#rewriting

[incorrect-riordanverse]

ares cabin the type to only have peace with each other when its 12am and they conglomerate in the kitchen for midnight snacks

[rewrite-canon]

im going crazy with how people are starting to agree with snow that sejanus was really stupid and deserved what was coming to him. reading the books first should be a pre requisite to the movie idcccc if that takes away the wider audience, the wider audience all have smooth brains anyway.

“why was he colluding with rebels when he could’ve just thought about it pragmatically 🙄” i’m in your fucking walls. sejanus was never dumb, snow just kept pushing that perception of him through the book to deflect the fact that sejanus was an actual good person. snow thought himself the personification of good and benevolence, which was why everything he did had to have some half-assed excuse as to why he was justified in doing it. it was why he was actually tweaking in the woods when lucy gray left him, because he wanted to rid himself of her but he didn’t have an actual reason so he convinced himself of the most random scenario ever to justify trying to shoot at her. so we can establish that snow was an evil broke boy who clearly wasn’t good— then sejanus was a direct confrontation of snow’s own shortcomings towards that (i don’t think i have to detail how sejanus was genuine, it was obvious). coriolanus and sejanus are like the direct opposite characters of each other, and snow knew and took pride in this to an extent. which is why snow couldn’t admit that sejanus was good to himself, thus sejanus was deemed ‘stupid’ to protect his own deluded self actualisation (but this also includes other aspects like how the war made the plinths rich and the snows poor, leading to resentment and jealousy from snow).

“but that still didn’t mean he wasn’t doing dumb things throughout the book” was it really that dumb? a rebellion will always include some level of risk but i don’t hear anyone calling heavensbee stupid because it actually worked out for him. plus sejanus is district, so if we use our common sense of who he is as a character and emotional intelligence of his situation, it’s pretty easy to see why he would get in touch with rebels. he’s literally always yearned for the districts, he never once cared about his money or safety, which isn’t stupid, it’s sad. this was his way of dealing with the guilt of profiting from his people’s suffering— again, not stupid. you could argue he was reckless, especially when he went into the arena, but most people who simply cast him as a ‘dumb character’ ignore how troubled he is and fall into the very filtered lens of snow who was just concentrating on his stupidity.

sejanus’ growing radical actions had nothing to do with stupidity and everything to do with feeling helpless and like nothing was changing. he tried minor/low-risk things such as attempting to change the perception of the districts in the capitol, advocating against the hunger games etc etc. of course it didn’t work, so his options grew limited to more radical courses of action. its a natural line of thought— activists literally do it in real life when they feel as if their cause isn’t getting enough attention (eg. setting themselves on fire). sejanus is a desperate character who is so selfless in light of snow’s constant self-preservation. snow will always put himself first and be paranoid that he will be betrayed like he’s betrayed others, so he never understands sejanus’ disposition to help and trust people, so he labels him dumb. omg. like. sejanus is so not-stupid i’m actually gonna start freaking out!! this is defamatory leave my boo alone!! plz go read a book and work on media literacy i am begging!!!

[rewritingcanon]

lily clocked james so bad with her ‘toerag’ comment he had to go on a whole redemption arc can we talk about that

[wings-of-sapphire]

HELLO THERE LOVES I MADE A WISH REWRITE

I watched Wish twice (once on early screening day and once on the offices release date) and I fuckin loved it. But I feel like while this was a great movie, it was Disney’s 100th anniversary one and it needed like twenty minutes more or so to develop the characters and make it a truly spectacular celebration of 100 years of Disney.

I recently read about the concept pictures for Wish— Asha being the daughter of Magnifico, Star taking a human form and having a relationship with Asha— and I liked the idea of changing up the “quirky main character” idea as well. Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with girls like Rapunzel or Mirabel. They’re fun, they’re optimistic, they’re hardworking and determined. Buuuuut as more of a pessimist myself I found my favorite character to be Gabo. The short pink sarcastic side friend based off of Grumpy. Yes, the friends are based off of the seven dwarfs. But ANYHOW— I thought maybe a return to the Classic Disney Princess attitude would be nice. So I chose Kusco. Because he’s the best Disney Princess out there.

I’ve been rambling long enough. Full rewrite under the cut! Will explain more in future posts! Ask any and all questions you’d like! Now, presenting my Wish rewrite~

💫 Asha is the princess of the kingdom of Rosas. Her parents, Magnifico and Amaya, built Rosas after Magnifico’s old kingdom was burned by greedy Wishers who used magic to give them whatever they wanted, which led to their own destruction.

Asha grew up in her kingdom learning that because her father kept the magic in check and only he granted wishes, Rosas could stay safe and happy. Asha gives tours of the city to people who sail in, and as they give their wishes to Magnifico, Rosas grows stronger and safer.

Welcome to Rosas

(Though she’s on carpets and stuff and there’s servants swarming her and she’s comfortable while giving the tour— we see Asha being kind to the child of the tour group)

Asha puts on a happy face for the tourists. But the people of Rosas say they know the “real” her. They hate their princess, truthfully. But they love her parents.

Asha doesn’t really have friends. She’s above that. She’s a princess and her parents founded this kingdom that literally granted people’s wishes. Sure, she sometimes lingers in the kitchen to hang out with Dahlia, the head chef. And sure, sometimes she wished wanted to hang out with them. Dahlia and her six friends whom Asha could never remember the names of. She calls them nicknames based on their characteristics. Easy and efficient. Dahlia is Doc, since she always patches her friends up. She said Asha couldn’t call her friend Stoner, so his name is Dopey (Dario). There’s Happy (Hal), Sleepy (Simon), Sneezy (Safi), Bashful (Bazeema), and Grumpy (Gabo). They’re all close-knit and trust each other with everything.

Asha doesn’t have that.

But she’s their princess. And she remains that way. Untouchable. Unbreakable.

Until one day, Grumpy Gabo says she’s not above them for any reason other than her title. That if ranks were stripped away, she’d be talentless and left behind.

Of course Asha can’t have that.

Soooooo she sneaks into her father’s study to get some of his magic.

What? He has a ton of it.

But then stuff goes awry. Asha tampers with Magnifico’s forbidden books and… nothing happens.

Grumpy laughs at her and Asha threatens to have him imprisoned if he doesn’t treat his princess with respect. Dahlia and the gang stand up for Grumpy and Asha storms off.

Amaya tries to comfort Asha when she runs to her room and throws herself on her bed and cries, princess-style, and Amaya and Asha talk about how Asha dreams of a group of friends she can have fun with and trust, and Asha says her brain knows what her wish was, and it was to become the most powerful sorceress princess in the lands just like her papa. Amaya says that a dream is a wish your heart makes, and Asha’s heart didn’t want to be the untouchable princess of Rosas. Her head may tell her that, but everyone needs connections.

 It’s Magnifico that ends up cheering Asha up by bringing her to see the wishes of Rosas again.

At All Costs

Asha calls Magnifico “Papa” and Amaya “Mama” by the way

That night, Asha tosses and turns, and we see the magic swirls from the book start to gather around her, then shoots into the sky as she shoots up, panting.

Turns out she accidentally ripped a star out of the sky. Asha runs after the giant comet fall, where a young man is floating in a crater in the forest.

The star had taken the shape of a young man. Who can fly. And bring objects to life for a bit.

He’s glowing yellow and wears a dark teal-blue velvet cape and his glow turns pink when he spots Asha.

When Asha freaks out and grabs the boy— she’s calling him Star— and hides his glow with her pajama cloak, and asks how the heck did this happen?

Star shrugs and says he was just chilling in space when the force of someone’s dream pulled him down to land.

Asha quietly excitedly stims, saying she can’t wait to rub Star in Grumpy’s face, and Star is like please don’t rub me in someone’s face, sweetheart.

Sweetheart?

Asha glares at Star, who smirks.

Asha exclaims that anyways— she knew she was a powerful sorceress, and Star says he senses no magic on Asha.

Asha says she must’ve had magic in her, or else how could she have ripped a star from the sky?

Star says people can learn magic but right now, Asha was inexperienced. It was probably because of her connection to the stars.

That means—

No, it’s not just you. All people are connected to the stars.

You’re a Star

Asha takes Star back to her room and says they can’t let her dad know she used his books to summon Star— but maybe Grumpy would need more proof. Maybe she could sneak a peek at his book again, and summon more stars to prove to Doc and the gang that she has talent and she was sooooo qualified to be their fr— sorcerer princess.

She tells Star to stay put in her room, and she’d sneak out and take a quick look.

Star asks if he can come with.

He just got ripped from the sky and needs some more exposition than “I don’t know.” And he’s too impatient to wait for Asha to come back.

Asha says he’ll have to learn and Star magically locks the doors until Asha explains something about how he was brought here.

“You made trees dance the hula and we rode here on a singing deer.”

Star gives Asha a look.

Asha pinches the bridge of her nose and explains that her papa’s whole family was killed because of the greedy wishmakers. With him in charge, he gets to choose, and people are safe.

Star says that the people deserve more, and Asha snaps that get family decides what everyone deserves because they’re the rulers of Rosas.

Star smirks at her and says she’s adorable when she’s mad. But, she’s wrong. The people deserve a chance to get their wishes returned so they can become dreams that can be achieved by pure hard work.

Asha says they’re the same thing, and Star shakes his head. “A wish you give away. A dream you keep with you to work hard and achieve your heart’s goal.”

“Wow, you have a great personality.”

Asha rolls her eyes and says Star can come, but he has to be quiet.

In Magnifico’s study, Asha sees Star heading to the wish room, and before she can grab him, he opens the doors and sees the wishes of Rosas.

Star is amazed and Asha sighs and walks up next to them. She looks up and closes her eyes and bathes in the feeling.

“They’re beautiful, aren’t they?”

“Yeah… they are.”

Star quickly turns to look at the wishes above them, his glow pink.

They end up arguing again because Star wants to return the wishes to the people so they can become dreams once again and Asha says her father worked hard on protecting them

Out in the hallways, Asha ends up shoving Star into a nearby room when she hears Doc and her friends come by

Asha smooths down her skirt and holds her head high as she walks by and calls to Grumpy. She smirks and says unfortunately, they were incorrect about her being talentless. In fact, she was so powerful, she ripped a star from the sky.

Behold.

She opens the door (which turns out led to the chicken coops) where Star was chilling in the sunlight where his glow looked normal.

“You brought us all here to check out your boyfriend?”

“Hal!”

Asha rushes to explain that no, Happy, he was the star. She orders Star to step out of the sun.

Star crosses his arms.

“No.”

“Excuse me?”

Dahlia and her friends all gasp and start planning Star’s funeral.

“Sorry, sweetheart, I’m a star. If you ever want your dream to come to fruition you have to be nice to people you want to befriend. Go on. Apologize and then ask me nicely.”

Dahlia and friends are now forgoing that funeral, there will be no remains left to bury.

But then Asha flares her nostrils, taps her foot, then glances at Doc. She averts her eyes and mutters, “sorry for being mean to Grumpy. Star, can you… can you please show them?”

Jaws: dropped. Wigs: snatched. Princess Asha of Rosas, apologizing and saying “please”? Sure, she cared for her people. But she never apologized if she accidentally ran into someone for walking in their way! It was her way! She was the only one who’s way mattered!

Star smiled and thanked Asha, then steps out of the sun to reveal his glow.

Jaws: even dropped-er. Wigs: even snatched-er.

After the initial “ooh”s, [something something]

Asha tells everyone that because she’s a star, she was able to be this powerful. They should all be impressed.

Star then corrects her by saying everyone was made of stardust and therefore had a connection to the stars and magic.

When Gabo laughs, Asha throws a fork at him and tells him to do that to himself.

Magnifico is calling Asha for a family meeting, and she says it’s probably about tonight’s wish ceremony. Dario’s Sabi who’s turning 100 today wants to get his wish picked. He doesn’t remember what it is as all wish-givers forget, but he knows it has something to do with his sickness. Asha tells everyone else to keep quiet about Star, or else. And with that, she leaves the room.

Star opens his arms and asks which of the group wants to help him commit a crime.

“What?”

He wants to break into Magnifico’s study and return the wishes to the people of Rosas.

Gabo snaps at him that they can’t just steal from the king and queen, and everyone else agrees. But Dahlia purses her lips. “Why?”

Dario asks if he wants to betray his girlfriend like that, to which Star turns pink and rolled his eyes saying they were not dating, in fact, they were enemies! She was uptight and didn’t care about anything but her title, scoff!

“Uh huh. Sure, buddy.”

“Gabo, stop talking.”

“Yes Bazeema.”

Star explains that losing people’s wishes made them lose a part of themselves. The most beautiful part, their heart’s dream. He tells Simon that his heart is sad.

He asks that if he returns Simon’s wish back to him, and it does make him whole again, then would they believe him?

Dahlia shakes her head and says they wouldn’t be part of this. But… they wouldn’t mention anything to Magnifico or Amaya. For the time being.

Star thanks Dahlia, and she says this was for Simon. And if Asha also changes her mind, then that’s a bonus. Then she smiles. “Good luck, kid.”

Magnifico called Asha to talk with her and Amaya about a threat that’s happened to the kingdom. Last night, someone harnessed the magic of a star and ripped it from the sky, which disturbed the wishes and his magic. Someone has threatened him, and this was a warning that something was to come. He couldn’t let that fire happen again.

Amaya and Asha calm his worries, and Magnifico says he doesn’t want the people to lose faith in him. Amaya says she will explain to the people about the giant light last night since they were asking questions, but they shouldn’t let it worry them.

“Thank you, darling.”

“You’ve got this, papa. I’m sure whoever bashed that light meant you no harm.”

“Thank you, Asha.”

Star asks Asha to spend the day with him, to which she agrees until the wish ceremony that night. The two have a day in Rosas, Tangled-style. Romantic montage, beautiful moments, Star sneaking glances at Asha when she isn’t looking and Asha doing the same for him.

Star shows Asha how to be messy and see the beauties of life while Asha shows Star how she actually does have good in her and cares for her people, truly. Star gives Asha a small wand to practice some small magic as a gift. While she shows him the study, he sneaks into Magnifico’s office and steals Simon’s wish.

Star returns to the seven and gives Simon back his wish. His dream was to become the kingdom’s best knight— and now he could achieve that! They show Asha how much happier Simon is with his whole self again, and while Asha is happy for Simon and that the seven are being kind to her (after she’s been kind to them), she asks Star to promise not to steal stuff from her papa without running it by her first.

“I promise, sweetheart.”

Safi asks Asha if she can get her papa to grant his Sabi’s wish, or at least return it so he could have a chance at fulfilling his dream like Simon now can. Maybe it would reveal a way Sabino could live longer.

Asha hesitates.

In her room, Asha paces. Her papa said that if people kept their wishes, they’d be dangerous and bring another fire to burn down their kingdom. But Simon seemed so happy. She didn’t know what to do.

Later, in the wish ceremony, all her friends are happy and excited for Safi’s Sabi. Sabino only has a few weeks left to live, and if this month his wish is granted, Safi can keep his Sabi with him.

Asha did talk to Magnifico but Amaya reminded her of the dangers of people chasing wishes in the wind. They showed Asha that Sabi Sabino’s wish was too dangerous, his heart’s dream was live forever. Sure, he was sick now, but once he gets better from that, who knows what immortality will do? Magnifico revealed the true story of their home using magical glass shards—

Backstory details that’s tragic and sad

Basically a king wanted to be immortal and it led to him going insane which led to the destruction of his kingdom

He sent his son away before the whole place burned to ashes

Magnifico was that son

A Wish Worth Making (?)

Asha agrees with him that that can never happen, and Sabino’s wish must never be granted and only the royal family can keep Rosas safe.

At the ceremony

Magnifico doesn’t grant Sabino’s wish and Amaya makes a public statement about how wishes were kept with him to stay safe and anyone who tried to oppose that rule was a danger to everyone in Rosas and a traitor to the crown.

Star calls them out for this and while Simon hides his glow with his huge body, the seven create a ripple effect through the crowd with questions that question the king and queen’s authority. They bring up how Amaya reassured them but this contradicted her words. Magnifico ends the ceremony and storms up to the royal master room with Amaya.

Asha and Star have an argument, with her saying her parents were good people and him saying that Safi’s Sabi will die because her parents were scared, and with that Asha flares her nostrils and says that she is the princess, and as their superior, they should watch their tone before something bad happens.

Safi is heartbroken. Without that wish, his Sabi will die.

Dahlia comforts him, and Star steels himself.

Star tells the group that they’re going to steal all the wishes. And return the dreams of the people back to them. Especially Safi’s Sabi.

“But Asha—“

“I’ll tell her when she comes back. We need to do this now.”

Back at the castle, Magnifico is pacing angrily in his room with Amaya. How dare these people question them? They’re doing everything in their power to prevent that (points to a burned tapestry of young Magnifico and his family) from happening again!

This is the Thanks I Get?!

Amaya also joins in

Cutscenes of the seven + Star breaking into the wish room again

Meanwhile, Asha goes back to talk to her parents. Maybe talk to them about Sabino again, maybe tell them everything, who knows—

Wait. There’s a noise in the wish room.

Asha uses her magic wand to open it and sees Star using his magic to lift the roof open to free the wishes. But it isn’t enough. They need more people; the roof is too heavy.

There’s a small magic scuffle with Asha and her wand against Star and his magic, and Asha ends up beating Star (much to his surprise and he’s totally not turned on by this which is why he’s bright red he’s not at all attracted to powerful women). Her heart breaks and she yells at him and all the seven and says if they ever show their faces around her again she’d banish them from Rosas.

“Sweet—“

“Don’t call me that name! Just— just go!”

“Asha, please. Safi’s Sabi—

“Go!”

Star stays and says he’ll be back to free the wishes and return them to the people. Sabino’s sickness has gotten worse, and he can’t wait another month for Magnifico to turn him down once again.

Asha snaps and yells at him a lot and blames him for everything that’s happened lately, the chickens, and the chalk drawing, and the dancing in the city square, and especially that sticky feeling in her chest when Star’s giving her those sad looks. So she doesn’t want to see him again.

She goes to snitch then sees the Epic Celestial Villains her parents had shifted into. Both of them used forbidden magic in the other section of the book Asha used. She asked if she had forbidden magic in her too, but they tell her she wasn’t powerful enough to handle this magic.

Their magic swirling fog is telling them via shapes that Asha was the one that ripped a star from the sky.

They’re acting different— they barely acknowledge Asha and demand that she tells them where Star is.

They crushed wishes to give them power, and Asha is of course horrified.

She saw how happy Simon was, and now those people…

Her parents weren’t survivors.

They were just power-hungry.

And now this forbidden magic was changing them.

They demand Asha tells them where Star was so they could siphon his galaxy magic and become the supreme rulers of Rosas— no one would never question them again.

Asha tells them she doesn’t know, and Magnifico uses his magic fog on Asha to make her tell them that Sleepy, Grumpy, Happy, Dopey, Sneezy, and Doc probably did know.

Amaya tells Asha she was grounded. She says Asha should sit down in her room and wait for the new era to rise.

Asha runs back to her room and cries, princess-style, and speaks out to the sky, to Star, that he was right. He was telling the truth, her parents weren’t good. And now she didn’t know what to do.

This Wish

Yeah she says she’s the first to stand in line but she’s been told that all her life okay

Magnifico makes an announcement to the people of Rosas that the entity that came from the sky was named Star, and he, along with Simon, Gabo, Hal, Dario, Safi, and Bazeema were conspiring to commit treason. He says to find them all and get him Star’s powers do he can grant all of their wishes!

Asha runs after the seven and sees them arrested by other citizens, with Gabo cursing everyone out. Magnifico waves his hand and mutes Gabo. Asha commands the soldiers to give her the satisfaction of imprisoning these traitors and interrogates them in the carriage driving them to the prison with guards posted by. 

She asks all of them where Star was, and they refuse to listen to her. They’re cold because she sort of beat them up with her magic. She says as their princess, they have to tell her.

“You all are underneath me. I am your future queen. Tell me where Star is. This is important.” She turns to the shortest in the carriage. “My parents are looking for him. Gabo, if you know where he is, you have to tell me.”

Gabo’s eyes flicker up at her saying his actual name. He glances at Dahlia, who sighs. She says that even if they wanted to, they couldn’t hand Star over, because he was already gone. He was at the place Asha first starting falling in love with him.

The guards raise an eyebrow at Asha, and she says the fools were so simple-minded that they believed her lie. Then she tells Sabi to shut up and stop sneezing.

She says the forest was where she first found Star, and Magnifico creates a dark fog horse to ride out and find Star.

Once she’s sure he’s gone, Asha whips out her magic wand and blasts the doors open. She apologizes to the seven and says nothing could make up for imprisoning them and lording her title over them, but she needed their help to help Star.

Asha and the seven run back to the Rosas town square where Star is rallying the people and telling them the truth about Magnifico and Amaya. The crowd gathers to help pull open the roofs to free the wishes.

Knowing What I Know Now

Asha joins in and leads the people

Asha apologizes to Star for yelling at him and he apologizes to her for going behind her back. He says she deserved to know. Before they go, Asha tells Star to wait.

“That… feeling. That I mentioned before? I think… I think they’re feelings. For you.”

Star’s glow slightly turns pink. “Like, do you mean…”

“Yes. Feelings of affection. I just… wanted to let you know.”

“Sweetheart, you should know I feel the same. Have since I first laid eyes on you.”

“I am pretty beautiful.”

“The beautiful-est.”

Asha laughs. “That’s not a word.”

“She’s right, it’s not,” Dahlia quips.

The two pull back and laugh awkwardly.

The seven lead the people of Rosas to help lift the roofs, but Amaya catches them and there’s a magic battle where Amaya turns into a dragon a la Malifacent. Star helps Asha suck out the evil magic, and Amaya falls to the floor. The roof is opened, and the wishes began to flow out.

Then Star is grabbed from the back by a fog hand and Magnifico tuts, telling Asha he’s disappointed in her. But now that he has the power of a Star, no one will ever question him again.

He ties down every single person and closes the roof, draining Star’s essence into his magical staff.

Asha yells and uses her magic wand against him, and the two have a giant blast of magic against each other, but the energy is draining Asha while Star’s is giving Magnifico more strength.

Star weakly whispers to Asha to remember where she came from.

Magnifico snarls do Asha that she is nothing, and Asha remembers.

“We… are… stars.”

Asha’s blast of magic is battling Magnifico’s but he’s still stronger.

Asha cries out a plea to the people, these stars just like her, and Dahlia responds.

This Wish (Reprise)

The strengths of these stars give Star enough energy to break free from Magnifico’s staff and fly over to Asha’s side, and the magic blast shines bright and blasts Magnifico back, burning away the evil magic.

When the dark clouds clear and the night sky is sparkling once again, Magnifico isn’t moving. Amaya and Asha run to him, and Amaya cries over his body. She apologizes to Star for what they did, and asks if she can help her husband.

Star sadly tells her that his powers weren’t strong enough for that.

Amaya cries, and kisses Magnifico’s lips. Then, her star soul orb thing in her chest glows bright, and Magnifico’s does too. His body glows that shimmering yellow and he’s lifted into the air and the last bit of evil magic is burned away.

Asha asks Star what he’s doing and Star says he’s not doing anything!

Suddenly, Magnifico’s eyes open and he gasps, then falls.

Amaya and Asha rush to catch him, and Magnifico asks what happened.

Star shrugs and says some sort of True Love’s Kiss.

Magnifico and Amaya walk up behind Asha and address the people of Rosas. They apologize for what they did and they know nothing could ever make up for it. But… they promise to keep working to be the best king and queen they can be. If the people will still accept them. Also, they should have what’s rightfully theirs.

Magnifico uses his magic to lift the roof and release the wishes of Rosas back to their people. Amaya tells them that now they have a chance to fulfill their dreams, and she and Magnifico will be behind them every step of the way.

Dahlia steps foreword and thanks them for apologizing.

Basically they can still remain king and queen but they start a council of representatives where people can address them directly about problems and stuff

Then, Asha turns to the seven and says she has to apologize to them. For treating them all so poorly in the past.

They forgive her, and when she asks how they can do something like that so easily, Dahlia smiles. “It’s what friends do.”

“…friends?”

“Do you have a hearing problem, or something?”

“Gabo!”

“Sorry, Bazeema!”

Asha laughs and turns to Star who spins her around.

“I have friends!”

“You have friends!”

Meanwhile, Gabo whispers to Simon how they ever feared the princess. She was just a sad, lonely, friendless girl.

Asha turns to her wand and discovers it broken in half when she was blasted backwards.

Star restores her wand, and she says she’s going to be the most powerful sorceress in the history of ever and Gabo says she looks like a stupid fairy.

Asha glares.

“A fairy godmother,” Gabo smirks.

Star laughs and says that sounds amazing and Asha groans and bites back a smile.

Star smiles at the family, but he looks sad still. Asha holds his hands and he rubs her thumb.

“You have to return to the sky, don’t you?”

“If I had a choice, I’d choose to stay by your side.”

“I’ll keep on wishing on stars. I’ll find a way to bring you back.”

He tells Asha that they’ve learned that sending your greatest desires into the universe in hopes that they’ll be answered doesn’t do anything. It didn’t work for Magnifico, and it didn’t work for Asha. Instead, the people of Rosas should work to achieve their dreams.

Asha says she’ll work to achieve a way to find him again, then. Since she was going to be the most powerful sorceress—

“Fairy godmother~”

“Shut up Gabo.”

—she’d find a way.

Star smiles and says she’s his dream girl, and Asha jokes that’s he’s got to work to achieve her.

Star flips his cape and says it’ll be easy since he’s so absurdly handsome, and Asha snorts as she pulls him down and raises an eyebrow at him. Star turns a bright pink, then rolls his eyes as he smiles and pulls Asha up in the air with him by her waist, and the two kiss.

When they finally separate, Star is vibrating happily and he accidentally shoots out a magic blast at a nearby chicken, which makes it grow big and lay a giant egg on Gabo.

Star winks at her and returns to the sky.

EDIT BC I CAN’T BELIEVE I FORGOT TO ADD THIS BUT

ASHA DOES END UP USING HER FAIRY GODMOTHER POWERS TO HEAL SAFI’S SABI

MAYBE SHE MAKES A MAGIC FLOWER FROM A SUNDROP AND DAHLIA COOKS A PETAL INTO A COOKIE THAT HEALS SABINO

THEN BEFORE STAR LEAVES HE PROMISES TO HIDE THE GLOWER IN A FAR AWAY KINGDOM EHERE NO ONE WOULD BE ABLE TO EXPLOIT IT FOR IMMORTALITY (*side eyes Gothel*)

HE DOES END UP GETTING HEALED OK THE PEEPAW DOESN’T DIE

[madame-helen]

[ball-of-butter]

worst decision aveyard has ever made ever was make maven a man because can you even CONCEIVE how legit fem!maven would be can you even conceive it can you even conceptualise toxic yuri mareven omg omg you guys would never hear from me again

[fixyourwritinghabits]

Hello! Thank you for every advice you give here!

This might sound like a weird ask, but I don't know how to write the second(or more) draft. I've heard some advice about rewriting and not editing, but every time I try to write the second draft, I just end up copying the first one, with very few differences.

So my question is, what is your way of writing the second draft and if you have any advice on that? I know some things that work for some don't work for others, but I just can't seem to find the right way.

Oh, second drafts. Only the most difficult writing step after drafting, followed by the most difficult step of writing the third draft.

The good news is that almost no one pulls together their story on the second draft. If your first draft is putting down the bones of the story, the second is figuring out where to lay the connective tissue. Maybe you've got too many bones, maybe you don't have enough. Maybe some of your bones are too short, or too misshapen to work. The second draft is getting that story skeleton together, knowing full well you're gonna need to fix some of those bones first.

Get yourself a plan to put that skeleton together - make an outline. I swear I'm not the sworn enemy of pantsers that i sometimes seem to be (it's professional jealousy, I swear), but if you don't have an outline, now is the time to get one. If you do, go back and revise that first. You'll want to know what you want the story to become from the pile of bones you're working from.

Not enough bones - identify what you're missing. If you're like me, sometimes while drafting you write 'figure this shit out later' and then forget to do so. Thanks for nothing, Past Me. But chances are your story needs some added scenes, more character development, etc. Identifying those missing pieces and fleshing out your outline can help you tackle a second draft.

Too many bones - figure out what needs to be cut. Not every scene is going to be worth keeping no matter how attached to them you are. If you're on the fence about a scene, consider if it serves to move the plot forward, develops the characters, or establishes important worldbuilding. If the scene meanders plotlessly, repeats character beats instead of expanding on them, or seems to suck the oxygen out of the story, you may have to rethink or remove them.

These bones don't fit - figure out what scenes are lacking. Another thing I tend to do in first drafts is sell my scenes short. I just don't think of the best outcome, the most dramatic climax, or a great setting when I'm trying to figure out what happens. In going through your novel, think about each scene carefully. Should this argument take place in a deserted library, or would it be more emotional and dramatic on a crowded train? If the villain's plot seems small, how can you make him a greater threat?

Uuuh bro that's not a human bone - revising scenes that went off the rails. If you're gearing up for NaNoWriMo yet again, you might know the feeling of writing pages of bullshit to make that wordcount. It could be good bullshit! It could be really fun! But if it sticks out like a sore thumb in the story, it may be best to set aside to figure out what to make out of it later.

You're not going to get everything right in the second draft either, so don't over-stress in trying to get your story whipped into shape. But you will be better off after giving those bones a little polish and assembling them into what could conceivably pass for a decent skeleton, one that you won't mind sharing with others to see what other work it might need. Good luck!

[ghostjelliess]

Y'all ever get so mad at a book you start rewriting it?

[eclipseartz02]

Mystreet AU Aphmau

Here how Aphmau is in my Mystreet AU/rewrite

I am essentially doing a lot of changes to how each character met each other, what happens in the seasons.

I am gonna return to the og Slice of life, rom-com vibes in the early seasons, as I didn’t enjoy the drama and the seriousness of the later seasons. Hope you guys enjoy my rambling about it lolol

[the-slumberparty]

Rewriting your work!

Ever think of turning a fic into an original work? Or maybe you just want to revive and old WIP. Check out the following with tips on rewriting drafts and manuscripts.

Rewriting and Editing

How to Rewrite Your Novel

Try These 7 Smart Rewrite Tricks To Build Epic Writing Skills

The 6 Best Ways to Rewrite Your Book

How to Rewrite: 7 Tips for Strong Rewrites

[the-horizon-lounge3041]

What if Burning Shores began a little differently?

Burning shores was a good addition to the Horizon story, it helped flesh out Aloy’s character more and helped her realize something about herself (that is she is capable of falling in love with someone) and it showed us a new setting as well as new machines and gets us pumped up for the third installment to this incredible franchise. As a fan, I always like writing fun little things as a “what if this happened?” And that is what todays writing is about.

It starts out normally. Aloy gets a call from Sylens, they meet up and chat about the 13th Zenith, Aloy flys to the Burning Shores. On her way, Beta calls and tells her to be careful, (cute sisterly moments that I NEED in game no.3) as Aloy approaches she gets shot out of the sky and falls towards a beach.

This is where it starts to go the “What if?” direction

(Honestly this is kind of a FeralLoy thing😂)

Aloy lands in a fishing trap, she gets tangled up and ends up hurting herself trying to frantically escape, Then a woman named Seyka hears grunting and decides to go check out the source of the noise. She pulls out her bow in case if it is a machine, she jumps out of the corner of the rock and sees Aloy tangled in the trap. Seyka carefully approached her and cuts the trap loose. Aloy runs out limping and eventually runs out of breath, she crashes in a small cave on a different side of the beach. Covered in wounds and is in desperate need of help, she went to call Beta but her focus was missing, she figured she lost it from falling off her sunwing and her rough landing.

As Aloy panics and feels like she can’t even move, Seyka tries to help her clean her wounds and help her try to heal. But Aloy glares and shows signs of *I don’t trust you* (which would be pretty reasonable because she just met her, and is just starting to understand trusting a lot of people) Seyka states that she isn’t leaving the area due to machines being around and Aloy is in no shape to protect herself. Aloy just growls in frustration and rolls over, Seyka chuckles “I think I can get you to warm up red…at least it’s worth a shot”.

The next day early in the morning, Seyka brings supplies for herself (and for Aloy if she decides to let Seyka help her) As Seyka makes breakfast, she’s wondering if Aloy will come over to eat, but Aloy doesn’t budge she instead decides to look through her rations which is empty. Seyka thinks to herself that Aloy may be tough to befriend, Aloy mutters to herself about not trusting Seyka and isn’t sure if her intentions, and how her food smells good. As Aloy is short on food options, she’s getting hungry. This leads to Seyka hearing her stomach growling and then asks if she would like food because she sounds hungry. Aloy starts crying and confesses she’s starving. Seyka chuckles, gets her a bowl of food and tells her there is no need to get upset.

After the two share a meal and start getting properly acquainted with one another, Aloy apologizes for her behavior from before, introduces herself, and lets Seyka help her with her wounds and get back on her feet, while all of this is happening, Aloy starts to feel something she’s never felt before, she is in denial at the moment, but she may have caught feelings for this Quen.

And from this point on it’s just regular Burning shores what canonically happens, it’s just Seyka and Aloy having a few extra days with each other and having a rocky start when they meet.

Hope you enjoy this!

(Also I’m aware that the boards have poor grammar, I was pretty darn tired when I was adding dialogue but it’s okay this is all for practice 😂)

[incorrect-riordanverse]

leo “perchance” valdez and frank “you can’t just say perchance” zhang have a very underrated dynamic in my humble opinion

[rewrite-canon]

everyone is sideyeing amerie for being a mess but if i had fumbled malakai i would be tweaking tf out too

[rewritingcanon]

its crazy how so much romione content revolves around ron pining after an unbothered hermione when literally?? hermione was so down bad for him too?? idk how harry did it because those two are so mind-numbingly in love with each other and are always too busy fucking up with their communication skills and being insecure over their own ability to rizz the other to know that their love is completely mutual.

[exammole]

My changes to Miraculous (plus my thought process)

Part 1: Magic System

For context, although I am a fan of Miraculous and know what happens in it. I’ve never watched the series past season 3 Miracle Queen. But I still want to rewrite this show, it had a lot of potential that was wasted.

Kwami are cool, and although they’re massively important to the story I feel they’re also massively wasted. I also have issues with a lot of the powers as some blatantly copy off of and overshadow the main 7, and some are also stronger than the main 7 too (looking at Fluff and Longg). And I find the threat of Kwami using their power without a holder under-utilised.

The easy and probably better answer is to scrap the Zodiac Kwami entirely. But as I like some of them I’ve elected to making the zodiac more situational and the 7 more stronger.

The way it works in my version is that since the 7 main Kwami have had centuries longer to adjust to their forms; they have the ability to be flexible in what their powers can do, given if their holder trains enough. The 12 Zodiac Kwami who are just now being given physical forms, have far weaker powers. That being said, the general rules Kwami follow in the show (cannot be seen with technology, phasing through walls ect.) all still apply.

If I add the handicap that Kwami’s can’t use their powers without their holders because it’ll cause a catastrophe, it’s not going to be treated as a joke because Kwami are literal gods now.

Also all Kwami have passive abilities, which are powers that can be used without triggering the time limit. I feel most of them are understandable except for Know, Know is basically a 6th sense type of power that lets to sense emotions and vibes.

Tikki: Kwami of Creation

With minimal training, her holder can create objects (although what object is made is random).

With sufficient training, her holders can control what object they create.

With experienced training, her holders can create living things. More energy is used to create more complex life.

Tikki also has the passive ability of Fly

Plagg: Kwami of Destruction

With minimal training, his holder can destroy objects (although the level of destruction cannot be controlled)

With sufficient training, his holder can control the level of destruction.

With experienced training, his holder can increase their own strength by destroying other objects.*

Plagg also has the passive ability of Climb

Nooroo: Kwami of Transmission

With minimal training, his holder can spectate from one place to another

With sufficient training, his holder can communicate from one place to another

With experienced training, his holder can send things from one place to another

Nooroo also has the passive ability of Flight

Wayzz: Kwami of Protection

With minimal training, his holder can create shields*

With sufficient training, his holder can create multiple shields at once*

With experienced training, his holder can change the shape of theur shield*

Wayzz also has the passive ability of Shield

Trixx: Kwami of Perception

With minimal training, his holder can create small and simple illusions.

With sufficient training, his holder can create larger scale, complex illusions.

With experienced training, his holder can alter various other sences (hearing, smelling, etc.)

Trixx also has the passive ability of Dodge

Pollen: Kwami of Action

With minimal training, her holder can stop a target from doing something.

With sufficient training, her holder can freeze a target in place

With experienced training, her holder can force a target to do something.

Pollen also has the passive ability of Flight

Duusu: Kwami of Emotion

With minimal training, her holder can enchant an object with powers.

With sufficient training, her holder can change anothers form from the enchanted object.

With experienced training, her holder can create a living being with an enchanted object.

Duusu also has the passive ability of Know

Note, since Creation and Destruction are the strongest, it takes longer for the holders to use their powers effectively. I think that’s a reasonable natural handicap, and it makes it more interesting to see how Ladybug and Cat Noir manoeuvre around a battle.

With the zodiac as I mentioned before; I scaled down their powers to make them more situational, and they don’t have as much creative leeway in what their powers can do. As well as they don’t appear until much later into the rewrite.

Mullo: Kwami of Division

Allows the holder to divide into smaller copies of themselves.

Mullo also has the passive ability of Dodge

Stompp: Kwami of Unionisation

Allows the holder to absorb people into themself, becoming a giant collective.

Stompp also has the passive ability of Shield

Roaar: Kwami of Acceleration

Allows the holder to increase their speed to lightning fast levels.

Roaar also has the passive ability of Run

Fluff: Kwami of Abduction

Allows the holder to store items in a pocket dimension indefinitely.

Fluff also has the passive ability of Jump

Longg: Kwami of Composition*

Allows the holder to change their body composition.

Longg also has the passive ability of Flight

Sass: Kwami of Intuition

Allows the holder to see into the future.

Sass also has the passive ability of Dodge

Kaalki: Kwami of Migration

Allows the holder to create gateways (different to portals)

Kaalki also has the passive ability of Run

Ziggy: Kwami of Gravitation*

Allows the holder to change somethings gravity

Ziggy also has the passive ability of Climb

Xuppu: Kwami of Derision

Allows the holder to interrupt another’s power.

Xuppu also has the passive ability of Climb

Orikko: Kwami of Rejuvenation

Allows the holder to heal a targets wounds/damage

Orikko also has the passive ability of Know

Barkk: Kwami of Position

Allows the holder to track a target.

Bark also has the passive ability of Run

Daizee: Kwami of Jubilation

Allows the holder to amplify another’s power greatly.

Daizee also has the passive ability of Know

These are the only Kwami in my rewrite, since Master Fu accidentally destroyed the rest like he did in the show. Other power sources would technically exist, but not to the scale of the United Heroez; only things like the Grimoire, Guardians, mage powers (referencing the comic), and the Prodigious apply.

I find the origins of the Kwami so interesting, and I’m so confused why the only mention of it is tucked away in some comic which may or may not even be canon?? So I want to have mages be somewhat important to the story. As for the Prodigious and the Renlings; I never watched any of the specials so I don’t have an opinion on them, I guess I find them interesting? Might as well add it in.

Grimoires:

Grimoires are books containing information about the Kwami, the Miraculous, and various spells. Only Guarduans and Mages can read Grimoires without having to translate the book, as they are Miraculous text.

Guardians:

Guardians are the scholars and protectors of the Miraculous. This title is earned through a ritual that grants a person the power to read Miraculous texts, and an extended life span. If willingly or forcibly renounced, they will lose all memories relating to the Miraculous, the Kwami, the Mages and the Guardians.

Mages:

Mages are the descendants of the man who created the first ever Miraculous. They have the power to read Miraculous texts, the unique power of creating miraculous, and having the power to perform spells naturally.

The Prodigious & The Renlings:

The Prodigious is an artefact made by early Mages and Guardians to see if they could create Kwami of their own, creating the Renlings as a result. However they were deemed too unsafe and hidden away forever. Renlings still have the same powers as they do in the special, able to turn into an animal that corresponds to a human value that the holder is possessing. (I’m looking at the wiki, I could be wrong).

Long Long transforms the holder into a dragon when the holder is exhibits Justice.

Ying Ying transforms the holder into an eagle when the holder exhibits Confidence.

She She transforms the holder into a snake when the holder exhibits Courage.

Tang Tang transforms the holder into a mantis when the holder exhibits Patience.

Xiong Xiong transforms the holder into a bear when the holder exhibits Calmness.

Hou Hou transforms the holder into a monkey when the holder exhibits Compassion.

Ma Ma transforms the holder into a horse when the holder exhibits Honour.

Hu Hu transforms the holder into a tiger when the holder exhibits Discipline.

In my next Miraculous rewrite post, I’ll be talking about the plot.

EDIT: I’ve ended up changing a few things, bcuz I’m lowkey making this rewrite up as I go along. I’ll mention them when necessary, but I’ll be adding a * to anything I’ve edited. Sorry for any possible confusion 😓😓

[pinkandpurple360]

Sorry for always being in your inbox, I have a lot of thoughts about this show and I’m glad I’ve found people on Tumblr to talk about it.

I’ve been rewriting Helluva Boss and I’m going with the angle of Stolas being a somewhat sympathetic antagonist. I’m just… shocked how well it works. Like outside of changing the backstory and tweaking the Stella stuff, he works incredibly as a Claude Frollo esc antagonist.

A haughty, spoiled, and powerful leader whose grown bored with his life and believes he’s found love, but in reality it’s just unsettling and unwavering obsession with the idea of Blitz and the sex they have. When he realizes that he fucked up and that Blitz doesn’t actually love him, and that he’s been treating him like a sex toy this whole time, it’s too late and he has irreversibly fucked up his life and can’t fix it.

I just.. AAAAAA! How do you write such a compelling and complex villain for the narrative and then decide that he’s actually a love interest without rewriting him at all? I’m just.. so sad about what we could’ve had here..

RIGHT??

Let’s watch him in this scene (I use this one a lot) This is the real Stolas. Not the pathetic wimp he becomes in the scenes immediately following. Andrealphus is just season one Stolas’ personality inserted into an Elsa doll. Paimon is also the Stolas we could have had :(

On the same power level as Stella, with similar self righteous, pompous, and callous behaviour as her. All three of these characters are villainous. The episode should have stayed here and not taken the ridiculous yaoi kidnapping route it did. But maybe if this show was good, we’d see this turn of events as fuelling Stolas madness. He’s enraged he didn’t arrive to save him. He tricks the audience into thinking he’s letting blitz go, when in fact, he’s trying to get this divorce over with as fast as he can so he can propose marriage to blitz with the Asmodean crystal and buy his office from under him. Maybe even hiring himself as the company receptionist. Removing all of Blitzs agency and inserting himself unnaturally and forcefully into his life. Then calling it love.

Like you aren’t even rewriting it, you’re just writing the story that wants to be told and the character that wants to be written and flows naturally

He just proves a massive writing lesson to me, write someone as somewhat sympathetic, with a terrifying apathy for others, and with a clear motivation explaining his behaviour, and then take a step back and have him naturally fit into the villain role he was clearly born for. Don’t interact with the shippers on Twitter who don’t understand subtle storytelling. Also never ever let fandom and shipping culture interfere with your vision. That has destroyed so many franchises. And it’s destroyed this one now.