#reupload bc something was bothering me

[blorengerhymes]

fake pokemon for smogon CAP32

[heshemejoshi]

going west

[bugbugchev]

reupload bc something was bothering me but inter-dorm sleepover!! i will be the first to pioneer lemon+love+margarette trio art (unless there is someone else who already has, if so please show them to me!!)

[loosiap]

~ url song game ~ 🎧

I was tagged in this for my main blog by lovely Kate but I'm just annoying that was not enough letters for me so I'm gonna bother yall here too~

Lost - LOST (yt - finding any reupload is so difficult... you could say it's kinda lost)

OOTD - Dreamcatcher (yt - TW flashing lights/spotify)

Odaát - AWS (yt - TW flashing lights I think/spotify)

Shallow - Ghum (yt / spotify / bc)

I Never Know - Something For Rockets (yt / spotify)

Appaloosa - Lor (yt / spotify / sc)

Połączenia - Kombajn do zbierania kur po wioskach (yt / spotify)

Tagging (only if you want ofc no pressure): @letomills, @burnedspaghettidrama, @megamassikalove, @that-strangetown-kid, @themeasureofasim, @teaite and whoever wants to do it

[ravenwolfie97]

okay i have to talk about this because it's been really bothering me lately and i need to say something before i explode

so lately i've been noticing on many videos, shortform or otherwise, that they include subtitles! awesome! super helpful and cool

but idk if it's always been a problem and i'm only noticing it now, or if it's gotten particularly bad lately, but... recently a lot of those subtitles are really really bad

slight tangential anecdote: i used to do some freelance captioning work in between real job hunting, and it was a good experience. i was already interested in doing it, obviously, but i was coached on proper captioning etiquette and guidelines to make it look as nice and readable as possible while also transcribing the audio as best as i could before my superiors would touch it up. so i do know a thing or two about proper subtitling, but even if you didn't you would Know that there are some serious problems right now

i'll give a few non-specific examples (bc i'm too lazy to hunt them down to show you). there is a pretty popular (i think) youtube shorts personality who mostly does reaction-based videos, like i think it's actually mostly tiktok stitches reuploaded to yt shorts. but anyway this person, along with most other tiktok people who have subtitles for their lil internet rambles, are probably only basing off of their voice, like there's some kind of auto-caption that gets most of the words right, save for a couple small ones. i can understand that especially for the reaction/vlog crowd who are just trying to pump out videos, but like. i also follow john and hank green. they also reupload their tiktok stitches to yt shorts and have subtitles. and guess what? they're flawless. immaculate. you Can change them. or maybe they just talk better idk my point still stands that there is issue here stemming from having the computer do it with minimal to no touch-up. which leads me to my next example

one of the first nails in the coffin recently was this one pokemon youtube shorts guy i kept getting where he'd look into old game saves. all of the videos are subtitled, but similar to the tiktoks, it appears to be transcribing the voice on its own. what's worse and the most important here is that - remember - this is a series of pokemon videos. saying a pokemon name and expecting an AI to understand what that is out the gate is insane. and it doesn't. any time a pokemon's name is said, it just spews out words that are vaguely similar-sounding standard english words. and it's never the same each time too, which is fun. this is where taking the time to edit or even give a smidge of a damn to the craft of your video really would mean a lot, because for as many as i've seen it turns me even more off every time i see those shitty subtitles. but unfortunately that's not the worst i've seen in the last few days

the one that hurt me so much i physically could not stand it, to the point that i left a Comment on how bad it was, was an edit of a streamer's twitch VOD. normally, this streamer uploads snippets of their streams to yt shorts and has really good and well-edited captions there! i usually have nothing to complain about from this guy. but this one particular video... i don't know if it's because it's an older VOD and someone's just been holding on to it for months, or if it was a huge rush job, or What. but this video had literally the worst captions i had ever seen. they were just slapped down in chunks, not even lining up with the people who were talking, a negligible amount of punctuation, literally the barest minimum of effort. but that's not all! let's not forget that this is an edited clipshow, and there are Effects and Transitions for not only the video itself but the text as well! so SOME amount of effort was put into this because it got actually edited into a decent-sized video instead of just being a small clip. it's literally makes me sick i am so unhappy about it

main point, TL;DR, moral of the story: for the love of all that is holy, please remember that captioning is literally an accessibility feature. some people cannot hear or are unable to listen to videos sometimes, and i can't imagine what a hearing-impaired person who relies on subtitles to engage with videos would think watching either of my last two examples. what makes it worse, too, is that i can't even tell these people to hire someone to do it for them, because oftentimes they DO have people to do that work for them. and they still fuck it up. and then they continue on, to churn out more content. ugh just take a moment to remember that captions are not just for engagement. they're a tool, and some people can use only those as their guide through your video. don't make it impossible to parse. the purpose of them is to be read and understood. and you can't do that if the sentences are in overlapping chunks or if your words are too non-standard to be translated by a computer

[hanibalistic]

I reread celestial strings pt 1 and 2 and back then when i first read it i was way too shy to say anything but now i am changed and LEMME JUST

the way i smiled at my phone like an idiot and giggled and cooed AND CLUTCHED MY HEART

im really looking for pt 3 of it bc its just so so so good and my heart just breaks for them at the end of pt 2 (begging for a happy ending for them BC THEY HAVE TO BE HAPPY TGT LIKE WDYM)

(the amounts of times i clutched to my cat bc it was so cute and when it was so heartbreaking)

also would you consider expanding this universe when this series is finished? like I can imagine a cute fluffy series for Felix too. His thing about love and soulmates is just so 🥹🥹🥹 LIKE IT FEELS LIKE HE DESERVES HIS OWN LOVE STORY TOO YK

anyways your an amazing writer and im starting to get self conscious and shy abt sending such a long thing to you

gskshkddh WAIT SORRY TO BOTHER but also the celestial strings links atm are like a lil broken cause it directs me to the web version of tumblr as opposed to the app honestly its fine if you dont fix it but just to let you know

here’s the cat that I CLUTCHED AND BASICALLY MANHANDLED bc the story was giving me too many emotions (shes fine and actually really happy abt it tho like shes is an extremely clingy cat)

hopefully this brightens your day like how celestial strings brightened mine <3

hello there! how wonderful for you (and your cat! whose name i don't know so pray tell!) to drop by ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა

thank you so much for reading celestial strings, that story is my absolute baby and always will be (っ- ‸ - ς) i can't even remember how that story came to life in my head, it kind of just did, and it was surprising i managed to finish that story at all the first time i posted it because i am having a lot of issue with writing it now. i don't know what you meant exactly by the first time you read it, but (if you know) the original version of it has a happy ending, which is not happening (๑ᵔ⤙ᵔ๑) the two main reasons why i decided to reupload celestial strings on here blog is because (1) i love the story a lot so i wanted it up, and (2) to give it the ending i wanted it to have, which is arguably a non-happy one!

i actually have expanded the universe in my own time! i mainly worked on the magic system + minho's family, though. i don't think i would write something long for the extra characters in the story. and even though the way this new version ends would seem like it's setting up for a sequel (i suppose? it will depend on the way i write it!), i don't think i will ever write one. i have a track record of writing blurbs for characters within a universe, though, so cs!felix will still appear occasionally.

the links are weird! i don't know why tumblr is doing this even when i didn't insert the web links on the masterlist (·•᷄‎ࡇ•᷅ ) it's been doing that for other links too. i will see what i can do though,,,

[earthendandinbetween]

Love these morons

[transedgeworth]

i hope shes having a good day.....

[agent-houdini]

happy birthday to me houdini!

[shotorozu]

hellooo,, i saw another tiktok video(and since ur like the elite on writing this type of reqs im requesting to you aha) https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSJYsk4CY/ for shoto, kaminari and monoma (if u write for him) ty 💕

‘bae lol’

(the greenscreen heart, then kiss tiktok trend)

character(s) : todoroki shouto, kaminari denki, monoma neito (bnha)

legend : [Y/N = your name] for monoma reader’s a part of class 1-A, they/them pronouns used, quirk’s not specific

headcanon type : fluff (x reader)

note(s) : oh, i absolutely love AND hate this trend, it’s mostly bc im single though :,) not like i can get a partner in the pandemic. anyways! i love your thinking, anon <3 also no proofread bc its like,, 2am here </3 will edit later!

»»————-　♡　————-««

todoroki shouto

he’s very aware of your tiktok antics, but out of all of the ones you’ve pulled on him, and asked him to do

he loves this one the most.

because shouto doesn’t have to get the lights scared out of him, and it doesn’t have a chance in ending terribly.

you brisk towards your room, knowing that shouto rests inside— “shou!” you call out to him, and he tilts his head up

“Y/N, tell me it’s not—”

“no, i swear!” you drop next to him on the bed, and you play the video. “this would be fun to do, right?”

he doesn’t say anything at first, but he definitely wants to do it, judging by the fact that he’s replaying the tiktok over and over again.

abruptly standing up, he tugs at your wrist “let’s do it.” he says with determination hinted in his voice

you’d think that he’d get the hang of doing tiktoks because of you but LMAO NO— the greenscreen failed you both multiple times in a span of 40 minutes.

the first take, the heart was blurry, the second take, the kiss was captured seconds before the kiss, and the third take— your phone fell 💀

plus, his movements were a little stiff the first few times, but after the third try— he definitely got the hang of it.

and,, he doesn’t understand tiktok effects, not even the slightest.

on the brighter note, he has more excuses to kiss you so,, it’s a win for him! he won’t get sick of doing any retakes :))

you knew the moment he focused on making the perfect heart, as he firmly pulled you close to kiss you

that, would be the perfect shot there. he almost forgot that there was a camera recording

shouto is seen replaying the filmed tiktok over and over again— and it might’ve looked odd to anyone else

but not to you, definitely. for you, it’s the norm to see him like that.

“do more trends where i could kiss you more.” he pecks you on the lips, before he leaves you be temporarily only to edit the tiktok, ofc

the tiktok itself blows up by a ton, gathering 2M likes, and 5M views, in a surprising amount of time, and you didn’t even notice how he placed his hand on your hip

until the comments pointed it out to him. which shouto replies with “i always do that. you just didn’t seem to notice.” it’s fine bc you do now

the comments consisted of “where can i find a guy like this 💔” “haha that’s so cool *blocks*” “okay but we sEE THOSE HANDS 👀”

nonetheless— please do more trends like that with him. don’t be afraid!

shouto rates the entire ordeal a ♾/10. can and will do it again. oh— and he saves his home and lockscreen as the final outcome from the tiktok. he did a screenshot it, and decides to keep it like that for a very long time

kaminari denki

again— this man is ALWAYS on tiktok, so he’s aware of most of the trends there. but that doesn’t make them any less scarier

but oh wow, he loves this trend. denki was just praying that you’d see it— and ask him to do it with you.

he was grateful that luck was on his side, since he was ecstatic when you skipped over to him— asking him to do a tiktok trend

“oh, what tiktok trend? wait— please tell me it doesn’t involve me breaking up with you for a week so you could listen to drivers licenses—”

“what? no— let me show you” and when you showed him the tiktok, he showed you this cheeky little smirk

“let’s do it! the sooner the better!” he says, and he seems more excited that you 💀

denki’s so enthusiastic, to the point that the first few takes are a total fail— as he makes you fall over your feet, as the result of quickly pulling you onto him for a kiss.

“denki— one of these days, you’re going to shatter my face”

“sorry, sorry!” he grins sheepishly. and it’s a miracle that he didn’t accidentally short circuit!

you guys try again, still persistent in getting at least a decent video, and this time— when he yanked you, causing you almost slip

he tightened his hold on you, a hand pressed against the small of your back and another hand dangerously close to your bank

the kiss is eager, passionate— and he holds you like you’re on the verge of death

and this flusters you because MAMDKWDK what happened to the goofiness 💀 i suppose that’s what happens when you have an eager denki kaminari.

you upload the video, thinking it would only get 5 likes at the very most— but it exceeds your expectations

though most people couldn’t get a clear view of your relationship dynamic with him, denki’s enthusiasm did attract the attention of 2.8M people

and in a good way, because the video did get 800k likes

the comments consisted of “when he caught you when you almost fell :,)” “damn he was EXCITED” “hey, have you told us where you got your boyfriend? i need the link to find someone like him NOW‼️‼️”

the bakusquad fawned over the video weirdly, but it quickly gets overplayed by denki— since that’s all he watched for a week or so 💀

monoma neito

bruh </3 as much as he loves you, you’re going to kill him with pranks one of these days.

he’s totally in on it if HE’S not the one being targeted, but most of the time,, neito’s the subject of your pranks

so he thinks it’s another silly prank, where you make him pick a number between 1-5 and ghost him for that many hours.

but when you show him the video one day, when you guys were chilling in your room— as per usual, he declined :,)

“sorry dear Y/N! but no. that’s my answer”

“but whyyy?? it’s so harmless!”

“the class is going to tease me for being a part with a silly tiktok like that.” and besides,, he’d be a hypocrite for participating in that kind of tiktok with someone from class 1-A.

in reality, he did want to do it. he wasn’t so sure on why he said no— but he does want to show that something so easy isn’t really a bother to him.

“oh- don’t be so sad about it! you know what?” he gently pulls you up, “let’s do it. i don’t care what those silly class 1-A kids will say anymore.”

“what? i thought you said you didn’t want to.”

“have you ever heard of a lie?” he clicks his tongue, but he’s glad that you’re feeling much better than you did 10 seconds ago.

when it comes to it, he’s actually really shy about it. not like a ‘i don’t want to be seen with you!’ more like ‘gosh, how many takes is this going to take? will i be able to kiss them properly?’

“what if i end up accidentally copying their quirk? neito— focus, damnit.” he thinks to himself, brushing the anxious feeling away.

he’s determined enough to stay focused— but man struggled a bit with cooperating with the heart shape.

“neito— not that heart!” “well, you said to make a heart, so i did!”

it takes a few tries for the greenscreen to cooperate, and for you guys to get in sync

and when he finally has to kiss you, he grins at you— a very obvious blush adorning his cheeks, as he smashes his lips with yours

then he remembers that he actually has to break free from you— and forces you guys apart, still trying to play it cool

“wow! i look awesome. only i could kiss you like that, right? i don’t need an answer, because i know it’s true!” he says with that proud laugh of his, but it immediately dissipates after the second replay

neito leaves you be, not only for you to upload the tiktok— but also because he needs to THINK WHAT JUST HAPPENED he’s running laps in his mind rn

you upload the tiktok, not worrying too much about it— as you wanted to let it sit for a while, before checking up on it

however— when you open your phone again, you get bombarded with multiple text messages from kendou, and the other class 1-b students.

“you and monoma went viral!” is what you can sum up about most of the messages, and you have to see for youself— wanting to know if the tiktok really did get 800k likes and 1.9M views in a short amount of time.

spoilers ‼️ — it did

the comments were mostly like “why can i smell the dynamic from a mile away 💔 i want that.” “he’s definitely annoying to everyone but you” “sHEESH the way he smirked before he kissed you 😩✋‼️‼️😔”

monoma flexes on a daily that he did that to your class— but he HATES how class 1-b wrecks havoc on him, by teasing him

in short— he does prefer this more than being scared. and! he didn’t have to verbally ask you for kisses 💀

»»————-　♡　————-««

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei, i only own the writing and i do not profit off of my hobby

do not plagiarize, reupload, translate, or use my works for audio readings without permission

[cinnaminsvga]

what are your favorite fics you read for every member? like the ones that resonated and left you a changed woman when you finished. could be because of characterization, or plot, or nostalgia, just the ones that come first and easy for every member, like, the iconic ones for you. can be mxm. i'm asking cause i just read worldwide lonesome and. damb. just. i kinda feel like i read seokjin’s diary or something? like it felt invasive just bc of how REAL he felt, you feel me? so. i'm curious about u

this is such a loaded ask because honestly, i had to think really deeply about this!! there are so many fics out there that have changed me as a writer and as a person in general that its hard to pick just seven... but i’m glad you mentioned worldwide lonesome because that fic is definitely!! fucking!! up there!! it might actually be my #1 seokjin fic, so you already got me there. but man... i put a lot of thought into my answer because my reading list is a never-ending pool of queerness and angstiness, as those tend to resonate the most deeply with me (since i am, after all, both queer and angsty HAHAH) so uhhh... here i go!! (also i apologize that these are mostly mxm... weirdly enough, i’m kind of more affected by those bc i relate more to them than reader inserts for some reason... the world is bombarded with hetero representation, so excuse me for clinging to my sole source of queer love lmao)

➤ for seokjin:

worldwide lonesome by loindexter [yoonjin] - i already mentioned it, but MAN... this fic left me stunned. the characterization of seokjin is what gets me the most, and by god, i am a SUCKER for coming out stories. as a closeted queer person, i’ve always wondered what other people’s experiences are with coming to terms with their sexuality, and op really hits the nail on the head. seokjin in this fic just feels... so real. like you said, it almost felt like i was looking into his diary!! it was maddening and tearjerking and oh so fucking human... you could feel his turmoil as if it were your own... and yoongi!! dear god, yoongi... that sweet fool... this fic just struck a cord with me because of how intimate and vulnerable it felt. i really hope i can write a fic like that in the future.

➤ for yoongi:

here comes the sun by fruitily [yoonkook] - this was unequivocally the hardest decision i’ve ever had to make in my life, mostly because i’ve read a plethora of yoongi fics in my day and it is quite literally so difficult to pin down a singular fic that changed me the most as a person. the reason i chose this certain fruitily fic (op will always be my biggest writing idol... if i could, i’d list down their entire masterlist as my favorite yoongi/jungkook fics of all time) because of the emotions it made me feel. there’s always something a bit sad about summer romances, and i’ve always been a sucker for that sort of trope because of the many possibilities you can do with it. it’s just... the way yoongi was portrayed here was just so darn REAL,,, you could almost physically feel his increasing want, his slow realization that yes, he does love the bucktoothed kid from summer camp. i absolutely adore the interactions he has with all the characters, because you can almost fool yourself into thinking he’s a real person. he’s a friend, and you’re watching him come to terms with what it means to love someone you only see once a year. dear lord i love that dude i’m gonna go cry now!!

(also bc i’m cheating but i also recommend the nights really were made for saying things you can't say tomorrow day by siderum... first yoonkook fic i ever read and dare i say it literally changed me as a person. there are no words.)

➤ for hoseok:

depaysement by 1honeypot (oilblotter/obiwrites) - okay i know this is fucked up for me to recommend a fic that doesn’t even exist on the internet anymore (op deleted her account on tumblr and has moved to ao3 but she’s never gonna reupload this fic again unfortunately) but MAN i still remember that fic to this day. it was so fucking GOOD and it made me realize the potential reader fics had that i never knew was possible. the entire plot was the usual make-over cliche (popular trendy girl makes the nerd hot yadah yadah yadah) that i had thought wouldn’t be interesting, but op managed to turn that trope into her own. it was hilarious, hot, moving, relatable... just ticking off every point that makes a fic great. i miss that fic so dearly and if you were some of the lucky few who managed to read it when it was still around... i think you all understand.

➤ for namjoon:

beta tau sigma by bazooka [namjin] - i cannot count the amount of times i’ve reread this fic. like, no joke, i probably memorize a few of the chapters from rereading it alone. holy fuck,,, as you can tell, i have a pattern when it comes to my fave fics and it’s all about: GAY PANIC THE MUSICAL!! yea... i just really like fics about self-discovery because MAN as a young adult traversing the mysteries of human nature and sexuality, i sincerely relate to namjoon in this fic. “am i gay, or am i just gay for my best friend?” is a question i have asked myself NUMEROUS times... dear god, namjoon is just a walking catastrophe and i!! could not!! relate!! more!! the plot flow and immersion you get from this fic is out of this world. you almost feel like you’re in the same frat as them!! i also love the way op made even the side characters have their own story arcs and backgrounds... they are what inspired me to give life to even the smallest of characters bc it just heightens the reading experience imo!! they really do feel like your friends in this fic, and this fic will always be my sources of comfort.

➤ for jimin:

darling, just say you’ll say by tusaisbts [yoonmin] - have i not sung this fic enough praises? i know it looks weird from the premise... cowboys? mail order brides? i thought it was odd at first too, but believe me when i say you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. jimin’s growth as a character here left me absolutely speechless!! i just love his development: from a scared stranger dropped off in the middle of nowhere to a smart and capable teacher who can hold his own in this small rural town. i especially love how he interacts with yoongi, because op really makes you want to root for them. you want them to fall in love, to make their relationship work out. that yearning for two characters to get together is something i want my own readers to feel, and there aren’t enough words in my vernacular to explain how happy i was when everything turned out well. and jfc... rancher yoongi? got me so fucking hot n bothered and now i will forever be enamored by the thought of rugged yoongi... jfc...

➤ for taehyung (& jimin!!):

mudlands & yellow acacia by nonheather [vmin] - i remember the day i read this like it was yesterday. i had a final to study for, but instead i read this entire thing in one go and then i cried my eyes out even until the moment i walked into my exam room. i don’t know how else to describe this other than it was otherworldly. it was cozy. it was heartbreaking and magical and downright lovely. i especially loved the way taehyung was here... so fucking whipped for park jimin. he loved like no other man could, and jimin might have been a little too bullheaded at first, but they make it out okay. i’m not really one to believe in soulmates, but this fic almost made me believe they could be. it made me yearn for the first time, and i think that counts for something. to love another person and to have them love you back... op made me believe in love. 

➤ for jungkook:

years since you’ve been here by ameliabedelias [namkook] - okay maybe i’m just a crybaby and i cry at every fic under the sun but dear god this fic... might be The Fic That Changed Me As A Person. like, of course the other fics were mindblowing but this one in particular... wow. trampled all my expectations and caused a garden to bloom in my heart. jungkook is so sweet, so lost... he feels too much and he aches for namjoon. i know all too well that feeling of melancholy... when you love someone you’re not supposed to. coming of age stories will always have a soft spot in my heart, because i always tend to project myself onto the main characters. i want to grow and find my own destiny. i want to learn and be happy. jungkook finds his way, tumbles and trips the entire time, but he gets there. a symbol of queer triumph.

[ophiedokes]

author interview tag thing

thanks for tagging me @dickpuncher420!

name: Ophelia/Ophie

fandoms: used to be very heavy into The Hunger Games. Currently I’ve got my toes in the zukka fandom. Peering anxiously around the corner at the old guard fandom but not there yet. 

where you post: AO3

most popular one-shot: Speak Ill! not only just of what I have uploaded but out of anything I ever published (used to have over 50 works on AO3 lmao)

most popular multi-chapter fic: by default it’s the one hunger games fic I reuploaded after I left the fandom this spring, Beholden

favorite story you’ve written so far: this one is also Speak Ill I think. it’s 

fic you were nervous to post: I was anxious to post Courtesan bc it was my first Zukka and my first M/M and my first ATLA fic but it was so so well received!!

how you choose your titles: I try to be like, short and to the point (Speak Ill, Courtesan, Beholden) but when I can’t make that work I go for the classic song lyric 

do you outline?: for fic not at all lmao like I know what I want to do in the vaguest terms but I don’t bother writing down that plan. I do work off of a like half formed outline for my actual books though

complete: everything except for beholden and firepit which may not be picked back up lol

in progress: currently I’m working on an original fiction book for nanowrimo as well as edits on my other romance book I Wrote this year 

coming soon: uhhh I’ve got a couple of half formed oneshot ideas (like classic zukka Throne Room Sex trope) and have something written for a hunger games x zukka au because idk I’m a one trick pony 

do you accept prompts?: uhhhh yes but without any guarantee that I’ll ever get to it lmao

upcoming story you’re the most excited to write?: again this is original fiction but after I finish my current book I get to start on the one about the lesbian fake marriage thing and that’s. exciting

upcoming story you’re most excited about?: remorsefully here I admit that I have not been reading fic like, at all recently, because I’ve been doing nanowrimo/was working on double shot before that/etc. there’s a big bang or two happening soon I think? that I’m excited to go through after it’s all out and feast upon   sorry to break the tag chain but idrk who to tag for this so if you see this and wanna do it then you’re it! 

[xbaepsae]

heartbeat | part one (m)

“You fell in love with a boy who was in love with music, and you weren’t sure if he was capable of loving you the same way. This thought should’ve caused you to move away from him; but, if anything, it just drew you closer.“

[musician!yoongi x reader | jeongguk x reader]

genre: angst, smut

word count: 11.4k

a/n: hello! happy new year! if you’ve followed me for over a year now, you will know that this is a reupload. i deleted all of my fics a few months ago, and now i’m finally ready to start writing again :) i’m not sure if i will reupload all of my previous works, but heartbeat means so much to me so i had to start off with it. when i first uploaded this fic series, there were four parts but i decided to condense them into two bc they’re not new and i’m only minimally changing some things. so, i hope you enjoy (if you’re reading this for the first time)! thanks for reading and excuse any grammatical errors lol. xoxo

part one | part two

The exact moment that you fell in love with Min Yoongi would be a moment you’d remember forever.

“Here,” he had said to you that day, “listen to this.”

He handed you a pair of beat-up headphones and you placed them over your ears. You hadn’t known what to expect, because honestly, the headphones were extremely uncomfortable, but what you heard next surprised you. It was a song—he wanted you to hear a song he composed. And the best thing of all was that he sang, even though you knew he hated singing. Yoongi handed you his notebook that day too; and as you read his lyrics and listened to his song, you knew you were done for.

Most people fall in love because they know they’ll be loved back. You fell in love with a boy who was in love with music, and you weren’t sure if he was capable of loving you the same way. This thought should’ve caused you to move away from him; but, if anything, it just drew you closer.

The year Yoongi played his first song to you, you were sixteen and already hopelessly in love.

Even though you were positive that the feelings inside of you were true, you never told him how you felt. At least, not until it suddenly spilled out of you. By this point, you were nineteen and still had everything bottled up inside of you. Yoongi was still a good friend to you and invited you over to his place to listen to more of his demos. This little listening session turned into sharing a few drinks.

And blame it on the alcohol; you don’t know why, but you suddenly said the three little words: I love you. The reality of your words didn’t hit you until moments later, and your eyes had nearly fallen out of their sockets. Yoongi stopped moving and looked at you with scrunched brows. What came next was what you had expected all along, but it still made you shatter into a million pieces.

“I’m sorry, y/n, but I don’t feel the same way.”

He had tried to explain that he did love you, but not in a romantic way. He saw you as a little sister, which had perhaps stung more than simply saying he didn’t like you. You went home that night and cried. And although his rejection stung, you learned to deal. You just pretended like the confession didn’t happen and, thankfully, Yoongi never brought it up again.

After the events of that night, you never drank so much around Yoongi again; alcohol clearly made you a little too honest, and you didn’t want to risk acting like a lovesick fool.

It would have made sense if you let the boy go after sister-zoning you, but you were such an idiot—you still loved him endlessly and you couldn’t just stop. Min Yoongi was like a drug that you couldn’t stop using. Everything about him was intoxicating. His passion for music was out of this world and, although he often had a cold exterior, you knew deep inside that he was soft as could be.

The year you turned twenty-one, your friendship seemed like it was fine; the same as it had always been. But you knew something was different when Yoongi stopped calling you over to listen to his new music. You didn’t know what you did wrong, or if you had done anything wrong at all. Yoongi was known to go into weird funks, so you didn’t question anything. Then, a whole month went by. That’s when you started getting worried. It was a Friday, after work, that you decided to pay him a visit. You swung by his apartment, using the spare under the mat, but no one was home. Hope was nearly lost, until you remembered that he was sharing a studio with someone.

When Yoongi told you that Namjoon had given him the opportunity to use a room in the studio, you were happy because it was a definite upgrade from the desk in his bedroom. You had met the guy a few times before, but he was always holed away in that studio. You guessed that Yoongi was there too; where else could he be? Since you had been to the studio once or twice, you had a general idea of where it was.

The studio was only a few blocks from the apartment so you made it there in only a few minutes. It was actually the basement of a small ramen place, and you always wondered if the couple who owned the place got annoyed with all the noise. But they were all smiles when they saw you and didn’t even look twice as you climbed down the stairs.

You pushed the door of the little studio open and immediately, you were greeted with Namjoon. He sat on the couch by the little window, a cigarette pulled to his lips. When he noticed your presence he stood up, discarding the narcotic. He stared at you with wide eyes, surprise marred across his features. Now that you think about it, you were quite rude that night; you completely ignored the poor guy and marched straight to the room you knew belonged to Yoongi.

Namjoon called your name, attempting to stop you. And now, you wished he would have.

You pushed the door of Yoongi’s room open, walking right in. Your lips had started to part, in hopes of speaking your mind, but the picture in front of you completely stopped you. All of the extra pairs of eyes in the room turned to you, but the only one you sought out didn’t even spare you a single glance.

“Y/n,” Yoongi said your name, finally acknowledging your presence.

“Wha—What’s going on here?” you asked, frozen in your spot.

A man in front of Yoongi stood up and suddenly extended his hand, “It has been my pleasure, Yoongi.”

“Mine as well; see you in Seoul.”

That was when everything made sense.

Yoongi had been avoiding you that entire month because he was making personal arrangements concerning his musical career. A part of you had been furious; why didn’t he say anything? Why did he have to stop talking to you for a month? Another part of you had been ecstatic for him; he was going to make it big, and you couldn’t be prouder. But despite all these mixed feelings, there was something larger weighing down on your shoulders—a part of you was scared. If Yoongi went to Seoul, you were going to lose him.

As the men finished congratulating him, they walked out and left you there alone to stare at him; you didn’t really know what to say. Should you congratulate him? Should you just leave?

“Were you never going to tell me?” was the only thing you mustered up.

His eyes rolled once before lazily meeting yours, “You’re my friend, y/n.”

“And?”

“Of course I would’ve told you.”

Your eyes move down to stare at the floor, “I doubt it.”

“What the hell is wrong with you?” he suddenly asked, and your body flushed in anger.

“What the hell is wrong with me? More like what the hell is wrong with you, Min Yoongi,” you said to him. “You claim that I’m your friend, yet you ignore me for an entire month. I thought that maybe you were just in a little music funk, but no—you were actually planning your career and didn’t even bother to tell me.”

“Is it so bad that I want to pursue music?”

You rolled your eyes, “No, it’s not; I’m actually really happy for you. But you don’t seem to get it—you didn’t tell me. If I hadn’t shown up today, I probably would’ve never known.”

“I said that I would’ve told you,” he argued. No, he wouldn’t have.

No longer knowing what to say, you backed out of the room and ran out of the studio. You rushed past Namjoon, past the ramen couple, and felt slightly bad for not saying goodbye, but you couldn’t stand looking at Min Yoongi anymore. You ran all the way home and didn’t stop until your body landed in the sheets of your bed.

That night, you cried again—he was always making you cry. You mostly cried because the truth, which you tried to suppress, was coming back to bite. Yoongi was never going to be capable of loving you as much as his music, and it hurt more at this moment than ever before.

You wondered for many years why your heart chose to beat for Min Yoongi. Why him of all people? Fate seemed cruel that way. Many times you wished to go back to how things were before he stepped in your life. But then you remembered that your life was rather dull without him. Even though Yoongi caused you a lot of pain, his presence was important.

Sure, he was cold and calculating, and he always got too consumed in his work, but behind it all, he was just a boy who loved music.

The next morning, you went back to the studio. Yoongi was already there, like you had predicted, and looked surprised to see you. In fact, it looked like he hadn’t even left the place—he was still wearing the same clothes from the day before. The air had felt awkward, but you pushed past it and pulled your hands from behind your back, “Here.”

You handed him an iced Americano, and a few moments later he actually smiled. A relieved sigh left your mouth as he took the drink from your hands and began to sip it.

“What’s this for?”

“I’m sorry,” you said, shifting on your feet. “I overreacted and it’s not my place to question you. It’s your life, you should be able to do whatever you want.”

Yoongi looked in your eyes, “I’m sorry too. You were right, I probably wouldn’t have said anything—but that’s just how I am. I’ve always kept to myself, but you really are my friend and I also respect your opinion.”

Taking in his words, you nod once, still not able to look him in the eyes.

“So…when do you leave for Seoul?”

“Next month.” His answer was short and sweet, but the impact it has on you would’ve said otherwise.

“Really?” your voice sounded small. “So soon?”

He sighed, “It would’ve been sooner, but I told them I had some unfinished business here.”

You suddenly looked up and met his eyes, “What? Me?”

“I told you that you’re my friend; my only friend.”

“What about Namjoon?” you asked.

“Namjoon and I? We’re more like music colleagues; dudes who just do music together,” Yoongi said and you couldn’t help but laugh. “We’ve been through a lot, y/n—you’ve been through a lot with me. I’m grateful for that.”

There it was—there was the Min Yoongi you fell for. You yearned so much for him in that moment. You didn’t want him to leave; you didn’t want to lose him. But instead of verbalizing all of that, you merely smiled and showed him everything otherwise.

“I guess we’re going to have to make this month count, huh?”

Over the course of the next month, you proceeded to show him everything he would miss about your small town. You would say to him, I bet you Seoul doesn’t have this…even though you were sure Seoul would have something much better and greater. But the one thing Seoul would lack was you; and even though Yoongi mentioned numerous times how important you were to him, you just didn’t know how much.

Like all things in life, the day of his departure came and it was time to face reality. You walked him to the train station with heaviness weighing over you.

“Well…I guess this is it,” he said, looking down at you.

You looked into his eyes and felt the tears that threatened to overspill, “I guess so.”

And without much of a warning, he suddenly pulled you into a hug and the tears sprang free. You had tried to keep the tears at bay, but you just couldn’t help it. You clung onto him like your life depended on it; your hands fisted into his jacket, your head nestled into the crook of his shoulder.

“I’ll come back and visit, yeah?” he chuckled a bit to relieve the situation.

“You better, Min Yoongi,” you could barely muster up the words. “Promise?”

“Promise.”

You knew that you couldn’t hold onto him forever; you had to let go eventually. And you did, watching him step onto the train. The tears still fell down your face and your chest wouldn’t stop heaving. You saw him take a seat by the window and waved to him. He did the same, waving until the train departed the station and left your line of sight.

Once he was gone, your chest hurt—like there were a million fragmented pieces that couldn’t be mended together anymore.

The exact moment you experienced heartbreak with Min Yoongi would be a moment you’d remember forever.

***

He never did keep his promise.

You waited month after month for a visit, but a visit never came. You also waited for a phone call or message—one of those never came either. Even though you knew Yoongi had forgotten all about you already, there was still a smidge of hope in you and you didn’t know why.

The hope that you had for Yoongi to contact you contrasted deeply with how you actually felt about him; you still felt the same as the day he left—completely broken.

For a while, you didn’t know what to do with yourself. You were a shell of the person you once were. You were in love with the guy, and he just up and left. It was honestly kind of sad how dependent you were on him, especially since to him you were just a friend.

You just missed him so much, so much that you found a job at a music store just to feel a little bit closer to him. It was pathetic, really; every day you were surrounded by music that he loved and if anything, it just made you miss him even more. Missing Yoongi and working at the store soon proved to be a bad combination.

Working in a music store meant you had to deal with masses of people whenever a new album dropped. At first, you really didn’t mind the masses; they kept you well occupied and mind off your problems. Being busy was a great distraction, at least until roughly about a year after Yoongi left for Seoul.

Your work day started off as any other day would; you clocked in, restocked the current music racks, and checked the new inventory. It was all fine and well until you checked to see who the album belonged to. It was a name you weren’t familiar with, but when you looked at the cover art you stopped breathing for a second. Shock racks its way through your body and the album nearly slips from your hand.

“Oh my god,” you whisper and run the computer.

Typing away at the keys, you search every article concerning the name and album. Soon enough, you pull up an article speaking about the new artist and nearly die on the spot. The new artist was Min Yoongi himself, now going by the stage name Suga.

You stare at the computer screen, at a loss for words.

Scanning the contents of the article, you read that Yoongi—Suga—was set to release his debut album. And apparently, many music critics were anticipating the drop due to a preview of his single that dropped a few days ago. You click on the link that leads to you a video and a song begins playing. It’s short, only fifteen seconds long, but leaves your chest heaving.

You look through a few more articles before you hear your name being called.

“Y/n, you’ve got customers,” your manager calls.

“I’m coming,” you answer even though you want to keep looking through the internet, but you also don’t want to get fired.

You walk back out into the main area of the store and see a young man browsing the vinyl shelves. Looking around, you notice that there is no one else in the store and you almost want to scream at your manager for making you come out for one person. He didn’t even look like he needed help. But you walk up to him anyway and put on your best fake smile.

“Hi, do you need help with anything?” you ask in a voice that sounds way too cheery, even for your own ears.

The guy looks over at you, “I’m just looking around, but thanks anyway.”

He turns his attention back to the vinyl in his hands, and you can’t help but look at it too. You notice the familiar cover and smile, “I really like that album.”

“Really?” he looks at you surprised. “Not many people listen to them anymore.”

“Yeah, they’re a band Yo—” you catch yourself, “an old friend introduced me to a long time ago.”

Yoongi had introduced you to them sometime around when the two of you had first become friends, and you had loved them since. Seeing the album stings a little, nostalgia from the past resurfacing.

The guy offers you a wide smile, “Your friend has great taste then.”

For a moment, you feel struck by this stranger’s smile. A warmth you haven’t felt in a while fills you up at how genuine it seems.

“By the way, I’m Jeongguk,” he introduces himself to you.

“Y/n,” you reply, shaking yourself out of the little trance.

“So y/n, how long have you been working here?”

“Just the past year,” you tell him.

Jeongguk nods, “So you like music then?”

Only because of Min Yoongi. “Yeah, I guess I do.”

The conversation hits a lull, but you find yourself not moving away from him yet. Jeongguk has picked up another vinyl by this point, seemingly moved on. You take this moment to ask him again if he’s sure that he doesn’t need your assistance. But the boy just kindly declines your offer and you finally begin to walk away. Before you can very far, however, something stops you.

“Since you like music, there’s a show happening at a bar near here tonight. A friend bailed on me, so I have an extra ticket…did you want to go?”

You turn around, slightly biting your lips, “Tonight?”

“Yeah, it’s tonight,” he says looking a bit flustered. “I mean, I understand if it’s too short of a notice—or if you just don’t want to go. It’s just an offer but I get it if you—”

“I’ll go,” laughter comes with your response. He was kind of cute when he didn’t know what to say.

“Really?” Jeongguk looks shocked by your answer; and honestly, you kind of were yourself. “You’ll go?”

Nodding with a small smile, you say, “Sure, why not?”

“I mean...you just met me,” he says.

“You just met me too,” you retort, raising a brow.

“Touché,” he smiles. “When do you get off?”

“At five.”

He pulls out his phone from the back pocket of his jeans and unlocks it, scrolling through something. Suddenly, he tosses the phone to you, “Here.”

You barely catch it, the phone awkwardly wedged in-between both of your hands. When you hold the phone properly, you discover that his contacts page is up. Jeongguk quickly tells you that he, in his own words, kind of needs your number if he is to pick you up at your place later. You feel your face begin to heat a little, but type your number and save it under your name.

Handing him back the phone, you smile, “Just text me and I’ll text you my address when I get off.”

After a few more exchanges, Jeongguk leaves the store with a see you later and a strange happiness you haven’t felt in a long time washes over you.

***

As the hours tick by, you find yourself getting more and more excited about the nights promised event.

This was going to be the first social outing you attended in, what has seemed like, forever. And while you were extremely excited to go out, there was an impending sense of distress lingering in your mind.

You just didn’t want to make a fool out of yourself.

So when the time reads just a few seconds past five, you clock out faster than you ever have before and bolt home. Walking into your apartment, you pull out your phone and see a message from an unknown number. You swipe the message and smile when you realize that it’s Jeongguk. You type out your address, send, and are pleasantly surprised when he replies back within seconds.

The two of you text back and forth for a few minutes, and he lets you know that the show doesn’t start until eight. But before you can suggest that it would be okay if you just met him there, he says he’ll pick you up half an hour earlier.

You spend the next two hours frantically searching for an outfit to wear. These things all seemed like foreign concepts to you; you have no idea what to do. It was like you were suddenly unskilled in the art of date preparation.

Up until the last mere seconds, you struggle with your hair and makeup. You barely get a second to compose yourself before the doorbell rings.

Running to the door, while simultaneously slipping your shoes on, you open it and see Jeongguk standing there. You take a split second to do a once over, and are surprised by how nicely he is dressed. But perhaps your split-second stare is too long because Jeongguk raises a brow and your face immediately heats up.

You awkwardly cough, “Um, hi.”

“Hey,” he smiles, showcasing cute bunny-like teeth and your embarrassment soon fades away.

The walk to the bar is surprisingly not that bad. You had expected it to be painfully weird, but it’s not; you find yourself carrying an easy conversation with Jeongguk. When the two of you reach the bar, you actually feel sad that the conversation has to end.

“So, who is playing tonight anyway?” you ask, walking into the dimly lit place.

Jeongguk leads you to a set of empty chairs. “They’re a local band; I think that’s them right now.”

He points behind you, which causes you to turn around and see a stage lit up with various spotlights. On the stage, you see a group of guys plugging up equipment and instruments.

“Do you know them?” you ask, turning back to face him.

“Nah,” he shakes his head, “well, not personally at least. I’ve heard their music before and it’s great.”

You nod and smile a little, “I’m excited.”

“Good,” Jeongguk returns the smile. “By the way, did you want anything to drink?”

He tells you that it’s only normal to order drinks, since the two of you are at a bar. You laugh and say that you’re up for anything; you were never too picky about your alcoholic beverages. “So…anything?”

“Yeah, I’m cool with whatever,” you assure him.

Jeongguk leaves with the promise of bringing you a drink that you’ll love. Once he is gone, you settle into a chair, looking around the room and taking in all the décor along the walls. The bar is small, but it has a nice feeling to it and you wonder why you have never bothered to come before.

There were many times you had walked right past the tinted windows of this place, not even sparing the deep red brick walls a second glance.

You return your attention back to the stage just as the band begins playing. Not only are they extremely talented, they also manage to get the crowd excited—which is really impressive. Unconsciously, your hands begin clapping along to the beat of the drums.

“Enjoying yourself?”

The voice startles you for a second, until you realize it’s just Jeongguk. He stands beside you with a drink in each hand, and a smile stretched across his face.

You smile sheepishly, “Uh…yeah; the music’s great.”

He laughs, “I told you.”

Jeongguk hands you a drink and you take a sip, letting the cool liquid slide down your throat. The drink isn’t bad at all and you end up downing the entire thing in a few seconds. You set the glass down and look over at Jeongguk, whose eyes are wide.

“What?”

“Well damn, y/n…” he says and you realize how crazy you must’ve looked just a few seconds ago.

“High alcohol tolerance?” is your lame excuse; it’s obvious that Jeongguk doesn’t buy it, but he just laughs again and begins to sip his own drink.

The little gig continues on, and you find yourself having a great time. You realize how much fun being around Jeongguk is—he dances along to each song, adlibs a bit, shouts with the band, and unwillingly makes you do it all too. And as embarrassing as it is, you don’t mind looking stupid as long as it’s with him.

For the first time in a long time, you’re having fun and the change feels great.

After a few more songs, the band lets the crowd know that their set has come to an end—to which Jeongguk boos along with the crowd and demands an encore. You just shake your head and laugh at his antics. Fortunately, for Jeongguk’s sake, they agree on one more song. And the boy is so happy you can’t help but feel the emotion too.

When the show is officially over, Jeongguk offers to walk you home—he claims it to be the gentlemanly thing to do—and you don’t dare argue. The walk back to your apartment is spent talking more about music under the lights of the small town. In all honesty, you had forgotten how pretty it could be at night.

“If you like the band that played tonight, there’s another similar one that’s playing at the same location next week…”

You look up as Jeongguk trails off, his face softy illuminated by the streetlights. “Are you asking me out again?” You tell him this with a raised brow and enjoy it when he starts to look all flustered.

“Um…no,” he scratches the back of his head, “…maybe?” He says all of this without looking at you, which you find absolutely adorable.

“Well, if you’re maybe asking me out…I’ll maybe say yes.” You laugh at your own words and only cease when you suddenly feel Jeongguk stop walking, and grab both of your hands. You jump a little at the contact, his warm hands a stark contrast against the cool night.

“Really?” he smiles widely, revealing a bunny-like grin.

“Uh…s-sure,” you stutter, but pray that he didn’t notice.

“Cool,” he says, lifting up his chin. “Then, will you go out with me again?”

You tell him yes and he practically skips the rest of the way to your place—one hand still tightly clutching one of yours.

The rest of the way there, you can’t even think straight. Your mind screams he’s holding your hand y/n! and you can’t stop the thought from resurfacing every point five seconds. But once you see your building come into view, you release a slight sigh of relief.

“Well, I guess this is it.” Your feet plant onto the stiff fabric of your doormat, slowly kicking at it. You look up at Jeongguk, only to see that he’s already staring right at you.

“Thanks again for coming out tonight,” he smiles.

You return it, “Thanks for inviting me.”

A moment of silence passes between the two of you and you don’t know if you should go inside, or do anything at all. It also doesn’t help that Jeongguk is still firmly holding onto your hand. As you finally decide to just call it a night, you turn around and slip your key inside the lock.

“Y/n?” Jeongguk suddenly calls your name.

Turning around, you’re about to ask him why he called your name. But before you can, you realize that he is inches away from you. His hand has detangled from your own and found its way to your face, gently cupping it.

“What—” and as the word leaves your lips, his own meet yours.

And you’re frozen; mind devoid of thoughts, body incapable to moving. But just as quick as everything begins, it all ends just as fast. The warmth emitting from his body is gone, and all you want to do is have it back.

“Have a good night, y/n,” he says, hand caressing your face.

“You too,” you reply quietly, head spinning.

Jeongguk’s thumb runs over your cheek one last time before he leaves. And even when he is gone, you continue to stand there completely dumbstruck. Eventually, you realize how strange this all looks—meaning, what if one of your neighbors saw you—and snap yourself out of the trance.

Shutting the door behind you and walking down the hall to your bedroom, you run a finger over your lips the entire time. Once you reach your room, you fall onto the bed with a sigh and stare at the ceiling. You don’t know how long you stare, but what you do know is Jeongguk plagues all your thoughts. Everything almost feels like a dream, but the only thing reminding you that this is reality is the warmth you still feel pulsating through your hands.

Somewhere beside you, your phone vibrates and your hand flies over your covers searching for it. Once you get ahold of it, you press the power button on the side and see a text message from Jeongguk.

Instantly, your heart starts to beat a little faster.

You swipe his name and see the cheesiest goodnight text that nearly makes you throw your phone across the room, but you love it at the same time. The question of whether or not to text back stresses you for a moment before you decide to hell with it, responding with a simple goodnight.

It was clearly the easy thing to do, but you have had enough over-stimulation of feelings today to last forever. You don’t expect Jeongguk to text back, it was late after all. So you decide to head off into dreamland yourself, already dreading going back to work in the morning.

Washing up, you change into your pajamas and slip underneath your covers. In the drawer of your nightstand, you pull out an extremely worn-out journal and fish for a pen. Every night, you write out the events of your day. The good, the bad, the ugly—everything. It was therapeutic, really; you have been doing it every night since…

And that’s when you realize Min Yoongi hasn’t crossed your mind a single time the entire night. This was a first for you; you were used to him filling even the littlest of your thoughts.

Not only was it a relief, but you could breathe again.

***

You think about Jeon Jeongguk for days after the kiss.

During your shifts at the music store, you randomly find yourself unconsciously running a finger over your lips; as you do this, you think beyond your shock of the overall situation and vividly recall how soft his lips had felt against yours.

Not only do you think about the kiss, but the feeling of his fingers against your skin still lingers and it drives you insane. As much as you try to make everything go away, he never leaves your thoughts.

Strangely enough, you pray that he shows up at the shop. Every time the door chimes open, you look up expecting Jeongguk to stand there smiling; but of course, he doesn’t walk in.

You don’t see him again until the next Friday, when he rings your doorbell again.

“Date number two already?” you say the moment you see his face, trying not to look too eager. But as you drink in his outfit and how his dark hair is parted to the side, you are sure that the façade falls.

“You’re the one who said yes.” A smile lights his face. “Ready?”

All you do is nod and Jeongguk slips his hand into yours immediately, as if it was something completely natural, and your heart starts to pound a little faster.

***

“Remember when we first met?” Jeongguk asks you one day, a few weeks after that second date, while lightly nipping at your neck. The two of you were watching a movie in your small apartment, a routine that started occurring every Tuesday night.

You moan at the feeling of his lips against your bare skin, merely nodding because you can’t even begin to process actual words. The memory of your first meeting briefly fills your mind; you remember feeling an array of emotions that morning: shock from Yoongi’s new album, a connection with Jeongguk, and a pleasant surprise from how it all turned out to be.

“Well, I lied.”

“What?" You’re confused. What did he even lie about?

“When I asked you how long you had been working there, I actually already knew the answer.”

With that, Jeongguk begins to suck on your sensitive skin and you clutch onto him tighter. “Are you a stalker?”

He pulls away, laughing, “No—I’ve been to your job multiple times before. Meaning, I’ve seen you before that first time we formally met.”

“Then why did you even ask?”

“Because I wanted to talk to you,” his lips are close to your skin again, “like, have a real conversation aside from the generic how can I help you. I wanted to from the moment I first walked into the store, but I was always too afraid.”

“What gave you the courage to speak with me?”

“Truthfully? When you told me you liked that album.” Jeongguk raises his head, looking into your eyes. He smiles, bringing a hand to your face. It’s the same look he gave you that particular morning, and you melt on the spot.

“Really?”

He smiles even wider, “I’m pretty sure I fell for you on the spot. I had never met anyone who had the same appreciation for music like me before”

Fell for you. You can only hear those three words.

“Y/n, I don’t know if what I feel for you is love…but I know damn sure that it’s close,” as he says this, you can see how genuine his eyes are—so large and vulnerable.

For a moment, you don’t say anything. What can you say? The boy just spilled everything to you, but you aren’t exactly sure how to spill everything you feel too. But you must hesitate too long because Jeongguk’s face begins to change; he’s second-guessing himself. So you crash your lips onto his, cutting off any words he has to say.

In the kiss, you try to tell him you’re falling for him too. You try to express that in a way, he saved you from the person you were becoming. And you only pull away when you feel that he understands.

“You made me nervous for a second,” Jeongguk breathes.

“I’m bad with words,” you say, fiddling with your fingers. You only cease when he grabs your hands, holding them tight.

He laughs, “A simple same would’ve sufficed.” And that’s when you push yourself away from him.

“Stop making me feel bad.”

Jeongguk wraps his arms around you, “I was just joking.”

And you can’t help but give into his embrace, his warmth filling you. At this moment, you feel whole; a smile makes its way onto your face as you think about the words Jeongguk said to you again.

You bury your head into the crook of his shoulder and whisper a few words that are barely audible to your own ears. You aren’t sure if Jeongguk heard them, but you get your answer as his body tenses up. “What did you say?”

Lifting your head off, you press a gentle kiss against his lips, “I want you.”

He stares at you, eyes wide. “Are you serious?”

“You said that you’re falling for me, right?” you quirk an eyebrow up.

“Yeah…but I want you to be ready…”

You press yourself closer to him, finding a surge of courage to trail a series of kisses against his jaw, “I am…”

“Really?” his breaths are already uneven.

“I feel the same way about you, Jeongguk,” you look up at him, “and I want this—I really do.”

And you aren’t lying; you thought that maybe you’d be shaking with nerves right now, but you’re strangely calm. You really want to share this experience with him. This was by no means going to be your first time, but you had held it off with Jeongguk because what you are beginning to feel is real with him.

He isn’t just someone you want to fuck and then forget about—this time is different. He’s different than the other guys you’ve used to take your mind off Yoongi.

“You’re sure about this?” Jeongguk asks.

You nod once, “Positive.”

And before you can say anything else, your body is raised off the couch by Jeongguk and he practically races to the bedroom.

“Hey, how do you know where my room is?” you giggle, teasing him.

He makes it there in no time and drops you onto the white sheets covering your bed, smirking at you before leaning down to whisper in your ear, “I’ve been dreaming about this for a while now.”

You instantly go hot, red flushing your entire body. And you aren’t sure what to say, feeling speechless from what he just said. Somehow, your mouth musters up something but you swear that they probably aren’t even actual words.

Jeongguk stands up straight and peels the t-shirt he is wearing off, and you can barely contain the need inside as you take in his taut physique. You loved him for his sweet personality and his body was icing on the cake. He then loosens the buckle on his jeans and takes them off, and you notice immediately how hard he is already.

Your brain can barely comprehend that this is happening right now.

Leaving his boxers on, Jeongguk helps you out of your shirt. When he unclasps your bra, he moans at the sight of your bare breasts and begins kissing down your body. He starts from your collarbones to your breast, and then your stomach to right below your bellybutton. Every kiss is fire, igniting a small gasp from your lips.

He continues teasing kisses above the edges of your shorts and you just want to beg him to rip them off already. After another few kisses, he slowly tugs the material down, leaving you almost fully exposed.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” Jeongguk’s eyes are dark and dilated. One of his hands has moved up to cup and pinch your nipples, eliciting a moan from you.

And although he has barely touched you, you can already feel your body drumming with excitement.

“Touch me, Jeongguk,” you say, moving his hand directly to where you want him to be.

He curses at how your juices have started to soak through. You begin rotating your hips slowly, feeling bolder as Jeongguk begins to crumble before you. He leans down to kiss you deeply and slips two fingers underneath the waistband of your panties.

The moment he begins to circle his fingers around your clit you fall back in pleasure. You moan at the pressure he applies; he knows just what to do and it feel so damn good. With each sound that comes from your mouth, Jeongguk moves his fingers faster and you feel yourself becoming undone.

But just before your high comes, he stops. A frustrated moan leaves your lips. You lift your head up and narrow your eyes, “Stop teasing.”

Jeongguk just laughs and peels your underwear down your legs, tossing it to the side. Then, he brings his fingers back to your clit, rubbing it a few times before sliding two fingers inside of you.

You moan his name as you prop yourself up on your forearms. The same high from earlier begins to build up again and you want it come badly. He begins pumping his fingers in and out, building a steady rhythm. Your hips unconsciously begin to buckle up, meeting his finger thrusts.

“Oh my god—I’m close,” you tell him, body tightening up.

And as Jeongguk eases another finger inside, that’s it—you scream his name as an orgasm deliciously washes over you.

He pulls his fingers out and replaces them with his mouth.

“Fuck!” you’re sensitive and Jeongguk lapping at your core doesn’t help. Soon, you feel another wave of pleasure hit you. Jeongguk quickly cleans you up and lifts his head off to crush you with a kiss. On his tongue, you can taste yourself and it makes you even more eager to have him inside you.

You voice this thought out loud and he wastes no time stripping his boxers off, revealing his hard cock already dripping with pre-cum. You lick your lips as Jeongguk reaches for his discarded jeans and retrieves a little foil packet. He rips the packet and rolls the condom over himself.

“Ready?” he asks, positioning himself over you.

You nod your head and he slowly enters you. The both of you groan at the stretch. Jeongguk was bigger than you thought, but you were so wet it barely hurt.

“Holy shit, you feel so good, y/n,” Jeongguk says once he’s all the way in.

“Move, Jeongguk,” you tell him, and he begins to move his hips.

Everything just feels so good and you can’t stop moaning. You bring your hands to cup your breast, kneading them and pinching your nipples. Jeongguk picks up his pace, digging his fingers into your hips as he pounds his cock deep inside of you. And just as pressure begins to build inside of you, he pulls out of you.

The loss of contact makes you let out a string of profanities. “What the hell?”

You watch as Jeongguk moves so he’s laying against the headboard of your bed. He smirks and motions with two fingers for you to come over. Even with your aching body, you crawl over to him and straddle his hips.

“Ride me, baby girl,” he whispers as you lean in to kiss him. The pet name causes your insides to twist up and a stupid smile to grace your face.

You lift yourself up and let him slip right into you. Moving your hips in a circle, you grind and watch Jeongguk’s eyes roll to the back of his head.

“Just like that,” he moans and you begin moving up and down.

Jeongguk kneads his hands into your ass and you moan when he moves them up to your nipples, pinching and twisting. After a few more thrusts, you let him that you’re going to cum again and he lifts you up a bit and begins slamming himself into you.

“Ohmygodjeongguk,” you can’t even breathe.

You feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge. And what sets you off is when Jeongguk brings his fingers to your throbbing bundle of nerves, rubbing until your second orgasm of the night hits you.

Immediately, you collapse into Jeongguk, feeling completely spent and exhausted. He continues thrusting into you, riding out your high, until he reaches his own. When he does, he moans your name and you press a few kisses on his chest.

The both of you don’t say anything for a moment, still catching your breaths.

“Wow,” you finally say, and you can feel Jeongguk’s chest vibrate with laughter. You lift your head up and raise a brow, “What’s so funny?”

He just smiles, “Nothing. It’s just that wow is the perfect word. You’re amazing…”

Your face heats.

“…and beautiful.”

You become even redder, leaning back down to bury yourself into the crook of his neck. And Jeongguk doesn’t say anything else; he just wraps you in his arms and savors the moment.

***

In the blink of an eye, six whole months go by.

Time spent with Jeongguk makes hours feel like seconds. When the two of you are together, you forget all of your problems and are filled with an abundance of happiness. And sometimes, you can’t even believe that you’ve only known him for a short time; it feels like you’ve known him forever.

With him, you feel at ease. You don’t have to try to be something you’re not.

And as Jeongguk begins to fill a void in your life, you think of Yoongi less and less. Sometimes, he feels like a person you just made up; and then you see his promotional posters and suddenly remember how real he was. But the pain is lesser now; your heart no longer calls for him in a sea of unrequited love.

You’ve finally embraced a new start.

Also, you feel…happy. Really happy. You realized that you are deserving of happiness and love; the thought that you actually considered following Yoongi around like a lost puppy for all your days seems nearly unbelievable now. The girl you were back then is someone you don’t want to be again. It’s unhealthy to love someone so much just to not be loved back.

“What are you thinking about?”

Jeongguk’s voice brings you out of your daze. You blink a few times, “Nothing.”

You look up at the boy your heart has grown immensely for and you can barely stop the smile from gracing your face. You barely recognized yourself sometimes; who was this new y/n who smiled all the time?

“Admit it—you were thinking about how hot I am, right?”

“You’re so full of yourself,” you roll your eyes dramatically, laughter bubbling from your lips. “But if you really want to know…I was thinking about how happy you make me.”

The smirk on his face softens to a gentle smile and he captures your lips in a kiss. He brings both hands to cup your face and press your bodies closer together. Desire begins to pool inside of you, and you want nothing more than for Jeongguk to push you against the bed and pull your panties aside.

“We have to go, Jeongguk,” you murmur as his lips travel down your neck.

He groans against your skin, “Right…we have plans.”

Your mind flashes back to just a few hours earlier. It was your day off so you had spent the majority of your time just lounging around, not being extremely productive. You finally got out of your bed around noon when Jeongguk stopped by, bringing some lunch with him.

Food was always great, so you two just popped some Netflix on and sat together for an hour. The two of you were halfway into some movie when Jeongguk turned toward you and suddenly said, “Let’s go out tonight.”

You had thought about it for a second, “Sure, why not?”

It had been a few weeks since the two of you had spent some quality time together…outside of your apartments. Jeongguk said he knew the perfect place for you two to go and that he’d be back tonight to pick you up.

“It was your idea,” you gently remind him.

“Yeah,” he sighs, “but I didn’t think you would wear that dress.”

You were wearing one of your favorite dresses; a little maroon number that flattered the curves of your body well. The first time you wore the dress, it was sometime after your first night together, Jeongguk nearly made the two of you miss your dinner reservations.

“And?”

He raises a brow, “I don’t even want to go out anymore.”

You just laugh at his tone as he stands up and brushes his hair back. “We’ll have time later.” You look up at him with the promise in your eyes and notice his eyes darken considerably.

As you get up off the edge of your bed, smoothing out your dress, Jeongguk pulls your body close and you yelp at the sudden movement. He kisses you one final time before you slip your shoes on and the two of you walk out the door.

He drives down your street and under the city lights, which cast a gorgeous glow against his skin. Jeongguk steers with one hand, while the other intertwines with yours.

“So where are we going?” you ask.

“It’s somewhere new,” is all he says. And when he pulls up to the place, it is somewhere the two of you haven’t been before. At least, you hadn’t been here with him before.

You turn to face him as he parks his car in a vacant spot, “A club?”

And it wasn’t that you were opposed to the idea of clubbing, but you didn’t think that Jeongguk was into these sorts of places. He was a let’s just chill and go to small bar type of guy, or so you thought.

“This isn’t really our typical scene, I know, but a friend told me about some hip musician coming out tonight and I just had to check it out,” he explains. “We don’t have to stay long, if you don’t want.”

“I don’t mind it at all,” you tell him and he smiles.

“Great.”

The two of you get out of the car and walk to the doors. Even though it was the middle of the week, there was a line circling the place and cameras everywhere.

“Who’s the musician?” you ask your boyfriend, realizing all the people must be here for him.

Jeongguk just shrugs, “I don’t know who he is, but I do know that he’s huge in Seoul.”

“So why the hell is he here?”

“Beats me,” he laughs.

You and Jeongguk end up waiting in line for probably fifteen minutes. And when you get inside the club, you’re at a loss for words at how grand and colorful everything is. The last time you had been in here was high school, and the place had been less than stellar.

“Woah,” you breathe, “when did they renovate this place?”

“Apparently, someone bought it out and changed everything.”

“That’s amazing.”

Following Jeongguk, he leads you two deeper into the club and to the bar. He orders a beer while you order the special for tonight. When the bartender hands you the concoction, the drink is a shade of bright pink and Jeongguk nearly chokes at the sight.

“What’s in that thing?” he asks.

“A little of everything,” the bartender smiles. “It’s a favorite of the owner.”

While your boyfriend is clearly worried for your life, you just shrug and remind him of your high alcohol tolerance with a smile. Jeongguk just rolls his eyes and prompts you to try it. You tip your head back and let the pink liquid flow down your throat. It’s gone within seconds, and you set the glass down with a grimace.

“It’s…interesting,” you say with a slight cough. “People don’t order more than one, right?”

Bartender guy just shrugs and smirks, “Depends.”

You didn’t even want to know. The drink honestly wasn’t that great; all the different alcohols made it too strong and overwhelming. You tell the bartender you’re fine, not really feeling like drinking the night away. Instead, you drag Jeongguk out to the dancefloor and demand that he show you his best moves. He laughs and says that he doesn’t know how, but you just raise a brow not convinced.

“You’re way too smooth in bed not to have dancing experience,” you tell him boldly, enjoying how his eyes deeply look into yours underneath the colored LED lights. And he doesn’t say anything at your comment, choosing to let his actions speak instead.

Jeongguk places his hands on your hips before roughly pulling you closer, so your body aligns perfectly with his. You nearly moan at the contact, excitement bubbling up inside of you.

“You make it awfully difficult to control myself,” he says, looking down at you.

“What if that’s the goal?”

You begin to dance to the music, moving along with the beat and remembering to push your body harder against Jeongguk every now and then. Surprisingly, he dances with you too; he moves fluidly with the song and even catches the attention of a few women around you.

When the song ends, you start breathing harder and smile at your boyfriend, “I thought you said you couldn’t dance?”

He just shrugs, “I guess it’s natural.”

“Sure,” you roll your eyes with a smile and tell him that you need to use the bathroom.

You walk away from Jeongguk and say you’ll find him at the bar later. You aren’t sure where the restrooms are, since there weren’t signs anywhere. But eventually, you find a little hole in the wall of the club and are relieved to see a glowing sign that reads women. You walk inside not expecting much, but what you see is a pleasant surprise.

This was a definite upgrade from the previous bathroom they had. The walls were painted a pretty shade of blue and neon pink lights were placed around randomly. But the best part was that the room was air-conditioned.

Your main issue with the bathrooms last time was that they lacked proper ventilation, which sucked. It was already hot enough in the main area of the club. And that was why you told Jeongguk you needed to use the bathroom—you just needed a breather.

After washing your hands and checking your makeup, you walk back out and feel the wave of humidity wash over you. It was gross, but you needed to find Jeongguk. The club was a lot bigger than you remembered and you end up forgetting which direction the main bar is. All the walking was making your heel clad feet begin to ache. You just wanted to take them off and go barefoot, but the floors of this place were probably filthy.

You end up finding an empty table to lean against for a moment and pull out your phone…which you realize you left with Jeongguk since you had no pockets. Great. You decide to just wait and let him find you himself; you knew he would come for you eventually.

And as you’re waiting for Jeongguk to show up, you listen to the music. All the songs that play are some that you know well, until one comes on that you’ve never heard of before. Despite being a clear dance song, it has a certain aesthetic quality and you love it. The production is done well and must have taken a while to create. The words of the song are also quite deep and you really feel the emotions coming from the singers. You can’t really tell who the artist is, since it has a vocalist and a rapper, but you were sure it was someone you have heard of before.

But before you can try to guess the singers, it ends and you make a mental note to search it up later when you get home.

“And that ladies and gents was the newest single from our very own Suga!” You hear someone shout that through the speakers and immediately your body goes rigid despite the cheers from the crowds.

It was no secret how famous Suga has gotten over the last few months. Ever since the drop of his album, he has topped every music chart there is. You can’t even begin to recall how many times his album sold out at the store, people leaving empty-handed and disappointed.

And with this newfound popularity, you now saw his face everywhere.

Every billboard had his face plastered on it and every other television commercial was him. It was like you couldn’t escape his presence at all. But seeing this new Suga person all over the place didn’t feel like Yoongi to you all.

Suga was just another pop star to you. And as if the universe was playing games with you, you begin to hear his voice.

“…It’s nothing, really. It was a project I’ve been working on the moment I went to Seoul.”

That’s when it hits you—the musician who is here tonight at the club is none other than Yoongi himself. The thought nearly makes you throw up. You figured he would spend the rest of his days in Seoul, working on music and doing concerts. The last thing you expected was for him to show up here again, a place where the two of you used to hang out.

Why did he come back?

Why was he here?

You can’t see his face anywhere, but it was his voice—you’d know it anywhere. You nearly want to punch yourself for not recognizing his voice in the song. But perhaps time made you less tuned to him.

Even though you didn’t know where Yoongi was in the club, he was close and you could feel your body begin to shake. His voice gets closer and closer and you realize it’s coming from in front of you.

So you tilt your head down, hoping he doesn’t see you.

You haven’t given Min Yoongi much time or thought these last few months and you really didn’t want to start now. Besides, you haven’t thought about what you’d say if you ever saw him again because you never thought you would see him again. But your body betrays you and as he begins to walk in your line of sight, you look up and meet his gaze immediately.

Whatever he was saying ceases and his entire facial expression changes.

A year changes a person. So, imagine how much someone could change in almost two years. Yoongi was no exception to that fact. His once dark hair that you remembered so well was a shade of pink now, practically glowing underneath the lights. The way he carried himself was different too; he was confident now, standing tall and dressed from head to toe like a true star.

You wish, more than anything, that you could read his mind. What was he thinking? Did he see how much you had changed too?

“Y/n,” he’s the first to say anything, taking a step closer to you. The people he was with tell him that they’ll catch him before the nights done and walk away. You wanted to yell for them to come back and take him away; you didn’t want to talk.

He walks until he is standing a foot away from you, and everything feels surreal. And your heart—your stupid, stupid heart—is beating so fast.

“Hey,” he says, “how have you been?”

You just look up at him, not understanding why he’s trying to talk to you. But you tell him that you’re doing well and there is obvious surprise in his eyes. “Why? Didn’t think I could be happy?”

He shakes his head, “Of course not; you deserve to be happy, y/n. I just…I just didn’t think I’d see you here tonight.”

“Just because you left for Seoul doesn’t mean I did,” and you don’t know what’s happening, but a dam seems to break inside of you. “And literally what the hell; how dare you have the nerve to ask how I’m doing and act surprised that I’m here tonight. You haven’t talked to me for almost two years, Yoongi. Two years.”

“Y/n…”

“Do you even know…” you can feel the tears starting to fill your eyes. “Fuck. I was doing great Yoongi, and seeing you here again has reminded me of everything I tried to forget.”

You were getting louder and starting to cause a scene. People were staring and probably wondering why a girl like you was talking to Suga—Seoul’s hottest rapper. Yoongi must notice all the stares too because he suddenly grabs your wrist and pulls you off the table, and drags you away. You try to resist him, but his hold on you is strong and he doesn’t stop until he reaches a secluded area of the club. It’s a dimly lit hallway with some posters adorning the walls.

“Let go of me,” you jerk your hand away from him and he releases it.

“I think we need to talk, y/n.”

You nearly laugh at his words, “I don’t want to talk to you.”

“What were you trying to say back there?” he asks, ignoring you.

He was never going to let this go and you hated yourself for letting emotions cloud your judgment. You think about everything that’s happened over the last two years. When Yoongi left, you seriously thought that your life was over. You don’t even remember how many sleepless nights you had, wishing that he would just call you. Thinking about how sad your life was back then hurts.

“When you left I…why didn’t you call?” you can hear your own voice breaking. “Why didn’t you text? Or something?”

He rakes a hand through his hair, “I don’t know…”

“Do you know how long I waited?”

Yoongi looks at you as a tear falls down your face. You quickly swipe it away, clearing your throat. As bad as he had fucked your life over, there was a light at the end of the tunnel—Jeongguk. Although he was no Yoongi, he made you feel almost normal again. You weren’t kidding when you said that he saved you.

You think about Jeongguk and his endearing smile, realizing he must be so worried about you. “I’m happy now—happier than when you were around,” you tell him, and he winces at the words.

“Why didn’t you wait a little longer?” the question slips so softly out of Yoongi’s mouth you almost didn’t hear it. You look at him confused; what did even mean?

“I don’t know; guess I got tired of waiting.”

At this point, you’ve backed yourself against one side of the hall and Yoongi’s at the other. But with your answer, he closes the gap between the two of you. He’s so close you can feel his breath fan your hair. You swallow nervously, the hallway suddenly feeling too hot.

“I’m sorry,” he says and your hands tighten into fists. “For hurting you and not calling. I fucked up, y/n. Please forgive me?”

“That’s all you can say? You want me to forgive you for not calling?” You look into his eyes. “I wish you would apologize for making me love you.”

Where your words came from, you had no idea. But even you’re shocked that they came out at all. Yoongi seems equally, or more, shocked that you brought up the conversation the two of you had years ago. “You still…you love me?”

You advert your eyes from him. He probably thinks you’re foolish to still love him. After all, he did reject you. Yoongi probably thought you were some sad case to still feel this way about him despite how much time has passed already.

“I don’t know,” you say, looking down. “I’ve moved on, I really have, but I think…I think a part of me will always love you.”

“Y/n,” he says your name and you muster a bit of courage to look up.

“You don’t have to say anything. You don’t owe me words,” a sigh leaves your mouth. “I still remember that night in your apartment when you told me that you didn’t feel the same way. I thought I had grown past that moment already. I—”

But before you can go on about how stupid you are, Yoongi brings his arms up to cage you between the wall and him. You let out a shaky breath at his sudden closeness.

“You talk too much,” he says, voice low. “You always have.”

Your nerves are too bundled up to laugh at his comment.

Instead, you ask, “Why are you here tonight?”

“Seoul’s amazing, but I’ve missed home…and you.”

The way Yoongi looks at you leaves you at a loss for words. He missed you? Although his words made your heart pulse a little faster, you tried not to be too happy. Even if he did miss you, he never called and that was a fact you still couldn’t let go.

“I doubt that,” you say.

“I mean it, y/n,” he pounds a fist against the wall and you’re startled for a moment. “Shit. Sorry.”

You blow some air out of your lungs, “Look, Yoongi…I don’t have time for this.”

As you tell him this, the look in his eyes becomes desperate. Yoongi begs you to stay as you attempt to move away from his body. And when you nudge his arms away, they just grab onto your wrists.

“Yoongi,” you say, struggling. “Let me go.”

And he does let your wrists go, only to replace them with his lips on yours.

For a moment, you’re frozen; the kiss is quick and ends before you can say anything at all. Yoongi pulls away and breathes heavily before you. You try to find words to say, but nothing comes out.

“Kiss me again,” you say after an eternity of silence and he doesn’t hesitate.

You’re lost in the feeling of his lips against yours. He pushes you against the wall, pressing his body firmly against yours. Yoongi’s hands grab your face, your hair, your waist—he can’t keep his hands off of you. And everywhere that he touches leaves a searing burn.

This was what you have been waiting for since you confessed all those years ago. You should be ecstatic and beyond joyful. Kissing Yoongi is all you’ve ever wanted and it is happening right now. You moan into his lips as he presses himself even closer to you, so close you can feel every ridge of him through your dress.

You’ve imagined kissing him since forever, and it’s even better than every fantasy you’ve ever had.

So why did you feel so bad?

You begin to feel tears pool underneath your closed eyes. When Yoongi feels a tear hit his fingers, he pulls away. “Hey…what’s wrong?”

“I can’t do this,” you whisper.

“Y/n…”

“I’m sorry.” As you say this, you untangle yourself from him and run. You run back out into the crowd of people and look back to see that Yoongi, although staring right at you, hasn’t moved an inch. He didn’t come after you; he never would.

You feel disappointment gnaw at your insides, but you suddenly jump when a hand comes to rest on your shoulder. Looking up with wide eyes, you immediately relax when you realize it’s just Jeongguk.

“I’ve been looking for you. Where did you go?” he asks surveying your face, and his mouth tightens when he notices you’ve been crying. “What happened?”

You wipe you face, “Nothing. I’m okay.” Liar; you were anything but okay. “Can we just go?”

Jeongguk nods and presses a kiss to your forehead, placing a hand on the small of your back to lead you out. As the two of you get closer and closer to the entrance doors, you sneak a look behind and notice that Yoongi hasn’t stopped looking at you.

When you realize this, you quickly turn back around. Even from across the club, his eyes manage to make you feel too much. And you hate it. The power he still has over you almost makes you sick.

That night, when you and Jeongguk return to your apartment, he makes love to you—just like you had promised him earlier. You try your best to be into it, but your hearts not and you just hope he doesn’t notice the less than thrilled orgasm you fake. After the two of you are done, he falls asleep with his arms spooning you from behind. His touch is comforting, but you can’t fall asleep.

A single thought keeps you awake: Yoongi kissed you and you let him. And you don’t know how to feel or what to even begin thinking.

All you know was that it felt like you were transported back to square one.

[minghaoss-archive]

Would you ever reupload mars? I was just wondering because I read it when you rb'ed it and I thought it was sad that you were taking it down bc of how people reacted to it. It was still beautifully written and I'm so glad I caught it in time🖤🖤🖤. people are the ones in charge of their own experience online and if something is tagged,, why make a fuss? Just avoid it and realise fiction and real life aren't the same thing.

Oh they didnt really complain about mars for the sake of complaining about mars, they did it because it's the 'same thing' as jaehyun being referred to as a fuckboy irl. 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 So apparently i cant write mars + defend jh because that makes me a hypocrite. Sksks Let's not get into that. I'm not going to re-upload mars because i dont want to bother people, i want to write and be happy!!!!!!!! True. I agree with you. Thank you, this means a lot. 💘💘💘💘

[tachipaws]

Ok sorry for the bitchy tone rn but I'm so fucking tired of this excuse from reposters.

If you can't trace an image back to the source, why would you further contribute to the confusion and repost it even more?????

The image in question that this caption was under even had my username on it, plain as day. All my social media usernames are the same thing, I'm not hard to find. And this is a repost account I've dealt with before, so I know they know me. It's just insulting and downright lazy at this point. I am offended, and I have every right to be. The time spent adding this caption, and this was only a fraction of it, could have been spent actually looking for where it came from instead of being another save and repost attention grabber.

When you run a repost account you cannot pick and choose who you source. You either credit everyone, or you shut down your fucking account bc you're just making it easier for everyone else who doesn't bother at all. If you can't find the original source of an image, don't share it! Nothing bad will happen if you refrain from reposting that one image! Find something else that's easily sourced! And ask for the permission to post it from the owner while you're at it!

Y'all act like you're working a job or something and it's getting really old. You aren't required to repost content. You're all doing it for the same bottom-line reason: posting content, especially artwork and graphics, is the easiest way to gain notes and followers. Being the source has more payoff than spreading from the source.

As a stay-at-home parent I have hardly any time from one day to the next to even work on my edits. I won't even be able to fully participate in ichiruki month as it is because I can't sit at my computer for hours on end when I'm home with my kids all day. To see what little work I can put out do so poorly here and then blow up on instagram, to see someone who just saved my work and reuploaded it praised for all the hard work I put into it, is fucking heartbreaking and makes me want to just wipe my WIP folder and skip the whole event. Why bother doing anything if these people can just swipe away all the credit with a few clicks.

Reposting kills people's passion, kills our inspiration. For all you gain in notes and followers, you lose in people to steal from in the first place. When people repost without credit, the whole fandom suffers, right back down to the reposters at the bottom.

[disloyaltykpop]

I Don’t Forgive You

Pairing: Reader x Namjoon

Word Count: 1.7k+

Genre: Angst

 → Synopis: After years of being together, a lie is uncovered that could potentially ruin your relationship with Namjoon forever.

A/N: This is a reupload from personal blog (car-oo-uhl) which I converted to here and edited bc I wanted to make a separate blog for writing purposes. 

There’s something that clings onto you whenever you love someone. It’s a four letter word called hope. It sticks to you like gum against your favorite jeans when you unintentionally touch it from underneath a desk. No matter how hard you try to get it rid of it, it doesn’t come off. Hope doesn’t leave. But there comes a time when you just take a step back and let it be. There’s nothing more you can do to take it off.

       I guess that was where the first problem came to be. We tried so hard to ignore the clear issue at hand like it was no problem, and it slowly became to eat away at us … well at me. Then there were the the constant rumors of him being with other girls. I’d get insecure and barely speak to him, he’d get mad and start arguing. It was a cycle that we’d sadly gotten too familiar with and there wasn’t a way to fix it except exchange ‘I’m sorries’ and pretend like it never happened. But they did happen, and they did hurt me. 

I continued to have that feeling at the very bottom of my gut though, that nasty thought that he could possibly be … unfaithful. But I always pushed it aside thinking it was me being unreasonable. Namjoon was a hardworking guy with a stressful job that barely left him with time for his own. So whenever he did come home, I never wanted to make a big fuss about how lonely I was feeling lately, or how I wanted to do something, anything since we hadn’t had any time together. I never thought he had the time to do such a thing since he barely even had time to be with me.

Then a picture arose. 

It was probably one of the most cliche and careless ways of uncovering such a way of betrayal which was one of the reasons why I found myself denying it.

He isn’t like that. He would never do something like that especially after all this time and effort we put to be together.

Over and over I tried to convince herself the same things. I thought the way that the girl’s arms were wrapped around his neck while his were around her waist as their faces were centimeters from touching was a sick joke or maybe one of the edits that fans loved to make so much. I didn’t want to believe the wanting look Namjoon shared with the girl, the interest and possible love he had for someone that wasn’t me. He promised me he wouldn’t. He told me he loved me too much to hurt me like that.

Does he?

It was only a matter of time before the truth finally surfaced. It was always there really, but I was always in denial mainly for my own sake.

Ten o’clock hit, and I was finally snuggled into the warm sheets that Namjoon and I once shared. He usually called or would FaceTime just so we could exchange our “I love you’s” and good nights before going to sleep, and in this case it was my turn. It was something we had grown accustomed to far before we had gotten into something serious. Yet the irritation grew within me as time passed, and he didn’t call. I was trying to be as understanding as possible, but lately he was sending short-answered text messages. Sometimes he wouldn’t even reply at all until hours later where he would apologize with an excuse that only made me roll my eyes from how ridiculous it sounded at this point. 

I wasn’t asking for a lot. I didn’t blow up his phone or make a big deal out of things because I both didn’t want to become that clingy, obnoxious girlfriend that suffocated her boyfriend, and I definitely didn’t want to bother him while he was working.

Babe I’m literally about to fall asleep 😩  we haven’t talked all day and I just want to say a quick goodnight

I waited ten agonizingly slow minutes waiting for a response, but there was none. Although he had read the message which only fueled my anger and irritation more. In no time, I quickly clicked onto the FaceTime icon and waited for him to answer. It was half past midnight here in Seoul meaning that it was somewhere past noon where he was considering the fact that he was in New York where we shared a thirteen hour time difference. 

“Finally.” I muttered to herself as he finally answered. “Namjoon why haven’t you-”

“Is there any reason that you’re calling my boyfriend?” A voice that was definitely not Namjoon’s asked rudely. 

Did I just hear those words correctly? Did she just call my boyfriend hers while she’s naked under a sheet in his room and on his phone?

I couldn’t even talk as I tried to take in what had just happened. Had he really … what? 

The call dropped after that. I hadn’t even realized I ended it since the imagine of her was implanted in my brain. My phone blew up shortly after that with messages and calls all from him. He wanted to explain what occurred only moments ago, but was there really an explanation for that? And she called him her boyfriend.

Oh God, this wasn’t some one time hookup. 

I felt sick to my stomach, and my nerves turned into knots. My feet sprung into action and bolted towards the bathroom emptying all contents from my stomach.

He was talking to her for weeks, months maybe. Had he been talking to her the same amount time he was with me?

Three years; three years we spent together and for what? For it to just end like this? I gave him my everything. I told him every secret I had and opened up to him like I never had with anyone else. He was my best friend, my other half. He was there for me when I moved here and didn’t so much as understood the language here.

The familiar rings from calls and messages echoed throughout the room as it sat vibrating beside me. By now, Hoseok and Yoongi had joined along with Namjoon to spam it. Had they known about what Namjoon was doing?

There was no doubt that they had. They weren’t just group members, but practically brothers who told each other everything. 

“Hey are you-”

“Is it true?” I asked my voice breaking as I spoke. I hadn’t even realized I accepted the call, but at this point I didn’t care. “Is Namjoon …”

I couldn’t even finish the sentence. The reality of the situation was sinking in, and quite frankly I didn’t know how to handle it.

“I don’t think I should be the one answering that y/n.” Yoongi responded, but that answer was more than enough to confirm it all.

There were muffled voices in the background, and that’s when I heard him, Namjoon. “Let me talk to her.”

“I don’t think that’s the greatest idea right now.”

“I need to talk to her Yoongi! She’s my girlfriend-”

It hurt too much to think about him let alone hear him. Nothing could justify his actions for him doing what he did, and I don’t think I could ever forgive him for it. 

Please just talk to me

Just let me know you’re safe

I can’t lose you y/n

I’m sorry

The messages went on and on for days from him, but not once did I respond. And then I heard the front door open, and I just knew it was him. With every step that he took, my chest tightened, and it grew harder to breathe. My vision blurred with tears that I didn’t even bother to hold back anymore, and my lips quivered as I tried to hold back the sobs.

“Y/n . .” He trailed off as he stopped in his tracks once he entered the room. My attention was towards my fumbling hands as tears fell onto them. I couldn’t meet his eyes. It would break my already broken heart even more if I had.

“Why did you do this me?” I breathed out as I hiccuped a breath. And just like that, all my insecurities began to unravel. “Was I not good enough? Did I not make you happy?” 

“What? No, no, no.” He breathed out and ran up to me. He cupped my face in his hands before continuing. “It wasn’t - I don’t why I … I never meant to hurt you. I’m sorry.” If it weren’t for the fact that the evidence was clear, maybe I would’ve stupidly believed him.

A whimper left my lips, and I hated how pathetic and weak I sounded. But I was too hurt to feel anything else.

“I don’t forgive you.” I responded as I finally brought myself to look at him and pulled his hands away from my face. Tears welled his eyes as he shook his head. His breathing grew heavy and quickened a bit at the words that had just left my lips.

His vision faltered to the packed bags and suitcases that lied alongside the dresser in front of our bed. “Baby please, just don’t leave. We can fix this. I know we can.”

“I can’t trust you Namjoon.” I told him as I wiped my tears. “And trust is basically what makes up a relationship, so if I can’t trust you,” Honestly, I couldn’t even believe the words spurring out of my mouth. The gravity of the situation was all sinking in, and I wanted out. Call me whatever, but I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t stand here and look him in the eyes. I could never look at him the same way as before no matter how much he loved, because by the end of the day, love unfortunately was not enough. It wasn’t enough to keep Namjoon’s affection to be towards me and only me. It wasn’t enough to keep us happy after all this time and effort we spent. It wasn’t enough to prevent those lonely nights I spent crying miles away from him while he was perfectly content in another woman’s arms. It wasn’t enough to save this relationship.

“No y/n.” He shook his head, refusing to let me finish my sentence. “Please don’t do this.” The tears were falling from his eyes, and even though it shouldn’t have hurt, it did. I was angry, but the pain in my heart was much greater than the anger boiling my blood.

“Then we can’t be together.”