#red queens emporium

[redqueensemporium]

Oh silksong. I can not wait for thee.

[bloedewir]

WHY don't we speak about Meredith Stannard?

The delusional queen of templars is alive and well (more or less). And she was pictured on a fresco (also it was shown in the trailer). More specifically, she pictured with Ghilan'nain.

Will the lady of tentacles use Meredith to spread red lyrium? Will Meredith be look like corrupted living being or will she transform into something more Corypheus-like? (because a beloved fellow Cory was on a fresco too but with Elgar'nan). Or Meredith will have red lyrium body? Like a walking red lyrium idol?

Statue of Meredith (or its replic) in Black Emporium, Dragon Age: Inquisition

Will Meredith even return or we just pretend "Absolution" never existed? (serious question btw. feels like bioware are never going to talk about it again). Will she get that Circulum Infinitus? Or we just reached the limit of magic trinkets with the ritual dagger and Eye of Kathiska?

Meredith Stannard (Crimson Knight) in Kirkwall, Dragon Age: Absolution

WHY DON'T WE SPEAK ABOUT MEREDITH STANNARD????

[hannahhook7744]

Can you do Gigi Gothel's Auradon application?

Name: Magknowleea Margerte Gothel. 

Magnolia Marguerite Gothel.

Known Aliases: Gigi Gothel. 

Nicknames or Other: Gothel, Little Gothel, Gothel’s brat, Gia, Mag, M.G, and Frollo's Bastard. 

Date of Birth or Best Guess: October 10th, Year 7 at the Witching Hour. 

Place of Birth: Selfishness 101/”Selfies” Classroom (Room 1424), Dragon Hall.

Favorite Color: Green, Burgundy, Purple, Red, or Gold. 

Favorite Activity: Hairstyling, Acting, Going to Dr. Facilier's Voodoo Arcade, Doom Ball, Foul Ball, and going to my clubs.

Favorite School Subject: Weird Science. 

Father's Name (or alias): Claude Frollo (Judge Frollo). 

Mother's Name (or alias): Esther Eloise Dame  Gothel (Mother Gothel).

But in the case of an emergency, contact: Ginny Gothel, Mason Gothel, Glenn Gothel, Claudine Frollo, Clay Clayton, or Any of the older Tremaine Cousins. 

Father's Profession: Judge, Minister of Justice, Owner of Frollo's Creperie, and Star of Judge Frollo. 

Mother's Profession: Teacher of Selfishness 101 at Dragon Hall, Star of Skin Deep With Mother Gothel, and Owner of Mother Gothel's Healing Emporium.

Who is your favorite of the first wave of VKs? There is no wrong answer. 

Evie because my cousin, Dizzy Tremaine, really likes her and she's really nice and is in a business similar to the ones I want to be in. 

In your own words, tell us why you want to come to Auradon. There is no wrong answer. 

I want to come to Auradon Prep to further my education without the eyes of my mother on me and so that I can stop being a burden on my older sister, Ginny, who's had to take care of me and my big brothers—Mason and Glenn—since we were all born.

I want a chance at a future I can be proud of and to be a part of the world I've always watched from afar, and dream of. 

I want to go to school in a place where I'm not being purposely failed by my teachers like the Queen of Hearts. 

Furthermore, I wish to get away from my father before he realizes who I am and poses more of a risk to me than he already does (like he does did does with my half siblings half sister, Claudine).

I don't want to die here. 

I would also like to get to know my sisters, Rapunzel and Cassandra, who are not on the isle with me and my other siblings.

Plus, I have a much better chance at becoming an actor, an Auratuber, a model, and a cosmetologist in Auradon than I do on the isle where the resources are scarce and such things aren't important.

Signature: 

Gigi Gothel.

[maegorsbignaturals]

Give us more hillbilly au, pls!!! And they 100% live in a trailer park, omg what would King's Landing be in that au??

Grrrr okay okay just because you are asking nicely. Drangonstone IS the trailer park, Aegon, Visenya and Rhaenys leaved there when they scaped their parents and adfer some time they managed to get enough money to move to an old farm that was full of mold and it smelt rancid and that everyone was pretty sure the drains of that farm was poisoned. Aegon and Aenys both tried to fix it but failed and it was Maegor the one who maneged to fix it the most of it and paint it of the most lustruous red he could find. The faith is just your ye-old south baptist/christian church, and ceryse is the girl Maegor knew there. She was the niece of the pastor and sings in the choir and leads some program to teach the kids about religion, Alys is the queen of all the small beauty peageants the town holds and ends up having names like the queen of the corn or something on those lines, Tyanna is the weird woman that lives alone in the farthest part of the town that house smells weird and she has like at least seven different animals as her pets and everyone is DAMN sure she does some kind of witchcraft and they talk about her on her back but if they need an abortion they just go to her, Rhaena was the girl who always dreamed of living in The Big City with her (girl) friends and knowing all this beautiful movie places with really high builidings and have long rides on her Blue Vespa (Dreamfyre) in the streets of the big city, but her uncle had this horrible accident and now someone needs to take care of him and his costant headaches and Maegor borderline treats her just as he treated her Ceryse and Alys and it is kind of weird.

After Maegor weird ass dead where he is found on his couch holding a beer and being illuminated by the blue gleam of the Tv with at least dozen flies flying around him he takes over the farm and said you know what i think we can make something with this shit and that is how he ends up doing the greatest emporium of milk products kingislandingtown has ever seen in its entire existence. Baelon and Aemon are your typical Highschool number one football players that could have had a uni sports scholarship but Aemon got tackled really hard during a game having some kind of internal decapitation against Sunspear's community highschool and that took Baelon so out of the rails that he just ended up never leaving the farm.

[whichstiel]

A Christmas Prince II

I haven't even watched THAT many Christmas or other holiday movies yet this season, but I just vividly dreamed an alternative sequel to the Netflix's A Christmas Prince.

The movie began with them divorced after a short but rocky marriage. The magnifying glass of royalty charred them both and they parted ways amicably (but also obviously heartbroken).

After the opening recap monologue where she talks about her whirlwind royal romance and subsequent heartbreak (disclaimer: I haven't watched the movie in at least a few years - what even happened in it?) we cut to her leaning in to kiss her new girlfriend. (That's right, Netflix says bisexual rights!) They're ready to spend their first Christmas together. Her new girlfriend really wants to introduce her to her parents when the whole family gets together for the holiday. It's bittersweet for our heroine but she tries to move on.

But Amber (I just had to google her name, shut up) gets a call from her Journalism Boss, the Boss of Journalistic Sources. The crown jewels from her former lover's kingdom have been stolen!!! And there's nobody better to cover the news than Amber.

Amber breaks the news to her new girlfriend buuuuuut also obviously makes a big terrible lie out of it. Instead of "sorry, babe, I need to work," she tells the girlfriend that she can't meet the parents because her Christmas surprise is an all expenses whirlwind romantic trip toooooo ALDOVIA. Her girlfriend is apparently NOT a news reader, connects no dots, and packs her skis, baby!

They arrive in Aldovia. Amber tries to spend the whole time wearing slouchy hats and sunglasses, so that nobody in this tiny, fake European monarchy will notice its famous former queen. Hijinks happen. She probably gets recognized by the butler, or something, who secretly plots to "accidentally" reunite her with her former husband who has been pining for her this whole time.

The girlfriend is a sweet but lazily written cinnamon stick who is mainly in the movie to be holiday-card cute and super sweet to Amber (while Amber spirals after glimpsing the Prince - er, King? IDK). We want Amber to reunite with her lost love but also? Girlfriend is sweet like kitten? Must protect??? Maybe this will be a Frozen situation and the girlfriend will turn out to be a total Hans.

Amber is trying to focus on the case - er, journalism story. WHO STOLE THE ROYAL JEWELS? She is only in the country for this reason! She definitely does not find herself comically hiding herself in hedgery to spy on her prince! Especially when a princess comes to town looking to give away her rose, if you know what I mean.

This part of my dream is a little fuzzy, which probably means it doesn't actually exist. So let's have a little fun and make it up.

We can throw in a...baking contest. How about Amber goes undercover as a contestant to sneak into her former home and nobody will recognize her at all because, uuuuuuh, she just has "one of those faces?" (Her bakes are terrible.) She tells her boss that she's only in it to find the jewels and save the prince's kingdom cover the news story.

While Amber is living her worst life, her actually still pretty new girlfriend is busy being a solo tourist of Aldovia. We get what could be a sad montage of solo Christmas card moments (decorating cookies at the local snowy farmer's market stall, holding baby bunnies at the Pet Palace Emporium (the bunnies wear little fake poinsettia bows), and drinking hot chocolate while looking at CGI snowy mountains). The thing is, she's not sad about it. Girlfriend is having the BEST time. It keeps things light for this Netflix romance and we don't feel too bad for girlfriend. She is in a stale three month relationship and all she has is this amazing overseas vacation to show for it!

Amber ends up getting discovered at the palace by the prince. He pulls her into a lavishly red and green decorated room to hold a hissing conversation about why she is there, is she there because of this princess interloper, does she want to get back together, does she miss him too, has she happened to spot any very shiny rocks anywhere?

They decide to solve the mystery together before parting ways FOREVER. One last adventure! Hijinks ensue again, and we're made to suspect the interloping princess, the mysterious relative of the prince who just so happened to be visiting and may be trying to steal his throne, and probably a mysterious shopkeeper who bears some resemblance to Santa Claus and keeps showing up unannounced all over the movie.

While they try to find the missing jewels, Amber and the Prince fall back in love. Or, realize they never fell out of love.

Amber breaks up with her girlfriend - probably during the baking contest - and runs off to stop the prince from getting engaged. It turns out the princess interloper is nowhere in sight and the prince is just...staring out over the mountains, longing for Amber.

Finally, we get back to my dream. The snowy garden is full of twinkling lights and Amber and the prince lean in. Turns out they never stopped loving each other. They vow to let nothing get in the way of their love again. It's time to get married again! They can overcome anything including Journalism and Jewel Thieves! Will their marriage crumble again?

That's probably for next year's sequel.

The cinnamon-stick girlfriend soothes her sorrow by heading back to the Baby Animal Emporium to snuggle more bunnies. The spurned Princess shows up, looking to soothe her heartache with some, uh, bunny snuggling as well. I guess they're going to be featured in the spinoff movie?

Oh, and what about the JEWEL THIEF? We almost forgot about the mystery sub-plot! A squirrel lumbers across the yard while Amber and her prince reaffirm their love. It's...dragging a ruby pendant. They follow the squirrel and find the entire treasure trove of Aldovia shoved into a hollow tree. The thief was small and furry and there's no threat to the kingdom after all! Let's turn to the camera and laugh, share a kiss, and.......fade into snowy mountains while a generic Christmas love song plays us out.

[aydann-runs]

Alex pushes past Guerin without answering his concerned, “You okay?”  He does let his hand rest on Guerin’s shoulder a second longer than strictly necessary in an unspoken thank you.  Liz follows after him as he passes through the faerie light arch, and he quickens his pace, breaking into a jog as soon as he's out of sight of the crowd.  He loves Liz, she's one of his best friends, but he can't deal with her tonight.

Alex ducks into the alley behind the UFO Emporium and sinks down onto the stack of crates someone had placed by the service door as a makeshift seat.  Up the block, he hears Liz calling his name, and then after a moment, silence.  She must have given up looking for him.  He should be happy about that–it’s what he'd wanted–but instead, he's just depressed.

Alex resists the urge to scream, or cry, or punch the brick wall at his back.  None of those things would make him feel any better, so he doesn't see the point.  If he's being honest with himself, prom actually went better than he expected.  Kyle had waited to be an asshole until later in the evening, so Alex had been there to see the committee crown the Prom King and Queen.  He’d taken great joy in seeing Kyle lose out to the captain of the baseball team.

He'd gotten to dance with Liz, gorgeous in the red dress that could only have been Rosa’s idea.

And he was sure he’d seen Michael Guerin smile at him from across the room.

Alex had been working himself up to go over to where Guerin was standing with Max Evans to say hello–it wouldn’t be gay if he was talking to both of them–when Kyle’d gotten in his face and the night went to shit.

Gingerly, Alex rubs his jaw where Kyle had punched him.  He can already tell it's going to bruise.  With a sigh, he pushes off the stack of crates and heads to the end of the alley.  When a quick glance confirms he’s alone, he turns onto Main Street and heads towards the drugstore so he can pick up an ice pack and some more concealer.

The last thing he wants to do is to explain to his dad why he’d gotten into a fight with Kyle Valenti at Prom.

[a-lilacsong]

Soooo I saw you're taking requests for mini fanfics 👀 Could I request something with Elena and Skylar? I really love their friendship :>

  “¡Hola Reina!”

 Elena knew that voice, she looked up from the scroll she'd been reading. “Hi Skylar-” But the words were cut off with a gasp. Instead of the blue and gold macaw jaguar she expected to see, before her stood a somewhat shaggy looking fellow with dark hair, bright eyes, and a golden & blue outfit. 

  “Wait, Skylar is that you!?” She exclaimed. 

 He shrugged his shoulders, looking around. “Skylar, who's Skylar? I'm uhh, Tylar, yeah, Tylar the totally normal human!” But the goofy grin on his face betrayed his attempt at a prank. 

 Elena leaned forward “Really? Hmmmmm, you certainly sound like him...are you SURE you're not Skylar?”

  “Oh, come on I didn't recognize YOU when you were a jaquin!”

  “Ha, well you still gave me a shock!” she replied, getting up from her desk, the paperwork could wait, this was important. “So, Mateo made you a human potion?”

 He nodded “Yeah, I thought that if you could have such a great time being a Jaquin, then it's only fair that I try out being a human to see how fun it was. Come on, you can show me how to do human things!”

  “Sure, I have some spare time, what kind of ‘human things' do you want to do?”

  “Well, I’ve never gone shopping before, and if we go then I can get stuff for even more human activities! I saw some really cool looking musical instruments being sold at the market. If I got one for my own, then you could teach me how to play it!”

 Elena clapped “Sounds like a plan!” They both walked out of the room and down the hall together. “The mercado gets pretty busy in the afternoon, so we better get going.”

 He smiled “Then there's no time to lose, right?” They were at the top of a staircase, but instead of taking the stairs, Skyler climbed over the banister and jumped.

  “SKYLER NO!” Yelled Elena, her fear magic kicking in and pulling him back up before he could hit the ground.

  “Whoops, I forgot humans can't fly.” he said, looking slightly shaken from the realisation. 

 Elena caught her breath, calming her dress back down to red. “Yeah, it's a pretty unfortunate part of being a human.”

  “I'll just go down the stairs the way they were meant to be.” He said, climbing onto the railing and using it to slide all the way down. Then he waved at Elena from the bottom. She shrugged and took the railing slide as well.

 A while later, Elena and Skylar were walking down the busy street, carrying over a dozen shopping bags between them. With Elena paying for the two of them, they had both gone a little bit overboard with their spending but they were having such a good time, they didn't even notice.

 Skylar pointed at the one building they hadn't visited yet. “Let’s go there!”

 “Are you sure? That’s Doña Paloma’s emporium, shopping there might be pretty intense compared to everywhere else we've been.”

 “But we're royalty, so that'll probably make things easier, right?”

 “Possibly?” She said with doubt in her voice, but Skylar was already running through the door.

  When Doña Paloma saw them both enter, she turned away from two of the other customers she had been talking with to give them her full attention. “Hello and welcome to my emporium, Queen Elena. And hello to you as well, I don't believe we've met before?”

  Elena gave a wave that was weighed down by her shopping bags. “Hola Doña Paloma, this is-”

  “I am a Prince from a distant Kingdom, and I’ve come here to do some shopping!” Said Skylar with a big smile. Elena noticed the touch of mischief in his expression.

  “A Prince!” Her eyes lit up with the light of opportunity. “Well, hello there, your majesty.” She said with a bow “You have definitely come to the right place, my store carries a grander selection than any other in the kingdom! Here let me take you on the grand tour.” She took him by the arm and led him into her store.

  “¡Gracias!” said Skylar putting down his bag before walking along beside her.

 Elena followed along behind, as she realized this may have been a bad idea.

 After what felt like hours Skylar had been shown so many interesting things that Elena had to hold him back from buying the entire store. But in the end he had selected a fair number of things to get, including a harp, an extra large bottle of paprika, and a shovel.

  “An absolutely wonderful selection, your majesty. Thank you so much for choosing to shop at my emporium.” Exclaimed Doña Paloma, personally ringing up the goods at the till.

  “You're welcome, your store is really cool! Adios!” replied Skylar once he loaded the final bag into the waggon he had also just bought and began to walk towards the door.

  “Haha, wait a minute, Your Majesty, you have forgotten to pay for those.” She reminded him with a very forced smile.

  He stopped “Oh, well I don't have any money.”

  “You don't have any money!?” She looked shocked, but she quickly regained her composure. “Ah, so I see, His Majesty doesn't carry around any money, that is wise, you wouldn't want to get robbed. So, I assume you have a line of credit you could use?”

  “What's credit?”

  “You…you don't know what credit is?”

  “Don’t worry, I’ll pay for the stuff.” said Elena,

 But she ignored her “How do you not have any money or know what credit is?”

 “Well, back in my kingdom we don't need to buy anything, so it's not necessary to have any money. Honestly, I'm not even sure I understand what money is. Why is it considered valuable in the first place?”

  “You don't know what money is!? I can’t believe it; no, I refuse to believe it!” She looked personally insulted. 

  “Here Doña Paloma, this is all the money for the stuff, we’re sorry if we offended you.” She put the money on the counter “Okay, Skylar, let's go.”

  “Wait a minute, Skylar! You are that jaquin prince, aren't you? You have a lot of nerve to pull a stunt like this after what you did four months ago!”

  “What do you mean?” he asked.

 She scowled at him “Really? You don't remember how you knocked over my entire display I had in front of the store. Then you said you had to leave on “royal business” before you could help clean it all up?”

  “Oh yeah.” He looked at her sheepishly “Well, in my defence I was trying to get home fast, my dad gets really grumpy when I’m late.”

  “Hmph, well, since you don't have those wings to knock things down anymore, how about you make it up to me now. I need the tops of the shelves dusted.”

 Elena stepped between the two of them, “Look, Doña Paloma, I can pay you back for any of the damages he caused.”

  “No, it’s okay,” Skylar insisted “I want to do this, it’s the responsible thing to do and I've never dusted a shelf before, could be fun!”

  “Good, you can start with that one.” Said Paloma, pointing to the nearest shelf with her fan.

 He walked confidently towards it, then turned back with a confused look “So, do I just put dust on the shelves? There's plenty of dust outside I could get, the Mercado has some really good dust.”

 Paloma smiled smugly “No, that's not quite how you do it, but I'm sure Queen Elena would be able to show you how.”

 Skyler looked at her hopefully and Elena sighed, they were probably going to be here for a while. 

[writteninscarlet]

what if…. wanda told you she loved you? ;; @onlyaphcse

They’d grown closer after he had gone. Died. He’d been resurrected but he was different.

He was still her brother and she loved him. And loved that he could start fresh without the guilt that had plagued and weighed him down. Pietro had the chance to have a fresh start.

So did Kitty.

They were simply friends. Good friends.

Kitty spent more time at the Emporium. She was still the Red Queen, with all the duties that came with it so occasionally their time was limited. However, the Red Queen and Scarlet Witch were soon a duo. They were seen together more often than not.

Sometimes it was for a mission, sometimes it was simply to hang out and enjoy one another’s company. Wanda came to look forward to the mutants visits. Kitty and Wanda had both been down - almost depressed, perhaps depressed - to begin with. Death was a massive change for Pietro but HE could remember. They could. At the start they had assisted one another with their feelings. It was nice to have someone with whom they could open up and feel relaxed around. A true judgement free zone.

Then the grief began to dull instead of being an incredibly sharp pain within. They’d began to relax and enjoy the company for more than just ‘therapy’. They didn’t have a lot in common, but they had enough to begin a foundation to learn more about one another.

Wanda came to realise she had feelings for the other but refused to say anything aloud. It wasn’t right. Pietro didn’t care for Kitty now, of course. He wasn’t the same. But Kitty and her brother had once been in love, she didn’t want to undermine that. Kitty wasn’t an object to be stolen, she also shouldn’t simply be passed around. Her feelings made her feel guilty, but they only grew stronger and stronger.

Every time they were together the feelings only grew. It was her laugh, her pout, her stubbornness. Her genuinely GOOD heart. Kitty was a wild force of nature, and Wanda was being swept along for the ride. And she didn’t mind at all. Not one single bit. In fact, she felt incredible. Wanda felt amazing. Caught up in Kitty’s warmth, she felt that she could be herself without ridicule or judgement. Should she be feeling this way? No. Probably not. But it didn’t matter. Feelings came and went and you couldn’t control them. They were automatic and instinctual. You couldn’t help how you felt, only how you acted on those emotions.

And for a long time, Wanda did nothing.

Until a mission went wrong and she almost lost Kitty, just as they had both lost Pietro.

Wanda trusted and knew that Kitty could handle herself. She was strong and independent, plus the amount of missions she went on spoke for herself. But from what she could gather, this mission went wrong from the start and the brunette had been seriously injured. The way her heart had constricted…. She’d been DEVASTATED. She’d felt lost and untethered to the world. Wanda kept it together but the day was a blur until suddenly Kitty was before her.

Actually there, all in one piece. Looking tired but astounding. Beautiful.

They stared at one another for a moment, the silence hanging in the air. Wanda stepped forwards. One hand gently cupped Kitty’s face. She was here. Really here. Not a dream, not a hallucination. Truly there before her. There was so much to say - what had happened? Was she okay? What next?

But first—-

“I love you.”

So absolutely cliche. She hated it. But LOVED her. No hiding anymore. There was no point to keep these feelings within when it was affecting her so deeply. And with that, she leant in to press her lips to Kitty’s. Warm and soft. Sweet. Right or wrong, Wanda didn’t want to let this moment pass her by.

[gmhina]

World23 - 1/2

So I’ll be participating in World23 where the challenge is to work on worldbuilding every day of 2023! (The idea for this challenge was made by EmeraldDragonWrites on Reddit and you can find the post here: https://www.reddit.com/r/worldbuilding/comments/zx7jtp/world23_a_daily_worldbuilding_challenge_for_2023/)

I’m going to post my writing here, but if you would like to see us play in the world I’m building here, join us for Wyvern’s Mark: Tales of Drastrea on Saturdays at 3 PM Pacific as we play DnD over on Twitch.tv/GMHina!

---

Located in Sapphire Shores is a bustling marketplace filled with many different shops to peruse. These shops include Ben’s Wondrous Candy Emporium, The Curious Constellation, and Spectral Spells.

Ben’s Wonderous Candy Emporium is known for its amazing confections but is also known to many adventurers as the best place to get potions. Benjamin, the Wondrous, was granted many awards for his inventions which could make potions into hard drops for easy transport. He is also known for creating potions that children actually enjoyed taking through this form that could cure or prevent many different illnesses and diseases. When entering his shop, you see beautiful glass cabinets holding many different potion drops, self-serving areas with candies safe for anyone to enjoy, and a massive cauldron and device that seems to filter potions into the shape of drops.

The Curious Constellation is known for its high fashion and amazing custom clothing to accommodate any and all who wish to look their finest. The owner, a black tabaxi named Cassandra, specializes in working with shiftweave and glamourweave. These two fabrics can be combined to make amazing outfits that have been seen on Queen Astoria herself. Upon entering, you’ll see many outfits stitched through magical means with love by Cassandra. You may also see one being made in the window using an invisible servant. Cassandra herself puts much care and love into each interaction with her customers as she knows how hard it can be to find an outfit that makes you truly feel like yourself.

Spectral Spells is a wizard’s dream. With walls lined with books and scrolls, it can be overwhelming. The mysterious owner, a black tabaxi dressed in oversized wizard garb, does not give their name often (though their sister at the Curious Constellation might let it slip) and is known for their secrecy and discretion. Rumor has it, that if the owner sees something in you or puts full trust in you… They’ll offer things from their personal trove of spells and books, but this is very uncommon.

Though each shop within the marketplace is quite different, they all protect each other through their connection with the infamous Red Lady. She is a figurehead that manages and monitors everything within the Ruby Marketplace and has done so since its creation. The current Red Lady, Jeanne LeBlanc was appointed after making the largest tavern in the Sapphire Shores and winning the title in a gamble. All whispers go back to the Red Lady and she is known as the ultimate source of information… though Jeanne is the first of three Red Ladies to have such a web of information available. There is respect and understanding towards her by all who work within the marketplace and those who may wish her harm, may find many eyes watching them.

The Red Lady Tavern is home to Jeanne and a wonderful place to stay if one has never been to the Sapphire Shores. The remains of a massive ship were utilized in its construction making it appear as though the ship’s bow is piercing up through the ground up to the middle of the ship, while the other half was used to make the many rooms and structures inside. The food available is the finest they can offer at an amazing price that any could afford thanks to the many thankful individuals within the Ruby Marketplace offering some of their finest produce and meats. Its rooms offer beds for any sized party with varying prices that make things affordable, but those who can’t afford a single room can stay in a hostel-sized area for a very cheap price and offer something of value for a meal (if not coin, information or work will suffice.) This tavern has become a central point within the city and many will protect this place as if it were their own home.

(Sorry for any errors, I only did slight editing! Total words for today: 652!)

[redwinterroses]

(tw for vague description of torture. Dw it's nothing major I left most of it to the imagination)

They laugh through the venom on their tongue, bumbles with a practiced veneer of idiocy, no one would suspect a thing.

They're all so kind here, a betrayal would never occur to them. They'd trust the devil himself without a second thought, let alone a being who's the mirror to one of their dear friends.

So many of the Hermits wouldn't even try to defend themselves if he tried to kill them.

A few would, of course. The zombie trusts him about as far as she could spit them, the Knight never leaves home without a blade in hand, and there's the queen who could probably kill him with her bare hands

But of all the trusting fools on the server, there was one EX knew they could easily fool;

<EvilXisuma: Hey MumboJumbo, could you meet me at the Evil Emporium? I need some help with some redstone and the Axolotl is too unwell to do so>

<MumboJumbo: Uh sure thing man, I'll be right there>

<EvilXisuma: Don't bother bringing any weapons or anything, it's all spawnproofed>

The Void in crimson armour laughed to himself, making some last minute adjustments to the timing on the saw trap he had ready for the fool. He'd always wondered whether a person's pain tolerance had any affect on their HP, and well, no one would ever consent to the experiment, and he had to find out somehow.

"STOP THIS!"

EX glanced to the side, seeing Xisuma strapped into his own trap, pieces of his armour ripped off and discarded and the Void leaking out into the burning light.

"YOU CAN'T DO THIS! NOT TO MUMBO, HE CAN'T WITHSTAND SOMETHING LIKE THIS!"

"Hmm.. Are you going to nominate another hermit in his place my dear axolotl? Perhaps the grandfather? The faun? The dog? Who would you rather I do this experiment with? Who is the most disposable to you?"

Xisuma fell silent, but for his grunts and gasps of pain. His mind spinning at the ultimatum he'd been given.

EX chuckled darkly, hearing their comms ping;

<MumboJumbo: I'm here, where are you?>

<EvilXisuma: I'll be right up>

They turned to Xisuma, eyes glowing red, "I'll be right back, don't go anywhere~"

EXCUSE YOU I HAVE PROBLEMS WITH THIS namely:

1) how dare you hurt mumbo and

2) ...where's the rest of the fic. hey. hey. I need more please.

🥺👉👈

[redqueensemporium]

Have a double page spread of shirou ogami from BNA on netflix

[defenderrosetyler]

APHS: Chapter 4

A/N: Chapter 4 is finally here! Thanks to @flamencodiva​ for my Beta as well as some ideas! She also has a companion fic to this! The Frog Princess! WC:  2162 TW; Blood Mention

Storybrooke Time seemed to pass rather quickly since Graham’s death. Emma had become a permanent resident in Storybrooke, taking over Graham’s position as Sheriff of Storybrooke. Back at home, Sam was still arguing with Ruby. What did this woman not understand? Sam didn’t want to be with her anymore, especially when Sam heard that she had been sleeping around with other men. Besides Sam’s constant arguments with Ruby, which were growing annoying and tiresome, Sam was attempting to try and repair what relationship he had with Y/N. He’d noticed Dean was trying to help out Amaya, the young woman who owned the Amphibian Emporium. He knew that those two had a rocky relationship, especially when the brothers had dinner at Granny’s as usual when they weren’t eating at their own apartments after a long day’s work.

  “How are things with Y/N?” Dean asks, changing the subject of Sam talking about him and Amaya.  The elder brother knew Sam was finally kicking Ruby out of his apartment and made him feel a little better.  Yes, Sam and Y/N had their arguments. Hell, even he and Amaya had arguments, but something told him there was a connection between Sam and Y/N. “Haven’t really spoken to her since she came into Granny’s the night Graham died.” He admits with a shrug. “You still having those crazy-ass dreams?” Sam asks his younger brother. Dean had been having nightmares and hearing voices when he slept at night. Sam didn’t want to tell anyone yet, but he had them too. The dreams he had were different from Dean’s. But both of them had been spending more time with the Mayor’s son. Dean rubbed the back of his neck, desperately wanting to change the subject. “I picked up extra work,” He commented. This made Sam blink his eyes. “Besides working at the garage and working as a sub gym teacher, you picked up another job?” Sam asks in shock. Dean hesitated a moment too long, which made Sam sit up a little straighter in his chair. “This is the part where you tell me where you're working?” Sam huffed impatiently. “Yes, I took another job,“ Dean mutters after several moments of silence. Trying to brush off the subject.

The anger in Sam's face radiated with heat. Yes, they had funds to owe Rowena, but now Dean had to get another job? “Listen, don't worry about me, Sam, alright?” Dean replied with a simple shrug.

“You-You’re kidding, right?” Sam scoffed, running a hand over his face in an attempt to calm down his temper. Dean was clearly trying to brush him off, but Sam wasn't letting him hide a secret from him.

“What on Earth could you possibly be doing to help with work, Dean? I'm already busting my ass as it is, with what little work I have.” Dean was now starting to become irritated now. His own face grew warm as his anger built. Why wouldn't Sam drop this?

“You said don't worry about you?” Sam continues, seeing Dean's face change, hoping this push would be what he needed to say to get Dean to tell him why he took on extra work. Dean's arms crossed his chest. Clearly, he wasn't revealing why.

“Dean, I'm your brother!” Sam says, raising his voice into a yell. “Why won't you tell me?”

Dean's eyes narrowed, his chest rising and falling as he took shaky breaths. “Just drop it, Sam!” He says through clenched teeth.

 Sam wasn't dropping this. Crossing his own arms, Sam's hazel eyes stared into his brother's emerald green ones. Waiting for an answer. Dean stood his ground. Being family was one thing, but did he have to reveal every little part of his life to Sam? Sure, Sam had secrets from him. Why couldn't Dean have this? Seeing that Sam wasn't standing down either, Dean scoffed, glaring at him.

“The other job is because Amaya needed my help.” Dean says irritably, “She was behind on her rent, and Gold was threatening to shut her down!” Sam stood from his chair, pulling at his hair. Groaning both inwardly as well as vocally. “Is this because you can’t keep your promises to her?” He says with a scoff. “Or is this you trying to impress her, now that she’s with Trenton and not you?” Dean groaned, rolling his eyes before standing to switch all the garage lights off. His body tensed hearing his name. “Do me a favor, Sammy?” Dean says, in a miffed tone, “Worry about your own life for once and work on getting Ruby out of your apartment.” Apparently, this topic was closed for the time being. ------ Enchanted Forest “Gabriel was looking for you,” Bobby, the stable master, says as he watches the younger prince approach riding Onyx. Sam felt exhausted from riding from the Charmings. Hearing that the Fairy, who was head of Winchester Castle archives, was looking for him? Hopefully, he was bearing good news. On his way to the archives, however, his mother and father apparently had other ideas. His father cleared his throat as his younger son passed by without greeting. With an internal groan, Sam turned to greet his father, bowing as a sign of respect, even if it was just a nod of his head. “Samuel, I have someone I would like to introduce you to,” John says, placing a welcoming hand on the woman who stood beside him. The woman had brunette hair that fell just above her breasts. Her gown was a deep burgundy red in the Irish style that flowed to the floor. It was laced in the front with black ribbon trim. The ends of the sleeves, on both elbows, down the front in a thin line dropping from the neckline,  were covered in a soft black fabric. 

On top of the black material were delicate silver swirls, making the dress shimmer in the sunlight. The brunette gave a short yet polite curtsy as John introduced her, “Son, say hello to Princess Ruby of  Avrinyth on the Isle of Dagua.” “A pleasure to meet you, your highness.” Ruby greeted, giving Sam a bright smile. “Your father had told me so much about you in his letters, but let me assure you, your portraits do not do you justice. You are more handsome in person.” She says in almost a flirtatious tone. Sam cleared his throat, feeling awkward and uncomfortable. He knew that Ruby had a reputation for sleeping with other men and even being a mistress for some of them. Then again, those are just rumors possibly, but who knows. Sam had other things to worry about right now. Still, remembering his manners again, Sam gave a short yet polite nod. “Forgive me, Princess Ruby, but I have a meeting that I’m late for.” He says, moving to rush off before his father could stop him Watching his youngest son run off down the corridor, he sighed, hanging his head as he looked apologetically at Ruby. “I am so sorry for my son’s behavior. It appears that his mind is still hooked on making sure Odette returns back to the palace alive. He claims to have found her but has no proof to his claims.” Ruby offers the king a kind smile, but something seems a bit off to him. The way her eyes shined, almost mischievously, had King John wondering if Sam had the right idea about her. “First loves,” the princes said, “are very hard to forget, Your Highness.” The king couldn’t help but agree as he turned to face his wife, “indeed they are, young Princess. Indeed they are.” “John, why don’t you have one of the guards escort the princess to her room? Allow her time to get settled in from such a long journey.” After a pause, seeing the same glint in Ruby’s eyes as her husband had. “We’ll all meet down for dinner shortly.” Mary smiled, linking her arm with her husband. The king cleared his throat, nodding at one of the nearby guards. John and Mary left with a slight bow in Ruby’s direction before leaving towards their chambers. Once alone, John cleared his throat, keeping his gaze forward as he talked in hushed tones to his queen. “Her reputation precedes her,” John says, clearing his throat, “She is indeed a beautiful woman, but there is also the rumor about her sharing another man’s bed.” “That rumor may be true, but we have our kingdom to worry about,” Mary adds, stopping just outside their door before heading inside. “Dean will take over, you know this, Mary,” John sighed. “I have a feeling that our eldest will help bring another kingdom into our fold.” Mary blinked in a bit of amazement, finding herself speechless as she looked at her husband. “John, you honestly believe that the kingdom of Irinica will agree to such a match?” Opening the door to their chambers, allowing Mary to enter first, John nodded. “You know as well as I that Dean made a promise to help the Princess, after all,” he says, pausing for a moment, “A promise given is a promise kept. And I can’t help but feel that there is more to the Kingdom of Irinica. As if we’ve all forgotten something important about it.” ---- Storybrooke The argument with Dean had Sam still fuming. Worry about himself for once and not his elder brother’s issues? Weren’t they a family? Wasn’t family supposed to help each other? Sam couldn’t go home. He knew all too well that Ruby hadn’t moved out yet. She’d barely touched any of her belongings. Sam wasn’t in the mood to even touch her things. If he had his way about it, he’d toss everything in a box, leaving it outside his door. True, he and Dean had spent an afternoon packing her clothes. However, that was as far as it went. Trying to think of something to do, Sam happened upon an idea. There was a specific person he wanted to visit. Well, their grave anyway. With a heavy heart, Sam makes his way to Storybrooke Cemetery. Across town, Y/N stood in the office with Rowena and her son. “Rowena, please, I’ve been working hard to pay off my debt. You can’t just make me leave. How else am I going to make my payments to pay you back!” She argued. Trying to hold back the emotion in her voice. A mix of sadness and begging was in her tone. “If you had just agreed to marry me when I first offered, sweetheart,” Crowley says, leaning against the filing cabinet, arms crossed as his gaze focused on her. “Then, perhaps we wouldn’t be in this little predicament.” Since Crowley had brought Y/N into Rowena’s office during this entire conversation,  she had been absently scribbling on her notes. Not writing anything in particular, but it made her seem distracted and uninterested. The girl had been offered her son as a bargain. In exchange,  Rowena would pay Y/N’s Father’s funeral and hospital bills. However, the stubborn girl had refused, resulting in their agreement of Y/N working off her debt. “I’ve said it over and over, but you just don’t get it!” Y/N shouted, her tone becoming more clipped and irritated. This time, her anger was poised at Crowley instead of his mother. “I will not marry you. You can offer me all the money in the world. However, my answer remains the same. No.” For the first time since Y/N had entered her office, Rowena’s gaze lifted from her writing, tone flat, almost as a threat. “Then dearie, I suggest you find employment elsewhere. Just because you don’t have a job doesn’t mean I’ll find ways to make sure the money you owe is repaid.” “I’m not as bad as you claim me to be.” Crowley tries to add as a final plea for her to see reason and accept the bargain. “I’ll be a good husband for you.” Clearly, Y/N’s words were not clear enough for them to understand. With an aggravated scoff, she glared at the pair. “Use my last paycheck to go towards whatever I owe you,” She snapped. Storming out of the building, Y/N did all she could to wait till she was away from prying eyes before the tears flowed freely from her eyes. There was only one place she wanted to be, somewhere she knew she could be alone. Her father’s grave. As she made her way through the cemetery, someone was sitting in front of it. They were whispering as if getting things off his chest. Approaching the figure in the dark, Y/N was shocked as she looked at the man sitting beside her Fathers grave.  “Sam?” She lets out in a breath, “what on earth are you doing here.” Sam looked nervous that he’d been caught out here, but all he could respond with were two words. “Evening, Y/N.”

[pennamesmith]

Secret of the Skeletor

Skeletor sneaks out. Some less-prominent former members of the Horde receive community outreach. More Skeletor stories! 

*

Skeletor sat alone in the laboratory.

He had strict orders not to go anywhere or do anything. As one of Horde Prime’s drone bots, he knew the importance of rules. But ever since Entrapta had reprogrammed him with a name and a unique personality, he also knew the importance of breaking them.

Skeletor chuckled. He stood up, paused, then sat back down again and laughed some more as he pondered his options.

Just about everybody else in Bright Moon was busy. Even Wrong Hordak’s usual support group was canceled while he attended the queen’s cabinet meeting about Entrapta’s new interdimensional research findings.

This meant it was the perfect time for Skeletor to venture outside the kingdom. A community outreach day. He grinned. Pausing only to giggle again and leash his beloved robot puppy, Relay, Skeletor snatched up Darla’s ignition crystal and shambled out the door.

“Now for a little vanishing act!” he declared as he left.

It was going to be a good day.

*

Kyle braced himself as soon as he heard the ship engines come to a stop outside the window.

“Hey, guys?” he called to the other two inhabitants of their modest home. “I think —”

He was interrupted by the sound of splintering wood. “Strong, but not strong enough!” Skeletor yelled as he cheerfully kicked in the door. Rogelio, who had been going to open it, bristled in shock while Lonnie yelped and grabbed a frying pan from the kitchen, brandishing it like a club from behind the counter.

A long, stale moment passed.

“...It’s all part of the game!” Skeletor explained apologetically, as he turned and tried to replace the door on its hinges. “We don’t want to hurt anyone!” At his feet, Relay peered inside the room and barked, tail wagging.

All three of the former Horde soldiers relaxed and breathed a sigh of relief, though Lonnie’s battle-ready expression did not change.

“Do you really have to do that every time you come over?” Kyle asked, poking at the loosely swinging door.

“Yes,” Skeletor replied honestly.

Rogelio shrugged and growled something indistinct.

Lonnie quirked an eyebrow. “What? You asked him to come here?”

“We both did,” Kyle piped up. He reached for Rogelio’s hand in reassurance. “We… kinda wanted to get some more information on Wrong Hordak’s support group.”

Dutifully, Skeletor produced a sheaf of pamphlets and papers detailing schedules and services and handed them over to the two young men. Rogelio accepted them all with a brief roar of thanks.

Lonnie shook her head, still frowning. “Oh no. I already told you, I am not interested. Going over there for wellness day was one thing, but there are too many people there that I still just… can’t be around. And he’s nice and all, but I don’t think Wrong Hordak really gets me.”

“Running away. So impolite!” Skeletor scoffed.

“That’s okay!” Kyle hastily added. “You don’t have to come with us. We’d never force you into something like this.”

“Running away sounds like a terrific idea!” Skeletor said.

Kyle looked at Rogelio. “It’s just, we’ve been talking, and I think we want to give it a try. Even if it doesn’t work out, we might be able to learn some stuff that could help. Taking the first step can be really hard, even when it’s the right thing. And we’ll be here if you decide you’re ready, but we’ll be here if you don’t, too.”

Lonnie’s expression softened, slightly. “Thanks guys,” she said, and meant it. She went to hug the other two. “Now, let’s see about making this robot fix our door.” She pounded a fist into her palm meaningfully.

“I think it’s time for me to leave and take care of another matter!” Skeletor squeaked, and beat a hasty retreat.

*

Darla hovered serenely above the water on the Salinean coast. While Relay napped in the captain’s chair, Skeletor strolled unhurriedly along the docks. He stopped in front of a small, shabby storefront and looked curiously at the sign above the door.

Sea Hawk’s Ship Disposal and Firewood Emporium, it read. You Crash ‘Em, We Burn ‘Em!

“I think I’ll make him my court jester, if he’s funny enough!” Skeletor proclaimed, and walked inside.

However, it was instantly apparent from the lack of off-key sea shanties being sung that the shop’s namesake proprietor was currently absent. This suited the skinny robot just fine. The real subject of his visit was the new part-time hire, who sat slouched at the register behind a gossip-scroll and an eyepatch.

Octavia brightened when she saw Skeletor enter. “Hey, I was wondering when you’d make it back here!” she called out. Skeletor waved in response and marched over, holding out a laden bag.

“I’ve brought you a present!” Skeletor announced.

Octavia’s good eye shone as she reached inside and pulled out a glittering, silver fishing net. “Oh, wow, Entrapta finished it already!” she gushed, holding the netting up to the light to admire it.

“That net is made of elastium!” Skeletor boasted. “It’s not only one of the hardest substances in the universe, it also stretches!”

“Hey, thanks for helping me commission this,” Octavia said, looking back. She smiled wistfully. “Entrapta really was the best part of the Horde when we were all there, you know? She was so nice to everyone, and Hordak was loads calmer, and all our maintenance complaints got fixed practically overnight!”

“That’s just peachy for you!” Skeletor said.

“Plus, it kinda took some of the sting out of having to take orders from the kid who did this when we were six,” Octavia added, gesturing to her eyepatch. “I had ambitions, you know? I was the first of our class to make Force Captain. I was going places! Of course, none of that matters anymore.”

Her sour expression melted as she looked back at the new net. “But that won’t stop me! With this I can make some extra money on the side selling seafood. Then I’ll buy this place from Sea Hawk — honestly, I think he forgets he owns it sometimes — and turn it into a crafting and antique shop, Octopus Cove or Mystic Isle or something. After that I’ll take over all the shops on the dock one by one, and then the beach tourism market will be mine! Ha ha!”

She cackled with evil glee. Skeletor joined in, politely.

“Too bad about the others, but at least I escaped!” Skeletor concluded, and left to continue his mission.

*

“Beast-Man!” Skeletor sang as the door opened.

“I still don’t know who that is, but it’s good to see you again too,” Grizzlor grinned. “Come on in, buddy!”

Skeletor followed the wolffish giant inside while Relay trotted happily at his heels. Grizzlor’s husband, fellow former Horde Commander Cobalt, was relaxing in their living room and waved when he saw the bot.

“Skeletor! How’ve you been?”

“Sitting down on the job?” Skeletor barked. “I’ll help you, if only to be rid of you!” He offered Cobalt a thick folder of paperwork. “Here, here it is!”

Cobalt accepted the folder reverentially. “Really? I knew it was a long shot asking Hordak for help, but all the red tape was getting to be such a nightmare that I just didn’t know what to do anymore.” He sniffled and wiped a tear from his eye. “Thank you so much!”

“You’re crying for Hordak?” Skeletor huffed. “I don’t believe it!”

“I can’t believe that worked,” Grizzlor admitted. “I mean, I always thought Hordak hated me,” he added sheepishly. “Especially after that thing with the two neckties.”

Cobalt shook his head. “Nah, I don’t think Hordak ever really hated anybody. He just didn’t know what to do with anyone. Now, Shadow Weaver on the other hand…”

“Most unpleasant!” Skeletor muttered.

“Exactly. But I think Hordak did care, in his own way. He saw how scared we were of combat during the early days, in the Scorpion uprising. I think that’s why he kept me teaching the cadets and you on the easy patrols, Grizz.”

Grizzlor chuckled. “Aw, I can’t imagine you being scared of anything, big guy!”

“Oh, I wasn’t always like this!” Cobalt demurred, flexing his shoulders. “Back in my cadet days I was so skinny everyone called me ‘Mantenna’! Used to joke that I’d fall through a crack in the floor if I wasn’t careful.”

“Another piece of the puzzle!” said Skeletor.

Cobalt slung an arm around Grizzlor. “But listen, Horde or no, I’ll always be there for you.” He held up the adoption papers Skeletor had delivered. “And now, we might have something else to protect together.”

*

Skeletor’s last stop was a recently-refurbished tavern just inside the Crimson Waste. He nodded approvingly at the osseous architecture and then pushed his way through the curtain while Relay ran ahead, yapping.

Inside there was a wide, smoky space filled with outlaws and ruffians of every species imaginable. They all turned to look as Skeletor entered.

“That’s it! Kneel before your new master!” Skeletor bellowed.

Everyone immediately went back to what they had been doing. The chatter and plinky piano music returned. Relay found a small lizard and began to chase it around the floor.

“Skeletor! It’s good to see you back, friend!”

An enormous purple hand clapped the robot on the shoulder. Skeletor looked up into the smiling face of a towering barbarian.

“Can I get you anything?” Huntara asked, conversationally. “Minions to yell at? A ribcage chair to sit in?”

“Unnecessary! Because we’ve already found you!” Skeletor replied.

“Good, I was hoping you’d say that. Zed! Sunder!” Huntara called out. Two Horde clones who were staffing the bar — one seeming slightly shorter than the typical clone brother, and the other a bit older and wrinklier — glanced up at the sound of their names and hurried over.

“Keep an eye on the door, willya? I need to talk to bonehead here for a bit. We’ve got… business to discuss.”

The two clones nodded seriously, and Huntara escorted Skeletor to a secretive back room behind the bar. Inside there were many potted cacti, two comfortable chairs, and a little table with a miniature sand garden on top. It had a tiny, handheld rake for making soothing patterns in the sand.

“I’m so glad you’re here!” Huntara sighed in relief, dropping into one of the chairs. Relay jumped into her lap and she patted his head gratefully. “I have so much to talk about! You know how last time I was telling you about Grox and all the things she was saying to me? Well…”

“Easy, don’t overexert yourself! It’ll only cause you to weaken more quickly,” Skeletor cautioned. He settled into the other chair and leaned forward, listening intently.

“Yeah, I know. It’s just nice to have someone to talk to, Huntara said. “I don’t feel comfortable in big groups and I can’t always open up to the people around here. So thanks for stopping by.”

Skeletor nodded. “I’m right here, old friend! Release the shadow beast!”

A weight seemed to leave Huntara’s shoulders. “All right. Now, like I was saying…”

*

Long after the stars had come out, the laboratory door finally swung open again. Entrapta and Hordak, looking exhausted but accomplished, strode inside with their arms full of rolled-up diagrams and data sheets from that day’s presentation.

“...And they listened to everything I said!” Entrapta exclaimed as they came in. “I can’t remember the last time anybody besides you paid attention to me for that long. It was kinda scary, but it felt kinda good, too!”

“They were fools if they never attended to you before,” Hordak purred, smiling proudly. “And I cannot imagine they would disregard you now. After all, you are talking about the prospect of rescuing —”

“Sounds like we’ve got company!” Skeletor interrupted, welcoming the couple back to the lab. He was sitting, hands primly folded, in exactly the same spot as he had been when they left. “I’ve been expecting you!”

“Oh. Hello, Skeletor,” Hordak sighed, reluctantly looking away from Entrapta. “Did you follow my instructions to stay put today?”

Skeletor crossed his fingers and nodded.

“Did you follow my instructions?” Entrapta whispered, after Hordak had gone on ahead. Skeletor nodded again, much more enthusiastically this time.

“Good robot!” Entrapta replied, with a wink and a smile. “Thanks for helping out!” Then she scampered away to keep up with her lab partner.

“Ha! My plan has worked perfectly!” Skeletor gloated. “Now I have the power!”

[currywaifu]

𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐞: barbie movies as troupe plays part 1 𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠: sfw

𝐚𝐧: if you think i won’t do all 36 barbie movies, you’re wrong. regardless of whether people want this or not. i have barbie brainrot 24/7. i’m just separating it into parts so it’s not too long *this isn’t meant to be that serious y’all my reasons vary from legit to just jokes

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥: i won’t go in-depth with any plot differences from movie to play, or how the characters would work out... for now *chuckles in future ppt*

𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏: nutcracker, rapunzel, swan lake, princess and the pauper, fairytopia series, magic of pegasus, barbie diaries, island princess, three musketeers 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟐: coming soon 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟑: coming soon

𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐞: mixed troupe! spring x autumn. one of the seasonal events/scouts for A3! has a nutcracker theme, and to avoid spoilers that’s all i will say :3

𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐭: since this is based on barbie’s take on the nutcracker, changing up the cast from what tsuzuru had in plan:

clara/sugarplum fairy: sakuya. i want to see him go through a costume & hair transformation sequence, not gonna lie. 

nutcracker/prince eric: juza. obviously he has to be the ruler of the land of sweets.

mouse king: sakyo or chikage. i want one of them to wave around a sceptre and say quotes like “i’ll reduce the Nutcracker to a pile of splinters"

pimm: taichi... pimm is a spy :O who has to do dirty work :O but the real reason is i just want taichi to follow around sakyo again or maybe even chikage this time lol

major mint & captain candy: tsuzuru and citron respectively. mint is pretty serious and awkward, candy is a lot friendlier- i just think it’ll be a good way to insert some humor in the play

𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐞: mixed troupe! summer x autumn.

𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐭: rapunzel in this one actually is the “servant” of gothel. also, rapunzel has a magical paint brush and also there’s dragons. who are purple. 

rapunzel: kazunari. obviously. actually, kazu has a lot of similarities with her: a good artist, patient, adventurous, quick thinking, hardly ever complains- also he’d look good with long hair i think ><

gothel: omi. there is an action fighto scene + also just the theme of omi playing villains lol... also THERE’S A SCENE WHERE GOTHEL PRETENDS TO BE RAPUNZEL BY WEARING A LONG WIG AND BOI- KAZU AND OMI’S BODY BUILDS ARE SO DIFFERENT BUT IT’D BE FUNNY IF THE PRINCE FALLS FOR THE TRAP ANYWAY

penelope: kumon. a PURPLE funny and clumsy dragon- fight me, the only answer is kumon especially once you see who’s next.

hugo: juza. a PURPLE dragon who’s penelope’s dad but he’s gonna be the older bro in this one (i wonder why...) 

hobie: a passive and worrisome rabbit... Tenma.

prince stefan: he also has a couple fight scenes... ngl bc stefan has blue eyes, light brown hair + described by the wiki as “fierce”, he’s banri. 

𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐞: winter troupe. i will stand by this forever. 

𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐭: this is like one of the ones i’ve had figured out for a while already...

odette & odile: tsumugi. i’m just saying, tsumugi’s duality- he can do both the white and black swan because he has power. impact.

prince daniel: not tasuku bc spare him the prince roles he’s sick of it. guy. why guy? because he obviously has a good idea of how to act like a prince :3 

rothbart: HOMARE! I WANT! THIS MAN! TO PLAY THE ANTOGONIST! GO OFF ABOUT DARK ARTS! TRANSFORM EVERYONE TO ANIMALS LIKE THE EXTRA BEING YOU ARE.

fairy queen: azuma. ugh just- imagining how ethereal he’d look.

erasmus: tasuku. he’s a troll that can act mean, but is genuinely kind and helpful... also, the VA of erasumus is also the VA for “unnamed burly villager” and i’m just saying-

kelly the cygnet: hisoka. there’s too many animal children, so hisoka is gonna be the baby swan. uwu. also, kelly has a quote, “I can't sleep.” and wOW THE IRONY

𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐞: WE’RE GOING FOR THE COMEDIC ROUTE WHAT’S UP SUMMER. reason: i went “wait... no actor really looks super alike though.”

𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐭: tafahfuoahoaf it’s my favourite barbie movie... OKAY SO THE RUNNING GAG OF THIS IS THAT THE PRINCESS & PAUPER DON’T LOOK ALIKE, BUT EVERYONE KEEPS GOING “Wow! you two look so identical!” no they don’t

anneliese: muku. first of all please look at the sprite i used in the header. anneliese = pink = muku. she’s the sweet princess archetype... but in this version she also goes on tangents about rocks and mineraLS AND HOW THE MINING INDUSTRY SUX AND THE ABSOLUTE AUDACITY OF-

erika: kumon. first of all, the sprite in the header again. erika = blue like ugh this is perfect. ALSO erika has a cat who BARKS and i just imagine kumon talking to her cat like: WOOF WOOF WOOF GRRR GRRR and the dog responding and everyone in the palace going wtf

king dominick: i had such a crush on him anyway he’s tenma. rich, young, talented king who disguises himself as a page so he can find love for realsies. im just saying. he won’t be tenma’s only role tho ><

julian: kazunari. the wiki went “he’s the only bestfriend a barbie MC ever married” really shook me like ugh friendship dynamic between muku and kazu roles??? also kazu’s genuinely smart so him as the tutor was just gucci in my eyes

preminger: misumi. FIRST OF ALL PREMINGER IS ICONIC? WHEN HE SANG HOW CAN I REFUSE I WAS LIKE UGH KING. i just wanna hear misumi play an antagonist that’s also funny and do things with his voice.

madame carp: yuki. a bossy and rich woman who owns a dress emporium. pretty much it.

nick & nack: YUKI AND TENMA. THEY WILL DOUBLE ROLE FOR THE SAKE OF BEING MISUMI’S DUMB UNDERLING DUO

𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐞: spring troupe. i wanna see them have wings uwu.

𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐭: just gonna combine the whole fairytopia series into one 

elina: itaru. first of all, pink motif. also i just like the idea of itaru being this recurring protagonist.

bibble the puffball played by kamekichi

laverna: recurring villain citron. for no reason other than i think it’s cool when he plays power hungry villains

enchantress: i just want sakuya to play a role that’s more of a “powerful character” but still really kind uwu. another recurring good guy.

azura & glee: tsuzuru. elina is azura’s apprentice, and glee is a friend who’s generally really happy... ngl, i wanna see tsuzuru play someone more energetic for funsies

nori: masumi. nori is kind of a stubborn and jealous person at first, him and elina won’t get along right away BUT DAMMIT THE ENEMIES? TO FRIENDS IS GUCCI!!! 

merman prince nalu & linden: chikage... yeah i just gave chikage the guy roles ngl... but i wanna see chikage as a handsome merman AND handsome fairy so *shrugs*

𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐞: cross troupe. spring x winter.

𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐭: partially based on the ice-skating cards (i have yet to read the event story, unfortunately).

annika: tsuzuru. i thought it’d be fun to cast tsuzuru as a more sheltered character due to annika’s parents’ protectiveness. the contrast y’all.

shiver: sakuya. shiver is a polar bear cub sidekick who’s friendly and likes shiny things and that’s just... really cute... put bear ears on sakuya...

brietta: guy. brietta is annika’s older sister... who got transformed into a pegasus by the villain... i wonder how they’d change the pegasus thing lol

wenlock: tasuku. NOT GONNA LIE- i want tasuku to play the villain for all these wonderful one-liners: "Oh, smile! You didn't lose a daughter; you've gained a pet!", and "I thank my lucky stars I didn't marry you!"

prince aidan: masumi bc i want more roomie interaction on stage i mean their friendship keeps getting cuter and cuter.

cloud queen: azuma... that’s all. i just remembered her bc her hair has a braided crown, and i went “azuma braided hair brainrot”

𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐞: mixed troupe! summer x autumn.

𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐭: i was gonna make it full autumn, but then the age casting felt awkward since they’re in high school...

barbie: taichi. barbie here is shy but wants to stop blending in the background! i just went “damn that do be resonating”. also i wanna hear taichi sing more y’all and barbie is a singer/guitarist here

courtney: azami. i like the idea of azami playing a spunky character who’s more of a tomboy, but still does like fashion and accessorising and... lip gloss?

tia: misumi? tenma? idk the intelligent and passionate archetype is very broad... especially in a high school setting

kevin: kazunari. just the whole best friend thing + kevin being a goofy person who loves to make ppl laugh ugh

racquelle: yuki. i know racquelle’s a bully here and say not to bullying... but sharp tongue.

todd: honestly? todd was so boring in the moving. we need someone like banri to give him CHARACTER!... yes that’s my reasoning ugh

𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐞: sUMMER SUMMER SUMMER-

𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐭: AHAHAHA WHAT IS THIS CASTING? MY REASONINGS FOR THIS ONE IN PARTICULAR ARE SO SHALLOW LMAO

ro/rosella: “a 16 year old girl who can talk to animals! adventurous and brave” me: *gasps* mISUMI-

prince antonio: “prince antonio loves travelling and exploring-” okay yeah it’s kazu...

queen ariana: i just want yuki to sing to me “love is for peasants which we’re obviously not” and i’d go :O also ngl... i wanna see yuki in like darker palettes and plotting to poison all the royals

princess luciana: queen ariana’s daughter... played by muku. because i wanna hear muku counter yuki with “all the shoujo mangas books i’ve read, all the poems always said, that the heart is made to share...”

sagi the red panda & azul the peacock: honestly, just basing it off of colour matching but tenma is sagi and kumon is azul lol

𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐞: AUTUMN x SPRING

𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐭: AHAHAHA WHAT IS THIS CASTING? pt 2 

corrine: i keep wanting to put sakuya in these roles oops. i just... let him sword fight on stage again :>

viveca: purple musketeer, artistic, designs clothes... fights with ribbons... you know, for the sake of banri being a fAshIoNisTa... it has to be banri y’all "Don't mess with the animal print dress!"

aramina: green musketeer, fights with fans, romantic and loves ballet... pfft, for the sake of “wouldn’t it be funny-” it has to be azami. poor bby, having to swoon over romance on stage- he can’t relate

renee: chikage. purely because of that scene where she threw a feather duster (?) at a flying shard of glass and perfectly hit it. yeah.

helene: the old and strict instructor that teaches them how to be musketeers... sakyo.. duh.

philippe: the main antagonist... it has to be omi again. and since philippe has a goatee, we’re bringing back facial hair omi~

prince louis: itaru, lol. he’s like the one significant non-action oriented character in the film. he has just enough moments where itaru still looks princely, but mostly? he just wants humans to fly y’all.

want to order again?

[kathyprior4200]

Haven Hotel: That’s Disengagement!

 A princess with long black wavy hair walked out onto a high balcony. She wore a black undershirt with a white bow tie on top. A dark teal shirt, long white pants and white high heel shoes completed the look. Her face was pale white and teal blushes were present on her cheeks. Her eyes consisted of white pupils and dark blue sclera. Perched on her head was a black spiked crown. She was the inverted, antithesis of Charlie, the princess of Hell in a parallel world.

 “For all my life, I’ve been taught that all angels have good inside them. But I know that to be a lie. Ever since Lucifer and Lilith, God’s closest angels betrayed Him… I don’t think I can believe in these flawed teachings anymore…”

 The princess was Coerciona Egnam, Coercia for short. She was born and raised in Heaven…though she was not at all one would expect her to be in such a place. Self-entitled and pessimistic, nothing much could cheer her up except heavy metal music, rebelling against the rules and the occasional brawl.

 “It makes sense that only a worthy few are able to be here in Heaven. Choosing them out of the sea of sinner scum. Yet ironically, even the saints and Heaven-born aren’t flawless all the time. It’s inevitable that all those imperfect beings will go to Hell. They deserve to deal with suffering and challenges. Best of all, they wouldn’t be bound by social expectations. Heck, I wouldn’t be too surprised if it were me. I do enjoy my comfortable life here, just not these restrictions.”

 Her servants Pub and Chub were fat white naked cherubs with horns on their heads, small white feathery wings, and black eyes. One tested the strings on an electric guitar while the other shot out torpedoes from a small cannon.

 Outside was a white clock tower standing tall against the blue sky. The numbers read 0 then changed to 365 days. Writing above the numbers read “Days until the next cleanse in Hell.”

 The black Exorcists did their job in eliminating part of the demon population in 2P Hell like they did every year in the canon Hell. But at the same time each year, the Anti-Exorcists, risen white demons with white bat wings and horns, invaded 2P Heaven. They carried glowing black pitchforks and turned innocent denizens into demons. The Anti-Exorcists would carry books and tempt angels with their innermost desires. Sex, sin, self-expression, sorcery, whatever that need was. Then, once they were hooked, they were stabbed with the pitchforks, causing their wings to burn off and sending them plummeting down to Hell. Nearby families would grieve at their loss.

 It was quite the entertaining show for Princess Coercia!

  Coercia leaned against the marble balcony and began to sing in a low growl.

     (“I’m Always Evading Shadows”)

  “At the end of the journey, there’s suffering

Denying it, how often I’ve tried

But my life’s a disgrace

Just a slap in the face

And the harsh truths have all been denied”

 “A sliver of despair in this world of light

I know this world’s not free of sin

I search for the good

But get misunderstood

And reality will always win”

 “Why have I always been imperfect?

Lost in this brainwashed sea

I wonder if the world’s to blame

I wonder if it could be me”

 “I’m always evading shadows

Trapped, drowning in the social flow

Free-will forbidden, my answers are hidden

Lying down below”

 “Some people sugarcoat their speeches

I always blab out what I mean

I may be cruel but I am no fool

Things are never what they seem

Believe me”

 “I’m always evading shadows

Waiting for people to awaken

In vain”

    A nearby portal opened and out came the Exterminators, bloodstains over their wings and bodies and harpoons. They took off their creepy LED masks, their white angelic faces revealed. One by one, the citizens clapped and cheered. One of the Archangels with four black wings flew up to the front, his spiked halo glowing. He took off his mask, revealing a white stern face with yellow eyes and short black hair. In his utility belt were a few daggers, whips, chains and a bottle of emergency holy water.

 “Another successful purge,” their leader Samael (Venom of God) praised. “You cleansed more sinners while still keeping the population in a good balance. Well done, all of you.” He cleared his throat and made a cross symbol over his heart. “For the greater good in the name of our Lord.”

 The angels repeated the phrase.

 “Until next year. Dismissed.” The Archangel soldiers saluted and then flew off separately to see their families. Several of the angels, having been brainwashed in their Exterminator states, shook their heads sadly at what they had done.

 All around Coercia, Holy City was basked in a heavenly glow. The city was located up in the sky among the clouds, but no one had to worry about falling, even the ones without their wings out. A large church with the appearance of the Notre Dame Cathedral stood proudly in the city square, made of polished marble. Choirs and songs floated through the stained glass windows as the regular angels went in and out to pray and visit with their neighbors. A large fountain sprouted non-alcoholic wine of a golden color. It had a white statue of Mary and Jesus as a young boy at the top, both with welcoming faces.

 The streets were spotless and clean. Roofs and roads were powered by the sun’s rays. The Cloud 9 supermarket had endless amounts of food for sale…no one ever had to worry about going hungry. Charity workers and volunteers worked by the dozens, passing out food and bestowing miracles for those who needed them in the lower levels of Heaven. Metatron, the highest ranking angel, was busy keeping records of human lives, deaths and the messages of God.

 This version of Heaven was very similar to the Heaven in the realm next door, the one above the familiar Hell with the Hazbin Hotel. The architecture was almost the same. But unlike those angels with their blonde hair and red blushes, these angels most often had black hair and teal blushes on their pale cheeks. Like in the other Heaven, some of the bipedal angels displayed animal-like characteristics: some had heads of doves, others had swan wings and mannerisms. Many of them had fur, ears, and fluffy tails of dogs and wolves. It was the only place where dogs and cats could dance and prance together without conflict. Still a few others had faces of flowers or even objects like harps and musical instruments.

 God’s Palace was the grandest place of all: it was settled at the highest point of Heaven like Mount Olympus. Only a few angels were allowed to visit there. God’s abode, the Empyrean, had an elite group of angels guarding it. Seraph angels with six fiery rainbow wings guarded the throne of God, chanting “Holy, holy, holy!” much to the annoyance to those nearby. There were rumors that in the palace gardens, the Tree of Life and the Tree of Knowledge were grown there, heavily protected.

 Lucius and Lilian were Coercia’s parents, those who took the place of Lucifer and Lilith after they were banished. They were named the new king and queen of heaven (Under God and a few Archangels), thus Coercia became the princess.

 Lucius had a white face, teal blushes on his cheeks and short dark hair. Lucius wore a gray suit with a dark blue bow tie and a black top hat with two white feathers attacked to the brim. Lilian’s hair was long and black, and she too had the teal blushes and typical angel features. She wore a golden halo crown and an elegant white sequined dress. Both had white wings which could turn black when they were angry or defensive.

 In a nearby movie studio, Valentine the butterfly producer, Nil the TV angel and Ashen, the doll angel sat together playing a board game. Despite liking old fashioned shows and the like, they still controlled much of Heaven’s technology and media. Iris, owner of an emporium, cried as she crossed out the name of her former female colleague, Francesca.

 Along the street, a red car stopped beside the sidewalk. A tall creature opened the car door and stepped out. The spider angel had a furry dark gray face and body, plus multiple slender arms: six in total. He wore tall boots, green gloves and a shirt with a teal bow-tie near the top. His shirt and sleeves had black and dark green stripes. Green dots resembling eyes were located under his eyes.

 “Thank you for the ride,” said the spider angel.

 “No problem, Devil Grit,” said the driver Sivart, a white furry owl guy wearing a top hat. He tipped his hat to him and drove away.

 Devil Grit walked over to a vending machine and bought himself a granola bar. He then gave it to a homeless guy leaning against the wall.

 He walked inside a building and onto a stage in an auditorium. His opponent was already standing nervously at his spot, a microphone rising from the ground and stopping in front of him.

 Sir Anguis was the nervous white snake. He had a white face with large slightly teal eyes with white pupils. He wore a white bow tie with a blue circle in the center below his thin neck. Surrounding his face on a flap of skin were bright teal eyes against dark purple. His suit was light gray with dark purple vertical stripes. Finally, he wore a large light gray top hat with a large green moving eye in the center.

 The crowd settled into their seats and the debate began.

 “Those other brave do gooders will do great with helping me with my presentation. Anyone want to try?”

 A couple of hands shot up. Mechanical eggs on robotic legs moved around to help out the white snake lord.

 “Oh thank you, my Nestlings,” he said.

 Air Anguis pushed a button and a presentation showed up on a screen titled “Heaven Economics and Invention Ideas.”

 “I don’t like to fight,” Sir Anguis said, clearing his throat, “and I’m super nervous up here…”

 The Nestlings rolled their eyes.

 Devil Grit glared at his cowardly opponent who then yelped, “Don’t look at me like that!”

 “Heaven doesn’t need any future technology,” Devil Grit argued as he stepped to his podium, “because we already have better things: friendships, food, and fun.”

 Sir Anguis glanced down nervously at his note cards and read from them. “At this rate I will persuade the entire East end of Holy City by night’s beginning. Or was it day’s end? And nothing, not a single beauty in this paradise of bliss, will be able to change my mind or escape the constrictive grasp of persuasive argumentation.”

 “Heaven will be ours, though it’s mine in my mind. And everybody will know the name of…”

 “Scared Snake,” said a female voice.

 “W-who said that?” Sir Anguis asked.

 “You ready for a debate, old man?”

 The voice belonged to Berri Blossom, the opposite of Cherri Bomb in Hell. She was a tall cyclops with black skin, with a single green eye with a black cross in the center. She wore a long dark green dress and white high heeled shoes. Her black skin was decorated in some areas near her shoulders with tiny teal specks. Her long hair was curly, blue at the top and black near the bottom. She pushed her thin dark rimmed glasses up to her face, looking at her organized set of notes in front of her.

 She walked over beside her academic partner Devil Grit. “Why don’t you play with your tinker toys somewhere else while I go over the logistics of divine law school?” She looked professional and poised. “Seven Reasons Why Heavenly Traditions Never Fail.”

 “You want to go, madam?” Sir Anguis asked, a spark of rebellion in him. He fiddled with a few gadgets before the well-dressed Nestling eggs…egged him on to continue. He flicked his hood back. “Well, let the battle for tenure and status begin!”

  A neon logo appeared on the screen, saying “777 News” surrounded by a halo. The names of the news cast appeared on the bottom of the screen.

 “Good afternoon, Holy City!” smiled a pale woman with short black hair, wearing a light blue dress. “I’m Catie Carejoy!”

 “And I’m Ron Wrench!” said the man next to her, wearing a business suit and who had a wrench for a head.

After discussing the weather, various humane societies, and legends on Earth, Catie continued, “The debate battle is underway between inventor and coward Sir Anguis and professional economics expert Berri Blossom. Coming up next, we have an exclusive interview with the daughter of His Majesty Lucius, who’s here to discuss her brand new passion-project! All that and more after the break!”

 Inside the break room, Phalla the romantic butterfly angel adjusted Coercia’s white bow tie. Nearby, a blue tinted sign read “No smoking.” Another sign read “In The Air” in large letters.

 “Okay, you remember what to say?” Phalla asked Coercia.

 “Yes, I’m ready,” Coercia stated.

 Phalla brushed her long black hair from her face, the ends of her black hair teal. Like Vaggie in Hell, Phalla’s thick hair extended down to her legs, giving her hair the appearance of moth wings. She had a glowing green cross over her right eye and her left eye was purple with a white pupil. A teal bow was perched on top of her head. Her skin was light gray and she wore a dark gray crop top with white Xs over her breasts. She also wore leggings, her right legging striped dark green and light gray, her left legging light gray.

 “Oh this is gonna be great!” Phalla squealed happily. “How about you make your speech sound more exciting?”

 “Come on, Phalla, I know what I’m going to say,” Coercia answered, crossing her arms.

 Phalla walked over to the pitcher of ambrosia punch on the table. Pub and Chub ate bagels from the table. Phalla got an idea. “Oh! What if you…”

 “Sing a song about it?” Coercia asked, with a roll of her eyes. “I’m not going to. This is serious!” She curled her hand into a fist and brought it down on the palm of her other hand. “They won’t take me serious if I start belting out some random song. Life isn’t a musical.”

 “But neither is it an emo tragedy,” Phalla pointed out. “Life is great, especially with all the cute guys around.” Her single purple eye shinned.

 “Romance, bleh,” Coercia made a face and Phalla giggled.

“Hey,” Phalla brightened, pulling out a piece of paper. “I have some ideas about what you could say.” She bounced up and down. “The highlighted bits are the best parts!”

 “They’re all highlighted,” Coercia replied, scanning the paper. “You call your childish drawing your ideas for me?”

 “Sure!” Phalla said. “Look here.” It showed a list of different terms “sinners = winners” “Misunderstood are still good” and “demons and angels party between worlds!” Skulls were lined up at the bottom of the page: “we’re all connected by death.”

 “Say, that’s actually pretty good!” Coercia said with a smile of sharp teeth.

 “Thanks!” Phalla beamed.

 Coercia snatched the piece of paper from her friend and tore it in half, much to her shock. “But you should know my ideas are always better.” She tossed the pieces of paper aside, gave a salute and walked out the door.

 Catie waved with a smile. “Hi. I’m Catie Carejoy.” She held out her hand but Coercia didn’t take it, instead remarking, “You can put that away. I don’t touch commoners, I have standards.” Catie, looked stunned, pulling her hand back. “So this project of yours, when did you come up with this idea of creating a hotel in order to…break the law as the rumors say?”

 The angel crew murmured nervously.

 “I’m gonna keep this short,” Coercia said as she walked over to the desk. “You might think my idea doesn’t hold water, but that doesn’t matter to me. I’m too influential to give a flying feather about what some stuffy old news lady thinks of my proposal.”

 The crowd gasped. Ron shook his head.

 “Well, if you can’t take constructive criticism and be polite…”

“…and we’re live!” called a voice as a buzzer sounded.

 “And we’re back!” Catie said, rushing over into her seat. “So, Carrie…”

 “It’s Princess Coerciona Egnam,” said Coercia, sitting in a chair beside her and Ron Wrench.

 “Sorry. So tell us about your project.”

 Coercia took a deep breath. “As most of you know, I was born here in Heaven, and growing up, I’ve always tried to see the good in everything around me. But recently, I don’t believe that’s always the case. We just completed another Extermination. So many sinful souls lost but for what reason? God said in the Commandments “thou shall not kill,” yet killing random people is okay? If we can’t even trust ourselves with our actions and thoughts, is Heaven truly paradise? Not to mention that ever since Lucifer and Lilith betrayed Him, we don’t know who to really trust. Some people are given too many chances!” She pounded her fist on the desk, startling Catie.

 Coercia stood up and made her way forward. “No one is truly flawless. Mistakes are made, but we get blamed for doing things we sometimes enjoy. Sex, drugs, partying, swearing, even violence. All because we don’t live up to impossible standards imposed upon us, both here and on Earth! I can’t stand idly by while the place I live is subjected to such lies and propaganda! So, I’ve been thinking…isn’t there a more liberating way to hinder forced compliance here in Heaven? Perhaps we can create an alternative way to express change through…recreation?”

 The angels talked quietly amongst themselves. Phalla nodded in appreciation.

 “Well I think yes,” Coercia continued. “So that’s what this project aims to achieve.” She walked back to the desk and sat down. “Ladies and gentlemen, I’m opening the first of its kind, a hotel that encourages moderate amounts of so-called sin!” She spread out her arms.

 The audience stared in stunned silence. Many of the adults were shaking their heads.

 “Who is that girl?” asked a dragon watching from inside a soup kitchen. “What’s her deal with trying to cause more trouble for this world?”

“She’s nuts!” added another angel with an eagle’s head and wings, wearing a suit.

 Coercia added nervously while still trying to keep a glare, “I figure it would serve a purpose…a place to work toward self-expression. Yay.”

 Among the crowd of angels watching the news outside, a tall man with a thin pale face stood toward the back. He wore a light blue dress suit, had blue and white hair, fluffy deer-like ears, and large blue eyes. His white wings were folded behind him. He watched the program with a look of worry. A deer creature made of light appeared beside him. A sign posted on the wall showing the same man as a DJ read: “Counseling and good times with the Techno Angel!”

 A camera man shook his head at Coercia. Phalla walked up to him and pleaded, “Please give her a chance.”

 Coercia sighed. “Look, I know every single one of you has insecurities and issues that need not be bottled up. If you could just embrace those sides of yourselves…”

Coercia then smirked. “Maybe I’m not getting through to you.”

 Phalla clapped her hands and “ooohed” in excitement as Rub and Chub got the electric guitar ready.

 Coercia showed a pair of sharp white teeth and black curved horns emerged from her head. Black feathery wings sprouted from her back and an X appeared over her right eye. A harpoon appeared in her right hand and a spiked halo appeared over her head.  She was in her dark angelic Exorcist form. She posed over the desk and began.

 (“Inside of Every Angel is a Sinner”)

  “I have a dream

I’m here to tell

About a fantastic mind-blowing hotel

One of a kind, go and yell

A great place to dwell

Catering to specific clientele”

 *Guitar starts and scream vocals*

 “Inside of every angel is a sinner

Inside of every do-gooder is a beast

Inside of every jolly go-lucky mentality

Is a subconscious portion we know the least”

 “Resist all the rules

You’re not passive fools!

With just a little time

Down at the Hazbin Hotel!”

 “So all you rescuers, priests, and heroes

Gifted athletes, jocks, and cheerios

And the sheep citizens, relief is here!

All of you angels, leaders, and stars

Traditionalists with fancy cars

And the activists on Mars

Show no fear

No taboos, no laws

Embrace your flaws

You’ll be truly free

Check in with me

It’s the right path, you’ll see”

 “There’ll be no more pressure

And no more status quo

Just friendship, fun, and endless bags of dough

Establishment put to rest

You’ll be like, “Yes!”

In the tunnel of darkness you’ll go!”

 “So all your hierarchies, GMOs, politics, and isms

Lectures, labor standards, and diamond studded prisms

Ancient Indian elitisms

All must die”

 “All you fantasizers, artists, servers, and lords

Spoiled children, winners of awards

Imposers of chores

Face your fear!”

  “Be who you are

And you’ll go so far

Our service will raise the bar

You’ll be the star

Come from near or afar at the Hazbin Hotel!

Yeah!”

  “Wow,” said an angel in a top hat. “That was…alright.”

  The crowd clapped half-heartedly.

  Catie shook her head. “What in the Nine Levels makes you think a single denizen of Heaven would give two feathers about becoming a sinful person? You have no proof that your little experiment even works! You want people to disobey God and the rules just…because?!”

 Coercia lifted up her head. “Well, we have a patron already who believes in our cause.”

 “And who might that be?” Catie asked.

 “Oh just someone named…Devil Grit.”

 “The grumpy old spider?” asked Ron Wrench.

 “He’s not old,” argued Catie. “He just acts older than he is.”

 “Anyway,” said Catie to Coercia. “You couldn’t even get that guy to do something bad, even if a gun was pointed at his head.”

 “Oh I beg to differ,” Coercia argued. “He’s been troubled, dirty, and having conflicted thoughts for two weeks now.”

 “Breaking news!” called a voice as the screen changed to a recent debate shown in a building.

 The news came on, detailing Devil Grit and his recent TED talk about the 7 Heavenly Virtues.

 “Well, it looks like the one discussing the Heavenly Virtues is none other than…conservative Devil Grit! What a coincidence!”

 She and Ron did a “ratings!” and jazz hands.

 Corceria rolled her eyes.

 “I’m sorry to say, but it looks like your plan’s departed on arrival,” said Catie. “I hope you learned a good lesson here.”

 Coercia’s eyes twitched, her teeth barred. “Lesson?! I’ll teach you a lesson, bitch!”  The princess and Catie fought fist and claw on the desk. Ron called for security.

 After Coercia was kicked out, Phalla followed her wordlessly to the white limo. Devil Grit, Phalla, and Coercia rode back to the hotel.

 Devil Grit lounged in the far seat, wearing an outfit of black with green stripes and green gloves on his four hands.

 “Devil,” said Phalla with concern. “I know you were trying to do good by doing your professional speech. But could you please try not to help society in public? Now people won’t believe us when Coercia says that people are free to express their earthly desires.”

 “I’m sorry Phalla,” said Devil from the other seat, “But I have a reputation to keep up. Helping the greater good is His plan for all of us. Besides, a good professional debate is a reasonable form of self-expression right?”

 “Not to everyone,” said Phalla. “What about the hotel? People are thinking that you don’t care about Coercia’s project at all.”

 “I do care, senorita,” said Devil. “I just don’t think it’s going to be easy to accomplish in such a short time. So many angels are fixated on tradition, myself included.”

 “I do appreciate all of your help,” said Coercia, still fuming after the interview, arms crossed. “But I will make this project work, even if I have to do it myself.”

 The white limo pulled up in front of the hotel, a pristine building made of glass and marble. The group got out of the car and stepped inside.

 White wings made of rainbow scales posed as part of the structure on the roof. The stained glass windows by the door were decorated with apples, a tree of life, and many shades of blue and green. The sign above read “Hazbin Hotel” in big letters on the roof. Inside the lobby, a painting of Adam reaching toward God was displayed on the high ceiling. The hotel had seven floors with seven rooms on each floor. There was even a lab down in the basement which belonged to a man named Baker, the opposite of the demon fish scientist Baxter from Hell. A bowl of blue berries and blue raspberries sat on a table below a welcome banner. Phalla rested on a couch while Devil Grit munched on a granola bar.

 “It’s probably a good idea to stock up some more food in this place,” said Devil Grit. “Good or bad, people always seem to be greedy when they’re hungry.”

 Devil Grit pulled out a chart and went over probabilities and graphs regarding the hotel and the potential number of visitors. Coercia just sighed and walked away toward the door. She went outside and took out her cell phone, calling her mom.

 “Carol cakes!” called her mother through the phone. Coercia cringed.

 “Mom, I told you not to call me that! I’m not a little kid anymore.”

 “Sorry, I can’t help it,” said Lilian with a giggle. “How was the interview?”

 “Meh. It was alright. I proposed my idea, but nobody seemed to buy it.”

 Lilian’s tone turned more serious. “Coercia, why do you insist that everyone must go down to that horrible place? Why can’t you just see the good in people?”

 “Because,” Coercia said, “Everyone has flaws and they don’t realize it.”

 “Yes, but that also applies to you, too. Before you get involved with the lives of others, you need to look inside and critique yourself.”

 “I’m a princess. Everyone else has more flaws than I do.”

 Lilian let out a long sigh. “Young lady, we’ve been through this I don’t know how many times. You have to push your selfish thoughts aside and just accept the way things are. It’s part of a higher purpose.”

 “And what is this “higher purpose” anyway? To be His flock of dazed sheep, dancing around without any care in the world? To not experience ecstasy and adventure, even for just a moment?”

 “That stuff is dangerous and forbidden. Thousands of souls would do anything to get up to this level of Heaven. And you just want to throw your life away?”

 Coercia paused in thought. “If it means proving myself and serving Him in a way I see fit, then so be it.”

 “You have delusions of what entertainment and happiness is, Carol. Sometimes, you need to take the time and appreciate the beauty that’s in front of you.”

 “Other than my own refection, I don’t really see beauty in many other things. Well, heavy metal and watching battles…oh and watching sinners beg for their last breaths…”

 “You have a lot to learn, dear daughter,” Lilian replied. “I’ll leave you alone to think about it.”

 “Whatever.”

 “Love you.”

 “Love you too. Bye.”

  Coercia hung up and went back inside, shutting the door behind her. She leaned against the door frame, closing her eyes in frustration…trying to hold back a stream of tears from the stress.

 ��Just then, there was a knock on the door. Two knocks, four ones, then a last one. Coercia turned around with a sigh to answer it. She swung the stained glass door open. From outside stood a tall slender man with a pale light gray face, wearing a light blue pinstriped dress coat. A white upward cross was part of the design on his light blue undershirt. He was carrying a modern microphone atop a staff in his left hand. His small antlers were white and his hair and deer ears were blue with white tips. A monocle rested under his left eye. Coercia narrowed her eyes.

 “Hi, excuse me…” he spoke quietly. “Is this…”

 Coercia angrily slammed the door in his face.

 She opened it again.

 “…the right address?” finished the man.

 “No!” she shouted, slamming it again.

 “Hey Phalla!” called Coercia.

 “What?” her friend asked.

 “The crybaby Deer Man is at the door!”

 “What?!” she asked, blushes appearing on her cheeks.

 “Who?” asked Devil Grit.

 “What should I do?”

 “Well…let him in!” Phalla cried, eye shining.

 Coercia rolled her eyes and scoffed. She sighed and opened the door again.

 “May I talk now?” the man asked in a radio voice.

 “Sure, whatever,” Coercia said.

 The man held out a white gloved four-fingered hand. “Rotsala, it’s a pleasure to meet you, miss.” He walked in. Worry was etched on his face. “I saw your interview on the picture show and I was worried sick! I was afraid you were never coming back after your argument. Why I haven’t been that upset since the 1929 Stock Market Crash!” He sniffed, “So many poor orphans…”

 “Hello there!” Phalla called with a smile, staring up and walking in front of him. She greeted in Spanish. “I’m so glad you’re here to help out my friend with this new hotel! I’m a big fan of yours and just being in your presence is just…” She swooned. “Oh just take me already you cute, pompous, talk show, blueberry pimp lord!”

 She embraced him and he stood stunned, his face blushing. “I do love hugs,” he whispered as she stepped back. “I bet all of you would be so nice and soft after we get to know each other for a while…”

 Phalla blushed while Devil Grit and Coercia made disgusted faces. “Not gonna happen, creep,” Devil Grit said.

 Rotsala gave a nervous laugh, and popped a strawberry and blueberry into his mouth.

 “You’re not gonna cling to us are you?” Phallas asked. “Or, you know…”

“Dear, if I wanted to screw anyone here…I would’ve done so already.”

 Rotsala tilted his head. His blue eyes briefly glowed with blue upside down radio dials in them. Electricity sparked around cyan colored voodoo symbols in the air. His eyes filled with tears, tears spilling down his pale gray cheeks.

 Phalla watched in bliss, while Devil and Coercia rolled their eyes at the show-off.

 Rotsala shook his head and his eyes returned to normal blue.

 “No, I’m here because I want to relax and help out.”

 “Say what?” Coercia asked, eyebrow raised.

Rotsala held up his staff which glowed blue. He said with a sad crack in his voice, “Goodbye, is this thing off?”

 He tapped it. A blue sad looking eye appeared in the center of the microphone. It spoke in a mechanical voice. “You’re silent, quiet and unclear!”

 “That’s your motivation motto every day?” Devil Grit asked, crossing his four arms. “Pathetic!”

 “Tragic and mysterious, I love it!” Phalla squealed. “It’s like the opposite of announcing. It’s…denouncing.”

 Devil Grit elbowed her. “Hun, could you not get attracted to every other man you see?  I’m your boyfriend.”

 “I can’t help it, love!” she cried. “I just get so distracted easily.”

  “Um…you want to help?” Coercia asked.

 Rotsala appeared behind them after morphing into light.

 “With…” he spoke in her growl then his normal shy sounding voice, “…this random thing you’re trying to do. This hotel. I want to help you run it, if that’s okay.”

 “Uh…why?”

 Rotsala choked a bit on his words. “Why doesn’t anyone do anything? Sheer absolute lethargy! I’ve been partying around and keeping busy for decades. I would like to do something more relaxing and easier.”

  “My work became overwhelming, lacking focus. I’ve come to crave a new form of disengagement!”

 Coercia rolled her eyes. “Does getting into a fist fight with a reporter count as disengagement?”

 “No,” Rotsala said. “It’s violent and messy, not really my thing. Life is truly strange…reality, fantasy, true tragedy. After all the world is a grave, and the grave is a world of disengagement!”

 Coercia brightened a bit. “So, does this mean you think it’s possible to taint an angel? That life is meaningless without your own self to temporarily control it.”

 Rotsala sniffed and held up a hand. “Who knows? Anything’s possible. Sinning, oh the vice of humanity! I think there’s plenty left that can change such marvelous saints. But then again, the chance that was given to them was the life they lived before. The reward is this!” He spread out his arms. “According to God, there’s no undoing what is done…or at least that’s the way it should be.”

“So then, why do you want to help me if you don’t fully believe in my cause?” Coercia asked.

 Rotsala turned around to look at her. “Consider it an investment in ongoing knowledge for myself and others.” He let out a small smile. “I want to watch the blessed of this world struggle to give into temptation, only to repeatedly realize and raise themselves up the golden ladder of success!” His eyes glowed blue.

 “Right…” Coercia began.

 “Yes indeed,” Rotsala said, both of them walking off to the side. “I see you taking risks and who better to keep you grounded than I.”

 “Ah, so what’s the deal with Mr. Frown over there?” Devil Grit asked.

 “Wait, you’ve never heard of him before?” Phalla asked. “You’ve been here longer than me!”

 Devil shrugged his shoulders.

 “The Techno Angel, one of the most complex beings Heaven as ever seen?”

 “Eh, I’m not too big on people.”

 Phalla sighed and leaned in close to explain.

 “Decades ago, Rotsala manifested in Heaven, seemingly in one day. He began to catch the attention of overlords and archangels who had kept to themselves for centuries. That kind of attraction and magic power had never been harnessed by a mortal soul before. Then, he broadcast his adventures all throughout Heaven just so everyone could experience some joy, tragedy and emotions. Saints starting calling him the Techno Angel, (as unoriginal as that is). Many have speculated what unimaginable force enabled him to rival our world’s most ancient and constructive heroes. But one thing’s for sure: he’s an unpredictable source of silliness, a depressed spirit of mystery and a loving being of order…or disorder, the likes of which we can get involved in, especially if we want to end up aroused!”

 “You done?” Devil asked. “He looks like a blueberry businessman. Or a shady con-man. Either way, you’re delusional.”

 “Well, I trust him completely!”

 “Do you blindly trust any man? All men?”

 Phalla skipped over to Coercia. Rotsala examined a family portrait of Lucius, Lilian and a young Coercia in the center. Young Coercia wore a white dress with a turquoise top to it. Her hair was jet black, braided in black barbed wire, her cheeks had teal blushes. Her mother had long black hair and wore a fancy white dress and a round gold crown. Her father was dressed in a dress suit of white and blue, with blue and black stripes in the center below a white bow tie. He wore a large light gray top hat with a dove and a green apple on it. His cane also had a green apple on the top. Both of them were smiling, showing rows of sharp teeth, white wings folded behind them.

 “Coercia, listen to me, you can believe this dreamer. He isn’t just a sad face. He’s a miracle maker, pure good! But… don’t count on him to believe in your cause. He could be tainted and rebel, but we don’t know that. He could very well side with God and your parents. And he’s most likely looking for a way to hinder everything we’re trying to do if it means following God’s rules. But still, give him a chance. He’s really sweet.”

 “I…” Coercia began. “…we don’t know that. Look, he’s a crying bitch, and he probably doesn’t want to change.”

 Phalla put her hands on her friend’s shoulders.

 “The whole point of your hotel is to give people a chance! To have faith things will be better and people can embrace their flaws, their true selves! How can you turn someone away? You can’t. It goes against everything you’re trying to do. Everything you believe in.”

 Coercia looked downcast. Her friend had a good point. She hated when people made good arguments against her. But it also gave her a chance to consider her thoughts. Phalla kept her grounded and added some cheer to her overall fake afterlife. Coercia smiled at her.

 “You take care of yourself,” she said to Phalla.

“Coercia,” warned Phalla, “Unless you are serious about responsibility, do not make a promise with him!”

 Demons often made deals with each other that often resulted in gaining power at the cost of one’s soul or freedom. Usually the one who initiated the deal would gain advantage. A demonic deal was bad in and of itself. Breaking an angelic promise could result in rejection, eternal torture and damnation.

 “Don’t worry,” said Coercia. “I learned one thing from my dad.” She mimicked his low voice, “Ya don’t break trust with other angels!”

 Coercia marched over to the Techno Angel.

 “Ok Mr. Rot... You’re prissy as fuck, and you clearly see what I’m trying to do here is a too-dangerous risk. But I don’t.”

 Glowing blue symbols briefly appeared around a concerned Rotsala, then vanished.

 Coercia continued. “I think everyone deserves a chance to prove they can be themselves. After all, it’s in their nature and the sooner they realize it, the better. So, I’m taking your offer to help. On the condition there be no lessons or lovey-dovey speeches made.”

 Rotsala twirled his cane and held out his smallest finger from his right hand.

“So, it’s a promise, then?”

 The room was surrounded by a pink aura as light spirits roamed around the walls. The wind blew against Phalla’s and Devil’s faces.

 “Nope!” Coercia yelled, holding out her hands. The energy stopped. “No shaking, no promises! I…hmmm…”

 She paused in thought.

 “As Princess of Heaven and heir to the throne, I hereby order that you help out with this hotel for as long as you desire.”

 A moment of pause…

 “Sound fair?”

 “Fair enough,” Rotsala said with a slump of his shoulders and walked on. His cane vanished.

 Rotsala stopped and spotted Phalla to the side.

 Phalla went up and tickled him under the chin, much to his shock.

 “Smile, deer man!” she said.

 Rotsala walked on, speechless.

  “So…where is your hotel staff?” Rotsala asked Coercia.

 “Uh well,” Coercia began. Rotsala peered at Phalla through his monocle below his left eye.

 He stuttered. “You’re going to n-need more than that.”

 Rotsala walked over to Devil Grit, who was sitting on a stool.

 “And what can I do, my business fellow?” asked Rotsala walking over to the dark furred spider, blushing.

 “You can suck a dick,” Devil retorted in a grumpy tone.

 “AH! Ok,” said Rotsala, blushing and stepping back. “Can it be yours?”

 “Fuck off,” Devil added, pulling out a long knife from his belt.

 Rotsala summoned his cane. “Well this just won’t do. You want others to cause trouble, yes? I suppose I can cash in a few favors to deaden things up!”

 He snapped his fingers and the wall beside the fireplace cracked. The circle went dark, the fire going out. Ice cold water appeared to fill in the circle and a shadowy figure solely formed inside. Rotsala walked over and removed the dripping figure from the water. A large single purple eye was revealed.

 Devil Grit, Phalla and Coercia peered at the creature. With a balloon deflating sound and a puff of white smoke, the figure was revealed.

 “This little rascal is Klutzy!” Rotsala announced with a worried smile, dropping the figure.

 A black-skinned short cyclops female landed on her face on the floor. She stood up with a grumpy look on her face. She wore a dark green skirt with a white stray cat off to the left side. Her arms and legs were white and stick-shaped. Several blue dots stood out from the lighter green color of her skirt. Her shirt was black with cyan paint spots off to the right. Her large eye took up much of her pale white face; it was dark blue with a white pupil. Her short hair was teal with a dark blue spot off to the left.

 “I’m Klutzy,” she grumbled, clenching her fists. “It’s a waste of time to meet you. It’s been a while since I’ve seen strangers.”

  Her pupil narrowed from side to side.

 “Why are you all men?” she asked. “Have any women here? Or video games? Screw this place.”

 She briefly picked up Coercia, then let go.

 “Oh man, this place is boring!” she exclaimed. She ran over to a vase and proceeded to knock it over with her elbow. It shattered to pieces on the floor. She tossed couch cushions aside.

 “It really needs a more manly touch, disorganized clutter’s more fun.” She grinned as she poured dirt from a flower pot onto the rug.

 “Yes, yes, yep, yeah!” she yelled as she proceeded to break windows and knock down more stuff. Then she plopped down on a couch once the room was messy. “I’m bored. Make me some food or something.”

 Phalla, Devil, and Coercia looked on in worry, Rotsala just stared off into space. “She has quite the temper sometimes.”

 A cat angel was working on a Rubik’s cube with colleagues. His furry face was black, framed by white fur. His little top hat was white with a blue band across it. A big teal bow tie was under his neck, over his black furry chest framed by white fur. His wings were a brilliant blue, with black and red mathematical symbols on either side: the pi symbol, E = mc squared, signs for addition, subtraction, multiplication and division, among others. More symbols were visible within his two pointed ears. His teeth were sharp and purple and his long eyebrows were teal. His eyes were purple and sclera white. The angel placed a Rubik’s cube in front of him. “Ha!” he declared in triumph. Read ‘em and weep, boys! Full…whoa…”

 He felt himself being transported in a flash of light to the hotel. Part of the science room that the cat had been in was merged with the hotel lobby…posters of the elements, the solar system and Biblical works of art.

 “What in Heaven’s name is going on?

 Then he brightened when he saw Rotsala. “You!”

“Ah, Core, my old friend,” Stalaro sniffed, his head briefly looking like it was in between antlers from a stuffed deer head on the wall. “You made it.”

 “Glad to see you, you son of the sun!” Core said. “I just completed my Rubik’s cube after just an hour.”

 The cube vanished as Rotsala looked on.

Core raced over to Rotsala and embraced him in a side hug. The deer-like man blushed. “So, what can I help you with this time?”

 Rotsala blinked nervously. “C-Can we snuggle?”

 Core laughed. “I mean, seriously, why’d you bring me here?”

 “My friend, I’m doing some dirty work, so I took it upon myself to volunteer your services. If that’s okay?”

 “You must be joking,” Core said, laughing nervously.

 “I don’t think so,” he replied.

 “You thought it’d be a great idea just to pull me out of nowhere? You think I’m some kind of tragic boy?”

 “Maybe,” Rotsala sighed, as crying sounds came from his microphone.

 “I ain’t doing no dirty work.”

 Rotsala appeared behind him. “Well I figured you would be the perfect face to greet and critique the guests at this fine establishment.”

 He pointed his staff off toward a stand with vegetable drinks as claps and boos sounded from his staff.

 “With your grumpy cat face and love of solitude…”

 Core lifted up the corners of Rotsala mouth with his paws. “Aw come on, Al, Don’t forget to smile once in a while!”

 His mouth frowned once he let go.

 Rotsala walked over to the stand. “Don’t worry, my friend. I can make this more interesting…if you wish.”

 He conjured up a bottle of catnip with his finger.

 Core stared with wide happy eyes. “What, you think you can buy me with sad eyes and some cheap catnip? Well, you can!” He purred and took the bottle with him.

 Coercia, Devil, and Phalla arrived.

 “Yes, yes, yes!” Phalla squealed. “Brilliant idea to have healthy drinks!”

 “No!” Coercia protested. “This is supposed to be a place that encourages sin! Not some kind of, frilly, Zen, child’s play…”

 Core noticed Devil Grit and slid up to him. “Hey cutie,” he flirted.

 “Go screw yourself,” muttered Devil Grit.

 “Only if you watch me,” Core joked. “Or more likely, Rotsala will watch you.”

 Coercia leaned in close to Core. “Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel! You are going to go insane here!” She grinned, her teeth sharp.

 “We’re all mad here,” Core replied, sniffing the catnip.

 Rotsala walked in, an ever-present frown on his face. “S-so, what do you think?”

 Rotsala ran over to him. “This is horrible!” she spat.

 “It’s amazing!” Phalla beamed.

 Phalla leaned in close between Coercia and Rotsala, embracing them in a hug.

 “This is going to be very disengaging,” Rotsala exclaimed. Dubstep sounds emitted from his mouth as he stared around with worry. He stepped away from Phalla. “Coercia, I can’t lose you. We can’t lose you.”

 Rotsala changed his light blue suit into a dark blue funeral outfit with a matching top hat. He did the same with Coercia, Devil Grit, Core, Klutzy, and Phalla, who were all wearing black clothing from the early 1900s. Coercia wore a short tan flapper dress and a round matching ladies’ hat. She and Klutzy stared at their outfits in disgust, while Devil Grit, Core and Phalla smiled as they stared at theirs. The room changed, the walls now covered with Voodoo symbols, Christian crosses and deer antlers.

 “Take it boys,” Rotsala said. Light spirits appeared and played violins, a piano, and a flute in a sad symphony.

 Rotsala sang his reprise to Coercia as they did a slow dance. Coercia looked annoyed but Rotsala smiled.

  (“Stalaro’s lament Reprise”)

 “You’re on a mission

Your innocence fell

And it’s so dangerous but hey, I wish you well

Yes your blunt protests

Will send you straight to Hell

And I can’t bear to see you banished, or your soul up to sell”

  “Don’t bring your life to an end

No matter what you say, I’m still your friend

We all have our wounds to mend

And you’re vulnerable feelings are real, don’t pretend”

 “Inside of every angel is love and emotion

They have values and lasting devotion (devotion to God)

While you recruit those around

Don’t be swallowed by the ground

The authorities can retrieve you tight and bound (no turning around)”

 “Here above the sky

Spread your wings and fly

They’ll spend a little time

Down at this Haven Ho…”

  An explosion rattled the windows. Klutzy saw a door flying toward her face and she broke it in half with a karate chop.

 The room and everyone’s clothing returned to normal.

 Everyone looked outside and saw a podium in the air, held up by flying metallic eggs. A familiar snake debater appeared.

 “Look who it is harboring the striped annoying opponent! We meet again, Rotsala!”

 “Do I know you?” Rotsala asked.

 Tears came to Anguis’ eyes. “Oh yes, you do! Watch this presentation!”

 The eggs danced in the air, singing a song about Sir Anguis trying his best to rule Heaven. He read from notecards. “You all can’t compete with me. Your hotel sucks. I…shall…destroy it…with… my…”

 Rotsala giggled and blushed. “Your baby weiner havor?”

 Anguis looked up from his cards in anger. “Not like that, pervert!”

 Rotsala snapped his fingers. A portal appeared and white tentacles shot out, knocking the podium off balance. The metal eggs knocked into Sir Anguis and he yelled, “Ow that hurt! Show mercy!”

 Rotsala used a drop of his blood and the podium exploded in green smoke.

 Sir Anguis emerged from the crater, arm shaking, fangs shattered. Rotsala waved a hand and the snake was healed.

 “Shoot me with your ray gun,” said a metal egg beside him. Sir Anguis face-planted on the ground.

 Rotsala looked on, sadly while everyone else stared, stunned.

 “Anyone hungry?” Rotsala asked turning around. “Please don’t make me cook jambalaya. It’s way too spicy and it nearly killed me! I much prefer tea and sugared strawberries, oh the way they melt in my mouth… but anyway, you could say the kick brought me straight into Heaven.”

 Rotsala lead the way back to the hotel, the group following him.

 “Yes sir, new changes are about to take place. Now…”

 Rotsala waved his finger at the lit up sign above the glass, gem-encrusted building on the roof.

 The sign changed from “Hazbin Hotel” to “Haven Hotel.”

 “Stay tuned.” He finished with low whimpers.

[forged-through-trials]

The city is pretty huge. It was kind of overwhelming. I could honestly have spent hours just looking up at that skyline and or walking the streets. But there was no time for that. I had to make the rounds; I brewed tons of Restore Fatigue pots, and I was going to sell them off and rake in the Septims! And when that was done, I was doing to find a proper job!

First Customer: Augusta Calidia, hostess of the Tiber Septim Hotel. Huh, strange name for an inn. Wouldn’t that be kind of like a private business in Morrowind calling themselves the ‘Vivec Inn’? Though I suppose if it was located in Vivec City that would make some amount of sense. Which just reminds me that “Septim City” would’ve been a better name for this place. The ‘S’ sounds just slide off the tongue! Trials: “Anything of interest to do in town?” Augusta: “There are plenty of sights to see, and plenty of places to shop, but the Watch frowns on brawling and adventuring in the city.” Trials: “...’adventuring’?” Augusta: “It’s what we call ‘being blackout drunk’.” Trials: “Oh!” I blinked once. “So where can someone go ‘adventuring’ around here?”

While I walked the city streets, I saw these wanted posters all over the place.

“The Gray Fox”. Wanted for... arson, grand-theft, and jay-walking. Sounds like my kind of customer. ‘Cause, hey, if I could go back to Morrowind and rob my old master blind, I would without a second thought!

The next stop was the King and Queen Tavern. A very classy name for a pretty classy joint. There was even a big throne in one corner, probably for special guests. The proprietor, “Ley Marillin”, spoke of an old elf in the Talos Plaza District, named “Umbcano” who collects Ayleid artifacts. If I come across any, I should probably look that old elf up.

From a classy kind of place, to a dive, as my next stop was Luther Broad’s  Boarding House. Sounds like the last stop for poor folks before they end up on the street. So, basically, the perfect place for a homeless drifter, like me!

Proprietor Lurther Broad wasn’t the talkative type at first, but I buttered him up until he opened up about some rumors he’d heard, possibly from the kind of lowlifes that frequent a dive like his. Luther: “Daedric shrines nearby? I know of two. North of the city, south of Bruma, east of the Silver Road, is a Mephala shrine. East of the city, at the head of the Red River, is a shrine to Vaermina.” Trials: “Huh... you make it sound like there’s something dangerous to those shrines.” Luther: “Daedra worship is legal here in Cyrodiil, but many people are... nervous about the topic.” Trials: “Can’t imagine why. I grew up in Morrowind, and they worship Daedra there out in the open. No one sees anything wrong with it. So you heartlanders really need to loosen up a bit. It’s not like the world is going to be plunged into chaos by Daedra Worshipers or something!” No chance that statement is going to age like milk. Nope. I foresee no troubles of that nature, at least not in my lifetime!

The Market District was big, and likely the most crowded part of the city I’d yet seen.

I know a lot of my scrolls detailing any cave-diving have been very dark and hard to see, so I thought that, for the sake of my readers, I should seek out a spell of Night-Eye. So I stopped by one of the Market District’s magic shops, this place in particulars. The “Mystic Emporium”. Sounds like a ‘Big Box Store’ of magic.

I met the owner, “Calindil”. He was very much all business. “Look and buy. Nothing could be easier,” he’d said, on introduction. I did pick up that new spell... only to find I couldn’t use it! I tried... and nearly burned my retinas out as I screwed up the spell. Eyes bloodied and weeping, I turned to Calindil and asked about help learning to master the spell. Calindil: “The majority of magic-trainers in the city are within the Arcane University, and you’re not getting in there without being accepted as a Mages Apprentice.” Trials: “Rats!” Calindil: “However, there is old Dovyn Aren, in the Elven Gardens District. He’s retired now, but still trains on occasion. You could try there.” Trials: “Hey, thanks! Oh... have you anything for stinging, dry eyes?” Calindil: “No. Also, try not to drip on anything on the way out, okay?”