#quarantine mention

[raayllum]

Re these prior musings / promises but speculation regarding the secret scene possibly being Claudia murdering Sir Sparklepuff got me wondering, so... let's talk about Rayla, Claudia, and symbolic to non symbolic notions of suicide.

Tw because this will mention / does talk about cannibalism, suicidal ideation, and suicide in passing. If you're not comfortable reading about those things in more detail but you still want the gist of this meta, scroll down to the TLDR that will have a couple sentence summary of the idea.

With that out of the way, let's get into it.

For a while now, I've been interested in the metaphorical mechanics regarding Rayla murdering Viren in 3x09. As we all know (even if Aaravos 'pretends' otherwise in 4x04), Rayla did successfully kill the man, retroactively achieving her earlier mission of killing a king of Katolis because he was responsible for both the death of the Dragon King and because he'd killed Zym (which Viren was in the process of doing).

However, Rayla kills Viren in the most Rayla-y of ways, as she does so without her assassin blades, while acting as the Last Dragonguard, and in a way that means killing Viren is not just an act of protection or revenge, but also something that meant sacrificing (killing) herself.

And this felt notable to me, since unlike either of the brothers, Rayla hasn't killed anyone else. Ezran would've burned people alive with dragon fire if not for immunity spell, and Callum blasted plenty of people off the side of the mountain and presumably to the Storm Spire. But Viren was the sole blood on Rayla's hands, even if the narrative has Claudia (and we'll get to her in a minute) resurrect him. Her one act of murder being something that also, as stated, required her to sacrifice her whole person, and is also in line with her assassin training: "I am already dead."

When Rayla rebuttals Ezran's assertion that "[You spared him] because you knew he was a person, just like you," you can read Rayla's assertion of "That shouldn't have mattered, I had a job to do," solely as her talking about the guard's personhood... but you can also read it, I think, as her dehumanizing her own personhood. She is a weapon and he is the target and that's all that should've mattered.

We can tether this thread all the way up to season four with Rayla's refusal to murder Callum, but put a pin in that, cause now I want to talk about Claudia.

Much like we can read Rayla's attempted dehumanization as twofold, I also think we can read Sir Sparklepuff's mimicry of Claudia as something with multiple layers. The first and likely most obvious one of course is that Sir Sparklepuff mimicking Claudia in earlier episodes is to setup later that he is her (magical, technical?) half-brother and one of Viren's children. Kind of like how we had Ezran and Zym mimicking each other in mid-S2 to set up their mental/emotional bond later that season.

And this implied connection likewise loops back around in the finale when Viren simultaneously refuses to sacrifice Sir Sparklepuff for his own survival while also lamenting that he's led (sacrificed?) his own daughter down a dark path (and perhaps regret that he sacrificed his son once, too).

Arc 2 has also ramped up Claudia's willingness to destroy herself further for the "good of her family" (and her own desires that often steamroll over theirs) in having her take on more and more animalistic forms when doing dark magic, blurring the lines between her de-personalization of magical creatures and also herself.

This reflects dark magic's cannibalism motif quite well, as Claudia carries on metaphorically cannibalizing her own body throughout most of s4 and especially s5: refusing to rest from Terry, using her own blood in spells, etc.

This all reinforces that while dehumanization was something Rayla struggled with for both her target(s) and to a lesser degree herself, it's something that Claudia has only continually excelled at. And we know, thanks to S4 with Rayla walking away from the drake in the woods ("We can't save everyone") that she's gotten better at it as well.

But what does this all have to do with symbolic suicide? Well...

If the secret scene is what a good deal of us have been speculating / that Claudia is covered in Sir Sparklepuff's blood in the teaser trailer, then: if Sir Sparklepuff is a stand in for Viren's innocent, made to be an asset, processing learned behaviour child - if he is a stand in for Claudia - then through killing him, Claudia is symbolically killing herself.

Now, there's no doubt in my mind that Claudia isn't viewing things that way, but we also know just how much she's willing to ruin herself for the people around her first hand, and how persistent that characterization has been: "Are you okay?" "You're going to be better now. That's all that matters." While Claudia also has some selfish, twisted self-preservation in there as well (she cannot or will not cope with the fracturing of her family, even when she really probably should), the self-destructive tendency that's led to her S6 spiral is well established.

This attitude of "it doesn't matter what happens to me, so long as other people are okay/safe" is something we see for many characters, of course, but I think is best embodied in Rayla's continual, emphasized thread of sacrifice / her tendency towards subtle but consistent passive suicidal ideation regarding her own safety and her own wants/desires.

R: Don't worry about my hand. The egg is all that matters. / It doesn't matter what happens to me. / I have to go after [Viren]. / It's agonizing, but I know our mission comes first.

This is important regarding her and Callum in regards to the possession plot line. As long as Callum is Callum (not possessed, or she has reason to believe he's still in there), Rayla likely won't be able to bring herself to kill him. This is from an emotional / characterization standpoint, of course, but from a thematic standpoint, we can see where it stems from Callum and Rayla continually being each other's main connection to their sense of identity.

As long as Callum is Callum ("you're the destiny is a book you write yourself guy"), he's worth saving. As long as Callum is Callum, she can be Rayla ("Rayla's brave. She saves people" / "Rayla. My name is Rayla, and I'm going home"). As long as she's Rayla, he can be Callum. Because if Callum isn't Callum, then he's dead, and if he's dead, she can kill him. And if Rayla kills him, if Callum is dead, then she won't be Rayla anymore. Because to literally kill Callum would be to simultaneously symbolically/emotionally kill herself.

Now of course, some of this is already differing wildly.

If Claudia is going to kill Sir Sparklepuff, it makes the most sense for it to have already come to pass in 6x01, whereas Callum and Rayla's plot line would only come later on in the season. Claudia will presumably succeed at her symbolic suicide, but that doesn't mean she's not still worth saving / unable to be saved in the future (perhaps by her family). Rayla will probably fail at her symbolic suicide and succeed at sparing herself through sparing/saving Callum.

However, it's an interesting symbolic thread and potential foil contrast, and I thought it was worth pointing out. I hope you think so too!

TLDR below:

Due to Claudia's parallels to Sir Sparklepuff, if she kills him it holds a layer of her symbolically killing herself. In contrast, Rayla's symbolic suicide would be in killing Callum, as that would destroy her own sense of identity/life. For Claudia, this means likely being saved later by her family, and for Rayla, this means likely sparing Callum and herself simultaneously, thereby saving and sparing both of them.

[a-bit-of-cest]

tfw you spend a full 24 hours thinking your captain is dying only to find out you're getting another crew mate

[steelthroat]

*me putting my Transformers figures on a shelf after tidying up* "Optimus and Megatron go together obviously"

My dad jokingly: "Heh, are they friends?"

Me: "In the Ancient-Greek sense of the word yes"

[essektheylyss]

I have seen the newest fhjy Aelwyn Abernant gifset multiple times in the last week and I had planned to watch it eventually but like...... is that really what's gonna get me into this series. Is that really what it takes. What the fuck level of targeted advertising is THIS.

[askquarantinedredheart]

Content Warning: Brief mention of a method of suicide in context of healthcare.

Volume 1: Isolation

First - Previous - Next - Last

I'm aware of how dark the last frame is so please, if you're ever in that frame of mind, please reach out to someone you trust. If you're in the US, the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is 988 and they also have a website with great resources. You're not alone.

Asks from two anons and @reversal-mushroom

[ebp-brain]

benoit blanc/philip: homecoming

spoilers for The Glass Onion ahead!

--

“So,” says Philip.

“So,” says Benoit Blanc.

“You solved a murder on a billionaire’s private island, then encouraged your new friend to blow up virtually the entire island, causing the destruction of one of the greatest works of art in the history of humanity and the downfall of said billionaire’s massive tech company. Not to mention the billionaire himself.”

Blanc nods, looking around at the open living room-slash-kitchen area of his and Philip’s flat, suitcases at his feet and the stale smell of airplane still clinging to his clothes.

“And you,” he says, “made about fifty loaves of sourdough bread in my absence.”

“Fifty-six,” says Philip. “I ate some.”

Blanc nods slowly, looking at his husband. His husband looks back.

“My god, I love you,” Blanc says.

“I love you too. I wish I could have seen the explosion.”

“It was quite something.” Blanc steps closer and takes Philip’s face in his hands. He kisses him hard on the mouth. Philip gives a startled inhale and then kisses back, grasping at Blanc’s upper arms, pulling him in.

“There you are,” he gasps out, looking into Blanc’s eyes. “There you are.”

Blanc’s face falls a bit. “I do apologize for my…rather insufferable behavior these last few months. And for monopolizing our bathtub. I know I cannot have been much of a joy to cohabitate with.”

“Oh, Blanc,” says Philip, “mostly it was just hard to watch you suffer. I miss your…” He gestures at Blanc’s sparkling eyes, his upright posture, his bright face alive with intelligence. “This. You.”

Blanc smiles a little and kisses Philip, more softly this time. “Have you perfected the recipe yet?”

Philip beams. “Try for yourself.”

Blanc looks around at the dozens of loaves stacked on their cabinets, tables, counters, and even the occasional bookshelf. “I certainly shall,” he replies. “I certainly shall.”

[haveyouseenthishorrormovie]

SUMMARY: A television reporter and her cameraman are trapped inside a building quarantined by the CDC after the outbreak of a mysterious virus which turns humans into bloodthirsty killers.

[jellyfishvibes]

Getting hella frustrated about zelda wikis and how limited each are but not insane enough to join the wiki team to add all the shit their missing

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

Kelly talks with Kara about Lena, and how grow up with an alcoholic father, a narcissistic mother and a psychopath brother might have affected her

It’s not exactly uncommon for Kelly to find Kara deep in thought these days. Ever since Lena has withdrawn following the reveal of Kara’s secret as Supergirl, the hero has grown more pensive– far from her usual bubbly self. Kelly has largely let her process her change in circumstance alone– she’s loathe to cross the line between friend and therapist– but when she sees Kara’s features darker than ever and eyes brimming with tears, Kelly know it’s time to step in.

“Hey,” she greets softly. Carefully, she approaches and takes the seat next to Kara. “You okay?”

Kara sniffles, but tries to cover it with a derisive scoff. “Peachy.”

“You tried reaching out to Lena again?” Kelly knows the answer, but waits for Kara to confirm, which she does with a heavy nod.

“That obvious, huh.”

“It’s natural to feel badly in your situation. It’s hard to make amends when a person won’t speak with you.”

“She wouldn’t even look at me.”

Kelly takes a moment to gather her thoughts.

“I’m going to tell you something James shared with me, back when he and Lena were dating. He pieced together some discoveries that he didn’t know what to do with, so he came to me.”

Kara stares at her in apprehension. “Okay.”

“From certain things Lena shared with him, James came to the conclusion that Lena’s dad may have been an alcoholic. A mean one. That, coupled with Lex, and well– you’ve met her mother.”

Kara nods wordlessly, her eyes wide.

“I’m telling you this not so you can pity Lena, or feel differently at all about her, but because in my experience many abusive situations tend to follow a similar pattern of harm and reconciliation. It’s a cycle– the abuser does harm, and then immediately tries to smooth things over. It could be gifts, excuses, affirmations of love, anything. Then it starts all over again.”

It’s clear that Kara is absorbing every word, processing what Kelly’s telling her with careful thought. “What does that mean for Lena?” she finally asks.

Kelly sighs. “Well, Lena’s smart. She knows the cycle, and it seems she’s found a way to nip it in the bud– by not giving anyone the chance to apologize in the first place.”

With a quaking breath, Kara looks at Kelly with helplessness in her eyes. “Then what do I do?”

Kelly places a comforting hand overtop Kara’s. “As your friend and hers, all I can say is to give her time to heal. By respecting her boundaries, you can show her that what you’re feeling isn’t just reactive guilt. That you’re serious about making things right, for both your sakes– not just your own.”

Kara’s chin wobbles. “But what if time isn’t enough?”

“Then that’s Lena’s choice to make.” Kelly offers a thin smile of sympathy. She knows the thought of losing Lena scares Kara to death, and that it would devastate her if it ever came to pass, but it wouldn’t do anyone any good to pretend it wasn’t a possibility. “And if she does make that choice, all you can do is continue to respect her boundaries.”

The breath squeezes out of Kara’s chest, but she nods, dislodging even more tears. “Okay.”

“Either way,” Kelly offers, “you’re going to survive this. You both will. It’ll be different, but you’ll through, be it together or apart.”

When she wraps an arm around Kara’s shoulders, Kara leans against her, accepting the support being offered. Exhausted, Kara sighs.

“Thank you, for looking out for her.”

“Of course.” She knows that of the two of them, Lena is the one more likely to feel alone, both by preference and circumstance. Kara has Alex, and the superfriends (whom she pre-emptively claimed as her own when she told them her secret and not Lena), while Lena had, well– no one. Or so she likely believes.

“I’m going to invite her to lunch tomorrow,” Kelly decides right then and there, vowing to not take no for an answer. “I’ll keep Lena’s confidence if she chooses to speak with me, because I think she could use an impartial friend right now, but… I’ll let you know how it goes.”

Kara nods her gratitude. After a few minutes of sitting with the silence, Kara finally gives voice to what they’ve all been thinking.

“This sucks.”

Kelly squeezes Kara’s hand. “I know.”

//prompts are closed

[gabriestat]

OK SO. since i feel like we have the same taste in movies i wanted to ask u which are your fave movies !! (and also how was passenger bc i saw an edit you reblogged yesterday and thought mmmm maybe this is worth watching...)

passanger was so much better than i expected!! i thought people on here liked it based on vibes™ (and that it's kinda gay. quite so, if we are being honest) but actually the characters are quite nuanced & i really enjoyed how the conflict progressed. i would 100% recommend it to you, honestly it really deserves the thriller label because i was very tense during some scenes lol. but ultimately i laughed with the movie it's ridiculous (good ridiculous, not bad ridiculous) during some parts

anyhow moving onto your other question: i don't watch that many movies (for whatever reason i find easier to watch shows now) but if i were to say my favorites, they would probably be stoker, there will be blood, memories of a murder, natural born killers, the nice guys, saw, phantom of the opera (this one is mostly out of nostalgia), crimson peak and company of the wolves.

[bryceslahela]

[chaos-in-one]

Today on awful things that happened/was said to me at the group therapy place I went to:

- Group leader going on an entire rant to me about how I need to stop being so uncomfortable with things associated with my agab (the only thing I had been uncomfortable with was going into the fucking underwear isle when we went to a store) because "the other trans person I had in my group before wasn't like this"

- Somehow ending up with a guy who had s/aed me there, and with him immediately recognizing me despite it having been 2 years. When I told the adults about this they basically went "Oh well we can't keep him from being here at the same time as you so we'll just try to make sure he's not alone with you" and proceeded to do nothing to actually keep him away from me. I had to sit near him and have him try to talk to me multiple times

- When I was on the verge of panicking and went to the next room over to calm down, the group leader came in and told me I couldn't stay out there. I asked if I could just stay here or in another empty room for 5 minutes to calm myself down. They said no, I needed to be in the room with everyone else. So I asked if I could call my mom (to see if I could be picked up), and was also told no. I proceeded to start panicking and sit down, to which they decided instead of giving me a moment to calm down, to forcibly pick me up and carry me into the room full of people

And probably many more things I can't remember because this was like 4 years ago!

[huntressofartemis001]

i just think i'd do such a good doctor who companion bc the doctor would be like "when did i first have this idea" and i'd immediately be like "the bootstrap paradox. the one with the beethoven's symphonies. it can exist either with information or with objects, both of which have no known origin and are just fixed things in time" and he'd be like wtf you werent supposed to know that and id have to say something like "i had a time travel phase during covid lockdown"

[bonefall]

+1 for reading this blog like a newspaper

(also, quid is slang for pound/£. 4 quid = £4 Think it's a southern/maybe specifically cockney thing?? Suddenly doubting that. Definitely more associated with working-lower middle class people)

I heard Quid more than Pound where I visited, and that was definitely not southern England so I don't think it's a southern thing

If there was any one thing I learned it's that wow Northerners don't like London

[dogwittaablog]

Nolan’s always present never shaved neck beard says all we need to know ab his hygiene (he’s the grimiest)

*it’s his greasy ass hair for me*

[dhampiravidi]

another "Save Shadow & Bone" idea!

ok but WHAT IF the beloved cast of S&B took the script for the show's S3 (since we know it's done & the showrunner loves it) & just did the 1st few episodes on YouTube, virtually?

it'd be FUNNY, obviously--while in quarantine, a lot of actors did some small, silly shows online. moreover, fans already LOVE the cast & we want more content.

picture Jessie w/dark eyeshadow the more she makes morally corrupt decisions. Amita w/kitchen knives when necessary. Ben doing SFX (apparently he actually did them for the nichevo'ya & well...who knows when Aleksander would be played by him again, except maybe in flashbacks). all the Grisha people have tons of practice doing their gestures for the Small Science, so *cue physical improv*

anyway, I think it'd be a great way to show how much people want to watch more Shadow & Bone (aside from the petitions, which are awesome but only take a second to sign)! all the more reason for another network to pick things up again w/the same cast!