#remus is done with their shit

[immadeofdustandshadows]

Sirius: guess what?

Remus: what?

Sirius: no you have to guess.

Remus: *thinking* i don't know.

Sirius: James is missing.

Remus:

Remus: NOW WHY WOULD YOU MAKE ME GUESS THAT?!

[jamessluttythighs]

marauders talking about NPCs

James: yeah, he called me a NPC??? what even is that

Peter: it's a muggle thing

Remus: non-playable character dumbasses

Sirius: playable character?

James: I am played by no one

Sirius: Exactly

Remus: *facepalms*

[hearts4dorlene]

Remus: I'm just going shopping with Dorcas to help them with their Christmas presents for Marlene, do you want anything?

Sirius: No thanks Moony, love you, bye!

Remus: I love you too, see you later!

Regulus: Merlin, you guys are so gay

Sirius: Homophobia doesn't work when you are quite literally fucking my best friend Reg

James: *jaw dropped*

[theeerealpunkin]

Virgil: You suck. I hate you so much.

Remus: Love you too, emo bro

[bimoonphases]

@wolfstarmicrofic May 1 - prompt 1: Accidental Eavesdropping [word count 487]

“Come on, Remus,” Lily nudged him with her foot. “Tell me.”

Remus opened one eye, narrowing it under the bright spring sun barely shielded by the tree they had settled under, not too far from the banks of the lake.

“Why? You hate him.”

“I don’t,” Lily waved her wand in the air. “Do I think Black is as obnoxious as Potter? Yes. Do I wish them harm? Only occasionally. Do I judge your pining after Black? Of course no, it wouldn’t be nice of me. Besides, it’s not like you actively chose to have a crush on him.”

Remus chuckled and looked at the banks of the lake, where May lay sprawled in the sun and Marlene sat with her feet in the water, quite blatantly eying Dorcas Meadowes who had left her group of Slytherin friends behind and was now swimming in lazy strokes not too far from them.

No, he definitely hadn’t chosen to fall for Sirius Black. Of course, he didn’t agree with Lily’s opinion of him or James but that was because she had never gotten to experience the fierce loyalty the both of them were capable of. Lily didn’t know about his furry little problem, as Sirius called it, and the lengths to which the Marauders had gone to help him and stand by his side. Still, she was right about him not actively choosing to have a crush on Sirius fucking Black of all people. Who in their right mind would subject themselves to endless pining after the handsomest guy in their year, always popular, always the centre of attention, always with a cohort of girls following him around.

“I don’t have a crush on Sirius,” he sighed.

“Right,” Lily rolled her eyes. “And Dumbledore has notoriously cropped hair.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Remus forced himself to look into Lily’s green eyes. “I think I’m in love with him.”

“Oh,” Lily stared back at him. “Oh, shit.”

She twirled her wand between her fingers and opened her mouth again in the same moment a loud crack came from above them. In the following second they managed to move away before a huge branch fell between them, along with a tangle of limbs and robes. Remus stared, recognising the human-shaped tangle on the grass.

“Pete said it would end up like this…” James’s voice groaned, half-muffled by Sirius’s stomach.

“Yeah, well, we never listen to him,” Sirius’s voice answered from the grass, a bit clearer.

“What the fuck, Potter?”

Lily had gotten to her feet and was glaring at them.

“Alright, Evans?” James managed to smile as he removed Sirius from his chest.

“You could’ve killed us! And you were eavesdropping on a private conversation!”

Remus felt his cheeks heat up as Sirius managed to sit up, the echo of his declaration of love still ringing in his ears.

“Come on, Evans…” James raised his hands in an appeasing motion.

“Fuck no!” Lily pointed her wand at him. “You’d better run.”

For once, James did as he was told and scrambled to his feet, ending up running along the bank with Lily on his heels.

“You arsehole!”

“It was innocent, Evans, I swear!”

“Bullshit!”

Remus grimaced at the thought of what ugly spell-induced boils he would have to remove from James’s face later on and turned away from the scene, coming face to face with a grinning Sirius, still sprawled on the ground in that annoyingly elegant way of his even if he had literally just fell out of a tree.

“So…” Sirius cocked his head. “How about Hogsmeade next weekend, just the two of us?”

Remus’s heart skipped a beat.

“You mean like… a date?” he managed to whisper.

“Yes, unless you were lying to Evans about your feelings for me.”

“I wasn’t,” Remus forced himself to say. “But I didn’t think…”

He saw Sirius’s cheeks redden, and his grin soften.

“I just didn’t think you’d ever like me this way,” he said. “I thought you’d go for someone calmer, less… chaotic. I mean, I’m always around causing some mischief or trying to get a party together.”

“Yeah, that’s probably why,” Remus smiled.

He saw Sirius hesitate then he leaned slightly forward, carefully putting his hand over his.

“So… Can I take you out on a date to Hogsmeade?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Remus nodded, his heart pounding in his head. “Definitely.”

[hlxc23]

Conversations I’ve had that remind me of marauders characters part. 29

Sirius: do you ever wonder if-

Remus: nope.

Sirius: what-

Remus: no I don’t wonder that.

Sirius: I didn’t even finish what I was saying??

Remus: you don’t have to every time you say “do you ever wonder” it’s followed by the most buffoonery type bullshit ever said in mankind that only you would wonder about.

[stargirl273]

Remus: *reading his book in the library*

Remus: *Hears soft classical music in the distance*

Regulus: *Reading a table next to him, having his earphones on full volume*

Remus: James, do you hear that to?

James: Oh, the classical music? That is reggie. He loves that kind of music

Remus: *Walks up to Regulus* What song is that?

Regulus: Oh, just Solas from Jamie Duffie. Don't think you know it.

Remus: *stares at him* That's my favorite classical song.

Regulus and Remus: *Dark academy fangirls squealing*

Sirius: *just walked in to the library* Is that my brother? And my boyfriend? Bonding?

[my-castles-crumbling]

yule - @wolfstarmicrofic - word count: 79

"Have yourself a merry little Christmas. Make the Yuletide gay," Lily sang under her breath, knitting a maroon scarf as she perched on an armchair in the Common Room.

"Heh. Gay," Sirius chuckled immaturely, looking up from his Potions homework.

Lily shot him a withering look. "That's a bit rich coming from the bloke who regularly shags his equally male roommate."

Sirius choked on thin air at the jab, reddening slightly.

Lily was learning far took much from Prongs.

[moonyswarmsweaters]

James, filming a video of Sirius and Remus, yelling: Two Bros! Chillin in a hot tuB 5 feet apart because ThEY WONT FUCKING CONFESS!

[spoondoodles]

I blacked out and more Logince HS AU appeared on my canvas idk what happened (also ty @oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat for some inspiration sorry it took so long to make a post about Them <3)

[itsquiett]

I just think that Sirius would LOVE making "are you serious?" "yeah, that's my name" jokes ALL THE TIME. No one could use that phrase without getting a smirk from Sirius. And that's the tea.

[immadeofdustandshadows]

Sirius: a pessimist sees a dark tunnel

James: an optimist sees a light at the end of the tunnel.

Peter: a realist sees a freight train.

Remus 'done with their shit' Lupin: the driver sees three idiots standing in the train tracks.

[yourneighbourhoodantisocial]

Sirius : look how I'm not dating my best friend's brother. Very dem-

James : look how I'm not dating my very own wolfy bsf. VERY DEMURE, VERY MINDFUL, VERY CUTESY

Remus n Regulus : .....

[hearts4dorlene]

*after a Quidditch game*

James: We won!! Wasn't I fabulous darling??

Regulus: You were okay, can't criticise much

Remus: Wrong answer

Regulus: Huh?

James *sobbing his little heart out*: YOU DONT THINK IM FABULOUS????

[lunasky2491]

I̷f̷ y̷o̷u̷ c̷a̷n̷ r̷e̷a̷d̷ t̷h̷i̷s̷,̷ r̷u̷n̷.̷

damn is the big bad wolf after me

the big bad wolf being remus when sirius finally discovered his secret chocolate stash and scoffed part of it and hid all the others around the school.

little did he know remus being remus and unable to be separate from his chocolate put a tracker spell on his prize chocolate’s packaging and sirius just so happens to be carrying said chocolate bar around

let’s just say when he saw that appear on the packaging of the muggle so called “mars bar duo” he knew it was time to run and oh how there was an angry werewolf on his tail

[bearswithaxes]

shout out to those people on ao3 that put wolfstar fanart that is them just fucking to realise I'm gay and aesexual (acesexual idfk)