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#respect my wishes and go the fuck away
toastsnaffler · 2 months
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everyone say thank u to my roommate for going to visit her parents this weekend so I can jack it loud and nasty 🙏
#i love her but there are some benefits to having the flat to myself.... love getting to wander around in just my boxers + a tshirt too#things i could do while she was still here if i wasnt a pussy 🙄#jk itd just make her uncomfortable and im too respectful for that#having a lowkey crush on her is an endless comedy to me bc we would be so woefully incompatible romantically#and also sexually.. historically ive only ever stone topped bc ive never been comfortable enough w anyone to let them fuck me#despite very much Not being stone or exclusively a top. and i think shes some form of sex repulsed anyway so like. sits there dead silence#and also shes so in love with her other friends and i showed up late to that party.... ive been feeling kinda guilty lately bc ik-#she misses them a lot and wishes we'd be able to stay roommates w them too. and im a pretty poor replacement for them tbh#and i love spending time with her but whenever i do i feel kinda painfully aware im not them like i could never fill that space#and asking to hang out more with her always feels like im taking away from time she could be talking to them. or even being alone ik she-#likes her own company and i get that a lot too so its chill but ahh.. man#i dont mean this in a bitter or jealous way at all like theyre all such sweet ppl i couldnt ever hold it against them#theyre kind of a 3 headed cerberus type situation and im like. the stray puppy they found on the side of the road#theres nothing they can do differently i was just born to be alienated from other ppl forever until i die. and someday i hope ill-#finally get used to it and accept i wont ever feel like im enough for anyone else or feel like anything else is enough for me#old wounds healed over 5082 times that still hurt to touch but i cant help pressing my fingers into them anyway bc its a familiar pain etc#anyway lost where i was going with this its just been on my mind again recently. i hate to be pitied i hate to feel like im only included-#bc they didnt want me to feel left out i hate feeling like a shoddy secondhand stand-in and its been a lot of that lately#also been a little annoyed bc sometimes it feels like shes trying to micromanage my social life and girl. we're not close enough for that#im sure its well intentioned but im not part of what they have going on i cant compete in that ring so dont try to push me into it..#ahhh. its all ok tho one of the guys is coming to visit next month which will be rly fun but ill try to give them some space too#its good at least im doing this processing now bc group situations can be spike traps of triggers for me sometimes#regardless of how good friends i am w ppl and ive already had a wobble a few weeks ago w how i cope and i dont want it to become a#fully fledged regular issue again bc its so hard to crawl back out of that pit. anyway losing coherence here im gonna stop rambling#and go make myself an early dinner and then back to drawing........#sorry for long tags if ur reading this blows u a kiss but go find a better use of ur time girl!!#.diaries
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latent-thoughts · 7 months
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"Azriel is a fuck boi." "Azriel has the personality of a wash cloth." "Azriel is a creep." "Azriel is a stalker." "Azriel doesn't understand consent." Etc. etc....
I keep reading these mind-blowing takes in the Azriel and ACOTAR tags here, and....
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All I can say is...
Well, reading comprehension is a rare commodity these days. 👀
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ziracona · 1 year
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I didn’t know literally all the companions you can take to the Fade in DA2 sans Anders will sell you out and try to kill you and their friends for a demon deal I’m losing my shit. I knew Merrill did bc she did it to me but apparently anyone but JustAnders will ditch your ass to make a deal with a demon and I’m absolutely going insane
#Fade day must have been a real win for Anders. the high ground to gloat @ Fenris & Merrill over long term arguments. at Aveline for hopping#the abomination train after 8 fucking seconds. UNREAL her takeaway from it was ‘Mages should all be locked up’ bc she gave in and not ‘I#suck for selling out’ like get fucked for that Aveline real bitch move. rip to you but I would simply not kill my friends for a demon wish#and did not!!! you know what’s not hard?? saying no & walking your ass away. Feynriel said no and he’s like 13 and a dreamer which is the#highest risk type of mage. it’s not impossible to say no u just kinda suck#EVERYONE but Varric and Merrill deals with it by going 😌 ‘actually this is either Hawke’s fault or demons can’t be faught against and not#my fault at all actually fuck you either Mages Hawke or both 😌😌😌’ like actually fuck you guys#shoutout to Varric and Merrill at least for going ‘ha ha :’-)) sorry for suckiiiing haha :’-))) this was real bad huh? mb bro haha :’-))))’#like I can respect that. the rest of y’all get your unable to accept blame or responsibility for your actions asses off my damn porch#literally everyone in DAO said fuck off to deamons with little effort & several were too smart to even start to be tricked#‘it’s impossible to fight back!’ Uhhhhmmm tell that to Alistair Wynne Morrigan Sten Zevran Ohgren Leliana & the Hero of Fereldan Fenris and#Aveline!!! maybe your willpower just sucks ass and you should fuckin learn how to say the words ‘I’m sorry and I was wrong’ did u think abt#that???? did u?#dragon age 2#every other companion: ‘You didn’t give in to the desire demon???’#Anders & Justice: ‘what like it’s hard?’
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hella1975 · 1 year
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hella I keep getting edits with some sort of original version of waiting room?? on my fyp and I'm gonna be honest waiting room wasn't a song that did me in quite as badly as the rest of you but this version I keep hearing literally rips my heart straight open😭😭 like I've been planning on fixing the no waiting room on spotify issue by taking it into my own hands🏴‍☠️ but now I know it's gonna have to be this version I'm not even bothering with lost ark waiting room. it's just gonna be waiting room og bc what the fuck?? "I never grew up with you, and you're not my waiting room" what the fuck??? with the haunting background noises literally WHAT THE FUCK????????
OMG IVE SEEN THAT ONE everyone keeps going on about the vocals of 'and you're not my waiting room' but i really cant get over 'i never grew up with you' like what??? WHAT??????
#for some reason i rlly connected this song to a childhood friend of mine that im pretty sure ive at least vaguely mentioned on here before#but basically we were INSEPERABLE for years of my childhood and he was about 2 years older than me#so i think i was 5 and he was 7 when we met and we stayed friends until i went up to secondary school so SIX YEARS#and we literally spent all day together we'd play in the gardens and run about the place and we were both really outdoorsy#and obvs it was before proper tech really started coming in so it was when kids literally just got shoved outside for the day#and left to their own devices and it was GREAT like i remember him and that time so fondly#but he was also really messed up like he'd come from a lot of foster homes and he'd had every kind of abuse#and he'd finally been adopted by the couple on my street who just couldn't handle him bc their answer to his issues#was to spoil him and give him what he wanted so he just got worse bc he had a real violent streak in him#and obvs if you let that grow in a boy they're not gonna wake up one day and it'll be gone like. it's going to get malicious#and low and behold he started getting like actually dangerous like he choked his sister once and he got kicked out of school#bc he threated to BEHEAD A GIRL WITH AN AXE like really fucked up shit#but i was in a pick me moment bc he was always really nice and respectful to me until he wasnt#and even then ive never ever blamed him for it bc we were both young and he was so traumatised#and sooner or later we stopped hanging out and my mum was relieved bc that's how bad he was getting#and ive literally never spoken to him again. but he's just one of those people i think about all the time????#like idk if it's bc of what went down or bc of the age i was but he was a HUGE deal to me and my development#and for some evil fucking reason i think of him when i listen to waiting room especially the 'i know it's for the better'#bc i KNOW it's for the better i got away from him before he got really bad but still i so desperately wish i couldve helped him yk?#especially now i understand what abuse actually means and what he'd suffered which i had no idea about at the time#SO TO ADD 'I NEVER GREW UP WITH YOU' WHEN I FEEL LIKE I ABANDONED HIM AS CHILDREN?? STOPPPP#PHOEBE PLEASEEEE#anyway unnecessary rant over rori pls pirate this song for the masses pls pls the world needs you#ask
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orcelito · 8 months
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Guys I think the writing for fire emblem engage is somehow worse than fire emblem fates. Im a longtime fire emblem fan, I've played every recent game, and this... this is just Awful lmfao
Im still having plenty of fun & I have my handful of characters I love soooo much. But God fucking damn this writing is just some of the worst I've ever seen in a game
(Major spoilers in tags. Ran out of tags so I can't spoiler tag hfkshfj.
Final conclusion (since I ran out of tags): What Even Is This Fucking Game. Definitely my least favorite fire emblem game in many respects, but By God I'm going to finish this bitch and I'm gonna have plenty of fun as I do so. And I'm also going to make fun of every narrative choice it makes along the way bc the writing in this game is just SO fucking bad holy shit. I just need to finish this game and get on with my life already. God fuckin damn.)
#speculation nation#ive been critical of it from the start. bc it really isnt good. tho ive softened in some respects#it's plenty of fun thankfully. i enjoy the battle system a lot & the maps can be challenging in a fun way#but the moment i stop to think about Anything it all just feels so ridiculous#there have been a few moments it's surprised me. plot twists that were Almost cool.#but most of the time it's just throwing a bunch of shit out of left field at me and expecting me to be invested (im not)#so it's like. the 'plot twists' are either things i saw coming from a mile away OR things that r just so fucking insane it's not satisfying#like. the game saying 'oh man this thing you need to get to is at the bottom of this biiiig frozen lake! however will you get there?'#'how about... you trust the woman who has been an antagonist THE ENTIRE GAME UP UNTIL NOW to be telling the truth & to be helping u'#'heres a magic item she used the rest of her life to make! how sad! dont you feel bad for her? she wanted to be a mother!'#'no dont think about all the times she hit your little sister :) she feels bad about it so it's obviously ok actually :)'#'anyways take her magic item. itll get you to the bottom of the lake. how you ask? underwater breathing? PHHHSH'#'NAH your ass is going a thousand years into the past to break this thing b4 it fell into the lake OH ALSO you meet your past self#from when you were evil. good luck! :)'#im. not making any of this up. im not making ANY of this up and i really wish i was.#i was just rubbing my temples for that entire stretch of story it's so fucking stupid.#i think one of the most interesting things it did from a narrative standpoint was take away the rings 12 chapters in#so you hit rock bottom and have to crawl your way back out with the help of some unexpected allies#like. yea that's interesting. EXCEPT from a GAMEPLAY standpoint it's one of my least favorite fucking things in the game#you get used to this set of mechanics but halfway through you have to switch gears to an entirely different set of mechanics#and by the time you finally get everything back & ur army is full and whole. the game is almost over.#itd like that narrative choice SO MUCH MORE if it didnt set me back in such a major way & restrict total gameplay access to the End#every game has a slow trickle in of new characters so you dont have everyone until later in but EVEN THEN#you generally have everyone by 2/3rds way thru the game. then the last third you pick ur favs and u train them for the end#in this game. you dont get everyone until fucking chapter 23 of 26. my army is full and veyle is such a delight to have#but i only got her in CHAPTER. FUCKING. TWENTY THREE OF TWENTY SIX.#i just finished chapter 25. im nearly at the end. i love my main army but it feels like ive barely gotten to know them as a whole#bc it only finally formed TWO CHAPTERS AGO.#im just. god this game is so frustrating in a way ive NEVER experienced before. and ive played a lot of games!!!!!#like dont get me wrong im still having fun with it. i love a lot of the characters and the gameplay (now that i HAVE all of it) is So fun
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loumauve · 1 year
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#sometimes I wish there was like a guide or sth to dealing with intimacy when you're ace#not just in relationships but also in relationships#bc sometimes I think back to conversations I've had with non-ace folks in the past#and usually they would come down to sth like 'when you know you know'#or 'there's gonna be this look and you'll know it's the right moment'#which all seems fake af and untrue and entirely un-applicable if you've agreed to sth else#like.. if you've agreed to not worry abt that and that you'll pick up the topic if anything ever changes#but how do you know if things have changed. how do you know what you want vs what you're wanting only in the moment#and how do you not make it awkward if you bring it up only to later realise maybe you were just having a weird moment#(like. I go through phases every month and I know it's coming. but I also know it'll go away again eventually)#(and like.. I guess I'm still terrified of setting expectations for things I can later not fulfill)#(and sure that's prob due to fucked up shit that happened in past relationships and this is not the same)#((..the difference a partner you can trust to keep their word on respecting your boundaries can make...))#anyway. scared shitless of starting sth I can't finish. also unsure if I want to start anything in the first place#and just so tired of not knowing where to even fucking start. gonna blame my migraine weirdness for posting this in the first place#a day in the life of..#(((how to know if maybe you'd like something now when you haven't in the past but now all parameters are different..#..and maybe it would be nice but maybe it would still suck and you'd end up hating it and feeling regretful..#..and maybe you'll never be able to get out of your head enough to just have a moment and go with it and be happy)))
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lathrine · 1 year
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speaking of For The Future leaks, obviously i wont be posting or reblogging anything i see and i AM blocking the shit out of accounts who ARE posting leaks. in fact all im going to talk about from now until the 21st is Now I’m Eyeing An Uncomfortable Question, which is not canon compliant with s3, and also my renegade shinobi prince deidara kamizuru headcanon because i am, At Last, ready to nail my headcanon to the church door of the nart fandom
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capetowncapers · 2 years
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This close 👌🏻 to just driving off somewhere even though I just got home a couple hours ago bc I’m already over my family.
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briarhips · 2 years
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If my grandmother prays aloud that I get married soon one more time I’m killing myself
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cepheusgalaxy · 2 months
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I hate them
Why do they feel its ok to cross a boundary uve asked them not to?
Why to they get mad at me when I get hurt by that?
Why can't they just understand that's how I'm communicating with them? They feel like I'm "humiliating them" by not letting they take a piece if my food? It makes me feel bad okay? And its not like its a surprise. Ive already told them. Over and over again. And now, this time, I snap and get mad at them, they ask me what's wrong and I say "well i am mad at you for getting my food without permission" and they have the gut to blame me for that! They've cross a boundary I've already set before and enforced a hundred thousand times!
You are actively disrespecting me and each time you do that you're just telling me that I don't deserve to set boundaries.
Why are adults like that? I don't do that to you, because I respect you. You keep saying I don't but I do! I always avoid crossing nay boundary of yours because I know how it'd suck if/when someone does the same! Why can't you understand? Why do you keep comparing yourself to me? Yes I know you wish you had a father like the one you are to me but every time I'm sad with you you just refuse to hear me. You never listen! That's why I didn't want to talk! Because everytime its just you talking and you never listen to me!
I've already told you all the reasons why I'm upset. I've already told you many times and many different simple ways to avoid that in the future.
But you keep going!
It hurts okay? So, yea, maybe I'll snap at you this time. Because you keep getting on my nerves, and I always try not to care a lot and just talk things through because I knew it'd end like this. And I didn't even do anything! I got mad, expressed my feelings to you and then went on calming myself! I just proceeded to eat and read my stuff! And then you thought it was utter disrespect because I'm mad at something you did!
I hate you! I hate them I hate them I hate them so much
Why do they never listen?
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ridiculous-lazybug · 2 months
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ngl the constant misgendering from my family is getting really tiring
#delete later#like. i've been out to them for more than 2.5/1.5 years respectively now#they took some time and a couple reminders to start getting it right#okay that's understandable#and like last summer depending on the person they gendered me correctly somewhere between 50/90% of the time#but idk what happened while i was away but now it's between like 5 and 50% of the time at most lmao#at least i can be grateful they don't use my deadname i guess#(lmao)#but also my dad is my dad + his gf and my grandma are going through difficult stuff so he has to support them#and my mom is in the middle of a burn out#so i tried talking to them about it but it barely changed anything and i don't feel like insisting would be right considering the burn out#and my sister has a lot on her plate too#so how can i tell them that everytime they call my sister and i 'the girls' as they've always done i want to fucking#run into my room and slap the door like a teenager or something and disappear until they get it right#man it's so obvious they've never changed the way they see me#even my friends i feel like they're doing worse than before#and my bf is the only one who's doing it pretty well#but i read so many stories of trans guys being left by their cis partners who show their true colors after they start t#so while he's always reassuring me there's also a part of me afraid of that happening once my body changes when i'll finally get on t#i really love being trans but i just wish i could be respected at least by my family lmao it's not that hard#anyway vent over sorry if anyone read all that
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vanyafresita · 2 months
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actually, you know what ? im glad my ex gf ghosted me, i dodged a bullet it seems
#this was two years ago and just a few months ago i started getting over it#on the one hand yeah it fucking SUCKS i wish i had had some type of warning instead of radio silence suddently from one day to the other#on the other i was ready to move to texas (me: poc queer fem presenting nd bitch) and was looking seriously jobs over there#and like- i fucking HATE the usa but she was really scared about leaving the states to come to europe- so i was willingly to travel there to#be with her and not put her through that (ive been traveling since childhood so im used to it- but she has certain mental stuff going on and#taking her away from her family and her childhood city was going to be really tough- of course i'd sacrifice my life for hers)#and like im so sorry to everybody who is stuck in the usa right now bcs ur country is treating yall so poorly i feel genuinely bad#but as someone who was planninh to work over there as a teacher..... IM SO FUCKING GLAD I DONT HAVE TO SET FOOT THERE 😭#every single thing i hear about the education system there seems hellish- as well as the teachers' conditions and wages#like over here its not all rainbows and flowers but at least i dont have to worry about school shootings or getting fired for recommending#books from a banned list 💀#ESPECIALLY as a poc latino queer linguistics and literature teacher- i'd love to talk to students about a big range of things- i cannot#imagine having to censor myself or dance around a subject becs “kids are too dumb to understand queerness” “youre trying to groom them”#“dont brainwash em you commie” like ma'am im trying to help your child develop basic empathy and respect for those who dont look like them#like i hear some serious worrying stuff from teachers over there i hope u guys are holding up somehow 😭😭😭#anyways idk how the phrase in english goes but in spanish we say cuando dios cierra una puerta- abre una ventana#(<- trying to look for the positive in getting ghosted by the girl of their dreams)#its fine guys anyways#yeah that was the first LD relationship ive ever had- never trying that again#also i found out im arospec so im definitely not getting into a romantic relationship lmfaoooooo#only QPRs for me now if anything lol#vanya strawberry flavored
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ms-morphine · 3 months
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I delete my dni for like 2 days to rework it a bit/format it better and then fuckers just flock to my account
I HAVE MY DNI FOR A REASON MF!!! BECAUSE WHEN PEOPLE ON THAT LIST INTERACT WITH ME I WANT TO PUT A GLOCKY IN MY MOUTH
I HAVE PSYCHOSIS I GET ATTACHED TO CHARACTERS THAT AREN'T REAL AND WHEN I SEE CERTAIN SHIT IT TRIGGERS ME. YES I AM ON MEDS, NO THEY DON'T MAKE THE FEELINGS GO AWAY. ALL THIS SHIT MADE ME 🔪🩸🩸🩸 BECAUSE THE DHMIS FANDOM DOESN'T KNOW HOW THE FUCK TO BEHAVE
Feel free to block the rageposting tag if you don't want to see me be a unstable rabid bitch
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coyote-fawn · 3 months
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#so i have been looking at ancestral practices to add to my collection#(WHITE SUPREMACISTS AND NATIONALISTS THIS POST IS NOT FOR YOU KEEP FUCKING MOVING)#bc my heritage is mostly hungarian and slavic and germanic#i have been peeking into those areas#and everything seems to be leading back to the scythians as far as a practice/cosmology that resonates#but it is so difficult to find untainted info#obvs im not talking about christianity bc it just kind of syncretized its way in#and that’s fine#tho im most comfortable with a practice that is faaaar away from christianity for personal reasons#im talking about like. people made shit up and also white nationalism#ofc because i live in the US my main focus is my region#but i like what im finding and i wish i could find MORE#would scythian practice be closed??? is it weird for me to go so far back in history????#agh this is mostly just the result of me not having anybody to talk to about this IRL so im going insane#ALSO how much of this is closed???#i know there are potentially shamanic practices in some of this and i don’t want to take what’s not mine#even if some of my ancestry is held there i didnt grow up in it and i really do not want to take what i am not welcome to#these are practices that i respect so deeply and i do not want to do them an injustice.#ALSO of course the white american lack of identity leading to people saying ‘oh im x nationality’ when their family is generations removed#there’s a lot going on there that i can’t speak to eloquently#but i know that’s something to consider as well#(my recent ancestors mostly kind of suck so building a practice based on them isnt something i will do#just as an aside to why I’m doing this specific searching so far back)#but the lack of cultural identity (or more the ‘american identity is the default so much that we dont even see it anymore’#and ‘my ancestors squashed their heritage so they could assimilate but were still extremely privileged in many areas so#how do i reclaim that and still acknowledge my struggle is lesser than others’)#so im going insane. again.)#if anybody with perspective wants to chat about this please hmu!!!! i am begging you!!!!!
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diomedrian · 6 months
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I think all of this would hurt less if I blocked him, I don't think I'm angry that he fell out of love. That happens, that's understandable. I think I'm angry because of how he handled it, how he has the audacity still to wake up every day and text me at least once. I want to punch the living shit out of him. I never want to see him again.
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renthony · 1 year
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It's darkly amusing to me that some people thought my mom didn't "discipline" me enough as a kid, were not shy about making sure both she AND I knew it, and now as an adult I'm one of the only people in my friend group who still wants anything to do with their parents. The proof is in the pudding, as they say.
When I was a kid, I broke a ceramic soap dispenser. I burst into tears and was terrified that I was going to be in trouble. My mom told me that it was okay, because accidents happen sometimes, and the important thing was that I didn't do it on purpose and apologized.
When someone else I know was a kid, they broke a dish on accident and got screamed at and guilt tripped. To this day, they have to push down a panic attack at the sound of broken glass, and have had to actively work on healing from that trauma. They will always have to carry that.
I think maybe it's not MY mom who fucked up in the "how to discipline your child" department. Quite frankly, I think the idea of "disciplining children" is fucked up and deeply harmful on a fundamental level.
When a kid does something wrong, you have to teach them how to fix it and do better. Humans are messy and complicated and we don't know everything there is to know just by being born. Children are learning how to be human beings, and that's a really hard thing to learn.
Kids question and fight back against authority that mistreats them, but someone treating them like a human being with human emotions is usually going to have a lot of success. Kids just want to be respected, and it's our job as adults to give them that basic human dignity. The world is utterly terrifying, and made scarier when all the grown-ups seem to hate you and wish you would just shut up and go away, even the ones that claim they want you around.
Kids can be mean, because they're still learning how to socialize and communicate and collaborate. Sometimes you have to give them time to cool off, and sometimes you have to redirect them. Sometimes you have to be firm. Sometimes you have to be an adult, and hone your conflict de-escalation and resolution skills. None of that requires punishment.
And if a child does something truly cruel and fucked up and shitty, and it hurts someone in a big way? My first question isn't "what should their punishment be," my first question is always, "who taught this kid that, and is this child in active danger from them?"
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