#rilaya oneshot

[onceiblinked]

 Decisions, decisions…

[sabrinasfadingmoon]

would anyone be willing to write me a rilaya fluff oneshot? i never request stuff but my dog died and I could really use my og comfort gays and the rilaya tag is kind of dead

(will accept other comfort ships as well hosie/supercorp just need to read some fluff right now my preference for rilaya can be broken)

[baywindowproductions]

You Make My Hart Go "Bloylalaloo" (Rilaya Oneshot)

Hey, Fandom - Ren here! 🙂 I know this post is really, really late, but I promised a Rilaya fanfic for you guys to celebrate reaching my first 100 followers in the summer of 2016, so here it is! 🙂 I procrastinated on this so much, so thank you for your patience. Also, this is my first fanfic (despite having been a writer for 13 years, I’m a little rusty due to writer’s block/lack of inspiration), so forgive me if this sucks somewhat 😂

But anyway, I hope you enjoy! 🙂

Prompt: Riley and Maya are hanging out in Riley’s room, and Riley’s mere existence is making Maya feel all the feels (as usual), and it gets to the point where she quietly utters, “Bloylalaloo!” and Riley hears and says, “What?” but Maya tries to deny it. Riley won’t have any of that, though, and eventually pulls it out of her - at which point, Riley also shares her feelings for Maya, and BOOM! Rilaya happens.

(fun fact: another fanfic was written using this same prompt (submitted by me), which I would totally recommend for you guys to check out as well; it was written by KaiAnatoly2017 on Wattpad and is simply titled "Bloylalaloo")

Pairing: Riley Matthews x Maya Hart

Genre: Fluff (romantic)

Word Count: 1,153

Rating: T

Riley Matthews sat in her bay window with a wide smile on her face, relishing over the adorable dream she had last night. The bunny and the puppy had kissed (as they usually did), and she was bubbling over with so much elation that she thought she might explode if she didn’t rant to someone about it. Thankfully (as if the timing couldn’t be more perfect), a certain blonde someone decided to climb in through the bay window at that very moment. Maya Hart - Riley’s best friend; and, unbeknownst to the blonde beauty, the girl she had been in love with since the moment they met.

“Hey, Riles!” Maya greeted her with that same old warm smile, which she saved only for her best friend. The one that made Riley feel like they were the only ones in the universe. So much so, in fact, that she had to break herself away from staring endearingly into the blonde’s ocean blue eyes, long enough to ask Maya to repeat the sentence she’d failed to process.

“I’m sorry, what?” Riley asked, shaking herself out of her stupor.

Maya chuckled to herself, before asking again. “I said, what’s got you so happy this morning?”

“Oh, um….” Riley couldn’t hold back her slight giggle as she blushed and looked down at her lap, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Certainly more than one thing, she thought.

But she decided to ignore her feelings, when she remembered what that other thing was: the dream that she was just dying to tell her best friend about before she arrived. The one about the bunny and the puppy. Kissing.

“Well, I had the most adorable dream last night, Peaches!” She said, looking up at Maya with the most beaming smile you could ever imagine.

With this kind of expression coming from someone like Riley, Maya wasn’t the least bit surprised at this announcement; she had come to understand, in all the years she’d known her, that this was just who Riley was. And she loved her for that.

In fact, it was one of Maya’s favorite qualities about her.

“Oh, really? Care to tell me what it was about?” Maya asked, crossing one leg over the other and leaning toward Riley, her palm resting softly on the bay window cushions as she looked lovingly into her best friend’s eyes.

And with that - barely able to contain herself - Riley launched into her rant.

As Riley started talking a mile a minute, completely absorbed in the absolutely adorable scene she was describing, Maya took in the amazing sight in front of her: her best friend and love of her life, sitting in the bay window, bursting with joy and so excited to tell her about something wonderful that she had witnessed (even if it was only in the confines her own mind). The sight itself was enough for the artist to bubble over with feelings of her own.

So, with her gaze lovingly transfixed on the brunette, Maya softly breathed out the only word she could think of, to describe the…. well, indescribable feelings she had.

“Bloylalaloo!”

Riley’s words slowed to a halt as she squinted curiously at her, making Maya realize instantly what she had just done. Her eyes widened in panic as she leaned back a little, taking her palm off of its resting place in the bay window, and tried to think of a Plan B on the fly.

Okay Hart, breathe. Just play it off like you didn’t just single-handledly reveal you’re in love with her, and she’ll leave it alone, Maya thought.

….Hopefully.

“What was that?” Riley asked quizzically.

Hope is for suckers.

“Nothing!” Maya replied, probably a little too quickly. She turned back towards the bay window, ready to climb out and down the fire escape so she could run home, and avoid having to face Riley with her feelings... and the rejection she knew would inevitably come.

But, as it turned out... Riley had other plans.

She grabbed hold of the back of Maya’s culottes to halt the attempted escape - much in the same fashion as Maya had done to her, actually, on the latter’s fourteenth birthday.

"Maya, I'm not letting you leave this bay window until you admit what you said!"

Silence.

Riley's features softened before she spoke up again. "Peaches? Please... just tell me what you said!"

"No!" Maya let out, her voice strangled.

"I know what you said, Maya; and I know what it means!"

"Then why do I have to blurt it out and ruin everything?!" Maya demanded, finally turning back to face her best friend.

Slightly trembling, she braced herself for the next words to come out of Riley's mouth.

Smiling fondly at the blonde beauty, Riley simply replied, "Because it won't be ruined."

Maya's features turned from sadness to a cross between realization and surprise. Of all the things she'd expected to hear, this definitely wasn't one of them.

After all, hope was for suckers, right?

"What?" Maya said softly, throat closing as a high-pitched sound made its way past her lips.

Riley smiled softly, looking lovingly into the blue eyes of the one she loved the most, her extraordinary relationship. "You won't ruin everything, Maya."

There was a pause as Maya's vulnerable eyes searched Riley's assured ones.

"Because I feel the same way." Riley admitted, letting out a euphoric laugh.

At this, Maya let out the breath she didn't know she'd been holding. A relieved, breathy giggle escaped her lips. Still hesitant, though, she decided to ask the brunette a question, just to settle her worries.

"Ring power?"

Riley's smile grew even more assured. "Ring power."

"Why didn't you say anything, Riles?" Maya asked.

"Probably the same reason you didn't. I was scared of losing you. That you would feel differently about me."

"Hey, you could never lose me. And that's on ring power." The two girls giggled, feeling a weight lift from their shoulders, knowing they didn't have to hold in their feelings any longer.

Maya, once again, looked deeply into her chocolate brown eyes, and she asked her, "You wanna know how you make me feel?"

It was Riley's turn to have vulnerable eyes. "What?"

Maya smirked a little as she lifted the tips of her fingers to hold Riley's chin. Then, she slowly leaned in, closed her eyes and placed a soft, passionate kiss on her best friend’s lips.

Riley melted into the kiss, her hands going to the blonde beauty's waist and shoulder. They held the kiss for a few seconds before Maya pulled away, leaned her forehead on Riley's and whispered, "Bloylalaloo!"

At this, the two erupted into giggles, leaning in again after a moment as their lips moved more passionately against each other than before.

A few minutes later, Maya pulled away and said, "Hey, I guess your dream kinda came true, huh?"

Confused, Riley asked, "What?"

"The bunny and the puppy really did kiss!"

Riley's eyes widened with awe, and a moment later her legs started bouncing, her smile growing more and more exaggerated.

She was about ready to explode with happiness.

With a knowing eye-roll and a snort, Maya simply said, "Go ahead, let it out!"

"YYYYYYYYAAAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAAYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

[vintage-sapphics]

at this point I’m basically just writing rilaya stuff for myself so if anyone from this dead fandom wants a oneshot, here 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24110146

[fauxastral-blog]

you’re my all and more - rilaya

this is the fastest i've ever written a piece, but the words just seemed to flow so easily in the grief of losing girl meets world today. i know there is still a chance in it going to netflix, a chance i'm thankful we have and am supporting wholeheartedly. but in despite of that, the thought of losing this show that has really changed me as a person inspired this piece. i hope it sparks just as emotion in all of you

alternatively, read it on ao3 and leave a comment

. . .

“This isn’t over, Maya.” She says it over and over and over and Maya hears her, she really does, she can’t remember a time where she wasn’t listening to everything that came out of Riley Matthews mouth; from gibberish when she’s excited, to choked cries when her tears soak the collar of Maya’s shirt, to delicate niceties when she’s surrounded by people she’s trying wholeheartedly to impress, to soothing gentle assurances when someone begins to cry on her shoulder, to mumbled love confessions in Maya’s ear that used to only be held in the midnight hours but now appear any time of day, to now a desperate cry in the middle of her bedroom.

She’s gripping Maya’s hand like it’s her only tether to reality, their fingers woven so tightly that Maya knows they’ll both have bruises when they break away, but she can’t bring herself to worry; if she leaves right now the soft skin between Riley’s fingers won't be the only thing that’s bruised. Her heart will be too. And the last thing Maya would ever, in a thousand years or a thousand lifetimes think of doing to Riley is hurt her, mentally or physically, but she knows the time they have is already dwindling. To cling to it as Riley is is a foolish game of love Maya doesn’t wish to play with the brunette’s heart.

Riley is so soft and gentle and loving and beautiful, yet so fierce and determined and independent and selfless that Maya knows that anyone she meets on the road to come will fall in love with her, just as Maya did the first time she crawled through that open window; strangely compelled by the little singing voice floating gracefully down from four stories above. If any of them know what’s good for them, they’ll cling to her like the air they breathe and never let go. Riley was special, she’s one of those people you don’t meet every day. The kind that will never give up on you and will always forgive, even if you may not deserve it in the long run.

Maybe she was being contradictory, because she was leaving Riley, the girl she loved with everything, the girl she’d do anything for to protect from misery, the very air she breathed, but she tells herself that it’s for Riley’s own good. Maya wants to tell her this, to tell her that she means everything to her, to tell her that what they share will never fade, to tell her that this is hurting her just as much, to tell her she’s feeling the same burning pain of longing and fear of what life will be like when they’re separated by 2,885 miles of mountains and plains and forests and cities. When they share nothing but the blue sky above them.

“I’m setting you free,” Maya says, daring to look into her eyes for the first time. She’s not surprised tears are pooling there, making her chocolate irises suddenly seem like they’re in a glass display case; close enough to see, but touchable no longer. It still sends a pang of fiery pain through her chest and before she can stop herself or process the action through her better judgement, Maya lifts her hand to Riley’s cheek and brushes away a few of the small tear droplets that are gliding down her cheeks, leaving watery trails to her chin and soaking the top of her silky, emerald green dress.

The small movement sends a flood of memories over Maya, reminding her of happier times that her hand gently brushed Riley’s cheek in such a manner. The times they’d kissed softly while in public or innocently in the middle of the night when they were both tiring and nearly to unconsciousness, or the times the touch was decidedly not innocent, charged with passion and the desperate need to be closer, the need to have more skin exposed to lay wanting fingers upon. Even the kiss they shared a mere hour ago on the taxi home from a carefree rendezvous in a darkened park haunted her, lingering and full of love. Maya wants the memories to go away; disappear as fast as they came. They were only making it harder for her to let go. As if it wasn’t already killing her.

Maybe Riley sees this, because as Maya tries to retract her hand, hoping her thoughts become more focused with less contact, Riley catches her open palm and guides it back to her face. Her eyes have narrowed, forcefulness flashing in them. Her eyebrows have scrunched in disbelief and she’s smiling but it’s not genuine, more confused. Smiling at all seems so out of place in a time like this. Maya tries to nonverbally will her to not even begin this argument, because she’s already shattering, but even if Riley picks up on the hint she ignores it.

“I don’t need you to set me free, Maya. I am free.” Her smile and forcefulness cracks and along with the display case shielding her eyes, and tears begin to brim and slowly fall, one by one. Maya is close enough to see a few of them cling to her thin, lower lashes delicately. Riley’s hand is still holding Maya’s harshly, to the point her knuckles are white, and she holds up their intertwined fingers as she speaks. “You make me feel free. Don’t take that away. Don’t leave.” Riley drops their hands and begins to sob quietly, eyes squeezed shut, trying to prevent any more tears from escaping. It’s no longer an argument, it’s a plead.

Maya removes her hand from Riley’s cheek and pulls the brunette closer into her chest. She knew the promises she made to herself about trying to make this as quick and painless as possible, but when she really thinks about it she knew that this was how it was going to go. Nothing about this, what she had to do, where she had to go, was painless. And she didn’t want Riley’s final memory of before they parted ways to be of a different girl than the one she fell in love with. So Maya takes her into her arms and allows herself to be lit on fire at the close touch. But in the end, she’d be lit like this a thousand times over to keep Riley Matthews, the girl she loved, warm.

Riley’s tears soak the soft skin in the crook of Maya’s neck as they both slowly sink to the carpet. Maya is on Riley’s lap now, making the height difference between them less noticeable; she briefly wonders if she’ll ever enjoy being significantly shorter than someone again, but then shoves the thought away and places her chin atop Riley’s head. Tears of her own begin to soak Riley’s scalp as she breathes in the scent of her flowery shampoo. The aroma she may have taken for granted, knowing that the next day, and every day after that for the foreseeable future, she would be able to smell the exact same roses and daisies, but Maya knows she doesn’t have that luxury anymore. She begins to take gulps of it in, wanting the high to send her to a reality where this isn’t happening and the evening could’ve ended with giggles and being curled up together in bed, under warm sheets with a secure future, together, on their minds.

“I love you,” Maya whispers into her hair, planting a kiss there.

Riley pulls her closer, another choked sob escaping her lips. She shakes her head repeatedly, silently asking Maya if she had to go, even though she knew the answer. After a moment of acceptance, she takes a deep, stuttering breath and pulls her head from Maya’s neck, looking into her eyes. “I love you, too.” The words ‘always and forever’ don’t even need to be said, they’re written all over her face, written all over every moment they’d ever shared.

Maya untangles herself, taking an extra amount of time to do so; every touch lingering. Riley revels in it, a soft sigh escaping her at each gentle graze of her fingertips, wanting to remember every place she was last touched by her. The only place they’re still touching when Maya stands and makes her way to the window is their hands, the same hands they’ve been gripping together all night. And their hands are still clasped when Riley opens the window gently and Maya crawls through.

Riley begins to let go, the warm late spring air seeping through the cracks in between their fingers, but Maya suddenly turns around on the fire escape, holding them tightly together again. Her laugh is watery.  “This is really only appropriate isn’t it? That I’m leaving the same way I came in? Through this window?”

A fresh batch of hot tears roll down Riley’s face and they stare at each other for a long second before Maya shifts upward and catches Riley’s lips right as she’s coming down to meet her’s. It’s only while they’re kissing that Maya pries each finger out of Riley’s vice-like grasp, one at a time. Now she’s the one savoring the final touch.

When their kiss finally breaks, too, the sweet taste still lingering on Maya’s lips, their foreheads rest together for a mere moment. Then Maya is gone, nearly as fast as she’d appeared eleven years ago. She shuts the window behind herself, the soft thunk a sound that rings in her ears for a long time after, and climbs down the fire escape.

Maya never sees Riley Matthews again, but the memories of what they shared were never lost. Because of that beautiful, caring and kind girl she met when she was only seven, she learned how people could truly changed people. She was given a hope she didn’t think she could possess and a family that accepted her along with it. Because of her, Maya met the world. And even if none of that were true, she could still never forget the first girl she ever loved.

[hadtochangemyurlquick]

WLW Fic Rec List

with input from my beautiful friend @gee13

I promised a random anon I would give ‘em a more complete list of recs several months ago so here- in no particular order I have, Glee, Pretty Little Liars, Pitch Perfect, Girl Meets World, Supergirl, The 100,  The Good Place, and Riverdale. 

There’s very little porn without plot in here, but I went through my favorites on fanfiction.net and my history on Ao3 and if I recognized the fic I put it down. So some might have slipped through.

As I was going through these and rereading some old favorites I forgot about I wrote little bios. If your work, or a work you really like doesn’t have a bio it’s just cause I remembered it was really good and didn’t feel a need to reread it. If you want comment your own and I’ll edit the post and give you credit. 

The minimum qualifications for all of these were:

At least 2k words for a one shot, if it was a multi chapter there had to be at least 1k words per chapter (For example: 14 chapters, 14k words)

It had to be completed or updated in the last year ish (but like I was flexible based on the quality, and if I knew the author or the deal or not)

It had to be Ao3 or Fanfiction.net and tagged appropriately (so I could find it)

Also I never really got into g!p stuff because I ran into a lot of transphobic or just really offensive stuff early on which put me off of it.

Or the alpha omega stuff, when my goach found out I was reading fanfiction she said ‘great just nothing with alpha omega shit okay” and that was like four years ago but I don’t care enough now to start. So none of those are on here (maybe in faberry but I don’t think so)

And they also had to be english, my spanish is still pretty bad so I can’t really read any of those- sorry :(

But let me know if the link ain’t right. And if you think something should be added let me know too, and I’ll read it and add it, and give you credit. My tastes have changed over the years to be slightly so if there’s something here that you think is distateful message me being like “can you reread this?” because it might’ve slipped through. Or I might be like “m8 thats some gay ass shit right there, agr33 to disagr33.” We’re all just here to read out otps getting together again and again in different ways, let’s just be chill about it

But don’t worry- what’s important is at the end of the day they’re all very very gay. 

Italics is required reading for each fandom

Glee

Faberry

Dead Girls Don’t Sing (a must read) and the sequel Dead Girls Don’t get a Happy Ending - if you read nothing else for the rest of your life read this, it was written by one of the kindest women I know

You Don’t have the Right

A Perfect Match - slow burn, good if you like tennis

Comfortably Numb

Black Holes and Revelations

Angel Eyes

I’ll Be

Beers and Strippers

Kill the Light

Racing Against the Sun (fucking depressing I cried)

The Christmas Act

Acceptance and it’s sequels: Remembrance and Convergence

Making Angels Cry

Better Than Ice Cream - cute kid!faberry fic

Alone Together - slow burn af but worth the read

A Million Miles of Fun - ridiculous and great

Cuddle Monster - fluffy fluffy crack

Zero, Thirtyseven, Nine - I read this awhile ago and was too young to comprehend the genius

Secret Relationship Unlike Any Other - I was just thinking about this fic the other day!

Should’ve Asked for Directions - if you haven’t read this- read it I swear to god

An Accident of Paradise

Backwards Walk  and the companion Between The Drinks And Subtle Things - angsty and painful, I once attempted to write a happy ending and even my fluffy ass failed 

Better Where it’s Wetter - Introduced me to Ellen so…

Boats in the Sky

The Wish

Give your Heart a Break - left me a lil unsatisfied, but gave me some room to daydream about an epilogue

We might fall hard We might fall fast

I Told Him

Opposite Poles, Equal Partners - a quick angsty one shot to leave you unsatisfied :)))))))))

Quinn’s Second Time - I remember this being good awhile back, let me know ya’ll

Marley and Quinn

My Lost was Saying Found

Brittana

12 Days

Pretty Little Liars

Emison:

Ali’s Second Chance

Duplicity

Sinner’s Lullaby

the supreme 

Dreaming

Gravity

Affair

In Holy Matrimony

Our War

A Break From Being Me

Acquired Madness

Her Silence is Deafening

It’s a Process

Orange is the new Alison

Mermaid

Brooklyn and the Baby

Dreaming - tbh I’m not sure if it’s good, but the concepts amazing and the first chapters are really good so we’ll see

Downtown Train - this author is an investment, I have a feeling they’ll get better with time and this fic is already really good. Perfect for a relaxing rainy day, or right before you go to bed because it won’t keep you up. Just like a chill fic bruh

Begin Again - THAT ONE BASED OF AN OLD ASS POST I MADE FOR NOTES BECAUSE I KNEW YOU FOOLS WOULD EAT IT UP AND SOMEHOW TURNED OUT REALLY WELL AND I DIDN’T EVEN ASK THEM TO WRITE IT THEY ASKED ME HAHA WHAT THE FUCK

Tattooed Memories & Hidden Stories

Soldiers are Dreamers

Lauren - frustrating for an emison shipper but undeniably well written

Place Your Bet - tbh everything by this author, while a little slow, is incredible 

And The Sparks That We Had Can No Longer Light Up Our Debris - angsty and unsatisfying, but I’m a masochist so I love it

Like Real People Do

Right now it feels like we’re bleeding (so deep that we might not get back up) - I have reread this shit so many times, I love it to death

J'adore

she’s (not) too good for you - I reread this on the regular

25 Occasions People Have Celebrated in the Liarverse - seriously so good, I cried several times

Five Kisses Emily Fields Never Had (On Screen)

Half the Fun

A Break From Being Me - hasn’t been updated in 3000 years but sorta incredible tbh, read at your own risk!

Mulligan Madness

Ali’s Guide to the Art of Love - one of those fics that seems dumb but is actually really gripping and well written and it’s just that the summary’s misleading?

i’ve been afraid of changing (cause i built my life around you)

silver stepping stones - sorta like ‘Right now it feels like we’re bleeding…’ but told from Alison’s perspective and if Alison had gone with Emily. It’s not perfect but it’s a cute one shot and really in character

Ali’s Nightmare Before Christmas and it’s sequel Breathe Again - I actually haven’t reread these I just remember these being really really good

Art of Attraction - I actually know the author and she’s super nice and she writes a bunch of other great stuff

Charlissa

All the Things That Used to Matter

Vandermarin

every thought a thought of you

Love is the New Denim or Black

Sparia

Act Like Everything is Normal

wide open road (of my future)

Spanna

Take Me to Your River (I Wanna Go)

Other:

Chalk Paths

Tell me you Won’t Leave me - really angsty, I felt like it really made an impact on me ya know?

Thirteen Things - this is actually a series but every fic is completed and utter gold

All the Way Home I’ll Be Warm - okay this is a lil hetero but it has emison so

Big Little Liars

Imitation is the Sincerest Form of Depravity

Slouching Towards Bethlehem

Times, They Are A’Changing - sorta every gay couple imaginable, I haven’t read it in awhile but I remember it being really good, there’s a companion peice: Baby, You’re the Best I’ve Ever Met that’s about Mona and Melissa

Pitch Perfect

Bechloe

Perfect Timing and a Perky Red Head

Moirai

Girl Meets World

Rilaya

The Circle

iloveyouiloveyouiloveyou, she never says and the unfinished sequel which will continue to kill us “we’ll be fine,” he swore  (even if you aint in the fandom read this, some of the best work I’ve ever seen)

Growing Pains Taste Like Five Hour Energy And Her Lips

Darling so it Goes - hasn’t been updated in awhile so read at your own risk

your hand in mine (heartbeats in sync)

we howl to the moon

do you fall in love too easily?

Passage - I reread this to make sure it was still good as I remembered, crying now- read at your own risk

As Observed by the Sky

pretty sleeper and it’s companion pretty weeper - why is the rilaya fandom so angsty? IT’S NOT NECESSARY

crawl home to her - vampire au, not normally something I’m into but the pickings are sparce and this is damn good

Revelations

Ten First Meetings

The Universe Wants Maya Dead - fucking angsty man, seriously

Day in the Super Life

with joyful ring - a cute Christmas one shot

a love that’s homeless - another cute fantasy one shot

ramble in the roots

Supergirl

Supercorp

Something to Write About

The War of Roses

Is this who we are now? - I wish this was more than a oneshot, I would’ve liked to see the ending play out but a fantastic concept- really

90408

Of Soul-Mate’s and Heart-ache

The Fifth Wall -  I’ve loved the slow buildup but haven’t had a chance to finish it so no one talk to me about it ever

Secretaries Know Best - Jess is a queen and I love her

One Lena Comment Too Far - the greatest piece of literature to ever grace the internet

Did You Absolutely Have To - I’m dying and I love it

Your Name

Supergirl’s latest date - I remember this being pretty funny but I was too lazy to reread

Sunlit Honey and Lavender Sunsets and apparently the author has an unfinished sequel? Gold-Crested Ravens and Cornflower Blue Mornings

The 100

Clexa

Lightening Only Strikes Once - READ READ READ PLEAASE

Six

Down Came the Rain

The Blind Side of Love

Pie in the Sky - so so so so good! Like actually amazing

they take their shots but we’re bulletproof

you’re magic & you’re real

All That You Got (Skin To Skin Oh My God)

Copper Down - so I went on a clexa spree and so there’s gonna be a shit ton of those on here

More Than You Think You Are - a little ooc at times but pretty gosh darn amazing oh my god

masquerade dreams 

blood rush in the hazy glow - this killed me, I wish the author would give us an epilogue, maybe Clarke and Lexa buying the bar together and watching some lost college kids come in making it a circle or something, but really really really amazing Jesus

I’ll travel through time to save you

In Another Life - a little Lexark for ya, it’s a short, fun, satisfying read you can knock out in thirty minutes

Origamis - to prepare ya’ll for the single mom au I’m dropping probably never but have planned out in my head to a tee

The Wife Project: By Professor Alexandria Woods - Autistic!lexa is honestly one of my favorite head canons that I believe is 100% true, and this fic writes it effortlessly

Almost Three - angsty but interesting concept- definitely enjoyable and I’ve reread it multiple times

Some Angels Fall

Commander in Chief - the best part about this is that in this universe trump is in jail

i’ll give you the moon - some christmas fluff

she gave me a good character (but said I could not swim) - angsty and unfullfilling so you know I love it

The White Queen Running - I loved every moment of this fic and it’s (unfinished) sequal - The Red King Awake, while admittedly hard to follow at times it’s still incredibly sweet while also being angsty and intriguing. 10/10 would read again. Also there’s so much fanart for it? Like really really good fanart? I’ve actually saved some of the better pieces to give me inspiration when I write tbh…

An Unfinished Fight - wonderful concept but would’ve loved to see the ending scene played out more, still an overall amazing fic and honestly so satisfying

Love Letters and Coffee Grounds - a warm christmas fluff for ya that’s ridiculously long but still great. 

It’s in My Roots, in My Veins, in My Blood (and I Stain Every Heart That I Use to Heal the Pain - a little bit of plot exhaustion by the end, you can probably just stop reading after the second denny’s scene and then skip to the epilouge but still so fantastic. I stayed up till 2am reading this and have no regrets

This Isn’t Our Fate (But You’re Still My Destiny) - lexark and clexa in one amazing fic! Sign me the fuck up! Really fucking cute and fluffy and totally angsty headcannons for elyza I love.

An Adventure - I love the characterization for Aden and I love this so much in gerneral tbh

you’re magic & you’re real - I like exactly four headcanons about the 100 characters: autistic!lexa, dyslexic!clarke, nonbinary!octavia, and I can’t remember the other one. It doesn’t matter, all of the mentioned above are in this and it’s very gay and wonderful and I actually wish I could make a movie out of this because it’s so great

by her side - a warm fluffy christmas fic for yall

Let Your Hair Down - dunno, cute af I guess

The Days of our Lives - a series I didn’t have the patience to finish but I have adhd so… the first one was fantastic and I loved the second one, but it keeps going so the others are probably good too

Today at Dust - helpful if you want to cry

who told you that you were naked? - fantastic, like seriously one of the best things I’ve read. 

i can fly higher than an eagle (for you are the wind beneath my wings) - GREAT if you want to cry. Not clexa centered but at the end yeah… It’s about Anya and Lexa

I have lost my pain - creative and interesting, well written and well done. A very good fic in all manners of speaking

I Will Wait (You Forgave And I Won’t Forget) - just a cute oneshot that’s very well written and gripping

A Forest Fire - I’m a sucker for fix it fics 

Fallen - a series I didn’t have the paitence to finish but again, symptom of my adhd, the first book and second book’s first half was fantastic and cute. I just love the headcanon for Clarke

Fix You - angsty but also amazing?

Mystic Coffee - did this inspire fanart or was it inspired by the witch!clarke fanart?

the business of caring - I’m a huge fan of this author’s style of writing, it’s funny and straight to the point and very dry, I read this until 3:30am last night and I had to get up at 6 the next day

what the ground grows - written by the same author and you can see the similarities in voice. Seriously both are amazing but this one is considerably more angsty than the one above

I’m bigger than my body, I’m colder than this home (I’m meaner than my demons, I’m bigger than these bones) - so angsty but so wonderful, I actually cried so hats off to you author…

The Witch of Ceder Plains - a cute two shot

July 4th 2016 - not really a series like the description promises but a very good stand alone story that was well written

If Love Were Enough and the heartbreaking prequal What I Lost In You - both oneshots, both genius

Bury it and Rise Above - mideval oneshot that I love

Ramen, Redbull, and Spite - I need a comic book based off this, it’s genius

find your way to me - fuck this fic, no really, I stayed up till 4am reading it when I had to get up at 8 the next day. Fuck this fucking shit. Mainly fluff until everything falls apart

Sacred Spaces - wasn’t gonna cause it’s just a oneshot and the description is so bad but shit the imagery in here is to die for and I feel like I’m reading a van gogh painting seriously

maybe they will sing for us tomorrow: the only thing I’ve ever printed a hard copy of its my all time favourite probably (description and initial reccomendation by @lexascandlestores) 

Everything by this author is so good in the clexa section I would reccomend all of it seriously oh my god

move on me: reincarnation fic that’s really beautiful (description and initial reccomendation by @lexascandlestores​)

Against the multiverse: a really fun clever one shot  (description and initial reccomendation by @lexascandlestores​)

ultraviolet lights - a lexark one shot that headcannons Elyza in a way I haven’t seen her before (a soft gay extra mess)

Hope is the Thing with Feathers (That Perches in the Soul) - I really love the daemon universe even though I’ve seen very little of it. This was very vivid though and had great imagery...

You’re Love Is a Waiting Game - I don’t think the author knew how to end this which is why the ending wasn’t perfect, but it’s overall so amazing I love it and it’s def worth the read

a year of sundays - a bit of a slow read at times and a bit mind boggling at times that they don’t figure it out sooner but very fluffy and amazing and very in character

your hand in mine and it’s sequal your hand in mine (pt. ii) - at the time of my writing this I have not yet finished part two but the first one was mastered so well I can only imagine its counterpart will be of a similar nature. Also there’s smut in this

Nails For Breakfast, Tacks For Snacks - a series about clexa in the middle of a turfwar, it’s just three well written one shots that are gripping and have a lot of imagery and realism. 

Something Suspicously Close to Hope - read if you like crying and Stranger Things, it’s a series of one shots about Eleven being adopted by Clexa and I love them

beat the devil’s tattoo - I haven’t read the one for anya but I imagine, if it’s anything like this- it’s pretty darn good

And I am driftwood, found. - really emotional, I read the first part but never finished it but this forced me to go back and reread it. Definitely worth it.

Feels Like Home - a short but satisfying read with very good characterization

a hand to hold on to series - definitely prioritizes family over romance but the kids were very realistic and I liked what they did when they placed Lexa in such a new situation so fast. I feel like people characterize her as bad with kids a lot but I don’t think she was...

or what you will - realiztic and heartfelt, I liked the poetry it was additive and insightful

enchanted. - are there ever enough harry potter AUs? Could’ve done with some more angst but this was acceptable.

She (thefooliam): a classical emotional roommates fic that just nails all the feels (description and initial reccomendation by @lexascandlestores)

This is heaven in hiding: lawyer multi chapter that’s really good and pretty smutty though! (​)

Markenland Series - there’s just two right now but I think they plan on writing a third. Anyway, very cute, I loved the characterization and the slowburn but not kill me this is taking too long slowburn

More Women than Warriors - I can’t begin to describe how much I love this, one of my favorite things I’ve read of all time. Please read this.

Empath - gay

Love Is Blindness (I Don’t Want to See) - my dad sat next to the daughter of a notorius kingpin when he was in highschool, once she asked to borrow a pencil and never gave it back and he watched her use it for like three months and said nothing. 

Habromaniac: cute one shot ( description and initial reccomendation by @lexascandlestores)

this heart, fossilized and silent (once was tender, and once was violent) - surprisingly little angst after the beginning but in still a very realistic way. very fast paced in terms of action, I certainly was never bored...

Suffrage - there will never be a time when I am not interested in twentieth century, cross dressing, feminist clexa fighting for the rights of women

No Church In The Wild: one of the best heartbreaking canon one shots ever (description and recomendation by @lexascandlestores) 

Kiss Me, Kill Me; It’s Just The Same Isn’t It? - lexark, a little bit of poetic fluff thrown in there but it hit just that perfect mix of clexa and lexark, very good

the earth, that is sufficent - written for clexa week I loved every chapter of it. Each peice was a standalone but also worked cohesively with the others. Flawless, seriously.

Into the Wild Blue - I just love southern clexa okay? Leave me alone

it’s called contraband for a reason - written by one of the best clexa authors of all time it’s hilarious, sweet, in character, poignant and well done. At times the format takes away more than it adds but it allows the reader to compare and contrast the beginning and the end and see the character’s develop more clearly.

there is no sweeter innocence (than our gentle sin) - this author may or may not be a genius Imma go binge all of their works and let you know. This was vv good at least. One shot

we’re only young & naive still (the bittersweet between my teeth) - part of that gaf au (you can find here) that I love so much... just a one shot but the different perspectives are done really well which is a hard thing to do well

Before Words, Beyond Silence, and it’s unfinished sequal, In the Screaming Silence - it has that satisfying instant clexa connection while not sacrificing plot or angst, no trust me, it didn’t sacrifice angst. I think the ice queen plot was a little rushed but it’s still fantastic and I’m excited to see where the sequal goes!

Skylark -  A superhero fic that’s pretty damn cool. Clarke and the gang had illegal experiments done to them by Mount Weather and it gave them superpowers. They fight crime while trying to remain anonymous as well. This story is so clever and incorporates the City of Light/chips/ flame so cool, and Clexa are badasses, and just…read it, trust me. (Description and initial reccomendation done by @dreamsaremywords on this rec list)

You See The Smile That’s On My Mouth (it’s hiding the words that don’t come out) -  A childhood modern au where Clarke and Lexa are fuckin soulmates and best friends and it takes them a ridiculous amount of time to figure that out. (Description and initial reccomendation done by @dreamsaremywords on this rec list)

The World Had Less Color Without You - it’s a college au where Clexa become friends after being paired together for a project, and fall in love even though they’re both terrified of it. (Description and initial reccomendation done by @dreamsaremywords​ on this rec list)

Love on the Ground - This!! fic!!! is fucking fantastic. Canon-verse, angsty, so, so good. Just read it. (Description and initial reccomendation done by @dreamsaremywords​ on this rec list)

Mysteries of Love - There’s another apocalypse, but Clexa are soulmates, and there’s a happy ending. (Description and initial reccomendation done by @dreamsaremywords​ on this rec list)

Essays in Existentialism: FtWD - a writer on tumblr publishes a lot of fics, either multi or oneshots under the ‘essays in exstentialism’ I haven’t read any beyond this lexark multi but this lexark multi was pretty fricken amazing ngl. Unfortunately hasn’t been updated in more than a year so it’s a pretty big risk

You Ask My Name (and All I do is Listen) - I had every sort of feeling about this, it’s super in character and incredibly well done

The Library - a bar au with a perfect mix of instant connection and angst, really well done

possibility days - a celeb au that’s well written and annoyingly filled with useless lesbian themes for both our idiots

Hooked on a feeling - an HP au I waited a million years to be updated and then finally was and what I’m trying to tell you is it’s amazing and worth it and wonderful and fluffy and I’ll love it forever

gera’s step-sister au - a lot of porn, Idk why but I tried to read this a billion years ago but I reread it recently and loved it. But yeah - definition of porn with feelings

Come Morning Light - this author writes a lot of kid fics but this is one of my favorites. In character and well written with a heartbreakingly poetic style. I love it.

most ardently - like some of these authors fics are amazing (like this one) and some are dumb as shit and like? Are there co authors? Are you like multiple people? I don’t know but this was amazing, historical clexa is historical clexa. Has some themes of the suffragette au from my first rec list but carves out a nice space for itself.

Punchline - a oneshot where Clarke wanders around the world and runs into Lexa a lot except it’s angsty and beautiful and there’s a lot of imagery

clexa eternal au - painful heartbreaking well written fantastic. I love most of the stuff by this author too so like you can’t really go wrong

pump mud through my veins - I wasn’t sure about the structure at first but they did something really cool with it and honestly well done

out at sea - okay I saw the tumblr post for this but I gotta say they did something interesting and fun with it and I don’t mind. Well writtten and vv cute

we will meet again - put off reading this because I was prepared for endless heartbreaks. Did happen but totally worth it. Don’t worry there’s a happy ending

Zoo Parks and Restoration - I got annoyed with plot exhaustion but the amount of well done clexa in this made it perfect. I never really like modern aus that much but I love this

The Whore’s Queen - took a little bit to get going but once it did... damn...

We Looked Like Giants - for some reason I put this off but there was no reason to? It’s so good? And very in character?

when my heart is at war - I can’t wait for the sequals, the first one is incredible!

Fall Away - a lot deeper and angstier than the thing got me ready for, really amazing and really well done. Love them lesbians

we could be immortals - put this off for some reason I don’t know why. Very in character, very true to high school I think, and funny and sarcastic and well written. it’s a highschool au but it’s more in character than that, and there’s plenty that links it to canon. I prefer canon tbh, but this was a nice fluff break

The Taste of War and Heartache - angsty and unfinished this is another incredible work by thefooliam. I would ten/ten reccomend because where it leaves off is pretty okay. It’s a canon au but it has some modern elements for those who prefer that. Really a great fic.

Bellamy x Murphy

if you only knew (my heart is breaking) - murphy is immortal and it’s angsty, this actually introduced me to this ship and I don’t normally like mlm but I kinda love this?

cynophilia - geez I don’t know why I love this ship all of a sudden wow

(you owe me twenty) - this actually ends with Murphy and Emori but it’s still super well written and well done

The Good Place

Tahani x Eleanor

True Love Is What Janet and Jianyu Have - this author is actually getting a lot of the second season right tbh

Riverdale/Archie Comics

Beronica

Can I Kiss You?

maybe being in a closet isnt so bad

Real Bisexual Kissing

Thaw - a real fluffy piece that won’t leave you angry and sad at all :)))))))))

Friends Don’t Let Friends Suffer Alone

The list as of 10/1/18

That’s it for now, I’ll probably reblog it with a continued list or post another list later as I go through more fics and more are reccomended and updated and finished. I just thought I’d post it now for obvious reasons...

[souffle-girl-oswin]

Rilaya oneshot

She had gotten an A. For the first time in her entire life, Maya Penelope Hart had gotten an A in school. And you better believe that Maya was proud. But to be honest even though the A thing was all cool, she honestly didn’t want an A if her best friend had gotten her first D. She didn’t mean to be prideful but she just couldn’t help it. After the celebratory dance and putting it on the fridge in the Matthews house she decided maybe she could cheer up Riley.

“It misses you.” She said to Riley, and turned around. But what she didn’t expect was Riley to be right behind her. Maya quickly swallowed anything she was going to say. Nows not a time to be gay Hart. She thought to herself as she quickly turned away. But an image stuck with her. The image of those deep brown pools of eyes. Maya loved Rileys eyes, but that was one of the few moments she’s ever been so close to her friend. And the first thought that crossed though her mind was simple. What would happen if I kissed her? Obviously Maya hart would not a kiss her, that would just be dumb. But to be honest, all this secrecy was catching back up with her. And Maya had a really bad feeling it might end up like Texas again.

That was the last thing Maya needed, a repeat of Texas. The only reason she didn’t want Huckleberry to get on that bull; well two reasons actually. First he would get hurt. Then it would absolutely break Riley. And Maya loved Riley, it would kill her if she was sad. But no, of course Riley thought, “oh you like him! Cause you flirt with him”

Maya only flirted with him because she hoped she would scare Huckleberry away, but to no such luck. In fact, it only made it worse. So then, she hoped maybe Riley would somehow get jealous of Lucas, but to her dismay that plan b a c k f i r e d.

And here she was filled with the utmost gay feelings for her best friend. And to be honest, it had started to eat her up, feeling guilty in so many ways, so instead she just tried to hide it.

[baywindowproductions]

MAJOR UPDATE ON RILAYA ONESHOT

Guys!!!!! I'm just about finished with my first Rilaya oneshot!!!! I've got the whole thing (finally) written out, but I need a beta reader to go over it before it gets published.

If you want to be a beta reader for it, reblog with "me" or PM me to let me know!

[baywindowproductions]

Fanfic Prompt Idea

Fluffy OneShot of Rilaya being the cute-ass girlfriends they are while watching Booksmart 😍🌈📚🎓

[baywindowproductions]

A/N on Upcoming Rilaya Oneshot

Got back to work on the Rilaya oneshot I promised after hitting 100 followers (lol oops), and I think I'm (finally) nearly finished with it!!!!!!!

So yeah, make sure to keep an eye out for that sometime in (hopefully) the near future!!! 😄😄😄😄😄

[baywindowproductions]

Rilaya Fic Prompt

Can someone please write a oneshot of Rilaya based off of that one scene in Goodbye where Riley's like, "What?!? You're too far away now!!"

And Maya sort of smirks at her and quirks an eyebrow, before she says, "How much closer do you want me, Matthews?" as she steadily steps closer to her.

And she continues asking and moving closer until they.... well, you know.

[sabrinasfadingmoon]

I need to be told to stop thinking about soulmate prompts because I start writing them and then can never finish them but still continue to think about more soulmate prompts because there is something so comforting about having a forever and I am so attached to soulmates like *please* I am 6k words into another rilaya soulmate oneshot…we will see how it goes I really want to finish this one but idk if I can

[baywindowproductions]

Okay, so you know the oneshot I promised all of you guys for getting my first 100 followers? Yeah….. way too late to make a celebration post for that! 😂 So I decided I’ll be using it as the pilot film, for the Rilaya Indie Project. My only question is, would you guys like me to post the story on here (as well as Wattpad, Ao3, etc.) and then make the film, or just make it a short film instead?

[baywindowproductions]

1. In the episode when Riley and Maya are older, the little Maya and our Maya both go ew when they show older Riley and Maya lean in once and the camera cuts away. I have assumed that they kiss. I think it is a good point that they are saying goodbye to one another, but it is a good point that Riley goes with her, as in, they might be saying goodbye to the room or their childhood. I definitely think they could work on that and do something really interesting there.

Yeah, you can definitely see that, in the way the older Rilaya look at each other in that scene (as well as both little/present Maya showing disgust), that's probably what was happening. Especially considering the fact that Maya also says "ew" in that one scene in Girl Meets I Do, when she's giving a Lucas impression to a "sleeping" Riley about wanting to kiss her face - and the latter kisses the air. xD But since the show is presumably not coming back (at least not for right now), it seems like the only way we'll probably ever get that is through fans writing their own oneshots/drabbles of the scene in question.In which case - GET ON IT, GUYS!!!!

[onceuponawar]

drown - rilaya oneshot

this was first posted on wattpad, but I wanted to share it with you all on here as well! I hope you enjoy!

"whatever happened to her?"

"that gap year really messed her up."

"what has she done to her hair?"

"what's up with her clothes?"

riley picked up the pace, hands going deeper into her pockets and her shoulders hunching even farther in upon themselves. they don't know anything about you, she told herself, not anymore. they have no idea what you've been through, what you've suffered. but her backpack still felt more like a large boulder sitting on her shoulders,  eternally weighing her down.

you know that you deserve it, what they say. everything that happened was all your fault anyway. everything you touch you destroy. you deserve it, you know you do. the small voice whispered in her head maliciously. she winced after every word, barely able to take the truth ringing through her ears. the voice also had told her once, right after the divorce, that the truth hurt, more than the lies-she agreed wholeheartedly.

"riley?!" the voice was deep, smooth and incredulous. had she reached the hallway? she barely remembered the walk there.

"riley!" the same voice, a snap in front of her downward cast eyes. the voice in her head was laughing: you deserve it, you deserve it. over and over and over and over.

she looked up slowly, letting her hair fall into her eyes as she did. lucas friar. she knew his voice of course, she'd heard it mocking her in her sleep for the past twelve months, but she'd had a small sense of hope that it wouldn't be him. no such luck, she should've known.

"riley, what did you do to your hair?" of course, she thought, not a how are you or a what happened or why did you just leave without so much as a phone call. just a what did you do to your hair, obviously. looks always mattered more to him than personality, she should've known.

all the same, she moved to stroke it self consciously. was it really that awful? she knew it was different, but was it that so bad that two people within five minutes had questioned it like it was disgusting? what if she looked like a freak, what if people saw her-

"obviously, luke, she chopped her hair into a boy cut, dyed it a really dark brown and. . . added a fringe?" farkle appeared from nowhere and was the next to speak, he sounded just as confused as lucas. she recoiled slightly, the way he described it sounded just like the way her father had-almost disappointed. that was not a good thing. oh god, she should've known nothing would be different here. why did she even bother trying? everything was pointless, there was no escaping it. everywhere she went misery followed, by now she should've just been prepared for more disappointment. not happiness, there was no such thing.

"hey luke, farkle, who's th-riles?!" maya ran up behind the two boys, pecking lucas on the cheek before taking notice of her. she looked more beautiful than ever, her blonde hair had grown out few inches and she was no longer short by any means. the long, tan legs proved that much. her blue eyes shone brightly, a large, white toothed smile on her face. and with her perfectly curled hair up in a high ponytail and her long fingernails painted teal she looked like the cliche popular girl in every movie. which seemed to be the actual case, seeing as everyone seemed to hover around her like she was the center of everything.

"hey maya," she said, voice cracking as she did so. she was unsure of when maya hart, her best friend, her bad influence, her peaches, had began to intimidate her. all she knew was that right now she wanted to run and hide and never see the light of day again.

"riley!" maya rushed towards her and enveloped her in a hug so tight riley couldn't even move her arms to return it. the blonde's voice had become at least two octaves higher in the past year, she noted with a frown. that was not maya at all, the voice, the hair, the nails, the clothes, the- oh god. where those heels?! riley couldn't move for at least five seconds after her friend released her. what had she missed? did something she do make maya become this unlike herself?! what could have possibly happened to her tomboy, rebellious best friend? "you look. . . different."

"i look different?" riley couldn't even stop herself before the words came tumbling out of her mouth. she was incredulous. surely her completely black outfit and new haircut was nothing compared to this, this girly girl maya standing in front of her! right?!

"hey, don't talk to her like that, you em-matthews!" sarah yelled, coming between the two quickly. her hair was in a ponytail identical to maya's, her glasses nowhere to be seen, riley noticed. maybe it was a symbol of some sort. here i am, i am way different than i was a year ago! because this was completely unlike the sarah she'd left behind, the exact opposite almost. she squeezed her eyes shut, taking a shaky breath.

"l-lawrence." it was the first time she'd spoken it aloud and somehow it made everything, the past god awful year, so much more real. her parents, the great cory and topanga, were no longer together. she was no longer a matthews. her world was not the same, it was no longer her own. and it never would be again. if there had been another tear, one that had not been shed in the past twelve months, in her body it would have been rolling down her cheek.

"excuse me?" sarah sneered, in a mean girl kind of way that she would have never thought possible of shy, sweet sarah, crossing her arms over her chest even though it was impossible that she'd not heard her loud and clear. and yet the only thing riley noticed was that maya was making no move to remove her from their previously private reunion, or to stop her from doing anything, actually.

which is why, when sarah's open palm came crashing against her cheek, the brunette didn't so much as even utter a gasp. she stumbled back quite a few steps back, yes, but no noise of protest was made. the voice was still sing-songing in the back of her head: you deserve it, you deserve it, you deserve it, which made it impossible to even think of standing up for herself.

"hey, sarah, enough!" maya's voice was clipped, dismissive, annoyed, even. angry. she pushed the girl backwards by her shoulder and sarah retreated behind her obediently. riley felt dizzy, though not from the slap she'd just taken. she had body guards protecting her. when had maya hart ever not been able to protect herself?

"riley-"

she didn't even get a chance to finish whatever lame apology she was abut to spit out. riley shoved past her, rage filling her, her emotions running rampant, the bell ringing in perfect time with her exit.

it had been a month, maybe two, after the divorce that riley had realized that the feelings she had toward her best friend were not as platonic as she'd been lying to herself about for the past four years. the first few months after it happened and she had moved in with her mother she had been forced to search through her feelings over and over again. at the time she'd been searching for anything she'd missed before she found the divorce papers laying on the kitchen counter, but inevitably all the lies, about her love life and sexuality, had come forward to taunt her even further in that horrid time. and, honestly, even though she had been very good at living a lie, a lot had slipped through her cracks, looking back. the way she had sometimes stared for a little too long, how they could barely be in the same room without them touching in some way, the way their "i love you"s were infinitely more intimate than those of people who were "just friends". none of it mattered now though, because the maya riley had been slowly falling in love with for the past nine years was not the same maya she had just encountered.

she strutted into the classroom, throwing her books on the desk furthest in the back, too overrun with emotions to even take in who's class she was in. and, hell, if she'd had a bad morning thus far, then that was only the tip of the iceberg.

"morning, matthews." one kid said after the other as they all filed into the classroom. riley felt sick to her stomach, but there was no escape now. not without a class full off children mocking her at least. maya and lucas were the last two to walk in, both red faced as if they'd been fighting. she dropped further down in her seat.

"today we're talking about true love. what is it?" mr. matthews wrote the topic in the board and smiled that oh-so-friendly smile of his, but riley was disgusted. apparently he hadn't stopped pandering to his favorite student's problem of the week, definitely not by the way he was eyeing maya and lucas. she just hadn't noticed how annoying it was until now.

"it doesn't exist, sir," farkle piped up, ever prepared to give a perfect response. something that used to make her smile, but now it only filled her with a certain nostalgia she wasn't in the mood to have piled on top of everything else. "true love is just a fragment of all of our imaginations. nothing is ever truly pure, just like no line is ever truly straight."

"on the contrary farkle, i believe in true love. i've felt it."

riley gave an involuntary loud snort, causing everyone to turn towards her expectantly. she turned red at the sudden attention and the voice in her head was screaming at her that she was a moron to even open her mouth again, but she continued anyway. "with who? because it sure as hell wasn't my mother."

"now ri-miss lawrence, why would you say that?" he began to stutter, stumbling over her name.

she barked another laugh, though this time is was significantly less confident. saying this was tearing out every stitch she'd used to sew the wounds in her heart back together. "that is exactly the reason why! your daughter doesn't even share your last name anymore because you don't know what true love is! your children are torn to pieces because you took true love for granted!" she didn't remember when she had stood up, beginning to lean over her desk, yelling in the direction of a man she no longer considered father. "don't talk to me about true love cory matthews! because unless you consider the filthy act of adultery you committed with your precious lauren true then you have no fucking idea!"

silence. absolute, utter, complete silence. she shivered. this total absence of sound was exactly like the nights of the past year. as she remembered those quiet late hours that lead into even more silent mornings she tensed, horrid memories flooding in unwillingly. and just like that every ounce of confidence, of self worth, of hatred, of hope, of happiness drained from her body. there was just nothing left. she was an empty shell of the riley matthews she used to be. she knew it, everyone knew it.

so she stood up, never once making eye contact with anyone, walked towards the door and grasped the freezing handle. she had just enough vengeance left in her to whisper, so only her father could hear: "i hope you know it destroyed her, too."

and she slammed the door behind her. no one following, no one whispering a word.

riley ran and ran and ran and ran and ran until she could no longer feel her feet or know where she was going. when she tried to stop, the image of her mother's pitiful, cripplingly sad face after finding her father in bed with another woman filled her consciousness and she pressed forward, needing as much distance as possible between her and him.

she remembered, about a week after her mother had explained the cheating and the divorce to her, when the voice showed up. at first it was small, very faint, whispers. things that made her feel bad, yes, but never anything extreme. then, after the first month in full custody of her mom where the great topanga lawrence cried herself to sleep every night and barely ever spoke during the days, it got louder. screaming that it was all her fault that her mother was this way, that she could've done something to stop all this, that is was all her fault, that she was the reason her family was in shambles.

and that had been when she'd tried to kill herself.

she felt like nothing, like she was the scum that was at the bottom of the pond, all the time. her mother never spoke to her, if she did it was in violent choked sobs. she didn't have her father there to teach a lesson and make it better. her brother wasn't there to cuddle her, tell her that she was worth it, that she was the best big sister ever. she had no friends to comfort her, to pick her back up like they'd always done. everyone at her new, private school thought she was a freak and refused to talk to her. she had no one left to vent these awful feelings to. so she had vented them on herself instead.

it was scary to riley that, when the time came that she wanted to end it all, she knew exactly how she wanted it done. like it was just a subconscious, obvious decision that had been building over so much time. so that thursday, as soon as she walked in the door after school, she retreated to her mother's medicine cabinet. she would hate for it to be bloody and make more of a mess for everyone. it was simple: she threw as many pills as possible in her mouth and eventually her world to faded to black. it had been just her rotten luck that her mom had found her before it was too late to save what was left of her beating heart. she'd woken up in a hospital two days later, cursing everything that these people wouldn't just let her do what she wanted with her life. it wasn't their suffering after all.

even now she cursed them, as she ran out the school's back doors and into a small courtyard with thick and heavy tears blurring her vision. the voice continued to mock: you deserve it, you deserve it, you deserve it. she sat like that for a long time, collapsed in the dewy grass on her knees, crying over it all: her family, her friends, maya. stupid, stupid, stupid, maya. and just like she'd heard riley's internal cries, a giant tan blur with blonde hair came into view

"riley," maya said, voice thick with emotion, kneeling on the ground in front of her best friend, pulling her in close.

"fuck off," riley replied viciously, shoving her away. no one got to see her so deteriorated, no one got to comfort her. she didn't deserve it.

"no i won't 'fuck off'! come here." maya neared her once again, arms wide. riley put one finger on her soft pink lips.

"if you do i'll scream rape as loud as i can. don't test me, hart." the blonde believed her, her face, even though it was wet with tears, was completely relaxed. something maya had begun to know as her tell. so she backed up six small steps and sat cross legged in the grass.

"he locked up the bay window, you know. from the inside." riley lifted her head and stared at maya in astonishment. she knew she was falling her friend's trap of 'get her attention' but she didn't care. when she and her mother had moved to a new apartment the bay window had stayed with auggie and her father, something she had been beyond crushed about. at many points of the last year all she's wanted was the window's sense of security (though she figured later it was less the window itself and more maya in the window). her best friend knew she'd give anything to know how their safe place was doing. "and for so long i thought you were locking me out, until i realized the sheets on the bed weren't yours and the photos on the wall where stock. i was terrified, riles. i thought you left me forever."

that pushed her over the edge. riley flung herself at the blonde, not listening to the voice or even thinking twice before she did so. they both toppled back onto the grass, she on top and maya on the bottom. when she thought of all the things that had drained from her body in the instant she thought of those dark, suicidal nights, her love for her best friend was not one. it might as well have been a part of her shell by now, everything else could drain from her and that unconditional love would still be hardwired into her very core. maybe that was why she was more aware of their current position than maya was, because maya could pass this all of as friendly in her own straight-as-a-pencil brain. riley could not.

"what did you do?" she whispered intensely, staring into the blonde's clouded blue eyes.

"i stopped going," maya said, biting her lip. her eyes went from clouded to teary. "i would go and i would sit and i would wait for the window to open and your face to pop through like nothing had changed. you never showed up. no one would tell me what was going on, riley, i thought you had just abandoned me, so i stopped going. after that i changed. you weren't there to lead the school, to make them happy. so i took the job, or tried to. i became what they wanted me to be." her eyes drifted from the ground back up into riley's dark, intense stare. "divorce?"

she nodded. "peaches, it was so awful-"

"it's okay," she murmured. "i'll make sure it's okay for the rest of time." she grasped riley's wrist tightly for reinforcement as she had done many times before, but this time it caused the brunette to violently flinch. maya's brow furrowed in confusion. "what? are you okay?"

riley's eyes went wide and she nodded fiercely, pulling herself off of her best friend quickly. if the blonde girl had not been concerned before, she certainly was now. this wasn't riley.

"riley, give me your arm."

the tears, which had just begun to dry, started dripping from her puffy eyes again. she shook her head, teeth digging into her lower lip,  cradling her arm.

"riley give me your arm!" maya lurched towards her, knowing she was pushing it, but doing it anyway and yanking down the sleeve of her black knit jacket. all across her pale arm were even whiter scars, some more recent looking, some older. every one in perfectly straight lines all the way down her forearm. painfully obviously self inflicted.

riley's face scrunched up in a way that reminded her of in middle school when she had been bullied just for being unique. fat tears were rolling down her cheeks quickly, her words full of pain when she spoke.

"i-it was so awful, maya-"

maya cut her off again by pulling the brunette's scar covered forearm up to her lips. at first riley protested, but then fell silent as, slowly, maya kissed every single line across the skin, all the way up to her elbow. besides the rough cuts, riley's skin was soft against her chapped lips, just like she'd always expected. maya couldn't bring herself to stop there. she continued kissing up her upper arm. when she hit riley's neck the girl gave a loud gasp, but never broke her stare trained on maya's face. it was a good thing too, because the blonde didn't stop. if it were truly up to her, she probably never would have.

neck.

"promise me we'll always be together."

jaw.

"we will always be together."

chin.

"then i'll use that forever to piece you back together again, riley matthews, i swear it."

lips.

"then it's good."