#rather than saying this happened to me as a child and im forever a victim and i need drugs to forget about it

[909th]

the way this is literally why i had to quit therapy lmao

[ectonurites]

My least favorite type of fic!Tim is when he’s portrayed as depressed/very mentally and emotionally unstable, but also at the same time as someone who is like lauded as being super dangerous/the most skilled or something like that?? Those fics where Tim is chugging caffeine and barely sleeping, but characters are still like “oh I wouldn’t wanna piss off Tim he is Dangerous” and that’s annoying enough but then there are fics that at the same time as that portray him as like on the edge of a breakdown. It’s very irritating even if I’m not sure I can articulate exactly why, it just really rubs me the wrong way. Like, I definitely do think Tim has some issues with depression and stuff, but in fics like those it’s treated more like a quirk sort of instead of a serious issue

LMAOO I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT i’m not a fan of that either. I’m apologizing in advance if I sound mean in any of this critique i’m about to give of that fanon version of him. I want to preface this by saying that people can write whatever the hell they want, like, they’re allowed to! And I’m not referencing/calling out any specific works here. Just trends. But I’m gonna bitch about some things I’ve noticed that annoy me, personally. (so again, not saying other people can’t enjoy this stuff! just. not for me)

so like sorry if im mean but this is just me ranting and also this is my blog anyways so:

(nobody take this as an attack on them please because it’s really not)

The problem is a lot of those fics seem to interpret Tim’s behavior in Red Robin (& especially like that last whole arc of his Robin run also by FabNic) as if that’s his normal, rather than the result of a few years of CONSTANT traumatic incidents pushing him to a breaking point (because while all the shit he went through with his Dad, Steph, Kon, Bart, and then Bruce dying was spread out over several years for us as readers, it’s regarded as like within two years in canon! It all happens when he’s 16 and 17. According to the Batman comic right after War Games, Jack was murdered only days after Steph died.

(Batman #634)

That’s a LOT to process for one kid jesus christ) 

I love Red Robin honestly, I do, but it is about Tim at the lowest points in his life. It’s the grand finale of Tim’s story, and everything crumbles, that’s kinda the point! The end leaves him in a position to either rebuild himself or fall apart. It’s all about how he chooses to continue after this point!

(Red Robin #26)

The way he acts and the things he does in that comic should be regarded as such. He can’t live the way he does in Red Robin forever or he will literally burn himself out/become something unrecognizable, like, jesus it’s kinda even acknowledged in the comic when he thinks about what his potential futures would be if he keeps it up like he’s doing:

(Red Robin #25)

He sees himself as dead, as Batman (which he has countless times said he doesn’t want to be and at this point in his history almost every time he’s seen a future he became Batman in he had become a killer), or needing to retire and taking over an Oracle-esque role, likely because he exerted himself too much to continue. 

When you look at him around this same timeframe when he’s not isolating himself/too deep into the mission and is instead working with his friends back on the Titans, you can see that he is starting to heal and work in a more positive direction. He’s choosing to work on coming out of this rough period by being together with his friends who he loves.

(Teen Titans (2003) #100)

Not to say that you can’t write about situations in which he doesn’t start to come out of it, but if you are doing so it’s something you should be taking seriously because that’s the idea you want to explore, not just acting like it’s perfectly okay or normal? (And again, there are a lot of works that do explore it in good ways, there’s just also a LOT that don’t)

Like, so much content I see just make any sadness and depression and tendency to over-work himself that’s rooted in his traumas (which! those do have a basis in canon!) into a quirky personality trait rather than a response to trauma. Acting as if he’s always been this way and it’s normal for him. That’s what bothers me. If people want to seriously explore the effects of all these incidents and how that plays into his ability to do his job as a hero, then hell yes do it! But when it all gets brushed off as ‘oh thats just tim, he just doesnt eat or sleep or feel any happiness but like its fine he’s just always been like that’ I feel my blood boil. 

This also often strikes me as related/tied to fanon’s seemingly never-ending quest to make Tim into this victim of so many things he really wasn’t. They make his childhood 10x worse than it actually was (yes he was lonely because he was sent to boarding schools rather than having his parents around, but he was NOT just left home alone all the time as a child. 

(Batman #441)

He snuck away during a school vacation week to follow Bruce one (1) time and to then track down Dick. This is established in his introduction story! PLEASE read Lonely Place of Dying!) and it just... going with those fanon assumptions as being true changes so much of how people characterize him! 

Some people will also (not to call out tim/kon shippers especially because I  literally am also one but) vilify the shit out of Steph and make their relationship out to be some abusive thing rather than just... a messy teen relationship between vigilantes because they had really complicated lives and baggage with one another? Which they both acknowledge they made mistakes in!

(Red Robin #10)

Or people will vilify the shit out of Dick in regards to the situation at the start of Red Robin, or literally just make anyone who Tim ever had a disagreement with out to be the bad guy despite the actual situations always being way more complex and multi-faceted than that.

And then on top of all that, aside from making him into this ‘im broken 24/7 and not doing anything to fix it also everyone around me is terrible to me’ type of character, because he’s a lot of people’s favorite, they also want him to be as cool and strong as he is at his high points. So they’re projecting all this stuff onto him that makes him what should be a barely functioning person but then also act like that’s fine and he’s able to be a dangerous badass on top of it. 

Like I’m sorry but someone who is going out and actively acting as a vigilante like that which is incredibly physically taxing is NOT surviving on coffee alone and no sleep. That’s literally not possible, he’d fucking collapse. (And like, again, if you want to explore him pushing himself to that point, that’s one thing! but acting like he can manage all of that for more than a few days at a time/maybe while working on one really tough case is nuts!) and like, even canon can be a little guilty of this type of thing particularly since the New 52 (Detective Comics 2016 had more than a few references to him barely sleeping, but at least they also made references to him eating normally/healthily and he wasn’t completely self isolating or anything) (and also that comic had him be so self sacrificial he was ready to die to save everyone and only didn’t die because of Mr.Oz’s interference, he’s definitely not in his best place there) but usually it’s still within some realm of possibility.

Also like. The fanon ‘chugging coffee to survive thing’ just annoys the shit out of me because, like, yes there’s a few moments in canon where he’s under a lot of pressure and pushing himself further than he normally would and had some coffee (one of the only times I can even remember him having it on panel is... oh... during that last Robin arc I just mentioned a little while ago shouldn’t be where you source your normal characterization of him because it’s a very difficult situation that pushes him further than he normally would go! huh!) But the thing is like, people play it off for laughs, or like it’s a normal thing he would do at any time in his life! If you want to explore him pushing himself and using coffee as a crutch, like, there’s ways you can write it that takes it seriously, but almost every time I see it come up in fics it is like a core part of his personality and just ‘oh haha silly tim always with his entire pot of coffee he must chug every morning or he’ll die :^)’ And that bothers the hell out of me. 

In general it’s just... people treat Tim so weird. They want him to be so many different things that he’s shown himself to be at different times for very specific reasons, except they want him to do all of it at the same time which just doesn’t work. A person can’t function like that, and it’s not even close to who he is in canon. 

Again, people can do what they want, and this is just my opinion obviously, but yeah. My two cents on the matter.  Read Lonely Place of Dying, read Young Justice, read his Robin run. Read his comics and get a feel for who he was before all the rest of his trauma, and see how he canonically reacts to it along the way. I know reading comics can be tough for some people but so much stuff just echo chambers and becomes barely recognizable in this fandom and it’s just... a shame when it happens with a character ya love. 

[alexanderpusheen]

what frustrates me the most abt this china narrative is that the US created al qaeda and ISIS, those groups are recruiting and causing terrorism in xinjiang, china has been trying to handle the situation with re-education programs often suggested by westerners, and its still being treated as this major human rights violation. there are actually dozens of countries with several robust anti radicalization programs that are just as strict, like singapore, colombia, yemen, bangladesh, saudi arabia, and indonesia. this paper ive linked to was even funded by the DHS so like...why has detaining someone and basically reverse brainwashing them out of being a terrorist been so acceptable for so long but now its an issue? 

if you take issue with chinas program, you have to prove its somehow exceptional to these other programs. since we really dont have any way of knowing what is truth or reality thanks to the enormous disinformation campaign going on, you fucking cant. we dont even know what the programs entail because even googling it gets you exclusively hyperbolic concentration camp accusations. 

what i will say is that relations between the han majority and the uyghur minority have been strained since at least the 80s. link is the notoriously conservative and pro US intervention human rights watch, so dont say im using pro commie sources or anything. every time i do any bit of research on this i seem to find an attempt from major news outlets in the early to mid 2000s or late 20-teens to prove this all started or became dramatically worse now, but things have always been tense. and its not really a surprise that things really got bad after the collapse of the soviet union, an event that was geographically close to china and the xinjiang region and also just like, a fucking major global event in general.

what i find to be very odd is just how dramatically the narrative has changed. the diplomat, one of my favorite periodicals, went from taking very nuanced and balanced positions on xinjiang that i almost completely agreed with to being just as aggressive as outlets like the BBC and CNN in the span of five years. they have eleven pages worth of articles on xinjiang, mostly covering the terrorism and beijings response (which i agree is too harsh) and xinjiang muslims’ relationships to the greater muslim world. 

an example is how this article talks about the conflict at the time which warns of escalating violence as a result of han chauvinism and beijing being unable to deal with the extremism holistically. it points out how there were uyghurs captured among taliban ranks in afghanistan and how many might have even been working with ISIL.

The threat will not be an existential one to the Chinese state, as most Uighurs would prefer a peaceful accommodation. But even if only 1 percent of Uighurs hold extreme views, there are 10 million in Xinjiang and even for a state security apparatus as formidable as China’s, 100,000 or more angry people present a tough challenge.

i think its totally right that china does not allow people in that area to have cars, woodcutting tools, and amonium nitrate (which is used in bombs) is very strictly regulated. i completely agree that this is not how you combat terrorism. most people do not want war and broadly punishing these people is itself a human rights violation that went unnoticed until now.

however, in that same year, the diplomat also published this article about the infamous turkestan islamic party. members of TIP are like, literal jihadists lmfao.

TIP fighters call on the world’s Muslims to join the jihad against Western countries in internet videos. Perhaps most worringly for China, the TIP believes that Muslims may fight locally using various means instead of coming to Syria and Iraq to conduct a “holy war” against the “infidel” Western regimes.  

yeah i definitely want to hear more about what these guys have to say. the article is really good because i think it highly illustrates just how dangerous these people are. theyve killed hundreds of people across china and want to establish a fascist religious state in xinjiang. while the article speaks for itself, i believe the last paragraph really highlights why china is being singled out whereas countries like france and canada are considered allies to muslims for whatever reason:

However, as experience has shown, China takes a passive position in the struggle against global Islamic jihad in Syria and Iraq. Beijing has not sent its troops to the Middle East to fight ISIS and has instead confined itself to diplomatic support for Russia and the United States. The Chinese government uses the attacks of Islamic jihadists to persuade Western countries to support Beijing’s position on Xinjiang and turn a blind eye when the freedom and rights of Uyghurs are harshly suppressed by Chinese security forces. Therefore, China is not perceived by the West as a reliable partner in the fight against terrorism. [emphasis mine]

im just a little surprised to see that a lot of these violent attacks from extremists throughout the years have targeted not just han chinese but also other uyghurs. in the west people do not typically sympathize with terrorists as freedom fighters, even on the left, because we know that no matter how angry or how seemingly justified the violence might seem, terrorism is unacceptable and it grossly misrepresents islam. it is a fascist act because those terrorists often follow an extremely right wing version of islam. also, we know that those who carry out terrorist attacks even outside of the west are middle class and professionals in some way, not poor and marginalized people. the level of nuance afforded to terrorists outside of xinjiang is pretty staggering. 

yet in china, there seems to be this excitement than they are killing chinese people, even if some of those chinese are other uyghers or otherwise muslims. those who carry out attacks in xinjiang dont get any nuance or analysis because theyre justified.

ive referenced the diplomat earlier but this article from 2013 says it perfectly: Call Tiananmen Attack What It Was: Terrorism. except terrorism is bad. and the west wants you to support the uyghurs. and make no mistake, they do not want you to support the millions of uyghurs who want to live peacefully, free of any repression, american or chinese. they want you to support the jihadists randomly blowing up chinese and tourists alike because you are meant to sympathize with their plight.

terrorism isnt something to be romantacized or cheered on. it is something someone or someones do when they feel they have no other option. people do not want to kill even those they feel they have every right to because thats a line you cant uncross. murder changes you, justified or not. see the last chapter of wretched of the earth for this.

terrorism is great, however, for destabilizing a region or a country, and xinjiang is resource-rich. establishing a US-friendly regime, no matter how good they are on human rights, is the goal. the US does not care about muslims. they do not care about human rights. china, also, does not really seem to care about muslims or human rights either. but we’ve seen this since vietnam, and the US has learned since vietnam. the vietnamese were sympathetic. they were minding their business. 

after vietnam, merely being communist isnt enough to warrant invasion. theyre killing their own people. nevermind that bolsonaro kills his own people and no one wants to invade (yet--biden has mention sanctions wrt us which is scary but again, thats got everything to do with making sure latin america is loyal to the west, not HR offenses). korea, although it was before vietnam, was less publicized and learning from vietnam gave the US a valuable lesson: always blame the victim. and thus, the US blames the victims of its violence. even if its ‘justified’, even if its ‘true,’ as was the case with saddam hussein, invading and occupying was the nightmare no one but the imperialists anticipated. because they dont broadcast what occupying forces do to the occupied. i am old enough to remember abu ghraib. have it seared in my memory forever. you perhaps are also old enough to remember, but also think millions of abu ghraibs and guantanamo bays are always worth it, always justified. 

i know people arent going to read this and remind me really rudely that they didnt read it but i want to really emphasize how one of imperialism and colonialisms features is ethnic and racial separatism. how the rwandan genocide couldnt have happened without previous belgian and french rule. how yugoslavia wouldve remained a single country had it not been for NATO. i think its easy to diminish the role of the colonizer in all of this, but it is actually one of its goals: divide and conquer. exacerbate the existing conflicts to the point of genocide. 

and if the west succeeds in balkanizing china, you will get more racism rather than less. you will see more violence against muslim minorities rather than less. they will feel less empowered rather than more. china has to learn that they are also to blame in a way that will be catastrophic for over a billion people. han chauvinism and outright racism must be addressed beyond window dressing.

wrapping up, china is in the wrong here. what theyre doing is racist and humiliating a population that has to be empowered. and the one child rule, even for the han majority, is imo fucking evil lol like sorry tankie tumblr im tankie too but i cannot for the life of me accept that as a good thing.... but i also dont buy the accusations of genocide, because even tho a lot of these articles are kind of glossing over it, china is trying to handle the terrorism in the region. imo theyre feeding into it by getting more han in the area, but also having more han but forcing them to take worse jobs would be a show of good will. idk, this situation is extremely complex and frankly, most uyghers do not want secession. 

i also take extreme issue with people saying that adrian zenz is somehow reliable. not only is he a nazi crackpot, hes also literally the only source for almost all of what we know about this in the west. that is not how you do journalism. i dont understand how people are saying ‘yeah hes an extremely fascist grifter but also i believe him because hes anti communist and also anti china’. thats also not really the point? the point is that hes also the ONLY SOURCE on almost all of this, which is alarming. 

i also find it very startling that in order to keep interest in the story, every few weeks the US has to remind people that the chinese are also doing what the US is doing to women in its own camps. forget that the US is separating minors from parents (since 2008). forget that the US is sterilizing women en masse (since 2017). forget that the US is raping women at the border (since there was a border). forget the US even has camps because now they arent even called that anymore. this is not that ‘you can be angry at two things at once’ but a clearly cynical attempt to get its citizens to forget that the US is detaining, deporting, sterilizing, and raping, and gassing non US nationals. 

they are not ‘your own people.’ they are me. the other. i am an immigrant to the US, currently in my country of birth, so i am the other to you, the american. the chinese are doing the evil crime of killing their own. but the americans could never kill their own because they dont consider black americans to be their own. latin american nationals are not their own. bombing millions globally is not their own. thats always justifiable. there is clearly an element of racism in how these crimes are perceived as more or less evil.

the way immigrants and black americans are brutalized in the US is almost naturalized. like its the way things are supposed to be. you can live with that. its upsetting that you have to hear about antiblackness and the like but you know thats just how life is. you dont necessarily call for the US to be sanctioned or bombed by other countries because you believe in the inherent goodness of white america. but countries like china and iran and north korea deserve to be starved and killed for their crimes. and you can never say ‘maybe bombing and starving a country isnt the answer’ because it means you agree with it. you can never say ‘this is clearly propaganda to make me hate another race so much’ because it means youre a genocide denier. im sorry, but again, i remember iraq in 2003, i remember libya in 2011. i dont buy it.

finally, theres been a lot of attacks on asian people in the US lately and if you cannot see the violent way the US talks about china the country and how that influences people to harm asians within the US then idk what else to tell you. people will really believe this shit and say the chinese are all blood thirsty islamaphobes and thus need to be harmed. ‘im not like that! i defend my asian friends from racism!’ thats nice and all but idk how spreading some sinophobic propaganda designed by the US to make you support some kind of violence against one billion chinese people isnt inherently racist. also its unhelpful because sanctions dont really solve problems. but ive spoken too much.

[idkmybffpotter]

HP Fic Rec List

Yooooooooo. Ive finally gotten started on making a fic rec list (Im so bad at remembering to save the fics I love).

Here is the start of it! Warning: Most of these fics are epic length, 250k+words. Enjoy!!!

Ps. Please feel free to DM me to talk about any of these! Id love to hear your thoughts!

DRARRY

***Life Cycle Series by WIndseeker2305. https://archiveofourown.org/series/21657

1,402,781 words. #Creatures #Soulmates  #Mpreg, #Abandoned in 3rd book

After a summer of torture with the Dursleys, Harry falls into a self induced magical coma. Draco-who holds a hidden torch for him-jumps in to help. There they meet and decide many things that could very well change the Wizarding World forever.

 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Literally my fav story ive ever read everrrr.

***Turn by Saras_Girl https://archiveofourown.org/works/879852/chapters/1692695

306,708 words #Alternate Reality

 ***Leo Inter Serpentes by Aeternum https://archiveofourown.org/series/53590

746,048 words #Complete Series Rewrite #Slytherin Harry

Just one conversation between two eleven year old boys goes slightly differently, and the world changes. Just how much will be different with Harry being sorted into Slytherin, and how much will stay the same?

 ***Saving Connor Series by Lightning on The Wave https://www.fanfiction.net/u/895946/Lightning-on-the-Wave

3,069,375 words

Harry's twin Connor is the Boy Who Lived, and Harry is devoted to protecting him by making himself look ordinary. But certain people won't let Harry stay in the shadows...

 ***Survival is a Talent by ShanaStoryteller https://archiveofourown.org/works/12006417/chapters/27167826

338,714+words #WIP #soulmates #POC

In the middle of their second year, Draco and Harry discover they're soulmates and do their best to keep it a secret from everyone. Their best isn't perfect.

 ***Freedom To Be by Quicksilvermaid https://archiveofourown.org/works/16052705/chapters/37477826

169, 550words #COMPLETE #BDSM

Harry Potter is the Boy Who Lived.12 years after the war, he's become the Boy Who Lived For Everyone Else. He has the perfect wife. The perfect house. The perfect job. The perfect friends.Only nothing feels perfect.Until one day he stumbles across a club called Release and begins a journey of self-discovery that takes him to a very different place.

 ***Brother to Basilisks by Lomonaaeren https://archiveofourown.org/works/2435531/chapters/5393471

595,688+ words AU of PoA. Harry wakes in the night to a voice calling him from somewhere in the castle—and when he follows it, everything changes

 ***Reparations by Saras_Girl https://archiveofourown.org/works/879599/chapters/1692075

87,376 words #Healer Harry

Harry is about to discover that the steepest learning curve comes after Healer training, and that second chances can be found in unexpected places.

 ***Secrets by Vorabiza https://archiveofourown.org/works/8184311/chapters/18751001

395,365 words Beginning with Draco's unexpected arrival at the Dursleys, Harry's summer after sixth year becomes filled with activity and many secrets. As his summer progresses, Harry generates several unexpected allies as he finds himself actively becoming the leader of the Light side.

 ***Being a Veelas Mate by Chereche https://archiveofourown.org/works/7524595/chapters/17103607

399,867words Draco comes into his veela nature early when his mate's life is in danger. Will their unique bond be enough to finally bring peace to the wizarding world?

 ***All Life is Your to Miss by Saras_Girl https://archiveofourown.org/works/825875/chapters/1568057

114,741words #Professor Harry

Professor Malfoy's world is contained, controlled, and as solitary as he can make it, but when an act of petty revenge goes horribly awry, he and his trusty six-legged friend are thrown into Hogwarts life at the deep end and must learn to live, love and let go.

  ***Twist of Fate by Oakstone730 https://archiveofourown.org/works/473335/chapters/819506

302,209 words Draco asks Harry to help him beat the Imperius curse during 4th year. The lessons turn into more than either expected. A story of redemption and forgiveness

 HINNY

***A Second Chance by Breanie https://archiveofourown.org/works/16237082/chapters/37957664

1,714,567 words #WIP

What if Sirius didn't spent twelve years in prison, but was given a trial after four years? Follow the story of Sirius Black as he learns what it means to be a father/brother/guardian to his young godson & the story of Harry Potter, a young boy with a loving home who learns about the Marauders from the two men who should have raised him. M for later. Eventual Hinny.

 JEDDY

***Couldn’t Get Better They Say by JadePresley https://archiveofourown.org/works/14119629/chapters/32535660

78,611 words #NoMagic #TextingFic

A boy texts the wrong number late one night. Another boy replies. Chaos ensues. Or, The one where James is too caught up in his career to be the person he wants to be, Teddy drinks too much to avoid his past, Albus wears terrible hats, Lily is a badass, and Gavin is the star of the show.

 ***Chances by TheProdigyPenguin https://archiveofourown.org/works/21166652/chapters/50379941

78,761words #COMPLETE

Teddy has lived in France with his grandmother for his entire life, living unaware of his past or the significance of his parent's lives, cut short at the end of the war. He lives blissfully ignorant of the life he was meant to have in England, until his grandmother dies shortly after his twenty-seventh birthday, and the discovery of letters written by an estranged godfather he never knew he had leads him back to his families home, searching for answers but in the end finding more than he'd ever expected or hoped.

 SCORBUS

***Its Tea Time by Ellizablue https://archiveofourown.org/series/538465

872,002+ #WIP #Trilogy

 SEVERITUS

***Blood by Lord of Chaos https://archiveofourown.org/works/3089927/chapters/6696266

466,835words Harry's sent reeling when he learns that Professor Snape is his bio dad, and if that were all he had to deal with, he'd probably be all right, but he's got werewolves, escaped convicts, a stubborn Dark Lord, and his own inner demons to deal with. Starts third year. Rating mostly for violence. Story deals with mental health, bigotry and child abuse. 

 ***Digging for bones by paganaidd https://archiveofourown.org/works/598019/chapters/1078847

203,178 words

Rather than allowing Harry to stay at Diagon Alley after he blew up Aunt Marge, the Ministry sends Harry back to the Dursleys. Harry returns to school after a terrible summer, to find that he's not the only one with this kind of secret. A student has been killed by his family. New screening measures are put into place by the Ministry: Every student must be given a medical exam and interview to look for child abuse. With Dumbledore facing an inquiry, Snape is entrusted with the task of making sure EVERYONE receives one.

 ***Broken Mind Series by SensiblyTainted https://archiveofourown.org/works/8873683/chapters/20344381

864,245 words #Mental Health Issues #Multiple Personaity Disorder #Abuse

Harry Potter watched his mother die when he was fifteen months old, a piece of Voldemort's soul invaded his own, Vernon abused him, Petunia tore him to shreds with her hateful words, and Lockhart molested him throughout Second-year. After all that trauma, is it any wonder Harry created multiple personalities to deal with it all? In Harry's third year, Severus Snape decides to do something about it. He gives Harry therapy in secret, and this opens Harry up to a friendship with Neville Longbottom, another victim of Lockhart's perversions, and Draco Malfoy who can understand Harry's Slytherin alter better than anyone else.

 ***A Year Like None Other by aspeninthesunlight https://archiveofourown.org/works/742072/chapters/1382061

789,589 words

A letter from home? A letter from family? Well, Harry Potter knows he has neither, but all the same, it starts with a letter from Surrey. Whatever the Durleys have to say, it can't be anything good, so Harry's determined to ignore it. But then, his evil schoolmate rival spots the letter and his slimy excuse for a teacher intercepts it and forces him to read it. And that sends Harry down a path he'd never have walked on his own.

 SNARRY

***Gift of Kindness by Hippocrates460 https://archiveofourown.org/works/14656377/chapters/33859731

105,872words #COMPLETE #soulmates #courting rituals

When Harry arrives at Hogwarts, everything is overwhelming. Luckily he makes some friends, Hagrid who took him to Diagon Alley, Ron who he met on the train, and Severus, who explains why they have to pretend to hate each other. This story spans 7 years, during which Severus and Harry get to know each other and find understanding.

 TOMARRY

***Descent into Darkness by Athey https://www.wattpad.com/story/179650625-harry-potter-and-the-descent-into-darkness

https://www.wattpad.com/684682449-harry-potter-and-the-breeding-darkness-prologue

It's Harry's 4th year at Hogwarts and his name has just come out of the Goblet of Fire. Everyone has abandoned him and he feels utterly alone. Through an accident Harry and the piece of Voldemort's soul that resides inside him begin to interact and Harry slowly begins to change. He becomes stronger and more aware, and slowly grows aware of a more sinister course of events that has perpetuated his entire life.

 WOLFSTAR

***Sweater weather by lumosinlove

74,493words+ #WIP #NoMagicAU Remus works for the Gryffindor Lions as a physical trainer, and has been half in love with Sirius Black, the Lions' heartthrob captain, for a while now, but he never expected Sirius to return the feelings. Read if you like cute nicknames, slow burn, and pining. Yep. That's it.

***Soltnse by lumosinlove https://archiveofourown.org/works/17186087/chapters/40408559

61,997 words #COMPLETE #NoMagicAU Sirius, a young Russian billionaire hires Remus, who is working part time as a call boy to make ends meet. Things happen, feelings occur

.

***Text Talk by merlywhirls https://archiveofourown.org/works/1651109/chapters/3501239

141,250 words #NoMagicAU

Sirius is in boarding school, Remus is in hospital, and they don't know each other until Sirius texts the wrong number.

 ***Casting Moonshadows by moonsign https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3378356/1/Casting-Moonshadows

393,500 words #WIP #ANGST

Lonely and outcast by his classmates, Remus wishes on a moonshadow for a friend who understands him. To his amazement his wish is not only answered once, but three times by his former enemies, the Marauders.

 ***Of Leaves and Stars by irrationalmoony, lady amina https://archiveofourown.org/works/6535114/chapters/14950924

266,476words #Texting Fic #WIP

Almost a year out of Hogwarts, Lily finally manages to convince Sirius and James to get more acquainted with muggle technology and buy phones. Sirius, of course, texts the wrong number.

  RANDOM PAIRINGS

Harry/Sirius/Remus:

 ***To See The Human Soul Take Wing by Maeglin Yedi 227,394 words

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1007970/chapters/1999281

#Werewolf Harry #Friendly Vampires This is actually the 3rd

book in the series, but it can be read as a standalone.

Harry's final year at Hogwarts is filled with secrets, old enemies and new threats. Unable to share his current life with his friends, Harry has to put his faith in the unlikeliest of allies to find a way to defeat Voldemort while his love for Sirius and Remus is repeatedly put to the test.

   Hermione/Sirius

***Debt of Time by Shayalonnie

https://archiveofourown.org/series/760443

715,940 words #COMPLETE #Time Travel

When Hermione finds a way to bring Sirius back from the veil, her actions change the rest of the war. Little does she know her spell restoring him to life provokes magic she doesn't understand and sets her on a path that ends with a Time-Turner.

  Severus Snape/OMC

*** Of A Linear Circle by flamethrower

https://archiveofourown.org/series/755028

1,428,885words #WIP #Long Series #Time Travel

In September of 1971, Severus Snape finds a forgotten portrait of the Slytherin family in a dark corner of the Slytherin Common Room. At the time, he has no idea that talking portrait will affect the rest of his life.

  Harry/Theo/Charlie/OMCs

***There Be Dragons Harry by Scioneeris

https://archiveofourown.org/works/485605/chapters/845701

919,721words #WIP #Creature Inheritance

Harem!Fic Harry inherits a creature "thing" from both sides of his parents and somehow that leads to weird sleeping habits, conversations with Theodore Nott and finding himself caught up in a world of Dragons, elemental powers and new creatures he's never heard of before. Dragons? Mates? Very AU. Contains all kinds of slash.

  Scorpius/Rose 

 ***Ignite by Slide (JustSlide)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/6470272/chapters/14810293

191,497 words

A mysterious illness leaving a handful of uninfected. A school in quarantine, isolated from the outside world. Danger on all sides, striking seemingly at random. And, at the heart of it all, Scorpius Malfoy, the only man to believe this is a part of a wider, dangerous plot

  ***Raindrops on Roses by backinyourbox

https://archiveofourown.org/works/373224/chapters/608435

301,383 words

Beginning immediately after the Epilogue, this story follows Scorpius, Rose and Albus through their Hogwarts years and beyond. Childish fears and desires soon turn to more serious dilemmas as some members of the Ravenclaw trio are forced to grow up too soon. Albus wants to be remembered for being something other than Harry Potter's son. Scorpius knows his father expects him to follow in his footsteps, but how long can he keep his friends, his music and his OWL in Muggle Studies a secret? And Rose has yet to decide what she wants...

  Harry Potter/George Weasley Looking Beyond by Shini_amaryllis

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3178778/chapters/6905645

674,719 #COMPLETE #FEM!Harry

The first thing everyone noticed about Hope Potter was that she may have had her mother's face, but she had her father's penchant for causing trouble or somehow finding it. It only made sense that she would fall for a prankster, and it only made sense that danger was attracted to her very scent. Somehow, she was going to prove she was more than just the Girl-Who-Lived

  Harry Potter/Avengers Crossover

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1369690/chapters/2902480

324570 #Loki is Harrys Dad #Just Read it I promise its great

In the several millennia he had existed Loki Odinson, Norse God of Mischief and Lies, had been many things, he had been a liar, a warrior, and a trickster, just to name a few, but never before, in his thousands of years of existence had he been a loving father, but all it took was a single glance at the perfect little creature before him and he knew, he was gone.

[yangyeet]

Is This Heaven (Final)

Pairing: Jaemin x Reader (ft. friends!Jisung & Donghyuck)

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Status: Finished! Preview Here; Part 1 Here; Part 2 Here!

Prompt: In a world where people have their soulmate's name on their body somewhere, you find yourself caught in a dilemma that would result in a whirlwind of events. Are you ready to face this challenge in a world known to be cruel? Will you find your heaven in a place where people refuse to follow their hearts? Or will you fall as a victim to the legend?

Warnings: character death im sorry in advance

Word Count: 6.6K

Jaemin. Na Jaemin. That was the name of the person who had entered your life like a hurricane and left you on the edge of your seat, eager for more. He certainly was a whirlwind of a person. In under 24 hours of learning about his existence, he had managed to charm you through snapchat, meet you with a mysterious bullet wound, and was now about to tell you another grappling secret that you were sure would impact you significantly.

“Do you…do you perhaps know what The Dragon is?”

 His eyes were uncertain, flickering from side to side. You could see that in the way that he started fiddling with his hands and bouncing his leg nervously. 

“No,” you whispered, afraid that you’d break the boy if you spoke any louder. Jaemin peered into your eyes and then took one of your hands, lifting it to the scar on his shoulder that you had noticed earlier. 

“As you know, a dragon traditionally can be very symbolic.” 

You nodded your head. You recalled that Jisung would often talk about dragons, alluding them to his interest in mythology and their relevance in the modern world. 

“Well, dragons can symbolize chaos. That’s the meaning we’re going for.” 

“So let me guess, you’re a part of a gang that’s called The Dragon and that tattoo is a symbol for your gang, and it was supposed to be on your shoulder which is like one of those gang tattoo things. But there’s more to it.” You tried putting together every stereotypical piece of information that you could remember from the various dramas that you’d watched. 

It seemed that you hit the bullseye when Jaemin patted you on the shoulder. 

“Oh ho ho. You’re a lot smarter than I took you for.” He didn’t say that condescendingly. Rather, he was looking at you quite proudly as if he were saying that’s my girl. 

“Thanks,” you responded, shying away from his gaze. “But what else is there?”

“Actually...everyone in the gang...we don’t have soulmates. We’re outcasts.” He was looking into your eyes, gauging your reaction to see if you’d be disgusted from his reveal. 

You weren’t. 

In fact, you were more concerned about one specific fact. 

“Um...who’s in your gang again?”

“You know Haechan and Jisung are. And my friends Renjun, Jeno, and Chenle. One of our members, Mark, just went on hiatus for a bit to go to a university abroad.”

“So...you all don’t have a soulmate?”

He shook his head. “That’s why we had all tattooed a dragon on ourselves to show we’re the hidden chaos amidst the fake peace. Mine just got removed for a mission a while back.” 

“What about Park Jisung?”

“No..he doesn’t have a soulmate. Why?” Jaemin was starting to look a bit perplexed. He looked honest and you completely believed him. Of course, that didn’t have anything to do with the nagging crush in the back of your mind. But you were convinced that he was correct. 

“He told me he had a soulmate. I met her too...” 

“She’s probably a fake.” Ah. You finally understood a bit of what was going on. If the girl was a fake you could completely understand where he was coming from. A lot of the wealthier families chose to fake a soulmate for their child if they didn’t show signs of a soulmate mark. As long as the person didn’t fall in love, they were free to act however they wanted to; usually, families just bought a fake for inheritance purposes. Nothing more and nothing less. 

However, even if that was the case,  Jisung would have known that he did not have a real soulmate. He looked so in love whenever he talked about her though.  If so…

No, you didn’t want to think about it. That would be playing with fate. And that wasn’t okay...right? It’s not like you were doing the same thing at the moment.

Jaemin was ignorant of your inner conflict and chose to push the topic of the younger aside. “So...I just wanted to say that things haven’t gone as properly as I would’ve liked. Would you like to go on a date with me when I recover? A proper one?” He looked into your eyes earnestly and who were you to deny the handsome boy?

“Of course! Gotta give you time to heal. Also...I have a confession to make.”

“Oh?” He quirked his head to the side like a curious puppy and you would have laughed if you didn’t feel like you were about to reveal the most intimate secret about yourself. 

You chose to whisper the secret, afraid of the ears on the walls. “I don’t have a soulmate either.” 

He didn’t look shocked. In fact, he looked kind of relieved. “Two people without soulmates meet each other. What a story, huh.” 

You nodded your head. “Well, I’m glad we got that much off our shoulders. Introduce me to the rest of the gang later?” 

“They’re not the best people, but we’ll see. The sun’s rising right now, but let’s sleep in. You don’t have any obligations in the morning, right?”

“Nah. Let’s sleep.”

                                ______________________  

The week passed by just like that and you went on the date as promised. He took you to a bowling alley and then a high-end restaurant, showing off his earnings with a reserved table for the two of you. In a way, it was very much like him to shower you in his affection and love by giving you the best possible experiences he could provide. He even gifted you a metal ring that he claimed would protect you from harm’s way, even though you had no idea what he meant by that. Later, you learned that it could be part-blade and part-GPS with a small chip. You were overwhelmed at his gestures, but happy that he had considered you lovely enough to shower you with his love.

Even after the date, Jaemin stayed at your apartment to avoid going out and getting caught by the mysterious enemy. He didn’t explain what his mission was, but he did tell you enough for you to conclude that it was dangerous. 

To be honest, living with Jaemin wasn’t too bad. Sure, he was overly affectionate and clingy and slightly dependent on you due to his injury, but it wasn’t overbearing. He had his own quirky way of drawing you in. 

You noticed that he really wasn’t a man of too many words. The explaining he had done in the first two nights seemed to be the most he had ever said to you. He chose to show you his feelings through his actions. Some mornings, you would wake up to the wonderful aroma of breakfast wafting to the bedroom. Before you could take a step beyond the blankets, Jaemin would burst into the room with a smile on his face and a bounce in his steps. In his hands would be a tray of warm food, along with some juice, water, and any utensils you’d require for the meal.

Since his shirt was ruined, you had let him borrow the clothes that Jisung had left on the occasional sleepovers and they were adorably a bit too large on him. Jaemin would always joke about how the baby was the one who’d grown the most over the past few years. You’d laugh and agree, remembering how the younger was the chubbiest, most adorable child you’d ever seen. 

It wasn’t uncommon for the two of you to exchange childhood stories and banters from crazy experiences in the past either.

He’d talk about his best friends who would always be bound by his side: Jeno, Renjun, and Haechannie. Jeno was the strong figure in his life who had gone through the most terrible storms, but would fight through each and every one of them. The two would have their on and off fights, but they’d try to get along for the peace of the group. Renjun’s art could even make the Mona Lisa smile, according to Jaemin. And Haechannie was the happy virus with a knack for bringing the mood up. Jisung had joined the group after his hacking abilities had caused Jeno a headache. They took the younger in due to his talent and they became a happy family. And of course, he never forgot to bring up Mark, the Canadian kid who nearly threatened to quit the gang due to “Donghyuck’s persistent skinship.”

You laughed at his tales and would respond back with some stories of your own. You’d talk about the time that Jisung had scraped his knees and instead of telling anyone about it, he came up to you and told you that he was an immortal superhero with the strangest powers. Or the time you chased the younger around with a worm in your hand. 

Jaemin’s eyes sparkled as you told him various stories of the past. He responded by saying that you looked like you had hearts popping out of yours whenever he’d speak. You’d like to disagree with that, but you knew it was true.

And when it came time to change the bandages, Jaemin would come up to you with the biggest puppy eyes he could muster and pout until you got up. You wouldn’t ever keep him waiting and always had the first-aid supplies ready for whenever he needed them. 

Whenever it was time for you to cook dinner, he’d sit on the dining table and just gaze at your figure, absentmindedly admiring you. Most of the time, you’d catch him in his hazy state and point out how the hand leaning against his head caused his cheeks to mush up and turn red. He’d deny that and start arguing how you were just distracting and he really didn’t care about what happened as long as he could keep looking at you forever.

 And sometimes, it’d just be you and Jaemin cuddling on your sofa with some Lo-Fi music playing in the background. It was safe to say that you had grown used to having another individual in the house. You were living a much livelier life with him around. 

It wouldn’t always be the two of you in the apartment alone. Haechan would sometimes pop by to make sure that everything was alright. The first time he came around, he brought the tattered shirt and threw it at Jaemin’s face, telling him that it was beyond his ability to repair. The second time he came, he caught the two of you snuggling and nearly launched himself at Jaemin for taking advantage of his friend. You put yourself in the middle and gave him a cheeky smirk that he easily turned away from. 

In the chaos that was now your life, you surprisingly noticed that Jisung hadn’t bothered to contact you this whole time. He knew you were in a rough spot, so why didn’t he contact you? Maybe he found out you met Jaemin and was mad at you? That still didn’t excuse his absence. 

So as you sat across from Jaemin, you dialed his number in hopes of finding out the reason. One ring passed...then another. He strangely still didn’t pick up. Jisung would always pick up your call, even if he was in the middle of class. You tried again, hoping that it was a mishap and you made a mistake, but you still ended with the same result. 

“Um, Jaem?” The boy hummed. 

“Jisung isn’t picking up.” 

“Wait what? He always picks up, though.” Jaemin pulled out his own phone and dialed the number, waiting until the call went to voicemail before looking at you. 

You got up from your spot. “I’m going to go to his house.” 

He shook his head. “That’s dangerous. I’ll go.” 

“You’re still injured,” you reminded him as you grabbed your bag and the pepper spray that was laying on the table beside it. “His house is here, and there’s still light outside. Don’t worry too much.” 

Jaemin didn’t look too sold on the idea of you going outside when you were practically harboring an outcast in your home, but he respected your decision and finally resigned. “Okay, but stay on Facetime with me the entire time. I want to see you safe, baby.”  

You almost cooed at the pet name and walked up to him, giving him a chaste kiss on his forehead. He wrapped his arms around your waist and gave you his infamous puppy eyes. “Call. Now.” Rolling your eyes, you video called him and watched him pick it up,  

After he was satisfied, you walked out and closed the door securely, making sure that no intruder could break in from the outside. It wasn’t a typical occurrence in your neighborhood, but you were never too sure about that. 

The walk to Jisung’s house didn’t take too long and Jaemin stayed on the call as promised, telling you the most obscure facts so you wouldn’t get bored. When you arrived at his place, you could hear voices from inside the house. You gave a signal for Jaemin to quiet down and placed your ear against the door. You knew eavesdropping was rude, but hey, if you got any information from it…

You could hear three male voices, one of which belonged to your friend. The other voice that was currently talking was deep, not as much as Jisung’s but still comparable. He seemed to be talking in a soft manner, not raising his voice. 

“...it’s...don’t worry....bomb….detonated and...got her and I’m....Jaemin…” The ending fizzled out and you could only make out a few words. 

Another hushed voice spoke up, sounding like pure honey. “...he’s right. Also, I think we’ve got a visitor.” The voice sounded much closer and you didn’t have time to back up before the door swung open. You were met with a tall male with bleached hair, his dark roots showing prominently. He looked at you with piercing eyes, looking as if he were ready to eliminate you without hesitation. 

Another male walked up behind him, taller and much more intimidating than the first despite his calming aura. His dark hair was a sharp contrast to his milky skin, and his fingers were adorned with rings. However, the next thing you noticed was a dragon tattoo on his biceps, peeking out under the loose t-shirt he was wearing. 

“Are you looking for someone?” He asked briskly, clearly wanting to get this conversation over with quickly

The other boy looked offended that he had the audacity to ask you the question. “Jeno, what if she’s a spy?”

“Well, Renjun, let’s give her a chance. She already knows our names thanks to you.”   

Renjun just huffed and looked at you. “So, spill.” 

“Wow, rude,” you commented, rolling your eyes for a dramatic effect. “Also, I’m looking for Park Jisung. This is his house, after all.” 

You heard a sniffle from the background. “Let her in. It’s just (Y/n).” Giving a smirk directed to the boy at the door, you let yourself in and took your shoes off before running to the boy. 

“Jisungie, I’m here for you.” You heard a muffled audio vibrate in your pocket and realized that you had left Jaemin hanging. “Jaemin is here too. What happened?”

Jisung looked absolutely heartbroken. He was struggling to contain his tears and you pulled him into a tight hug. “It’s okay. Let it out.” You stayed there in that position, hugging as the two boys behind you awkwardly shuffled around and grabbed some water. 

The taller, Jeno, tapped you on the shoulder and held up two bottles of water. “It’s a sorry...for how I acted before. Also Jisung might get dehydrated from all this crying.” You accepted the beverage gratefully and rubbed the sobbing boy’s shoulders before prying him off of you. 

“Drink,” you commanded. 

Renjun moved to squat beside you and handed the younger a tissue box. He turned to you. “Sorry I was harsh to you too. How do you know Jisung?” 

Ah, he was straight to the point. Well, as long as he acknowledged you weren’t dangerous, it’d suffice. 

“They’ve known each other since they were kids,” Jaemin shouted through your phone speaker. 

“I keep forgetting you’re here,” you snorted.

“How rude.” You could practically hear him pout as he said that. 

Renjun, on the other hand, was pretty interested. “Jaemin, Jeno told me you got shot?” 

“Uh, yeah,” he replied. “It was a fake.” You heard Jisung cough in the background. 

“Anyway, I’m glad you’re okay. Stay on the down low for a bit,” Jeno spoke firmly. You could hear a leader like vibe radiating from him. It was scary. 

“Yes, sir,” Jaemin quipped. “Ight, (Y/n), imma head out.” With that meme worthy exit, he hung up on you. 

Jisung seemed to finally calm down and was breathing normally, almost a look of determination in his eyes. “(Y/n)-” 

“Uh... does she know?” Renjun interrupted. 

“The Dragon?” You responded, wanting to show him that you did have some knowledge. “Yeah, I do.”

Jeno quirked his eyebrows and plopped down beside you. “So you know I’m the temporary leader while Mark is out?” Well, no you didn’t. But that made sense. 

“I assumed that.” He seemed to like your reply and then gave you a little smile. 

“Our maknae...baby Jisung, he received terrible news from an incident that occurred not too long ago.” You leaned in to hear him closer, as if the distance would clear up your curiosity. “His soulmate received a bugged package that exploded. It was on impact…”

You heard a whimper and saw Renjun patting the younger on the shoulder. 

“When did it happen?” You asked. “Specifically?”

“Last week. Um, about six days ago? At night, around eight?” You gasped. That timing seemed familiar to you. A bit too familiar. 

“Who did it?”

“We don’t know. Our intelligence can’t determine how it got to her hands.” This time, it was Renjun who responded. 

“Jisung, can’t you use a tracker or hack a camera to figure that out?”

He shook his head, puffy eyes meeting yours for the first time that day. “I sent that package. I didn’t know she’d get it. I-I fell in love with her too.” He quickly gasped before covering his mouth. 

“I know,” you said. “I know you don’t have a soulmate.”

“You’re a smart girl,” Jeno commented. “We can use you.” You didn’t know whether to respond to that as a compliment or to fight him, so you did the next best thing: ignore him. 

“Well, I guess I signed up for this in a way,” he responded, downcast. 

You sighed. This wasn’t good. You were finding yourself in a similar predicament as him and you were afraid to find out what would happen if you treaded the same path. 

The rest of the day dwindled just like that: Jisung mourning with the three of you trying to console and comfort him. You learned more about Jeno and Renjun and obtained all their socials as well. 

When you arrived back home, Jaemin welcomed you with open arms and a wet smooch to your cheeks. Haechan, who probably arrived a bit after you left the call, was sitting adjacent to you guys in the living room looking grim. You were surprised to see him so serious, not even breaking out of character to strangle Jaemin for his affection.

“How’s Jisung doing?” 

“Fine. It’ll take a while to get over it.” 

Jaemin nodded understandingly and brought you down to sit next to the other boy, handing you some pizza bites and mozzarella sticks. You thanked him and ate properly for the first time that day. 

Haechan observed you grabbing the cheesy snack before swooping in and taking a big bite from the piece in your hand. You glared at him. 

“(Y/n), I found out some information that you wouldn’t like to hear.”

“What?” You asked. 

“Jisung’s girlfriend received the package. But that was one of my packages. And I can guarantee you that it did not have any explosives when I sent it out.”

You must’ve looked really perplexed because both boys broke out in light hearted laughter. 

“Don’t make that face,” Jaemin finally spoke. “You’re so cute, I might eat you up instead.” You nearly threw up at his cheesiness and threw a stick at him. Lucky for him, he caught it in his mouth and scrunched his nose at you. “Nice try, baby.”

Haechan gagged. “You two are disgusting.” 

The two of you chuckled in response before you decided to talk about the elephant in the room. “So you’re saying that the package was bugged?”

“By who?” Jaemin inquired. The other boy shook his head. You all decided to leave the matter hanging in the air and ate to your heart’s content before retiring for the night. Haechan waved you two goodbye and left as you got ready for bed. 

By now, you were more than comfortable to sleep with Jaemin and his injury was healing quite well. He was the little spoon today, seemingly more sensitive than before. You combed your hand through his hair. “What’s wrong?”

“That...what if that package was the one I sent?” 

Oof. You had speculated that he’d arrive at this conclusion. So had you. 

“It could be.” 

“But who spiked it?”

“Dunno.”

Those were the only words exchanged before sleep lulled you both into the realm of sleep. This time, the dream you had was even more frightening. You were in a room that was dark and cold. You couldn’t see a single thing beyond the stone walls and that terrified you. It seemed so realistic. The musty basement smell that permeated the air was giving you nausea in your dream. 

A brown dragon swirled around, moving in before attempting to wrap around you. You tried so hard to free yourself, but it was becoming harder to breathe with each passing minute. Feeling a spark of hope, you yelled into the void and woke yourself up to the morning light. Except, it wasn’t morning light. It was the bright light from a bulb above that flickered tic, tok, tic, tok, until it too went out. 

That was how you found yourself stuck in your current predicament. You had a vague recollection of getting thrown out of a car and walking into a warehouse, the general directions fuzzy to you. There wasn’t much more that you could recall, detail-wise. 

After a few minutes, you heard shuffling and a resounding thud against the door. The person let out curses as they struggled opening the knob and resorted to kicking the door down. It went silent for a couple of seconds and you were afraid that the guards had woken up and decided to fight back. You moved your feet in an attempt to move a bit farther from the door, in case there was an enemy who would barge in. 

Feeling all hope of your rescuer disappearing, you let out a sob. “Please, please hurry.” 

Although your hands were free, your feet were still bound to the chains and you couldn’t go far without making a ruckus. It was futile but you tried to bang the shackles against the floor of the mini prison. There wasn’t much point in doing that, but you wanted to somehow reassure the person on the other side (if they were alive) that you were still kicking and alert of their presence. 

You heard a click and a creak of the door, signaling the person had gotten through. Blinding light filled your vision and you squeezed your eyes shut. You heard a figure run towards you and fall to their knees, hugging you tightly.

“You’re safe now. I won’t let them hurt you. Not ever. I got you.”

“J-Jaemin?” You’d recognize that voice anywhere. He spilled apologies, putting his head on top of yours and rubbing his hand on your back to comfort you. Jaemin held onto you as if you were the last thing he’d ever hold and that was bringing tears to your eyes.

“I’m so happy to see you,” you admitted, sniffling and slowly opening your eyes to adjust to the scenery around you. The two of you were in the damp cell, with the only source of light coming from the open door in front of you. Miraculously, the guards who had initially brought here (assumingly) were lying unconscious on the ground, mouths hanging open as if they had been taken by surprise. 

“I thought I lost you,” he confessed. “I can’t believe I hurt you. It’s my fault, but I have to make this right.” He pulled out a tool from his pant pocket and swiftly waved it, revealing a lock-picking point. You understood his intention and turned around, putting your bound feet onto his lap. He made quick work on the bindings, easily twisting and shifting through the locks until they fell apart. 

You sighed in relief at the feeling of blood rushing through your legs and massaged them. He raised his eyebrows at you and let out a laugh in the ironic moment. 

“You freed your hands by yourself? That’s my girl,” he complimented, pressing a kiss to your cheek before standing up and giving you a hand. “We don’t have time. Jisung’s waiting with the car.” Time was of the essence. This wasn’t a time to become sentimental, so you wiped your tears as you stood up, accepting his hand. 

The two of you cautiously took a step outside the room and looked both ways as you headed down the hall. Your getaway route was easy. Just a left, then a sharp turn to the right, and the door would be straight to the right. A couple of stairs would lead to the entrance of the warehouse and you could escape from the abandoned building. You had memorized the route when you were brought into the warehouse and Jaemin followed your instructions, trusting your memory. When you asked him how he entered, he replied that he simply popped down from the roof and that the helicopter had flown away already.

Learning enough about him to know that it wouldn’t do you any good to bother asking question about his methods, you squeezed his hand and moved forward.  He reciprocated the action and pulled you closer to him as you neared the edge. Jaemin peered past the opening and signaled that it was clear. Honestly, you were surprised. You hadn’t expected it to seem this easy.

It seemed that your anxiety agreed. Adrenaline was pumping through your body and you could hear sharp noises of what seemed like a rat scurrying through the pipes. Your nerves were practically on fire at each movement you took through the hallways, but it seemed that you had nothing to worry about as you arrived at the door. 

“Not bad, huh?” Jaemin whispered with a grin. 

You rolled your eyes. “Have you never watched dramas? No protagonist says that.”

“Shh, nerd,” he replied. But as he pushed the door that says pull, you let out a snort.

“Yeah, I’m the nerd here. At least I know how to open doors,” you retorted, pushing his aside to open the door. 

The rickety metal stairs were slightly rusty, but they looked in good enough shape to walk in. You placed all your bets on a line as you inched forward onto the platform, hoping that there’d be no noise. Jaemin walked behind you, one hand hovering over your waist as he looked below in search for any enemy. 

Going down the stairs was tricky. The shadow of the warehouse masked the two of you well enough that you wouldn’t be in direct sunlight. Thankfully, there wasn’t a lot of noise from the steps and you finally made your way down to the last step.

Jaemin suddenly paused in his step, sniffing the air. You turned to look at him. 

“What?”

“Shit, we’ve been bamboozled. Can’t you smell it?”

You looked up and smelled the air, sensing the musty smell of an old moldy basement. However, you could faintly smell something else like rotten eggs. Was that something that should strike you as odd? “Smell what?” 

“We’re gonna have to try to run for it, but it’s dangerous.” You looked at him, stunned, but nodded your head nonetheless. 

“Now?” He mumbled a yeah and the two of you took off to the opening of the warehouse. As soon as you were halfway to the exit, there was a thud and the giant cover slammed down. You were completely engulfed in darkness.

Jaemin was still holding your hand, but you could feel him shaking. 

As bright lights turned on, you found yourself surrounded by a group of thugs. A familiar face walked out of the crowd and stood in the center, holding a gun cockily and giving you two a smirk. 

“Well, well, well. Look who we caught.” His voice sounded as if he had calculated the end result of a simple game of chess - only that game of chess was in his favor and he was about to declare a checkmate anytime soon.

You almost felt your jaw drop. “Is that...no way?”

Jaemin, on the other hand, didn’t look too surprised. Rather, he looked angry. This was not the outcome he wanted and he felt betrayed. There was no way either of you could have stopped this in the end. “Jisungie-” 

“Don’t call me that,” the younger snapped. The heels of his boots echoed through the warehouse as he approached you and lifted your chin with the butt of his gun. 

“Who do you think sent you the wrong information the other night?” 

You heard an audible gasp beside you and saw Jaemin’s eyes widening in realization. “That’s why the deal busted. Even though I made sure it was safe.” He lowered his hands down to his abdomen as if he were still feeling the aftermath of the phantom pain resonating in his body. 

Jisung chuckled and waved his hands around. “No, no, no, you have it all wrong, You didn’t make sure it was safe. I made sure it wasn’t safe.” He put his hands in his pocket and pulled out two pairs of earplugs. One had the signature engraving that Renjun usually drew on his raw material. The other was a counterfeit, quite similar to the other, but missing the symbol. 

“You gave me a fake? That cost your girlfriend her life!” Jaemin was raising his voice and you could sense him visibly losing his cool. The other men who were standing guard immediately pointed their weapons at him to warn him from acting foolishly. You were at a disadvantage and if you didn’t get out soon, this would go downhill very quickly. 

There was a sliver of hope in your mind that the ring on your finger was still working well enough in the abandoned region to gain satellite positioning and alert your other friends where you guys were. However, you knew that Jisung also had access to the technology and he probably would’ve found a way to shut it down. 

At this point, Jaemin looked like he was about to lunge at Jisung, weapon or no weapon, and he probably would have done it if you didn’t put an arm on his shoulder. “Not now,” you said rationally. With his head practically being a red target for the enemy, you knew that any rash actions would lead to your demise. 

His gaze pierced into yours before he relaxed, stepping back and taking a deep breath. The tension in the room was high and Jisung seemed to enjoy this turn of events. 

“(Y/n), I’m so glad to see you making the right decision,” he praised you. 

You were gritting your teeth at his comment. “That doesn’t mean I’m letting you off the hook. Why are you doing all of this?” 

He rolled his eyes before mocking you in a high pitched voice. “Have you ever been in my shoes?” 

Jaemin huffed. “Here we go with the dramatic villain monologue…”

Jisung ignored him and continued his rant, posing with one hand on his hips and the other waving his gun in the air. You’d have to admit that he looked a little cute when he was mad, only if you ignored the situation that you were in and pretended that you were all shooting a film instead. His pout only made him look like a child who was throwing a tantrum to his parents.

“I’ve always been the underdog. What do I do? Sit around with a bunch of monitors and track people or things while breaking into firewalls all day. Do you know how boring and tedious that is?”

“Uh yeah, that’s what a hacker does,” Jaemin mumbled. 

“And you know what the saddest part is? I wasn’t there for the love of my life when she died. Because I have more ‘important’ things to do. And you know who killed her?” He was starting to pace back and forth. 

You were getting nervous at his actions. Forget about his big motive reveal, you had never heard the usually docile boy talk this much and felt sad that you weren’t there to comfort him at his most vulnerable time. “Who?” You asked, even though you had a feeling you knew the answer. 

“Our gang. Jaemin...you were assigned to kill her.” 

This time, it was Jaemin’s turn to be shocked. “W-what? I didn’t kill her. I didn’t know,” he denied the accusation. 

“Jaems...” You looked at him. 

He shook his head. “Honest to god, I did not. Why would I do that to my baby? If only I’d known-”

“Don’t call me that. You don’t have the right to call me that anymore.” Jisung was practically shaking from anger and a sadness that was bubbling slowly to the surface. “They told you to deliver a package-“

“Oh my-no way. Jisung, is it possible that the hidden explosive was made from someone in the group?” 

The boy nodded. “Yes. It was. She didn’t see it coming and neither did I when I sent you the location and told you to leave. I didn’t...I didn’t know she’d be the receiver and people would stop you from checking the contents before delivering it.” 

You knew that this conversation wasn’t about you, but you did know you’d have to do something quick. Not quite thinking straight, you stepped in the middle. 

“Ji-she’d never want you to do this. How were either of you supposed to know?” 

“He should’ve known!” Jisung yelled back. You flinched at his outburst. “Whenever we send packages, it’s always-“ His sentence faded with a choked sob. He was broken. It didn’t take a genius to figure that out. 

Beside you, Jaemin looked helpless and absolutely gutted. He had caused his best friend pain without even realizing what he was doing and now he was stepping on a minefield with every passing second. He looked so conflicted as if he wanted to help him, but he couldn’t. Jisung was so broken. 

You took a deep breath and walked up to the younger boy. All signs of hostility had left his body and he was hunched over in pain. Even though you had suffered a bit at his hands, he was still the one who’d hold you close and console you whenever you were down. You figured that unlike Jaemin, you had a chance to get closer and disarm the boy in his moment of weakness. 

Your assumption was correct as Jisung immediately crumpled into your hold and let out all of the pain he’d been holding back. 

“I’m so sorry,” he mumbled over and over as you tried to hush him. A soft thump resounded against the concrete ground as he let go of his weapon. 

“Why’re you sorry?” Jaemin cautiously approached you two and hovered his arms around you both, checking to make sure he wouldn’t get attacked by anyone before he engulfed you two in a tighter hug. 

Jisung only sobbed louder and mumbled something under his breath that you strained to hear. “Huh?” You asked. 

“Issa trap. I’m so sorry” Although his voice was muffled against your shirt, you could understand his speech. Jaemin also seemed to understand what he was saying this time and he looked at you, his eyes widened. 

Before you could adjust to this new information, you heard the sound of a magazine being inserted and a couple of bullets ringing out, eliminating all the guards. 

The Dragon, or should you say the leader of the gang. Lee Jeno, stared coldly at your little circle. His gun was pointing at Jaemin, the red pointer clearly indicating a small mark at your boyfriend's left shoulder. 

“Good job, Jisung. You’re the perfect little agent.” Jisung whimpered in your hold and held you tighter, if possible. He was afraid. It was safe to say that you were too. 

Jeno had this crazed look in his eyes as he glanced at Jaemin. “You’ve ran for long enough. It’s time for you to go. Any last words?” 

The boy stared defiantly back in response. “I’m not dying. My girl, best friend, and I will make it out of here.” He didn’t seem too sure of those words as his voice wavered. 

Jeno huffed at the retort. “You sound unsure of yourself.” He was taking small steps and walking over with his gun never leaving the mark.

“Don’t kill him,” you spoke up. “You need to let go of this delusioned idea you have of people. Not everyone is like you.”

“So? I couldn’t get my love. Why should he? You know what happens to those who defy fate. I was meant to be your obstacle,” he reasoned, almost trying to convince himself why he was doing this.

You found a weak spot in his hesitance and decided to strike. “If this is about soulmates, you can learn to love again. Love comes in all shapes and forms. If you weren’t destined for a lover, then love your friends. Love the people around you. If you can’t do that much, how could you live knowing that you hurt so many of your own gang member’s chances at love?”  

“It’s all jealousy,” he shouted back. Jeno was less than a meter away from you by now. Pure adrenaline was pumping through your blood and you were ready to fight-or-flight. The fear from earlier was dissipating into a feeling far more rushing. 

Jaemin stood up from his spot beside you as he and Jeno were now finally face to face. “We were like brothers. I’m sad to see you’ve chosen this path.” He sounded disappointed as if he were scolding a child rather than facing death in the eyes. 

Jeno just chuckled and thumbed at the activator. “Do you know why they say you shouldn’t defy fate?” You squeezed your eyes shut just before you could see Haechan, Renjun, and Chenle burst through the opening and reach out to stop the boy. 

But it was far too late. 

He shot.

You finally realized why they always told you to never break the soulmate rule. The one who you loved would always die.

You had averted your eyes to avoid watching Jaemin fall to the ground, clutching his shoulder - or should you say, his Achilles heel. It wasn’t quick. It wasn’t painless either. 

The boys had reached you guys way too late. It was kind of ironic. They said heroes would always be there in time to save you, but they never did. You couldn’t be the one to divert fate.  

It was almost as if a crescendo background music had ceased. The blood rushing through your body from pure adrenaline was almost deafening at this point but there was no way you could miss his body dropping to the floor. 

But there was no way you missed how Jaemin crawled to hold your hand and tell you he loved you and he would continue to love you in every life. He said he’d go meet you every time, even if he didn’t have a soulmate mark, because he knew you’d be the only one for him. 

Haechan had later seized Jeno’s weapon and wrestled him to the ground. Nothing, however, could change the fact of the events that transpired. The gang decided to eliminate their current leader and reinstate Mark, who’d been angry at the news. It wasn’t a very happy ending, but you were satisfied that the boys stayed by your side. 

Later, much much later, Jisung held you in his arms as Jaemin’s passing finally hit you. Oh, how the roles were reversed. It just wasn’t fair. Not at all. Such a beautiful life had been taken from Jaemin before he could truly experience life all because he dared to fall in love. 

Now you were determined to hold on to the sliver of life just to keep living for him out of spite. Even if you weren’t meant to fall in love, you had met an angel who dared to show you what heaven was like. Sure it wasn’t ideal and it burned fast, but you had enjoyed the ride. You wouldn’t cry anymore. No, you were over it. It was time to pick yourself up and be strong, for yourself and for Jaemin.

Tag list (i’ll try to do this for my next series): @markleeswifeee​

[gdreamzseternal]

I’d like to thank

@myradfemblog for finding an extremely old porn blog of mine. I forgot it existed and it actually makes me sick to see that I was role playing such sick disgusting trauma that I went through thinking it would help when it made me so much worse. Thank you for abusing me over something I repeatedly asked you to give me the link to because I wasn’t going to go through your slander about me to find it.

I want to also say thanks because you pointing that out and me seeing that made me cry both from being triggered and realizing how far I’ve come. That I am extremely kink critical now. When I used to be heavily into it. That I don’t whore myself out anymore because “sex work makes me strong”. God I used to genuinely believe that. Makes me sick. I was so so sick. I was still victimizing myself back then...

But now.. I am a survivor.

Everyone advocated for and ignored the dangers of extreme methods of “beat the child into submission”. (Looking at you old people) It’s so sad cause I still see it now. The way a person who I had a normal discussion with suddenly gets to violently abuse me and degrade me just because they didn’t like what I had to say. Sounds like abusive parents. Everything’s cool til it’s not.

My dad beat my ass cause at 9 years old because I looked him in the eyes and told him to stop drinking cause he was being mean. Telling the truth got me abused. Look at that what a surprise.

Humans communicate differently than other creatures on the planet. Does that mean the other creatures don’t communicate? No. That just means they do things different. They don’t need vaccines because they were meant to survive and live here. If humans didn’t have their science we would all be dead! We are in a race with the planet to see who can kill who first. Will we kill the planet (which kills us too idiots) or will the planet eradicate us via disease and natural disasters and heal itself and start over (we still dead). Or do we chill on our population and help the earth heal by bein more considerate of our surroundings. Yeah none of you like me because I say it how it is without thinking about how it will affect any of you. So that means you get to abuse me. I’m not hurting anyone by simply sharing my views. Yet I am being hurt for speaking my views. I’m not actively slitting the throats of disabled people. I’m not saying we have to round up the retards that already exist and just shoot them. They should just be left in their natural form. Yeah give artificial limbs out cause that’s science but giving a nasty fat fuck a wheel chair cause boohoo they can’t loose weight? Nah true waste of resources. I’m saying we use the science that is our only advantage to prevent that from ever happening again.

All I’m doing is talking on MY BLOG. & I get death threats and told I should be raped by my father all over again. Simply for sharing my feelings on what will 1000000% save the greater good. It doesn’t even have to be permanent. Imagine if every grown man had to get a vasectomy for the next 20 years til all the excited potential parents get throughly processed to see if they are psychologically, psychically, financially and home stable to have children. Then there is a massive database of all the adorable kids waiting to find homes and they get to meet and have a 30 day period where THE CHILD decides if they like their new potential parents. Every couple/person wanting to adopt can adopt up to 2 kids and the kids get a say too.

Humans are not special and I don’t care if you disagree with me. Yet for some reason we literally act like gods gift (complete pun intended) That think who fucking cares what we do to everything around us including ourselves because this is OUR EARTH. We can do what WE WANT. Blah blah blah. Then the WHITE MEN put control on EVERYONE. Then slowly we colored folk said fuck you and made our own lives cause who gives a flying fuck about someone’s skin color except for white people. Then the humans just started literally takin over. Who cares if a bunch of birds nests lived in this tree? I want my new condo that I spend 2-3 months a year in right fucking here so the homes of those birds don’t matter. Let’s massively hunt these animals into extinction for our pleasure. (Okay Hitlers)

We are selfish

I wasn’t raised like you. I wasn’t raised by anyone but my own fucking brain. I never had any positive influences but the voices in my head. We see the world for what it is and not the false reality im creating for myself. I won’t even say ‘most’ if you were raised right because even today in 2019 the system and adults hide the abuse and damage that is really happening. Clearly this whole system isn’t working.

I was raised that literally everything in the whole world was both good and bad. So I learned to be objective and unbiased. Your feelings are what get you killed. Ask any dead kid who didn’t speak up about their abusive parents. And any bleeding out gangbanger who got felt offended by a color and killed someone over it. Someone who felt the desire to get high cause they have no self control and killed some to get $$. But it wasn’t them because even though they felt the need to do the drugs it wasn’t their fault.

So why are we going to keep adding more and more children to the solution when we don’t even know what to do with the poor innocent souls that we have now? We just pretend it’s not that big a deal and keep adding feul (the kids) to the fire (the shitty system). CLEARLY you all know there’s a problem and nothing any of you are doing is working.

So when do we take extreme measures? When do we ACTUALLY make a change. We have nuclear bombs hell ANY bomb and those are okay “when absolutely necessary” but allowing people to have kids they can’t afford, can’t raise, got raped into them, got one night standed with, can’t handle. A BOMB AFFECTS HUMANS AND THE ENVIRONMENT NEGATIVELY. Humans getting neutered (since that’s what you call it for other creatures) will effect the world positively. The bombs are okay though? We can MASS destroy life but we can’t mass PREVENT it from having to be destroyed or emotionally ruined in the first place? Not forever just til we get our shit together.

The abominations and retards. That’s EXACTLY WHAT THEY ARE that’s why no one likes when you mention it. They are like the endless elephant in the room. I will die by the quote, “A few bad apples ruins the whole barrel”. We think that it’s perfectly okay to keep adding bad genes to our makeup while simultaneously praying we live forever. It’s so tiresomely contradicting.

If you can all make such a fucking effort for these retard abominations that you breed. Then you can STOP breeding COMPLETELY until you give the kids homes that need them. Those kids will be more likely to become doctors getting adopted out to good homes. Then if they get left to rot in a shitty system while they walk in a grocery store with their mean foster mom and see a happy young couple PREGNANT with their first child when they could have adopted him. If you choose to give birth instead of adopting then you might as well walk up to a kid in a foster/group home and tell them they are garbage and ain’t ever going anywhere.

I still haven’t had my question answered... why does ANY HUMAN ON THIS ENTIRE PLANET need to breed when there are already so many homeless children?

So what is it are we going to stop breeding and adopt all the kids out to good homes that have been more throughly evaluated than a simple background check and having enough beds and money?

Are we going to keep creating a whole brand new system for the retards when the perfectly able children who would flourish with good parents system is still completely fucked?

Giving whole TV shows to literal human abominations for entertainment. Or humans that are forced to overbreed or sickly do it “for religious reasons”. You get to see how much their disability/struggles makes their life so hard but they are so ~brave and strong~ because society would rather force conjoined twins to spend their lives together or die trying to separate because human euthanasia is wrong until a human kills another human???????

Where does that make sense.

We are going to keep worrying more about the dysfunctional, malfunctioned, rejects of our society before the regular ones? We are going to keep following fake gods we have no proof of so that we don’t have to accept the realities of human nature.

Are we going to not do anything and ignore all the clear issues and keep adding more kids?

The same can be said about the immigrant shit in America. We have so many problems we don’t need anymore people and this place is fucked why would you wanna come here anyway? (I digress on this)

Are we going to keep throwing children out like trash in hopes that someone else will raise the busted nut you let fester in your womb?

Like out of those which one of these which one is the best option? Because all but one are things we are already doing and it isn’t working.

So hate me for being unbiased. But as my therapist (yes I discuss this with BOTH my Ts to make sure I am not delusional) put it. I am not looking at it for the benefit of humans. I’m looking at the benefit of the earth as a whole. I don’t want humans to all die off. But if it’s what it has to take in order for this planet to survive then so be it. There are so many other species, creatures, life on this Planet.

To put it simply you’re all simpleminded.

There is no god because Humans seem to think they are god. & we can breed, have our technology, have our vaccines. But as long as we are still over breeding and not adequately using our resources....

The Human Rights we are fighting for will not matter if there is nothing for the humans to live on.

This Earth is our home and there are too many of us right now. Too many of us doing too many wrong things.

Focus on the Human Wrongs then there will be no need for Human Rights because they will realize they are all just another species on this glorious and beautiful earth.

I know none of you were take anything from this.

You all were taught one way or you think one way and that is it there can’t be any other way and anyone else who thinks differently than that is wrong but at the end of the day my ideas are what will save humanity your ideas are what will destroy it. Your safe space will be irrelevant if you have no where to put it.

A human’s need to add feeling and emotion to everything is our biggest flaw.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk Typing Podcast

[takerfoxx]

IM Swiftly Descending Shadow, Chapter 2

Stopping gossip from getting out at the Aoki Yume’s Children’s Home was like trying to catch the wind in your fist. Sure, you ended up with a handful of air, but the wind itself didn’t seem to notice and before you knew it all your stuff was knocked over.

Rumia hadn’t told anyone about their misadventure. Kohta hadn’t told anyone about their misadventure. Keine definitely hadn’t told anyone about their misadventure. And say what you will about Miss Mokou, but she was a woman of her word.

Still, by the time dinner had rolled around, everyone knew.

No one said anything to them. There were no questions, no comments, no taunts. But Rumia could still tell. She could tell by some of the sidelong glances and smirks from the ones she didn’t like. She could tell from the pitying looks from those that she did. How word had gotten out when none of those who had actually been there would ever tell, she didn’t know. Maybe someone had so happened to be near enough to hear. It didn’t matter. Word always got out.

Rumia sighed. To be perfectly honest, she didn’t really give a crap about their punishment. They were in trouble all the time! This wasn’t the first time they had been given extra chores as a result and it wouldn’t be the last. It was gross and annoying, but whatever. It would pass.

The problem was that, as always, being in trouble made them vulnerable.

Supper was fish stew, and while Rumia liked it well enough, she was not looking forward to dealing with that fishy smell afterward. She tried to eat quickly, so as not to get too much of the taste stuck on her tongue.

“Head’s up,” Kohta muttered.

“Huh?”

Kohta nodded to their right. Sitting across from them down the table were their arch-nemeses Haruko Kamijima, Eiko Goto, and Hayate Maeda. The three of them had been the ones that Rumia and Kohta had caught tormenting Keine to begin with, and the two trios had been enemies ever since. Which was fine. Sometimes you just needed an enemy to make life more interesting.

Unfortunately, having an enemy also made other times all the more hard to take. Such as now.

Apparently the three of them had been trying to get Rumia and her friends’ attention. They were already leering at them when Rumia looked up, and as soon as Rumia was looking their way they started snickering.

Then, with deliberate slowness, Haruko reached up with a single finger and stuck it into her nostril. She dug around for a bit before pulling out a slimy, greyish-green blob. Grinning at Rumia, she smeared it across the inside of her bow.

Suddenly Rumia didn’t really care for the rest of her meal. “Thanks,” she hissed to Kohta. “I really needed to see that.”

“You’re washing theirs,” Kohta remarked.

“Uh, am not? Why should I?”

“Because the cookie raid was your idea. And I’m already stuck with the big pot, so it’s only fair. Or are you going to make Keine do it?”

Keine, who had been lost in thought as she pushed pieces of stew around in her bowl, suddenly looked up at the sound of her name. “Huh?” she said. “What about me?”

Rumia and Kohta exchanged a glance. Rumia sighed. “Nothing,” she growled. “I got it.”

“Got what? What happened?”

“Nothing! Gods, drop it!”

Keine still looked confused, but she knew better than to press the subject, so she shrugged and went back to her private musing. Rumia shot Kohta a glare. In response, Kohta just shrugged.

“Jerk,” Rumia muttered.

“Youkaiass,” he whispered back.

“Fairypuss.”

“Shiteater.”

“Will you two grow up?” Keine said.

“Never,” Rumia and Kohta said in unison.

…

It was, as predicted, a thoroughly miserable experience.

Eighteen kids lived at the orphanage. Eighteen kids, plus the six grown-ups that took care of them. That meant twenty-four bowls, twenty-four plates, twenty-four sets of utensils, and twenty-four cups, plus everything that Miss Mokou used to make the large meals for everyone.

Kohta had been stuck taking care of that last bit, and now he was on his hands and knees deep inside the big black pot that Mokou had cooked the stew in, scrubbing every bit of fish goop away. He had to emerge every few seconds to gag and cough before taking a deep breath and plunging back in again. Rumia sympathized. It wasn’t that it smelled bad, of course. It was just that it smelled a lot.

She and Keine were taking care of the bowls, plates, cups, and utensils, and unfortunately Rumia herself was doing the actual cleaning while Keine had been lucky enough to be left with the drying and stacking. Technically, Keine’s job was the more lengthy one, but Rumia’s was by far the grossest.

Most of the bowls were mostly picked clean, leaving just the residue. Others…were not. And Rumia knew the second that she came to Haruko’s.

Nearby, Miss Mokou was lounging on a stool in a corner, a lit cigarette in her mouth as she smugly watched them. “You know,” she said around puffs of smoke. “I know kids will be kids. And I sure as hell know that you three all got a bit of devil in you. But come on! Now? When flying lessons are right around the corner? With the market trip…tomorrow? Would’ve thought that you’d have more sense than that.”

Rumia clamped her jaw tight to keep from letting a smart remark slip. She kept on scrubbing.

“Ah well, guess we’re all servants to our natures. Especially in this godsinfested country. Spirits will wander, fairies will forever be stupid, and you will-”

“Um, Miss Mokou?” Keine said suddenly.

Miss Mokou paused, no doubt a bit taken back at being interrupted. Then she said, “Yeah?”

“How come we can only ever get to see other people when the big market goes up? How come we can never actually get to go to the Human Village anymore?”

Rumia, who had only been listening with half an ear, suddenly heard a sharp sizzling sound. She turned around.

Miss Mokou’s cigarette was burning. Not just lit, but burning, a small ring of fire traveling down its length, turning it into ash as it went. What was more, it wasn’t coming from the lit end, but out from Miss Mokou’s mouth.

Soon Miss Mokou was just left with a cylinder of solid ash stuck between her lips.

She let out one last cloud of cigarette smoke, and the ash fell apart. She spat out the rest. “Because, Keine,” Miss Mokou said, her voice calm but filled with barely repressed anger. “It’s like I was saying. We all have our natures. Kids will get into mischief, fairies will be stupid, youkai will be wild.” She picked up her cigarette box from the nearby kitchen counter and her nose wrinkled in annoyance when she saw that it was empty. She tossed it into the nearby trash bucket. “And fools will be fools.”

Kohta looked up from his ordeal. “What does that mean?” he said. “What fools?”

Miss Mokou shook her head. “Never you mind.” She leaned forward on the stool, her long forearms perched in her knees while her hands dangled in between her legs like a pair of hanging spiders. “Listen to me, kids. Yeah, we expect you to mind the grown-ups here in this house, but just because someone’s a grown-up doesn’t make them wise, or even smart. There are plenty of people who get as old as the hills but remain dumber than any one of you. And the Human Village is crawling with that kind of idiot.”

“But why?” Keine said. “What does that have to do with us not being allowed in?”

Miss Mokou shook her head. “Never you mind,” she said again. “Just remember: as you grow up, you’re probably gonna hear some people say some nasty things. But don’t you believe any of it. You might be annoying little cockroaches sometimes, but there’s nothing wrong with you kids at all.”

“Wrong?” Rumia frowned. “Wait, who’s saying that something’s wrong with us?”

“Idiots. Like I said earlier. Just idiots.” Then Ms. Mokou sighed. “Look, you guys are good for tonight. Go ahead and go to bed. And seriously, next time you try to pull one over on me, at least come up with something new, okay?”

“Okay,” Rumia said, though she was still very confused. “Um, good night, Miss Mokou. “She, Kohta, and Keine all started to head for the door.

“Oh, wait, hold up,” Miss Mokou said suddenly.

The trio turned around, half-expecting to be presented with some last-minute labor.

Instead, Miss Mokou was holding out a sizzling metal tray. On it were three freshly baked ginger cookies with chunks of apple.

Rumia perked up in surprise. “Uh, huh? Really?”

In response, Mokou winked and held a finger to her lips. “Shhhh.”

That sounded as fair a deal as Rumia had ever heard. She and her friends took the offered treats, bowed in thanks, and hurried off.

…

Mokou sat alone in her kitchen, eyes still fixed on the door that her favorite band of troublemakers had just departed through.

Even though she cared for every child who lived at the Aoki Yume’s Children’s Home, even the mean ones, she had always had a soft spot for those three. After all, it had been them that had found her lifeless body buried in the snow and had it dragged back to the orphanage two years prior. It had been them that had sort of taken her under their wing after her shockingly quick recovery and showed her around. It had been them that had convinced her to abandon the endless cycle of hatred and pain her life had been. It had been them that had convinced her to find a new purpose in life, to stay.

Mokou smiled. Even after she had been accepted into the family, those three had still seemed to be unable to stay away from her, though as her tormentors rather than her caretakers. They seemed to take personal delight in trying to pull one over on her, to make her fall victim to their endless pranks and schemes when most of the other kids seemed to be a little afraid of her. As someone who had grown up with several older brothers, Mokou appreciated that. It had been a long time since anything had reminded her of the few good times in her life.

Then, as she mused on the drastic change her life had taken in the last couple of years, there was a knock at the back door.

Mokou rose and went to answer it.

Standing outside was a woman. A very short woman, one that was barely taller than the kids that Mokou had just been talking to and could probably be mistaken for a child herself if one didn’t know better like Mokou did. Her short, black hair was curly; her eyes dark maroon; and she was wearing a fleecy pink dress, a carrot-shaped pendant on a slender silver chain around her neck, and probably not a whole lot else. In one hand she was holding the handle of a lit lantern while the other clutched the handle of a large wooden mallet that was resting over her shoulder.

Also, sticking out of her hair was a pair of white rabbit’s ears.

“Heeeeeeeeeeey Mokou,” the rabbit said. “What up, girl?”

Mokou looked her up and down and sighed. “Tewi. Well, hello, but seriously. We’ve talked about this.”

“About what, Phoenix?” Tewi said with a wry grin.

“You’re on Human lands now. I don’t care that it’s almost midnight. Could you at least put on a hat?”

“Hmmm.” Tewi placed the head of her mallet on the ground and made a show of thoughtfully tapping her lower lip. Then she shook her head. “Nah.”

Mokou shot her a look. “Seriously, Tewi. Is it too much to ask that you just keep your ears covered? You know people’ll start talking if a fucking youkai keeps showing up here in the dead of night.”

“That is, how do they say, not my problem.” Tewi stepped to one side and gestured. “Besides, one might think that you would be a little more polite and less judgy about someone providing you with all these?”

Outside were four large wicker baskets, each filled with a different kind of food. One contained rose red apples, one with freshly caught fish, one with white and purple turnips, and one with onions.

“Oh, I’m grateful,” Mokou said as she grabbed the handles of two of the baskets with one hand apiece. Each one of them would have been difficult for two large men working together but she lifted them both with ease. “I’m super grateful. But come on, you know how things are now.”

Tewi hopped inside and jumped up to sit on the counter next to the sink. “Oh, I hear. Word has reach my ickle lickle ears that your Human friends don’t really like us anymore. Again.”

“Right,” Mokou sighed. “Fucking Sonozikas.”

“Well, that’s what you get for not finishing the job.”

“Hey, I finished the job.” Mokou set the baskets down and went back for the other two. “Everyone I barbequed had it coming. But I’m not going to kill someone’s kids just because their dad is a murderous bastard that needed to be slow-cooked inside his own armor.”

“Which is what you did to him.”

“Well, yeah.”

“Uh-huh. And how did that little bit of mercy turn out?”

Mokou shrugged. “Look, if it wasn’t the Sonozikas, it would be someone else. They do this shit all time. You could set your calendar to whether or not the Human Village hates youkai.”

“Yeah, you Humans are weird. At least we keep our grudges personal.”

Setting the last two baskets down, Mokou shut the back door. “So do I, if you’ll remember.”

“Yeah, speaking of which, you wanna know what Kaguya’s been up too?”

Mokou had to take several seconds to breathe in deeply and slowly exhale. “I,” she said icily, “could not give less of a shit.”

“Oh, come on! Aren’t you at least a little curious?”

“I’m done with Kaguya,” Mokou said flatly. “That’s the whole point, remember?”

Tewi grinned in that insufferably disbelieving way of hers. “Yeeeeaaaahhhhh, bullshit.”

Mokou leaned up against the door and folded her arms. “Think what you want. I’m done. She can go back to the Moon for all I care.”

“Uh-huh. Okay, fine.”

Silence fell between them. Tewi remained seated on the counter, her legs swinging, while Mokou stayed where she was, leaning nonchalantly against the door.

She reached into her pocket but frowned when she remembered that she had just smoked her last cigarette earlier. Damn. She made a mental note to tell Joshua to pick her up a new pack tomorrow.

Then she glanced at Tewi, who was still idly swinging her legs while her head bobbed from side to side as she hummed a nonsensical tune, seemingly without a care in the world.

Then Mokou sighed. Damn it. “Okay, fine,” she said. “Tell me what the moonbitch has been up to.”

Tewi grinned in triumph. “Pottery!”

“Eh?”

“I’m serious. She’s, like, majorly into pottery now. She’s been spending every day with heaps of clay, just shaping pot after pot after pot. They’re not even that good. She doesn’t even paint them or anything, and doesn’t seem to care about them once they’re done. When she has too many, she just throws them away to make more room.”

“Oh really?”

“Oh yeah. At least it’s better than her last hobby.”

Mokou scratched the back of her neck. “I heard she started to fancy herself as a playwright.”

“Ha! See? You do care.” Tewi sighed. “And yup. She did.”

“Dare I ask what her little dramas were about?”

“Her, mostly. About her killing you once and for all. Or making you her slave. Or conquering the Moon. Or about all the princesses of the world falling madly in love with her and becoming her personal harem. You know. Stuff like that.”

Which was more or less exactly the sort of thing Kaguya would probably write. “Any of them any good?”

Tewi hesitated. “They…have their fans.”

“So no.”

“Oh, gods no, they were awful.”

Mokou found herself smirking. “So basically what you’re telling me is that Princess Kaguya is bored out of her mind.”

“Oh, totally. You don’t just wage eternal war against your hated rival for centuries and expect to cope when it’s suddenly over.”

“Ha! So, I get to enjoy my live peacefully here and still torture her. Best of both worlds.”

“Well, you know what they say about living well. At least I don’t have to help clear away charred rubble and rebuild Eientei every couple of months anymore.” Then something incredibly rare happened, something that Mokou had only seen a handful of times in her lifetime, and her lifetime had provided plenty of opportunities for just about anything to happen: Tewi’s face turned serious. “Though, hey, Mokou. Need to tell you something.”

Mokou tilted her head to one side and frowned.

“Something’s…up. Nothing to do with us or Kaguya or anything, but still: something’s up.”

“Something? What kind of something specifically?”

Tewi shook her head. “I don’t know exactly, but I know a guy who knows a girl whose cousin’s girlfriend said something about some weird shit going down in the Youkai Forest.”

Mokou pursed her lips. Given how wild it was, the forests of Gensokyo were not to be traveled lightly. The Bamboo Forest of the Lost from which Tewi hailed from was probably the safest, and that one was notorious for perplexing unwary travelers. Everyone knew to never go into the Forest of Magic unless they wanted their blood drank and soul stolen away. In times past and present, it had served as a sanctuary for some of Gensokyo’s most notorious monsters, from Shinji the Silver Tongued to Madam Mima, and the stain of their presence still lingered centuries after their deaths, quite literally in Madam Mima’s case. Even Mokou, who was accustomed to wandering the dangerous corners of the world, preferred to give it a wide berth.

And then there was the Youkai Forest. It wasn’t quite as bad as the Forest of Magic. At least, it didn’t have a reputation to homing any of Gensokyo’s Most Wanted. But it was still plenty dangerous, with many dark spirits and strange ongoings taking place beneath its sunlight-choking canopy. And its borders sat just a little too close to the Children’s Home for Mokou’s comfort. In the past, youkai have ventured out to take orphans. It hadn’t happened for quite a while, and certainly never since Mokou had arrived, but it had happened. And the rest of the Human population wasn’t exactly as mindful about the orphanage’s safety as they once had been.

Tewi’s information might be around fifth-hand, but whenever she took something seriously, she always had good reason to.

“Anything in specific you’ve heard?” Mokou asked. “Any details?”

Tewi shook her head. “Not much. Just that something has got folks in there excited. And, well, look: the youkai in there might be a bunch of morbid weirdoes, but most of them just want to be left alone. Don’t bother them, and they won’t rip your face off and use it as a doily. But there are a few of the really nasty types in there, ones that I think might actually try something.”

“You don’t have to tell me of that sort,” Mokou growled. “Believe me, I know.”

“Yeah, you would, wouldn’t you? Anyway, I don’t know exactly is going down, but…keep an eye out, okay?”

“I will,” Mokou promised. “Thanks.”

“Notta problem.” Tewi hopped off the counter. “If it keeps you happy and not burning things over on our turf.” She picked up her mallet and lantern. “Anyways, Imma split. Try not to burn the place down.”

“That I won’t,” Mokou said as she got the door for her.

Mokou watched as Tewi wandered off into the night. It wasn’t until the light from the lantern had disappeared entirely that she took her eyes off of the road.

Then she glanced off toward the horizon. The Children’s Home was surrounded by mostly rolling fields of grass, which was ideal for the kids. It gave them plenty of room to run around, and made it easier to keep an eye on them.

But beyond that was the gnarled trees and long shadows of the Youkai Forest. And like Tewi said, there were plenty of monsters lurking within.

Mokou ought to know. It wasn’t so long ago that she was counted as one of them.

Usually when the kids were taken to market, Mokou would stay behind. Preparing the day’s meals took a lot of time and work, and even if it didn’t, she hated crowds on principle and never did well with large numbers of other Humans. It just brought back too many bad memories. However, she decided that she just might come along this one time. If something was up, then this was the best to get to the root of things.

…

“All right, children!” Miss Satoko called. She clapped her hands together. “Two lines, that’s it. All together now!”

Most of the children obeyed. Others did not.

Shaking her head, Mokou pressed a couple fingers against her mouth and whistled shrilly.

The rest of the children hurried over to line up.

“Thank you, Mokou,” Miss Satoko said. She nodded to the town guards that had come to escort them. “All right, now let’s go!”

Technically speaking, the orphanage was still within the land claimed by the Human Village and there was little between it and the market other than distance, but that was no excuse to be lax in the orphans’ protection. It would take an especially foolish youkai to attack them this far into Human territory, but unfortunately foolishness was one trait that youkai did not lack in.

As everyone took their places, Rumia stole a glance at the guards. She had never paid them much mind before in trips past, but after what Miss Mokou had said, she was curious.

There was two of them, as always. They looked older than most of the grown-ups that Rumia knew, even older than Miss Haruna. What good they would do if something came at them, she didn’t have the slightest idea. However, they didn’t seem to mind being there at least.

In addition to the guards, three of the grown-ups were going with them as well. Miss Satoko was in the lead as always. She wasn’t as old as Ms. Haruna, but she was still pretty old, with her greying hair tied up in a neat bun tied with a pair of sticks and a well-wrinkled face. She was wearing a red blouse, a black skirt, and had a bamboo kasa on her head.

Walking with her was a man wearing well-worn grey jeans and a white shirt, with a religious symbol hanging from a necklace beneath his shirt. He was Mr. Joshua Stump, the only grown man working at the orphanage. But that wasn’t the only thing that set him apart.

Mr. Joshua was an Outsider, someone who had not been born in Gensokyo but had ended up trapped after wandering in by accident. He certainly looked pretty weird. Apparently the average adult height outside of the Hakurei Barrier was a bit taller than most Genokyians, but Mr. Joshua was short even by local standards, in that Rumia’s eyes were often level with his chin. And his last name was very appropriate, as he looked like a tree stump, with skin so dark that it looked like he had been burnt and thick, gnarled muscle that spoke of a life of physical labor. Apparently he had worked as a construction worker, but didn’t like talking about his past much beyond that. His big black beard was thick and curly, while his eyes were bright brown.

All in all, Mr. Joshua was not exactly what one would call attractive, but Rumia still liked him a lot. He was incredibly nice and fun to play with, and seemed to have limitless tolerance for their jokes. Okay, so his religion was really weird, but that was fine, and he had plenty of great stories. Most of the time he worked as the orphanage’s handyman, repairing anything that needed fixing and improving anything that he could. All things considered, Rumia and the rest kept him very busy.

Next to him was a pretty young woman with a cheery round face, bright blue eyes, and short, curly pink hair. She was wearing a sky-blue robe faded in places to resemble clouds and a wide-brimmed bonnet tied with a pink ribbon. She was Ms. Haruhi Kijoko, who split her time conducting lessons, supervising playtime, and trying to keep the place clean.

Ms. Haruhi had actually grown up in the orphanage, and had opted to stay and help once she had come of age. That just seemed weird to Rumia. She had been free to go wherever she wanted, and she just decided to stay? Forever? Granted, Rumia didn’t have anything against the place; after all, it was the only home she had ever known. But there was a whole world out there. Why wouldn’t anyone want to go see it.

All told, none of them looked especially intimidating. Ms. Satoko was tough, yes, but not especially scary. Ms. Haruhi could be grouchy and stubborn when someone really got on her nerves, but that wouldn’t deter any possible attackers. And sure, Mr. Joshua was strong, but Rumia honestly couldn’t picture him actually fighting anyone.

Then she glanced over to Miss Mokou, who was trailing the group with her hands stuck into the pockets of her baggy red suspenders. Now there was someone who was appropriately scary. Ms. Mokou wasn’t particularly big or muscly, but there was always something about her that felt, well, dangerous. She had a sort of faraway look in her eyes, like she wasn’t really paying attention to anything going on around her, but Rumia knew better. Mokou was keeping track of everything around them. If she had a reason to suspect that something was up, then nothing got past her.

Rumia remembered a time a few months after she, Kohta, and Keine had found Mokou’s badly hurt body in the snow and dragged her back to the house. They had come across her one warm spring afternoon reclining against a tree with her eyes closed, apparently fast asleep. A whispered conversation had followed, a wooden bucket retrieved and filled with water, which was then stealthily taken over to the napping Miss Mokou.

They got as far as lifting it up over her head when she, without moving or even opening her eyes, had murmured, “Don’t even think about it.”

That had raised many questions. Had she really been asleep at all? Was she aware of them the whole time and simply let them get as far as they had just to pull the rug out from under them?

Regardless, they had figured that since they had gotten that far, they might as well go through with it and dump the water anyway. That day had ended with Miss Mokou heading back to the house with a smug look on her face, three bewildered children tucked under her arms, and not a single wet hair on her head.

They still had no idea how she had done it.

But while Rumia certainly felt safer with Miss Mokou around than with the decrepit guards, she was very curious as to why the cook was going along in the first place. Miss Mokou never went to market with the rest of them. Hell, Rumia couldn’t remember her ever even leaving the orphanage since she had shown up.

So she decided to ask her.

Rumia hung back a bit until the rest of the girl’s line has passed her up and Miss Mokou was next to her. “So,” Rumia said. “Why’re you coming along?”

Miss Mokou looked amused. “Why? Worried I’ll bust whatever little heist you’re planning today?”

“Nah, no plans like that today,” Rumia said. “Too many people. But even so, you never go to market. Why today?”

Miss Mokou shrugged. “Had a bad feeling. Figured someone might try something today, so might as well be there to put a stop to it.”

“Is that so.”

“Yup.”

“Uh, what someone, exactly?”

“Dunno,” Miss Mokou said. “They haven’t done it yet.” She then gave the back of Rumia’s shoulders a gentle shove. “Now stop lagging.”

Sighing, Rumia hurried back to her place in front of Keine and next to Kohta.

In times past, they would go to the big market inside of the Human Village. In times past, they would have at least six guards show up to escort them, and they tended to be young and tough looking. But for some reason, they had stopped letting the orphans in, so they had to go to the smaller general market that was more-or-less in the center of the Human lands. It was there that people from the smaller towns, villages, and hamlets would go to buy and sell. No one had really explained why that had changed or why the quality of guards had dropped. There had just been a few months without any market trips, and when they started up again it was at a different market.

A lot of the other kids had been disappointed. Haruko especially had thrown a fit. Apparently she had had her eye on a crystal comb in the shape of a multi-colored butterfly that she had been saving up for that she now would never get to buy. Rumia, however, had actually liked the change. Sure, the trinkets sold there weren’t as pretty and everything seemed second-rate in comparison, but it was filled with folks who lived out in the rougher parts of Gensokyo, places that were closer to the wild magic. As such, things were a whole lot weirder.

The market was set up as sort of a long road bordered by makeshift wooden frames draped with cloths, furs, or leather, forming two rows of tents. And along the tents were several stalls set up by anyone who did most of their business there, while those who didn’t have enough merchandise to justify a stall wandered around with full bags or loaded backs. Food stalls sold freshly harvested vegetables, caught fish, slaughtered meats, bags of rice, baked bread, sweet treats, or fully cooked meals. Some stalls sold clothing, some sold tools, others sold raw materials such as lumber or glass or brick. There were even a few that specialized in things other than the essentials, though those were in the minority.

Kohta nudged Rumia and Keine and pointed. One stall was dedicated to hand-carved wooden toys. They were rougher than the kind found within the village market and were unpainted, but that didn’t make them any less cool.

And one in particular had drawn their attention the last time they were there, that of a big, fat animal with big flapping ears, a tiny little tail, a stupidly long nose, and two big horns coming out of its mouth.

Back at the orphanage, there was a worn picture book called Roy’s Big Top Mystery. Apparently it had come from the outside world, and it took place in a very weird looking type of festival that they had outside of the Hakurei Barrier called a “circus.” Rumia and her friends had always been entranced by the images of colorful tents, flashing games, gaudily dressed performers, and exotic animals, the likes of which weren’t seen in Gensokyo.

One in particular was called an “elephant.” Rumia had half-expected it to just be a tale, a mythical beast added to the book to give it a bit of flavor. However, Mr. Joshua had confirmed that elephants were very much real.

That had been an eye-opener. Rumia had been told by Mr. Joshua and Melissa Garcia that magic was in very short supply in the Outside World, and that people there would consider Gensokyo to be a mythical land full of wonders. But the Outside World had elephants! What fairies compared to that?

At any rate, over the last year or so she and her friends had been working on a personal project: make a circus of their own. They had built tents from sticks and paper decorated with wildflowers and filled it with people made from the same materials. None of it ever looked particularly realistic, but screw it, it was good enough for them. Still, having a genuine elephant would definitely bring the whole thing together.

She turned toward Kohta and Keine. “Okay,” she said. “Got yours?”

Kohta nodded and pulled out a bag of coins out of his pocket. Keine took out one of her own. Rumia took out hers. Spending money was hard to come by in the orphanage, but between the three of them they had managed to pull together enough to get their little circus its own elephant.

Rumia carefully counted out the collected coins. Then she hurried over to the stall.

The toy merchant was leaning back on his stool and smoking a long-stemmed pipe with his eyes closed. Rumia stoop on her tiptoes to peer over the stall. “Um, excuse me!” she said, waving her hand back and forth. “Hello!”

The merchant opened his eyes. Then when he saw who had interrupted his rest his brow deepened into a scowl.

“What?”

Rumia dumped the coins onto the counter. “We’ll take the big fat guy!” she said, pointing at the elephant.

The merchant looked at her, then to the small pile of coins, and then at the wooden animal. “Where did you get this money?” he said.

“Does it matter?” Rumia said, and a little indignantly at that. Sure, the three of them could be a little grabby with things that technically did not belong to them, but they had earned their savings the honest way. Specifically, through a collection of odd jobs and errands done for the caretakers, and as someone who was principally opposed to that level of degradation, Rumia felt that they had earned every last bit. “Money’s money!”

The merchant pushed the coins around with his finger. Then he shrugged. “Sorry kid. This ain’t enough.”

“What?” Kohta said. “Wait, the last time we were here you said it cost four thousand five hundred yen! And we have four thousand five hundred yen!”

“That was then,” the merchant said as he leaned back again. “This is now. Price went up to seven thousand yen!”

“Wha-No it didn’t!” Rumia sputtered. “You’re just saying that because you don’t like us!”

The merchant used his palm to swipe their hard-earned coins off the counter and onto the ground. “Beat it, youkai-tainted.”

Next to Rumia, Keine went stiff.

“What,” Rumia said, “did you call us?”

“I said beat it! Don’t make me call the market guards.”

Rumia opened her mouth to fully earn getting dragged away, but then Keine grabbed her by the arm. “Let’s just go,” Keine whispered.

Kohta’s clenched fist was shaking. “Are you just gonna let this-”

“Kohta!” Keine hissed. “It’s not worth it. Let’s go!”

“You heard your friend,” the merchant said, shooing them away. “Get lost.”

To be perfectly frank, Rumia would rather get dragged away and kicked out of the market for good than to willingly submit and retreat with her tail tucked between her legs. The thought of that kind of humiliation was almost too much to bear.

But while she was perfectly fine with getting into trouble for the sake of her pride, causing a commotion would draw too much attention to them, to Keine.

And they weren’t about to risk blowing her secret.

Though her face was burning so hot that steam had to be coming out of her ears, Rumia bit back the torrent of verbal abuse she wished to unleash. So she just knelt down and started to pick up the fallen coins out of the dirt. Kohta and Keine helped her get them back into the bag, and the three of them walked away.

It wasn’t until they were fully out of the merchant’s earshot that Kohta muttered, “That sucked.”

“No shit,” Rumia responded.

“Do you think he, uh, knows?”

Rumia glanced at Keine, who was staring down at the ground. “No. I think this is what Miss Mokou was talking about. You know, about idiots?”

“Why though? What’d we ever do to them?”

“Who knows? They’re stupid. Stupid people don’t need a reason to be stupid.”

“Well, I think it’s obvious!”

The three of them stopped. Then their faces twisted into scowls of annoyance and they all turned.

Their mortal enemies were there. Haruko was smirking at them with her arms folded, Hayate standing to her left with one hand on her hip and Eiko snickering at her right.

“We saw what happened,” Haruko said. “And you know what? I get it. That guy didn’t want you driving off all his customers with your ugly faces!”

“Piss of, Haruko,” Rumia snapped. As a retort, it fell short of her normal standards, but she was in a bad mood.

“Hey, hey, hey, chill out!” Eiko said. “Don’t get mad just because the people here have standards!”

“Then why are you still here?” Kohta said. “I mean, anyone that knows better would’ve tossed your ugly asses out from the start!”

“Hmph.” Haruko gave her auburn hair a flick. “That’s obvious too. They know class when they see it.”

“Then prove it!” Rumia said. “You try to buy something!”

“I will!” Haruko said in a haughty tone. “As a matter of fact, there’s something I’ve had my eye on for a while! Just watch.”

The three of them sauntered off to a nearby cosmetics stall, one that sold things like ribbons to perfumes to really shiny makeup.

“Um, Rumia?” Keine said. “How is this going to prove anything?”

“Just watch,” Rumia said.

“But what if it’s just that guy? I mean, the other stalls probably aren’t like him too.”

Rumia didn’t say anything. She just waited.

Much like Rumia had done earlier at the toy stall, Haruko waved her hand to get the attention of the proprietors, this one a gaudily dressed woman wearing more ribbons that she probably had on display.

As Rumia watched, Haruko pointed to a long ribbon of white silk. She pulled a handful of notes out of her pocket and offered them to the woman.

The woman looked at her, at the comb, and then Haruko. Then she rolled her eyes and said something that looked biting.

Rumia couldn’t help but smirk as Haruko stiffened in shock. Then she and her friends began arguing. Though the actual words were hard to make out over the babble of the market, Rumia was able to catch the words, “Stupid fat cow!” and, “Go and boil your head!”

The next moment, a large man seemed to appear out of nowhere. He placed himself between

“Um, excuse…us. What is happening at this place?”

It was two more girls from the orphanage, specifically Melissa Garcia and Kana Anaberal. Melissa was the only child there that technically wasn’t an orphan, but instead had originally come from the Outside World and had gotten stuck in Gensokyo. As she had no other place left to go, the orphanage had taken her in. And because she hadn’t been born in Gensokyo, she looked…weird. Despite being only a year older than Rumia and her friends, she was a full head taller, and her skin was almost as dark as Mr. Joshua’s. Plus, she didn’t speak a lick of Japanese when she had first arrived. She did okay now, but talking to people still took some effort.

Next to her was the closest Melissa had to a best friend, a small, pale girl with long and curly blonde hair. Kana Anaberal was, to put it bluntly, a weirdo. She always seemed to be in a different place than everyone else, staring at things that weren’t there and talking about things that had nothing to do with anything that was going on. Rumia didn’t dislike her exactly, but just talking to her was a mentally taxing experience.

“The…the store people will not speak to us,” Melissa said. “They say…go away. They not…they do not let us buy.”

“Perhaps it is the fairy dust,” Kana said without looking at anyone in particular.

“Yeah, same with us,” Kohta said. “Looks like they don’t-Wait. Hold on. What fairy dust?”

In answer, Kana held up both palms, which were covering with tiny sparkling grains of something, like glass sand. “This. Maybe they are allergic?”

“Uh…” Rumia and her friends all glanced at one another. “Why are you hands covered with fairy dust?”

“To help me fly! We start flying lessons soon, do we not?”

“Er, well, yeah,” Keine said. “But I don’t think fairy dust will help.”

“Oh, I think it will.”

“Where did you even get that?” Rumia said. “You’re not tearing off fairy wings, aren’t you?”

“From the kitchen,” Kana said. “They have lots!”

“What?”

“It is not fairy, uh, dust,” Melissa said in exasperation. “It is just sugar.”

“Sugar is fairy dust,” Kana said. “Same thing, really.”

“No,” Rumia said.

“Yes,” Kana said. She smiled.

“Um, all right,” Rumia said, blinking. “Sure. Why not?” She then looked back to Melissa. “And we don’t know. They did the same to us and to Haruko and her friends. I guess they don’t like us here.”

Melissa sighed. “That is…shame. I was hoping to try magic box, but they will not let me even look at it!”

“Magic…box?”

Melissa pointed at a stall that offered items of a more mystical persuasion. Most of it seemed to be practical stuff like charms, wards, and blank spellcards, but they also had a handful of more exotic wares, like that silver wand encased in glass or that egg-shaped thing that glimmered with a myriad of different colors.

As for the box in question, it was a green chest the size of a woman’s jewelry box encased with bronze that sat upon the counter.

“Well, they probably have a point,” Rumia said dubiously. “I mean, it’s probably cursed.”

Melissa frowned. “Then why is just out there like that?”

“Maybe it’s a small curse? Like, the kind that just causes minor annoyances, like your foot gets a bitch of an itch on every other week or everything you eat tastes like it’s been left out overnight?”

Then they heard a sharp cackle. Standing nearby in the alley formed by two tents was an old, old woman, withered and hunched over. Most of her features were shrouded in a heavy black cloak, and she walked with the support of a gnarled cane.

“Is it magic you’re seeking, my little sweets?” the cloaked woman said. “Well, today is a most fortuitous day, for I have all the magic you could ever want!”

…

Something was off, and unfortunately Satoko knew exactly what it was.

As she stood off to the side to keep an eye on the children, she saw how they were being treated. In visits past, everyone had been more than happy to see them. The stallkeepers had enjoyed putting on a show for the children, offering silly discounts and the occasional free sample or sweet offering. Storytellers had regaled them with tales, while small-time magicians had shown off their tricks.

No longer. Now they were being turned away one right after the other. Satoko watched the merchants get gruff and unfriendly when they saw her kids in their grey uniforms. She saw the furrowed brows and whispers going on. She saw it out.

And the sad part was that this wasn’t the first time this had happened. It had been the same at the Human Village, in the weeks leading up to their eventual banning from entering.

Satoko wanted to go right up to those merchants and give them a piece of her mind. In fact, she had done just that the first time around. It hadn’t helped, and had only sped up their banishment, but someone had to say something.

However, now she knew better. Going after the locals would only be attacking the symptoms. She needed to go right after the cause.

She still had some friends in the Human Village. Not many, but they slipped her news of the comings and goings. And they had let her know that a certain someone was going to be making a rare trip outside the walls to this particular market today. He didn’t do that often, so she had made sure to schedule the orphanage’s trip for today.

Satoko let her eyes unfocus and drift over the crowd, not zeroing in on anyone in particular while taking note of anything that stood out.

Then she saw him.

Across the sea of stalls, wares, and faces, a short man with dark, curling hair and a protruding belly was walking around the stalls that specialized in sweets and snacks, eyeing the merchandise without ever actually buying anything. Not that he needed to, as one of the bakers had already given him a large honeycake to munch on for free. He was dressed in a dark blue robe and had on a tall, white hat trimmed with gold lace, one that was specifically tailored to hide the ever-increasing bald spot on the top of his head. Accompanying him were four guards who were considerably younger and more fit than the ones who had shown up to escort the children.

Satoko pursed her lips. Then she walked over to Mokou.

For her part, Mokou was staying in the shadows of one of the tents, out of sight. By the look of things she had also noticed how everything seemed off, and was probably thinking of doing something about it.

“Hey,” she said as Satoko approached. “Things usually this, ah, tense?”

Satoko shook her head. “It’s been getting worse, but no. This is new.”

“Want me to do something about it?”

“Not unless someone actually threatens the kids. We might have to leave early regardless. However, I might just have enough time to see to the root cause.” Satoko pointed.

Mokou peered over the heads of the crowd to see what she was pointing at. “Ah. Got it.” She smiled. “Well, go and kick his ass. I’ll keep an eye on things.”

Nodding her thanks, Satoko headed off to take care of business.

If she was spotted approaching, no doubt the entire entourage would make a hasty exit. So she ducked away from the main market lane and snuck behind the tents and stalls. No one paid her much heed as she hurried along, her head and shoulders bowed low.

Sure enough, when she did step back onto the main lane, her target had his back to her. He was speaking with a man and a woman that looked like they were farmers, no doubt to “hear” their concerns about something or another and offer up pretty words of sympathy and empty promises. What was more, his guards were mostly paying attention to the couple, and had not seen her yet.

Good.

The short man patted the taller farmer on the shoulder and said something. The two farmers bowed low and started to walk away, still nibbling on his cake

Seeing her chance, Satoko strode forward and called out, “Master Sonozika!”

Master Gendou Sonozika, the Leader of the Human Village and, by extension, the rest of Gensokyo’s Human population, instinctively turned toward her. When he saw who it was, his doughy face, already shining with sweat, turned pale, and the cake fell out of his hands. He started to turn away to bustle out of sight.

Oh, no he didn’t.

“Master Sonozika, wait!” Satoko called as she quickened her pace. Immediately Gendou Sonozika’s guards placed themselves between him and her, hands on the hilts of their swords.

However, Satoko was not to be deterred so easily. “Master Sonozika, I have been trying to gain an audience with you for months!” she called over the large men’s shoulders. “You’re not going to duck me any further!”

“I’m busy!” he shouted over his shoulder. “I’m a very busy man, so you can just wait your turn like everyone-”

“You coward!” Satoko shouted.

The general hubbub of the market had lowered when Satoko had first started shouting. This killed the rest entirely, as everyone, purveyor and purchaser alike, all turned to stare at the drama unfolding. Those who knew who Satoko was and why she was directly calling out the Human Leader in public were as entranced as the children were with the storyteller’s tale at the other end of the market, while those who didn’t were watching with both confusion and interest, eager to see what the fuss was all about.

As for Master Sonozika, he froze in mid-step. He was a lot of things, but thick-skinned was not one of them. Satoko knew enough about him through their increasingly infrequent dealings to know how much he hated being embarrassed, especially in front of everyone.

Sure enough, when he slowly turned toward her, his sweaty and pasty face had now turned bright red with indignation.

“Excuse me?” he said.

“You heard me!” Satoko called back. “Are you really so scared of an aging woman trying to take care of a bunch of parentless children that you won’t even hear her out?”

The shade of Gendou’s face darkened, and he looked about ready to order her to be carried off. But then he glanced at what was happening around him.

The onlookers were starting to whisper amongst themselves, and Satoko found that she was able to tell who was from the Human Village and who dwelt in one of the smaller settlements. By and large, those who hailed from the species’ capital looked annoyed by the insult. How dare she, they were no doubt thinking. How dare she openly insult the Leader like that? She knew well why he was refusing to speak with her. She had his answer, she knew why, so she ought to just accept it with grace!

But those who lived outside of the Human Village’s walls were of a different sort of mind. She saw several disapproving glances and scowls directed toward Master Sonozika as well. The last few years had brought along several changes to how the Humans interacted with their neighbors, and not all were in agreement. It was a little ironic, in that those who were most frequently at the mercy of Gensokyo’s wild denizens and thus were susceptible to various superstitions were actually less controlled by the fear of them. Sure, many of them could get on board with the strict anti-youkai rhetoric Master Sonozika often spouted. Even Satoko had found herself hard pressed to disagree, considering that her life was devoted to protecting the victims of youkai attacks. But what many of them could never understand is why that rhetoric extended to those victims.

Regardless, the challenge had been thrown down, and now everyone was watching. Gendou’s guards could stop Satoko from physically reaching him, but there was no blocking her words.

Gendou bristled, but he managed to refrain from lashing out. “Fine,” he growled. “But not here.” He pointed toward a nearby tent. “There.”

He stomped toward the tent, and thankfully the guards moved to let Satoko through. Sighing with nervous relief, she hurried after him, with the guards taking position outside the entrance.

Inside the tent several middle-aged men were sitting in a circle, playing a game that involved tossing several multi-colored clumps of herbs into a fire and taking bets on which color the resulting puff of smoke would take. They looked up in irritation as Master Sonozika and Satoko entered.

“Hey, this is a private-” one of them started to say, but then the words caught in his throat when he recognized the intruder. “Oh. Uh, M-Master Sonozika! This is an-”

“Out!” Master Sonozika barked.

He didn’t need to tell them twice. The group hastily obeyed, taking their herbs and money with them but leaving the fire. Master Sonozika sighed and extended his hand toward the flame. A bubble of condensed vacuum shot from his fingers to envelop the fire, swallowing all of the oxygen and snuffing it out. It then filled with the resulting cloud of smoke and rose up through the hole in the ceiling, leaving nothing but smoldering embers.

“All right, woman,” Master Sonozika growled as he sat down across from the fire’s remains. “You have your audience, waste of time though it may be. Say your piece so we can both go back to where we belong.”

Satoko was a very patient and very tolerant woman. One didn’t devote one’s life to looking after so many children without building up a healthy reserve of both. But there were certain attitudes for which she had neither. “You haven’t even heard what I want to say,” she said.

“Why should I?” Master Sonozika demanded. “I already know what it is. You want permission to move your entire orphanage inside the Human Village’s walls. And I already told you that we simply do not have-”

“You’ve expanded the Village’s borders twice in the last five years,” Satoko interrupted. “Twice! And I happen to know for a fact that the Human Village’s population growth isn’t anywhere near large enough to justify all that space.”

“It’s not just space, and do not interrupt me again if you want this conversation to continue,” Master Sonozika warned. “It’s also a matter of resources. If I recall, you’re looking after, what, nineteen of them?”

“Eighteen,” Satoko corrected.

“Eighteen then. Plus you, plus your…associates. That’s over twenty bodies, over twenty hungry mouths, all thrown into our community all at once!”

Satoko sighed. “I’m not asking you to feed them,” she said, though yes, that would have been appreciated. “We get by on our own, and can keep doing so. I’m just asking that you allow us the protection that literally everyone else gets. These children are the only ones that aren’t allowed in! Why? We’d been talking for years about moving the orphanage into the Village, but all of a sudden you just shut that down, refuse to let them even come in to visit, and won’t even see me to tell me why!”

Master Sonozika’s sagging jowls clenched up. “Do not presume to speak to me in such-”

“It was your idea! You were the one to suggested bringing the Children’s Home into the Village, remember? You told me that it was your responsibility to look after all Humans, especially youkai victims! What changed, Gendou? What changed?”

To this, Master Sonozika said nothing. He just glared.

“It was that man, isn’t it?” Satoko said.

There was a pause, and then Gendou said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I knew it,” Satoko sighed. “Ever since he showed up with his angry ideas and angry religion-”

“The Human Village opens its arms to all faiths!” Master Sonozika said. “Even the strange ones from the Outside!”

“So do I! One of them works at the orphanage, and you won’t find a kinder, more gentle soul! But the version spoken of by that man Skinner, all this talk of curses and taints and judgments, how can that be good?”

“Nathaniel Skinner has been nothing but a boon to the Human Village,” Master Sonozika said primly. “We may not share the same, ah, theologies, but I trust his judgment.”

“His judgment? That children that have lost their families to youkai attacks are somehow cursed? That letting them in the Village will spread this supposed curse?”

“Youkai are wily beasts,” Master Sonozika said in a prim tone. “You ought to know, you practically live among them.”

Satoko nearly snapped at him about how not all youkai were malicious monsters, that many were at worse just playful and mischievous, that many were in fact quite benevolent, but she didn’t. What good would it do to someone as pigheaded as Gendou Sonozika? “And one would think that someone who-” she stopped herself half-a-second before the word fear slipped from her tongue, “mistrusts youkai as you would be more sympathetic to their victims,” she said instead. “Most of these children lost their families to youkai attacks. You ought to be protecting them, to be sheltering them, not casting them out! How can you claim to protect Humans from the threat of youkai if you won’t lift a finger to help their most obvious victims?”

Anger flared up in Gendou Sonozika’s beady little eyes. “By reminding myself that I am responsible for Humanity as a whole, and not just a small handful. Sometimes, a limb must be lopped off to prevent the spread of infection. It is regrettable, yes, but I serve the greater good, and in service of that good, sometimes sacrifices must be made.”

Satoko Yume was not a violent person. Oh, she was not afraid to fight when provoked, and few things were more provoking than threatening the safety of her kids, but she was not given to violent urges. But she had never wanted to ball her fingers into a fist and thrust that first into the infuriating face of another Human more than she did at that moment in time.

She didn’t, though less out of principle and more out of the knowledge that doing so would only make things worse for her and her family. So instead, she yanked back on all of that anger, keeping it from bursting out, and reformed it, molding it from a red-hot explosion of fury into something sharper, something more focused, turning the flame into venom.

“It has been my experience,” Satoko said, lacing every syllable with that venom. “That those who speak of the necessity of making sacrifices never think to include themselves as possible sacrifices. Only others.”

“Satoko, do not-”

“And what if it was your family, your children, that was afflicted with this curse, this taint? Would you be so quick to sacrifice them as well?”

Gendou Sonozika abruptly stood up. “Enough,” he growled.

Satoko was on her feet as well, but a moment later she realized that one word was more than just a command, it was a signal to the guards waiting outside, because moments later she felt thick, strong hands wrap themselves around her slender biceps.

Still, she didn’t break gaze with the Human Leader, and though it was childish, she did take some small petty pleasure over how much he had to incline his head to meet her gaze.

“This conversation,” he seethed through clenched teeth, “is over. The answer is no, and it’s always going to be no. Do not waste my time again.”

A few seconds ticked by, and then Satoko bowed her head. “Of course,” she said. “My…apologies.” She stared at the smear of honey still on his upper lip. “I can, of course, see how valuable your time is.”

…

“Look at this, my sweet little thing,” the shrouded woman cooed. From within her cloak she withdrew a necklace. Its centerpiece was a clear crystal in the shape of a teardrop set in a cage made from loops of gold. “The secret to eternal life.”

Rumia quirked an eyebrow. The necklace was certainly pretty, but that was quite the claim. She glanced over to Kohta, who looked just as incredulous as she was, and then to Keine, who seemed a little more interested.

Kana, however, was absolutely fascinated. “Oh, is that so?” she said. “It’s so pretty!”

“Ah, it is, isn’t it?” The shrouded woman’s hand gently ran over the golden crystal, caressing its facets. “But its value lies not in its beauty, but in what it provides! Life after death, for as long as you like.”

“Wait, hold up,” Kohta said. “You just said that this thing’ll give us eternal life. Now you’re saying that we’ll dies anyway?”

The shrouded woman shrugged. “What is death, but a natural transition from one state of being to another? When our bodies expire, our souls depart for the River Suzune to be taken to be judged. But what if they didn’t? What if, after leaving our bodies, we could stay? Thinks about it. You’d never have to leave your friends, never have to worry about getting sick or growing old. You would get to be good little girls and good little boys. Forever.”

“As ghosts,” Rumia said flatly.

Melissa shot her a confused look. “I am…sorry. I do not know this word. What is…ghosts?”

“Really, Melissa? Out of all the words…” Rumia sighed. “Um, ghosts. You know, souls of dead people walking around.” She wiggled her fingers in the air. “Ooooooooooo!”

Melissa’s eyes widened. “Oh! El fantasma! These are…” Her face scrunched up as she mentally searched for the right word. “These are real here?”

Kohta rolled his eyes.

“Real?” For a second the shrouded lady dropped her weird, singsong way of talking and just sounded confused. “Of course they’re real. My grandma used to have to clear the damned things out of her cellar all the time. Why wouldn’t they be real?”

“For shit’s sake,” Kohta muttered.

“She’s…from the Outside World,” Rumia told her. “I guess they don’t have ghosts there.”

“We…We do!” Melissa said, albeit a bit defensively. “But mostly in, um, what is the word, stories, right?”

“Right.”

“Yes, in stories! I have never seen them though.”

“Yeah, well, you’re lucky then. Seriously though, who would want to be a ghost? They just wander around annoying people. Which, okay, would be fun for like a week, but after that…”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Kana mused. “It seems like a fine time!

“Ah! But you see, that this the genius of this magic crystal. For most ghosts are merely wicked spirits that refused to cross the River Suzune and thus degraded, losing all sense of who and what they were. Who would want to go on such a state?”

“Not all of them,” Keine said. “Poltergeists don’t.”

“Polter-what?” Melissa said.

“Keine, seriously?” Kohta said.

“You understand!” The shrouded lady jabbed a finger at Keine and cackled. “Yes, poltergeists keep their shape, their names, and their memories. But they are mere shades, copies of those who have passed! The souls have still passed on.” She lovingly pressed the crystal against her cheek and sighed. “But with this…with this, you need not fear this at all! With this enchantment, a poltergeist will still be created from your death, yes, but it will contain your soul! The two will remain one forever and ever, and you will never-”

“-ever come near these kids again if you know what’s good for you,” growled Miss Mokou as she seized the shrouded lady by the back of her cloak and lifted her high into the air with one hand. “Because if you do, you’re gonna find out just how well that little bauble of yours works. And given the quality of most of the crap around here, I don’t think that’s a die you wanna throw. Got it?”

Rumia, Kohta, and Keine all blanched. Where in the hell had she come from? One moment it had just been them, and the next Miss Mokou was simply there, filling the space behind the cloaked woman.

Then Rumia noticed something else out of place. While the woman had first approached them at the opening of the alley, they were now almost all the way down its length. She had been leading them away from the market as they talked, and they hadn’t even noticed. As someone who prided herself in the fine art of trickery, Rumia was both impressed and deeply freaked out.

Judging by the panicked look on the cloaked woman’s face, it was clear that she was just as taken by surprise as they all were. “Let me go!” she squealed as she futilely swung her hands about. “Let me go or I swear-”

Then she caught sight of Miss Mokou’s face. “You!” she gasped.

Miss Mokou’s eyes flashed. And by that, she didn’t just get even more angry. No, they literally flashed, sparks shooting through her maroon corneas like a stone striking flint. “Good, you recognize me,” she said as she gripped the cloaked woman’s face with her other hand, squeezing the cheeks and holding her jaw shut. “Then you probably know the sort of things I’m good at. So I’m gonna give you this one warning: you run off now and never, ever come near any of these kids again, or you get to find out firsthand how true the stories are. Understand?”

The cloaked woman quickly nodded.

Miss Mokou released just a little pressure on her face. “I want to hear you say it.”

“I understand!” the cloaked woman squeaked. “I’ll leave them alone, I swear!”

“Good.” Then Miss Mokou hurled her all the way down the alley. “Now get!”

The cloaked woman hastily gathered herself up and scampered away. Also, she had suddenly lost the hunch in her back and the need for her cane.

Rumia was struck speechless. She knew that that Miss Mokou had a nasty past. She knew that she was probably a scary person. But she had never thought that she was that scary.

The others were just as stunned. And terrified.

Miss Mokou was panting heavily. Not from exertion though. Rather, she seemed to be working very hard to pull something back, as if just scaring that woman had almost let something out, something she had been straining to conceal this whole time.

Rumia exchanged uncomfortable looks with Kohta. Melissa was literally shaking in her shoes. Even Kana, who never seemed to be on the same page as anyone, was cowering behind Kohta.

As for Keine, she nervously cleared her throat and ventured with, “Uh, M-Miss Mokou…”

Miss Mokou held up a palm, stopping her. She straightened up and squeezed her eyes shut. Every muscle in her body went tense.

Rumia involuntarily braced herself.

But then Miss Mokou relaxed. She let out the breath she had been holding in a long, belabored sigh. She didn’t open her eyes though. “Okay,” she said, her voice calm but incredibly scary. “Now, whose dumbass idea was it to separate from the rest of the group and go off with the creepy old lady and potentially end the day baked into a pie crust?”

Rumia reflexively started to raise her hand, as did Kohta and Keine. But Kana suddenly stepped forward. “It was me,” she admitted.

Rumia stared at her in surprise, and she wasn’t the only one. Even Miss Mokou seemed taken back by Kana’s sudden bout of lunacy.

“She said she knew how to make someone live forever,” Kana said. “And, well, with all the things I’ve been hearing about how the youkai have us marked, I thought…” She scuffed the ground with her shoe. “Well, I thought…”

All of the anger went out of Miss Mokou’s face. “Oh, for the love of-” Then she sighed and knelt down in front of Kana. Placing a hand on the blonde girl’s shoulder, Miss Mokou said, “Look, Kana. You’re going to hear people say a lot of things, and most of it is totally stupid. I’ve heard people talk too, about how just because youkai got your families it means that you are somehow tainted. And guess what? It’s all bullshit, a dumb story made up by dumb people. There are dangerous youkai out there, yes, but they’re after any of you more than anyone else. Even the meanest, nastiest ones are just looking for an easy meal, and they won’t bother you if you stay where it’s safe.”

Kana looked less than reassured. “Okay. But-”

“Also, if someone starts talking to you about living forever, that’s a sure sign that they’re full of crap,” Miss Mokou continued. “Ninety-nine percent of the time it’s just some obvious scam that ends up getting some overconfident fool killed anyway while the person who sold it to them runs away laughing. And even in the one percent of times that it’s legit…” The muscles in Miss Mokou’s jaw tightened. “Well. Living forever isn’t like the stories made it out to be.”

“But dying is worse!” Kana blurted out. “You can be the best person ever, you can take care of yourself and do everything healthy, but you still die, and then everyone you love is left alone! How is that fair?”

Miss Mokou sighed. “It ain’t. None of it is. But neither is being the one left alone after everyone you love is gone.” She took Kana by the hand. “Come on, kids. Forget this nonsense about living forever, and for the love of all that is sane, if you’re worried about dying, then don’t follow creepy freaks into alleys! That’s like one of the first rules about self-preservation, which is something you all could stand to have a little more of.”

…

Joshua Stump looked at the list in his hand. Haruhi was taking care of food, Mokou was supposed to be handling the fabrics, so he had been given responsibility of the odds and ends.

And there were quite a few. They needed nails, paint, more lumber, as well as cigarettes for Mokou. He couldn’t stand the smell of the things and didn’t know why she liked them so much, but that was her business, and as far as he was concerned she had earned the right to her vices.

As Joshua wandered the stalls, he took a turn that brought him through a sort of alleyway between two tents. And as he did, he found himself running into the principle reason for his dislike of tobacco.

He smelled him before he saw him, the thick, cloying scent of cigar smoke mixed with the sickly sweet stench of patchoulis, with just a hint of sweat. It was a bizarre mixture, and not in the slightest bit pleasant.

Joshua winced. He knew that he ought not shun another brother in Christ, especially considering how few of them there were in Gensokyo, but there was something about Nathaniel Skinner that made him profoundly uncomfortable.

Then a heavy hand sheathed in a thick leather glove clapped him on the shoulder. “Ah, brother Joshua!” Skinner said in his deep, smooth voice. “I was hoping to see you here.”

Sighing, Joshua turned around.

Nathaniel Skinner was, like Joshua, an Outsider, someone who had been born outside of Gensokyo only to later wander in and become stuck. He was a white man from America apparently, one that would have been considered noticeably tall back home, but here, where the average height was several centimeters shorter, he towered over everyone. He had a thick, golden beard, a ruddy complexion, and piercing blue eyes that he had recently taken to shrouding with a pair of round-lensed sunglasses. As always, he was wearing a long, brown trench coat; brown gloves, a brown hat with a wide brim; thick brown boots; a white shirt; and blue jeans. Around his neck hung a large silver crucifix, though unlike Joshua’s this one was not empty and a tiny Jesus hanging suspended from it, his arms outstretched and his face twisted into a cry of pure agony. One gloved hand was clutching it tightly.

“Nathaniel,” Joshua said with as much warmth as he could muster.

Skinner smiled. “Brother Nathaniel,” he corrected. “That is what we are, is we not?”

He moved to embrace Joshua. Joshua, who had been anticipating this, tolerated and returned the gesture.

“Of course,” Joshua said. “So, what brings you here? You’re not usually one to go to market.”

Skinner placed his hands on his hips and sighed. “No, I’m not. Actually, I rarely leave the Human Village these days.”

“So I’ve heard.”

“Have you?” Skinner reached up with one hand and took off his sunglasses, revealing his pale blue eyes. Joshua frankly wished that he had left them on. “I imagine you’ve been hearing some other things as well.”

Joshua shrugged. “Well, I heard you’ve become very close with Master Sonozika. He seems to value your opinion.”

Tapping his folded-up sunglasses against his palm, Skinner glanced out through the alley at the people. “Well, yes. Gendou is…a surprisingly smart man for someone native to this…this place. Very perceptive. That’s why I’m here, actually. He asked me to accompany him, to take a look at things and offer my…opinion.”

“Oh? Looking to spread the good news, then?”

Skinner’s brow furrowed up in puzzlement. “Pardon?”

“The good news,” Joshua repeated. “Of Jesus Christ.”

There was a pause, and then Skinner put his sunglasses back on. “Oh. Of course. Always.” He glanced back at the crowd and sighed. “Walk with me, Brother Joshua.”

The two Outsiders moved away from the bustle of the crowd. As they did, Skinner said, “Have you given any thought to my suggestions?”

Joshua sighed. “You mean, leave the orphanage, move into the Village, be part of your, um, your…”

“Church,” Skinner said. “Fellowship. Brotherhood.”

“Right. That.”

“There are so few Christians here in this…this forsaken country. We need to stick together, you know. Safety in numbers. And strength.”

Safety. Strength. Words of a threatened man. “I see.”

“I’ve been slowly building a congregation there. Most don’t want to hear the Gospel. They keep to their backwater superstitions and shut out the Word.”

“Well, it’s hard to blame them,” Joshua said. “I mean, you call them superstitions, but when you can actually go up to one of their gods and introduce yourself…”

Skinner came to an abrupt stop.

“Theirs gods…” Skinner repeated in disbelief. “There is one God, Brother Joshua. Only one.”

Joshua sighed. “Of course.”

“These spirits of theirs, these gods and fairies and youkai…you know, there is a word for a spirits not aligned with the Father.”

Maybe so, but it did seem that most of the local “demons” did more to help the orphanage than the actual Humans. Donations and other forms of support from the Human Village had been on a steep decline over the last few years. Right.

“You would do well to remember that,” Skinner continued. “That’s why I think you ought to join me. I worry about you, you know. You are often in my prayers.”

The opposite was true as well, though Joshua doubted that Skinner’s prayers for him used the same language.

“Oh?” Joshua said.

Skinner nodded. “Having someone as strong in their faith as you around would be…be helpful, yes, but you live so far out in the Wilds, out in those savage and untamed lands, with so many wicked spirits about. It’s dangerous, Brother Joshua. The Human Village…” He shrugged. “Well, it’s not exactly Philadelphia, but it’s the best that this godforsaken place has. Out there…you never know when the demonic forces might come calling.”

Right. It was time to stop beating around the bush. “Well now, as it so happens, Satoko’s been pushing to move the orphanage inside the Village,” Joshua said. “You know, she believes as you do, that it’s just too dangerous to have all those children so far from civilization.” He smiled. “Unfortunately, she hasn’t had much success with that, but seeing how Master Sonozika seems to value you advice so much, perhaps you could put in a word for her?”

As predicted, Skinner was less than enthused by the suggestion. “And bring those children,” he said, staring.

“Yes.”

“Inside the Village.”

“Uh, yes. That would be the point.”

Skinner slowly shook his head. “Brother Joshua, I was referring to you specifically.”

Joshua finally let some of the anger he had felt building seep into his voice and countenance. “You know I’m not going to do that, Nathaniel. I’m not leaving those children.”

Skinner scowled from behind his glasses. “Your compassion for them is…well, it’s admirable I suppose, but-”

“Look. Nathaniel. Let’s speak plainly, all right? I know there’s been talk about curses and taints and other such nonsense about those who’ve had any sort of dealings with youkai. I know people have started to call the kids, oh what was it, youkai-touched? And it isn’t exactly much of a secret that you’re at the center of it. Now, I have devoted my life to helping take care of those children in any way I can, and if you and Sonozika are bound and determined to keep them exiled out in the Wilds, then I’m staying there with them.”

Skinner sucked in air through his teeth. “That is…well, it’s a mite disappointing, I won’t lie.”

“If memory serves, Jesus was pretty specific about what He thought of those who would turn children away,” Joshua pointed out.

Then Skinner’s scowl darkened into outright hostility. “If memory serves, He was also pretty specific of the ultimate fate of heathens and heretics, children and adult alike! Were the children of Jericho spared? Or those of the Egyptians?”

“That’s enough, Skinner,” Joshua said flatly. He turned to walk away. “I’m not having this conversation anymore.”

“Close your ears and your eyes all you want!” Skinner shouted. “But you’re still-”

“So, hey,” Mokou said as she walked up to the two men. “What’s the big commotion over here?”

Joshua nearly stumbled. With her bright red suspenders and the charms tied into her hair, Mokou didn’t exactly blend in, but he hadn’t even heard her approach. How did she do that?

And yet here she was, hands in her pockets as she calmly surveyed the scene. Hanging back a ways behind her were five of the children, specifically Rumia Yagami, Kohta Momori, Keine Kamishirasawa, Kana Anaberal, and Melissa Garcia.

Skinner, it should be noted, nearly leapt right out of his coat when she appeared. “And who is this?” he demanded.

Joshua cleared his throat. “Um, this is Fujiwara no Mokou. Our cook.”

“Your…cook. Hmmm.” Skinner looked Mokou up and down. Mokou was tall for a Japanese woman, and over most crowds, but Skinner was a full head taller than even she. And yet, now that Joshua saw them standing next to one another, it didn’t seem that way. “Well, that’s appropriate I guess, but why is she wearing pants and a man’s shirt?”

Mokou quirked an eyebrow. “Tough talk from a guy dressed like a literal pile of crap. Josh, who’s this joker?

The rational part of Joshua told him to hustle Mokou away before the two came to blows, while the rest was curious to see how that would turn out. “Mokou, this is, uh, Nathaniel Skinner. He, uh, from the Human Village, and-”

“No. I am from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, of the United States of America!” Skinner snapped, though he kept his focus on Mokou. “But I don’t expect you to know any of that!”

Mokou shrugged. “Well, goody for you. I’m from the Fujiwara estate of the Kansai region, but I don’t expect you to know any of that. So now that we know each other’s names and agree that neither of us knows or cares where the other is actually from, why exactly are you bothering my friend for?”

Skinner turned to Joshua. “Is she…accustomed to intruding upon men’s conversations?”

“Hey.” Mokou snapped her fingers in Skinner’s ear. “Jackass. I’m right here. You can talk to me directly.”

Skinner shook his head. “Brother Joshua, I’m disappointed. You used to be a smart man, but now look at the kind of company you keep. I pray that God opens your eyes one of these days, before it’s too late.” Then, without another word, he turned and stormed.

Joshua and Mokou watched him storm off.

“Charming fellow,” Mokou wryly remarked. “Friend of yours?”

“Once,” Joshua admitted.

“Oh yeah? When was that?”

“Oh, about seventeen years ago, when we first came to Gensokyo.” Joshua shook his head. “I’m…sorry about that. He was always, ah, troubled, and relied on his faith for control.”

“Oh yeah? How’d that work out?”

Joshua thought for a moment, and then admitted, “With mixed results.”

“Sounds like the former’s informing the latter now.”

“I don’t disagree. He didn’t use to be this, ah, zealous, but ever since he came to Gensokyo, he’s…changed.”

“Well, if the stories I’ve heard are true, he’s also been busy changing everyone else,” Mokou said, folding her arms. “I guess he’s the one to blame for all the trouble we’ve been having with the Human Village?”

Joshua winced. “Yes, I think so.”

“Hmmm.” Mokou didn’t comment much past that, but the look she gave him spoke volumes. This conversation wasn’t over, that much was for certain.

Then, from where they were still standing, Rumia suddenly started jumping up and down and waving her hand. “Uh, Mr. Joshua? Miss Mokou? Hello!”

The urgency in her voice drew their attention immediately. The children were all focused on something happening in the market. Rumia was jumping up and down as she waved them over.

“Uh, some of the kids just got into a fight!” she said. “And it looks crazy!”

…

Well, this one was a bitch.

Until next time, everyone.

[saras-almanac]

I am procrastinating actually working on my portfolio so I figured why not write about my frustrations. 

This will surprise no one, but I’m still thinking about the Emmerdale garbage and boring storyline that is Rebecca’s pregnancy. The reason I can’t let this go is just the absolutely lazy writing with it. What exactly was their goal here?

That’s actually a serious question. What were they trying to accomplish? What was the end result? Because how it stands right now, there isn’t one. (Under cut because this is a long slightly rambling thing.)

I have seen a few theories popping up, trying to explain it but that shouldn’t be entirely on the viewer! (I actually wrote about them all in here but it turned into a monster document so I’ll post that later as a random side post.) It’s fun to have theories that we share and try and piece things together, but there still needs to be a base of something. There’s nothing with this storyline.

It literally feels like they wanted us to completely forget the last year or so because if you think about it, it makes absolutely zero sense. I talked a little bit about Robert and the context surrounding the ONS that sort of strains the believability for me. But what I want to talk about is Rebecca.

First of all, if you’re going to impregnate someone, probably best to actually give them a storyline or at least a central voice regarding that pregnancy. Call me a crazed feminist, but if you’re having a woman get pregnant just to fuel a man’s storyline, not a great storyline to have. Even though I hate this storyline, they could have at least pretended to care about Rebecca. I mean, if you’re going down this route, making sure Rebecca actually gets a point of view is slightly crucial. Especially with how desperate IM is for us to love Rebecca. How can we love someone who barely feels like a person more days? Giving us more of her point of view or Robert’s on the actual baby would have helped the disconnect between Rebecca’s storyline and the plot that her womb has created. They have literally separated Rebecca from her own pregnancy storyline.

On that note, why did you have to completely alter her personality and character? Writers, you do remember that this is the same woman who slept with her sister’s boyfriend for an undisclosed amount of time up to and including Chrissie and Robert’s engagement party? Robert is by no means off the hook for this, but they both were present and knowingly doing that. Even when Rebecca came to Emmerdale she came to try and betray her family for Robert.

She’s not this innocent victim—something I thought the show had made pretty clear especially in regards to Rebecca’s relationship to Chrissie. However, that’s the route the show decided to go down post the ONS. It’s ridiculous and honestly a little insulting that they felt the only way to get people on board with this idea is have her be this completely innocent bystander that this pregnancy just happened to. It’s like they introduced Rebecca almost like a female Robert but then tried to transform her into a female Aaron because people love Aaron but it doesn’t work.

The thing is, as frustrating as it was to see Rebecca constantly trying to start things up with Robert again and constantly throwing herself at him, at least she was a fleshed out character then. They could have played with that. They could have used that dynamic that when she found out she was pregnant she decided to keep it just because it might make Robert choose her. Or maybe try to play the longer con of knowing that him and Aaron would probably break up again in the future since that’s sort of their MO and she’s just lying in wait again.

Or maybe she decides this is a chance to start over with someone who will love her unconditionally. Or it’s her way of trying to fill Chrissie’s shoes; she has a baby and lives at home with their dad while trying to learn their business. Or maybe it’s just because she has actually wanted a child for a while but never had a steady enough boyfriend for it to happen.

To be quite honest, the only thing I remember her saying is that she wants to be a mother. That’s great, but then they completely dropped everything that has to do with Rebecca. Vic’s the one putting together the nursery on apparently Robert’s dime. Actually Vic’s the one doing everything. If you’re going this route, then actually go down it and don’t hesitate to show both sides of this argument. It’s especially frustrating because they haven’t really given Robert a chance to figure out how he feels about this potential baby either.

They literally threw this plot together as a way to tie Robert to the Whites forever and be instrumental in booting them from Home Farm. But if you don’t know what your characters want, what their motivations are, then what’s guiding them?

Another point I wanted to come back to regarding Rebecca’s personality is the idea that Rebecca has apparently no more business sense. No sense at all. Wasn’t this the same woman who flew in on a helicopter and had the street smarts to figure our her own way for years? I could understand her struggling a little bit, but not to the extent that they have made her. I’d see her more like Charity when Charity was trying to help Debbie with that business deal—a bit out of her depth and just used to doing things differently. If she’s that bad at it, then why is she running Home Farm? You can’t honestly expect me to believe that Lawrence would have even allowed her to help if she was that awful at it—before his breakdown and break up Ronnie. But that might just be me.

They completely destroyed any potential for her character with this storyline and seem to be confused as to why people are not on board with her. First of all, you used her to break up one of the most supported pairings on the show; that was always going to be a hard thing to come back from. Just on principle alone there’s numerous fans who hate her just for that. Two, you took all her personality away and replaced it with a blinking humainoid whose only purpose seems to be interrupting Robert whenever he’s in a conversation with someone other than her and crying over her dad. We literally had the same scene with her about 15 times. How do they expect us to root for a character that doesn’t seem to actually be a character anymore? As much as I hate this storyline because it’s insulting to so many people on a rather personal level to assume that having a biological child seems to trump any other relationship you might have, there were still ways to have this come about with people still on board with Rebecca. Definitely not everyone, but I’m willing to be there would have been people who at least dealt with her a little bit.

That’s why I’m holding out hope for some sort of twist or scheme that Rebecca’s been planning this whole time. Don’t get me wrong, it would completely suck because they still need to give us something to hold onto regarding this scheme so it doesn’t come completely out of nowhere—unless of course it blindsides her as well. I just don’t want to believe that they would have thrown away all of Rebecca’s character for this.