#ps: I'm still working on fics lol

[qs63]

Roy's lack of self-preservation

This took me a long time to write. Sorry about that. My health took a hit this past month (Don't worry, I'm alright).

Here is a bit of a deconstruction of Roy's character, the way he sees himself, and how that translates into a complete lack of self-preservation.

Roy's fatalism

For someone who is supposedly an idealist Roy sure has a fatalist view of life.

In the OVA "Yet another man's battlefield", Roy tells Hughes that he wants to defend his country and doesn't care if he dies doing so. To which Hughes replies that he doesn't want to die for the sake of anything (ironic, I know). Two years later, when Riza asks Roy not to die, he responds that he can't guarantee he won't die like a piece of trash on the sideway.

You could argue that Roy is being realistic, but I disagree. Roy is after all an idealist by his own admission, and this fatalistic POV is a complete contradiction to the naive way in which he regards his role as a soldier — as a protector rather than as a murderer, which Kimblee later calls out during Ishval. Not to mention that this is unusually pessimistic coming from a young person. See the way Hughes, Heathcliff, and even Riza talk about their own goals in the military. None of them is constantly reaffirming their own mortality.

Perhaps, this comes from Roy's Alchemist nature— from the deep ingrained belief of equivalent exchange. Perhaps, it comes from the characters' unknown past. Whatever the reason, there's no denying that to Roy his own life is something he is willing to trade off for the greater good. By this I doesn't mean he is suicidal. He is not. What I mean is that for Roy everything else comes before his own survival, and this is something that reflects in much more than just his speech.

Roy's reckless fighting style

We all remember Riza sweeping in to Roy's rescue when he's about to fight Scar under the rain. This is not an accident or him just being forgetful. Roy is actually arrogant to the point of recklessness when it comes to his own abilities. He's the sort of person that stages an intricate plan to rescue one soldier from execution, and then marches himself right into the wolf's mouth because he is THAT confident he can deal with any repercussions.

Which… he is not, but he has good reasons to believe he is.

It is easy to overlook because the main characters are alchemists, but Alchemy is very rare and powerful in the world of FMA. It is the sole reason Amestris is a superpower despite being such a small country. In the manga (not so much in Brotherhood), we are constantly reminded that normal people don't understand Alchemy, and the State Alchemists are dehumanized, often compared to human weapons, monsters, and/or gods.

Roy's alchemy, in particular, is extremely dangerous. Even among the Homunculi, there are few individuals that can stand up to the might of Roy's full power. This is why he believes himself invincible. Ishval taught Roy the strength of Flame alchemy, and the horrors it can cause in the wrong hands. As its wielder this makes Roy powerful and dangerous.

A monster among humans.

As such in Roy's mind he's an invincible monster whose life is unimportant when compared to his goals and the life of those he's sworn to protect. This is why for Roy facing actual monsters (the Homunculi) is such a humbling and humanizing experience. This is why he tells Riza:

Now you see why Roy marches forward recklessly and without hesitation. It's a combination of his lack of self-worth, and the knowledge that he wields a power few people can match.

But Roy's lack of self-preservation goes even beyond his speech and fighting style.

Roy's lifestyle

This mentality that he is a monster whose only purpose is to serve others permeates Roy's lifestyle. The idea that Riza is the stern one that takes her job too seriously and that Roy is the frivolous one that prefers to enjoy life is hilariously ironic. The narrative shows us almost the opposite story.

We see Riza out doing groceries on her day off. We see her shopping clothes with Rebecca. We see her taking Hayate out for walks. We see her having a shower after work and putting on comfy clothes at home. We see her having a life outside of the military, even if adjacent to it.

In the meantime, Roy is always in the office. He sleeps in the break room. He cleans himself in the public restroom. He eats in the mess hall. Badly so at times as we get a comment about his weight from Armstrong. When he goes out on dates or to drink, we are shown he's actually gathering intel. The one time we see him in his apartment he's sleeping on the goddamn couch still in his crumpled uniform.

There are no comfy Pjs in his home. No long showers. No pets to keep him company. No days off with his friends.

And this all makes sense, because monsters that only exist to protect others don't need comfort.

They need to make themselves useful.

When Riza tells Roy to think more of himself. When Riza tells Ed that Roy will pay the price alone and make sure his subordinates escape punishment. When Arakawa jokes that Riza needs to remind Roy how to take care of himself. It is because Roy has never bothered to keep himself alive beyond what's needed to fulfill his duties, and Riza knows it.

Roy is a barely functional human disaster with zero sense of self-preservation. The only reason he's alive is because he's had people like Hughes (vs Heathcliff), Riza (so many times), and even the Elrics (vs gluttony) sweep in and save his ass every time he's about to kick the bucket.

--

I have some theories and headcanons about why Roy might have ended up being this way. I will maybe post them on a later date.

Thanks for reading! ^ ^

[ki-yomii]

helloo! could you recommend your favorite jungkook and yoongi fics? thank you and have a lovely day ♡

hey there~ 💛

... tbh i haven’t read too many fics for my boys lately 🙈

i've been trying to work through the books sitting on my shelf collecting dust + i got sucked back into fallout now that the show is out lol.

but i do have some all-time favorites!!

please mind the warnings/tags - you're responsible for your own reading consumption. that said, all of these fics are 🔞

i hope you have a great day nonnie and if you have any recs send them my way 🥰!

JUNG KOOK FICS

the crimson shell series by @angelicyoongie

mermaid aus are my lifeblood istg. and this is one of the best one's i've ever read!! it's dark, it's creepy, it's foreboding - and tantalizing. everything i love about mermaid/siren aus crammed into one series.

you had always found comfort in being at the beach, often spending hours just watching the waves lap against the shore. but unbeknowst to you – something had been watching you back.

make you mine two-shot by @colormepurplex2

i'm a sucker for abo, and as such, have read a looot of it over the years. its a genre that's very easy to descend into wtf-how-are-they-still-alive-after-THAT territory but this fic does it very well in a way i haven't seen too often. i loved the world-building and set up.

Alphas might rule the world, but Jungkook finds himself being ruled by the need to make you his. Omegas are rare, precious, and pliant. At least, most are. When you present late, well into your twenties, you're already set in your headstrong ways; a challenge even for a commanding alpha like Jungkook. Add to that the centuries-long feud between your families and the last thing anyone expected was for him to claim you as his soulmate.

a sea of indigo series by @foxymoxynoona this was the first BTS fic i ever read... and is a big reason as to why i got into the fandom in the first place. i had no clue who they were before then. i'd heard of them + listened to agust d without knowing it was yoongi 💀 but this fic made me check out BTS RUN and now here we are 🤪

Pitbull Hybrid Jungkook has finally been freed from the fighting rings, and now finds himself at Marigold Sanctuary & Transition Estate, a place for healing and self-discovery for rescued hybrids. It's stupid, dumb, cheesy, and hell-bent on helping Jungkook "heal" and "find himself" and "decide the course of his life." And right at the center of it is Y/N, a nurse who's got everyone bamboozled that she's like some awesome person. She's not that great. Jungkook hates it here.

YOONGI FICS

witch oneshot by @sailoryooons

this is easily one of my top 3 yoongi fics. the world building, the tension, the relationship between yoongi and reader. it ticks all my boxes and vividly paints a picture of this universe. i adore the concept, and love the way this fic is brought to life through sailoryooons storytelling.

For years, you and Yoongi have played cat and mouse. It’s his duty to rid the world of witches, but he always finds a new excuse to let you slip through his fingers. When you find yourself at his mercy, you wonder if the great witch hunter will finally end your game of chase, or if there’s something that will stay his hand. 

desolate series by @angelicyoongie

one of the first hybrid fics i've read for bts 😭 i love my lil meow meow and the set-up for this fic is amazing. it takes a fresh direction with the hybrid trope and builds a relationship that feels organic and progresses very naturally💛

you just wanted a cute little normal cat to keep you company. so you're not really sure how you ended up with the grumpiest hybrid on earth that seems hellbent on making your life difficult.

ps. i woof you oneshot by @gimmesumsuga

this one is just so so cute and asjhdjsghfjs!! i adored remi and thought about having yoongi and holly as neighbors for days after reading this lol.

The one with a happy accident of the furry, four-legged kind - “Are you calling my dog a slut?!” 

first and last and always oneshot by @floralseokjin

i'm not one for holiday fics/aus usually but there's something about this one that i absolutely adored. it felt very realistic and drew me into the relationship within the first few paragraphs. the angst is so well done and heartfelt, it made me cry lol.

You and Yoongi broke up two months ago. It was mutual, you’re positive, but there’s one teeny tiny issue... You never told your parents, and now they’ve invited you back home for Christmas. Both of you. You can’t say no, but you also can’t bear to go alone, so you do the only thing you can think of, plead with Yoongi to come with you and pretend like everything’s okay...

go send these authors some love!!

[deliciousangelfestival]

You can totally ignore my idea lol but what about a fluffy/angsty fic about Steve Rogers or Bucky Barnes being turned into a baby/toddler by Tony on accident. But because they are babies they just want to be around and held by “Y/N” and get mad or throw a cute tantrum from lack of attention or if someone tries to hit on their “Y/N”. You can ignore this if it sounds idk weird or dumb lol but I thought it would be cute like they can’t hold back there affection for them while in baby form and when they turn back they are like well shit.. lmao

(PS: the fanart here is from Alexa_520 on Twitter I’m not sure if she has a tumblr but in case you or anyone wants to see it for yourself)

This is so cute!!!

Thank you for the idea. Here it goes. The story has little angst a bit. 

Zero Crush.

Summary: Y/N was on her way to go out for her day off. However, her plan got interrupted because the AI told her something at the lab. You almost lose your mind seeing both of your bosses turn into babies. 

And now, she has to watch them. Y/N is okay with kids, but the problem is she has a little crush towards Captain America and The Winter Soldier. 

Character: Steve Rogers x platonic!reader, Bucky Barnes x platonic!reader

Warning: If you squint a bit, there’s a little angst. 

Main Masterlist || Buy me Ko-fi please 🥹

Drawing of baby Steve and Rogers : Drawing 1, Drawing 2, Drawing 3

It's been a long time for Steve and Bucky to cry, even for crying their heart out to release all their feelings through tears. 

“Waaaaa!”

“Aah…Ahh!”

The rest of the Avengers rubbed their eyes. They couldn't believe the strongest soldiers standing tall before, were shorter than them.

Steve and Bucky have turned into babies. They were standing too close to Tony and Bruce's new invention. 

The high IQ bros try to copy the Pym-particles to shrink and increase an object.

"What kind of machine is that, Tony?!" Natasha pushed Tony away while he was still in shock. 

"I'm trying to make a quantum machine like Ant-man. Look, it works!!! The box got small.” Tony pointed at the test object.

"Yeah, it’s obvious the zone needs to get fixed." Natasha carried Bucky to her arm. At the same time, Steve was taken by Clint. Steve wants to push Clint away because he stinks. 

Bucky did the same towards Natasha; her perfume was too strong. Natasha couldn't help it since she just returned from her mission, and Clint was training when Tony called him.

Tony shook his head. "If Steve and Bucky didn't stand near the test object, they wouldn't get transformed." 

Natasha wants to punch him. "You..!!"

All the adults are pointing at each other. At the same time, Steve and Bucky were confused. Since they're shorter than everyone and the mood in the room doesn't feel good, it makes them uncomfortable.

"Uuh…"

All of them stop arguing because they suddenly hear a sobbing voice.

"Hey, guys? Is everything alright?" You were preparing to go out since today is your day off. Before putting on sunscreen, F.R.I.D.A.Y informed you that something happened at the lab.

Nobody answered you, but from their face, you could say they were nervous.

Then you saw that Natasha and Clint have a baby in their arms. 

"Ooh, so cute. Clint, you have a twin? Congrats." You know Clint is a family man, but it’s new for him to bring his kids to the headquarters. 

Clint chuckled. "Y/N, you don't recognise him?"

"Huh?" 

After he said that, you did notice something that felt familiar, but you can tell what it was. Blond hair, blue eyes, straight nose. Then you turn to Natasha. The baby has black hair and vibranium arms. 

You gasped, “Oh my god!”

"Yaa! Yaa!" Steve stretched his short arms towards you. Clint gently put Steve on your arm. 

“Why did you give him to me?” You nervously hold Steve. Even though he’s a baby now, he is still your boss. You turned to Tony. "You better fix this!!"

"On it."

Bucky saw Steve get carried by you. And he wants it, too. "Ahh…" He pulled Natasha's shirt and pointed at you. 

"Even in baby form, you can't be separated from your best friend?"

After everyone stops panicking, Tony wears his Iron suit and buys kid's clothes; perhaps he wants to run away. Bruce is fixing the machine, Clint went home to get toys for Steve and Bucky, and Natasha is helping you. 

But you know Natasha just returned after a 3-month mission, and from her eyes, you could see she's damn tired. So you told her to rest. 

In the end, there are two babies in your arms. You learn that Steve and Bucky are two years old and can walk alone. 

You put them on the couch while you went to the fridge to make warm milk for them. You're not nervous taking care of little kids since you always cared for nieces and nephews before being accepted as a SHIELD agent.

But you’re nervous since you have a little crush towards your idols. 

You're relieved to see milk inside the fridge. When you turn around to search for a pan, you're shocked not to see the two babies on the sofa.

Where are they?

Then you feel someone is watching you. You looked and saw Steve and Bucky looking at you. 

You lean down and speak softly towards them, "I'm making warm milk for you both. Do you want some?"

Steve and Bucky nodded at the same time. With their fluffy cheeks and small body-like dumplings, you wouldn't believe they're the same boss who is deadly and righteous at the same time. You patted their head gently. 

When the milk has warmed up, you give it to both. Steve and Bucky drink the warm milk. They widened their eyes when they tasted it. It's delicious. 

In their eyes, you're the person they could look up to. You never raised your voice, and you gave them a delicious drink. 

Is this what it feels like to have a big sister? 

After 30 minutes, Tony returned with shopping bags from the kid's store. 

"Give me the clothes. It needs to be cleaned first before they wear it." You received the bag from Tony. You look inside the bag and see there are pyjamas too. 

"I'm going to the laundry room. Could you watch them for a while?"

"Sure."

Steve and Bucky didn't want to be left alone with Tony. Their short legs immediately run after you. Then, each of them hugs each of your legs.

Your body froze. You looked down at the little boys who held your legs, their two big eyes looking at you intensely. 

You knew they didn't want to be left alone at this moment. "Umm, Tony, could you do the dirty laundry instead?"

Tony nodded his head. "Yup, the message is clear: both hate me." 

Since then, both Steve and Bucky have followed you everywhere. They helped you when you made lunch. They wash all the veggies. 

You chuckled, even though they turn into kids, they are always helping. 

But no matter what, they're just a kid who needs attention. You learned that when eating together with them. 

When you help to feed Bucky because of his metal arm, it doesn't seem like he can control his body. 

Steve doesn't like to see Bucky get all your attention. He starts to make a noise and drops his spoon. "Ah..ahhh..."

Because of that, you feed them in turns. 

And before they go to sleep, you want to read a bedtime story. You thought this would be easy since they didn't take a nap. 

You were wrong. First, it was Steve's book choice; then, it was Bucky's. You should've said only one story but couldn't say no to them.

When they fell asleep, you slowly went out of the room. Finally, you could breathe. Even though you like kids, it takes time and energy. 

But at least because of this, your secret crush towards your bosses is gone. Like 50% gone. 

Before you join the Avengers, your HR has told you to keep everything professional. It's impossible not to like Captain America and The Winter Soldier.

At first, you saw them cute. But because their crying and whining hurt your eardrum, it shattered their perfect image in your brain. 

You don't think you could wait for another day. You could handle terrorists, pirates, and aliens, but not kids. You wish Tony and Bruce could finish the machine quickly.

It took three days to fix the machine. When Steve and Bucky return to their old self, they fall asleep to get checked first. After two hours, they finally woke up and searched for you. 

"Ooh, you're looking for Y/N? I gave her a week off after caring for both of you."

Yes, you do. When Bruce said the machine worked fine without side effects, you immediately left the building and went to a bar. 

At the bar, you gulped the second glass of beer. You sighed heavily since you realised you needed the strongest alcohol to erase the image from your mind of baby Steve Rogers and baby Bucky Barnes when they're crying, nagging and pulling your hair. 

Their perfect image in your mind has been destroyed.

Drawing of baby Steve and Rogers : Drawing 1, Drawing 2, Drawing 3

Main Masterlist || Buy me Ko-fi please 🥹

[metalomagnetic]

hello!!!! i just caught up on IRTB and firstly, one writer to another, let me say your juggling of plot and so many complex family dynamics is so commendable, I'm so inspired by you!! secondly, I just found your tumblr, and I am shocked by the amount of Orion hate. like, is he a morally great dude? of course not, but he's actually one of my favorite characters even though he's dead lol. he fascinates me, I get so excited every time that he pops up!!! him and Bella (and even Rodolphus??? i'm both thrilled and horrified by this) are my absolute faves, but Narcissa is running close behind<3

sirius has been my favorite character since I read the books, but you've finally hit the nail on the head with his characterization I think!!!! excellent work so far, and all the love<3<3<3<3

PS- I know i'm coming from an anime fic blog, but i've been reading harry potter fic since i was like 12, this is just my current hideout spot LOL

Thank you! ❤️ It runs really is a very plot heavy fic, and I'm glad you think it's handled well.

Orion hate comes from his treatment of Walburga primarily ( I assume) though he also did quite the damage to Sirius and Regulus.

He is one of my favourite characters as well, especially because he's dead. But he was a nightmare of a husband, and not the greatest father. However, his wife wasn't exactly a saint, either, so that marriage went to hell in a basket, and they are both responsible for it, and for how they fucked up their children. Despite that, I love Walburga, too. She and Orion are so special to me (I wrote like 30k one shot for them, because I had to. I wanted to understand their relationship before I could explore it properly in It runs ). They are two complex individuals that loved each other once, that grew up together, and there was still love there, but also so much bitterness and hate by the end. Still, Orion was the one with the power in their relationship, and while Walburga was awful, she was forced into many circumstances quite against her will, so this is why Orion shoulders more of the blame, and is more hated for how it all went down. I console myself knowing they had a few good years together, where they were actually happy, despite everything. And while I don't know how or if I will include it in 'It runs', in my head canon for the story, Orion and Walburga reconciled at the very end, or at least made peace with each other. Despite her many flaws, Walburga took care of him when he most needed her.

Rodolphus always surprises me in my story, by how much I end up loving every version of him I write.

Bella is my Queen, and Narcissa my princess.

So happy you're enjoying this story and the characters, especially Sirius! ❤️

[toothfa-1-ry]

DON'T MAKE PROMISES YOU CAN'T KEEP - CHISHIYA

You always find yourself breaking the promises you made to Chishiya, you never meant to break the last promise though. I wonder if he felt the same

GENRE: fluff or angst it depends on how you look at it :)

PAIRING: Chishiya x gn reader (this is my first time writing a gn reader so pls correct me if there are mistakes)

WARNING: swearing, blood, injuries

A/N: a quick paced fic which probably made no sense lol but I still hope you enjoy. Is Chishiya ooc? Maybe? Will I delete this? Maybe? Anyways pls reblog and write something I would really appreciate it ( ˘ ³˘)♥

Ps remember to hydrate and eat ♡

-

You look up at the night sky, stars scattered everywhere.

It took a minute for you to realize where you were and what happened as you breathed heavily.

Oh right.

You were shot, you were bleeding, you were dying

"Fuck this game" you mutter as your right hand is clutching your side where the bullets were lodged in.

"fuck-" you cough out blood "fuck..fuck the king of spades" you squeezed your eyes shut trying to remember how it had exactly followed out.

Kuina got shot, Ann got shot, that Heiya girl was gone somewhere and Aguni was no where to be found.

You let out a soft groan still clutching your side tightly, trying to stop the bleeding as you try to remember how it had exactly followed out

You remember yourself seeing red after kuina fell on the floor, you remember cursing Arisu's plan even though it worked..sort of

You remember punching the king of spades and dragging a knife across his face, that wasn't enough to kill him though. That bastard had to put bullets in you. You remember clutching your stomach and stumbling away somewhere before falling down.

"The bomb must have killed him" you murmur softly looking to your left seeing ruins of buildings and smoke.

You look over at you desolated and ruined surrounding and then look at your red stai ed shirt "shit I'm gonna die in this hellhole"

You wanted to cry but you just couldn't. The tears won't come out. "Kuina..Ann" you mutter softly as you closed your eyes. Your forgetting someone, who are you forgettin-

"Chishiya" your eyes widened and you gasped softly "Chishiya-" you try standing up but for no use as you felt a sharp pain all through your body as you moved a inch "fuck" you cursed.

"I'll come back for you. I promise" you say as you held Chishiya's hand looking at the red, staining his white hoodie

"go play the game"

"I'll come back" you said you eyes turning glassy

"y/n" chishiya turned at you this time holding your arm firmly "I'll live, quit acting like I'm dying" he said it firmly even though his voice was slightly hoarse "go and play the game"

You nod as arisu urges you to come fast, the game registration was about to end

"I'm gonna be with you again..I'm gonna end this whole thing with you" you whisper again one last time before turning away and running leaving chishiya alone, bleeding.

"Chishiya-" you call out his name but at what cost? Your stomach seemed to bleed even more at the slightest of movement and everytime you cough blood seemed to pour out of your mouth.

You didnt even know where you were, you left Chishiya somewhere and promised him something that seemed impossible to do now given your circumstances.

"please Chishiya..I promised him, I have to go-" you plead out loud, as if some kind of supernatural force would bring you to him.

If you were really gonna die in this fucked up world, you want to be next to him. The crazy psychopath who saved your life even just a few hours ago when Niragi pointed the gun at you leaving him wounded instead, the cat eyed boy who you seemd to find comfort in the fucked up games you were playing.

Maybe it was at this point when you realize your feelings for him, or maybe you had realised it a long time ago and all you were doing now was accepting it.

Without knowing a single tear dropped rolled out of your eye, the stars looked brighter than ever but deep down you knew it was going to be the last thing you were gonna see. You were giving up, what if arisu and usagi win the last game? You were already dying that too alone-

"you were always kind of loud."

You snapped out of your thoughts, was that?

"didn't you say you were coming to get me? Jeez instead you got shot too huh- I got hit by a bullet for you just for you to get hit by 3 more?"

You moved slightly which seemed to be the wrong thing to do as you wince on pain

"look left, don't move your body. I thought you said you passed medical school"

Immediately your head turned left and there you saw, the same bored cat eyes and white hoodie that now had a huge red stain in the right chest area.

There he was limping, walking very slowly, dragging his feet as his right hand was firmly pressed in his chest trying to contain the blood flow.

"Chishiya- stop don't, don't move" you say as loud as you can looking at him as you layed down on the ground "your gonna bleed even more- just lie down there"

Chishiya walked a few more steps going against your protest before he let out a wince of pain as he collapsed to the ground only a few inches away from you.

"agh..I'm tired" he said as you turned his head to face you "you look tired too-"

He stopped midway though as he saw tears streaming down your face "y/n-"

"you idiot why were you walking around- your bleeding" you cry out "your shot so why were you walking, coming to me- you came-"

"you called."

"wha-"

"you also promised to end this thing with me. You really should know how to keep the promises you make y/n"

It surprised you, the way he says it so nonchalantly as if you both weren't bleeding to death right now, as if he didn't risk his entire life right now.

"Arisu and Usagi are playing the queen of hearts right now." Chishiya said "just hang in there y/n"

You heard his raspy voice trying to reassure you "I don't know if-"

"saying that will jinx things up, hang in there."

You both look at eachother. Him looking at your face which seemed to be stained by tears and blood both probably yours and you staring at his tired eyes which seemed more tired than usual.

"you had to get shot... does it hurt?" He asked you

"of course it hurts you idiot" you let out what seemed to be a laugh.

"ah sorry, I shouldn't have asked" he mused

You both stayed in silence for a while before you break it

"w-why did you take the bullet for me..the one Niragi shot, why did you come infront of me?"

Pause

"maybe it's because my ideals have changed"

"wha-?" You held your breath

"maybe it's because my priorities have changed, maybe because I wanted to experience having a bullet inside of me-" Chishiya looks at you "maybe because I had a chance to protect you. Or maybe because I just wanted to"

"do you really mean it?" You say so softly in disbelief

"I've always wanted to protect you until your last game" he looks at the red stain that stained your white shirt.

"I've always wanted to be with you till the end" you whispered

You stare at the way his usual bored eyes slightly widened before letting out a soft sigh

You both get engulfed in silence again, there was no need for words.

"do you think we'll go back to the real world, by the end of this?"

"we-" chishiya seemed to hesitate for a while, contemplation whether to say it or not. "We're gonna go back to the real world. I trust Arisu"

You smile to yourself without saying anything as your sight seemed to grow weaker by the second, as you heard Chishiya's voice grow softer by each word

"okay" you didnt know if you really believed what you said but you really wanted to

Chishiya seemed to have realised this as he sighed softly, he paused for a while again before saying "it was nice knowing you. I'd like to know you even after going to the real world."

your eyes widened by his words before giving a soft smile "I'd like that too"

"Congratulations on clearing all the games. All surviving players will now be given a choice."

You gasped softly as chishiya muttered a few inches next to you "they did it"

"please select if you will accept permanent residence in this land or if you will not accept. I repeat-"

You look at the night sky as fircrackers of different colours burst

"I think-" chishiya looks at you and stretched out his right hand "I will not take it" his raspy voice finishes.

"i think-" you breath out as your reach out your left hand only to find out there was still some distance between leading the both of you to interlace your pinkys together "I will also not take it"

"Let's hang on to life for a little longer y/n...don't break another promise. We're gonna meet each other in the real world too" Chishiya's raspy voice breathed out

You nod slowly "I promise."

...

Present day

"bring a stretcher over here! I hear a heartbeat!"

" hang on there for a little bit"

"they've been severely injured, especially in the stomach. There seems to be internal bleeding as well"

"it's a miracle that they're still alive"

"they're heartbeat stopped for one whole minute"

"they were walking a thin line between life and death"

You open your eyes.

God people were so noisy, especially the two males who were in the bed next to yours

"I heard your heartbeat also stopped for one whole minute.. do you think anything changed?"

"Im not sure, I guess I look a lot flashier now. What about you?"

"Since I almost died, I think I'll be able to live a more useful life now."

"so you were also a good for nothing jerk huh?"

"yeah"

Soon a nurse came to take away 'Niragi' you you realised was the name of one of the guy whose heartbeat also stopped, leaving only the white haired male and you in the room

You cleared you voice

"uh- ahem, not that I was eavesdropping but- did you say your heartbeat also stop for a minute?"

The white haired boy turned to look at you slightly surprised "yes. I'm guessing you too."

"hm" you him "what a coincidence.."

Your both left with a silence, you look at him s you contemplate whether to say something

"uh- by the way, my answer is probably yes."

"excuse me?"

"uh..well you were asking him if anything changed right?..I think so. I don't know what but" you touch your heart "I feel this sort of relief and happiness yet I also feel sad as if I made a promise to someone but I can't remember"

The white haired male looks at you with his cat eyes. You could almost swear that you know him.

"ah sorry you didn't ask me-" you quickly apologize for speaking out of your turn until you were interupted

"what a coincidence. I feel the same way. As if i made a promise but I can't remember it...that's a unique way to put it"

He says the words so nonchalantly as if the both of you hadn't just survived a meteor crash it surprised you, as if you had heated someone say something similar before

"I'm..y/n. Do I know you or?" You ask slowly trying to soak every small feature in his face, trying to remember from where you know him from.

"no.. although you look very familiar to me" he says "I'm Chishiya. It's nice to meet you"

He reaches out his hand and you reach out yours.

"it's nice to meet you too"

[spookykoolkat]

the red j.m. | chapter three

CHAPTER THREE: PROTECTON

series masterlist | main masterlist

previous chapter | next chapter

pairings: older!joel miller x plus sized!younger!reader

chapter summary: it's been three weeks since you decided to stay in jackson and you realized that your hatred and irritation caused by the man who let you live under his roof may be more than just that.

warnings: age gap (joel is 57, reader is turning 26), inappropriate thoughts, creepy joel if you squint, fluff/nicer joel, and a small breakthrough with joel, MDNI!

wc: 5k

na: HELLOOOOOO omg okay here is the third chapter of the red, my new passion project that i'm currently in love with. i have so many more one shots and ideas that i'm writing, including a request i hope to finish up before next week! i hope everyone is loving this series so far and i hope that you show ur love by reblogging, sharing you thoughts in a comment and liking :P i hope u luv this just as much as i do and hope y'all look forward to more chapters to come! (and oneshots and fics and stuff LOL) ps all love to my plus size girls i love u guys.

THREE WEEKS LATER

YOU

as the days went on, you found yourself falling into the routine of the world you live in now. you decided to stay, and it’s something you hadn’t second guessed either. part of it was nice, living somewhat normally, as normal as you could given the circumstances. It almost felt like a weight off of your shoulders. you could actually get rest most nights without the threat, some nights still being nerve wracking. 

it was your anxiety that kept you awake, your thoughts of depression and paranoia created a difficult defeat. It was hard. and you struggled, just not in front of anyone. your father wasn’t the best father, but one piece of advice you took from him was to never let anyone feel like they have to take care of you, always handle your issues alone because quote unquote, they’ll just throw it back in your face.

the deal was, you get a job while you take a few classes in order to take patrol routes, and the job was the local clothing store that did trades and fixer uppers. you didn’t know much about sewing or making clothes, you just remembered watching your mother sew holes back up after you skinned your knee trying to get away. 

ellie attended school, doing the best to get the education she needed before deciding what her role will be in this society. yours is being a merchant apparently, but you complied. it was money, at least whatever was comparable to money, and you needed it to get your own place. living with joel and ellie was fine, but you realized it was just you and joel most of the time. ellie managed to make her own space in the garage and joel let her, helped her even. he figured it’d be nice to have two different spaces for one another. 

he felt the same about you. but didn’t ever tell you of course. he figured you already had enough on your plate for him not to breathe down your neck until you leave. you saw it anyways though because joel could not help the way his face said more than he needed.

he was used to being alone, until he met tess, then he got used to having someone there and accommodated to living with another person. he hadn’t gotten used to you yet. in the kitchen wearing shorts and a long shirt as you made breakfast, for the three of you until joel would say that ellie was already gone. he would eat his plate quickly, saying a quick thank you and not saying any words as he does the dishes you just made. 

you would tell him you could wash them, that he didn’t have to, but he insisted you didn’t. not with his words of course, he’d just rush to do them before you could finish your plate. you didn’t know what to make of him yet.  

“i got your plate, you’re gonna be late for work,” he would say, taking your cup and plate to the sink to wash. he’d always be right though, you were going to be late on days you cooked in the mornings. but he just seemed to want to be out of your way and as far away as possible from you. you even asked tommy how to go about living with his brother. 

“best advice i can give you is to just do your own thing. he won’t pay no mind to you, like livin’ with a damn cat i tell ya,” he said playfully, but something in you made you believe it wholeheartedly. he truly was like a cat. quiet, reserved, does his own thing, and takes care of himself. you figured, how hard could it be? until actually living with him. now, you’re kind of bothered by the lack of interactions. you were here, you might as well get to know the people around you but he didn’t make it that simple. you didn’t either at first, so you’re patient. 

but then you got in your head. you don’t need to let anyone in, you aren’t here to make friends or share dark secrets. being here made you gain small hope, but it didn’t last once you started thinking again. there wasn’t a way for you to have people in your life and keep them safe at the same time. you realized that everything you had to fight for and protect, you failed. 

but you weren’t the only one still adjusting and battling themselves. joel put up a wall between him and everyone he’s ever interacted with. it was for his safety, and now ellie’s. 

sometimes he’d be surprised by you in the wide living room with a book in your hands after work. it wasn’t that rare you constantly met him in the living room after his shift was up, because by the time he was coming back home you were getting up for work. sometimes vice versa, and sometimes, very rarely, would you and joel be leaving the house at the same time. but still, after almost a month of being in joel’s presence there wasn’t more than 20 words exchanged each day. 

joel didn’t bother to get to know you, he didn’t ask you about anything and didn’t even ask you about your plans to stay or not. he just didn’t want you asking questions either. plus, he figured everything he knew about you was all that he needed to know. 

you would think joel would like to know who was living under his roof, but truth be told he hardly knows the people he calls neighbors. to him it wasn’t his priority to meet new people and indulge in normal life activities like watching a movie or going to the bar they hold in the town. he molded perfectly into the role he and others gave him, which was to protect and hunt. to do his part to contribute to the new making of jackson’s society. in joel’s mind, he wasn’t in jackson to make buddies and go on dates, and he wasn't prowling for anyone either. 

his mind was on survival, and calculating if every decision he makes will heighten the chances of him and ellie, now you, surviving. he wasn’t interested in the get togethers people invited him to, he couldn’t care for the annual small pot luck they have in jackson, all he cared about was making sure jackson stayed safe, that all three of you stayed safe.

so, he put off making friends and love, and focused on ellie. he didn’t need anyone else knowing him and his life anymore than they already do, and he didn’t need a stranger trying to pry his deepest and darkest secrets out of him. 

the thing is, you wanted to know him. even if you were still unsure of him, jackson, yourself─you could admit that he did his part in making you nervous, drawing you to something. you still had a dislike for him though. you couldn’t tell which feeling overpowered which.

jackson was bigger than you thought.. there were at least two or three subdivisions of houses, a school, a church, one bar, one clothing store, one hardware supply, and a small park that was really two swings and an aluminum slide. maria told you as she gave the tour that it took a while to build up, but with time came something amazing. something the QZ or the fireflies could never achieve, it was peaceful. everyone relied on each other, everyone trusted each other. except for three people—the three people who live under joel’s roof. that’s what the three of you bonded the most over, the fact that you all have trust issues. 

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

you noticed joel a lot more over the weeks. he was a grumpy man, a man who if he could, he’d get a newspaper with his coffee—straight black, and read outside on his patio as the sun rose. by himself, alone. how he wanted. and you understood of course, you know how it is to want your solitude. but, you also couldn’t help how eager you were to talk to him. surprised at every small good morning, or have a good day you get once and while from him. 

he was sharp and cold with most people, offering a hand to compensate, and helping those who need it. joel realized after a while it’s better to make acquaintances rather than enemies in such a tight knit community, a community that relies on the people within. he couldn’t break that cycle, so he was friendly with those who he got to know. 

you noticed how much stuff he would bring back on his patrolling days. a box full of female hygiene products, a box full of new clothes, or more ammo. you watched from the window as he looked around to see if anyone was looking, and would go to the shed he built that was in the backyard of the house. you wondered what he was doing to get all of these things, but you never brought it up to anyone. 

It wasn’t your business.

you didn’t bother to pry, and to be your usual curious self and ask him about it. you knew he’d shut the conversation down before it even started, and it wasn’t worth it to you. you did make a mental note to bring it up to him eventually. 

a small part of you liked him though. despite the mystery, the coldness, the selfishness, the rudeness, you actually liked joel because he reminded you of you. a small part would be an understatement. you always seemed to be looking for joel. whether it was downstairs, in ellie’s space, or in public. constantly wondering where he was, or if he was looking at you. whether you realized it now or not, his presence brought a certain comfort to you.

you volunteered in the kitchen serving dinner from time to time, and when you did you fought hard to not stare at the miller brothers walking in with ellie. but, ellie didn’t make it hard to acknowledge their presence and notice them.. joel would just nod in your direction, you’d give a small nod back and get back to making plates. you practically fought yourself to not glance over at him, just to make sure he was still sitting in his usual seat next to ellie. and when you lost, you’d look up to his seat just to see his eyes peering over his cup at you.

It was an odd dynamic that left you wanting more from him. you wanted to learn more about him when he had moments of vulnerability, which was only twice over the course of your stay.you only knew he was from austin and was a contractor before everything started. you wanted to pry more, to know him, to know what makes him smile and laugh.  and if you were going to learn about joel, it wasn't going to be through ellie or tommy, or even maria.

you wanted the accomplishment of getting to finally know joel all by yourself, it seemed like a challenge to you. everyone talked, people would ask you where you stayed here in jackson when a local notices that you’re a new face and would end up looking like they saw a ghost when the words, ‘i’m a friend of tommy’s, i’m stayin’ with his brother,’ came out of your mouth. he had a reputation obviously, but you didn’t know the extent. everyone knew joel miller and the little girl, and joel knew you’d get wind of the things people have said and feel about him. 

he just hoped that that’s all you got wind of. 

you were so confused at this new and sudden urge to be around someone all of the time, but it’s happening with joel even if you never act on it. you weren't going to force yourself around someone just because you wanted him near. 

you wanted him to be the one to break first. to talk to you first and ask about you, even act like you exist a little more than he did now. you needed him to feel this way about you, and more. you weren’t going to get hurt, and you weren’t going to let it happen by the commune’s biggest asshole. 

but then you would come back to reality. you realized joel miller had absolutely zero interest in you. not as a friend, not as a person━to you, he saw you as a temporary thing. and you would remember that the feeling of close proximity to joel and knowing who he was wasn’t going to make your life easier. It was a constant battle with yourself, fighting your vulnerability and settling for being the second hard ass in jackson. 

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 13TH, 2024.

YOU

it was late at night when joel came home from his interchanging shifts with other people in jackson. you were humming to yourself  as you washed the pile of dishes that were stacked when joel walked in. with everyone trying to get settled, it was hectic. finding a new balance with being the new addition to the home, getting into a regular flow of things. so when you got home from work, you cleaned up as much as you could without moving things around even though you were desperate to. as long as you were here, this still wasn’t your house to mess with. 

you stayed in places here and there, a shelter in waco, texas when your parents traveled there for safety from the QZ, a stranger’s underground hideout the first two years of it, many more people’s homes and abandoned buildings and escaping from QZ’s around the states.but you never failed to tidy things up while you stayed, you couldn’t shake it. you respected your surroundings and were grateful for the people who did extend their hand to you, even if they hurt you and made you regret not killing them.

joel walked in with a hard face and an unhappy sigh, looking towards the open kitchen and seeing you in a long sleeve shirt that’s risen on one side where your waistband carries the old walkman, your hair in a lazy put together bun—a part of him couldn’t look away if he wanted to. still trying to get used to this. 

he had to be honest, he found it hard living in the same space as you. he noticed you getting a bit more hopeful these days, not looking as angry as he does every day, and talking more. not to him, but he watched from afar. always had an eye on you even when he wasn’t around. he made sure tommy looked after you, maria, he even made ellie make sure you were okay. making sure you weren’t completely out of your mind. not more than usual, at least. 

he had something for you. he didn’t know if it was true, if he could be this far gone that he couldn’t stand to be around you because he wanted to take care of you in ways you would’ve never thought of? he hated that you made him feel like he wanted to protect you. he also hated the fact that you could never make him hate you. 

you didn’t notice him of course, you continued to scrub and wash as he came up behind you and tapped you on the shoulder to tell you he was home, sending you to flinch and sigh. you removed your headphones and let them rest on your neck as you turn the knob of the sink. 

“fuck!,” you said, putting a wet hand to your forehead as you tried to breathe in, “why are you always doin’ that? asshole.” 

“watch your mouth,” he tried and you had to stifle a laugh as he plucked a beer can from the fridge and left the kitchen area to sit in the living room. it was always a little funny to see him irritated because of you, you couldn’t lie to yourself. 

“bite me.” you spit, putting your headphones back on and rolling your eyes. 

joel felt so wrong. your responses shouldn’t leave him wanting to hear more of your sharpness. he shouldn’t be curious as to what you sounded like when you laughed hard enough. he shouldn’t want to watch your every movement. 

you were lost, confused, trying to find your way and here he was watching you like a creep from his spot on the couch. he would’ve loved to turn on a tv right now, ignore his instincts and feelings and turn into whatever show was on. all he has now is a dull radio ellie traded with the neighbors for, and he decided to put that on instead. it was a bit rare to find music, good music even. 

by the time he found a soft 60s song, you were done and wiping up the area before drying your arms. you decided to grab a beer yourself, cringing at the dark bottle, and making your way to sit on the couch across from joel. he watched as you lifted the hem of your shirt to wrap around the cap of the bottle, twisting it off successfully. he couldn’t help but notice the exposed skin that was pressing into your black shorts. 

“i uh, never thanked you or tommy. for saving me, bringing me here. i’m just, it’s a lot to get used to. i still don’t know if i’ll stay,” you broke the silence and took a swig of the beer, downing it quickly. 

“don’t thank me, thank tommy.” he said coldly and looked at the burning wood in the fireplace against the wall. It was silent for a bit while joel’s eyes wandered from you to a nearby window, watching the snow fall.  you couldn’t help but think about it, and before you knew it the words were coming out of your mouth. 

“why did you want to leave me there?” you looked to him with the beer in your lap, sitting criss crossed on the couch and your fingertips tapping at the sweating beverage. he looked to you once and looked down and around, sighing. 

“it ain’t personal. tommy and maria, they don’t take people in like that. it shocked me, is all. i just didn’t trust ya,” he admitted and drank his beer, getting comfortable. 

“do you trust me now?” you asked and he kept his gaze on the floor. you didn’t expect a different response from him. 

you kind of sat there, stilled and quietly listening to the music that comes from the radio. he doesn’t watch you anymore, he just drinks his beer until he finishes and lays there with his forearm over his eyes. a part of it feels normal, like coming home from a long day at work and cracking open a beer, going to sleep after and repeat. 

“I’m trying, you know. trying to get my own place here, and work and make connections so I’ll be out of your hair.” you defended even though there was just silence. you felt bad, imposing on a man who clearly wants to be left alone. but he could be less of an asshole.

“I’m not tryna rush you out of here.” is all he says and you notice for the first time you’re actually having a conversation with joel miller. or the equivalent to a conversation. 

“It feels like you don’t want me here. I’d ask tommy and maria for a room but, they’re a married couple and she looks like she’s about to pop. feels wrong to invade their space like that.” you said and drank your coldish beer, not enjoying the foam it created. 

he sighs, sitting up from his slumped position and looking at you while your eyes are on the bottle in your lap. he didn’t speak immediately, so when his eyes trailed over you and your bare legs you could feel the heat from his gaze. It made you squirm a bit, your legs pressing together again as he makes your stomach flutter. you couldn’t help but look at the hand that grips his bottle. 

“It ain’t that either. you’re just,” he sighed again, half lying, rubbing the crease between his eyebrows, “you’re unpredictable, is all. don’t ever know what that mind of yours is thinking, if you’re thinkin’ of hurtin’ yourself or if this is all a trap still.”  he confesses and you form your lips into a straight line. 

you stay silent for a moment, before meeting his gaze. “I don’t want to hurt myself, joel. or you, or ellie. I have no reason to. I just, when you found me i was alone. and i like being alone, don’t get me wrong. but it gets… scary. depressing. I mean I’ve lost everyone, i’ve killed anyone i ever loved because of those fucking things. I had no one who cared if i was alive or dead anymore, and it just got to me.” 

“and i know everyone’s gone through the same thing nd more, it’s just,” you huffed and moved your eyes down to your bottle, “I’ve prided myself in being alone, that i don’t need anyone.I’ve shut everyone out and been so mean to everyone. but for what?” you asked rhetorically. 

you thought about it a lot. what was the point of trying to kill everyone before they killed you first? what life are you living if you aren’t trying to make the best of it? these were questions you asked yourself daily, thinking about how many people you’ve scared off because you felt they were too good for you. too kind, too caring, everything you wanted and needed you sabotaged because in your eyes, you’d rather get the blow over sooner than later. 

“your protection. and it works, it’s jus’  lonely.” he said, stealing the words from your mouth. 

“It’s lonely.” you repeat after him. 

for a moment, you felt yourself warming up to joel, understanding him more than you thought you would. solitude was something the two of you appreciated, but were tired of. having joel and ellie around made you feel less alone, like there were other people who understood how you felt. it’s why you liked talking to ellie so much, she reminds you of yourself when you were younger. she made you feel like maybe there was a chance to make things better for her, like joel wanted. you understood why he didn’t want to throw her in the world of being a protector at so young, she was just a kid. she deserved a chance to be just that. someone like that, someone who has fought and protected themselves and other people for so long, deserves a chance to be the ones being protected. 

“where were you when it happened?” you asked, a new song coming on the radio. you figured maybe now that there was conversation happening, you could try to squeeze your way into his mind even if it’s for thirty seconds.

“bailin’ my brother out of jail. you remember?” he asked. 

“yeah, i was like, playing with my dog. then it was like explosions and crashes and cars. it didn’t take my dad long to start boarding up the windows and doors. but yeah, i remember.” you said and he shook his head, wanting to say something but holding back. he paused, then spoke.

“I’m sorry about your family.” he said and you gave a tight smile, thanking him. 

“I’m sure they’d be proud of you. survivin’ this long. It ain’t for the weak.” he said and that you agree on. you would’ve never made it had you been softer, or allowed yourself to be scared. you couldn’t be though. the two of you sat in silence as the static poured through the song, comfortable, together. he broke the silence first. 

“I found some old cassette tapes in the house when we first got here, if you want them. ain’t got much use for em.” he said, standing up as your eyes followed him. you grew a smile, and he was watching you find joy in little things like old music. 

“yeah, yeah of course.” you said and set the half empty beer bottle on the coffee table, standing and following him to where the cassette tapes presumably are. he ends up leading you upstairs, hitting left at the corner where you turned right all of the time, your doors were down the hall, directly across from each other. 

“I stored em’ in case. I kept everything i found in here, never know when i’ll need it.” he said, and you smiled. he was actually being a softie right now, as soft as he’d get you supposed. 

you appreciated it. more than he knew because you didn’t know how often he’d get this gentle.to a lot of people, this was just an act of kindness. but joel miller is not kind, and you wondered why he was being so nice to you all of the sudden. even if he was being snappy and short with you, he was trusting you to be in his solitary area, at least that’s the way you saw it.

he looked disarmed even though you knew he had a gun pressed into his back, and he looked comfortable. at ease, like he wasn’t expecting impending doom for once.

“It’s called being a hoarder, joel.” he narrowed his eyes on you before going into his nightstand and taking out around five tapes. Donna Summer. Beastie Boys. The Fugees. Bob Dylan. Prince. 

“I love Prince.” you said with a small smile as you grabbed the tapes from him, looking through and inspecting them. you remembered your mother playing his 1999 album throughout the house when you were a small kid. It gave you a bit of nostalgia, and warmed your heart at the distant thought of your mother. It meant more to you than it meant to joel, and he could see it. joel was actually enjoying the fact that you appreciated this niche gesture for you. 

“thank you, joel. I think Queen and Etta James will be grateful for a break.” you joked and the corner of his mouth tugged softly into a resistant smile. still better than no smile. joel glanced at the clock and noticed the big hand hit one, remembering how tired he was all of the sudden. or maybe more so acknowledging the fact that this is the most you and he have talked in a bit. 

“you know you can ask me for anything, right? I mean, you know,” he struggled with the words but with your encouraging eyes, he had no problem continuing, “I’ll do what i can for the two of ya,” he said somewhat kindly, referring to ellie as well.

you wondered now what he truly thought of you. if he still saw you as a burden, a threat, or just someone he lives with. you also noticed he wasn’t too good at expressing his feelings, he wasn’t a visibly emotional person. maybe he really was just too desensitized to everything around him.

“I don’t want to be a bother, i’ve been okay.” you said as you held the tapes with grip. 

“you don’t bother me,” he confessed, “anything you need, a’right?” he said with sure eyes, needing confirmation back from you. now you really couldn’t get a read on him. this was what sucked the most to you. you didn’t want to say it, but he was so bipolar with you. with everyone you saw him interact with, he was just short tempered and selfish. it never changed, he was mean to everyone and anyone who was near. 

but with you, he just avoided you. and when he would come near, he was either angry or neutral. it was confusing to say the least, whenever the time came for the two of you to engage, it was always a surprise at which way the conversation led. It’s like you were able to get a read on him when he interacted with anyone else but yourself.

“yeah, anything.” you noticed you were more breathless than you intended to sound, so you cleared your throat, and averted his eyes.

you realized you stood in his room with a t-shirt as a dress basically, alone with the door shut. It made you nervous, and as your eyes examined the room just to fall on his bed, it made you wonder what it would feel like to be next to him as he slept. you bet it felt warm, cozy, safe. safe in his arms, held away from the world. but then you felt crazy. you don’t even know the guy and you’re thinking about sleeping with him? what happened to collectively hating joel miller?!

you didn’t notice the way he was looking at you until your eyes worked their way up to his, a small blush forming on your face as he basically caught you checking him out. but he didn’t look like he noticed, he seemed too dazed by you to notice you were even looking at him. 

“I should go to bed. thank you again for these, joel.” you smiled sleepily, breaking the small silence. his gaze went back to normal, you seemingly saw the darkness in his eyes fade as his eyes locked on yours again. he looked softer. 

“yeah, me too, and you’re welcome. I’ll see you in the mornin’,” he trailed off, you just nodded and awkwardly shifted out of the room, releasing a breath you were holding.  you finally felt like you could breathe again, like the weight of his gaze was suffocating you.

that night you fell asleep with your headphones on, listening to Protection by Donna Summer, and thinking of joel. 

[jobean12-blog]

Kinktober 2023

Hey everyone! Just a little announcement for my favorite month. I will be posting a few stories to celebrate and I'll be focusing on Mob!Bucky and Joel Miller (hoping to throw a Javier Pena in there too!) I've done almost every kink under the sun with Bucky so I'm going to expand my horizons and do some with Joel or Javier and since I love soft Mob!Bucky so much I want to take him on some Fall adventures! I'm hoping to just take it easy, keep it casual and have fun and share some goodies- as you can tell from my crappy banner and lack of pretty things) HA! :D I'm not really adhering to a specific schedule since this month tends to be very busy for me.

Some stories will be mostly fluff, some mostly smut and some in between! They might be drabbles or full fics and again anything in between. I'm going to be focusing on some of my favorite kinks and fall activities (these are in no particular order and I'm still working through some of my ideas- as you can see lol)-

🎃Pumpkin picking with Mob!Bucky: Feelin' Gourd

😍Hand kink with Joel Miller (Pedro's hands drive me insane) Can’t Keep my Hands to Myself

😍Choking kink with Javier Pena (really he’s the whole kink here so…) Temptations

❤️Vampire!Bucky (he's his own kink and one of my forever faves!) Insatiable

🍁Fall Baking with Mob!Bucky: A Dash of Spice and Everything Nice

🦇Bat, Please! with Eddie Munson (Eddie gets you the best surprise)

🎃Dressed to Impress Halloween Costume Fun with Joel Miller

Thanks loves, have the best day! HUGS AND LOVE! 💕💕💕

PS this gif is like porn.

[hwanghyunjinenthusiast]

rj im begging u to give me anything about cheol dhsbd its been bad for me lately and i need to talk about him with someone who GETS it

ps hi i love u lol

Anything for you

AN: I was originally going to use ideas from one of the S.Coups fics in my drafts but, since today is also the lovely @onlyseokmins birthday, I decided to go with this idea that hit me out of nowhere instead. Kill two birds with one stone and all of that. All I'm going to say is that this is all Sar's fault (I hope this is okay and, still scratches your S.Coups itch 💀).

Synopsis: Seokmin is the most generous, thoughtful man you've ever met. He'll more than willingly give you whatever you want (if it's within his means, of course). Even if that means sitting back and watching you get fucked by one of his closest friends.

Heads up: Lee Seokmin x Fem! Reader x Choi Seungcheol, Reader and DK are in a relationship, the plot is paper-thin, heavily implied power dynamics, cuckoldry (sort of), voyeurism, exhibitionism, Seungcheol is mean here, mentions of pussy spanking (f. receiving), edging (f. receiving), it's implied that Cheol gets off on Reader's tears, praise kink (f. receiving), degradation (f. receiving), dirty talk, unprotected piv sex, creampie and DK cums untouched.

Word count: 829

I will block you if you are a minor and/or have no easily visible indication of your age on your blog if you interact with me in any way.

Some people may think you're a little spoiled by your boyfriend. With his thoughtfulness often resulting in him bringing you flowers he saw on his way home from work or washing the dishes when it's your turn when work is particularly grating or making you cum on his pretty fingers until you lose count.

Yeah, maybe you're a little spoiled but, Seokmin just wants to make you happy. The way your eyes light up and that brilliant smile you always give him make it all more than worth it.

That's how the two of you find yourselves in your current situation. Well, the three of you.

Your... affinity for muscular men with great arms and pretty smiles has caused your gaze to linger a few too many times on Seungcheol. You'd never dream of betraying Seokmin that way, but you'd be lying if you said Seungcheol hadn't featured in a fantasy or two. Your boyfriend, ever the observant man, doesn't fail to notice.

And now, looking at him flushed with his bangs sticking to his sweaty forehead as he watches Seungcheol split you open on his, frankly, intimidating cock, you're left wondering if this is all even real.

"Doesn't she look so pretty taking me, Seokminnie?" The older man asks. You can't quite see him from this angle but, you're sure he's grinning when he thrusts into you so hard that your nails nearly draw blood from how tightly you're holding onto him.

"Yeah, she does," your boyfriend mutters in response, lidded eyes flying between taking in your changing expressions and Seungcheol thrusting into you.

Seungcheol isn't as kind as your boyfriend. Every act of disobedience and brattiness met with an unflinching spank to your clit. Stopping completely until you're near tears with how desperately you want to cum. Your mind devoid of everything but, the need to cum on his cock.

And Seokmin watches it all. His cock hard and untouched in the confines of his boxers. You haven't given permission to touch himself yet so, he sits and watches like the good boy he is.

"Cheol, please," you choke out once more when his cock brushes a spot inside of you that makes it difficult to breathe. Frustrated tears spilling down your overheated face.

"You do know how to ask nicely," he coos against your ear, nipping it and startling you when his daft fingers rub circles against your hypersensitive clit. It's dizzying how quickly he's learned how to toy with you.

You're so close. So, so close. Your thighs quivering violently and broken moans falling from your bruised lips as you chase your release.

Choi Seungcheol would never make it that easy. So, he stops once more. You feel his cock throb inside of you as your walls spasm and, frustrated whines leave your lips. He even has the nerve to lick away a few of the tears he's able to catch. You had no idea he had so many sadistic tendencies.

Before you can ask why he stopped, he speaks, "Do you think she deserves to cum?"

Seokmin looks like a deer caught in head lights. Warm, brown eyes alternating between your watery, desperate ones and the ones of the very hot, very evil man propping you up against his chest.

"I-I think she deserves to cum," he stutters out and, you want to kiss him so badly. You're going to make him cum so hard he can't walk straight after this.

"Well, since you've both been so well-behaved," is all the preparation you're giving before Seungcheol picks up his pace once more. Leaving you no time or room to gather yourself as his fingers make quick work of your clit once more.

"Are you going to cum like the good girl you are? The needy slut you are?" the devil whispers into your ear. Though you're pretty sure Seokmin can hear it all from the way he squirms in his seat.

"Make a mess for Seokmin,"

That's all it takes for your orgasm to rip through you. You don't remember the last time you came this hard. Seungcheol groans behind you and holds you steady through it all. Everything tenses and seizes and you're briefly worried that you'll develop a cramp but, you can't bring yourself to care all that much.

It's made all the worse (or better, depending on how you look at it) when you feel Seungcheol cum inside of you. His hold on you becoming harsh as he makes you take every single drop with every pulse of him inside of you.

Your bleary eyes meet Seokmin's frenzied ones and, that's when it hits you. He came. He came from watching...all of this. He looks like he's so close to stumbling out an apology but, you're not upset. Quite the opposite. The wet stain on his boxers instinctively making you clamp down on Seungcheol's softening cock, causing the man behind you to moan.

Yeah, this might be his greatest gift yet.

[dutifullyshamelessearthquake]

Ta da!!

My goodness I love these two. it’s so much fun for me to make art from these stories I love it so much! I did keep things slightly more simple this time around but that’s mostly just for my own sanity. I get a little too excited occasionally and realize if I don’t reel it in I’ll never finish things 😅. These are bits mainly from chapter five and a little bit from four. I wasn’t sure how we feel about like…actually drawings of vomit? I don’t want to push it (and frankly idk if I’d be comfy with it lol I’ll have to think about that) but I still want to include like…the energy ?🤣

I can’t wait to draw more stuff as fics continue!! I hope to expand too and draw other pairings and moments as well!! But I think sick Cyno and caretaker tighnari will always be my number one hehe 😊

(Ps…personally… I hate the clothes I put them in??? Like I had to stop eventually cuz I was waaay over thinking it and it’s really not the point at all, but at the same time I was like..wait how many outfits did they pack? How many times do they change clothing? Would Tighnari even look good in that color?? It doesn’t matter and kinda made me laugh but I was this close to doing online window shopping to get better inspiration 🤣)

OMG IT'S HERE!

I don't know how you do this but you always manage to blow me away with your art JUST LOOK AT THEM!! LOOK AT OUR BOYS!! THEY'RE SO- AH! You have no idea how happy these make me 😭

They're my favourite pairing to write right now too, so you can bet I'll be spoiling you with a lot more content of them! Especially sick Cyno, he melts my heart.

AAHH I don't know what to say without rambling! I'm so giddy, I can't stop looking at these!! (I love that drawing of Cyno sitting on the edge of the bed and throwing up- you somehow captured just how miserable he is, even with only his back showing!)

And I think the clothes are cute!! I love that you drew different outfits in both pages of sketches! Tighnari is 100% the type to over-pack, he definitely had an absurd amount of spare clothes. Which, good thing, I think Cyno sweated through several pairs between chapter 4 and 5 😭

AGAIN! Thank you so so much for all the beautiful fanart you've shared!! It means so insanely much to me to see fanart created of my works, and your art is so good too!! I am one very happy writer right now!

(on the topic of drawings of vomit! Absolutely only draw what you feel comfortable drawing. I think you portrayed nausea really well in your drawings, and I really like how you drew the sketch of Cyno throwing up! I am not at all phased by vomit in drawings, so whether you choose to draw it or not, I don't mind at all. As long as you're comfortable with what you're creating! Also if you were to submit drawings that included actual vomit, I would probably just put the art below a cut with a warning, for any of my followers who'd rather not see it.)

[freeuselandonorris]

omg i can't believe you share the vision!! (it's chloro cnc anon btw lol)

i've had a weirdly specific niche cnc thing involving chloroform since like i first discovered porn & i've always felt like a proper freak for being into it (dramatic but i'm from a very conservative country with a big no no for pre-marital sex so i'm sure you can imagine how much my little freak brain was so disgusted by my own thoughts back then)

i can just imagine oscar not even doing anything horrendous the first few times he gave lando the stuff. maybe just keeping him groggy while he touches him.. then it could escalate to dosing him while getting him off.. then slowly but surely, lando's getting pavlov-ed to associating chloroform (and just being helpless in general) with him being able to cum😩

ps: you've no idea how cathartic it's been just being able to interact with someone who matches my freak (literally!!), thank you for indulging me & as always i hope you have a lovely day <33

❤️❤️❤️ you are so welcome here in freak corner, anon! and actually i haven’t stopped thinking about this and slowly losing my mind since yesterday so really it’s me who should be thanking u.

there is soooo much fic potential here in the idea of them very carefully and slowly working it all out. oscar’s engineer brain with a notepad and pencil working out dosages based on bodyweight, figuring out the safest way to titrate it (?? i fear i am going to have to do some weird googling) and getting lando used to the feeling of being out of it but still mostly awake. being very aware and nervous of the level of responsibility he’s got over lando’s safety while also being completely spun out on how good it feels to have lando’s lovely limp body there for him to play with however he likes… god!!

i have a very longstanding kink about that level of TPE-style association training (stuff like being trained to piss on command, only being able to cum a certain way etc) so the idea of oscar slowly training him to only being able to get off through being knocked out? hoooo boy!! chewing through wires about it.

anyway yeah i’ll be writing this at some point bc it’s eating my brain. need to go and do some research 👀

[mollish-art]

Mollish, what kind of five stars dish are you cooking with the chapter?!

Let me get this straight: You have reached the 100 pages mark, and (if you haven't already past it) have written, atleast, 80k words.

For those who are like "that not a lot", let me put this into prespective.

Firstly, "The Great Gatsby" is a novel that has a count of **looks at Google* about 47k words (if you don't want the unrounded number, there are 47.094), as indicated by the source.

Secondly, a 100 pages are A LOT. It's true that depending on style of the font and how big it is, it can affect the canvas. Let's say that Mollish writes with the standard Calibri 12 Word offers when booted up. A single page can hold an small introduction, a text body about 3-4 paragraphs and a conclusion. All that is about 200-300 words. Do you see what I mean?

Finally, if you still haven't seen what I mean, is that those hundred pages and 80k words are NOT different chapters. These. Are. For. A. Singular. Chapter.

In conclusion, Mollish (aka, you, yes you, the one who is reading this) has written more words than a novel, the book itself is more or less as long as a children's book [a 100 pages is about a half an inch (???) ( about 7 milimetres or 1 whole centimetre)], and is doing all of this for a chapter of a fanfic for an AU about a project a creachur that films themselves playing games named "Ranboo" made, just because she feels like it.

We must appreciate the work and time she has putted behind the writting ( AND drawings) for Unperson.

Let me just say "Thank you Mollish for creating the AU and lending it the time and care it needs to grow."

Sorry for writting the Bibel lol, have a nice day!

PS: Watch Chapter 5 be longer than the other four chapters combined xD.

Awww thank you so much for the kind words!! That's very sweet of you :) I really appreciate it! I'm having such a fun time with the story and I'm just really happy that I have the opportunity to share it with you guys! <3

I know I've been saying it for weeks now, but I promise I'm nearly done! Today I finally hit the 100 page mark and have just passed 42,000 words (making the entire fic nearly 100,000 words long!) :D

As there was so much I needed to do with this chapter (you'll see what I mean by that when it releases), I had to make it really long. I doubt chapter 5 will be anywhere near the same length, but of course I can't say for sure until I'm actually writing it lol

I should be finished with writing Chapter 4 in the next few days, and then I pass it on to my beta reader for edit suggestions. While they're reading it, I can use that time to finish working on the cover art and the (many) website updates that will accompany the chapter itself!

The corresponding audiobook chapter won't be out for a while yet as after I release this chapter I need to actually record an entire audiobook for a client (yippee!!), but as soon as that's done I'll get on to dubbing my own work again (and then of course beginning work on Chapter 5)!

Thank you all again so much for your patience and support, especially through this prolongued hiatus. The wait has been a lot longer than I anticipated, but so is the chapter, so hopefully that makes up for it haha

See y'all sooooooon!~

[otherone12]

We Were Meant To Be, Supposed To Be

( Avril reference lol)

Frank Iero × Reader

-> Masterlist

A/N: Hey!! I took too long to write this, because I wasn't at home, so couldn't finish it. Also, i've changed the whole plot of this fic like three times, and I still thinking that's not good as I wanted. Anyways, i hope you enjoy :D

A/N 2: You guys want a Vampire x Reader fic? And with wich member?

Summary - You and Frank dated for a while before he joined MCR, but when you two decided to go separate ways, the different worlds didn’t work well together and you broke up. Years later, your lives collide again, but this time you’re not that young anymore. (This supposed to be a DD era Frank, but if you wanted to change it, be your guest).

- Word Count: 1.530

- Warnings: none

- Ps: I'll not use y/n…

- Ps2: I'm brazilian, so english is not my first language ... sorry if i wrote something wrong.

___________________________________________

1st person POV

  I was walking down streets on my way to my work, like I do every single day. The large amount of people on the street got me a bit nervous, but I learned to pretend that they didn't exist. 

    The huge building where I work seems small when I enter through the automatic door and go to my even smaller office. I took my earphones and turned the radio on in my city’s broadcasting station. “.... and we're gonna rock this town, like we always do.” The voice that I heard sounded a bit familiar, but I couldn't tell who it was, 'cause of the noise from poor radio contact.   

    I tried harder to listen to what he’ll say, but he had already  finished the interview and the announcer said “Guys, that was Frank Iero telling us what we can expect from the My Chemical Romance concert next week. Thank you, Frank!”

    I got shocked. Why wasn't I able to recognize Frank's voice? It's been that long?

   Frank and I met at high school in our freshman year. We became best friends in about three months. Earlier than we expected, we were hanging out and holding hands. He was the best part of my highschool, probably because I was the most introverted person in the world, he is the opposite. Frank encouraged me to go to parties with him, to be less insecure, to be myself… I owe him all the chances I haven't let go since.

So, like all good things, we were over. He is a famous guitarist, touring through the whole world with his band, and I'm here. I went to college and became exactly what I wanted since I was a kid. 

    We were immature and broke up at the first trouble we had, we’ve been together for six years, and knew each other enough to know that we couldn’t handle a long distance relationship. Without any fight or discussion, we decided that was the end, and just didn’t talked anymore to not turn things harder than they almost were.

Moving on took me a few years, but no one of the people that I dated after Frank made me feel the way he did. Maybe we’re some kind of "meant to be'', and we threw our chance away, giving up that easy.

    The idea of Frank being here gave me the sensation of butterflies in my stomach, should i talk to him? No. I mean, I would like to see him, ask him if he thinks of me like I think of him. Maybe he's still trying to forget about us but incapable to do it, just like me. 

    I gave a brief look to the clock on the wall and noticed that I spent an hour just thinking of Frank, remembering our best moments. And just when I thought I reached the bottom, I felt a tear dripping down my face. 

    With my sleeve, I wiped that single tear in my cheek and keeped working. 

    The rest of the day was gray, the color of the clouds coincidently matched with my feelings. At home, I dropped myself in my bed and turned the tv on, with a desperate yearn to keep my mind out of my old memories. In a few minutes I fell asleep. 

*** time skip ***

  Next day, I decided that I would enjoy myself in some cool place. So at 9pm I put on my best clothes and went to my favorite bar. The place still the same since the last time i went there

   The low lights inside the bar almost made me stumble but I held on to the door before falling.

Like always, the place was crowded and the mix of people talking and the small band who were playing reminded me why I definitely prefer to stay at home instead of going out. Don’t get me wrong, the band was good, I only hate this amount of noise. 

    I took a seat by the side of a group of four men, but it was too dark to see their faces. I avoided looking at any of them for a long time, so it wouldn't look like I was flirting or something.

    - Hey! It's been a long time since the last time you’ve been here. - I used to come here so often that I became friends with the bartender - How’s it going?

   - Great i think, just a bit down this week. - I tell him, with a heavy sight - But I'm here to relax, so, gimme the same as always.

   - Right away, dear! 

   The bartender called my name after some minutes to give me my drink, and I felt the back of my neck burn, like I was being watched. Slowly, I turned around and the four guys were looking at me. My eyes, now accustomed with the dim place, could recognize their faces. I forgot how to breathe when I realized who they were.  

  - Holy shit! I thought I heard your voice, but then I thought that I was getting insane - The man closer to me said, and a silly smile appeared on my face. - You remember me, right, darling?

    - How could I forget you, Frank? - I took a sip of my drink, still smiling. - And, believe me, I tried so fucking hard to.

    - So do I… 

    He took a deep breath and his gaze showed that he missed me as much as I missed him. 

    - When he knew that we’ll be doing some concerts here, he started to talk about you and didn’t stop - Ray said, giggling, while Frank gave him a deathly look. - Well, good to see you again, by the way!

    - Same, guys! - I looked at all of them and nodded, drinking again. - Eight years is too long, but at the same time it seems like it was just a week ago. 

    - Ain’t that the truth? Damn! - Frank didn’t stop to look at me as of the beginning of the conversation. If he keeps doing this, I'll end up kissing him. - You’re pretty as always. ya know?

    My world just tumbled down with his sentence. He used to say this daily to me, in the same way. I gasped and, just like a movie, I saw him, a sixteen boy sitting by my side at the school’s refectory saying this to me for the first time. 

    Ray, Gerard and Mikey walked away to the other side of the bar and Frank stood up when I didn’t respond. Unable to say anything, I just looked at his hazel eyes and felt him getting closer. The feeling of panic washed my body with the sensation of his lips on mine. His hands runned through my body and his tongue entwined in mine. 

    All this eight fucking years trying to get over him, and he made all of this be in vain. I missed his touch more than I could even imagine. 

    I lost my fingers in his hair and when we both were breathless, we pulled up and just looked at each other.

    - Shit, how I missed you! - Frank said, holding my waist. - Wanna take a walk outside?

    - Sure. 

    We walked at the door, letting all the noise behind. The cold air of the night reached my face and I shivered, my mind was so confused that I barely noticed that Frank was holding my hand. 

    - So… I don't even know how to start to say how much I regret leaving you.   

    He was looking down, and I've never heard him so serious before.

    - You didn’t leave me. It was consensual. 

    - Yeah, but.. but I blame myself every day for not insisting on continuing with you. - He whined with an evident remorse in his voice. The regretful tone of his sigh was painful for me to hear.

    - Wasn’t your fault, Frank. We were both immature. - I let go of his hand and put my arm around his neck, in an attempt to comfort him. I wish someone had told me the same thing I said to Frank. After he’s gone I felt as guilty as him, and it lasted all these years. - Altrought we can try again, ‘cause we made it clear to each other that we still have mutual feelings.

    - You’re right, but how is this gonna work? - We stopped walking and Frank looked at me. His confused gaze turned sad and worried as the next words left his mouth.  - You have your life here, and my music is my life so… 

   - Maybe we can try that long distance thing… - A little unsure of what he would think of the idea, I tried to accept the only possible option for our situation. - Seeing each other when you were not on a tour, spending holidays together, calling and texting each other every day...

    - Sounds like an idea to me.

    He smiled and pulled me closer to a kiss, this time i wasn’t worried about all that shit. I let the moment ride me and a hopeful sensation warmed my body even more than Frank’s hands on my face and hips. I felt on fire when the kiss turned deeper. 

    - Are you sure that you wanna try to do this? - I broke the kiss for an instant. 

    - I’m on there, baby! 

___________________________________________

~So... that's it. lemme know if you enjoyed ;)

[queenwhoneverwasx]

Eve Best as Farah Dowling I Fate: The Winx Saga S1 - S2

I was meant to post this when the one anniversary of season 2 dropped but life happened. (Little bit of a rant coming just fyi)

So the show got cancelled (boo!) and well, this happened. I have to admit this one really hurt. Ugh. I knew this was a possibility since Eve was working on HOTD and schedules were tough especially since they were still protocols to follow. But the writing of it all just made it ten times worse.

At least we got to say goodbye to her in a way in the show, and I know that hug was not only for Bloom but for all of us in this corner of the fandom, the ones who flooded Bryan and Fate's insta accounts with the hashtag 'bringfarahback', I just know they did all of this to give us some sort of closure and while it wasn't what most of us (certainly not me lol) expected at least we got to hear her as Farah one more time.

While I did enjoyed some aspects of S2 (mostly Terra and the fact that we got to see Rob and Ken more on screen) and saw improvements from the first one, sometimes it did feel like a different show than what we first saw. I was left kinda disappointed with the way they handled some characters and their storylines. Sam? What was that?

And don't even get me started on Saul's lack of reaction towards Farah?! I won't ever understand it. And I'm not saying this because I am a shipper but the woman that you fought alongside for years, was friends with for decades died and gave us absolutely nothing? Not a single reaction? Ok. (I have a headcanon to explain this otherwise it just hurts my soul lol)

And hello? The fact that the season was meant to have one more episode and it was scrapped?

It's like they couldn't figure out if they wanted to go full on with this version of the show or go full cartoon version or a mix of both and the result of it is what we got. I really hope that the fans of the cartoon get what they want from a live action soon.

But hey, I got attached to this group of magic fairies (and their teachers lol) and I do miss them.

I could talk about this for hours, but I'm gonna stay with all the positive this show gave me, which is some pretty cool people I got to talk to and fangirl with and all those months we spent theorizing and talking about our favorite trio. When I say I love our corner of the fandom I really do mean it.

PS: I was sure that if the show kept going she would've of come back one way or another, maybe in a future season. But hey, she will be alive and well in all of our fics :)

credit for pics

[mahiiimahiiii]

fuck it, guess we both aint' shit

a/n: sorry this fic took so long y'all i am so slow when i write. for context, i solely write before i go to bed and pass out with my phone attached to my head this was a request a while back when i was still active in bg3 circles lol so its been going for MONTHS at this point. i dunno how folks crank this shit out that's like a super power. anyways im playing skyrim now!!!!! im working on two fics, one skyrim and the other f:nv, because i love love loveeeee beatrix russell and also want my ttrpg character to have several enjoyable moments in her sad life. stay tuned! it may be a while for those to come out, so i appreciate y'all being patient. coops accent in this story is based on my own, im from the Appalachian region of virgina!! just to note we tend not to say the first letter of words. at least that was my accent and my experience each southern person will be different :)) please enjoy and let me know if you have any ideas, i'm always grateful for those.

ps. sorry for the long a/n lmao

(my doc says this is 19 pages!! my longest to date lmaooooo.)

general notes: named insert (fo1 character!!), doc is brown :))), i tried to stay pretty neutral with gendered language but doc has a pussy and boobs (sorry for being vulgar. it helps to specify their parts so you know what you're getting into) as always its a smut, and ooc cooper, i'm getting my feel for him, drugged sex, cannibalisim as a metaphor, barely disguised breeding fetish, restraints and rope play.

During the warmest months of a farming season you often asked yourself, why. 

Why did you decide to choose NCR sharecropping in the first place, and what made you so god damn lucky to leave Nevada alive. 

You had started off a trek from the high walled dunes of the new republic’s deserts for a more opportunistic place in Colorado. High walled mountains kept off raiders, but kept in heat and snow. So you worked tirelessly on the outskirts of a small settlement, modeled after a historic town out of a western film. 

Recently you received Brahmin from a trade deal which made planting significantly easier to do.

Brahmin dung was also good for another thing as well. 

Jet. 

Your tidy lab always stunk of fertilizer and smoked out herbs, this was a small production thing so the allowance to vary was there. You sun-dried the patties first, stacking the briquettes between bushels of dry and wild herbs, this would be burnt out and condensed into pressurized containers, if not mixed with a bit of water for easier spray abilities. 

This is where your actual money came from; compared to that farming was a hobby. You had a regular client coming in for a shipment. This one-a favorite of yours for a bit. Perhaps not for his “aesthetic appeal” though his sallow and gaunt skin holds echoes of the handsome man he was previously. 

No.. 

You liked his voice (though faux it was), and his bright teeth(stained with a yellow, making them seem more manilla if anything), the way his hat held over his brow (you could never see his eyes), the perch of his thumbs tucked into his belt (an odd position at that.), and the corners of his smile lines. With each step you took towards him, the professional in you took five steps back. You had half a shock at one point to care for him when he randomly appeared piss drunk at your step. The way he curled into you as his speech slurred, or the odd way he made himself comfortable on the couch. 

He told you you smelt nice that day. You sent him along with a packet of sober up pills and hangover meds.

You pressed down on the seed bed with a glove tugging at the carrot rooted in the Rocky soil. 

“Sonofabitch!” You cussed out as you tugged. You took a couple more stabs at the dirt again, loosening the ground around it. 

Your breathed in the deep blue sky surrounded by miles of mountains, the plains you resided in like the bottom of a welded goblet. 

You wiped the sweat off your brow, the chunky glove absorbing most of it. You tugged up the loosened carrot and tossed it into a small bin filled with produce. You stood up brushing off your overalls of excess soil. 

You carried the bin off, jumped by a hoarse whistle from the pasture. 

“There you are sweetheart!” He held a hand over his head, in greeting. 

“Hey you!” the ghoul gave you no name, so you referred to him in vague suggestions.

 “You certainly arrived early! What's the occasion? Could you help me with one of the baskets, Hun’?” 

He trotted over, the click and jingle of his spurs followed behind him. He hoisted one over his shoulder with ease. “Am I not allowed to see my favorite doctor? I found myself wandering about the area, supposed I'd drop by…I do know when I'm not welcome though.” 

“It would be awful rude of me to not accept your company.” You teased in return. He rolled his eyes, lugging the bins of produce to be sorted and sold up your porch steps. 

“Need a place to stay?” You didn't look up, as this generally came as a routine question. 

“Same as always.” He confirmed, stomping off the dirt from his boots. 

“Mind me changing then, hun?” your words didn't reflect affection, but showed shallow familiarity in them. 

He shrugged, “‘pose not, m’ gonna have a smoke on the porch.” 

“Take your time” you nod, trudging up the creaking and faded wood stairs. 

You weren't sure how to approach him, he had shown signs of interest previously, walking in on your out of the way showers, leaving things for him to come back and collect them, paying more caps for his shipment than usual. To be fair, you definitely indulged him- at one point you had complained about your water resource being devoid of warmed water. As you padded around with soaking skin and a fluffy towel, and a grumpy expression cemented on your lips. 

All this teasing didn't help those dreams, they started when he left an extra shirt from his pack. This one was dark and ragged, a change from his gray stained cowboy shirt with tassels. It smelt like him, and deeply so. You were ashamed to admit that you used it to pleasure yourself for a period of time. Eventually your breath stained the shirt and it no longer smelt like him; that was a depressing day indeed. 

You had handed the item back to him, he took it with a thin smile. I'm glad you took care of it. 

Weeks after an item of yours went missing, then returned in odd places. Socks, a camisole or two, most egregious was from your hamper, two pairs of bloomers you intended to clean. It was an unspoken agreement, an item exchange of sorts, perhaps he sought companionship on the heat stained road. 

To admit your affections weren't returned was a vague understatement, he had propositioned you on several occasions often asking to meet late at the barn, he was quick to release offering a thank you by allowing you to squeeze and grind down on his fingers as he cleaned the spent cum with a tossed aside shirt. It was always one of yours. 

Those moments were short, maybe if you offered a comfortable environment he'd be willing to play pretend. 

You tugged off the flannel that stuck to your sides, unclipping the overalls and tugging them over your shins. Your bones popped as you stretched, peeling off the soaked undergarments in exchange for one less distracting. The air was cool against your skin, you took a wetted rag from your ceramic basin and cleaned down your sweaty skin. You tossed the dirt stained clothes into your hamper: sucking in air between your teeth. The outfit you decided on was a loose button down, soft cotton slacks with a silver button, and some leather sandals. 

It wasn't your most dashing look, but it was an easy one, something to throw on as the sun began its track down.

+

You ate in silence, spoons clicking against cracked porcelain bowls. The stew was filling as per usual, but you kept your head down. 

He looked much more red with the checkered table cloth in front of him, his jaw working as he pulverized the food in front of him. 

The ghoul in front of you quirked a brow “you ain't becoming feral are ya? The rate you're scoffing supper down. I'm fraid to be your next meal!” 

“No m' just thinkin’. Tend to eat fast when I have lots to ponder.” you held the spoon to your lips tilting it and passing the savory broth over your tongue. 

The older man set down his spoon, a bit of confusion racking his brow. “yaint got much to think about. What a chemist n all. You're just plugged into all them formulas ,ain't you sweet pea?”

You grunt in somewhat acknowledgement “I guess”

The lower rooms in the evening became sticky hot without the curtains drawn, bright sun flames the sides of the buildings and glinted off the tarnished metal buckles and beads on the cowboys outfit. 

“Well.” You rose holding your empty bowl, the click of metal under porcelain still droning on at the other side of the table. “I'm pooped, I think it's time to retire to my room. Do some unwinding, the works. Goodnight, sir. “

You turned to leave, setting your bowl in the open kitchen sink, the ghouls voice interrupting your thoughts.

“Hey doc- I got an odd request.” The cowboy began. “Have you ever tried  jet?”

Cooper hesitated for once, feeling your warm skin beneath his palm, the way your pulse sang when he touched you. 

“You sure?” 

“Yeah.”

His thumb traced the corner of your mouth, lips parted delicately to taste. He had you pinned as you sunk into his figure, one hand flattened on his breast the other hanging limply at your side. You cupped it around the side of him, allowing him to move in close. 

He watched your eyes wide and dilate, your already oh so large pupils eclipsing your iris’s. 

This must've felt like light years away for someone not as attuned. 

Your breath washed against him, his nasal cavity picking the strong sickly scent of jet on your tongue, he could taste you in the back of his throat. 

“Tell me if anything is too much, as much as I seem gruff, I do desire the lady folk having an equal amount of fun.” 

You hiccup and nod, “yeah I understand - yessir.” 

“You don't try your own stock, doc?” He tilted his head, carefully leading your jelly body to the bed. 

“Jet ain't my choice- I usually go for day tripper. Slows you down a lot more, so I do it during sunny days. Things change and you can enjoy a lot more “ you talked with your hands he often noticed, but here they flew without meaning, like a puppet with cut strings. 

“Mmm.” He mused, a sound of recognition. He shut the bedroom door, the low light of the sun spilling in dappled puddles through your window. He kicked off his boots, placed them in a corner and set his heavy overcoat and hat on a chair. 

“Once again, are you sure? Is this what you want?” 

He was hesitant to approach, leaning over you with one knee on the soft mattress. The springs creaked under the shift in weight. 

“You certainly know how to make a girl beg for it.” You joke, cracking a half grin. 

“Being a tease comes with the territory, sugar.” he tucked a curl behind your ear, cupping your cheek with the rough palm of his hand. He listened to your breath flutter; that hit of jet has fucked you up. 

The rusted iron bed frame creaked under his shifting weight, mindful of your soft limbs as he coaxed your legs apart to hang on his hips- Your hair bloomed outward on the pile of cotton and straw pillows. eyes laden with a hazy glow that reflected the golden light. 

Your breath fanned over his face- sweet, tangy and rich. Your tongue swiped in-between your cracked lips coating them with a coating of spit, they glistened in the low golden sun. 

Your hand, weathered from soil, caressed his cheek with all the gentleness of a rose petal. He crooned and leaned into you, you were much more inviting of his touch, a satisfied “hmph” as what remained if his lips landed on yours. 

Your hands found the back of his neck pulling I'm into you. 

You felt soft, curling around his jagged edges like water droplets on a sky light. His fingertips tingle with electricity.

 You huffed tilting your head slightly, grabbing onto the collar of his shirt. Your skin pooled with heat, his thumbs finding the underside of your breast. He cradled your tap dancing heart between two palms. Your lips found a clumsy rhythm; one that he found nostalgic. It was easy to imagine being young with you, you made it look effortless. 

You pushed him away- cheeks stained a bright rosy pink as you gulped down air like an odd looking fish. Curls laid on your cheeks sticking up on odd and random places, if he was a much kinder man he would've tucked a strand behind your ear, issuing kisses that traced to your nose. You cracked a warm, half-smile; your hand finding a place under his cheekbone. 

You wheeze out quickly, coughing up fumes of jet; sputtering like a broken down car. “Your name-” you finally got out, “I never got your name.” 

There was sincerity in your eyes, innocence even- perhaps a hope that this wouldn't be another one-night stand. 

Perhaps today… he would allow himself to fly too close to the sun. For once- to bathe in the bright warm of comfort, the wholeness of companionship; the milk of human kindness. 

“Cooper.” 

“Cooper.” The sound rang off your cherry pink lips held by ivory teeth and a fleshy velvet tongue. “Cooper.” 

“And yours?” He asked quietly. 

“Just doc is fine.” You purse your lips, the joy that rang off your tongue snapped close like a heavy lid of a jewelry box - hiding the treasures from sight. You formed a slight business-like manner to your tone. 

He nodded curtly, shifting on his elbows to drape himself over you once more. 

He worked the buttons of your shirt off. helping you out of the loose cotton shirt- he licked his lips intently. It was truly an oasis of flesh to his gaze. 

He whistled low, his fingers twitching and buzzing- aching even, just to get a feel of the soft warm skin beneath him. “Arnt you the prettiest thing I ever did see” his voice was a lowered rasp.

The warm sun pooled below your sternum and held your face dearly. The lace frame around your pillow held up your portrait. 

The bounty hunter listened to your heart beat away in its cage. He then sat back on his haunches and dragged his fingers down your sternum. 

“Such pretty, soft skin “  he cooed. The nail in his finger digging into the surface leaving a trail of raised skin behind it. You wiggle at the prickling sensation on your skin. What game was he playing? 

He took an inhale as his palms cupped your shoulders and scooted down your sides, repeating in an almost massage like motion. He repeated the same kneading motion with your chest, a low sigh coming from his lips. 

He was used to an exchange or dance of sorts when it came to these circumstances. A relief of hand, or the jingle of caps in some woman's back pocket. The road has taken a toll on his aspect of companionship, for once he found himself slightly stupefied except for the notion to touch you. 

You melted into his warm palms; your eyes fluttering shut into relaxation. 

“Are you comfortable Cooper?” You broached the awkward silence of sighs with unease. 

“Doing just fine sweetheart, you relax now.” the vaquero chides; flicking your nipple as a slight retort. You tense at the sensation though unpleasant as it is enjoyable. 

The ghoul unbuttoned his vest, tossing it aside and leaving him in that faded vault tec cowboy shirt and pinstripe trousers. He loosened the top few buttons of his shirt, a bit self conscious of his form without all these layers. You blink slowly, re-assembling to settle your thighs around his hips. His kisses smudged your lipstick, cupping your jaw in one hand- the other cradling the pillow behind your head. you lean into his egging, lifting your neck for his teeth to graze. 

His tongue was the first sensation. licking a stripe up your collar broke you out into simple goosebumps. You close your eyes against the sensation of him latching onto your skin. One of his hands caressed your chest, the other held your hip- squeezing it gently. He left indents and bruises to litter your skin, a mauve flush of patchwork on your neck. As His bites ran below the collar- he shifted position. He kissed down your chest, marking a spot right above a mole. Dipping his head lower His tongue swirled around a nipple taking it into his mouth. 

The other was treated to the same palming while his other hand busied itself by burying into his boxers. 

A bittersweet image flooded his mind. As a younger man himself, he would take many lovers. Holed up in some trailer room on a daybed, lips puffed and tight pencil skirt tossed to the wayside, it left you cloaked in a mussed bone white blouse with a bow at the neck. Dark black heels dug into the velvet beneath your ass. The tight stifled moans- the ferocity of your grip- the way you offered to not ruin his set costume. 

Your glasses would slide down your nose as he coos would split you wide open like a piece of log. 

These dalliances were savory before married life, a taste he'd like to try again. 

He found himself switching, adjusting hands, welcome to an exasperated sigh of frustration from your lips. 

“Cooper” sounded off like a prayer, the rock of an ocean wave as he navigated down your sternum. 

He hooked a finger under your waistband- you burned brighter than any field of irradiated waste. “Now's your chance miss.” he hummed, stroking the sides of the scrunched fabric. 

Much to his chagrin, you nodded. A warm sickly sweet feeling of familiar warmth crept up the walls of his stomach. Was it pride? Longing? 

Whatever it was, he stared down the barrel of his would be nose. He wet his lips like a wolf about to blow down a stick building- and certainly, most certainly, he would make a meal of the javelina inside. 

Carefully he unwrapped you, laid bare before him your skin bristled underneath the heat of his hand. He sighed again for emphasis, the flashes of you in that scenario warmed the back of his mind. 

Another indulgent idea as his fingers skimmed against your hip line. His brow furrowed as he watched your eyes flutter shut again. 

Chaps pushed to under his knee, boxers and Levi's still clung to his thigh. In this he was a bit older, the sleepy dream holding an air of youth from the way you bit down on his hand and hesitated to fully sheath yourself onto him. In quick staccato motions that angled for just the right spot sent your teeth sinking into his hand. Your legs shook slightly as the tip of your heel curved around his calf. A careful balancing act 

His hands traced patterns onto your clit absentmindedly- bowing down to steal a slow kiss every once in a while. He was careful, he wanted something decadent. 

He kneeled at the altar between your hips, for he was but a man. 

He bit down on the flesh of your thigh, prodding your entrance with a finger- he sucked at the indented wound. Lifting up your thigh he left marks underneath the skin of your butt. He worked on opening you up- sliding a finger into you easily. You held eye contact, rolling your hips against his thumb and hand, figured in a pinching motion. Just one tug of the thread and he had you spiraled out. 

The air was laden with the heavy silence that wasn't the crackle of an obscure motown album. He added a second, your body rippling out like a Newton's cradle at the sensation.

“Coop’ shit-” were the first words you said in a bit. 

“Talk to me babygirl, can only do so much while my hands are busy.” He curled his fingers massaging the spongy tissue beneath their tips. 

“Coop-!” you whine again, leaning into the hand that cupped your face. 

Your brow was furrowed in concentration- moving your toes to avoid the muscles of your leg locking in place. 

“Are we just fond of sayin’ my name, hm? C'mon pretty girl, tell me whatcha like me to do.'' He growled, kissing the corner of your mouth, the side of your nose, up to your furrowed brow.

He kissed back down your chest, kissing the flesh of your thighs. 

He began his game of chicken- cupping your back one thumb drawing circles into your sides. 

“Tell me.” He urged.

his lips drew near your throbbing clit heat pulsing in waves from your legs. 

“God, you're really having me do this?”  you puff up a bit, embarrassment settling into your skin. 

“Ain't no shame in being polite, sweetheart.” He chides “your parents teach you manners? Now am I gonna spell it out for you or what?” His tongue dipped between your folds; tracing light circles around the bundle of nerves. 

You hissed like a tea kettle, bending the knee for better access. “Please sir.” Your tone was condensed as you struggled to keep composure, or lest you break in your bed partner's nose a bit more. 

“Please what, be specific sweetheart.”  

 your warm palm squeezing the back of his head felt just right 

You swore under your breath, mustering the courage from the depths of your stomach, sacrificing your bruised pride in return. “please I'd like to- like you to eat me out.” 

“What a sweet girl, perhaps I'll reward her for being so polite, hm? What do you think doc.” He grinned, flashing the aged and manilla teeth in his maw. 

You deflate, nodding your head in almost defeat. 

The ghoul hummed in approval- his fingers once stilled began to tap dance happily against your inner walls. He wove himself into you, mouth latched firmly onto your clit- his dark blown eyes flashing up to your reddened face every once in a while. 

Your thighs framed his head. He had lifted one over his shoulder for better access to your core. Your legs hooked around his neck, trapping him closer. 

The sound of slurps made your stomach twist into hard knots. Contented and pleasured groans fell around you- sending small vibrations to your clit. You held onto his bicep, after a while he offered his other hand. 

To be eaten alive by another man was only discussed in the late hours of the evening. Cigarette smoke drawn from his teeth hissing away like a steam engine as you talked. You felt consented like one humming giant beast.

The cartilage of his nose bumped against your clit as he went to taste you. Squeezing the delicate fingers of yours pink, he pressed his hips into the mattress trying to relieve some pressure. 

“Coop’! holy shit-!” He felt your walls contract around his hand, clamping down in them. He was quick to remove himself leaving you sullen and empty 

Partially to stave off an orgasm from how nimble his fingers could be. Years worth of repairs means one getting good at tasks like sewing.

“Tsk tsk tsk. Can't have my baby spoiled yet.” Cooper tutted stealing a peck from your lips.

Your lips formed a whine as he sat back licking his fingers clean. “Ain't right if I can't have some fun too, hm? Ain't that right, sugar.” His lips twitched into a smirk as he unclasped his unruly belt wiggling down the rough denim over his ass and thighs. He splayed his legs and sat back on his haunches, eyes flicking back up. He wasn't bigger than average, but he was certainly thicker. A pert and red head with pulsing green veins that ran down the side. his legs and hips were surprisingly less marred than the rest of his body, resulting in just a light texture on his cock. 

“You're awfully quiet now sweetheart, see something you like?” He teased, prowling his way back up your form, his lips mapping the thin and light scars on your smooth skin. 

He slid his member along your folds bumping his head against your clit. “Ain't you just hot n’ bothered, hm sweetheart?” 

He could feel you trying to squeeze down around nothing desperately looking for something to work on your arousal with. 

“Roll over for me, pup.” This came out as a snarl, a harsh command from the sweetness he usually treated you with. He spat into his hand. Rubbing it along his shaft as a makeshift lube. 

You laid there ass exposed to the warm light. Your knees pressed into the mattress below.

The cowboy readied his condition to be that of a sour patch kid, enticed to show vulnerability but apprehensive enough to snap. A high emotional state for him.

He watched your ass bounce as you turned, your head cushioned by your pillows. You stared at him from behind. Those big eyes of yours would be the inevitable death of him. He filled a palm with your flesh squeezing it gently before quickly smacking it. 

The force made it jiggle again, the sounds of the slaps sounding sharp and sour. His warm hands palmed the fullness of your reddened ass rutting himself between your cheeks. 

“God I could just cum just like this, all over this gorgeous ass of yours.” Cooper sighed, bending forward for a better angle. 

“‘s your choice” your voice slurred- giving away the concentrated effort not to beg like a bitch in heat. 

His hand was quick, the slap left your skin tingling. “I don't take backtalk well miss. If there's something you want, we ask for it- politely. The ncr hadn't brought back the old worlds manners with it as well I see. I’ll make a respectable woman out of you yet.” 

You snorted, “ain't no manners when you were raised with a gun in your hand. I'm not a common whore from the strip. I'm an educated whore.”

“Damn right.” He growled with a swift serving of pain to your ass. He pinched it and jiggled it slightly. He stopped for a moment in a split decision, bowing his head and kissing the skin under his hand, “sorry.” heaving a sigh from the bottom of his chest. “ It's a shame this gotta end so soon.” 

“You don't have to go just yet coop’” you attempted to reassure the older man “you can stay at my place if you'd like. Didn't know you were having this much fun tossin’ the sack. Seemed…casual to me.” 

“I'm only human, ain't we supposed to be social creatures doc?”  his hands smoothed over your back. The gesture was meant to be reassuring, a peace offering beforehand. 

“ ‘pose so. Alright then, I don't get how this relates to you fucking me raw soon.” you teased, turning your head to the side of a pillow to gaze back at him, a slight coyness to your lowered lashes. 

“It ain't.”  his mouth fused mostly together into a wide and glistening smile, seemed a bit wider- cheeky almost. “Since you asked so nicely…” he trailed off, the head of his member rubbing against the folds of your entrance. “What was it you wanted? Gee I don't remember- maybe the radiation is getting to me after all- you're gonna have to remind me.” 

You shoved your hips back in a retort- trying to capture all of him just from the sensation of his members head prodding your entrance. 

“Oho!” He chuckled softly “getting feisty aren't we.”  You felt the warmth behind you fade. You looked back in confusion. The vaquero bowed, kissing a splotch of red on your ass. “Eyes forward, doc.” He commanded, and so his will, will be.  Behind you he rustled, searching for something, he hummed quietly once he found it, his lasso.  The ghoul fastened a hangman's knot at the end of the rope tying it between your ankles and knees. Another loop and knot at your hip then over a shoulder and under an arm. So when he pulled back he would pull all of you. He went back to rummaging, pulling a pair of stockings out of your sock drawer, loosely tying them around your wrists, an odd touch of care considering that the rope already bit at your skin. “Now are you gonna behave? Or must I do this the hard way. 

“I'll certainly try my best” you tilted your hips up, popping your back. “Can't promise much from one so ornery as myself.”

“Well then if you act up I'll just cum on your ass. Fair deal?” he spread your lips apart, broaching your entrance. His other hand dipped in front of you pressing down on your stomach to avoid initial cramping. 

You gasped and grit your teeth. “fair deal.” 

“Ain't you a gentleman then coop, your hands quite a nice temperature” 

“Thank you” he purred, adjusting his hips as he sank into you, “just the polite thing to do when you don't have lube.” 

His hand shifted to your clit, pinching gently at the sensitive nub. Heat bloomed like hot house poinsettias at your core. He grunted at your walls clasping down and memorizing everything about him. 

“Ain't you nice and tight.” The cowboy hummed, wiping at his brow. “This is gonna take forever if you don't relax.”

And oh God did you feel wonderful. Tight to the center with just a bit of friction enough to cling onto him. 

“Ain't much relaxing to do when you're pumped up on jet.” You lowered the floor of your stomach trying to accommodate his length.

“Ain't that so? Just looks like we’ll have to do some forcin’ huh?” He shifted his hips out ever so slightly and eased his way back in. Slow and comfortably, he manually stretches you out. You moaned out into the pillow beneath you, leisurely thrusts scraping against your walls. You clung to him like a glove, his balls merely tapped against your vulva. A warm soreness hit the back of your core as he tugged the rope down onto him.the fibers bit your sides, neck, and hips, searing their marks of claim onto you. He leaned forward, the sink slow but hitting the back of your cervix, your sex made a soft squishy sound as he hit hilt, panting like a feral mongrel dog. 

“God I hope this is what heaven feels like-” he sighed, rolling his hips. 

The cowboys sunburnt peach skin flushed a blotchy red around his cheeks. “m gonna come to visit more often- just to cum in this pretty hole of yours.” 

“You've got an awfully dirty mouth coop’” you teased, sneaking a smile behind the round of your ass. This wasn't the first time the older ghoul had asked for favors, but always always always he cried like it had. 

“not true, I followed my momma's instructions to brush my teeth every night” his grin peaked to the side. Hand quick as a flash landing itself on your rump, you let out a little oof. 

“your momma did a piss poor job then..”  You retort, lowering your chest to hit a more connected angle. 

His knees settled down in-between your thighs. Spread apart with the rough indented and textured skin of his bare skin. 

  He settled back in his calves, his hand lazily finding its way back to your clit massaging it in small pulses, pinched beneath his thumb and forefinger. 

With his hips settled back, the top of his head slid against one of your sweet spots, sending pulses like a fiddle string down your spine.

You burrowed deeper into the pillow, stifling the moans that threatened to spill from your lips. 

He held a hand to your side that was surprisingly gentle. He bowed his head and curled inward- kissing the small on your back. 

“This ok with you? May I get a little faster?” the ghoul has asked. 

You let out a grunt of approval, backing your hips fully on his member. At this pace you became playful lifting your hips at the last second, eeking soft whines of content through his teeth. He tipped his head back, coopers warm hands snuck under the rope to brace your hip.

“Agh, fuck.” The rasps he made ached in your throat. “Darlin I can't do this, flip over.” 

and so you did. 

Between his ribs there settles a faint green glow, like some sort of demented lightning bug. 

Cooper worked at getting the lower ropes off your legs allowing some freedom, but kept the ones that framed your chest. Your hand tied up to the bedpost like a malfunctioning bungee cord.

“There you are.” The ghoul cupped your cheek, his thumb drew small circles into its hollow. You laced your legs behind his calves as he entered again, precoating your walls with pre-come.the cowboys eyes became half lidded and fluttered, he was going insane just being inside you.  His hips were an attempt at a measured pace, speeding up every once in a while to keep you on your toes. 

The older man leaned down to kiss you, his lips and hands clung to you with a sense of rushed intimacy. The smell of your sweat clung to his rope and to his skin promising domesticated life of sorts, if he just stayed. 

You hitched your knees up above his hips, the edge of the bed thumping into the wall behind you. Cooper leveraged himself a bit more sinking in quickly making your thighs sting. 

 He quickly rutted his hips, the ghouls hands cupping your contorted face as clicks of irradiated sweat fizzed around you. 

You felt light headed, a dull throbbing pulsed through your mind. You could barely keep your eyes open to hold contact without them shutting or rolling back in their sockets. 

“Coop-” you whispered, “holy shit I'm close- you're gonna break me sweetheart -”

“Ain't that so? That's a shame hm? That you have to wait?” 

“No-” you whined, clenching your jaw “no please- coop- don't-” your mind ran like a panicked rabbit instinctively rocking your hips back down. Sticky sweat clung to you, droplets sidling down your hips like a rain shower. You sounded exhausted, covering up your eyes with an arm as you continued to mindlessly back into him

 His hand drew circles on your hip, moving up to your lower belly and pressing down. Cooper raised his arm up to wipe the sweat off his brow. 

“Want you to feel every little sensation.” His tone was staccato and clipped. “God you're so tight- enjoying yourself huh?” his smile grew as he watched you melt into a puddle before him.

“Coop-” something ripped out of the bottom of your chest, vicious and animalistic, you barred your teeth, squeezing around him taut as wire. 

The cowboy was relentless, teeth sinking down into the alcove of your neck monitoring the fogginess of your pupils 

The light flooding the windows with gold sunk down to a murky violet, a bright orange sun sitting center on the smoky horizon like an unfried egg.

“I'm so close, baby.” he pleaded in a soft tone “just a bit more.” 

Your grip tightens on him. “Coop I can't-” your sentences slur, your mind cramping from a quick release. Your walls pulse repeatedly. Your lips pull back, framing yellowed gritted teeth. 

He leans back, Pawing at your chest on his haunches. His hips patterned like a bumpy ride on a caravan, a two tap system as he stretched through the tighter ring near your cervix. Everything in his mind screamed to knock you up, a sham of the biological drive to have children and settle down. He would hope the call of domesticism would be satisfied by orgasm. A measly offering at best

He leans down, licking up the side of your chin and gathering a drop of sweat. He groaned softly, his hips jutting and staying there for a second. Your walls cramped down around him begging for another release. His hips slowed to an easy trot, keeping the pace steady and easy on your walls. His head curled into your neck, wheezing quietly like a ghoul on the verge of ferality. Cooper throbbed and pulsed, knotting his limbs into yours. You could feel every ridge and crease of him inside you, memorizing it like a map.the sides of your walls stung with arousal and numbness from overstimulation, it was a very fantastic and overwhelming sensation.The older man groaned into your ear as you squeezed down again on him. Completely entranced by the way you felt around him. His lower lip jutted out as he chewed at the side of it. His eyes were soft round and watery, bright white sclera seeped with yellow and red in their inner corners. The bed creaked softly underneath the relatively gentle rocking. The ghoul kissed up your neck, keening out into the crest of your ear. “God I think I may come sooner than expected” he grunted nibbling on the outer shell of your ear. He felt like he left orbit, and his skin set aflame. He set his body flush against yours, the lower half of his belly pressed against your clit. You flinched at the sensation, shooting lightning bolts down your thighs and heating up the already soggy air around you. Your legs peddled and extended down intending the sheets, flexing around his hips to tugging at the mix of stockings that held your arms back. Cooper's movements became a lot more quick and erratic, slamming himself down to sheathe his length fully, crying into the alcove of your neck, he shook as he wheezed our breaths of submission to the will of domesticity. He pushed his hips forward, the ropes of cum painted your walls. He pinched his lower base and jerked off into you, pressing everything into your folds. The ghoul then lowered his head and kissed you, the hiccuping sensation of rocking his hips back into yours due to a stimulant that was so salivating to him. 

“God, doc. What a trip, and what a treat you are.” 

“Have I made you a changed man, cooper?” you could barely keep your eyes open a fucked out sort of exhaustion taking hold 

The older man shrugged, “I'll sleep on it and consider.” 

He sighed, reaching over for a towel that lay on the ground and pulling out, and cleaning you up. He tossed the towel again, and landed himself next to you. “c'mere’ I'm not evil enough to leave you short handed.” He curled around you, his hand fitting in the crease of your hip. And that's where he stayed until dawn.

[interlunium-opus]

►DANCING WITH THE DEVIL #003 [Sunghoon.] — teaser

Previous Parts ‣ #001 | ‣ #002

Abstract: Juxtaposing the way your town was beginning to get a new lease on life after the authorities finally found the culprit behind your town's recent serial killings, your life was fraying at the edges instead as you still had to continue battling your inner demons on the daily – from nightly terrors to random flashes of visions – the latter of which, for mysterious reasons, seemed to only happen when you are face-to-face with Park Sunghoon, the bane of your existence.  The more distraught you were over it all, the more convinced you were to get to the bottom of it, even if it means wreaking hell with the bane of your existence and waltzing with him in a game of his own making. You knew you were treading dangerous waters in doing so but you figured, if your days are numbered, then you'd rather go down fighting, dragging him down with you. But with the line between hate and love being thin, someone is bound to slip up soon, thereby threatening to ensnare the both of you deeper into the tangled web that Sunghoon had spun for you in the first place.

Genre: vampire!sunghoon | horror | thriller | fantasy | romance (or is it? 😋)

Status: released >> click me <<

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A/N: hi guys! I'm back. At least it’s not a 1-year wait again this time unlike last time oop- 💀 thank you so much for the love you all showered for Dancing with the Devil. I kid you not ever since Dark Blood concept teasers were released, that series gained a new lease on life, it was so stupefying lol ((unless someone boosted that fic somewhere, I can only think of the latest album casting a long-overdue well-justified spotlight towards vampire!enhypen as it should))

This 3rd chapter is actually quite hard to write. I have tonnes of ideas but once written they become too long, too messy, too arduous and too disjointed that every time I revisit it to continue writing it, I just end up scrapping a huge chunk of it and rehauling it. Eventually, after months of re-writing and after at least rehauling it 20 times (I know I suck), I have finally written about almost ~17k of it and am finally satisfied with how the story is going and flowing for the most part. So all that is left now is to fill in the gaps in each sections, make sure they flow nicely and make sure each section ends in such a way that makes your heart drop. Then of course to proofread it. I can’t promise you a date but rest assured, I won’t vanish on you hahaha maybe by the end of this month? That’s a safe bet. I get antsy if I drag it too long anyway.

Let me just say though, if you love ((tension)) and the hate((-love)) relations between the two in this series – you’ll love this chapter 😉😉 😉 (lol where is this overconfidence coming from, have some shame A.). But yeah, I was sick of how much I was dragging it in the initial drafts so as I rehauled it I was so obsessed in making sure that hey were at each other’s throat in a more love hate way rather than hate hate way. I've also made y/n more feisty and confrontational to ✨stir✨ the tension further. Basically, if you want a hint of what went down, the hint lies in the moodboard above OHOGOOHOHOH

ps. If you’re feeling extra nice and generous, do drop me some kind words about my work in my inbox to get my motivations burning 🔥

[charmac]

Hi there! Just wanted to say I love your writing and love reading your posts about sunny! I was wondering, would you ever consider doing something like a "DVD commentary" on your fics? Your writing feels so firmly rooted in canon, I'm really curious about all of the references to the show that inform your characterization bc I'm sure I'm missing so much!

Thank you!!

That's funny cos in my head when I'm writing I definitely am thinking like, how I would respond/discuss certain parts if people commented on a line or asked about a scene.. but no one every really does lol

I would definitely consider doing something like that, for sure, I think the problem (at least with Sugar) is I don't wanna give away or accidentally spoil anything... which can be tricky with my insistence to keep the reader out of Dennis' head as much as possible. But if you mean just like directly pointing out lines or scenes I've more-or-less stolen from canon, that would be fun to go through!

That's why I love writing AUs so much, because it's like a puzzle of figuring out how their canon histories, dynamics and scenes can directly work or be manipulated to fit the situation and characterise them as if they're still basically in canon

I'm open to ideas on how to do commentary for sure! It may help kickstart my brain back into writing, I've been a little too obsessive over minute canon details instead.

PS. I love your art to death, I'm so happy you enjoy my fics!