#r: dirkjake

[iongenesis]

Miscellaneous doodles (the bottom doodle is supposed 2 be like a office party interaction)

[nearapologist]

homestuck memes for today (i need psychiatric help)

[shartfinz]

i don't project onto art 👹

[yaoirotic]

stupid whiteboard doodles of the alpha kids

[theforgetter]

anyway the con last weekend was fun! i got merch of TWO!!!!!(!!!) special interests AND my favorite movey AND my favorite tv show AND my favorite manga. and a keychain of a yuri ship. life is so fucking good

[anachronistic-falsehood]

vash the stampede trigun 🤝 c!ponk dsmp

blond guy whose left arm was cut off by someone they love, have questionable morals, both of them hate themselves, have so much trauma and issues, and have copious amounts of gender

[synthetic-sonata]

also i almost never block specific ships bc i dont give a fuck if it isnt explicitly weird but ones been getting on my nerves lately for almost no reason

[choctalksalot]

i attempt to write a meta-related post instead of screaming incessantly in people's tags for once. my whole browser crashes. i lose all my tabs. the post itself goes missing from my drafts. i am no longer going to try to write meta posts

[yurakochka]

they lied to me ab dirkjake i was expecting cannibalism and toxicity scary acid guns shooting death destroy and the worst aka the best but all i got r teenage relationship problems

[tuuuuuuuua]

oops workin o na dirkjake thing rn0_0;; only have these to offer.D% the right r sum of my frineeds ocs i uh forgott their names💀 ik dat tgey r sis n bro i think.. n then scene-ish nepeta idk. oh and i have a karkat from an unfinished thingy im probs not gna finsihe.

i luvv him🙂 hes so me i a mhim we r one! and one more thign im plannin on doing the draw ur fav troll draw ur fav kid draw ur fav bluh bluh bluhhhhhh. so ya look forward to that igm??

[jizzweiner]

what are your dirkjake gender heaadcanones

my fanfic acc is @jermer10, i mostly write for tf2 but i take reqs for a number of diff fandoms including homestuck disclaimer: i have to stress that some of these practices are extremely dangerous irl, please do your research before binding and taking hrt

dirk: - ftm transgender, homosexual - doesn't have top or bottom surgery because he lives in the middle of a fucking ocean - he binds using bandages and duct tape - created his own testosterone through extremely dangerous trial and error (doesn't give a shit as long as he can grow sideburns) - he mechanically created his packer (yes, it is completely functional as the real thing. no, he would not recommend trying to penetrate with it) - he primarily wears masculine clothing but likes headbands and hair clips - will also wear makeup occasionally - extremely secretive abt his gender identity, the only people who know are his bro and roxy - jake and jane don't find out until they meet him in person and see his bewbs and then it clicks why he never joined vc or would use funny voice changers when he did, why he never really sent selfies and when he did they would be head n shoulders only

jake: - amab nonbinary, bisexual - they use he/they pronouns and have no intention of any surgeries (social dysphoria + gender dysphoria but not much dysphoria abt his body) - they mostly wear feminine clothing because its comfortable - had the most trouble with his gender identity, and didn't even know dirk was trans until he met him in person for the first time - and that's when it clicks that they might alsoooo fall under the trans umbrella - he confides in jane about this before making a coming out speech to dirk and roxy - the general consensus is literally 'yeah i mean it was kinda obvious' - (all of the alpha kids r trans to me so like yeah ofc they dont care) - doesn't really like labels and prefers to remained undefined, he's the kind of person who hates feeling trapped or held back - absolutely HATES being perceived, they hate when others try to project a certain image onto them that they don't agree with but also hates it when they give him labels that he does agree with

[knick-knack-paddy-whack]

Dirkjake cannibalism this and that WHERE R MY DIRKJANE CANNIBALISMERS!! JANE BAKES HIM INTO A PIE

[psiimaid]

highkey i think there r some homestucks that need 2 get into helmsmen but instead r looking 4 fulfillment in like. dirkjake

[prismatoxic]

YOU UNDERSTAND. billford is like dirkjake to me. it definitely canonically happened but they were so bad for each other and blew up tragically and i like seeing them as divorced far more than i liked seeing the yearning and pining and stuff. you GET IT. have a wonderful day

also mood i still like billdip lol

we r shaking hands anon 🤝

actual romantic billford seems great and i have absolutely nothing against it but personally i'm gonna keep writing bill hooking up with dipper and infuriating ford in the process. sorry. i didn't write 100k words of pretty much exactly that just to stop now

[theragnarokd]

kidfic snippet that i will probably not put in the actual fic (dirkjake, R, some teenage sexuality mentions):

Dirk puts it down and sighs. “Sorry, dude. I’m kind of useless unless you want to get your cock sucked or fight me.”

He’s expecting Jake to either spout platitudes or stammer, not to say, “Fight?” with a startled, hopeful look.

Well, shit. Dirk is no kind of teacher, but he knows how to throw a punch and how to take one, and he does his best to impart this knowledge. 

“No, don’t hold your hand like that, you’ll break your thumb,” Dirk says. He folds Jake’s hand in the correct position, then stands in front of Jake and flexes his biceps. “Go on, give me your best shot.”

“I can’t hit you!” Jake says, flustered.

Dirk snorts. “Trust me, I can take it.” He even waggles his eyebrows a bit.

Except that seems to take all the energy out of Jake, deflating him like a pricked balloon. “I know,” he says, low. “I’d rather not add to that tally.”

It takes Dirk a moment to understand what the fuck he means. “Dude, this isn’t the same. Like, at all.”

“It would still be hitting you!” Jake returns, heated. “Excuse me for not wanting to rough up my friends!”

Dirk sighs, exasperated. “You wanted to fight. What did you expect to happen?”

“I don’t know!” Jake throws his hands up. “Just, fisticuffs I guess? Not punching people!”

“What,” Dirk asks slowly, “do you think fisticuffs <i>are</i>? They have <i>fist</i> right in the name, man, I don’t know what to tell you.”

Jake flushes viciously and mumbles something.

“Sorry, what was that?”

“Grappling,” Jake blurts, flush deepening. “I wasn’t thinking at the time, alright? But at least that wouldn’t entail bruises or anything broken.”

Dirk decides to leave aside exactly how much damage one can do with grappling, and gets Jake in a headlock. Not too tight, but tight enough that Jake can’t just squirm out. 

Weird, to do this with someone Dirk’s own age. Jake is shorter than him, but his shoulders are broader. The smell of Jake’s soap and shampoo are familiar, the same ones Dirk has been using, but under it there’s something else.

It has been a <i>really</i> long time since Dirk last sucked cock, and honestly he kinda misses it. 

That’s not what Jake wants from him, though. “Try to get out,” Dirk says.

Jake squirms valiantly, muscles moving under golden skin. Dirk is grateful as fuck he doesn’t get visible erections. Finally, Jake says, “You seem– ugh, to have the better of me.” He taps Dirk’s thigh twice. “I yield, good sir.”

Jake curls around himself like a pill bug as soon as Dirk pulls away. Frowning, Dirk asks, “Did I hurt you?”

“None whatsoever.” Jake’s voice is practically squeaky. “I’ll be right as rain in another moment!”

Dirk’s eyes sweep over him methodically, just in case Jake is trying to protect some kind of macho pride bullshit, and stop at the realization that Jake’s crossing his legs in an extremely awkward way. Either he really needs to pee, or… “Are you into me?” Dirk asks, incredulous.

“How is this a surprise in any way, shape, or form?” Jake demands. 

“I did try to suck your dick.” Dirk has to point this out. “You said no.”

[vampzzz64]

2 me dirkjake is like watching a car crash. you wanna look away so bad but you can’t. i want them to work out so bad but i know they won’t. they’re just not right for eachother. they r never going to be the couple either of them wishes they were. it will only end in disaster. they will always think “what if?”, there will always be some kind of longing for something that never was and never will be.