#recurring chest pains

[icewindandboringhorror]

still have my 8 month long lingering chest injury that just came out of nowhere with no cause where it just flares up and I have a lot of pain near my collar bones and chest and shoulders for a few days, HOWEVER I have recently discovered that sometimes I can get temporary relief by sticking a wet q-tip up my nose to make myself sneeze, which on like the 3rd or 4th sneeze will occasionally audibly pop a little bone in the center of my ribs or something and then it doesn’t feel as bad. Hopefully there will be a better more comprehensive solution someday but also there would be a humor to that just being part of my regular routine forever now... like, oh hold on I have to go do my daily self induced sneeze sessions for my mysterious bone pain

[ghavialis]

The agonies!!!!!! very quickly becomes just .the agonies. you can live with anything I guess

[tripleyeeet]

PAINFUL VULNERABILITIES (5)

SUMMARY: When your past begins to blend into your present, you find yourself longing for Astarion's comfort.

PAIRING: Astarion & Female Reader

WORD COUNT: 3,648

WARNINGS: ANGST, hurt/comfort, body horror elements, descriptions of torture involving a knife, panic attack, sort of made up Illithid lore??? (I promise there's comfort in the end, I'm sorry!)

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Day 5 literally doesn't have a prompt because this idea got terribly out of hand so let's just ignore that and enjoy the angst, shall we?

(Also again, a lot of people's tags weren't working so next time if you haven't fixed it I will be taking you off the list because taglists are a bitch!)

CHAPTER LIST / MASTERLIST / NEXT CHAPTER

-

The nightmares start a few days later.

At first, they’re subtle. Wisps of darkness cloud your thoughts, leaving no memory behind. Silently it lingers, creeping through your skull in waves that inevitably crash against the shore, ripping you awake —leaving you breathless each time you’re left gasping for air in your dishevelled bedroll. When it happens, it always makes you jolt up to look around, trying to find the cause of your plague. The reason why you’re suddenly so wary to lay your head each night.

When you reach the Underdark they only get worse. 

What were once forgotten memories become recurring torments. Endless onslaughts of clawed hands that scratch at your flesh, pulling back skin in massive chunks that pluck excitedly at your insides. 

Thanks to the powers of the Illithid you feel every movement. Every poke and prod slips through you like a knife, cutting you down piece by piece until you’re nothing but a shell. An empty carcass of bone that’ll inevitably be harvested for a purpose far greater than yourself.

Or so she says. As you lie there, writhing in pain, blinking to shield the teeth that bear witness to your torture, you hear her whisper cool and quiet, telling you of your death. Of your fated downfall, and then of your— 

You always wake up before she finishes.

Before you can hear her utter the words you’ve heard a thousand times. Feeling the burn of your lungs, you stretch your fingers across your chest in remembrance, breathing in and out as the skin beneath your digits runs hot and you’re forced to forget the experience all over again.

When you reach camp that night, sore from the seemingly never-ending mushroom forage, you find yourself dreading the prospect of such sleep. Even through the exhaustion, the last thing you want to do is rest your head lest she arrives tonight, so you fight the urge, settling in against the edge of the fire. 

“You look tired.” 

You turn to look at Gale with half-closed eyes, offering him the softest grin you can muster before turning toward the flames. They seem brighter than usual. A decorative flash of warm-toned hues that make you blink and rub your eyes, somehow feeling even more languid. 

“Mushroom hunting take it out of you?”

You hum, making no move to look his way as you pull your knees to your chest, curling in on yourself for comfort. 

As much as you’ve grown to like Gale’s company, all you want right now is silence. A moment of peace where you can just stare into the fire and let your eyes burn from something other than the lack of sleep. Especially after spending the day alongside Lae’zel and Shadowheart as some poorly trained mediator. Just the thought of opening your mouth to speak feels like a threat to your vocal cords. The prospect of speech too much to handle, even as Gale begins to fill you in on his and Wyll’s misadventures with a nearby myconid colony.

“They’re truly such interesting creatures. Did you know…”

His voice falls on deaf ears, earning you nothing but a confused sigh once he realizes you’re not listening. Mostly because it’s not normal for you to just blatantly ignore your peers. 

“Are you alright? Need anything? Perhaps a drink or a—“

You’re standing upright before he can even finish his sentence, brushing the ass of your leathers before walking away, paying no mind to the curious wizard as he looks around the camp, catching the eye of Wyll who merely shrugs. 

It’s not like you to leave. To ignore a friend mid-conversation but your voice is gone. Lost to the void of constant intercession and a brewing anxiety that sits in your chest. As you walk towards your tent you can feel it shifting. Starting at your gut, everything twists to form a sickly sting. A stabbing pain that throbs within your abdomen, threatening to grow as you part the fabric and crawl inside, plopping into bed face first.

Despite your better judgement, you let out a low groan you’re sure at least someone hears causing you to frown, knowing that you’re better than this. Better than neglecting your health because of some silly nightmares. Better than letting the fear of your past get the better of you. Better than brooding about it. 

Turning to lie on your back, you palm the sockets of your eyes in frustration, letting your mind wander. Allowing yourself to feel everything you’ve been suppressing over the last twelve or so hours.

Aside from exhaustion, it’s mostly Astarion that surfaces. His face in the darkness looking at you as you left camp that morning, barely awake enough to give him a nod. In an instant it was as if he was there and gone, looking at you with an expression you couldn’t quite place before shifting out of view alongside an overly excited Karlach. It was the kind of look that made you question its intentions. Its knitted brows and pursed lips rising and falling through your memories between the scuffles of your two companions. 

As you walked along the edges of the Underdark’s cliff sides, you couldn’t help but wonder what exactly it represented. What emotion it was trying to convey in such a small amount of time before it disappeared completely? 

As you lie there now, once again imagining its form you feel it’s something bordering on pity. A showcase of solidarity in your obviously failing quest for sleep. 

Astarion may not say much about your struggles —unlike him, you don’t complain about the endless problems that you face on the road— but you know he’s still aware of them. He’s too perceptive not to be. 

So why hasn’t he said anything? 

A heavy breath escapes. A shaky one damaged by speculation. Ruined by the assumption that it’s because he doesn’t care. That perhaps you aren’t worth the trouble of a little bit of worry despite previous actions.

You may have killed for him —had his back long before anyone else, but have such feelings ever been reciprocated? Has your worth been proven now that you’ve slain a man in his honour? And if so, how much worth do you truly hold? Is it substantial enough to ask you how you are? Big enough to look at you with any semblance of fondness? Or is it all just for show?

There’s a part of you that hopes it is. That the moments filled with kindness are nothing more than lies told to keep your attention. If he were lying, it wouldn’t necessarily make the way you feel right now any better but it’d mean that there’s an end. A barrier to stop you from getting in too deep. An excuse you could use to explain the naivety of thinking he may care.

Because it wavers —his care. Some days it’s obvious, sometimes it’s not. You can never guess when the care will appear, only that when it’s there and eventually dissipates you’ll be left alone again, wondering why he puts the extra effort in at all. Why he reels you in only to let you go, forcing you to question his intentions as you watch with careful eyes for those moments of reassurance. Moments that you can never prepare for. Ones that gnaw at your heart with pointed teeth wrapped beneath hungry lips, starving for the truth. 

You’re not too sure you’re ready to take that leap yet. To push him for the answers you know he’ll just avoid. He’s never been quick to trust and even when he does allow you in there’s still a blockage of sorts. An obvious resistance that sits between you, forcing you to settle regardless of the fear you hold inside your chest, wondering what would happen if you tried to push. 

You assume it’d ruin you. That, more than likely, pushing too hard would only create an even deeper wedge, making the truth that much more unattainable, leaving you with less than what you started with. 

Shooting upwards, you groan again and breathe, resting your face against your open palms in irritation. 

All you want to do is sleep, knowing the only reason you’re thinking so much is because you’re avoiding it. If you think you can’t drift which means the nightmares can’t come, leaving you with two bad endpoints you know you have to choose between.

It makes you want to scream just thinking about it but instead of giving in to such desires you merely settle back down, pulling the fabric of your bedroll up to your shoulders before closing your eyes. 

You’re going to get some sleep whether or not it kills you. Whether or not you have to endure the pain of a thousand deaths all at once before you’re inevitably woken up in a stupor of suffering.

It doesn’t take long for you to drift. One minute you’re lying there, counting your breaths like sheep and the next you’re out, filtering through a darkness that feels all too familiar. At first, it’s just there, coating your skin in nothingness. Lost to the void of slumber, you’re at peace for the first time in forever but as expected eventually the shadows unfold. Part to reveal a body of pale skin wrapped around viscous veins full of the blood of many. 

It beckons you almost immediately. The flutter of that icy voice saying your name over and over until you come to call, allowing yourself to move. Letting your feet guide you to her presence, you feel the waves and how they threaten to spill over as you kneel before her, feeling her grab your throat. 

Her fingers twitch and curl but never grip as she leans forward, offering you a grin. “You’ve been avoidant.”

You don’t speak. For a moment your lips part, feeling the presence of her thumb glide across the base of your throat but you don’t dare speak.

“You know it’s coming, my dear. You can’t avoid it.”

Your tongue moves to wet your lips while you blink, trying your best to let the visions of her angular face blur into the night that surrounds you, realizing she looks just as you remember her. All papery and washed out —a mere shell of herself now that you’ve gone missing. Her features drying out with each passing day you find yourself separate. 

“Come back to me. Let me protect you.”

You swallow hard and turn your head, feeling the nails of her fingers dig into your neck prompting you to cry out. 

She doesn’t let you do much else. Quickly moving on from the one-sided conversation to grab her knife, you watch as she mumbles under her breath, turning the blade between her fingers with a grin. “In untimely death comes timely renewal, remember?” she says, letting it ghost across your bare chest, pushing the edge against it until it breaks the skin. 

You barely feel the first insertion. As the blade dips through the layers of your flesh, the only thing you feel is her breath. The pattern of air that puffs against your face as she recites those aforementioned words, taunting you as she pulls it down. 

In untimely death comes timely renewal. In untimely death comes timely renewal. In untimely death comes timely renewal…

As the knife moves lower, you repeat the words in unison like a mantra, struggling to get them out through gritted teeth as she works to cut you open. To slice your torso from the sternum down revealing countlessly re-healed bones and slimy organs that lie in waiting for her to pluck.

Hovering above you, her hands move to survey such handiwork, her fingers stroking the edges of your open skin before they inevitably dive right in, ripping you awake. 

You feel the pressure of her inside your gut before it really hits that it’s done. Shooting upward, you cough and double over in an instant, pressing your hands shakily to the ground in front of you. 

It’s the worst dream you’ve had yet. Longer than all the others, you can feel the adrenaline of it all penetrating your thoughts. Overthrowing every single anxiety you’ve ever felt as you sniff back tears, pushing yourself towards the entrance of your tent. 

Pulling it open, you look around the camp in desperation, catching the eye of Wyll who raises his brow, watching as you shake your head, slipping further into the ground.

Before you can even think he’s on you, reaching for your shoulders, asking you what’s wrong and how he can help. In response, you make no effort to reach back. To remedy your pain as you continue to shake and cry, sobbing out the cursed mantra through heavy gasps that leave him panicking. 

“Guys! Something’s wrong!”

As he calls out to the rest of the group, you quickly find yourself surrounded by familiar faces. All of them looking down to see your hysteria unfold. 

“What happened?” Dropping to her knees, Shadowheart’s the first to your side, moving her hands to cup your face before you swat her away, mouthing the words over and over and over again. 

“I don’t know!” 

“You don’t know?”

The two of them continue to bicker. As Wyll explains the way you crawled out of your tent, mumbling something about death, you force yourself to shuffle back, maneuvering your body so that you’re half sitting inside your tent again, watching it all unfold. Focusing on the confusion as Lae’zel and Karlach stand in the wings, muttering to each other words you can’t quite hear while Gale stares down at your mouth, watching the words you speak only to yourself as your eyes start to dart around. 

Surveying the rest of the camp, you wipe away your tears and try to breathe, forcing your mouth to stop its repetitions once you remember the ache inside your chest. 

Because of the Illithid, you can still feel her handiwork. Beneath your sweaty tunic, you can sense its edges burning —stinging from the aftermath as you press a hand to your sternum, making sure you’re still intact. Making sure your organs aren’t on display as you catch sight of Astarion coming up the path. 

He’s nose deep in a book when you see him, scanning the pages with interest before his eyes inevitably raise to see your nervous frame, curling into your tent. Then his interest fades. Evaporating into thin air before it’s replaced with fear. Genuine, heartbreaking fear that has him moving so quickly he fades out of view before reappearing in front of you. 

“What happened?” 

Just like Shadowheart, his hands cup your cheeks, gripping the plush as he lowers himself down, moving his forehead to yours. 

Unlike before you make no effort to push him away. Instead, all you do is frown and try to suppress the tears, clawing at his shirt with desperate pleas, begging him to stay. Begging him to tell you that everything’s going to be okay. Begging for him to lie and say he’ll protect you just like you did for him. 

Using your tadpole you beg him over and over again, letting the tears silently fall from your face, not caring that the whole party is watching.

All you need is him. In falseness or in truth, you don’t care. You just need him to ground you. To call you darling and to make you laugh. To make you feel like you’re something more than a vessel of organs one day destined for harvest. 

As your chest begins to heave, letting all the nightmares unfold all over again, you feel the tadpole behind your eye squirm in response, asking you to let him in. Without hesitation, you close your eyes and swallow hard, feeling his thoughts start to overthrow the visions of her and her knives and the mantra that sticks haphazardly across your brain matter.

I’m here, you’re safe.

For once it feels like a promise. A silent vow meant only for you as he ushers you further into the tent, saying something to your peers before closing it up. After that he readjusts the bedroll with gentle hands, always keeping a single palm against the small of your back, even when he guides you to lie against his chest. 

It’s the first time in weeks that you’ve felt safe. Resting a cheek just below his collarbone, you can feel your breath begin to return to its normal state. No longer ravaged by the panic of your dreams, it moves in and out, fanning the fabric of his shirt. 

“Was it a nightmare?”

You nod. Unsure how to explain it because, while it is a nightmare, it somehow feels so much more. 

“Of the past or?”

“Sort of.” 

He hums curiously, glancing down to see your hand slide up his chest to grip his shirt. 

“It feels like I’m answering a call.”

“A call?”

“Like there’s a person trying to reach me and when I answer I can… I can feel them.”

“Feel them?” 

You can tell he doesn’t quite understand. Not that you blame him for it. The whole concept of these nightmares still vexs even yourself. Leave you stumbling in confusion each night you find yourself awake, struggling to remember what’s real and what’s not. 

The nightmares are not as easily explainable as the actual torture you’ve endured. Especially considering that up until now there had been periods where the memories had died. Days where her face was nothing more than a splotch of white against a backdrop of black, slowly fading away. 

It doesn’t make sense why they're suddenly returning. Why your mind is forcing you to relieve these memories night after night. 

“Does your tadpole make it hard for you to dream?”

There's no hesitation when he says yes. No moment thought before his answer, making you wonder if maybe he too is experiencing these dreams. 

“I feel like it amplifies everything.”

Looking up to gauge his response, you can see the worry clouding his eyes. How his expression sort of fades into the abyss as his eyes focus on yours. 

“I dream of the past a lot. Of my life before this and… and I can feel it. Everything that ever happened I can feel all over again and it’s—“

“Painful.” His voice is broken. A crack in the mirror, shattering the often joyous image of his face as he looks away, blinking. 

Without even processing your movements you prop yourself up on your elbow, reaching over to grab his cheek and pull him back in. “I wish you didn’t understand how it felt.”

There’s a flicker of hurt that hits his face, enveloping his features before the previous sadness kicks in again and he’s reaching for your wrist, tightening around it. “Yes, well, not all of us get the luck of the draw when it comes to good lives.” 

“You should’ve,” you tell him.

He scoffs and closes his eyes, a faint smile pulling at his lips. “You’re probably the only one that thinks that.” 

You let your thumb explore his cheek. Let it move in soft circles, taking in the way it shifts beneath your touch. 

It feels strange to be this close to him even after all of the other intimate moments you’ve shared. Something about it feels softer, more honest than the rest of them, making your heart beat rapidly against your chest, threatening to burst. 

“I know it’s not my business but if you ever want to talk about it—“

He places a kiss to your hand, letting his lips linger against the pad of your thumb as he closes his eyes, reaching around to grip your waist. 

In an instant, the words drift out of your mind once you feel it; lost to a touch you didn’t realize you longed for.

Swallowing hard you lay back down to look away, feeling a bit overwhelmed at the tender image that unfolds as his arm shifts again, accommodating your movement. Making you feel that rush of comfort return as he pulls his mouth away and clears his throat. 

“I’m, uh… I’m not good at this kind of thing.” 

“Vulnerability?” you joke, earning yourself a snort. 

“I suppose that’s a word you can use.” 

“To be fair, neither am I.” 

You feel him shift to meet your gaze, looking at you with surprise. “Really now? I think breaking down in front of the whole camp just so that you can find me is quite the effort of—“

Before he can finish you clamp your hand around his mouth. “I was in shock, you bastard. I wasn’t thinking about my dignity.” 

Flexing around your palm, you feel him smile before he pulls away. “That’s good because there was absolutely nothing dignified about the way you looked at me back there. It was…” He trails off, his words catching in his throat for a moment before he clears it again. “You scared me.” 

There’s a moment of silence after that, lasting far longer for it to be deemed comfortable as you lay there, wide awake, wishing you could get him to talk to you. Hoping that maybe if you reach out with the Illithid he’ll answer your questions. 

Closing your eyes, you feel his presence in your mind already, vying for your attention in a way that has you both moving in closer, tightening your hold. 

Show me the dream. 

It isn’t a question or a request but a simple command that has you obeying —letting him enter your thoughts. Letting him stand along the sidelines as she guides you to the ground and cuts you open all over again. Letting him listen to the recital of words that are spoken behind two frozen expressions as Astarion pulls you tighter against him, placing his mouth to your forehead to stop himself from crying. 

-

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[rileyslibrary]

Where’s my pen, Lt.?

Summary: You’re PMSing, and Ghost comes to the rescue.

Relationship: Simon “Ghost” Riley x F!Reader

Word Count: 1,110

Notes:

Angst and fluff

Dedicated to my ✨ anon

Want more?

———————————————————————

How can you be angry, sad, and tired all at the same time? It’s a never-ending cycle. Every month right before your period, you feel like shit. What did your species do to deserve such a cruel and recurring punishment? What a selfish b*tch that Eve was. So much for taking one for the team.

You’re standing in front of a table with a shattered drone resting on its mahogany top. Fortunately, with the right tools, carbon fibre is easy to repair. Unfortunately, this army base doesn’t have the necessary equipment and personnel for the job. It can be a complex task if you don’t have the resources, especially if you lack the energy and strength to do it just by yourself.

Ghost is sitting in the corner of the room, cleaning his handgun. He looks calm—sirene—as if he didn’t just stare death straight in the eyes a few hours ago. How does he do that?

On the contrary, your movements are sluggish, you have terrible back pain, and you lack the motivation to complete even the most basic tasks. But you have to fix that drone for its next mission.

You catch a glimpse of yourself in one of the drone’s camera lenses. You’re unrecognisable. Your hair is acting up again, with unruly strands forming a halo at the crown of your head. Not only that, but your reflection reveals another issue. You take a closer look at your face. Fuck; another pimple. It decided to settle on your chin this time. Great—just great.

“Everything alright?” He asks, interrupting your thoughts.

“Y-yes, ready to start the process.” You answer with false confidence. Can he tell you’re faking it? Probably.

He says nothing but keeps staring at you with an unreadable expression, his silence giving an answer in itself. After what seemed like an eternity, he stands up and walks towards the door, exiting the room and leaving you alone.

You close your eyes and take a deep breath, exhaling in relief. Come on, get a hold of yourself. Focus.

You gather your hair up and fix it with whatever you have available in front of you. Now is not the time to be making stylistic decisions. You’re not here to compete in a pageant, anyway. What you need to do is fix that damn thing and fast.

You roll up your sleeves, grab your notepad, and open it on a new page. You pick up your p-

Where’s your pen?

You begin searching the table for your missing item, picking up drone components and putting them back in an unruly manner.

Maybe it rolled off the table!

You kneel on the floor, furiously searching for your pen as if you’d lost your most treasured asset. Where did it go? It can’t just grow legs and walk away! It must be here, somewhere.

You stumble as you rise to your feet, bumping your head on the table’s corner. Dizzy and frustrated, you stay on all fours, attempting to calm yourself with every ounce of dignity you have left.

Until you ultimately give up. So much for the confidence boost you tried to give yourself a few moments ago. You roll around and sit on the floor, drawing your knees close to your chest and burying your face in them as you let out a long, deep sigh.

“Is that part of the repair process, soldier?” Ghost asks as he re-enters the room, “do you grieve the drone first before you glue it back together?”

Today, of all days, he decided to act like an asshole.

“I misplaced my pen, Lieutenant,” you reply, still seated on the floor.

“You’re crying because you misplaced your pen.” He repeats in a deep, monotonous voice.

“I’m not cr- forget it.” You sigh defeated.

You can’t tell him what’s going on inside you. He’ll never understand. Ghost could take a bullet to the shoulder and still manage to climb a mountain while you’re whining about a minor inconvenience.

“Get up.” He commands, and you follow his orders. You pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and attempt to stand as straight as possible.

He stares at you with those interrogative eyes of his and slides something from across the table. You look down at the purple-wrapped rectangle in front of you.

A chocolate bar.

“I know what’s up,” he says, shrugging as he looks at the chocolate, “you tend to be like that a few days before.”

Your eyes widen in surprise. “How do you know?”

“I keep a log,” he explains. “I might be confident enough setting up an ambush in the middle of the desert, but I don’t push my luck with you.”

You crack a smile and accept the chocolate. “Thank you, Ghost,” you mutter, eyeing the piece of candy. He keeps a log, huh? What a guy.

“About that pen you were looking for,” he continues, “it’s in that patty of yours,” he explains and points at you.

In the what of yours??? You stand perplexed by his last statement until he gestures toward the back of his head. You mimic his actions and chuckle in embarrassment as you realise what he’s referring to. But of course! You used the pen to secure your hair. You exhale in relief and pick the pen off to set it on the notepad.

“You’re a lifesaver, Simon.” You reply.

“Keep your gratitude for the battlefield, soldier,” he adds dismissively. He’s obviously flattered, but he’ll never confess it. “Now tell me, how’s your back doing?” He asks, “still in pain?”

You nod. “Hurts like a motherfucker, sir.”

“Let me see,” he says, and you lift your hair up to expose the back of your neck. He moves in closer to get a better look, and you can feel the heat of his breath against your skin. His fingers are gentle as he works his way down your neck, kneading the soreness and pain away with skill. You wince as you feel his touch, but the pain is nothing compared to what it was before he began to work his magic.

“Oh, and, uh, Lieutenant?” You whisper softly, almost inaudibly, as you feel the tension leaving your body.

“Hm?” He murmurs, his strong hands now carefully massaging your shoulders.

“It’s called a bun,” you say with a smirk, “not a patty.”

———————————————————————

[pinkmirth]

nfl reiner braun tears his alc and requests the best surgeon to work on it. he gets, youuuu, sweet smelling pink doctor coat wearing you and he can’t even take you serious when you’re going over his chart or requesting to feel the muscle with those pink gloves on. you even look younger than him and he’s telling you: “darlin’, listen… im a big deal around here and i need someone to help fix me not give me a boner.” or something like that and you almost don’t have the heart to tell him that you’re the best that there’s ever been at this hospital.

RECOVERY, reiner braun !

୨୧ — pairing: footballer!reiner braun x fem!reader

୨୧ — synopsis: this doctor’s got a hardheaded patient! it’ll take some effort to convince him of your effectiveness . . .

୨୧ — contains: ( 1.4k words of . . . ) modern au, slight nsfw (more like suggestive!), footballer!reiner, surgeon!reader, fem!reader (black coded), reiner has an ACL tear, reiner’s touch-deprived/sexually frustrated, rei’s kindaaa conceited (just a little bit!), palming, minors shoo!

୨୧ — mira’s note: ramona, my love! i adore all your reiner concepts, they’re always sooo perfect 🎀 thank youuu for sharing your rei-rei thoughts with me :) now here’s a lil drabble for my gorgeous man! (not really proofread thoroughly, i apologize for any typos or mistakes!)

isopropyl.

it’s all that reiner can smell. he’s a healthy man, he hardly belongs here— in this chilled surgeon office with the most pale, unflattering lighting. the parchment-like exam table paper rustles beneath him with every stretch and maneuver he makes, and his weight is enough to pry a creak out of the treatment table every now and again.

a recurring clack of footsteps and the whine of the door lets reiner know that you, the ‘sexy doctor lady from earlier’ has returned from reading his screenings. he wasn’t able to catch your name amidst the splitting pain from his acl tear, so that’ll make do in the meantime.

you set down your clipboard and turn to face him. your dear patient appears a bit mussed from the big game that took place earlier— his golden hair’s all fluffy and wild, that red football uniform of his is streaked with the green of the field, and his left cheekbone got a little scratch somehow. you’ll make sure to dab that with rubbing alcohol later.

“your vitals are well above average.” you commend. his reply’s a mere grunt. he can’t bring himself to take you seriously. just fucking look at you; pink latex gloves pulled over manicured hands, welcoming eyes all doe and shiny, with a sweet glossed smile that he won’t forget for days to come. he hates having to meet such a beauty under these grim circumstances– after all, you’re the kind of woman he’d take out on a date.

“lucky for you, mister braun, your injury isn’t a complete tear . . . so your recovery time shouldn’t be too long. it’ll last about six months, give or take.”

he isn’t listening.

reiner isn’t even sure of when he began to space out; your lips are just so plush, so alluring. his surname sounds sweeter than it should when falling from your mouth. before long, you clear your throat. it’s enough to snap him out of it. “i’d appreciate your undivided attention, sir. we’re currently going over your healing plan— ”

“lemme ask you, sugar,” he interjects with a low rasp. reiner braun’s well known around these parts, and you can only assume that being such a big deal has gotten to his head. what he says next throws you off, “when’s the real doctor comin’ in, hm?” it’s hard to remain professional, but you do. no furrowed brows, no scrunched up face— nothing but a tight, forced smile.

you suck in a breath through your nose, maintaining composure. “what makes you think it isn’t me, mister braun?” he can hear the tinge of vexation in your voice. clearly, this footballer has struck a chord or two.

“you’ve got pink gloves on, barbie.” he snarks out a laugh, just a bit mean. he’s much too handsome for such a condescending tone.

you bring a gloved hand flat to his chest, pushing reiner back into the examination table. his breath catches in his throat when you knead your fingers into his thigh, right where the tear resides beneath firm muscle. you’re assertive, and goddamn, does he love it.

“i’m your doctor.” you assure, voice firm. he groans out at the calculated pressure; it feels good. makes the throb of pain fade, just a bit.

“you’ll have to put some faith in me, hm?” your tone is warm, words soft and patient in a way he doesn’t deserve. reiner can’t lie, it was crass of him to have undermined you that way.

“my apologies, doc.” he addresses you in the rightest way he can. it’s his tiny little way of making amends.

“so, how long— fuck, how long did ‘ya study for?” reiner tries for small talk, voice low and shaken. you’d like to believe that whatever left his lips just now wasn’t a moan. no, it was more like . . . a groan of pain, perhaps?

“about six years. graduated early,” no wonder you look just about his age, if not younger. all his previous doctors were just as old as his parents.

“smart and pretty, huh?” he graces you with a feeble grin, a white gleam of teeth surrounded by neatly trimmed stubble. it’s safe to say that he’s your hottest patient up to date.

you continue on with prodding into the thick meat of his left thigh, and those throaty whines of his make you feel a way you simply shouldn’t.

it’s been a while since reiner’s been touched this way. he knows it’s just a regular inspection for his stupid injury, but he can’t recall the last time a woman’s splayed their hands on his body. he’s always busy with football this, training that. there’s never any time remaining for hook-ups, talkless of a relationship. that being said, it isn’t long before he begins to grow excited.

“m— mister braun,” you call out, voice airy, “you seem a little, um . . . worked up.”

“huh?” his eyes flit up to meet yours. you lock onto his honey-brown pools of desperation.

nothing else is uttered. you wordlessly direct your gaze towards his crotch, and give him a knowing look. reiner finally catches on— he fucking knew he felt his bottoms getting tight. hesitantly, the blonde lifts his head to peer down at his pants. surely enough, a boner’s prodding at the centering cloth of his football shorts.

“goddamn,” he drops his head back onto the examination table, bashfully throwing his forearm over his eyes. humiliation eats at the proud man, reducing him to a jumble of hormones.

you can hardly bring yourself to contain your chuckle, which makes his reddened cheeks burn further. it seems that his bodily reaction to your skilled hands has given him a sense of humility at best, and embarrassment at worst.

“i’ve never been appointed to a lady before . . .” is his hushed excuse. he’s still got his eyes shielded with his arm— he can’t even fucking bear to look at you. it’ll only spur him on further.

‘i turn you on?’ is what you’re just longing to question him. you know that you do— he’s been looking at your lips with bated breath since he got here. not to mention the peeks he’d taken at your ass whenever you turned around to read his chart or grab a cotton ball.

it’s quite bold of you— more like dangerous— to bring your ministrations upwards, closer to the ache under his pants. you’d tell yourself to stay on task, but professionalism has long been thrown out the window.

your gloved hands trail mischievously, placed directly atop reiner’s hard-on. warmth radiates from your palm, and you squeeze. his eyes blink shut, hips gently bucking upwards. his tear burns from beneath his skin, but he doesn’t fucking care. he bets he could cum from your hands alone.

reiner eventually manages to pull his arm away from blocking his viewpoint, chest heaving with every passing second. if you were to use your stethoscope on him, his heartbeat would be nothing short of erratic.

“trust me, mister braun,” is your reassuring whisper, “you’re in good hands.”

[topmalereaderblog]

Five More Minutes // Miguel O'Hara

Breathe the air again, it's a beautiful day

I wish this moment would stay with the Earth

Some primal paradise

But there you go again, saying everything ends

Saying you can't depend on anything or anyone

When there is creation, there is destruction, life, and death. The universe has a balance, and when disrupted, it collapses, taking away everything and anything with it, leaving nothing but a blank void.

But Miguel didn’t know that, how was he supposed to. He wasn’t thinking straight, he wasn’t thinking with his brain but with his emotions the same emotions that kept him grieving the same, emotions that made him cry himself to sleep. He had lost everything in his world and was left with nothing. Living a lonely life, but then.

Then there was hope, hope that showed up in another universe, a universe where his husband was alive and they were happy. He was happy. He had a family, a father to a little girl, married to the love he had lost.

His thoughts consumed him, plagued him, and haunted him. Five minutes, that was his most recurring thought. Five minutes is all he needed, five minutes to act like another version of himself, five minutes to hold you and tell you he loves you one last time, five minutes to get to know the daughter he never had even if it was just a little bit.

But he couldn’t, the guilt eating him alive, the pain in his chest swallowing him and consuming him every day. But he couldn’t, it would hurt too much to go and then leave. Going back to his life a life where you weren't there and he was alone.

If the end of the world was near

Where would you choose to be?

If there were five more minutes of air

Would you panic and hide

Or run for your life

Or stand here and spend it with me

If we had five more minutes

Would I, could I, make you happy?

He did everything he could to distract himself while keeping an eye on the other version of himself the pain in his chest filling with hurt and jealousy. Instead, he waited, watched, and observed. Miguel questioned if this version of you would fall in love with him too if he could make you happy. Soon.

His opportunity arose when the version of himself that he grew jealous of died. Shot in the chest and left alone on a sidewalk. He felt guilty but relieved he knew his thoughts were sick when he felt a sense of relief wash over him but sad that the version of himself that was happy died. But it was his turn to be happy to play a role and act as another, taking the place of another as if nothing were wrong.

He was nervous. But as he walked into the house the thoughts in his mind crashed seeing you again. His heart skipped beats you- you’re his love, and you were back alive standing in front of him. A warm feeling spread around his body.

Five minutes, that's what he told himself, having a home dinner with you and Gabriella talking and enjoying the moment, a moment that soon turned into five days, then five months. Distracted with his own selfishness, happiness, greed, and lust.

And we would live again

In the simplest of ways

Living day after day

Like some primal animals

We would love again

Under glorious suns

With the freedom that comes with the truth

His brain couldn't function, and his senses were overwhelmed. His body felt hot sweat beading down and sticking to his body. His ears filled with your grunts as you thrust up inside him while simultaneously hearing the bed creek.

His hole stretched around you so perfectly, like a missing puzzle piece being filled and abused. His tight warmth sucking you inside as if trying to keep you inside him. His prostate was hit multiple times with every thrust you gave.

Grunts turned into sweet talk, your hot breath near his ear sending goosebumps all over his body.

"You like this Miguel- like me fucking you." You asked, watching as his whimpers and moans increased.

"Por favor no pares-," his legs wrapped around you, his hands feeling up and down your body as if making sure you were real, making sure you wouldn’t go anywhere.

Your thrust went faster and harder plunging into Miguel. His cock bounced with your thrust being neglected by stimulation leaking precum onto his stomach.

Your lips and hands wandered his body as words of praise fell from your mouth.

"You are such a good husband for me, fuck~ you're taking me so well," his hole tightened against your cock as he pressed his chest onto yours.

Your hands worshiped his body, treating it like porcelain. Go near the spot where he needed your touch the most but never fully.

"P- please." He gasped just a little more he needed this needed you to fuck him and worship him to take the guilt he had and make him forget even if it was for a little while.

A moan left his mouth as your hand grabbed his aching cock moving it with your thrust. "Come on baby cum with me."

And all too soon enough you came inside his reaching deep within him as your cum painted his hole. He bit your shoulder moaning and cumming with you as his thighs shook by the intense orgasm.

Was it wrong? Possibly, maybe, definitely. It's been five minutes since you fell asleep after another passionate night with Miguel.

How- why, why should something so wrong feel so right? He knew he had to give up the act, but nights like these, where you both could show your love for one another was something he lost, and now that you were back he didn't want it to leave.

You were his husband, his true love, and while he lost you in one world, you were here with him in another.

Nights where you would fuck Miguel were always his favorites. It was the time when he didn't care if he was right or wrong or crazy or sane he was with you and those thoughts that plagued him left his brain with every thrust every word his mind went numb.

If the end of the world was near

Where would you choose to be?

If there were five more minutes of air

Would you panic and hide?

Or run for your life?

Or stand here and spend it with me?

If we had five more minutes

Would I, could I, make you happy?

But then it happened again after spending the day with you and Gabriella. Something weird happened, everything around you started to crumble and disintegrate. He ran, holding onto you and Gabriella. Not again. He wouldn't lose you. He couldn't lose his new life, his new daughter, not now.

As he ran, Gabriella disappeared in his arms. He turned around, holding onto you tightly around your wrist.

"Miguel!"

"Well, be safe. We have to run." He said, not looking back. Tears fell from his face, sliding down his cheek. Five minutes and everything went quiet. He turned around only to see he was alone.

And with that, Miguel was alone again. He stood there sobbing and falling onto his knees for five whole minutes he sobbed but recomposed himself, trying to figure out what to do. Five minutes had passed, and the only thought on his mind was that he was back to square one alone and by himself.

So it finally came to pass

I saw the end of the world

Saw the madness unfold like

Some primal burial

And I looked back upon

Armageddon

And the moment of truth

Between you and me

Five years have passed and a lot has changed. He created his own organization filled with other spider people, each with their own story.

Then hope arose again a new spider person not just any but you, his mind went blank seeing the screen in front of him. Wearing a suit and taking out bad guys. Was this the universe's way of giving him a second chance? Were you made just for him? Did you have your own version of him? If so, could he take them out just like the last time?

The last thought in his mind echoed in his head. This time, it would be different, just five minutes. And with that, he opened a portal and stepped inside. Leaving his lab and getting ready to (stalk) recruit a new spider.

If we had five more minutes of air to breathe

And we cried all through it

But you spent them with me

On our last few drags of air, we agreed

I was, and you were happy

[leaentries]

don’t worry, i’m here | nico hischier

summary: when nico’s girl has reoccurring nightmares, he just wants to help her

warnings: brief descriptions of anxiety, drowning, emptiness, a little bit of swearing

wc: 800+

Sweat formed at the top of your hairline, hands gripping the pillow below your burning hot skin. Your eyebrows furrowed as you began to toss and turn in the shared king bed. Fear trembled through your body. The horrifying images flashed through your closed eyes, your breath picking up rapidly. Your body began to shake as tears finally began to pour down your reddened cheeks. 

This recurring nightmare had been plaguing your sleep for weeks, you had yet to figure out why. The thought of having to relive the god-awful dream again was enough to have you clinging to the coffee machine on the marble countertops, desperate to fill your body with artificial energy. With Nico being gone on a roadie, your dream only intensified. 

The vast empty space was deafening. No noise, yet it was impossibly loud. There was no movement, but still, your eyes couldn’t seem to focus on anything specific. Everything was too blurry, too vague. You began to walk forward, hoping to find some solace from the deep pitted loneliness in your abdomen. That’s when you saw him, Nico. 

You picked up your speed, craving his arms to ground you back to reality. Yet, the closer you got the farther he would move. You ran for what felt like hours, chest heaving and a panging soreness had taken home in your ribs. Your body felt heavy as anxiety scratched at your throat. You came to a stop. You doubled over, trying your best to breathe properly. Looking up at the inky sky, you felt the sobs leave your mouth, “N-neeks? Nico?” You asked. 

But no reply came. Nico was gone. 

You closed your eyes, head still tilted upwards. Just when you finally felt like you could breathe again, a wetness licked at your bloody knees. Peering down, you noticed water began to rise quickly, now covering your mid-thighs. You stood up, frantically searching for any sort of high ground. Nothing. There was nothing or no one to help you. As the water rose your body from the ground, you tried to swim, attempting to keep your head above the waterline. 

Panic set in as your body began to sink. No matter how hard you paddled, your body sank lower and lower, until you finally sucked in your last breath. Dunking under the water, your lungs began to burn, throat constricting with the need for air. The pain was so unbearable, your mouth finally opened to scream.

You shot up in bed, your own scream waking you from the ghastly nightmare. Tears streamed down your face in thick rivers as you blubbered into the comforter. The twinge of relief was soon diminished as you looked to Nico’s cold side of the bed. 

Damn it. 

Your body craved Nico’s assuring presence more than anything right now, but he wasn’t due home until the next day. More sobs racked your clammy figure, guttural cries muffled into the walls of your room. If you weren’t so caught up in your mind, maybe you would have heard the door open, paired with the rushing footsteps leading to the bedroom. 

“Y/n?” Nico’s frantic body ran to you. Still to out of it, you continued to cry as his arms pulled you into his chest. You wailed into his hard muscles, clinging onto his biceps. Nico’s face showed nothing little of pure worry and agony. His heart felt like it was physically being ripped out of his body at the sight of you.

He cradled you as close as he could manage without crushing your trembling figure.  

His hands stoked your hair soothingly, trying his best to calm you down. Gently rocking your form, he whispered sweet nothings into your ear.

“Don’t worry, I’m here.”

“Nico’s got you, schatzi. No need to cry.”

“Nothing’s gonna hurt you while I’m here, baby.” 

"It's okay, it's okay. You're okay."

Once you had finally calmed down enough to register what was happening, you lifted your head from Nico’s chest. “N-neeks?” You croaked, voice hoarse from the screaming and crying. Your bloodshot eyes met his own and Nico nearly lost it. 

“Shhh, schatzi. I got you, you don’t need to worry about anything right now.” He spoke softly, so as to not raise your anxiety. 

You laid your head back onto Nico’s chest as he maneuvered you both to be lying down. He placed his warm hand on your back and the other on your head, holding your body protectively. “Do you want to talk about it?” He asked after a few moments. 

You shook your head, still not quite ready to face that dream again. “I just want you to stay. Please stay, Nico” You begged. Your hands dug into the material of his shirt, scared he would disappear. 

“I’m not going anywhere, schatzi. I’ll be by your side until you tell me to go.” 

[genshinluvr]

They Don't Deserve You

Pairings: Various Genshin Men x Isekai'd!Reader

Summary: Before going to bed, you suffer a painful headache. Baizhu, Dottore, Albedo, and Tighnari couldn't pinpoint the issue. Right before falling asleep, the headache comes back and knocks you unconscious. You end up waking up back in your world, only you didn't wake up alone in your bedroom. The men have teleported into your world with you.

Note: Omg, finally, a fic where the reader and the men are in the reader's world! This is a request, so keep that in mind! I didn't make the men meet the reader's parents because, well, how does one explain to your parents about having almost thirty men in your bedroom? So, instead of the men meeting the reader's parents, they will be overhearing the things that are said to the reader. I think this counts as a hurt/comfort fic. To the new and returning readers, please remember that I don't post anywhere else but on Tumblr (Genshinluvr) and on AO3 (Aaliah_exo).

Warnings: The reader gets compared to their cousin, and there's tension between the reader's mom and the reader, the ex-boyfriend.

Word Count: 9.5k

Before you and the twenty-five men went to bed, you had been experiencing a headache that felt like your skull was being ripped into two. The headache hurts so much that you nearly faint. It sent you straight to the infirmary room where Tighnari, Dottore, Baizhu, and Albedo are trying to figure out the cause of your headache.

“No fever, no chills, no coughs, no runny nose,” Baizhu murmurs, feeling your forehead.

Tighnari pinches the bridge of his nose. “They’re not sick, but they have a head-splitting headache that nearly made them faint,” Tighnari says, looking over to where you lie.

Dottore drapes the blanket over your body and places the prescription drug back on the shelves. The headache you’re experiencing would thunder through your skull; it would happen out of nowhere, sending sharp pains and hindering your activities. It’s not a migraine, though it can be mistaken for one. The headache came out of nowhere.

“Are you sure it’s not a migraine?” Dottore asks, turning to look at you.

You nod hesitantly. “I’m sure it’s not a migraine. I never get migraines,” you whisper, wincing when the headache reappears. 

“Well, anyone can get a migraine. Headaches and migraines can be caused by stress. Still, people can also get diagnosed with chronic migraines,” says Albedo, sitting beside you on the examination bed. 

“I don’t have chronic migraines. I would know if I was diagnosed with it,” you murmur.

Footsteps coming from the hallway echo, getting louder as the person approaches the room you’re in. Diluc steps into the room and knocks on the door to grab Tighnari, Dottore, Albedo, and Baizhu’s attention. You bring the blanket up to your chin and close your eyes, your eyebrows pinching up from the aftermath of the headache. Diluc’s eyes are locked on you, his heart squeezing in his chest when he sees the state you’re in. 

Diluc crosses his arms over his chest and leans against the doorway. “If you’re all done checking up on [Y/N]’s condition, I believe we should take them to their room so they can rest,” Diluc says.

You slowly throw the blanket off your body and get off the examination bed. You’re relieved that you didn’t set off a thundering headache by getting off the bed. You walk to Diluc, who holds his arm out for you to take. You loop your left arm around his right arm and give the four men a weak smile.

“Thank you for taking care of me. I appreciate it. I hope the medication will help me with my headache,” you say.

“We’ll find the answers. We promise,” Tighnari says, smiling at you weakly.

Baizhu nods. “And as long as the headache isn’t recurring, then you should be okay after taking the medication. But for now, please get plenty of rest and drink some water,” Baizhu pleads.

Baizhu walks up to you and presses his lips against your forehead. You reach for Baizhu’s hands and squeeze his hands before letting Diluc escort you to your bedroom. The way Diluc held you while walking you to your room is like him holding fragile glass. He’s afraid that he will hurt you or trigger your headache. Diluc guides you to your bedroom, pushing the door open. 

The two of you walk into your room, and Diluc helps you sit on your bed. You slowly lay down and pull your blanket over your body. Diluc fluffs your pillow and tucks you into your bed, pressing a gentle kiss on your forehead.

You close your eyes and watch Diluc walk to the window, pulling the black-out curtains closed. The nightlight in the corner of your room turns on when your bedroom turns pitch black. Diluc closes the door behind him, not before taking one last peek into your dark bedroom before shutting the door. You curl up into a fetal position, hugging your knees to your chest and burying your face into your body pillow. You peek from your pillow and crack one eye open, bleary eyes focusing on the small light in the corner. The nightlight gives you slight solace. 

Just when you’re able to drift off to sleep, the familiar pain creeps up on you. You whimper in pain, clenching the blanket in your fist and squeezing your eyes shut. You begin hearing ringing in your ears. At first, the ringing in your ears was quiet, but it gradually got louder, almost deafening. White hot searing pain suddenly shot through your skull, knocking you out cold.

When you come to your consciousness, the light shining through your bedroom window shines in your face. You groan and cover your eyes with your hand, grumbling about wanting to sleep in more. The sound of your phone chiming made you freeze. You slowly open your eyes and sit up, only to see that you’re back in your world. You scramble out of your bed, accidentally stepping on something and tripping over something.

“Ouch! You stepped on my face!” Itto groans, rubbing his face with his hand.

Your eyes nearly pop out of your skull when you see the men sprawled out on the ground, coming to their consciousness at the sound of you falling and Itto groaning in pain. Once everyone has regained consciousness, they all look around and see they’re in an unfamiliar room.

“Where are we?” Gorou asks, his ears twitching at the sound of cats yowling, hissing outside the window, and dogs barking at the sound of cats yowling.

They all get off the floor of your bedroom and dust their clothes. You purse your lips, debating whether you should tell them that they’re in your world and your bedroom specifically. But you think it’s evident that the room is yours because of the plushies in your room and your shrine of a particular Genshin man.

You push past the men and walk to your phone, checking to see what time and day it is. It felt like a few months had passed for you while you were in Teyvat, but according to your phone, only two days have gone by. While you’re scrolling through your phone to see if anything has changed, the men start to survey their surroundings.

Posters and framed signed prints hang on the wall, and books are stacked haphazardly on a small bookshelf tucked in the corner of your room, a stack of hats on an electric fan. Your bed is filled with many plushies, five pillows, and seven blankets. In front of your bed is a desk with a flat monitor, a large glowing machine box underneath the desk, and seven water bottles sitting beside the monitor.

“I just noticed that [Y/N] has a lot of pictures, small statues, and stationary that looks like him,” You hear one person grumble.

“Yeah! Me too! Why him and why not me?!” Someone else exclaims, pointing at the prints on your bedroom wall with a pout.

Someone snatches your phone from your grasp, forcing you to look at the disgruntled men around you. You stare at the men like a fish out of water, unsure of how you’re going to answer their question. Quite frankly, you didn’t think this day was going to come. And now look at you, having to explain to all of the men why you have so much merchandise of a particular Genshin man that is standing in the same room as you and the others. The man in question was blushing and flattered that he was your favorite out of the rest of the men in the room (and the relationship).

“To be fair, I did not think I was going to be thrown into your world so suddenly. What I also didn’t expect was to return to my world with all of you accompanying me,” you said. 

You made sure to look around your room to not make eye contact with anyone. One of the men walks up to your body pillow, yanks it from your bed, and holds it in front of your face. You feel your face become warm, and you shut your eyes, turning your head away.

“Then explain the body pillow with them on it,” you hear a disgruntled anemo user mutter, glaring at you through his lashes. 

You snatch the body pillow and throw it back on your bed, face hot with embarrassment. “My cousin got it for me as a gag gift! I’m not going to throw it away!” You huff.

Before someone can interject, everyone hears a knock coming from the door. Your eyes widen, and you press your index finger against your lips, gesturing for the men to be quiet. The men around you freeze, and you slowly tiptoe toward your bedroom door. 

You stand in front of the door, keeping your eyes on the floor. “Who is it?” You ask.

“[Y/N]? Are you still upset about the conversation we had a few days ago?” You hear your mother ask through the door.

You sigh, suddenly remembering the conversation you had with her a few months ago. It was a few days ago to her, but for you, it has been months. The men look at you curiously, and you shake your head, not wanting to explain to them what it is.

“Mom, I don’t want to talk about it. I just want to be left alone, please,” you plead.

You hear your mom scoff from behind the door. “I do everything for you, and this is how you treat your mother? You’re such an ungrateful child,” Your mom hisses through the door.

Your mom stomps down the stairs while muttering curse words under her breath about you. You walk over to your bed and sit at the edge, pinching the bridge of your nose. You returned a few minutes ago, and now you’re dealing with the conflict between you and your mother already? 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Dainsleif asks, unsure how to process the interaction between you and the woman who gave birth to you.

You shake your head. “No. I don’t want to talk about it,” you scratch your head, “I don’t know how long we’ll be here, but you will see a lot of things about my family,” you roll your eyes.

“Oh? Will we be meeting your family?” Kazuha asks, not taking his eyes off the pictures of you and your friends hanging on the wall. 

You press your lips into a thin line before answering, “That, I don’t know. My parents never let me date anyone or go out and hang out with my friends,” you sigh. “I’m not sure how they’ll react to seeing twenty-five men in my bedroom,” you chuckle.

“Putting that aside, does anyone know how we all get thrown into [Y/N]’s universe?” Thoma asks, looking around nervously.

Everyone shakes their heads. It was strange how you were back in your world with the men accompanying you. The last thing you remember was getting a head-splitting headache, knocking you out cold. You’re not sure how long you and the men are going to be in your world, but you hope it won’t be too long.

“What’s this?” Aether asks, holding up your phone.

Your phone’s screen turns on, showing the background of your phone. The background of your phone is a particular Genshin male character. Your eyes widen, and you snatch your phone from Aether, feeling the heat return to your face. 

You clear your throat. “You didn’t see that,” you said.

You walk to your phone charger and plug in your phone. After plugging in your phone, you collapse onto your bed and close your eyes. It has only been a few minutes, and you already want to return to the abode to escape your life in your world. You prefer your life in Teyvat; no one is complaining about you, no one is starting drama with you, you’re not being compared to your cousins and siblings in Teyvat, and you live with your twenty-five boyfriends!

“You know what you should do?” Kaeya asks, sitting beside you.

You peek up at Kaeya. “What?” You ask.

Xiao points at every electronic in your bedroom. “Explain what these things are and why you have a glowing box under your desk,” Xiao crosses his arms over his chest.

You sit and blink owlishly. “Shit, I did not think this through,” you mutter, running your hands through your disheveled hair. 

“Start with something that is easy to explain,” Zhongli suggests, his eyes not-so-subtly shifting to your bedroom wall that consists of prints of a certain Genshin man.

You got off your bed and went to the closest thing to you, your computer. You turn your computer on and switch the button at the bottom of your mouse. The mouse lights up, and the monitor lights up. When the monitor loads, you almost want to slam your head on your desk because of the background.

“You are quite obsessed with that man,” you hear someone mumble.

You cover the monitor with your body, clearing your throat awkwardly while entering your password to unlock your computer. You’re pretty shameless when it comes to simping over your favorite Genshin character. Still, now that it’s in front of everyone, it’s almost humiliating. But you’re not ashamed of loving this particular Genshin man.

“Forget about the strange technologies in your bedroom. I want to know why you’re obsessed with him and not me,” the blond grumbles, looking over in the sheepish man’s direction.

You let out a sigh. “I’m not going to explain my unhealthy obsession with him, alright? Plus, if my parents hear everyone speak, they’ll be suspicious of what’s happening and would try to walk into my room,” you said.

Heizou raises his hand. “What if we end up getting hungry?” Heizou asks, cocking an eyebrow at you.

You stare at Heizou and the other men around him, who nod at Heizou’s question. If you were to go downstairs to fetch something for all of the men to eat, your parents would be suspicious of what’s going on. Not only that, but you’re not entirely sure if the men will be able to stomach the food in your world. They should be okay, right? 

“I’ll order something for us to eat. The issue is the small space in my room, and all of you need to get some fresh air and stretch your legs,” you murmur. “I’ll be right back. I’m going downstairs to see if my parents and siblings are home.”

You squeeze through the crowd of men in your room, slowly open your bedroom door and peek your head into the hallway. Your parents are talking to one another, and the sound of car keys jingles. You walk out of your room, close the door behind you, and step down the stairs. When you reach the living room of your house, you see your parents putting their shoes on, and your dad has his car keys in his hand.

“Oh, look who finally decided to leave their room,” your mom says, crossing her arms over her chest.

You ignore your mom’s snide comment. “Where are you two going?” You ask.

“Your aunt invited your mother and me over to talk,” your dad replies.

You notice the house was a little bit too quiet. It was too quiet for your liking. You didn’t hear your sister talking on the phone with her friends, nor did you hear your brothers screaming at the top of their lungs while playing video games in their bedrooms. 

“The house is too quiet. Where are Andrew, Alex, and Alice?” You inquired, looking around for any signs of your siblings in the house. 

You look at the shoe rack, noticing their shoes aren’t on the shoe rack. The area where they put their shoes is empty. 

“Alice went to the movies with her boyfriend a few minutes ago; her boyfriend picked her up. As for Andrew and Alex, they left to go to the gym not too long ago,” your father replies. 

“We’ll be back in a few hours. If you’re hungry, there’s food on the stove for you to heat up,” your mom says, putting her coat on. 

You shivered at the thought of being the topic of gossip. You have been the main topic a few times before, and you certainly hope your parents won’t bring you up in the conversation. Knowing your family, they will be gossiping for hours while eating seafood. Your mom unlocks the front door and the gate, stepping out into the cold. Goosebumps immediately take over your body, sending sharp chills down your body. You wave them goodbye, closed and lock the front gate, then the front door. 

You peek through the window blinds, watching your parents walk to the large white SUV your dad drives. The car roars to life, the headlights turning on, shining the things in its path. Your parents pull out of the driveway and drive off. A sense of relief falls over you after your parents leave. You turn to go back upstairs to inform the men but nearly go into a cardiac arrest when you see that they have been standing behind you the entire time.

“How long have you guys been standing there?!” You hissed, clutching your chest.

Your heart punches your ribs while you try to calm your breathing. The men examine your house, looking at the furniture and technologies curiously.

Al Haitham is the first one to reply. “We went to check and see what took you so long to return to your room. Someone,” Al Haitham looks at Kaveh with a blank stare, “was too impatient to wait for your return.”

“Hey! Am I not allowed to be worried about [Y/N] and their safety!?” Kaveh demands, glaring at the acting Grand Sage with his hands propped on his hips.

Pierro closes his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest. “You’re allowed to worry about [Y/N], but did you forget that we’re in their house? They’re safe,” Pierro says, opening his eyes and scanning the living room of your house. 

“In case you’re all wondering, unless you all eavesdropped on my and my parents' conversation, they’ll be gone for a few hours. My sister is out with her boyfriend, and my brothers went to work out at the gym,” you said, walking to the kitchen. “There’s food on the stove for us to eat, but I’m afraid there won’t be enough for us all.”

“You mention something about ordering food for us to eat. Would that solve the problem?” Cyno asks.

Your eyes light up. “Oh, right! Thank you for reminding me, Cyno!” You throw your arms around Cyno’s shoulders, hugging him tightly. “I’ll be right back,” you pull away from the hug, “I’m going to get my phone and DoorDash something for us to eat.”

You weave through the men and jog up the stairs for your phone. You unplug your phone from the charger and dash back downstairs. You panted and unlocked your phone, swiping to the DoorDash app on your phone. The men crowd around you to see what you’re doing on the small device that has a touch screen.

“What kind of food are we all in the mood for? Just a side note: there are a lot of us, so the price of the food and delivery will be on the expensive side,” you said.

“I’m open to trying anything. Therefore, I think you should pick out the food because this is your world, and you’re more familiar with the food than we are,” Pantalone says.

You stare at Pantalone, then look around. You’re not opposed to ordering food for the men, but you don’t want to order the things they won’t eat or can stomach. You purse your lips and tap your foot on the ground, trying to think of something to order. There are all types of food on DoorDash! The issue is deciding where you’re going to order and how much it’ll cost to feed almost thirty people.

You ended up ordering from different fast food places, unsure what the men would like to eat. Since they’re in your world, you might as well introduce them to the food from your universe. Plus, the foods from Genshin Impact aren’t too different from the food in your world. The only thing that’s different is the ingredients.

Seeing the price you’re paying for the food and delivery, you can hear your bank account crying in the distance. Let’s just say that it’s almost seven hundred dollars, and you ordered a lot of food for the men; they have big appetites. You tuck your phone into your pocket and collapse on the couch face down.

“What do we do now?” Capitano asks.

You lift your head and stare at the men. “We wait for the food to be delivered. I ordered a lot of food, so it might take a while,” you said, resting your cheek on the leather cushions. “When the food arrives, we can watch the TV for some entertainment if you guys want. Or we can just talk! Up to you guys,” you shrug your shoulders.

You and the men end up sitting and talking around the kitchen area while waiting for the food to be delivered. While standing around in the kitchen, the men look at the air fryer curiously. Dread falls on you when you realize that you need to explain to them what specific items are if they point at them like a curious child.

“Anything you have a question on, I will try my best to answer them,” you said.

After announcing that, questions came almost immediately. The first item to be questioned on was, of course, your phone. You explained to the men what a phone is and how it functions, and what you have on your phone. From the pictures to the apps to the people on your contacts list that you would text or call from time to time. 

“What’s social media? It sounds a little bit intimidating,” Aether mutters, pressing on the Instagram app.

“It’s a website or an app that allows people to create and share content or network with those worldwide. It keeps us all connected to each other. Still, at the same time, it also disconnects us from one another because people are only focusing on their phones rather than the person they’re with,” you said.

While Aether scrolls through your Instagram, the men look over Aether’s shoulders to see what he’s doing. The people you follow look and dress interestingly. Some are at parties, concerts, or a casual day out, pictures of dogs and cats, and people dressing up like them or the people they know back in their universe. Out of sheer curiosity, Aether presses on your phone and starts to scroll through it. You only have twenty-two posts on Instagram. There are pictures of you with your family and your friends. There are also many selfies, a few photos of you at some event, and a— wait a minute.

“Who is that?” Heizou asks, clicking on the post.

You push yourself off the counter and check to see what they’re looking at. You nearly smack yourself for not deleting that post. It was a picture of you and your ex-boyfriend that you posted a few months ago. You grab your phone from Aether’s hands and quickly delete the old post, your face feeling hot.

“It’s no one important,” you mutter.

Ayato crosses his arms over his chest and raises his eyebrows at you. “You and that man were hugging in the picture, and he was kissing your cheek. He doesn’t seem like a nobody,” Ayato says, looking at you skeptically.

You put your phone on the counter. “He’s not in my life anymore, so he’s technically a nobody.”

Childe wraps his arms around your waist and rests his chin on your head. “Even if he’s no longer in your life, I’m sure we’re all curious about who he was to you,” Childe murmurs. Childe buries his face into your neck, tightening his grip on your waist. After seeing that picture of you and the mysterious man, the men couldn’t help but feel jealous that you used to date someone that wasn’t them.

You let out a sigh and rested your head on his shoulder, puckering your lips. “He’s my boyfriend. Well, ex-boyfriend, to be more specific. I broke up with him a few months ago in my world, and the breakup was messy,” you shivered.

“How was the breakup messy?” Gorou asks, blinking at you owlishly.

You’re about to answer Gorou’s question when your doorbell chimes, startling you and the men. You walk to the front door with Childe still attached to your body. The first batch of food has arrived, and you’re beginning to salivate at the aroma of food from the delivery bag. Childe and Kaveh help you bring the bags into the dining area.

“There’s still more food coming. I ordered different types of food that I think you all will like. The food in my world isn’t so different from the food in your world, other than the ingredients,” you said, tearing open the bag.

“You still haven’t answered Gorou’s question,” Dottore interjects, sitting in the closest chair beside you. 

You continue to pull the contents out from the bag, setting them on the table and taking the cap off of some take-out boxes. You walked to the kitchen and pulled out the paper plates your parents were keeping in the pantry, thinking about how you were going to explain your failed relationship.

You sigh. “He’s not emotionally intelligent. We’ve gotten into arguments a few times before, and whenever I try to talk it out, he would avoid the topic,” you said.

“Oh, so, he lacks communication skills,” Diluc comments.

You nod.

“He also sounds like he doesn’t want to talk things out if he avoids the topic,” Dainsleif says, grabbing the paper plates from your hands.

You press your lips into a thin line and shake your head. “He always avoids certain things when we talk. Arguments are rare, but he ignores my text messages and phone calls when he gets mad at me.”

Scaramouche lets out a sarcastic laugh. “Well, your ex-boyfriend sounds like a piece of shit if you ask me,” Scaramouche rolls his eyes.

“And you’re correct because he is! I would beg to spend time with him, but he’ll tell me he was busy with work. According to him, work is keeping him occupied,” you roll your eyes, passing out napkins to the men.

“That’s an excuse, for sure,” Cyno mutters, peeking at the food on the table. 

You nod your head. “It was! I later found out that he had a wife the entire time, even though he claimed he was single,” you roll your eyes. 

Thoma looks at you in horror, almost dropping his plate of food on the ground. Thoma quickly composes himself and puts his plate on the table, steadying himself on the dining table while trying to process the information you have thrown out there.

“Your ex-boyfriend is a married man?” Thoma chokes.

“Unfortunately, yes, he’s a married man. I didn’t find out until four years later, by the way.”  You run your fingers through your hair.

Everyone’s eyes nearly pop out of their sockets. How well did this man hide this information from you? There’s no way someone like him can get away with cheating, especially since your world has social media that can connect strangers with one another. Surely his wife must’ve known about him having an affair, right? 

“Did you tell his wife about the affair?” Kaveh asks.

You shake your head. “There’s no way for me to find his wife’s name or her information. He lied about many things to me, yet I was stupid enough to believe his lies,” you chuckle bitterly.

“Don’t blame yourself for something you were unaware of. It is he who’s at fault, not you,” Kazuha reassures you, rubbing your back gently. 

When the rest of the food arrived, all of you ate in comfortable silence. You will talk to each other from time to time while eating, but the men are busy stuffing their faces with food. You don’t blame them for that because you weren’t sure how long you and the men have been in your world after falling asleep back at the abode. Speaking of the abode, you miss it very much. You miss being able to cook with Thoma and listening to Childe sing loudly in the shower because he doesn’t close the bathroom door. You miss living in Teyvat with your boyfriends.

You’re not entirely sure how long you and the men will be in your world, but you hope all of you can return back to Teyvat soon. Months have gone by in Teyvat, but only one or two days have passed in your world. After everyone finished eating, you made them shower in your bathroom while you cleaned things up. Before you let them shower in your bathroom, you show them how to operate some things.

“I like the scent of it,” Venti says, sniffing your body wash after opening the cap of the bottle. 

You clap your hand. “Now that I have shown you all where the things are and how to use some things in the bathroom, you can take turns showering. I can wash your clothes if you want,” you said.

“That would mean we will all be naked while we wait for our clothes to be washed and dried,” Itto clears his throat, looking at you with wide eyes.

You pucker your lips and nod. “That is correct, but it’s better to have your clothes washed and dried than sleeping in clothes that you have worn the day before,” you said. 

Plus, you don’t mind seeing the men parade around the house butt-naked… if your family didn’t have security cameras installed around the house. Then again, they will have towels on to preserve their modesty. It’s a good thing your family owns a lot of towels, so one of them would have to share towels with each other or use your towel.

Your entire day consists of you washing the men’s clothes and cleaning up your bedroom to ensure plenty of space for the men to roam around and relax. Your room isn’t huge, and it certainly cannot fit almost thirty people. The sleeping arrangement is going to be an absolute nightmare. 

Once all the clothes have been washed and dried, you hand the men back their clothes so they can change into them. You’re glad there are a couple of pillows and oversized blankets lying around the house. You might have to shop for more pillows and blankets when you have the time and money. But for now, it looks like you’ll have to sleep on someone while they sleep on your bed beside the other men. 

Your family tends to always be prepared for something. And when you said they’re always prepared, you’re implying they buy large packs of shampoo, soaps, towels, toothpaste, toilet paper, water bottles, and deodorants. The men didn’t need to worry about those things other than possible new clothes and places to sleep and being hidden from your parents. This should be fine for now. Your dad travels for work, your mom is always at work, and your siblings are always going out with their friends. It shouldn’t be hard to hide the men. Still, you hope your parents or siblings don’t walk into your room unannounced one day because you don’t have any excuses for why twenty-five men are in your bedroom. 

You and the men will be in your world for only a short time, right? Wrong. Because the next few days go by, and everyone is still in your world. Hiding the men is complicated because they would get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom to the point where your siblings ask you if you chug water before bed. You lie and say yes because you’re trying your best to stay hydrated. You’re glad your siblings didn’t question it and continue to ignore your constant need to pee.

Sleeping in one bedroom with almost thirty people is an experience. The number of people snoring, farting, twitching, and sleep talk is hilarious. You once woke up in the middle of the night because Itto flinched violently in his sleep. Itto will give you a sleepy smile, pet your head, sleepily apologize for waking you up and kiss your forehead before falling back asleep. 

You completely forgot that Zhongli, Venti, Xiao, and Scaramouche didn’t need sleep. Sometimes you would wake up in the middle of the night, catching them sitting in front of your computer while binge-watching some show with the brightness level at maximum. The light from your monitor illuminates your bedroom. 

“Why are you guys awake at two in the morning?” You whisper, lifting your head from Al Haitham’s chest.

“We’re watching a show. The shows from your universe are…. Interesting and quite educational,” Zhongli says, his eyes glued to the screen.

You blink at Zhongli and look at the monitor. They were watching a nature documentary on Netflix. It was cute, not going to lie. Seeing the four men sitting in front of your computer, watching nature documentaries, reminds you of your baby cousins watching Paw Patrol at eight in the morning. You’re too tired to scold them, so you lay your head back on Al Haitham’s chest and doze off. 

Do you want to know who farts the most in their sleep? It’s Childe, but most of them fart in their sleep. You would think it’s Itto who farts a lot in his sleep, but that man just snores and twitches. It has gotten to the point where you almost decide to steal a Febreze spray from your parents’ bathroom and keep it in your room. You opted to keep the windows cracked open to let the fresh air into your room. 

“That one,” Xiao points over to Childe, “passes gas the most out of all of us.” Xiao scrunches his face up with disgust.

Kaeya pats Itto’s shoulders. “This one twitches a lot. I may sleep on the ground, but I can hear him twitch in his sleep when it’s his turn to sleep on [Y/N]’s bed,” Kaeya says, looking over at Itto with an amused look on his face. 

“I wish you have a lab in your house. It would’ve sped the process of bringing us all back to Teyvat,” Albedo murmurs, resting his head on your shoulder.

Pierro chuckles. “I don’t think normal civilians like [Y/N] and their family would have a lab in their house,” Pierro says.

You pucker your lips. There are ordinary people that have labs in their homes. Only they’re not for science experiments…. They’re for…. Illegal activities. But that’s something you won’t be telling the men just yet, or at least until all of you have returned back to Teyvat. Actually, should you be telling them about that at all? You watch the men quietly bicker with each other, too tired to even stop them from arguing. You plop back down on your bed, feeling your eyelids grow heavy.

Realization hits Baizhu, and he weaves over to where you’re lying. Baizhu presses his hand on your forehead to check your temperature. You open your eyes and look at Baizhu with bleary eyes. You rub your eyes, attempting to rub the sleep away.

“I didn’t get to check up on your condition, but how are you feeling right now since the last check-up?” Baizhu asks.

You sit up and give him a sleepy smile. “I’ve been okay. There are no headaches or migraines. I feel fine,” you said.

You hear your mom calling your name from downstairs. You scramble out of your bed and quickly walk out of your room and down the stairs. After you leave your room in a hurry, the men look at each other quizzically and fall silent. They stand by the door and listen. When you get downstairs, you see your mom standing in the kitchen, her hands propped on her hips, holding something in her hand. You cautiously approach your mom, and she gives you a dissatisfied look.

“[Y/N]. Your university sent us an email regarding your grades this week and….” Your mom trails off.

You make a face, confused that your university would send home a mail regarding your grades in the university. You know you’re passing, or at least the last time you checked, you were doing okay. You weren’t behind on any assignments because you checked to make sure you didn’t have any work that was missing. Plus, the men made sure you checked on your grades periodically. 

“And?” You ask, waiting for her to finish her sentence.

Your mom hands you the paper, propping her hands on her hips. “You’re doing decent in school, but it’s not the best like your uncle’s daughter,” she says, “you’re doing fine in school, but she’s doing way better at her university.”

Ah. There it is. The comparison starts now.

You pinch the bridge of your nose and sigh. “Mom, what’s important is that I’m passing, right? I’m not flunking out of university. My highest GPA in the previous quarter was 3.9 GPA, and my GPA alone earns me a spot on the Dean’s List, mom. Isn’t that enough?” You ask.

She shakes her head, gnawing on the inside of her cheek. “3.9 GPA is good, but did you know your cousin has been getting a 4.0 GPA every quarter at her university? She’s also in the honors program, [Y/N]. You’re not in the honors program.”

“So what? My GPA is slightly below hers! Is she being in the honors program more important?” You ask.

Your face is starting to feel hot. It wasn’t from embarrassment. It was from anger and frustration. You returned to your world not long ago, and you’re already being compared to your perfect cousin who’s good at everything. You study hard in school for yourself, not for some imaginary competition where your parents pit you against your cousin. Your cousin doesn’t care about the dumb little competition; she does well in school, and you’re proud of her! She’s also proud of you for doing well in school. She would often reassure you that she doesn’t see you as an academic competition. 

Your mom snatches the letter out of your hands and slams it on the countertop. “Yes, it’s a big deal that your cousin is in the honors program! Because she’s in the honors program and has a 4.0 GPA, do you know how many scholarships she has earned from her achievements?!” Your mom exclaims.

You laugh bitterly. “Mom, you know she and I don’t see each other as competition, right? The only people that see it as a competition are you, dad, and her parents. It’s weird to pit your children against each other,” you said. “This is how you cause rifts in families. You’re pitting me against her, and her parents are pitting her against me. She’s happy that I’m doing well in school, and I’m glad that she’s doing well in school.”

Your mom rolls her eyes and gestures for you to leave her sight. Before you leave the kitchen, you grab a water bottle from the fridge and walk back upstairs to your room. Upon hearing you coming up the stairs, the men quickly scramble around the room, trying to act like they weren’t eavesdropping on your and your mom’s conversation the entire time. 

You grab the doorknob to your room and open the door, squeezing the water bottle before shutting the door behind you. Without saying a word, you open the water bottle and chug the water, trying to distract yourself from the previous conversation you had with your mother. 

Al Haitham approaches you cautiously while you continue to chug the water. “Are you alright, [Y/N]?” Al Haitham asks, placing a gentle hand on your shoulder.

You finish your water, crush the plastic bottle in your hand and toss it into the nearby trash can. “Yeah, I’m fine! It’s just another typical conversation with my mom,” you said humorlessly.

Pantalone bites his lips before asking, “How often do your parents pester you about your grades?” 

You snort. “When do my parents never pester me about anything?” You ask, plopping down on the edge of your bed. “Sorry if any of you hear my and my mom’s conversation. I guess the longer we’re here, the more you will see what I deal with almost every day.”

“Do you want us to get rid of the problem?” Capitano asks.

You blink at the masked (?) man, shaking your head slowly. You know what Capitano was implying, and as tempting as that sounds, you don’t want them to get in trouble because of you. Plus, getting rid of your parents, aunt, and uncle isn’t going to do anything. All it will do is cause issues that are bigger than it already is.

Dainsleif glares at Capitano. “You shouldn’t imply murdering your significant other’s parents, Harbinger,” Dainsleif hisses. 

“Oh, please. I wasn’t implying murder; I was simply implying that we should talk with [Y/N]’s parents about comparing them to their cousin. They’re creating a rift between them and [Y/N],” Capitano says, brushing Dainsleif’s response off.

Scaramouche raises his eyebrows at the Harbinger and crosses his arms over his chest. “You? Having a reasonable conversation with [Y/N]’s parents? That’s something out of the ordinary for someone like you,” Scaramouche says, smirking with amusement.

Childe laughs nervously, nudging Scaramouche in the ribs with his elbow. “What Scaramouche mean is that we shouldn’t get rid of the people in [Y/N]’s life. Especially when that person is [Y/N]’s family member,” Childe says, pressing his lips into a thin line afterward.

You lie on your bed and throw your blanket over your body. You don’t want the men to see what you have to deal with every day before being thrown into their universe. It’s humiliating. You don’t care if your siblings see your parents tell you you’re not good enough; they’ve witnessed it many times throughout your lives. You don’t want your boyfriends to see how your parents treat you because it’s embarrassing. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Aether asks, sitting beside you while caressing your face.

You give Aether a weak smile and shake your head. “I don’t want to talk about it right now, Aether. It’s embarrassing,” you murmur.

“Hey, just to let you know, we’re incredibly proud of you and your achievements. Please don’t compare yourself to anyone, ever,” Tighnari says, giving your bicep a comforting squeeze.

You give Tighnari a strained smile. “Thank you, Tighnari. I’ll try not to compare myself to other people. It’ll be hard because my parents do it to me almost every day,” you mutter.

“You’re more than enough. Don’t forget that, alright?” Thoma asks, giving you a sympathetic smile.

You cover your face with your hand. “Stop, you guys are going to make me cry,” you grumble, rolling over on your stomach and burying your face into your bed. 

Crying is the last thing you want to do. You appreciate the men comforting you and reassuring you that you’re more than enough. But seeing the amount of support you receive from the men you love is overwhelming in a good way. You love and appreciate them so much. They have always been there for you through your brightest and darkest days, providing you safety and solace. 

Diluc pushes through the men and lies beside you, pulling you into his arms and caressing your hair. You bury your face into Diluc’s neck, trying your best to hold back your tears. You want to go home. You don’t want to be in your world anymore. What’s the point of returning to a place where you’re constantly unhappy? 

Diluc presses his lips against your forehead. “You’ll be okay. We won’t let anyone hurt you,” Diluc whispers, wiping a stray tear that made its way down your cheek.

“I want to go home,” you whisper, gripping Diluc’s shirt tightly. “I don’t want to be here anymore. Why should I stay in a place where I’m always unhappy?” You murmur, clenching your teeth.

Albedo sighs and clenches his hands into fists. “We’ll figure something out. Trust me, we don’t want to stay in a place where we see you suffer either,” Albedo says.

“You’re doing well in your world. You’re on the Dean’s List with a 3.9 GPA, and we’re proud of you and your achievements here and back in Teyvat,” Al Haitham says, reaching down and stroking your hair.

You snort and roll over on your back, staring at the ceiling. You bite your lips, and tears continue to pool in your eyes, cascading down your face. “I may be doing well in school, but according to my parents, I’m not doing well if we compare it to my cousin’s GPA,” you whisper.

You wipe your tears away and sit on your bed. Before Al Haitham can sit beside you to comfort you, Kaveh shoves him to the side and takes the empty spot next to you. Kaveh pulls you onto his lap and hugs you tightly, ignoring the scowl Al Haitham shoots in his direction. Kaveh rests his chin on your head, swaying to the side.

“Your parents don’t deserve you. None of them do,” Kaveh whispers.

You bury your face into Kaveh’s neck. All you want to do is return to the abode and get away from the people that put you down. You never expect to return back to your world so suddenly. You assume a portal would open up, and you would get the option of whether you want to stay in Teyvat or return to your world. If you did have the opportunity, you would’ve chosen to remain in Teyvat forever. But alas, things are always unexpected and never go your way. 

The silence is broken when your phone chimes. You jump and twist your body to look at the now-illuminated screen of your phone. A package was delivered to your house just a few seconds ago, and the delivery man rang the doorbell to notify you and your family. You wipe the tears and get off Kaveh’s lap, rushing downstairs to grab the package before any of your neighbors decide to steal them like last time.

You stop in your tracks when you reach the last step of the stairs. Your dad closes the front door with packages in his hands. He looks at you and holds up the cardboard box. You press your lips into a thin line, watching him lock the front door.

Your dad sighs. “[Y/N], this is the eighth time you ordered something online. You need to learn how to save your money. Don’t buy stupid and useless things online,” your dad says sternly.

“Dad, I ordered these months ago. They finally arrived after a few months,” you explain.

Your dad shakes his head, pointing an accusing finger at you. “I don’t care if you ordered these things a few months ago. You need to stop wasting your money on stupid shit, or else you won’t have any money left,” he scolds you.

You didn’t respond. Your dad hands you your packages before dismissing you. You exhale through your nose and walk up the stairs. After arriving at your room, you slammed the doors behind you, tossed your package near the window nook, and plopped down on your bed. The men didn’t say anything, knowing that you didn’t want to talk about what happened downstairs. They all heard it. What’s there to explain?

You point at the packages near the window nook. “Those packages were actually late gifts for my parents and siblings. There was a production delay, and they pushed the shipping and delivery dates back by a few months. It finally arrived, only for my dad to tell me not to buy useless things and waste my money on stupid shit,” you whisper. 

You rest your head on Kaveh’s shoulders, letting him wrap his arms around you and press a gentle kiss on your head. You’re hoping this will be the last time you return to your world. If you return for the second time, you’ll make sure that it’s the last time you visit. You don’t want to stay in your world anymore. Your world isn’t home anymore. It doesn��t feel like home. Instead, it feels like an endless prison, an endless torture to your psyche. 

You no longer consider your world as your home. I mean, how can you call it home when you don’t feel welcome in it? Home is where you feel safe, accepted, and loved. Home is where you can live in peace without having to worry about being compared to someone you once grew up with. Home is with the twenty-five men in your bedroom, the same men who nursed you back to health and saved you from many near-death experiences, the ones that encourage you to do the things you love. 

“I’m never doing nice things for them ever again,” you whisper.

Cyno shakes his head. “Don’t. They don’t deserve you,” Cyno states.

Another few days go by, and you all fall into the routine of you hiding them and them sneaking in and out of your room when they need to stretch their legs. Because you and the men never left the house, there was no need for them to shower daily, and you had to wash and dry their clothes every day. You end up stealing some clothes from your brothers’ closet for the men to wear temporarily while their clothes and undergarments are being washed and dried.

Now, here you are, watching Netflix with the men lounging around you. Some are asleep on the floor, and at the window nook, while some are reading the books and mangas they took from your bookshelf. Your head was on Pantalone’s chest, and your legs tossed over Dottore’s lap when you heard a knock on your bedroom door. Everyone around you freezes while you grab your remote and pause the show on your TV.

“Who is it?” You call out, getting off your bed and looking at the men anxiously.

“[Y/N], Jacob is here to visit you. He said he wanted to talk to you,” your sister, Alice, says from behind the door.

Hearing the familiar name made your heart want to fall out of your ass. 

“Who’s Jacob?” Venti mouths to the men in the room.

Heizou looks at you closely and then at Venti. “I think Jacob is the name of [Y/N]’s ex-boyfriend. You know, the one that was married the entire time,” Heizou whispers to Venti.

“What’s he doing here?” Ayato mutters, shutting the book and putting it back on the shelf.

You clear your throat loudly. “Tell Jacob to fuck off. I don’t want to see him or hear whatever excuses he’s trying to come up with,” you said sternly.

Alice groans and smacks the door. “[Y/N], just do it! Brandon is waiting outside for me in his car! You and Jacob can have a screaming match once I leave, alright? Mom, dad, Andrew, and Alex aren’t home,” Alice says.

You poke the inside of your cheek, your hands prop on your hips as you listen to your sister walk down the stairs. You turn to the men, gesturing for them to give you a moment before walking out of your bedroom and closing the door behind you. There stood Jacob, standing near the entrance of your room. 

“What do you want?” You roll your eyes. “And make it quick because the quicker we get through this, the quicker you leave,” you said.

Jacob approaches you and stands before you, gazing at you sadly. “Babe, do you not miss me?” He asks.

You raise an eyebrow at him and laugh sarcastically. “Oh? You’re still calling me babe? Did you forget that I’m not your babe, Jacob? I never was your babe,” you spat, taking a step back.

Jacob ignores your comment and caresses your face. “I missed you during training, you know? Not being able to see you and visit you because of how far I was,” he murmurs.

You smack Jacob’s hands away from your face. “Don’t touch me. The only person you should be touching is your wife, not some random person you decided to cheat on your wife with,” you hiss.

“Babe,” Jacob pleads.

You shake your head stubbornly. “Leave, now! I don’t want to see your face ever again!” You demand, pointing toward the stairs.

Jacob grabs your wrist and pulls you toward him. You shove him away, accidentally shoving yourself against the door to your room. Before Jacob can say anything, the door to your room flies open, and you feel someone pressing their chest against your back.

“Who the fuck are you people?” Jacob demands, glaring at the group of men crowding at the door. 

“Who we are is none of your business,” Zhongli states, glaring at the man standing before you.

”You either leave [Y/N]’s house unscathed, or you leave [Y/N]’s house with a broken nose. Your choice,” Xiao says.

Jacob scoffs and crosses his arms over his chest. “Oh? Are you going to harm [Y/N]’s boyfriend now?” Jacob demands.

“Eh!? Boyfriend!? Last time we checked, [Y/N] dumped your pathetic ass a few months ago! Now, leave and never come back,” Itto says, glaring at the tan man in front of him. 

Capitano and Pierro step forward, blocking you from Jacob’s eyes. Jacob clenches his hands into fists before storming out of the house, with Capitano and Pierro following after him to make sure he actually leaves. You rub your temples and let Kaeya wrap his arms around you, rubbing your back. After what happened, the painful headache soon returned. You wrap your arms around Kaeya’s slim waist and bury your face into his chest, trying your best not to let it show.

“Let’s take your mind off that, shall we?” Kaeya murmurs, pulling you toward your bed and laying down with you on his chest.

“We might as well get some rest. That ex-boyfriend of yours is very draining,” Pierro says gruffly upon entering the room with Capitano beside him. 

Pantalone nods. “The one that is in need of sleep is [Y/N],” Pantalone says, gesturing over to where you and Kaeya lie.

Everyone is situated in their spots, getting ready to go to sleep. Even though it was only six in the afternoon, everyone continued to lie in their temporary beds in your room to get some rest. Your vision soon blurs, and you fall asleep in Kaeya’s arms. 

You’re rudely awoken from your sleep to the sound of an alarm blaring in your ears, making you jump out of your skin and scramble to shut the alarm while it’s still dark in your room. After turning the alarm off, you squint and rub your swollen eyes.

“I never knew you set the alarm to be that loud, [Y/N],” you hear Kazuha says groggily. 

You stretch your arms in the air and yawn. “How else was I supposed to get up for school?” You ask, getting up to open the curtains to your room.

When you pull the curtains open, you’re greeted by a familiar sight. Your eyes widen, and your head snaps in the men’s direction, who are scattered around your room, slowly coming to their consciousness. 

“Oh, finally! We’re back in Teyvat,” Gorou cries out happily, sprawled out on the ground before yawning into the palm of his hands.

Dottore stands up and looks over at Albedo, who looks discombobulated. “Yes, we’re back in Teyvat, but unfortunately, we don’t know how it happened,” Dottore sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose.

You collapse on your bed, letting Kaeya wrap his arms around you and pull you to his chest. “I’m glad we’re back home,” you murmur sleepily.

Home.

You and your twenty-five boyfriends are all finally home. Finally, in the comfort of your home in Teyvat, where no one can bother you, downgrade your achievements by comparing yourself to someone else’s accomplishments. You feel safe in the presence of the men around you. The men who will never compare you to other people, the men who cherish you, celebrate your achievement, and build you up. You’re finally home with the men who loves you, the men who deserve you. Your family did not deserve you, nor did your ex-boyfriend.

Home.

You’re finally home.

Note: Next week is going to be another request! I'm trying to get through requests while dealing with university stuff 💀 I notice that some of the things in my inbox are disappearing as well 🧍🏻‍♀️ I might open the inbox again, but I'm not entirely sure when I'll be able to do that. Maybe around March or late March? Who knows. My fics on AO3 are also only visible to those who are registered users on AO3, but I'm hoping to make them visible to everyone else very soon. Maybe once my winter quarter ends, or something. Or when it's close to ending. I'm closing my taglist very soon! I'm about to reach tagging limits on Tumblr, so, if you want to be on the taglist, the Google form is right [here]. Please make sure that you allow people to mention you/tag you in posts, or else I won't be able to tag you in any future fanfics! As usual, I ONLY post on my Tumblr (Genshinluvr) and my AO3 (Aaliah_exo)! Nowhere else except Tumblr and AO3!

Taglist for my Isekai'd!Reader one-shot series and my overall taglist: @chirikoheina, @yoru-trash, @kaoyamamegami, @kwelibeeery, @deartoru, @luminarymoonlight, @toobytub, @ins4nebish, @bokuto-kinnie, @honeybedo, @exhaustedcommunist, @jadedist, @mompt2, @chalksdreams, @thelost-in-time, @ventisweetheart, @hispasian-otaku, @juuuuuj101010, @alteeeeyang, @samarill, @irisxiel, @kazuhaprnt, @lunarapple, @urlocalhothuman, @emilymikado, @vinnie-w, @n8mareee, @bajifairyy, @heyimkay, @milkpeanuts476, @eliciana, @blesstosuisen, @goldeneclipsedragon, @jjvr4yxc, @sovermike-21-blog, @vox34, @wynncrites, @skyyyyackerman, @undecidingfate, @nightlysunn, @faeryminnyx (Accounts that I was unable to tag have been removed. Those who don't want to be tagged in certain stories are not tagged in this particular post. Remember to check your settings if you're allowing people to mention you/tag you in posts or not)

Read more of my works on my Masterlist | Maybe support me by tipping me on Ko-Fi or by reblogging my fanfics! ^^ I will also be posting exclusive fanfics on Ko-Fi as well very soon! I might post all of my stories on there too, but who knows. You can also tip me on Tumblr if you'd like as a way to show support! ^^

[keresnotceres]

You, With the Watercolor Eyes

Ghost x Civilian!Reader (gn / undescribed)

[sfw] cw(s): heavy angst, mentions of ghost’s backstory, mentioned/implied self harm, disordered eating (aka ghost’s really bad habits).

1.3k words. not proofread. wrote this in, like, an hour.

While on deployment, Ghost has a recurring nightmare -- you’ve fallen out of love with him. The thought pervaded him for weeks, it wrecks him to a point his teammate notices a change in his demeanor, and he’s fallen into his old habits.

When he first woke up, he didn’t recognize the room he was in. Simon tensed under the thin sheet on top of him, hands twitching at his sides as if reaching for his pistol. Finally, he took into account the jacket hanging on the far end of his bedpost.

He remembered that he is Ghost. Simon does not exist here. And yet, Ghost felt his chest tighten as he recalled the dream that plagued him prior.

It was of you, his charming lover, untouched by the terrors of war and bloodshed. But not just your regular self, you were distant, callous. Something had caused you to change, something he didn’t know, something you wouldn’t tell him. He remembered trying to ask you what was wrong, and you only ignored him. It reminded him, briefly, of his father.

It wasn’t until a man with a blurry, unrecognizable face stepped into the room. If he squinted, Ghost could make out a gunshot wound in the middle of his forehead. When you made your way to the man, you fell into his arms, pressed up against him like he was a lifeboat and you were drowning.

“I don’t want you anymore.”

It was your voice, the voice that whispered “I love you“ in the night. The voice that muttered and screamed his name.

“I don’t love you.” Maybe it had been, “I never loved you;” Ghost couldn’t quite recall. Either way, they conveyed the same message: you weren’t in love with him anymore. You were leaving him for another man, one who could be with you, one who could say just how much he loved you all the time.

He couldn’t utter a word to you as you faded from his view, leaving him alone in an imitation of the living room in your home.

The next several days, Ghost felt more removed from himself than usual. The thought of you, the person he would rip the world apart for, the person who gave him something to live for, leaving him stayed with him. It haunted him.

Memories of his childhood surfaced, the thought of your relationship breaking down into what his parents had ripped into his head. When he was alone, Ghost would toss his gloves to the side just to feel his fingernails dig into his palms to try and feel a different pain. Soon enough, it evolved to drawing blood.

Ghost found himself skipping over meals to busy himself with other tasks, the hunger pains providing him with some sort of distraction from the gnawing hurt that the thought of not having you brought. Deep down, he knew that if you knew what he was doing to himself, you would plea him to stop. But the nightmare kept coming back, and so did the need to feel a different pain, and Ghost couldn’t stop.

Weeks later, the nightmares finally let him be. But the thought of you leaving clung to him like a wet shirt.

Ghost’s eyes glazed over the crowd of recruits in front of him, lingering on a few of the most competent-looking ones before he dismissed them. He watched inanimately as they dispersed, several clumping together to form a smaller, condensed group of friends. Others left on their own, likely to go find their own friends.

Ghost found that the others found him, more often then not it was Soap who came barging into his office to talk idly. It hadn’t happened in a few days, Ghost had taken advantage of not having a distraction to bury himself in paperwork, pushing away all the thoughts of you that clouded his mind.

He left the training area of the outside, making his way to his office. It had become some sort of hellish safe-haven. Ghost could slip away for a few minutes and Simon could claw his way forward.

There were very few times he thought of you normally, without the splotchy pain that came from his nightmares. Ghost found a difficult peace in the thoughts of you untainted by his unconscious, he’d caught himself reaching out to nothing as if you were there with him. It was then that the marred version of your relationship returned to him, you weren’t there because you left. You didn’t love him any more; how could you love a man like him?

While he thudded through the hallways, Ghost was unaware of an uncharacteristically silent Soap by his side. It wasn’t until he swung open his office door several minutes later and was stopped from slamming it shut by Soap grabbing it.

Soap frowned at him, stepping forward to push Ghost into his office without touching him at all. Ghost stepped back, disgust tearing at his throat at the thought of physical contact.

The two stood at a standstill, eyes locked, until Ghost was irked enough by the presence of something other than his own thoughts to turn on his heel and stalk over to his desk. He looked back at Soap, the action a silent question of ‘what the hell do you want.’

Soap frowned deeper and shut the door behind him. he crossed his arms over his chest and rocked forward a bit, stopping when he came to decision. “You’re actin’ wrong.”

Ghost’s eyes bored into Soap’s, unfeeling. “Pardon?”

Soap’s eyebrows set, his gaze hard. “Don’t act dumb. Actin’ more heartless than usual.”

Ghost set a hand on the desk, leaning his weight on it. “Don’t know what you’re talking about, Sergeant.” His eyes strayed to the papers that littered the desk, organization thrown to the wind.

“Bullshit.” Ghost’s eyes flicked to Soap, a tide of irritation crashing in them. “Tell me.” Soap took a step closer, a look of determination clashing with Ghost’s displeasure.

“Got nothing to tell you.”

“You have quite a lot to tell me, Lt.” Soap stepped closer again, his hands thrown to his sides, one balling into a fist.

“Johnny,” Ghost started, an obvious anger in his voice. “Lay off it”“ Soap glared at Ghost, and with all the exasperation and concern he could mange through a fit of anger, he retaliated.

“Simon,” the same vigor Ghost has used present in his voice. “What the fuck happened to you?” The way Soap spat out the words make it seem more like a statement; Ghost almost saw his father in front of him.

Ghost looked at him, defeated, tired. “Nightmares.” Soap looked utterly unconvinced and Ghost could do nothing but cede to the look on Soap's face. Ghost choked back the urge to conceal his personal life, internally clawing at his chest to stop talking. “My partner.”

It took two words for Soap's demeanor to change entirely. In the next moment, he's suddenly John MacTavish, the military personality is thrown to the side. Ghost considers doing the same, if only for a few seconds of comfort.

“I'm sorry, Lt.” Ghost half expected Soap to say something else, to call him an idiot. “Was it bad? Did they...” Soap trailed off, not wanting to say what they both know he was thinking.

Ghost shook his head, “no. Left for someone else, left nothing behind.” Soap grimaced, his hand raised up slightly, but fell down.

“It wasn't real.” Soap offered his best solace, and it made Ghost scoff a laugh out.

“Sure felt like it.”

“They love you,” Soap's voice was oddly serious, “I know it.” Ghost peered up at Soap, searching his face for a hint of falsity. “You could call, check in. Sure they'd love to hear from you.”

Ghost's mouth twitched, not that Soap could see.

“I'll do it, even.” He offered, a twist of compassion seeped through his words. “But I'll talk about how you've been skipping meals. How you stay long past clock to do paperwork.”

“You will not,’ Ghost sounded almost like his normal self, and Soap smiled at him a bit wickedly.

“Then you better call before I do.”

[alicerosejensen]

Mistake

Warning: death of the reader; indirect mention of Leon's infidelity.

This is a re-posting since my account was blocked on the same day I posted this.

It was a mistake to let you go alone. It was a mistake to believe that a stupid trip would end well and you would return to his house unharmed. And that was his mistake.

Leon holds you in his arms and the noble ladies from the old portraits look disapprovingly at the one he dared to save. You can feel his firm grip on your hip and under your armpit as he carries you to the evacuation site with a pale, cold-blooded face down which tears are flowing. What should he feel besides the searing pain in his chest from just your bloody appearance? Through the veil you hear his strangled wheeze and quiet orders not to dare to die. His fingers dig deeper into your once tender skin when you feel the cool breeze blowing under your dirty white shirt, the only thing left for you besides underwear. The hair was tangled because of blood and dirt, but for Leon it was all so unimportant. He kept carrying you to save you, promising himself that you wouldn't die.

Not having the strength to scream, you would like to regret your last stupid quarrel because of which you left him because of the influx of stupid jealousy. But you just didn't have the strength to go back to your sad life anymore. Leon's jacket still warmed your body, but the stopped heart suggested that you left this world plunging into a dark space, black as the night itself, thickened in the sky where there is no longer any heat, heat, pain or abyss.

It's a nice strange feeling when death enchants you.

And now you are like a fallen petal of a rare flower, floating between the seasons. If either of you understood each other well, you and Leon would never have parted. But when Leon, after a few shouts of your name, squeezes you in his arms, he realizes that you have gone limp… his heart stops.

You left him alone. Sad and lonely.

"Don't you dare die!" Leon is screaming out of breath, trying to get your heart to beat again. As if, having heard him somewhere from the outside, you felt such pity for him. He put so much effort into finding and saving you. All the last few months of imprisonment were like a requiem before a fateful finale without a happy ending. Leon hugs you to his chest, trying to share his warmth; kisses your thin wrists and dirty face to return to your embrace and kind love. This feeling of hopelessness in his chest was never like what he experienced when Simmons attacked Ada.

He realized that he had lost you.

"Sweetheart" Leon tucked his blood-soaked hair behind his ear. Your hand is in his. Sticky and cold where the wrist does not feel the pulse. "forgive me..."

It was your ticket to hell. With all these terrifying bloody rides for a stupid girl who knows how to hold a gun, just because at the beginning of the relationship Leon took the liberty of taking you to the shooting range. No physical or psychological training. Even if you hadn't died, your brain would have turned into a recurring nightmare for the rest of your life. Fortunately, like any attraction, everything tends to end, and the road to hell led you to the gates of paradise with a white ocean, cool water and complete silence where a small flimsy boat was ready to take you to the other shore.

To your personal paradise. In which there are no mutated monsters, no blood, no pain from wounds, no deaths, no Leon Scott Kennedy, who previously broke your heart.

You've seen enough to make the desire to live leave you, but Leon kept trying to make your heart beat with useless indirect heart massage. You went to the deep bottom, as if she had never been with him and did not love him. Leon's tears are dripping on your cheeks, laying clean paths, washing away dirt and blood from you. The human brain lives for about five minutes after death and your precious seconds are almost running out. This man tore you into a thousand pieces and now he's holding you to him, but it should have been done before. The eternal scarlet sunset would never have caught up with you if the day before your trip and on the day of the quarrel Leon grabbed you in his arms, chaining you to him with hot hugs without letting you go anywhere.

This horror could have been prevented.

But when you were thrown like a mangy puppy, he cherished his love for Ada Wong. No one knows what happens in those last moments when the soul leaves the body, but that very last second of your life without hearing or seeing him, you wanted him to be as hurt as you were when you found out the truth.

One single second before your feet dipped into the water and you got into the boat, and your wish was fulfilled…

You died in the middle of the night, despite the fact that you loved him very much anyway. Every creature has a mate but you don't have anything else. Let anyone but you be Leon's mate from now on. Before that ill-fated quarrel, you could even die for him, only Leon would quickly move away from your unnecessary sacrifice.

How monsters surrounded you from all sides and the light of your soul was extinguished forever. Then why did you continue to love his light half-smile and the expensive suit in which you first met him until the end? It is always cold outside, but inside of which sabantuy is raging. Leon is a man who often contradicted himself and you're just unlucky that he didn't dare to push you away.

There was no point in saving you anymore, but Leon continued to carry your body, pressing it closer to him, as if you were just unconscious and his legs were failing him, as if you were an unbearable burden, although before he always carried you lightly in his arms. He won't have a chance at redemption and he'll always live with the guilt of your death. But if you were alive, Leon thinks that you would be sarcastic to him right now, like Ada would be able to comfort him. And Leon is angry even though he knows it's stupid. You're silent in his arms.

He doesn't care how dirty you are. He kisses your face, squeezing your wrists tightly and for some reason trying to warm you up. His lips will imprint a kiss between eyes, temples, cheeks and lips themselves, leaving him a salty taste of blood. Leon catches you comfortably so that his jacket does not fly off you. your face is pressed against his shoulder, but he's not looking anymore. He thinks that maybe there will be a first aid kit in the helicopter from which there will be no sense. And even when they're taken away, Leon doesn't give you to anyone. He strokes your hair, begging the medic in his team to do something, but she looks at him with an indifferent look and then at the gaping wound on your chest and is silent, realizing that their captain has in fact already brought a corpse.

But in the end, you still end up in a corpse bag where they put you right away, taking you out of Leon's hands. No matter how he tried to take you back, he was not allowed. You didn't have time to see the sunlight and Leon feels like he let you down. Did not save. Shouted at the doctors, shouted at those who without regret stuffed you into this black cloth with a lock hiding from him like those scoundrels who ruined you. And then when everyone cooled down, he was simply confronted with the fact.

If dead, then the body belongs to forced sterilization.

But Leon won't even get your ashes... as if you kept torturing him while he drowned his pain in a bottle, breaking all the glasses. He kept your chiffon scarf close to him on purpose so he could smell you. His weakness... he just wanted you around again.

And all because of one damn mistake he made.

[sinkovia]

One more mission: II

Price x GN!Reader

Angst.

The room was bathed in gentle morning light as the sun peeked through the blinds of the window. You lay nestled next to John, wrapped in his warm embrace, a content smile gracing your lips as you gazed up at him. He returned your loving look with an affectionate one of his own, his eyes filled with adoration.

With a gentle touch, John brushed his hand gently over your cheek, and you couldn't help but smile, snuggling closer against his bare chest. In this intimate moment, your thoughts turned to the future you longed for.

"I can't wait until we have our own little house together," you murmured, a dreamy smile dancing on your lips as you met his gaze. His smile deepened at your words.

"A small house, huh?" he replied, his voice warm and inviting. You pondered for a moment, your brows furrowing in thought.

You considered his question for a moment before nodding. "Yeah, a cute little house surrounded by lots of trees and flowers. Somewhere cold and cloudy." His fingers were tracing small, comforting circles on your back.

John’s heart swelled with love for you, and he couldn't help but admire your vision. "Somewhere cold, like Alaska? Or Greenland?" You furrowed your brows, contemplating the options, and he couldn't resist a chuckle.

"Greenland would be nice, but we would have to learn the language," you noted.

"We could learn the language, love" he assured, his thumb caressing your cheek. "I suppose that means we'll have a winter wedding."

Your smile lit up the room, and you nodded in agreement. "I think our kids will like the snow," you envisioned what it would be like to have a childhood in a wintery wonderland.

"I'm sure they will love it. Building snowmen, making snow angels, and coming inside to drink tea." he mused, his heart swelling at the prospect of starting a family with you.

"Tea sounds bloody nice right now."

Your laughter filled the room, and you ran your hand through his hair, an affectionate gesture that tugged at John's heartstrings. Your thoughts turned to the inevitable question, the dream you held onto dearly.

"When do you think we can retire?" you were searching for answers in his eyes. He contemplated it for a moment, his gaze locked onto yours.

"Soon, love" his eyes soft with the promise of a shared future. You smiled against his lips before drawing him into a tender kiss. His hand gently found its way back to your cheek as he deepened the kiss. You wrapped your arms around his neck, the two of you lost in the sweet reverie of your dreams, your love, and the life you hoped to share together.

He sighed as his lips pressed against yours. Your presence was comforting and soothing, and for a moment, the weight of the world seemed to lift. But just as suddenly, he jolted awake, his eyes flew open, and he found himself covered in sweat, the room shrouded in darkness. Panic gripped him as he sat up, searching frantically for you, his heart pounding in his chest.

His eyes darted around the room, but you were nowhere to be found. His trembling hand found the nightstand light switch, and with the soft glow illuminating the room, he realized that he was alone. And then, it hit him. It was another dream, a painful reminder of what could have been if he had been more vigilant, if he had been better to you.

His mind wandered back to the recurring dream, a time when you were still alive, the memory of when you first asked him about retiring.

He remembered the words he had spoken to you, a promise that had never come true – "soon." The weight of his lie hung heavy in the air as he recalled that moment. If only he had meant it, if only he had retired as you wished.

His mind flashed back to that fateful day, a year ago when he had finally agreed to retire, after years of you pleading with him. He had told you that it would be the last mission, but he hadn't noticed the sniper in the distance, and you had pushed him out of the way, taking the fatal bullet through the neck.

He could only blame himself for not listening to you, for not retiring sooner. If he had only agreed earlier, you would still be here. A year had passed since your death, but John's grief and regret hadn't lessened. He would forever be plagued by dreams of what could have been, the haunting reminders of his failure to cherish you.

Writing a part 2 was so unnecessary but I just wanted more angst 👹

[s-4pphics]

scent of the pine. 7 (e.w)

hi c:

wc;cw 15.4k, sistersbestfriend!ellie, guitarist/producer!ellie, violinist!oc, age gap(three years), all ocs r black coded <3, angst, brief mentions of therapy and depression, FLUFF :D, underage drinking, weed, three smut scenes omfg MDNI!!!, fingering, eating out no buffalo wild wings, strapons, vibrators, scratching, choking, some pain kink lol, some switch!ellie i’m barking, dubcon(they r drunk), nipple play, exhibitionism😳, more music references hi 21, lots of descriptions of sex bc they’re horny n in love, this is pretty cute tbh

THEME FOR THE PART GET INTO ITTTTTT

Ellie heard your sister before she’d seen her. 

She was mindlessly talking to Elijah about the small, recurring glitch she kept hearing in her mix when she heard her boisterous laugh. She stiffened like she heard the whisper of a ghost, Isaiah’s goofy personality pulling giggles out of her mouth as the bar door closed behind them. 

The second their eyes met, Ellie saw your sister’s pupils get overshadowed by shock, then sorrow, then anger. A nasty, uncontrollable anger that she could only watch fester within her. 

Everything happened so fast: Ellie couldn’t hear any of your sister, Isaiah, or Elijah’s shouts over the pounding in her head, until your sister rushed her like she owed her a sum. Ellie immediately went into defense mode at your sister’s bucks; She did not want to fucking fight her, that’s the last thing she wanted, but if that’s what she wanted, so be it. 

Of course, Jesse and Dina were about to let them scrap by any means, so they trapped Ellie behind their bodies while Isaiah held your sibling back, speaking into her ear to calm her… was your sister the girl he always talked about? Was Isaiah the guy you claimed she was seeing? What the fuck! 

Your sister was screaming obscenities at her, but she couldn’t give a fuck— all she could think about was you. Where the fuck did Anthony take you? Were you okay? Fuck, she hoped you weren’t seeing this—

The fuck are you doing here? 

Ellie couldn’t explain the pain that exploded in her chest when she saw you standing near the bar's main hallway: you looked so hurt, so scared of what your sister was going to do until Dina calmed her down enough so she could leave without hassle.

Ellie didn’t want you to talk to your sister by herself, and even though she knew that being within ten feet of your sibling would get her touched, she wanted to make sure you were monitored properly. It took Jesse's strong grip on her arm to stop her from following you out into the rain. 

“Ellie, let her fucking handle it! This isn’t your fight, what the fuck!” 

She didn’t fucking care! She didn’t, she didn’t! You needed her there with you! She thrashed in his grip, gritted out protests, she was this close to biting his fucking arm off! —

“Ellie… Ellie, look at me!” 

Her resistance stilled at the soft hands on her burning cheeks, her hoarse breaths hitting Dina’s face as she looked at her with concerned eyes. She spoke before she could stop herself.  

“Tell him to get off me,” she felt her teeth grinding together in her mouth. 

Dina’s calm voice cut through the roaring sound in her ears. “I’m not telling him that. Please, tell me what��s going on? She's not going to fight her baby sister.” 

Her fists clenched tight. “I fucking know that! You know how fucking overwhelmed she gets, why the fuck did you let her go out there by herself to begin with?!” 

Dina’s hands dropped from her face in agitation. “She said she could handle it, so let her! She’s not a fucking baby anymore, why don’t you trust that she can hold her own?!” 

Ellie didn’t reply as she looked into Dina’s expecting gaze. She took a deep breath and exhaled through her nose as she felt the tension in her shoulders dissipate, making Jesse let up his grip on her. 

She let out another heavy exhale before she spoke shakily, “It’s… It’s not that I don’t trust her. I don’t want her dealing with shit that she can’t handle by herself. That’s fucking it.” 

“How do you know she can’t handle it!” 

Ellie didn’t have an answer for her: she knew that she trusted your judgment without any doubts, but she promised herself that she would always show up for you regardless of if you could handle it on your own or not. She already abandoned you once, and she promised you that she’s never going to let it happen again. She slowly turned her gaze to Isaiah, meeting his frantic eyes. 

“Why the fuck did you bring her here!” 

“Don’t fucking get mad at me! I didn’t think it would be a fucking problem, I don’t even know what’s going on!” 

She let out an exasperated sigh as she shook her head. She knew Isaiah wasn’t at fault for this blow up, —how could he have known that they had beef! — but she was still pissed, “I’ll… I’ll tell you everything later, alright?” 

She brushed past her friends and towards the exit, ignoring their calls of her name. The second she pushed the door open, her ears were instantly filled with your choked wails coming from the parking lot of the bar, and she bolted towards the sound of your cries before she could think. 

She could see you grabbing at your chest like you were trying to tear your own heart out as you attempted to catch your breath, trails of tears rolling down your cheeks as you sobbed. She reached for you and tried to calm you down, tried to get you to breathe with her, but you weren’t listening, shaking your head at her, and desperately grasping at her arms. 

Dina and Jesse had followed her to help lead you back inside, wrapping their arms around your trembling frame to guide you towards the entrance. 

They sat you down in the chair you’d been sitting in the whole night as Ellie tried to talk you down. She watched you wail like you were in excruciating pain, and tears jerked in her own eyes. She could only whisper comfort to you as she pulled her close. 

You just cried, and all she could do was hold you. 

Your sister was absolutely distraught after that night at the bar. 

She raced home, jerkily parking her car as she sobbed all the way up the stairs of her apartment building. She couldn’t stop fucking crying. Her phone had been ringing off the hook the entire drive, calls from Isaiah, Dina, and Jesse bleating in her tossed purse. She didn’t care, she didn’t give a fuck about any of them. Fuck them, fuck you! 

How could you do this to her?! She’d sacrificed everything she knew, everyone she loved so that you could be comfortable! She never failed to place your security above all else in every situation, and you turn around and do this? Fraternize with the fucking enemy?! 

… She needed to smoke so fucking badly. 

She cut her pacing around the living room short as she stomped towards her purse. She dug around for her phone to turn it off, but she saw the all too familiar baby fawtha🧑🏾‍🦱👅🥰 across her screen. 

Why the fuck did Isaiah even bring her there in the first place? 

She remembered how excited he looked the entire drive over to the bar: rambled about how excited he was to see the owner again, boasted about his mix, about how talented and cool his ‘good friend’ is, how badly he wanted your sister to meet her. 

Y’all would get along so well. You’re just fucking alike, swear to god! Crazy asses. 

Your sister declined the call before turning her phone off, fresh tears searing in her eyes as she tossed her belongings on the floor and kicked her shoes off. She couldn’t ignore the emptiness in her soul, a vacant space that hadn’t closed in hopes that the girl that used to fill it would ease back into her life someday. But she was too prideful, too bull-headed. 

She’d convinced herself to never admit it, but she was still mourning the loss of her best friend years later. Her fucking family. 

Your sister tried to ignore the painful pang in her chest when she recalled her ex-friend's shocked face when she walked in, but she couldn’t. 

She just cried. 

TWO MONTHS LATER

Before you and Arya returned to campus, Ellie watched you like a hawk. She made sure you were eating, cleaned, and comforted. She even offered you and your best friend a ride all the way back to campus, but you politely declined, saying that you needed time to think on your own. She understood completely and held you all the way up until you called Arya to come pick you up. She surrounded you with affection and care, and you didn’t want to leave her embrace. You’ll never forget how close she held you, taking in your scent and you, hers. You heard her release the gentlest I love you into your shoulder, and tears gathered in your eyes when you held her closer. 

She made sure to reach out to you multiple times a week, asking how you were doing, if you needed anything. She even made you smile with her jokes on occasion, you wished she was here with you. 

Arya has been so sweet as always, making sure to console you whenever she has free time (it’s her last semester! you’re so proud of her), and while you were so thankful for her patience and attentiveness, you desired some time for yourself. You’ve been managing for a couple of weeks now; You were still heartbroken, but you would survive. 

You threw yourself into composing the second you returned to campus. You practiced and practiced until the tips of your fingers were scabbed and numb, symphonies ringing in your head before you passed out in your bed every night. Tchaikovsky would be impressed by the darkness that surrounded you.

You haven’t seen or spoken to your sister since she cursed you out and left you in the middle of the wet parking lot. She hasn't returned your bouts of apologetic text messages or phone calls, has been inactive on all her social media, and you only hear about her life through your mother’s joyous rambles on the phone. You were almost scared to return home for the summer in a couple weeks; Would your unsuspecting mother be curious as to why your sister hadn’t stopped by the house to see you? You hoped she didn’t have any of her random family dinners planned for the next three months, you wouldn’t be able to bear seeing your sister's disgusted face whenever she looked at you. 

You missed her terribly, and you hoped she could forgive you someday. 

You locked yourself in your campus’s small rehearsal room, the tiny space littered in eggshell paint and stocked with one classical piano and microphone. 

Your peers barely came in here due to its nearly constricting size, but you loved how closed off it was. It became your little escape destination since you found it a month ago, and the four opaque walls brought you a strange sense of comfort. 

You were tuning your violin, preparing to mimic Stravinsky on The Rite of Spring as you listened to students pass through the hallway on the other side of the door. 

You propped your woodwind onto your shoulder and immediately played the screechy opening notes of Ritual of Abduction, the shrilling, nearly erratic melody filling the room. Thank god for soundproof walls! 

The world around you slowly disappeared as you were launched into your tiny universe, the one that you dominated. The shrieking swallowed you whole, took over your body, made you feel invincible! How could someone make the lightness of Springtime sound so disastrous! 

It was aggressive, it was loud, and you could feel the power rushing through you. Music was everything to you, it was yours, you would never let it go!

You weren’t even following the notes of the sheet paper you memorized anymore, playing completely from instinct as your eyes closed. You couldn’t even tell if it sounded terrible or not, but you didn’t care. You just played and played until your fingers burned. Played with anger and sadness and love. Played for your mother, your best friends, Ellie, your sister. Your sister, you missed her so much! —

You nearly jumped into the air at your professor's voice, the wails of your woodwind coming to a halt. You spun and was met with his curious expression, “Hey, sorry, I came to get another pair of headphones, I would’ve knocked if I knew someone was in here! “

You dropped your instrument from your shoulder, “No! No, no, it’s fine, I was just leaving, actual— “

“Sorry, I didn’t know you played violin, that’s dope!”

“Uh, yeah, I… uh, I’ve played for a while,” you couldn’t ignore the heat that took over your face at the compliment. Even though you’ve grown accustomed to reading them online, you were always stunned when you received them from the people around you. 

“Damn. So, d’you compose, too, or?” 

“… Sometimes, yeah. I-I just started.” 

“That’s crazy! How come you never participate in the events we have, man?”

Your eyes darted to the wall before returning to his. “Uh… M’too scared to,” you said bluntly.

You expected him to laugh at your pitiful admission, but his brows furrowed in concern as he gently shut the door behind him. “Okay… do you mind if I sit for a second?” 

“… Sure,” you gave in and set your violin down on the piano as you shrugged, grabbing two folded chairs that were up against the wall. 

You handed him one before you moved to the empty side of the room, “So, talk to me! What’s been going on with you? I’ve been a little concerned these last couple of weeks, not gonna lie.” 

You sighed heavily, “Just… just family stuff, y’know.” 

“I feel you. What you were playing was kinda… y’know…” 

You huffed out a laugh. “Depressing?” 

“I didn’t say it!” He said jokingly. You smiled softly. 

“But honestly,” his tone got more serious. “There’s nothing to be afraid of, especially here. Everyone’s trying to improve so they can be their best selves. Whether it’s live music or not. That’s literally the whole point!” 

You nodded, but stayed quiet, listening intently, “I know it can be really scary, trust me, everyone that works here has been in your position! But nothing feels better than watching people appreciate and enjoy your creation. It’s… it’s unexplainable. I would hate for you to leave this experience without feeling that at least once.” 

You digested his advice. Next semester would be your last, and you couldn’t help but feel a bit remorseful. You’ve gone an entire two years—fuck, two decades—ducking from opportunities that people gave you to play for them, and it has done nothing but keep you in a hole of self-loathing and doubt. The disappointment was starting to set in: you were in the exact same place you were when you were a kid. Have you really stunted your own growth this terribly? 

“Y’knooow, we still have our little Fall festival next term. Nothing scary, it’s like a high school talent show with some seasoning. Lawry’s!” He suggested goofily.

You couldn’t help the laugh that escaped you. You nodded as you looked at him, “I’ll think about it— “

“No more of that! You’re going, and you’re performing! Say it, c’mon!” He brought his hand up to his ear that was pointed towards you. 

You tsked with a smile, “C’mon, dude.” 

“We’re not leaving till I hear it! I’ll nail that door shut!” 

“… M’going and performing,” you mumbled. 

“Sorry, I thought I heard something! What was that!”

“I'm going and performing!” 

“Going and performing where!” 

“The Fall festival!” 

He nodded in satisfaction as he stood from his seat, “I’m holding you to that! If you don’t go, you’re not getting your degree!” 

He walked towards the door before turning to you, speaking in a hushed tone, “Oh! Tell your roommate to check her gahtdamn e-mail!” 

You laughed harder, “I will!” 

“See ya, man. Don’t waste this.”  

You waved as he gently shut the door behind him, leaving you in your thoughts. 

You looked over to your violin on the piano as you sighed. 

Its brow was raised at you, awaiting your decision. 

Your thoughts raced. 

The semester came to a close, and you and Arya were on your way home. 

She’s been so excited the entire train ride: jabbering about her future in writing and producing, how she’s about to become world renowned in the industry, how she’s going to die a musical legend! You were so excited for her; you couldn’t wait to follow wherever her creativity led her. 

The closer you got to your hometown, the more nervous you felt. 

What the hell was going to happen when you walked into your home? Your mother sounded so excited to see you on the phone before you departed, but she hadn’t mentioned anything about your sister. 

Your thoughts were cut when your phone dinged on the small table in front of you, Ellie’s contact popping up. Your mood brightened a bit. 

hiiiii :3 cant wait 2 see u miss u so fucking bad 

A small grin grew in your face. You carefully unlocked your phone, mindful of your sleeping friend's head laid on your shoulder. 

miss u too :(((( 

u home yet? 

no we still got 2 hours to go!! moms coming w dessert u know how she is

🥺🥺save me some? 

LOOOOOOOL u hate bread pudding 

not hers! >:) she shouldve dropped that cook book eons ago 

TEAAAA 

omg when am i gonna see u :(

still in cali baby :((( 

u free on 4th of july weekend? fuck america but u know

yeyeyeye

LOOL idk if you’d b willing to fly out but we’re turning up!! sai n all our friends r having this little beach party but we’re making a weekend out of it everyone’s going :p come w us🥺

dee n jesse r coming too!!!! 

we don’t have 2 go if u don’t wanna but i think it’d be fun :p

Your thumbs hovered over the small keyboard at the mention of Isaiah. You wondered what he thought about all that’s happened; Him and your sister seemed to be so happy whenever you saw them together. Were they still together? Were they even official to begin with? You hardly knew anything about their bond, and it saddened you. You missed your sister. 

But you also recognized how these episodes took over your entire being. You hated how your downward spirals left you feeling worthless. 

Before the semester ended, you reached out to your therapist and told her about what happened over Spring Break. It’d been a while since you spoke to her, but that particular meeting was one of the most vulnerable ones you’ve had in a long time. Instead of placing emphasis on the devastation you felt like you usually would’ve, you asked for some of the first steps of becoming… better. As a person, as a musician, as a girlfriend, everything. You needed this for yourself: you were tired of feeling so… empty. There were moments where you were so full of life, so elated and bright and hopeful for the future, only to come crashing back down to your dark reality because of your own insecurities. You’re sick of hyper-fixating on your imperfections and shortcomings. Your journey of self-love is incredibly overdue, and you were preparing to be softer with yourself. You vowed that you wouldn’t neglect yourself or your aspirations anymore! 

If your sister was going to hate you for falling in love with Ellie, then there's nothing you could do about it anymore. You prayed that wasn’t the case, but you were willing to accept the consequences for her, even if it meant losing the person closest to you. 

Your therapist swore to hold you to that. 

You’ve never flown on a plane before, but the opportunity of a new experience was slowly luring you in. People always talk about how fun California is during the summer, and one of your favorite people is going to be with you the entire time! 

… Why the hell not? 

i wanna go 

who’s buying that plane ticket tho 😳

AHHHHHHHHEJWJJW

me tf

i brought some of my dicks out here YESSIIRRR

LFMMMFAOAOOO ur a dumbass 

but☺️☺️need that tbh 

word? 

word🙄 don’t b annoying 

gonna fuck u so good 

ur so good at eating pussy 

gonna make love to yo u 

WHEN WE MAKE LOOOVEEEE YOU GO AWWWAWWWAWWW 

YOUREJW STUPIIDDDKSOW 

GET OFF MY PHONE DICK

LOOOOOOOL 

titty pic first? i gotta headache 🤕 

UR BLOCKED

mmm fuuuuck keep being mean im gnna cuuuum uhhhhh

i love u 

kiss 

UR GAY!!!! DISGUSTING!!! 

jk love u baby 

sososo much 

mineminemine

mwwwwwwAH!

mwahmwahwamhwahhhhmwwah 

lmk when u get in town!! 

i will stinky!!! ily 

love uuuuu 

You were cheesing so hard until you heard a sleepy chuckle come from beside you. Your cheeks burned even harder as you placed your phone face-down on the table. Curse Arya and her nosiness! 

“Y’all are so… fucking… gay. I hate queer bitches.” 

“Shut up!”

Your best friend laughed into your shoulder even louder. 

It had only been a couple of weeks since you’d been home, but you were having the time of your life. 

After Starr and Kris returned to town, the four of you went everywhere together: the fair, out to brunch and dinners, to the movies, long drives with no destination. You even followed Kris to the gym once: you only lifted for fifteen minutes, but you tried, and that’s all that matters! You took every opportunity to spend time with your friends, and you enjoyed every second of it. You’ve never been this active on Instagram in your life! 

You also took the initiative to record yourself—your face included! — playing one of your own compositions, even though you haven’t posted it yet. The six-minute video was already edited and ready to go, but you didn’t want to rush yourself too quickly. You weren’t ready for your audience to hear it just yet, but you were getting there faster than you thought. You were determined to post it before the summer was over. 

Baby steps. 

There were only three days until you flew to California: trying to convince your mom to let you leave the state alone was almost impossible, but once you emphasized that you’d be staying with Ellie, she lightened up a bit. She was still very skeptical and demanded that you call her three times a day, but she eventually resigned and granted you permission. 

Starr and Kris were laid across your bed as they walked you through packing while Arya retwisted her hair in your bathroom, you sat on the floor rummaging through your drawers. 

“Bro, it’s fucking summer! Cali is like… nine-thousand degrees during this time, you need at least four bikinis!” 

You chuckled at Starr as you folded your rash guard, “I wanna try to surf, though. I don't want my boobs flying out.” 

“I bet that’d make your girl happy,” Kris added as she stuck her tongue out at you, making Arya and Starr snicker. 

You shook your head at them as your cheeks burned, “… Shut up.” 

Arya, of course, didn’t care. You heard her release fake, high-pitched moans of oh, Ellie! oh, god! I love you! harder, yeah! come from behind you as your two friends laughed harder. 

“I said shut up! My mom’s downstairs, have some couth!” Your face was burning, at this point. You couldn’t stand them, sometimes!  

“Whatever, can you smuggle drugs for us?” You heard Arya ask. 

“Facts! Pleeease bring me some Cali bud, I’m feening,” Starr said, gazing down at you with puppy eyes. 

You stared at her stoically, “If I get held up at the airport, I’m killing both of y’all when I get outta jail.” 

“… So that’s a yes! I wanna try Bubba Kush… Ooo, or wedding cake!” 

“You already smoke wedding cake, Ari,” Kris said blankly.

“… Okay? Cali wedding cake is probably better— “

Starr jumped in. “That’s not how it works—“

“Yes the hell it is— “

You and Kris shook your heads at each other as the two weedheads debated bud quality… again. 

You couldn’t wait to get strains for them to try so they would cut it out. 

Days later, you boarded the plane, and you sent your mom one last love uuu text before opening the messages between you and your sister. 

All the blue texts you sent were still left unread, and you sighed sadly. 

You typed and sent an i love you, the message showing up delivered. 

You put your phone on airplane mode when you got to your seat.

The flight to California had been… god awful. You now have a hatred for planes. 

Why did no one tell you that airplane bathrooms are uniquely disgusting? They might have porta-potties beat!

You were currently waiting outside of baggage claim for Ellie to come pick you up and… you completely understood why she sent a link to a How to Survive LAX guide on YouTube. This place was fucking crazy! The number of times you almost got trampled in a twenty-minute time span was impeccable; You were never traveling during any holiday again! 

The sun was setting, and the lights of the airport were damn near blinding you, but you were so excited to see Ellie and your friends. Your foot tapped in anticipation next to the curb as you clutched the handle of your luggage tightly. 

You suddenly heard a slew of honk!honk!honk!honk!s from in front of you, and your heart soared in your chest when your eyes connected with Ellie and Dina’s excited ones through the rolled down window. They hopped out of the car as quickly as they could, instantly enfolding you in a tight embrace and kissing your forehead and cheek, their scents surrounding you. You couldn’t stop smiling. 

“C’mon, lemme help you,” Ellie released you to grab your luggage and ran over to the trunk as Dina grabbed the duffel from your shoulder, scurrying over to climb into the back seat. 

Ellie jumped into the driver's seat as cars honked from behind her car, pressing the gas on accident and forcing the car to rev up. 

“Bitch, can you drive like you have sense? My baby’s in the fucking car!” Dina scolded from the back seat.

“Shut up,” Ellie threw over her shoulder before putting the car in drive and glancing at you. “Missed you so fucking much, holy fu—GET THE FUCK OUT THE WAY, PRICK!” 

You couldn’t hold in your laughs at Ellie’s road rage, “I swear to god, these fuckers don’t know how to drive!” 

You watched her clumsily swerve into the line of traffic, and you couldn’t help but squirm a little in your seat. She looked so good: Slipknot muscle tee, washed jeans, sneakers, her fucking arms and tattoo and bracelets and everything! She’s so fucking fine and she always smelled so good. How did you survive not seeing her for so long? 

She must’ve noticed your intense examination of her appearance because she turned to you, slowly licking her lips as she took you in. Her eyes were gazing over your entire body, all the way down to your sneakers and your thighs clenched together. 

PUT THAT DICK UP, WE NOT HUMPIN’! —

Dina’s body leaned onto the center console between you and Ellie, cranking up the radio before residing back to her seat behind you. You saw Ellie avert her gaze onto the road as she bit her lip, a red tint blending in with the freckles on her cheeks. 

You cheesed before looking out the window. 

Neither of you noticed Dina’s observant stares between the two of you. 

You, Dina, and Ellie stopped at her favorite dispensary to pick-up before she dropped Dina off at the hotel she was staying at for the weekend. She gave you a fat kiss on your cheek before she ran inside the… seemingly expensive building, leaving you and Ellie by yourselves. You slowly looked over at her: she looked so deep in thought, head rested back on the seat, fingers mindlessly tapping on the wheel, picking at her lip with her teeth. 

You spoke softly, brows pulled down in concern, “Ellie, you okay?” 

She nodded but didn’t look at you. She took a deep breath before mumbling, “Took everything in me not to kiss you when she was in here.” 

Your heart fluttered in your chest, “Why didn’t you?” 

She turned her head, finally meeting your gaze. “Wanted to ask you before I… said anything to anyone, wanted to talk to you’n make sure you were okay with it. I didn’t wanna assu— “

You impulsively leaned over the center console, your lips connecting with her soft ones, and you held her cheek in your hand. You felt her hand wrap around your wrists as she sighed into your mouth, her calloused fingers massaging your pulse. 

You pulled away from her, and she chased you before you spoke in a hushed whisper, “I don’t care if people know anymore, Ellie. I wanna… I wanna be happy. With you a-and in general. If you… still wanna be with— “

Her mouth cut your words off, her hand coming up to the back of your neck to pull you closer. She pulled away slightly to speak, “You’re my girlfriend, and we’re together, you understand?” 

She sounded so serious, so sure, and it made tears glisten in your eyes as you looked into hers. They were so full of love and admiration, and you hoped yours expressed the same. 

“Let’s go home? Someone’s waiting for you,” she spoke in between soft kisses. You nodded eagerly. 

She gave you one more peck before she let you go, putting her car in drive as you eased back into your seat. 

She held your hand the entire drive. 

Ellie’s other home was so fucking adorable! 

White tile floors, black furniture littered with small green details, and Duchess! You missed her dearly! 

She helped you bring your bags up, placing them in her room near her nightstand. You inspected the quaint space: it wasn’t nearly as stocked as her room back home, but it still had intricate details that were solely hers. Small, twinkling lights, her producing equipment and monitors, her green blankets! 

You felt her arm wrap around your waist to pull you closer, reconnecting your lips in a proper kiss. You felt her hand sneak down to your clothed ass, giving it a light squeeze as your arms wrapped around her neck. The bulb in her mouth moved against your bottom lip, and you happily allowed it entry. 

She pulled away slightly to whisper against your mouth, “Wanna shower?” 

You nodded before kissing her again, pulling her closer to you. You missed her so bad; you needed her so bad—

Meow! Meowmeow! Meow! —

Ellie pulled away, and you saw that annoyed look on her face at her baby’s cries. You laughed and kissed her cheek before moving towards your bag for some clothes. 

You heard Ellie walk towards the little angel, mumbling do you hate gay people? be honest! to her as she meowed. 

“M’gonna shower, El.” 

“Okay, baby! Bathroom doors on the right side of the bed!” You heard her call back to you. 

You were so, so happy. 

After showering, you did your skincare and brushed your teeth before wrapping your hair. The anticipation of your little trip left you restless for two days, and your exhaustion was crashing into you all at once. 

You exited the bathroom to find a sweatsuit-clad Ellie already sitting on the edge of her bed and rolling a blunt, her back turned to you. 

She turned to look at you over her shoulder when you shut the bathroom door, “Hiii, babe, c’mere.” 

She set her blunt on the ashtray on her nightstand before flopping onto her back and making grabby hands at you. You laughed at her gestures softly as you snuggled into your side. 

She crawled up next to you, immediately connecting your lips and lifting your leg up to wrap around her waist. You couldn’t stop smiling into the kiss and it made her giggle with you. 

“Tired?” she whispered in your ear before kissing the space below it. You squirmed under her, but you nodded. She hummed against you before moving back to kiss your nose. 

“What’s the plan for tomorrow?” 

Her brows furrowed in confusion before they shot up in realization, “Oh, yeah, the fuck, sorry.” 

You giggled as you listened, “So, there’s two parties tomorrow. There’s the beach party, that’s the one we’re going to. And then there’s gonna be one at a club that Sai mixes for, we don’t have to go to that one if you don’t wanna, it’s up t’you.” 

Your interest perked at the mention of a club. You’ve never felt strongly about clubs one way or another, but you were very eager to make the most out of the two days you were here. You wanted to go everywhere with Ellie. 

“I’ll go to both.” 

“Yeah?” she smiled down at you.

“Yeah, El, sounds fun.” 

“Kay, baby, go to sleep.” 

She planted one more kiss to your nose and lips before shuffling off of you, scooting over to retrieve her discarded blunt from the ashtray. 

You pulled the covers back to get underneath them, and the minute your head hit the pillow, your eyes fluttered sleepily. The calming scent of Ellie engulfed you, and you drifted off to sleep. 

You woke up late the next day with Ellie’s back to your chest and your arm and leg thrown over her body. 

You shifted slightly to stretch and rub your eyes. You looked past Ellie’s head and at the small clock on the nightstand. It was almost ten. 

You sat up slowly, and you felt Ellie shift before she groggily mumbled, “You always wake up so damn early.” 

You huffed tiredly, “It’s not early, you’re just a light sleeper.” 

“I fucking hate it, you sleep like you’re dead.” 

You laughed quietly as she smiled. You got out from under the covers before turning back to her, seeing that she was already facing you. 

“What time we leaving?” 

She yawned as she answered, “Around noon. The beach isn’t far but traffic is gonna be crazy.”

You cracked your back before planting your feet on the cold floor before whispering, “Shower with me?” 

She instantly sat up at your suggestion and you rolled your eyes with a chuckle. She chased behind you, arms wrapping around your waist as she planted kisses to your neck. 

You’ll never get used to how pretty Ellie is. 

You rinsed the soap off your body as your eyes trailed over her dripping, bare form, taking in every scar, freckle, mole, hair, anything you could see. You were so, so in love with everything about her. You could feel her gaze burning holes into you like you were doing hers, but you couldn’t help your gawking. 

You were ready to pounce on her right now! 

The kiss she planted on your cheek broke your stupor, and you could feel her smiling on your skin. 

“Still stare hard as fuck,” she mumbled against your skin.

You smiled. “Fuck off, so do you.” 

She leaned in closer to you, and your smile dropped as you gazed into her intense eyes. They were so dark and wanton as she looked you up and down. Her nose brushed against yours as she spoke quietly, “I wanna kiss.” 

“Then kiss me,” you whispered. 

“Want you to kiss me,” she mumbled needily against your lips. 

You didn’t hesitate, wrapping your arms around her neck to pull her closer. Her breasts pressed up against yours as her hands grabbed your asscheeks, slowly walking forward to press you up against the wet wall. 

You gasped and arched closer into her when the cold surface touched your back, but her tongue sliding into your mouth distracted you instantly. She lifted your leg around her waist, and you stumbled unsteadily, but she pressed you even further into the wall to keep you stable. 

She grinded into you, planting wet kisses on your cheek, down to your jaw, and sucking marks into your neck. You panted out into the foggy bathroom, wet moans leaving your mouth as her tongue moved on your skin. 

Your cunt squeezed tight when she dug her teeth into your shoulder before, her hand coming up to yank the wet coils on your head. Your eyes fluttered closed when you felt her play with your nipples, her rough fingers rubbing and pulling on the hard buds. She sloppily kissed down your chest and sucked bruises into the skin. 

“Missed these fucking tits,” she groaned out against your chest, her free hand sliding down to your cunt. Her fingers immediately rubbed your clit in quick, tight circles. You could barely stand on your own as you bucked into her hand, the leg you held around her waist jerking at her touch. She shoved her face into your neck again, nipping the sensitive skin. 

“Needa fuck you, missed you s’fuckin’ bad.” 

You moaned out as you nodded eagerly, you needed her to fuck you just as badly. 

She suddenly pulled away from you to shut the water off, planting one more kiss to your mouth before grabbing your hand and pulling your dazed form out of the shower and to her bedroom. 

She pushed your still dripping body onto her bed, and you watched her pull her nightstand drawer open frantically as she dug around. Her breath was so heavy, and she was so eager to touch you, and you were just as eager for her. You needed her in your guts. 

She pulled out a blue strap and stepped into it, shakily adjusting the harness before dropping to her knees in front of your spread legs. She yanked you closer to the edge of the bed by your thighs and shoved her tongue inside you without warning. Her nose was brushing against your clit, and you watched her eyes roll back at your scent and taste and you moaned out. 

She was eating your cunt like you were paying her, it was so wet and sloppy and quick. The sounds that filled her room were disgusting, the nasty slurps and sucks nearly echoing in the quiet space. You would’ve been so embarrassed if you weren’t about to cum!

Your hands flew down to pull at her soaking hair, and one of her hands traveled up your body to massage your tits. Her nails dug into your nipples and your hips jerked off the bed, heavy pants leaving your mouth as the tension in your core built. 

“E-El, fuckmeplease— “

She slapped your tits before sucking your clit into her mouth, shaking her head between your trembling legs. You were yanking at her hair, digging your nails into her shoulder, begging her to fuck you into the bed. You needed her so badly! 

You looked down at her, and she looked up at you. She looked so fucking cute her flushed cheeks and glossy eyes as she ravished you. “Cum on m’face, baby, please, fuck— “

“M’gonna!” 

She released whiny mhmmhm!s against your bud like she was going to die if you didn’t cum in her mouth, like she needed to drink you to survive. Your eyes rolled back when you felt that strong pull in your belly, it’s right there! So close so close—

Your mouth dropped open in a silent scream as your orgasm hit you fast and hard, your head falling back onto her wet sheets as you shook through your release. You tried to lift your hips up so she could lick into you deeper, but her strong arms pinned you down, her nails digging into the plush on your hips. You hope they leave indents in your skin! 

You didn’t even get to recover from your first orgasm before Ellie climbed on top of you, slapping her dick on your clit a few times before pushing inside your clenching entrance, and you both groaned in unison as her body moved on top of yours. 

She was fucking you so hard the second she bottomed out, digging into you deep, and all you could do was take it. Your legs lifted and spread even wider on their own, your body working on autopilot to get her even deeper inside you. Her soaking body was fully pressed against you as she grinded her hips into yours, your nails digging into her back as you cried out, the skin moving under your nails.

“Ellie, mmh, fuck yes! —” 

“Feels s’fuckin’ good, babygirl, Jesus fuckin’ Christ— “

One of her arms hooked under your knee to lift your leg up even, and you screamed when her tip grazed against your cervix. 

“Uggh! El, can’t take i-t, fuuck— “

“Yeah, you can, you’re takin’ it so fuckin’ good, baby, shit, missed you so fucking bad.” 

You missed her, you missed her, you missed her! “M’gonnacumm’gonnacum, yesyesyesyes!”

“Fuck, baby, cum on this fuckin’ dick,” she gritted out right next to your ear and you shouted as another orgasm hit you, your walls squeezing down on her hard. She fucked you through it as she moaned out your name, the sloppy noises of your cunt mixing with your pleasured screams of her name. You didn’t think she could hit deeper, but she managed, and it made you cum harder. 

She stopped sucking on your neck to connect your lips, your tongues messily swiping against each other, her spit coating the outside of your mouth as you moaned into hers, the last remnants of your orgasm pulsing through you. 

You whined into the kiss before pushing at her shoulders, and she immediately pulled away to gently ask how you were doing.

You cut her off with one last hard push and she flipped onto her back, her dick leaving you with a nasty squelch before you clumsily straddled her waist. 

Your cheeks burned at the evident shock on her face before you watched her ogle your body. Your neck, your tits, your pulsing clit, everywhere. She looked like she was going to eat you alive! It was getting you so hot. 

You boldly reached behind you and grabbed her wet cock, holding eye contact with her as she brought her hands up to massage your tits. One of your hands gripped your tits on top of hers, and you brought her dick towards your drippy entrance. 

You popped the tip in and slowly sunk down on her. You watched her eyes drop to watch your pussy swallow her, and she let out a dazed fuuuck, releasing your tits to prop herself up on her elbows to get a better view. She looked so sexy like this, cheeks bright red and eyes glossy. 

You got more confident the deeper she slid, and your eyes flitted as every ridge caught on your walls. You were panting heavily when you took the last few inches, sat fully in her lap with your heart pounding in your ears. 

You watched her eye your cunt, and your hand trailed down your body to rub your wet clit, your fingers getting coated in your slick instantly. She moaned out before thrusting up, and you moaned even louder as painful pleasure shot through you. 

Your hips slowly rose before coming back down, your movements barely there. You took her slow, and it felt so good. 

She dropped back down onto her back, her hands flying to your hips to help guide you on her. You felt her nails digging into the plush skin as she moved you into a steady grind. Your free hand came up to grab her wrist as you followed her hands as best you could. You wanted to watch her watch you so badly, but you could barely keep your eyes open, it felt so good. 

They rolled back whenever she brushed up against that patchy spot inside you, and your hips grinded down harder. She was whining underneath you, grabbing at you everywhere, trying to get you closer to her clit. You’ve never seen her this desperate to cum, and it made you squeeze on her dick. 

You shakily shoved your wet fingers into her mouth, and you watched her eyes roll back into her skull as she moaned at your taste. She rocked your hips harder, pulling you down against her, but you pulled at her wrists to stop her. She lightened her grip instantly. 

You took a deep breath before leaning back, propping yourself up on her thighs, your knees coming up to point at her ceiling. She had a full view of your pussy full of her cock, and by the way her eyes fluttered as she gawked, she liked it! A lot!

You raised your hips before dropping them, and her dick hit somewhere deep inside you that your legs jerk closed, but she instantly pried them open to lightly slap your cunt. 

“Keep t-those fuckin’ legs open,” she sounded like she was drunk. 

You nodded as you moaned, experimentally bouncing on her again. You watched her head fall back as she moaned out, her bitten, wet lips parted as she cursed out into the room. You bounced again, and again, jumping on her harder until she sat up, wrapping a strong arm around your waist and quickly fucking up into you, digging as deep as she could in your cunt. Her bed started moving with your bodies as you wailed, one of your arms wrapping around her neck and pulling her close. 

“You’re so fuckin’ gorgeous, gonna make me cum so hard, what the fuck,” she was whimpering into your neck, and it forced more slick out of your cunt. You felt so sexy, so sensual, so desired by her, and the pleasure was making tears jerk in your eyes. 

“Want your cum in m’pussy, daddy! P-Please?” 

“Fuuuck! —“

She was hitting you so deep, and you both were so loud. She was sucking on your neck and mindlessly rubbing your clit with her free hand, her hand on your hip scratching you deep. You wanted her to rip you apart!

“Fuuuck, baby, m’so fucking close, fuckfuckfuckyeah!—“ 

You were screaming out wanton cries of fucking wan’it, daddy as you grinded down as hard as you could. You didn’t even care about your own orgasm; you needed her to cum! You were surrounded by your girlfriend, her warmth, her scent, and you wanted to drown in her. You would happily die here, right on top of her as you made her scream for you! You want her cum, you want it you want it—

You heard her moan loudly in your ear and it made you grind down even harder. She stopped rubbing your clit, wrapping both arms around your waist in a tight grip so she could hold you down right where she needed, your nails digging into her shoulder as she grinded out her orgasm in your cunt. You would give anything to feel the warmth of her filling you up, her creaming your insides. The nasty visuals in your head made you jerk on her. 

She moved her head up from your neck to connect your lips in a passionate kiss, the grinds of her hips slowing as she moaned into your mouth. Your hand flew up to her hair and pulled, and you felt her grind deeper. 

“M’about to say fuck the beach in a second,” she mumbled out against your mouth. You laughed softly before planting a smacking kiss on her cheek, your other arms wrapping around her neck. 

You both stiffened when you heard a thud come from the other side of her bed, Duchess swiftly jumping on the bed before flying across Ellie’s room like a bat out of hell and bolting out her door again. 

You both stared at each other before you busted out laughing, still winded, “She's actually the worst, feral ass.” 

“Watch your mouth, don’t talk about my baby like that!” 

“Did you raise her?! Ohhh, exactly— “ 

“She loves me more, you said it yours— “

You jolted when you felt her hand crack down on your asscheek, the stinging sensation immediately spreading on your skin. You let out a shock noise before jerking downward. You watched a sly grin appear on her face before she sucked her bottom lip into her mouth, her hands gripping your hips tighter. 

“Lay down.” 

And you shuddered in her lap at her tone.  

… Fuck the beach. 

You and Ellie barely made it to the Municipal Pier. 

You couldn’t keep your hands off each other! She damn near imprinted your bodies into her mattress with how passionately she fucked you… another three times! Your legs hurt so badly, how the hell were you going to trek through sand?!

When she finally got off you, you both threw on your rash guards and swim shorts before grabbing your bags and booking it downstairs. The party started at two, and it was already forty-five after! 

The ride over had been so fun, you and Ellie blasting music in her rental jeep as you moved through traffic, wind blowing past your ears. People were dressed in their bathing suits and swim shorts, barbecuing, buying fireworks for tonight. The city was lively, and you took it all in. 

You and Ellie waddled down the packed beach as you laughed amongst yourselves. The closer you got to the shore, the more you could make out the outline of Dina and Jesse snuggled up under the giant umbrella from a distance, and it made you so excited.

You ignored the discomfort in your thighs before grabbing Ellie’s hand in yours and clumsily bolting down the sand. 

Dina must’ve recognized your shouts of her name because she looked up and nearly flew into the air to run towards the two of you. You accepted her tight embrace, wrapping your arms around her as she kissed the top of your head. 

You opened your eyes to take in some of the groups. You recognized some of the faces: Riley and Abby (you saw her on the news a couple times! Hockey legend!) were relaxing on the lounge chairs as Isaiah and some of his friends ran up and down the shore with water guns and balloons. Jesse came up to you to pull you into a hug after Dina released you to embrace Ellie. 

Jesse walked you over to the blanket that was stocked with food, drinks, and pre-rolls as music blasted from the speaker on the edge of it. 

He pointed out everything for you, “Get whatever you like, there’s forks and plates over here. This is Isaiah’s little phone for the speaker, queue whatever song you want and come shoot with us!” 

He handed you the small IPhone before grabbing a water gun and sprinting towards Isaiah, shooting him with water. 

“I know that ain’t who I think it is!” 

A familiar voice came from in front of you. You looked up and were met with a surprised, but delighted Riley and Abby. 

“Gimme a hug, girl, what the fuck!” Riley got up from her chair and ran towards you, giving you a tight embrace, Abby doing the same with a soft smile. 

“What are you doing out here! Where’s your sister?!” 

You hesitated, “She’s… she couldn’t make it! Work and whatever, y’all know how it is.” 

“Aww, I miss her! I haven’t seen her in a minute,” Riley pouted slightly, Abby nodding in agreement. 

“She misses y’all, too,” you said immediately. 

She pinched your cheek before grabbing two water guns, slyly handing them to you and Abby before grabbing one for herself. 

“Gonna blast these motherfuckers, c’mon!” Abby screamed before bolting towards them while Riley shouted it’s a stick-uuup!, trailing her best friend closely. 

You turned to find Ellie and Dina sharing a pre-roll, giggling as they watched their friends shoot the shit out of each other with salt water. Ellie must’ve felt your eyes on her because she looked over at you, a soft glint in her eye as she stared lovingly at you. Your cheeks ran hot when she winked and nodded towards the laughing group, encouraging you to play with them. 

You bent over to grab the tub of water balloons before chasing after them. They all laughed when Isaiah snatched one and cracked you on the back with it, the freezing water making you shriek and shoot him with your toy gun. 

You wished your sister were here. You hoped she could reconnect with them soon. 

The sun set, and you were very tipsy. 

After blasting your newfound friends with water guns, swimming in the ocean, and attempting to surf without waves(dammit!), you all settled on your blankets laid out on the sand as young people passed around wearable glow sticks. 

You were currently chowing down on another lukewarm cheeseburger— it tasted like the best thing you’ve ever eaten thanks to the three pineapple margaritas you downed before this! —as you anticipated the little firework show. 

You heard some shuffling behind you and was met with Ellie’s squatted form and gentle smile before she kissed your cheek, “Feeling good, babe?” 

You nodded around your sandwich before shoving a couple potato chips in your mouth, clumsily resting your head on her shoulder. You heard her chuckle, planting gentle kisses to your head, “I’m gonna make a sandwich, gimme a sec, okay?” 

“Kay,” you whispered back before watching her get up and walk towards the paper plates and tupperware. 

You finished the last bit of your burger and chips when you felt another presence beside you. Isaiah! 

You grinned at him, “Hiii.”

He smiled, “Hey, man, how you been.” 

“Fine, I like your friends,” you said with a slight slur and a smile, pointing towards Dylan, Regine, and Marcus by the bonfire almost setting their marshmallow sticks on fire. You saw Regine smack the fuck out of Marcus’s head and snickered. 

“They like you more, they think you’re hilarious,” he added while laughing, shaking his head at them. 

“I’ve been told,” you said, miming flipping your hair over your shoulder. 

He chuckled again before quieting, “How’s, um… how’s your sister doing?” 

You sighed sadly at the mention of her as you stared at the water, “Still mad, I think. Planning my funeral.” 

“I don’t think so, you’re literally the only person she cares about,” he laughed sympathetically. 

“Have you talked to her?” you said, turning to face him as he stared off at the ocean. 

“A few times, didn’t get a good read on where we stand, though. Unfortunately,” you heard the sorrow in his tone. 

“Did she say anything about me?” your ears perked at the information of her being communicative. 

“… Nah, bro. M’sorry,” he denied gently. 

You deflated, but you nodded, “She, uh… she hasn’t answered me. I-I visited her a few times, but she didn’t answer.” 

“Just give her some time. She’s gonna come around at some point. I believe it.” 

You hoped that was true; This was the longest you’ve gone without speaking to her, and it still hurt you deeply. 

“Show’s gonna start soon. Wanna s’more?” he offered with a soft smile. 

“… Yes, please.” 

“Gotcha, lemme get you one.” 

You watched him slowly walk towards his friends, grabbing a skewer from its bag and sticking your marshmallow through it. 

You saw Ellie walk back over to you after talking to Riley with a full plate, smiling before she sat down beside you. You inspected the contents of her plate and laughed. 

She’d stacked a burger pattie, Hot Fries, and something that looked like tree bark between two buns. You shook your head at her, “And what the hell is that?!” 

“A fucking masterpiece, you wouldn’t understand!” Ellie laughed with red-tinted eyes. “You haven’t had real food until you’ve had a burger with chips, mustard, pickles, and jalapeño beef jerky. Fuck Gordon Ramsey!” 

You laughed harder as she took a large bite of her monstrosity, muffling out a this is real fucking food as she chewed with gusto. You giddily kissed her cheek, and she hummed happily when you rested your head on her shoulder. 

You sat in comfortable silence as she finished the tornado on her plate, you munching on the s’more that Isaiah brought you as he laughed quietly at Ellie’s grubbing. 

You saw the other beachgoers start to stand from their chairs and blankets, looking at the sky with their phones aimed upward in anticipation. You turned to look at Ellie’s relaxed state: she was leaning back on her hands, her legs outstretched as the gentle breeze moved through her hair as she looked at the sky. 

The firework show started, but you didn’t care to watch as you stared at your girlfriend, bright colors exploding above the two of you. She looked so innocent, her expression filled with wonder as she stared up at the colorful sky, and the world around you seemed to melt away the longer you focused on her. 

She turned her head to look at you, her tender eyes filling with affection, and your face burned as you smiled. She smiled at you just as brightly. 

She scooted closer to you, your shoulders now touching. You looked down at her lips, and you saw her look down at yours. You slowly leaned forward, your noses brushing against her before you kissed her. Your eyes shut, the colorful explosions shining beneath your fluttering eyelids as your lips molded with hers. She was so gentle, and your heart soared in your chest. 

You pulled away and looked at her fondly, and she did the same. You watched her lips move as she mouthed I love you, and you smiled widely, leaning in closer to nuzzle your nose against hers. 

You loved her just as much, if not more. 

A surprisingly sober Dylan offered to drive you and Ellie back to her apartment, which you happily accepted when Ellie stood wobbly from the blanket. 

You and Dylan guided her back to the parked jeep, making sure she was buckled in as you handed Dylan the keys from her backpack before jumping in next to your girlfriend. 

“Bro, I don’t think she’s going out tonight,” Dylan commented over his shoulder as you both stared at a very slumped Ellie. You’re never letting her touch a bong again! 

“Nah, probably not! Are you gonna be okay to get back?” You asked as he started the jeep. 

“Yeah, don’t trip, Marcus is gonna follow us and I’ll leave with them.” He backed out of the tight parking spot and eased into traffic. 

“Cool, I appreciate it,” Ellie snuggled up next to you, her face in your neck.

“Course, man, you’re good!” 

The traffic was horrendous, and it took so long to get back on the freeway, but after a lot of swerving and honking, the jeep pulled into Ellie’s apartment complex. Dylan helped you walk Ellie into the building and onto the elevator. 

“I got her from here, thank you so much,” you turned to look at your new friend as the elevator door opened, securing a hold on Ellie’s waist as he held the automatic door with his hand. 

“Don’t sweat it, this was so fucking fun, holy shit,” he said with a laugh, and it made you smile, Ellie nuzzling deeper into your neck to kiss it. She was fucking zooted, what the fuck!

“I had such a good time! I hope we can link soon.” 

“You coming back to Cali, or?” 

“I’d love to, hopefully real soon!” 

“Dope, I’ll see you then!” He said with a grin, and you waved to the best of your ability. 

You heard the elevator door shut as you and Ellie waddled down the hallway. You unlocked her door eased inside, shutting and locking it behind you. You kicked your slides off and dropped the bags onto the floor to walk you both to her room. 

“C’mon, hon, gotta getchu cleaned up,” you sat her down on the chair to help her undress so she could shower, but she wrapped her arms around your waist so she could rest her head on your stomach. 

“Love you s’much,” she barely mumbled against your clothed tummy. You smiled to yourself, kissing the top of her head before pushing her back into the seat so you could get her rash guard off. 

“Love you, too. Lift up, babe,” she listened, and you slid her swim shorts off. 

“M’sorry you… didn’t get to go out— “

“Hush! I’m fine, just wanted to spend time with you,” you helped her out of the chair, her arms wrapped tightly around your neck as you guided her to the bathroom. You let her rest against the bathroom sink so you could strip and turn the hot water on. Detangling your hair was about to be a bitch! 

“C’mon,” you whispered to Ellie as she nodded off behind you. She jolted as you gently pulled her under the stream, wetting her body and grabbing her soap and sponge. You washed her as thoroughly as you could, trying to get all the sand off her body; no one likes itching when they’re trying to sleep!

After you were satisfied, you grabbed her shampoo and washed her hair. You rubbed your soapy hands through her soft strands as gently as you could, massaging the suds in as she sighed happily. You watched her eyes flutter open slightly to look at you, and she smiled harder before shutting them once again. You couldn’t help the small grin that appeared on your face. 

You brought her under the stream once more so you could get the soap out before grabbing the conditioner and repeating the same thing. 

She was all clean and smelled so good!

You noticed her watching you clean yourself next, green eyes soft and glossy as she leaned against the shower wall. You sent her a gentle grin, and she slowly sent one back before she started giggling. 

You quickly parted, shampooed, and detangled your hair, getting all the sandy particles out of your coils before conditioning, and Ellie watched all of it with affection. 

You shut the water off when you were done washing up, grabbing Ellie’s towel from its rack, and wrapping her in it before guiding her out of the shower. You wrapped yourself in your towel before walking towards her sink to grab her toothbrush and paste.

“C’mon, El, open,” you grabbed her chin gently, and her jaw opened with a cracked ahhh. You giggled gently as you scrubbed her mouth, carefully getting around her tongue piercing before instructing her to spit in the sink. You gave her a shot of mouthwash, and she slowly swished it as you unraveled the towel from around her and dried her hair with it. She spit into the sink, and you kissed her cheek before guiding her to sit on her side of the bed. 

You grabbed an oversized shirt and boxers from her drawer before returning to where she sat to dress her. She lifted her arms so you could put her shirt on, unfolding her boxers so you could get them up her legs. She snickered before taking them from your grasp and shoving them on herself. 

“Alright,” you said blankly as she chuckled. “Go to bed.” 

“C’meeere,” she whined out playfully, making grabby hands at you. 

“I gotta feed the baby! And do my hair, go to sleep!” 

She didn’t argue, instantly plopping down onto her soft pillow. You tucked her in and kissed her forehead, quickly pecking her lips before walking over to your suitcase. 

You put on a t-shirt and cotton panties, grabbed your wide tooth, and headed to the bathroom. You heard soft jingles coming from Ellie's room, and you made kissy noises to lure in Duchess. 

The kitty watched you moisturize your scalp before putting your hair into four big twists from atop the closed toilet. You brushed your teeth and did your skincare before wrapping your head in your silk scarf. You picked up a purring Duchess and made your way to the living room to refill her food and water bowls.

You pet her gently as she drank. You gave her one last kiss before reentering Ellie's room and getting under the blankets as your girlfriend snored soundly. You snuggled up to her, wrapping your arm around her waist to pull her closely before sleep overtook you. 

You woke up to the smell of… pesto! 

Ellie wasn’t next to you, but you heard clunking coming from the kitchen as the cabinets opened and closed. You rubbed your eyes before reaching for your phone on the nightstand to check the time; Almost eleven. You sat up slowly, removing the blankets from your body to stretch. 

You got up and dazedly made your way over to the kitchen, a cozy-looking Ellie pulling out the orange juice jug from the fridge. She had a tray set up with fancy looking sandwiches, cut up fruit, and pastries. You smiled before clearing your throat. 

Your girlfriend jumped before turning, immediately relaxing at the sight of you as a grin spread across her face, “Scared me. Fuck.” 

“Sorry, you made breakfast?” 

“… Well, yes, I absolutely cooked all of this! You know I'm actually a licensed chef? Literally just got my $250,000 check from Food Network!” She said matter-of-factly as she poured the juice into glasses. 

You huffed out a laugh and shook your head, “You’re so annoying.” 

“You like it,” she hummed as she walked over to you, her scent overtaking your senses as she kissed you. “Wanna eat now?” 

You wrapped your arms around her neck, and hers came around your waist, “Depends, we got somewhere to be?” 

“Not right now, everyone wants to see you one last time before you fly out. We were planning to just go over to Sai’s place to chill.” 

You brightened at the mention of seeing them again, “His friends are so funny, oh my god!” 

“Dude, they fucking love you! I woke up to a whole bunch of texts from them asking when you’re coming back. Like I don’t fucking know, whenever she wants!” She said as she smiled. 

You laughed with her before you felt Duchess rub up against your bare leg. You released Ellie to pet her, “Mornin’, baby!” 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m gonna go eat while you play with the demon.” 

You gasped playfully, “Watch your mouth, bitch!”

You heard her chuckle as she walked into her room with the stocked tray. 

“She’ll never have the bond we do,” you whispered to the kitty, and she meowed in agreement. You kissed her head. 

“I heard you!” You heard her release a muffled shout. She’s really eating without you! 

Duchess rubbed against you and purred louder. 

You and Ellie woke up hours later to Duchess’s meows. 

After eating and showing Ellie the ninth season of Bad Girls Club, —she was so hurt to find out that the show got canceled! What d’you mean there’s no more fucking auditions?!— you gave each other toe-curling head, played with Duchess’s laser toy, and knocked out. 

You’d watched Ellie sit at her desk with her headphones, switching between her production software and her computer files before you dozed off to the sound of clicking keys. 

You didn’t feel her crawl into the bed next to you, but your heartbeat sped up when you felt her arm around you as she shifted. 

Meow meowmeow! Meo—

“Get your kid, bro,” Ellie grumbled sleepily against the back of your neck. You laughed tiredly. 

“Shut u— “

Meowmeow Meow! Meow!

“Alright, alright,” you blinked before moving away from Ellie and pulling the covers back so you could get up. You saw Duchess sitting politely in the entryway, and her meowing stopped the minute she saw you get up. She just stared at you. 

“What’s the matter?” You asked her softly. 

She just walked away. You heard Ellie snickering behind you. 

“I don’t why you’re laughing, we gotta get up soon, anyway. It’s almost eight,” you threw over your shoulder. 

She only laughed harder. 

Isaiah’s apartment building was fucking luxurious. Why were all your friends so fucking wealthy?! 

Ellie pulled up to one of the prettiest buildings you’ve seen in Beverly Hills, and needless to say you were gobsmacked! It was white and incredibly modern: large glass windows, balconies, a fucking gigantic pool that you could see from the small walkway between the buildings. What the hell!

You and Ellie walked hand in hand all the way to the entrance and elevators, all the way up until you reached Isaiah’s apartment on the highest floor. 

You and Ellie could hear the commotion going on the closer you got to his place, Ellie banging on the front door with an excited jump. She turned you to plant a frantic kiss on your forehead, “You’re so hot, fuck— “

“WELCOME TO MY CRIIIB!” 

A very intoxicated Dylan practically ripped the door off the hinges, Casamigos—oh, god— bottle in hand and party hat on his head. Music boomed from behind him, and you caught a glimpse of Jesse and Dina making out by the fridge. 

This didn’t look… chill! 

You wondered if you were a bit overdressed: Arya told you to bring one thottie dress, show them titties! for when you went clubbing, and you didn’t want to waste dry-cleaning it. It was simple and black, but it hugged your curves and showed some cleavage. Everyone else seemed pretty casual, including Ellie, who wore a black tee and her usual ripped jeans. 

… She did have her Cuban links on, though. Fuck. 

“You don’t live here, prick. Move,” Ellie tightened her grip on your hand and pulled you past Dylan, but he hugged you anyway. You hugged him just as giddily. 

“Look who’s heeere!” Ellie said to her friends in reference to you. Isaiah and Marcus, who’d been taking their shots on the couch, turned to look at you, excitement taking over both their faces. 

They rushed over to hug you both, handing you and Ellie a shot of… battery acid. They really drink straight vodka! 

You watched Ellie down it with a light cringe, and you followed in her lead, the burn making you cough a little, before making your way towards the sofa. 

“Is that my babyyy!”

You immediately grinned at the voice. 

Dina walked towards you with the brightest smile, pulling you in for the tightest hug before pulling back to look at you in faux anger, “Why the hell didn’t you say hi when you came in!”

“Y’all looked busy!” you said, gesturing to a flushed Jesse standing behind Dina. “I didn’t wanna interrupt!” 

“C’mon, you know you’re more important than him— “ 

“What the fuck!” He yelled in playful offense. 

Everyone’s laughter quieted by a voice coming from the hallway, “What’re y’all laughing at?” 

Regine appeared with a bright smile as Dina wrapped her arms around her neck. 

Ellie was very transparent about their short past before you two reconnected, but you couldn’t help the small swirl of jealousy when she pulled Ellie in for a hug. You knew it was completely friendly—she literally hugged everyone, including you, the same way! — but you squeezed Ellie’s hand harder, anyway. You felt her squeeze back before she kissed it. 

You eyed the vodka bottle on the table. 

… One more shot wouldn’t hurt. 

I MIGHT SLAP A TRACKER ON HIS WHIP AND GET TO ADDIN’! —

Hours passed and this seventh shot was hurting, but you didn’t give a fuck as you swallowed it down. 21 was on!

Everyone was dancing everywhere: on the bar stools, on the couch, on the dining table, everywhere! Why did he have such a hard grip on your generation?!

Regine was throwing it back on Dina, and she was throwing it back on Jesse as he tried not to fall off the couch while you, Ellie, Dylan, and Marcus screamed out about all of you hoes from different parts of the kitchen. 

You were dancing to the best of your ability from your barstool, committing to the chair twerk as you poured another shot for yourself, some liquid spilling over the glass and onto the counter. You set the bottle down clumsily, but before you could reach for your drink, your girlfriend snuck up behind you, snatched it from the counter and downed it. You watched her hand set the glass down before you heard her mumble the lyrics in your ear as she gently kissed your neck. 

Your face was burning, and your pussy squeezed! How was she so fine! 

You felt her hands come up to massage your shoulders and it took everything in your body not to jump on her in front of everyone here. 

“Dance with me?” She mumbled against your cheek as she kissed it. 

“I suck at it,” you pouted jokingly. She smiled against your skin. 

“So?” She whispered and massaged you even deeper. Your eyes fluttered, and you felt her smile wider. 

She grabbed your hand and guided you up out of your chair, spinning you goofily before pulling you close. You laughed at her attempts at sweetheart dancing; this did not match the song at all! She even tried to dip you, but she stumbled, and you almost fell. You giggled harder. 

But then See Red came on… the building nearly rattled. 

You perked up instantly at the harsh beat as everyone jumped in the middle of the living room to form a circle, Isaiah and Marcus immediately getting sturdy on the slippery rug. 

You were so happy. 

Everything calmed down after the noise complaint from downstairs. 

You were cuddled up next to Dina as you watched everyone play Cards Against Humanity. 

“Step one: kissing grandma on the forehead and turning off her life support. Step two: having sex for the first time. Step three: profit?” Dylan slurred out as he slowly read his cards with furrowed brows before looking at everyone for approval. 

Ellie and Jesse were the only ones who giggled. Tough crowd!

“That was wack, next!” Isaiah said as he pointed at Jesse. 

You heard his voice as he read off the cards, but you couldn’t put together what he was saying as Ellie stared at you with dark eyes. She was nibbling on the skin of her index finger as she looked at your face, down to your chest, over your bare legs before trailing back up again. She was fucking ogling you, and it made your thighs squeeze. You watched her grin devilishly at your movements. 

“El, your turn,” Jesse said as he looked at her, but she held your gaze. 

“Not playin’,” she mumbled against her finger. 

They moved onto Dina, and you squirmed in your seat, your nails digging into the arm of the couch. She eyed your every move like a hawk before pulling out her phone. You watched her type before she looked back up at you, then your phone dinged in your pocket. 

You pulled it out and unlocked it.

hi :0

hiiii bab y

u ok

ye

needa eat u out

You froze before immediately looking up at her. You saw her thighs squeezing together like yours were, subtly squirming in her chair. She looked around the room with a pout before looking down at her phone to type.

like rn

im so hieny

hor ny u make me sososo hirny u looks o good 

needa fcuk u rn need ur cum i n my mouth 

we can’t drive r n well die 

don’t care just needa eat ur pussy

bathhroom? 

“You good, hon?” Dina asked softly, and you nodded. She patted your thigh before turning back to the loud group. 

fuckme pls lol

She got up abruptly before stumbling down the hall, presumably to the bathroom. How the fuck do you follow her without looking suspicious! They seemed distracted enough—

You stood on autopilot, and everyone turned to look at you. 

“… You good?” Isaiah asked with his brows furrowed. 

“Yeah! Yup, just want a… a shot! Gonna go’n… and get it!” You chuckled awkwardly before walking towards the kitchen. You heard Jesse snort from behind you before their chatter built back up. 

You eyed them cautiously as you poured yourself a glass. 

Just stand here for a little and go! Don’t bring attention to yourself! 

They were laughing hysterically as Regine yelled about how something wasn’t fair, and you scurried down the hall to the bathroom door. Just as you were about to open it, Ellie did, her breath heavy and face flushed. You looked at her lips once before you were yanked into the bathroom by your waist, the door closing behind you with a slam. You cringed at the loud noise, but Ellie didn’t care. She pressed you up against the door and kissed you deeply. Her tongue slid into your mouth as she lifted your dress up around your hips. 

“We’re leaving after this, gonna get a fucking Uber, I don’t care,” she mumbled against your mouth, and you nodded eagerly before reconnecting your lips. You grabbed her by her hips to pull her closer, unbuckling her belt and unbuttoning her jeans. She bucked into you as she kissed all over your neck. 

“Needa eat your pussy, baby,” she was sucking on your neck desperately. 

“Later, El, j-just do it later,” you heard her let out a whine of complaint before she nodded. You shoved your hand in her jeans and your fingers were instantly wet with her slick. Her hips bucked into your hand before she whimpered into your neck, bringing her hand up to rub your clit through your panties. 

You rubbed her slippery clit in fast circles as she breathed heavily in your ear, releasing small noises of pleasure. Her movements on you seemed like she was trying to keep up with your pace on her, but she was falling behind. You didn’t care, she was so cute when she got like this! 

“F-Fuck, mmh!” 

Ellie’s hand pulled away from you to prop up against the door to steady herself. She opened her legs wider when you slid your index and middle finger down to her entrance, your palm pressed into her clit as you slow pressed them in. Her wet, gooey walls cling to your digits, and you heard a slight smack against granite when her hand landed on the counter. 

You grinded your fingers in as you watched her jaw fall open, sweat glistening on her forehead and her cheeks red under the blue LED light. 

“Feels good? Okay?” She nodded slowly at your inquiries as she gasped, leaning forward to connect your lips. She shoved her tongue in your mouth as she squeezed your jaw. Her lips wrapped around your tongue to suck on it gently. You pressed your fingers deeper at her action, and she moaned brainlessly on the muscle in your mouth. You pulled back and let out a quick shhh!

She was practically riding your hand, grinding her hips back and forth as you craned your wrist to hit deeper. The tips of your fingers finally grazed that spot in her cunt, and her knees buckled. The noises she was making were increasing in volume, and your heartbeat was picking up in pace.

“Ellie, babe, be quiet, please,” You could feel her getting even wetter at your commands. Even though you were silently praying to not get caught, you couldn’t help the desire growing in your belly from Ellie’s eagerness. You made sure to grind in deeper.

“You’re gonna m-make me… cum really hard, I’m— “ 

“I know, baby, just— “

“I’m gonna scream, I can’t— “ 

You looked around quickly before grabbing the washcloth on the counter and shoving it in her mouth to cut off her frantic rambles. She didn’t protest, and you watched her eyes flutter as she moaned around the small towel. Her head plopped onto your shoulder, and you felt her body start to tense up, the squeezes of her walls getting stronger around you. 

Her muffled warnings of her orgasm were cut off when she wailed, her walls practically milking your fingers hard. You felt her calloused hand grab your wrist as she fucked down onto you. At some point, the towel dropped from her mouth, and you felt her teeth dig into your shoulder as she cried out, and you whined at the pain, more slick pooling in your panties. 

You fucked her through her orgasm until she started to relax against you, her choked gasps easing into satisfied sighs. 

You pulled your fingers out slowly to rub her clit, her grip on your wrists tightening as she whimpered a quick nonono against your skin. You snickered before removing your drenched fingers from her boxers. You gently kissed her head, and she lifted up. You held eye contact with her when you brought your fingers up to your mouth and sucked them clean. She bit her bottom lip before grabbing your hand to pull your fingers towards her mouth, mimicking your actions. You shuddered when you felt her tongue swirl around them before pulling back to kiss them. 

She pulled you closer by your bunched up dress and kissed you, her tongue messily gliding against yours. 

You felt her thumbs hook into the elastic of your panties before you pushed her away gently, “No, El, they probably fucking heard— “

“Don’t care— “

“Let’s just go,” you whispered as you grabbed her pouty face in both hands. “I’ve never… used a Hitachi before?” 

She instantly perked up at your suggestion, her eyes twinkling. She fixed her appearance in the mirror, adjusting her non-existent tie as you giggled to yourself. She ordered the Uber as you fixed your dress and washed your hands. She opened the door and led you out with her hand in yours. 

The minute you reentered the living room, everyone’s chatter quieted, and your heart sank. Your face burned intensely as you gazed at your friends, their smirks and quiet giggles making you hide behind Ellie. They definitely heard! 

“Hey, lovebirds,” Jesse muttered around a pretzel with a sly grin. 

“Don’t talk to me, we’re leaving in a little,” Ellie muttered as she blushed, and everyone laughed. 

“I’m sure y’all are, Uber?” Dina asked as Isaiah and Marcus snickered. You both nodded with your heads tilted downward. 

Neither of you said anything as you moved towards the barstools as you waited for the car. Ellie rested her head on your shoulder as you sat as she kissed the exposed skin. 

You saw Dina smile fondly at the two of you.

You tried to hide your smile, but you failed. 

The ride home felt excruciatingly long. 

Ellie couldn’t keep her hands off your legs, rubbing them up and down, grabbing them, trying to spread them even though you stopped her. You were not about to get frisky in this poor old man’s car! Reggie didn’t deserve that! 

You practically raced into the elevator, her lips immediately pressing to yours as you both smiled and laughed. 

She pulled you into the hallway when the elevator opened, clumsily unlocking her door before pulling you both inside. You pushed her against the door this time, your lips reconnected as she held you close.

Meowmeow! MEOW—

Ellie pulled away from you as her head thudded back against the door, “We’ll never know fucking peace— “

“Hiii, my love!” You immediately ran over to the crying kitty, picking her up from the floor and hugging her close. 

You pressed kisses all over her as you petted her head, and she purred in your arms. 

You watched Ellie refill her bowls and clean her litter before heading into her room. You put Duchess down and allowed her to eat and you followed Ellie into her room. She was in the middle of undressing, and you stared at her toned, bare back as she moved. She sat on the edge of her bed and propped herself up on her elbows, still clad in her boxers.

She stared at you as you shuffled shyly in the door frame, her Cuban dangling between her breasts and her hair mussed. 

She looked you up and down before whispering a soft c’mere.

You followed her instructions, gently shutting her door and removing your small purse from around you to place on her desk. You turned, met her fond eyes, and smiled. You pulled your dress over your head and tossed it to the floor, only clad in your bra and panties. Her eyes were filled with devotion and tenderness as she scanned your body. You felt like you were boiling. 

You slowly walked over to her, and she sat up, her hands grabbing your hips as she lightly kissed all over the skin of your tummy. You sighed happily as you ran your fingers through her hair. You bent down to kiss the top of her head. 

“Love you so much, baby,” she mumbled to you against your skin. 

“Love you more,” you gasped out when she reached out to squeeze your ass, planting kisses all over your thighs.

She hooked her thumbs into your damp panties and pulled them down your legs. You stepped out of them, and she pulled your thigh over her lap so you could straddle her. 

You pressed your lips to hers, and she released a soft sigh through her nose. You pushed her back, so she laid flat, your chest pressed to hers and she lightly scratched her nails down your back. You grinded down on her lap when dug her nails in slightly. 

She pecked your lips one last time before her head plopped back down, a wide grin on her face as she whispered to you, “Still wanna use the wand?” 

You nodded before kissing her again. She grabbed your ass in her hand before patting it lightly, ushering you to lift up slightly so she could wiggle under you. She moved up the bed as you crawled on top of her until her head rested on the pillows. 

You unclasped your bra and tossed it as she rummaged through her drawer, pulling out the wireless, white toy and handing it to you. “Hold that for a sec.” 

She clumsily pulled her boxers halfway down her thighs. You curiously pressed the first of three buttons, and the entire toy rattled strongly in your hand. Oh.

“… Damn.” 

She giggled quietly, “Mhm, there’s a bunch of other settings. Here.” 

You held the toy out to her. She pressed the button underneath the first, and it immediately started pulsing. She pressed it again and the pulses slowed. 

“See which ones you like,” she brought her arm behind her head to rest while the other one massaged your tits softly. 

“Where’s the… slower ones,” you huffed shyly. 

She pressed the second button three times, and the steady pulses ran all the way up your arm. You sighed at the sensations. 

“Like that?” she whispered to you, and you shrugged. 

“Think so.” 

“Take your time.” 

She patiently rubbed your hip as you brought the large bulb of the toy to your tits. Your hips jerked every time it shook against your nipple, small gasps leaving your lips. You looked at her, and your pussy squeezed on top of hers. 

Her nipples were hard, and her eyes were black, but she made no effort to touch you. She just watched in curious silence. 

You brought your free hand up to massage your other breast, and your eyes shut as you grinded on her. 

“You’re so pretty,” you heard her gasp out, her hands digging into your thighs. 

Your cheeks ignited further, “So are you.” 

You grinded down harder on her, and she bucked up against you. Your slick mixed with hers as your breaths increased. 

Your eyes opened and you changed the setting, the pulses increasing slightly. You brought the toy down to her nipple, she immediately started squirming under you, her eyelids quivering. 

You played with her other nipple, and she mewled. You pressed the button, and the timed thrums intensified. She moaned aloud. 

“Okay?”

She nodded at you quickly as she slurred, “It’s s’good, shit.” 

You leaned down to peck her lips before kissing down her neck, sucking into the skin that made her shiver. You missed down her chest before taking her unoccupied nipple in your mouth, pressing the toy deeper into the other. You flicked your tongue around the bud before sucking on it vigorously. 

“Feels like m’gonna cum,” you heard her gasp out in warning above you, surprise evident in her voice. 

“Really?” you released her nipple in shock. Your walls squeezed eagerly at the thought.

“I… I dunno? I’ve never cum like this.” 

“You wanna?” 

“Want you to c-cum with me.” 

“Okay, baby,” and you kissed her nose before moving the toy away from her. She tried to catch her breath. 

You clicked the button, and the toy instantly shook from the powerful vibrations; It made you jump. Ellie released a choked laugh, “That one’s the hardest.” 

“… Oh.” 

She smirked before whispering like she was sharing her dirtiest secret, “It makes me squirt.” 

You hummed at the information, and she giggled. You pressed the second one and the pulses built up again. 

Her chuckles eased into sighs when you placed the shaking silicone between both your pussies, you and your girlfriend’s clits smooshing the toy. You both sighed in unison as the feeling shook your core.

Ellie moaned out your name, “Fuck, shit, baby.”

You felt her legs twisting underneath you, her nails scratching the meat of your ass. 

She was whining your name out, and you knew she was close. “I’m g’na cuuum— “

“Cum for me, Ellie,” you shakily cooed at her. 

She was crying out uh huhs before her entire body locked up underneath you, her hand slamming into her mattress to grasp her sheets before she let out a pleased squeal. You watched her orgasm rock through her: her eyes were rolled back, freckled cheeks a deep red, her sweaty chest rising up and down with every harsh breath. You’ll never get over how beautiful she is. 

You pressed the third button and Ellie nearly curled in on herself. 

Your eyes rolled back as your orgasm built quickly in your gut, your walls clenching tightly.

“Choke me, baby, pleasepleasefuck— “

You carefully wrapped your hand around her throat and squeezed the sides like she does to you, and her eyes crossed in her skull. Her hand wrapped around your wrist to hold you there. 

She wheezed with glossy eyes, “M’gonna cum so fucking hard— “

“C-Cum on me, El, please— “

She breathed in a deep gasp, “I’m cummingm’cumming!—“

She screamed out, and you felt a splash of wetness between your legs, and it triggered your own orgasm. 

Your hand dropped from her neck to catch yourself as you fell forward, your body shaking on top of her as tears filled your eyes. Your clit jumped on the silicone as slick left your entrance, your walls clenching tight around nothing. Ellie was sobbing under you as more of her cum landed on the mattress, leaving a hefty puddle on her blankets. 

It felt like your orgasm lasted minutes before overstimulation rocked through you, your legs trying to shut around the toy. Ellie grabbed your wrist to pull the toy from between your bodies, tossing the juddering object somewhere on the bed. Your body twitched on hers, the aftershocks rocking through you as you rested on her. 

You felt Ellie quivering under you, and you looked up slowly to check on her. She dreamily stared at the ceiling as she caught her breath. 

“O-kay?” You asked brokenly. 

She only nodded before kissing your head. 

You plopped back onto her in exhaustion. 

After you both regathered your strength, you changed the linen and showered. 

Ellie was laying on your bare chest as you massaged her scalp. 

“… El?”

She hummed. 

“I’m gonna try’n talk to her again.”

“Want me there with you?” she asked immediately, and your heart fluttered with gratitude. 

“No, babe,” you stared intensely at the ceiling, “just wanted to let you know that I have to tell her everything.”

She didn’t say anything immediately, but she kissed your chest gently in comfort. 

“I love you.” 

Tears jerked in your eyes. 

“I love you, too.” 

Your sister set her phone down on the pillow next to her. She sighed heavily before shutting her eyes.

When your mom told her you were in California, she didn’t know how to react. She didn’t react, she only listened. 

She listened to your mother’s voice as she explained the ventures you and her were on, sending her the pictures you sent your mother of the beaches, sunsets, and fireworks. 

She couldn’t ignore the concern that bloomed in her chest when your mother told her you talked to your therapist recently: were you okay? How were you behaving? You hadn’t been in years, and she was scared that she triggered something deep within you. 

But when she only heard good news of you and your thriving social life, she was… confused. Your sister had been living on autopilot for months: get up, go to work, smoke, sleep. Everyday since you fought. How were you suddenly so… normal? So happy? What were you on? She’s never heard of you being this bright since you were a toddler. 

Her suspicions were confirmed about you and Ellie, though. She knew your instinctive need to defend her hinted at something deeper. Were the two of you dating, now? Most likely. How did she feel about it? She wasn’t sure, yet. 

For the longest time, all your sister had was you. She was the one you called when she was happy, depressed, anxious, in love, and you never complained. You always showed up to support her without fail, and she couldn’t help but feel guilty that she wasn’t extending that same courtesy to you, especially now that you were at your most radiant. 

When Isaiah mentioned you on their phone call saying how much you missed her and wished she were there, her heart dropped, and her regret began to set in. You were still thinking about her after all this time? Even with all this animosity between you two? 

… Did Ellie still hate her? Or had you been correct about her wanting to apologize? Did she ruin any chance for reconciliation with her harsh temperament? 

She missed you tremendously. 

And she finally accepted that she missed Ellie just the same. 

She opened the text messages between the two of you, and tears jerked in her eyes at the last one you sent. 

She typed as her hands trembled. 

come see me when you get back? 

Her tears fell at your almost instantaneous response. 

of course 

She sobbed herself to sleep that night as shame and yearning consumed her. 

one more pt to go :(

hi lil taglist love yall so bad :3 @fandomshitpostingqueen, @elsivy , @nymphetkoo, @sawaagyapong , @amitycat, @nil-eena , @onallfoursforellie, @letsreadsomesins-shallwe , @gold-dustwomxn

last pt :(.

[greedyhoneyz]

Bring Me My Sunshine

.ೃ࿔*:･pairing: dad!kylian mbappé x reader

.ೃ࿔*:･synopsis: when the bitter night brings pain, the morn brings sunshine.

.ೃ࿔*:･cw: angst. inaccurate narration of childbirth. brief mention of blood. fluff.

.ೃ࿔*:･authors note: i got my writing mojo back! anon requested a part two/sequel to we’ll get there soon, so here it is. this imagine makes me feel very delusional. didn’t proofread this. there’s one more formal request ive got to write before i start on anything new, so that may take a while depending on how my brain decides to function during this writing period.

In the embrace of deep shadows and a bitter night breeze, the house breathed deep and long. 

The walls were cold, the floors brittle as (name) wadded on her feet. She whined her hips, hunching over her knees and glared down at the specs of greys and blacks that made out her wet feet.

She hissed, pressing a careful hand to her abdomen and tremor to the thundering strike flaring her insides. She squeezed her eyes shut and heaved heavily through her nostrils, sweltering. 

An unsuspecting agony consumed (name). It tortured her insides, scoring her with mars of anguish before departing, only to return for more in a moment’s second. Her stomach tightened and though she felt an impulse to screech, (name) held her lips together, fearing her impulses would disturb her partner. She was petrified, confused, and fell to a row of tears. Her upper lip was soiled with snot, her cheeks stained with tears as her cries resounded through the hallway. 

Hunched on her knees, (name) stood still with the hope her pain would soon subside, and yet, after a few moments of relief, the anguish that once tormented her insides returned, now more potent. Much too weak, (name) moved to the floor, laying on her side, and cocooned into the warmth of her oversized t-shirt, wallowing in her pain sullenly. She closed her eyes, trembling and took on her torture between broken sobs. 

“...(name)?” Kylian’s shaky voice filled the empty hallway. With wide eyes, he stood, terror sucking the very breath from his mouth as a cold breeze embaled him, raising the fine hairs on the back of his neck. The pulsating of his heart throbbed in his ears, loud and irregular, blocking out all other sounds.  

Taking small steps, Kylian walked towards (name). His trembling hands hovered just above her skin, afraid to touch her as she ushered her eyes open, mewling a cry of pain. She wept and begged as Kylian snuffed his arms beneath her head, lifting her into the embrace and warmth of his chest and arms. 

He held her, his palm kneading her side as she spluttered words of defeat between hisses of agony. She managed a whisper before succumbing to her pain, her sweaty and balmy hand clutched her stomach. “It…hurts...so bad.”

A shiver washed over Kylian as he watched (name) fidget and squirm. She was soiled from the bottom down, her pyjama pants stained. Her large, oversized t-shirt hung over her low belly, veiled the hysteria churning within (name). It was excruciating for her, the thunderous strikes that sweltered her rendered her helpless, and it terrified him. And yet, despite the confusion, Kylian finally understood that this nighttime terror meant one thing.

Birth.

With each contraction came a recurring pain that dominated (name’s) entire body. And though her surroundings had changed; an ambulance and a group of antsy paramedics, (name) still sweltered with unease. 

She hobbled upwards on the soles of her feet and held herself against the wall as her one free hand reached for her thigh. She pressed her forehead against the wall, staining her head with splatters of white paint, and ogled down at the gap between her legs. 

Hanging on his knees, Kylian balanced himself beside (name). He was uneasy, his hands clammed with sweat as he soothed circles across his partner’s back, in an effort to ease both the worry hammering against his chest and the fret that fogged (name’s) mind. 

Letting out a guttural grunt, (name) ushered her eyes shut. She drew her eyebrows together, her forehead creasing, and gnawed at her bottom lip as the urge to push washed over her. She wobbled on her two feet, pushing as hard as she could, and puffed through her nostrils as pressure grew between her legs.

She squalled, tumbling into the wall, only to hear the comforting cheers of congratulations and a newborn shriek. 

Their daughter, so tiny and so frail, was bloody and coated sickly purple. Her cries reaped signs of youth and hunger as she finicked, wriggling her little fingers and curling her toes. She’s swaddled, cocooned into a white towel and handed to (name). Her wobbly head rests against her chest, her deafening mewls beginning to settle as both (name) and Kylian peered down at their newborn with splendour and pride. 

From the soft and generous curls of a quilted blanket came their daughter’s angelic face, peaking outward as if she knew some secret that sparked night and day.

She laid asleep, bundled by the hushed tone of the early morn, and held her mittened hand to her face with her tiny lips pulled into a pout.

Her mother and father, Kylian and (name), watched over, in awe, as her chest rose and fell, her noiseless breaths filling the air. Enamoured smiles brushed their faces, Kylian’s hand gingerly trailing the side of her head,

He slowly brought his head closer to her face and stared fondly at the sudden flare of her little nose and the frown pulled by her lips.

He puckered his lips and lightly feathered a kiss to her cheek. His kiss, filled with warmth and love, turns her cheeks flush as his hands manoeuvred to her head and bottom. They curled beneath her, sculpting into her quilt and lifted her with little effort.

His daughter, so tiny and frail, stirred and mewled, her whimper sounding a warning before she settled, lulling to the familiar scent of citrus and lavender.

In his arms, she laid, her soft breath bristling against the hairs on his arms, her teeny feet peeking beneath the legs of her onesie. He watched her quietly, rocking his arms in a gentle motion as (name), though exhausted, looked on from over his shoulder.

The couple were lovesick. Their newfound love— a tiny human, a little girl enrobed in a blanket of their adoration and bliss.

[blasphemecel]

Michael Kaiser — Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy

PAIRING: Michael Kaiser/Reader WORD COUNT: 1.3k TYPE: Angst, Post-break up WARNING(S): Don't read if you're sensitive to medical stuff, also tw for KAISER-TYPICAL MELODRAMA

“Are you fucking kidding me? That just sounds made up.”

“Sir,” the doctor, who’s been having to deal with Kaiser acting like the hospital is a debate club for the past fifteen minutes, says. Then he lets out a sigh and pinches the bridge of his nose. In all honesty, he does not want to deal with this. “While there’s an existing argument about the classification of broken heart syndrome, it is a real thing that happens. And you have it as we’ve deduced.”

“I don’t have health problems,” Kaiser says. Of course, those words fly out of his mouth without trouble even when Ness had to call an ambulance on him and everything, since he looked like he was on the brink of death today at practice. “Much less from bullshit reasons like a broken heart.”

“You don’t need to take it literally. That’s just the name. The trigger for the stress varies from case to case.”

Kaiser hopes his defensive statement didn’t reveal anything too personal, and decides to throw off any suspicion by staring down at his lap while frowning like a kid who got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. At least the doctor doesn’t seem to care because he’s not prying for unnecessary details. Not yet, anyway.

“For how long have you been ignoring the symptoms?”

“I haven’t been ignoring anything,” Kaiser says.

Sure, he was dizzy a few (many) times and short of breath, and disregarded it. And while he can sense the tightness and pain in his chest each time, a recurring physical and tangible ache, Kaiser interprets the experience as some kind of metaphor for the figurative stabbing he was a victim of. The arrhythmia is a natural indignant response to whenever your irritating face pops up in his imagination, since you’re the perpetrator.

All this over some shitty break up. While it’s stupid for someone whose career is in sports to shrug off such obvious signs, until today Kaiser never truly thought it was serious enough to warrant such an overreaction from his body. You shouldn’t have this much power over him. He’s going to kill you next time he sees you for doing this to him.

He’s deep in denial and the grave he’s been digging with his stupid lies is shallow in contrast, inefficient. Can’t even deceive himself.

“It’s most common in people over fifty.”

Kaiser rolls his eyes. “Thanks. I really needed to hear that.”

“What I’m saying is, I assume you’ve been ignoring this for some time and it escalated to a bad attack. So, do you recall if you’ve gone through severe stress recently? Anything traumatizing even, either physically or mentally? When was it? If you could be exact, that’d be helpful.”

Traumatizing? Traumatizing? Is this man fucking kidding him right now?

Kaiser stares at the doctor as if he’s the stupidest person alive. Forget a person, he is a bug for such a suggestion. Through grit teeth, he relents, “There was something two weeks ago. By the way, it wasn’t traumatizing! That’s ridiculous.”

What’s even more absurd is the notion Kaiser wouldn’t know how much time has passed with perfect accuracy. Fourteen days he hasn’t been sleeping well, hugging his pillow and crying like a loser, cursing you, wanting you back, both a worshipper and a heretic.

What was he feeling at that moment, when you broke things off? Was it overwhelming anger which got him to this point? Though he’s been reliving the moment over and over, Kaiser still can’t identify it. Just something intense zapping him through his veins, a devastating shock, a surge of adrenaline. But surely it was resentment at your audacity to throw him away like disposable trash? He doesn’t like the thought that he’s been so pathetically sad, he got sick because of it, so this is what he’ll go with.

Thinking about it is enough to make him start picking at the skin on his neck like he’s trying to peel the ink off. It’s almost vile. At least he retains the common sense not to squeeze it in front of a medical professional who can send him away to a psych ward with ease.

The doctor, too, looks at Kaiser like he is an insane person. Good thing they pay him enough for this — otherwise, he doesn’t know how he’d deal with having a strange man with a bizarre haircut give him attitude over his diagnosis when it should be reserved for his barber or whoever is responsible.

“Two weeks ago, okay,” he says, writing it down. “Lucky for you, this is temporary and reversible unlike most other things we checked you for. You’ll be fine in about two months with the treatment.”

“So, like I thought, it’s not a big deal. I can still play football, right? Don’t need to lay off or anything?” Kaiser asks.

The doctor sighs. Again. He wants to measure the circumference, thickness and density of Kaiser’s skull. “You’re not listening,” he says, clearly exasperated, but still trying to exert patience. “Your heart is weak and not functioning properly at the moment. You can’t immediately jump back into living the way you usually do. It’s still serious no matter what you say and it can cause complications.”

Kaiser makes an annoyed expression like this is all one big inconvenience rather than a threat to his quality of life. “Are you serious? You’ve got to be shitting me.”

“I’m honored you seem to think I’m a hilarious comedian, sir, since this is your nth time asking, but it’s not the case,” he says levelly.

“Don’t get clever with me.”

A sharp inhale through the nose and the doctor’s back on track, maintaining a feeble grasp on his inner peace, at least enough not to snap. Then, after this brief recollection, he reaches out to grab something, then holds it up. It’s a picture that looks either like an abortion-to-be or a black and white photo of lasagna… maybe. “This is your heart.”

Kaiser almost forgot about the ultrasound or whatever since he was strung out and sedated- relaxed throughout that whole ordeal. At the sight of it now, always theatrical, he decides the best course of action is to wrinkle his nose and say ‘eww,’ even though he’s not squeamish. But treating the matter seriously means admitting he has a problem, and he can’t have that.

The doctor pretends he can’t hear anything and points at the relevant area with his finger to illustrate the crux of the matter better. “You have apical ballooning. Do you get it? Even if it’s temporary, you can’t treat it lightly. So-”

Kaiser tunes out the rest of the explanation. Blah, blah, he could harm himself, very original. His gaze is stuck on the echocardiogram, though, and this time he’s nauseous for real, the tiniest bit. It strikes him as particularly ugly and deformed. Organs are repulsive to begin with, anyway, but this… thing is his, and he’s seeing it now. In any case, nothing so disgusting is worth loving or treating with care.

Is this how you’ve come to see him? What does Kaiser look like in your eyes? Ugly and maladjusted on the inside? Someone who likes laughing at other people’s misery, but can’t take even the slightest puncture? So out of touch with his emotions — and of his own volition —, he’s started experiencing them in the most visceral way possible. His desire for you: torment, a disease.

Would you find him dramatic? Maybe, but at least you’d make him laugh and smile and anything else his troubled mind has decided he needs at the moment, from you alone. Doesn’t matter, though. He’s not privy to that kind of thing, not anymore.

There’s a sting in his eyes and Kaiser wipes away his tears with a hasty swipe, though a few more stream down his cheeks. He doesn’t even know what he’s crying about again.

The doctor observes the display with the distanced apathy of someone who’s watched people die and shit themselves.

He gets discharged with a prescription and elaborate instructions on how to go about his physical activities until it’s deemed he’s fully healed at the later check-ups.

Great. Pitiful.

___

What's funny is that Y/n's probably having a good day while all this is going on

[reyalvr]

Hi! I've had this idea simmering for a bit - could you possibly do an angsty enemies-to-lovers Aonung x fem Sully reader where they're veryyyy much enemies but during the demon ship battle, either one of reader's close friends/family members (could be neteyam or someone else) is dying and they ask aonung to not let reader look. She's freaking out and losing it and he's just trying to comfort her, hug her, calm her down, etc. Hope this isn't too specific - do with it what you wish :) tysm

ASHES ON FIRE.

୨⎯ in which peace is luxury that you cannot afford.  ⎯୧

genre┊ angst, slight e2l & comfort, one-shot

pairing┊ao’nung x fem-sully!reader (? help), a little (lot) bit of brother!neteyam & fem-sully!reader as well

wordcount┊2.9k

warnings┊major movie spoilers, death 

author’s note┊ finally doing this request! i’ve been wanting to write it for a while now but i was so focused on ITMOIA <//3 hope i did this justice, anon! i had to rewatch the demon ship scene a couple times so i could stay true to the story, so apologies if i messed up a bit on the prompt you gave me T^T.

song recs ┊ na'vi attack, the bug collector.

The sky people say that ignorance is strength. That if you were numb enough to your surroundings, nothing would be able to break you; that nothing would matter so long as you didn’t feel anything. 

They were wrong.

It had all happened so fast – all of you riding out the moment you realized that your siblings were in danger, the war party attacking the RDA the second Payakan had seized the demon ship. Against your father’s orders, you had jumped on your ikran as fast as you could, flying all the way to Three Brother’s Rocks. 

You had no plan, only focused on saving your family. You soared swiftly through the clouds, drawing your bow each time you came in contact with an enemy ship. You had lost count of how many times you had shot something into the sea – it didn’t matter to you anymore. 

Chaos had struck all around you; everywhere you turned, you saw war. The Great Balance wasn’t present here, this was a place of loss. You yelled as you narrowly missed the shots fired from a gunship, and you retaliated by shooting an arrow into its propellers.

You were running on pure adrenaline, your mind clouded with only one thought: save your siblings. It was a recurring voice in the back of your head, and it seemed to jolt you back into focus every time you felt your nerves start to calm down. You hissed as you flew near the water now, aiming for any of the boats that shot at the clan. 

For a split second you were able to catch a glimpse of yourself in the water. You were terrifying. Your eyes had gone completely wide, pupils so constricted to the point where they were almost gone. The sneer on your lips didn’t aid in making you look less terrorizing; you were absolutely feral.

You didn’t linger on your appearance for too long, though,  as you had come in contact with one of the avatars, their bullets slightly grazing your shoulder. You yelped as you banked hard in order to get away from them, your adrenaline the only thing stopping you from feeling any immediate pain. 

It stung, bad, as you drew your bow, aiming directly for their heart. You let go without a moment’s hesitation, watching as the demon slid off of his ikran and into the water. You yelled in fury, your mind still unable to process your recent actions. 

Your ears perked up at the sound of rapid gunfire to your side, your eyes growing even wider as you recognized the electric blue colors of your mother’s ikran. You turned sharply, almost hitting the side of the ship as you willed your banshee to get to your mother’s position. 

“Mom!” You yelled, bow drawn as you aimed for another one of the demons. 

Her head turned instantly at the sound of your voice, her face blanketed in fear and worry. She had no time to scold you for being on the battleground, her attention concentrated on ambushing the sky people. 

You watched as your arrow soared straight into the avatar’s chest, his limp body plunging into the water like bait. The pain in your shoulder had started to make itself known again, yet you pushed forward in battle. You weren’t gonna let a minor injury get in the way of your rescue mission. 

Though, your streak of undefeated shots had to be ended sooner or later. You hadn’t seen the boat from underneath you, and they landed a shot to your ikran’s leg. You heard her screech, and the both of you rapidly barreled into the ocean. 

“[Y/N]!” You heard your mother yell before you were surrounded by water. 

Your ikran, though injured, had been able to pull herself out of the water and fly to safety. You quickly followed, gasping for air as you swam to the surface. You didn’t waste any time in finding land, and you moved fast in order to get cover. 

You were vulnerable now to the enemy’s attacks, no longer having the advantage of being in the air or wielding a bow. You leaned against the rocks, looking out for gunships while simultaneously catching your breath. The weight of fatigue was starting to hit you now, and you feared that your body would soon succumb to the exertion you had put yourself through. 

The battle prayer to Eywa rang in your head, the words of the Great Mother slowly pushing you to move forward. Tirea oeyä maway livu, Ma Eywa. Calm my spirit, Eywa.

You groaned, your eyes closed as you forced yourself to stand. All hope was not lost, as in the distance you spotted the familiar dark blue of your sister’s skin. You called for an ilu and dove quickly, swimming as fast as you could to Kiri and the others. 

“Kiri!” You yelled as you neared them, your heart pounding in relief. 

She turned, her eyes recognizing you as soon as she saw you. “Sister!” 

Your reunion with her would not be now, however, as an ikran had plucked her up right in front of you before you’d even been able to wrap your arms around her. You yelled, your voice nearly going hoarse, and whatever tiredness your body felt was soon melted away by the bubbling rage within you. 

“No!” You screamed, and you moved to chase after her but were stopped by an iron grip around your arm.

You hissed as you turned to face whoever was stopping you from saving your sister. Ao’nung pulled you in, his eyes scanning over your face as he tried to tell you to fall back. You stood now on the remnants of a destroyed boat, though you would much rather be on your way to hunt whoever had stolen your sister from you. 

“Let me go!” You yelled at the Metkayinan boy, your other hand coming up to yank his hold off of you. “I need to get to the demon ship, now!”

“And let you die?” He argued back. “No, I won’t allow it.”

“Who the hell do you think you are?” You spat, your tone as venomous as your stare. “Who are you to decide that for me?”

“That does not matter! I will not let you go in there unarmed!” He fought back, both of his hands now gripping your forearms. 

You hissed at him again, your body on the brink of lashing out. Was he out of his mind? Your siblings were in danger, now more than ever. He could not keep you here, you weren’t going to allow it. You thrashed, exerting yourself to the max as you tried to free yourself from his hold. 

“[Y/N], please,” Rotxo spoke up, his expression filled with concern. “Ao’nung is right, it is too dangerous for you to go in there alone!”

“I do not care!” You roared. “Kiri was just taken, right before our eyes! If I do not get to her now she could die! What don’t you understand about that?”

They flinched at your voice, and that gave you the opportunity to finally free yourself from Ao’nung. Your head whipped in his direction, your glare shooting daggers into his skull. He moved to grab you again, but you were swift in avoiding his movements. You were about to jump back into the water and swim to the demon ship before you caught sight of someone from your peripheral. 

You turned, your breath hitching as you watched your brothers hastily guide an ilu to a desolate island. You didn’t have to say another word before the three of you swam hurriedly to them, your legs burning as you forced yourself to move faster. 

You climbed up the rocks, not caring if your knees and palms were scrapped by the jagged edges. You opened your mouth to call out to them, but stopped as soon as you registered the scene in front of you. Your heart dropped, and you could feel yourself shake as emotion after emotion overwhelmed your body.

On the ground lay Neteyam, his body jerking as he fought to maintain his breath. There was a scarlet wound on his chest, blood continuously leaking out of him as Lo’ak did his best to stop it from flowing any further. You nearly lost balance as you dropped down, holding your brother’s head away from the hard rock and onto your lap.

“What happened?” You demanded, your eyes frantically examining his current state. “What happened?”

“‘Was shot,” Neteyam murmured, the action clearly taking a toll on him. 

“Shut up, damnit,” You hissed at him, your tone fluctuating from anger to concern to fear. “Do not exert yourself for Eywa’s sake!” 

“We went back for Spider,” Lo’ak said to you as he continued to put pressure on your brother’s wound. “Neteyam he- he got,” 

He was panicking now, his breath coming in short. You were trying your best to remain sane, though the situation you were in only aided in making you feel worse. Your sisters were being held hostage by those demons, and now your worst fear had suddenly come to life. 

Your mouth went dry as you tried to focus, your ears ringing from the forced concentration. You couldn’t think straight, and the inconsistent beat of your heart was preventing you from doing anything precisely. Somewhere in the distance you heard your mother and father, their cries of panic suddenly filling the grief-stricken atmosphere. 

You had no time to acknowledge them though, as you were solely focused on Neteyam’s condition. There was blood – so much blood that you started to feel lightheaded from the sight. Your hands had come up behind his back, your palms covering the exit point of his wound. 

The sky above you was grey, the bright blues no longer gracing Awa’atlu. Eclipse was near, and the smoke around you had only added to the lifelessness of the Great Mother’s land. Your brother still struggled to maintain his breath, his pupils dilating more and more the harder he tried to remain conscious. 

You couldn’t think, you couldn’t speak. Your body was operating on auto-pilot, your mind blocking out as many distractions as it could. You hung your head low, feeling hot tears starting to form. You prayed every prayer to Eywa, begging her to spare your brother. It could not be his time yet; it would be too cruel. 

Your father’s hand came up to cup your brother’s face, and you had never seen him more broken in your entire life. Neteyam was begging now, begging to go home. Your real home. Home to the fortress of the Omatikaya, home to the forests of Eywa, home to his family. 

“I know, I know,” You father breathed out, the pain in his heart spreading to his expression. “It’s okay, we’re going home.”

Neteyam looked around him now, his eyes darting from one person to another. His gaze landed on you before he spoke up, his voice so weak that it broke your heart.

“Dad, I,” He finally let out. 

You waited for him to finish his sentence. You waited for what felt like an eternity. You waited and waited and waited. But his reply never came, only the deathly silence of loss filling his being. You didn’t want to believe it. It was not right, this loss. 

You blinked slowly, your breath so slow that it felt like someone had knocked you over. Your mind had registered Neteyam’s death almost instantly, but your heart – oh Eywa, your heart. Your heart was heavy, filled with so much sorrow that it nearly broke you. 

Your world had shifted the moment your brother passed, and it felt wrong. Neteyam’s spirit was with the Great Mother now; you couldn’t battle anyone for his soul back, couldn’t bargain with any Tsahik for more time. He was gone. 

Your mother wailed the moment she realized your brother had passed, and her screams of agony pierced your heart the same way his death had. You felt your shoulder slump, your hands slipping from your brother’s back as you no longer tried to stop the bleeding. 

Your auto-pilot had been switched then, the reality of your world crashing in on you. You felt like you were about to break, like you were about to shatter into a million pieces. Your head was spinning, so much to the point where you nearly fell as you slightly backed away from your brother’s lifeless body. 

Your sweet, beautiful, kind-hearted big brother was gone. You felt like you were a child again, waiting for Neteyam to tell you that this was all just a nightmare. Eclipse had finally set, the world around you going dark as the fires continued to blaze. 

Your family was frantic now, your father trying to get your mother to stay strong, Lo’ak disassociating from the world around him. You cried then, cried like you would never be able to cry again. You placed your forehead against your brother’s cold one, your screams scratching your throat. 

You cried out for Neteyam, cried out for your mighty brother. He was the glue that held your family together, and without him you didn’t know how any of you would be able to live on. The others just watched over you as you sobbed, their eyes so full of pity. 

You didn’t care if they saw you as weak now, you were hurting so badly. May Eywa never let them experience this kind of loss, because you could feel a piece of you dying alongside your brother the longer you continued to cry. You felt a pair of hands come up on your shoulders, and you tried to push them away with whatever might you had left in you. 

“[Y/N],” You heard Ao’nung say, his calloused hands still gentle with you as you continued to break down. “[Y/N] you must rest.”

You lifted your head, finally seeing that your family, as well as Spider, had disappeared. You looked at Tsireya, and the look in her eyes had told you everything you needed to know. Stay here, please, her gaze said. 

You took a deep breath in, and it felt like you were breathing again for the first time. You wanted to go against whatever orders your father had told them to give you, but you knew that acting rashly would only worsen things for you. So you stayed, glued to your brother’s side as you mourned your loss.

Ao’nung had not left your side either, his worriedness for your wellbeing keeping him attentive. You couldn’t tell if he was doing this to help your father or if he was doing this to keep you from going insane, but still it gave you a sense of comfort – however cruel it might be to long for it during this time. 

He didn’t say anything to you, only rubbing your shoulders to keep you grounded and aware. If this had been any other situation, you would have already distanced yourself from him. You and Ao’nung weren’t friends, though you weren’t exactly horrible towards each other either. Either way, you didn’t feel the urge to yell at him to go away; instead his presence soothed you, slowly getting you to calm your nerves. 

You leaned into him, and he took you in with open arms. Though your heart was still heavy, your body had seeked the warmth that it desperately needed. He matched his breathing with yours, aiding to quell the tensenes of your body. 

You watched as Tsireya and Rotxo tried to clean up whatever they could off of your brother’s body, their movements light and gentle. You held his cold hand, your hands coming up to close his eyes. He looked peaceful now, as if he were just resting.

You would have believed so, had it not been for his dried blood on your hands. Your bottom lip quivered, and you closed your eyes once more as you fought to stay composed. 

You felt Ao’nung’s thumb rubbing circles on your arm, his other hand clasped around your free hand. This was an intimate gesture between mated people, you knew, but you didn’t care. His comfort gave you an escape from the harsh realities of life. You felt yourself drifting off, your body too tired to remain awake. 

“Sleep if you want to,” Ao’nung whispered. “You and your brother are safe here.”

You sniffled slightly as you nodded your head, your eyes heavy from crying. “I must pray over him first. I must protect him this one last time.”

He only nodded, still keeping his arms around you as you brought Neteyam’s hand up to your heart. 

“Oel ngati kameie, ma tsmukan, ulte ngaru seiyi irayo. Ngari hu Eywa salew tirea, tokx 'ì'awn slu Na'viyä hapxì.” You said in a hushed tone, the others bowing their heads as you recited the death prayer.

I see you, brother, and I thank you. Your spirit will run with Eywa, while your body will remain and become part of the People.

You leaned back into Ao’nung, your hand finally clasping around his as well. You squeezed his hand, tilting your head slightly to look at him. You closed your eyes, bowing your head to him. 

“I see you.” You whispered. 

He held you closer, his voice the last thing you heard before slumber had taken over your body. “I see you.”

reyalvr © 2023 ... do not repost, alter, or steal my work.

tags┊@chunghaaaa, @kiris-wife, @8resa, @avatarkv, @urlocalkeemawearingartist

[oneshotnewbie]

Hi, i was wondering if you would write one about Amelia Shepherd as your foster mom or motherly sister - you have anorexia and she is admitting you to the psych ward against your will. meredith is there to support her and you.

Authors note: I'm sorry there wasn't a new story yesterday, but I had another recurring episode of a migraine and it really weighed me down.

ᕚ---ᕘ

In the dark corridor of the psychiatric hospital, the footsteps of the neurosurgeon and the general surgeon echoed as the two hesitantly walked towards the closed door of your temporary stay, Meredith's arm reassuringly placed on the brunette's shoulder. The dim beam of light from the bulb above the door was the only glow at the end of the dark hallway, reflected off the peeling walls. Amelia's heart was pounding in her chest as she gripped the cold metal handle of the door that separated you from her.

She slowly opened the door and entered the room, which was filled with a diffuse light from the bedside lamp. "Hey, sweetheart. I have brought you a visitor," she spoke to you calmly, scrunching her nose as the smell of disinfectant and suppressed suffering crawled into her sinuses. In the corner of the room you sat, curled up on your bed with your legs pulled up to your chest. "Go away, I do not want to see you," you spoke, your gaze was empty, your eyes seemed tired and expressionless as a faint shadow of past joy of life crossed your face.

Amelia hesitated for a moment before approaching the bed. Her hand shook as she gently took your hand. She felt the cold of your skin and the pressure of your fingers weakly recoil and move away from her, sliding further into the corner. Tears welled up in her eyes as she carefully backed away even though she just wanted to hold on to your hand and cling to it so as not to fall into the abyss herself. "Please, y/n.. I love you and missed you," she began to speak quietly, Amelia's words full of pain and desperation. "and you know that bringing you here was the only right decision,"

You were trapped in your world, your sister´s words seeming opaque and incomprehensible as she spoke of the constant fear that tormented her when you stopped eating in your dark hours and were no longer the person she once knew. "You dragged me here and left me with strangers who were supposed to help me. When all I really needed was MY SISTER!" Another grab for your knee vanished into thin air as you evaded away from her touch and her hand instead reached back towards Meredith, who had not said a word yet but was holding a bag that the brunette had brought for you.

With tears in her eyes and shaking hands, she pulled out some personal items and began decorating your new room for the next few months to calm herself down. Amelia had no idea what to say, she felt incredibly guilty. She carefully placed these items on the nightstand next to the bed, as if she wanted to leave a piece of her lost sister behind. Photos of happy times, some books you recently bought and a diary where you once wrote down your dreams and hopes. "Amelia, is it okay if you leave us alone for a moment?" Meredith's bright voice broke through the cramped silence that was almost unbearable and the brunette nodded groggily but thankfully before slowly turning away, her eyes full of pain and helplessness.

With one last, loving look at you, she left the room and closed the door behind her. The click of the door lock echoed through the empty hallway, and behind it she burst into tears as she leaned against the cold wall and slid painfully down. In that moment she knew she had made the right decision, even though it broke her heart that you turned her away. Amelia had placed you in the care of professionals in the hope that you would find help there, but the pain and sadness of seeing you in this fragile and self-destructive state would stay with her forever.

But she also knew that you would both get through this and that you would eventually thank her for saving your life. And as she pulled herself together and walked down the hallway of the hospital into the parking lot, she could not stop wondering what was currently going on in that room with Meredith and you. Meanwhile, Meredith retreated to your room with you, the atmosphere charged and tense as you nervously folded your hands over your thighs. She sat down next to you and gently placed a hand on your shoulder. "I know this is all very new and very difficult for you. You are probably feeling very hurt, angry and alone, but I want you to understand that your sister never intended to harm you," she began to speak slowly, her hand moving to your face to brush a stray strand of hair from your pale face and tuck it behind your ear. "She loves you more than words can express and she did everything she could to help you."

You hesitantly let her touch you, hurt that she also agreed to your Amelia´s decision and helped her register and accommodate you here. "But then why did she put me in this psychiatric hospital? Why she did not try to help me if she loves me so much?"

"Sometimes, my love, life is not as easy as we wish it to be. Amelia was desperate. She saw how much you suffered, how much you had changed and how you were destroying yourself in front of her eyes. She just knew no more how she could help you. Your sister tried everything, but it felt like nothing was helping and she did not want you to continue to be trapped in this darkness. That seemed to her the only way out to make sure that you Get the support and care you need."

After her speech, you burst into utter tears. Meredith took off her shoes and crawled on all fours to you. She quickly pulled you closer to her, pushing your head into her lap where you clung to her thighs. "But I feel so alone here. I am scared and I miss Amelia and you so much." She stroked your hair comfortingly, gently wiping your cheeks with her thumb every now and then to catch your tears. Her other hand searched for yours, fingers intertwining with yours. "Remember that you are not alone here. The people here will help you and I will always be there for you. I am just a call or a text away and if you want, I can come here with your sister every day after work and spend time with you so that you do not feel alone for at least a few hours.“

"I do not want to blame her but it hurts so much to be here," you admitted quietly, turning your head so that you could look into her eyes from below. A small smile crept onto her lips and she nudged your nose before starting to speak again. "It is okay to have these feelings, to be angry and sad. But please also understand that she acted out of love, even if it does not feel like it in that moment. She did not want you to suffer.“

You lowered your head back to her thighs as you thought about Meredith's words. A spark of understanding glowed in your eyes, and despite the pain, you felt a tiny bit of relief. It was a first step on the road to healing that gave the blonde hope.