#proper rambling lmao

[wayfayrr]

you ever think how the chain would handle an airport?

I think it'd be baddddd between wind and wild ngl

[starstrike]

Mithrun's desire as an SA analogue

TW discussion of SA and detailed breakdown of aesthetics evoking SA. The way I discuss this is vivid in a way that may be triggering, though there is no discussion of actual sexual assault. Just survivor's responses to it.

People relate to Mithrun and see his condition as an analogue for a few different things, like brain injury or depression. And I think all of them are there. But I also see Mithrun's story as an SA analogue, and Ryoko Kui intentionally evokes those aesthetics. I think it's a part of Mithrun's character that a lot of people miss, but I very much consider it text. This is partially inspired by @heird99's post on what makes this scene so disturbing; so check out their post, too :)

So to start off with, the demon invades Mithrun's bed, specifically. There's even a canopy around it, which specifically evokes this idea of personal intrusion; the barrier is being pulled apart without consent or warning. The way the hand reaches towards Mithrun's body from outside of the panel division makes it almost look like the goat stroking over his body. It's an especially creepy visual detail; similarly, the goat's right hand parts into the side of the panel as well. It's literally like it's tearing the page apart; but gently. So gently.

Mithrun is in bed. It is his bed that the demon is intruding on. He's in a position of intimacy. The woman behind him is a facsimile of his "beloved" that he left behind; the woman who, in reality, chose Mithrun's brother. He is in bed with his fantasy lover, who is leaning over him. While this scene isn't explicitly sexual, it is intimate. And it is being invaded. The goat lifts Mithrun gently, who is confused, but not yet struggling.

The erotics of consumption and violence in Ryoko Kui's work(remember that the word 'erotic' can have many different meanings, please) are a... notable part of some of her illustrations. I would say she blurs the lines between all forms of desire: personal, sexual, gustatory and carnal, in her illustrations in order to emphasize the pure desire she wants to work with and evoke to serve her themes. Kui deploys sexual imagery in a lot of places in Dungeon Meshi, and this is one of them.

In this case, horrifically. The goat's assault begins with drooling, licking, and nuzzling. The goat could be enjoying and "playing with" its food. But it can also be interpreted as it "preparing" Mithrun with its tongue as it begins to literally breach Mithrun's body. The goat also invades directly through his clothing; that adds another level of disturbing to me. There's nothing Mithrun can do in this moment of violation. Mithrun is fighting, but he is fighting weakly, trying to grip on and push away when he has no ability or option to. All he can do is beg the goat to stop. And it doesn't care. This all evokes sexual assault.

The sixth panel demonstrates a somewhat sexual position, with Mithrun's thighs spread around the goat's hunched over body. In the next, the goat pulls and holds apart Mithrun's thighs as he nuzzles into him. The way the clothing bunches up looks a bit as if it has been pushed up. It has pinned Mithrun down onto the bed, into Mithrun's soft furs and pillows. It takes a place made to be supernaturally warm and comfortable, and violates it. It's utterly and intimately horrifying. To me, this sequence of positions directly evokes a rape scene. I think Kui did this very explicitly. These references to sexual invasion are part of what makes this scene so disturbing; albeit, to many viewers, subconsciously.

This is also the moment the goat takes Mithrun's eye. Other than this, the goat seems exceptionally strong, but also... gentle. It holds Mithrun's body tightly, but moves it around slowly. It doesn't need to hurt Mithrun physically. But in that moment, it takes Mithrun's eye. Blood seeps from a wound while an orifice that should not be pierced is penetrated. This moment, the ooze of blood in one place specifically, also evokes rape. That single bit of physical gore is a very powerful bit of imagery to me.

Finally; it is Mithrun's desire that is eaten. After his assault, Mithrun can find no pleasure in things that he once did. He is fully disassociated from his emotions. This is a common response to trauma, especially in the case of SA. It's not uncommon for people to never, or take a long time to, enjoy sex in the same way again; or at all. They might feel like their rapist has robbed them of a desire and pleasure they once had. I think this makes Mithrun's lack of desire a partial analogue for the trauma of sexual assault.

Mithrun's desire for revenge was, supposedly, all that remained. Anger at his assaulter, anger at every being that was like it; though, perhaps not anger. Devotion, in a way. To his cause. I don't know. But the immediate desire to seek revenge is another response to SA. But on to Mithrun's true feelings on the matter.

This is... So incredibly tragic. Mithrun feels used up. Like his best parts have been taken away. Like he's being... tossed aside. This certainly parallels the way assault victims can feel after being left by an abuser. Or the way assault victims feel they might be "ruined" forever for other partners. These are common sentiments for survivors to carry, and need to overcome. In the text, it's almost like Mithrun feels the only being who can desire him is a demon who might "finish devouring" him. That that's his only use. It's worth noting that Mithrun trusted the demon. Mithrun's world was built by the demon, and Mithrun, in that way, was cared for by the demon. I think this reinforces Mithrun's place as a victim.

There's also something to be said about Mithrun as a victim of his own possessive romantic and sexual desire. The mirror shows him his beloved just dining with his brother, and it infuriates him. He doesn't know if the vision is real, nor if she has really chosen his brother as a romantic partner. The goat then creates a whole fantasy world where she loves him. As Mithrun's dungeon deteriorates, she is the only person that continues to exist. Mithrun continues to have control over her. And that is the strongest desire the demon is eating, isn't it? There's something interesting there, but I don't know what to say about it.

In conclusion, I think Mithrun's story is an explicit analogue for sexual assault-- though, certainly, among other things! The way the scene plays out and is composed explicitly references sexual violation and invasion of the body. His condition mirrors common trauma responses to sexual violence. And, at the end, he finally realizes he can recover.

Let's end on a happy Mithrun, after taking the first step on his journey to recovery :) You aren't vegetable scraps Mithrun. But even if you were-- every single thing in this world has value. Even vegetable scraps.

[fryday]

the glass photo. look, you just cannot tell me phil didn't notice the way dan was looking at him in that photo. you wanna say "oh maybe the hilarity of what was going on in the photo overshadowed it and he forgot when he was choosing it to post" but i don't buy that, not from phil "that means you have to live with me tooi mean - you aND all my other friends" lester. he is so aware of his audience and how we interpret the things they do. he would not have picked this photo without some due consideration first.

i literally barely noticed the glass initially, as i'm sure most of us didn't—dan and his huge gentle eyes literally arrest you first thing—and phil didn't put any explanation of the photo in his actual tweet, and it was the first photo of the lineup. come on. seriously!!

is there a metaphor in there somewhere? sure? something about the glass closet and transparency and the distractions/cover-ups/minimisations they're traditionally known for starting to fade into the background. yeah okay. but a metaphor is almost unnecessary to see what's here in this photo. dan is the obvious thing. the very obvious thing. his eyes & the way they're turned on phil in the quietest most adoring way anyone's ever looked at another person in the history of humanity. i can't see how phil didn't notice that when he posted it. i'm just saying.

or maybe i'm projecting everything & i just love finding meaning and intention and symbolism in everything dnp do. possible! but i wanted to write this post anyway. so here you go. :)

edit: i have to add, this becomes extra diabolical when you see how perfectly the picture is cropped in the collage before you click on it

[coyoteclan]

I'm a little late to the party but man. What a cool cat huh

@fallenclan's Lee as a (not so quick) warm-up :)

[acediscowlng]

okay but does anyone know what manga is actually on niko's shelf???? are they even real titles??? my friend and i have been looking and nothing???

[damnation-if]

hey!! can i ask for a color palatte description for the ro's? like what their hair/eye colors are?

hope you're having a good week 💙💙💙

Hi!

I spent a long time putting together a graphic for this before I realised that you asked for just a description haha... oops. well. here is the graphic anyway XD

If you're looking for a link to the page with more general descriptions, there are some on the RO's page.

Very sorry for the delay in replying! My life is. hectic. smdnfgbsfgf

[branwinged]

proposing eye contact as an alternate ship name for jonelias in honour of mag 120 eye contact ofc wherein elias records his nightmares/dreams because he's a freak and also because he knows jon would want to hear the tape i.e. feeding your archivist a statement on the topic of himself which you personally extracted from him. in a feedback loop of feeding their god! (actually got sidetracked here but do you ever think about how jonah/elias did two proper original statements in the podcast and they're both about jon and one time he did a joint statement with the archivist — mag 193 a stern look — which is also really about jon "why did you heed the call? / because this is the place i know i should be" gothic romance. to me) and anyway yeah mag 120 eye contact which also had totally normal lines such as: "He. Is. Whole." also because they're. y'know. eye avatars. the only ones left even. whatever i'll leave...

[chuluoyi]

aaaa i’m squealing >< my popular guy college crush is now in the same community group as me and apparently he’s noticed me all these years🥹

[sophisticatedheart]

complete collection of refs for my bsd s/i oscar wilde, including some aus :] click for better quality/to see details better

+ bonus

[autumnalfallingleaves]

Holy shit I'm done with college

Yeah it's just hitting me now. What

[menlove]

I think the thing for me is, if I put myself in Paul's shoes of being in love with John and believing he's straight, I would probably just assume that John did all that crazy shit to hurt me for no real reason. Which did seem to be Paul's perspective to be fair, and I can only imagine how much more insanity-inducing it would be for him to be told by Yoko or whoever that John had feelings for him, probably thinking for a long time "well it sure didn't fucking feel like it!!"

HSGSHSH THATS THE THING UNFORTUNATELY..... LIKE....... I do truly think this is what happened. To Me. and add to it his doubts after johns death that john ever loved/liked him Which He's Voiced...... man. although I do think they understood each other better than that so I feel like. hm. In My Mind. I have no proof of this just going on vibes alone & a like 3 hour conversation with @o-boogies abt literally this exact thing last night. it's like. To Me? he was so assured of John's love (in whatever manner) for so long so then when it's not there & john has not only moved on but is trashing him publicly and saying they were never close it's like the rug was ripped out from under him & he wasn't sure if he ever understood or knew john as well as he thought he did. like I DO think he knew john loved him and just had repression a mile long (like. he did nearly beat a man to death this is such a vital detail about johns Gay Internal Drama). but only After things fell apart did he come to doubt that & I think it took a lot of people going "yeah no he did Love You (in whatever form)" to like. soothe that? but when you listen to his solo stuff it's....... god it's SO raw how much he is just SCREAMING for John to look at him and love him and see him. like even before his solo career we have songs like oh! darling and I will (.....& the "can you take me back" jam which I will consistently and always overanalyze)

I don't however....... hm. I don't think they ever had A Clear Moment is part of the whole issue. like idk that either of them necessarily "rejected" the other more than they were both just incredibly bad at communicating and wanted to rely on telepathy which is not a real thing that exists. so for Both Of Them the whole thing was like a punch to the face. for john because he just desperately wanted paul to React and for paul bc this relationship he had been very assured in was suddenly twisted into something very ugly and depressing

who was straight who was bi who was gay I Have No Clue I just know those two loved each other so deeply and hurt each other so badly and WANTED to be more (whether u subscribe to the idea that they were strictly in an unspoken emotional thing or the idea that they Have Fucked Nasty).

[sketchy-tour]

Next thing I REALLY wanna finish is an outfit sheet for Dandy. Like a real readable one and not just referencing a couple doodles I've done of them in outfits I've made on the spot.

Would make commissioning them in diff outfits easier lmao.

[zhongrin]

just life situation ramblings utc

i may have found the perfect room.

aside from the rent (which is twice as expensive as what i'm paying rn), the room looks nice and i already know the house + location + house rules + landlady, since i already went to view another room in the very same house prior to today.

i just feel like i'm indirectly being told it's the right place by whatever power is running the universe atp, because i already liked this house the most out of the other options ー it's just that the previous room i saw was a little small and it's been claimed by another tenant now. but then the landlady contacted me again and offered me a bigger room with the same price because the tenant is moving out at the end of this year. which is perfect because i plan to move next year. and just today i found out the gym franchise i used to regularly go to has an outlet 4 stations away. it's ticking so many boxes aside from the 💰, but i think that's something i will have to put up with regardless, because all the other rooms want the same price or even higher these days.

going viewing this wednesday. wish me luck 🤞🏻

[babacontainsmultitudes]

So I made this post a little while ago regarding dndads characters and the tma entities and didn't really include any explanations cause that would have been very very long for a somewhat niche post. But, if you'll humor me, I feel compelled to make the quickest case for Vast! Taylor cause I'm thinking about him lol, and specifically without even getting into personality traits, I just want to point to Taylor's track record and note that he (off the top of my head):

Climbed to the top of the tallest tree he could find and shot a clone of himself off of it

Had to be physically held back from jumping off the highest floor of a twelve story building

Did a high-dive into an ocean of paper and abandoned Normal in said ocean of paper.

Had the chance to at least partially spare Scary from the damage of a very high fall. Didn't.

Submitting this as evidence to the court, people of the jury thank you for your time.

[cuteniaarts]

2 hour rough drawing of Ehuang, my precious Green Opal child who I don’t draw nearly enough <3

[chaosinstigator]

I’m still pissed about not having gotten my glen daniel content last week😭