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fridayfirefly · 5 years

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Lost and Found [Part Three]

Masterlist | Ao3

A/N: Sorry for the long wait, but I wanted to make sure this chapter was perfect, and now I’m super proud to show you all

The evening after Damian made his leap of faith and lost the pen was one of the rare nights where his entire 'family' managed to make it to the dinner table. Grayson and Barbara (Damian used her first name only because she threatened to ram him with her wheelchair if he kept calling her 'Gordon') drove in from their shared apartment in Blüdhaven. They were Soulmates, currently dating and soon to be engaged, if the ring box in Grayson's sock drawer (which Damian found when he broke into their apartment last month) meant anything. Todd came in that morning unannounced, claiming to be "in the mood for Alfred's cooking" (Damian suspected that Todd simply doesn't like eating alone, but said nothing). Drake was free for dinner because he didn't have any evening classes at Gotham University. Stephanie Brown arrived the day prior because Drake asked for her assistance on a case he was working on. Of all the heroes who fought crime in Gotham, Damian was least knowledgeable about Stephanie Brown. In all the time Damian had lived with Father, he had only spoken to Brown a few times and had only patrolled with Spoiler once. However, it seemed that Damian would be patrolling with Spoiler a lot more in the coming weeks. Earlier that day, Brown had offered to remain in Gotham and take Grayson's place on patrols. That way, Grayson could stay in Blüdhaven, instead of driving to Gotham on his nights off at the Blüdhaven police force to patrol.

Selena Kyle showed up for dinner as well, though she made no references to their conversation the night before. Father and Alfred were also at the dinner table, but Damian already knew that they would be there. Damian had lived with Father for almost three months, and he had seen the way that the Manor worked. People came and went; it seemed that the only people who stayed the same were Father and Alfred.

Once dinner started, conversations drifted around Damian. He struggled to find the right words to explain that he made contact with his Soulmate. He felt the need to say it, if only for the purpose of stopping Grayson's constant nagging.

“So when’s Connor coming to visit?" asked Barbara.

Damian turned his attention to Drake, interested in any news about Drake's Soulmate. Damian had yet to meet Connor Kent, but he was certainly interested in meeting one of his brother's Soulmates.

"He's coming over a week from Saturday and then staying for a week until the new semester at Metropolis University starts. Connor's bringing Clark, Lois, and Jon along with him. Jon's still on summer vacation, so Clark and Lois plan on leaving him here with Connor for the week so that he isn't home alone all day while they're at work."

"Jon is Damian's age, right?" Barbara asked.

"Yeah, Jon's turning thirteen next month," Drake answered.

Damian wondered what Jonathan Kent would be like. Hopefully not as immature and imbecilic as his classmates at Gotham Academy.

As the conversation hit a lull, Grayson piped up, "Damian, what's new with you? Are you still ignoring all your problems?" Grayson's tone was far too innocent for the taunt veiled underneath the niceties. Damian shot Grayson a glare, which was matched by Grayson's own stubborn look. Logically, Damian knew his teasing was fueled by well-intentioned concern, but Damian still found it annoying.

"Don't call her a problem," Damian growled. No one at the table looked concerned by their interaction, so Damian assumed that Babs and Stephanie had both been informed of what had happened two weeks ago. "The answer is no, anyways. I'm not ignoring her. I lost something for her last night."

All other conversations halted when Damian revealed his secret. "Good for you, Demon Spawn," Todd said, speech muffled by the mouthful of food he was trying to talk around.

"That's great news!" Grayson's face was lit up. "We should celebrate. I haven't had an opportunity to throw a party at the Manor in ages."

Damian sighed. Any attempts to halt Grayson's party planning would surely fail. There was no stopping Grayson’s unnerving desire to celebrate every little thing.

"Babs and I can set it up. We can do it next Saturday, while the Kents are here. After all, it's been months since the last time the Banquet Hall was used."

Father rolled his eyes at Grayson’s antics, the slight upturn of his lips proved that he was in support of Grayson's idea. It had been less than one minute since told his tell his family that he had lost the pen for his Soulmate to find, and he was already regretting it.

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It had taken Damian six hours and eighteen jewelry stores throughout Gotham to find the perfect gift to give to his Soulmate. It was a bracelet, made of silver and designed to look like feathers wrapping around the wrist. But it still wasn't perfect, which was why Damian was knocking on Drake's bedroom door.

Drake opened his door, looking much better rested than he had at dinner two days prior. The dark circles under his eyes had faded, and Damian could see only one coffee cup on his desk, instead of his usual three to seven. "Do you need anything?"

Damian nodded. "There is something I need assistance with. Given that it is within your area of expertise, I came to you for help."

Drake looked shocked at Damian's request, but also interested. "Come on in."

Damian walked into Drake's room and shut the door behind him. "I understand that you are knowledgeable about nanotechnology." Damian set the bracelet down on Drake's desk. "Would you be able to monitor heart rate and blood pressure through this, without the modifications being obvious to its wearer?"

Drake picked the bracelet up and examined its size and weight. "It'll take me a few days, but I think it can be done..." Drake trailed off, grabbing a spare piece of paper off his desk and jotting notes down. "It's for your Soulmate, right?"

"Yes."

"Cool," said Drake, "Is there anything else you want to be added to it?"

Damian paused for a moment, considering his words. "Could you add a tracker? One that activates only if the heart rate and blood pressure monitors detect that she's in potentially life-threatening conditions?"

Drake nodded. "I can definitely do that. If I connect everything to an app on your phone, then those kinds of settings can be done through the app rather than through the bracelet itself. But you know, I won't judge you if you want the tracker to be available to you now."

Damian shook his head. "I don't want to invade her boundaries. I just want to keep her safe and out of harm's way."

"That's genuinely really cool of you, Damian," Drake said. "I think Connor's going to like you."

"Tt. Everybody likes me."

Drake laughed. "Sure, Demon Spawn."

Damian turned away from his brother, leaving the room before Tim could catch the small smile on his face.

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"No more complaining, Dami. I didn't get to throw you a Welcome to the Manor party or a belated Birthday party, so you're going to suck it up and enjoy this one," Grayson instructed. He and Barbara had already bought refreshments, created a playlist titled "Can Damian Even Dance?", and decorated the Banquet Hall. Though in Damian's opinion, a blind cat would have been better at decorating than Grayson. Instead of buying normal party decorations, He and Barbara had gone to thrift stores, buying up used gender reveal party decorations. They then wrote the word Soulmate overtop of 'boy' or 'girl' so that each banner proclaimed "It's a Soulmate."

"I'm not complaining. I just think that your decorations look terrible."

"Don't call them terrible, they're made with love." Grayson could barely keep a straight face while saying it.

Damian rolled his eyes and walked out of the Banquet Hall, heading towards the foyer. He knew that Grayson was the type to go all-out when it came to showing his emotions (i.e. throwing a party to show that he's proud of Damian and supports him) but Damian wasn't really the type to enjoy a party, especially when he's the guest of honor.

"The Kents are here," Tim called out as he opened up the front door.

Damian watched as Tim greeted the Kent family. Damian had already met Clark Kent, though strictly through his superhero identity and was familiar with both Connor and Jon's time spent as Superboy. And Lois Lane-Kent, Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist and author of an award-winning novel (which Damian has read), was just as well-known in America as Superman.

“Clark, I know you've already met Damian, but the rest of you should come and meet him. After all, Dick is throwing the party in his honor.”

Damian walked into the foyer to meet Tim’s Soulmate’s family. “Hello,” Damian dipped his head in greeting.

“It’s nice to meet you, Damian,” Lois politely greeted him.

"I've read your book," Damian blurted out. "I found your commentary on the negative ramifications of superheroes on our society to be enlightening."

Lois smiled brightly, "I'm glad you enjoyed it. I've always been interested in how Superheroes influence modern society, and I think it's important for people to understand that Superheroes aren't always a good thing to have. Because Superheroes exist, citizens allow themselves to become complacent, pushing the burden of stopping crime onto Superheroes, instead of trying to prevent people from becoming criminals in the first place. It's definitely a multifaceted phenomenon, and one that our society needs to be aware of."

"It's a very complex issue," Damian agreed. "I hope we can talk about this further at a later date."

Lois nodded. "Definitely." She glanced towards her husband. "Clark and I should go find Bruce and catch up with him." The pair left the foyer, walking in the direction of Father's office. Damian, Tim, Connor, and Jonathan walked in the opposite direction, towards the Banquet Hall.

"So you're Damian," said Connor. "Tim's told me a lot about you."

"Tt. Knowing Drake, it's likely all lies and slander. Drake's jealousy often gets the best of him."

"Jealous of what? The fact that you're so effortlessly annoying?"

"You're obviously envious of my innate ability to do everything better than you."

Connor, Tim's Soulmate, let out a laugh. "Tim didn't tell me that you're funny."

"He's not funny, Connor. He's annoying. Now come on, you have to see the decorations Dick and Babs put up. They're awful."

"How do you mess up party decorations?" Jonathan Kent asked.

Tim made a face. "Dick likes to challenge himself by putting up the worst possible decorations. Last year he and Babs convinced Alfred to have us all make the Christmas tree decorations ourselves. I still don't think I've gotten all the glitter out of my hair."

“At least these decorations are harmless,” Damian cut in. “Imagine what would have happened had Father not vetoed Grayson's Fourth of July cookout earlier this summer.”

Connor laughed. “That definitely wasn’t Dick’s best idea. I doubt that fireworks and the Wayne family mix well.”

When they got to the door to the Banquet Hall, Grayson's music already playing, Tim turned to Damian. "By the way, Damian, I finished the modifications that you asked for. It's in my room on my desk when you want to go get it."

"Sure. Tell Grayson I'll be a few minutes."

Tim and Connor walked into the room, but Jonathan stayed behind. "Is it for your Soulmate - what Tim was fixing for you?"

Damian's eyes narrowed. "Maybe."

Jonathan's face brightened. "Cool. Are you planning on losing it tonight?"

“I take it Tim told you and his Soulmate about my Soulmate," Damian commented, ignoring Jonathan's question.

"Tim didn't tell me, Tim told Connor. He wanted Connor's advice on how to apologize to you, for what he said about your Soulmate. I couldn't help but overhear; superhuman hearing doesn't exactly have an off switch. Besides, I was mostly just interested in the fact that your Soulmate is French. My Soulmate's French too."

Damian didn't know how to respond to that. Jonathan Kent was like a breath of fresh air. He was entirely unconcerned about Damian's wealth and status. He understood the sort of responsibility that being a superhero entailed but didn't get weighed down by it. He had just met Damian but already trusted him enough to reveal information about his Soulmate. Jonathan Kent, who seemed so easy to read at first glance, was secretly a conundrum.

The modifications on the bracelet were almost completely imperceptible to Damian's trained eye. Besides a small change in weight, it appeared unchanged. "I like the feathers," said Jonathan, "Definitely more subtle than anything I could come up with. But what was Tim doing with it?”

“Modifying it,” Damian said curtly. “It now measures heart rate and blood pressure.”

Jonathan nodded, “That’s a smart idea. I might have to ask Tim to make me one."

As they left Tim's room, Jonathan continued to fill the silence. "I don't know how you managed to not lose something for so long. I lose stuff all the time. My Soulmate will probably end up figuring out I'm Superboy because I accidentally misplaced my uniform."

"Your Soulmate doesn't yet know that you're Superboy?"

Jonathan shook his head. "We haven't met in person yet, plus the language barrier makes communication through the Soulbond difficult if we aren't both using translators. My Soulmate only speaks a little bit of English, and I'm even worse at French. But I'm getting better. I take classes now."

"I'm fluent in French," Damian added. "If you ever need something translated, I'm sure I could take the time to help you out." Jonathan Kent was one of the few genuinely good people Damian had met. Damian wanted to get to know him better.

"Thanks, Damian."

As Damian passed his bedroom doorway, he noticed something new sitting on his bed. A black book. He changed course, heading straight towards his new Soulmate object. It was a sketchbook. Damian quickly flipped through the crisp, new pages. His Soulmate must be a designer - the first three pages contained clothing designs. The first page was a dress, pink and white striped with a bow around the waist. The second page was a jacket, olive green with gold-colored buttons. The third page was a plain white t-shirt, simple at first glance, but the detailed notes beside the design indicated that she meant to cover the shoulders and shirt sleeves in a detailed embroidery.

"Wow," said Jonathan. "Did you know that your Soulmate was so talented?"

"No," Damian breathed out, taking in every little detail. He had never been so fascinated by fashion designing. Everything about the sketchbook showed talent, dedication, and skill. He could hardly tear his eyes away from the sketches - they were so detailed, with little notes in the margin indicating everything from what store to go to to buy the fabric, to the exact shade she wanted, to whether or not it needed hand stitched. All three pages were dated August 20th - she had planned out all three pieces of clothing that very day. Damian couldn't quite believe that his Soulmate was so perfect.

But pushing towards the front of his mind was the knowledge that he would have to return the book. It was obviously important to her, something she would never want to lose. Damian pulled his phone out and took three pictures, one of each of the sketches, to make sure he didn't forget a single detail. Then he grabbed a sticky note off of his desk and wrote, "I figured you might want this back - D.W."

Damian could feel Jonathan watching him. "I'm glad you're a good person, Damian."

"Thanks," Damian said dryly, but the compliment still stuck with him. He had never cared about being a good person until he lived with his Father. He didn't think he would be good at it, but maybe he was wrong.

Then, it was just a matter of losing the sketchbook so that she could get it back. Damian, not wanting the book to get damaged in any way, decided to just toss it into one of the open doorways on the way back to the Banquet Hall. It worked to lose the book only because the Banquet Hall was in one of the sections of the Manor that was rarely ever used, except during social gatherings. The twisting hallways and odd door placements were designed to keep snooping Gala guests from getting into the main part of the Manor without physically locking doors. According to Grayson, they also made for very intense games of Hide and Seek, which Damian had yet to play (Grayson had promised him a game, though, and had yet to break a promise).

"So what is your Soulmate like, Jonathan?" Damian asked him once they found their way back into the Banquet Hall.

"You know, you can call me Jon." Jon's facial expression switched to something that could only be described as dreamy. "My Soulmate... he's wonderful. He loves music, it's his biggest passion. He sends me music recommendations all the time, usually weekly playlists, unless he's bored or wants me to listen to something special. His favorite color is green and he has a pet turtle named Oliver. He has three best friends beside me, and he says he can't wait to meet me in person, but we're waiting until we're at least fifteen."

The night passed quickly in Jon's company. It was a new experience for Damian, having someone his own age to talk to. Conversation flowed easily from Soulmates to Superheroes to school. It was the first time Damian genuinely felt like he had made a friend.

Once midnight came around the party ended. Lois and Clark left to drive back to Metropolis, and Grayson and Barbara left for Blüdhaven. Tim took Connor up to his room, and Brown and Todd both left for their own (rarely used) bedrooms. Damian knew that Jon was staying in the guest bedroom three doors down from his own, so he offered to take him there.

The sticky note on his floor was the first thing Damian noticed, once he was finally alone. Written in the same handwriting as the designs from before was the sentence, "Thanks, it's a birthday present from my parents - M.D.C."

Damian knew it was time to give his Soulmate the bracelet. Wrapping it alongside the box of replacement pens he had gotten her, Damian made sure to write in his best handwriting, "Happy Birthday M. From your Soulmate, D.W."

Taglist: @fanboy7794 @mikantsume @hetalia-lover-is-here @howtoshuckatlife @you-will-never-know-how-i-think @redscarlet95 @derpingrainbow @friedchickening @constancetruggle @melicmusicmagic @beautym3 @kunstner1 @shizukiryuu @worlds-tiniest-spook-pastry @crazylittlemunchkin @black-streak @darkshadowguardian @mystery-5-5 @trubel43 @fandomfan315 @vincentvangoose

#lost and found #marinette #damian wayne #marinette x damian #maribat #maridami #daminette #my work

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oosteven-universe · 5 years

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Lois Lane #1

Lois Lane #1 DC Comics 2019 Written by Greg Rucka Illustrated by Mike Perkins Coloured by Paul Mounts Lettered by Simon Bowland On the road and out of Metropolis—and carrying a secret that could disrupt Superman’s life—Lois Lane embarks on a harrowing journey to uncover a threat to her husband and a plot that reaches the highest levels of international power brokers and world leaders. Critically acclaimed and best-selling author Greg Rucka and master storyteller Mike Perkins team up for a tale of conspiracy, intrigue and murder that pushes even Lois to her limits. She's feisty, zesty, and full of old-world charm Sophia! She's mopey, dopey, and full of crap, Rose's sister. This is what I thought of when I finished reading this and thought back fondly to the days of Superman’s Girlfriend Lois Lane. It is kind of funny because Noel Neill’s character was much closer to the modern version than the one that appeared in Superman’s Girlfriend. Also that she is probably the most recognisable woman in comics, right alongside Wonder Woman, means that as the times change so much she. Hard hitting Pulitzer prize winning journalist who isn’t afraid of tackling any and all stories makes her a formidable opponent in her own right. That she’s married to Clark Kent, Superman, is just icing on the cake. Now I am still not clear who this one is. Is she what we would’ve considered Earth 2’s version or what. I mean DC screwed the pooch one too many times for me to even try to figure out who’s what from where any more. I’m not asking for an explanation either, so long as the kid doesn’t show up here I am perfectly fine seeing Lois go after everyone on her own. Well not technically on her own but surprisingly close enough. This how is a perfect example why I have distanced myself from DC under Didio’s watch because nothing makes sense any more and the more they try to “fix” it the worse they make it. So why am I here now with this book? Simple, Greg Rucka. The man is a genius when it comes to writing and Gotham Central, Checkmate, Queen & Country and his Batwoman were works that I will never get tired of reading. So for him to take on Lois and make her one of the world’s most formidable women hell yeah I am on board. The interior artwork here is utterly phenomenal to see. The attention to detail blows my mind and that the linework is so crisp, clean and strong as it creates this look, tone and feel to what we are seeing. The fact that backgrounds are utilised the way that they are brings me untold joy and even better are the moments we see like the rain on the window and her reflection in it. The use of her agent kept shrouded in darkness while they meet is brilliantly done. The nude moments are tasteful and looking at her and Clark oh momma. The utilisation of the page layouts and how we see the angles and perspective in the panels show a stellar eye for storytelling. The colour work too is marvellous as again the bedroom scene demonstrates all around. How light sources are utilised to create the shading and shadows and colour blocking alone isn’t the sole differential in how we see the colours is delightful. The story & plot development here with the pacing and character development show exactly why I hold Rucka in such high regard. Then add into this seeing that amalgam of Kelly Anne Conway and Sarah Huckabee was more than priceless. That Lois isn’t afraid of taking on the White House and the current whatever-in-chief is there fits right into how I envision her character behaving. By god this is the Lois Lane we’ve been waiting for, for a very long time and its no coincidence that it’s Rucka conveying the story.

#comic books #comics reviews #dc comics #Greg Rucka #mike perkins

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timeagainreviews · 4 years

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My Series 10 Rewatch: The Return of Doctor Mysterio

Ah, another Christmas episode. How many is that now? Two in a row? If you’ll recall from last time, I remarked that the only thing I liked about Christmas episodes was that it was more Doctor Who. While I will admit to a degree of hyperbole, it wasn’t far from the truth. Which is why "The Return of Doctor Mysterio," is such an interesting follow-up, as I have a "second" reason to like Christmas episodes. Only in a Christmas episode can Doctor Who get truly stupid. I’m not saying I hated it, I’m not saying I liked it, but I think I loved it.

"The Return of Doctor Mysterio," is very much a stupid episode. But in the same way, a child can believe in a jolly fat man delivering presents every year, Steven Moffat asks us to believe in a Doctor Who where Superman could exist. It doesn’t fit the tone of the show, and it’s not even particularly topical. The idea of superheroes in the media is so cliched, that it’s cliched to even point that out. It felt a little dated even at the time it was made. So how has it given me a newfound love for Christmas episodes? Because it plays its hand at the right moment. Doctor Mysterio could only ever work on Christmas.

We open on the Doctor swinging outside a young boy’s bedroom window on Christmas Eve. The Doctor has been up on the roof of the New York skyscraper this boy calls home. After climbing into the window the Doctor introduces himself to the boy whose name is Grant. He explains that he was up on the roof building a machine to fix space-time distortions created by his own meddling. Think back to stuff like the weeping angels turning a hotel into their own food pantry of Rory-O’s. It’s a classic Doctor Who machine made out of various bits, making very little logical sense. It doesn’t matter though because the Doctor is in possession of a McGuffin named the Hazandra, a gemstone also known as "the ghost of love and wishes." Basically, it’s Christmas magic a convenient polyhedron. With it, his machine should stabilise the distortions.

Young Grant and the Doctor’s interactions in this scene are a great example of Capaldi’s charm as the Doctor. I love the Doctor not knowing Clark Kent and Superman being the same person is common knowledge. It scans with his not knowing there was a film called "Alien." The Doctor doesn’t need to know everything all the time, Chibnall. I find everything about this scene completely believable in its context. There’s a brilliant exchange where the Doctor produces a glass of water from his coat for Grant’s cough. After being handed the Hazandra by a man going by "Doctor," he assumes the Hazandra is medicine for his cough and gulps it down. I find it a little hard to believe that a geek like Grant didn’t at least question if it was a D12 first. He seems like the kind of kid who has done some tabletop gaming. Having taken a heroic dose of Christmas magic, Grant starts tripping out like he can fly and shit, which he does, because wishes. Realising the only thing to do is wait for the gem to pass through his digestive tract, the Doctor bides his time. I like to think that somewhere for about a week, the Doctor was scanning the plumbing of that building with his sonic screwdriver. "Still nothing."

With Grant’s body refusing to give up the ghost, his superpowers grew more powerful. This, of course, brings us to present day where Grant is now mild-mannered manny and Super Saiyan "Goku," noted by the G on his chest. No, wait, wrong franchise, it's the Ghost, not Goku. Not since "The Mind Robber," has Doctor Who taken on the concept of superheroes quite so directly. But, unlike Karkus, the Ghost is not meant to be a man from a comic book. Though everything about him is directly from a comic book. The Ghost’s powers are a little boy’s wishes given form. I’ll admit that while wearing my Doctor Who cosplay, the coat does tend to blow in the wind like a superhero cape. While some will even agree that the Doctor is a sort of superhero, even the show recognises its own limitations in this department. Seeing a caped vigilante standing next to the Doctor is weird. It’s wisest to treat this as an anomaly.

Moffat is in no way shy about playing into some of the biggest comic tropes. When we meet Lucy Fletcher, a reporter for the Daily Chronicle, she’s an obvious homage to Lois Lane. So it’s easy to assume that the people she’s investigating, a corporation known as Harmony Shoal, are some sort of villain. It’s also a reminder of the influence of comic books on classic characters like Sarah Jane Smith or Donna Noble. Also in attendance is Nardole, seemingly reunited with his body. After some pointed questions about missing executives from Ms Fletcher, the press conference ends with Lucy unconvinced by their answers. She decides it’s best to stay behind and investigate. As do Nardole and the Doctor.

It’s a testament to how little I remembered within the year between these two Christmas specials, as I didn’t even remember that the Shoal of Winter Harmony were a Doctor Who baddie. Hell, I didn’t even remember it years later when I watched "The Husbands of River Song. If you’ll recall, I went on to complain that they were underdeveloped. Well, I guess I got my wish because here they are again. This time around we learn that the Shoal are a group of brains that look for viable hosts to live within. They open up the heads of humans and replace their brains. I’m beginning to see why I forgot these were the same villains. One is a bunch of brains in a jar, à la "The Keys of Marinus," while the other is a group of people able to open their seemingly hollow heads. Like, do the brains open up when they open their heads later? Why do they open at a diagonal layer when the brains clearly have a vertical hemisphere? Their physiology is a bit perplexing, even by Doctor Who standards.

While discovering the Shoal’s secret, Lucy meets the Doctor and Nardole, who are also spying. After witnessing one executive transplant an alien brain into the body of another executive, the three of them are captured and held at gunpoint. It's at this moment when we first see Grant as the Ghost, as he saves the trio using super-heroics. After whisking Lucy back to her apartment in a classic "superhero saves the girl," manner, we learn that Grant is actually Lucy's manny for her baby. This explains why he was watching out for her, and how he found her home so easily. The Doctor, having used the TARDIS to track the Hazandra, is already at Lucy's apartment waiting for Grant to chastise him for using his powers. Lucy believes the Doctor is there for her causing both her and Grant to lie to one another about how they may or may not know the Doctor.

Now, I would like a minute to talk about the costume. Basically, it's not very good. In fact, it's kind of bad. I don't mean to badmouth somebody's hard work, because it's not the craftsmanship I'm criticising. It's barely even the design. It's the reason for the design. You see, the Ghost has an awful mask. It covers about 75 percent of his face and is basically like no hero mask we've ever seen. The reason for this is that despite all of its whimsy and Christmas magic, the idea that a pair of glasses is all the secret identity a hero needs is too stupid even for Doctor Who. Hell, it's too stupid for Superman. Lois Lane is a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist, and she's thwarted by a pair of specs? Seeing them make up for it by covering Grant's face in an awkward plastic mask just highlights how poorly Doctor Who and capes mesh. Except in the case of Jon Pertwee.

Lucy and Grant have that classic Clark Kent, Lois Lane, Superman, love triangle going on. Or Jerrica, Diego, and Jem if you're not a comic book nerd. It's the whole "Does she love me, or does she love him?" trope. All that's left is for Grant to do one of those two dates at the same dance scenes and we'll be set. Oh, they do that later on in the episode? Oh. But that's getting ahead of ourselves. Let's talk about that interrogation scene.

In 2012, "Zero Dark Thirty," came under fire for its apparent glorification of torture during interrogation. Which seems a weird takeaway if you've actually seen the film. However, the point was made- torture is inhumane. Which is why I must warn those of you with a gentle constitution that the torture scene of Mr Huffle is brutal. Every time Lucy adds pressure to this poor man's head, he cries out in agony, and she knows it will work. The Doctor is unable to stand the idea that another need suffer that he might keep his secrets, so he spills the beans. Of course, I'm kidding, the scene is absolutely ridiculous, but it's also kind of cute. It's yet another of those moments only afforded by Christmas magic because anywhere else it would be stupid. I just want to know where Moffat hides the giant bollocks required not to edit that bit out.

Now, remember how I said in my review for "The Husbands of River Song," that the baddies never really had much development? As it turns out, they're not all that deep. The main goal of the Shoal (Judoon on the moon), is to fortify their headquarters to survive a massive blast. Their reasoning is that when their ship impacts with the planet, their building will remain standing among the rubble of New York, acting as a beacon to the world's leaders who will flock to them. This way, the Shoal can take over the bodies of leaders. It's a dumb comic book idea in a dumb comic book episode. If their building attracted anything other than droves of survivors, it would most likely attract the attention of investigators. "Oh hey, maybe we should investigate the people who battened down the hatches immediately before the blast." Nothing fishy there. A foolproof plan. Because comic books, and Christmas.

Please don't mistake my tone for derision. I genuinely think Moffat made the right decision in keeping the plot a bit campy. It absolutely fits with the theme of the episode. This doesn't mean that the premise doesn't wear thin. It does so with so much haste that the promotional photos began to feel hackneyed. I've said in the past that Doctor Who is very much like a comic book, but even then it's a completely different genre than superheroes. The idea of the Doctor and the Ghost teaming up seems more appropriate for the comic pages of Doctor Who Magazine. And even then it would feel silly. You would see it come up on lists titled "Top Ten Weirdest Moments in the Doctor Who Extended Universe." It's up there with "Combo Man" or "NFL Superpro," in that it's a pale imitation that does nothing to add to the genre. The fact that they made a Ghost spin-off comic book is mind-boggling.

The Ghost fits very uncomfortably into the Doctor Who universe. Hell, he fits uncomfortably into New York. I did the math, he was old enough to stop 9-11. Or at least save some people. It's one of those "This is why the Doctor doesn't travel to the holocaust," things. It's just easier to ignore a real world tragedy. But even within the Doctor Who version of New York, the episode raises a few unanswered questions. Ever since Amy and Rory "died," the fandom has questioned why the Doctor didn't simply travel back in time to save them. Moffat's response was that the events of "The Angels Take Manhattan," made New York too chaotic a place to land. So the fans said, "What about taking a taxi into New York after landing safely outside?" To which Moffat said "Ah, but the tombstone! It's a fixed point in time." Which is a good point. There's no way you could possibly fake a tombstone. Those things are counterfeit-proof.

The point I'm getting at is that New York is all sorts of messed up by the Doctor. As I stated earlier, it's the whole reason he was there in the first place. The problem I'm having is that if the Doctor brought the Hazandra to New York to repair the rift, and Grant swallowed it like medicine, what the hell repaired the rift? How is the Doctor able to visit Lucy's house? How is the Doctor able to travel to and from the Shoal's ship orbiting the earth? If the Doctor can pilot the TARDIS in and out of New York City, what exactly needed fixing? And if nothing needed fixing, why then are Amy and Rory dead? And it wouldn't be a big deal if Moffat hadn't literally made it a plot point in the first place! That's two episodes in a row now where Steven Moffat introduces a concept only to completely go against it later on. Maybe he knew he was on his way out and he started phoning it in because I know Moffat is a better writer than this.

Ok, so where are we in the story? It doesn't really matter. Basically the Ghost and Lucy have dinner on top of Lucy's building. But it's when talking to the Ghost that Lucy realises she loves Grant. At no point does she not realise she's an idiot unable to see through a very dumb disguise. The Doctor and Nardole have jumpstarted the Shoal's plans by crashing the ship themselves. This forces the Shoal to act ahead of schedule. Also, for some reason, the Shoal seems to think they would be able to take over the Ghost's body. I guess superhero skin is one of those things famously known for being fragile and easily broken. Surely there's no flaw in this plan whatsoever. Grant uses this as an opportunity to switch out of his cape in back into manny mode. Acting as the hero, he swoops in and saves the day. Not only does he thwart the Shoal, but he also one-handedly catches their ship before it can make impact, thus saving all of New York.

The Doctor alerts UNIT to the Shoal's activities and before they can make their break are apprehended. All except for a single Shoal who has taken over the brain of a random UNIT soldier. It's one of those comic book cliffhangers that will fall apart if you start to think about it. I'm going to say it's absolutely acceptable in these circumstances, but I am absolutely still going to pick it apart. Like didn't the Shoal say earlier that they require a suitable host? What constitutes a suitable host? Did they mean suitable as in "a person in power," or was it a blood type thing? Do some people's bodies reject their new brain? Furthermore, didn't the Shoal keep creepy surgeons in closets for this kind of operation? How then is one of them able to do complex surgery in the span of moments? As I said, it falls apart.

"It falls apart," is the theme to this episode. In fact, the entire plot hangs on the premise of stupid comic book cliches. Nothing about this episode works as an episode of Doctor Who. But, as I said, it does work as a Christmas episode. In that way, it makes me both love, and continue to hate Christmas episodes. In the same manner, I admire its frivolity, I also loathe its crudeness. I'm not exactly running out into the streets like Ebenezer Scrooge asking what day it is, but I'm not saying "Bah! Humbug," either. Let's just say, I'm glad the next episode in this watchthrough isn't a Christmas story. The only thing worse than watching two Christmas stories in a row is watching them while in lockdown in July and August. There is neither anything holly nor jolly about this season.

The important takeaway is that I actually found myself having more fun this time around. Perhaps it was the fact that I now knew what to expect. The idea of a Doctor Who superhero episode can't be as bad as it already was. I've found this to be a common theme in revisiting a lot of Doctor Who. Without your initial expectations in the way, fun can sometimes peak its head in and say hello. Which is why I said I loved this episode. It wasn't good, but it was fun. I even got to see this play out in real-time. My boyfriend who had either never seen the episode, or forgotten it completely, spent most of his time hung up on how stupid the premise was. While I was actually able to spend more time appreciating the performances. The superhero tropes seemed less tired, and more like a necessary function of the narrative. Sometimes there is virtue in knowing something is going to be shit.

Hey friends! Thanks for reading this far. I wanted to pop in and apologise for how long this took to post. Last week was my birthday so I took the time off. Also, for some reason I was really dragging my feet with this one. Go figure. Next time, we say hello to Bill! See you soon!

#doctor who #the return of doctor mysterio #steven moffat #twelfth doctor #peter capaldi #nardole #matt lucas #christmas #series 10 #the ghost #bbc #tardis #rewatch #watchthrough #harmony shoal #Time and Time Again

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