If the batkids had a podcast. Part. XX
Spoiler: (nervous laugh) So this is a special episode–
Harley: Hello Gotham!
Red Robin: Don't– Don't get so fucking close to the mic.
Harley: Don't tell ME what to do Midnighter Jr.
Red Robin: Haha you're so fun– Fuck you
Spoiler (laughing): But you do look like Midnight–
Red Robin: Spoiler–
Nightwing: We're being held hostage.
Harley: Oh, cmon– Okay. It's not– It is not hostage if I'm not actively hurting you. Right Hood?
Redhood: Take this fucking gun out of my face.
*Bernard and Tim just broke up but they need Tim’s help with an investigation*
Damian: Why can’t we do it right now? What’s going on?
Dick: Because we have to help him get over Bernard.
Jason: I mean, like you said, if he gets his vibe back we can crack this case.
Tim(with his head facedown on the table): Please, stop caring about me.
Jason: What was with the discowing look? Besides being tacky, you've got your chest exposed. We live on the East Coast Dickhead!
Dick: Well you see-
Tim: It's simple. A hoe don't get cold
Since in #7 Bernard Dowd is seen to want to be a Chef and I've had culinary arts schooling this is my list of oddly specific things pertaining to that. Use it as you want (just from my experience)
Having a callous on the base of your pointer fringer of your dominate hand from using a chef knife
Funky patterned chef pants
DISHES NEVER END
when you are moving with a hot pan or heavy items ect you tell everyone like HOT PAN! BEHIND. GOING AROUND THE CORNER. BEHIND!
small batches are cute but in a restaurant/bakery/etc you're doing big batches in industrial ovens and mixers. A batch of bread dough we made had 12lbs of flour and like a half gallon of water.
Culinary arts isn't just making food it's doing math, converting recipes, going over OSHA rules and restaurant regulations
After awhile you have enough knowledge to the point where you see a recipe on the internet and go "hey... I can make that. Like really easily" like you can just make curry or scallion pancakes or fancy food
You will notice the shitty knife cuts in like pre cut packages of fruit and veg at the store
You're not allowed to have nail polish or false nails (unless you want to wear gloves all the time)
You start to realise how easy it's is to do somethings for yourself. Like you can just buy a chicken and break it down yourself or make stock at home
Their will be at least one class day where you cut onions all day and leave in tears because everyone is literally cutting onions
Sometimes stuff gets pushed back in the fridge or it's after break and the food has grew a putrid smelling mold. Cleaning it is part of culinary, it's...Fun
Everyday you wear chef pants, a chef coat, a closed toe non slip shoe and a chef hat.
Your hands will get chapped af because you're washing them all the time, lotion is your friend
You do refer to your head chef as 'Chef' or 'Chef ____' (or at least we did)
You will fuck up except it and move past it. (I once put too many chips in the fryer, it over flowed and we had to clean it up)
Kitchens get hot and you're wearing pants and a coat that are designed to protect you from like boiling water being pored on them, so drink water.
You will get cut/burned/stabbed/squished fingers it's part of the job just don't get bodily fluids on the food
You're standing like the whole time no matter what
You know that gallon conversation thing you learned in elementary? You will see that in your sleep. Gallon to quart to pint to cup. Also 8oz to a cup. 3t to a T. 16oz to a Pound ect it's ingrained into my head now
With a bit of knowledge you now know things and you can use it. Like add Xanthan Gum to a blended drink to emulsify it and it's just like Starbucks.
On the down side people want you to make things
You start wanting things for your kitchen like a KitchenAid or a portion scoop or dehydrator and having that feeds back into "I can make anything"
Figuring out exact prices for things is crucial and a pain. Like you have to take the price of baking soda and figure out how much a 1/4t costs. It's not horrible ig but when you're doing it for a whole recipe or menu it gets repetitive.
Ok that's all I'm putting you get the idea
If the Batkids had a podcast XlV
Redhood: YOU GONNA LOOK IN MY– lemme take this shit– YOU GONNA LOOK IN MY EYES AND TELL ME I'M WRONG? AM I WRONG?
Nightwing: YOU ARE (laugh)
Redhood: SUPERMAN IS STRONGER THAN WONDER WOMAN?
Nightwing: HE IS.
Redhood: You're fucking sexist–
Nightwing: I'M NOT SEXIS–
Redhood: You are! ( "I'M NOT" in the background) YOU ARE!
Nightwing: I'm sexist?! I'M SEXIST– (laugh) BECAUSE I THINK SUPERMAN IS STRONGER THAN WONDER WOMAN???
Redhood: Because he is a man–
Nightwing: "BeCAuSe hE Is A mA– He shoot laser. from. his eyes–
Redhood: SO WHAT–
Nightwing: SO WHAT?
Robin: My fucking god. You're both children–
Nightwing: Don't curse–
Redhood: Yeah don't fucking curse– SHE'S AN AMAZON–
Nightwing: HE IS MADE– (laugh) HE IS MADE OF STEEL–
Redhood: This is not even proven– It's a saying–
Nightwing: Hood– (laugh)
Redhood: Don't– Do not fucking "Hood" me–
Redhood: Stop fucking touching me– I'm going– I'm going to shoot you.
Nightwing: Hood he is literally made of steel– HE IS–
Redhood: I don't give a shit about what he's made of- She is fucking QUEEN OF THE AMAZONS–
Nightwing: MAN OF TOMORROW!
Redhood: Man of tomorrow my ass–
Nightwing: Alright (sound of electroshock in the back) You will not–
Red Robin: Put the fucking esgrima stick down– PUT– ROBIN
Robin: Don't look at me, I'm not gonna do shit.
Nightwig, still laughing: You will not disrespect Superman in my house–
Signal: You cannot be fucking serious– NIGHTWING–
Redhood: No let him do it– Do it– Do it pussy–