#relationship tips

[newrelationshipgoals]

It’s easy to love someone when times are good. Real love is about holding on to one another when times aren’t.

[sk-lumen]

Pearls of wisdom from journaling & therapy

chasing people who ghost you, mistreat you, ignore you, is a trauma response. you're re-enacting a similar dynamic from your childhood in hopes that you can change the outcome and feel "fixed" or "worthy" of good treatment finally

you go for emotionally unavailable partners for one of 2 reasons: either your self esteem is too low and you think you don't deserve a healthy and reciprocal relationship; or you are protecting your heart by intentionally choosing someone you can't truly connect/resonate with, nor have to fully open up or get attached to

we are attracted to partners that in some way recreate the dynamic we had with our primary caregivers. ie. an emotionally unavailable parent can lead people to chase partners with avoidant attachment styles and/or emotionally unavailable

being obsessed or holding on to an ex, a situationship or unrequitted love of some kind is not always because you were "so in love with them". it's not about emotional attachment. it's about the mental attachment: to what they meant to you, how they made you feel, or a (often toxic) belief you associated with them, and by letting them go you feel you will lose some essential part of yourself (or self concept)

there is no wrong or right choice, it's about creating a foundation for yourself where you feel safe and strong enough to handle the consequences of either action. create a strong foundation within yourself, and you will achieve a newfound confidence and boldness in living the life you've always wanted, because you won't be afraid/anxious anymore of every little decision

[femmefatalevibe]

How to stop oversharing?

Slow down: Always pause and think before you speak

Consider anything you share with someone who hasn't earned your complete trust or whom you have a transactional relationship with to be a PSA; Don't trust anything to be confidential with someone you don't fully trust

Reflect on why you overshare in the first place: Do you use it as a tool to soothe social anxiety or pauses in a conversation? Are you lonely or feel like it's a struggle to feel heard/seen/appreciated in your everyday life? Start journaling and/or go to a therapist to work through these very valid emotional wounds

Give yourself a "do's" and "don'ts" list on topics you will and won't discuss at work, different social events, with certain acquaintances, family members, etc., and stick to it

When you feel yourself starting to overshare, take a pause and ask the other person about themselves – it makes you show the other person you're interested in connecting and gives you time to think/reflect on what you should or shouldn't say

Hope this helps xx

[panicismydefaultstate]

A little note for some partners, friends and family of people suffering from a mental or chronic illness- One of the most kind, supportive and loving things you can do is spend the time to educate yourself in better understanding what they are going through. Showing them that you care enough to spend time and energy reading up on how the illness works (and not just relying on stereotypical or general knowledge that can inadvertently be harmful) and different coping strategies/helpful management tips.

[soulinkpoetry]

Life is truly beautiful. Let’s find the simplicity in everything. Simple words, simple solutions, simple goals, simple expectations, simple love.

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[jparksjr]

Would You Like To Know What Turns A Man Off?

I Have A Blog Post That Informs You On What Men Dislikes About Women Below.

[throuplesdating]

For an open relationship to be successful, there should be a high level of self-awareness and emotional maturity. Only then will the people involved in it will be able to navigate their feelings and address them constructively.

[subcoolture]

As a woman you need to learn that a valuable man is the man who is present for you and actually offers you a life. Not the one you think you have a special connection with but who is not real, barely potential, and who will cost you actual years of your life instead of making you enjoy it together.

[iwajidshaikh]

She : Naarazgi rakhne se kya haasil hain wajid?Me : wohi jo durr jaa kar haasil hota hain

She : aur woh kya hain bataaye

Me : wohi jo Naarazgi rakhne se milta hain

Naarazgi ka aakhri raasta phir bhichad jaana hota hain,do log itne khamosh rahte hain ke bhichadh jaate hain

Baad muddat jab baat krte hain, toh woh dono woh nahi rahte jo hote hain,isliye naarazgi waqt rahte khtam karke saath ajaana hi sab hain

"Warna durr jaane pe rona hi haasil hain "

Source: Wajid shaikh,from book sukoon

[randomthinkerposts-blog]

How to love someone with anxiety

Someone with anxiety is inclined to assume everyone is going to leave. So much so, sometimes they might be the ones to ruin a relationship.

Truth is, they battle something they can’t control and there is a sense of insecurity within themselves when it comes to relationships.

First of all, remember they’re worth fighting for.

It might be hard sometimes; there might be stupid fights of scenarios they’ve created in their own head. But more than anything, they’re worth fighting for, if you can fight with them through this, it’ll come back to you ten folds.

The phrase ‘It’s okay’ can never be used enough.

It’s two words. Two words that stop every thought running through their head. And honestly, you can never say it enough. So just say it, all the time, and seriously MEAN IT.

Sometimes you just have to listen.

They’re going to play out these situations in their mind and jump from point A to point B, sometimes you’re not even going to know how they got there; best thing you can do is let them go off on their tangent even if there’s no solution.

Don’t tell them ‘you’re overreacting’.

To you, it might seem irrational. But to them whatever they open up to you about, it’s something that actually keeps them up at night. So just take it as best you can.

They probably won’t sleep through the night.

Whether it takes them a while to fall asleep or stay asleep, you’ll be woken up by them at 3 am as they lay there wide awake. Just hold them close and the comfort in your presence might be enough to get them back to sleep.

Remember it’s not that they don’t trust you.

They’re scared. You say it’s an ex and in their mind they jump to cheating. You say it’s a friend and in their mind it’s someone trying to break you two up. It’s not you and your relationship that isn’t trusted, it’s every worse case scenario automatically playing out in their head, and they hate themselves for it.

Answering texts timely does help more than you know.

You’ve probably noticed they answer embarrassingly fast and they know not everyone is like them but it helps when people understand it. It helps when you say ‘I can’t talk now this is why I’ll text you later’. Silence kills anyone with anxiety. It creates problems in their mind that aren’t even there. It ends in apologies that aren’t even needed. And it adds a layer of stress to their life they wish they could control.

Don’t be mad if they send a double text.

You might turn your phone on to four texts. If you can, remember it’s not that they’re trying to be annoying. They care. They care too much and they know it makes them look bad.

Accept their apologies even if you don’t understand.

Whether it’s a night out gone wrong, a triple text, saying or doing the wrong thing, they’re so observant. They’ll pick up on slightest shift in you and before you even realize u might be upset and they’ll apologize.

Help when you can but know when you can’t.

They would rather have ten meltdowns, biting off more than they can chew and they will never admit they can’t handle something. They’ll always say yes and never turn anyone away, in those moments where it seems like they are going to fall apart and break just hold them. Help them if you can but know they’re inclined to not ask for help. They’re used to dealing with things on their own.

Once trust is gained they’ll love you unbelievably hard.

If there is something someone with anxiety is really good at it’s love. If there’s something they’re strong in, it’s their ability to show you how much they adore and appreciate you. It might take them a while to trust you but once they do their capacity to love you will fill you in ways you didn’t know you were empty or even missing something.

Maybe this makes sense for anyone who is dating or wants to start dating someone with anxiety. And always remember: Love breaks all barriers.

[haikeeko]

proposing to your partner with a ring and asking them to marry you is OUT. presenting them with a sword and swearing fealty and protection to them for as long as you walk this mortal plane is IN.

[newrelationshipgoals]

Love alone is not enough to develop a relationship, you also need an important ingredient called friendship to make the relationship blossom.

[sk-lumen]

If a guy chases you, he has an agenda. He’s not emotionally invested. Once he gets what he wants or you stop running, he will disappear. Don’t give in to these men.

If a guy pursues you, he is emotionally invested. This is the kind of man that if you run, he'll stop pursuing you. If you walk towards him, he comes towards you too. If you set boundaries, he respects then, because he genuinely cares about your wellbeing.

[femmefatalevibe]

Any idea to know what to do and say in terms of conflict?

Depersonalize others' comments & actions

Perceive the person's intentions – are they seeking war or peace?

If their intentions are sound, enter the conversation with the mindset of two individuals vs. a problem – decouple their humanity, emotions, wants, and needs from external factors & situations

Seek to understand, not win through your conversation

Approach the conversation from a solutions-oriented POV

Remember that compromise means both parties walk away happy or at least content with the outcome – self-sacrifice has no place in conflict resolution or negotiation

Hope this helps xx

[soulinkpoetry]

Jordan Peterson is a clinical psychologist who I think gives the best advice. He said “ Think long and hard what it is you want from a partner , then go be that!”

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[kaleb-is-definitely-sane]

Relationship Advice from a Single Person pt 2945: If your beloved/lover does not love the moon as much as they love you, dump them. It's a red flag. This also goes for sunshine, poetry, art, music, books, sunsets, flowers, starlight etc.