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#ranting at myself
nostalgia-tblr · 1 year
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I had another fic idea and the brain was like "no, that's too fluffy and romantic and YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO WRITE NICE THINGS, PEOPLE WOULD JUDGE YOU" but then I went "but what if it was kind of... comedy fluff?" and brain went "...yeah, okay, if you really must." Which I fucking HATE! Why can't I write nice things, brain?! Everyone else is allowed to! FFS, it's fanfiction, it doesn't have to be ~deep~ or any of that shit!
This has actually been a bit of an issue when I'm trying to write The WIP because while I told myself yeah sure go ahead and write the massively self-indulgent epically long (by my own odd standards) fic but still sometimes I get stuck because I'm not "allowed" to write something that appeals to me and my own sometimes niche interests??
Like angst I can do because that's "proper" somehow? WTF is that about? It's not proper! It's still daft! And comedy I'm allowed because I dunno apparently if it will make someone laugh that means it has "value"? It's very annoying, I don't like it.
Do other people have this? How do you deal with it? You'd think after all this time I'd be okay with writing any old shit that I want to. If anything it might be worse now. I remember years ago I could tell myself "Look, if you've spelled most of it correctly then it's already in like the better half of all the fanfic on the internet" which isn't really TRUE but I could go along with that and let myself write whatever-the-fuck I wanted to.
You know how many of us go "I'll write this fucked up thing... but I'll post it as Anon"? I get that with fluffy fic ideas as well. Or with things that are "too shippy" (WTF?) It's just such a stupid and weird form of self-criticism and it bothers me a lot.
#ranting at myself#writing stuff#possibly this is a mental illness thing but i don't think it is but it might be?#i am Quite Mad but it usually manifests related to fic as the usual “you suck!!” or irritating OCD things about wordcounts or such#this is a VERY SPECIFIC thing and i don't even know where it came from?#maybe i'm just pretentious? do i look pretentious? i might be?#(the fluffy thing was sylki fic where spinning off on the 'oh no unable to express feelings!' they have to pass each other notes)#(the comedy element was that this is Bloody Stupid and also Mobius attempts to Help (oh no) and etc)#(will i ever be able/“allowed” to actually write that thing? dunno!)#the Frigga thing also suffers from “that bit is despicably adorable you should be ASHAMED of yourself”#.The WIP? currently stuck at “okay now he needs to Hold The Baby. this is an important bit you can't skip it. but babies are Too Twee”#“so you may NOT just write someone Holding The Baby because that's like something people might actually want to read!”#“the murders are fine you can write murders. murder isn't twee. babies are VERY twee though.”#PROBLEM: there are several babies in this fic and the next chapter is like... ENTIRELY baby-based#(the end of the entire fic is already written and it's Too Twee as well but i've kind of gone immune to that because it's existed a while)#(oh no did i just spoiler a Happy Ending?!)#(SPOILER: kind of. it depends who you backed in this race and whether you wanted them to Become Better People)#anyway am gonna post this now before i change my mind as i probably should#fic related
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Because I got a fan club presale code, I requested a GA floor ticket for U2 at the Sphere on one of the October dates. I really don't even want to go, but I'm compulsive? You send me code, I use code. I'd intended to live my entire life without setting foot in Las Vegas (if you live there, no offense, I'm sure you're a lovely person) but now I'm like: What if I actually snag this ticket? Then what? I have to get a room and a flight? Ugh. The money. But it's almost my birthday at that point? NO. SHUT UP PEEJ YOU ARE NOT GOING TO VEGAS.
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a scribbling in my notebook from today
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catmask · 5 months
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when u go to write a mentally ill person in ur story you are presented two options. the first option is to write your mental illness realistically as you actually experience it with all the ups and downs and people who are like you will resonate with it and feel seen. except every person who reads instagram infographics on mental health that uses the phrase narcicisst for anyone who does anything that crosses them and unironically call themself a dark empath will call you scary and tell you that youre demonizing mentally ill people
the second option is to lie and write inspiration porn for those people to get hard to
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whatafuckinnerd · 4 months
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I find it unfathomable and astounding that Tumblr isn't more obsessed with Sam Reich. You're telling me there exists out there a man who was born into the aristocracy of our country—with every privilege of modern society at his fingertips—who didn't complete high school (due to his mental health) and instead chose to devote his life to making strangers laugh and raising awareness on mental health. A full-bearded short king who is so committed to being the change he wants to see in the world that he decided to take the company he worked for into his own hands so that he could make sure all the people who worked under him could keep their livelihoods.
How many other CEOs are out here being as honest and transparent with their target audience/market as Sam Reich is? How many of them acknowledge when they fumble and continuously strive to be better than they were? How many of them actually seem like they respect their talent, both in the cast and crew? Sam Reich is the standard we should be holding other CEOs to.
But forget about all that (I could talk for a long time about the respect I have for Sam Reich)—ignore just how respectable he is as a businessman and a person. Ignore all the wholesome reasons for obsessing over Sam Dalton Reich.
The man is a stone-cold fox.
He's a little chaos gremlin and an absolute evil mastermind all rolled into one classy suit and well-groomed beard. Whenever Sam is on the set, you can guarantee he is going to make you crack a smile. And for someone with such natural authority, he's never afraid to be the butt of a joke and show himself being embarrassed. Go ahead, watch any clip of him trying to improvise in No Laugh Newsroom and just try to resist that blush.
You're sleeping on a goldmine of a man, here, damnit! And I will NOT let this go ignored any longer!
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anoworexic · 8 days
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imagine looking in the mirror in a couple months and not recognizing yourself. the amount of weight you lost in so little time is insane. you put in the work and it paid off. best feeling
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ireonic · 2 months
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Me: how do I study as a neurodivergent person?
Google: how to help your autistic child study
Me: how to study as an autistic adult/teen
Google: teachers guide to how to deal with autistic children
Me: how do I study as an autistic teen/adult
Google: study tips for autistic people(-written by this allistic man that will talk about autistic people like they're zoo animals)
Me: how to study as a neurodivergent adult, tips from neurodivergent person to neurodivergent students, on how to study independently as an autistic person, no reliant support needed
Google: high functioning autism and school
Me: fuck just. How do I focus during this test that I'm in rn as an AuDHD person
Google: ok, so, to focus on this thing that you currently are doing and need to get done TODAY; weeks before the test you'll need to eat healthy and exercise, meditate, study, set timers, take breaks, drink water, sleep, find the secrets to a happy life, adopt five children, sacrifice a goat, take short showers, brush your teeth
Executive dysfunction:
My fucking deadline:
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eating breakfast feels gross i dunno why people do it
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miitopia-cake · 4 months
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I wish some aces would stop excluding other aces with complex sexual experiences. like I get why but you have to realize that being ace does not mean they don't enjoy sexual experiences and it's weird when you complain about allo people and boil it down to "people who have sexual experiences" and also shame people for their sex life and kinks as if your own community doesnt INCLUDE those people. because there are other aces out there who still masturbate, who feel sexually attracted to their own body, who barely experiences sexual attraction but still enjoys sex, who like consuming sexual media, who like sfw kink. being ace is so so much more complex than just "disliking sex". and also aromantic exclusionism in the same genre of posts is something i see a lot. especially aro allos. I hate hate hate seeing a community that SHOULD be inclusive boil down sexuality and exclude people.
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caloriesiren · 6 months
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Why?
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xx-sketchy-xx · 5 months
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*grumble grumble* my photos are being annoying
LOOK AT THE COOL DUDES, I feel like Jax would try and make Wally commit as many crimes as possible with his eye eating powers
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aconfusedkitten · 2 months
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okay, as someone on both the ace and aro spectrums, there is nothing wrong with shipping aroace characters.
it is a Spectrum, and just like there are sex favorable aces, sex neutral ones, and sex averse ones (or people like myself who are somewhere in between!), there is more than one way to identify as aro. for fucks sake, please stop harassing people in fandom for shipping things because it doesn't fit your definition of what being aroace means.
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moth-nocturna · 1 year
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dumping south park sketches lol
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catsvsgoldfish · 24 days
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Fatspo is NEVER acceptable.
posting ANYONES body in a negative context (AND without consent) is horrible and cruel. it isn’t cool, it isn’t motivational, and there is no excuse for it.
dragging people down is childish. no exceptions.
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coulsart · 6 months
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@venomous-qwille The opulence! The excess!
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anoworexic · 5 days
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if the people around me aren't worried then i'm doing something wrong.
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