought like twelve-year-olds in the middle of an airport and then stopped talking for a whole year. *camera pans in on her face* *faces the camera* And to think they can procreate. .

One Hour Ago Eight Hours Earlier In A Galaxy Far Away One of the camera drones stepped over a stone wall and passed over a dozen guards, buzzing its best to enter the first window it could find. Passing over ogres guarding the small galleries, another drone accompanied the first one down the maze of hallways, parting at the stairway leading down to the dungeons and up to the meeting room. The way to the dungeons was one dark path that only lit up at the very end of the hallway- few lamps burning with constant flickers. The space was divided into walls and covered with iron bars. A few of these cells were empty while others housed creatures who are only spoken about with the name of their shadows. In the last cell was a shadow that seemed similar to that of a human sleeping under the lone ragged excuse of a blanket. If one tried to focus, they could hear light snores coming out of that creature too. The drone came to rest upon one of the iron bars, sending in the live feed to the cameraman behind this whole shebang. The other fly had already found the 'throne room'. The throne- as one could make out with the setting of the hall- was made out of a tree trunk burned till all that was left was an ash-covered dead piece looking up at the sky. The seat was carved right through the middle with one of the ashened branches housing a black adder with red eyes. And in the throne sat the one person no one wanted to see. "Aellae," you mumbled in the most derogatory sense, your eyes wanting to hurt her there and then through the screen in Javier's hand. And lo! Right then the God stepped in the frame, standing in front of the witch with his usual demeanour. Well, that's what it looked like. "Why do you have to bow to her?" You whispered at him a bit viciously. White entered the frame that was recording your end. Looking at the screen he furrowed his brows and wondered how you could tell that. "He stands straight," you stressed, already sensing the question from White, "and right now he is not. And he does not not stand straight for anyone." "I see you have found yourself a fine pair of pets on your galactic travels, my love," you and White hear Aellae from the screen, bringing your attention back to her. "Just a bunch of humans and a kitten to entertain me on my way," he chuckled and shrugged a little, that Asgardian charm resurfacing in his smile. Aellae smirked at him. "On your way to where?" The question had a hint of anger even when she added a wave of curiosity, something that was easy to catch of the one who was listening to layers in her voice. Loki waved his hands in the air. "You know how it is for me. Here and there, always on the move. A nomad exploring the universe." "No more," she announced, her head high, her stare stern, "now you stay with me. You will be my advisor in the day, guiding my army to every corner of this world, with nothing to spare." She got up from her throne to walk an inhumanly seductive gait to reach the God and place her finger under his chin. "And in the night, you shall be my pacifier," she whispered, making your whole face cringe for the camera to zoom into it. "You shall satiate all my bedly desires till I the very. last. drop." Something cracked on the other side, making Javier and White turn in every direction to look at the source of the sound. Lulu too was a bit confused. You were the only person not taking your eyes away from the screen.

You: I swear to God if she was not such a bitch, I would have asked her out. Would have even gone to lengths of being her *makes air quotes* bedfellow if she was not such a fucking bitch?? Javier: *turns the camera to himself with the dazed look on his face* *signs for the camera* I am supportive and all in for this but is now really a good time for her to be questioning her sexuality? When we can literally die for just breathing wrong???

"Now," Aellae snapped everyone back to the screen, "as for those pets of yours, I'll send someone to take care of them. They are just hindrance if nothing more." "Aellae," Loki's honey laden voice was now implying a sternness. "What." "They are not to be given enough importance to be-" Loki sighed and closed his eyes- "taken care of." "All the more fun to watch them die in misery." Her eyes widened with excitement at the thought of murder. "Especially that Midgardian who is living in the illusion of being your friend." Loki's jaw tightened. "If you decide to harm h-them, I will not aid you in your irrational quests, Aellae. Going after those weaklings proves that you are still the reckless stubborn creature that I left you." There wasn't an exclamation of surprise on her face but rather that particular smirk of the devil who has walked its prey right into its trap. "So, she does mean something to you." Loki kept mum. "Guards!" she yelled for the two orcs standing outside, "bring me the head of the woman!" "Aellae, stop," he begged casually. "Enough humour." "And do whatever with the rest of her!" she ordered with her eyes piercing through Loki's soul.

The next thing you know, the last fly drone that got lost on the middle floor somewhere was recording two orcs throwing Loki into a room before shutting the door behind him. His grunts echoed through the room with no windows. All around him were walls coloured in a dusty cream shade, lamps lining up the four walls with one dressing table sitting with one of the four walls, housing heavy chains, the purpose of which Loki did not want to know. He huffed as he stood up, looking at the door before letting his gaze land on those shackles on his wrist that now seemed permanent. The tension on his jaw did not go unnoticed by the tiny roommate before he slammed those bracelets- along with his wrist- into the wall in pure animalistic rage.

Witch's Den- Down the Hall Two orcs stood guard to the entrance coming to the floor via the stairs. One of them seemed to be snoozing with all the pressure sitting on his nose and brows while the other one was trying to drive away this one stubborn fly that kept buzzing around its head. Eventually reaching the threshold of irritation, he followed the fly out towards the stairs, his curved sword being swung into the air to strike the buzzing creature; only to be taken by surprise with a bright source of light. The next thing the fly was recording was the other orc waking up to the clunk of a sword dropping, this one finding gasping and taking an attack position before the camera went dark.

But not for long.

The fly in Loki's room recorded the God catching the sounds outside while he was in the middle of surveying the whole room for an escape route. The grunts and gasps of orcs outside have stopped, making him all the more cautious to the steps that steadily approach the door. He took one of the chains in his hand, with calculated steps, walked towards the door to catch whatever tried to come in next. With the sound of a heavy key twisted inside the keyhole, the wheels turned and the door opened a smidge to let someone in. Without losing even a second, Loki wound the chain around your neck from behind you, nearly choking you. "Not now, dammit!" you choked, trying to free yourself from the hold. "Y/N?" the surprise stirring along with confusion was a new shade on Loki that you would have appreciated any other day. "Wha-what are you doing here?" That God wasn't even able to squeak on realising it was you. The chains came off as fast as they had gone around your neck, giving you room to breathe and widen your eyes in horror. "No! No no no no noooo!!"  You ran towards the door as it clunk shut, leaving you to pull at it with all your might to no avail. "The door opens from outside," you groaned with a sob, thumping your head on it with low winces before a tiny realisation hit you hard enough to stop and look back at Loki. "Ow!" He yelled at the hard slap that came for his back, looking at you in simmering confusion. "You could've waited to choke me after we got out, you fucking IDIOT!" The slaps and punches got more vigorous with each word until Loki had to gab your hands with his to stop you from wasting your energy anymore. "And what makes you think coming here was a good idea?"  He struggled to keep your writhing form from hurting itself more than him. You were ready to kick him in his shins and you would have absolutely done that if Loki had not shoved you into the wall with him towering over you to restrict any movement of your limbs. The little buzzing drone came to sit over Loki's arm and capture the frame where both of you were flaming with anger and still trying to breathe enough to keep that rage alive. "I'd already told you were on your own," he grunted, his eyes drilling through your soul. "And I'd already told you I am a psychology major. I can see the denial routine from miles away, you stupid blob of six-foot galaxy brain! You think I haven't sacrificed myself to a professor for the sake of my friends?" "...what? Wait. What do mean by sacri-" "Now get off me and find us a way out of here." You pushed him back. Well, at least you thought you did. But he pushed closer to you, shooting emotions of mild surprise in your eyes before you caught yourself slipping. Fortunately, this little drone caught everything in 4K. From the veins popping in Loki's neck to the parted lips and wavering gaze of yours. "This world is not a joke, Y/N. There was a reason you were left behind. And you have done the exact opposite of that which is supposed to keep you alive." It felt as if Loki had to restrain from spilling that anger over the rim. To make that hypothesis true, he punched the wall to dissipate this emotion he did not want to be running him. And there he stood, his head hanging above you in defeat, his eyes closed and his breath wavering. "I was supposed to send you home safe," he was barely able to mutter. The drone focused on your hands coming around his torso, your arms taking as much of his frame in a hug as possible as you softly patted his back and soothed him. Loki's body twitched a little at this new touch, still like a stone before giving in with every wave of your soothing touch. "You're family, idiot. I'm not gonna leave you behind with some crazy bitch that isn't me?" A chuckle resonated through you and then the room. The next moment when you looked at him, he was looking lighter. "Now come on, use your muscles and drill through one of these walls." Raising his good brow, he judged you while tapping his fist casually on the wall. "What exactly do you take me for?" "A cheesy brooder who's all soft inside," you commented without skipping a beat, looking around to find some kind of a loophole in this square room. "Say that outside these walls and watch what this brooder does to you." "Sounds like an invitation," you sang under your breath, tapping the walls. It took a while. A while that was long enough for you to move around the room to come and sit on the lone drawer by the wall, feeling the heat of the room bursting out the sweat in your skin, other than turning your brain into an irritated mush. You groaned while taking off your top and throwing it on the floor. You wanted to cry out loud to blow off some of the unbearable heat but stopped short at the sight of that overcoat coming off. Followed by that black shirt. Muscles. No matter how he moved or what he did, his back lived in that moment to tease you with those muscles. And what was that? Sparkles? No, sweat, glistening in the dim light. Wait, why was it glisten- You looked around and realised the lamps were at their wick's end. "Same," you sighed as you looked back at Loki's back, only to find him turned around to face you. "Oh, Gods!" you jumped down from the drawer with quite the surprise in your eyes. "This is your first time seeing me shirtless?" It almost felt like he was genuinely curious. "What? No! I don't know. That wasn't the-look!" You signalled him to come closer and let your hand hang right above the drawer's top that touched the two corners of the wall. Loki mirrored you and realised it instantly. "That's a cold breeze." He looked at you with pupils expanding wide in that dim lighting. Taking over from there, he tried his best to get a look as to which section of the wall it was coming from. "There's an opening-" he immediately shifted his position to standing parallel to the length of the wall, his hands grounded on the varnished top- "we will have to either pull it-" he tried his best but the structure did not budge- "or push it towards the opening in that section." You got to work as well, standing next to him and giving your end of the small corner a good push that only ended up in failed grunts. "Okay, let's try another way," you inhaled, "I'll push the top, you be the bottom."

The drone was sitting on the drawer now, capturing all those failed attempts from every angle both of you thought possible before you nearly collapsed due to lack of air. "We're are clearly doing something wrong here," Loki huffed, his puffed-up chest, the centre of the camera's frame. You flipped your wet hair to show your tired face in the lone lamp that burned in the room. "There weren't any more of those BDSM chains inside it, were there?" Loki's breathing stopped for a moment. You looked at him for an answer. Both of you moved to open the drawers. The drone captured the disappointment in your own IQ in high definition before watching you both taking them out with nothing but pure spite. "Take a break, I'll try-" "No," you shook your head and wiped the forehead sweat, "let's do it together." Loki wanted you to stop but that you gave him was more than adequate to let anyone know you won't listen right now. "This time you stand behind me and let's use the wall behind as a supp....ort? Wait how is this room looking shorter?" You were looking around in dazed confusion while Loki closed his eyes. "It's not a normal room. Those two walls will keep closing in until..." He didn't have to say more. "Well, then what are we waiting for?" the drop of panic in your high pitched voice was evident as you positioned yourself- putting your palms on the edge. "Come on." Loki came to stand behind you, copying your position, just a bit more charismatically- and with a bit more skin- till he felt your hair come into his mouth. "One, two, three!" This time the push did budge the drawer chest a bit but your strength had been used for that movement of a centimetre. Your breaths almost felt like your lungs were on the verge of crying. "Again," you panted, wiping the sweat beads from your forehead while positioning your hands on a surface where the drone was seemingly recording you from. Loki looked at your back, clearly concerned. This time he used his hand to remove those clammy hair strands coming in his way before both arms mimicked your position and came to rest on either side of your arms. "Are you sure?" Loki's voice, breathless and heavy, questioned you with sincerity while his body did not budge from behind you. You nodded. "Again." The frame caught you adjusting your hips to position your butt right with his front- something that was not covered by the camera. He towered over you, adjusting to your height while grounded his arms on the surface. "Okay then," he whispered, taking one arm to move your butt a little closer to your frame before going back to anchor himself to the surface, "here we go." Both of you had your eyes stuck on the wall with a fiery gaze and an aura that would have burned this place to the ground. His muscles tried to take all that you could not. And just when the grunts were turning into screams, the drawer started to move from its place with a screeching noise. As soon as Loki noticed a decent enough opening in the wall to your and his side, he pushed you and himself in through the opening before the death walls came for your limbs. The drone fly followed. Both of you rolled through what seemed like a tunnel slide through the walls for a minute till that just did not seem to end. It did end though. It ended in a noisy fall of thuds and groans- you on top of him. "You okay?" you winced through your broken voice, not moving a muscle for the fear of breaking something. Also because it was awkward lying over him on your stomach. Loki replied with a quick wince. A ruffle came from next to you. Followed by a lazy groan.  Your head turned to the noise. So did Loki's.  "You two could have easily waited for another hour." The drone swerved around to bonk into the one that was already there, covering the dungeons. There under the rugged blanket, laid Carol Danvers, looking at the two of you with sleepy eyes. Neither of you knew what to say. She looked at her watch and put her head inside the blanket again. "Five more minutes."

[mackeydoodledoo]

Inferno

Pairing: Sylvie Brett x Quinn Maxs (Fem! Paramedic)

Summary: You’re living life with Firehouse 51. But, you begin to feel feelings for your Paramedic-in-charge; Sylvie Brett. You don’t know how to tell her, understanding the history of her past relationships. Most of all, you don’t want her seeing you differently, should you tell her. You only told your fellow paramedic; Gianna Mackey and your best friend and firefighter; Stella Kidd. However, you beg them both to not tell Brett. However, once Hermann’s fill-in comes in, you believe you’ve waited too long to tell Brett how you really feel about her.

Warning: Chicago Fire Season 9 Episode 9: Escape Route spoilers

A/N: Quinn Maxs is my OC for Chicago Fire! Enjoy my first Sylvie Brett imagine!!

Theme: “MAYDAY” - coldrain/Ryo (Fire Force Opening 2)

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As you close your locker and bid Hermann a farewell and to enjoy his vacation you pass by Brett, but a familiar face.... Grainger.... 

"Hey, I remember you, Y/n Y/l/n right?" He asks, smiling 

Hiding your emotions well, you casually salute three fingers to him before hearing the alarm go off. 

"Engine 51, Truck 81, Squad 3, Ambulance 61, structure fire," 

As you heard the address you head to 61 to deploy for the call. 

"Hey why don't you ride shotgun Y/l/N," Mackey suggests, smiling 

"Sure, thanks Mackey," you say, opening the passenger side door 

"Mackey wanted to ride back?" Sylvie asks 

"Yeah, I guess so," you sigh, not looking at her 

"Hey, are you alright? You've seemed to be moping for a little bit." Sylvie asks 

"Oh I'm fine, a little tired. Lack of sleep," You lie 

You were kind of accurate but also very inaccurate. You realized when Sylvie and Grainger were flirting before the call. 

"Tell you what, why not tonight after shift I treat you to Molly's?" She suggests 

"You sure?" You ask 

"Totally," Brett smiles 

81, Squad 3 and 61 arrive at the fire. You notice Grainger giving orders out already however, Casey angrily tells him to wait for his orders. Both you and Sylvie watch that unfold but you think nothing of it as Casey is Captain. But you're assuming 40 doesn't have a captain. 

After the call, 61 running a severely burned mother to Med, you voluntarily hopped in the back, to avoid Brett seeing your emotions become unfolded. Although they could hear you, you were crying on the inside. 

Brett's POV "Hey Mackey do you think Y/l/n is okay?" She asks 

"What makes you think that?" Mackey replies back 

"On our way to the call earlier she wasn't very talkative like she usually is," she says, "I just wanna know if she's talked to you about anything." 

"Nope, she's been quiet about that," Mackey says

Y/n’s POV You lay down on your bed in the quiet area of 51, contemplating life choices. With a handful of Med runs n such, nothing happened out of the ordinary. 

"You doing okay kid?" Stella comes over 

"Well aside from my jealousy of Grainger easily wooing Brett, I'm fine," you sigh 

"You need to tell her before anything happens Y/n," she replies, "You're going to regret it once you decide to tell her when its too late." 

"She is inviting me out to Molly's after shift if that means anything.." you say 

"That’s the perfect time to do it" Stella smiles before walking away

Once the end of shift came and you make your leave. You try to avoid Brett as much as possible. 

"Y/l/n!" Brett calls 

You silently sigh to yourself but put on a happy face for her. 

"You ready to go love?" She asks, slinging her arm around yours as she drags you along 

"For sure," you force a smile 

"Hey why don't you join us later, once your done with inventory?" Sylvie suggests to Grainger 

"I'd love to," Grainger smiles 

On the inside you were freaking out. But you also believed this was the time to tell her, as Stella says. 

"Have you been doing okay y/l/n? You're not as talkative as you usually are," Sylvie asks 

"Just a long day, like I said this morning Brett, I have had a lack of sleep," you sigh, "Hey I'm gonna get a drink from Stella do you want anything?" 

"Just a beer," Sylvie smiles 

You smile back, you realize that's the first time you've smiled around Brett. 

"Have you told her yet Y/n?” Stella asks, coming over to you 

"No," you sigh, "I don't know. You are right by telling her now but I’m just so-" 

You notice Stella looking over your shoulder, "Grainger is there isn't he?..." 

Stella nods, "Sorry Y/n." 

"Two beers," you request, "Might as well be a peace offering." 

"Are you gonna stick around?" She asks 

"I'm just gonna give them the beers and pretty much lie," you say, "Hey, I'll text you if anything happens." 

Stella nods, in approval to your plan. She walks over and gets the beers. You slip her a $10 tip. 

"Half of it is working in a full house, the other is... Well, being my Partner in Crime," you smile as you shake off your sadness and force a smile onto your face as you put the beers between the two supposed lovebirds. 

"For me?" Grainger smiles 

"That's a thanks for today, Welcome to 51," You forcefully smile 

My god I want to leave! You begin to feel an inferno build up inside of you. You wanted to punch him in the face but that would not look good on a report. 

"Hey, I just remembered I left something at the station. I'm going to run and go grab it and I’m gonna call it a night," you lie, "see you later Boss." 

You take your jacket and your helmet and make your leave, putting on your helmet and then gloves. You first make your stop to your apartment, which wasn't too far from Molly's. Grabbing a backpack that would be big enough to store clothes in and essentials. You leave everything clean. As if no one was there. You make haste getting out of your apartment and to your motorcycle, making another leave.

You knock on the door to Boden's office. Which he looks up and greets you how he always does. 

"Chief I need to talk to you, if you have a minute," you say, sitting in a chair 

"What is it Y/l/n?" He asks 

"I know you’re probably not one to listen to somebody's relationship life but um.." You stammer, figuring out how to tell him, "I don't know who else to turn to but only two other people know; Mackey and Kidd. I told them-I told them I really like Brett. However, I’m beginning to see her attraction towards our fill-in Lieutenant; Grainger. But the point is, I'm beginning to feel jealous. On the call this morning I was barely in it until either Mackey or Brett brought me back. I'm not sure if I've ever requested to take time off work. But, I feel that this is the time to. I don't want my emotions getting the best of me again Chief." 

"Who else knows about this kind of request?" Boden asks 

"Just you and me sir," you reply 

"I appreciate the heads up Y/l/n and I appreciate your need to work with your emotions," he says, "How long do you want me to make you absent for?" 

"One month," you request 

"That's um... That's quite a big request Y/l/n," He sighs 

"I understand that completely Chief, but Brett and Mackey are doing an excellent job as a two-person Ambo team, I strongly believe they can do the work in my absence," you say 

"If you strongly believe it then so do I," He says, adjusting something on his laptop, "Is there anything else you need?" 

"Yes," You sigh, "Don't tell Brett anything of what I told you in this moment. I don't want her feeling guilt over this when she and Mackey have lives to save. But if she does happen to ask, just tell her that I have a family emergency. If-if that's too much I can-" 

"It's okay Y/l/n," Boden says, "Go clear your head." 

"Thanks Chief," you smile, making your exit

You stop at a gas station to fill up on your motorcycle and eat before your long drive. As you wait for the gas to fill your tank, you hold your phone up to your ear. 

"Hey, Stella, it's me," you start 

"Hey kid. You doing okay? What's the update?" She asks 

"Well, I first went to my apartment to get some things. I then went to the station and requested the Chief for some days off." You say 

"How long?" She asks 

"A month," you say 

"A MON- oh, sorry. A month?" Stella says 

"Yeah," you say, "I told Boden that Brett and Mackey and manage without me. It's not like I'm leaving 51." 

"That's true," Stella sighs 

"Hey, can you pass the word to Mackey too? I told her about this whole thing too," you say, "But neither of you tell Brett. I'm not having her feel guilty over this. This is for me." 

"Got it kid, I gotta get back to work. Call me if you wanna talk at all," Stella says 

"Noted, bye." You say, hanging up the phone as the gas had just filled up 

As you pull off into a parking spot, you make another call. 

"Hey, it's me," you smile, "Do you have any space in your house for me to stay in for now? You do? Okay, I'll be there in... God, 3-4 hours. Pull off into a hotel for the night? No, I'm good thanks. I'll make the drive. So long as I'm not in the city anymore. Thanks man, I'll try to keep you posted." 

You put your helmet back on and set up your maps into the destination and ride off into the night. Though, you really only made stops at 24-hour gas stations.

Brett's POV The next morning at 51, Brett comes into the station right next to Grainger however, split once they go to their respective engines. 

"Hey where's Y/l/n?" Sylvie asks Mackey when she noticed she's not in the ambo 

"Family emergency," Mackey replies, clearly lying 

"Oh... She didn't tell me," Brett sighs 

"She was in a rush, she only figured out last night," Mackey adds 

She walks over to Stella, "Hey did Y/l/n tell you-" 

"She has a family emergency," Stella says, exactly the same story as Mackey 

"She told you too?" Brett asks, "How come she didn't tell me?" 

Stella looks at Brett, feeling bad she has to lie to her best friend. However, it was for the best for both you and Brett. 

"Who didn't tell you what?" Grainger comes up behind Brett and hugs her 

"One of my paramedics had a family emergency and didn't tell me," Brett says 

"Well let's not worry about that right now," Grainger smiles as he gives Brett a cheek kiss 

"If you guys kiss I’m gonna puke," Stella gags as she walks to the common room, Mackey following

Stella's POV "You're doing a great job Mackey," Kidd says, high-fiving her 

"I'd never tell someone's personal info, unless they told me I could. This isn't one of those times," Mackey smiles 

"Engine 51, Truck 81, Squad 3, Ambulance 61, Battalion 25, multiple hostile situation at 600 E Grand Ave, Chicago, IL 60611" 

"That's Navy Pier," Stella realizes

51 deploys to the coordinates that are set in and by the time they get there, different firehouses and police stations are lined at the entrance. 

"Voight, talk to me," Boden demands as he walks with them 

"Seems like there's more than one perpetrator in this situation," Voight explains, "No casualties thus far, but possible injuries."

Y/n's POV As you get yourself some coffee you pull up the Chicago news radio on your phone. 

"This just in, a multiple hostage situation is currently happening at Navy Pier. All civilians near the vicinity must evacuate immediately." The news reporter explains, "All CPD departments and multiple CFD houses are here at the scene. 

"Sounds like one crazy adventure," your sister says, "glad your home and away from that." 

"Sis, I'm worried," you sigh 

"Is it about that Brett girl?" She asks, "forget her. She's missing one hell of an opportunity." 

"Thing is I don't know if she's Bisexual." You state 

"Even if she is and still sees you differently, she's missing out on a cool little sister," she says, messing up your hair, "I have to head out for work, if you're going out just lock the door and you remember where the spare key is?" 

"I do sis," you smile 

"See you later," she smiles and she closes the door 

You turn back to your phone for the love broadcast of the situation back across Lake Michigan. Your sister was pretty much right on the edge of Michigan, great view of the lake. However, you look out to the window and hope, your house is doing okay. You wish you saw the situation happen from right across it but it was too wide for you to see it happen with your eyes. You sigh, wishing you could leave already. However, you realize your sister has a power boat. You quickly write down a note saying you'll be back and that you're borrowing her power boat. With no sailing experience, turnout gear or medic supplies. Only your bag and communicator, you rush out the door.

"Where's Y/l/n?!" Brett demands Mackey 

"Brett you're so blind, Y/n is so into you!" Stella says, blurring out, "She left because she didn't want you to press her into talking to you about it. She didn't want you to see her any different if she told you. Let alone questioning if you like girls and you're beginning to go with hot-shot Grainger over there, so she wanted to get her mind off of her emotions." 

Brett stands there, dumbfounded. Why didn't you tell her. 

"Stella!" You call into your walkie 

"Y/n?" Stella calls back 

"On your six!" You say, smiling, "can't stay away." 

She runs up to you and gives you a big bear hug. 

"Listen up 51, I'm no commanding officer but I do sure know the place on the back of my hand. Captain Casey and Chief Boden... With your permission may I give the orders?" You ask through the walkie 

"Yes ma'am," Casey answers 

"What's your plan Y/l/n?" Chief Boden asks

"Okay, I scouted the perimeter and there's only, assuming they're away from the windows. Squad 3 you take the Northside, you try to get CPD officers into the building to clear the field for you. Engine 51, to Grainger with any room you have, get your hoses ready should any form of fire start. Truck 81, if shots are fired, move in, get as many civilians out as you can. I'll move in with you guys and give extra arms to help." You announce 

You take a giant breath as you finish out your speech. Stella, Brett and Mackey look at you in awe as you've never taken initiative before. 

"Y/l/n, I thought I have you on vacation," Boden comes up to you, "And you're not usually one to give orders." 

"Apparently can't stay away sir," you sigh, adjusting your belt, "And I know this place all too well." 

"Very well Y/l/n," Boden smiles, "You heard the lady men." 

You watch Squad 3 and follow Truck 81 as you meet up with Burgess and Ruzek. 

"You're gonna need this," Burgess heads you a 9 milimeter 

"Thanks..." you say, taking it and concealing it 

You hear screaming and gunshots. And hear a blaze begin. 

"Grainger fire! I don't know where it is! Find it!" You demand 

"You got it kid," he says 

"Move in!" The muffled walkie screams as you, along with 81, Burgess, Ruzek and many other CPD officers barge into the building, ringing shots, killing nearly all the perpetrators. 

"Hey kiddo it's okay it's okay," you tell her, checking for any signs of injury 

"Y/l/n!" Kim yells, you immediately shield the kid as a shot rings out 

You let out a strangled scream as your arm is bleeding; a severe gunshot wound. It didn't go into your skin and damage your bone however, the bullet made a real "good" indent in your skin as it rang out. Kim pulls the trigger on her glock 17 and kills the guy immediately. Kim helps you cover your wound as you still hold onto the kid, hoping any parental unit would claim her. 

"Mommy," the girl cries 

You turn over and see the mom, on the ground. You hand the kid over to Kim as you go to help Severide and Casey. You all get her onto the board to get her to 61. 

"Brett, Mackey need the Ambo ready," you speak into your walkie 

"Hey Burgess, you can let the girl into the ambo," you say as she helps the little girl into the back 

"Aren't you coming with us?" Brett asks 

"Can't, I have to take my sisters' power boat back across Lake Michigan," you sigh, "My sister is a doctor over at her local hospital, I'll drive myself over there." 

"You're gonna bleed out, you need to get to med," Brett demands, calmly 

"I can take care of myself Brett, don't worry about me I'll be fine." You say, trying to walk away 

"Y/n!" Brett yells your first name

You never heard Brett call you by your first name. You shake it off before settling back to your stoic self.

"Let me go, please," you say calmly, "I'm only gone for a month." 

"Did you tell Stella and Mackey to lie to me?" She asks you 

"I didn't want you worrying about me," you sigh, "Besides, I'm going to be fine." 

She lets go of you as you walk back to your sisters boat. She felt tears welding into her eyes. 

"Brett, we gotta go," Mackey calls out 

Mackey shuts the doors as Brett hops into the driver's seat and activates the sirens. 

You arrive to your sisters workplace as a nurse rushes over to you. 

"What happened?!" She asks 

"Zoomed across Lake Michigan and helped my firehouse, but unfortunately I got grazed," you sigh 

"Y/n?!" Your sister calls out to you, "oh my god Y/n you took my power boat?!" 

You nod, "They needed my help." 

"You have never changed," she laughs, "I can check you out."

Once your sister had stitched up your wound she discharged you from the hospital. Once you get back to your sisters place, you open your Chicago news app. The first article that comes up is the one from earlier. 

"Firehouse 51 paramedic makes a chief-status plan while on this call today," The news reporter says, "According to 51s' Captain Matt Casey, it was an astounding plan. Girl's a hero." 

You sigh as you don't really feel like a hero, just another day as a paramedic.

Your sister comes home late at night however, doesn't find you anywhere. 

"Called Chief Boden and told him I changed my mind on my one month vacation, I'm heading back to 51 right now." Your sister read aloud, "Bought you something that’s in the fridge for taking care of me for a short time."

You park your motorcycle in one of the street parking slots as you keep your helmet on for secrecy. Without knowing it was you, Brett walks past you. Once you get to your locker, you try to make a quick haste to get yourself ready. 

"In a rush?" Stella smiles 

She comes up to you and gives you a big bear hug. 

"Missed you kid," she smiles 

Before you could say anything else you hear arguing from afar. You and Stella go to the garage and notice Brett and Grainger arguing. 

"So you led me on?" He asks 

"Not exactly, I wasn't aware of Quinn's feelings and I wasn't sure how to process it," Brett starts, "I just-" 

"Just what Sylvie?" He asks, angrily 

You notice she's beginning to falter. 

"Y/n left, and for what?" He asks her, "She isn't a Lieutenant, Captain, or Chief! What makes her so special?! I don't think you made the right choice of making her on your paramedic team. How are YOU even the paramedic-in-charge?" 

You've had enough, "HEY!" 

They both turn to you, Brett almost crying years of joy. You place a gentle hand onto her shoulder, reassuring her that you'll settle this. 

"You have NO RIGHT to question her position as Paramedic-in-Charge Mr. Hot shot Lieutenant." You spat in his face 

He was about to open his mouth to say something else, but closes it when you give him the look of: 'oh I'm not done mister!'. 

"She’s one of the GREATEST PICs I have ever worked with in my years of being in the Fire Department service. She’s one of the VERY few, that I am honored to be working with, one I come to know and love." You continue, "You question that position? And for what? The most beautiful Paramedic is beginning to question herself and what SHE wants? No, one should always be supportive. No matter what, you should leave my guy." 

"Hate to tell you rookie, I'm not leaving yet," he tries to sound smug 

"Oh you're leaving alright buddy," Hermann says, walking into the firehouse 

He doesn't say anything else but give you one last look of disgust before leaving. You let out a breath of relief. Stella and Mackey applaud for you. 

"You stood up for me?" Brett asks, looks at you, "Don't you hate me for hurting you?" 

"Brett," you smile, "I never did hate you. I left so I could clear my head." 

She smiles as she hugs you, "my god oh how I've missed you." 

Your head drops down and rests on Brett's shoulder for your head to be cradled. 

"I'm sorry Sylvs," you call her by her nickname, "You remember how I used to act... I didn't want that happening again." 

"You could've just talked to me love," Brett whispers

After shift you head over to Molly's with Stella. 

"How's your arm kid?" She asks 

"Hurts but my sister stair to be careful, and then just have someone at med undo the stitches." You say 

"That's good, that's good," Stella states, "You know, Brett was worried sick on that call this morning." 

"Really?" You ask, leaning in towards Stella 

"Speak of the Devil, there she is," Stella smiles, waving her over 

"You look great Quinn," Brett smiles 

"You look beautiful Sylvs," you smile back, sipping your whiskey 

Stella looks at you, a look you know too well. That says, "go get your girl!" 

You make fun if her look and then turn your attention to Brett. 

"So Brett, how you been doing the last couple of days?" You ask 

"Worrying about you," she sighs 

You nearly choke on your drink as that though has never crossed your mind. You only thought that Sylvie had eyes for Grainger. Of all people, she worries about you.

“Really?” You ask, clearing your throat, “Why’s that?”

“you didn’t talk to me before heading off to your sister’s,” She says, “Also for telling Stella and Mackey to lie to me.”

“I didn’t want you to worry about me,” You say, “I wasn’t about to have my emotions get the best of me again.”

“You remember last time?” Sylvie asks

“Of course I do,” You say

“Do you want to get out of here?” Sylvie asks, “I know you don’t want that kind of thing to be talked about in public.”

“Sure,” You smile

You get a glance at Stella and she gives you a face of ‘go get your woman girl!’

Once the both of you reach your apartment, you follow Sylvie into hers.

“Remember that time I helped you calm down?” She finally asks

You nod, “I never did.”

“As soon as I touched you, you instantly calmed down,” She explains, “So, if what happened between us the other night affected your emotions, how come you didn’t tell me sooner?”

“Because I wasn’t sure if you were also into girls,” You confess, “You’re THE Sylvie Brett, one of the greatest people I’ve come to know and love in my life. And I’m just... Me... A paramedic with anger issues.”

“And I love you,” Sylvie confesses

Realizing what she had just said to you made her cheeks heat up. You look at her the same way. You gently press her against the doorframe to her room and place your lips along hers, building that inferno in your heart that burns for her.

[bluejaywriter]

Anyway, here’s my How To Fix WW84 in 42 scenes (or less) list:

BTW, this is a very long post. It is a whole movie :P

1. Delete the first scene with the Amazons and have the opening credits be over the 80s montage. I KNOW, but trust me.

2. Mall robbery scene goes normally, but like... less clunky. And there’s a bop playing in the background because it’s the 80s.

3. When Diana comes back, she’s wearing her armor underneath her jacket; have a shot of her hanging it up in her closet, and pieces of the Golden Armor are displayed nearby. She has dinner by herself, and looks lonely. 

4. Diana meets Barbara, and it’s the same, but if she needs something “human”, how about she walks with a cane instead of being clumsy in heels because it may be 1984, but it’s also 2020 :P (also Rucka’s Rebirth run literally has her walking with a cane??) And a girlfriend

5. They bond over the FBI artifacts from the mall robbery, Barbara’s studying something that will be important on an expedition later (a map?), but it’s not like. Placement. It’s just buried in the list of things they’re looking at. Also Barbara is smart and also knows Latin and Diana is impressed.

6. They go to dinner (and there’s a bop playing in the background) and Barbara asks what made her get into archeology, and Diana is vague, and Diana asks what made her get into archeology, and Barbara is also vague, but says she’s always loved ancient civilizations and things. No one asks about anyone’s love life. :P

7. Diana walks Barbara home. Diana asks if she’s in pain (the cane), and she says no, and then it’s never mentioned again because it’s 2020. Also there are no drunk creeps, and no amiable homeless black guys, because… euuuurgh.

8. There’s a scene with another version of the map (or not a map), and a faceless somebody having a vague, Villainy conversation about it (and not Dr. Poison faceless, just... we don’t see their face, lol).

9. Barbara gets to work early and finds out she has to give a tour to Maxwell “The Oil Guy” Lord. This scene goes as normal, and he insists they both come tonight to the gala he’s hosting for the museum at his house. Diana thinks galas are stupid, but she plays along because she wants to keep Barbara away from Max she can tell Barbara wants to go she wants to protect Barbara.

10. Insert artistic shots of Diana’s office here. Basically ancient artifact porn. Show us the cool stuff, God.

11. Diana looks irritated/confused about something and is flipping through books (although computers did exist in 1984, right? Right?). Barbara comes in asking if Diana wants to go shopping for the gala, and Diana asks if she still has the FBI artifacts, and Barbara says yeah, why. Diana says she just wants to check something later, then they go shoe shoppingggggg

12. Diana does all the things the store attendant does. Dialogue, facial expressions, everything. Harold they’re lesbi—

13. Barbara asks if she wants to share a cab to the party, but Diana has to put out a wildfire or something, and says she’ll meet her there.

14. Action scene fire-putting out that somehow relates to a moment later in the movie. Diana can’t save a cat stuck in a tree

15. There’s a shot of Diana stepping out of the burning forest and looking out over the sea, and there are burning embers falling around her, and the sun is setting, and it’s beautiful dammit. And then she remembers she has a date, and she smells like a wildfire, and the music comes in because this was the best scene in the real movie.

15. Gala scene. Entrances and music are perfect, change nothing except man creeps are like… more subtle? And more insidious/Mr. Nice Guy, sure. Diana finds Barbara Ann, and she mentions that she hasn’t drunk/partied like this since college, because she’s a confident woman who can drink, dammit.

16. Pedro Pascal invites Barbara up for a drink, and Diana is prepared to come along uninvited, but there’s an invite for her, too.

17. The three main actors from this movie actually get to hang out together and bond like atoms because they have serious chemistry. Max is a bit of a douche at first, but he relaxes after a bit of goofing off. Diana asks him about the pictures on the wall of his son, and he says he’s the smartest boy in his school, and his goal every day is to make his son proud of him. Barbara Ann (who is slightly drunk) mentions that her father didn’t want her to become a scientist, and they swap horrible Dad stories for 45 seconds. 

18. Diana’s Horrible Dad Story: “My mother never told me his name.”

19. Pedro Pascal mentions that he’s putting together a team for a dig (Apparently they dug up some stuff while he was looking for oil) and he wants Barbara Ann to lead the expedition. 

20. Barbara Ann wants Diana in her team don’t we all. Pedro Pascal pretends to be surprised and delighted by this idea. There’s a shot of his happy face disappearing once the girls leave.

21. Diana goes to find the FBI artifact she’d been wondering about (it’s after the gala, so it’s dark in the museum), and it’s gone.

22. They fly to the dig, and everyone has their passports, and Kristen Wiig does not reprise her Bridesmaids airplane scene, but she can mention that it was nice of Max Lord to put them in first class. It’s also the 80s, so flying looks like whatever flying looked like in the 80s (more leg room? :P) Also, there’s a bop playing in the flying montage. 

23. They get to the dig (in a helicopter), and a bunch of diverse people introduce themselves, because we have to have diversity somewhere in here, it’s 2020.

24. Barbara Ann gets to work, and Diana goes exploring because she’s the main character and doesn’t need to work. She sees a temple/palace further up the island, and it looks like there’s smoke coming out of the courtyard, but she’s called back for dinner before she can go see. The other people tell her the building is abandoned.

25. Diana goes later that night to see, and it is abandoned and there’s lots of animal bones lying around and weird symbols on the walls and it’s creepy AF. But there are other things (pottery?) that remind her of Themyscira, and there’s a flash of a memory from an Amazon feast, and she sees Antiope laughing with a group of Amazons because we need a Robin Wright cameo, and then a hard cut to—

26. Barbara Ann comes to find Diana sitting on the edge of the cliff looking over the ocean, and she asks if she’s jetlagged too, and she says no, just homesick. She tells Barbara Ann that she grew up on an island, and after she left, she spent years trying to move on and assimilate into the new world, but she kept finding things that reminded her of her homeland, and she finally accepted that she should be proud of who she is and where she’s from. Barbara Ann says she should never be ashamed of her true self and then they kiss

27. In the morning, there’s a dig montage, and a bop playing in the background. Diana pretends that heavy things are heavy. They find Diana’s golden helmet and other scraps of the golden armor and a bunch of other stuff so then it’s not conspicuous, and then there’s a tsunami/hurricane, and the rest of the crew dies or evacuates or something. It’s dramatic, and Diana and Barbara almost drown, except Diana is Wonder Woman. 

28. The two of them end up heading up to the abandoned building for shelter, and it looks sturdy, and the animal bones are gone, which is weird, but it’s dry, so Diana tells Barbara Ann to sleep while she takes the first watch. Barbara Ann says this isn’t the worst night she’s spent on the job.

29. Diana falls asleep and has a dream of this building in its heyday, and there’s an Amazon feast, and Diana wanders through the dream looking sad, and Hippolyta stands up to give a toast and is shouting about their guest of honor, the Princess from—

30. And then Diana wakes up, Barbara Ann is gone, and it’s full daylight, and there’s no sign of the storm or their camp. Diana hears a sound and goes to investigate likes she’s in a horror movie or something, and it takes her to stairs that lead underground, and she realizes that the tunnels match the map from the FBI (this is too convenient, but whatever, this is the first draft okay :P).

31. Maxwell Lord is sitting on a folding chair (or a couch!) in the cave at the end of the tunnel, and he’s surrounded by animals in cages. Diana recognizes some of the animals from the bones she saw earlier, because why not. He says that he brought Diana and Barbara Ann here to settle some old scores. Diana thinks for a minute that he’s Ares or something, and he says not MY old scores. 

32. And then Diana is attacked by a Cheetah (why not), and she’s not wearing her armor, but she can fight in her indiana jones outfit, and it’s kind of a lame fight (dark, realistic, no slow-mo), and she re-cages the animal pretty easily, and THEN she’s surrounded by the blurriness like she’s dreaming (bad, but it’s the first draft, okay), and Eva Green’s voice says some villainy things about is this how she treats her friends and she’s just like her mother—

33. And then Diana realizes that Barbara Ann is the Cheetah, and there’s a montage of her falling into Circe’s trap and being turned into a Cheetah, and then a scene of Pedro Pascal’s son being kidnapped while they’re on rich people vacation and being turned into a gerbil, and transformations of a bunch of explorers and warriors from over the years getting turned into animals (including Asteria), and then a scene of Circe being banished from the Amazons and not being allowed to return to (old) Themyscira.

34. Circe isn’t actually in the tunnel, but in the fog sequence, she talks to Diana through a mirror and occasionally morphs into Diana’s reflection, because she’s magic, and that’s creepy.

35. After the fog is over, and Diana’s wearing the Golden Armor because we need to sell toys, and then there’s ACTUAL fight with Cheetah, and a bop (Sebastian Böhm’s “Sweet Dreams are Made of This”) is playing in the background, and this time there are actual stakes because Diana doesn’t want to hurt her. And it’s like, the Cheetah and Wonder Woman fight from Rucka’s run, okay. Cheetah says this is her true self and to leave her alone, and Diana says no, this isn’t you.

36. Diana breaks Circe’s curse with true love’s kiss. Diana breaks Circe’s the curse with the lasso and a speech about love, and it turns out the Cheetah form is held back by the lasso, so Diana lets her keep it. 

37. Pedro Pascal gets his son back and it actually makes sense for him to run out from the bushes. He apparently doesn’t remember anything about Circe.

38. A helicopter comes to get them, and Diana is uneasy, because there’s a third movie, but she leaves and there’s a bop playing, because this is the end of the second movie.

39. Diana adds the helmet and the rest of the armor to her collection in her closet. 

40. Barbara Ann now has to tell the truth all the time because she’s wearing the lasso all the time. This is terrible, but the movie plays it off as amusing. 

41. Diana promises to find help for Barbara Ann, and they kiss

42. I guess the mid credits scene with Asteria can still happen. She could clean up after herself though, lol. A possible end credits scene is Diana finding the lasso on her work desk and Barbara Ann’s desk cleared out, but that’s kind of a bitter ending, and the lesbian ending is nicer.

In the third movie, Diana tries to find Themyscira and Circe is the main villain and maybe Cheetah comes back. Boom.

[wordsysayswords]

Someone needs to put down a wet floor sign because Tucker’s pretty sure his heart has melted into a puddle around his shoes.

Or, Tucker gets to see Wash interact with children, including Junior, for the first time ever and, to quote Grif, he's so fucked.

--

Merry Christmas @washingtubb!  I hope you enjoyed this fluffy Blue Team bonding with just a pinch of Tuckington thrown in for good measure. Thanks for being so patient with this fic getting posted. @redvsbluesecretsanta

--

“Have you guys seen Junior?” Tucker asks, poking his head into the common room.

Carolina, who is sat perfectly still on the couch and in the process of having her long hair braided by three children, glances Tucker’s way without turning her head.

“He was with Caboose’s group earlier,” she says, blowing a stray strand of hair out of her face. “In the mess hall.”

“Yeah, apparently they got told to leave because Grif tried to organize the kids into storming the kitchen. The things that guy will do for chocolate pudding.”

“BLARG!” Cries one of the twin Sangheili infants in Carolina’s lap. She rubs the alien’s back soothingly and raises an eyebrow at Tucker in a silent question.

“She’s ready for a nap,” Tucker translates.

There haven’t been a whole lot of opportunities for Tucker to exercise his Sangheili conversation skills on Chorus. That all changed two days ago when a ship full of Sangheili and human refugees landed, fleeing their own war-ravaged planet halfway across the galaxy. They had received Epsilon’s message and come seeking help because the reported conditions on their planet made Chorus seem like an idyllic paradise. Among the refugees were an almost comical number of children, outnumbering the adults six to one. The situation became a lot less funny when you realized 80 percent of the children were orphans.

“Here,” Tucker says, pulling out his datapad and selecting a playlist of classic Sangheili nursery rhymes. “They’ll recognize these. Puts ‘em right to sleep. You’ll have the songs stuck in your head for days, though.”

“Thanks for the warning.” Carolina gives a crooked smile as she accepts the datapad. “Can’t be worse than the crap Wash listens to.”

“Speaking of Wash, any idea where he’s hiding?”

Carolina cocks her head—as much as she can considering one of the aliens curled up against her shoulder is batting at her braid like a particularly curious cat. The kids finish up on her hair, and a little boy passes Carolina a pink hand mirror. Tucker bites his lip to keep from laughing as the Freelancer turns her head this way and that, inspecting the no less than eight messy braids sticking off her head at ridiculous angles.

“Looks great,” Carolina whispers, causing the kids to giggle and blush.

She turns her attention back to Tucker. “What makes you think Wash is hiding?”

“I don’t know, have you seen what it’s like out there?” Tucker asks, gesturing towards a window overlooking the track where groups of kids are playing frisbee or jumping rope, supervised by the lieutenants. “I’m having trouble keeping up, and I’m a dad!”

“Eh,” Carolina shrugs, “you’d be surprised.” She looks around at the cluster of children, “Do you remember our deal?”

The kids nod excitedly.

“If we take a nap, you’ll show us how to punch good!” A girl with wilting daisies woven into her hair punches the air, beaming.

Carolina raises an eyebrow. “And the rule?”

“Only in s-self, um,” lisps the boy missing his two front teeth, “s-self defenssse!”

“That’s right,” Carolina says, tapping the datapad. Plucky music starts to play as the kids curl up on the couch. She looks over at Tucker.

“Try the barracks,” she tells him. “They might have gone to get Caboose’s crayons and coloring books.”

“Thanks,” Tucker says, tossing a salute her way as he backs out the door. “Let me know if you need another teacher for punching class.”

“Sure thing. Watch out for—”

“HONK BLARG!”

A dark shape shoots out from under the couch and latches on to Tucker’s leg before he has time to blink.

“Holy fu—” Tucker catches himself. “Fudgsicles. Holy fudgsicles. Definitely what I was going to say. Right, little buddy?”

The small Sangheili wrapped around his leg hoots happily and starts gnawing on his boot laces.

“I think she’s teething,” Carolina explains. “Her brother is with Caboose’s group. Mind taking her with you?”

“No problem,” Tucker says, lifting his foot to get a better look at the alien. “And what’s your name, champ?”

“Firo 'Srattin,” yawns the little girl draped over Carolina’s shoulder.

“Strattin,” muses Tucker. “Good, strong clan name. Well, come on, Firo. Let’s go find your brother.”

“Say goodbye to Captain Tucker,” Carolina tells the children. A chorus of honks and goodbyes follows the teal soldier out of the room.

In the hall, Tucker looks down at his passenger. She’s given up on his laces and is now digging through his cargo pants pocket looking for snacks.

“All right,” Tucker says. “Which way should we try first, hm?”

Firo sniffs the air for a moment before pointing down the hall. “BLARG!”

“The barracks? Good choice. Let’s roll out, soldier.”

It ends up being a long walk to the barracks—and not just because Tucker has a honking deadweight wrapped around one leg.

Passing the empty lot behind the mess hall, he and Firo walk past the Reds organizing a game of football for the kids, and the pair promptly get roped into playing referees. They leave at halftime while Donut’s group of kids performs an impromptu cheerleading routine (The man’s created surprisingly passable pompoms out of old caution tape).

Despite the rest of the base swarming with children, the barracks are oddly quiet.

“I could’ve sworn they’d be here,” Tucker tells Firo after checking Caboose’s room and finding it empty.

“BLARG,” she agrees around a mouthful of a granola bar—wrapper included.

“I mean, I guess we could check bomb disposal range. Maybe they’re playing fetch with Freckles?”

“BLARG?”

“No, fetch with Freckles basically involves vaporizing tennis balls straight out of the sky. So, there’s no real ‘fetching’ happening.”

“BLARG CHONK.”

“I know, right? That’s what I said!”

“CHONKA CHONKA.”

“Watch the language!” Tucker chides. “I don’t want the parents thinking I taught you that.”

Just then, Firo perks up, her large grey snout sniffing the air intently.

Tucker stops walking. “What is it? Did you get their scent aga—whoa, hold up!”

In the blink of an eye, Firo lets go of Tucker’s leg and tears off down the hall.

“Hey, hey, hey!” Tucker calls, sprinting after her. “Firo 'Srattin, get back here! If you had a middle name, you bet I’d be using it right now!”

Firo only stops long enough to stick her tongue out at the sim trooper before racing away down another corridor.

“Why you little,” Tucker mutters to himself and looks up at the ceiling. “Mom, if this is what I was like as a kid, I am so sorry. Firo!”

Tucker skids around a corner just in time to see Firo squeeze through an ajar door and disappear inside.

“Oh fuck,” Tucker groans, picking up speed. He hisses. “Firo! Get out here! That’s somebody’s room, and they don’t want to wake up to an alien chewing on their socks!”

The maze of two-person bunk rooms all looks the same to Tucker, so he’s halfway up the hall before he realizes the alien just escaped into his room. His and Wash’s room.

“Damn it,” Tucker mumbles, screeching to a halt outside the door, a hesitant hand on the handle.

Okay, okay. No need to panic. Maybe Firo hasn’t turned any of Wash’s meager possessions into chew toys yet. The Freelancer isn’t one for trinkets or homely touches. If it wasn’t for Tucker, the man would still be living out of his footlocker rather than the closet and chest of drawers available to him. But that means any nonessential items Wash does keep around are all the more meaningful. Like Caboose’s messy drawings or the ugly-ass cat figurine that Tucker carved him out of a bar of soap (“No, no, Tucker, I appreciate the gift. It’s a cute giraffe.” “It’s supposed to be a cat!” “Uh, cat. Right. That’s what I said.”)

“Alright, whose turn is it to turn the page?”

Tucker freezes. Fucking of course Wash is hiding out in the desolate barracks while the base is swarming with children. Tucker’s never seen him interact with someone younger than the lieutenants outside of a military setting. You don’t exactly see a whole lot of kindergarteners toddling around an active military base (Caboose doesn’t count). Long story short, Tucker has been putting off even introducing him to Junior because everything about Wash; his anxiety, his control-freak nature, his stickler-for-the-rules attitude; screams that he and children do not mix.

So who the hell is Wash talking to?

“BLARG!” A high-pitched Sangheili voice shouts.

Tucker’s brow furrows. He’s just about to push the door open when someone else speaks up.

“It’s Ure’s turn,” a young voice translates.

“Alright, Ure, you can do the honors,” Wash says. “Careful this time.”

Tucker hears the sound of a page being turned.

“Great, where were we? Right,” Wash clears his throat. “The BR55HB Service Rifle entered service in 2548 and is employed as a medium-to-long-range marksman rifle.”

The fuck?

“Though its barrel is longer than that of the BR55, the weapon performs almost identically to its predecessor,” Wash continues. “The magazine housing is built directly into the underside of the stock of the rifle and is located behind the grip. And look, here’s a picture.”

That’s it; Tucker can’t stop himself from sneaking a peek around the door.

Wash is sat on the floor, leaning back against his cot. And around him are no less than twelve children and young Sangheili, cuddled up against him, hanging off his arms, sprawled across his lap, and peering over his shoulders at the yellowed paper gun manual in his hands. After turning the book for everyone to see the battle rifle diagram, Wash goes back to reading,

“Though the BR55HB SR is a select-fire weapon, it is most often used in its three-round burst mode.”

“This is my favorite part,” whispers Caboose to the three kids comfortably sharing his lap.

“Despite firing a very powerful cartridge, the weapon is subject to little recoil, even when being fired automatically.”

Curled up in the arms of one of the Sangheili is Firo, happily sucking on her brother’s shirt as she listens to Wash read with rapt attention, along with the rest of the children. Huddled up among them sits Junior, head resting in his hands as he drowsily listens with a content smile on his face.

Someone needs to put down a wet floor sign because Tucker’s pretty sure his heart has melted into a puddle around his shoes.

“Whose turn is it to turn the page now?” Wash asks, and a tiny boy pulls his thumb out of his mouth just long enough to raise his hand.

Wash smiles, and it’s so warm and natural Tucker momentarily forgets how to breathe. “Want some help?”

Thumb back in his mouth, the boy nods, and the Freelancer helps him turn the page with his free, chubby little hand.

“Great job. Now, it fires M634 X-HP-SAP round from a 36-round magazine, which fits flush in the receiver...”

Suddenly, Grif is there next to Tucker, whispering. “You’re so fucked, dude.”

Tucker startles so hard he stumbles face-first into the door. He turns to glare at Grif who disappears into his own room next door with a little wave. Tucker turns back around to find he’s accidentally pushed the door open and the entire room staring at him.

“I, uh, just...Firo!” Tucker recovers quickly. “There you are! I’ve been, ah, looking everywhere for you. Yeah.” Hell yeah. Fucking smooth. Definitely doesn’t sound like you’ve been creeping outside the door.

Wash has gone bright red. “I, uh. There aren’t any, er, kids books on base,” he stammers and starts to stand up. “They kept asking to read this one cause it has pictures. It’s stupid, I kno—”

“What happens next?”

“I—” Wash stops. His brow furrows. “What happens what?”

“What happens next?” Tucker asks again, coming to sit cross-legged on the floor beside Junior. “Dude, you can’t leave us in suspense. I gotta know who lives happily ever after, right guys?” He winks at the kids who giggle. Junior slings a massive arm around his father’s shoulders and pulls him close.

Wash just sits there, ears and cheeks still tinged with red. “You’re sure?” he asks, narrowing his eyes in the way he does when he’s trying to figure out if Tucker’s fucking with him or not.

Tucker settled in, leaning back against his son. “Just read the story, dude,” he says, grinning.

Wash flips the manual open, laughing under his breath. “Okay then,” he concedes. “Section 1.4 Service History. The introduction of the BR55HB SR led to an immediate increase in the BR55's popularity, prompting all branches of the UNSC Armed Forces, except the Army, to replace the M392 with the newer weapon...”

[supernaturaltfwmeme]

12 Days of Dean Winchester. -Part 4

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

December 16th

“Sam, I think I know what you’re hunting.”  

That made you sit bolt right up. Dean too

“what is it?” you asked climbing out of bed and going to join Sam at the table.

“Not a what, a who.” Charlie explained.

“Care to elaborate” It was Dean who spoke, approaching the table rubbing his eyes before leaning on the back of your chair.

“I think it someone called Hans Trapp.”

“Never heard of him.” You muttered.

“He’s and anti-Santa figure kind of like Krampus.”  

“Oh great, as if he wasn’t bad enough to try and kill” Dean rolled his eyes.

“You guys killed Krampus? How has this never come up? I mean it’s Christmas for Dad sake, it should of come up.” you couldn’t help but chuckled at Gabriel's outburst.

“It was years ago Gabe.” you told him.

“But still.”

“Anyway Charlie, how do we kill him?”

“I’m not entirely sure.” She admitted.

“Why not?” Dean asked.

“Well the lore I can find says he was a wealthy man, but he was greedy and just down right evil. It doesn’t say why but he was exiled by the catholic church, so sold his soul.”

“Great demon deal, this is getting more complicated by the minute.” You complained.

“It says here that he was basically ran out of town and ended up living in a nearby forest. So, to take revenge I guess on the townspeople he started disguising himself as a scarecrow by stuffing his clothes with straw and kidnapping children to well eat them.”

“That explains the human bite marks in the clothes.” Dean added.

“So, what happened after that.” Sam asked.

“Well it says that god got sick of his evil ways and basically struck him down with a bolt of lightning.”

“How are we supposed to get him to get hit by lightning?” you were just thinking out loud at this point.

“Here’s where it stops making sense though. It says here that like Krampus he teamed up with good old St. Nicholas. Except where Krampus punished bad children, Hans Trapp tried to convince them to change their ways so they wouldn’t end up like him.”

“Well that just doesn’t make sense. Why would he start killing if he wanted children to change their ways?” Sam asked.

“Maybe were dealing with a ghost, you know the longer they hang on the angrier they get, who knows maybe this’ll just be a simple salt and burn.” Dean said hopefully. Maybe his plans to give you the perfect Christmas wouldn’t be completely derailed after all.

“Well that still leads to another problem.” Charlie added. Damn it could never just be simple could it.

“What is it Charlie?” Sam asked

“The legend of Hans Trapp is based on a real guy; Hans von Troth. He was a knight back in the 15th century. In Germany. And he died in a fire. There isn’t a body.”

“How the hell does a German knight who lived 600 years ago end up haunting a small town in Kansas?” Dean asked dropping his head into his hands.

“I think I can help with that.” It was Cas who spoke this time, making Charlie jump a little as he appeared behind her.

“Based on Charlie’s research, I did a google? Is that how you say it?” you all couldn’t help a little at Cas.

“After a while of searching it turns out the town you are in has a Christmas display at a museum, featuring the origins of Christmas legends. They might have something that belongs to this Hans von Troth.”

“that would make sense he could be haunting an object and that’s why there were no murders until a few days ago.” You added.

“Thanks for your help guys.” Sam said before hanging up the phone.

“Guess we better check out that museum then.”

You all got ready and headed out to the museum. When you got there, there was barely anybody inside, the exhibit clearly wasn’t that popular. You and the boys walked around until you found the section on Hans Trapp. Looking over it there was barely anything in it, mainly just the lore Charlie had told you about earlier. However, inside a nearby glass case there was one item that supposedly belonged to Hans von Troth, an old sword.

“Damn she’s a beauty.” You said admiring the sword.

“She shore is, shame we have to burn her.” Dean whisper coming up behind you.

“You guys do realise you're referring to a sword as she” Sam rolled his eyes. Before you could reply you hear a bit of a commotion behind you. It was one of the staff members arguing with a little boy.

“Iv’e already told you no Children without a parent or Guardian” she snapped. Who speak to a kid that way. The boy spoke up in a small voice

“But I am here with an adult.” he lied.

“Really?” The woman sneered. “Then where are they?” She clearly didn’t believe him. You weren’t going to listen to this.

“I'm right here.” You said stepping towards the little boy. “And don’t speak to my brother like that.” you snapped. The woman just glared at you before saying “Well don’t let him touch anything, children just get everything dirty.” She screwed her face up before walking away.

“Are you ok?” you asked the little boy.

“Yeah I'm fine.” He replied “I’m Ollie” he said putting his hand out to you making you smile.

“Well hi Ollie I'm y/n, it’s very nice to meet you.” You said shaking his hand. “What was that all about?”  

“she doesn’t like children.”

“Well I gathered that. But do you know why?”

“No but she doesn’t let us in the museum without adult supervision, but my parents are at work and I wanted to see the exhibit.”

“How old are you Ollie?”

“9” you smiled at him. The kid was smart he reminded you a lot of a younger Sam.  

“Would you like to meet my friends?”  

“OK” Ollie followed after you.

“Ollie this is Sam and this is Dean. Boys this is Ollie.” You introduced them.  

“Hi Ollie” Sam said. Dean just waved.

“The bitch who works here won’t let kids in without and adult so if anyone asks, he’s my brother.” You explained. Ollie smiling and running to look at the Krampus display. Dean couldn’t help but smile at that. He walked over to Ollie looking over the Krampus display with him.

“So kid, what you doing spending winter break in a museum?”

“I like myths and legends.” he said simply moving to a different display. “I like y/n, she’s pretty” Ollie added innocently.

“Yeh she is.” Dean said glancing back over to you as you were talking to Sam.

“Is she your girlfriend?” Ollie asked finally looking up at Dean.

“Err no she’s not.” Dean felt his cheeks flush a little. Awkwardly scratching the back of his neck.

“Why not, She’s pretty and nice. Don’t you want her to be your girlfriend?”  

“jez kid you ask a lot of questions.” Dean tried to avoid the subject. Being an inquisitive kid though Ollie didn’t give up that easily.  

“My mom said if you like somebody you should tell them because you never know if they like you back.” Dean couldn’t help but wonder if he really was that obvious about his feeling that even a kid he had just met could tell.

“Your mom sounds like a smart lady.” Dean commented before turning his attention back to you. You stayed in the museum until Ollie was done, using the time to stake out the security for later. When you were leaving you turned to Ollie and asked “Are you going to be able to get home ok?”

“Yeah I live just there.” He told you pointing at a house across the street.  

“OK well see you later kiddo.”

“Bye y/n, bye Dean, bye Sam.” Ollie called cheerily as he walked away. You watched him until he was inside before climbing into the impala. You leaned forward in your seat and asked the boys “SO what the plan?”

“all the victims have died at some point after 8pm so Come back as soon as it’s dark and they’re closed, they have a pretty simple security system, just a few cameras and an alarms system. It's a duel code system though, one code to disable the door alarms another to disable the display case alarms.” Dean explained

“You know Dean in another life you would have made a great thief.” You laughed.  

“Yeah, the only problem is I only got one of the codes, watched her put the door code in 5639. Hopefully the other code is on the computer somewhere, maybe Charlie could find it.”  

“Gotta say Dean I'm a little impressed.”  

“I’m gonna hang back and try and get into their camera system to disable them while you two break in.”

“Sounds like a plan”

Later that night

You were dressing in all black so was Sam and Dean you parked a little away from the museum as not to draw attention to yourself, and walked over. Sam staying in the car. Before going inside, you walked up to a metal box on the side of the museum, plugging a small device Charlie had built from an old flash drive into the internal paneling. That gave Sam access to the cameras. Dean had a Bluetooth device in his ear to talk to Sam.

“Right Dean I'm not great at this and Charlie will be busy getting into the computer so move when I say.”

“Ok Sammy.”  you started to pick the lock since you were quicker at this than Dean. Within a few seconds you felt the lock click and slowly turned the knob.

“Sam we’ve got the lock you ready with that first camera?” you heard Dean ask after a couple of seconds he gave you the nod to open the door. Dean rushed to the alarm panel and typed in the code before the alarm could go off. You went to walk towards the computer when you felt Dean Grab your hand and tug you back. You turned towards him he nodded towards the next camera. You saw the light was still on. A few seconds later it went off and you moved quickly to the computer.

Sitting down in the chair you powered on the computer and started looking around in the draws before pulling out a post it note and typing int the password. Dean raiser and eyebrow at you.

“What?” you whispered.

“How’d you know the password would be in there?” He asked  

“The man who owns the place is in a photo by the entrance he has expensive clothes but a cheap security system. It's not because of cost but ease. He's terrible with technology, so it was a safe bet he would of wrote the password down and kept it nearby.” you explained. The corner of Deans lips turning up a little.

“I’m impressed Singer.” He said sitting on the edge of the desk.  

“You’re not the only one who’d make a good thief.” you smirked. You pulled out your phone dialing Charlies number.

“You at the computer?” She asked as soon as she answered.  

“Yeah what do I do know?”

“Open up the email and give me the email address.” You did as she said.  

“Ok you should get an email any second from an untraceable account, it’ll contain a link click it. It’s a virus it’ll allow me to hack into the computer and download the virus to find the alarm code.” After a few seconds you saw an email pop up. You almost died when you saw the email address Charlie had picked. your face went bright red and you coughed a little, taking Charlie off speakerphone.  

“Really That’s what you picked?” Dean gave you a weird look but didn’t question it.

“What?” Charlie acted innocent but let out a laugh, you were going to kill her. The first part of the email address was y0u25h0uldk155. Or you 2 should kiss. You were really glad Dean was sat on the other side of the computer. You clicked the link and Charlie downloaded the files. After 30 seconds she half yelled in your ear “ok y/n I've got it. The code is 1309.”

“Dean 1309. Charlie I'll see you later.” you hang up as Dean waits for the camera at the alarm panel to go off before walking back over and typing in the code.

“Sam said we have 90 seconds before the alarm resets.” you wait for the camera pointing at the sword to shut down before walking over and picking the lock. When you’re done Dean carefully removes the sword and shuts the case just as the alarm resets.  

“Let's get out of here.” You said powering down the computer and following dean outside. You grab Charlies device from the camera system as Dean heads towards the car you quickly catch up. Climbing into the car, Sam shuts down his laptop. Dean chucks you the sword and starts the car driving off. You pull up behind your motel in a secluded area. You throw the sword on the ground covering it in salt as Sam pours Something flammable over it. When your done Dean Sparks his lighter throwing it on the sword the thing burning better than you expected. You glace at your phone. 19:59. You'd mad it just in time.

After you’d all got something to eat, Sam decides to call it a night. You were sitting on the other bed when Dean walks over carrying Sam’s laptop.

“What’s that for?” You ask as he sits down.

“Well the case is officially over so, I figured we can actually celebrate Christmas.” He smiled putting on a Christmas movie. It was your favourite. That’s why he had picked it. He moved so he was lying down with the computer in his lap. And pulled you closer so your head was on his chest, Dean playing with your hair. And that’s how you fell asleep.

December 17th

You woke up the next morning to the sound of the door slamming as Sam left to go for a run. You groaned and turned over burying your face in Deans chest. “It’s too damn early.” You muttered annoyed, making Dean chuckle. He just wrapped his arm around you tighter. “go back to sleep then.” That’s exactly what you did.

An hour and a half later you woke up to the sound of the door slamming again.  

“Jesus Sam, can’t you shut the door like a normal person.”

“Guys we have a problem.” his tone instantly waking you and Dean up.

“What is it?” Dean asked.

“Another kid was killed last night.”

“So, we didn’t burn the word early enough.” You said sadly.

“No y/n, the kid was last seen around 20:40. 40 minutes after we burned the sword.”

Part 5

[wellamarke]

i finally saw stranger things 3 and i have thoughts that i will break down by character ((they are not very deep thoughts, they are mostly love)) 

first, the kids

1. my beautiful son, will byers, for once did not have a hell ride of a season and got to smile a couple times. he took a bit of a back seat really, and i feel sorry for noah schnapp for all the ‘neck scratching’ memes he’ll be buried in now that it was basically his signature move for 8 episodes (and not even a particularly useful one) but anyway... the destruction of castle byers was one of the most heartbreaking scenes and i would have liked to see more fallout from it, but we can’t have everything. mike’s ‘it’s not my fault you don’t like girls’ line? eiiiish can we get some follow up in s4 please. (it might not be your fault mike but you’re involved lmao) so anyway. glad will got a breather season, but man when he was crying so much in the goodbye scene, i felt that. could not cope. 

2. lucas!!!!!!!! my treasured son!!!! i love him so much. he was such a hero this season! he is always down to fight with his catapult and i adore him. i love what a terrible casanova he makes. i wish there had been some kind of glimpse of him looking after max after she watched her brother die, because that’s a complicated thing for those two. but s4 awaits. i would love to see lucas take a more central role in s4, incidentally. in terms of the boys, s1 was mike’s time to shine, s2 was will’s, s3 was arguably dustin since he got the most time away from the group? s4 lucas please and thank you 

3. my angel daughter max, i love her, she’s so brave and brilliant, and she is such a good friend to el, and although billy-as-he-was didn’t deserve her, she was a good sister, too. i worry about her a lot. lucas and max better be the front and centre couple of s4, i swear. it’s their time. let them. i guess i was a little confused at first at how much max’s style changed between seasons, but i support her always, and her clothes now are so happy and cute. she’s adorable. now somebody please make sure she’s alright. where is her mom 

4. dustin, light of my life, he is a good child and i am proud of him! i have always related to dustin’s position in the friend group lmao so to see him off with his own little crew was very adorable. i love him as both steve and robin’s child and steve and robin’s parent. he is so resourceful and i love that they finally utilised gaten’s angel voice! i was so glad suzie turned out to be real and plot-relevant (kinda), please can she come for a visit in s4? thank you. 

5. eleven, my daughter, my small small child, she broke my heart so much this season and i am so proud of her for finding herself. her s4 arc of regaining her powers will be very interesting and i’m excited for her and joyce’s relationship to be developed more, because i love them both. i really appreciated them going for the angle of ‘eleven needs to exist outside of mike’, partly because the way they were behaving at the beginning of the season did seem to make sense for kids their age with a connection like theirs, and it is healthier for them to.... not. at least sometimes. el is so hardcore, i love how her dialogue is still written a little stilted while still letting her express herself. she had so many iconic lines. i can’t believe they took hop away from her. also i’m a little disappointed (but not surprised) that there was no kali.

6. mike, my child, my gangly and adorable son, he was a joy this season (even when he was whinging). you know what killed me? how TALL he was when he hugged his mother at the end, especially compared to the s1 scene after will’s “body” is found. logically i know that these are actors who are growing up but it feels like an assault every time they flashback to their tiny s1 selves, and mike is just a giant now. bless him. he is a good boy who is trying his best. i don’t really understand why he didn’t tell el what hopper had said much earlier, but he’s a silly teenage boy, so, you know. it’s like that. 

7. erica my precious daughter, oh my goodness, i enjoyed her immensely. i’m so glad she’s properly part of the crew and is beginning to embrace the nerdy part of herself. icon. priah ferguson is an entire gemstone. when nancy etc graduate to the adult storylines and mike and co are the resident teens, erica will be the lynchpin of the new generation and i couldn’t be happier about that. 

now, the teens

1. nancy was so iconic this year, DAMN. this girl never rests and i love her. i’m glad the romantic drama was minimised, just enough to keep them interesting but not so you really worried she was going to pingpong back to steve or anything silly like that. nancy is such a role model truly. she’s so brave. my life, when billy’s car was hurtling towards her and she just stayed shooting. that’s my girl. (also, she’s so gorgeous. i feel like 80s fashion happened mainly so that natalia dyer could recreate it)

2. STEVE my sweet sweet son. again, an icon. i can’t believe they actually kept him in that sailor suit the whole season. what a national treasure. when he slammed billy’s car! i cheered. i’m very proud of the person he has become and his friendship with robin is just adorable. so glad that they will be able to discuss pretty girls together now that they work at the arcade. also, maybe he could make it to the end of s4 without cutting up his face, but that’s probably too much to ask, isn’t it? 

3. robin is my entire heart, i can’t even express how much i love this girl. she’s so clever and brave and wonderful and i can’t wait for her and will to share a scene (because cOME ON the solidarity!!!). i love her sarcasm and wit, and how she just jumps into the madness and gets stuff done. a queen. welcome to the family, robin. 

4. jonathan my boyyyyy, he was lovely this season, i was so proud of him when he took the situation in hand with el’s injury (even if she ended up doing the surgery herself!) i am excited for him to be el’s big brother as well as will’s (side note: el and will are sure to be the cutest siblings) and hopefully he and nancy can continue to navigate the stormy sea of being the teen flagship without too much on-again-off-again. we get it, they’re meant for each other. loved their moment with the scar at the end. 

5. oh, billy. i will admit, i felt bad for him a couple of times, and he certainly suffered enough, not that his treatment of lucas in s2 will ever be excused. dacre montgomery really gives the most, which makes billy weirdly watchable. i will never understand why they chose to bring back the karen wheeler stuff, brrrrrrr, but, yeah. i’m glad they didn’t exactly “redeem” him, but managed to kill him off while still adding depth. (he tried to save el and good on him for that, but in the end it was joyce who stopped the mindflayer, so). 

aaand the adults!

1. murray was a complete delight, and i was thrilled to have him along for the ride. i’m heartbroken that murray/alexei will not rise, because that had potential.

2. joyce was wonderful and hilarious and brave and heartbreaking and perfect, of course. i can’t believe they’ve now killed off BOTH her love interests (as far as she knows, anyway). that poor woman. i hope she can continue in her role of best mother ever, now that she has an extra traumatised child on her hands. joyce is the true mvp. the moral strength that woman has. the brains. the curiosity. she’s a way of life. 

3. hopper, where do i start. i actually didn’t like him much at the start of the season. i get that he hasn’t had a teenager before, but he seemed to take a little too much delight in petrifying mike, especially since he knew how much it would genuinely hurt el. that seemed a bit extreme for the sake of not wanting to give a corny speech. but anyway. this man is a true trooper. so many fight scenes. and we’re supposed to assume he’s not actually dead, right? the post-credits scene in russia was almost entirely pointless (big deal, they got a demogorgon) apart from the line, ‘no, not the american’... i mean, surely that’s hopper? surely? murray is unaccounted for in the time jump, i suppose, but no way he was captured and not joyce. both or neither. man, imagine the reunion with el and joyce, if hopper really isn’t dead. i’m going with he’s not dead. we never saw any remains. kudos for still making his apparent demise pack a whole punch, though. that letter destroyed me. 

other things:

1. the turning-people-into-goo stuff was so horrifying, how do you even go about creating those visuals 

2. some of the fight scenes i kind of let happen without really watching, and just came back to see who was still upright by the end, how do people watch this stuff

3. joyce didn’t decorate her house :( in fact the magnets undecorated themselves, as a forerunner to the entire house being stripped.... wow....

4. mr clarke is an absolute beaut and i love the way he was used (although it was strange not to have dustin included!)

5. i love love love how this show operates, with different teams finding different parts of the mystery and piecing it together under fire. i love how none of them ever go, “hey, we should tell the other people who are usually involved in this stuff, chances are they’ve got themselves into it this time around.” 

6. the byers’ dog is still unaccounted for 

[timomaraus]

August 31, 2021

Irish Post Ireland under attack from sex-crazed spiders ‘the size of your hand’ (Editor’s Note: Somebody call Hagrid to fix this, quick!)

CNN Cows get airlifted over Swiss meadows (Editor’s Note: You’ve got to airlift the cows. Otherwise those spiders could get ‘em.)

Business Insider The 22-year-old MAGA influencer running Rudy Giuliani’s communications teams has been replaced by a former Hooters spokesperson (Editor’s Note: With Rudy Giuliani, often times you don’t even need to write a joke. You can just put the headline out there on its own.)

CNN Bolsonaro says he will either be arrested, killed or win Brazil’s next election (Editor’s Note: Not sure that really covers all the possibliities, but ok.)

CNN Peleton under investigation by the SEC and Department of Justice (Editor’s Note: Do you suppose training on Peloton’s is why those SEC schools keep winning football championships?)

CNN This creature has been lost to science for over 80 years. Now, a team may have found it (Editor’s Note: And that’s good, because they were getting pretty darn old to keep crawling around on their hands and knees looking.)

Business Insider A woman says she got first-degree burns after a Starbucks barista gave her the wrong drink and she tried to return it at a drive-thru. She’s suing the company. (Editor’s Note: She knew what to do. She just called Jackie Chiles.)

CNN Social Security won’t be able to pay full benefits by 2034, a year earlier than expected (Editor’s Note: So tell me again why I should wait to start collecting until I’m 67, or 70?)

CNN Rand Paul has a *very* wacky theory about ivermectin (Editor’s Note: Well, Rand Paul is a *very* wacky guy.)

CNN A Lake Tahoe resident played the violin as his family sat in fire evacuation traffic (Editor’s Note: Yes, we do know what you are thinking. No, his name is not Nero.)

[violetsystems]

#personal

After the gender reveal of Dudley the cat last week, she disappeared for more than a few days.  She was back on my porch last night after I did laundry looking a little down.  My gut is that Animal Care and Control probably picked her up and brought her to the pound.  Earlier today I had this feeling maybe I was to blame with all the attention.  Which is kind of weird to think that people pay so much attention to me and so little at the same time.  While I was somewhat relieved I haven’t seen any poop in the corridor, I’ve been bummed out consistently here and there.  It’s been a lot of things and nothing at all simultaneously.  I went and saw Ant-man and the Wasp last weekend by myself.  It was amazing in a very normal way.  I took the train behind my house out to this suburb called Cicero.  It’s still pretty much the city but it has it’s own laws which sounds more ominous than it was.  Chicago sometimes feels like it operates by it’s own hidden loopholes.  It is the most corrupt city in the nation.  That seems ridiculous to say when you look at who is president.  For the most part, Chicago for me is ok.  Or at least parts of it are learning that I know better.  The shittiest thing about being a leader is that sometimes you think you are just filling the spot.  You assume somebody with more authority and experience comes along to relieve you.  I don’t really like being told what to do or what to think.  But I also realize that society needs to get along regardless.  I’ve been doing it all by myself for a long time.  I’ve suffered a lot.  People always want you to explain these things when for years nobody was really listening.  It’s a broken record to me.  Life goes on.  The only difference is that I know better.  I know what is worth my time and what isn’t.  And I know if I remain patient another day is another day.  People take risks all the time with little or no regard for probability.  Leaps of faith into the abyss.  I’ve played Lemmings enough to know a good night’s sleep is a healthy alternative to a sharp dive into the Edgelord caverns.

Those caves are filled with the worst kinds of trolls.  Year after year their network of tunnels still exist desperately trying to connect in your inbox.  I had posted something about my Mom being excited Croatia advanced in the World Cup.  Somebody who I’ve always considered a bit sus was in my inbox trying to tell me his favorite player on the team was throwing a Nazi salute.  It basically confirmed my suspicions about that person enough to block them.  And that person is connected to another person.  A network of trolls who want nothing but for you to react.  To give them some sort of rise out of making you angry.  To have some power to manipulate, intimidate and aggravate you.  Truth is my Croatian side of the family is the gypsy side.  And somebody trying to bond with me over Croatian Nationalism made a huge fucking mistake.  In the spirit of free speech I’m supposed to tolerate that accordingly to some subterranean law.  But in the end, I just ignore it and block it.  I know better.  I know who is involved in the worst shit in this city because they don’t even try to hide it anymore.  There’s no repercussions for these people.  None that I can ever see.  So why do I even want to be in plain sight of those people.  I shut the door.  At least to my apartment anyway.  I’ve been biking a bit more to work.  We won this city wide challenge as the most bike friendly working place.  I ride fixed and a lot of my friends are messengers so it’s always been kind of a big part of my life.  There’s a lot that happens at street level that makes you forget about those sewers where the trash floats.  I’ve been getting down to work pretty early and sitting outside this coffee shop hidden between two large buildings.  Ironically the person starting shit in my inbox used to work there until he got fired.  I remember when I started going back there he was loud and obnoxious about how I shouldn’t go there.  It’s pretty quiet reading comics and drinking coffee outside at eight am.  I don’t have to listen to hipster cokehead nazi bullshit at least.  Which is a large part of my problem with this city if I were to be truthful.  Or streets and sanitation depending on which way you look at it.

Those people are bullshit anyway.  And year after year nobody addresses it.  After all the things I’ve written it’s still the same old story.  Maybe things are a little better for me.  Maybe they’re not.  I deal with difficult people so much.  I realize now that if I were to get into a relationship it would be the least difficult thing to do.  I don’t want something that is difficult.  I don’t want to be difficult.  Life is difficult and scary enough as it is.  I wouldn’t say I’m very afraid of it.  Shit is so boring right now in a lot of ways.  Everybody lives by this Jefferson Starship mantra in this town that “We built this city!”  At what cost?  Who pays the price for this literal shanty town that plays out a lot like West World when all is said and done?  Are all these traps just tests?  I’m going to go on record I’ve survived more traps in more cities I think than anyone I know.  And people still don’t want to listen or believe me when I say what’s a bad idea and what isn’t.  The truth is I’m smarter than most people.  I’m sorry for that.  I’m also very critical of myself when it comes to how it affects other people.  My position of power in the world and how that might affect somebody else.  I’m also a human fucking being who has been wronged so many times at this point it’s a fucking joke on the internet.  Like I’m some performance to be staged around.  For some people yes.  When you break free of the narrative and create your own do you break the fourth wall or something?  Sometimes it feels like it.  Like you looked behind the curtain one too many times and can’t bear to tell people how it is.  That these people have no end game other than death and reckless abandon.  They don’t want to build communities.  They want to ravage, scavenge and remake them for themselves.  They’re vampires that suck the life and the resources out of everything.  They don’t meet you halfway.  They’re too lost to know which direction is which.  And they’re too proud to admit they’re lost.  And somehow we admire them more than we admire the people paying the actual price.  I don’t ever want to be like those people.  Mostly because I want to be happy someday for the right reasons.  If Dudley can come back to me, I can break free of the quantum realm someday.  Sure are a lot of fuckboys down here though.  I’m not a fuckboy for the record.  There needs to be some sort of certification or training like CPR.  Because last time I checked this city is on life support.  <3 Tim

[trashqueenkyloren]

Longass Meta on Kylo Ren’s Redemption Arc/Rey and Kylo

SO, to begin, this is something I’ve wanted to write literally since Dec 2015 but the fear of being hated on has been so strong that I’ve just recently felt confident enough to post it and I really just want this out there before The Last Jedi comes out so I can compare although it’s so close to the release date this is all probably irrelevant now oh well

So I went into The Force Awakens basically as a blank slate (I’ll explain later) and I really just want to point out a few thoughts I had while watching it the first time that point to a potential Kylo Ren Redemption arc and the possibility of Rey and Kylo at least teaming up (this is mostly just my opinion, feel free to disagree!)

(way more under the cut guys, read on if you like!)

To begin, let me explain a little bit about myself

PART 1: BACKGROUND

When I went to go see TFA in theaters, I knew almost nothing about Star Wars. I had seen the originals like once when I was like 5 and had not really gotten into it. In fact all I knew was that 

1) The force and the light/dark side are a thing

2) Darth Vader is Luke’s father

3) Han is Leia’s love interest and Luke is her brother (and even this I had to ask my friend to clarify/make sure I had it right)

and obviously I knew the names of yoda and r2d2 and other really basic knowledge, you get the idea

The Force Awakens is what made me become a Star Wars fan (don’t worry, I have since then made up for my mistakes by rewatching all the movies and such)

but anyway what this means is 

I went into TFA as basically a blank slate, meaning I had no biased Star Wars thoughts to cloud my judgement 

I saw what the filmmakers wanted me to see

In addition, being a person who currently studies Literature, Psychology, and Film Studies at college (yeah, yeah, I fit the stereotype, kill me), if there is something I know well it’s Storytelling 

The only things I really knew about TFA before going into it were that 

 1) It was a sequel to the originals 

 2) Rey and Finn are the main characters (had seen pictures and was already lowkey shipping FinnRey) 

 3) The bad guy was some masked dude

That's it. I wasn't a huge fan so I hadn't bothered to look up anything else about the movie and hadn't seen any spoilers. But enough about me .

PART 2: THE CHARACTER OF KYLO REN

Now, while viewing TFA, one thing that struck me and captivated me in a way that no other Star Wars movie had was the character of Kylo Ren. I had definitely not expected to like this character at all. Two things changed this for me

1) The reveal that he is the son of Han and Leia

Never before (in the movies) had Star Wars had a character that was so clearly torn between the two sides. Him being the son of Han Solo and Leia gave him a legacy and a reason for us to want him to be good. We want Han and Leia to get the happiness they deserve. Honestly, if you don’t want a Kylo to be redeemed just think about poor Leia losing her son and still having hope for him (Do it for Leia!!) .

2) His feeling the pull to the light

This scene surprised me because the fact that Kylo is talking to an old helmet about his inner feelings means that 

a) he has no one to confide in so he is withholding a lot of strong mixed emotions and feelings, which is unhealthy

b) he is tempted by the light side while being on the dark, which is very, very different from most villains, who (it seems to me) disregard the light completely. Which means despite wanting desperately to be bad he can’t even do it because of an inborn light side like a teenager going through a rebellious phase

and c) he is being honest about his call to the light because he has no reason to lie if he’s not talking to anyone, which means he really does still feel a compulsion to be good

Star Wars, being a family-friendly film saga, usually has a pretty clear dichotomy on good and evil (hence, light and dark sides). We root for the good guys, not the bad guys. It’s always been sort of a black and white morality going on, but Kylo is one of the few characters that enhances the Star Wars universe by bringing to light (heh) the potential for gray morality in an otherwise black and white world (as it is) 

He is a person that really should be on the light side because of his family and such, but because of Snoke’s constant manipulation and unfortunate upbringing he’s been struggling with the dark side his entire life. It’s really a sad thing to think about. 

Additionally

While initially hating him, I ended up feeling a great deal of sympathy for him throughout the film, so much so that I wondered why they had even made him a villain at all

He was not a weak villain like I had heard in reviews, just a conflicted one. A lot of people don’t like it when villains don’t fit perfectly into a “pure evil mustache-twirling-type”. I found Kylo infinitely more interesting because of this.

He’s no Darth Vader. But that’s the point. Both he and the audience, in a sort of meta twist, know that he’ll constantly be in the shadow of Darth Vader. So, instead, he’s younger, more volatile, more emotional, uncontrollable, unpredictable. He’s contrasted from all these villains to show how he stands out as different. He seemed to me separate from the Hux/Snoke kind of evil that didn’t have any sort of redeeming qualities at all. Evil for the sake of evil, if you will

The viewer’s sympathy for the villain and how obviously they showed his flaws and potential for good is the crucial foundation of a redemption arc

I liked him a lot as a character pretty much up until he killed Han Solo. Then, I obviously believed he was a lot more evil than he looked, although the fact that he definitely didn’t seem happier or better or more dark-side oriented in any way after this still suggested that he didn’t become completely evil 

After this, it hit me that the ONLY sure-fire way to make people absolutely hate Kylo Ren as a villain and squashing people’s complaints that he was too wishy-washy or not bad enough as a villain was to have him kill off one of the most beloved characters in Star Wars history (who also happened to be his father)

He was so obviously drawn to the light and not bad enough throughout the first half of the movie that the writers had to take a huge step in order to get him to the actual level of villain and add a lot of unlikeability

PART 3: KYLO REN AND REY

(My favorite part of the movie ^ Has been my laptop’s background wallpaper since Dec 2015. I would get a poster of it if I could)

In this section, I will describe some things I picked up both about Kylo’s characterization around Rey and their interactions between them. I think that Kylo’s actions towards Rey played a large part in getting the audience to think he was “too weak” of a villain (Something I heard in reviews a lot after watching the movie)

1) The infamous bridal carry scene

Okay my first thought when I saw this was that he was way too gentle with her. Honestly, Kylo, you need your hands to use your lightsaber and the force, so this is much you rendering yourself completely useless on unsafe territory

He could’ve slung her over his shoulder? Or passed her off to a Stormtrooper? So this struck me as very strange, to say the least. To think that he would carry her so gently. But then we see this 

Now, the importance of the combination of the bridal carry and the crossing of the threshold was not lost on me 

It reminded me a lot of a movie a had scene only a few months earlier (which I would highly recommend), Crimson Peak.

While the bridal carry itself could indicate romantic interest between the two characters (somebody already wrote a really good meta about this so I won’t go into it here) the additional crossing of the threshold is a step in the traditional “Hero’s Journey,” a set of steps in a literary work that star wars loves to rely on, where the hero’s journey begins and the hero’s life is changed

Typically, it’s the point of no return for our hero, as things change in a permanent sort of way for their journey moving forward

2) The Unmasking Scene 

I was shocked by this scene for a few reasons which I’ll go into here

a) First off, I was shocked by how youthful he looked. I was expecting a creepy looking old dude or someone with a bunch of scars on their face, but instead we get this young, handsome boy. (Yes, I find Kylo Ren attractive, but does this somehow invalidate my thinking in this meta? No. I can put aside attraction for an objective analysis.) But what I also realized is that he doesn’t need the mask to live, like Darth Vader did. He needs a mask for the entirely opposite reason, in order to make him seem intimidating. Without it he just looks like a lost child, he needs the mask in order to be taken seriously.

b) The second thing that shocked me was that this is the first installation of a trilogy and they’ve already unmasked the main villain. This speaks volumes to them wanting the audience to humanize him as early as possible. Darth Vader didn’t get unmasked until the later part of the last movie of the trilogy. If they wanted him to remain purely antagonistic, they would would have left his mask on. This means that they aren’t going to want us to view him as the one-dimensional cardboard cutout villain, they want us to view him as a human with flaws.

c) The final thing I want to touch on is that Kylo’s unmasked came directly after Rey’s quote “That’s what happens when your being hunted by a creature in a mask”. When Rey said this, my reaction in the theater was, So just take it off! And then he did. And I had really not expected him to actually take off his mask for her, as this meant he did not want her to view him as a “creature” or a “monster,” but he wanted her to see he is a human, just like her. He wanted to create empathy between them. This move, along with me noticing that Kylo was much younger and more attractive than I thought, coupled with his attempts to reassure her (tells her he doesn’t know where her friends are, “you’re my guest,” “don’t be afraid, I feel it too”) led me to believe the Kylo Ren might actually be Rey’s love interest, instead of Finn. It seemed like a unique plausible twist and it was just kind of an instinctual gut feeling that hit me. Of course, the thought of this went out the window when Kylo murdered Han, but, after reviewing the movie a couple more times, the thought kept coming back to me.

(Okay quick side note, my friend and I came across a Kylo Ren action figure for The Last Jedi that says different phrases in Barnes and Noble recently, so I pressed it, and one of the phrases is just Kylo saying “Don’t be afraid” in a gentle tone and my friend and I were laughing because what kind of villain just says “don’t be afraid” even in their action figure? That’s like, the least threatening thing, so anyways...)

3) The Final Fight 

I really, really liked the fight at the end, aesthetically it was beautiful. I really liked that neither Rey nor Kylo seemed to overpower the other, even though Kylo should’ve easily been able to overpower Rey because he’s physically stronger and has had more experience and training. 

The fact that Kylo says “It’s just us now” clearly to Rey honestly made me laugh because Finn is standing literally right there, but Kylo clearly doesn’t view him as a threat because he knows that Rey is strong with the force and therefore, she is more of a threat to him. A lot of what Kylo says can actually be applied to Rey too, which I find interesting. When he says “Han Solo can't save you,” yes he’s talking to Rey but he’s also talking about himself, as he believes Han Solo was unable to save him.Then he’s obviously not trying to flat-out kill Rey in their fight, he’s trying to get her to join him because he believes he can train her (“I can show you the ways of the Force”) which also surprised me.

It was interesting to see Kylo weakened by his wicked act, instead of strengthened as he thought. This, to me, meant that he still had the potential for light and redemption in him, given enough character development in future movies. I’m excited to see what The Last Jedi and Episode IX holds for him, and what they decide to do with his character. All I’m saying is, he has a lot of potential for a good redemption arc, as the foundation has already been laid for it.

PART 4: ENDING THOUGHTS

I think that both reylos and “antis” have a lot of valid points, but miscommunication seems to be a main problem. 

I guarantee you that literally no reylo wants Kylo Ren and Rey to make out, like, right now, as it stands with the ending of The Force Awakens that we know. They need Kylo to go through a redemption arc FIRST and there needs to be a lot of things that need to change for this to occur. If Kylo Ren didn’t threaten Rey in any way in this movie then they would not be enemies, and there would practically be no plot. Also, I’m pretty sure no one wants Rey’s story to be eclipsed by Kylo or her story to revolve around saving him. This should come about through Leia/himself. But also, love does not make a character inherently weaker.

Right now, Rey and Kylo are enemies, on opposite sides of a war. But they have a lot of potential for the “Enemies to Allies to Lovers” classic trope (with TFA as enemies, TLJ as allies, and then ep 9 as Lovers) But things must proceed in this order for this to occur. There is no skipping stages here. It is their potential for more which intrigues reylo shippers so much.

Personally, I am intrigued by their yin and yang, with one person in the dark being drawn to the light, another in the light being tempted by the dark, and I want them at least to team up (it could remain platonic) to bring balance to the force. To me, seeing this play out would be extremely satisfying, and be something unlike what Star Wars has done before.

Now, if you don’t ship reylo or don’t want Kylo Ren to be redeemed, awesome. That’s your opinion and you are free to have it. I don’t wish to start arguments or discourse, I simply wanted to vent some thoughts. This post shows my opinions, which I am also free to have. Thanks for reading about it!

[misssophiachase]

So, I'm back! What I need to acknowledge is this AMAZEBALLS fic cover by the wonderful Nicole @romanoffsbite. I know I always say this but it might be one of my absolute faves yet! Thanks love. So, this is my first update and I'm hoping subsequent ones of my other fics will follow #ProductiveJuly #Hopefully

Synopsis: Caroline Forbes takes a post-graduation camping trip in the mountains with her friends only to return to nothing and no one. Can she find out what's happened, especially with arrogant Klaus Mikaelson along for the journey?

Chapter 3: Cosmic Egg

1 day earlier...

"Football is a tough game, honey. It takes a lot of natural skill." Kol insisted.

"Which is why you mustn't be very good at it," Caroline shot back, rolling her eyes at the same time. She could make out Klaus' crimson lips curve into a smile and was trying to ignore just how cute he looked at the same time.

They hadn't fought since that first night but they also hadn't talked much either. So Caroline felt like they'd settled into somewhat of an uneasy truce. There were so many times she wanted to ask him about what she'd seen that night at prom but thought better of it given their present and extremely nosy company. After hiking most of yesterday they'd decided to stay around the camp and relax on their last day.

"Mock me all you like but I was the best striker at my school in London. If we hadn't moved here I could be in the professional league by now," he boasted.

"We're outside but yet I still feel suffocated by that over-inflated ego," Katherine weazed. "Anyway, it's not like it's real football or anything."

"Excuse me?" Elijah baulked, stopping the ball from impressively spinning atop his finger at her comment. Caroline had to admit this relatively quiet guy had many hidden talents. "It is real football, hence its name."

"She means American football," Bonnie offered.

"How is that real?" Klaus asked. "Football is a tactical game of speed and agility, not a bunch of guys in ridiculous amounts of padding running into each other for sport."

"I'd like to see you try it," Caroline dared.

"Oh come on, if they really were so tough they wouldn't require all that padding," Klaus muttered.

"Sounds like someone feels a little inadequate." Caroline raised her eyebrows.

"Pretty tough call to make when you can't even play, love."

"How do you know I can't?"

"I smell a challenge," Katherine smiled mischievously.

"How about a game of three on three?" Klaus offered. "We can even mix up the teams to make it fair."

"What? Because we're women?"

"Fair because as much as you love to pretend to play a tough game, it's obvious you don't know what you're doing, sweetheart."

"Oh, p-uh-leaase," Caroline groaned.

"Do we have to?" Kol grumbled, before noticing Bonnie's menacing stare. "What I meant to say is I'd love to play with Bonnie."

"For that I wouldn't go on your team if you begged me now, Kol," she growled. "You can have Klaus but I''m taking Elijah and Caroline."

"Hey, what about me?" The one thing both girls knew about was Katherine's lack of coordination, especially when it came to ball sports.

"Don't worry, Katherine," Klaus assured her, his eyes boring into Caroline's blue ones as he said it. "You're on the winning team so there's nothing to be upset about."

"Someone's cocky."

"Can you two just stop arguing and start getting busy?" Kol smirked, his double meaning not lost on Caroline. They both looked at each other not expecting him to bring up something so awkward in front of the whole group. Caroline made a mental note to put a snake in his sleeping bag tonight.

The game went as expected. Yes, Elijah was extremely gifted but having both Kol and Klaus on the same team was proving to be difficult for Caroline and Bonnie. Katherine basically stood there, her teammates deciding early on that her contribution to the game was best left at that. Caroline made her way up the makeshift field, eyes focused solely on him. When it came to competition, it was obvious Klaus was completely focused on the game.

Caroline ran past before attempting turning around to stop his momentum and steal the football in the process. "Didn't your mother ever tell you it's rude not to share?"

"Didn't yours tell you that winning is all that matters?" He puffed, using his impressive leg skills to evade her attempts to take possession.

"No, mine told me it isn't about whether you win or lose, it's about how you play the game." Klaus rolled his eyes at that particular saying.

Caroline was still determined, running alongside him and matching his pace. She veered into his body, throwing him slightly off balance before attempting to retrieve the ball, her legs intertwining with his as they both fell to the ground simultaneously.

She was wrapped around him and Caroline had to admit it felt strangely good. Nearby Kol was bleating about red cards as she and Klaus caught their breath, Caroline pinned beneath him, skin against skin as their blue eyes met. Time seemed to stand still and she didn't even notice when the others came over to their aid.

"Are you okay, Caroline?" Elijah asked them both, his concern evident.

"Way to try and deflect blame here, Elijah! She's a cheater," Kol accused. "It's our ball."

"Calm down little brother," Klaus offered, Caroline surprised that his usual unrelenting and competitive side had been taken hostage by their close proximity.

"No," she argued, attempting to free her limbs from his feebly, shaking slightly as she did. "The rules are the rules. I don't need pity."

"Whatever you say, love," Klaus murmured, holding her gaze longer than usual.

"Can we just play already?" Kol urged. "It's almost dark."

Turns out Klaus and Kol won convincingly (no one felt the need to acknowledge Katherine with her obvious lack of skill) but given the team make-up she was hardly surprised. While Kol gloated around the fire, much to Bonnie's chagrin, Klaus was surprisingly silent. She knew he was competitive and so his lack of conversation was playing on Caroline's mind.

As much as she wanted to ignore it, they'd shared something on the grass, albeit brief. Flashes of a certain painting were playing on her mind and Caroline was beginning to question his possible feelings. In fact, she wanted to ask him everything she'd held back to this point. What did it matter now given they'd be going their separate ways next month?

"As much as I've enjoyed this display of macho, male behaviour, I'm turning in," Katherine yawned.

"Yeah, we need to be up early to trek back," Caroline agreed, snuggling into her sleeping bag. All in all, she'd had an okay time even with his unexpected appearance.

It was probably three hours later, when a low humming noise woke her. Caroline rubbed her eyes before looking towards the sky. She didn't see anything but that sound was familiar. Why were there airplanes again? Klaus caught her eye across the fire his expression sombre. For someone who seemed so relaxed about their presence the other night his gaze was telling her something else.

Caroline turned over, determined to get some sleep. She made a note to ask her parents about it when she got back into town.

Present Day

"We need to calm down and decide what our next step is going to be," Elijah offered, looking around the group earnestly. They'd been stunned into relative silence on finding the Mikaelsons gone and the electricity out, just like at Caroline's house.

They were sitting in the their expansive living room in complete darkness. Given the possible danger they'd decided to wait until after sunset to make their next move so anything they did was undetected. Caroline had been in a daze after seeing Jesse dead and finding her parents gone but she was beginning to realise that sitting still wasn't going to help them find out what happened.

"Easy for you to say," Katherine hissed. "I have no idea if my parents are even okay."

"Well, look around, princess," Kol growled. "Our parents are missing."

"This isn't helping," Bonnie sobbed. Kol sent her a sheepish glance and placed his arm comfortingly around his distressed girlfriend.

"We need to go into main street and find out what's happening. Our parents may be missing but there's got to be somebody somewhere who knows what the hell is going on," Klaus suggested. "Plus, we're going to need some supplies given most of the food is spoiled due to the power outage."

"What if it's a trap and they're waiting for us in town?"

"What do you mean Kol? Who's they exactly?" Bonnie murmured.

"The planes," he mumbled. "It can't be a coincidence that we saw an entire fleet fly over and now our parents and everyone else seems to be missing."

"I think we need to stop spouting conspiracy theories until we have more evidence, little brother," Elijah baulked. "Klaus is right about the supplies though and if it means finding some semblance of civilisation then we need to go while it's dark."

"But what about my parents? I need to know if they're okay, so does Kat."

"Okay, how about Elijah and Kat go to her place and Kol and Bonnie do the same," Klaus instructed. Caroline looked up, realising that just meant the two of them together, all alone. "Are you up for a trip into town, Caroline?"

"Let's do it," she agreed, knowing that any of her unresolved feelings for him didn't matter in the current environment. Sure she was scared but Caroline knew she had to find her parents and from Klaus' grimace, she could tell he felt the same way.

They dispersed quickly, each collecting what they needed before heading off on the farm's motorbikes. Caroline held her best friends close, almost afraid to let them go because she might never see them again. Klaus had sent his brothers a serious nod before rushing back into the house, for what she had no idea.

"See you soon, bestie," Kat promised, giving her an extra squeeze before jumping on the bike being Elijah.

"Be safe," Bonnie murmured,."We'll see you soon, Care."

They were gone before she could reply properly, the words not forthcoming she was that emotional as they rode off into the night. 

She found herself back in the Mikaelson house looking for Klaus so they too could leave. It was pitch black inside so she turned on a flashlight and moved about the rooms. Where was he? Didn't Klaus realise how important it was to leave now? She heard some rustling down the hallway, moving towards the sound.

She flashed her torch at the source of the noise, noticing Klaus madly rummaging in a drawer. By the looks of her surroundings this was his bedroom. "Are you right, Caroline?"

"Sorry," she growled, lowering it slightly. "I wondered where you'd gone. we need to head into the city."

"I know," Klaus replied gruffly, taking something from his drawer and placing it in his pocket. What it was she had no idea but suddenly it didn't matter because of where the flash light focused. It was the painting she'd seen on prom night and it was hanging in pride of place on his bedroom wall, opposite his bed. She shivered involuntarily, knowing just how she felt as she stood on that jetty and the painting was a vivid reminder of that fact.

"Hey," Klaus whispered, breaking her from the trance, his hand finding hers in the darkness. "Everything will be okay."

"How do you know that?" She whimpered, feeling her resolve fading away.

"Because we need all the hope we can muster, love," he offered, squeezing her hand in the process. With every horrible thing that seemed to be happening to them, Caroline found a brief moment of comfort in his hushed words and the warmth of his skin against hers.

"Let's get them back," Caroline smiled, albeit weakly. They finally pulled apart and even though she felt cold without his touch, Caroline knew they had work to do if they were going to defeat this hidden enemy and see their family again.

You can read and review on FF HERE

[kansascityhappenings]

Joe’s Weather Blog: And now for something different… (FRI-3/1)

I know that sounds like an ominous title to the blog…but this is good news (for me at least and hopefully for you too). It actually has nothing to do with the actual weather…it’s more about my role at FOX 4. After doing weekend weather for almost 25 years…it’s time to try something else out for size. Starting on Monday, March 25th, I’ll be taking over the Monday through Friday evening weathercasts.

I’m excited about the new challenges that are being laid out in front of me. I’m thrilled to bring a different perspective to the “traditional” weathercast that you see nightly and I’m overjoyed about being able to bring my weather passion to our FOX 4 viewers on a daily basis.

The thing is…I’m really going to miss my former shift. I loved that shift and if the station had told me 6 weeks or so ago that they wanted me to remain on my weekend shift and do everything else that I did for another 10 years…I’d be very happy doing that too. The reality is that I’m extremely lucky. A TV station rarely keeps a weekend weather person in the same slot for almost 25 years…it’s VERY rare…maybe not unheard of but unique for sure. In the end I just like communicating weather information to our viewers and regardless of what day or time I’m on (although I don’t think I’d be very good at 4AM in the morning). The amazing thing is that I’m still making a living doing the only thing I’ve really cared about doing since the 3rd grade.

Yes the 3rd grade.

Growing up in southern New York…I distinctly remember falling in love with snow. As many of you know snow is still my favorite type of weather to try and predict. It can also be the toughest to get right for many reasons and the fact that we try to be so precise in predicting the amounts is even more challenging to me…but it all started with me liking snow and yes I know after the winter we’ve had so far some of you are rolling your eyes at me right now…I get it. I also want a few 70° afternoons (hopefully with very little wind).

Actually when I talk to my colleagues in TV, or pursuing other weather-related careers…this is not uncommon. For some…it’s severe weather…perhaps they saw a tornado when they were younger or were impacted by a significant weather occurrence growing up. For some it’s growing up and watching me or any of their favorite meteorologists do what they do every night…and just became fascinated by the job at hand. Yes I’m getting old enough now that some have gotten into the world of weather and are telling me that they remember growing up and watching me…whether it be here in KC or when I used to work in other cities.

In late 1994 when I came to KC (can you believe it’s been almost 25 years already)…I actually thought I would stay for about 3-5 years and then move along…as many in the TV world do. The thing is…between the Royals…the Chiefs…the concerts…the restaurants…the lack of terrible traffic (mostly)…the quality of life…and about a million other things…Kansas City has a way of holding on to you. When opportunities presented themselves over the years…it just didn’t “feel” right leaving…in time we just decided to stay here…there was no need to leave..KC offered my wife and I everything we could want. Did I think that I would maintain that weekend shift for almost 25 years…no…but then again I loved that shift…it “worked” for me. Somebody told me a couple of years ago that in the history of KC television…no one has consistently worked weekends as long as I have…certainly not in the history of TV weather in KC. I’m actually sort of sad that that streak will be coming to an end.

The one thing I’ve learned, if nothing else, as I’ve stuck around for so long, is that the grass may look greener on the other side…but often it isn’t…or it’s not what you think it would be like…and perhaps there’s nothing wrong with staying at a successful #1 TV station after all, where your co-workers treat you well…where you’re happy…where you’re respected…and where you’re listened too (and trust me I give my opinions from a forecasting aspect and other things too). Perhaps there’s nothing wrong with carving your niche…doing what you love…being a part of the community (about 1000 appearances over the years)…hopefully impacting your viewers in a positive way (regardless of the weather) and impacting your co-workers with more weather knowledge than they ever wanted to know in the first place…they’re eyes roll too at me sometimes when I’m getting into it. (

)

Our business is changing and will continue to change for the good, and perhaps not so great, over the next 10 to 20 years. Technology is advancing so quickly. In many cases these advancements will allow me to do my job better and different while communicating weather information to you. How those changes ripple though the rest of the industry I don’t know. I do know that as an weather industry we have to fundamentally change the way we do weathercasts to some extent. I’m not talking out of school on this subject…when I talk to groups of my colleagues at conferences I attend…to various organizations in the region that are kind enough to ask me to speak about TV weather and others on a one to one basis…this is one of my mantras.

We have to tell you, our customers, what you don’t know already. We have to tell you what you can’t find on your weather app on your phone…we have to tell you something that, in the end, you just may say to yourself…”I didn’t know that”. It can’t be JUST about temperatures on a map flashing across the screen…it has to be more. I will take this to my retirement (hopefully in 10-15 years)…YOU want to learn something…you want a “that’s pretty cool” moment. That’s my mantra with a weathercast and I try and do that each and every night. Sometimes more effectively than other times…but it’s my goal at least. Trust me, I think my bosses upstairs have heard this “mantra” from me about a dozen times already. It’s just a strong feeling I have deep to my core as a meteorologist.

If your wondering about how this affects other aspects of what I’ve been doing at FOX 4 for almost 25 years…the good news is it really doesn’t change things too much. A few alterations here and there.

The weather blog won’t change at all. Actually it may get posted even earlier in the day…preferably by 9-10AM or so on most weekdays. It’s part of who I am (regular blog readers know that). It’s an extension of me…my passion…and my desire to bring weather information to those who want a deeper dive (some might say too deep

). The blogs on quiet weekend days may get a bit more infrequent…if the weather is quiet…if not…if something important is coming…they will be there as usual. I can’t tell you the satisfaction of so many of you who have stopped me to tell me about your love of the blog. I’m humbled by the fact that the weather blog is often the #1 requested item on fox4kc.com during active weather scenarios. Snowstorms or the threat of snowstorms is a big driver in that regard. If you stop after the forecast…great…if you read into the discussion (the deeper dive part)…fabulous. I just want my readers to be just a little bit smarter at the end of the day. It really is amazing to me how many of you spend at least part of your day reading my thoughts. I’m truly humbled by that…a darn weather blog!

My popular weather segment “What Your Weather App Can’t Tell You” will remain as well for the reasons above.

Joe’s Golf Tournaments…no changes there. This unique program that helps local charities, has just been fired up again for the new golf season (assuming it warms up). If you run a charitable golf tournament go to fox4kc.com/joesgolf and submit your information on the form…I will get it into the calendar and try and promote your tournament as much as possible about 4-6 weeks before the tournament date. I can only get to so many tournaments on the air…and each year over 200 send in their information. This program is the only one of it’s kind in the country and it’s my way of giving back to the community and to the sport of golf…a game I love dearly (and makes me look so foolish).

All the other things that I usually do on the air and on FB and Twitter will remain as well. Feel free to follow along on FB at Joe Lauria Fox 4 Meteorologist and on Twitter @fox4wx.

Finally a word(s) of thanks…

To my wife who puts up with my weather obsession day in and day out. Who watches me hover over my computer morning, noon and night as the new model data comes in, especially if there is “something” happening.

To my mom and dad (now deceased) who allowed me back in high school to get on a train every weekend and take it into NYC to intern at WCBS-TV (in their weather department) for several years and learn more about what I wanted to do. Aside from the weather aspect of things I also learned how to treat my co-workers, whether on screen or behind the camera as equals-hey it’s a team effort). I’ll never forget when I told my dad that I was going to make $200/week back in the mid 80s (before taxes) after I got my first job in TV a month before college graduation. I had to ask him for $1000 dollars or so so I could afford to get some new suits for my new career.

To all my friends and colleagues at the station. So many of them came and told me of their support…I can’t list them all but thank you for all the kind words over the last few months. There are a few people at the station who perhaps were my “bigger”supporters and while I won’t embarrass them…I just want them to know how much I appreciate the honest and candidness of the journey we were going on for the last few months. I also heard from quite a few folks who are connected to KC television, one way or the other, voicing their opinions and for that I’m humbled as well.

After calling my mom and telling her the “weather” news awhile back…the next person who I wanted to let know about these changes was Mike Thompson. I called him about 3 weeks ago to let him in on the news before it got out via social media or whatever. I wanted to give him an update about what was happening and we had a great chat. No need to get into details but many of you may remember the blog I wrote when he left…and those words stand today as well. He’s doing well and is working on a new website now. Through the years Mike was a big supporter of mine as well.

Finally thanks to the 100s of you who got in touch with me via FB or other social media while the station went through this process. I appreciated your thoughts and well wishes tremendously!

Now the most important part of this at the end of the day…

Rest assured that Karli, Michelle and I will continue to guide you through the good weather days and the bad weather days. We won’t change our philosophy in any sort of manner. We won’t hype a weather event needlessly. We’ll allow Mother Nature to do the talking for us. Will we be perfect every day? Nope. We’ll do our best though as we try to predict things that often don’t exist. We do have another teammate who will be joining us at the end of the month..he’s a KC native and I’ve known him for several years…we’ve had some great talks over those years over a few beers…and I think you’ll enjoy what he’ll bring to the weekend newscasts down the road. More on that in a weather blog in a few weeks.

All these changes will start the week of March 25th. So bear with us for a few more weeks while we work through some vacations and shift changes. I’ll be on vacation next week.

I had no idea what to use for a feature picture for this “different” entry. There was no way I was going to use a picture of myself…that isn’t what this was all about…so I decided to use a picture of a sunrise from Tami Camlin…here’s to new beginnings.

          from FOX 4 Kansas City WDAF-TV | News, Weather, Sports https://fox4kc.com/2019/03/01/joes-weather-blog-and-now-for-something-different-fri-3-1/

from Kansas City Happenings https://kansascityhappenings.wordpress.com/2019/03/01/joes-weather-blog-and-now-for-something-different-fri-3-1/

[mintflavoredwindows]

A Really Long “Shinon/Gatrie Is at Least a Little Real and I Really Like It” Meta Post Thing

I just wanna talk about my Big Tellius Ship that I have trouble finding content for lmao, sorry to anyone who's seeing this post on mobile.  I got carried away!!!

So Shinon and Gatrie.  In PoR they get introduced together, they first leave the party together, they have a Really Good support, and just generally they have a lot of good interactions and are really tight.  I also have a hard time finding shippy content for them, I'm not 100% sure why??  There's some good shit out there for them but it feels like they would be more popular?  I mean, it's not like I don't have my own fic in the works for them, but I'm a lot better at just talkin shit like this than doing Serious Writing so this is gonna be Publishable WAY earlier, despite being way longer.

I was originally gonna go through a bunch of their interactions (especially their PoR supports) through the lens of Someone Who Ships Them and talk about why I like their dynamic and I think they work romantically, but this kinda turned into... a HUGE fuckin meta about both of them as characters and how they relate to each other + other characters.  I mean, it's hard to do the ship talk without the character talk.  I haven't actually played RD yet and I only know a few things about Shinon and Gatrie in that game, so if there's anything big to talk about there, I'm probably gonna miss it!  Thankfully, there's A Lot just in their PoR stuff.

So starting with their introduction at the end of Chapter 2, we're off to A Start. Shinon gets a really cool entrance where he fires some ridiculous shot and saves Rolf's life and then brags about it and demands that people thank him for it (spoiler: They don't), while Gatrie just kinda... barely arrives while sweating his ass off, complains that Titania and Shinon almost left him behind when they KNOW his armor is MASSIVE and impossible to run in (everyone ignores him), and claims that his running and sweating qualifies as hard work.  Now that I'm looking back at it, these are actually really effective introductions to their characters: Shinon as a guy who's real fuckin good at what he does but is a Raging Douche, and Gatrie as a generally good guy who gets memed on a bit and you feel bad for him buuut at the same time, he... manages to come across as a little bit of a tool too, even if he seems more pleasant than Shinon does.

We haven't even seen him try to flirt yet.

So in their first appearance, Shinon and Gatrie don't really interact with each other, you don't really directly get the sense that they're friends beyond the fact that they're introduced at the same time.  Actually, everyone just kind of ignores both of them??  Really in hindsight, I don't blame Shinon for feeling kinda underappreciated.  It's not until Chapter 3 that we find out that they work jobs together a lot, often enough that they have a name for their teamed fighting style:

Gatrie: “Ho, Deputy Commander! You want standard thunder and lightning maneuvers here?”Ike: “Er…Thunder and lightning?” Gatrie: “Yeah! I crash into ’em like thunder, and Shinon rains arrows down on ’em like lightning!”

Or Gatrie does anyway.  No one else makes reference "thunder and lightning" ever (Titania just says the plan "sounds good") and honestly I can picture him coming up with that and thinking it sounds So Cool and trying to make it A Thing.

After the chapter is completed, we see that Shinon and Gatrie are either 1.) definitely closer to each other than they are to the other Greil Mercenaries and that they have some priorities in common or 2.) really close friends and that Titania at least is really aware of this.  I'm gonna start with the first one because that's the scenario most people are gonna get (it's a little early in the game to be losing units).

So after clearing the pirates out of town, the mayor thanks the Greil Mercenaries, but suggests that they could make better pay in other positions.  They're really competent for a bunch of rando mercenaries defending a town from rando pirates.  Titania gets a little defensive over it, but it prompts this conversation if Shinon and Gatrie are both alive:

Shinon: “Pah! Jobs like this barely make a dent in my incurable boredom! It’s like that old buzzard said, there’s better work out there. Something with a bit of challenge.” Titania: “Shinon!” Shinon: “I’m joking. J-O-K-ing.” Gatrie: “Come, Titania. Be honest. Don’t you find the work we do to be a bit…disheartening? Unglamorous?” Titania: “What? You too, Gatrie? What’s gotten into you?” Gatrie: “Please! Look, we’re not a band of money-hungry recruits. We’re professionals, and we’re very good at what we do. Shinon and I have discussed this at length. All of this mundane mercenary work is unworthy of us. We’re wasting our talents.” Titania: “I see. You’re telling me that you think Commander Greil is mismanaging us. Do I have that right?” Gatrie: “Whoa! Hold it right there! That’s not what I’m saying at all!” Ike: “What is it, Titania?” Titania: “What’s what?” Ike: “You seem so angry. It’s not like you.” Titania: “Hmph…” Gatrie: “Exactly! Ike’s got the right of it!” Titania: “It’s just that I…Look, we do good work, and we help people. I want you to be proud of that. I felt like you were saying work that doesn’t bring fame and fortune isn’t worth doing, that’s all. Sorry.” Gatrie: “No…you’re right. We are the ones who ought to apologize.”

So there's a bit going on here.  This is obvious foreshadowing for Shinon and Gatrie being the ones who bail on the Greil Mercenaries after Greil's death to look for better work.  We also have Shinon starting some shit and Gatrie being the one to finish it, mostly by panicking at Titania's pushback and apologizing (not that Shinon doesn't do his own immediate backpedaling by brushing his comment off as a joke before Gatrie starts arguing on his behalf).  We can see that Shinon and Gatrie have similar priorities, ranking fame and fortune higher than the other Greil Mercenaries seem to, and Gatrie's mention of them discussing the subject at length (which Titania doesn't seem to have been aware of) makes it seem like they're definitely closer to each other than they are with the rest of the company.  I'd say that this exchange, plus the thunder and lightning thing, are really what establish Shinon and Gatrie as sort of a unit within the Greil Mercenaries.  After apologizing for stepping out of line, Gatrie is perfectly willing to concede the point to Titania and move on to a celebratory meal.  Shinon, on the other hand...

Shinon: “Pah. I’m surrounded by idealistic fools. What’s so wrong with fame? What’s wrong with having money to live well?”

He doesn't actually apologize for his "joke" and was, as it turns out, a little more serious about what he was saying than Gatrie was. Also, for all that somebody has Provoke as a default skill and is known to be foul-tempered and ready to fight, somebody sure does back down quickly when he's mildly rebuked/challenged!  Especially considering he wasn't joking at all!  There's probably another meta out there that interprets this as evidence that Shinon has a romantic thing for Titania and like, Okay Fair Enough, but that's not what this meta is, so I'm just gonna say it indicates that Shinon does care about Titania's opinion/Titania in general (as most of their few interactions do; they def respect each other and like each other as people) and that when he seriously steps on someone's toes who he really does care about, he's pretty quick to try to patch things up or change the subject.  Effective?  Maybe not so much. Anyway, Shinon and Gatrie are more in sync with each other than they are with the rest of the squad, but they're def not totally in sync!! (Which is good tbh, the world couldn't take more than one Shinon or more than one Gatrie I think)  This is reflected further down the line when Gatrie returns as an Other Unit before being re-recruited and expresses regret over abandoning his old company so quickly if Ike talks to him after he's back, while Shinon shows up as a straight-up enemy who taunts most of his old companions in battle conversations and needs to be defeated under really specific circumstances in order to not go down fighting, and even then, he demands that Ike duel him for leadership of the Greil Mercenaries if he's gonna come back to the company. But I'm getting ahead of myself, I gotta talk about the Sad Versions of this chapter end:

Shinon: “Hey, Captain. I’m gonna take off for a while.” Titania: “That’s no problem. We have nothing scheduled until tomorrow afternoon. Take what time you need.” Shinon: “Yeah. I’ll do that.” Ike: “Where’s Shinon going?” Titania: “He needs some time alone. Usually, I make everyone report in, but…with what happened to Gatrie today…” Ike: “I see.” Titania: “No matter how many times it happens, you never get used to losing a friend. Ike, this is…This is the world we mercenaries live in. Never lose sight of that one, cold truth.”

Gatrie: “Titania? I’d…um…like to take off for a while. Is that a problem?” Titania: “No. No problem. There’s nothing scheduled until tomorrow afternoon. Take your time.” Gatrie: “Thanks.” Ike: “Where’s Gatrie going?” Titania: “He needs some time alone. Usually, I make everyone report in, but…with what happened to Shinon…” Ike: “I see.” Titania: “No matter how many times it happens, you never get used to losing a friend. Ike, this is…this is the world we mercenaries live in. Never lose sight of that one, cold truth.”

Okay, so it admittedly doesn't take much to make me upset but this Makes Me Upset.  Shinon and Gatrie are close enough that if one dies, the other feels that they need to request some time off to grieve... and Titania recognizes that they def need it.  Shinon does this kind of posturing where he basically tells Titania he's taking the time off whether it's okay or not, but her convo with Ike makes it obvious that she sees through it.  He's actually pretty distraught about losing Gatrie?  Gatrie, as usual, is a little more upfront about his actual emotional state (the "um" kills me fsr??) and seems pretty subdued compared to most of his other dialogue.  Still, he doesn't actually have to say what's up for it to be obvious (to Titania, who definitely knows both of them better than Ike does) that he's broken up about Shinon dying.  Even though these conversations p much signal the end of any Shinon-Gatrie interactions for the playthrough they show up in, they make it obvious that they're really close friends who definitely care about each other on a level beyond "guy whose priorities are kinda similar to mine and we chill sometimes."  This also establishes that even though Gatrie is definitely more open with his feelings than Shinon is, neither of them is really... good with discussing deep stuff. Granted, it's hard to get deeper/harder to talk about than coping with the death of someone you really care about, but it's an indication that either of them might gloss over what they're really feeling when things get emotionally dicey.

There's not a whole lot to comment on in Chapter 4, but after pulling Shinon to be part of Ike's squad, Greil immediately picks Gatrie too.  I'm gonna quote it, not really because it's significant to anything, but just because I love it when Shinon gets memed on like this:

Shinon: “Commander, you must be joking! He’s just a boy, and he’s had barely more than a taste of battle. What do you expect a whelp like him to accomplish?” Greil: “Ah, Shinon. Since you’re so concerned, you can go as well.” Shinon: “Wait, that’s not what I… Blast.” Greil: “Who else…Gatrie, Rhys, and Soren. That should do.”

Shinon really really hates having Ike in charge of anything, huh.  Granted, if I kept getting passed over for recognition and stuff for a 17-year-old, I'd probably be pretty miffed too??

Another note, I'm probably gonna get on Gatrie's case for being sort of oblivious later on, but he's not totally unobservant.  He's the default character to notice Daein troops approaching in this chapter if all units are still alive.  He's also the one who notices the affilation of the dead soldiers if Rhys isn't around to  do it:

Titania: “Are they Crimean?” Gatrie: “I don’t think so. Look at that black armor, Ike. The vast majority of the dead are Daein soldiers.”

After the battle, he's also the only one who's paying attention to what Shinon's up to.

Gatrie: “I don’t know…Taking out these Daein soldiers may have been a bad move. Um…Hey, Shinon? What are you doing?” Shinon: “This swine’s got some nice weapons. Besides, he ain’t gonna complain. He won’t need them where he’s going.”

Shinon's a catch, huh.  Also, he calls Soren judgmental when he tells to him to "steal from the dead on [his] own time."  Yeah, Shinon, that's definitely being judgmental.

Moving on to Chapter 5, Shinon and Gatrie come down on different sides of the Elincia debate... kind of:

Greil: “Shinon? Gatrie?” Shinon: “Soren’s a pompous, superior whelp, but he’s got the right idea. Besides, the destination’s Gallia, so it’s a moot question. I don’t care how much we get paid; there’s no way under the sun I’m going to stinking beast country.” Gatrie: “Princess Elincia…She does possess a certain regal beauty… There’s a lot to be said for that, you know. However I do prefer country girls…A bit cuter, and not quite so standoffish…Oh! Forget I said that.Whatever you decide is good for me, Commander. Yep, uh-huh, yep…”

Again, they end up paired together when Greil asks for their opinions.  They really are kind of a unit within the group? Also, I'm surprised it's even this deep into the game before we get our first reference to Gatrie being kind of a womanizer, considering that becomes his Primary Character Quirk.  I'll talk more about how Gatrie flirts (It's Bad) and how I think that plays out in his relationship with Shinon later when I talk about their support conversations. For now, I'll say that Gatrie just... says whatever he's thinking sometimes, huh. Like he seems to know that the stuff he's saying is irrelevant to the issue at hand and also that it's stuff that the others probably aren't particularly interested in hearing, but he just... keeps on goin.  I will admit that "cute" and "not quite so standoffish" aren't really things I'd describe Shinon as, but Shinon is definitely less standoffish with people he's close to.  He's not particular nice in this scene, but Gatrie really really does not seem to mind:

Greil: “Open your ears and listen. Listen! All of you.” Boyd:“Huh?…What is it?” Gatrie: “Uh…I don’t hear a thing…” Shinon: “Idiot! That’s the problem. Don’t you think that’s a bit odd? Complete silence, in all four directions.” Gatrie: “Oh, so that’s what you’re talking about!”

Really, Gatrie seems to have no problem brushing it off most of the time when Shinon's being p damn harsh.  I'd argue that Shinon doesn't really mean the vast majority of the rude shit he says, especially jumping all the way to his PoR epilogue dialogue, after the war is over and everything is said and done:

Shinon: “…Bah. I suppose you want some kind of congratulations now, right? Well, too bad. You’re a snot-nosed whelp, and I’m still better than you. Don’t ever forget that.”

Awww, how sweet.  Seriously though, he's smiling when he says this and it's in the middle of a whole bunch of people congratulating Ike on ending a fucking war and affirming how much he means to them.  There is absolutely no way in hell he actually means this, he just can't bring himself to tell Ike that he did a good job.  He's too caught up in his fucking jackass persona to have a nice moment with anyone who isn't Rolf or Gatrie, as we'll get to, and even there he has some trouble.

At the end of the chapter, Shinon and Gatrie get paired together on another mission:

Greil: “Titania! Take Shinon and Gatrie and make sure we have a secure road from here to the great forest. We’ll make our way to Gallia through the sea of trees.”

Ditto with the intro to the next chapter:

Greil: “All right, let’s split up. The diversionary team will be Gatrie, Shinon, and me. The rest of you guard Princess Elincia and proceed to Gallia straightaway. Got it?” Ike: “Are you sure you’re taking enough men?” Shinon: “Idiot pup. Smaller numbers mean better mobility. Your time would be better spent worrying about yourself than about us.” Ike: “…”

Greil has Shinon and Gatrie working together A LOT near the beginning of the game.  I'm not skipping over anything where they get sent on different assignments??  They do work well together combat-wise (in theory, at least, because in my experience, enemies CONSTANTLY ignore Gatrie and his good good Def stat in favor of mobbing Shinon who can't take it as well because he has Provoke on him and I can't bring myself to take it off) and they're good at dealing with each other's personalities and quirks, but holy shit Greil Does Not Separate Them.  We even see some more of this in Rhys and Titania's C-support a little later on, which also gives us another example of how Shinon tries really really hard to pretend like he doesn't care about anyone when that is def not the case:

Titania: "Yeah, those bandits were a rough lot... Their stomping ground was right near your village, actually. It's all coming back to me now... They were tougher than I'd thought. We took most of them out with ease, but one fled into the woods and I gave chase. Big mistake. My horse got hung up in the undergrowth, and that bandit got the drop on me... At least Shinon hit him before I was killed." Rhys: "Gatrie and Shinon were both really worried when they brought you back to my parents' house." Titania: "Really? I didn't know that. Hmm... I didn't think Shinon ever worried about anyone... But they stayed with me until my wounds were healed, I remember that.”

Before splitting off from the group though, Shinon arguably calls Gatrie delicate (in a sympathetic way):

Gatrie: “Blazes, why does it have to be so blamed humid? If we weren’t being chased, I’d strip off this armor here and now!” Titania: “Then I’m almost glad that we ARE being pursued. I suppose you’ll have to grin and bear it, won’t you?” Gatrie: “Hm, I suppose I will.” Titania: “Right. So enough of your griping. You’re merely wasting energy. Still, this heat is appalling.” Shinon: “Dense forests such as these are not made for us delicate humans. The sub-humans love ’em, though.”

Granted, EVERYONE is complaining about the humidity (sidenote, I love Titania and I love her comeback to Gatrie saying he wants to Disrobe, it's iconic), but it does come across as Shinon backing Gatrie up on this one.

When Greil's party meets up with Ike's, Shinon and Gatrie have a little lore convo and then immediately get sent off on another assignment together:

Gatrie: “Shinon… What are these 'twisted games' the boss is talking about?” Shinon: “There’s rumor that King Daein gathers strong men from around the continent and sets them to fight one another. Those who live, regardless of their birth, are given influential positions. Don’t know if it’s true, though.” Gatrie: “Oh…So that weird dame’s got her eye on the boss now, does she?” Greil: “Shinon! Gatrie! I’ll distract the woman. You two grab Ike and the others and get out of here now!” Shinon: “Got it!” Gatrie: “But, Commander! We can’t leave you here on your own!” Shinon: “Idiot! That woman’s no threat to the commander. All right, come on! Let’s go!”

Gatrie's phrasing re: Petrine is so surreal to me... "That weird dame"... "Got her eye on the boss"... Like Shinon just told him about this fucked-up-if-true thing and it almost sounds like all he got out of it is that Petrine is like... interested in Greil??  Like I definitely think he's bi, but heteronormativity is one hell of a thing, especially where Gatrie's concerned.

Reuniting with Ike, Gatrie is happy to see him and gets emotional, while Shinon is... Shinon interacting with Ike.

Ike: “Gatrie!” Gatrie: “Hey, is that you, Ike? I heard you got the princess to Gallia. Nice work! You’re quite the hero. …But wait! So what in blazes are you doing back here?” Ike: “You’ll think it foolish, but I was worried about all of you.” Gatrie: “Aww…You’re going to make me cry, you silly pup! All right…sniff… Get it together, Gatrie. Tonight, you and I will share a meal sing a song or two!”

Ike: “Well met, Shinon. Are you unharmed?” Shinon: “Do I look injured? I’m as fit as ever. You must be disappointed Daein hasn’t stuck me full of holes yet.” Ike: “…” Shinon: “Guess it’s time to tighten our belts and move on. Now that I’m gonna be dragging your worthless carcass around again, I'll have to work twice as hard.”

"..." is about right, Ike. Shinon is really REALLY sure that the dislike is totally mutual (or wants it to be fsr?) when it really, really isn't.  Like, the whole rivalry thing between them is super one-sided.  Gatrie, on the other hand, doesn't have that weird animosity going on with Ike, so he's just touched that Ike cares. He even cries a lil bit.

The reunion doesn't last long though.  After this chapter, Greil is killed by the Black Knight and Shinon and Gatrie leave the company.  Together, incidentally.

Soren: “Shinon and Gatrie have left us.” Boyd: “Soren!” Soren: “What? There’s nothing to hide, is there?” Ike: “They left? Both of them? Why did they–Oh, I see. They left because of me, didn’t they?" Titania: “Ike…” Boyd: “Titania told us you were going to be the new commander. Shinon just about exploded…He and Gatrie left not long ago.” Oscar: “We went after them. We tried to talk things out, but it was a waste of time.”

Incidentally, Gatrie makes the decision to leave independently if Shinon is dead at this point because he doesn't want to serve under anyone other than Greil. But as long as Shinon's alive, his issues with Ike take center stage for this conversation.  They apparently stick together long enough that the rest of the group seems to talk to them both?  Eventually they go their separate ways though, with Gatrie finding a job as Astrid's bodyguard and Shinon enlisting in the Daein army.  I'm really curious at what point they split up tbh?  It's never really addressed and Gatrie's surprised to see Shinon fighting with Daein later on, so they pretty much definitely parted ways before that.  It's possible that it really wasn't long after this, although I like to think they stuck together for at least a little while.  This is getting into headcanon territory, but I think that Gatrie probably got pretty emotional when they were saying their goodbyes but probably bounced back pretty quickly afterward.  Shinon seems to me like he'd pretend it didn't really affect him at all, but other than possibly Rolf, Gatrie's definitely the one he's closest to in the Greil Mercenaries (and probably beyond that even?), so he's def feeling something.  He tries to brush off his emotional reactions when it comes to his work though, as we'll see a little later, and he usually tries to convince others to do the same.

We don't see either of them again until Ike's squad just happens to run into Gatrie on his new job in Chapter 13.  He's pretty damn flirty with Astrid and has a whole support of him trying to impress her, but please Astrid, you can do better.

Gatrie: "Lady Astrid! Allow me to serve as your shield!" Astrid: "Gatrie...I'm so sorry that I've gotten you involved in this, too..." Gatrie: "Oh, please! This is nothing. I'm fine!! Before I was hired as your bodyguard, I was a top-notch mercenary! I can handle this many opponents all by myself. This is nothing." Astrid: "Is that so? Your confidence is impressive, to say the least..." Gatrie: "Tee hee! Well...trust me, my confidence is backed with my blade! I'm ready to fight!"

As most of the other Greil Mercenaries note, Gatrie is thrilled to be working for a cute girl and really wants to impress her.  He also giggles a lot when that comes up, which is another thing I'm surprised hasn't come up before now? He's a giggler.

Titania: "My...I've never seen you so serious before. Whoever your new employer is, he must be quite special...or...would I be safe in saying 'she'?" Gatrie: "Tee hee! You know me too well! But I do love the work she gives me. I'm so happy, I don't know what to do! Well, it is nice seeing you again!"

Gatrie also gets a quick base conversation with Ike in the next chapter, where he tries to get Ike to join him in Some Straight Dude Bullshit and fails miserably:

Gatrie: "No, I'm here for different reasons. I'm just...admiring the flowers." Ike: "Oh, right. Yes, they all seem to be in bloom this time of year. The large yellow ones are especially pretty." Gatrie: "Not those flowers...THOSE flowers!" Ike: "...Gatrie, we're inside. There's nothing here but the temple handmaidens." Gatrie: "Exactly! It's like a whole new species of girl lives in Begnion! Everyone in this palace is drop-dead gorgeous!" Ike: "..." Gatrie: "You know what I mean, Ike? Tee hee! Say, which one strikes your fancy? That buxom lass with the chestnut hair is... Hey, Ike? Ike? Bah! He's still just a boy!"

First off, there is absolutely no way in hell Ike is a heterosexual.  Also I'm so sure that this wasn't intentional, especially since the rest of the conversation is focused on girls, but Gatrie does say that everyone in the palace is drop-dead gorgeous, which I didn't notice until now and I think I'm just gonna... call Death of the Author on this one, Gatrie is mega impressed by the dudes too.

Another thing to talk about here is Gatrie phrasing something weirdly (again) with the "whole new species of girl" thing.  Gatrie... What the fuck.  Honestly, I was gonna try to analyze that line but all I can come up with is "What the fuck, Gatrie" so I'm just gonna let it serve as a segueway to talking about Gatrie's non-Shinon support conversations and how he approaches relationships with women and how it's... honestly not great.  Like I think he's well-intentioned with all of it?  Like he wants to be romantic and do nice things, but he's suuuper forward with the flirting and gets kind of pedestal-y from time to time.  Eugh, fair warning, some of this stuff gets kind of uncomfortable:

Gatrie: "Marcia! How are you doing, beautiful?" Marcia: "Huh? How do you know my name?" Gatrie: "Why wouldn't I know the name of a cute girl like you?! You know, there was a time when Titania was the only woman in this mercenary group. Things have really started to shape up while I was away. Mmm... Not bad at all." Marcia: "Oh, nice line, chump. I'm swooning."

You tell him, Marcia.

Gatrie: "Ilyana!" Ilyana: "Oh, hello..." Gatrie: "I picked these beautiful flowers just for you!" Ilyana: "Oh..." Gatrie: "W-what? You don't like them?" Ilyana: "Well..." Gatrie: "Oh, good! So you DO like them!" Ilyana: "It's just that... Um..." Gatrie: "...No good, eh? Then what about this broach? Isn't it fashionable? I picked it up at a quaint little curio shop I stumbled upon." Ilyana: "Oh..."

You've barely talked to her Gatrie, slow down.

Gatrie: "That's nice of you to say, but having someone as gorgeous and talented as you join us is payment enough. I need nothing more!" Marcia: "Whoa...that's a lot of pressure. I had no idea people depended on me so much. In any case, I'll keep doing my best! Wish me luck!" Gatrie: "She's so adorable! She will be mine... Oh, yes. She...will...be...mine."

Gatrie, please chill out just a little.  On that note, Gatrie does tend to push boundaries farther than anyone really should when he's trying to flirt.

Gatrie: "That's no good, either? Are you sure you won't take it?" Ilyana: "Well... It's nice, but..." Gatrie: "... Oh! So you love it, right? Just like you love big, strong knights?" Ilyana: "Excuse me..." Gatrie: "Hmmm. She's a tough one to swoon. I'll just have to pour it on even thicker! There's no way I'm going to let such a gorgeous girl slip away!"

He does quit eventually though, even though all of his PoR supports with girls end with him deciding not to give up.  He's not total garbage when it comes to boundaries, just somewhat.

Gatrie: "Not interested, are you?" Ilyana: "It's not that--" Gatrie: "You don't want it, do you?" Ilyana: "Not really..." Gatrie: "Hmm, this tactic isn't working. To be honest, I was thinking that if I gave you something you liked, you might come out to dinner with me sometime."

Astrid: "I don't have a boyfriend. But... I do have a fiance." Gatrie: "What?! A fiance?!" Astrid: "Yes." Gatrie: "Well, er... Congratulations!" Astrid: "Gatrie! Do you have something in your eye?" Gatrie: "Oh... Don't worry about me. ...Sniff... Sniff... As long as you're happy... ...Sniiiifff..." Astrid: "Gatrie! Where are you going?" Gatrie: "I screwed up again! I thought I had a chance this time, too. Hmmm... Wait... She said she had a fiance, didn't she? Going out of her way to tell me that... She must want me to swoon her off her feet and steal her away! That's it! She should have just said so! Wait for me, Astrid!"

And thus the cycle continues.  I mean, Astrid literally ran away from home and needed to hire a bodyguard because she wanted to get away from Lekain so badly (as would most people), so it's not like Gatrie was completely misreading the mood there.  But he doesn't want to disrupt a hypothetical happy relationship and, in his support with Ilyana, he eventually gets the hint and I really don't think I'm overromanticizing him by saying that if he hadn't mentioned dinner and Ilyana hadn't jumped on that free food opportunity, he would have excused himself and had a good cry and that would have been the end of it.

Another thing about Gatrie's flirting attempts is that he tries really, really hard to seem cool.  He does a little bit of this with everyone, like when he arrives as a reinforcement in Chapter 17:

Gatrie: "...Puff... Puff... Whew!  There you are!  Hold on, everyone!  Your knight in shining armor has arrived!"

Man, he just keeps sweatin in that armor, huh.  He lays it on super thick when he's flirting though.

Gatrie: "I'm Gatrie. But I'm sure you already knew that." Ilyana: "Um...well, actually..." Gatrie: "Of course, I'm sure you've heard all about my victories on the battlefield. Oh, there was that business with the dragon..."

Gatrie: "Marcia! Good to see you. Actually, I was just about to meet up with Ike for a little sparring session." Marcia: "W-what!? You're going to fight the commander?!" Gatrie: "You bet I am! That's why I asked you to stop by. I wanted to invite you along so you could check me out in action. Now, don't get my wrong... Ike is a strong commander. But he doesn't have a chance to match my overwhelming physical power! It's breathtaking, really." Marcia: "Breathtaking? Really... I can't wait to see this, Gatrie." Gatrie: "Ha ha ha! Well, what can I say? Why don't you just kick back and watch me unleash the raw fury of these mighty arms! Hhhrraaaawwww!"

Gatrie: "Oh, I get it! That's very admirable, Astrid! Er... But now isn't the best time for that. I'm a little sore from... uh...lifting heavy things... Blast! Where's Titania when you need her? I don't know the first thing about training people..." Astrid: "Sorry? I didn't catch that." Gatrie: "Ha ha! No, nothing at all! Let's train some other day! I want to make sure I'm totally prepared!"

"Lifting heavy things."  Right.  He also gets pretty damn upset when he completely fails to look cool in front of someone he's interested in, as best shown in his supports with Marcia:

Marcia: "What's the matter, big fella? You're looking down." Gatrie: "It's better if you don't talk to me at all, Marcia. Don't even give me a second look. I'm nothing but dirt. I'm worse than dirt... I'm...sludge!" Marcia: "Oh, boy... This is about the other day, isn't it? When you got beaten down by--" Gatrie: "Don't remind me! I was such a fool! I can't believe I let you see me get smacked around like that. I might as well throw in the towel now. I'm just a big loser..."

So in summary, Gatrie tries to impress people by faking being cooler and tougher than he is and aiming for Big Romantic Gestures, usually without checking to see if they'd be appreciated first.  Like I said, I think he's well-intentioned and genuinely wants to pursue these relationships??  But he's a goddamn mess.  I'm about to blow your mind though with something I found out by combing through the RD support lines:

Shinon's even worse at flirting.

Shinon doesn't flirt nearly as often??  There is literally one totally unambiguous example of Shinon flirting with someone and... It Sure Is A Thing.

Shinon: "You know, I try to stay out of relationships. And I’m not saying I want a relationship. But, Princess Leanne, I do hope you live."

I hope somebody read that and is haunted by it for as long as I've been.  He's like?? negging her???  He's literally negging her, he's negging Leanne of all people, I don't know how else to describe it.  Most of the A-supports in RD take on some vaguely romantic undertones (Leanne herself basically proposes to anyone she has an A-support with-- Leanne is canon bi, u heard it here folks), so naturally most of Shinon's have him saying that it's not like he gets attached to other soldiers, he doesn't have friends or anything, by the way Apostle Sanaki, his mom never hugged him, you know.  No, really, that line is real and Sanaki-exclusive:

Shinon: "You know, I’m not very sentimental. My mother never hugged me. Anyway… Apostle Sanaki, you’re kinda key. You should live. I hope we both make it ’til the bitter end!"

Just a few other highlights of Shinon making an ass out of himself:

Shinon: "You know, I never thought I’d say this, but… King Naesala, I’m thinkin’ you should live. Don’t ask me why! Just a crazy notion. Maybe I like you?"

Shinon: "You know, I’m not one for making friends and being nice. But, Caineghis, I gotta say, you are one bad laguz. In a good way! Hang in there."

Of course, if Shinon is responding to someone else's encouragements to stay alive or declaration of some form of affection, he's still a massive tool about it:

Shinon: "Don’t try to tie me down with that. But I’ll think about it. Maybe."

ANYWAY, Shinon is BAD at letting people know they matter to him and is just as bad at responding to people letting him know that he matters to them!  Like, he's obviously attached to Gatrie and Rolf even if he doesn't care for most of the Greil Mercenaries, Gatrie at least is very obviously his friend, as is whoever he gets an A-support in RD with. It really seems like he just isn't really sure how to... say that. We also see a little bit of him having trouble processing other people caring about him in PoR support with Rolf too:

Rolf: "The first time I went into battle, my feet were shaking because I was so scared. But then I held the bow that you made for me, and it gave me strength. And I said, 'Rolf! You can do this!' I learned absolutely everything from you! That's how I've stayed alive this whole time." Shinon: "...But why on earth... Why would you depend on me like that? I mean, I just I taught you how to fire the bow on a whim."

Just a quick note on Gatrie's RD supports before I move on: Because all of the support dialogue is generic fill-in-the-name, it's really tough to figure out who's being talked to unless they have a unique title, so I can't say for sure what Shinon and Gatrie's supports look like or who Gatrie's supposed to be talking to at all in most of his.  I don't??? see a clear gender distinction with his more generic lines??  Like he has a few variations that don't involve calling someone a king or Apostle, but they pretty much all follow  the same pattern of acting like he had no idea the other person would be there, What A Coincidence, for the C-support, showboating a bit and telling them that he'll protect them (so long as they're okay with that) for the B-support, and saying that he'd never let anything happen to them If They Could Please Survive for the A-support.  No clear romantic cues in any of them, which is a little strange given his continuing characterization as a Big Flirt With The Ladies.  Arguably he's sorta flirting with everyone, since, like I said, a lot of the RD supports come across as romantic??  He's just finally being low-key about it for once.

When Shinon finally comes back as an enemy in PoR, he doesn't give a shit that he used to work with the Greil Mercenaries, he'll fight em no problem... or so he says.  The more I look at his dialogue for this chapter, the more I think that he was really hoping it wouldn't happen.  He gives some of them pep talks, tries to write the whole thing off as business, but he also encourages some of them to just... avoid him?  Like he'll still attack them after the conversation, but he clearly doesn't want to.  Some examples:

Rhys: "Shinon!" Shinon: "...Oh, Rhys. Great. I can't believe I've run into you." Rhys: "It is great, isn't it? Oh, it's good to have you back. When you left us, I was really worried about what would happen, but--" Shinon: "Hey, Rhys? Shut up. In case you hadn't noticed...we're enemies out here." Rhys: "What? You can't... You're not serious, are you?" Shinon: "You honestly never thought this could happen? You're beyond good natured. You're a fool." Rhys: "Shinon... What are you saying? You've always been gruff, but...Are you serious?" Shinon: "It's not like this is the first time I've called you out. You've never considered that people may not like you, have you? Know what? We were companions once, but if I'm getting paid, I'll gladly put an arrow through your eye." Rhys: "Shinon... Is there something you can't tell us that's forcing you to do this? Are you protecting someone? Has someone you love been taken hostage? If so, we could--" Shinon: "No! There's nothing! Nothing but the right price, at least... You're overestimating me. Get going, pretty boy. Stick around any longer, and I'll start earning my pay with you!"

Mist: "Shi-Shinon? Ohmigosh...Why are you with the Daein army?!" Shinon: "...Tsk. None of your business, kid." Mist: "But that's... Oh, what should I do? You used to be one of us. I can't fight you!" Shinon: "Stop whining. Didn't you ever think what it means to be a mercenary? We're enemies, kid. Get it? I'm ready to fight when you are. So what's it going to be?" Mist: "...Um..." Shinon: "...Yeah?" Mist: "No! I won't fight you!" Shinon: "Gah! What ARE you going to do then?" Mist: "Come back to the Greil Mercenaries!" Shinon: "What?" Mist: "If you won't do that, then come work for the Crimean army! Please?" Shinon: "Don't be stupid. Either way, Ike's in charge, right?" Mist: "Yes, but I don't--" Shinon: "I won't work for him. Get it? We used to be friends, so I'm going to let you go. Now get your naive little butt out of here!" Mist: "Shinon... Sniff...sniff...Wh-wh-why...? Sniff... Whaaaaaaaaa!" Shinon: "Crying's not going to help. Look, it doesn't matter who you send to talk to me. My answer's the same." Mist: "Even Rolf?" Shinon: "...Yeah. Even Rolf. Get out of here. The next time I see you, I'll stick an arrow in you. Count on it."

Boyd: "Shinon! I couldn’t care less who you decide to work for… Heck, I’d hoped you were dead! But even so, Daein? You couldn’t find anything better than this? What were you thinking?" Shinon: "Haven’t changed a bit, have you? You’re still a mouthy piece of work. Listen up! Daein’s a great place to work right now. The pay’s great, and strength at arms is the only thing that determines class standing. You want to join me?"

Of course, you could definitely argue that Shinon knows that there's no way Boyd will take him up on that offer (he's more or less civil with Oscar but I can't imagine Shinon actually cares about Boyd, given his feelings toward Ike and Soren and how Boyd is also an Annoying Teen), but it's still an out to this fight that doesn't involve Shinon surrendering.  He also basically just tells Mist to steer clear of him instead of fighting her initially and asbolutely does not seem happy to see Rhys and I don't think that's just because Rhys is too much of an angel for Shinon to stomach (although it's that too).  Like instead of starting the fight, he just tells him to scram.  Also I love how Rhys jumps to the conclusion that Daein is holding one of Shinon's loved ones hostage and that's why he's working with them.  Pretty sure that the details of Shinon's personal life are just a mystery to everyone else??  I also love that Shinon calls Rhys "pretty boy" in this conversation, but I don't think there's a whole lot to glean from that.  Of course, Shinon also has some dialogue with Gatrie in this chapter:

Gatrie: "Shi-Shinon? SHINON?! Oh, this can’t be happening! I mean, fighting you… That’s going to be tough." Shinon: "Come on, Gatrie. You can’t be worried about me forever. You’re a mercenary. All you need to do is worry about your own skin. You got it?" Gatrie: "Well, yeah… Heh heh heh… Ahh… Still…this will be a sad day…"

God...  So clearly, Gatrie doesn't want to go through with this, but Shinon gives him a little pep talk that covers roughly the same ground as his conversations with Rolf on this stage.  Gatrie does seem to try to cover up how surprised and upset he is, although it doesn't work too well imo.  Also there's the implication that Gatrie worries about Shinon on a semi-regular basis?  It's not really reflected anywhere else but I'm glad he apparently does because Shinon could probably use someone worrying about him lmao.  Again, Shinon tries to play it off like he doesn't care that he's fighting his old comrades, but honestly I get the vibe that his pep talks to Gatrie and Rolf are self-talk almost as much as he's trying to get them to be okay fighting him.  It's just... a mess tbh.

Once the stage is over, Shinon is FINALLY back and ready for support conversations.  Can u believe that I was pretty much just going to talk about Shinon and Gatrie's support convos in this meta... I can't believe it took me like 7k words to get here, I am so sorry.  Anyway, the number of stages Shinon and Gatrie both need to be deployed in to unlock their C-support is pretty low and is p much automatically met before they leave the Greil Mercenaries.  So Shinon comes back and is immediately ready to start shooting the shit with Gatrie again. And right away, we start with the flirting tbh:

Shinon: "Whatever. See you around." Gatrie: "W-wait! I'm just joking! Stop being so mean and listen for a second!" Shinon: "I will if you buy dinner tonight." Gatrie: "Mmmm... Oh, all right. But you better give me good advice!"

Remember how Gatrie gave Ilyana like a million presents as a prelude to asking if he could buy her dinner?  He's just gotta talk to Shinon for like five seconds and there Shinon is, asking him to buy him dinner, and Gatrie's like "Okay sure."  Shinon's dialogue also suggests that the two of them eat dinner together by themselves pretty regularly. We also see that, even tho Shinon acts annoyed with Gatrie a lot of the time, the negative feedback he's giving here is... honestly pretty fair and probably legit intended to be helpful??:

Gatrie: "But every time I spend money, you give me a hard time!" Shinon: "I do? How?" Gatrie: "What about the other day, when I bought the Ultimate Shield?!" Shinon: "Gatrie, that was a castle gate. Hey, did you ever give that back? That guard thought you were a thief." Gatrie: "And remember the SpeedBring 4000? That secret elixir that boosts speed just by sprinkling it over your body--" Shinon: "You mean that putrid snake oil? You dumped the whole bottle on your head without smelling it first." Gatrie: "But that wonderful little potion worked! I DID move faster!" Shinon: "You moved faster because thirty stray dogs were chasing you."

WOW Gatrie's gullible.  Shinon is definitely a jackass but it really does seem like he's trying to look out for Gatrie on this front.  Maybe Shinon's line about Gatrie worrying about him was more self-talk?

Gatrie's not totally afraid to call Shinon out on his being a jackass though, which is good.  He also apologizes when he thinks he's actually made Shinon upset:

Gatrie: "See! You're giving me a hard time again!" Shinon: "Oh, did I hurt your feelings? Wow, it sure is fun to tell you the truth and have you grumble at me in return." Gatrie: "No, no! I didn't mean to... Er... Sorry..." Shinon: "Hmm... You're too honest sometimes..." Gatrie: "Hee hee! You're embarrassing me!" Shinon: "All right, let's go eat! Now that's spending wisely!" Gatrie: "Yeah, let's... Wait a minute, Shinon! You didn't help me at all! This isn't part of the deal!"

Okay, I have to take a second to roast Shinon for almost exactly saying "Did I hurt your precious feelings?"  Jfc, he's talking like some shitty anti-SJ blogger... Red and black blog theme... Logic and rationality are the arrows in his quiver... Pictures of anime titty girls... Welcome to his twisted mind...  Chill the fuck out, dude.  He's messing with Gatrie though and doesn't let it go on too long. Honestly, it feels like flirty teasing to me?  As has been established, Shinon is Extremely Bad at flirting.  And Gatrie reacts to this Possible Bad Flirting by... giggling and telling Shinon that he's embarrassing him.  Like that's just a gay line of dialogue and nothing about the context makes it less gay tbh.  Gatrie has been Flirted With and seems to be responding positively.  The rest of the support takes a step back from that, though, and focuses on Gatrie's efforts to Woo A Lady.

Gatrie: "I really want to ask you something. Right now!" Shinon: "No, Gatrie." Gatrie: "I'll pay for dinner again." Shinon: "Get lost." Gatrie: "We'll eat somewhere more expensive tonight." Shinon: "Appetizers?" Gatrie: "Sure! You can order anything you want!" Shinon: "All right, then. I think I can spare some time for my brother-in-arms." Gatrie: "Aw, thanks Shinon! I owe you one!"

A couple things here.  One, Gatrie obviously respects Shinon's opinion/advice even tho it's unnecessarily harsh.  Two, he's totally aware that the way to get Shinon to answer his question is to offer to take him somewhere nicer.  I mean, free food is a Powerful Motivator, but I'm so sure there's something else going on on Shinon's end here.  Three, Gatrie, you're buying him dinner...  I don't think you really owe him anything else.  Gatrie's sleazy as hell, but he somehow manages to be innocent and sweet at the same time, idk how he does it.

Gatrie has a hell of a time actually asking his question though.

Shinon: "...Well? What do you want?" Gatrie: "Well, actually... What I need to ask you is..." Shinon: "Spit it out!" Gatrie: "Well, it's... Oh, I don't know. Do you really want to hear it?" Shinon: "Do that one more time, and I'll put an arrow through your eye!" Gatrie: "W-wait! Just a minute! I'll tell you now... Are you ready?" Shinon: "Aaaaaarrrgh!" Gatrie: "Ihaveanewgirlfriend!!!!" Shinon: "A new girlfriend? Is she blind or something?"

Aaaand he immediately gets negged for his efforts.  Shinon is definitely not immediately happy that Gatrie's seeing someone and Gatrie seems to know that that's going to be the case.  I chalk this up to jealousy on Shinon's part and Gatrie having some dim awareness of how Shinon feels.  Shinon cleans his act up pretty quickly though, thank fuck.  Gatrie's his friend first and given how much time Gatrie spends flirting with ladies, I doubt Shinon thinks this is going anywhere anyway.

Shinon: "Well, I'm happy for you. Oh, I see. You want to ask me what kind of gift to give her, right?" Gatrie: "Tee hee hee! Yeah, that's right! What should I give her?" Shinon: "I know everything there is to know about gift giving, my friend. I'll tell you all about it over a fine meal." Gatrie: "Please do, romance master!"

Romance master. Wow.  So Gatrie thinks that Shinon is like... good at this stuff. I mean, it's totally possible that if Shinon finds himself in a relationship, he does romantic stuff and is actually good at it.  I can see that.  He'd keep a closely guarded secret though, I think, considering his idea of flirting seems to include telling someone that he's not interested in relationships in general and he's not looking for a relationship with THEM, he just doesn't want them to die. Like, my dude... wanting someone to not die doesn't even vaguely imply u wanna date or anything, like when I hear "I do you hope you live," my mind doesn't go anywhere near any type of attraction.  I doubt that Gatrie got his entire ""technique"" from Shinon though, since he's really heavy on the compliments and upfront about his intentions, which is basically the opposite of what Shinon does in practice.  Still, Gatrie seems to dig it!! Someone has to, I guess!!

Of course, this relationship doesn't pan out for Gatrie.  Actually, none of them do?  Skipping ahead to the semi-tragic ending, Shinon and Gatrie never get it together, and for all his efforts at wooing, Gatrie never gets it together with anyone:

Perpetual Guardian (護る盾, Mamoru tate, lit. Protective Shield) Gatrie became a famous mercenary and a household name. Fate led him to find many women but never true love.

Shinon doesn't either, although his RD epilogue reads a bit more sad to me?

Deadly Adept (百の手, Crack Shot in the Japanese version) Shinon lazes the days away in his old haunts. An expert at all he put his hand to, he chose none as his calling.

I mean, if he's content, he's content, and the driving force behind his ambition in PoR is being able to live comfortably, which it sounds like he's doing??  But, predictably I guess since the dude has a definite habit of pushing people away, Shinon's ending sounds p damn lonely.  The reference to "old haunts" especially makes me feel like this isn't really supposed to be a good ending for him?  Still, I do hope he's happy with how things worked out for him.  Anyway, on to their PoR A-support to end on a high note.

Gatrie: "..." Shinon: "What the...?" Gatrie: "..." Shinon: "Why are you standing out here like a scarecrow?" Gatrie: "Hey, Shinon. I'm just waiting for my girlfriend." Shinon: "Oh. Her. Right. You're still dating?"

For the record, Shinon is smiling for that last line, so it's not SO blatantly him being jealous of Nameless Girl like I first thought it was when I was just reading the text.  He ends up being the one to hear out Gatrie's story about how he got engaged to her and then gave her all of his money but she's late to their meeting tonight.  So he also ends up being the one to express concern that Gatrie rushed this relationship and the one to break the news that she conned him.

Gatrie: "She knows I'm with this army, and... And..." Shinon: "Gatrie? She's not coming. You've been conned." Gatrie: "Whaaat!? No, I don't believe it! She's such a fine girl! So pure and kind! She'd never hornswoggle ol' Gatrie!" Shinon: "How can someone with only days left to live manage to walk the streets looking for a knight with lots of money?" Gatrie: "Because... Because she needed to meet me! It's fate! Remember?" Shinon: "Then why isn't she here?" Gatrie: "B-because... Um... Wolves?" Shinon: "No, Gatrie. It's not wolves."

He's a LOT gentler about this than he was about Gatrie's other bad deals. Like he knows this is gonna hurt Gatrie, so he's not gonna mess around about it. Gatrie takes it pretty damn well though.  Shinon is madder than Gatrie is?

Gatrie: "Oh... Hee hee! Hee hee hee! I guess ol' Gatrie... Whaa ha ha! I guess I got taken again! Whaa ha ha ha... Whooo! Oh man, I'll never learn." Shinon: "Tell me what she looks like." Gatrie: "Huh? Why?" Shinon: "All your money? That's going too far. I'll find her and...get it back."

Shinon's willing to Go To Bat for Gatrie when it comes down to it.  Of course, Gatrie is arguably too nice about this and says he's fine with it, Shinon doesn't need to do all that.

Shinon: "Sigh... You're hopeless, Gatrie. You know that?" Gatrie: "Yeah, I know. But I don't mind so much. It makes me kinda charming, right?" Shinon: "Well, I guess you don't have to worry about what to do with your money anymore." Gatrie: "Yeah, that's right. Hey, if you look at it that way, it's a blessing in disguise!"

Check it out: That fucking instant subject change when Gatrie asks if his gullibility makes him charming.  Shinon neither confirms nor denies that shit!! Like I said, I don't think Shinon expects this to actually go anywhere and even if he did, now would Not be the time.  Shinon's not about to make a move or anything, but he does make an effort to cheer Gatrie up:

Shinon: "Let's go find a watering hole with some cute waitresses. What do you say?" Gatrie: "Hey, that's a great idea! Oh, but... I don't have any money. Sorry, Shinon. Maybe some other time." Shinon: "Forget it. It's my treat." Gatrie: "Are...are you sure?" Shinon: "Yep." Gatrie: "Hee hee hee!" Shinon: "What's so funny?" Gatrie: "Supper on your gold piece? This is my lucky day!" Shinon: "Hopeless."

So FINALLY Shinon takes Gatrie out for dinner for once.  He's smiling fondly when he calls Gatrie hopeless that last time, he's very obviously feeling some sort of affection.  I think you can make a case that he's talking to himself a little bit too... Like Gatrie is a Disaster and yet... This is who Shinon likes... They're both hopeless tbh.  They definitely don't have the healthiest romantic dynamic, I have to admit that, but??? There is Something there.  Like Shinon is too flirty with Gatrie (he gets the guy to buy him dinner HOW OFTEN, like that is a Fake Date, Shinon is making an organized effort to Fake Date Gatrie as a substitute for Real Dating him) and Gatrie is honestly pretty receptive to it??  My personal headcanon for the situation is that Shinon has A Thing for Gatrie that he kind of tries to ignore but he also cares about Gatrie as a person and wants to be there for him when shit's rough and is enough of a decent person deep down that he wants to be happy for Gatrie a little bit, like he's probably Considered ruining Gatrie's fucking life all the time just because he's jealous but he always talks himself down from that shit because like... Bad, while Gatrie is??? sorta into this, he definitely likes Shinon and even Like likes him a bit, but he's too bogged down in heteronormativity to connect the dots about the feelings on either side (I say this sympathetically, I have Been There once upon a time).  I believe in him tho... He'll figure his shit out eventually...

Like I said way earlier, they can handle each other's personalities, like Gatrie doesn't even to seem to CARE that Shinon is massive dick, he p much just manages to brush it off.  And for all that Shinon complains about Gatrie being gullible and annoying, he's sure not going anywhere.  So when Shinon tries to neg Gatrie or w/e, Gatrie barely notices the insult part and sticks around.  And Gatrie basically can't do his typical Big Flirt because that depends on the person he's flirting with thinking he's cool and suave and Shinon already KNOWS that Gatrie's not really either of those things (at least not by the definition that Gatrie is going for), like he knows whatever incident Gatrie is referring to when he talks about "that business with the dragon" and I am so so sure it's not nearly as impressive as that summary makes it sounds (like if it wasn't something he was Completely making up, he probably just... got rid of a big lizard from someone's tent or something) and Shinon would def call that shit out.  Gatrie goes to him for advice a lot and is p much just himself around Shinon??  So like, not that he'd never try and not that Shinon wouldn't probably just laugh at him (which isn't strictly a negative response), but Gatrie kinda dug himself into the hole of Being Genuine with Shinon at some point, which I think is a much more stable starting point for a romantic relationship than how he approaches the women he's interested in.  Basically I don't... see them having a successful long-term romantic relationship with anyone else??  GOD I really did not want to end this meta like that, but I'm finally running out of stuff I wanted to say lmao.  Anyway, basically all of this was just to say that I love their dynamic even tho it's a lil messed up and there's def a Something going on there in canon imo altho I doubt it's an Official Relationship.  Hoooly fuck if you read all of that, thank u.