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#ramblings of a lunatic
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YOU'RE desperately trying to escape the narrative, I've engaged with it on a structural level and am beginning to make it my home. I'm recarpeting the narrative as we speak
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toripar · 6 months
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giganonyx · 16 days
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LET ME COOK
DO U GUYS
DO YOU GUYS THINK THAT MAYBE
JUST MAYBE
CROSSHAIR MIGHT KNOW THAT TECH IS AN OPERATIVE (SPECIFICALLY THE ONE HE WAS THROWING HANDS WITH)
OK LIKE HEAR ME OUT BUT
Crosshair definitely is STILL hiding something. The operatives make him MADLY uncomfortable- the sense of strange brotherhood between them scares him more than anything we’ve seen so far, maybe because, well, loyalty is a big deal to him, but also because one of them may actually be his brother.
He did not mention he was being put through operative✨ pre school ✨until Howzer pressed for answers, and he was forced to spill some beans. But I don’t think that’s all he’s keeping secret. Like, he wanted to keep the operative as FAR away from his brothers as possible(ie, drawing fire away, 1v1ing)- why? Could it just be he wants to deal with these clones on his own? Spare his brothers the fight? Protect them?
Or is it because he doesn’t want to traumatize them further with a brainwashed Tech? He doesn’t want their memory of their “dearly departed” brother to be marred by this…hollow, empty assassin before him. He can’t do that to them. But he *knows*, and it’s eating him alive.
There’s still so much he’s keeping from everyone, and not even Omega knows what he witnessed on Tantiss. He knows things, and he’s too afraid to admit them.
…..IDK THESE EPISODES KILLED ME MENTALLY THEY WERE SO GOOD BUT LEFT ME WITH SO MANY QUESTIONSSSSS AHHH
Plussss I wanna see more Hunter and wrecker content PLEASE my pookies need more screen time before I become a crosswhore AND Hunter girlie (one Star Wars man obsession is ENOUGH PLEASE).
ALSO THE THEORY THAT HUNTER DIES THIS SEASON IS KINDA STARTING TO FERMENT IN MY BRAIN BC WHY ELSE WOULD THEY ESTABLISH CROSSHAIR AS AN INCREASINGLY PARENTAL, DADDY MATERIAL GUY??? ESPECIALLY WITH HUNTER NOTICING OMEGA AND CROSS GROWING CLOSER I am ill do not let me think
I can see it now, Hunter sacrifices himself, but before he does, he tells Crosshair that “I know you’ll protect her. I trust you.” And then he fucking DIES, content with knowing Crosshair can be her newfound dad and protect her when he can no longer do so (I am in pain).
also when Hunter stood up for Crosshair >>>>> THATS MY MAN YALL HE WAS FR LIKE “ay man only I can shit on my brother man fuck off”
ALSO when Crosshair said “too bad” something changed in me (trying to resist crosswhore feelings)
There are two wolves inside of me (Hunter Wife (he’s the love of my LIFE) and Crosswhore) (actually three bc I’m also. A wrecker simp.)
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mycrowleycalromance · 4 months
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you're laughing. i'm literally the invisible man who can't stop staring at the mirror and you're laughing.
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realmollygrace · 2 years
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Ramblings of a Lunatic
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Ramblings of a Lunatic - Animation
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wholesalesoftie · 1 year
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when bears in trees said didn't realise happy wasn't healing (what'd you have to feel sad about?) and when they said i love everybody here but i am too scared to say it and when they said i'm running from my emptiness and when they said i'm getting better i am getting worse and when they said you just needed a confidant and when they said your joy always seems so fleeting and when they said you're proud of me i'm unconditionally loved and when they said it gets better in such small doses and when they said i can love myself, i just need to learn it....
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og-lunker · 5 months
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cellphishthekaiju · 1 month
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Crackpot Headcanon: The Emperor's 'Grand Design'
Goes without saying, that spoilers abound for Baldur's Gate 3 and course, lotta this is gonna be extrapolated ravings of a deluded fan reading too much into events, subtext, and the Forgotten Realms wiki.
This will be a lengthy doozy. I hope it's, at the least, enjoyable or useful.
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The Emperor, a.k.a Balduran... our 'savior', ally, and back-stabbing squid friend who does nothing but pretend to have noble intentions from the moment he speaks with you under the guise of 'The Dreamer'. To Larian's credit, The Emperor is a very well-written character, as he can appear as either an ally or enemy based upon how players interact with not just him but the game overall. There are layers upon layers of secrets, deceit and half-truths when it comes.
But ultimately, The Emperor is the true antagonist of The Absolute crisis, only overshadowed by the Elder Brain itself, if the Player goes against him and puts the final nail in the coffin of his Grand Design.
So, first order of business; dissecting the squid's character as much as I can.
The Emperor has a very unique design when compared to illithids encountered in Baldur's Gate... which, granted, is not many as we only encounter one other named illithid and the 'common' enemy types seen, sparsely, across the game. The common sense case of this is because, obviously, this is an important character so of course they'd stand out extravagantly.
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But it's this fanciful drip that leads me to believe The Emperor is much more than just some other illithid, that his deception about his opposition to The Absolute is far more sinister than the game makes it appear (and with the way the endings with The Emperor work, this feels further validated)
The Emperor may be a 'unique' breed of illithid known as a Ulitharid, a powerful and sinister 'evolution' of illithid that others view as godly, only second in power to Elder Brains... and this is what Elder Brains evolve from, usually at the Ulitharid's leisure but before it ages too far for its brain to be decrepit.
However, The Emperor's 'drip', attitude... just 'him' just screams he is an Ulitharid that broke away from The Absolute, yet has his own ambitions and no intention of furthering the Grand Design. He simply does not wish to rule a mere colony...
He IS the Grand Design (in his twisted squid brain, at least)
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THIS DUDE TRIES TO SEDUCE YOU FOR GOD'S SAKE!
Anyway, The Emperor is quite powerful in his own right, both physically and mentally but when it comes to evolving, becoming an Elder Brain has its downsides; namely that he would become a massive brain forever floating in a jar or Morphic Pool. All that physical power he is proud of would be gone, forever. His mental strength would be unmatched but without a body... The Emperor doesn't seem to like that idea at all, especially if his host had been the 'great hero' Balduran, as he claims (confirmed by Ansur if one does Wyll's personal quest through Act 3)
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At first, The Emperor passes himself off as The Dreamer, an entity within the Astral Prism that, repeatedly, tries to assure you that you both are in the same predicament, that The Absolute is a threat to you both and he protects you out of some noble benevolence... as well as that you need to embrace your illithid infection, consume other Netherese tadpoles to strengthen yourself, all for the 'sake' of your survival without actually explaining what is going on or who he is fighting within the Astral Prism (which turns out to be the Githyanki Honor Guard)
Once you hit Act 3, you learn of The Emperor's true nature (surprise, he's a squid!) and the reason he is able to guard you against The Absolute's attempts to transform you is due to dominating the mind of the trapped Githynki Prince to manipulate his unique psionic null-zone powers.
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As you continue exploring Baldur's Gate itself, The Emperor continues to try and lure you to his 'side' of things but speaking of how he had once been an adventurer the illithids had captured and turned, how he escaped The Absolute and came back to his beloved city to protect it from the shadows (and how he took the moniker 'The Emperor) but through the course of this deceit, he seems to unintentionally reveal things about his true nature; how he was manipulating magistrates and politicians, such as his dear friend Stelmane.
This is further "supported" in-game by The Emperor attempting to seduce you.
Like guys... WHY?! What about this dude does it for some people? I'm a monster-fucker myself but like The Emperor inspires nothing aside from punching him in his squid face... with a sledgehammer.
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When you reject him, The Emperor will still speak to you in a very passive tone (though a bit disappointed) but if you reject him more severely... basically call him a freak, the mask falls off and he will aggressively tell you that you are nothing more than a tool, a servant, to him
Nothing about The Emperor is noble or sincere, hell if you side with him and go full illithid, you are enslaved to him along with The Absolute, free to continue his own Grand Design to dominate the Sword Coast.
Alright, now that THAT part is over, let's move on ya.
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So how the hell does The Absolute, the Crown of Karsus and the Astral Prism factor into all this?
*clears throat*
The theft of the Crown of Karsus and the Astral Prism are integral to the Emperor's plan; The Crown of Karsus would enable him to dominate and control the Elder Brain via the use of the Netherstones and the Astral Prism, due to Prince Orpheus's unique psionic abilities, would enable him to preserve and guard his mind (I assume to prevent his evolution into an Elder Brain and/or protect against other illithids, including Elder Brains)
However, he needed to orchestrate the theft of the Crown of Karsus, which lay in Mephistopheles's vault in Cania, the Eighth Layer of Baator (The Nine Hells) and the Astral Prism from some unknown location, likely guarded similarly to her phylactery (perhaps Larian referencing the old lvl 16-20 adventure module 'The Lich-Queen's Beloved')
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The Dead Three were easy to manipulate, Chosen of godlings with grander ambitions but at odds with each other otherwise. Through them, The Emperor fostered his plan by managing to fool them into stealing the Crown of Karsus. Convincing and fooling the Dead Three into thinking an army of illithids, rehensible creatures without souls, was how Bhaal, Bane and Myrkul would ascend to Jergal's
This plan, in part, can be learned through finding texts in Kethric's personal quarters in Moonrise Towers along with looting Gortash's Vault in Baldur's Gate.
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The theft of the Astral Prism, however, likely proved much trickier for The Emperor, since it was under the possession of, what is essentially the Apex Predator of illithids; The Githyanki Queen Vlaakith CVII. This is how Viconia and Shadowheart become involved. He needed a backup plan in the event the Dead Three failed to retrieve the object.
Manipulating disciples of Shar, especially Viconia DeVir, was likely the best answer, especially if he needed agents that had a chance to retrieve the Astral Prism, given how obsessively Vlaakith likely guarded the device and being a powerful lich, her safeguards would be powerful and many. The Emperor, and by extension the Dead Three and The Absolute would lose nothing.
Heh, irony amirite?
I suspect The Emperor found some means to convince DeVir, under the pretense of Shar's command, to put together a means to steal the Astral Prism. Unfortunately, all the game ever gives us is a list of who was on the strike force, including Shadowheart, who does have the Astral Prism when introduced.
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However, there was always something that bugged me about this part and that is in the notes about the theft. The Dead Three were planning to make the theft themselves, using tadpoled agents and a nautiloid (though giving no indication WHERE they were going) with the assumption that The Emperor was leading the team (believing they controlled him and not the other way around).
This, kinda, explains the 'story' of how Tav and the rest of the characters are tadpoled on the nautiloid together. (The Dark Urge was tadpoled before but that's a whole other thing)
My thoughts?
Ready for more crazy?
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The Emperor manipulates DeVir and the House of Grief into going after the Astral Prism. The Dead Three 'assign' The Emperor to go after the Astral Prism but he simply intends to 'retrieve' (ala kidnap and tadpole) what's left of the Sharran team and collect the Astral Prism for himself. We see the first signs of his duplicity in the opening cinematic, even. Several of the illithid crew are dead before the githyanki kith'rak attack the ship... but there's no indication as to how and why they were killed
(There's some thoughts to be had there)
Interestingly enough, The Emperor planeshifts the nautiloid to Yartar and starts attacking the city, which seems to draw the Githyanki raiders to attacking the ship... then he jumps it to what is (presumably) Cania, the 8th layer of Baator (where the Crown of Karsus had been stolen), then ultimately Avernus before taking shelter in the Astral Prism... which I think man explain why we find Shadowheart's pod seperated from the cauldera room Lae'zel and Tav (Any Origin) start in.
To make a long, lunatic story endless, the Emperor manipulated everything from the day he left The Absolute (his story about leaving The Absolute twice is absolute horseshite), envisioning himself ruling all of the Sword Coast with Baldur's Gate as his 'throne'.
Welp, this went on WAY longer than I expected but I hope it was, at least enjoyable. If folks enjoy my crackpot theories, ah... well, you're welcome to ask me stuff or a pitch. Asks are always open (I think)
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snowychicken · 8 months
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MAYBE THIS IS THE RESULT OF ME FINALLY ACCEPTING
THAT I'LL BE ALONE FOREVER THAT I DESERVE FORGETTING
IT'S A POINTLESS ENDEAVOR AND MAYBE IT'S UPSETTING
BUT I'VE NEVER FELT MORE COMFORTABLE IN THE CONCEPT OF THINGS ENDING
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thomalabars · 1 year
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discovering bears in trees because Tumblr is talking about it a lot and now I feel IDIOT for not knowing it before cause it feel so warm and cosy
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welcometogrouchland · 3 months
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I understand that literature nerd Jason Todd is kind of overblown in fanon compared to it's actual presence in canon (a few issues during his pre (and post?)crisis Robin tenure that highlight it) BUT consider that I think it's hilarious if the unhinged gun toting criminal has strong opinions on poetry
#ramblings of a lunatic#dc comics#Jason Todd#batfamily#it's just a fun quirk! it's a fun lil detail and I simply cannot slight ppl for enjoying and incorporating it into works#like obviously jason isn't the only one. I'm a big believer in the batfam having over lapping interests they refuse to bond over#i know dick canonically used the robin hood stories (which are pretty flowery in their language far as i can tell) as inspo for Robin#and i know babs was a librarian and even tho her area of nerddom is characterized as more computery she probably knows quite a lot-#-about literature as well#duke is a hobbyist writer i believe? i saw a fan mention that- which if so is great and I hope he's also a nerd#(i mean he is canonically. i remember him being a puzzle nerd in his introduction. but i mean specifically a lit nerd)#damian called Shakespeare boring but also took acting classes so i think he's more of a theatre kid.#Tim's a dropout and i don't think he's ever shown distinct interest in english lit and i can't remember for Steph?#I'm ngl my brain hyperfocused on musician Steph i forget some of her other interests I'm sorry (minus softball and gymnastics!)#and then Cass had her whole (non linear but it's whatevs) arc about literacy and learning to read#went from struggling to read in batgirl 00 to memorizing Shakespeare in 'tec and is now an avid read in batgirls!#she's shown reading edgar allen poe but we don't know if it's his short stories or his poems#point to all of the above being: i know Jason's not the only lit nerd in the batfam#but also i do need him to be writing poetry in his spare time and reading and reviewing it#jason at the next dead robins society meeting: evening folks today I'll be assigning all of us poems based on laika the space dog#damian and steph who have been kidnapped and brought to jasons warehouse to hangout: LET US GO BITCH#speaking of^ random poem i think jason would like: space dog by alan shapiro#wake up one morning in an unfamiliar more mature body with a profound sense of abandonment. the last four lines. mmm tasty
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stargazostli · 4 months
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hhrrnrnnggg hermitcraft or traffic series hhrhrngnng doctor who hhhrgnng Grian as the doctor hhrhrggh do you get me???
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three-leafed-clover · 7 months
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day three - bread @nosebleedclub
i went to church with my parents and the pastor was talking about the origins of communion and how jesus broke the bread and said that it was his body. and all i could think about was that someone had to make that bread. someone had to harvest the wheat so they could do it. 
and i remember how my best friend was so convinced when we were teens that she was born alone and that she would die alone. with no one to ever love her. 
at the time, i was very annoyed by this sentiment. i was there, so clearly she was not alone. i was there, and did i not love her?
and presently, i still say no, you’re wrong. your birth involved the pain of your mother. you had doctors, and nurses, who washed you off. you had sisters, and they held you when your mom said it was okay. 
someone made the bread. someone tilled the soil. someone planted the wheat. harvested it. ground it into flour, and made a yeast starter, and fed the chickens so they could have eggs. so many people were involved in making the bread. the body. 
i loved you. i love you. it’s not a great romance, but it’s something. i’m sorry if it’s not enough. 
and even if you don’t die in a house made by other people, even if you die in the middle of the fucking woods somewhere. well. humanity has been around for many centuries on this continent. at minimum, someone else was here too, once.
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mycrowleycalromance · 5 months
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not really sure if this is common sense but for me abba is for the girls and the gays exclusively. and the girls are the gay girls so its for the gay girls and the gays. need i say more?
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littlemissizzy05 · 26 days
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Ik this is my fanfiction blog but imma rant about this dream that I had because I am SICK and TIRED of having this dream.
Ok so, I have this recurring dream, so to speak. The aspect of the dream that always stays the same is that I'm in love with this guy and he loves me too, but there's always something that keeps us apart. Most of the time it's just this unspoken thing that we know about the other's feelings and we're aware that the other knows. EXCEPT, in this dream he confessed... But not out loud.
I don't remember everything about the dream but he was driving me to a hotel because *somebody* was after me and I would be safe at the hotel. In the console was a stack of pieces of paper that I had cut up into like sticky note size for a reason that I can't remember. But, I guess it wasn't actually needed for that purpose so the guy just took to writing me notes on the papers. Most of the notes were just to tease/annoy me but sometimes he would write little reminders or stuff that was meant to make me laugh. Also, it's important to note we seemed to have a playful, bickering type of relationship because we kept bickering throughout the drive.
So, we made a stop on the way to the hotel and he hesitated before writing another note and then shyly giving it to me. I was taken aback by his shy demeanor but looked down to read the note. Only for him to snatch it away from me, but he was too slow. I had read the beginning and it said "I love you always and forever..." He had written like a whole paragraph but he snatched it away before I could read the rest.
He gave me a different note which I didn't bother to read because I knew he was trying to distract me. I shot him an annoyed glare and he handed me back his love confession. I could see how embarrassed he was so to spare him, I decided to read the rest of the note once I got to the hotel. I didn't acknowledge that I read any of his note and he didn't speak either. We ended up driving in silence the rest of the way to the hotel.
When we arrived, he got out the car to hand my bags to the valet and to ensure my safety. I, however, stayed in the car because I was still in shock and my mind was racing. I knew this would be the last time we saw each other for a while and that we'd have no way to communicate while we were separated. He knocked on my door and asked if I was getting out and I told him to give me a moment.
I took the pen and a piece of paper and began to write. I didn't have much time to write so I just wrote a quick little message. He opened his door and sat back in his seat as he asked me what was taking so long, and I just handed him my note.
All I had managed to write was "I love you too". He tried not to react but I saw the way his eyes softened and he fought not to smile. I took both notes that he had given me and put it in my pocket (yes, both, because I kept all the notes he gave me). Then, I smiled at him and left.
I never got to read the rest of the love confession or the other note he gave me as a distraction because I woke up😭
ALSO while I was dreaming, I knew his name and I knew what he looked like. He wasn't faceless. I can't remember his name or his looks now, though💀 When I try to remember, all I can picture is his black hair... I think. I also remember that he was annoyingly charming. Like I thought he was charming and I was annoyed by that fact.
I always forget the guy when I have this type of dream and it's getting really annoying. Also, why can I never get my happily ever after with this guy??? Why is there always something that separates us?
Ok, end of rant. Hope my dream was at least entertaining lol
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