#regarding older brothers i've heard some say it's good to have one

[harmonysanreads]

I have an older brother but we do not get along well whatsoever. He causes me so much stress and anger, it legit messess up my fricking period. In a way it's not his fault bc he's mentally ill but he's so ARROGANT EW

Sounds like a normal sibling dynamic to me lmao

Now that I think about, I have a cousin who's exactly like this and he's a total menace to his younger sister (and me) as well 💀

[andreal831]

Is Klaus a good father?

I've been holding this one back for a while and if you are in this fandom, I'm sure you can imagine why. But recently on tik tok someone told me that I just "didn't understand" Klaus' character. But I promise you I do. Which is why I struggle to like him for most of the show.

Because for 90% of the show Klaus is a terrible brother and father.

We can't talk about Klaus and fatherhood without first talking about Marcel. Klaus took Marcel in with the pretense of adopting him. But he allowed his own jealousy to rob Marcel of having any kind of typical childhood. Elijah wanted to educate Marcel and we see they bonded pretty quickly when Marcel first comes to live with them. And most parents would be thrilled to see a child who has lost his mother and experienced so much trauma was still able to connect with someone and be excited about learning. Instead, he is jealous and releases Kol. He allows Kol to completely go off the rails in the same house where a very mortal child is living.

We don't see any more of their relationship until he is older and we see Klaus interfere with Marcel and Rebekah. Again, some people say it's to protect Marcel, but it wasn't. It followed the same pattern of abuse against Rebekah that we've seen before. He continues to rob Marcel of his choices, with joining the war, with dating Rebekah, and then later by trying to steal the city Marcel had worked over 200 years to solidify. Klaus does not take Marcel in because he wants to be a father, he takes him in because he wants a warrior friend. Which is why he released Kol when he felt Elijah "stole" Marcel from him. He never truly wanted family, he had that. He wanted someone who would go along with his debauchery.

And then Klaus finds out about Hope.

Klaus' first reaction to finding out of Hope's existence was to tell the witches to kill Hayley and the baby. Which I don't fully hold against him since he didn't trust it was his and was scared. But even after he accepts the baby is his and Elijah brings Hayley back to the house, Klaus shows almost no interest in Hayley or the baby. Rather, he is on a power quest to take over New Orleans from his first child.

The first time we get any sense Klaus cares whether the baby lives or dies is when he nearly chokes Hayley to death. I'm sorry, but that is not a sweet moment. It is abuse.

Throughout season 1 we see Elijah and Hayley grow close while Klaus is absent for most of the pregnancy. Klaus even leaves a pregnant Hayley in the woods alone with Elijah while he is suffering from his wolf venom. Elijah could have killed Hayley and Hope, and very nearly did if it wasn't for Eve. Klaus showed no regard for their safety because he got his feelings hurt that his brother doubted his intentions. Intentions that should have been questioned. Elijah had seen Klaus seek power over family for a thousand years and the last thing he heard from Klaus about the baby was he wanted a legacy, not a baby. Yes, there are a couple of moments where we see he cares or is afraid, but he does very little to actually help Hayley throughout her pregnancy. In fact, he kidnaps her and lets his brother watch over her instead of him.

Then Hope is born. Yes, Klaus clearly cares for her. I'm not denying that. But Klaus is a textbook narcissist and they historically do not make the best parents. We see a moment of selflessness when he agrees to send Hope off with Rebekah and clean up the mess he's made in New Orleans. But again, he relies on Elijah to clean it up while he mopes and isn't concerned about the mother of his child until Elijah forces him to.

Again, we have a sweet scene with Hayley and Klaus reuniting with Hope, but it makes no sense that they left her with Elijah. Elijah who was still struggling to control himself after being mentally and physically tortured. The only protection Hope has is Cami who would not be able to protect Hope if Elijah lost control.

Another moment people think is cute, but I find incredibly manipulative, is when Klaus has Cami and Elijah bring Hope back to New Orleans. The city is still unsafe. In fact she had just been attacked by Finn and Freya was on the loose, someone they didn't trust, Rebekah was missing. It was not the time to bring her back. But Klaus wanted to make sure he had his werewolf army, which Hayley went through with the wedding. A good parent would put their child's safety over anything. Hope should have stayed out of New Orleans until he was sure they could protect her. But Klaus continuously puts his own wants over even Hope's safety.

We don't see much of Hope and Klaus' interactions in the month they all live together. In fact, we see Jackson with Hope more. And that's still limited. Hope is sent out to the bayou repeatedly. A lot of this is because Klaus was busy dealing with all of the threats from his family. Again, it was not safe to bring Hope back yet.

When Dahlia shows up, Klaus goes off the rails. People love to say he was a master manipulator, but he really was just going with the flow and picking the most chaotic option available to him. He admitted to killing a friend of the wolves, effectively losing the army he worked so hard to ensure and causing doubt amongst his whole family about his trustworthiness. Again, instead of putting Hope's safety first, he lets his paranoia lead him and he puts Hope in more danger. Dahlia only finds Hope because he hands over his blood. Instead of working with his siblings to defeat Dahlia while Hayley runs with Hope, he betrays everyone and then curses Hayley. Once again, because he's a narcissist and thinks he is the only one who can protect Hope. This is in direct contradiction to the fact that he's seen his family and Hayley fight to the death for Hope already.

For perspective, I think we need a timeline of Hope's life so far: Hope was born and her mother was murdered while holding her mere second after her birth. Then within a few days sent away from her mother. Mothers bonding with babies in the first few days is so important for development. Rebekah raises her for 6 months or so and then she gets to see her mom for a night and her dad for a couple of hours. Cami and Elijah take care of her for a few weeks and then she's in New Orleans living with Hayley, Klaus, and Jackson (people this 7 month only baby really doesn't even know) for a month. Then after adjusting for a month, she loses Hayley and Jackson for 6 more months. Hope is surrounded by Klaus, Freya, and Elijah -- again, people she doesn't really know. The first year of her life is full of upheaval and she is not able to create a secure attachment with anyone. Klaus only makes this worse by taking Hayley away for six months.

And before you say, 'he did it to save her life.' He made absolutely no effort to help save her and even objected to Elijah bringing Hope out to the bayou. It was a punishment for Hayley believing she knew what was best for Hope even though he was behaving in the exact same way. He also apologizes for it and says he was wrong later. He even agrees he shouldn't have done it.

This is where I get frustrated with Klaus stans. People always want to say he has the best character development, but when I call him out for his early behavior, they get upset. It's because of his early behavior we were able to see any growth.

And we do see growth. To me, the most growth is at the end of season 3. Throughout season 3, we also don't see Klaus interact with Hope very much. Hope is mostly just with Hayley or out in the bayou, basically unprotected. But at the end, he finally realizes what it means to be a father. He tells Hayley to take Hope and run. He puts Hope above his own desires. This is the most selfless we ever see Klaus. And it does cost him. He misses out on five years of Hope's life.

When he wakes up, he is still in that same headspace (thank you Cami). The family decides to leave New Orleans alone and abandon the fight with Marcel. This is shocking behavior for Klaus. But he wants to raise his daughter in peace. I love the couple of episodes we get here with them. But then the Hollow happens and they have to go back to New Orleans. Where Klaus imprisons his first child, Marcel. I'm sorry, but no matter what Hope did, Klaus would never treat her the way he treated Marcel. Whether it's racist, sexist, or based on him not being blood, you decide.

Klaus is only in Hope's life for about a week until he has to leave because of the Hollow. Again, this is peek Klaus parenting in this one week. But then while he's gone, he goes off the deep end. He claims it is to keep Elijah safe, but in reality, it is because he has nothing tethering him. Once Hope sees him, he completely cuts her off. He never actually learned to be an everyday father. He only knew how to make the big gestures. He doesn't know how to sit down with her and explain or even how to reach out to Hayley and have an adult conversation. He abandons his daughter to the point that she kidnaps her own mother to get his attention. He falls back into his old habits, putting his comfort over his daughter. Because it's easier to ignore her than to face the harsh reality of dealing with the terrible things he's done and trying to be an actual better person for Hope.

We don't see Klaus act as a parent for another 7 years. And this whole season was just a mess. I do understand he can't be close to her. But they have magic and phones, he could have contacted her better. He should have been more involved. If you follow me on tik tok, you already know how ridiculous I think Hayley's death episode was.

Hayley's death would have been the hardest thing Hope has ever gone through. I hate season 5 for making her bounce back so quickly. Hayley was the one constant in Hope's life. I know everyone wants to act like Klaus' death should have impacted her more, but she didn't really know him. He was more of an idea to her than an actual person.

Hope was falling apart for most of season 5, so Klaus gets the bright idea to kill himself less than a week after Hope loses her mother. This is portrayed as the ultimate sacrifice for his daughter, but it was incredibly selfish. Elijah was willing and able to die by himself, but because Klaus didn't want another man to die for his daughter, Hope had to lose both her parents in the span of a week. Not only that, but feel responsible for their deaths. I will be the first to admit, season 5 was just bad writing because the showrunners were ready to move on to Legacies. But it's all we have.

All of the development we see with Klaus is destroyed in season 5. I am hard on Klaus' character because this fandom loves to let him get away with everything. But I do genuinely like aspects of his character. And, as I said, I do love the one week of his relationship with Hope, but it's not enough to overshadow the danger and hurt he put her through. 

[ryuichirou]

Replies

A couple of replies.

Anonymous asked:

"She never touches herself down there for any reason other than hygiene, although she probably should."

I agree, Ryuichi, she definitely should. Don't tell a certain Eel that she's never touched herself down there 👀 It won't end good.

(this is related to this hc post from yesterday)

Wink wink, Anon. A certain eel would absolutely be a horrible influence on her! We can’t let that happen! (we absolutely can and we are going to)

Anonymous asked:

do you any headcanons about which twst characters would be brocons/siscons? i mean other then Idia as he’s nearly canonically one lol

This is such a good question, Anon; one of the most important ones I would say lol

Yeah, the fact that Idia was straight-up called a brocon in canon at least once is very telling; even if it doesn’t imply anything incestuous, it’s still funny how people’s first reaction to his relationship with Ortho is “wow that’s… hm”.

I don’t think there is anyone who would be brocon/siscon to the same level as Idia, but let’s get through the list of characters who have siblings very quickly! I hope I don’t forget anyone…

The tweels’ relationship are interesting, but don’t necessarily feel brocon-like; Ace isn’t a brocon, I feel like his relationship with his brother are pretty typical, same goes for Jamil and Najma. Trey and Jack both are just caring older brothers who are a bit parental towards their younger siblings, so it’s also a little different. Rook is a middle child of a big family and never really talks about his relationship with his siblings, so I guess this is also a “no”; Sebek also isn’t overly attached to his siblings…

While Cater absolutely isn’t a siscon, his sisters could be brocons! Yes, they’re pretty mean towards him, but it doesn’t mean that they there isn’t some unhealthy attachments going on lol Maybe even in an incestuous way, who knows? If Cater had a brother though, he himself would be a brocon.

Kalim also isn’t a brocon/siscon, but one of his 30+ siblings could easily be obsessed with him, I can picture that surprisingly easily…

Now, Leona. Leona is a brocon, whether he likes it or not lol He is just in very deep tsundere denial. I choose to think that his own grievances regarding how Falena treats him are a big reason for his overall bitterness/bitchiness.

Could Rollo be considered a brocon? I would love it. I think it’s fair to call him one lol

I also think that if Riddle had an older sibling, he would be a huge brocon/siscon. He just has this vibe… maybe it’s just my wishful thinking.

Anonymous asked:

TWST size anon here!  How long have the others been playing?  I've been playing since almost the Eng server's start and have done almost everything and have a lot of cards.  So the game's a tiny bit more than 13 GB for me.  And I know some people have had to stop playing cause the game got too big for their old phones.  Clearing the cache sadly doesn't do much

Just posting it because I don’t really have anything to add.

Anonymous asked:

Do you know the game That’s Not My Neighbour?

Nope, never heard of it! But seen some spicy fanart floating around.

[nerves-nebula]

I hope this isn't an unwelcome addition re: your vent about race, but it reminds me of my own experiences.

I didn't know I was latino until I was 13. Yeah there were *very* strong "hints", what with the whole "grandparents only speak spanish with limited english", "parents can speak spanish", "we're brown (except for my mum)", & "eat spanish food at grandparents". But like. I had never heard someone say what we actually were and I was afraid it'd be racist if I assumed we were latino if we might not be. For some reason.

Hah, I remember getting kinda mad at people who (rightly) criticized the "ambiguously brown" trope in media, because it was the experience I most related to. That's what *I* was. I wasn't anything specific, I was just ambiguosly brown for most of my life.

So like. I finally asked my dad what we were and he was essentially like "haha what are you stupid or something. We're LATINO obviously, what a silly question!"

So I just went "Oh okay." And pumped the brakes on our conversation. Quickly after I realised that that wasn't enough for me. "Latino" is a rather broad category, I wanted to know what *exactly* we were.

I felt kind of stupid after that though, and I didn't want to draw attention to how stupid I was by asking a follow up question (nor did I want to talk to my dad), so I just didn't until I was 16.

I got to thinking about it again, and I realised that El Salvador had been mentioned quite a few times in regards to ~parent lore~ (I truly did not know much about my parents. I literally didn't even remember my mum had an older brother. So I'd just try to piece together their stories whenever they ranted to us about like how our other parent had ruined their life or something. Bits and pieces they'd shared with us over the years).

So I texted my dad about it (who I was thankfully far away from by then. Funnily enough this was one of our last conversations before I cut contact with him), and he said we were salvadorians 👍. So yeah.

But like. I feel so disconnected to my culture. I don't even know what our culture IS. And despite now living in a place with many latinos, I feel like I still can't get into it. Firstly because it would involve me interacting with people. But secondly (and most importantly) because I feel like interacting with latinos would just reveal to them how unlatino I am. I can't speak spanish. I know nothing about us.

One thing about it is that I feel like I have to learn Spanish before I'm allowed to try to engage. But learning a whole language takes so much time. And I don't like doing it because it reminds me that I don't already know it! And I *should*!

Oh well. Not like I could've learned it when I was younger, or in that house with my dad. I don't know why they didn't raise us bilingually. But it's not like I could've learned it when I was young either, my dad makes fun of my mum for her spanish (she spoke exclusively Spanish when she was younger, but had to learn English when she moved to the US at 8. She lost a lot of her Spanish since then), which would make me way too nervous to practice spanish and be bad at it at first with him around (he somehow didn't think that would impact us? He ended up wanting us to learn spanish, so good luck with that when you act like *that*).

Also. I keep worrying that I look white. I've always been light skinned, but until 8th grade I thought it was obvious I wasn't white?? But maybe not so. It's not like I can ask people.

In 8th grade the teacher briefly left the room and left me in charge of it (I was seen as the most responsible/trustworthy), so I made a joke about me turning out to be a dictator, to which someone joked about that being racist, to which I said "It's not racist, 'cus I'm not white" (in a manner that I *hoped* conveyed that I was *joking*, and that the joke was that poc can still definitely be racist (I mean c'mon just be around my dad, you'll see)).

And he just stared deadpan at me. I thought he confused me for white, so I kept reiterating that I wasn't, and he just stared and stared at me the whole time.

I realised later that maybe he thought I was being serious, and that was why he wasn't smiling, or maybe he just didn't think the joke was funny.

But like. I couldn't know. "Later" was actually quite a *while* later, so at that point I was already out of school at home all day, under the pretense of "homeschooling" (there was never any schooling).

I don't even know why it matters if I look white. There are plenty of latinos I know of that could pass as white, who I never doubt are latino. Ugh. I don’t know. This is an issue that could be solved by interacting with more latinos. In fact, all of these issues could be solved by hanging out with more latinos. I gotta get over myself sometime and realise that there are PLENTY of latinos who are disconnected from their culture and who don’t know spanish so it's FINE interacting with fellow latinos is FINE there's no way I can fail some sort of latino authenticity test. Whatever. Problems and solutions for later.

because I feel like interacting with latinos would just reveal to them how unlatino I am. I can't speak spanish. I know nothing about us.

hahh. sameee

This is an issue that could be solved by interacting with more latinos.

also same... UNFORTUNATE!

i getcha tho. and i also get the whole "not knowing what we are until i'm a teen" thing. ive always thought it was weird that my mom and dad know a ton about their own family histories but never really made much effort to impress it into us. EH oh well.

[akihabaradivision]

Keiko's Thoughts on Party of Words

Otome Tohoten

"Otome-sama, the Prime Minister of Japan, and my current Commander and leader. I truly do value and appreciate everything that she's done for me since joining the Party of Words. She was the once who financed and helped me to create my manga, Yashin-ka no aka (Red of the Ambitious). I consider her something akin to a... 'mother figure'." Keiko then looks away, mumbling under her breathe. "She's certainly steps above that woman that actually gave birth to me." She then looks back to the camera.

"As stated, Otome-sama is a revolutionary person. I will admit, some of her decisions and choices, I don't fully understand. Some have even made me question just exactly what is going on inside her head. But I suppose that is why she is the Prime Minister, and I am not. Her plans and ideas are another spectrum and it's not my place to question them. I just have to maintain hope that everything she is doing is all for the good of Chuohku and Japan. I've no doubt that they are."

Ichijiku Kadenokoji

"Ichijiku-sama, the Deputy Prime Minister, and the second most-powerful person in Chuohku and Japan, after Otome-sama. I see more of her than I do Otome-sama. Of course, that's no surprise since Otome-sama is often busy in meetings and with her duties as the Prime Minister. Whenever she is absent, Ichijiku-sama often takes over. She is a true loyal servant to both Chuohku and Otome-sama. I've seen for myself how often the Prime Minister relies on her.

"...I have to admit, when I first met her, I was worried that she'd be the type of woman who would abuse her power or position. But thankfully, she's not like that at all. Though she often demands much from us, it's simply because she knows we can do better for Chuohku and the Prime Minister. And I agree with her wholeheartedly.

"One thing I will say about Ichijiku-sama, however, is that I often have to worry about her misandry. It's no secret that she hates all men, or doesn't hold them in the highest regard. I don't think she'd shed a tear if all the men in the world suddenly just vanished! From what I heard and read about her, apparently Ichijiku-sama's younger sister and best friend were both killed by a corrupt male pale politician. I can understand how she feels. I'm an only child, but if someone killed one of my best friends, I'd have reason to hate them too. But still, I hope that someday she can see that not all men are as evil and devious as she believes."

Nemu Aohitsugi

"Nemu-san, the one that I currently work under as her secretary and assistant. Even though I'm older than her, I still consider her above me, and therefore, give her the respect that she deserves. Working under her is a blessing and one that I don't take for granted. She takes her role as the Vice Chief of the Administrative Inspection Bureau seriously, and often has me come alongside her whenever we are investigating any suspicious activity. In a sense, I guess you call us Japan's 'GAO' (Government Accountability Office). Without revealing too much on-screen, we receive complaints, opinions, and requests from the public regarding government action and offer mediation necessary for their resolution. We also periodically deal with big-time problems, like the Yakuza.

"...Speaking of the Yakuza, I still find it hard to believe that a woman like Nemu-san is actually related to Samatoki from Yokohama. I remember after our failed attempt to arrest her brother, Nemu-san was dismissed from work for a week while she recovered. Ichijiku-sama chastised us both for doing that without her or Otome-sama's permission. Still, despite who she is or isn't related to, I still value and follow after Nemu-san. And if she ever needs my assistance, she only has to ask."

[spacecadetspe]

A snippet from last year…

Jun. 26, 2023

This past weekend has been a roller coaster.

I stayed at the Archipelago for several days in a row, and if I'm honest, I'm pretty sure I could stand a few more days.

Phantasos led me to a place where I could get a massage; one of his brothers, Yiorgos ("Doctor") has a pleasant little massage studio on the main island. They burned Oudh and attar for me in my room and set me up with a blood orange mimosa. Phantasos asked me what kind of massage I wanted, but if I'm honest I only know of a few kinds... and then kinds that don't really qualify as massages.

I nervously told him I'd never had the "happy ending" sort, and opted instead for a myofascial release therapy.

Yiorgos is the best massage therapist, bar none. I was more lucid and had more energy than I've had in a long time. I followed a couple dreamers around the Archipelago and got to explore a few of the caves they had built their city around.

The dreamers I followed weren't random choices. One of my mom's brothers came to the Archipelago seeking closure for his grief, and as it happened, so did my father. Perhaps I'll escort them both to a viewing room where they can each check up on their mothers sometime. I don't really want to step on Hades' toes any more than necessary. He's probably tired of hearing from me.

The thought saddens me more than it should. I really should be over Hades, and not care about how he feels about the things I do. He still begrudges Cure's fight with Alecto, as if I had anything to do with it. But part of me still wants to love him, and that means I hate when he's mad at me. I don't like being guilted for things I can't control. I just make the best decisions I can at the time, and that's all I can do.

So I'm probably not going to escort my father or my uncle to the UFU anytime soon.

But I got to spend some time with them in the Dream World, and I enjoyed that.

I met my father while sunbathing in a shallow, rocky creek. The sun and water were nice, but I was soon accosted by what looked like fat blue lobsters. The tiny invasion spread out in every direction from where the revelers played, and each of us wound up tiptoeing around the crustaceans to get out of the water.

Once I was out of the way of their pincers, I found my way to a bigger area where the invasion hadn't occurred yet; a high diving platform in the middle of the water. Just as I was about to go back out into the sun, I heard a shout and turned around. An older lady was yelling in my face, demanding I meet her needs and saying I was "not allowed" to help anyone else before her. When I tried to speak, she drew back and slapped me hard enough to leave a bruise.

I wasn't angry, or particularly startled. My mind went "Okay, I guess this is how we're doing things," and settled in for an unpleasant encounter. I wound up and socked her right back, knocking her to the ground. I slowly walked over and kneeled down on her blouse so she couldn't get up, and licked my teeth.

"Now that I've knocked that sense of entitlement out of you," I said evenly, "you should know we do things differently here. You can treat these good people with some decency, or I will go out of my way to make your stay as deeply unpleasant as I can. Understood?"

She nodded quickly, and I woke up.

Phantasos met me a bit later to tend to my wounds. We made a poultice of bittercress, yarrow, usnea, oil, and wax, and bandaged my black eye. He then mentioned he had work to do regarding seagulls, and opened a portal to the very spot I had been sunbathing in earlier.

"That wouldn't happen to be because of a certain crustacean invasion, would it?" I asked.

He nodded. "They have no natural predators, so they run rampant."

"No natural predators except...?"

"Seagulls."

"And if seagulls will eat them, we probably can too!"

He looked at me quizzically. "What do you propose we do?"

I followed him through the portal. "Let's go fishing."

He rounded up a crew, and we piled into a pair of caïque fishing boats. He asked me to captain the lead boat, since I actually have some real world experience, and we went out to trawl the waters. We weren't too far out when we cast our nets, but the haul was bigger (and stronger) than expected. Some of the lobsters we caught were upwards of 6 feet long! I had the fishermen throw back the egg-laying females, and helped them bind the claws of each one.

All of a sudden, something big bumped the boat, knocking everyone to the starboard side. Phantasos gave a shout that there was a "guest of honor" off to port, and just as I looked, a claw emerged from the waves, as tall as the burgee! The matriarch of the pod was bigger than the boat! Phantasos jumped overboard and grabbed one of its antennae to steer it away, but even he couldn't hold it steady for long. After a while, it just made sense that I take matters into my own hands. After all, we had to get the big one back in to dock.

I jumped overboard to help just as Phantasos jumped back in. I used my power to expand myself to a giant size, and picked up the queen lobster with one hand.

We now have fresh lobster for weeks, if not months. It's all a matter of storing it, and that won't be an issue. I can always build tanks for them, or keep them on ice in the mountains. It seems like a long-lived species, so it'll be good to share them.

I'll bet Grandmother would love some lobster rolls. Everyone was arguing which dishes to make first with the fresh catch, and poor Cyril (the poissonier) was flabbergasted by the sheer amount of meat we got from the big mama. That night, he sent up a simple lobster tail and salmon fillet dinner with summer vegetables. With a fatty fish like salmon, he left the lobster without butter, and it was light and delicate. It makes my mouth water all over again, just thinking about it!

I can't wait to see what the Jotnar think of it. Perhaps I'll take some to the astral guides, as well. The Chef might enjoy it!

I might take a platter of lobster rolls to the UFU, as well. I miss them, and this would be a great way to honor Grandmother and thank them for their service.

[dzpenumbra]

5/12/23

Today was a really weird day. I... got a full night's sleep. Which, in itself, is very odd and disorienting. I started the day with yoga, as usual. Since New Year's, I've only missed one day.

The yoga I did today, and have been doing the past 3 days, was from the 30 day challenge I did back in January. I usually just pick whatever video pops up in my feed from the same person, and it threw in that series and it's just running me back through them. And this one was very focused on gaze, on using your attention and focus and that whole part of yoga... which is a part that I had never heard anyone talk about in regards to yoga before this woman.

Intense focus, not just... cognitive focus, like concentration... but like... staring and only absorbing one thing. Like staring at a spot on a wall and focusing on just that, despite other things happening around you... Okay, I have really struggled with the form of meditation that's like... just let go of your thoughts and just exist. That's been a lifelong struggle for me. But this hyper-fixation, hyper-focus method is one that I found intuitively as a child. It got me through some of the most difficult moments of my life. And it's super subtle and hard to describe. It's an odd thing, it's hard for me to put into words exactly what the act of simply focusing intently on one thing can do when there is intense stress, negativity and chaos around you.

I used to use that technique for balance practice since I was a child, it makes a profound difference. I adapted it for working out when I was training for soccer and basketball. It helped me when I was doing excruciating wall-sits and leg raises when I was into competitive fencing, and gave me a massive advantage. But the memory that comes back most clear when I think of the drishti was holiday dinners with my family. When we would sit at the dining room table and we'd have some big dinner that my mom insisted on cooking herself despite all 3 of her sons loving to cook, and then complaining about how laborious it was after the fact... but in the past decade decided to say "fuck this" and just order tons of food from a local Italian eatery that she frequents... And we'd have a few candles lit. And my mom would be sitting at the kitchen-most end of the table to my left, my older brother across from me, my younger brother to my right, and my dad at the head of the table. And within minutes the conversation would inevitably go to (and stay at) either the stock market or current events/politics. And my little brother and I might have a little side conversation to stay sane. But not always. And when it was more difficult... especially when I was younger, like teens and early 20's... I would just... eat and stare at the candle. Just... kinda enduring. Just kinda bearing it and putting up appearances, being "present" while not present at all. And the focal point of the constantly breathing flame made what would otherwise be like nails on a chalkboard... slightly more bearable. In a very hard to define way.

So yeah, the yoga practice was kinda all about that, and using your gaze and focus to help smooth out movements and bring more intention to how you move and how you are postured. It was very interesting and I enjoyed it much more now than I did when I first watched the video, because I have a much deeper understanding of yoga than I did back then. However... it was pretty hard emotionally, because it brought me back to like... when Max was here. And hanging out with her and shit, and that was tough. But it was good overall.

I added on more exercises after the yoga, ab exercises and some back stuff too. It's still doing good for me. I'm a bit cautious about doing it every day... like, without a rest day... but it's been noticeably getting me in better shape.

Here's probably the best part of the day, I might as well get right to that. I got 3 emails this morning - all confirmations of my Etsy deliveries!!! So... I got this new soap, which... was severely overpriced, if I'm being honest... but it's really nice. It's a homemade thing and it's a unique Nag Champa blend, and I like it. I also got a propagation tray for plant cuttings - it's a hanging thing with 8 glass tubes, and you fill them with water and put your plant cuttings in it and they grow in there. And... to go with that... I got 6 Pothos cuttings that were in pristine condition. Standing ovation for that person. So, I set those up in the tubes and hung them on a nail in the brick wall by my window and... I have 6 new plant friends now! :)

Convenient timing as my orchid seems to be on its last legs. I don't know how their life cycle works, but all but the last flower has fallen off. I think it has kinda run its course. I'll do some research to see if that's true, but yeah, it's okay! I've had it since like... late January, I've been genuinely shocked it has lived this long!

So yeah, that got me really excited. I love seeing more life in this home. It's a very dramatic contrast to the skull I'm working on right now, and all the death I've seen this year. It's beautifully poetic, and I'm really kinda sad I never got into indoor gardening until this year. I'm very tempted to try to grow grape vines indoors... I wonder if that's a thing... Hmm... Or maybe raspberries... I'll have to look into that. Fruit is getting so fucking expensive nowadays, I'd love to just grow my own.

One notable moment from today was... I went up to the package room before showering. And I didn't even get to shower yesterday, I just got too caught up and distracted. So... I hadn't showered in 2 days... and I had just worked out... and I threw some clothes on and had a big garbage bag in my hand as I was walking up the stairs to the package room... and I passed a very attractive woman. And... I didn't feel anxious. I didn't feel insecure. It was just... a moment. Like any other day. And I keep looking back at this tiny everyday moment and going... please remember that. I work these things up so big. I get so neurotic about "I have to be presentable", "I have to be showered", "I have to be 100% awake and present". Perfectionism. (I will come back to that very shortly.) But when the real-world situation actually comes up? It's fucking nothing!

Okay, let's use an example. The 4-stair over in the park that I was snowskating on last winter. The first time I went out there... I looked at that set and it was like... a dream to ollie that thing someday. I genuinely didn't think I was going to be brave enough to ollie it that winter. I remember being scared to bomb-drop it! It took a lot for me to get myself to jump down that thing. Mostly because it was my first real stairset on a snowskate. And I had to really dig deep to find out why, like what exactly am I afraid is going to happen? I've ollied bigger drops than that... but the stairs themselves were getting in my head. I was afraid I couldn't clear the stairs, and I was afraid I was going to scratch the shit out of the bottom of my board and then not be able to skate all winter. That was my primary fear. And, to be honest, that's a legitimate fear. Snowskates are not cheap, and not even always in stock to replace, especially in the winter, especially in the early winter. So, there was enough logic for it to take root. So... what did I do? I packed snow on top of the bottom two stairs. Yep, that simple. I just packed some snow on top as like a... protective buffer of sorts... so if I did come up a bit short, I wouldn't scrape on concrete and fuck up my board. And that was really all the security I needed to throw myself down it. And then... I started to get a gauge of how far out I was ollieing down it. And by the end of the winter, I had ollied that set a few dozen times and I don't think I even came close to clipping the bottom stair one time.

So... that anticipatory anxiety... coupled with a vivid narrative that had concrete (pun intended) logical consequences... that was enough to talk me out of even trying the set for a long time. Weeks. The anticipation is so much different than in-the-moment anxiety, it's nuts. So... translating that to this experience today... normally I would be like... "okay, I need to shower before I go up to the package room." And I say it to myself as though it's a preference, but really... if I challenge it... I find that it's an obligation. Because if I don't, I'm some stinky guy, and then people judge me, and I can't have that, it's bad PR, I need to be making friends, not upsetting the neighbors with my stench. Super insecure, but... you know... it's a thing. But my hack today? My soap was in the package room. XD So I made a deal with myself that I was just going to say fuck it, and then shower when I got back with the new soap. And it worked out absolutely fine, not a hitch. (I'm sure it helped that I was carrying the trash, to be honest... XD)

After all that and the shower, I went to therapy. I opened talking about sleep... we breezed through it and he kinda... changed the topic to a billing/insurance thing. Now... okay. I was a bit offput because... it's my session... and we're talking about billing and shit. But I seized the opportunity to remind him that my situation in life is very different, and my history is very different than others that he's working with. That I'm on some family company insurance... somehow... and that I have no idea what it actually covers... and they don't communicate with me... and I don't even know if I can communicate with them? It's super fucking messy. It was something about a copay and I was just like... "dude, I'm going to pay it, and if my parents decide that they don't want to support me to the degree of supporting therapy for me... they can have that conversation with me." He was concerned that I don't really have income and shit... yeah it's just a mess. And I get his hesitation, and he didn't want to make me panic and knew it was super delicate and is sometimes really traumatically triggering for me. But it was fine. Situations like these are a very... powerless feeling. Very out-of-control. Very... at the whim of my parents' impulses. And that's just how it is right now. Until I can somehow figure out how to generate enough self-sustaining income being the entity that I am.

So yeah, we kinda branched off of that into... talking about anxieties. And a lot of that... at least 15 minutes of it... really felt deeply familiar. It's this thing that happens sometimes, that used to happen much more often when I was more confident and more... unaware of the dangers of the world, I guess... the Eden days... But people... just start opening up to me. And I don't mind it at all, I'm always honored by it. I try my best to aid with that, to offer space and guidance if I have any. But I could really tell that he was struggling with this kind of thing and a big chunk of my time today kinda... felt like a therapy session for him. And... it's not the first time I've been in that situation. And I don't know what it is about me that has that effect, but this is the... I think the 3rd therapist that this has happened with now? One I made sympathetically cry, and he volunteered a history of alcohol abuse. One opened up to me about his marital problems and I offered advice. And... well, here's where I come back around to the Perfectionism thing I said I was going to come back around to. This guy struggles with making sure everything is right and not fucking up anything. And that's anxiety, you know?

So... instead of getting grumpy and going "yo, this is unprofessional, this is my time"... I related that I have the same issues. That a lot of my anxieties are anticipatory and based on this... perfection thing. It's like... well, he brought in the whole duality of logic/structure brain vs. emotion/intuition brain. And perfectionism is like... hyper-logic. It's like... almost a god complex when you think about it. Like... "if I make sure that I am fully bathed and properly scented at all times, I will never have a moment when anyone judges me for smelling bad. Therefor, my actions control their judgment." Which is... ironically... a logical fallacy. But we really... well.. that part of our psyche really doesn't like to face the fact that there are some things in this life that we just do not control. Right? That's when that part of the brain starts doing some reeeeeal funky shit. I mean, for fuck's sake, there are some gazillionaires out there that have this trait so out of whack that they truly think that they can bypass death itself. Like mortality is a matter that is in their hands. Control is a hell of a drug.

I think I was exactly the right person for him to talk to. And I could feel an emotional connection, a literal tearing up when it connected. On both sides. I shared with him about... my improvised ink drawings. I told him that the core of my improvised abstract work is... to focus more on the present moment. Adaptation, adjustment, riffing. Rather than meticulous planning and flawless execution. And this method of training your ability to react in the moment... it's a very Zen kinda thing... and it brings you to this place where you start to realize that... fucking up isn't really... a thing. It's all just part of the story. It's all just scenes in a story that's unfolding, it's always in flux. "There is no beginning, there is no end." That was a quote he gave to me when the shit I was saying started to resonate with him and help him reconnect to that. I think he was worried about fucking up billing? And then accidentally screwing someone over with a billing issue when... I mean... a lot of fucking people are hurting financially right now. So, 100% legitimate fear, right? Completely. I'd be shitting myself too. But I was saying... yo, what I'm trying to do is focus more on like... my ability to react to those situations in the moment, when they come up. So if there's a billing problem, can I handle that? Can I follow up on that, can I make it right? Because no one is fuckin perfect. And shit happens. And the good ones catch it and make it right and say they're sorry it happened. And the bad ones double down and blame the victim... and ask for fucking tips when you're picking up takeout and sketchy shit like that.

So... it made me feel... human again. To be able to give life advice to someone. To anyone. Especially to reciprocate to someone who has helped ground me through some of the hardest times I've been through. It's... a tough boundary to negotiate, the professional/personal boundary. And I have unintentionally crossed it and enticed others to cross it before. And it's very nebulous so... yeah, even that is debatable. But this did a lot of good for my mental health, and helped massively to remind me of the same exact issues that I'm dealing with, and how well I'm doing lately at navigating them.

But one moment stuck out most of all from that session today. He highly and emphatically praised my intelligence and my ability to articulate my thoughts and experience of life. And he did it genuinely, and there was emotion behind it. And it... I don't really have words, honestly. It both made me feel honored... and was a weird reminder of how alone I am at the same time. Like I was sharing two very strong emotions - big pride boost to the point of welling tears, and... a weird shade of hopelessness in the background. Like... if I'm a Rare or Legendary Pokemon, what are the chances of me finding someone else like me around here? Someone else who even understands me? Which seems to be my eternal curse.

Welp... I found one! So... there's that. But I'll tell ya this much... I'm guaranteed to not meet anyone if I just sit in my apartment all day every day.

I think what I need to do... is just go on a solo tour of the local art galleries. Just go and visit and look at what they have and absorb the culture and then maybe see if I can strike up a conversation with the curators. Share a little about what kind of creature I am and see if it leads to them having any ideas of a place for me.

I do have to say though... I've been having a strong pull towards nature again. I think that's pretty obvious with all the plants. And I think it would be really sick to get into doing nature installations, even if I'm just exploring it again.

Okay, well here's me identifying why exactly I'm not calling these places up or dropping by. It's the same shit I ranted about last night. The myth of the "expert". I am insecure about contacting a local nature conservancy place that's like... a few blocks away, that stewards a ton of land... because I don't feel like I have adequate experience to demonstrate that I know what the fuck I'm doing. And I feel like they're going to look at me weird or something, or just flat-out not let me do any work. I mean, they don't even do any art-related stuff, they do music and shit sometimes, but it seems like most of what they do is focused on like... sustainable farming techniques and shit? And my idea would be to like... collaborate with them in learning from them about the practical side... permaculture techniques, soil compositions, ecology, whatever they know and are willing to teach. And as I learn... say I'm learning about where you set up a garden in regards to elevation and topography and stuff like that... Then I use that new knowledge to inspire design work. That's the theory. So... it's not like I can do a proof of concept that is based off of education that I haven't received yet, right? XD

I've had this fear/insecurity for ages that I can't prove to others upfront that I know what I'm doing. I can't prove my legitimacy. And I have no one to vouch for me. So... I get rejected. And rather than face what feels like guaranteed rejection, I just don't bother applying. And... it's a bit of a perfectionism anticipatory anxiety thing, isn't it? XD Right? So... yeah, I'm not perfect. And I usually do really well when I can just get in a room with someone with a shared interest and we get talking. But it feels prohibitively difficult to do that nowadays without having a shoe in the door, a connection. At least in my area, idk. Gone are the days of showing up at someone's house unannounced and knocking on the door. Gone are the days of pounding the pavement and handing in applications wearing a suit and tie (thank fucking god).

So... I guess I gotta just keep getting up to the plate and swinging. So the galleries seems like a good plan. Then I have multiple options, rather than this nature conservancy place that... I mean, there's one. So there's a lot of pressure to not fuck that up. Aka... not lose that opportunity.

So yeah, big day. Weird day. But again, lots of good there. Lots of growth: physically, emotionally, figuratively. And I got more work on both the skull and the ink drawing done today, so just a big win across the board. So, I'm off to bed!

[asongofstarkandtargaryen]

JON SNOW  - FRIENDSHIP

THE LION AND THE WOLF (aka Tyrion and Jon).

Tyrion and Jon are two of the most prominent asoiaf characters.Those two share some similarities, both not totally beloning in their noble families and being discrinimated all their lives for things that are out of their control (Tyrion having dwafism and Jon being a bastard). They also both care for “cripples, bastards and broken things” as Tyrion would say. They care for people who also have a tough time and for the common folk,too. Both when they come to positions of powers, Tyrion becoming hand of King Joffrey and Jon becoming Lord Commander, use their power to try to help the realm; something that other Westerosi rulers can’t claim they do. For these reasons, it’s not hard to see why Tyrion and Jon bonded so easily in such a brief time. Besides, unlike the tv show where Tyrion is in his 40s,in the books he’s only ten years older than Jon. 

Tyrion is the first friend Jon made outside from his family. He also gave him one of the best advices the day they met. One advice that Jon actually followed as he grew and matured more:

"Let me give you some counsel, bastard," Lannister said. "Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armor yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you."

He’s also the only person who told him the harsh truth about the Night’s Watch. Tyrion might be a good person but he doesn’t care about proper etiquette and politeness. He usually tells people what he believes without sugarcoating it (except when he’s being diplomatic in politics but that wasn’t the case there). And Jon really needed  a rude awakening about the Night’s Watch:

No one had told him the Night's Watch would be like this; no one except Tyrion Lannister.

Jon finds Tyrion an interesting fellow.  He’s curious about that fanscinating man and that’s why he observes  Tyrion during their journey towards Castle Black and even asks him about the reasons he reads,

Jon’s POV chapter contains the biggest compliment Martin has even written about Tyrion and this occurs only at the end of their first encounter :

"Remember this, boy. All dwarfs may be bastards, yet not all bastards need be dwarfs." And with that he turned and sauntered back into the feast, whistling a tune. When he opened the door, the light from within threw his shadow clear across the yard, and for just a moment Tyrion Lannister stood tall as a king.

Meanwhile, Tyrion is also fascinated by that silent boy who is at times hard to read even for him (And Tyrion has a master in reading people). He likes that Jon prefer to face an ugly truth instead of ignore it like most people would do. That’s another thing those two have in common:

Jon Snow set his mouth in a grim line. "If that's what it is, that's what it is."

Tyrion grinned at him. "That's good, bastard. Most men would rather deny a hard truth than face it."

Even many months after their brief friendship, Tyrion still has warm feelings for the strange boy he befriended at his time on Castle Black. When a Black Brother visits Kings Landing, Tyrion tells him to give his regards not only to Lord Commander but to Jon Snow as well (The Hand of the King sends his regards to  a simple bastard of the Night’s Watch).

And to hold it you need men, which I've given you . . . as you might have noted, if your ears heard anything but insults. Take them, thank me, and begone before I'm forced to take a crab fork to you again. Give my warm regards to Lord Mormont . . . and to Jon Snow as well." [...]

I can’t wait when they will meet in the future books. I believe those two will stand side by side while facing Westeros’ greatest threat, the Others.

[dandelion-wings]

Regarding your Kaeya age ponderings! I’ve always headcanoned Kaeya to be the older one, mainly cause Diluc has baby face and Kaeya older brothers like. Everyone younger him that he hangs around for five minutes or more.

Kaeya really does, and that's a good reason to headcanon him as older! :D

I think canon leaves this pretty up in the air (I've heard the claim that he calls Diluc 'older brother' in some of the languages where that's a usual part of addressing people, but I've also heard the counterpoint that 'well they're sworn brothers in Chinese and the language doesn't always reflect physical age with that' and ultimately, I don't have the linguistic or cultural context to make determinations there, I'm working entirely from the English version and it doesn't say solidly one way or the other, so). Until miHoYo deigns to give us actual ages, I choose to consider it a matter of speculation and headcanons, and everyone's is valid.

Personally I enjoy Kaeya both ways, there's something to be said for the vibes it gives him/them whether he's older or younger, but I tend to prefer writing Diluc as older because it's easier for me to relate to him that way. I know I've mentioned before that Diluc is one of the harder characters for me to get into the head of, and making him the older brother gives me an access point for him, as an older sibling myself with a lot of personal parallels for the family situation that I tend to write the Ragnvindrs in. (What is fandom for if not projection, after all?) Really the "third rail" @theabysscomeshome and I were tossing around appeals to me so much in part because it allows me to indulge all possible elements of that: Kaeya acting as the younger brother when they were kids, stepping up as an older brother more generally as a young adult (indulging feelings he never got to with Diluc with Amber, Bennett, and Klee...), and Diluc stubbornly hanging onto the "older brother" responsibilities throughout, even after he finds out otherwise, because that's become part of his personal identity no matter how angry he is at Kaeya!

[thefanficmonster]

Hey Vy! 📚🌻 Anon here, once again!

I'm so happy that you missed the 3 word challenge cause I missed reading it! It is such a good way to deal with writers block, for example.

Okay so, recently I've watched the Korea tv show Round 6 (also called squid game), and I've watched the 3 seasons of NBC Hannibal.

I do recommend both for you to watch but be careful cause there is a lot of blood, murder, organs, canibalism (in Hannibal)(Not raw tho), so if you have a weak stomach or just don't like it, it may not be the show for you. (But Hannibal have canon gay so we forgive).

Since Im deeply inspired by this two shows, today you will have a 5 word challenge, inspired somehow by something in the show! (Ps: i chose to not put "graphic words" cause I don't know what you are comfortable or not writing, so i didn't put words like canibalism or murder)

The words are: Beloved, Becoming, Mongoose, Debt and VIP.

Unnecessary explanation of the words that I chose (you can skip this 🤧):

Beloved: Reference to Hannibal (main character in the tv show Hannibal), cause he calls Will beloved sometimes.

Becoming: Reference to Hannibal. Basically Will (main character) will throughout the show become a murder, and Hannibal refers to that as his Becoming. Hannibal also uses that word as in a reference to Will being free and himself. (Being a murder and being true to yourself is pretty much the same thing here).

Mongoose: Reference to Hannibal. That's how will is called by Hannibal sometimes. So cute <3

Debt: reference to Squid Game. Every character is in a deep debt.

VIP: Reference to Squid Game. VIP are really important and rich (also disgustingly horrible people), and they kind of fund the game.

If you made this far, here's a cool music indication: "Black butterflies and deja Vu" by The Maine

That's it! Bye Vy! Sorry for writing too much, <3!

SQUID GAME YOU SAY!!! - Sorry for the caps but I got really excited 😂 Although I haven't seen Hannibal (I'll take your recommendation for it, for sure!) I have seen and I'm OBSESSED with Squid Game. Thank you so much for your five word challenge, I've really missed doing this!

I will most definitely write a Squid Game fic in the future but as of now I’m gonna turn to my new obsession - Ari Aster horror movies! Enjoy!

Shadows

Peter Graham [Hereditary (2018)] x Estra Davis (Female OC)

Warnings: SPOILERS for the movie Hereditary, Disturbing Content regarding demons, possession, Death, Mentioned Deaths, Demonology, Swearing, Injuries, Mentions of blood and gore, Mentions of Mental illness

Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Romance

Estra Davis stares down at her phone screen which displays an incoming call from her ‘business partner’, Damian Louis who she hasn’t heard from in weeks and she’s most certainly not in the mood to be hearing from him right now as she awaits entrance into her sister’s room in the psych ward where she’s resided for the past five years following what happened to her and her family all those years ago. Their lives got turned upside down in a flash of misfortune that no one expected nor was able to put an end to. A misfortune so terrible and crippling, it has left Estra and Deres as the only remaining members of the Davis family. Well, their parents aren’t dead, they’re in prison where they’re serving a life sentence. However, their younger brother Brian who was only seven at the time had his life cut short so brutally and cruelly which is what put Deres in the mental state she’s in.

Estra is not holding up the best she’s ever been, but she’s pulling it together as much as she can. She’s holding onto reality, stubbornly building a wall between her and her mind every time her trauma breaks through the previous one. She cannot afford to end up like her older sister.

A nurse offers her a polite smile and a nod as she gestures for Estra to follow her to Deres’ room the door to which is opened to let air inside and allow the disheveled shell of the girl that she used to be hear some voices to remind her she’s alive. It’s a sight that’s so painful to see, Estra has had to hold back the need to puke many times in the past.

The nurse leaves the two alone, reminding the younger girl what button to press in case she finds herself in any danger with her sister before excusing herself with a sympathetic look.

With a sigh, the girl takes a bold step forward, “Hey Deres.”

The older sister who’s been sitting by the window all morning turns her head to give the familiar face a smile, brightening her pale, almost grey features. 

“Had breakfast yet?“ Estra asks, dragging a chair parallel to her sister’s so they can both stare out the window.

“You just missed Brian. He came to visit me.“ She replies quietly, unintentionally avoiding to answer the younger sister’s question. The words stab into the girl’s chest like a dozen knives but she keeps a smile on her face as her sister keeps talking, now pointing out the window, “There he is, he’s waving goodbye to us.“

She knows she won’t be able to see him, she knows she won’t ever see him outside pictures again and yet she still strains her eyes to search the hospital’s yard, praying for her mind to play a trick on her so she can, even for a moment, ‘see’ him again but she doesn’t. Swallowing back her tears, she waves a hand at her ‘brother’, feeling her stomach turn painfully.

“I’ll be right back...“ She smiles at Deres, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder as she nods with a smile.

This is one of those days. One of those days Estra finds especially hard to hold back that need to throw up which is why she quickly runs to the bathroom to rid herself of the toxic feeling in her gut. She coughs her throat clean and washes her hands and mouth, flushing the toilet and spraying some freshener in the air to cover up the smell. She stops before exiting the dimly lit bathroom, turning to the mirror so she can practice a realistic looking smile despite the tears running down her cheeks. Deres doesn’t notice those anyway.

Just as she’s about to go back to her sister, her phone rings. It’s Damian again. Estra’s finger hovers over the red Decline button for a few seconds before deciding she needs the distraction and answers the call.

“You’re not gonna believe this!“ The enthusiastic voice of her fellow demonologist and paranormal investigator radiates energy she’s glad to feel even through the phone.

“Need I remind you of who you’re talking to?“ She asks with a playful scoff, running a hand through her hair, “I’ve seen it all.“

“Well this you haven’t, I promise you.“ Dam continues rambling causing the girl to periodically space out and then return when specific words would intrigue her. Eventually, much to her relief, he decides to do a summary of what he’s said, “So, basically, this mongoose dingus has lost his mind and blames it on some cult or some demon, I don’t even know at this point.“

Estra rolls her eyes in mild disappointment. False alarms like this have been brought up by many individuals or families in the past, 99.9% of the time resulting into nothing but a waste of time for her and Dam. “Give me his name again, I wanna look him up.”

Dam is quick to casually reply, “Um, Peter Graham.“

That was a verbal punch delivered straight to Estra’s gut, knocking the air out of her while simultaneously giving her whiplash. 

That’s a name she doesn’t need to look up or do a research on - everyone in her field and even anyone with any interest in the paranormal has heard of what has happened to the Graham and what’s going on with what’s left of their oldest child - Peter, now twenty-one years old, living in that house all by himself as rumor has it.

Well, Estra’s done with listening to rumors.

“Meet me at the office in fifteen.“ She tells Dam before hanging up and walking out to find her sister now sitting on the bed, “Hey sis, I gotta run.“ She kisses the top of Deres’ head before waving her goodbye and practically running out of the room in chase of the perfect distraction from what has been going on in her personal life all these years.

*  *  *  *  *

“Estra, you’re insane! I’m not just gonna waltz in that house, playing the role of a fucking bait for whatever haunts it!“ Exclaims an exasperated Dam who’s been trying with the overly eager Estra for the past half an hour.

“It’s our chance of a lifetime, Dam! You can’t tell me anybody else has done this because no one has! This will give us so many points for originality and...“ The girl defends her statement, refusing to give up ground to her slightly older companion who uses that age fact against her in every argument. It goes without saying that she doesn’t let it slide.

He cuts her off, “We’re not going, Es! I sure as hell won’t and I’m not letting you go in alone either!“ He huffs in frustration as he sits down in the chair he abandoned twenty minutes ago, “Just look at what happened to your beloved sister!“

“Don’t bring Deres into this, you prick!“ She snaps, slamming the palms of her hands onto the polished surface of Dam’s desk, “Her and I are not the same! The only thing we share at this point is one last name! That’s not Deres I’ve been going to see twice a week for five years. I don’t recognize that girl!“

“Exactly! I don’t want that to happen to you too!“ Dam lashes out, mirroring her levels of hostility.

“It won’t!“ She digs her nails into the wood or at least attempts to, giving up when she feels them start cracking under the pressure, “We were both driven insane, Damian, but in completely different ways! The trauma crippled her but it’s made me stronger! I’m more volatile, hostile, more willing to put everything in jeopardy to protect the people I care for! I’m no longer afraid, Dam, no longer afraid of anything...“ She trails off for a second, her gaze falling on a picture of Peter on one of the files Dam has compiled. He looks so harmless to her, especially in comparison to the possessed mountain of a man that she escaped when she was only seventeen. She also happens to be a year older than him, giving her a sense of protectiveness over him almost like she had over Brian.

And look how well you protected him

The thoughts shake her to her core, causing her to ground herself back to reality where she’s still sitting in front of a very worried and practically terrified Dam.

“She was weak, the girl I was. Deres wasn’t but now she is. We’re mirrored versions of each other.“ One last look at the picture of Peter later, she’s met Dam’s eyes with an intense glare that’s more meant for her past self than for him, “He needs his story to be heard.“

*  *  *  *  * 

The drive up to the Graham abode was unnerving. Estra is not one to change her mind when she build herself a goal but she was very willing to tell the Uber to turn the fuck around and take her back with each mile they got closer to the monstrosity of a house.

Hearing the car’s engine revving further and further away from her, leaving her alone in the eerie place doesn’t help close up the pit that has opened in her stomach and so she periodically remains locked in place, feet almost feeling like they’ve dug into the ground and planted her there like a tree. Except she’s able to move, just doesn’t want to. Does she now believe this was a bad idea? No. Is she terrified of going in there though? Hell fucking yes.

But she’s already paid the Uber and already let him go so...might as well get her money’s worth.

With a deep inhale she takes large, faux confident steps towards the house. Just then, her phone rings, causing her to let out a scream she’s not particularly proud of. Unsurprisingly, it’s Damian.

“God fucking damn you, Dam! You’re becoming scarier than the actual experience!“ She complains, covering up her panting with a disapproving shout.

“I’m sorry!“ He doesn’t sound sorry, “I just wanted to let you know I’ve put a tape recorder in your bag along with some holy water and sage. The recorder will be on constantly and if you don’t get any ideas, Graham won’t have to know about it.“ He says, sounding awfully proud which probably wouldn’t have been the case if he could see Estra’s face right now, “No need to thank me. Just consider it a debt you’ll have to pay off eventually.“

Her face falls instantly, cheeks flushing with a crimson shade of pure anger, “Thank you? Repay you? You know what, I might as well pull it out and crush it right here on the pavement! What the fuck were you thinking?! I’m not some journalist trying to make a story to tell the press about this guy! This man needs help!”

“Estra, we are journalists of the supernatural! Get your head in the fucking game! There’s no compassion here! You say a few words, make yourself a couple of bucks and get the fuck out! What don’t you-“

Dam never gets to finish his sentence because Estra is quick to hang up only seconds before the front door before her opens to reveal a disheveled man with messy black hair and scars on the bridge and around his nose. His dead eyes look into hers, reminding her of the ones she saw every time she looked in the mirror until recently.

Before she could get a word out, the man who is definitely no other than Peter Graham, puts his hand on the door handle, ready to close it once more, “I have nothing to tell you.“

The girl is quick to disagree though, shoving her boot-clad foot between the door and its frame, “I think you do.”

“No, I don’t! I don’t wanna see my family tragedy in the morning newspaper tomorrow.“ He argues, putting all his little strength into shutting that door which would probably hurt like a bitch had the boot not been as solid as it is, taking the painful friction and not allowing it to reach her foot.

“I’m not a journalist!“ She retorts, refusing to move. “No one will know your story, I swear!“

Giving up his futile attempts, he lets go, stepping back to open the door a bit more, “Ok then what are you?”

Sighing in relief but still not moving her foot, Estra replies, “First of all, I’m Estra Davis.“ She extends a hand to him, one he luckily takes, “A paranormal investigator. Demonologist, if you will.“

Although he looks a little stunned, he too seems relieved, “Peter Graham, but I bet you already knew that.”

“Yeah, I did.“ She offers him a smile which, much to her surprise, he returns, “So...can I come in?“

This causes his eyes to widen, “You want to come in?”

She’s quick to explain herself, afraid she might lose his trust, “I mean, if it makes you uncomfortable we can stand outside and talk...”

“No...“ He too feels the need to justify himself, “It’s just that most people who know...wouldn’t really want to go inside. I know I wouldn’t.“

Estra experiences the hit of the second wave of relief in the past ten minutes, “No, not all. If I were a scaredy cat like that I wouldn’t be here.”

"In that case...." The guy sighs, "...come in, I guess."

Over the countless hours Estra and Damien spent researching this case, they came across many pictures of the interior of the Graham home. It would’ve easily been perceived as beautiful, but knowing what they know made it hard to see it as anything but eerie. However, now that one half of the duo finds herself inside the house, she understands how little justice those pictures did it. And the word eerie doesn’t even begin to describe the atmosphere. 

“Listen, um....I guess you believe this stuff if you’re here...but still I want you to know that every time it seems like I lose control, I actually do. It’s not up to me to choose when it takes over so....be prepared.“ Peter explains truthfully, though it hurts him to admit it out loud. Estra is one of the only people he’s had contact with since the possession and he hasn’t had anyone to talk to about it until now. He really doesn’t want to scare her away, though it seems to him it would take a lot more than that to chase her out of the house.

That’s further proven when she shrugs in response to his heartfelt statement, “I believe you, Peter, I really do, but I can handle myself, don’t worry.” She awkwardly grind her heel into the wooden floor of the foyer as she looks around, barely containing herself from gushing about it all. It really wouldn’t be appropriate. She’d ask to take pictures to show Dam but that’d be inappropriate too, so she just settles for asking: “Can I have a house tour?”

Peter, surprised by the move on her part, reluctantly nods before guiding her into the living room It’s not like he was expecting her to jump straight into the cult questions but he also wouldn’t have been taken aback if that were the case. Luckily for him, it’s not. He finds an odd sense of genuineness in her demeanor and he’s unsure of whether it’s a real feeling or just his wishful thinking, but he’s still glad to be in her company. Or at least halfway so.

“You get a lot of natural sunlight in here.“ The girl comments as she wanders around the place, careful not to touch anything. That’s the first rule when entering a supposedly haunted house - do NOT touch anything. She approaches the window, looking outside, admiring the view the room has. It’s such a shame - even if this house was on the market now, knowing its history, she wouldn’t buy it. Not that she has the money for it anyway, “Oh, these plants are adorable.“

Much to her astonishment, Peter laughs behind her. Worried that it might not actually be him who let out the chuckle, she whirls her head around to see now change in his appearance or behavior. He’s simply leaning against a chair, looking at her like she’s an interesting specimen he hasn’t seen in a while. Which, to be fair, is probably the reality.

“You’re probably the only person who can find anything adorable about this house.“ He says as an explanation to his reaction, which in turn causes her to giggle as she steps away from the plants.

“Us demonologists are always surrounded with negative energy. We need to battle it any way we can - and that includes finding joy in little things and admiring their beauty.“ Estra explains as the two roam the lower level of the house after which he guides her up the stairs.

Halfway up the staircase, however, he stops in front of her. She can’t see his face but the tightening of his grip on the banister tells her enough for her to reach for the pocket knife she’s armed herself with.

Luckily, she doesn’t get around to using it, since Peter relaxes and continues his way up the stairs, continuing their conversation as if nothing happened, leading her to wonder if he even noticed he tapped out for a second there.

“So you’re like an actual demonologist?“ He nudges her, a question that’d usually annoy her but it now makes her laugh.

“I consider myself a VIP in the paranormal investigation industry, so yes, I am an actual demonologist.“ She replies, putting extra emphasis on ‘actual’ like he did when phrasing his question.

Peter chuckles, “Aren’t I lucky to have such a professional at my service.”

“You definitely are lucky to have been caught by our radar.“ Estra tells him as the two walk down the corridor, underneath the spot on the ceiling where the infamous door that leads to that God forsaken attic of terror should be. At this moment, it’s probably just a regular attic and so is that tree house the girl just caught a glimpse of through the window they passed by, but the memories in them still make them a horrifying place to be.

Peter shows Estra to the bedrooms, something she sees as a surprise considering he would’ve only felt comfortable showing her his since, well, you know, the other two belong to people who are no longer alive.

“Ok, I’m gonna address the elephant in the room: First of all, I’d take you to the attic but I had it sealed, which I’m sure you guessed by now?“ He pauses for a brief moment, looking to his left and out the window through which Estra earlier saw the tree house. He too spots it, his heart dropping like he’s seeing it for the first time in his life, like it just randomly appeared on his property. “Second....would you even want to have a look at the treehouse with all the shit you know?

Once again playing the ‘unbothered’ card, Estra shrugs her shoulders to distract herself from the churning of her stomach, “If you’re ok taking me there, I’m ok seeing it.”

That was the bittersweet answer Peter didn’t even know he had been hoping for this entire time. He’s glad he can finally open up about the mess that his life has been turned into, but he’s also afraid of reliving it through the telling of the tale. Because that’s what it seems like to everyone else: a scary story to tell in the dark. Luckily for him though, to her, it seems as much of a reality as it is to him.

He nods solemnly, tilting his head to tell her to follow suit which she does without any hesitation. As the two begin their descent down the staircase, Peter can no longer stand the silence so he decides to break it, “What got you into this stuff, anyway?”

Now that is a question she hates even more than the one questioning her authenticity in the field. It’s a very basic question that people with her job often get asked. But to her, the story of what drew her to this spiritual, supernatural crap is not an easy one to tell.

“A family tragedy too, I’m afraid.“ She hides her pain with a humorless chuckle, “The pastor that came to cleanse our house of the demon that was roaming it turned out to be a Satan worshipper. You know, just a casual, every-day Satanist, because of course that’s normal. Long story short: my dad got possessed and he killed my little brother; I killed that fucking bastard of a reverend and my mom took the fall. Her and dad are in jail and my older sister who witnessed it all is now in a mental institution.“ Having said all that in less than two breaths, Estra rightfully stops to take a breather before delivering the closing line right as they make it to the tree house, “I just wanna prevent that shit from happening to anyone else....I’m sorry I didn’t make it to your family on time.“

“Don’t apologize. They...we were beyond any help.“ He sighs as they climb up in the small treehouse, the floor of which they still find littered with some of Charlie’s belongings.

The two sit on the opposite ledges of the small opening to the latter, unable to take their eyes off one another, although Peter has a hard time maintaining eye contact with the girl which is why she averts his gaze when he hears her inhale sharply, suggesting she has something to say.

“But you aren’t Peter. You can still be helped.“

Estra too now turns her head away from him, choosing to pay more attention on her surroundings in this small but still not at all cramped space. It’s cozy, the perfect place for a child to envision as their castle. She’s sure Brian would have loved it. She had always promised him a tree house but they never got around to building one. They were, however, champions at building pillow and blanket forts which Brian was equally satisfied with.

Now she really regrets not shoving that tree house into her schedule. Now she’ll never have a chance.

Just then, a rough grip on her arm startles her out of her thoughts. Her head snaps back to Peter and she nearly jumps out of her skin at the sight of his blank face and darkened eyes.

That ain’t Peter.

“Is that so?“ The voice still is his but with a menacing tone she sure this frail boy could never muster, “You think he isn’t beyond help? Want me to prove you wrong?“

Estra’s frozen, watching in horror as the possessed boy in front of her smiles terrifyingly at her, the bruising grip not allowing her to have a chance at an escape. But then, a tear rolls down the boy’s cheek, some emotion returning to his eyes.

“Run.” He fights with the force he feels for the first time, a feeling so overwhelmingly painful but also comforting. It makes him feel as though he at least now isn’t a helpless victim. He can fight back, just like he’s doing right now. For her. “Go!!”

In the time Peter’s soul takes charge of his body again before Paimon could take the wheel, he let go of Estra’s arm. 

The girl, although reluctantly, still begins her climb down but doesn’t make it even close to the end before simply jumping down and taking off running.

And running and running until she stops for a moment to throw up and realize she hasn’t only run miles away from the Graham estate, but from anything she could possibly use as a landmark to orient herself.

Ruffling through her bag in search of her phone, she finds the voice recorder instead. She stops the recording and grabs her phone to order herself an Uber which thankfully is able to locate her. She finds a log that in this case she sees as a perfectly fitting chair and takes a seat, hesitantly looking at the voice recorder before pressing the play button to hear what it’s captured.

It’s all old news to her - nothing unusual, no paranormal entities speaking into the thing, no sounds she doesn’t remember hearing. Nothing. A waste of time and effort on Damien’s expense.

Until the incident in the tree house occurs.

Their casual conversation as well as her words of sympathy and comfort for Peter are captured without a hitch but when Paimon took the stage, nothing was heard. No voice, no sounds of nature, nothing. Just like what happened to the audio on the way up the stairs to the second floor of the house when she saw the boy switch back and forth right in front of her.

Estra might’ve been exaggerating when she called herself a VIP and when she referred to her sister as weak because of how she dealt, or rather didn’t deal with the situation; regardless, she knows she’s not insane. She knows she didn’t just imagine that. And if the bruise on her arm is anything to go by, she’s completely correct.

She puts the phone up to her ear, listening to it ring a few times before the call is picked up, “Hey Es.” 

“Hey Dam sorry to wake you up at this hour but...“

“Wake me up? At what hour, 3 PM?“ Damien asks, hiding his worry and fear behind faux amusement, “Is everything ok, Estra? You need me to come get you?“

That’s when she realizes, it’s not night. It never was. She just failed to notice that the five minutes she was up in the tree house changed the entire time of day - she entered it during the early afternoon and exited it in the dark of some time past midnight. Except, that’s not what happened. She entered and exited it in a matter of five minutes. Why she saw a dark night and why she didn’t question it is what now sends a tear rolling down her own cheek.

“What’d he do to me?“

[megsironthrone]

Meg's Game of Tales: Tale 15

*Familiar Characters are NEVER mine! The original story of "Rapunzel" was written by The Brothers Grimm.*

Warnings: Rapunzel AU, angst-ish, a little fluff

Pairings: Prince!Jaime Lannister x fem!reader

This hunt was not going as planned. Not at all. Not only had Jaime not caught anything, but he'd gotten hurt in the process. It just wasn't a good day. The only thing Jaime was looking forward to now was getting home, getting clean, and collapsing in bed. That was the thought that kept him pressing forward. But then? He heard it. A voice calling out.

"Y/N! Y/N! Let down your hair!" Jaime followed the sound of the voice and came upon a tower. At the bottom of a tower was an older looking woman, but that wasn't what caught Jaime's attention. it was what the old woman was climbing. It wasn't a ladder or a rope. No. It was…hair?! Jaime's gaze followed the hair up and, as expected it was attached to the head of a woman. A beautiful woman. Well, from what he could see from a distance anyway.

How had Jaime not seen this tower before? He hunted in these woods all the time. Jaime watched until the two figures disappeared from view. Jaime had always been the curious sort of man, so the need to know more welled up in his chest and it took everything in him to stay away from the tower. If the younger woman was trapped up there, it wasn't safe for him to approach while the older woman was there. So, he left, determined to come back the next day when hopefully, the younger woman would be alone and safe.

The next day, Jaime was out early, heading toward the tower. He got there quickly, hiding in the bushes until the older woman was gone. As soon as she was out of sight, Jaime ran up and called out the same phrase he'd heard her call out the day before. "Y/N! Y/N! Let down your hair!" It took a moment, but soon the voluminous length of hair came cascading out of the window of the tower.

Wasting no time, Jaime began to climb. His arms and legs burned with the effort, but his curiosity was piqued and he couldn't go back now. He had to meet the woman at the top of the tower. Who was she? Why was she there? Would she ever want to leave? Was the old woman kind to her? All these questions fueled Jaime's climb until he finally made it to the top and swung into the window.

"W-Who are you?" Jaime glanced up to see a pair of beautiful eyes staring back at him in fear and wonder. You were more beautiful up close. "I think the better question is who are you and why are you in this tower?" You arched a brow. "That's two questions. And you're the one who climbed into MY home. Now, who are you?" Jaime held his hands up in gesture of surrender.

"Jaime. My name is Jaime. I-I saw your tower yesterday and heard the old woman call out to you. I had to know more." You let out a scoff and shook your head. "Mother says the outside world is cruel and vicious. The tower keeps me safe" Jaime nodded. "She's right about that. But I mean you no harm. I swear." You regarded him with distrust. "I don't think I believe you." Jaime chuckled. You were smart. "Perhaps I could sit with you a while? We can talk and maybe then you'll trust me." After a moment of thought, you nodded slowly in agreement.

*time skip*

"Y/N! Let down your hair!" Jaime called out. He'd been coming to see you every day for weeks now. At one point, he'd nearly been caught by your mother. That day you'd been frightened and told him to stay away. He hadn't of course, but you were slowly growing to trust him. It was his favorite part of the day, getting to see you.

Despite being locked up in a door less tower your entire life, you were very intelligent. You could sniff out a lie like a bloodhound. Jaime couldn't hide the fact that he was a prince from you for very long. You were also very sweet, but had a temper that Jaime admired. You rarely showed it, but when you did, you could scare the most fierce creatures. The only thing that bothered Jaime, truly bothered him really, was that you seemed content to never leave your tower. You wanted adventure, but you didn't want to leave your mother.

As Jaime climbed your hair once more, he went through his argument in his head. He was going to try and get you to talk to your mother about leaving the tower for good. It couldn't be healthy being locked away all the time, could it? Jaime didn't expect what was going to happen.

"Hello, Y/N!" Jaime greeted as he climbed in the window. He looked up only to be met with the face of your mother. She looked livid. "Who are you?! How did you find this place?! Did he send you?!" Jaime glanced at you in confusion. "He? Who are you speaking of?" Your mother relaxed a little, but only a little.

"Does anyone know you're here?" she asked and Jaime shook his head. She smiled. "Good. Then no one will know what I'm going to do to you." A crack of lightening sounded over heard, causing Jaime's brows to furrow. It had been sunny when he climbed in a moment before. He glanced out the window to see rows and rows of thorns springing up from the ground.

"MOTHER NO!" you cried. Jaime spun around to see that your mother was about to push him from the window. "Please, Mother, don't! Jaime is my friend. I-I think I love him." Your mother whirled around and Jaime's eyes widened. "Do you even know him?" You nodded sheepishly. "He's been coming every day for many weeks now. I'm sorry I did not tell you. I didn't want to lose him. Or you."

Your mother approached you. "Y/N, darling, how can you trust him? I've told the outside world is a horrible place. I'm the only one who can protect you." Jaime's brows came together as he processed what was being said. "Protect her from what? Surely there can't be an actual threat on the life of someone so kind and lovable. Can there?" Your mother let out a sigh.

"I suppose there's no harm in telling you now. I'm not your real mother, Y/N. Your real mother charged me with caring and protecting you when you were only a child. I was to keep you safe until she reached out to me. But then she died and the threat to you grew worse."

"I ask again, threat from what?" Jaime asked. He wasn't one to draw out stories longer than necessary. That was more Tyrion's expertise. The woman rolled her eyes, but continued on, "The threat from Lord Gregor Clegane," she stated before turning back to you, "Your brother."

"M-My brother?" She nodded. "I know Gregor. He's a monster," Jaime stated, "Your mother was right to send you away. I'd forgotten there was a third sibling. After Gregor held Sandor's face over the fire, the third child was said to have disappeared. Some said she was murdered by Gregor for trying to tell people the truth about what happened instead of the story the late Lord Clegane told."

You looked between Jaime and the woman you knew as your mother in disbelief. "I'm a lady? Like…a trueborn lady?" They both nodded. "That's why I've kept you here. For your own good." You nodded, but Jaime wasn't having it anymore. You had said you thought you loved him. He wasn't sure anything would come of that love if you were stuck in the tower for the rest of your life or Gregor's.

"She doesn't have to stay in the tower. It's true Gregor is still alive, but I doubt he would recognize either of you. And even if he did, you would be safe. Your brother Sandor is still alive as well. He lives in the castle as part of the guard. You would be protected and safe anywhere you went. I swear it."

Your mother immediately began to protest while your eyes were glued to Jaime's again. For a moment, the two of you stared at each other while your mother droned on in the background. After a bit, you spoke again. "No, Mother. I won't stay here," you said, turning to her and taking her hands in yours, "I love you. Very much. I know you want to protect me, but I need to be out of this tower to discover this new part of who I am and if Jaime says he can keep me safe, I trust him. He hasn't broke a promise to me yet. Please, Mother. Let's leave this place together."

The older woman turned to Jaime and in a stern voice asked, "Can you keep your promise? Will you keep her safe?" Jaime nodded without hesitation. While he wasn't sure if he loved you romantically, he did have a love for you. He always protected those he loved. She stared into his eyes the same way you always did when you were trying to figure out if he was lying or not.

"Very well. You have my blessing. I will return to my former cottage, but you two will go to the castle and enjoy life together. If you ever have need of me, you will know where to find me." With that, she placed a kiss to your forehead and nodded to Jaime. She waved her hand to cause the thorns to disappear.

Using your hair, she left the tower to return to her cottage. Jaime followed her down and waited for you at the bottom. You gripped tight to the hair that was going to be your way to freedom. Taking a deep breath, you began lowering yourself from the tower for the first and only time, ready to start a new adventure.

(a/n: That's our 15th tale! Only 3 more to go, plus 2nd parts for "A Hound-Shaped Helm" and "Three Days".)

[theliterarywolf]

Hi um, two things. About turning red, I can honestly say I related a lot with Mei regarding her mom’s way of doing things, due to personal issues my mom became incredibly paranoid about other kids and the like and refused to let me even do extracurriculars for fear of “Gang Violence”. So there’s that too. As for Belle.. why did people even have issue with the spoiler’s bit?

There is the conversation to be had where a lot of us, as we grow older, can see some of our parents' more polarizing choices being a result of things that happened to them in their past.

The key thing is one: the extent of what they did because, at the end of the day, Cool Motive; Still Murder, and two: if they ever try to make amends for their mistakes and the effect they had on their kids.

For example: I can understand that a good chunk of my mother's homophobia stems from her going to a boarding school where the nuns were grooming students and how her classmates were constantly trying to assault her... But she's old enough to realize that not every LGBTA person is out to get her or is 'living in sin'.

In regards to the issues I've heard some people having with Belle's ending (Let's do a Read More for spoilers' sake):

So, as those of us who have seen the movie know, we eventually find out that The Beast (or The Dragon) who has been causing chaos and violence throughout U is a young teen boy who has been using his avatar to play the role of a hero for his autistic younger brother, as well as lashing out his anger and frustration due to both of them being constantly verbally and physically abused by their father.

Of course, once Suzu finds this out and tries to message them to try and find a way out of their situation, the older brother, understandably, calls Suzu out with the whole 'Oh, you want to help us? Do you know how many people say that they want to help us? How many people go on about 'oh, you poor things', 'someone should do something', 'let me call CPS', 'just hang in there a bit longer', 'it'll all work out'? You want to help us?! Do you know how many times I've heard that just for nothing to be done outside of those worthless sentiments?!'

Which... is actually a very good point because how often do you see/hear people in places of having/safety look at people who are suffering/in danger and go 'Oh, I wish I could do something'/'Just hang in there, things will work out'? Particularly on the internet.

Apparently... Some people don't like how, despite the older brother's frustration and lack of faith in anyone helping not being pushed aside, Suzu still rallied to let the brothers know she was serious about helping them, went through several venues to do as such, and eventually just went to help them on her own.

I saw some people pointing to how Suzu shielded the boys with her own body when the father saw them trying to escape, with him physically assaulting her until she turned around and looked him dead in the eye which resulted in him running away, as particularly insulting because of 'oh, are you really going to tell people that all it takes for an abuser to stop is a stern look? Thanks for that'

However, not to belittle anyone's real-life experiences, but we have to understand that Mamoru Hasoda has a very idealized notion of how the internet is something beautiful that can be used to effect people's lives all over the world in a positive way. We saw this in Digimon: Our War Game, we saw this in Summer Wars, and of course we see it in Belle.

Obviously we, as real human people, know that the internet is a cesspit that people use for porn and being vindictive to each other. However, Suzu using the internet to not only save the boys but also herself, using the strength and confidence that being Belle gave her as well as being able to finally understand why her mother sacrificed her own life to save that child from drowning isn't supposed to be 'alright, go confront an abusive parent and save a battered child' but more 'if every single person on the internet came together for something positive, no matter the size, think about what changes could be made. Isn't that amazing?'

[nightshade-minho]

-The One-

Warnings: very very mild knifeplay, unprotected sex, oral (m. receiving), fingering, creampie, light navel play, tiny mention of blood, rituals, themes of witchcraft + demons, jealousy, sir kink, master kink, threesome, aftercare.

Felix × fem!Reader × Minho

Wc: 3k

Note: I stayed up all night writing this and was half-asleep so I apologize for any mistakes or incoherencies. Regardless, I’m quite proud of this fic hehe, and I’d love some feedback on it~

You could barely breathe. The feeling of his cock stretching you out as you sat on his lap, combined with the heady feeling of the knife's tip pressed against your skin was driving you insane with arousal.

"Such a pretty one you are...we don't usually get customers like you."

You scrunched your eyes shut, not wanting to make eye contact with him. His smirk, his golden eyes that gleamed with confidence...it would all make you even more nervous than you already were.

"Sir...p-please don't hurt me."

"Tsk. I won't, princess. Not yet." He shifted you on his lap, causing his tip to rub up against your sweet spot. You let out a soft moan as he did so, your eyes slowly opening and drifting down to the shiny steel pressed against your torso.

"Will it...will it hurt?"

He gently dragged the knife upwards, eyes fixed on you. He wasn't applying any pressure, and the blade itself wasn't very sharp...but it still sent tingles through you.

"Not really. If you're a good girl for us, it won't. The ritual is a very short one, and doesn't have many side effects."

"Okay...wait, us?"

"Hmm? Oh, yeah. My boss. He'll be here soon, don't worry. He's a busy man. I take care of the shop when he's not here."

"Oh...so you're like, his assistant?"

"Mmhm. You could say that. He doesn't pay me, though." He mutters, expression faltering for a second. The smirk slowly returned though, as he dragged the steel gently up between your breasts, pausing.

"Why...w-why do you work here, then?"

"He's family. My older brother,to be exact."

"O-oh..."

"Yup. In fact, enjoy my leniency while you can. I can assure you, my brother is a lot more..."

He sighed, poking the tip into your skin lightly, but not enough to draw blood.

"Sadistic."

You gulped as Felix suddenly started thrusting up into you, his hips gaining a newfound vigor. You groaned, throwing your head back as he hit your sweet spot again.

You never thought you'd end up like this...A few weeks ago, you were living your life like any other college student.

When winter break came along, you'd been more than excited to get back to your hometown...the place you'd grew up in. One of the first things you did was visit the woods, searching for the tree house you'd made when you were about 10 years old.

Of course, you hadn't expected to see a cottage where your tree house had formerly been. On hindsight, it probably wasn't a good idea to knock.

You hadn't expected to see a cute boy open the door, either.

Felix, he said his name was.

The cottage wasn't a house after all...it was more of an eccentric little shop, the shelves lined with curious looking bottles and dusty books.

You'd definitely thought the man was cuckoo, especially when he started talking about witchcraft and rituals. He was undeniably hot, though...

One thing led to another and here you were a few days later, having sex with someone you barely knew. That someone also happened to talk an awful lot about demons and witchcraft. God, you were stupid to trust him.

"This ritual...what does it require, again? And there's absolutely no side effects?"

"Nope. All you want is revenge, correct? We can make that happen."

"Having sex with you is part of it, right?"

Felix laughed, taking his knife away and resting it on the table next to him. "Oh, you truly do hurt me. Here I was thinking you were having sex with me cause you wanted to." He adjusted himself in his chair, lifting you off his cock and turning you around.

He slowly eased you back down onto his length, groaning softly under his breath at your tightness.

"Look here. Intercourse with a virgin is stage one of the ritual, and semen also happens to be one of the ingredients." He said, pulling your back against his chest and lifting a finger, causing a dusty old book in the corner of the room to hover over.

You squinted at the page, the words registering itself in your brain.

"Wait...how did you know I'm a virgin?"

"It's glaringly obvious, doll."

You gritted your teeth, biting your lip as Felix let the book drop to the floor, his hands on your waist as he slowly started fucking up into you.

"Remember, you asked for this. You're the one who came here first. You gave me full consent to do this."

"I d-did."

"Mmhmm. Don't forget to tell Minho that. If he's not a corpse somewhere, that is...he usually isn't this late."

A shiver ran through you as Felix suddenly got up with you still on his cock, his fingers digging into your skin as he took you over to the window. He slid apart the heavy purple curtains with one hand.

"Ah...there he is."

You twisted your neck slightly. Eyes misty with arousal, you could barely make out the shadowy figure approaching. Felix's fingers on your chin forced you to face him again, his smile slightly unsettling.

"He's here. I'll remind you again. This was your choice."

"M-my choice..." You gulped as the door opened, the bells tinkling.

There was silence for a few minutes. Felix's form was blocking the figure in the shop. You made a sound of frustration as you craned your neck, trying to catch a glimpse of this mysterious man, despite the fear enveloping your heart.

"Hm. What do we have here? Felix, I've told you before. Don't bring your playthings into the shop."

Felix turned around, taking you to the counter and setting you on the edge of it, still inside you. The new angle finally let you make eye contact with the man.

Oh, fuck. Almost immediately, you wished you hadn't looked at him. Yes, Felix was scary and slightly unnerving...but this man's aura was a whole new shade of intimidating.

You tried your best to break eye contact, but you couldn't. His stare was mesmerizing, and you almost drooled.

A sharp thrust from Felix snapped you out of your haze.

"She isn't a plaything. She's been coming here for the past week...keeping me company. It gets lonely here when you leave on your little trips, you know."

Minho frowned as he set down the mysterious looking packages he'd been holding, leaning on the heavy oak table. His eyes fell on the open book. He lazily regarded the pages, sighing.

Despite his indifferent expression, when he spoke, his tone was menacing.

"Have you been showing this girl the texts? Felix, you know we're not supposed to fraternize with the mortals. I've let you copulate with some of them, but I've told you time and time again...magic and elements of the otherwordly realm are far too complex for their puny brains to comprehend."

Felix sighed, turning slightly to face his brother but not slowing down. He kept thrusting into you, a hand grasping your breast and fingers gliding over your nipple as he spoke.

"That's just it! This human here is different from the others. For one, once she got over her initial shock and surprise, she even started reading the rituals herself and helping me out around the shop! In fact, that's what we're doing right now, enacting the Interfectorem Inimicus Ritual. She has a silly little rival she wants to get rid of."

Minho sighed, his eyes coming up to meet yours again. You looked away meekly, making a small smirk appear on his features.

Cute.

He rarely found mortals attractive...but this one right here might have to be an exception. Besides, if what Felix said was true, she was special. Maybe she wasn't even a mortal after all...

Minho needed to know if that was true. And there was only one way to find out.

He stalked over calmly, tapping Felix's shoulder.

"Give her to me."

"What?!" Felix's look of confusion mirrored yours.

"You heard me." His gaze drifted slowly to you, a finger sneaking out to trace your jawline. You unknowingly leaned into his touch, shivering at the feeling of his cold fingers.

"Hmm now, kitten...why exactly were you snooping about in the sacred texts?" His gaze was stern as he locked your eyes with his.

"I wasn't s-snooping-"

"Did Lixie here give you permission?"

"I, well...no..." You hated the way his intense stare was making you blurt out the truth, cheeks flushed. "I was just curious, that's all. So I read one of the b-books when he wasn't looking."

"Curious." Minho let go of your chin, chuckling. "Haven't you heard? Curiosity killed the cat." His eyes turned darker. "Although when it comes to this kitty, it might just be something else that leads to her demise..."

You swallowed, a fresh wave of arousal shooting through you as Minho smiled, saccharine sweet.

He glared at Felix, making him let go of you reluctantly.

"I'm going to fuck you now, kitten. Would you like that?"

You looked up at him. There was just something about him...his intensity, his demeanor...combined with his sharp beauty...he had you whiny and needy, keening in just seconds.

"Yes, Master, want you...want you so bad!" You mewled, just as Felix pulled out of you.

"Good girl."

In seconds, he gathered you in his arms, taking you over to the burgundy sofa in the corner of the room. "Now, let's do this ritual the right way, shall we? Felix, light some candles."

"Listen, brother, I really don't think this is a good idea and-"

"Do as I say."

Felix sighed, nodding as he went to gather some candles from the shelf. As he lit each one, his heart shuddered.

The two of them knew something you didn't.

Felix and Minho shared a demonic father, but had different mothers. Felix's mother happened to be human, while Minho's definitely wasn't. It was why Felix was able to have intercourse with humans without rendering them completely insane.

Minho, on the other hand...didn't possess even an ounce of humanity. He was draconian, otherworldly...

Felix glanced back, sadness taking over his features as he watched you, entranced as you stared at him.

He was worried you wouldn't last the night.

Minho leaned down, inhaling. He loved the way the human interacted to his touches, however featherlight they may be. He ran the tip of his fingers over your chin, down between your breasts. His fingers continued their descent until they reached your navel, his lust growing as he dipped his finger in, prompting a soft whimper from you. He fingered your navel gently for a few seconds, before he went even lower...finally reaching your clit.

If you were indeed human, you wouldn't be able to handle him or his cock. If you weren't, though?

The implications of it drove Minho giddy with excitement. He'd never had the pleasure of playing with someone as responsive and adorable as you were. Maybe you could even be his queen when he ascends his father's throne...

He shook his head, snapping himself out of his thoughts. First, he had to make sure of your origins. Then, he'd let himself daydream.

His fingers slowly pushed into your already dripping pussy, an appreciative groan leaving his lips as your soaking walls hugged his digits tightly.

Felix finished with the candles, his own erection growing impossibly harder as the lewd noises your pussy was making filled the room.

He turned, making his way to the sofa and glaring at his brother. He already harbored quite a bit of resentment for the older man, and this only served to deepen his hatred. Why did he have to steal away everything that was his?

Minho pulled his fingers out with a pop, sucking on his digits as he looked over at Felix. Your eyes opened halfway, registering Minho's naked form with some surprise. When did he remove his clothes? Then again, you knew the two men in the room didn't obey the same worldly rules you did.

Minho's eyes drifted down to Felix's erection, tutting under his breath.

"You know what...you can use her mouth, if you like."

Felix grumbled. It was better than nothing, but then again...He didn't want his brother to fuck you at all. Till now, you'd proven to be different from the usual human...most mortals couldn't even see their shop. However, he still felt that slight unease that came with not wanting to see you hurt. He'd only known you for a week but...deep inside, he didn't want to lose you.

Felix led his cock to your lips, eyes searching your lidded ones for discomfort. When he found none, he slid his length past your throat slowly, making you moan.

Minho's thick tip was rubbing at your folds. You could only feel the sensation of his head dragging up and down your slit...but it was more than enough for you to realize that he was bigger than everyone you'd ever had sex with.

When he finally pushed into you, you saw stars in your eyes. The pleasure was overwhelming...so sudden and potent that you screamed, Felix's eyes widening in concern as he pulled out.

"Are you okay?

"Y-yeah! For fuck's sake, it feels so gooooooood-" You choked out, clenching tightly around Minho's huge cock, his thrusts unlike anything you'd ever experienced before. It was almost satanic, the way he plunged into you repeatedly, stretching you out to your absolute limit.

Minho gritted his teeth as he gripped your waist tightly, his head thrown back in pleasure. "Fuck...ironic, but your pussy is heavenly, kitten..."

He moved you up and down his shaft, the feeling of your soft pussy opening up more and more with each stroke driving him crazed with lust. He'd never felt anything like this before.

"Felix, she's so fucking- shit....she's so fucking perfect-"

Felix frowned, sitting back as he watched. He couldn't help the envy from gripping his heart as he watched your pleasure-stricken face, your eyes rolling back in your head as Minho slid his girth deeper, hitting your sweet spot. He didn't want to stay any longer, but he couldn't help it. He really didn't want to leave you alone with his brother.

Minho drove into you faster as he felt his orgasm approaching, spurred on by the way you clenched tightly around him, clearly near your end as well.

"Kitten? 'M going to cum...going to fill your little pussy up..."

You whined, arching your back. "Can I cum, Master?"

He shook his head, growling as he rubbed your clit. "You'll cum when I tell you to."

Minho turned to the side as he kept abusing your pussy, his eyes landing on Felix...chuckling at his hand wrapped around his cock.

"Couldn't help yourself, could you?"

Felix let out a moan as he continued jerking himself off, standing up. He didn't care anymore...you looked so perfect like this, completely naked and at their mercy, mouth wide open and ready for him to use.

He came closer and shoved his cock down your throat roughly, not giving you time to adjust as he started fucking into you, his high close. You choked, caught off guard, but quickly got over it. Determined to be a good girl for them, you hollowed your cheeks and sucked on Felix's cock desperately, even as you tried to stave off your orgasm.

His length twitched in your mouth, and before you knew it, you felt warm cum spurting down your throat. Felix groaned, pulling out slowly.

"Felix, now. Get my blade and the book."

"Wait, what?"

"She's the one. I can tell. Quick. We need to get her blood at the exact time she hits her high, or I won't be able to complete my ritual."

"Wait- no! This is Y/n's ritual, the one for her rival. It's lower magic. The one you want to do...Come on, brother! You have to think before making a decision like this, you can't just make her your bride...we have to get Y/n's permission, too-"

Minho growled, his eyes flashing red as he glared at Felix. "I'm not performing a wedding ritual or anything, brother. I'm simply preserving her essence-"

Felix shook his head. His heart was thudding- he'd figured it out too, just like his brother had. You weren't mortal. You were special...and that meant Minho wanted to find out what exactly you were.

He felt sick as he thought of you getting married to his brother. No. You belonged here on Earth, with your family and your friends-

With him.

Before he could react, Minho's hand had materialized the exact knife he wanted.

Encrusted with rubies and made of demonic steel, the blade was far sharper than the one Felix had been teasing you with before.

Minho let go of your waist to grab your hand, bringing it up to his face. His hips continued their assault, making you whine and whimper.

Half the things they said were making no sense, and you were scared and yet...aroused, at the same time. You didn't know what was going on, but you wanted to listen to the man above you. You wanted to do everything he said, wanted to be his little pet...wanted to be his. Your brain felt like it was slowly getting rid of all rationality, the feeling of his cock making you whine louder.

"Kitten...I'm going to make a tiny little cut, right here on your finger. Is that okay?"

You nodded desperately, and Minho smiled at you in approval.

"Cum."

You finally let go, the pleasure washing over you in a tidal wave as you shook, convulsing with electricity as Minho drove the blade into the tip of your finger just enough to let out a few drops of blood.

Felix reluctantly conjured up an empty potion vial, capturing the drop with ease.

Minho lifted your finger to his mouth, sucking on the digit and running his tongue over the wound repeatedly. The metallic taste of your blood was the final push he needed to cum, thrusting deeper as he spilled himself into you.

When he let go of your finger, all the pain had disappeared. You noticed your finger was healed...the skin just as clean and soft as it was before.

You whined as he pulled out, conjuring another vial to gather some of your mixed fluids that was leaking out from between your thighs. He yawned as he handed it to Felix, who corked it with a frown on his face, setting it next to the vial with your blood in it. He knew what Minho wanted to do...he wanted to perform a ritual with the vials, wanted to make sure you were the one for him. It wasn't a wedding ritual by any means...but it was a pre-requisite, and the thought saddened Felix. Maybe his feelings for you were deeper than he'd thought.

Slowly, Minho gathered you into his arms, patting your hair gently and kissing your forehead.

"You were a good kitten, Y/n. How are you feeling?"

"I'm f-feeling okay..."

Minho made a face of delight at Felix. "She can still talk and formulate sentences!" He mouthed, prompting a half-hearted smile from his brother.

"D'you want to cuddle?"

You pouted. "Mmhmm! But..I want Lix to come cuddle too."

Felix looked up at that, his eyes widening.

You still wanted him?

Minho met his eyes, giving him a small smile. "Sure, baby. Lix can come cuddle as well."

You grinned, looking over at Felix and making grabby hands. Giggling, the boy quickly dropped onto the couch, wrapping his arms around your torso and humming in content.

"You know..I don't mind sharing her." Minho whispered, his fingers still stroking your hair. "Really?" Felix asked, looking down at you.

"If she wants to be shared, that is."

"I don't mind!" You chirped. "Life is boring here, anyway. Where did you guys say you lived again?"

The two men shared a look.

Minho sighed as he stroked your hair. "I can't wait to introduce you to our dad."

"Your dad?"

"Yep! Don't worry, he's nice. And I think he'd like you."

You frowned slowly as you remembered something Felix had told you. Snippets of their conversation flashed through your brain as your stomach filled with something akin to dread and anticipation.

"Who did you say your dad was, again?"

"Oh, what? Ah, that doesn't really matter. He's just the king of the Underworld."

[scarasimplysimping]

These Books Of You

Xingqiu x Adepti Reader

Sypnosis: A boy of noble blood and disciple to the Guhua Clan, Xingqiu has been reading books of the heroic adventures of an elusive adepti, [Y/N] ever since he was a little boy.

Now a bit older, he sets everything aside in a journey to meet you.

(A/N): I planned to put it all in one post but like it wouldn't fit. Part 2 link below.

"How long will you stay with me?"

"Forever."

Liar.

It was midnight. All of liyue was quiet and asleep except for a certain room where you could here the rustling sound of packing made by a young man eager to leave before dusk.

"Are you sure about this?" Chongyun asks, catching his breath after climbing his friend's window.

"Most definitely!" Xingqiu says excitedly as he picks out the books he would be bringing.

Chongyun furrows his eyebrows, "You don't even have a plan!"

"These books are my plan," The dark haired boy says in a wise tone.

"WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!"

Xingqiu chuckles in response.

Chongyun begins to rant again. "Where will you go? Where will you search? What will you eat? What if you get mugged?"

Xingqiu laughs harder, "My friend, I appreciate your concern but I assure you. Nothing you say will change my mind. I will search all of Teyvat if I must."

"What if they don't exist? What if it's all fiction? Mere children's fairytales."

This makes Xingqiu stop in his tracks, contemplating the possibility for a few moments before coming to the conclusion, "They are real. I can feel it."

"And what of your family? Your brother?"

"I've left them a letter."

"What will they do with the letter? Teach it chivalry?" Chongyun says sarcastically.

Xingqiu does not bother to reply.

The exorcist sighs in defeat, "Xingqiu, if you don't come back alive, I will kill you."

"Then perhaps it's best if I don't come completely," He teases.

"Then I shall kill you right now and you won't get to leave at all."

The two friends bicker like this for a while until it is time for one's departure.

"Be careful, Xingqiu," Chongyun bids.

"I will. Make sure my family doesn't do anything rash while I'm gone."

The light haired boy rolls his eyes.

"Dear Chongyun, If in any case I don't come back, know that I've always appreciated your friendship."

And just like that, Xingqiu climbs out the window and disappears into the dark of night.

In the early afternoon, you sat peacefully, having tea with Cloud Retainer and Zhongli atop of Mt. Aozang. The breeze was nice and so was the view.

"It's a shame only we came to this tea party. It's been ages since we've gathered with the adeptus," The geo archon spoke.

"This is not a petty tea party. One has called a meeting to discuss the next move regarding a matter of great importance," Cloud Retainer retorted.

"And what might this matter be?" You ask while slouching on your seat, showing no interest.

"One has come to notice that ever since the incident of Osial's return and defeat, mortal's have come to One's domain asking for favors or offering goods much more times than One is comfortable with. The mortal, Aether has also-"

Cloud Retainer could not finish because the sound of your intentionally loud sigh interrupted her.

"Is the almighty Cloud Retainer scared of mortal affection and admiration?" You tease. Even Zhongli could not help but smile a bit.

Cloud Retainer threw you both a look that.. well you could only assume was a glare since she was in the shape of a bird after all.

The light-hearted argument continues until you here a soft grunting from a distance.

You all pause, listening as the voice becomes louder and louder and then, you see a hand grip the edge of the mountain, then another. A dark blue haired young man lifts himself up and throws himself onto the mountain surface, panting heavily.

"Oh.. Sweet.. sweet ground.," He says. You can almost hear him thank the Archons that he's made it this far.

"And what is your purpose of interrupting an important gathering?" Cloud Retainer's voice boomed.

Xingqiu blinked a bit before remembering why he was here in the first place. Quickly, he got up and bowed, still woozy from all the climbing. "I've been traveling for two days, seeking an adepti. I've heard that there's another adepti who lives here and I respectfully ask guidance in my journey," he says, still in a bowing position.

Zhongli recognizes him, "Xingqiu, are you not a little to far from Liyue Harbor?"

Xingqiu, in turn also recognizes the man but dares not question Zhongli's purpose. His only concern was finding you. "Please don't tell my family, Mister Zhongli."

You decide to entertain the mortal, "Well Xingqiu of Liyue Harbor, which adepti is it that you're looking for?"

Only then does he make eye contact with you, Xingqiu is taken in by your beauty. He stares a little too long before answering, "The heroic (Y/N)! The legendary adepti of great legends! They who saved thousands of lives and vanquished thousands more foes!" He says enthusiastically.

You are dumbfounded, never have you been sought after by a mortal for your heroic deeds. This was new. "And where do these legends come from?" You ask nervously.

"The books I've read! I've read every single one of the books that mention them."

Conveniently, you remember that time, thousands of years ago where you saved a family of writers who thanked you relentlessly and swore they'd write of your heroics.

While you are contemplating, Cloud Retainer speaks, "Look no further, mortal. The one you seek is here," She gestures to you.

You glare at her. "Is the mighty (Y/N) scared of mortal affection and admiration?" She mocks.

Xingqiu stares at you, trying to imprint this moment into his brain. "You... you weren't what I was expecting."

"And what were you expecting exactly?" You ask, offended.

"To be honest, I assumed you looked like a bird or fox! I was not expecting someone human and... beautiful." He says almost absent-mindedly.

Beautiful? As in attractive to a mortal's eyes? How dare he use such methods of flattery.

"How long will you stay with-"

Liar. Liar. Liar.

Zhongli and Cloud Retainer decide it was best for them to leave, they quietly dismiss themselves and leave you alone in this awkward situation.

The young man before you just stares at you with dazzled eyes.

"Now that you've found me, what do you plan?" You finally question.

Xingqiu stops for a moment. He didn't really think this far and didn't expect to find you so soon.

"I want to be your friend," Xingqiu blurts out.

You are again, taken aback by his straight-forwardness.

This was unnecessary. A mortal of such fleeting lifespan. How would this benefit you? This wouldn't benefit him either; you think to yourself. This is nothing but mortal entertainment. You had no interest in entertaining a mortal at your expense.

"I have no need for mortal company," You say firmly, all your nervousness replaced with a cold gaze.

"Please? I've dreamt of meeting you my whole life-"

"And now you have. Go."

"I swear to the Seven Archons I shall serve you well-"

"No!" This time, you raise your voice. "Go home," and with that, you vanish into thin air.

Xingqiu is sad and dejected,  even on verge of tears but he does his best to keep it together. "Very well," He quietly whispers.

Xingqiu, climbing down the mountain is several feet away from the ground when his mind wonders back to you and the harsh rejection. "Well it's not like an adepti to mortal friendship is common anyway. At least I got to meet them," He says, trying to look on the bright side. He assures himself that he will return.

Tears start bluring his vision and he takes a wrong step, causing him to plummet down and make a loud thump sound.

He groans in pain. For the most part, he was unharmed except for his right hand which was twisted in a weird position.

"Drat! Xingqiu, how pathetic can you be? You fall and just had to break your right arm, you're sword hand!" He scolds himself.

The good part of this was that it was nightfall now, if he was lucky, all the hilichurls around the area would be asleep and he could avoid combat.

Unfortunately, fate had other plans as he sees a hydro abyss mage that he could have sworn was not there before. And the abyss mage sees him.

Xingqiu curses and tries to make a run for it, but as he was still limping from the fall, the mage catches up to him and teleports in front of him. Xingqiu stumbles backwards. In a desperate attempt, he shouts your name. But the abyss mage wasn't going to wait for you to show up. The young man suddenly feels himself getting drowned. So was this it? Rejected by a childhood dream, almost fell to his death and was currently being drowned? What a weird day. What a sad way to die. It's almost poetic. Xingqiu was slowly beginning to lose consciousness, coming to terms with this tragic death when he felt the bubble burst, quite literally.

He fell to the ground, the last thing he saw was the vanishing particles of a defeated abyss mage and what appeared to be a silhouette of a person- Xingqiu was saved!... and falling unconscious.

After you rescued him, you hurriedly brought him to Wangshu Inn, blurting out to Verr Goldet that you almost let a mortal die.

You paced back and fourth at the terrace. While the vigilant yaksha, Xiao watches you with annoyance.

"What if he dies?" You ask frantically.

"You dressed his wounds quiet well. He won't die unless someone comes in and murders him," Xiao says as if trying to be comforting.

Xingqiu awakens from his slumber, body still aching. A cast of bandages was made in order to support his broken arm.

The door slowly opens, you walk in with some hot soup and set it on the bedside table. It didn't take him long to realize that you were the one who saved him.

"You're awake," You state the obvious but almost sigh in relief. "Despite the attack, you managed to go almost unscathed.. except for well, your broken arm."

"Thank you... You really are my hero," Xingqiu says, once again beaming at you.

"Don't come back to Mt. Aozang,"

"Wait- what?" His face falls. And all the feelings of being rejected earlier come back.

"If...," You hesitantly start, "If you must see me, then I spend one night a week at the statue of Pervases." This was a lie, of course. But you were willing to do as you said if that meant the mortal, Xingqiu would stop going through such dangerous measures in order to meet you.

As if like a switch, his bright smile returned almost instantly. "My liege, you won't regret this!"

"Drink your soup and meet me at the terrace when you're prepared to return for Liyue Harbor." You don't know why you say what you say next but it felt right, "and call me (Y/N)."

You shut the door behind yourself quickly, leaving Xingqiu alone in the room, euphoric.

"You should not get too close to mortals," Xiao warns once you reach the terrace.

"I will not."

"In the thousand that I've known you, never once have I seen you prepare soup for a mortal.. or immortal."

"That means nothing."

"And I suppose your made up visits to the statue of Pervases mean nothing as well?"

He had a point there."Don't eavesdrop on my conversations, Alatus."

He glares at the sudden mention of the name. "Their lives are fleeting, (Y/N). The peace at the end of their journey is just a thousand years of grief for us if we so choose to befriend them. I just warn you because I care for you," Xiao says before vanishing from your sight.

He was right. You knew that. Of all the adepti, Xiao knew you the most. He was there when the mortal part of you was taken away in exchange for eternal life, after all.

You loved once. But that did not end well.

"How long will you stay with me?"

"Forever."

Liar

Never again.

Shortly after Xiao's departure, Xingqiu arrives with that ever so charming smile.

Charming? Did you just think that? Right after promising yourself to solitude? Oh dear...

"I've prepared! Will we go on foot or will you fly us there? I must warn you I get motion sick-" He stops talking when he notices you taking steps toward him. You put a hand on his shoulder and Xingqiu's mind goes blank. Was this approval? Mutual admiration? Were you friends now?

"Close your eyes," You tell him.

To which he obeys without hesitation. He's read enough romance books to know where this is going. Xingqiu would be lying if he said he wasn't nervous but at the same time he was extremely excited. His train of thought is cut short when he feels a harsh gust of wind blow his way.

"You may open them now."

He does and to his surprise, the both of you are back at Liyue Harbor, specifically the bridge.

"We... teleported?" He asks, embarrassed of his thoughts just moments ago.

You nod. "This is as far as I'll go. Make it back to your residence carefully and get some rest."

"Can't you come with me?"

"No."

"I have a friend who-"

"No."

"We can grab some countryside delicacy-"

"No."

He sighs in defeat, "But I'll see you tomorrow night, right?"

"Perhaps."

Xingqiu, in a moment of elation and not thinking properly, abruptly takes your hand and places a kiss on your knuckles.

Realizing what he had done the dark haired boy glows red as apples and lets go as quick as he took hold of you. "W-well... good-bye then."

The boy leaves you dumbfounded once again.

Part 2

V

[fitzs-trained-monkey]

Chapter Three: If We Have Each Other.

~When the world's not perfect When the world's not kind If we have each other then we'll both be fine. I will be your brother and I'll hold your hand. You should know I'll be there for you. I will always be there for you~

"Dude, we are in some serious jelly," I proclaimed as I paced around the small perimeter of the tree house.

"And that jam!" Isaac added from where he remained sitting at the table.

"Tight spot."

"Indeed!"

"Up a tree!" I supplied.

"Lost in the grass!" He offered. I swung around, shaking my finger at him.

"I'll tell ya what's grass, our- AAH FRACKLES!"  I had stepped on a stray nail in one of the floorboards. Hobbling my way back into my chair, I thunked my head against the table.

"But look at the bright side." Isaac leaned back in his chair. "Seeing as how our grand-theft-hairbrush is going viral and all, there is still a chance that me flipping the camera off could become a meme!" He pointed out. Slowly, I raised my head to stare at him.

"Are you kidding me right now?" I asked, narrowing my eyes.

"Consider it, Marty! All it took was five years being dead and now I'm finally fulfilling my life-long dream! If I'd known it was this easy, I would have killed myself a long time ago and spared me all that drama and emotional damage," Isaac smirked. I shook my head, my gaze drifted back to the Vader figure and snow globe sitting side-by-side on the shelf.

"Please don't talk like that Isaac," I sighed. Isaac's face fell.

"Sorry, I-I wasn't thinking," He apologized. I nodded.

"It's okay." It wasn't, but what more could be said when you didn't want to speak?

"Hey," Isaac spoke softly, ducking his head to get me to look at him, "Even if things go sour, I'm gonna be here for you. Just like I promised. Through thick and thin, remember?"

"Through thick and thin."

Smiling weakly, I repeated our life long mantra. I took a deep breath and focused back in on the problem.

"Alright, man. We gotta figure out a game plan. That video is gonna bring every hunter and their mom up here to ice our, or my, gluteus maximus. And if they know about the minimart then they know about the hospital. So, what's our play?"

"Well, I say you use your Sweet-Talkin' thing and talk any o'those alcoholic weirdos out of it," Isaac suggested. I shook my head.

"Isaac, you know how much I hate doing that."

Although it was a tempting idea, that wasn't something I wanted to mess with. If you start playing with the dark things, the dark things start playing with you. That wasn't a concept I liked, but Isaac would never understand that.

"I'm just saying it’s an option! And an easy one at that," Isaac pushed. I glared at him.

"I'm not doing that."

"It might come to it, Marty. I'm just saying as a plan C it-"

"The answer is no! Moving on." My tone killed and buried the subject. Isaac raised his hands in surrender.

"Fine. But misinformation is still our strongest tool. We should use it. Tell anybody who asks that it was all done on a computer," He conceded.

"Alright, that's plan A. What's plan B?"  Isaac's face twisted in thought. I let him do any and all planning when it came to telling a lie because he was so much better at making it convincing than I was. Isaac was the king of spouting believable bull crap. In fact, he would have made and excellent demon. That guy could probably get an angel to sell its soul for a box of holy doughnuts. When the idea hit Isaac's brain, I could almost see a light bulb light up above his head. He leaned forward, exited.

"Okay, I got it. We make up some BS story about a gay black dude who got chopped up by the ferry or something and the hospital wouldn't help him because all the doctors were racist homophobes, and it was the 50's." He nodded at me very seriously. Like I said, Isaac was king.

"That's is the worst, most ridiculous and stupid story I have ever heard," I told him. Isaac's nodding grew more excited. "It's perfect. They'll buy every word. Just one thing though, what about the mini-mart?" I pointed out.

Isaac opened his mouth before closing it again. Then he opened it. Then he closed it. Open. Closed. Open. Closed. This happened several more times before he finally came up with something good.

"So, our gay black guy was also a nice hobo dude and after he died he started stealing crap to give to his hobo buddies." Isaac gave me a thumbs up. I nodded.

"Okay, sounds good, sounds good. How do we explain me?" I splayed my hands. Isaac huffed and rolled his eyes, leaning back again and tucking his hands behind his head.

"Well, that’s easy. The camera never even caught a glimpse of your face, so you're his anonymous theft buddy slash item distributer!" He explained. I grinned at my fantastic phantasmal co-conspirator.

"Excellent, and of course nobody knows who the thief is. Especially not, innocent little me!" I chuckled at his brilliance.

"Exactly!" Isaac smirked.

"It's perfect! Except one last thing. We're gonna need some eyes and ears in on this. Someone to alert us when someone fishy comes lurking about," I said. Isaac nodded seriously.

"You're right. But who can we trust around here?" He asked. I could feel the smile split across my face.

"I can think of only one man for this job. A man as trustworthy as he is slimy. A man scrubbed clean by his own filth. A man so wonderful, words do him no justice!" I declared dramatically. Isaac was confused for a moment before realization dawned. His face fell.

"Please tell me you're not thinking what I think you're thinking."

"I think I am." I grinned. Isaac just sighed.

"Marty, no."

"Marty, yes!"

- 45 minutes later-

"Yo! Danny, my man! How's life?" I called out. Dan-the-Dope-Man looked up from...whatever it was he was doing outside Copper Harbor's one and only pharmacy. The pharmacy which he, in fact, owned. Honestly, I didn't want to know exactly what he had been doing behind the pile of cardboard boxes that were stacked up against the moldy brick. I figured it was better if I didn't. Dan smiled a grin that was missing two teeth.

"Marty! My worst customer and only friend! Life's good!" He greeted me, kicking a few of the boxes over to hide whatever suspicious activity it was that he had been up to. He winked and walked over to me, pushing his absolutely disgusting blond hair out of his face. "But, you know, business is betta'," He concluded.

I could never tell how tall Dan was, in this form especially. See, Dan-the-Dope-Man was a shapeshifter, though of course, no one else in the town knew that. That's how he was the owner of the pharmacy as well as a drug dealer. His other form, Jonathan De’ Santos, was the tall, 40-year-old, honest-looking Hawaiian man that ran the pharmacy. In this form, however, Dan was a somewhere-in-the-upper-five-foot-range Caucasian guy from Brooklyn with a thing against bathing. He said that the grungy, sewer-rat look was better for his side business. I wasn't sure how much of that I bought, but then again, who's gonna buy drugs from the guy who's supposed to make sure you don't destroy yourself with them.

"I bet it is!" I said, taking a step back when he reached me because, like I said, the guy had a thing against hygiene.

"This is a terrible, terrible idea," Isaac muttered, leaning on the wall to my left. I couldn't reply to him because although Dan knew what I was he didn't know about Isaac. So all I could do was give him a rude gesture behind my back. He saw it and stuck his tongue out at me.

"What can I do fo' ya, Marty?" Dan always pronounced my name as 'Mawty' at least in this form as it had a Brooklyn accent.

"Well, o' Danny boy, I have some rather bad news to deliver," I continued, "There might be some hunters coming to town soon."

Dan frowned; his eyes narrowed at me as he folded his arms over his chest.

"Well, that ain't good. Whatt'id ya do, Marty?" He asked. Sometimes Dan could be like my older brother, even if he didn't realize it.

"Woah, woah, woah! Who said I did anything?!" I defended. Dan just raised an eyebrow.

"You're always showin' off and ya know it," He said simply.

"He's right, you know," Isaac interjected. I wished I could tell him to shut his eidolic cake hole. It wouldn't have made much of a difference if I could, as he would still have continued talking, but the principle remained the same. Isaac was annoying. He needed to shut his mouth now and again. But I couldn't say that right now because he was a flipping ghost and ghosts are invisible. Mostly.

Ignoring Isaac, I opened my mouth to try to argue with Dan but quickly closed it again when found that I couldn't, because he was absolutely right. Now, I couldn’t admit that to him because Isaac was right here and that would be saying that he was right about something, and that was a thing I would never hear the end of.

"In regards," I started again.

"You'd just say 'regardless'," Isaac chimed in. I had to physically bite my tongue to keep from screaming at him to shut up.

"Regardless," I corrected. Isaac chuckled. I really needed to get myself some iron gauntlets or something so I could give his apparitional arse an involuntary appendectomy. Or just an iron ring so I could punch him in the face.

"Regardless, it wasn't me. This time. It was some attention seeking moron with a computer. That combined with my little hospital trips and you get something fishy looking." I finally managed to finish my sentence without Isaac chiming in.

"Well then ya betta' keep ya head down, Marty. I don' wan' ya gettin hurt." A dark look crossed over Dan's usually upbeat face. "Or worse," He finished.

"I know Danny, which is why I need you to do something for me," I said. Isaac sighed and face palmed but I ignored it.

"What?" Dan asked.

"I need you to watch out for any newcomers asking weird questions. I've got a plan if any hunters get too close to us, I just need to know who and where they are," I told him.

See, the pharmacy, the mini-mart, the bar, and the barber shop all sat across from each other at a four way intersection. Thus, Dan would have an excellent view of any hunter's first two targets. The origin of the supernatural activity, in this case the mini-mart, and the bar. He would be the perfect spy. Dan looked at me strangely.

"Say, Marty, you ain't plannin' on gankin' any a' dose' suckas' now are ya?" He asked, caution evident in his voice. I sighed, shaking my head internally. This was just another downside of being what I was. Everybody thinks you're a murderer. Though I knew I was far from innocent, I had never killed anyone. At least, anyone who didn't deserve it.

"Come on, Danny. In all the time you've known me, have I ever, er, ganked anyone?" I asked him, spreading my hands as if to catch the obvious answer.

"Well, no. But people can change," Dan pointed out. I rolled my eyes.

"Dan, I'm not gonna kill anyone. There, ya happy?" I said, only mildly aggravated. Isaac decided it was time to speak up again.

"You may not. But I will. If it comes to that. I won't let anybody hurt you, Marty. Not again. Not when I can do something about it."

I knew he was saying this now so I wouldn't be able to argue with him. Then I would forget and if he did kill someone Isaac would say he'd said he would. I ground my teeth together and reminded myself that it wasn't going to come to that. I wouldn't let it.

Meanwhile, Dan thought about what I'd spoken aloud.

"Yeah okay, but if anybody comes sniffin' I'm skippin', kay?" He agreed. I nodded.

"Okay, take care of yourself, Danny."

"You too, Marty." I smiled at him and began to walk away. Isaac pushed himself off the wall and trudged behind me, complaining loudly.

"Make sure you take care of yourself too, Issac! I'd hate myself if anything happened to you, Isaac! I wouldn't be able to survive without you, Isaac! Thanks Marty, your friendship means everything to me!" He said, sarcasm dripping from his voice. "Ugh! Why do I even bother?"

I smirked giving him the sign for 'I love you' behind my back.

"Aw shut up!"

But I knew he was smiling.

~So, I'm thankful for my sister even though sometimes we fight When high school wasn't easy, she's the reason I survived. I know she'd never leave me and I hate to see her cry. I just wanna tell her that I'm always by her side. I just wanna tell her that...

The worlds not perfect, but it’s not that bad. If we've got each other and that’s all we have I will be your brother and I'll hold your hand You should know I'll be there for you When the world's not perfect When the world's not kind If we have each other then we'll both be fine I will be your brother and I'll hold your hand You should know I'll be there for you.

I will always be there for you.~

Lyrics from: If We Have Each Other by Alec Benjamin

[one-abuse-survivor]

hey so, my mom used to hit me a lot when i was a kid. Said I only behaved as a good girl when I was beaten up (of course i did, i was scared for my life all the time). Anyway, she stopped doing it as I got older and bigger but everytime we fight she stills threatens me and says she should've hit me more when she had the chance. I always tell her to do it now if she's so brave but she never does for some reason (i think she's also scared.) She started threatening my little brother as soon as he got old enough to understand words. He never got hit, just threatened a lot. He's terrified of her and his dad (my stepdad), he hates shouting and flipflops. I've confronted my mom too many times about it, she always says the same thing, that its the only way for us to behave and then she victimizes herself saying that I'm always judging her and "oh im always wrong the worst mother on earth for raising my kids" and "your grandma did the same to me and im alive" and im like???? what do you mean "you're alive" were you supposed to be dead then??? miss ma'am thats not okay! my grandma abused you! and you're abusing your kids! but she just never listens, at least while I'm here i can protect me and my brother. But I'm really afraid that after I move out she's going to start beating him. This kind of thing just makes me think like... some people really shouldn't have kids.

i sent an ask a while ago about being afraid my mom would start beating up my brother as soon as I left the house... well, its worse. She started while I'm still here and I couldn't protect him. I heard yelling and she pushed him to the bedroom and I couldn't do anything. All I was able to do was close my eyes and cover my ears, I was shaking and crying but I couldn't move, I literally froze in place. She always does this thing where she beats us and then comforts us after, saying it only happened because we "deserved it". She washes our crying faces and gives us water and hugs, almost like she's rescuing us from herself. Idk why she does it but it used to give me a lot of conflicted feelings when I was younger and its probably giving my brother the same. I wish she would just stop being fake and leave already, just never be in our lives again. My brother doesn't deserve any of this, he doesn't deserve being neglected and only noticed when its to be called horrible things and beat up for being a child who doesn't know better sometimes. This is fucked up and I feel so guilty and bad because I cant do anything, I just want to get us both out of here

Nonnie, I am so, so sorry. What you and your brother are going through sounds extremely traumatic, and something no one should ever have to go through. You’re absolutely right when you say your grandma abused your mom and she’s doing the same thing to you and your brother. I’m proud of you for recognising what she does as abuse, and seeing right through her victim-blaming and guilt-tripping. I really hope you know her telling you she only hit you because you deserved it and because that was the only way you’d behave, and acting like the victim when she feels judged, is really emotionally abusive.

Regarding those conflicting feelings when she cared for you after abusing you, I recommend looking up trauma bonding if you want to, because that’s what can happen when your main source of support is also your abuser. Here’s an article about it if you’re interested.

And regarding your brother, please be kind to yourself. The way you reacted that day sounds like a (completely understandable) trauma response. Freezing is just as normal a response as fighting, fleeing and fawning, and, as the rest of these reactions, it’s a survival instinct and not something you can control. Please remember she’s to blame for your brother’s trauma, not you. You’re not meant to be able to protect him from her. Witnessing abuse as a minor, even when it’s not directed at you, is still abuse, and is still traumatic. You’re also a victim in this situation, and it’s understandable that you reacted as such. Please don’t punish yourself for that.

Neither of you deserve the way she’s treating you, and I really hope you can get out of there sooner rather than later. If there’s any safe adult in your life you can reach out to about this, I encourage you to do it if you can. To protect your brother and to protect yourself, because you both deserve so much better than her abuse and trauma.

Sending all my support your way ❤