#riddler edward nygma

[laxi0v0]

I don’t think I posted him for without the question mark all in his cute face.

FYI this is header sized

[buthappysoverrated]

1 for the idiots to lovers prompt, I'll leave the pairing to your choice <3

Thanks for sending this Lidia!!! Sorry it takes a bit and almost all my writing turned out to be a little stream-of-conciousness like so they’re always confusing lol. Really hope you will like this! Also I ended it here because I don’t know how to continue

Prompt: "I don't like them like that. Absolutely fucking not. What the hell?"

Pairing: Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma (it’s my comfort ship even though I don’t talk too much about them) (also it’s not Ed it’s Riddler)

The Riddler woke up that day in quite a pleasant mood. Today he needed to settle some business with Oswald; yes, it was the business day with Oswald.

He caught his face smiling on a piece of broken glass.

"I don't like him like that. Absolutely fucking not," he said. His reflection looked a bit rueful, but was still smiling. "What the hell," he snapped.

"That's funny," Ed said, "that's really funny."

------

Riddler could work things out just fine, mind you; the problem was, judging from past experiences, feelings were messy and unreasonable and not something that could be just solved. Annoying, that was what they were. He didn't like puzzles that couldn't be solved. Those really shouldn't be inside the category of puzzles.

He was sure about how he had felt towards Lee. It had been some kind of passion. Same towards Isabella. Huh, he was almost sure Oswald had always known her name; that bastard just pretended to not remember it out of sheer spite. Oswald. Why was he thinking about Oswald again?

Oswald did like him like that though, or at least at some point in the past, he had liked Riddler like that. Riddler still wasn't sure how to feel about that. Love. Oswald had loved him.

He had loved Isabella. He had loved Lee. One could argue part of him still loved them; love changed how he was and who he was, and he had carried on with the changed pieces and fit them together to a new him, and he would continue to live on with them. Sounded weirdly sentimental, but this was the most accurate way he could describe it.

Both Isabella and Lee were pretty. Riddler supposed he could say Oswald wasn't bad-looking either; he had pretty eyes and sharp cheekbones.

He was 99.7% sure Ed was straight. It was an accurate mathematical term. He could show you the distribution of data to prove it. Central limit theorem.

"But this isn't about me, is it?" Ed said from the small mirror on his desk. "nor is it about Math."

"Why do I have a mirror on my desk anyway?" Riddler said tiredly and irritably.

"You pull it out when you're in a hurry but need to check if every single one of your hair is in place or something," Ed supplied. "Mr. Penguin has full-length mirrors everywhere and constantly checks his make-up. At least you're not that bad."

"Why do you call him that?"

Ed stopped, then started again: "I always call him that. You're the one on first-name-basis with the mob lord of Gotham."

Riddler rubbed his eyes. He really should stop talking to him. "And why are we talking about said mob lord again?"

"Because we're thinking about it. Because you're thinking about him."

[tranquilitybasehotelcasino]

go go gadget gender bend

[latverianpaparazzi]

[artisticdoofusxx]

[enigmamuse]

squishing them so they squeak like dog toys

[tampire]

Married couple knocks some sense into that nerd and his husband joins in

[creaman]

Who would have thought the man that goes out in a green glitter suit and peacock feathers wanted attention?

[goldfish-inhaler]

i like to think that the Arkham rec room has little busy work activities for the patients. most of them you could find in an elementary school until Riddler was admitted, then they had to start providing calculus and trig worksheets lol

[savanir]

DP x DC prompt [3]

during one of the final psych evals at Arkham right before he gets to be released, the whole thing wrapped up so tidy, just a little relapse which involved a robbery. Getting sent back to Arkham, but he got to stay at the asylum so long that he no longer has to serve a prison sentence, score!

But during that eval his overseeing psychiatrist recommended him to have a change of scenery, some fresh non polluted air.

Riddler was rather convinced the guy was making this recommendation to everyone in Arkham in their own weird way to convince them to just leave Gotham and become someone else's problem. should he notify Batman about it somehow? nah, it’ll be more interesting to see how this is gonna turn out in the long run.

But can he leave the state? Can he even leave the city? he never really bothered to look into it, at least not legally, up until now if he felt he needed to leave for one of his plans he just did it.

Turns out he can, it’s a whole hassle and a half though, first a judge and then a probation officer and he’s pretty sure both were like “what the hell is this psychiatrist guy thinking!?” but at the same time, shrink probably knows what he’s doing (WRONG) so he’s allowed to go visit out of state family or whatever.

he had to wear this nice ankle monitor though, Wayne Enterprises™ tech, not overly bulky but still very present. real fancy, and a fun extra challenge heh.

now as for a good reason to leave New Jersey he’s going to need distant relatives, and he finds some, great grandpa walker also has a son, who had a son who had a daughter Madeline, who married some guy Jack Fenton, and she lives somewhere out in the boonies Illinois. great he’ll visit her.

far enough away in all sense of the word that there is no way she knows anything about him. it would be best to call her first though, be polite about it.

“hello, you have reached Fenton works, this is Maddie speaking” 

“Riddle me this-” ah whoops, habit, oh whatever, “we don’t share parents, but certainly a part of your life, from laughter to strife. Who am I?”

there is a pause …  he’s going to be a bit disappointed if she hangs up if he’s honest.

“cousins~” comes the cheery reply.

“correct! the name is Edward Nygma, we are distantly related you and I and well-”

“oh you simply must come visit!” 

well this was rather easy, perhaps a little too easy, but she lives in the midwest so maybe just going with whatever some guy says over the phone is normal there? stranger danger not really a thing in a small town where everyone knows everyone?

things start to make a little more sense once he gets there and he’s starting to think some things might run in the family. like a preference for the colour green and weird hyperfixations and genius bordering on insanity. Though that remains to be seen, Jack does not seem like a very bright light after his very enthusiastic welcome.

their kids however are observant and sharp. young Jasmine is wasting no time trying to psychoanalyze him. and the boy, Danny, he had not really meant to and he swears he’s sticking with calling the kid Danny so he wouldn’t seem overly familiar, but he might have called him little bird a couple times now.

but that’s all whatever, he’s playing nice here. and he doesn’t even have to worry about his eccentricities tripping him up because this place is insane.

There actually is a local teen vigilante active but he seems about as loved as he’s disliked. and the ghost boy’s enemies are basically all his own kind, which another crazy thing to now know about. ghost. they are real actually, how is Gotham not completely overrun? and how do they even work? and where do they keep coming from?

Edward might be getting a little sidetracked here. He had fully intended to sneakily get his next big game plan underway all the way out here, ankle monitor be damned. but he hasn’t made any progress at all.

Instead he’s been listening to Madeline and Jack to maybe figure out what the deal is with these ectoplasmic entities, he has to know, at this point he might go crazier if he doesn’t. 

He’s making Jasmine promise him not to get her doctorate in Gotham, he’s going back and forth with space riddles with Danny.

so yeah the whole thing kinda just became a vacation, maybe the psychiatrist had the right idea after all? hmm nah, probably not. but this is fun. He’s thinking about recommending this place to some of the others.

It's different enough to get the vacation feel, but enough crazy shit happens to make it all feel like home.

it is not until Maddie wants to talk with him about potentially switching the position of godfather of Danny to him rather than some weird rich friend of theirs that Edward realizes he might have lost the plot somewhere

Apparently the little bird basically begged them with a powerpoint presentation on how he likes Edward so much more than that Vladimir guy. 

And honestly, the fellow sounds like a Dracula Lutho so even if it’s kinda sad Edward can understand why he’d be considered a better option. Even if the guy has more money and a huge company that makes him said money. And it’s not like the Fentons know about his Riddler activities.

Thinking it over, Edward does think that Danny would like Gotham and Wayne has that space program thing right? The kid is definitely smart enough for that (Nygma certified), and yeah Edward does quite like their space themed back and forth. So, fuck it, why not, what is the worst that could happen?

He doubts Maddie and Jack are gonna kick it any time soon anyway out here in the boonies, it’s just a title thing, a stamp of approval or something.

he should have known he was going to eat those words later… he had this whole beautifully elaborate trap set up for the whole Batclan, and he was just getting to the good part when his phone went off.

Had to put the whole thing on pause cause that particular contact wasn’t gonna get ignored. He did promise to be available.

If the whole thing he had planned now went tits up he could at the very least laugh later at the reactions of the bats as he told them to “hold up one second, I have to take this.” while they were all in various perilous positions. 

Sadly he did have to go, he had a very distressed godson to pick up.

[skaspert]

some designs :D

[laxi0v0]

He’s coming for your ass

[skxtchyghost]

my boys

[wishfulsketching]

Nygmobblepot and "he said no pickles" meme

Oswald should not do his own shopping, ever. For the sake of the retail workers.

[frightshack]

fiddle diddle diddle

[silverbackwolf14]

This has refused to leave my brain so I was forced to create it. I am so sorry.