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#rafe cameron imagines
poge-life · 2 days
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The chokehold that first picture of Drew has on me is crazy honestly
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andy-15-07 · 2 days
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Midnight Revelations
masterlist ! pairing Drew Starkey x reader
summary: Drew and Y/n are sleeping together for the first time
Outer Banks Masterlist
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In the dimly lit bedroom, shadows danced across the walls as the moon peeked through the curtains. Drew lay beside you, his breaths steady and deep. The air was thick with anticipation, the electricity between you palpable. It was a moment you had both been yearning for, a culmination of unspoken desires and lingering glances.
You shifted closer, the warmth of his body drawing you in like a magnet. His arm draped over your waist, pulling you snug against his chest. His heartbeat echoed in your ears, matching the rhythm of your own racing pulse.
"Are you sure about this?" Drew's voice was a whisper, laced with uncertainty.
You lifted your gaze to meet his, your fingers tracing patterns on his chest. "I've never been more sure of anything in my life."
A flicker of emotion crossed Drew's face before he leaned in, capturing your lips in a tender kiss. It was soft and tentative at first, a gentle exploration of newfound territory. But as the seconds stretched into minutes, the kiss deepened, igniting a fire that burned between you.
Clothes became a hindrance, discarded in a haphazard pile on the floor as skin met skin. There were no words, only the symphony of sighs and whispers that filled the room. Every touch, every caress was a revelation, each sensation more intoxicating than the last.
Drew's hands roamed freely, mapping the curves of your body as if committing them to memory. His touch was both reverent and possessive, a silent declaration of his desire for you. And as you surrendered to him completely, you felt a sense of liberation wash over you, freeing you from the constraints of doubt and fear.
In the darkness, you found solace in each other, two souls intertwined in a dance as old as time itself. And as the night stretched on, time seemed to stand still, suspended in a moment of pure, unadulterated bliss.
"I love you," Drew whispered against your skin, his words a promise etched into the very fabric of your being.
Tears prickled at the corners of your eyes, overwhelmed by the depth of emotion that surged within you. "I love you too," you replied, your voice barely above a whisper.
In that moment, as the world outside faded into insignificance, you knew that you had found something truly special. It wasn't just about physical intimacy, but a connection that transcended the boundaries of the physical realm. It was a bond forged in the fires of passion and tempered by the trials of life.
As the first light of dawn filtered through the curtains, you lay tangled together in a cocoon of warmth and love. And as you drifted off to sleep, you knew that this was only the beginning of a journey that would last a lifetime.
In the quiet stillness of the morning, you found peace in each other's arms, knowing that no matter what the future held, you would face it together, hand in hand, heart to heart.
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maybankslover · 2 days
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dropped your hand while dancing IV- rafe cameron
rafe cameron x kook!reader
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warnings: angst, angst, more angst, bit of fluff, milk pump, touching not in a sexual way.
summary: she decides to put her daughter's future above her feelings, will she be able to do it?. he wants to win her back, however long it takes.
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rafe was surprised when y/n asked him to stay with her until her parents came back which would be in another 15 days, he went to tanyhill to get some stuff and explain to his parents the situation. ward and anne were amazed by the news but happy wishing it would bring the former couple closer together and that rafe could be able redimish mistake.
"y/n/n where are you?" rafe entered the house he knew like the palm of his hand, growing up there with her, it held a lot of his happiest moments.
"hey you are here." she appeared from her dad's office.
"yeah just got here." a giggle from their daughter in her arms made rafe smile. "hi sweet thing." he extended his arms to hold her and y/n passed her to him.
"she's been in a good mood all day long thank you lord."
"my pretty girl you didn't give mommy a hard time today. such a good girl baby." he kissed her cheek and the baby hold his face with her little hands. he got closer to y/n and leaned down to kiss her cheek wishing he wasn't crossing any boundaries . "you look better today, got some good rest last night."
"yeah I hadn't slept like that in a good while, she still wakes up at least two times at night hungry, my whole body is tired and i haven't been able to pump any more milk but what she eats directly from me in at least 4 days so i haven't been feeling the best either." she sighed, the way she talked to him as if nothing had happened between them made him feel content. "she's asleep again, you have some kind of superpower." y/n laughed in a quiet tone.
"yeah something like that." he laughed with her. "let me put her in her crib I'll be right back."
when rafe came back he took some courage to offer his help.
"you know, if you need help with the pumping I could help you." y/n turned around from her place in the kitchen to look at him.
"it's not- not." she got nervous at his offering, at him seeing her naked again with the context and her postpartum body even if she was almost at her same weight as before, her tits were huge. and she wasn't sure it would be good for her to get herself in that position but her body was hurting a lot with all the milk she couldn't get out. "are you sure?"
"it's nothing I haven't seen before you know." he tilted his head to the side giving her a smile.
"alright, let's go upstairs. I got everything in my room." he quietly followed her on the path to her room.
he tried to not look while she took her shirt off but temptation overtook him, a few stretch marks from the pregnancy in her abdomen reminding him he hadn't seen her bump getting bigger as he should've, reminded him of all he lost by not getting his head in order, by not seeking help. once she had taken off her cotton bra off, he went closer to her daring to touch the skin in her stomach.
"what are you doing?" she asked with a confused look in her face but didn't move away from him.
"seeing what reminds me of how hard I fucked everything up with you." he looked up to her eyes. "of how I missed your bump growing, they are pretty." his hands traced the three lines she still had in her stomach.
"rafe." she touched his face and he leaned into her touch. she told herself she didn't want to be empathetic with him, to have him this close, that she wanted to push him away from her but it was all a lie. she loved him and it made her happy to know he thinks he made a mistake and hearing him say it, hearing him say that he still loves her. even when she couldn't make herself trust him like before yet.
"it's alright, let's get that milk out before it continues to hurt you." he smiled at her.
it all felt so intimate, it wasn't romantic or sexy to say the least but he was touching her once again, how much he had missed her skin, how much she had missed his touch. when they finished and y/n had gotten her shirt back on, they laid in her bed in silence for a while.
"thank you for helping me, I couldn't do it on my own for some reason this week."
"I'm here to help you, in everything you'll let me. I'm here for you."
"I know, I know." she turned her head to look at him, just to find him looking right back at her.
"can I ask you a question?" he asked.
"I don't know, what do you want to know?"
"do you hate me?"
she closed her eyes and took a deep breath in. "I wish I did. it would be easier for me if I hated you, you know." when she opens her eyes, he's still looking at her. "I tried to hate you, but the only love I know is yours so it's been a little complicated to let it go."
he didn't say anything and she asked something she didn't know if she was prepared to hear the answer.
"was it someone else? like are you in love with someone else? was that it?" her eyes automatically filled with tears.
"no no no." he sat in the bed quickly. "no y/n/n I'd never cheat on you." he was hurt that the idea was even in her mind, he understood why tho. "I've never been with anyone else than you and you know that."
"I don't know rafe, you say you didn't love me anymore what else do you want me to think." she rubbed her eyes with the palm of her hands. "we were meant to get married and for almost four months you wouldn't even kiss me more than twice in the whole day, the only thing that i could think of was that you were cheating on me."
"god i know, i know what it seemed but i promise you it wasn't like that. i don't know what happened, i was just numb for months didn't know what I was feeling and i didn't know how to express that. and when i realised that I still loved you it was too late, I had no way to contact you. the house is the same way you left it, I can't set foot inside."
y/n looked at him for a moment before standing up. "I need to take some aire. don't follow me." she left before he could say anything else.
"god." he rubbed his face with his hands, staring at the ceiling wondering if he fucked it even more this time.
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please reblog my work!
taglist: taglist: @whosyourmommy69 @chenslucy @gillybear17 @imliterallyamirrorball @nichmeddar @gillybooboo @julczimozart @bellbottombaby @silkylovey @dropperyourhnd @jaydaaasworld @congratsloserr @carrerascameron @m1santhropicc
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luxbub · 1 day
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rafe would never admit it but those short videos you keep sending him with the slides and photos, with the caption “us”over them—hello kitty and batman. “every batman boy needs his batman girl” secretly has him folding his insides ready to lay at your feet. and the little shit won’t even admit it. “Rafey, look at us.” hello hello kitty and batman again, this time at least he can see your grin from beside the phone, looking up at him and shit when he just grunts in response, but you can���t tell me there no butterflies kicking the shit out of his stomach in the moment. shit maybe rafe even giggles when he sees them. kicking his feet and squealing like a little girl with a crush, on the inside tho, batman never cracks up after all. he is so not a little girl with a cursh.
never.
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gh0stsp1d3r · 10 hours
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Maybanks sister
Series masterlist
Chapter 6- you don’t need him
Summary: jj is struggling with the guilt he faces, Rafe and you help each other get through everything as always, and when Jj comes to apologize at tannyhill, how does Rafe feel?
Warnings: small short description of psychical abuse, slightly toxic!rafe, maybe ooc!jj?
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“Dad! Dad-“ you shouted, desperately trying to get him off of your brother. Your shout was gut wrenching, your voice cracking and your eyes full of tears.
You finally managed to get him off, and you saw Jj staring at you, his face bloodied. His eyes struggling to stay open.
“Oh my God… Look what you fucking did! Look!” You cried, quickly getting down onto your knees next to JJ, ignoring your father behind you telling you he’s not worth it.
“It’s okay, JJ. It’s okay. You’re fine.” You mumbled, mostly to yourself, wiping away the blood on his cheek and the drool that fell when his mouth hung open.
Your tears fell onto JJ, the memory forever engraved into yours and his brain. He was only 15 at that point, it was his birthday. You were 17.
You’d always protected him, always. He felt a strong sense of regret, having to fight the urge to turn back and come back to you, telling you he’s sorry. He was pulled out of the memory when someone came up behind him, a hand on his shoulder.
“You okay, man?” John B asked him, his eyebrows furrowed.
“Yeah. Yeah. I’m fine.”
︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵
Rafe took you to Tannyhill, the ride was quiet the whole way.
And when he got there, Ward was standing outside, police cars and boats around.
You furrowed your eyebrows and looked back at Rafe. He held out an arm, telling you to stay in the car for a moment.
“I just saw Sarah.” Ward told him.
︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿
The next days, during the sentencing for John B, you and Rafe stayed in. He had become anxious, and you were the one to calm him down every time.
He had gotten to the point of multiple panic attacks, asking questions like what if they found out or what if they caught him.
“They won’t. They won’t, Rafe.” You whispered quietly, your hands on his face, and your eyes searching his. He looked down, shaking his head to himself.
When you saw the news that John B was captured and in prison, it had calmed Rafe down a bit. But a part of you felt bad.
That was your brothers friend, your brothers friend who you practically watched grow up with him, your brothers friend who had a crush on you in his awkward acne and braces phase.
You knew that JJ was planning a way to get him out.
︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿
“-They’re gonna eject you to the hospital. You remember cousin Ricky?”
“Cousin Ricky, the weed dealer?”
“He’s an EMT.”
“He sold us our first dime bag.”
“So? You can do both. Gig economy, bro.”
“Jesus.” John B sighed.
“Okay, but step 3 is extraction-“ Jj continued his plan.
“Times up.” Plumb spoke, interrupting the two.
“Yes, ma’am. You gotta trust me on this one.” Jj said, staring at John B. “Nothing to lose now. Eleven PM.” He stood up, and walked out.
He heard talking, when he suddenly saw a familiar face. He turned back, doing a double take, he stared out at the window, stepping closer.
He watched his father play basketball, and began banging on the door.
“Dad! Dad!”
“Let’s go.” Plumb said, grabbing him.
“Dad!”
“Let’s go.” She repeated, peeling him away from the window.
He turned back, his jaw clenched as he walked.
“I see what you did there, Plumb.”
︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿
Rafe was speaking to his dad in the living room while you sat on the bed, texting back with your cousin.
You decided to tell him that Luke was in prison. He wasn’t very surprised. And somehow the topic went back to Jj.
“He’s an asshole, you know how he is.”
“I feel bad, tho.” You typed.
“Don’t feel bad, He’ll come back, I mean what’d you do for him to get pissed at you?”
“Pretty bad shit.”
“He’s always off doing pretty bad shit anyways. He’ll come back to you.”
“Hope so. Thanks Ricky.” You typed,
“Anytime.”
You shut off your phone, staring at the ceiling for a moment before you heard something hit the window. A rock.
You furrowed your eyebrows, turning your body, then standing up and looking out to see a small figure in the yard. Was that…
“Jj?” You mumbled to yourself, opening up the window. He waved.
“Jesus Christ.” You groaned, shutting the window and quickly gathering your stuff, and heading downstairs.
You opened and shut the door quietly, stepping outside and seeing JJ.
“What the fuck do you want, JJ?” You asked him, walking towards him. He stood, staring at you and back at the house behind you.
His hands were shoved in his pockets.
“You know dads in jail?”
“Yeah… so what?” You told him.
“And you didn’t think to tell me…?”
“I wanted to, J, but I couldn’t have-“
“Why? Why couldn’t you have, y/n?” His voice raising, you put your hand over his mouth.
“If any one of them hear you they’re gonna be fucking pissed. C’mon.” You mumbled, walking away from the house, but he stood there.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked again.
“Because, I thought you would blame me. I just found out not that long ago, and I didn’t know how to tell you.” You spoke, your back to him. You turned around now.
“I wouldn’t have blamed you.”
“Is that why you came? To just say that?”
“No. I’m sorry. I- I said some shit back at the dock… shit I didn’t mean…” he paused. “And I’m sorry.”
Your eyes widened at his words. It was rare for him to apologize like this. It was silent for a little.
“You have to get it, that I just… why him?” He asked, referring to Rafe.
“Because he’s the one who was there for me when no one else was. He was there for me when you weren’t.”
He stayed quiet now.
“But I get why you weren’t. Looking back at it, I haven’t treated you the best either. You’re my younger brother. And I should have protected you more-“
“Don’t.” He spoke up, quietly. “You did-“
“Well, what do we have here? Maybank, don’t you know you’re trespassing?” Rafes voice interrupted, stepping down to the both of you.
You both turned around at the voice.
“I was just on my way, cupcake.” He clicked his teeth, and turned around.
Rafe was behind him quickly, a hand on his shoulder, tightly gripping it.
“Don’t come near here again.” He whispered into his ear. “I will fucking shoot you on sight.”
“Mmm.. I’ll look forward to it. I would love to stay and join your tea party… but I have some other shit to get to.”
“You have some nerve showing up here, JJ.” He shouted when he began to walk away, Jj flipping him off from behind his back.
“Rafe, he was just-“ you began.
“Do I need to remind you that he was the one who made you cry like a fuckin’ baby the other day?” He turned to you now.
You were taken aback at his words. Stepping back as he walked towards you.
“I told you, you don’t need him. Or anyone else.”
“He’s my brother, Rafe…”
“And when has he ever done anything good for you?”
You stayed silent. He walked closer, a small sigh escaping his mouth. You slightly flinched when his hands went up. They made their way to your face, cupping it.
“I’m just trying to protect you, baby. Don’t want you getting anymore hurt than you already have been by him, or anyone else.”
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sexyxdylanxobrien · 5 hours
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imagine just getting absolutely railed in a mating press by rafe
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randomoutsiders · 7 months
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clingy!sensitive!reader x rafe?
she’s been clingy all day and rafe gets tired of it and yells at her then she cries, he comes to apologize by eating her out!!
"alright, get the fuck off," he twines, shaking you off the crooked arm you're looped around. "i need to get work done, and you're not helping. can you give me some space, please? jesus christ."
with a huff and a straightening of his spine, rafe returns his attention to his dimly-lit screen computer screen, the contents of which long lost in your memory. you're immediately frowning, blinking back the threat of tears that tickle at your waterline. you pick at the fraying end of your old sweatshirt when you slide off the edge of the bed, bare feet cold against the hardwood. "okay.. i'm just gonna go the bathroom."
the sorrowful tone with which you speak is enough to have rafe burying his face in his hands, an annoyed groan quickly chasing after the action. he rubs tiredly at his eyes before he moves upward to his eyebrows and then up to his hairline, until he's tugging at the short strands of hair. "stop that, come here," he commands, glancing up at your retreating figure through blurry eyes.
you pause at the doorframe, turning around and wriggling a toe into the junction between the transition strip and wood. "i just have to.. pee. and then i should head home, that's all. i have to feed my cat and everything, so..."
rafe closes the laptop, tossing it onto the edge of the bed so that he can fully lounge on the mattress. he tucks a hand underneath the weight of his skull, using his free hand to beckon you closer. "i said come here. don't make me repeat myself."
you return to his side with heavy feet, fingers wrestling snakes behind your back. "i don't want to be a burden anymore, today, rafe. i should just go home. don't worry about it."
rafe rolls his eyes near-immediately, reaching out to latch onto your wrist before you have the chance to turn around again. "i'm sorry, okay?" he starts, pulling you into his side so that he can press an awkward kiss against your clothed bicep. "i'm sorry. i was a dick, i know that. just come here, i don't want you to leave."
you blink back the next layer of tears that portend their descent, slowly accepting and leaning into his embrace. "i'm sorry," he continues, placing a wet kiss against a hidden junction underneath your jaw. "just stay, please?"
you comply, with a heavy sigh, easing into the bed next to him and tucking yourself rightfully at his side. "i don't want to bother you, though. you have stuff to do."
he rolls you over him, however, so that you're planted on his other side on your back. "yeah, i have stuff to do, what about it?"
he hooks his fingers into the bands of your sleep shorts and panties, drawing the fabric down your quivering thighs. "do you have a problem with that? is that okay?" he poses, tossing the discarded clothing onto the floor beside the bed. "but i just need a quick snack, and it may be the only way to show you how sorry i am, baby."
you nod, albeit hesitantly, when he pries your sticky thighs apart, teeth already sinking into the supple flesh of your inner thigh. "yeah?" he confirms, smoothing his hands over the delicate surface. "well i'm sorry, princess. don't ever leave, alright? want you close forever."
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hotchsstuff · 20 days
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the twins would invite friends round when they’re teenagers but shortly stop because they wouldn’t stop flirting with reader(their mom) and calling her a milf
is my personal belief
omg this is a very realistic scenario 😭😭 sorry if i modified it a bit, i hope you dont mind!!
it wasn't unusual for your sons to invite their friends over, on the weekend or a few hours before their soccer games. so, you didn't question when you saw a bunch of teenagers in your living room as you got back from the grocery store.
"mrs cameron!" greeted you one of james' friends. dave, you think his name was. he was often over, even showing up uninvited "let me help you."
he got up from his seat on the couch, offering to give you a hand.
"oh, thank you dear." you reciprocated his smile but gently dismissed him "it's not necessary, my husband is right outside."
in that moment, rafe walked in with his hands full. he casted a glance at dave, which made him look away bashfully. "i didn't know you boys were coming over."
"we just got here mr cameron." another teammate of james' cleared his throat, looking anywhere but at you. rafe hummed something under his breath. just got here my ass.
colin saw how his friend sat straighter and his cheeks reddened when you walked in and tightened his fists. he better not try anything funny or else he'd have to face rafe's wrath. rafe wasn't a fool. he'd noticed how they would stay a little longer when you were at home but you were too oblivious to see that, which only made rafe more frustrated.
"cmon, its late. get out." james stood up, leading his friends to the entrance door.
"james! that's not nice of you!" the twins rolled their eyes at your scolding "do you boys need me to drive you home?" you offered, hands reaching for your car keys.
"oh, hell no. see you tomorrow." james said in a hurry, pushing them outside and closing the door in their face.
"jamie, that's not how we treat our guests." you exclaimed, turning to rafe for support but your husband seemed quite pleased, sharing knowing looks with the twins.
"yeah, your mom is right." rafe murmured, kissing the crown of your head but he had a smug smile on his face. when he was sure you weren't paying attention to him, he turned around to give his sons a thumbs up.
needless to say, the twins stopped inviting people over.
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rafeandonlyrafe · 3 months
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countdown
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words: 700
warnings: 18+ only, smut, established relationship (theyre married), age gap (rafe is late 30s reader is 23), breeding, pregnancy kink, p in v sex, unprotected sex, rafe counts reader down to orgasm
taglist: @drewstarkeyslut @rafecamerongirl @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @drudyslut @drewsbabygirll @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @jjmaybankisbae @seeingstarks @angelofcigs @cece45450 @babygorewhore @vanessa-rafesgirl @michelleisheres-blog @outerbankspov @drewstarkeyswifehoe @cutielando
“my pretty little wife, supposed to give me a baby.” rafe grunts, his hips slamming forward into you, making your eyes roll back in your head.
“supposed to give me an heir. someone to take over.” he grunts, pressing your body further into the mattress, not caring about his weight holding you down.
rafe was a sweet lover, at first. before you married, he was gentle and soft, treating you like you were a breakable thing. it all changed on your wedding night when he switched from treating you like glass to like a toy, ready and willing to be fucked as hard as he wanted to that day.
it's been three months since your wedding night, and your stomach remains just as flat. he expected you to swell up with a baby instantly, give him someone to take over as he moves into his older years. someone to continue the family business, to carry on the cameron name in the outer banks.
“gonna get you fucking pregnant this time, i swear.” rafe mutters, your legs tightly wrapped around his waist, as if he would dare to pull out. “gonna flood you with my cum.”
“i want it rafe.” you moan with every thrust, clenching your cunt around his fat cock. 
you knew what was expected of you when rafe began his relationship with you. he's in his late 30s, still fertile but getting up in age, while you are at the ripe breedable age of 23. some people looked down on you because of the age gap, but you couldn't care less.
“gonna give you a baby rafe. give it to me.” you moan, moving your hips in time with his thrusts, wanting to feel his warmth spreading inside of you.
“gonna look so good with your tummy all swelled up with my kid.” rafe says, his lips moving to yours, taking your mouth in a dominant kiss. 
he moves a hand to your pussy, his thumb rubbing over your clit, massaging it. “i-i can't.” you gasp out.
“you can, baby.” rafe says. “come on, need you to cum for me too. together, okay?”
“it's too much.” you whine. it's been constant sex. rafe felt the pressure to get you pregnant and has kept you on his cock all day and night.
“im gonna count you down baby.” rafe says, pressing his lips against your jaw and cheeks, your mouth slackened open, breathy pants and moans coming out. “gonna count us down.”
rafes thumb flicks over your clit, not managing to be gentle. “5…”
you squeeze your eyes shut, trying to force yourself to relax and let your orgasm come, but you're wound so tightly.
“4…” rafe continues, his hips moving at a blistering pace.
“3…” you feel your orgasm building, your body responding to his needs, not caring what you want, just focusing on your husband.
“2…” you let out a shout, back arching off the bed as rafe pushes his cock through your clenching muscles, forcing himself as deep in as he possibly can.
“1!” rafe finally shouts, his cock immediately spurting inside of you as your orgasm hits, your entire body quivering and shaking as your high works over your body, legs locked around his hips as you angle yours up, keeping the cum inside of you, even as he pulls out.
“shh, good girl.” rafe mutters when you whine, his fingers pushing into your hole, clogging you full again.
“just gonna keep my fingers in for a bit. you're okay though.” he says calmly as you breathe deeply, exhaustion taking over.
“‘m tired.” you hum, looking to rafe. it's only midday, but you were up half the night riding rafe.
“go to sleep, my beautiful wife.” rafe says, kissing your cheeks as he moves to the side to lay against the bed, keeping his fingers plugging your cunt.
you close your eyes, nuzzling into his side with a yawn. “rafe?” you ask softly.
“what is it baby?”
you blink your eyes open, looking into his beautiful blue ones. “I think it took this time.”
rafe smiles, knowing you want to be pregnant just as much as he wants to breed you. “i think so too baby.”
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ipetite69 · 1 month
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·̩͙ ₊ ᨦ ♡ ᨩ ໋₊ ·̩͙
rafe's primary love language is definitely physical touch.
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rafeysbafey · 1 month
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if you’re accepting request
I would like to request for were rafe is inside of you, but your too tight and you don’t think he can fit? Thank youuu:)))
MDNI slight dark!rafe
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you laid on your back with your legs spread wide, ankles hooked over rafe’s shoulders as he leaned forward, cock hard in his hand.
his other hand found place on your hip, holding you in place as he nudged the head of his cock against your soaking folds.
“let’s try this one last time, k?” he hummed, watching as you nervously nodded your head in agreement, big doe eyes peering up at him.
the sight of you alone had rafe holding back, just wanting to fuck you into oblivion until you were begging him to stop.
he slowly pushed himself into you, a small whimper leaving your lips as you looked down to where he disappeared.
without stopping, he pushed himself fully in, your hips meeting rafe’s as your walls stretched painfully to accommodate him.
“t-too big,” you whispered, eyes looking up to meet his, a small smirk on his face as he tsked lowly.
“but you’re my good girl, you can take it,” he darkly smiled, blue eyes pouring into yours as he started to move his hips.
your mouth dropped open as you felt him drag himself along your walls, his tip already poking at your g spot and balls slapping lightly against your ass.
“fuck, look at that,” he groaned, eyes trained on the slight bulge in your stomach, a faint outline of his cock prominent as you let out a surprised gasp.
“so tiny i could just split you in half.”
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poge-life · 1 year
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Thirst Tweets ~ Drew Starkey
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(Gif creds to kasmira)
Summary: After reacting to thirst tweets about your boyfriend, you just couldn’t help yourself when you got home
Warnings: spit kink, choking, dom!drew, sub!reader, oral (m&f receiving), name calling, minors dni, all underaged readers will be blocked
“Oh, fuck.” Drew threw his head back with a groan as you took his cock deeper into your mouth.
After you guys left the ‘thirst tweets’ interview, you had been all over him in the car. There was just something about the way he had reacted to the tweets about him and how he didn’t shut them down, that just got you going.
Especially his reaction to you guys reading the tweet about ‘Rafe’ spitting in their mouth. You saw the smirk on his face and how he bit his lip. Clearly, there were a few things about him you still had to learn.
You two had been together secretly for a year. You both had decided to keep it private between just your friends and family, not wanting it to be public just because you knew how it would go.
“What’s gotten into you, huh?” He asked, voice laced with arousal as he tangled his fingers into your hair and tugged on it. You looked up at him through your lashes as you released his cock with a ‘pop’ but kept your hand around him, slowly jerking him off as you rested your head on his leg, “I learned a few things about you today, baby.”
He tilted his at you, signaling for you to elaborate. You pressed a kiss to the vein on the side of his cock before placing one on his hip. You pressed kisses all up his torso as you leaned over him, “Don’t think i didn’t see the way your eyes lit up when we read about you, or well, Rafe, spitting in people’s mouths. There something you wanna tell me?”
Drew placed his hands on your waist as he flipped you two over, “I think someone forgot who she was talking to.”
The kiss was messy; all tongue and teeth. Drew dragged his hand down the side of your body before wrapping it around your thigh and hitched it around his waist. You moaned into his mouth at feeling his cock graze over your panty covered clit.
As soon as you two got back to your apartment, you stripped both of you down and immediately went to work on him. Ever since he started to grow his hair out again and got his ear pierced, there hadn’t been a day where you didn’t jump his bones.
“Is that what you want me to do? Spit in your mouth?” Drew asked once he pulled away from you. He nudged his nose against yours but quickly pulled away when you tried to kiss him again, “do you?”
You bit your lip as you nodded, “I think about it a lot.” Drew’s pulse picked up at your words and you watched as his eyes darkened
There were things about you he still didn’t know, sexually, at least. Despite the fact you two had been dating for so long, you were still shy when it came to certain things.
Drew let out a groan before licking his lips, eyes never leaving yours, “yeah? What else do you think about?” He leaned down and pressed a kiss to the corner of your mouth, then your cheek; jaw, and then your neck. Tilting your head to the side to give him more room, you ran your fingers through his hair, “I think about you fucking me against the the window, so everyone could see it. I-“
You cut yourself off with a moan as he nipped at the skin, before mumbling, “what else?”
How the fuck were you supposed to focus when he was grinding his hips against yours. Drew brought your attention back to him by slapping the side of your thigh and you let out a yelp, tugging roughly on his hair in return, “what else do you think about?”
“I think about you fucking me like you do when you’re frustrated,” you moaned as Drew now adverted his attention to your tits. He left wet kisses on them before wrapping his lips around one of your nipples while his other hand came up to tug on the other one. You let out a content hum as you relaxed into the bed, “I also think about you spitting in my mouth.”
He released your nipple with a ‘pop’ before looking up at your, “yeah? You want me to treat you like a whore?”
You whimpered, nodding your head at him. Drew smirked as he sat up on his knees and grabbed hold of your panties by the middle and tore it.
“Drew!”
He simply waved you off as he buried his face between your legs. You shot up, a hand on the his head as the other gripped the sheets, “oh, fuck.”
Drew lapped at your pussy, tongue barely grazing your clit each time it passed. He looked up at you as he pulled your legs apart, forcing them onto your shoulders. He sucked your clit into his mouth and his tongue prodded the bundle of nerves.
You tightened your grip on his hair and threw your head back with a groan. You brought your free hand up to paw at your breast, tugging on your nipple.
Drew looked up at you and nearly came at the sight of you playing with yourself. He released the hold on your leg before sliding his middle and ring finger up and down your wet pussy before sliding them into you.
“Oh, fuck.” You moaned as he thrusted his fingers into you at a brutal pace. Not having the strength to hold yourself up anymore, you let your arms drop and you fell back onto the bed. Drew pulled his mouth off of you and placed kisses on your stomach.
He kept with the brutal pace with his fingers as he leaned over you. He could feel your legs start to tremble once he brought his free hand up to wrap around your throat, “open your mouth.”
Your eyes lit up as you eagerly complied, sticking out your tongue. Drew leaned closer and let his spit fall into your mouth. You let out a moan, closing your mouth before pulling him down into a kiss.
He pulled his fingers out of you before wrapping his hand around his cock. Moaning into his mouth as you felt him drag the tip of cock over your pussy, you pulled away from him and looked down as he pushed in, “oh, shit.”
Drew dropped his head onto your shoulder as he started to set a sensual pace. He moved his knees under your thighs and spread them apart so he was able to move deeper. One of your hands was in his hair and the other was digging into his shoulders.
Drew grabbed hold of your jaw, tilting your head to the side so he could leave wet kisses on your neck. His thumb brushed over your bottom lip and you couldn’t help yourself; you nipped at it before wrapping your lips around it.
Not diverting his attention from your neck, he pushed his thumb deeper into your mouth. The hand that was in hair moved to hold onto his wrist.
He gave a particularly hard thrust and you moaned, pulling his thumb from your mouth, “right there.”
Drew pushed himself up onto his hands as he pulled away from you, “doesn’t matter how many times we fuck, you still turn into a little slut.”
“You're such an ass,” you groaned, which quickly turned into protests when he pulled out of you, “no, no, no. Please.”
Before you could process anything that was happening, drew had flipped you over and held your hands behind your back as he harshly thrusted back into you, “It’s like you’re begging me to punish you.”
“I thought you liked it when I begged.” You smirked, looking over your shoulder at him. Drew brought his hand down on your ass and gave you a dark look, “You really think you’re in any position to be smart with me?”
“Guess your just not fucking me good enough.” You shot back, which you quickly regretted when he lifted your hips and pushed your head down into the pillow before fucking into you, “just don’t know when to stop running your mouth, do you?”
All he was met with was a moan and he couldn’t help but smirk, “there we go. That’s what i like to fucking hear.”
All that could be heard was the sound of skin slapping and the moans coming from you, with the occasional groan from Drew. He wrapped your hair around his hand and tugged your head up, “C’mon, baby. Tell me what you want.”
“Wanna cum. Please.” Was all you could let out. You thrusted your hips back against Drew’s, matching his pace. Drew stopped moving and just watched with a glazed look in his eyes as you eagerly threw your ass back on him,”there we go. Fuck yourself on my cock.”
After a few minutes, drew wrapped his arms around your stomach and pulled you up against his chest, slowing down his pace as he turned your head to pull you into a kiss. It was the exact opposite of what was going on 30 seconds ago. One hand was on your tit, a firm grip on it as his other slid down the front of your body and down to rub your clit.
You jerked at the feeling, pulling away from the kiss as you leaned your head back on his shoulder, “Fuck.”
“That feel good?” He mumbled, eyes not leaving yours as you nodded, tugging your bottom lip into your mouth, “Mhm.”
“Do you think you deserve to cum?” Drew asked, tilting his head down to nip at your ear, “cause I don’t think you do.”
You quickly shook your head, eyes wide and terrified of not getting to cum, “No. Please. I’ll be good.”
“Yeah? Gonna be a good girl for me?” He asked, rubbing your clit faster, “not gonna run your mouth anymore?”
You let out a whimper as you reached behind him to thread your fingers in his hair, “just wanna be good for you.” You pulled his head down for a kiss before tugging on his lip and looking up at him with big doe eyes as you stuck your tongue out.
How could he refuse when you looked at him like that?
He gathered the spit in his mouth before letting it fall from his mouth and into yours. Before you could bring your tongue back into your mouth, Drew pulled you in for another kiss. You could feel his spit dripping down both of your chins but neither of you cared. Tugging on your bottom lip as he pulled away, Drew smirked as he pushed you forward and pulled out of you, “gonna have to work for it, baby. I want you to ride me.”
He laid down next to you on the bed, arms behind his head as he watched you kneel on shaky legs before swinging one of them over his hips. His hands came to hold onto your hips to help steady you as you reached for his cock. You could practically feel it throbbing as you slid down onto it.
You both let out a moan at the new feeling. Drew was well endowed and you always felt so full when you were on top.
“You okay, baby?” He asked, rubbing your hips with his thumbs. You couldn’t help but smile at him; even when he was railing the shit out of you, he was always making sure you were okay.
“Never better.” You laughed, placing your hands on his chest as Drew moved his hands to ass, squeezing it before placing a harsh slap on both cheeks, “Good. Now show much you’re gonna be good and fuck yourself on my cock.”
Slowly moving your hips up, leaving just the tip in, you brought your hips back down and you both let out a moan. Drew grabbed hold of your ass and helped with your movements.
You leaned down and pressed your lips to his jaw before moving down to his neck. In response, Drew held your hips down as he thrusted up into you.
“You’re squeezing-oh fuck- the shit out of me.” Drew let out as he sat the two of you up, moving your hips against his. You tugged his head back as you looked down at him.
Drew was the hottest man you had ever seen and you were so damn lucky to have him.
His pupils were blown, eyes droopy, and his lips were red and pouty. If he looked this fucked out, you could only imagine how you looked.
“That’s because y-you’re so big.” You stuttered, as your clit brushed the hair that was right above his dick. Drew smirked up at you as he brushed your hair back, “yeah, that right?”
“Mhm.” You mumbled as Drew leaned forward and wrapped his lips around your nipple and tugged on it before moving to your other one.
He pushed you backwards until you were laying on your back, taking advantage of your blissed out state as he moved both of your legs over his shoulders and thrusted back into you at a harsh pace.
“Oh shit,” you moaned, as Drew pushed your thighs to his chest, hovering over you as he rolled his hips into you. Your back arched off of the bed at the new feeling, You grabbed onto his biceps, digging your nails into them, “right there!”
Drew rolled his hips into yours with a smirk on his face, as he reached up to wrap his hand around your throat, “You know what you need to do if you wanna cum.”
‘Smug little bastard’
“Please let me cum…daddy.” You begged, grabbing hold of the wrist that held onto your throat, “I wanna cum for you.”
“Are you gonna be a good girl?” He teased and you had to refrain from rolling your eyes, “Yes. I wanna be your good girl. Please let me cum.”
He gave short but deep thrusts as he tilted his hips, which was all he needed to do to make you cum.
“Oh…fuck!” Your legs trembled on his shoulders as your pussy continuously pulsed around his dick. It didn’t take long for Drew’s orgasm to approach and he leaned down to kiss you, “where do you want me to cum?”
You blinked up at him, mind hazy and taken back by his question, “I-in me. I want you to cum in me. Please.”
Drew let out a loud moan at your words, not realizing how much of an impact they would have on him, “want me to cum in you? Fuck a baby into you? Hm, is that what you want?”
‘Well, it was now’
You whimpered as you nodded your head, “want a baby, Drew. Your baby.”
“I got you, baby. I’ll give you a baby.” Drew moved your legs so your thighs were pressed together and against his chest as he fucked into you relentlessly, desperate for his release. He threw his head back as his hips faltered against the back of your thighs.
You could feel his cum spurt into you in long ropes. And it felt… euphoric.
“Oh…shit.” He groaned as he pulled out, watching as his cum spilled out of you. He leaned over you to give you a kiss on the forehead, flopping on top of you, burrowing his head into your chest, “love you.”
“Love you, too, baby.”
A/N
When I tell you that this probably the best work I’ve ever done, I mean it. I do wanna start a tag list for my works so please let me know if you would like to be added!!
@nct-whore @willowpains @simpforboys @leigh-kay
10K notes · View notes
andy-15-07 · 19 hours
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Family Reunion Surprise
masterlist ! pairing Drew Starkey x reader
Summary :Drew and Y/n tell their families the big news
Outer Banks Masterlist
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The Montunes, with its picturesque scenery and serene atmosphere, was the perfect setting for a family reunion. Drew Starkey and Y/n had been planning this for months, eager to bring their families together for a memorable vacation. As they stood hand in hand at the entrance, excitement and nervousness coursed through them.
"Drew, are you sure this is a good idea?" Y/n whispered, her fingers intertwined with his.
Drew squeezed her hand reassuringly, his eyes alight with determination. "Absolutely," he replied with a confident smile. "It's time for our families to come together and celebrate."
With a deep breath, they entered the main lodge, greeted by the familiar faces of their loved ones. Laughter and chatter filled the air as hugs were exchanged and old memories reminisced.
"Drew! Y/n!" came a chorus of voices as their families spotted them. They were engulfed in a sea of hugs and greetings, the warmth of their families' love washing over them.
After settling in, Drew and Y/n gathered everyone in the spacious living room, their hearts pounding with anticipation. This was it—the moment they had been waiting for.
"Hey, everyone," Drew began, his voice steady despite the nerves swirling inside him. "We have something important to share with all of you."
All eyes turned to them, curiosity sparking in their gazes.
Y/n took a deep breath, her eyes shining with emotion. "Drew and I..." she started, her voice trembling slightly. "We're engaged."
Gasps of surprise echoed through the room as Drew slipped an elegant ring onto Y/n's finger, the diamond sparkling in the soft light.
"That's not all," Drew added, his grin widening. "We're also expecting a baby."
The room erupted into cheers and applause as their families enveloped them in hugs and congratulations. Tears of joy streamed down Y/n's cheeks as she felt the overwhelming love and support surrounding them.
"Drew, Y/n, that's amazing!" Y/n's mother exclaimed, her eyes brimming with tears. "I'm going to be a grandmother!"
Drew's father clapped him on the back, a proud smile on his face. "Congratulations, son. I couldn't be happier for you both."
Amidst the excitement, Drew and Y/n shared a tender glance, their love for each other shining brighter than ever. This was the moment they had dreamed of—the moment their families came together to celebrate their love and the new life they were bringing into the world.
As the night wore on, they gathered around a crackling bonfire, sharing stories and laughter beneath the starry sky. The air was filled with the sweet scent of marshmallows roasting and the sound of heartfelt conversations.
"I can't believe this is happening," Y/n whispered to Drew, leaning her head against his shoulder as they sat by the fire.
Drew wrapped his arm around her, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "Believe it," he murmured, his voice filled with love. "This is our family now, Y/n. And nothing could make me happier."
As they watched the flames dance and the stars twinkle overhead, Drew and Y/n knew that this was just the beginning of their journey together. With their families by their side, they were ready to face whatever the future held, knowing that their love would carry them through it all.
And as they drifted off to sleep that night, the sound of laughter and love echoing in their ears, Drew and Y/n knew that they were exactly where they were meant to be—at the Montunes, surrounded by the people they cherished most in the world.
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xveenusx · 2 months
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Wanted
Paring(s): JJ maybank x fem!reader
Summary: in a world where someone had everything, she still got treated like she was nothing. all she wanted was to be wanted.
Authors note: I wanted this piece piece to be as real as possible. It's not simple, its messy. We've all gone back to that one person we know we shouldn't just because being alone seemed worse. Also she gets absolutely railed so that helps. So please be kind to her lmfao.
Rating: smut, 18+, mdni, ANGST
Song rec: making the bed by olivia rodrigo
Part 1: Guilty
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Bored. 
I was so incredibly bored. I leaned against the built in bar as I watched Topper and Kelce take body shots off some tourists they invited. The loud bass of the music did little to tune out the annoying voice of Amy Culpo, who stood next to me, and rattled on about my mother’s latest line. 
“I mean, it’s absolutely stunning.” I know it is. I was there when she designed it. “Any chance you have tickets to her next show?”
Ah, there it was. The brutal truth he reminded me of all those months ago. Every interaction was a strategic move to climbing the next prong on the social ladder. Everyone always wanted something. 
I used to fight that notion. I thought I was better than them because I actually cared about other people. My wealth did not define me nor how I treated other people, but despite every effort I made both before and after him, I realized none of it mattered. 
I couldn’t escape my wealth. It was permanently engraved into my body and no matter how hard I tried to scrub, it wouldn’t go away. I’ve now fully embraced that ugly truth and decided that I might as well use it to my advantage. I almost always had something that others wanted and I just had to figure out what they were willing to give. I didn’t need any more money, but there were things that were far more valuable. Favors, tickets to the hottest openings, plane rides. Since everyone already saw me as a spoiled little rich girl, I might as well play the part. 
‘Depends. Are those last season MIU MIU?” I asked, tossing a look at the shoes on her feet. 
“There from the season before-“ I pulled a face at her words. Before last season? I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing anything last season let alone the season before. 
“Oh honey, if those are two seasons old, then I highly doubt you have anything I want.” The shocked look on her face dulled the aching pain that seemed to permanently reside in my chest. 
“I can charter a plane-“
I raised my hand to silence her. “You don’t have your own?” 
What was she even doing here? 
This was a new little project of mine. I tossed away all those societal niceties that did little for me in the end. I still couldn’t get anyone to stay. This was much more fun. You’d be surprised by how much stuff you could get away with if you cut out all the bullshit.
Amy’s cheeks flushed red and maybe once I’d have felt bad or be disgusted by how I was treating her but I was numb. I realized nothing really mattered. Whether I was nice or rude, people all wanted the same things from me. At least this way, I could armor myself. 
“There’s my pretty girl.” Warm hands curled around my waist, tugging me against a hard body. 
I rolled my eyes. I wasn't his anything, Rafe knew that but he’s always had a flare for the dramatics. Tom Ford’s Noir de Noir filled my nose as I swatted at his hands, hands that I’ve grown quite familiar with. 
“You left me.” I shot him a bratty look, one he met head on with a smile. Amy still stood there awkwardly, clearing her throat in an obvious attempt to gain my attention. 
I turned around in Rafe’s arms, debating my next move. Almost immediately his chin came to rest on the top of my head while his arms curled around my front.
My eyes shot one last distasteful look at her outfit, before tossing out my arm in the opposite direction. “Shoo.”
She huffed before stomping away but not before shooting me one final glare. A look that would have made me cry before, but now it simply dinged off the impenetrable armor I’ve suited myself with. 
“I was hoping it’d build character, but clearly that didn’t work.” I could hear the smile in his words as he pressed a kiss on the top of my head. 
“The entire conversation was dull. She didn’t even have a jet, plus her shoes were two seasons ago.” I shuddered in disgust. Could never be me.
Rafe clutched his chest in mock disgust,”Not two seasons.” 
I let out a huff, my chest going warm at the teasing glint in his eye.
There was no spark. There were no butterflies. Just familiarity and warmth. It was safe. We both knew what this was and expected nothing more. For now, we were just having fun. Despite the fact that I spent most nights at his place and rarely found myself without him.
I’ve found somewhat of a friend in Rafe. Someone to share the burden of being from a family like ours. He understood me. He enjoyed shiny things just as I did. 
We spent a lot of our time going to the mainland because the idea of running into him still sent me to my knees. This was a small island. One that he was spending all his time running around with her instead of me. Rafe never said a word about it, never mentioned his sister or her pogue friends. And for that, maybe I do love him a little.
“You make fun of me now, but you’d still be wearing polo shirts and plaid shorts if it weren’t for me.” My hands smooth down the front of his linen light blue shirt, the first several buttons open paired with some black Gucci slacks and a black belt from Dolce & Gabbana. He no longer looked like a frat douche but a member of upper class society. 
The same can’t be said about his friends.
“C’mon. Top and Kelce want us over there.” Rafe grasped my hand and tugged me in the direction of drunken yells. I pursed my lips but trudged behind him. The idea of being thrown up on was less than appealing, but being by myself was even less appealing.
“Hey guys.” Rafe nodded at them, taking a seat on the adjacent couch, a table with all sorts of drugs littered on it in between them. 
The pair of them were obliterated, both their pupils blown wide and their speech slurred. That didn’t stop them from tossing me a sloppy grin and shouting a greeting. 
The spot next to Rafe was vacant but on the other end was a couple gnawing each other's faces off that had me scrunching my nose up in disgust. He surely didn’t expect me to sit next to that?
He didn’t even bat an eye, instead Rafe patted his lap, tugging at my hand to sit down. “Wanna drink, baby?” 
I nodded, deciding to once again indulge. It was better than feeling that stabbing pain that burned in my chest. It was a horrible solution but one that Rafe always supported, in fact he often took part in self-destructing with me. We were done with trying to be perfect for parents who couldn’t give less of a fuck. 
A red solo cup with a familiar yellow concoction was waved in front of me. The pungent scent of tequila burned my nose and I shot him a secret smile. Rafe’s blue eyes narrowed in on me, glued on my smile before he shook his head in amusement. 
“That’s the kinda night we’re going for?” He asked, his hand slowly gripping my thigh. 
“Unless you don’t want to?” I sighed dramatically, pushing his dark blonde strands back from his face, something I knew he loved. 
“If I ever say no to that question, feel free to shoot me.” 
A giggle escaped my lips as I tapped my cup against his before bringing it to my lips, tilting my head back and zeroing it out. 
The tequila left a burning trail down my stomach that I welcomed. It meant I was one step closer to not feeling anything at all. 
“Another?” Rafe’s eyes pointed at my now empty cup and I nodded. 
Being responsible was so overrated. 
Lifting his hand up, almost immediately two younger boys, about 16, appear. Rafe pointed at me, muttering something before the pair nodded and took off.
I raised my eyebrow at him, confused. 
He just shrugged, leaning forward to touch the golden pendant that hung from my neck. “I promised them tickets to the Charleston basketball game if they did whatever I said.”
“Why?” 
“I was bored,” He hummed in response,”This is new, it’s pretty..” 
I smiled back at him, the very picture of nonchalance, before replying,”Thank you. You bought it for me.” 
His ocean eyes rested on me, the infatuation clear as day that had my stomach clenching. “Course I did. I have great taste.” 
Rafe gave me his card about two months ago, not that I needed it, but he enjoyed taking care of me and I didnt mind. Plus, whenever he made me mad, I made sure to run the bill up, hoping for some type of reaction but it only left him amused. 
Nerves gnawed at my stomach at the intense eye contact. Maybe the lines have blurred slightly. Clearing my throat to try and break the tension, I tossed my hair over my shoulder. “Want to see what else you bought me?”
“Enlighten me.” 
I flashed him my freshly manicured nails, “What do you think?” 
Rafe caught my hand, a half smile painted on his face, and kissed it. “Is that passion pink?” 
“It’s actually bubblegum blush.” 
“Beautiful, baby. I love it.” His words burned into my chest. 
It was hard to describe. His approval had butterflies thrumming in my stomach. Maybe it was because we were stuck in similar situations, but his approval suddenly meant something to me. Being with him meant I wasn’t alone. 
“You know we’re right here, right?” Topper's voice cut through the tension and I let out a laugh, relieved to look away. 
“Fuck off.” Rafe laughed, regaining his composure as well. 
Topper leaned forward holding out a black AMEX for me to take. My eyes paused on the card before shooting him a flat look. 
“Are you kidding?” 
Topper gave me a blank look, not a thought behind those eyes. 
I rolled my eyes and stuck my nose up in mock outrage. “Rafe does it for me.” 
The annoyed look on Topper’s face sent a thrill through my body. He was the easiest to rile up and Rafe knew it as he hid his chuckle with a quick cough. 
The hand on my bare thigh slowly drew circles, the action almost unconscious, which had my brain blanking. It was a relief to not think. To not remember. To not feel. 
“Are your hands broken?” 
“No. I’m too pretty.” I shrugged, batting my lashes at him.
Topper openly scowled at me, his eyes dropping to where Rafe’s hands held me tightly. “What happened to the nice little girl who cried about everything?”
“Lay off.” Rafe snipped, leaning forward and snatching the AMEX out of his hand. His movements were quick and precise, with ease that only came with experience. 
He separated the coke into three lines, one for me and two for him, just like always. 
Bending over, I snorted the line quickly. Turning to hand Rafe the hundred dollar bill, his fingers dust off any remaining powder off my nose, before he bent over and did the same.
I leaned back into Rafe, the mixture of the tequila and the sting of the coke had me feeling sublime. It was a perfect balance. The alcohol got me warm and buzzed while the coke kept me awake and alert, an upper and a downer, a perfect description for every emotion in my body. 
“I grew up.” 
Topper hummed. “You certainly did.”
For the next hour, my mind never drifted to him. I enjoyed having thoughts that were my own, that didn’t revolve around him. Instead, my thoughts focused on the man below me. Rafe was always touching me. Even more so than usual, his hand never left my body once. If I let go of his hand to reach for my drink, he’s just moved it to my thigh. It was almost possessive which was odd, we didn’t do possessive. 
Every couple moments, he’d pause in the middle of a conversation to press small kisses anywhere his lips could reach. It seemed performative, but I just couldn’t prove it.
“You’re thinking too hard.” His hot breath hot against the shell of my ear. 
I said nothing for a moment before licking my lips and muttering,”Are you okay? You seem more clingy than usual?” 
He just nodded, pulling me to his hard chest, his eyes darting to the side. “I just like having you with me.”
The sentiment was sweet and my heart tugged at his words. But, I couldn’t let go of the feeling that I was missing something. “I like having you with me too.” I allowed myself to give him a sliver of vulnerability, something I’ve avoided like plague, because it was true. He made living just a bit easier.
My head began to spin as I felt the lines of our odd friendship begin to blur. I knew neither of us would admit the sudden shift but it was there. I could tell with each lingering gaze and those secret touches. Maybe there was something here. I just had to give in.
“I’m glad you came to your senses,” He responded, but once again his eyes are not on mine but darting around me. 
“What does that have to do with anything?” My voice comes out hushed, hoping it would get him to lower his voice. 
My smile from his previous confession dimmed. Nerves slowly began to surface as I tried to read between the lines.
“You do belong with me, at least that's what you scream every night, isn’t that right baby?” He was boasting, loud enough to have his boys give him lame-ass high fives. 
The small burst of happiness curdled like old milk in my stomach. I wasn’t a prude, not by a long shot, but I was a private person. Rafe knew this and he was still flaunting our private moments in a way that made me feel dirty. 
“Stop talking about me like that.” I said, “What’s gotten into you?” 
I felt Rafe go rigid under me. Frowning, I tilted my head back to make sure he was alright but his eyes were glued ahead. 
“Rafe, I’m here for my stuff. Where did you say you put it again?” 
My head turned and my stomach did a backflip. Sarah stood at the entrance of the room, looking immensely uncomfortable. 
John B stood behind her, his big brown puppy-like eyes widened at the sight of me on Rafe’s lap. Or maybe it was because of  the coke laid out in front of me? 
But wherever he was, JJ wasn’t far behind. John B whispered something in Sarah’s ear, her eyes jumped to me for a split second before returning to his. She nodded and John B made a beeline for the other room. 
I let out a choked laugh. I’m sure he was going to report back to his little lap dog. What were they even doing here in the first place? It’s not like Rafe knew-
My brain clicked into place. The constant need to touch me and the over the top PDA was because he was here. Rafe knew he was here and wanted to rub it in his face. 
Rafe’s words were never for me. They were for him.
None of this was real. Not the endearing names, not the proclamations of affection. An ice bucket of realization poured over me and I felt like a fool. A fool for thinking that somebody else could want me, could maybe even love me.
Fuck this. Fuck both of them. 
“You knew.” I accused, shoving his hands off of my body. 
Rafe said nothing, but the flicker in his eyes gave him away. I wasn’t safe with him either. Embarrassment oozed into me, the feeling painstakingly familiar. We agreed to never make each other feel this way since our parents did it enough, but he did it to me. 
Don’t think. Don’t feel. 
Snatching the cup out of his hand, I forced it down, gulp by gulp, wincing at the burn. Straight tequila. “Babe-“
“Shut up.” I hissed, moving off his lap and shoving Topper to move over. Everyone always wanted something from me. 
They never just wanted me.
Maybe I was defective. I had to be. 
JJ didn’t love me when I was me. When I cared about other people and sacrificed pieces of my happiness for them.
Rafe didn’t love me now. When I was a spoiled brat who treated everyone like a transaction. 
It didn’t matter if I was nice or a total raging bitch. Either way, I couldn't get anyone to love me.
I was just the stepping stone they used before they found the person they really wanted to be with. I was just there to make them feel good about themselves. For them to take and take just to toss me aside when they were done. Leaving me a shell of a person with no one, not even myself.
I guess, I was impossible to love.
“Line it up, Topper.”
“Can I at least get a please?”
“Be lucky that I’m even talking to you.”
Topper scoffed but did what I asked, lining up two lines of chalky white powder. “There you go, princess:” 
A rolled hundred dollar bill was held out in front of me. Plucking it out of his fingers. I bent over the table. Don’t think. Don’t feel. 
Dragging the cylinder bill down the crystal snow powder I’ve grown to love, I inhaled deeply. The chemicals flowing through the nose. I could practically feel the coke dissolving into my bloodstream, my body vibrating in response. 
Dropping the bill on the table, I tilt my head back, begging my brain to shut off. I closed my eyes and chose to focus on the beat of the music that had my heart thrumming in my chest.
Then it happened.
All the air in the room was sucked up. The hair behind my neck stood up and my body suddenly awakened in a way it hadn’t in months. 
My body recognized him before my brain did. The moment I opened my eyes, his eyes clashed with mine.
JJ.
It was like seeing him for the first time, a memory I thought I would never get the chance to feel again. 
Heavy set blonde brows framed his bright blue eyes beautifully, the strong cut jaw that was currently clenched, and his lips soft and pouty, tightly pressed in a flat line. This face, his beautiful face, wouldn’t be complete without some mark. A bruise, a soft purple and yellow hue, decorated his cheek bone. His bottom lip busted. 
He was so beautiful. 
My body reacted before my brain could follow. I stood up quickly, too quickly that the blood rushed to my head and the room seemed to spin. 
God, he was beautiful. And I fucking hated him for it. He was supposed to be like me, a complete and total mess, but instead, he looked the same, even better actually. 
That thought alone had me ready to jump off the balcony.
My movements were clumsy and I drunkenly stumbled while standing still, his eyes clocking that in seconds. 
Despite the loud music, I noticed the silence coming from the couch. 
My eyes jumped to Rafe. All the laughter around us died off and everyone was exchanging nervous looks. It didn’t take a genius to read the room and the situation I’ve somehow managed to put myself in. 
Blue eyes flickered between the two of us. It cracked my chest open wide and opened the floodgates I’ve been trying so hard to keep closed. 
The crushing inescapable weight of shame hit me first. I was plastered, obviously so, and high as a kite. The evidence of what I’d been doing displayed out in front of me like a flashing sign. And I was fucking the one guy he hated. 
It was unreasonable, I know. He left me and even pushed me in the direction of the one guy he hated and yet, I was the one feeling bad. He hasn’t even opened his mouth yet and it’s been turned onto me. But love never makes sense. It made the most sane people lose every coherent thought, I was the prime example.
“You should probably go, bro.” Rafe said, his tone was anything but. 
He moved from his spot on the couch and stopped beside me. Rafe shoved a hand in one pocket while the other reached for mine, but I folded my arms across my chest. Mostly because I was mad at him, but a part of me didn’t want JJ seeing that. 
JJ didn’t spare him a second glance.
He had on a dark blue short sleeve button down shirt with black cargos and chunky black boots on his feet. A backwards red hat settled nicely on the blonde mass of wavy hair and his shark necklace hanging against the exposed part of his chest. 
It was so JJ. All of it, right down to the colorful bracelets that littered his wrists. 
A hand grasped my chin and tilted up. I held my breath. His fingers slid along my jaw and he rubbed his thumb over the skin. His eyes felt like lasers, honing in on every detail of my face. 
I swallowed audibly. JJ leaned in closer, bringing his height down to mine. His thumb brushed a soft stroke below my nose while his lips brushed against my ear. 
“You had a little something on your nose.” 
JJ let go of my face, his expression hard. Then he brushed past me, leaving a gaping wound in his wake. 
Tears burned behind my closed eyes. He didn’t need to say it because I already knew what he was thinking. Sure, JJ smoked some weed but he never touched any of the hard stuff, not wanting to pick up the same habits as his dad. Hard drugs were a hard limit for him and he found me snorting several lines of it. 
I went and became the very thing he hated, just like he wanted. It didn’t feel as satisfying as I thought it would. Instead, I felt like I lost another piece of myself. 
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I said to Rafe, finally gathering the courage to open my eyes. 
He shuffled beside me. “Him being here wasn’t going to change anything.”
We both knew that was a lie.
“It’s him, Rafe. It changes everything for me.” 
Rafe scoffed and shook his head. “You’re really going to try and go back to that?”
“I’m not saying that-” I spluttered out, outraged as his voice continued to carry across the room. 
“He didn’t want you.” 
People around us began to whisper, their heads huddled together with their phones out. Wet hot tears threatened to fall as the control I took months to master began to unravel. 
“Yeah, well you don’t either.” 
“What the hell are you talking about? Before he got here, everything was perfect.”
“I’m not stupid. You think I didn’t notice what you were doing? That wasn’t for us, that was for him.”
“I didn't mean for you to think I was using you-“
I gripped his chin, and pulled his face down to my height, my eyes brimming with angry tears. “You don’t use me. I use you.” I shoved his face back, needing to collect my composure. 
Everyone’s eyes were on us and I was desperate to save face. It was the only thing I had left. 
“Get the fucking picture?”
“Crystal clear.” He responded through gritted teeth, his eyes hard. 
“If you want a whore, go buy one.” 
Rafe cleared his throat, his face iced over. “I thought that’s what I was already doing.”
I stood there for a moment, not understanding what I did to deserve to be treated like this by not one man but two. I felt like an idiot. Like the stupidest fucking person on this god forsaken planet. 
Two hours ago, I thought that maybe Rafe had feelings for me and played with the idea of exploring that with him. And now, I was a gold digging whore. 
I felt another piece of my heart break off, mourning the loss of the only friendship I really had.
Pressing my hair down with my hands, I look down to fix my dress, swallowing as I went, hoping to pull myself together and buy some time. 
“I’m glad to hear how little you think of me.” I sent him a sad smile,” I guess I’m keeping up with everyone’s expectations.” 
I stepped around him, heading to the direction of the bar, the adrenaline from all the excitement having effectively killed my buzz. 
Staring at the bottles of liquor on the counter had me frowning, all being some bottom shelf brand I’ve never heard of. I moved around the bar to the cabinets behind it, looking for the good tequila. It was the least Rafe could do seeing as though he just blew up whatever the fuck we were doing. 
Spotting the only tequila I drank, I grabbed the entire handle. Twisting the top off, I tossed it aside carelessly before taking a healthy swig. Then another. And another. 
I stumbled into another room, shoving people out of my way. I ignored the angry shouts because I was way past the point of caring. I just-I just wanted to see him.
As if someone heard my thoughts, I spotted JJ leaning against a wall with a lit joint dangled between his fingers and a beer in the other. 
He had so much charisma, it demanded the attention of the room. People gravitated towards him all the time but he refused to see himself that way. 
Even now, he stood surrounded by several people, including a girl who was too close for my liking, and they were hanging onto every word. All of their bodies angled towards him, nodding along. The people around them curiously moving in to hear more of the story that had so many of them laughing. 
It was almost ironic. It was the point I was trying to prove all those months ago. Kooks vs. Pouges was bullshit. Because, right now JJ is telling a story to a bunch of Kooks who were eating it right up. Neither parties cared about their status, they just wanted to socialize and have fun. 
Why couldn’t he see that? 
The organ in my chest began to flutter, the butterflies erupting in my stomach at his nearness. Panic began to set in. I thought I’d pushed it all down. 
All it took was seeing him. Just once. For the last couple months of progress to be thrown out the window. I made sure to not feel anything anymore, because the alternative destroyed me. And yet, there he stood, looking like every dream I’ve ever had, and completely disarming my very being with one look. 
I never wanted to feel that way again. My heart was open and my soul was bared, but I was naive. I thought love was supposed to be empowering. But really, it was poison. It slowly entered your bloodstream, coating every vein before slowly taking over every organ. It leaked into your brain and made you lose all common sense. The poison tricked you into thinking that certain treatment was okay because at least they were here. At least, they still wanted to be with you because they love you, right? 
But eventually, like all things lacking an antidote, it began to cut off your oxygen. It curled around your lungs and squeezed until you gasped for breath with tears staining your face. It didn’t matter how much you screamed and shouted, nothing came out. The last organ it takes over is your heart. That silly little organ who was so trusting begins to pump faster, desperately trying to get that oxygen to your brain, because maybe then you’ll finally be able to think clearly. But in the end, it slows down. Each pump is slower than the last until finally it comes to a stop. The heart broke. 
It’s the closest thing to dying I’ve ever experienced.
It was like drowning on dry land.
His words did not leave me dented, but destroyed. 
I lost my sense of myself. I lost my identity. I put on a performance every time I left my house, wanting to see just how far I could get away with treating people the same way they treat me. 
At first it didn’t feel good, but now I didn’t feel anything at all. Or so I thought until I saw him again. And I just want to see that he was doing okay and maybe, if I can admit it, to see if he still loved me, however little that may be.
I watched from my spot on the other side of the room as the crowd began to disperse, leaving JJ with some blonde. I vaguely recognized her from a shoot for one of my mom’s brands. I believe her parents worked in the fashion industry as well. Which would have been fine, had she not said something that had him give her one of those rare smiles, the ones he used to give me in private. 
Nausea roiled in my stomach, maybe it was all the tequila or maybe it was seeing him smile at someone else when all I wanted was for him to smile at me. 
She leaned into him, a coy smile played her lips, running her fingers down the shirt I bought him, which basically made it mine. And I hated when people touched my things.
The mix of tequila and coke emboldened me. I found my feet moving in their direction before I could stop myself. 
“I wouldn't waste your time.” I could not get myself to stop talking.
“Why’s that?” The blonde’s eyes narrowed, her cheaply manicured hand resting on JJ’s bicep.
“JJ doesn’t go for kooks or so I’ve been told.” 
“Maybe he just didn’t go for you.” Oh, how cute. 
“Oh honey,” I sighed dramatically and took one step towards her, tilting my head to the side, dragging my eyes up her body, in obvious distaste. “Are you new here?”
“Well, yeah but-“ She tried to explain. 
Clearly, she needed a run through on how the social ladder worked here. I was at the top and everyone else was at the bottom. 
“Your mom works for some brand from Paris right?” I watched as her eyebrows pulled together in confusion. 
“She does. We moved here because she’s doing a collab with-“
“With my mom.” 
“So I suggest you take your hand off of him,” I smiled on cue, my tone dipped in sugar before batting my eyelashes at her innocently,” Unless you want her blacklisted?” 
I could see her debating what to do. She didn’t know if I was bluffing but she'd learn rather quickly just how far I was willing to go. 
“Hmm, cute shoes.” I hummed, “Chanel?” 
She nodded, apprehension on her face. 
“Won’t be able to buy those anymore if your mom doesn’t have a job.” 
Her hand fell and satisfaction settled into my like molten lava. “You can go now.” 
The blonde pursed her lips and stalked off, leaving me alone with JJ. “Trying a new type”
“And what type would that be?”
“Desperate.”
JJ tipped his mouth, saluting me before taking a sip of his drink. His eyes already glazed over from the joint in his hand. 
“A thank you would be nice?” I muttered, taking another pull from my tequila. I couldn’t talk to him sober or I’d lose my nerve.
“A thank you?” He appeared almost amused, adjusting his red hat. 
“Yeah, I just saved you.”
“I didn't realize I needed saving.” 
“Self-preservation was never really your strong suit was it?” 
JJ laughed, his eyes straying to the bottle cradled in my arms. “I could say the same thing, Princess.” 
Fuck him for calling me that. So what, I’ve learned to indulge just a little. It made everything in my life a little more manageable. 
“It’s called having fun, JJ.” Pouting as he snatched the bottle from arms just as I went to take another shot. “Since when did you become the responsible one?”
JJ leveled me with an unamused stare. 
I huffed, blowing a stray strand of hair out of my face. “Tough crowd.”
JJ snorted, pushing the leaves of a nearby plant back before dumping the remaining tequila. My mouth dropped open as he wasted every last drop of my liquid courage. 
How the hell was I going to talk to him now? 
I pursed my lips, “That was mean.”
“I’m doing what your boyfriend should have done an hour ago.” His gaze fixed on my face, the intense stare causing my cheeks to turn red. God, would he stop staring at me?
“He doesn’t tell me what to do.”
“Then he shouldn’t have left you alone.” His tone laced with annoyance, “You have all these fuckers staring at you and you’re wasted.”
I tilted my head back to stare up at him, the annoyance I knew came from a place of panic. That was just how JJ was wired. 
“So you’re in love with me?” Someone come arrest me, because I cannot keep my mouth closed.
JJ shook his head clearly fighting back a smile. “You’re so crazy.” 
“What else could that mean?” I asked truthfully and I knew I had a love struck smile on my face. One that I’ve only given to one man in my life and he stood in front of me.
I just wanted to be near him. I wanted to hear his laugh and see him smile.
His face softened at my words. “Are you okay? Does he take care of you?”
“Of course, I’m okay. Why do you ask?”
“Only one of us is fucking loaded.” 
I rolled my eyes and plucked the joint from his fingers. “Correct me if I’m wrong, and we both know I rarely am, are you not high too?” 
“Not from cocaine.”
“Already back to judging so soon?” I mused, taking a hit off the joint, the familiar stinging sensation wrapped around my lungs and squeezed. “Careful, I might think you care.”
Kill me now. Thank god, he took away the tequila.
“Who said I ever stopped?” My heart lurched in my throat.
I blew the smoke out slowly, my fogged up brain rushing to keep up with his words. 
Someone stumbled in front of me, slamming into my shoulder sending me flying forward into JJ’s arms. Something cold and wet splattered onto me, the bitter liquid dripping down my legs.
“Are you blind?” I shouted, shoving another drunk party goer off me. Looked like a tourist. 
She held her hands up in apology.
“I’m so sorry. Here, let me help.” To my absolute horror, this fucking tourist used a napkin and went to scrub the stain. Are these people animals? This was custom versace.
“Stop!” My cheeks flushed, from the weed or from my constant streak of bad luck. “Clearly, you’ve never owned anything worth keeping but this is Versace, you dick.”
I needed to go home before I burned this entire house down. 
“Is that how you talk to people now?”
I let out a loud groan. “Oh fuck off, JJ.”
I shoved him away from me, before grabbing the skirt of my dress and heading into the nearest bathroom, which just so happened to be Rafe’s. 
In reality, I just needed to get away from him. I needed my hands to be busy so that I couldn't grab his face and kiss him. Because I really wanted to do that. 
The sound of footsteps have my eyes widening in panic as I take in my ruined dress. All because of that blonde asshole next to me, if he hadn’t showed up, I’d still have my tequila and my sanity.
“I wanted to talk.”
I made a noise at the back of my throat. That didn’t sound like JJ at all.
“Fine, whatever. Close the door.” I didn’t need a million other people to see me lose my shit. I was already at my quota for the day. 
Jj stared at me with a confused look. “Close the door.” I nearly shout as the footsteps get closer but he moves just as quickly and slammed it shut, putting the lock in place.
“I just got this piece too.” I grumbled, huffing at the stained skirt. It was the Medusa 95’ Cut Out Mini dress in a stunning pastel pink. And now ruined with a beer stain from that horrible girl outside. 
“I remember this one.” JJ spoke from behind me. Of course he did. He remembered everything I bought. 
He always demanded fashion shows after all my shopping trips. He knew nothing about clothes but he always paid attention to me. He used to sit for hours while I prattled on and on about clothes.
“Unzip me?” 
“I’m sorry?” He choked out, setting his beer down.
“I need to clean it before it stains. Unzip me.” 
In hindsight, I was goading him. I wanted to see what he would do. I could tell he was already on edge since seeing me with Rafe. I wondered what a little push would do.
Neither of us moved for a beat. JJ puffed out a breath from his cheeks before he walked toward me slowly. I remained stock still, watching his every move in the mirror.  “It’s not like you haven’t seen it all before.” 
My heart fluttered at his nearness. Something I wanted since the minute he turned around and left. Home, I wanted my home back.
I jumped up at the feel of his warm breath against the back of my neck, goosebumps rising instantly. The tug of the zipper had me swallowing the lump in my throat. His other finger caressing every inch of skin, the zipper surrendered. 
The sound of the zipper stopped but he never dropped his hand. Instead, I watched as JJ swallowed before lifting his head, those storming blue eyes connecting with mine in the mirror. 
I stood on my Magda Butrym Appliquéd satin sandals and a flimsy pair of tiny panties. 
“I feel like this is a test.” I watched his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed.
“Is it?” I mused, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear. 
“Yeah and I’m failing.” 
The pads of his thumb brushed along my bottom lip, dragging it down slowly. My lips parted as a soft whimper escaped. 
“You’re still so beautiful, it hurts.” He murmured, almost angry with the revelation. 
Blistering hot satisfaction dripped over me. 
JJ’s other hand grazed my bare back, the contact immediately chasing my back to arch. Sparks of sensitivity erupted from my skin as my body trembled with hot desire. 
His hand moved higher, gripping onto my hair before wrapping the long strands around his hand, tugging my head back, demanding my attention. 
He stared at me with heavy lids, eyes like ocean blue blades. My body began to heat up. 
JJ’s eyes dropped back to my lips causing me to the lick them quickly. He backed me up against the Jack and Jill sink, my back resting against the cool granite counter. 
I blinked slowly, making the decision for him, angling my head up and smashing my lips to his. 
A groan ripped from his chest as he met my kiss with the same crippling desperation. His rough hands dropped from my face to my hips, his nails digging crescent shaped marks in the skin. 
My legs began to slightly shake as his tongue finally brushed against mine. Oxygen was something neither of us needed as we fed off each other's energy. 
His tongue licked and twirled around my own, another moan vibrating between us. JJ’s large hand trailed up skin, goosebumps appearing in its wake, before locking around my throat. 
His grip was strong, not enough to cut off my oxygen but enough to garner my attention. He pulled me up to my tippy toes by my neck, my nipples brushing against the rough fabric of his shirt making me gasp at the contact. His mouth clashed with mine once more, his lips wrapped around my tongue, sucking gently before pulling back and biting out a curse. 
My hands were desperate as they began to unbutton his shirt quickly, pushing the fabric off his shoulders. JJ whipped off the shirt just as my hands began reaching for his shorts, my fingers fumbling with the button. 
The laugh he let out was devastating. His smile was purely lethal for my heart. “We got all the time in the world, princess.” 
My stomach clenched at the nickname he gave me all those years ago. But, we didn’t. We both knew this moment would end the minute we came to our senses. 
JJ unbuttoned his pants and dropped them in one smooth movement before pressing his warm body against mine once more.
“Up, baby.” My arms wrapped around his neck immediately, my nose grazing his. JJ gripped my thighs tight as he placed me on top of the counter. 
He rested the palm of his hands on either side of me, enclosing my frame, daring me to move. JJ leaned down, his lips leaving phantom kisses along my collarbone, nipping as he went along. He stopped at the swell of my breasts, both hands encasing my heavy aching breasts before pressing them together. 
He pressed scorching hot, open-mouthed kisses on every inch of exposed skin. His tongue pressing against my swollen nipples before closing around one and giving a strong suck. I was a mess beneath him, my chest heaving with heavy pants. 
He nipped and tugged at the soft flesh of my breasts, leaving small purple love bites scattered on my chest. He pressed a kiss on each one, a pleased hum echoing within the bathroom. 
JJ dropped to his knees slowly, each hand running down my bare legs. I wanted to see him. 
I leaned back on the palm of my hands and arched my back in a teasing invitation. Pulling my legs from his grasp, I propped my feet up on the counter, but kept my knees bent, the tops touching.
The utter obsession that painted his face had me biting down on my lip hard enough to draw blood. “Please, Jayj.”
He stood stock still, similar to a statue. It looked like he almost stopped breathing as I slowly pushed my knees apart. I was drenched, I could feel myself soaking the skimpy fabric of my thong, my thighs glistening with the evidence of my arousal. 
JJ’s eyes went black, locking in on my wet pussy before jumping back up to me. His hands found my thighs and roughly dug into the skin to keep my legs from closing. 
He leaned forward, his index finger hooking the front of my thong before curling the fabric and tugging it up roughly between my lips. “Fuck.” I mewled, watching as he pressed his face between my legs and inhaled deeply. 
I could feel my clit throbbing, needing to be touched. With one more tug, JJ slaps the side of my thigh, having me lift my hips up to take the last piece of fabric off my body. An insatiable grin formed on his face that went straight to my clit.
The first touch onto my lips had my hips shooting off the counter, his touch like electricity. He blew a breath against the aching skin, his hot mouth watering at the sight of me. Two fingers pushed apart my drenched folds, rubbing against the sensitive skin again and again, turning me into a mindless puddle. 
He smirked at my trembling legs. “You okay, baby?”
“Fuck off.” I responded through gritted teeth, trying to gather myself. 
He dipped forward, gathering saliva before slowly spitting it out, the stream of spit pattering against my spread lips. The sound was obscene. 
“That’s not very nice.” 
Tears of frustration began to build up as I discarded my hands into those loose blonde strands, knocking his hat off. “You love it.”
The grin he sent me was feral and I knew this was exactly what I needed. “I sure do, princess.”
He enclosed his mouth against my swollen clit and sucked roughly, a loud shout erupting from the depths of my chest. JJ parted my lips again, forcing his tongue inside and out, again and again, devouring every inch of my pussy. 
My cunt clenched against his tongue making him moan loudly. My body was burning as he swirled his tongue along the bundle of nerves once more. Another cry left me as I tried to find something to grab onto. His tongue lapped up all the fluids that continued to come out and I found myself forgetting how to breathe. 
I pushed his face deeper, grinding against his nose that continuously rubbed against my clit, my fingers tugging at his hair, needing a release. The knot in my lower stomach began to tighten as I whispered his name again and again like a prayer. The sound of my breathy pleas spur him on as he slipped two fingers in my pussy, meeting no resistance. 
The squelching noises had me throwing my head back against the mirror which had begun to fog up. I clenched around his large fingers that rubbed against my sensitive walls wanting him to lose control. 
JJ curled his fingers upward causing my knees to buckle and my mind go blank. I was close and he knew based on the tremors the shook my legs. I could barely hold myself up as everything went fuzzy. 
A choked moan escaped my lips that curled into a ‘o’ as his mouth sucked that rigid spot of flesh while his fingers continued to hammer into me. The invisible band snapped and as a wave of pleasure washed over me. My body finally began to relax as I tried to catch my breath, my chest rising and falling dramatically. 
I spared a glance at him. JJ’s eyes were low, eyes pitch black and glued to my face, and his cheeks flushed red. He looked pussy drunk. 
“Looks like I have to clean you up.” He mumbled against the flesh of my thighs. My eyes rolled to the back of my head as his hot tongue began to catch all the arousal that dripped down my thighs. I was sensitive and tried to move back, but his hands locked around my thighs to keep them open. Shives forced their way up my spine as he lapped all my fluids up, humming as he went along, not leaving one bit of skin untouched. JJ pressed one last kiss before pulling back and licking his lips.
My heart hammered through my chest and vaguely though my haze of pleasure did I hear a murmur.
“Huh?” I felt him smile against my thigh, clearly finding my delirious state funny.
“Barry, man, have you seen her?” Rafe’s voice drifted under the door. 
I froze at the sound of his voice, my eyes darting to JJ who just smirked from his spot between my legs. 
“She’s right here, man.” JJ whispered, straightening up to press a kiss on the crown of my head. I shook my head at him, my eyes wide with a silent plea, but JJ disregarded it. 
 “She’s a little busy at the moment.” 
I shook my head, pressing my palm against his mouth, his next words coming out muffled. He never knew when to shut up. The last thing I needed was Rafe finding us in his bathroom.
I kept my hand on JJ’s mouth until footsteps faded and we were alone once again. 
JJ nipped at the palm of my hands, his tongue slipping out. My face screwed up as I let out a squeal, “Ew, Jayj.” 
“Shouldn’t have tried to shut me up to protect your boyfriend’s feelings.” He said the words lightly, but I could hear the slight edge in his tone. 
Pushing him off my softly, I hopped off the counter with shaky legs. “Since when do you care about Rafe’s feelings?”
I winced as I tried to take a step, my knees nearly knocking together from the aftershock. JJ always left me a shaking disheveled mess afterwards, but I felt lighter, because he was looking at me the way he used to. 
And, I wanted that to last just a bit longer. 
“I don’t care about his feelings-“ He scoffed, before pausing at the teasing smile on my lips. “You’re fucking with me.”
“Too easy.” I let out a shriek of laughter as JJ's arms wrapped around my waist, lifting me up in the air.
That was how I found myself sweaty, pressed against Rafe’s sheets, struggling to breathe. The violent sound of skin slapping echoing in the room, my raspy moans intertwining with his hot pants. 
One of JJ’s hands gripped the back of my head, pinning me to the mattress, the other pushing down on my back, forming a deep arch, to pull his cock in deeper. 
I couldn’t register anything he was muttering as he bottomed out since of me, my mind go blank. My walls spasmed against him with each rut of his hip, sucking him back in every time he pulled back. 
I was soaked, my pussy dripping around him. The sopping wet noises spurring him on, his pace quickening with those deep purposeful strokes. 
I couldn’t focus on anything but him. The smell; the feel of him. The way his cock continued to brush against my cervix made me borderline delicious. 
“Fuck,” JJ shuddered, rolling his hips in and out of my pussy had me clamping around him once more, a tidal wave beginning to build up inside me. 
 I whimper left me, the coil in my stomach pulling tight as I searched for a release. The tip of his cock pressed into me repeatedly, forcing my legs to shake once more. 
My hands searched for something to hold onto as I tried to anchor myself from being drowned in pleasure. “J. J, I-I cant-I’m gonna-“
I felt his pace begin to pick him, his cock twitching inside me as he continued his movements, grinding his hips against the globes of my ass, until there was no space between us. 
It was like he was imprinting himself into my skin. Like he didn’t want me to forget him. 
As if I could ever forget JJ Maybank. 
My whines got louder, his words becoming more and more depraved. His large calloused hands ran all over my body like he was etching it to memory. 
Quick and quiet gasps bled from my parted lips, as he hammered into me from behind, his hands lacing with mine against the sheets. 
The coil in my stomach snapped, white flash blinding my vision, this orgasim more intense than the first. I could feel myself coating his hips and upper thighs, fluids dripping on the sheets. 
I could hear JJ’s voice whine, he began to babble nonsense under his breath, with each languid thrust. 
My heartbeat was in my ears as I pushed my hips back to match his thrusts, wanting him to finish despite all my sensitivity coming to head. His nails dug my hips, my cunt suffocating as he continued to grunt his cock into me. 
“Fuck, Kiara.” His grunt echoed in the room.
Kiara? 
I went numb. I couldn’t breathe-I couldn’t, I needed-
Bile coated my throat as whatever childish hope I had shriveled up in my chest. So I laid there, not knowing what to do, as JJ continued to pump in and out of me, but the soft intimacy we shared before dissipated. 
Why did no one ever pick me? Why didn’t anyone want me? 
I let my body go limp even though everything in me wanted to shove him off, but I just couldn’t get myself to move.
That was all it took for JJ to realize the slip of his tongue. JJ froze behind me as I shoved my face into my arms and choked on a gut wrenching sob. 
“Fuck, I-hold on,” JJ’s panick was audible as he slowly pulled out of me. I cupped my mouth to try and muffle the scream I wanted to let out. 
His blue eyes widened in horror at his mistake but it was too late. The words were already burned into my mind, replaying on a torturous loop.
JJ’s hand reached out for me, but I shrank back, scrambling to the headboard, desperate to put distance between us. 
I curled into myself, pressing my back hard against the headboard, willing for myself to disappear. 
“What did you just call me?” My chin wobbled. I tried to remind myself to breathe but with each inhale, my lungs were saturated with pain. 
“I-That was an accident.” He stuttered, raking his hands through his hair roughly.
“Get out.” 
“It just slipped out, I didn’t mean it.” 
“Get the hell out, JJ.” I yelled, and pointed at the door with a shaky finger. 
Like I said, his words never dented me, no they completely destroyed me. They cut me like a freshly honed razor blade.
And I was going to die of blood loss if I didn’t get him to leave this room. He had no problem leaving me then, why was he fighting it now?
Was he thinking about her the whole time he was inside me? 
Thought after thought haunted me. Was he comparing our bodies? Was he comparing the sex? 
Mortification had my stomach churning as I debated what to do next. My body was wound tight, on the verge of hyperventilating. 
Did he love her? Did he love her like he used to love me? Did he fuck her the way he fucked me?
I hated him. Before him, none of these thoughts would have crossed my mind. I may have been alone but at least I liked who I was. I never would have questioned myself the way I am now. But after him, the only thing I hated more than him was myself.
“Was Kiara not available,” I murmured, “so you came to the one person you knew would say yes?”
JJ didn’t find my joke funny. The air was tense, as if we were trapped in a steamed up bathroom, making each breath harder than the last.
“Kie and I aren’t together.”
“JJ, you know where the door is. Use it.” 
“I don’t want to leave.” He shook his head, his eyes flickering with something heavy. 
“You had no problem doing it before.”
“That was-“ JJ squeezed his eyes shut, his fists clenching and unclenching at his sides. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
He shuffled closer to my body, but still wasn't touching me. I nibbled on my bottom lip and wiped the remaining tears from my cheeks hastily. 
“I’m sorry.” He said, clearing his throat. “I am so so sorry.”
I lost my grip completely as those eyes perverted mine. His eyes were so blue, it was easy to get lost in them. 
Words couldn’t find their way out of my mouth. With wary eyes, I watched as he stood up and disappeared in the bathroom before appearing again with his shirt. 
JJ reached for me before pausing, his eyes asking a silent question. I nodded, forcing myself to loosen the grip I had on the sheets. 
I let him put the shirt on me, its protection better than the flimsy sheet. JJ dropped his head on my chest, his tan arms wrapped around my waist, curling himself into me. 
“I’m sorry.” 
I was sorry too. I waited for months for him to be back in my arms, but he ruined every independent thought I had. I couldn’t stop the overthinking. I couldn’t stop the pain.
I was hurting too, but I was the one comforting him. I was always the one comforting him. What about me?
I laid on the soft sheets and stared up at the ceiling. Our heavy breathing echoing in an otherwise silent room. His heavy arm tossed over naked torso, his fingers softly tracing the curve. The whisper of his breath caressing the nape of my neck where his face was buried. The familiar tickle of his golden strands brushing against my nose, his coconut shampoo wafting my senses.
The JJ induced haze began to clear up and the ugliness began to set in. 
A single tear escaped my eye, its trailing burning it’s way down the side of my face. I loved him. Even after he willingly abandoned me. After he humiliated me in front of everyone. After he called me her name.
I couldn’t cut him out. It didn’t matter what he did to me, the minute we’re within the same vicinity, my self preservation disappeared. Then I was left, treading water in the middle of a storm, with nothing but a life jacket. 
I had no one to blame but myself in this situation. I knew how he spoke to me, how easily he left me, how embarrassed he was of me. But he just smiled and it was like everything melted away. 
I so badly wanted to feel again, but not like this.
So all I can do is lay here. In this bed. With a boy who made me hate the kind person that I was. 
I made my bed. I didn’t realize this was how I’d feel when I lied in it. I turned into someone I hated. And suddenly I was bone-tired, exhaustion suffocating my lungs. I had no idea who I was and I was tired of being someone I wasn’t. 
“Where are my clothes?” I said. God, I needed to leave this room before Rafe found me. 
“I wasn’t really focused on that part, babe.” JJ mumbled, burrowing himself deeper into my side. 
My stomach lurched. I thought I’d feel different. I thought that maybe this would fix everything. That in some deluded way, we would get back together and everything else didn’t matter. Like he didn’t leave me standing at the party after stomping on my chest.
“I need them.” I mumbled. I choked down the need to throw up. The feel of our sweat coating my body and his soft breaths against my skin had me almost hyperventilating. 
Home, he used to be home. But, I’ve never felt like more of a stranger than in his arms right now. This was no longer my home. 
Kook pussy. Daddy issues.
I fucked up. Fuck, I fucked up. 
This only made me feel worse. I was good enough to fuck, but not enough to stay. 
“What are you in such a hurry for?” His fingers paused their persistent movement. 
“I have to get back-“
“To who?” JJ snapped. 
I moved to sit up, dragging the sheet with me as I avoided his gaze. “You know who.”
He didn’t need to know that Rafe and I basically ended. I just wanted him to hurt in the same way I did.
He let out a scoff. “You can’t be serious?” 
“Dead serious.” 
“This isn’t like you-“
“You left. You don’t know who I am anymore.” 
“Clearly,” he chuckled under his breath, “But suddenly Rafe does?”
I shrugged. “He’s my friend.”
“I don’t give a fuck who he is-“
I tuned him out. I was too busy trying to get his actual voice out of my head. 
Kiara. Not me. Kiara. Not me. 
It had taken every bit of strength to not chase after him that day. To not call and text, begging for him to give me the time of day. And I know, I know I should be stronger. I know I should have said good riddance and moved on, but love was never simple. 
When I saw him tonight, I thought that maybe it was fate. So all the waiting, all the practice of self control paid off because he came back. But, was this what was waiting for me?
“You slept with me,” I said, “ but you’re thinking about her?”
I didn’t want to know the answer, but I had to ask it. It was just one of a million questions I had since the day he walked away. Was there something I could have done differently?
I was wracking my brain to see where I had gone wrong, but maybe I just fell in love with the wrong person.
“From what I hear, you don’t care about anything these days. Why would you care about this?” I couldn’t detect any emotion in his words, just cold hard facts. 
I really was out here exceeding everyone’s expectations of me. 
But, he had to know that when it came to him, I always cared too much. That’s why his words caused another jagged piece of my heart to puncture my chest.
“Why would I care?” I whispered, shaking my head at him. “Are you listening to yourself?” 
Had I deluded myself so much into thinking we experienced the same love in our relationship? How could he even question that. Everything I did was always for him.
“I care about you, that never changed.”
Something pained flickered through his gaze. “Care about me? Yet your fucking Rafe Cameron.” 
“You’re mad about that?” I choked on a humorless laugh,”Let me jog your memory real quick since apparently you’ve got amnesia, you were the one that told me to be with him.” 
“Well, I didn’t think you’d actually do that to me.”
I threw my arms up in the air, exasperated,”Then why say it at all? Wait, I forgot who I’m talking to. You’re the king of saying shit you don’t mean.” 
“Saying shit and actually doing it are two different things.”
“Well, you did do it Jayj.” My lungs hitched. 
His jaw tightened, tension seeping out of him in waves. 
“You left. You did the one thing you promised you’d never do. You didn’t even look back as you did it.” I shouted, tears blurring my vision as my body continued to shake from adrenaline. “All because what? Rafe hurt your feelings? Because I have more money than you?”
I wanted to understand him. I thought I did once, but the more I thought about our breakup the more I saw it had nothing to do with me. And everything to do with him.
“Do me a favor and grow up. This is the real world. You’d swap places with any one of us in a second if you could.” 
JJ narrowed his eyes. “I don’t want any part of your world. I thought I made that clear.”
“I’m aware. But I was there, remember? For every bonfire, for every boat ride with you and your friends. What was it you guys said again?” It rushed out of me, “to going full kook?”
He watched me stoically, his fingers tugging at his bracelets. 
“I guess you’re the only one that can have the money in the relationship?” I raised my eyebrow at him, waiting for him to respond. 
The beautiful blonde boy that seeped into my bloodstream and made me love him. But, ruined us in the process. He destroyed everything he touched. 
He pressed the heel of his palms against his eyes, 
“What happened?”
“You want to know what happened? You fucking happened.”
That familiar anger flared in his eyes and I knew exactly what he was going to do. What he always did to me, but this time, I wasn’t going to let him erase me. Not again.
“Let’s talk about who you turned into?” JJ spat vehemently. “What? Rafe buys you a nice purse and you’re suddenly snorting lines of coke?” 
“It was actually a couple purses.” 
JJ shot daggers at me. “So what? You’re proud of that?” No, I only wanted someone to care about me if I died.
“I’m only doing what you told me, I’m sorry you don’t like the person you turned me into.”
I didn’t like her much either. But, JJ never gave me more and I realized he would never give me more, no matter how much I pushed. No matter how hard I tried to get him to see that I was the one he should be with. 
It pained me that it took all of this for me to realize that there were parts of JJ he would never let anyone have. 
“Why are you still here?” I said quietly. “I’m not going to let you sit here and make me feel like shit for how I chose to cope with what you broke.” 
I was done giving the men in my life power over me. I needed to stand on my own two feet even if that meant I had to do it alone. 
“Feel like shit?” JJ nodded his head with mock outrage,” Princess, you just let me fuck you in your boyfriend’s bed. I think you feel like shit already.” 
He was right, but I still recoiled back at the venom he spat at me. I sagged with exhaustion. He was just lashing out the way he always did.
“I didn’t know, JJ.” My voice cracked. “I-I didn’t know. I just did what I thought I was supposed to do.”
JJ’s head snapped up at the waver in my voice. His ocean eyes showed a clear battle, one I knew he’d lose. “S-Sometimes it just felt like I wasn’t good enough.”
His confession broke me. I knew the thoughts that ravaged his brain only because those same thoughts now drown in mine.  
My fingers twisted the hem of the shirt that my body was swimming in, a nervous tic I never got rid of. “But I never said that to you, you listened to everyone but me. You were more than enough.”
A tortured look passed his face, like the obvious miscommunication had disrupted everything. “I thought I was being paraded around to prove a point.”
I roughly wiped the tears that kept falling, “It’s okay to not want to struggle for everything in your life, JJ. You were exhausted and I just wanted to help you.”
“I didn’t know. I-just didn’t know.” I continued to repeat.  And I didn't. I had no experience with love. I wanted him to have the world since he was born with less than most people I knew, yet he deserved so much more.
“You let your friends help you, I don’t understand how I was any different.”
His blonde hair was sticking up in multiple directions, a clear sign of his obvious distress. "Because they’re my family."
Irremediable sorrow burrowed in my chest. "But, I was your family too."
I felt layers of grief his me in waves, quick and hard, one after the other as I came to terms with the fact that JJ never considered me any part of his family.
"You were the only family I ever had. I thought I was your family.” I sniffled, my ribs began to ache from the constant crying. 
A loud crack had me jump back as Rafe bursted into the room, chest heaving from exertion. He paused, his eyes locking in on the messed up sheets before dragging over to me and scanning my disheveled appearance. 
I thought we hit a milestone. JJ finally started talking and letting me know exactly what was going on in that brain of his. And maybe, that would be enough for me, for now. This all happened because JJ didn’t know how to communicate and I knew that wasn’t his fault, but at one point he needed to grow up. 
I was willing to hold his hand while he did it. But I watched as JJ’s eyes clocked the necklace Rafe wore with my initials. His gaze narrowed at the purse in his hand and my car keys in the other. 
The jealousy was evident in the way he rolled his shoulders back, his face granite. “Cute necklace.”
Rafe smirked, tilting his head to the side. “Thanks. It looks even better swinging in her face.”
JJ’s cool demeanor dropped, his blue eyes darkened into a brewing storm. “Enjoy my seconds, bro.” He clapped Rafe on the chest. 
My heart popped in my chest at his words, another bandage would do little to fix the shards that once resembled a heart. And, I knew then, that JJ confirmed the conclusion I just came to myself. 
“JJ?”
“What?”
“You were right. I do deserve better than you.” 
Loving him cost me something much greater: myself. 
I couldn’t continue to hide myself in any man that told me pretty words. I was no longer my own person, just a mere extension of them. One that they treated poorly and only took out when they were bored. I was always willing to do what they would never do for me.
I was just a girl, in love with an extraordinary boy who couldn’t see past all the things he was not.
I walked over to where Rafe was, forcing myself to remember his cruel words also. It was the only way I could get myself to walk out of here. My eyes lingered on the necklace for a second before I pulled my keys from his grasp and grabbed my purse. 
I wore nothing but JJ’s shirt, but at the moment I couldn’t care less. I left my clothes in Rafe’s bathroom, deciding it was better to leave them then spend another second in either of their soul sucking presence. I could always buy another dress. 
I couldn’t buy another me. Not if I kept letting these boys break me. 
This time, I was the one that never looked back.
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Side note: I WROTE THIS THREE TIMES so pls pls pls be nice to me. I tried to incorporate a lot of people's ideas. I know the OC is very wishy washy but she's so real for that.
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maybankswhore · 3 months
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WHEN YOU KNOW , YOU KNOW.
summary. rafe realizing you’re it for him.
warnings. none.
“ when you know , you know. when you know , you know. it kinda makes me laugh — running down that path. when you’re good it’s gold. ”
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Rafe’s head felt heavy. Your hands delicately worked at him. The only sound heard was the humming coming from the wind that whipped the side of his home furiously , demanding for you to hear it.
There were a million things Rafe Cameron could feel at one time. He was a master at anger— stowing away all that sadness , all that pain with flying fist and a mouth that could bite with words. He was a master at manipulation , at cruelty.
Though what he hardly ever felt was guilt. Sadness. Regret.
As he sat with his head low , he replayed the events that were still fresh in his mind. It seemed as though all he saw was red when Ward’s attention turned towards her. Scowling. Mocking.
He couldn’t stand it.
Rafe respected his father. Loved him. Craved his attention and validation. He could take whatever verbal abuse was given to him and swallow it , digest it and shit it back out because he was used to it.
But you— he could never allow that to happen to you , for that to be your future. As soon as the shameful comment left his mouth Rafe knew that he had to correct it despite what the consequences would be. If he didn’t , it’d happen again. Harsher. And after that , again. It’d happen like a replayed message over and over.
You were too good. There was an aura about you that was kind. There was so much about you to uplift and worship like the way your hair fell out of your ponytail when you worked. How it framed your face and helped the apple of your cheeks stand out more. Or when you’d always hold the door open for anyone , no matter who it was. Always giving the kindest smiles to strangers , making friends with just about anyone you came across because that’s how beautiful and inviting your soul was.
“You’re staring.” He heard you murmur.
Finally your head had lifted to look up at him. Your eyelashes coated with mascara that was now fading. Eyes like crystals.
“No.” Rafe shook his head. “Thinking.”
His response made you frown. Ward was always a sore spot for Rafe. He didn’t talk about him much or the weight the relationship held , but you knew. You didn’t need to be told.
“I’m sorry.” Shame overcame you. The whole fight that ensued had been because of you and although you knew Rafe would never place that blame on you— you put it on yourself.
Your apology caused Rafe’s head to snap towards you. Eyes focused on your face as he reached out to grab ahold of your chin gently. Your eyes swirled in the color of his as you made eye contact with him. Somehow the feeling of his ring cladded fingers on your skin still made your cheeks tinge pink.
“Do not apologize for that asshole—” Rafe cursed. “You hear me? Never apologize for something that wasn’t your fault.”
His voice was soft but it was stern. It was genuine and kind— something that was a rarity for him. Something that only you got to experience.
You couldn’t help the sigh escaping from your mouth. You practically melted at his touch , falling into the palm of his hands.
“I don’t want to be the reason you and your dad fight.” You admitted. That knawing guilt back in the pit of your stomach.
You sounded so small. So sweet. It made an unfamiliar ache in Rafe’s chest— one that wasn’t bad , but more so yearning. Yearning to lean forward and kiss you. Wrap his arms around you and suffocate himself with the smell of your perfume.
“I don’t care.” Rafe then decided. “I love you.”
You sucked in a breath that resembled a gasp almost. Those three words that you had held onto. The three words that held so much but yet so little because you had felt it , too.
You weren’t oblivious and you knew that he did. But you hadn’t expected to hear it.
It was everything and nothing all at once. Peaceful and nerve racking at the same time. It meant so much. Left so many things in the future to worry about and mewl over.
You were a lover girl at heart. The way he had spoke it. His lips that were always snarling , biting back the cruel comments to others to hide the fact he was hurting inside had now released the sweetest of sounds , kindest words that squeezed the beating organ in your chest just right.
Bubbling , Rafe brought his hand around your neck to lean you forward. Brushing a kiss to your mouth , resting his forehead on yours.
He knew that you were it for him. And if souls could get tangled with one another and become the same— then his had with you.
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gh0stsp1d3r · 14 hours
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maybanks sister reader and Rafe
"You make me crazy, you make me wild."
“It's not fashionable to love me.”
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