#reference : barba

[goodoldfashionedrazz]

Edit: Who knew all you had to do was post a bunch of Barba to get a few likes around here

[hadvarandralof]

best boy barbas :p

[iveneverbeenmorestressedinmylife]

Law and order svu is very much like ace attorney in the sense that every single character has to be accused of some crime at some point + face charges and go to trial + every few episodes the case/crime of the day just happens to be uncomfortably personal for a member of the main cast + both pieces of media portray tense relationships between lawyers (admittedly aa's focus on lawyers is way more intense than lao's). But also law and order svu is very much unlike ace attorney in the sense that in aa defense attorneys are the heroic carriers of justice who save innocents from the jaws of a corrupt justice system perpetuated by the equally corrupt prosecutors, while in law and order defense attorneys get portrayed as greedy assholes who are willing to do whatever they need to keep their clients (who are more often than not rapists and murderers) out of jail. Prosecutors in lao are of course portrayed as the Good Guys who fight for the victims and true justice. These two pieces of media are quite different in background, target audience, artistic direction etc etc etc but showcase an interesting dichotomy when it comes to portrayals of the legal system in pop culture. Another popular series that has a lawyer as its protagonist is of course, Better Call Saul but i haven't watched that so i don't have much to say about it (although i know that Saul falls under the sleazy "will do anything to get his client declared innocent" defense attorney category). Now of course the law, being a lawyer, being a defense attorney/prosecutor is in and of itself a neutral thing and this polarization portrayed in your average law related piece of media is needlessly dramatic. At the end of the day most lawyers are just doing their job wether they defend perfectly innocent clients, make sure that guilty parties get the representation they deserve in a court of law, or wether they prove guilty people guilty beyond a reasonable doubt and make sure that the victims and their families get the justice they seek. I forgot where i was going with this post.

[iobsessoverfictionalmen]

I'm midway through writing chapter 8 of the sequel to my mafia Rafael Barba AU. The name of the sequel is "The taste of revenge."

Frederick is a bit of a horny mess and Rafael is a schemer. I am so tempted to make this into a threesome fic.

This is the mood board that I've created for the fic.

[thirtysomethingloser92]

Bitter Sweet Symphony

Summary: When reader finds out she's pregnant, she quickly realises the only person who's truly there for her isn't the father of her baby, but in fact her partner; Sonny Carisi. Slow-burn, angst, friends to lovers. Chapter 1: Unforseen Circumstances.

“I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you,”

The bar was quiet but those words spoken by the man in front of you was the loudest thing you’ve ever heard. You watched as he scoffed slightly, gave a small smile and looked into the brown liquid in front of him, “I mean it, I thought I’ve loved people before but you,” He finally looked up and met your eyes, “I love you. With every part of my heart,” A smile broke out on your face, “Awh Rafael, I never knew you to be such a sap,” You joked, bumping your knee into the ADA’s own, “But I love you too,”

“Come on, pick up, please pick up,” You whispered as you sat on the white tiled floor. Your back against the cubicle door, facing the porcelain toilet in front of you. The phone once again diverted to message bank and you could have screamed. You felt the frustration build up in your chest as you felt the lump in your throat grow. Your call list showed the same phone number repeated every minute for what seemed like a lifetime, but your clock showed it was only twenty. The small device laying on the ground beside you made the lump grow thicker, it felt like you couldn’t breathe. You were so tired, your heart was about to jump out of your chest. Pregnant. 5+

You needed air, you needed to get out of the small cubicle and to think. You needed someone, you needed anyone. You needed him. “You in here?” You heard the familiar Staten Island voice call out. You had left your partner waiting by your desk with a rushed apology and an accidental shoulder bump. As the door creaked open, Sonny Carisi's eyes scanned the dimly lit restroom, searching for any sign of his missing colleague. His concern spiked as he spotted your figure huddled on the floor, phone abandoned beside you.

"Hey, what's wrong? What’s happened?" Sonny's voice was soft, laced with worry as he approached you cautiously. His heart sank at the sight of your distressed face, the anxiety evident in every line. For as long as he had known you, you had always had a strong façade. Whether it be in the face on a perp or a victim, you never showed your game face. He used to joke about being the poker champion due to him never being able to accurately guess how you were feeling but now as you looked up at him, eyes red-rimmed and swollen, and in that moment, he knew something was dangerously wrong. Without hesitation, Sonny dropped to his knees beside you, his hand reaching out to gently grasp yours.

"I've been trying to reach him," You choked out, your voice thick with emotion. "But he's not answering. I don't know what to do, Sonny,” Your throat tightened again, the panic bubbling in your chest, “I can’t do this without him, I don’t know what to do.” Sonny could see the tears well up in your eyes as you placed your face in your hands, trying to hold back the inevitable tears that were about to start flowing down your face. “Wha-what do you mean? What’s wrong?” He asked, his hand moving to your back, starting to rub small circles on it. His eyes drifted down to where the pregnancy test sat, his eyes widening slightly at the words written on it. “I’m pregnant and I don’t know what to do,” You sobbed out.

Sonny's heart clenched at the desperation in your tone. He knew who you were referring to, knew the significance of those unanswered calls. Rafael Barba, the man you loved, the father of your unborn child.

"Hey, hey," Sonny murmured soothingly, wrapping his arms around you in a comforting embrace. "We'll figure this out, okay? We can sort this out. We can sort everything out, But right now, let's get you off this floor and somewhere a bit more comfortable."

With Sonny's help, you rose unsteadily to your feet, leaning heavily against him for support. As you exited the restroom, Sonny kept a reassuring arm around your shoulders, guiding you back to your desk where your belongings lay forgotten.

"I'll drive you home," Sonny offered quietly, his gaze filled with unwavering support. "Or wherever you need to go. I’ll let Liv know you’re not feeling too well and I’m taking you home."

You nodded gratefully, feeling a rush of gratitude for your friend's unwavering presence in this moment of crisis.  As you gathered your things, you couldn't shake the overwhelming sense of fear and uncertainty that had settled over you like a suffocating blanket.

What if Rafael never answered your calls? What if he had left you alone to face this terrifying reality? It had been weeks since baby Drew and the trial, weeks since he had last seen you with a night of passion and a simple goodbye in the form of a kiss on the forehead, it had been weeks since you had even heard his voice. Was he avoiding you? Had you done something wrong? A part of you wondered if you should have reached out to his mother in case something had happened to him but another part of you screamed about how intrusive that was. You had only met the woman once in the short time you had been together.

The drive back to your apartment was a blur of city lights and distant sirens, the silence between you and Sonny heavy with unspoken words. You found solace in his silent companionship, his presence a source of comfort considering how your life had blown up with just one night. Your stomach was still in knots, still wondering what your plan was going to be. Were you going to keep it? Could you even be a mother? Could you handle pregnancy and all the pain you go through? Doubt seeped into your mind as you tried to think of yourself as a mother, could you put aside everything you’ve worked so hard to achieve for the sake of a tiny human?

When you finally arrived home, Sonny helped you inside, his steady hand on your lower back was a lifeline in the darkness. As you sank onto the couch, exhaustion washing over you like a tidal wave, Sonny hovered nearby, "I'll stay with you if you’d like," Sonny promised softly, his voice a soothing balm to your frayed nerves. "For as long as you need me. They don’t need me back at work just yet,” “What do I do Sonny?” You whispered as he came to sit next to you.

Sonny settled beside you, his presence a comforting weight in your life. He glanced at you with a mixture of concern and determination in his eyes, his brow furrowing slightly as he considered your question.

"We'll figure it out together," he said quietly, his voice steady despite the uncertainty clouding your thoughts. "First things first, you need to take care of yourself. I can make you some tea or grab you something to eat if you want. Then, we can talk about what you want to do next."

You nodded, grateful for his offer of support. As Sonny busied himself in the kitchen, you couldn't help but replay the events of the evening in your mind. Rafael's absence weighed heavily on your heart, leaving you with a gnawing sense of emptiness. You checked your phone once again, shoulders slumping slightly when the notifications remained the same as earlier. Your finger hovered over the call button, wondering if maybe he was just busy those few times but you knew, deep in your heart, that that wasn’t it at all. He was avoiding you all together. Sonny returned with a steaming mug of tea, placing it gently in your hands before taking a seat beside you once more. His expression softened with empathy when he saw you throwing your phone lazily on the table in front of you,  he reached out to squeeze your hand reassuringly, reminding you that even if Rafael wasn’t there, you at least had someone by your side.

"I just don't understand why he's not answering," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. "We were supposed to be in this together, he told me that he would always be there no matter what but now...I don't even know if he knows. I sent him a text with what’s going on but he hasn’t even seen it."

"I wish I had all the answers for you," he murmured, his voice tinged with regret. "But what I do know is that you're not alone in this. No matter what happens, I'll be here for you every step of the way. Doctors appointments, if you decide what you’re going to do, whether that be recovery or needing snacks at 3am you just ring me and I’ll be there. Always. "

Tears welled up in your eyes at his words, overwhelmed by the depth of his unwavering support. In that moment, you realized just how lucky you were to have someone like Sonny by your side, someone who would stand by you through the hardest moments of your life. At what first started as partners, with you mocking his moustache on his first day and him giving it back just as hard, to you now being each other’s confidants; you’d almost go so far as to say you were best friends. Almost.

"Thank you, Sonny," you whispered, your voice choked with emotion. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

He offered you a small, understanding smile, his eyes filled with compassion. "You don't have to do this alone," he said firmly. "We'll do this together, I promise."

[wily-one24]

I am intrigued by your liking Casey more. So character break down for her to, if you want.

Okay, but like... I did SAY I understood it was unpopular opinion. I know everyone loves Alex. And I like her too.

I can't explain why, I just... I really liked Casey. More so than Alex.

Why do I like salty chips more than sweet chocolate?

I'm just made that way, I guess. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

CASEY NOVAK:

--> How I feel about this character:

Casey was just fun. Like, c'mon, she was balls to the wall insane. From the get go. She had life, she had fire, she didn't give a shit, she played baseball with Elliot and joked with them all, she wanted to get a judge disbarred/arrested, she went to a judge's private home during his poker game and threatened to stay there all night untess he signed her warrant, she took on the entire US army, she got violently assaulted and came back to work the next day expecting to remain on the case and was OFFENDED when they took her off.

Think about all the shit Olivia saw/did/put up with when it came to Elliot, and then look up at that gif, THAT is where Olivia is all "Girl, you're pushing it". When OLIVIA BENSON is holding you back from getting justice, you know you've obliterated a line or two.

But she was also vulnerable and emotional. She cried over little girls in coolers and questioned whether she could remain in SVU, she mourned the boy who committed suicide, she pled out the daughter of the drunken mother because it made Olivia sad. She was scared when she woke up in the hospital. She felt regret over her ex-boyfriend with a mental illness because she had to prioritise herself and he lost control.

She was human.

In a way that, unfortunately, Alex was not able to be, because Alex was created in the year 2000 when police procedural women had to be "professional" and less "emotional". Alex had a very strong hold on her emotions (though they came out on occasion).

Casey? Casey had a hold on ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. And I enjoyed it.

--> All the people I ship romantically with this character:

I don't really ship Casey with anyone. She's a friend. I'd go out drinking with her. But I'm not gonna think about her sex life that much.

--> My non-romantic OTP for this character:

I'm really sitting on the fence here with this ask. I don't know? Like, she got on really well with Olivia and Elliot...

--> My unpopular opinion about this character:

Apart from the one already mentioned?

Is there really that much to opine about Casey? She did her job well (a litte/lot crazy, but she did it). She got results. She had really good chemistry with the entire team.

Perhaps my unpopular opinion is that I would have liked her to either stay or return. Which is a difficult ask, because I also loved Barba.

--> One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character:

I would love to see Casey return.

If they could ever make up their minds if she was disbarred or not. One episode she is, then she returns to say she was only censured, and then the next time she's referred to, she's been disbarred again.

I mean, knowing Casey, it's also possible she was disbarred for a completely different reason that happened later.

[goodqueenaly]

since you clearly know your history, do you think aegon iv's situation with his mistresses while he was king was handled realistically? weren't official king's mistresses married off before taking on their positions because any bastard children sired needed a legal father? falena was married off but there's no mention of barba, melissa, or the other women after aegon iv ascended having husbands. i mean, obviously barba needed to be unwed so she could have a chance of becoming queen but if melissa wanted to establish herself as a non-grasping replacement, shouldn't she go get a husband so naerys, aemon, and daeron couldn't feel threatened? and even if melissa was a super nice person, how she could she remain "well-loved" at court while publicly having bastards and one of them is an albino? wouldn't her reputation be ruined if aegon iv dropped her and she remained unmarried after that?

I think the historical record is somewhat mixed on that point. Think of, for example, GRRM’s, ugh, favorite point of reference for Aegon IV, Henry VIII (yeah, I know): Bessie Blount was not married at the time she was in a relationship with the king (and conceived Henry Fitzroy with him), though she did marry after her son’s birth, while it’s entirely unclear when Mary Boleyn married relative to when she and Henry VIII had their relationship (and, of course, Henry offered to make Anne Boleyn his mistress while she was unmarried). Likewise, if we look to Charles II - another inspiration, I think, for Aegon IV, no less so because I tend to think he named Barba Bracken after Charles’ long-term mistress Barbara Villiers, Duchess of Cleveland - the record is far from one-sided: Barbara herself, for example, was married during their relationship of course, but the king’s two primary mistresses at the end of his life, Louise de Kerouaille and Nell Gwynn, were both unmarried for the whole of their lives (and as much as James Scott, Duke of Monmouth, Charles’ eldest extramarital son, might have claimed that Charles had married his mother, Lucy Walter, when the two were exiles in the Netherlands, Charles himself vehemently denied the supposed marriage, which had no evidence of its existence otherwise). Too, Louis XIV - not perhaps explicitly cited by GRRM as an inspiration for Aegon the Unworthy, but certainly a king famous for his love affairs - had both married and unmarried mistresses: while Louise de La Vallière was unmarried (and later ended her life as a repentant nun), the Marquise de Montespan did have a husband (who notoriously held a “funeral” for his wife after she became the king’s mistress); the widower King Louis did, almost certainly, end up marrying his last mistress, the similarly widowed Marquise de Maintenon. (There is also the story that when one of Louis’ early loves, Marie de Mancini, married her eventual husband, Prince Colonna, the prince was surprised to discover that his wife was a virgin, as he said he had not expected to find “innocence among the loves of kings”.) Again, these are only a very few, very limited examples, but I think it’s fair enough to say that GRRM could have felt, let’s say somewhat historically comforted by having Aegon IV’s mistresses be (mostly) unmarried women. 

In any event, I don’t think it was a necessity that Melissa Blackwood be married in order for her to be seen as unthreatening to the queen. While the details of Melissa’s life, especially her time as Aegon’s mistress, are frustratingly thin and vague based on our current knowledge, it does seem that Melissa went out of her way to curry favor with Queen Naerys, Prince Daeron, and Prince Aemon - a step that Barba Bracken almost certainly never took, if she was looking to replace Naerys as queen (and perhaps have her son Aegor replace Daeron as heir). It is also worth pointing out, of course, that in the aftermath of Barba’s, and probably more generally Lord Bracken’s and his faction’s, failed attempt to have Barba marry the king, Melissa and whatever faction was supporting her may have emphasized that Melissa had no such ambitions in order to distinguish her from the disgraced former mistress. Additionally, the fact that Melissa did not have a son with the king until a few years after their relationship began may have also served as some reassurance to the queen, Prince Daeron, and Prince Aemon: not only, perhaps, did Melissa appear not to want to replace the queen, but she had no ready would-be heir, as Barba had had, to promote in place of Daeron and strengthen her ambition to create a new royal family. 

Naturally, because we know nothing about why Melissa was sent away from court, or what happened to her after, we have no idea how her brief years as the king’s chief mistress affected her life or her socio-political prospects thereafter. I do tend to think that Melissa didn’t live a long life after leaving court, though when and how she might have died is obviously completely unclear. In any event, though, I could see where Melissa’s positive reputation, especially if she died relatively young, might have been preserved at court: the kind-hearted, widely beloved young woman, perhaps driven from the court by those no-good-very-bad Brackens who had then replaced her with a “faithless” mistress. Once King Daeron II came to the throne himself, the new king may have been even more inclined to think fondly of the woman who had treated himself and his late mother and uncle with respect and deference, where few if any other of his father’s mistresses had - “better this mistress than any other”, perhaps, to paraphrase the Queen of France on the subject of her husband’s beloved mistress, Madame de Pompadour. (Naturally as well, once Bloodraven came into power and influence, especially after the First Blackfyre Rebellion, he would likely have done much to promote the positive legend of his mother, especially in contrast to the surviving reputation of Barba Bracken - a legacy that I think will be central to the conflict of “The Village Hero”). 

It’s also worth pointing out that while King Aegon’s identified chief mistresses after his ascension seem to have been unmarried young women, this is not to say that the king probably limited his sexual liaisons during his reign only to these individuals. After all, Yandel notes in his overview of Daeron II’s reign that during Aegon IV’s rule, the men of the City Watch of King’s Landing whom the king promoted “made sure that the brothels—and even the decent women of the city—were available for Aegon’s lusts”; I think it’s probably fair to say Yandel likely included “married” in his definition of “decent”. Moreover, while Yandel identified Jeyne Lothston as Aegon IV’s chief mistress after the downfall of Bethany Bracken, the maester-author also suggested that the king “enjoyed mother and daughter together in the same bed”, after Falena Lothston (nee Stokeworth) brought young Jeyne to court (a disturbing rumor, of course, when paired with the additional suggestion by Yandel that Jeyne had been fathered by the king, not Lord Lucas). I fully expect that when we learn more about Aegon IV’s reign (especially given the, ugh, high likelihood of even more unnecessary sexual exploits to be highlighted in Fire and Blood Volume 2), Aegon’s omnivorous sexual desire, including for married women, will be underlined. 

[macabremayhem]

"The night – tho' clear – shall frown –

And the stars shall look not down,

From their high trones in the heaven,

With light like Hope to mortals given –

But their red orbs, without beam,

To thy weariness shall seem

As a burning and a fever

Which would cling to thee for ever."

© E. A. Poe

Has Death paid you enough attention, young man?

/© Lunatic Sun/

reference 🔻🔻🔻

The Kiss of Death is a marble sculpture created in 1930, located in Poblenou Cemetery in Barcelona.

Artist: Jaume Barba

[bullet-prooflove]

I’d love to see your version of a secret spouse/SO with any of the following

Duarte

Jubal Valentine

Jimmy Lanik

And/Or

Sam Abrams.

Feel free to write as many or as few of those as you want. You are a genius writer.

Also, why don’t you write for barba or Carisi anymore?

Jubal doesn’t tell anyone he’s seeing you. He keeps it on the downlow because he doesn’t want to jinx it. If he’s honest with himself, part of it is because he can’t actually believe that it’s finally happening, that he gets to wake up alongside of you each morning.

It stays a secret for about two months, until Scola comes knocking because he left his I.D badge on your coffee table the night before when the two of you were watching the game. He’s kissing you goodbye when he literally opens the door and sees the other man standing there. He expects it to spread after that but it doesn’t. Scola’s good at keeping secrets, he’s been keeping a lid on the way Jubal feels about you since the day you took a bullet for your partner.

It's O.A. that finds out next, the two of you are getting dinner in a tiny hole in the wall restaurant. Jubal’s just reached across the table and taken your hand when Omar appears alongside of you. He’s picking up an order for dinner with his cousins and saw the two of you sitting there.

“It’s been a long time coming.” He tells the two of you with a knowing smile.

He’s not wrong. It’s taken years to get to this point and Jubal’s grateful it’s happening now after you’ve made the shift to Counter Terrorism.

Maggie works it out when she sees you on a run. It’s six in the morning and she’s completing a second circuit of her new route when she spots the two of you at a coffee shop near the park. She notices Jubal’s wearing yesterday’s shirt, before he leans in to kiss you. She tells O.A. later on that morning and he simply gives her that shit eating grin.

“You knew.” She accuses.

“For over a month.” He tells her.

Tiffany knows that Jubal’s seeing someone, she’s known ever since she pointed out the lipstick on his cheek one morning. She just doesn’t realise who it is until you’re called in to work a case together. She realises how much your body language has changed since you used to work here, how instead of putting distance between the two of you, you’re leaning in instead.

“It’s finally happened.” She tells Scola when the case is over, and he snorts before telling her she’s three months too late.

The relationship isn’t even on Isobel’s radar, not until six months down the line. She’s leaving her office when she sees the two of you step onto the elevator together. Jubal’s hand reaches for yours, fingers entwining, and she knows she’s looking at a couple in love. She smiles to herself because out of everyone the two of you deserve it.

This plays into my Jubal work moving forward. Also the reference to Scola keeping Jubal's secret is to an upcoming fic called 'Just in Case'.

Answer to your Q:

I'm just not a fan of them anymore. I really liked what they did in the end with Rollisi, not the beginning but the way it turned out with them and in my head that's OTP. For Barba, I rewatched his eps a while ago and I just hated what they did to his character towards the end, like he became a different person. - also for me I think I was done with him after I finnished writing 'All In' I couldn't imagine him with anyone other then Jen after that.

[irishavengersassemble]

Game of Survival: Part 1

After tragedy strikes Rafael Barba’s little sister moves back to New York City for a fresh start. Will she be able to move on with the help of her loving big brother and perhaps find happiness with a certain lieutenant  in SVU.

Hey lovlies. I know its been forever, but I had this idea for a series and I just had to write it. 

Series takes place at the beginning of season 18 of Law and Order: SVU and has references to One Chicago. Reader is canonicallly bisexual and in her mid-thirties. 

Pairings: Olivia Benson x Barba Reader   Sonny Carisi x Rafael Barba 

Header belongs to me. 

You let out a small sigh as you took in the familiar office that you’d not stepped foot in for over a year. Taking in the cozy office of your older brother you settled on the comfy brown couch knowing it would probably be a while before he came back from court.

He was always busy that didn’t mean that he didn’t have time for you, given you lived hours away and you both worked insane hours.

You usually didn’t hear from each other apart from a weekly phone call whenever you both had time which didn’t seem often these days.

Glancing down at your phone your e/c eyes landed on the different apartment listings that you’d been scanning through.

Nothing had caught your eye in all honesty this had been a spare whim of the moment decision one that you’d not regret.

You’d needed a change. A change had been needed for a while and you’d finally decided it was time, time to head home and start over and get a fresh start so to speak.

Severide and Casey had helped you pack up your things over the weekend and you’d made the long drive from Chicago back to New York with nothing but your car and a small U-Haul.

A deep huff fell from your lips as you found the couch growing more comfortable by the minute the long drive catching up with you.

The next thing you knew you were being startled awake as Rafael’s surprised voice filled your ears stirring you from the dreamless slumber you’d fallen into.

“Y/N? Y/N Wake up. What the hell are you doing here?” Your older brother retorts his voice holding so many questions ever the lawyer.

 You groaned opening your eyes finding your big brother of nine years sitting beside you on the couch. He was dressed in one of his well-tailored suits his light brown hair combed back in a neat style.

“Hi, Rafa. Sorry, I fell asleep. It was a long drive. Ummm. I’m back in New York permanently this time. I moved out of Kelly’s place this weekend and drove the twelve and a half hours straight through.” You said knowing your brother was processing what you’d told him his mind was always a step ahead of the conversation.

He knew that the past few years had been hard for you and that ever since the incident you’d been trying to pick up the shattered pieces of your life.

What was left of it. How you’d been able to keep going at all had been a surprise to you.

It was evident the only reason you’d made it this far was the love and support of your family and friends. Those closest to you the people you considered family had helped you through the roughest time of your life they’d helped you pick up the pieces and try to throw your life back together.

Rafael sat there for a moment glancing over at you with a concerned brotherly brow.

He knew it had been hard for you after you’d lost Leslie, you’d been a broken shell of the woman you once were.

The woman who had a ferocity and a fire in you a fierceness that hadn’t dimmed even with the rough life you’d come from had disappeared.

You were softer now than you’d once been quiet and calm, gentle, they’d always been attributes you’d carried yet they seemed to control you these days.

Rafael had been surprised when you’d told him of your plans to go from paramedic to police officer after losing your fiancé several years prior.

He’d worried his mami and abuelita had worried, yet you’d managed to pass through the academy with flying colors and soon became a damn good cop with an even better reputation.

“Well, this is entirely unexpected but it's great to see you Hermana.” Rafael purred pulling you into a tight hug pressing a kiss to your head as you clung to him finding comfort in his embrace.

“I take it you don’t have an apartment or anything settled out yet which is fine. You can stay with me until you find a place.”

“But what about Son-“ You started not at all wanting to impose on your brother and his boyfriend who was over at Rafael’s so much you were surprised that your brother hadn’t asked him to move in yet.

That wasn’t any of your business and you really weren’t the best person to come to when it came to relationships or relationship advice.

Your big brother’s voice filled your ears startling you from your thoughts that had been getting away from you over the past few weeks.

That’s another reason you’d decided to move the city was too different, too quiet, and no matter where you look Leslie was everywhere.

A change had been necessary, you’d wanted to heal actually heal, and being with your family had seemed like the best way to go about that.

“Oh don’t worry about Sonny. You know he loves you. You’ve gotten along. You staying with me won’t be an issue.

I’m sure you’d much rather stay with me than mami anyways.” He chuckled knowing your mother would have his head if she heard his comment.

“Alright, Rafa I’ll stay with you if you insist.” You sighed pulling out of your big brother’s hold rolling your eyes at him.

Rafael could be many things a sassy pain in the ass for starters, but he’d been the best big brother ever since Lucia had taken you in and adopted you when you were eight years old.

Even though Rafael was nine years older he’d always made time for you and though you were close with your mother you and Rafael had been thick as thieves for as long as you could remember.

“I do insist just like I insist on taking you to lunch. Come on. When’s the last time you’ve had a decent meal?” Your big brother quipped raising the infamous Barba brow in your direction.

A sigh fell off your lips Rafael knew you better than anyone having a little sister who was a first responder and working the crazy hours you did you’d often forgotten to eat.

“Last night…” The words tumbled out of your mouth as Rafael’s face hardened giving you a knowing expression forcing a deep huff from your lips as you continue.

“Okay technically it was the night before Herman and the rest of the gang threw me a going away party at Molly’s.” The words tumbled out of your mouth as you stood standing to your feet as Rafael walked you out.

The light brown-haired man rolled his eyes knowing an order of your favorite Chinese food was calling your name.

“Come on let's get some food into you before you blow away or pass out on me.” Rafael sighed throwing an arm around your shoulders as he led you toward the elevators.

“Rafa I’m fine. You act as though I don’t eat. Trust me when I can I do. You know this. I have the Barba genes maybe not literally but metaphorically.

With Abuelita and Mami’s cooking, it was only a matter of time before I become a foodie just like yours truly.” The words tumbled from your mouth as you gave the man a once over followed by your first real smile ever since you’d stepped foot back into your hometown.

“I’m not a foodie.” Your brother sassed knowing that he actually was a foodie and when he’d started dating Sonny that had only intensified. It didn’t help the chatty Italian man was an exceptional cook and one of his main love languages was acts of service.

You were grateful that Rafael had found someone like Sonny, he was warm and loving and made sure that Rafael was taken care of and you appreciated it more than he’d ever know.

It had been hard being away from your family for so many years, but when the opportunity presented itself to move to Chicago alongside joining Firehouse 51 you’d been unable to say no.

Back then you’d been a fresh-faced twenty-four-year-old who was ready to pursue your dream of being a paramedic and saving lives.

Now after a decade in Chicago you were back in New York for a fresh start you knew this would be good for you and that’s what Leslie would have wanted for you as well.

She’d have wanted you to be happy and continue your life not wallowing in the grief that had been all-consuming for the past two years.

You owed it to yourself and you owed it to her to find happiness again. That’s what she’d wanted for you to enjoy living again even with her gone.

It was the only way you knew to keep her memory alive. You needed to start living again and maybe in time you would.

Going out for dinner with your big brother was a good start you felt much calmer as you leant into Rafael’s side glad that you had such a strong support system behind you.

[atopvisenyashill]

do u remember the characters who were complimented the most by their beauty in the books?

off the top of my head (and keeping in mind i’m still on asos and haven’t reread feastdance at least since the show ended so like 3-4 years) characters who get complimented most often for beauty are -

cersei

sansa

dany

margaery

jaime (not joking, he doesn’t get called handsome, he gets called beautiful. think more brad pitt and less george clooney)

joffrey (similar to jaime, altho tbf most of the comments on his beauty come from sansa)

loras

characters who are less complimented mostly due to them not being in every book but still notable beauties include-

arianne

catelyn & lysa - i’m like 80% sure people comment on lysa being beautiful when she’s younger & less so now, but don’t quote me there. i know people comment on cat being hot af when she’s younger, and multiple people remark on her hair so she clearly still Has It, she’s just not in a position where men are throwing themselves at her feet in the series given, ya kno, the war

melisandre

roslin frey

margaery’s lady’s court - her girls, taena, and alerie are all described at some point or another as being beautiful

taena of myr - wanted to mention her specifically, people tend to think of her as striking

val the wildling

ygritte the wildling - notable that this is incredibly conditional bc jon only starts referring to her as beautiful after they start sleeping together BUT the wildlings consider her beautiful bc of her hair

rohanne webber

characters noted to be beautiful by people who are clearly fishing for a compliment to pay her (aka, She Is Beautiful To Me, I Understand Her)-

jeyne westerling - i want to add her bc you have cat, robb, and jaime all acknowledge she’s “pretty enough” but are won over by her after talking to her, which probably speaks more to how she carries herself than her actual looks. but as a westerling stan, it’s notable To Me haha

brienne - i need to include this bc the “she could almost be a lady she could almost be a knight” is one of my favorite lines in the series, it makes me crazy and i think any post about beauty that doesn’t include brienne isn’t complete. that brienne gets the “brienne the beauty” moniker bc she’s ugly even as jaime keeps thinking about how she’s beautiful in some way or another is, imo, notable in how george sees & defines beauty (very much in the eye of the beholder, and that love can make you search for beauty in someone who is objectively not beautiful according to The Societal Standards)

arya - ned compares her to lyanna (and obviously ned isn’t gonna tell his daughter “you’re an uggo my sister was hot as fuck tho”) & gendry & edric both get a lil flustered over her

ellaria sand - noted that she’s not strictly beautiful but “something draws the eye” which seems like jeyne it’s about how she carries herself than her actual looks

jeyne poole - i mean. lots of comments about how she’s pretty ish and they’re clearly meant cruelly, almost as a way of tormenting her (no fancy last name, no wolf’s blood, not even pretty enough to get someone to rescue her)

pre-asoiaf mentioned in the main series for their beauty include-

lyanna stark

ashara dayne

missy blackwood

barba bracken

rhaegar targaryen

and pre-asoiaf characters noted to be beautiful in twoiaf or f&b-

rhaenys targaryen (the conqueror)

nymeria of ny sar

rhaena the lesbian

alyssa velaryon

jocelyn baratheon

viserra targaryen

rhaenys velaryon

rhaenyra targaryen - notable that she’s considered beautiful as a child but less so as an adult (bc westeros is full of fucking weirdos)

helaena targaryen - described as being more beautiful than alicent and that’s really it

daenaera velaryon - ditto on westeros being full of weirdos lol

jaehaera targaryen - again. she is like 12 when she dies but half the realm is commenting on this beautiful child. i hate these people so much.

baela targaryen

lady sam hightower

something that’s notable is that george makes a continued distinction between “pretty” and beautiful - alysanne targaryen is considered pretty but not beautiful, for example. so there’s people like jeyne westerling who are “pretty enough” as in, not ugly, not plain, but not, as jaime puts it “beautiful enough to lose a kingdom over” as in they are drop dead, model, helen of troy type gorgeous.

that’s also why i wanted to include the “fishing for compliments” type girls bc these women are very aware that they’re not pretty enough and often wind up carrying themselves differently as a response to this - if they can’t be gorgeous they’ll be so disarming, so striking, that people will spin back around to beautiful. ygritte is the biggest example of this imo because how jon perceives her beauty is very tied to how his relationship with her develops - he purposefully conflates her beauty with her violence bc he wants to find her violence beautiful bc that would make his life infinitely easier, and after she dies he’s very clear headed that she isn’t that pretty but she is TO HIM, she is beautiful in his memory because of his feelings for her. it makes him very wary of melisandre & val as a result - because he conflates beauty and violence in ygritte, it makes him wary of other harsh & beautiful women. or take lyanna, who is remembered often as being beautiful yet in ned’s memory, this beauty is part of what dooms her and he is outwardly hostile whenever people mention her beauty - to ned, that beauty brought only horror so he doesn’t dwell on it.

there’s lots of commentary here on what “beautiful” actually means from person to person, so while i would say the first group are more objectively beautiful, it’s also important to think about context - who is thinking they’re beautiful, why they’re thinking this, and what their relationship is.

[dannygpino]

There's something I don't understand, many people refer to Nick as Rollins' partner, but he was mostly Liv's partner/she was his first partner. And not many acknowledge that fact.

That's very true.

Their partnership was so fascinating because they butted heads, got into arguments, called each other out in not really constructive ways, but they still had each other's backs. I'm mainly thinking about "Manhattan Vigil" when things were clearly icy between them but when they found Hector's body, they reached for each other's hands.

They obviously were able to work past their differences and become strong partners. They had to open up to each other; her because she was mourning Elliot when Nick arrived and he because he had lone wolf syndrome and was used to being on his own. Of course, they may have disagreed but they still respected and heard each other. They made good partners. They had a close relationship.

Kind of unrelated, I will always love that Cragen said "Find him" to Nick in "Surrender Benson". Of course, the entire squad was going to look for Olivia but I'm sure Nick felt an extra responsibility because she was his partner. He had to look out for her and have her back more than anyone. Cragen knew that. Cragen knew his detectives.

I do hope they reconcile on screen at some point, lol. She called and left a voicemail apologizing but we didn't see his response. Olivia's bridge with Barba is burned, which is another story, but it isn't with Nick. Danny has left the possibility of returning again open. I hope he does. "Hotel Cocaine" just ended, he can do it.

Also, you know what else could happen if Nick did come back?

[iobsessoverfictionalmen]

The Taste of Revenge - Master List

Warnings: canon typical violence, cursing, mentions of non-consensual drugging, descriptions of character death, mentions and descriptions of jail, car crashes, descriptions of drowning, lying, manipulation, guns, yandere themes, mafia AU, mafia Rafael Barba (trust me, he needs the warning), spoilers for Hannibal, references to Leverage, past Frederick Chilton/Rafael Barba, NSFW moments and angst.

NSFW warnings: filthy thoughts, rough sex, consensual smut, threesome, m/m, m/f, dom/sub, use of pet names (good boy and good girl), dirty talk, possessiveness, a hint of angst, Frederick has a voyeurism kink, fingering, handjobs, finger licking and sucking, oral (male and female receiving), unprotected penis in vagina sex and mentions of injury.

A/N: This is the sequel to The Sounds of Justice. I recommend reading that fic before reading this one as this sequel references a lot of events from the previous fic. You can catch up with that fic by clicking on the link here. Please take notice of and heed the warnings; they are there for a reason and they will be at the top of each chapter. Comments and reblogs are very much appreciated.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

What if? A Jim Sterling AU

[journalsouppe]

Mwah Mwah Mwah I love you the Adventure of Link <3 You're a tough game but you don't deserve all the hate you get. OUGH yall i love this game so much the soundtrack slaps incredibly hard

Genuinely one of my favorite Zelda games esp in terms of lore and musici, if I grew up in the 80s and played this this game would've been my special interest for sure

The stickers are from the ALTTP sticker pack by Comstock Cafe and I just took the stickers that were the most generic to use for this game and the original Legend of Zelda ^_^;

Writing typed below!

Rating: 8.0 Played: Sp 2023 Port: NES Switch Special Edition (YES I PLAYED THE EASY VERSION I WAS TRYING TO BEAT THIS BEFORE TOTK)

Comments

Initial thoughts: reminds me of the claymation mythology movies (aka Jason and the Argonauts and Clash of the Titans)

This reminds me a lot of Joust

little link statue <3

this feels nothing like a zelda game

(in reference to above comment) the mechanics are a little off putting but this is actually a very zelda game, it takes getting used to but i'm enjoying it

I'm actually really obsessed with the zelda II lore and story, love the magic system

omg the iron knuckle

interesting bosses! it would be fun to see them return

damn gooma was so hard

wolfheads can burn in hell

I like how much the future zelda games are insp by this game!!!

how would you ever know how to find new kasuto without a guide T^T

FUCK WIZZROBES

-> they were't too bad in this game bc you can actually block them (I hate top down wizzrobes and hate a visceral reaction lol)

i absolutely love that you can turn into a fairy, this should've been a reused mechanic

"this is the first game where Link shape shifts as well as the first game where the process is voluntary and beneficial" oh my god T^T

I love how Barba/Volvagian returned in Ocarina!!!! LOVE!!

I FORGOT THE CROSS

It's funny how Link can't swim in these games so he walks on water instead

items collected are used in the overworld

I love this game a lot actually

the mega demon looking bubble?? T-T

the regional differences are really interesting

the design of the thunderbird is crazy cool

love the shadow link fight also insane you don't get to heal and replenish magic

zelda and link having 2 different styles is so funny, link looks so goofy

This game had a massive difficulty spike compared to the original The Legend of Zelda game. However, I loved this game so much and you can see how much influence games like OOT and TWW took from it. The music is incredible and iconic, I love the enemy designs and their grittiness, and I love how despite never playing this game before, I had a lot of nostalgia for it bc I played Joust as a kid. This was a great sequel for its time and continued the story well -- Link has gotten 2/3 of the triforce pieces and rescued zelda and defeated Ganon in the first game. Now he has to complete multiple trials in order to get the triforce of courage and save zelda from the past. The end fight being a 2 boss rush AND the true boss being the shadow of youself -- AKA the hardest boss in the series if you don't cheese the battle, it's great what an incredible idea. And OOT used it again with another incredible idea -- reflection, conquer yourself. Are you a true hero if you can't even outmatch, out wit, out last your own self, your own shadow? UGH as a huge OOT fan I just loved this game and seeing all the influence it had. I'd def play it again in the future.

[ceoofhelaegon]

Idc how popular/unpopular this opinion is but Helaegon in the show deserves to be portrayed as a complex relationship and not as Aegon/Naerys 2.0 that this fandom desperately want.

Not to be offensive to anyone but saying that A*mond/Helaena are the original Naerys and Aemon is a braindead take

Received similar asks and I thought it was better to reply to both at the same time…so here we go:

Aegon IV:

Aenys was weak and Maegor was cruel and Aegon II was grasping, but no king before or after that would practice so much willful misrule.

—writings of Kaeth in Lives of Four Kings

'Fire and Blood' were the words of House Targaryen, but Dunk once heard Ser Arlan say that Aegon's should have been, 'Wash Her and Bring Her to My Bed'.

—thoughts of Duncan the Tall

Naerys: I have done my duty by you, and given you an heir. I beg you, let us live henceforth as brother and sister.

Aegon: That is what we are doing.

—Naerys and Aegon IV Targaryen

Nine mistresses:

Falena Stokeworth

Megette

Cassella Vaith

Bellegere Otherys

Barba Bracken

Melissa Blackwood

Bethany Bracken

Jeyne Lothston

Serenei of Lys

Other:

Daena Targaryen

Elaena Targaryen (rumored)

Daughters of Lord Butterwell (rumored)

Many others

Aegon II:

“When his grief had passed, King Aegon Il summoned his loyalists and made plans for his return to King's Landing, to reclaim the Iron Throne and be reunited once again with his lady mother, the Queen Dowager, who had at last emerged triumphant over her great rival, if only by outliving her. "Rhaenyra was never a queen," the king declared, insisting that henceforth, in all chronicles and court records, his half sister be referred to only as "princess," the title of queen being reserved only for his mother Alicent and his late wife and sister Helena, the "true queens." And so it was decreed.”

“Though Blood and Cheese spared her life, Queen Helaena cannot be said to have survived that fateful dusk. Afterward she would not eat, nor bathe, nor leave her chambers, and she could no longer stand to look upon her son Maelor, knowing that she had named him to die. The king had no recourse but to take the boy from her and give him over to their mother, the Dowager Queen Alicent, to raise as if he were her own. Aegon and his wife slept separately thereafter, and Queen Helaena sank deeper and deeper into madness, whilst the king raged, and drank, and raged."

I was going to put Aegon II’s lovers here but we don’t know them, he’s alleged to have 3 bastards, and none of them are confirmed.

Aemon:

Arianne: And the Dragonknight? The noblest knight who ever lived, you said, and he took his queen to bed and got her with child.

Arys: I will not believe that. The tale of Prince Aemon's treason with Queen Naerys was only that, a tale, a lie his brother told when he wished to set his trueborn son aside in favor of his bastard. Aegon was not called the Unworthy without cause.

—Arianne Martell and Arys Oakheart

Not every man has it in him to be Prince Aemon the Dragonknight or Symeon Star-Eyes...

—Wyman Manderly to Davos Seaworth

When he was born they named him for a hero who had died too young.

—Samwell Tarly recalling Aemon's namesake

Aemond:

Prince Aemond Targaryen, also known as Aemond One-Eye and Aemond the Kinslayer…

One-eyed Prince Aemond, nineteen, was found in the armory, donning plate and mail for his morning practice in the castle yard. "Is Aegon king?" he asked Ser Willis Fell, "or must we kneel and kiss the old whore's cunny?"

Helaena:

"Helaena was a pleasant, happy girl, and all agreed she would make a fine mother. And so she did, and quickly."

Naerys:

She almost died in the cradle and was sickly for most of her life, finding most physical activity to be very taxing. She ate but little and was painfully thin, almost emaciated.

She was also devout in her faith, and often found solace in the pages of The Seven-Pointed Star. She would have become a septa, had her father allowed it.

Aegon IV DESPISED Naerys, he disrespected her and by extent his own trueborn son because of that.

No matter what gaslighting the show tries to do, or other greenies that hate our Aegon…Aegon/Naerys/Aemon will NEVER be Aegon/Helaena/Aemond and in the words of Tywin Lannister:

Is not an opinion, it’s a fact!

[saiilorstars]

Ch. 58: Family Loyalties

Previous chapters // Montserrat’s masterlist

Fandom: SVU // Pairing: Rafael Barba x OC

Warnings: Due to the nature of the series’ plots, I do have to rate this as ‘mature’ for constant mentions of rape.

Taglist: @ocappreciationtag​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @arrthurpendragon​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @anotherunreadblog​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @maaaaarveeeeel​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @stareyedplanet​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @averyhotchner​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @abzidabzy​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @hellofutur​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @foxesandmagic​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @xovalliegirlxo @sam-i–am @kmc1989​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

[If you’d like to be added to this specific OC’s stories/edits, send me a message

Montserrat waited outside Rafael's office until he finished talking with Nick, although given the circumstances of said conversation, she doubted it would take long. She left Carmen when she felt like she was irritating the woman rather than simply conversing. She lingered outside in the hallway instead and came across her cousin.

"Fancy seeing you here," Casey came up to Montserrat with a smirk on her face. "Of course I know who you're here to see and it's not me."

Montserrat rolled her eyes. "Oh calm down. We can have dinner if you'd like?"

"Save it," Casey leaned close to Montserrat and lowered her voice. "I'd rather attend the dinner you're supposed to host for your family soon? Uncle Thomas hasn't met your boyfriend, so…"

Montserrat almost made a whimper. "I'm dreading it. Dad and Gael can go overboard and I don't want them overwhelming Rafael."

Casey snorted. "Please, that man is never overwhelmed unless it's the coffee in his system."

"Casey."

"I'm not lying. It's always between coffee or scotch."

"Casey!" Montserrat let out a heavy sigh while Casey laughed. "It's not easy. It's actually very scary. The last time I had a boyfriend was, well…"

Casey sobered quickly from her laugh. "Before you went undercover."

"Mhm…" Montserrat nodded. "I had to break up with him after coming out of UC and Dad and Gael always asked me why."

At that time, Montserrat didn't know what was more painful: explaining to her father and brother that she was raped or having to explain it to her then boyfriend. She knew that each of them loved her and only wanted to understand and she was incapable of explaining herself.

"Did you ever talk to him again?"

"Theo? No…" Montserrat gave a shake of her head, "When I ran from Queens, I ran. I didn't talk to anybody afterwards."

"Mm," Casey looked around the hallway as if someone were going to overhear them. "So you haven't really thought about what you're going to say to them when you organize this dinner?"

Montserrat shook her head. "Not a clue. I mean, Gael already knows that I'm seeing someone but as far as he knows, it was brand new and, well, now it's not so new."

"So what is it now?" The look on Casey's face was one Montserrat always referred to as her 'lawyer' face. It was the face Casey used to demand answers and honest ones. When they were younger, Montserrat always answered like she was on the stand.

"I'm 30! You can't keep doing that face to me!" Montserrat groaned, making Casey laugh.

"I'll stop when it doesn't work anymore!"

"I hate you," spat Montserrat.

"Bummer. And here I was going to offer my help with this upcoming dinner," Casey said with a hand on her chest. "You want somebody to warm your father up to this idea of a boyfriend, right?"

As much as Montserrat would want to say Casey wrong, she couldn't because she really did need all the help she could get. "I really hate you but yeah. Wouldn't come by so badly if you did have a couple tactics up your sleeve."

Casey's lips stretched into a wide smile. "I'd be happy to. When is it?"

"I don't know yet, probably after this whole case is over. I want to have Kara and Damien over too. Lessen the blow, you know? They know too."

"Mm, smart," Casey remarked. "At your place too?"

"Of course. So start clearing out your calendar because you're coming," warned Montserrat.

Casey chuckled until the office door flung open behind them and Nick stormed out.

"Looks like Rafael told him everything…" Montserrat said as they watched Nick disappear out the door. "I told him Nick would react this way, and it's not like he didn't have reason to."

"What's the case?" asked Casey curiously.

"None of your business, Novak." Rafael had come up behind the two women.

Montserrat snorted and Casey jabbed her elbow in her side. "What is so funny?" the latter demanded.

"Nothing, it's just weird not being on the other end of that for once."

Neither Casey nor Rafael were amused with Montserrat at the moment.

"I'm sorry," Montserrat's hands went up in front of her, "But after almost a whole year of being on the receiving end of that line, it feels good to hear it go somewhere else."

"In all honesty, how do you stand her?" Casey asked Rafael dead seriously. The latter smirked.

"Some say it's a virtue."

Montserrat gasped indignantly. "I'll remember that," she told Rafael. "Paying for it."

"You're the one who started it. Don't complain because you lost."

Montserrat gasped again.

"I want no part in this," Casey said quickly and moved around the pair, "I'll see you two later. Dinner, possibly."

Despite having a pretty huffy girlfriend beside him, Rafael still managed to see the smirk Casey threw his way. "Dinner? What is she talking about?"

Montserrat's response was to huff a third time. She started walking towards the entrance doors.

"Oh no, you don't get to do that," Rafael said as he followed after her.

"Do what?" Montserrat asked innocently and yet still very annoyed.

"You don't get to take jabs then get mad because I return the favor."

Montserrat reached to open the door but Rafael beat her to it and pulled the door open for her. He smiled at her as she walked out.

"You really are a sore loser," he chuckled to himself on his way out.

"Shut up," muttered Montserrat. "What happened with Nick, anyways?"

"Oh, you know, what we expected. He's thrilled with the idea of testifying against his father." Rafael joined Montserrat at the bottom of the stairs. "I don't blame him for how he reacted."

"Mm, yeah me neither," Montserrat folded her arms over her chest. "What I will blame him for is leaving me behind."

"Oh, so you were planning on leaving with him instead of me? Now I'm the one offended."

Montserrat's body swayed innocently. "I might be persuaded if there's a good dinner planned for tonight."

"How the hell am I the one having to provide a reward here?" Rafael's reaction was more than comical for Montserrat.

She smiled from ear to ear as he went on reviewing what happened inside the building where he was the victim.

"I'm pretty sure you're at fault here," he concluded with a deep scowl on his face. "Therefore, you owe me dinner."

"You're so easy to irritate, it's too much fun," Montserrat said, giving the impression she hadn't heard his entire speech.

"Montserrat—"

Montserrat gave him a short kiss on the lips. "Dinner's on me, dear. Any craving in particular?"

"Mm, a redhead," the words had fallen so quickly from Rafael's mouth that Montserrat almost thought she heard wrong.

"Rafael — what?" she laughed nervously. She felt a deep warmth crawl up the back of her neck to her face.

"Too much?" Rafael wondered. It was hard to tell with her reaction. Sometimes he had to think twice before saying or doing something in fear of pushing Montserrat too much. There were moments where he didn't do either of those things out of instinct and then he had to panic until Montserrat reassured him that she was fine with it.

"No, um…" Montserrat had trouble keeping her laugh at bay; she had to bite on her bottom lip to help. "I'm fine. Complemented, I guess?" Her arms moved over Rafael's shoulders and soon enough he was bringing her close to him. "So, how about some take out at your place and, uh, a redhead?" She gave a small shake of her head to let her curls bounce.

"That sounds perfect to me," Rafael said. His smile matched Montserrat's. He closed the already small gap between them with another kiss.

After that, there wasn't much bickering.

~ 0 ~

Court didn't go easily — everyone knew it would happen — but it all truly started when Nicolas went for a plea that involved no consequences to him. That alone showed his little regard for the crime he was being charged with.

"There's no way that they'll actually give him a plea, is there?" Amanda quietly made the question on their way out the courthouse. From her perspective, even though their side had some good witnesses, none of them truly amplified their point.

"I hope not," Olivia muttered. "I haven't personally spoken to Barba but I know he wouldn't."

"Just in case…" Fin made a nod at something behind the women. They turned to see Montserrat walking down the steps on her own.

"Hey, where's Barba?" asked Amanda.

"Umm…" Montserrat pursed her lips, her hands sliding inside her coat's pockets, "I asked him if he wanted to come with me and he told me —in a very nice way — to get lost." It was still very irritating to remember.

Amanda smiled wryly at the ginger. "Lovely relationship you have there."

Montserrat sighed. "When we get upset, this is pretty much how it always goes." Therefore, she couldn't even get mad at him for it. She'd done the same thing to him plenty of times too.

Bearing his mood when he was in these kinds of states, Montserrat didn't even bother sending texts nor calling. She went straight home after work, basking in the fact she got off slightly earlier, and met Kara cooking in the kitchen.

"I'm trying a recipe Sonny left me!" she told Montserrat. The latter was crinkling her nose with the scent.

"I can tell you one thing already: too much garlic!" Montserrat waved a hand in front of her nose.

"No, it's not!" Kara scowled.

"Yes, it is," Montserrat said as she came up beside her friend. She peered inside the pot and almost recoiled. "Yeah! Definitely too much garlic!"

Now Kara worried. She handed Montserrat the spoon and instructed her to keep mixing. "Let me just check the recipe again."

"Mm, and why are we trying new food again?" Montserrat asked. "New date or something?"

"No," shrugged Kara, "Just in a good mood."

"Well, I'm glad someone is," mumbled Montserrat. She sniffed the steam and shook her head. "Can we add water to this?"

"Nooo, it'll lose the flavor!"

"Of what? Garlic? That's what we want!"

Kara groaned. "Just keep mixing!" She grabbed her phone to reread the recipe. "So, you're home early."

"Yeah, I got lucky tonight. Sonny didn't tell you? I'm surprised he's not here."

"Nah, we need personal space sometimes too."

Montserrat chuckled. "A lot more, if you ask me."

Kara lowered her phone to deadpan her friend. "Just because you and your boyfriend don't do the personal things, doesn't mean the rest of us have to follow."

Montserrat burst into laughter. "Wow!"

"Don't laugh! I was being serious!"

"I can't help it!"

Kara decided she'd read enough of her recipe and put her phone down on the counter. "You're so annoying sometimes. I question how we keep living together."

Montserrat thought the same thing sometimes but she kept it to herself. In an effort to keep the atmosphere light, she put her best efforts to help Kara complete her recipe (although Montserrat still had no idea what it was).

"So you're not going out today?" Kara asked as they set up the plates for dinner.

"No, Rafael's in a mood today," Montserrat smiled tightly. "Best to steer clear until tomorrow."

"It's that case with Nick's dad, huh?" Kara shook her head. "Sonny told me about it. I can't believe the girl's not filing a complaint. I don't understand how women like that can stay in situations like those."

"It's not always easy admitting there's a problem," Montserrat said quietly. She walked back to the table with two glasses. "Believe me, sometimes it's just easier staying quiet."

Kara hummed. She was none the wiser about her friend's double meaning. She was sniffing the air and beginning to think Montserrat had been right about the garlic. "I can't believe that any woman would want to do that for any reason."

Montserrat turned back for the utensils on the counter. "You just don't know, Kara. Unfortunately, to understand, you have to be in the same position and even then you can't really understand someone else's experience."

"I guess…" Kara shrugged, "Oh, by the way, you got something in the mail today."

Montserrat was coming back when Kara motioned to the fat envelope on the coffee table.

"From that family you surrogate for?"

"Oh, Leah and Michael?"

"Yeah, who else? Did you have another pregnancy I don't know about?"

"No," Montserrat said with wide eyes. "Nope."

Kara laughed. "Yeah, I thought so."

The two sat down and had their dinner, although halfway through Montserrat told Kara they should have added more water. It was basically garlic on a plate.

"I need chocolate, stat," Montserrat announced as soon as she took the last bite.

Kara more or less agreed. "Thank God I'm not going on any date tonight. My breath must be horrible!"

Montserrat chuckled and agreed.

After dinner, they went in search of sweets from their special stash in the cabinet. Two chocolate bars did the trick.

Kara soon excused herself for the night, deeming her "me time" was very serious and she planned on a whole movie night by herself in her room. "I don't have a boyfriend until tomorrow morning at 8 a.m. when I wake up," she said on her way into the hallway.

Montserrat laughed. It was something she might employ herself just to see Rafael's reaction. She lingered in the living room to open the envelope Leah and Michael had sent her.

She sat down on the couch and started opening it. Immediately, she saw several pictures sticking up. One white paper was neatly folded behind them.

Montserrat,

We thought you might like to keep these! We know we send you pictures all the time but it's such a hassle to go out and print them so this time we did it for you! We hope you like them! Andy misses you!

Love,

Leah, Michael and Andy Saunders

Montserrat was delighted with all the pictures of baby Andy that were now hers! She was terrible at printing out pictures in general and she had quite a lot of Andrew in her phone. Now she could have these in hard copy.

The simple knock on the door was more than startling. Montserrat almost dropped everything in her hands. She checked the time and saw it wasn't really that late.

"Oooh, Kara's going to be so pissed with you, Sonny," she mumbled as she left her things on the couch to answer the door. "You never interrupt Kara's 'me time', not if you value your life."

However, Sonny did value his life and so it was not him at the door.

"Hi," Rafael had no idea what to say except for that.

"Hello." Montserrat knew exactly what kind of struggle he was in because it was written all over his face. Did it make her a terrible girlfriend (or person in general) if she found it funny?

It probably does, she answered herself.

"You weren't going to sleep, were you?" Rafael asked shortly afterwards. She hadn't changed which gave him a sliver of hope.

"No," she finally said, "And you're not drinking still?"

"Point to you," Rafael shrugged. "I was but…"

Montserrat half smiled. "I'm not mad, Raf. You can relax."

"Seriously?" He would've thought she'd be angry for the way he told her to leave her alone.

Montserrat held her laugh in solely for her fondness for him. "Yeah, breathe." She reached for his hand and pulled him inside the apartment. "For someone so brazen and hard, you sure do get easily worried."

"Don't go saying that out loud," warned Rafael. "It's just when it comes to you."

"I love hearing that," Montserrat smiled giddily. "And since you're saying stuff like that, I can safely assume you're coming off your anger with the world."

"Something like that." Rafael pushed the door shut behind them. "Can I stay for a bit?"

"A bit, all night, I don't care which one," Montserrat shrugged. She gave him a small kiss on the lips. "I'm just glad you're here."

Rafael was too. He was more than used to handling these moods with endless drinks — he still did it — but knowing he had someone he could go to made him want to leave the glasses for a while. Baby steps.

"I talked to Nick," he said, and by the way he squeezed Montserrat's hand indicating the conversation hadn't gone well. "He was at the restaurant."

"Mm, he knows how the case is going, right?" Montserrat led him to the couch, taking her mail to the coffee table instead.

"Yeah, he's not happy about it. I can't blame him — I asked him to do something nobody should ever have to do." Rafael sat down with Montserrat on the couch. "He has to decide whether or not to testify against his own father."

"Oh man," Montserrat shuddered. "No matter my relationship with my mother, I could never picture myself testifying against her for a crime like this."

"My father's been dead 15 years and my hand still curls into a fist whenever I think of him but doing what Nick has to do goes beyond all that…"

Montserrat was startled. In all the time she'd known Rafael, this was the first time he ever mentioned his father. Tread easily. "Nick doesn't seem to like his father very much. It's horrible to say but maybe that'll help him be able to do it."

"It doesn't," Rafael said resignedly, "My father was not at all liked by anyone, especially me, but in the end I was still there. He was on life support after a diabetic coma and I was at the hospital every morning before work, and every night, until the nurses threw me out."

Montserrat scooted closer to his side, beyond surprised with his easy ability to share those painful memories. "I'm so sorry," she gave him a side hug.

"I've processed it at this point," Rafael gave a nonchalant shrug, but Montserrat knew better. If he had shared it now, out of all their moments together, it was because it still affected him.

"It doesn't matter," Montserrat said, resting her head on his shoulder, "I haven't seen Regina in 26 years and I still can't say that I don't think about her. She's my mother, whether she likes it or not, but she is."

"Now you see what I asked Nick to do?"

"I've always seen it, but it's not your fault. Nick knows that." Montserrat raised her head and reached for Rafael's cheek to turn his head. "You want to stay for the night?"

Rafael nodded within the minute. That would do him so well. "Kara won't mind?"

"So long as we don't knock on her door and interrupt her 'me time', we'll be safe," Montserrat said, earning a puzzled smile from him.

"Me time?" he repeated.

"Learn it well because I will be using it in the future when you get just a little bit too annoying."

"Oh!"

Montserrat laughed. "Why don't I get us some nice coffee? Decaf, of course. You don't need anymore alcohol in your system."

Rafael couldn't argue with that.

"At this point, I'm sure that your blood is more alcohol than anything else," Montserrat remarked, getting up before Rafael could do anything to her for that. She was quick to get into the kitchen too.

"Thank you," he told her for the coffee and her overall help. "How'd I ever manage without you?"

Montserrat innocently shrugged as she sat back down with him on the couch. "Probably with an extra bottle."

Rafael saved his breath. There was no doubt in his mind that she had plenty more comments like those. His eyes fell on the coffee table when he drank from his mug. He couldn't ignore the bright redheaded boy in the pictures he could see from.

"Is that Andrew?" He recognized the baby despite not being an infant anymore.

"Mhm," Montserrat said, reaching forwards to gather the pictures in a neat stack. "Leah and Michael sent them to me."

"He's bigger," Rafael's remark earned a good laugh from Montserrat.

"He's one year old now — a little older than that — but I would assume he's bigger than the last time you saw a picture of him!"

Rafael rolled his eyes at her. "Oh, you know what I meant! Why do they send you pictures?"

"Because I like seeing Andy growing up?" Montserrat said it like it should be obvious.

"And the parents are okay with that?"

"We were friends before Andy so yeah, they're okay with it."

"Mm…" Rafael grabbed the picture at the top of the stack and met the smiling toddler. "I swear his hair gets more red every time I see a picture of him."

"Oh, ha, ha," Montserrat waved him off. "That's not how red hair works, you know."

"I'm just saying," Rafael raised his hand but as soon as he did, Montserrat plucked the picture from him. "It's very surprising parents would want to keep their surrogate mother around them."

"Are you saying I'm not pleasant to be around with?" Montserrat raised an eyebrow at him.

"Sometimes you can be a little—"

Montserrat smacked him on the arm.

"I'm going to spill my coffee because of you!" Rafael exclaimed, shooting her a reprimanding glare. "I was only saying what I've seen, alright? I've processed things like that. The surrogate mother tends to be crazy."

"Again," Montserrat shifted so that she would face him entirely, "Are you saying that I'm not someone you want to be around with?"

"You are crazy but I'll give you a 'no' on the second one."

Montserrat rolled her eyes. "I hate you sometimes. You should know that I've known Leah and Michael since my high school days. I was at their wedding."

"So they picked you to be a surrogate for them?"

Montserrat sighed. "Look, Leah leaned on me when she found out she couldn't have kids. It was hard for her getting past it and I helped the way I could."

"So it was your idea to be a surr—"

"No! I just…it's…"

Rafael watched Montserrat carefully. He thought she was struggling too hard to explain what should be quite simple.

"It's complicated," Montserrat said finally, "We discussed it. Everything. I…I helped them."

"Were you at least compensated for all that? Pregnancy isn't easy and it's very long…"

Montserrat half smiled at him. "It's 9 months and I got what I needed at that time. You want some more sugar for that?" She pointed at his coffee.

"Not re…" Rafael trailed off seeing Montserrat already getting up to grab more sugar. "Okay…"

When Montserrat returned, she made it clear (silently) that the conversation about surrogacy was over when she pushed all the pictures and envelope away from them.

~ 0 ~

Watching Nick testifying wasn't nearly as hard as seeing the endgame still not working to their advantage.

"I shouldn't have come," Nick said as soon as they were free from the courtroom. He was a fuming mess before going to testify and now seeing what his father said for his cross examination had Nick almost bursting. "He used me to play the jury."

"You and me both," muttered Rafael beside Nick.

"He flat-out lied on the stand," Nick said, sourly laughing to himself, "I mean, I knew he would."

"I've known guys like this my whole life. I went straight at him, he slipped every punch." It was perhaps even more infuriating for Rafael to know that his tactics were practically sidestepped by the likes of that man. "I don't know what happened up there."

From a distance, Montserrat watched the two pensively. It wasn't until Sonny came up beside her that her focus was interrupted.

"What are you doing?" he asked her curiously. "The others went for a quick break."

"It's funny," Montserrat said quietly, "Or maybe completely terrible. Take your pick. Rafael and Nick are always at each other's neck but at the end of the day, they're so alike in their moods."

"It's why they're always at each other's necks," Sonny said matter-of-factly, "You didn't know that?"

Montserrat smiled wryly at her partner. "I was just saying. I wonder if they realize it too?"

Sonny scoffed. "Not a chance. They're borderline narcissistic."

Montserrat barely held onto her laugh. Sonny wasn't wrong. "You watch your words — one of them is my borderline narcissistic boyfriend."

Sonny smiled lightly. "Poor you."

A short moment later, they got word that the jury was back. Nobody wanted to say it out loud but that never boded well. They all filed back inside the courtroom to listen to the verdict.

"On the charge of assault in the second degree, we find the defendant not guilty."

First blow.

"On the charge of reckless endangerment in the second degree, we find the defendant not guilty."

Second and thorough blow.

Nick would've left running if it wasn't for his dignity and the fact he still had plenty of paperwork to do at the precinct. Olivia offered him the chance to take some days off — everyone was more than willing to do his share of the paperwork. He flatout refused.

One by one, the SVU detectives left their desks in the evening for some much needed rest. Amanda lingered only slightly until she got a definite no from Nick to go out for some drinks. In the end, only Monteserrat remained at her desk and it was only because she kept looking at the lonesome detective on the other side.

She checked her phone and saw one text from Rafael still waiting to be answered. It seemed he learned his lesson from last time because he was asking to meet with her after work.

Finally, she put her pen down and drew in a deep breath. "You know, Nick, it's actually very bad for your health to be that kind of angry."

Nick said nothing but the bitter smile on his face spoke volumes of what he wanted to say back. Bless his heart, he kept on writing.

Montserrat turned her computer off and shut the lid on it. "I'm not some stupid girl who doesn't know what she's talking about," she said a moment later.

Nick raised his head so suddenly, Montserrat swore she heard the crack in his neck. "I never said that."

Got him. Montserrat raised an eyebrow at him. "I am the youngest on this team and sometimes you guys make it just a little bit too obvious."

"Montserrat—"

"It sucks what happened," Montserrat said fast-paced before she lost Nick, "I'm sorry for that — we all are. It was a really lousy case. You don't deserve it and I'm sorry that you know you don't deserve it but can't do anything about it."

As irritated as he felt, Nick couldn't find the right words to go with what Montserrat had said. Maybe his thinking was off too.

Montserrat's eyes scoured the bullpen for any impertinent ear lurking around. When she felt safe enough, she spoke again. "My brother hates my mother — Regina. And I mean he despises her with all his heart."

"Why?" Nick asked against his better judgment. He was content with working himself until morning in utter silence.

Montserrat leaned forward on her desk, planting her elbows on top and bringing her hands together. "Because she ran out on us and my dad ages ago. I was four, so I can't really remember as much as Gael does. He hates her and he's always angry about it. He even gets angry at me."

"You?"

Montserrat nodded. "Didn't you hear me? I still call her 'mother' sometimes. Maybe I am a stupid girl." She thought about it several times and it pained her to think that her mother really did have that kind of hold on her despite being God knows where.

"So you don't hate your mother for abandoning you?" Nick asked, letting out a low scoff.

"Sometimes I do," Montserrat admitted, "I mean — she left us. I'm angry about that, but at the same time I admit that I sincerely wish she hadn't. For the right reasons, of course."

"Yeah, I can't…can't think like that…" Nick shook his head, "My father…I wish he would've left us instead."

Montserrat lowered her head. "I know, I'm sorry."

"Not your fault," Nick said, leaning back in his chair. "But I do understand your brother. I hate my father. I really do."

"Do you, though?" Montserrat challenged stoically. "Factual answers, Nick. I've asked myself the same question about Regina. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. At the end of the day, she's my mother just like this is your father we're talking about. It's like a curse, really. A child will always love their parents, whether they want to or not."

"He doesn't deserve it," spat Nick. Montserrat wholeheartedly agreed. "After everything he did, he doesn't deserve to just wipe the slate clean."

"I'm sorry he's trying to," Montserrat said, biting on her bottom lip, "But you have to consider that if he's doing it and your family's always letting him, you're going to have to figure something out. Being angry at him is going to make for some good arguments with others. He definitely shouldn't have that power over you." She heard her phone buzz on the desk. It was another text from Rafael.

"You should go, Montserrat," Nick said, gesturing to the phone he most definitely heard, "I'm the worst company right now."

Montserrat half smiled at him. "But you're my friend and I had to do something, even if it was a little thing."

"Thank you," Nick said honestly.

Montserrat grabbed her things to go. "Liv's still in the office if you feel like hearing someone else beside your own voice in your head."

Nick looked at her strangely.

"Yeah, I do that too sometimes. Regina," Montserrat shuddered. From the corner of her eyes, she caught a small smile from Nick. She bid him goodnight and headed out. She was on her way out of the building when her phone buzzed again.

"You are so clingy," she declared as soon as she answered the call.

From the other end, Rafael rolled his eyes. This is what he got for wanting to forget such a horrible case by spending the evening with his girlfriend. "And here I am calling to ask what kind of sweets you're in the mood for. What a fool." He was perusing the remaining baked goods in the display window with a waiting barista on the other side. Her name tag was shiny against the metal trays holding the pastries but he still managed to see 'Clara' written on it. "Guess where I am right now?"

"Well, since I am the best detective in the world, I'm going to say it's my favorite dessert shop?" Montserrat asked, barely holding back her excitement.

"Wow, you really are good," Rafael said, his tone laced with sarcasm. "You deserve a badge."

"Ha! So, what are you getting me?"

"No idea, especially if you're still in the precinct. And I thought I was a workaholic."

"Easy there, it was your case I was doing paperwork for!"

Rafael let out a sigh. "Yeah, I know." He pointed at a pile of coffee bread for the barista to grab. He held up two fingers for the amount.

Clara dutifully slid the bread out and slipped them inside a paper bag.

"No, sorry, I didn't mean to bring that up…" Montserrat said quickly.

"It's alright, don't worry. Meet me at my place?"

"Yeah, I'm heading there now. See you there!"

"See you in a bit," Rafael agreed and hung up. He put all his attention on the remaining pastries. "Let me get all the brownies, please."

"All of them?" the barista blinked.

"Yeah, why not?" Rafael smiled. "It's been a crappy day. Days."

Clara smiled back. "I've had those. Although I usually go more towards the, uh…" She made a drinking motion with her hand.

Rafael laughed. "Yeah, me too. My girlfriend doesn't like that very much so I figured I should go her way once in a while."

"Ah, well, if that's the plan, you should definitely take these donuts," Clara motioned him to follow her down the counter. She bent down and pulled a tray of donuts smothered with purple icing, white dust, and blueberries on top. "Consider it a true compromise." The barista placed the tray over the counter. "Blueberry champagne donuts."

"You're kidding me…" Rafael gazed over the tray with wide eyes.

"Nope!" Clara exclaimed with a wide grin on her face. "They're delicious! And if you disagree, feel free to bring them back."

"As long as they're sweet, I seriously doubt there will be any left," Rafael said. He knew Montserrat wouldn't let him return any such thing. "Give me four, please."

"Mhm!" Clara nodded her head. She moved to the shelves on the back in search of bags.

The bell at the entrance rang as the door flung open.

"Hands up!"

It probably shouldn't have been Rafael's first thought and in the way he thought it, but 'Goddammit' slipped from his lips in a very tired manner. He wasn't scared when he, and Clara for that matter, turned around and saw an armed man with a black ski mask coming towards them but instead he was irritated.

Clara was a whole other story. She squeaked and dropped the tongs in her hand. "Please don't hurt us!"

Rafael slowly raised his hands in front of him. "Look, just take the money and go. I'm sure she —" He nodded at the barista, "—won't get in your way."

"Your phone – give me!"

"But–"

"PHONE!"

With a heavy sigh, Rafael did as told and brought his phone out of his pocket. He threw it to the side. "Can I go home now?"

The man snorted. "Plans."

"None of your business. Take what you want and go!"

The man raised his gun and fired up at the ceiling. Clara whimpered and truthfully Rafael knew he had jumped. Gunshots were loud. A natural reaction, he was sure.

"Nah, it's not that simple," the man informed the pair, "I got a job I need to do."

"Robbing?" Rafael raised an eyebrow, unable to stop himself from expressing his disconcertion.

"Something like that." The man pointed the gun at Clara. She squeaked again. "On the floor. NOW!"

The girl practically let herself fall on the floor.

"And you," the man redirected the gun at Rafael, "You should probably consider moving."

"From New York?" Rafael congratulated himself for not scoffing there and then. "I've lived here all my life and my line of work doesn't exactly make this situation novelty."

"I know," the man said much too nonchalantly for Rafael to ignore.

He turned his head slightly. "How?" Could the man be a previous convict he helped process? It wouldn't be so strange.

"I've got a job to do," the man reminded. "You need to watch your step because you're earning yourself an enemy you don't want on your back."

"I make lots of enemies — it's a never ending shift, really." If Montserrat was around, Rafael was sure she would be telling him to shut up. His mouth never seemed to do that.

"You can act all brave right now but don't think your little redhead will always be so lucky."

It was like a switch went off. Rafael's eyebrows furrowed. "What did you say?" He took a step towards the man. The latter seemed to enjoy his reaction.

"If I were you, I would take what you can and leave. You were in Brooklyn before, weren't you? Transfer again. Women — there's tons of them."

Too many things had been thrown into the air so nonchalantly that it took Rafael a couple seconds to put them together and process their meaning. "How the hell do you know—"

"It's a job," the man said sharply, sounding irritated under his mask. "I'm just telling you what I think. Is this trouble really worth it just for some woman?" He snorted. "I don't think so!"

"You should take the mask off," Rafael said curtly.

"Why?"

"Because I want to know who the hell you think you are to tell me all this stuff."

It seemed like the man was smirking under his mask. "Clever. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem like you're going to be smart about this, which leaves very little options for you and me. I need to eat so I need to get paid."

Rafael nodded earnestly as if he were truly taking in the man's words when in reality he was beyond furious. Not even the man stepping towards him managed to quell that anger in exchange for appropriate fear. When the gun came up, so did Rafael's hands but towards his right. He snatched a metal serving stand and dropped it on the side of the man's head.

He went in for the gun but the man seized his wrist, albeit wobbly since he wasn't quite right on his feet yet. Rafael used that to his advantage and yanked his captured wrist back, forcing the man forwards and close enough to strike. At the same time, Rafael's fist collided with the man's face.

He stumbled back, out of breath, and unsure of what to do next. Adrenaline and anger mixed were not a good combination. He remembered he wasn't alone then. "C-Clara? Call 911 now."

Clara pulled herself up from the floor, her entire body shaking, but managed to nod her head.

"NOW!" Rafael practically yelled at her when she didn't move. She squeaked and turned but since she didn't move fast enough, Rafael decided to go for his own phone.

Doing so didn't let him see everything. His phone was on the other side and by the time he picked it up, it was too late. He turned around, phone pressed to his ear, and saw the same gun aimed at him.