#reaching out to y'all

[coatntails]

[ghosted-jazz]

Sorry m’lord, it was a joke

[harmonictechnicality]

Memory Log: Day 52

part 1 here | part 2 here | part 3 here | part 5 here | part 6 here (ao3 link here)

After seeing his ink-smeared biography all over Eddie Munson’s arm, Steve becomes extremely motivated. Obsessed, even.

He assembles a makeshift army. Eddie’s Memory Soldiers, he calls it. Okay - he doesn’t call it that out loud, only to himself (because even Steve is self-aware enough to know how deranged this all sounds).

Steve compiles a ragtag group of Eddie’s friends to nudge his brain along faster. Band mates, theater dweebs, potheads that can carry a tune. All of them bring mixtapes on their visits. After two weekends, there’s already a fuckload of thrashy melodies for Eddie to choose from.

He lets them take the reins on this music-healing plan because there’s no fucking way Steve will be helpful in that department. It means less visits that include his presence, which sort of sucks, but it’s worth it. Worth it to get Eddie back to where he used to be.

Before Steve heads out for one of his morning visits, Robin interrogates him. Asks him the question he’s been ignoring for weeks.

“Steve… not to sound harsh, but why do you care so much?” 

Yeah. Why does he care so much? 

She quickly follows it up with, “I just didn’t know you two were friends now. So I’m just curious, I guess.”

They’re not friends. They’re lukewarm tolerators - tethered together by monster hunting and Dustin Henderson.

They’ve flirted, sure. But who doesn’t? Steve would flirt with half of the leggy cartoon characters that appear on Saturday Mornings if he could. So that’s a weak argument to assume they’re more than just friends. Tolerators. Whatever.

So he lies. To Robin. To himself. Lies so much that it sits in his stomach like motion sickness.

He answers the exact same way he’s been answering since day one:

“I’m just doing this for the kids, Robs.”

He’s pretty sure neither of them are buying that statement. He tries again. Stamps the words onto his confused brain. Considers writing them on his arm just like Eddie might do.

“I’m doing it for them.”

Eddie is always on his Walkman (Steve’s Walkman) now that he has skyscraper of cassettes on his desk. Pretty much every time Steve returns, Eddie is head banging. Won’t stop until the nurses scold him.

Or Steve. He’ll stop if Steve scolds him too.

“You can’t keep jostling up your brain, Munson.” Steve whips the headphones off of Eddie’s ears. “Gonna undo all of our hard work.”

“Our hard work?” Eddie attempts to grab the headphones back. Gives up as soon as their hands make contact. “And who might be included in this our that you speak of?”

“You know…” Me. “The doctors and nurses and your friends.”

“Right.”

This is how things have been going lately. Eddie teases him mercilessly and Steve bats it all away. Doesn’t encourage it for a second.

Which blows so hard because he wants to flirt back. Steve wants to know what Eddie feels like beyond tubes and bandages and hospital gowns. He wants way too much after watching Eddie fall asleep smiling that night. After finding out that Eddie scams his own mind into remembering Steve in technicolor details every day.

But it feels wrong. Deep down, there’s this part of Steve that worries that Eddie only likes the scribbled notes, the good qualities of himself. The non-prickster qualities.

He doesn’t scribble the bad qualities on his arm. Eddie lets himself forget about those every night. 

So it seems wrong. Unfair to let Eddie only remember the good parts of him and take advantage of his weak mind.

Life was a fucking breeze before Steve cared about not taking advantage of people. Shit, he used the world’s biggest advantage-taker before all of this evil wizard nonsense.

“Quiz me, Harrington.” Eddie insists.

So Steve does. Steve goes down the list of questions. Things that Eddie’s memory typically hesitates to recognize. 

Music helps Eddie remember his childhood memories the best.

That’s the biggest discovery they’ve made over the last fourteen days. Tapes that include songs from the early to mid 70’s have the biggest mental impact on his memory skills. Every day, he recalls more moments from his past.

Winter birthday parties. Recess and tire swings. Nineteen chickenpox. A pet hamster named Sterling.

“Can’t believe Wayne trusted you with a living creature.” Steve sneers.

“Never said he did.”

He always gets fuzzy with stuff from the late 70s though. And the early 80s is just a jumbled-up shit show. That’s when Eddie really starts failing his quiz.

“What year did you get the tattoo on your chest?”

“You mean this one?” Eddie pulls down the wrinkly hospital gown, exposing way too much of his collarbone. “Or this one?” He pulls the fabric down even further.

They must’ve finally turned the heat on in this place. Or maybe Steve’s sweater is just extra itchy, scratching his skin all splotchy red. He rubs furiously at the collar, spreads the flush all over by accident. 

His eyes dart up to the fluorescent lights. Away from Eddie’s chest. “Um… the… creepy guy.”

“You’ll sprain your neck looking up like that.”

“Good thing I’m in a hospital then.”

“Okay - seriously, what’s up with you?”

“Nothing.”

“Sure.” Eddie snorts. His heart monitor beeps faster. Steve hates that laughing must be a bit painful for him. “And he’s not some creepy guy. He’s a creepy demon. Please respect the body art and get your facts right.”

“Fine.”

Not flirting back makes Steve feel like he could break out into hives. He has a fucking stockpile of pickup lines. He hoards provocative catchphrases like a horny pack rat. Talking is becoming increasingly difficult when he can’t banter back the way he wants to.

“Don’t remember what year I got it.” Eddie admits. “Sorry.”

Steve pulls his focus away from the ceiling and scribbles that down:

Eddie still can’t remember when he got his tattoos.

“Gee mister,” Eddie imitates a very masculine Shirley Temple voice. “Am I failing the pop quiz already?”

Eddie remembers who Shirley Temple is (weird, but okay).

Eddie does a really shitty impression of Shirley Temple.

Steve just keeps writing. Not even writing words anymore, just moving the pen to stay focused. Stay distracted from flirting.

The energy starts to feel swampy and stiff as he continues to give short responses with lifeless enthusiasm. Steve can tell that Eddie is picking up on the weirdness too. 

He’s so fidgety. Drumming his fingers, twisting the one ring he’s allowed to wear on one of his less busted fingers. Bobbing his knees and kicking off his blankets. 

Eventually, Eddie puts his (Steve’s) headphones back on and closes his eyes. A nonverbal surrender. A borrowed Walkman instead of a white flag. Why does it feel so shitty to see that he is just as defeated as Steve?

Once Eddie is asleep, Steve peaks over at his arms.

The notes are still there. Fading, but there.

It shouldn’t jab him in the heart the way that it does every time he checks, but christ. It’s so fucked up.

Slowly but surely, Eddie is gaining pieces of his past, but never his present. Why the fuck is that? Steve is so selfishly pissed about that because he’s a main role in Eddie’s present life. 

He’s the one that’s here most days. He’s the one that listens to Eddie’s rants and incessant complaints. He’s the one that calls the nurses when Eddie is too prideful to admit when he’s in pain.

Steve should be remembered without smudgey reminders and foggy recollections.

Steve should be un-fucking-forgettable.

After an unhealthy amount of moping, he comes up with an idea. Well, Dustin comes up with an idea, actually. Steve bribed him with nougat and R-rated movie rentals to construct a gameplan.

“And you need Eddie to remember your favorite sweater…why?” Dustin’s mouth is full of chewy candy as he asks.

Steve chucks a raisinette at his dumb hat. “I thought we agreed this was a no questions asked request.”

“You suggested that.” Dustin points at Steve. “I never agreed to it though.”

This is the part Steve despises. If he admits it to others, he has to admit it to himself. And while he’s come a long way since that first day with Eddie, he’s not there yet. His pride can only take so much vulnerability before it fractures completely. “Just… I’m testing a theory I have on his newest memories.”

“Right. And what theory would that be?”

That he thinks about me in kissable ways. “That he remembers more than he gives himself credit for.”

Dustin chugs back his soda and scrunches the can in his grasp. “Okay. Well, the mixtape theory is working decently well with older memories, right?

“Yeah. Definitely.”

“So maybe it can work with newer memories too.”

Steve is lost already. “Meaning?”

“Find songs that relate to you.” Dustin shrugs like duh. He must sense Steve’s hesitation, so he sputters back into his brainy explanation. “Think about it: you’re there all the time -”

“Not all the time, but -”

“Shut the hell up. You’re there all the time, so he must remember the essence of Steve Harrington.”

Steve fake gags. “Don’t say essence, that’s fucking gross.”

“Will you stop interrupting? Jesus christ.” Dustin yells, scrunching the soda can even more with his irritation. “Just make a mixtape with stuff that relates to you. Get his current memories to stick with lyrics and shit.”

Steve twists his mouth to one side. Then the other. “That’s…”

“Genius?”

“I was gonna say worth a shot, but sure.” Steve agrees. “We’ll go with your conceited analysis.”

Dustin finally picks up the raisinette from earlier. Throws it back at Steve. “You should be nicer to me. I possibly just solved your dilemma.”

“I should be nicer to you?” Steve tosses the raisinette into his mouth, despite its questionable duration on the floor. “Dude, you’re never nice to me.”

“Yeah, but it’s affectionate hostility.”

“And that makes it better?”

“Basically, yeah.”

“Fine.” Steve rolls eyes, offers a hand to Dustin. “Thank you for the hostile affection.”

Dustin accepts the handshake. He’s overly smug about it too. “You’re very welcome.”

Memory Log: Day 53

Right away, Steve determines it’s a Kathy Day. Eddie is a verbal nightmare already, whining about the dead batteries in his tv remote.

“I’ll get Sam to grab some batteries when her shift starts.” Steve reassures the bitchy entity possessing Eddie Munson’s body at the moment.

“Why don’t you just get the damn batteries?” Eddie bites back. “You have legs, don’t you?”

“You have eyes, don’t you? Of course, I have fucking legs.” Steve can play it this game. Doesn’t want to but he can be just as obnoxious if Eddie keeps going with his attitude. “Please don’t pull this Kathy shit today.”

That simultaneously shuts them both up for a while. Steve begins flipping through one of the outdated magazines on Eddie’s desk, avoiding the escalated atmosphere. At this rate, there’s no fucking way Steve is going to bring up his mixtape. Kathy/Eddie will probably smash it. Roll over it with the wheels on his imprisoning hospital bed.

Eddie clears his throat, speaking softer than he did at Steve’s arrival. “You know… you were sort of a Kathy yourself yesterday.”

Eddie remembers Steve’s weird mood from the day before (needs to check Eddie’s arm notes to make sure he didn’t write that down).

“Yeah well… I’m allowed to be the pissy one sometimes.” Steve doesn’t look up. He just keeps pretending to read the fossilized magazine in his hand.

“Whatever you say, Harrington.” There’s another pause. Just as awkward as the last one. Their dynamics today are clashing harder than their music styles. Eddie breaks through the awkwardness once again. “So… what’s on the brain agenda today?”

Eddie remembers their pop quizzes.

Right. The quiz. The quiz that Steve has no intention of administering today because he’s supposed to give Eddie this stupid mixtape. 

And look, Steve is pretty good at avoiding shit - homework and phone calls and extended family members. He’s good at dodging shit too, like the relentless one-night stands that can never seem to take a goddamn hint.

But this situation is different because Steve would clearly like to avoid the potential weirdness of giving Eddie Munson a gift. However, he’s innately aware that this particular gift could be helpful. Maybe more to himself than to Eddie, but who knows? If Eddie gets his memory tank back on track and Steve gets someone that reciprocates his affections? 

The payoff might be worth the weirdness.

“I actually wanted to contribute to your…” Steve gestures apathetically at the stack of tapes.

Eddie looks over at them and then back to Steve. “Oh you mean, Munsonopolis?”

“Boooo.” Steve heckles him immediately for that.

“You think of something better then.”

Steve thinks about this way too hard. “The Ed-pire State Building.”

“Boooo.” Eddie imitates Steve’s heckling.

“Better than yours.”

“Says who?”

“Says anyone with a sense of humor.”

“Brave of you to call that a sense of humor.”

“What can I say?” Steve clicks his mouth twice and does the most douchey finger-gun bit, blowing out the nonexistent smoke from each index finger. “I’m something else.”

Eddie bites down over his lip, hard enough that it goes white for a second. Doesn’t take his eyes off of Steve while he bares down.

“You sure are, Steve.”

Oh shit - did they just mindlessly segue onto Flirtation Boulevard without even trying? Is it really that natural with Eddie? Damnit, Steve needs to get his mind on the task at hand.

“Here.” He walks over, lays the tape on Eddie’s lap.

“Is this another one from Gareth?” Eddie flips the tape over, studies the back. “Cause I already assured him that I remember the concert we went to back in ‘84.”

Eddie remembers one of his closest friends.

“No, this one is actually…” Just fucking own up, Steve. “Well, I made it.”

Eddie’s eyes do that sequin thing again. Almost turn into disco balls. “You made me a mixtape?”

Ugh. “Don’t get too flattered, Munson.” 

“Too late.”

Steve was afraid that might be the case. So he does his damndest to channel Dustin Henderson. Provide a scientific explanation to his crush-driven theory. “It’s just an extension of our little music experiment. Some stuff that will help you remember me.”

“And why exactly do you want me to remember you?” Eddie does the same lip biting thing from before. He bites harder, and the color stays white even longer this time.

Steve involuntarily glances down at Eddie’s arm, giving himself away.

“Oh.” Eddie stops biting his lip, swiftly lifts the blankets over his arms. Hiding what Steve already knows is there. “Look… that’s just -”

“You don’t have to explain yourself, really.”

Eddie looks down, nodding in agreement. “Right. But it’s not-”

“Eddie.” Steve places a firm hand on Eddie’s shoulder because he can’t. He can’t listen to whatever Eddie is about to confirm or deny. “It’s okay. I mean it.”

He’s not ready for it, for whatever barricade that’s between them to come crashing down. Steve didn’t bring the proper tools to shield himself from raw emotions or desperate declarations of true feelings. And from the way Eddie goes breathless and tense under Steve’s shoulder-grip, he doesn’t think Eddie has the proper tools for that either.

“So you uh…” Eddie peers down at Steve’s hand. Catches a glimpse then abruptly looks away again. “Do you want me to listen now or…”

God no. Steve releases his grip at that thought. “Wait till I leave.” 

“Got it.”

The rest of the visit goes both fairly smoothly. There are only a few lingering particles of awkward tension left behind. It doesn’t bother Steve, not necessarily. The whole day has been kind of all over the place, just like Eddie’s Literary Behavioral Scale. So this uneasy atmosphere is to be expected.

They talk about movies while Steve packs up his things to leave. Eddie asks about all the new movies that have come out since he’s been in the hospital. Steve tells him to make a list of the ones he’s interested in seeing. Tells him that they’ll have a marathon at his place once they’re released to vhs. Eddie says he knows a guy that sells bootlegs before the vhs release date, but Steve shoots that idea down so fucking fast.

It’s not their usual banter, but that’s okay. At least they're talking. Getting along. Tolerating one another at a lukewarm temperature again.

“Steve?”

“Yeah?” Steve is met with the most anxiety-ridden face. Eddie’s whole forehead is covered in wrinkles, like that one fancy dog breed that his next-door neighbor used to have. There’s no shimmer in Eddie’s eyes, no disco balls. It’s all just dull. Fearful.

“Sorry if the arm thing made you...” Eddie trips over his words. He pinches the skin between his eyes, makes his even more forehead wrinkles. “I don’t know what’s the word I’m looking for.. Uncomfortable, I guess.”

“Don’t worry. It didn’t.” It made Steve a lot of other things: gutted, determined, confused, sulky, smitten. But no. Worried did not make Steve’s grocery list of Feelings.

“Don’t forget to tell Sam about the batteries on your way out.”

Eddie remembers bitching about the batteries.

Yeah, Steve’s memory isn’t the faulty one here. Even so, Steve reassures him:

“I won’t forget, Eds.”

Day 56:

Wayne had a couple days off from work and took over Steve’s Wednesday and Thursday shifts in the hospital. It’s probably for the best - especially since Steve decided to do the most high school shit ever, and gift Eddie a fucking bouquet in the form of radio hits and plastic.

He’s breaking out from the stress, just marinating on what Eddie’s thoughts might be of the mixtape. It can’t be good. None of the songs are his typical riffs of eternal damnation or whatever. But it certainly sounds like Steve Harrington in a Speaker. So it better help him picture Steve dressed in the tackiest, most burnable sweaters imaginable, goddamnit.

But like, why is he breaking out from thinking about Eddie Munson? Absurd. All of it. The feelings and the acne. His weird little crush is making him regress into adolescent woes and it’s pissing him off.

After popping the zit and crossing his fingers that it’s not outrageously noticeable, Steve sucks in a deep breath, and heads into Eddie’s hospital room.

“There’s my favorite Material Girl.” Eddie lowers the headphones, smiles bonus-level wide.

Steve’s gulps. His face feels like a fucking toaster. “I take it you listened to the tape?”

“I didn’t just listen to the tape.” Eddie picks up the Walkman and smacks it against the side of his head. “I practically absorbed that bubblegum bullshit. Think some of it is still stuck in my teeth.”

Steve plays along, hoping that his face will return to its usual complexion. “You should see a dentist about that.”

“With what insurance?”

“That’s fair.” Steve slides his hands into his jean pockets. He’s so rigid. “So?”

“So?”

“Final conclusion?”

“Oh, I hated it.” Eddie says bluntly. “In a very stick-that-syringe-in-my-neck kind of way.”

“Shocker.” Steve actually expected a meaner response than that.

“Why did you put so many songs on there that use Girl in the title?”

“Hey - it’s not my fault that all of the rich poster child songs are about women.” Steve gets defensive about that one. Honestly, it’s true. There needs to be more music about wealthy guys with genetically flawless hair. Somebody needs to get on that shit so Steve can have more songs that apply to him.

“Whatever you say, man.” 

“So did it…” Steve is still standing. Hovering a bit. “Did it help?”

Eddie sticks out both of his arms, flipping to reveal his forearms to Steve.

They’re blank, besides the usual tattoos and contusions. They’re as blank as Eddie’s arms can be at the moment. No more Steve Cheat Sheet to be found.

Steve exhales all of his relief. “And you remember me?”

“Remembering you was never the problem, Steve.”

“It wasn’t?”

Eddie shakes his head. “But if I ever allowed myself to forget, I…” He taps rapidly over the Walkman. Steve’s Walkman. “I just didn’t wanna risk starting over.”

“Oh.”

“With you.”

The metaphorical arrow, the one Steve has alway seen on department store Valentines Day cards, goes straight through his chest. Eddie aims the words with you directly for Steve’s heart. Punctures that wall he built up after Nancy Wheeler.

The monitor connected to Eddie is beeping faster again. It’s not like that day Eddie was writhing in pain. No, it’s a different tempo.

It sounds like his nerves are conducting the pattern. He’s nervous. Steve is making him nervous.

Or Steve’s lack of response is making him nervous.

But how does Steve respond? Is this Eddie giving him permission to flirt back again? To keep driving down the detour of attraction, take the scenic route?

Eddie’s heart monitor is screaming, ‘say something, Steve.’

But Steve’s archive of failed relationships is screaming, back, ‘don’t fuck this up, dickhead.’

Steve tries to meet the two in the middle. Say something inviting yet keep it simple.

“So… do you wanna make fun of the shitty soap operas together?” 

Steve puts a little emphasis on the together part, hoping it’ll tame the monitor. Make the tones evenly paced. He lets his hand tap once against Eddie’s arm. Right over his newly blank wrist. So clean. No more scribbles.

“I don’t know, I’ll have to check my schedule.” Eddie teases with his words, sure. But his hand lifts up. Tapping Steve back. Twice. “I’m a very busy man, you see.”

Steve shoves him away, laughing as he does it. “You’re ridiculous.”

“You’re not wrong.”

His monitor is ballad again.

One of Eddie’s (many) doctors walks into the room during their third hour of mocking the Home Shopping Network. Eddie has developed an elaborate backstory that they’re all cyborgs who are taking civilian money to grow their army of killer robots. Steve is surprisingly on board with this theory after the second hour. Some red headed lady twitches her eyes way too much to be human.

The doctor runs a few tests, looks over Eddie’s chart, the typical procedure. However, at the end of the visit, he decides to put Eddie on a new medication for his headaches. 

Headaches…

Steve flips back to that first day he started visiting Eddie. Finds the note he passive-aggressively took back then:

Eddie has a headache (that’s not a memory thing - he’s just told Steve a thousand times now).

He fans through the other pages as well. At least two-thirds of them mention Eddie complaining about headaches. How did Steve miss this? How could he be so stupid? He was too busy fantasizing about Eddie’s chest tattoos and making shitty mixtapes, that he glossed over something so significant.

Dustin wouldn’t have missed this. Robin wouldn’t have missed this. Nancy definitely wouldn’t have missed this - hell, she would’ve already cracked the Case of the Missing Memories by now. 

Steve is the wrong man for this job. Not enough brainpower to fix a broken brain.

“Uh oh.” Eddie says. “Where you’d go, Harrington?”

Steve glances up to see Eddie pointing his finger at Steve’s head. “Just.. thinking.”

“Share with the class, please.”

Steve struggles to make his voice sound causal about this. “I should’ve known about the headaches. Paid better attention.”

“Are you joking?” Eddie asks. “Because if you are, we need to work on your delivery.”

“Not joking, no.”

Eddie’s tone is mildly annoyed, still gentle though. “Stevie… that guy gets paid a shitload of money to figure out my problems. Truly - the reason there’s no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow is because it’s going straight into that guy’s pocket.”

Steve snorts. It’s even funnier to visualize because the doctor is kind of short.

“What I’m saying is, it’s his job to have a big brain.” Eddie’s eye contact is sharp. Broken bottle to his neck sharp. “And your job is to be my eye candy. Sit there and look cute while I try to not hack up my dinner.”

Steve’s hearing went crackly at all of the compliments. “Eye candy, huh?”

“Pretty much.”

Steve no longer has an excuse not to flirt back. Eddie has his mixtape; his arms are bare. He’s obviously encouraging it, even with the knowledge that Steve is a spoiled brat. He likes Steve, not just the good stuff. Eddie is still willing to pursue this even with Steve’s bad qualities.

So fuck it. Steve is gonna delve into his stockpile of pickup lines. He’s gonna rummage around his hoard of provocative catchprashes. Be the horny pack rat that he was born to be.

“Is the sitting part of my job description mandatory?” Steve leans forward, elbows resting on his knees.

“Oh, I’m very lenient on that detail.” Eddie’s voice drops lower. “The cute part… not so much.”

“So you’re only keeping me around for what? My great hair? My symmetrical bone structure? My biceps, maybe?”

“Definitely not your humility, that’s for damn sure.”

They share a smile as Steve gets up, inches closer to Eddie’s bed. He reaches out and pinches the sleeve of Eddie’s hospital gown between his fingers. He cautiously rubs it over a few times, waiting to see Eddie’s reaction to this droplet of affection.

Eddie catches Steve’s wrist with his other hand. Mirrors the rubbing motion Steve set in place with the material.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

Steve nudges Eddie lightly. “Is this okay?”

And before he can even get a response back, Eddie’s face starts turning grayish-green. 

This happens. Eddie throws up biweekly, so it’s not a big deal at all. It’s just that Steve is usually not laying on the moves when Eddie is about to blow chunks. Honestly, it knocks Steve’s astronomical ego down a few notches.

He probably deserves it.

Eddie is really sick. He pukes three more times, and he starts running a fever after the second time. He’s all clammy and curled into a pillow, clutching it with shaky fingers.

It’s all side effects from the new medication apparently. Yeah, Eddie’s head is no longer splitting open, but his body is rejecting all of the cardboard hospital food.

Steve keeps an eye on him, not that he can do much about it. He gets a styrofoam cup of ice chips so Eddie can chew on it whenever his temperature spikes. He wipes the sweat off Eddie’s temples because one - it’s a nice gesture, and two - it gives him an excuse to be nearby.

The shivering is driving Steve crazy though. He’s so on edge just watching Eddie like this. Eddie keeps making jokes like ‘at least I’ll remember your stupid worried face in the morning’ or ‘damn, my past better be worth all of this.’ And Steve will chuckle halfheartedly each time.

The heart monitor is all jumpy now. Even, uneven, even, uneven. If Steve focuses on it for too long, it starts to sound like he’s driving by a highway collision. A pileup of beeps and tones.

He gets another cup of cafeteria coffee. Hopes the bitterness and chalky creamer will be enough to muffle his hearing. Steer his mind to an empty exit lane.

“What? No coffee for me?” Eddie is under an extra blanket now.

Steve scoots his chair even closer to Eddie’s bedside. “What’s the point? You’d just puke it all up.” He’s pretty lousy at supportive words, isn’t he?

“Aren’t visiting hours almost over?”

“You trying to get rid of me, Munson?”

“Never. Just figured you needed to catch the bus or whatever.”

Eddie remembers Steve taking the bus.

“Robin finally gave me my car back.” Steve conveniently leaves out how he demanded  for it to be returned to him. “So, I’ll stay until they kick me out… if that’s cool with you.”

He places his non-coffee holding hand over top of Eddie’s open palm. It’s sort of instinctual. Doesn’t give his mind a moment to wonder if this is crossing a line. 

Holding hands in a hospital doesn’t mean romance. It never has. People do it all time, no one bats an eye at them either. It’s just a gesture of helpless support. It’s what people do to signify, ‘I can’t heal you with medicine, but I can warm your under-circulated skin just a little.’

But when Eddie’s fingers curl around his own, Steve’s stomach swells like its romance. It swells with hot air, helium maybe. It swells and stays swollen. Stays thermal and full.

“Looks like I’m gonna have to pay my eye candy overtime.” Eddie’s face rushes all pinkish-red. Almost as if he’s trying to combat his blush with humor, but it’s not working. He’s all the colors now. And with or without them, he’s attractive.

“You don’t pay me at all.”

“You got me there.” Eddie shakes a frizzy curl in front of his cheek. A poor effort to hide his flushed face. “I’m a terrible employer.”

Steve traces the grooves of Eddie’s palm lines. Pretends that they form a railroad track. “The worst.”

Once his fever finally breaks, Eddie falls asleep. His body unfolds, his fingers uncurl. It’s a heavy sleep, one that makes him all languid and soft. Any traces of bones are questionable now.

And even though Steve is about to pass out from exhaustion, he doesn’t move his hand from Eddie’s. He’d rather give up his whole arm than move it.

Sam peaks in just before Steve nods off. She lets in the bright hallway light, not too much though. Not enough to wake Eddie. Honestly, not a lot of things wake Eddie up these days.

“Sorry.” Steve yawns. “I overstayed my welcome.”

She shrugs, checks the fluids in one of Eddie’s IV bags. “You know, you can stay the night, if you’d like.”

“Really?”

“It’s pretty late… you shouldn’t be driving on the highway at this time of night.”

“Won’t I…” Steve reworks the phrase. Tries to be less selfish about it. “Won’t you get in trouble for letting me stay?”

“Oh no.” She winks. “Because I never saw you here.”

Steve smirks. “Got it.”

“But if I did see you here,” She gestures her head to the door on her right. “I would tell you there’s extra pillows in the linen closet over there.”

Sam deserves a fucking raise. Steve would become a goddamn patron of this hospital just to give her more money. Let the godsend of a woman retire early for christ’s sake.

“Thanks, Sam.” Steve whispers.

“Thank you for keeping him company.” She whispers back. “He’s lucky to have someone like you.”

Steve doesn’t know if that’s true, if Eddie is lucky to have him, but he nods anyway. Gives a gentle wave as Sam heads back out of the room.

He sets the pillow next to Eddie’s leg, keeping their hands connected as he dozes off. Steve falls asleep the same way he used to fall asleep in class. All bent over in his chair, one cheek flattened out on the desk. It’s very reminiscent of that.

Only better because he’s with the guy that makes his chest swell, even when he’s being sarcastic or melodramatic. Even when he’s cobwebbed himself into a maze of cords. Even when he’s bitching about batteries and Steve’s vomit-inducing fashion sense.

Steve thinks maybe he likes the undesirable traits of Eddie Munson just as much as the desirable ones.

And once he’s knocked out entirely, the rhythm of his heart matches the beeping monitor hooked up to Eddie’s chest.

Day 57:

It’s been a long time since Steve has had a decent dream. And this dream he’s in right now? It’s fucking luxurious.

He’s at the hair salon, because of course he is - it’s his home away from home. 

His head is reclining back in that giant sink thing. The one that’s like a soup bowl for hair or whatever. The stylist is shampooing his scalp, scrubbing all of those foamy products into his roots. This is Steve’s favorite part of getting his hair done, he always feels blissed out of his mind afterward.

They keep washing it for the whole dream, digging their nails into his head, dunking water over his hair every so often. It’s downright perfection. A dream he could stay stuck in forever. 

The scenery of the dream flickers out, but the sensations linger as he gains consciousness. His squints both of his eyes open, immediately greeted by too much brightness, too much sunlight. Steve shuts them again, soaking up the remnants of his dream. The hair scratching that’s ongoing even though he’s awake.

Awake.

Steve is awake and can still feel all of that salon paradise. His brain finally wakes up enough to realize it isn’t a dream. It’s Eddie’s hands in his hair, combing it thoroughly.

Fuck, it feels so good too. Steve wonders if Eddie is aware of what he’s doing or if he’s also in that suspended place between awake and asleep.

It doesn’t matter, not really. It all feels way too incredible to care about the logistics. Steve nuzzles deeper into the pillow to hide the happy little hums that keep escaping through his mouth. 

Eddie doesn’t stop. He keeps moving his hand around. Twirling strands and releasing them. Ruffling strands and smoothing them. Massaging the pads of his fingers in all the right places. Every bit of it is dreamy. Better than the dream Steve initially believed to be unbeatable.

Being Eddie’s own personal petting zoo is way better. Miles, light years better. Is there any form of measurement longer than lightyears? Because it’s bigger and better than that too.

Eddie tugs a little harder, just once, but once is all it takes to make Steve melt. He open-mouth sighs into the pillow, hoping the fabric mutes the neediness of it. There’s drool on the pillow and it’s unclear if it’s from when he was asleep or if it occurred just from that one hair tug. 

“Steve?” Eddie’s voice still sounds coated in sleep. “Is this weird?”

Steve shakes his head no, still unable to lift his face from the pillow.

“Should I stop?”

Steve shakes his head much faster. Absolutely not. Stopping should be banished from Eddie’s vocabulary. The word ‘stop’ should be homeless as far as Steve is concerned.

Eddie tugs again, more firmly this time. The tug goes straight to Steve’s dick, which yikes. Humiliating. Yeah, it’s morning and this shit happens, but not this kind of boner. Not one brought on by hair salon fantasies and a metalhead with magical fingertips. This can’t be the reality of Steve’s life right now but somehow, it is.

“I think I combed through all of that cake-up hairspray.” Eddie talks as his hand continues to roam around Steve’s scalp. “Feels like cashmere now, so you’re welcome.”

Steve sighs again, pretty sure it’s much more audible this time because Eddie laughs.

“Embarrassing.” Steve mumbles. That’s all he can muster out without becoming a puddle of humiliation.

“The sounds you’re making?”

Steve nods.

“Oh that is not the adjective I would’ve gone with.” Eddie claws his fingers all the way down to Steve’s neck. “Not even close.”

Steve is all hormones now, all slurred speech and thoughtless words. “So good, Eddie.”

“Oh my god.” Eddie whines, sounds breathier than Steve. “You cannot say my name like that when I’m in a tissue-thin gown.”

Steve wants to sneak a peek, see if what Eddie is suggesting holds any truth. He resists, only because he’s trying to sort out his own tent-pitching problems at the moment.

He gradually lifts his head off of the pillow, back cracking as he straightens his spine out after hours of being shaped like fucking tetris piece. It’s the last thing he wants to do because it means Eddie has to take his hand out of Steve’s hair. But as Eddie pulls away, his knuckles brush against Steve’s ear, awakening this newfound urgency to not let this moment fizzle out.

Steve hops up onto the bed, sitting side-saddle next to Eddie. He looks through Eddie’s eyes, the ones that remind him of shimmery dresses and the backseat of his car on prom night. He looks through to find a reason to stop his actions. Stop his need to touch Eddie’s jawline or thumb over his lips. He’s searching for a reason to stop and finding none whatsoever.

“Do you remember me?”

“You’re Steve Harrington.” Eddie kind of stutters as he says it. “Hometown Slut extraordinaire.”

The nerdy bastard is never going to let that one go.

Steve gives a quiet laugh, leaning in to his impulses. He slides his thumb over Eddie’s bottom lip, curving around, mapping invisible outlines. A blueprint for his imagination when they’re apart later. “Am I reading this wrong?”

Eddie’s gaze is glued to Steve’s lips as he shakes his head no.

“Good.”

Steve uses his free hand to lift himself up, get closer. Breathing in the same stale oxygen, sucking up the same early morning courage, existing in the same dizzying climate.

He can feel Eddie exhale softly over his skin when there’s a knock at the door.

Steve has never stood up so fast in his damn life. Gets a head rush that’s so overwhelming that his vision speckles out momentarily. 

It’s Sam. Thank god it’s only Sam. But also, screw god for interrupting what almost happened just now. Not cool, sky man.

“Just a heads up,” she starts, shutting the door behind her. “You have another visitor that just arrived.”

Right. It's the weekend.

Steve and Eddie say it in unison. “Dustin.”

Sam hums in reply. “I can stall him for a couple minutes. Give you time to sneak out the stairs that are tucked in the back hallway.”

“You’re the best.” Steve says. “I’ll be quick.”

She leaves, cracking the door on her way out.

Both of them just look at each other for a moment. There’s no time to even discuss the events that just took place. No time to recover the kiss that is already sneaking out the back hallway stairs.

Steve nervously whistles. “So…”

“I’ll see you Monday?”

“Monday.” 48 hours apart seems insane. “Yeah.”

Steve hurriedly makes his way to the door - refusing his horny impulses the opportunity to kick back in and ruin everything. “See you later, Eds.”

Eddie licks over his bottom lip - the one Steve mapped out with his thumbprint. “Later, sailor.”

Um. What?

Steve’s eyes go large. “What did you just call me?”

“Go.” Eddie flashes the wickedest grin. “We’ll talk all about your ocean of flavor on Monday.”

This can’t be happening. “Ocean of -”

“Get out of here already!”

Steve flings himself out of the room, sprinting down the hall. Does Eddie actually recall Steve working at Starcourt? How can that be possible? Steve doesn’t remember seeing Eddie outside of school ever. 

Plus, they’ve never even talked about his job at Scoops Ahoy. Family Video? Sure, that’s more recent. But Scoops? Steve tries to forget just about everything from his time at that seaside shithole.

Goddamnit, this is confusing. The hair foreplay. The almost-kiss. The nautical nickname. Confusing is an understatement. Steve needs to go back to high school and learn a better word for what this is. Confusing isn’t cutting it anymore.

If Steve can make it till Monday without spiraling into a bucket of nerves, he deserves a fucking trophy.

And a kiss on the lips.

Mostly the second option (although a trophy would be nice too). 

[technicolourtelevision]

Responses to Ken saying ‘I love you’ VS Stewy saying it unprompted to Ken. → [+ physical affection] // For: @broken--melody 😘

[nerdy-stilinski]

A Comprehensive Bitch-Fest of the Teen Wolf Movie

Alright guys, as promised, here is the comprehensive text post of the Teen Wolf Movie. 

Under this cut will contain a pretty extensive plot (for those of us who don’t want to watch the movie). I’m gonna do another post under this one with my personal thoughts, and some fun little bones to pick with Mr. Davis surrounding canon (or lack thereof, as it were) and uh. Plot decisions all around. 

Most importantly, though, THERE WILL BE SPOILERS! If you haven’t seen the movie, and you don’t want spoilers, PLEASE DO NOT LOOK UNDER THE CUT! 

I’m sure there won’t be much anyone hasn’t seen, yet, but I digress. 

⚠️HERE BE SPOILERS!⚠️ 

PLOT

We open with Liam and Hikari (the new kitsune) at some sort of restaurant in what appears to be rural Japan.

Somebody, who we later learn is Harris (and tbh, you would pick up on it if you paid any attention at ALL in seasons 1-3. I literally wrote IS THAT HARRIS????? WHAT THE FUCK the moment i saw him.), comes in looking for the triskelion container that the nogitsune is trapped in. He puts an Argent round on the counter, which I still cannot fathom why, because it’s never addressed. 

Naturally, a scuffle occurs, Harris shoots Liam and Hikari, and he says something about how he wants revenge on Beacon Hills before he opens the box. A firefly flies out, you get the gist. 

The movie cuts to LA, and shows a building in the process of collapsing. Deaton is out front, talking to a firefighter about how he’s called someone they call “the Alpha” to rescue a girl and her dog from the building. 

Yep, you guessed it, folks. Scott McCall runs an animal shelter in LA next to Deaton’s new veterinary practice. 

Scott obviously goes in the building, which partially collapses on him, but flashes his eyes at the dog, and saves the girl and the dog when the building collapses around them. 

The main credits roll, opening the movie. It is evident upon opening credits that Scott, Allison, Lydia, and Malia are going to be the main characters. Kudos, though. The credits were cool. 

We cut to Scott’s animal shelter (or Deaton’s vet hospital? unclear). Scott and Deaton have a discussion where Deaton has to explain the word “wistful” to a 30-year-old Scott and Scott repeats it like he’s studying for the SATs. I’m all for nostalgia but uh. That one icked me out. Anyways, Scott goes to lock up, and then sees a vision of Allison, reenacting the first night he met her when she hit the dog and took it to the vet. He shakes it off, but hears the dogs barking in the back , and he goes to investigate. 

Surprise, it’s Argent pointing a gun at Scott. It freaks Scott out, but they bro hug it out, like men. He’s come back to see Scott because he’s been seeing Allison too, in these weird dreams and visions. 

Argent has the katana the oni used to kill Allison, and is convinced they need to take it to Beacon Hills to put her to rest or something? 

Scott, obviously not noticing that the vibes are Rancid, agrees, and they decide to head back to BH, which they both haven’t been back to in a while, it seems like. 

Cut scene to Lydia, giving some sort of presentation and walking around a very high-end company of some sort. We find out that Lydia, instead of actually putting information in the booklets she handed out to the tour, has written Allison over and over again. (it’s also implied that the person they use as a plot device to introduce this was or is, in some way, romantically involved with Lydia).

Lydia runs to her office, where she has one of her banshee visions, and writes a ton of stuff on various pieces of paper in a pattern we can’t yet discern. She’s getting flashbacks of Allison the entire time. 

Cut scene. Eli Hale (i squealed. im not above that. that’s derek’s boy, guys) is breaking into what appears to be some kind of impound lot. He hotwires what is apparent to us is Stiles’s Jeep. 

Eli busts out of the chain link fencing, and is hauling ass and driving down a very recognizable Beacon Hills road. He flies by a parked Sheriff’s Department patrol vehicle, and we see it’s driven by Parrish. 

Cut to what appears to be the Preserve. Mason, a deputy (more on that later. i hate it) walks over to the Sheriff, and asks if Parrish should deal with their consultant’s issue. It is clear they are talking about Eli, and the Sheriff says he’ll handle it. 

Derek walks out of the forest (notes: DERKE. COMING OUT OF THE WOODS. SDJHFKDHSGKJHDSGH. DEREK. DEREK.) which has clearly been burned, and informs the Sheriff that the arsonist used chemical accelerant. He then tells the Sheriff that “we should be calling your son” to which the Sheriff replies “he has his own fires to put out.” This is one of MAYBE 5 Stiles mentions in the movie. 

The Sheriff asks Derek why he keeps stealing the Jeep, to which Derek replies, “because he knows I hate it.” (your honor. that’s gay.) 

Cut to Eli still driving, and the Jeep’s tires go flat. He’s ambushed by the Sheriff, Parrish, and his father. Derek tells him they’ll talk about it later. 

Cut to the cemetery Allison was buried at. Scott’s there, and he goes to her grave. The cemetery is overgrown, uncared for. Lydia pulls up, and Scott thanks her for getting there so fast, but she just gives him a big hug. 

They decide that they need to do something about this Allison thing, too. Scott repeatedly punches Allison’s marker, until it cracks. 

Cut to the McCall’s. Scott, Lydia, and Argent are around the island, where the katana in its’ case is sitting. Argent asks Lydia what her drawings mean, and she says she has no idea. She hasn’t used her banshee powers in a while and is out of practice. When someone asks why, and she’s silent, Jackson walks in, saying “Stiles. It obviously has something to do with Stiles” 

Lydia called Jackson in from London to help, and Jackson states that Ethan doesn’t know he’s there, because he doesn’t want anything to do with BH. 

Jackson promptly starts putting Lydia’s papers together like a puzzle, which, surprise surprise, is in the shape of the nemeton, with the word “BARDO” written boldly in the middle (a refresher: bardo is the space between death and rebirth, as believed by Tibetan Buddhism) 

Cut to Derek’s house, where he’s pulling up to (in the ugliest tan vehicle, a Nissan Xterra if my eyes don’t deceive me. bring back the FJ. this is cursed). He and Eli go into the house, and when Derek goes to hang up the keys, he promptly rips the hook off the wall. 

He scolds Eli for breaking the law, yet again, to which Eli responds, “oh, because you never broke the law?” (good comeback, kiddo.) Derek then asks Eli if this is about “the other thing” and we learn that Eli still can’t shift, despite being 15. Derek insists that he can teach Eli, and Eli asks, “what if I’m the first hale to not turn into a werewolf?” 

Derek tells Eli that it might make life easier, and when Eli asks “my life, or yours?”, Derek doesn’t respond. Eli runs to his room, and Derek mutters, in the way a tired parent would, “definitely mine.” 

We cut to where Parrish is driving the Jeep back to the lot, and he drives by the building where the lot is housed, emblazoned, “Hale Auto.” (notes: ITS HALE AUTO. DEREK RUNS AN AUTO SHOP. SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP ETC. OHHHHH MY GOD) 

Parrish walks into the shop, into the office, and Malia enters, butt-ass naked, and ambushes Parrish with a kiss. (again. more on this later. because absolutely not). they have sex (off screen obvi this is still teen wolf) and they have a conversation that makes it evident that Malia wants them to remain friends with benefits, and Parrish wants a relationship. 

Cut back to Derek’s house. He knocks on Eli’s door, and asks him if he wants to practice lacrosse before his game (it was established earlier that Eli is pretty bad at lacrosse. it’s giving Stiles but more on that later) 

Eli doesn’t answer, so Derek opens the door, and it cuts to the open window, obvious Eli has run away. (why didn’t he hear that? not sure. whatever.) 

Cut back to the Preserve. Scott and Lydia pull up in Scott’s red truck to one of the gates, Malia standing there waiting for them. It’s obvious Scott hasn’t seen Malia since they broke up off-screen, because he’s weird about it. Lydia tells Malia she missed her while hugging her, and Malia says the same thing. Lydia replies “no you didnt” and Malia says “I wanted to.” that one kinda. it kinda got me idk. 

Scott and Lydia have asked Malia to help them find the nemeton. They have the katana with them. 

Cut back to... somewhere? An enclosed space, of some kind. Might be the weird Argent batcave. Anyways. Deaton and Argent are there, and Deaton is grilling Argent with riddles, which Argent answers easily, but with increasing agitation. Eventually, Argent snaps, and snarls at Deaton, face mutating to look similar to the oni. Deaton sends mountain ash into Argent’s throat, and a firelfy is forced out. It becomes evident to everyone at this point that the nogitsune is back, at least to everyone but Scott, Malia, and Lydia. ffs. 

Cut back to Scott, Malia, and Lydia. Malia is sending them in circles looking for the nemeton, and it’s obvious she has no idea where it is. Scott yanks Eli Hale from behind a tree (very reminiscent of Scott in s1e1), and Eli’s been following them. He divests that sometimes he sleepwalks to the nemeton. Super normal. normal kid stuff. 

Eli leads them to the nemeton, and they immediately try to get rid of him. Eli tells them they’ll tell his dad they’re here, to which they IMMEDIATELY (ie Scott) say “it’s kind of personal” which, from Derek Hale, is really fucking rich. but again. later. it’s pretty clear they’re excluding him because he might actually have, i dunno, an objective opinion. god. sorry. fuck this. 

Lydia gets the sword in the nemeton and the nemeton absorbs it. not to be that guy but this is obviously a bad idea and we all knew it. (note: i wanna know why we didn’t instantly think that this is a bad idea this is so obviously a bad idea) 

They all turn to leave, and at their backs, the nemeton begins to emit a light blue glow. they turn, and find Allison naked on the stump. Scott stares, and they’re all like “how is she alive??” like god guys 

They drive Allison to the hospital, where Melissa is the first person to go “why are you holding a girl that looks exactly like Allison” like a normal person. Melissa gets her set up in a bed, yknow the drill. 

Cut back to the nemeton, which is glowing and spewing fireflies like it’s going out of style. The nogitsune appears on top of it, manifesting out of smoke, and says “chaos! pain! strife” in his campy little way. 

Cut to Beacon Hills High, where the lacrosse team is filing in and coach is giving one of his goofy ass speeches. he was probably the only genuine nostalgia in this movie that I enjoyed. 

Eli drops his crosse as he walks in and runs smack into the Sheriff, who’s standing right in front of the stairwell. Derek is actually in the stairwell, lurking in what I would describe as classic Derek fashion. Derek tells him he’s there to watch him play, and when Eli tells him he’ll probably sit on the bench, Derek tells him he’s gonna talk to coach about that. Eli protests, but Derek calls out to coach, and the Sheriff blocks Eli from running after him. 

Sheriff tells Eli that he’s not really here to watch him play -- he’s here to provide support for Derek and his delinquent son. He then threatens to arrest Eli, have him tried as an adult, and put him in a state penitentiary for 90 days if he steals the Jeep again. Eli, looking nervous, asks if his dad put him up to this. The Sheriff says maybe, but asserts that he’d do it. 

Cut to Derek in Coach’s office, and asking for more playing time for Eli. Coach negotiates four minutes, and only if they’re winning. Which is very Coach of him. 

Cut back to the hospital, where Melissa, Scott, Malia, and Lydia are contemplating if Allison is going to wake up, or if she’s “normal.” Melissa is the one who asserts that we don’t know if this is the real Allison. 

When they look back, Allison is gone from her bed. She’s obviously going through it when we see her -- getting flashbacks from when she was actively trying to kill the werewolves, hearing Kate, Victoria, etc in her ears, and this is obviously the nogitsune. 

Allison, once they find her, is immediately combative, and trying to escape. She kicks everyone’s ass, including Scott’s, who she cuts across the cheek, and he heals, exposing himself as a werewolf. She only remembers Derek as the alpha, though, and wants to kill him -- she’s after the alpha. So she bolts, leaving them all behind. She runs into Deaton and Argent, who enter the hospital, and she runs from him, which is devastating for me even as somebody who is not an Argent girlie. 

Cut to the Sheriff’s Department, where Mason tells the Sheriff that they have another problem. They’ve caught pictures of the guy in a dark, heavy coat with a hood (it’s Harris. We know it’s Harris) and he’s the one who’s been lighting the forest on fire. The Sheriff orders Mason with Parrish, and a new deputy with him, to the forest to investigate. This leaves one deputy alone in the department. I’m sure we see where this is going. 

The deputy hears a noise in the cells, grabs his gun, and moves that way. The nogitsune is in the cell, and he tells the deputy he’s a kitsune who never knew he was a kitsune. He steals the deputy’s tails “to summon other bodies” which is about as frightening as it sounds. 

Cut to the Argent’s batcave, where Allison is currently arming herself with a crossbow, arrows, daggers, and a longbow. The nogitsune is whispering her name, and she goes, armed, into one of the weird side pipes, where the nogitsune is standing. The nogitsune tells Allison it’s her friend, she doesn’t believe him right away, so it starts impersonating Victoria. The nogitsune is convincing her to get revenge on the people that stopped it, and its plan is to have the betas killed before the alpha. Allison just doesn’t know who the alpha is, obviously. There’s mention of the divine move, again, yknow. 

Back to the BHHS locker rooms, where Derek is carrying Eli into the locker room because he twisted his ankle. Eli isn’t healing because he can’t shift, or whatever. Derek tries to encourage him to shift, and this is when Allison sneaks into the locker room, crossbow and all, and immediately starts trying to kill Derek. 

Derek reacts on autopilot, and starts fighting Allison, telling Eli to run. He slams Alison against the lockers, wolfed out, and Allison notices that his eyes are blue. Derek obviously recognizes Allison and falters, but manages to run out of the locker room door. While he runs out, he gets shot in the neck, and he is immediately gushing blood, lying on the ground and crawling away from Allison, who moves towards him purposefully. 

Liam shows up right on time to try and save Derek, along with Hikari, Scott, and Malia. Allison has left BHHS. The whole time Derek is bleeding he’s begging them to find Eli, make sure he’s safe, he’s gone to the shop. Scott tells Derek to hang in there, but Derek passes out. We’re unsure if he’s alive or dead (read: i thought he was dead. i was sobbing) 

Cut to the scene of the arson with the Sheriff, Parrish, and Mason. The Sheriff recognizes the noise that precedes the oni, and immediately draws his gun. The oni appear, and immediately start fighting the Sheriff and deputies. 

Cut to Scott’s truck -- Derek is still very much alive. But they can’t find Eli, and they’re afraid because he can’t run. 

Back to the Preserve with the deputies. Mason is immediately cut down by an oni, vanishing into smoke. It looks like the Sheriff is going to get cut, but Parrish catches his blade with a flaming hand. 

They’re carrying Derek into Melissa’s; he’s still bleeding from his neck, but keeps repeating “you have to find Eli.” At this point, Peter appears from god knows where holding a blowtorch? Because they mentioned they needed to cauterize Derek’s wound and people just. Have those. love you pete. Derek cries out “no!” repeatedly as Peter blowtorches his wound (spoiler alert: i cried like a little bitch again.) 

Scott goes looking for Lydia to fix this little clusterfuck we have ourselves in, and before he leaves, Melissa asks Scott if there’s any chance that this is really Allison (essentially encouraging him to give her a chance) 

Cut back to Eli at Hale auto. He’s driving Derek’s horrible car to fill it up, and the gas isn’t pumping well. It’s pouring rain, he’s nervous, and naturally Allison comes in hauling ass. She hits his car with hers, sending it into the pump, gasoline still pumping onto the ground. Eli manages to get into Hale Auto with his key. 

Cut to the Sheriff’s Department, where Lydia, Jackson, Hikari, and Liam are in the Sheriff’s office. They’re all looking for clues. like. scooby doo. 

And we’re back to Melissa’s! Where everyone (Melissa, Argent, Deaton, and Peter) has agreed that Allison is a replica meant to trick everyone. 

And back to Hale’s Auto! So much happening sorry guys. Eli is limping through the shop and the cars in repair, eventually sliding down against one. Allison is also lurking through the shop, weapons at the ready. Eli slips around, and grabs a wrench. (note: okay eli be smart about this you dumbass 15 year old) And instead of being smart, he lunges at her with a wrench and promptly gets his ass beat. 

Fortunately enough for everyone, because Derek Hale is down like Jeff Davis is so fond of, Scott shows up to save the day. They run out of the shop, and back by the impounded cars. Scott gives Eli the werewolf pep talk, naturally, because Eli doesn’t have a father already (sorry guys im so bitter), and he roars at Eli. Eli’s eyes flash gold, and he heals. Now they can run. They run through the forest, like they do in teen wolf, and Scott stops and tells Eli he’s gonna have to run. His hand is all gross where Allison cut him because wolfsbane, and he thinks he’s gonna try and talk Allison down. 

Eli says “my dad told me he almost had to have his arm cut off once because of wolfsbane.” Scott replies with, “Eli, go find your dad. I think I might need his help.” (note: oh NOW you need his help scott) Eli runs off, Scott’s facing off Allison. 

Back at the Sheriff’s board, and they’ve figured out that the arsonist is the same guy who was at Hikari and Liam’s place. Cool. 

Okay we’re back to Eli, who is running in the road and almost gets hit by somebody. That somebody is the Sheriff. Nice, Noah. 

Melissa, Argent, and Peter are at the crime scene (ie Hale Auto). Peter and Argent are going through the crime scene, deducing what’s going on. Peter states that Allison is basically in homicidal rage, which Argent states proves that’s not his daughter. Peter says they went into the woods, so they all go looking for Allison and Scott. 

We’re at Derek’s house now -- Derek and Eli get a reunion hug, the Sheriff comes in, and Liam and Hikari are there, too. The oni are now also in the hall of Derek’s house. Great. Hikari fights them first, doing a great job - and she’s been run through and has evaporated. The same thing happens to Liam, leaving Deaton, the Sheriff, Eli, and Derek fighting the Oni. The Sheriff goes first, followed by Deaton. Eli watches Derek get run through, and right before he evaporates, Derek says “remember who you are” (it’s giving mufasa but tell that to my tears). 

Cut back to the Preserve, where Scott is arguing with Allison to not try to kill everyone? I’m not gonna lie this was a broken record. 

And we’re back to the Hale’s, where Malia and Eli are running. Malia tells Eli to run, but Eli decides that now is a good time to growl and attack the Oni. He gets evaporated into smoke the same way as the others, and Malia manages to get rid of the oni by pulling tarp off the window and bathing them in sunlight. 

Scott tells Allison that she can get him if that’s what they need to talk, and STABS HIMSELF BY GRABBING ALLISON’S ARM AND SENDING WOLFSBANE RIGHT INTO HIS GUT. 

Jackson and Lydia have decided to go to the site of the arson, where they’re trying to figure out what the purpose was, etc. (notes i made: jackson and lydia cannot make up for stiles stilinski) 

Peter, Melissa, and Argent have made it to where Allison stabbed Scott (that overlook over BH), and Peter sniffs the ground, declaring it’s a ton of blood there, and that they need to find Scott within 6-8 hours so he doesn’t die. 

Alright, Malia and Parrish are looking for silver weapons to defeat the oni and decidedly not talking about the fact that they’re friends with benefits. this was unnecessary. 

Jackson and Lydia are back at the arson site, and they’ve figured out that the arsonist (harris) is trying to create mountain ash. the trees he’s burning are rowan, which turn into mountain ash when burnt. 

Meanwhile, Scott is trying to convince Allison that she wants him alive. He reminds Allison that her family’s motto was changed by her -- we protect those who cannot protect themselves, instead of “we hunt those who hunt us.” She promptly like, kicks Scott over. Scott, cmon, man. 

The nogitsune comes back, to try and convince Allison to kill Scott. 

We flash to some sort of shadow dimension illusion, where everyone who was “killed” by the oni is all tied up and decidedly not dead, fortunately. However, the Oni are back and they’re getting all menacingly close. This, however, does not stop Derek from being so excited to hear Eli changed. I may have cried about it. Again.

Flash to Peter, Argent, and Melissa, who are standing in the woods over the college lacrosse field, where a tournament is being played. We learn this is a trap from the nogitsune, and spoilers, this is where Allison has Scott. In like a storage room or something. This is, also, where we officially learn that the hooded man is Harris. Not that all of us called it or anything. But he’s the one who came up with the accelerant (like the hale fire. cmon guys. can we stop with the metaphorical dead horse.) 

The nogitsune is threateningly moving towards Eli and sinking his claws into him. I’m sorry I don’t remember what he said I was too busy thinking about the parallels between Eli and Stiles and how I was already too hurt to be considering that. 

Alright, back to Allison and Scott. Allison decides to save Scott by... burning the wolfsbane out with a flare? Despite having no wolfsbane? love the new canon, Jeff. Fuck you. 

Scott has flashbacks to Motel California when she approaches him with the flare, but she does actually save him, Scott’s better, and Allison is remembering. hooray for love. 

The nogitsune has spat Eli right out on the lacrosse field from the shadow dimension, and Scott and Allison come out from underneath it. Scott tells Allison to be safe, because she wants to find her dad, who doesn’t know it’s actually her and not some evil doppelganger. She asks him why he would be so kind after she tried to kill him, and then Scott says “because I’m still in love with you” (notes from the time of watching: you are not still in love with allison im fucking OVER IT) 

Lydia and Jackson are under the stadium with Harris, who calls Jackson “you fucking imbecile!” nice use of the fuck word, Jeff. Die. He also keeps shooting Jackson which is less than cash money of him. 

Eli and Scott learn that they’re stuck in the college stadium, because it’s a giant illusion. Scott tries to convince coach to get the people out of the stadium safely and calmly, and Coach informs him the only way to do that is to finish the game. So naturally, Eli has Scott’s old number (literally fucking kill me) and Scott is dressed? To score? and have BHHS win the tournament? whatever Jeff’s losing all of us at this point. 

Back in the shadow illusion, Derek explains that Eli hasn’t seen his transformation since he was like, 3, because coyotes got into the house, and he transformed and got them out by roaring, and Eli was so terrified he was shaking (notes: that’s so fucked I hate it here) 

And the lacrosse field again. Scott misses a goal so bad it hits the scoreboard and breaks it. Naturally. We learn, in a cut to Lydia and Jackson and Harris, that he’s been “pulling the strings and giving the nogitsune his pain” which he has in abundance or whatever. Lydia tells us that she had a recurring dream where she and Stiles get in a wreck, and he gets thrown from the car and dies. so she breaks up with him for that. i. okay. 

Peter gets the quick on Allison, bashes her head into fencing, and she knocks out. Meanwhile, Scott tells Eli it’s his goal, and he scores the game winning goal. 

We’re back to Argent, Melissa, and Peter. And a semi-conscious Allison. Argent decides that really is his kid, and he throws a wolfsbane knife at Peter. Which might be a bit dramatic but Peter would do the same so. whatever I guess. 

Black smoke begins to roll, and everyone has been swallowed by the illusion. 

We’ve now got Allison killing the Oni, which is feeling very reminiscent of s3. Meanwhile, Lydia and Jackson are back with Harris watching this happen, and Jackson is telling her that as a banshee, she can cut through the illusion with her scream. When Lydia yells Allison’s name, she knocks back the Oni, and apparently the sense into Allison, because we have an incredibly long flashback sequence that is Allison regaining her memories. Nostalgic, sure, but entirely too long because we all watched the show asshole. 

Scott cuts a deal with the nogitsune that if he dies in Allison’s arms, the nogitsune will let the others go. Derek yells at him to not, and Scott manages to convince Allison to kill him. She shoots him with arrows 3? times? I think? Anyways, he’s in her arms and it looks really glum. 

But then! The arrows are burning out of him, because Hikari is burning them? Don’t know the logistics but it happened. Scott’s wreathed in foxfire, nobody knows what’s going on, and Allison shoots the nogitsune in the forehead with a silver arrow. Sorry, this is where it gets very chaotic and i got very emotional so it’s jumbled as hell. 

The nogitsune asks “what is that?” and Argent says “Silver, you motherfucker.” 

Back with Harris, Jackson stabs him with a knife in his boot, and Lydia got his gun. 

The nogitsune has evaporated, I wrote down that Derek said fuck at some point. Everything is looking good right now. Eli and Derek are going to shift together. There was a lot. 

But now! The nogitsune is back. Saying that when Scott bit him, it changed him -- made him something more. His wrappings fall off, his eyes are glowing green, he looks vaguely werewolfish. (what happened to not being a wolf and a fox you fucking coward jeff. give me your address) 

The nogitsune sends everyone into their own room of illusion, which all the werewolves (ie: derek, scott, and eli) break by roaring. Now, they’re all on the nematon with the nogitsune, holding him back. I can’t remember how Eli gets from the nemeton to the ground, but he does, so it’s just Derek and Scott holding him back. 

Parrish comes up like, glowing pre-flame and is intending to burn him, and Scott tells Parrish to burn the nogitsune. Parrish refuses because Scott and Derek are holding onto him, and will die if he does so. Derek looks at Eli and rest assured you know exactly what’s gonna happen. It’s Derek.

He says something to Eli along the lines of like “remember who you are” and then tells Scott “you’re the alpha, Scott. It’s always been you” or something like that, then physically throws Scott off the nogitsune and the nemeton. Derek wraps onto the nogitsune while Parrish is holding on (why the nogitsune didn’t break free while Derek was throwing Scott off is beyond me it defeats the whole purpose of having Derek die) and tells Parrish, verbatim, “Light this fucker up.” 

Parrish lights him on fire and it spreads to Derek (this is when I stopped being able to see very well because Derek burned in fire just like his family oh god sorry I’m really unwell about it) 

right before Derek is engulfed in flames, he’s wolfed out, he’s looking at Eli, and his eyes turn from blue to red (true alpha. Right before he dies. I’m going to burn Jeff at the stake) And he goes up in flames, all of them do, including Parrish. When the flames clear, Parrish is laying on the nemeton, curled up, and it’s obvious that Derek died. The nemeton/illusion fades back to the lacrosse stadium where Eli is kneeling alone and Scott immediately gives him a hug obviously becoming Eli’s interim father and. I hate it. 

We flash to Derek’s memorial. I can’t see the tv through the tears, but that’s okay. Scott tries to make it about himself by saying “he saved my life. then he said we were brothers.” and says something about how family isn’t the one you’re born with but the one you find, which is easy for the guy who still has a fucking father to say, huh? 

Noah gives Eli the Jeep, explaining Derek hated that Jeep, but when it came to him in total disrepair, he fixed it right up. Even when it shouldn’t have kept going, it did. Then he says “your dad was a lot like that. we never understood why he wouldn’t break down and stay down. I’ve never seen anyone take the kind of punishment Derek Hale took and kept taking in order to protect the people he loved.” 

We get Derek flashbacks. I still can’t breathe. Sorry guys, I’m crying again. Apologies. 

“He kept going. He kept standing up, until the day he couldn’t. He had complicated feelings about that Jeep, but you don’t need to. All you need to do is keep it running. That’s all you need to do.” 

We get a bit about Harris being put in a worse place than Eichen but I truly don’t give a fuck. I’m actively crying again as I type this. 

The movie ends with “remember who you are” in Derek’s voice with Eli standing over Beacon Hills in the Preserve. 

Fuck. Jeff. Davis 

[scattered-winter]

the sheer amount of angst potential in carmen sandiego is INSANE

like. they’re fighting against a criminal organization that is so secret and covert, literally nobody knows about it (except ACME but they’ve been trying to find them for 20 years and turned up with nothing, so without Carmen’s intervention they probably never would have defeated them), but its roots are in LITERALLY every country. there are canonically VILE operatives that run nations and supercompanies. like. when you really get into it, VILE is ASTRONOMICALLY powerful. and the only people who both know about it and can actively fight against it are a handful of teenagers.

also like. the mindwiping thing??!!? it’s a kid’s show so it wasn’t really explored in depth but the implications are HORRIFYING. if they can wipe someone’s mind, they can completely rewrite a personality, or create sleeper agents left and right. they could kidnap random people off the streets, brainwash them, and then have an army of drones with the drop of a keyword. they manipulate and train their operatives to steal and kill without remorse or hesitation, and honestly the only reason why all the main characters made it through the show alive and unscathed was because of the rating because if it was a tv-14 or tv-ma rating, there’s no way everyone would have survived that shit

[henrysglock]

Every day I'm driven more insane by The First Shadow because it confirms so much just by existing, let alone the actual content of the show.

The team really went "No, no. You don't have all the information about Henry yet. We intentionally kept that from you. Also, all the adult characters? Yeah. They knew him. They all fucking knew him, which is why we couldn't have any of them be present in ST4. Kept that one from you too."

Just by making the play they confirm that there's at least another hour's worth of content at least tangentially related to Henry's story. We're missing so much about him if we just go off what we see in ST4.

Just by the synopsis, they tell us that Henry is already running from something, a Shadow that predates Hawkins and the Creel house. They also confirm that Henry might even have had friends. That some of those friends may have been the main adult crew. There are people who ought to remember him.

Like be serious. Be so so incredibly serious. Mindblowing.

[layzeal]

wei wuxian opening up to lan wangji at the foot of the burial mounds about why he can't simply stop cultivating the ghost path was his cat equivalent of rolling on his back and exposing his stomach while trusting lwj would not touch it

[helpimstuckinafandom]

Reassuring reminder that Jason got to find out that Leo was alive before he died

[aleppothemushroom]

The internet when Pixar's upcoming movie isn't literally a genre-defining, art house, greatest film ever made: CLICHE! CLICHE! PIXAR HAS LOST IT'S MAGIC! RIP PIXAR!

[tilions]

I am not over Obi-Wan trying to reach out for Qui-Gon in these two episodes because he does sound like he has been trying for years with no success but he's still believing it will happen eventually. The knowledge that he will manage that because he does become a Force Ghost in the end just brings up so many feelings.

[taegularities]

positively overwhelmed by this huge ass milestone </3

[queermasculine]

i just wanted to say thank you for your blog all your post are so gender affirming for me, a they/them lesbian who is still in a situation where i cant present as masculine as i feel myself to be, i love all the depictions of butchness it helps me feel much more at peace with my identity if that makes any sense so thanks <3

oh man, you saying that is really taking me back to when i was in the same situation. how i survived for so long not looking like myself, i have no idea. spent the entirety of my teen years just dreaming... now like half the stuff i thought was impossible has come true. thank fuck for those dreams i guess.

and thank fuck for your dreams, anon. hold onto them. they're made of powerful stuff, they'll carry you where you need to go. consider the present your prettyboy phase. that's what i see when i look at old photos of myself now. the masculinity was there even when it was covered in awkward florals, and it's in you right now. it's in your bones — the way you feel is evidence enough of that — and some day it'll be exactly as visible on the outside as you want it to be. i pinky promise.

[fuckyeahhellcheer]

We hit a milestone today with all of you lovelies supporting this blog! I’ve been mulling over the idea of a giveaway, but I’d really like to find some artists who are okay with me possibly buying prints (specifically Hellcheer) and then sending them to someone special by random selection. The reason I want permission is that it’s not my art to giveaway, even with a purchase of it. 

So. My question is if any of you lovely Hellcheer artists out there are okay with me possibly doing this to just celebrate a ship we all love and enjoy bouncing around in. However, if anyone (I mean anyone) has better ideas for a giveaway of some sort that can still be Hellcheer themed let me know! 

[zizoudane]

hi friends! 

so finally got my icon page up and running and these icons are totally not biased on who my faves are and if you don't see your faves...fear not! i'll make an icon just for YOU! simply send me a request and i gotchu covered :) 

 you can access the icons here under the ‘football’ tab

credit not necessary but pls don't steal them because i spent quite a lot of time on these!

thank you and enjoy <3

[jl-micasea-fics]

Why is that I, the most resting bitch faced cold -hearted cow I know, always end up attracting the fluffiest, sweetest, most pleasant humans? I don't have enough bubble wrap to keep you all in pls