#riley's parents in this episode

[horror-aesthete]

Midnight Mass, 2021, dir. Mike Flanagan

Book VII: Revelation

[ellowynthenotking]

Apr 12

Dear Dad,

That was a huge waste of time. An unbelievably huge, massive, colossal, gigantic waste of time!

I can’t believe we fell for it, and I can’t believe other people keep falling for it! Hundreds of people have gone into this wizard circle for help, but they can’t really help anyone! 

We should have known better. I mean, I should have known better. With all the people we’ve seen and talked to. We should have known that none of them would actually help us. No one in this world is actually able or willing to help us. They just don’t want to help us. They give us just enough hope to go on to the next place, so we stop bothering them and move on to the next people. 

Just one after another. That’s all they do, all they’re willing to do. Just get us out of their hair or use us until they can get rid of us. It’s ridiculous, it’s insane, it’s so, so so mean. Why not just help us? Or just tell us that you can’t actually help us? 

I mean, the people at the temples have been telling us that all along. Because they know that it’s what’s actually important. Actually, right, one might even say. Because we deserve to know if you can’t actually help us. It’s not like we’ve gotten mad at anyone for not being able to help us. Usually, we just try to get them to point us in the right direction. Which isn’t hard at all! Even if I don’t know where something or someone is, I can usually at least point someone in the right direction.

But then again, maybe that’s what these people have been doing. Doing that, they think, is pointing us in the right direction when really they don’t even know where the right direction is. Maybe in their minds, it’s better than nothing. 

But it still hasn’t actually helped us at all. It’s done nothing, nothing at all for us. All it’s done is send us further and further away from where we started with no actual certainty of anything.

And these guys are the worst of all the people we’ve run into. They didn’t even try to actually help. I doubt that they’ve actually helped anyone! They’re not even wizards! The so-called wizards are actually just a bunch of dudes in a castle using magic items to pretend to be great and powerful wizards. They don’t even know how to use half the stuff that they’ve gotten stashed away. They just take all these insane, potentially helpful to someone magic items, and they hide them away from the world, using them to convince people they’re the ones with magic, and then they take more of the mafic items in trade. 

There was nothing there that could help us, because they weren’t actually any people who could help us, and they didn’t actually have any items that could have helped us. It was all duds, all of it.

They tried to do their drama theater show on us to show how magic-y they are. But I could see when they used scrolls and items for it. And Zunair called them out for using ambiance music in the place to make it seem more mystical. Grace was the one who actually tore into them for it all, though. When we pointed out all the items that they were using to give us a sham show of power, she was probably more mad than the rest of us. She tore them to shreds, asking what they did, where they got the items, how they could do what they were doing, and calling them scam artists to their faces. 

I thought she was actually going to attack them, but the most she did was break one of the wands that the guy at the front had, which was mostly just making bright and shiny lights, which was kind of amazing and terrifying. At least, it really terrified the stupid fake wizards. We interrogated them to see if they had anything, anything at all that might be able to help us, but the most useful thing they had was a scrying bowl. But since we didn’t know exactly what we were looking for or where it was, it was useless to us. 

A castle full of stuff, full of magic, and we couldn’t even get directions from them.

They wasted our time, they wasted our money, they’re absolutely useless.

I can’t believe they have an entire city, not just an entire city, but an entire kingdom, really, fooled. Convinced that they’re these great and powerful wizards when they’re just fancy con artists. I mean, someone else’s gotta know, right? That they’re just taking people's time and money. Tricking people, good people, probably. Cause of what, money? The illusion of power? 

Bastards, the lot of them. I hope something terrible happens to their castle and all their magic items get spread to the corners of this world.  

We wasted days, Dad. We wasted so much time looking to get here and looking for them, looking for work to pay them. All for what, for them not even to be able to help us. They can’t even point us to someone else who might be able to help us because they’re fakes. Big fakes. The fakiest fakes to ever fake in this kingdom. 

I wanted to yell at them more. I wanted to scream at them. I wanted to take everything from them and show it to the world. 

We should have grabbed a few things out of their stocks. They weren’t even using most of it, just showing it off and hoarding it like terrible fake dragons. Using it to make themselves look good. I’m sure there was stuff in there that we could have actually used. Something that might have actually been able to help us later on, or that we could have sold to help fund other research, other things that might have been able to help us. 

Wasted so much time. I can’t believe it. And there wasn’t even anything to show for it. We didn’t get anything from them, didn’t have any items to show, didn’t have any directions. 

We didn’t get home, god I can’t believe I was so stupid to believe that they would acutally be able to get us home. 

It hasn’t happened do far, why would it happen now? Just cause we waited in line? Just cause we thought that it might be able to help us?

No, it was a dumb ploy, a dumb con, and we fell for it: hook, line, and sinker. I can’t believe that we were so dumb.

We’re going to keep on through the city, but if the cult was looking for us here, they might have more than caught up. We still have the temples to look through. The one we’re staying at, Willow, is covering, so tomorrow, one of the others and I are going to go look for the other temples and see if they have anything or might be able to help us in some way. I’m not going to get my hopes up again. I’m going to stay firmly in the “we’re not getting home, but I’m gonna keep trying” camp until we’re actually home. It might help, it might not, but I can’t keep hoping like this. It’s hurting me, really hurting me, I think, to hope so much and to keep having it dashed on the rocks like this.

The time wasted is going to come back to haunt us, I’m sure. I’m hoping the cultists aren’t still following us because if they have been, they’re already 4 days closer to us because of all the time wasted. Time was wasted waiting outside the city, time wasted just finding a place to sleep, and then even more time was wasted at the door of the stupid wizards and their stupid castle. The stupid fake wizards. How many people have they tricked? Is there even a point to this? To all of it? 

Are the cultists looking for anything, too, or are they just going to hunt us down to do terrible things to us, too? I mean, what are we even going to do if they catch up with us again? There’s no real answer because the answer is probably going to be something terrible.

I want to go home, that’s all I want. I want to not be here, I want to be able to see the world again without worrying about cultists of all things. I want to be able to sleep in a bed that I don’t have to barter for. I want to know what else the cultists are planning, if they catch up to us, I don’t have to wonder about them too. 

I don’t want theme to catch up with us at all. I want them gone. I want us gone. 

I want to find a way home in one of these libraries. So I’m going to keep looking for a way, home, but I”m not going to trust anyone elses’ word on it. I can’t. 

I don’t know how the others feel. I don’t know if I want to know. I want to go home.

We don’t even know where to go or what to do next. We’re just fumbling around, hoping that the way home is something we’ll be able to find, and find soon. But I don’t know if it is something we’ll find or find soon.

I wonder if the Seers were even telling the truth. We trusted them, too, and I don’t know if we can actually trust them. 

I don’t know if I can trust anyone.

I can’t stop, though. I don’t know what I’ll do if I stop. Maybe die like a shark.

Jack

Read the rest of the series here: 

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[jolivira]

thinking about how riley was ellie's protector at school, beating up whoever messed with her and unconciously showed ellie how to stand up for herself once she left, much how joel taught her to hold a gun and from watching him ellie learned how to use other weapons (shotgun, bow, etc)

the whole date at the mall also reminded me of the time joel took ellie to a museum, in tlou2, feeding into her innocence and doing everything to make her happy

in a way riley is exactly like joel and bill, the kind of person that protects and would drop everything for who they love

furthermore given how much trauma ellie has on losing her protective figure not only once but twice, it suddenly makes a ton of sense how (spoilers for tlou part 2) once she herself had to become the protector of dina and her baby, ellie just couldnt let go of her pain

[number-1-kuaidul-fanboy]

AU idea where instead of ruining Riley's arc, either Leo or Henrietta is the one to get de-aged into a baby Z-Arc vessel and Declan and Riley just:

[lxvvie]

On today's episode of Simps-R-Us: A Guy and his... pet(s), or You, Your Faves, and your fur/feathered/fin-babies:

Capt. John Price - Standing ten toes down on this: Price would have two small, cute dogs, one named Sir Peabody and the other named Lady Marie. You two spoil them something fierce and they have a pile of little doggy hats that match their beloved papa's... much to his chagrin.

Gaz - Gaz said he'd surprise you and surprise you he did. He came home with a cockatoo. A damn cockatoo. Jokes on him, though, because your bird baby absolutely loves to prank the shit out of Gaz, too, by mimicking your voice when you're away and making him jump. Jokes on both of you now, because Soap has taught him how to curse and that's all he does now, Scottish accent and all. You have a picture saved of the bird (named Buttercup) on top of Gaz's head.

Alex Keller - Has the most gremlin Donskoy (named Brunswick) to ever gremlin, complete with the wide stormy eyes, which is funny because Keller can sometimes make a face that's very much gremlin-esque and the two greatly resemble each other. Can usually be found making biscuits on Alex's head.

Soap - Has a Labrador named Whiskey that he absolutely adores. Whiskey has also put you two in the most adorable of love triangles where you don't know whose affection you're playfully fighting for on any given day. Also has a tendency to take Soap's socks and he has to chase him throughout the house. Well, he and Whiskey are chasing each other throughout the house just about constantly.

Ghost - You guys talked about it but he surprised you one day by bringing home a Belgian Mal puppers who didn't make the unit. His name? Pup. Pup Riley. And Pup Riley is a ball of energy. Bloody hell. He always assumes he's going for a walk whenever you two make ready to leave. He also won't let Simon leave without him and so Simon usually has to create a diversion just to walk out the front door. It's also not uncommon for Pup to jump on his Papa whenever he gets home, too. Oh, did we also talk about the fact that Simon has to fight with Pup for his side of the bed whenever he's home or that Pup wakes him up early in the damn morning to take him out for his first walk of the day?

Roach - Found a stray kitten and brought her home. Her name's Oatmeal. Oatmeal is now the chonkiest, cutest loaf (you send Roach various pictures of her Loafiness). You two also bought her a set of those pet buttons just for shits and giggles and Oatmeal's really caught on to them. She uses "Dad", "Mad", and "Food" a lot even though she stays fed lmao.

Keegan - To everyone's surprise (and his own), has a husky named Balto who ignores the concept of personal space, loves to put his paw right in the middle of Keegan's face, and has pissed on Keegan's boots more than once because Balto felt slighted (you had to go to the groomer's, buddy, you rolled in mud). You and Keegan have also lost count of the number of times you've had to carry Balto into the house because he refuses to come inside, especially when it’s cold.

Alejandro - You two adopted a senior dog named Mojo who is the most peaceful little angel. Can usually be found lying near yours or Alejo's feet as you're working or something of that nature.

Rudy - You two have this huge ass tank full of fish that run the gamut of the rainbow and you remember all their names. The brooding one is named Alejandro and his namesake was not amused lmao.

König - You two have a small but floofy cat. She's black with a grey undercoat that he calls his "little Prinzessin" and she always looks like she's in a constant state of surprise. Whenever she blinks or closes her eyes, she becomes a floofy void. Her Highness prefers to be carried like a baby, thank you very much.

Phillip Graves - You two are the proud parents of a Bulldog named Bubba who thinks he has his humans trained (spoiler alert: he kinda does). Bubba Graves makes your day with the way he silently judges his parents, throws a tantrum when he doesn't get more food or pets, and usually has Philip sigh facetiously and go, "Now, son, why can't you behave for your old man, huh?"

[theabigailthorn]

thank you (& November & Devon) for talking about the case report on TrashFuture! I can’t make myself read the thing (plus I have uni essays to write so don’t have the time) but now I can explain why it’s shit to my parents

and thank you all for what you said at the end - it was really impactful & made me cry. I’d already pledged to myself not to become another one of those statistics but hearing that from three people I look up to helps to cement that commitment to live even though things are fucked

I was proud of that episode, I think we did some moral good by making it if nothing else. I'm glad it's a useful resource for you

[lee-laurent]

Picture Perfect - Luke Hughes

Summary: There was a reason that Tori and John broke up. Was there not?

content: children, angst, fluff, mentions of breakups, kissing, mentions of sex but no actual smut, mentions of pregnancy, crying, oc x ex!john marino

wc: 4.5k

notes: PART 8!! we're wrapping up guys! there are gonna be 10 parts, so the end is in sight. so happy that ppl have enjoyed this series!! :)

John's shirt was soaked, but he really couldn't have cared less. He was spending quality time with Riley. Getting to spend more time with his son than he almost ever had.

Riley giggled, launching his rubber duck off the faucet and into the bubbles below. He turned, making sure that his dad, who was sitting on the floor next to the tub, had seen the splash that the duck at made.

"Oo' watchin', Dada?" Riley beamed, clapping his hands as the duck resurfaced.

"I am! Very impressive, bud," he chuckled, scooping up some of the bubbles and placing them on Riley's head. The toddler giggled again, smacking the water with his hands. John lived for moments like that. Moments where he wasn't a professional hockey player. Moments where he was one thing and one thing only--Riley's dad.

"More! More!" Riley demanded, scooting forward to put the duck back on the faucet. He gave it a little push and it fell into the water with a plonk. His giggles filled the room again, kicking his legs to make waves that the duck "surfed" on.

John couldn't help but wonder how many moments like that he'd missed because of his career. How many bathtimes? How many storybooks? How many nights spent cuddling because Riley couldn't sleep? How many nights spent ridding the closet of monsters? Sure things with Tori were complicated, but he didn't want to miss out on those moments anymore.

"Alright, Ri-Ri, time to wash up before Mama gets on our case," John said, gently pulling the duck from Riley's grasp and reaching for the washcloth.

"Noooo, more ducky!"

"Hey, hey, no pouting. If we wash up fast and get all clean, maybe Mama will let us watch Scooby Doo before bed. What do you think?"

Riley blinked, considering the offer before finally nodding. "Otay, Dada."

John smiled, relived that he didn't have to deal with a tantrum. He reached for the Spiderman themed "no-tears" shampoo and body wash. Riley giggled as John created a mohawk using the watermelon-scented soap.

"Rockstar Riley."

"Woc-staw Wiley."

"That's right, Rockstar Riley," he said, carefully washing the suds out with a cup of warm water. The bath was winding down, and Riley seemed far more relaxed since the promise of watching Scooby Doo.

Once Riley was clean and towel-wrapped, John hoisted him out of the tub, careful to balance him on his hip as they headed to the bedroom. Tori met them in the hall, smiling when she saw Riley's sleepy eyes peeking out from under the towel.

"Looks like bathtime was a success."

"Yeah, we had a blast," John replied, rocking the bundled toddler back and forth.

"Watch 'Ooby Doo!" Riley piped up, his voice full of energy despite his half-closed eyes.

"Alright, but just one episode. Bedtime is soon."

"Otay, Mama."

Once pajamas were on, they settled into the living room, Riley snuggled between his parents on the couch. John sat back, his arm on the back of the sofa, while Riley rested his head on Tori's chest. His eyelids grew heavier with each passing moment but he refused to fall asleep.

"This... this feels right," John said quietly, more to himself than anyone.

"Yeah... it does."

The credits rolled and John picked up a sleeping Riley. "I'll put him down."

"He, uh, he needs a sleep sack... so he doesn't climb out."

"I know, Tori. He's slept at mine," John grinned, shaking his head.

"Right. I... I forgot."

"I'll be back."

"Night, Ri-Ri. Mama loves you," she mumbled, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

~~

"You heading out?" Tori asked, pausing the episode of Gossip Girl she had put on.

"I, uh, I assumed I was sleeping over."

"Sleeping over?"

John rubbed the back of his neck, "I just figured, since Ri's asleep and I did last night... maybe I'd stay again tonight."

Tori stared at him a moment, processing his words. Having him stay the first night had been because she needed him for support, the second night had been a moment of passion, but a third night? That felt different in her mind. It felt like they were sliding back into something they shouldn't. Especially since she and Luke hadn't officially... broken up.

"John... I don't know if that's a good idea."

"Why not? I mean, Riley's asleep, and we've had a good couple days. Why make things harder?"

She sighed, pulling her legs up against her chest. "It's not about making things harder. It's about... what's right. We haven't really talked about what's happening between us. And I don't think we can just fall back into this without figuring things out."

"I'm not saying we have to figure everything out tonight, Tori. But things have been working well. And I've missed so much not being here... I just-"

Tori swallowed, guilt twisting in her chest. She missed the simplicity of having John around too. The easy routine, the helping hands when it came to having a toddler, the family dynamic she'd always wanted for Riley. But what if their old issues snuck their way back in?

"And Luke," she said softly, not meeting John's eyes. "Things with Luke... we haven't officially broken up."

John tensed, "Right. Luke."

Tori winced at the bitterness in his voice. "It's complicated, John. You know that."

"It's always complicated with him, isn't it?" John muttered. "You're not with him, but you're not breaking up with him either. Meanwhile, you're having sex with me. I'm trying to figure out where I stand. Am I supposed to just wait around, Victoria?"

"That's not what I'm asking for. I just... we need to slow down. For our sake. For Riley's sake."

John just exhaled sharply, crossing his arms over his chest, but gave a nod. "I get it. You're right. I just... I need to be here, Tori. To be with Riley. To be with... I'll go. But I'm coming over after the game tomorrow night."

She stood up, walking him to the door, hoping that she'd made the right decision. "Thanks for understanding," she murmured.

"I'm always here for my son. Just, uh, I'll text tomorrow."

"Okay. Night, John."

"Goodnight, Tori."

It wasn't until she heard the click of the lock that she felt like she could breathe. She went into the kitchen, popping open a bottle of wine, before settling back onto the couch to finish her show. Why couldn't her life be easier?

~~

Tori woke up to Gossip Girl still playing on the TV. She blinked, groggy, realizing that she had fallen asleep on the couch. The empty glass of wine on the coffee table in front of her, a reminder of the emotionally charged conversation she'd had with John.

She stretched, rubbing her temples, but before she could get up to make herself a cup of coffee, Riley's voice echoed from his bedroom.

"Mama! Where Dada?"

Tori felt her heart sink. Riley's voice was getting louder, more insistent, and the last thing she wanted to deal with was a tantrum. So, she pulled herself up from the couch and made her way down the hall.

"Mama's coming! Mama's coming, baby!"

She opened the door to find Riley standing in his crib, his hands gripping the wooden rail, eyes wide and expectant.

"Where Dada?"

"Dada went home, sweetpea. He had to get ready for his game today."

"But who play dinos?"

Tori lifted him from his crib, holding him close. "I know, Ri-Ri. We'll see Dada soon, I promise."

"'oon?"

"Yes, baby. After his game, okay? He loves playing with you, remember?"

Riley nodded, "Play now?"

Tori hated this. Hated how complicated everything felt. She wanted Riley to be happy, to have the world he deserved--one where his dad was there when he wanted. But things didn't fall into place that easily. Last night had reminded her of how stubborn John could be, but maybe he could get over that for Riley.

"How about we eat breakfast first? Then maybe we can call Dada?"

"Otay."

Tori placed him in his high chair, getting him a bowl of cheerios and blueberries together. She knew deep down that he'd play with them more than he'd eat them, but she really wasn't in the mood to make pancakes or waffles.

"Mama?" he asked, sticking cheerios to his spit covered hand.

"Yes, baby?"

"Dada come home?"

She sighed, "We'll see him soon, Ri-Ri."

"'Uke?"

Tori nearly dropped her mug on the floor, her breath catching in her throat. She hadn't expected Riley to ask about him, especially when he seemed so fixated on his dad. She turned to look at him, placing her coffee down for safety.

"Luke?" she repeated, brushing his curls from his face.

Riley nodded, poking at another Cheerio. "Dada no play. 'Uke play?"

His innocent question cut deeper than she had expected. He had grown fond of Luke, and Tori now had to face that fact that Luke had been more than a casual part of Riley's life.

"Luke's... busy right now, baby."

"'ockey?"

"Yes, Luke's busy with hockey. So, he's not coming over today."

Riley's face scrunched up in disappointment, but he didn't press further. He instead just grabbed a blueberry and squished it under his finger.

"Don't play with your food, Riley. It's for eating."

"Otay," he replied, clearly not listening as he squished another berry. Tori just rolled her eyes, letting it go. She grabbed her coffee, leaning against the window. She had already felt bad about asking John to leave the previous night, and now Riley was asking for not just his dad but also Luke. She felt so stuck, like she was being pulled in two directions at once. On one hand was John, the father of her child. On the other, Luke, who had shown her a different kind of love, one that made her feel seen. Like she was more than just Riley's mom.

Her phone buzzed and she picked it up, hoping it would be Luke. But her prayers remained unanswered... it was just John.

Hope Ri slept well. I'll be by after game, like we talked about.

They hadn't really "talked" about it. He'd just kind of stated that he would be by after the game. It didn't really seem like Tori had much choice in the matter.

"Mama! Dinos?"

She shook herself from her daze, grabbing a washcloth to clean up Riley. "Dinos it is."

~~

When 7 o'clock rolled around, Tori had Riley sat in the living room in his 'Marino' jersey, playing dinos with the game on the TV. Even though he seemed only interested in his toys, Tori knew that the moment he heard John's name or his face flashed across the screen, his eyes would be glued to the TV.

Riley looked up, waving his dino in the air. "'Ook, Mama! Dino 's gonna eat Dada! Nom nom nom!"

"Oh no! You better tell dino to be nice to Dada!"

Riley made the dino "apologize," then went back to his game. John was out there, doing his job, being his best self while she sat at home and tried to put her life back together. The image of John being a larger-than-life hockey player conflicted with the John that she knew. The John that she fell in love with.

The game announcer mentioned John's name, and Riley perked up just as Tori expected. "Dada on TV!" he squealed, scrambling to his feet.

"Yep! They said Dada's name, huh?"

"Dada 'gon score?"

"Maybe." She wasn't really sure how much of the game Riley truely understood, but seeing him light up when John played brought a smile to her face.

It was funny how after years of being with John and then being friends that she still found it surreal to watch him on TV. To know that thousands of people knew his name and went to watch his team play, while she sat at home with their child at her feet, talking about how he was going to be just like Dada when he grew up. She'd always respond with "I bet Dada would love that." Although deep down she didn't want him to end up "just like" John. Sure things had been better recently, but John had his flaws. She just hoped that they could keep making things work for Riley.

But she also didn't want to lead him on. She had Luke to worry about, he--

"'Ook, Mama! Dada skatin'!"

"Yeah, baby. He's skating fast, isn't he?"

"Fast! Dada super fast!" He grabbed one of his dinosaurs, making it zoom across the table. God, could Riley possibly admire John more? He was like a fucking superhero to the toddler.

A commercial break started and Tori stood up to grab herself a snack.

"Riley, do you want a--"

Her phone buzzed. Probably just John again, giving her an update on the game.

Hey, we need to talk. I'll call after the game?

Luke? Why now? Why did he want to talk now?

"What, Mama?"

"Sorry, Ri. D'you want a pouch?"

"Yes p'wease! Pouch!"

Tori continued to stare at her phone as she grabbed Riley a fruit pouch from the cupboard. Luke's text felt like it was staring into her soul. Why had he decided to reach out halfway through a game? Had John made a comment, said something he shouldn't have? All the possibilities and she wouldn't get an answer until after the game.

She took a deep breath, then placed her phone face-down on the counter, grabbing herself a bowl of Goldfish crackers. Riley was happily bouncing around to the music playing in one of the commercials. If only she could be so relaxed.

"No more phone for the rest of the game," she mumbled, taking the pouch to Riley.

"Tank 'oo, Mama!"

"Of course, baby. Is Dada back on the TV yet?"

"'Uke! I see'd 'Uke!"

"You saw Luke on the TV?"

"Yes! In jail."

"In jail?" she furrowed her brow. What in the world did that mean?

"Yes, 'Uke in jail."

"I-" then the screen flashed to a furious looking Luke sitting in the penalty box. Of course Riley thought that was jail. John had probably taught him that, she rolled her eyes. "You're right. Luke is in timeout."

"He be bad, so they put him in jail," Riley nodded, making his dinos fight.

A few moments later, Luke skated back onto the ice. It felt weird watching him on the TV too. Like he was even more distant, more unreachable. The man who had become such an important part of hers and Riley's lives, now felt like a complication that she didn't want to deal with.

"'Uke is free. No more jail," Riley pointed, singing 'no more jail' to himself a couple more times.

"That's right. They freed him from timeout."

Tori spent the rest of the game on the floor with Riley, trying to keep her mind off things. And it worked, the rest of the game flew by and before she knew it, John was knocking at the door.

She forced herself to stand up, smoothing down her Devils t-shirt as she walked to the door. With a deep breath, she opened the door. John stood there in casual clothes, opposed to the suit that the Devils had posted a picture of him arriving in. His hair was damp from the showers, a reminder of the game that he had just won.

"Hey! Did you guys watch the game?"

"Yeah, he was glued to the screen everytime he heard your name," she smiled, motioning towards Riley, who was now busy making his dinos 'free' each other from jail just like Luke. "He was excited."

"Hey bud! Did you watch Dada on the TV?" John asked, scooping up the toddler.

"Dada went 'uper fast! Like zooooom! And then Dada win! And then my dino eat 'oo, Dada!"

"What?! Dino ate me?! You gotta be careful with those dinos, huh?"

"It's okay. I kiss it better," Riley grinned, pressing a kiss to John's cheek.

"Aww, thanks, Ri-Ri. I feel all better now."

Riley squirmed out of John's arms to go back to his dinos. Tori caught John's eye and for a moment it felt just the way it did when Riley was first born.

"You gonna stay for a bit?"

"Yeah. It'd be nice to play with him for a bit before bed."

"Perfect. I--"

Her phone started buzzing rhythmically. Someone was calling her. Luke was calling her.

"Shit. I gotta take this. I'll be right back," she forced a smile, taking her phone down the hall to her bedroom. "Hey."

"Hey. I, uh, sorry for texting during the name, but we need to talk. I've been doing a lot of thinking."

Tori sat on the edge of her bed. She had been expecting this, but now that it was happening, she didn't know how to respond. "Okay. What's on your mind?"

"I... I know things have been weird lately. I needed time to think. And I'm sorry I aired you for so long. But I need to know if we're still on the same page here, Tori. If this... if we still have a chance."

Tori swallowed, glancing at the closed door. John was out there, playing with Riley, and the reality of the situation felt heavier than it did before. She hated that no matter what, someone was going to get hurt.

"Things are complicated right now, Luke. I care about you, I do. But John... he's Riley's dad--"

"And you feel like you owe it to Riley to make things work with John," Luke finished for her, his tone clipped. "I get it, Tori. I do. But you need to figure out what you want. What's going to make you happy. Not just Riley."

"I'm a mom, Luke. Riley's happiness comes first. H--"

"Is that why you slept with John?"

"What?"

"Heard him talking to some of the other guys about it. Were you going to tell me?"

"I was going to tell you. I just didn't know when... or how. It-- it was just kind of happened. And we've been on this weird break, so--"

"So you decided that because I wasn't there, you'd sleep with your ex. Great. Do you have feelings for him, Tori? Is that what this is?"

"I don't know."

"You don't seem to know much, d'you? D'you know if you love me? Or is that still up in the air too?"

"Luke--"

"I don't know why I even called you. Call me when you figure your shit out. Until then, good luck."

The line went dead. Luke's words hit like a punch to the face. She blinked back her tears, refusing to have a break down right now--not with John and Riley both a few feet away. She didn't know what she wanted, and that was the truth. But hearing him throw it back at her didn't feel very nice.

Figure your shit out.

He was right. She couldn't keep doing this. Dragging two people she cared about--Hell, three people. Riley was part of this too--into a mess she made because she couldn't make a decision.

She composed herself, making her way back to the living room. John glanced up at her. He could see right through her fake smile. "What's up?"

"Oh, nothing. Just, uh, just some stuff with Luke."

"If he makes you upset, why are you still wasting your time on him?"

"John. Not in front of Riley."

"They put 'Uke in jail, Dada," Riley decided to join the conversation.

"Yeah, you're right, Riley. Luke got a penalty," John had to keep himself from sighing listening to his son mention his mother's boyfriend.

"But you no in jail."

"Mhm."

"You was good."

"It's past time bedtime, Ri-Ri," Tori cut off, sensing that she and John weren't going to accomplish much with Riley in the room.

"Dada read cat-pilla?"

"You want Dada to ready you 'The Very Hungry Caterpillar'?" Tori asked for clarification.

"Uh huh."

"Alright. Let's go brush our teeth and get in our jammies. Then Dada and you can read." Tori picked him up and headed down the hall, John following behind. Once they'd settled on a pair of blue pajamas to wear under his sleepsack, he cuddled up with John on his rocking chair. He continued to babble about Luke and being put in jail. Talking about how bad guys go to jail. John sat there with an unreadable expression on his face, holding the picture book that Riley had requested.

"Okay, Ri. That's enough talking about jail. Let Dada read."

"Otay. 'oo stay Mama?"

"No, Mama's gonna go take a bath."

"Say 'goodnight' to Mama."

"Night, Mama."

"Night, baby," she responded, blowing him a kiss.

"In the light of the moon, a little egg lay on a leaf," John read aloud, Riley tracing little patterns on his dad's arm.

Tori double-checked that his nightlight was plugged-in before making her way to the bathroom for a much needed hot bath. She turned on the hot water and let the room fill with steam. She even poured in lavendar bath salts because it was one of those days. As she slid into the warm water, she could still make out John's voice reading out "The Very Hungry Caterpillar." It felt like everything was okay. Like they were a real family again.

But deep down, she knew that wasn't true. Luke's call had been a wake-up call. She needed to stop the indecision. She couldn't ignore the cracks forming around her. John was Riley's father, and he'd been there for her. Well, sort of. He was there for Riley, who was an extension of her. Luke had come into her life and been there for her. Not just for Riley, but for her. No questions ask. John always asked questions. He always had a motive behind his actions, but not Luke. Luke cared about her in a way that she wasn't sure John did. Sure, she was the mother of his child, so he'd always have some love for her. But she found it kind of convinent how he'd only tried to push more into her life once she started seeing Luke.

After what felt like an eternity with her thoughts, there was a knock at the bathroom door. "Ri's down for the night."

"Thanks."

"Mind if I hang out for a bit? Talk?"

"Uh, yeah, give me a minute."

"We can talk in there if you want."

"John..."

"Right. I'll be in your room."

"Thanks."

She sank deeper into the water, trying to get a few more moments of peace before she had to talk to John. Figure your shit out. No more limbo. It was time to face reality, no matter how uncomfortable it was.

She dried off and wrapped herself in a robe before finally heading down to her room. John was sitting on the edge of the bed, his hands resting on his knees.

"So what's on your mind?"

"I don't want to push you, V. I know things have been complicated and I don't want to make them harder. But I need to know where we stand. With Luke in the picture, I just... I can't keep pretending everything is fine."

"I get that. And I can't blame you for wanting answers. I just, I need to figure out what's best for Riley, for me. For everyone."

"I'm Riley's dad. Am I not what's best for him?"

"You know that's not what I mean, John. We'll always need you. You're his dad. And seeing the two of you recently, it... it's been so amazing."

"Victoria. I need to know what you want, though. Not for Riley. For yourself."

"God, you sound just like Luke," she threw her hands up.

"Why? Because we both want you to care for yourself too?"

Tori bit her lip, a lump rising in her throat. She had been asking herself the same questions for weeks, and now, sitting there with John, maybe things were become a little more clear. She cared about him. Hell, she loved him and she loved the family that they could be for Riley. But that wasn't enough, was it?

"I do care about me. But Riley comes first. And I thought... maybe we could try again, for his sake. But then, there's Luke. And he's been there for me, John, in ways that you... you haven't been in a long time."

John's jaw tightened, but he didn't interrupt.

"I feel like you've only really tried to be here for me since Luke came into the picture. And... that's not fair to any of us. I don't want to force something just because... just because we have a child together. I need to feel wanted for me... not because I'm Riley's mom."

John exhaled sharply, running a hand through his hair. "I get that. And you're right, I... I wasn't always there like I shoul've been. But I'm trying now. I want to be there for you, for Riley, because I care about you. Not just because of him. But I can't wait around forever while you figure this out."

"I want to believe you, John. I really do. But... we haven't worked for a reason."

"Tori, I--" His words caught in his throat. "I know we haven't worked in the past, but things change. People can change. I'm trying. I am."

She didn't doubt that he was trying, but it was too late now. The damage had been done. And Luke had finally shown her what real, true love looked like.

"John--"

"I can't just walk away from this, from us. Not without knowing we've given us a real second chance."

"I don't know if... if there is a second chance here. We've tried so many times, but it's always for Riley. It's never for us. Us doesn't work, John. We... we work as co-parents, but we don't work as us."

"Tori, please..."

"John..."

"So that's it? You're choosing Luke?"

"I'm choosing what feels right for me. I can't keep pretending there's something here that isn't. I can't pretend just for Riley."

"But Riley needs us. Together."

"Riley needs us to be good parents. And we can do that without being together. We can give me stability, love, everything he needs. Everything you've been giving him the last few days. He needs that John to be around. I know work is draining, John. I can't even imagine what it's like being a professional athlete. But the John that's been here the last few days, playing and reading books to our boy. That's the John he needs all the time."

"You're right. I just... I haven't been ready to admit it."

"You're a great dad, John. And Riley is always going to need you. I will always need you here as his father. Luke isn't going to replace that. But we need to stop holding onto the past. It's time to move forward."

"I don't want to lose you guys."

"And you won't. We'll figure this out, John. Together, as Ri's parents."

"Yeah. As Riley's parents," John nodded, his voice hoarse.

With that, John leaned down and pressed a kiss to Tori's forehead before making his way to the door. Tori stood there, watching him go, feeling both the weight of what she'd done but also the relief that she was no longer trapped in two seperate worlds.

Now she needed to let Luke know that she'd figured her shit out.

[spockvarietyhour]

Specifically thinking about the various Alpha Quadrant people and objects Voyager's run thru over the years and all the wasted possibilities.

When I say Incorporate I mean actually followed upon in other episodes, either as recurring guests or full on regulars in the show. In the case of Dreadnought, I would also argue having the Dreadnought B'Elanna voice showing up from time to time.

Edit: I meant Ransom, not Braxton in the Equinox one.

[mistyresolve]

| One Thing You Love - Simon “Ghost” Riley x Reader

Word Count - 1.1k

Summary - Simon is no stranger to nightmares and the fear and panic that follows. He has a routine and has developed tricks to aid them. Especially when they plague you at night. 

Tags/Warnings - Fluff, Explicit Language, Depictions of Panic Attacks and Night Terrors, Mentions of Childhood Trauma, 

A/N - Imagine being loved by someone like him!!!

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An invisible hand reached into his sleep and pulled him from sleep just in time to see you bolt up from the sheets, clawing at the air. Hair sticking to your forehead and tears staining your face. You gasped out unintelligible words, reaching for someone, anyone to help you. Simon was already moving and was kneeling beside you immediately. 

The first time you had had an episode it was absolutely terrifying for him. He had been jolted awake from you thrashing against his arm, blubbering incoherently. At first, he thought he had accidentally done something to hurt you. Until you called out for your mom, begged her to “make it stop”. He felt completely useless, he didn't know what to do. Flicking on the lamp he had tried shaking you awake and calling out your name. 

When you finally woke up you were inconsolable. He stayed up till dawn with you as you cried. 

This time he knew what he had to do, he had done it so many times that he moved almost mindlessly. Cautiously, he moved to sit behind you, legs on either side of you and arms wrapping around you. He grasped your wrists gently and crossed them over your chest, applying just enough pressure to the embrace. He leaned back against the headboard slowly, pulling you back with him. 

You struggled against him, breaths coming in short uncontrollable bursts, "Wait. No. I'm - I'm sorry," You sputtered. 

Simon felt his shatter at the words. You've never and refused to tell him what your dreams were about but he had his theories. He would never asks you, he was waiting for you to tell him. He knew about what had happened in your childhood home. What would be said there, to you, done to you. What they would do to you when they caught you using you “out of line”. You'd told him about it, once. And only once did you speak freely about it. He’d felt sick to his stomach.  

"Shhh, it's only me. I'm here." He whispered into your ear as softly and calmly as he could. 

"Simon," he loosed a breath at the sound of your broken voice, you were awake. You stopped your struggling but you were still in panic in his arms. Eyes wild and unseeing. 

"Name five colours." His own voice quivered with anger. He had sworn to himself that if he ever saw your parents. He wouldn't hold back. He'd fucking kill them. He would burn them to ashes. He would pack the years of torture and pain you endured into one night. He’d become a nightmare for you.

When you didn't say anything he pulled you even closer, "Think of the rainbow, Darlin"

"Green."

"Good. Four more," 

"Orange. Red." Each word was a struggle between your gasps for breath. 

"Green." 

"You already said that one. Two more." 

"Yellow, and blue." 

"Now, tell me four weekdays." Simon stares off at the door to the hallway. He was ready to protect you against the world.  

"Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday." You said in one breath.

"Slower." He lowered his voice and you had to strain to hear him. You obeyed, slowly repeating the weekdays to him. 

"Three foods." He leaned his head down on your shoulder, the smell of his shampoo invading your senses. Breath by breath you returned to your body, to the hollowness in your chest, to the throbbing headache. Your fingers ached too, and when you look at them you realize your bone-crushing grip on his arms. Immediately you let go, leaving behind little angry red fingerprints. Your finger nimbly danced along the markings. He pressed a small kiss to your jaw as if to tell you "It's okay". 

"Grapes. Chicken. And..." You paused for a second, thinking. "Does chocolate count?"

He rubbed wide, slow circles into your shoulder, "Oh, of course. Two things you hate," His questions need increasingly more thought, effectivly distracting you. He had looked at how to deal with panic attacks and nightmares and how to help someone come down from one, and he was pulled every trick he knew for these moments. Took notes on his own nightmares and demons. On what helped soothe his panicked heart.  

"Mushrooms," you scrunch your nose. He chuckled softly, the sound rumbling in his chest and against your back. He loved them. 

"And being damp, not wet but not completely dry either,” you considered for a second, “Like when you get caught in the rain." 

He hummed in agreement, "And one thing you love." 

Your eyes dropped to the arms wrapped around you, the fingers rubbing slow circle on your skin. Warmth rolled from the man behind you and into your chilled lungs. His smokey bourbon scent. You thought of the shared whispers at nights before falling asleep, the early mornings and their lazy kisses. The chilly walks to the park, and the laughter. 

You pulled your arms free of his, "You," You leaned your head back on his shoulder, then half turned to face him, catching his face in your hands. He leaned into your touch, eyes falling shut. "I love you, Simon Riley." 

A rare boyish smile graced his lips and then those incredible dark eyes found yours. "I love you too," then he moved you so you'd be facing him entirely. “Do you wanna talk about it?" He offered his full attention. You shake your head, you never said yes. He always asked though. 

Leaning your head on his shoulder you savoured the silence for a minute, just feeling each other's presence. He ran his hand up and down your back.    

"I'm sorry I keep doing this to you," You admit sheepishly. A fat warm tear slipped down your cheek. He pulled away from you. 

"I am yours, and my purpose is to protect you. I would be fucking useless if I wasn't there for you. Don't ever be sorry. We all get nightmares." He tilted his head to the side as he wiped the tears from existence, then placed a warm kiss where it once was. Then another kiss for your nose, your cheek. He hovered over your lips. "I will always be here for you." He closed the distance. The kiss was sweet and tender, and your chest squeezed at your bleeding heart. His hand slid into your hair, tilting your head to the side to deepen the kiss. The remaining fear from my nightmare was pushed to the back of my mind. 

He pulled away, his thumb rubbing your bottom lip. He settled you back into the bed, you cuddled into his chest and him caging you in. He placed one final kiss to your temple. "Get some sleep, okay." 

You nodded your eyes already drifting shut, his warmth and steady breath lulling you back to sleep. Your last thoughts before falling way to sleep were of him. Of how you'd had gotten so lucky as to steal him for yourself. 

Masterlist  ❤︎  Tag List Form

A/N - for the fellow ghosties who get nightmares 🤍

Tag List -  @thychuvaluswife ❤︎ @shuttlelauncher81 ❤︎  @lostinsideourminds ❤︎ @v1naco ❤︎  @konig-breedme ❤︎ @wolfyland07 ❤︎ @dog55teeth ❤︎ @cumbersome-robes ❤︎ @meaganjean ❤︎ @purplefishingline​ ❤︎ @ddioriez

[cloveroctobers]

BODE LEONE — Spring Writings 🩵

A/N: Happy Fire Country Friday! It’s just me feeding the ghost town of a tag that was inspired by that last episode with a side of drama or triggers—i try my best to make spring writings more fluff based which you will get somewhere here. I want to say this takes place a year or two after this current season idk whatever makes sense lol. I know timelines are kinda confusing for this show so feel how you feel!

WARNINGS: strained parent and child relationship, established relationships, infidelity of other characters, mentions of abuse to minors, alluding to s*ic**e, PTSD, blood, lots of descriptions that I should be employed as a screenwriter for the show with the amount of detail I give but we can just pretend, also I’m assuming that Bode and Riley were at least two to three years apart whereas him and Jake are the same age? I think that’s about it enough!

PROMPTS ARE FROM HERE + HERE & I’m using: 9. Our first dinner party & “god you’re bleeding! how the hell did you do that?” “i was trying to cut the tomatoes!”

⚘𖦹☼❀𑁍❀☼𖦹⚘ ⚘𖦹☼❀𑁍❀☼𖦹⚘ ⚘𖦹☼❀𑁍❀☼𖦹⚘ ⚘𖦹☼❀

“God you’re bleeding! How the hell did you do that?” Bode’s voice booms off the “almost oyster,” kitchen walls, making you zone back in to the fact that your middle knuckle and tip of your thumb happened to be oozing red all over the makeshift counter and cutting board.

He’s scrambling around the kitchen, snatching a rag from underneath the sink to wrap around your two fingers awkwardly. Applying pressure, which you hiss at, you meet Bode’s concerned blue-green eyes to see that he’s waiting for an answer.

You sigh, “I was trying to cut the tomatoes!”

Bode keeps his hands securely over yours and barely glances at the work you started on along with your phone that keeps silently lighting up. He blinks his attention back to you, sensing that you were disconnecting and was not entirely sure why. It was your idea to have your first dinner party after he moved in with you at the high rise out in Hillford, which was thirty minutes west of Edgewater.

“I see that,” he starts, “you don’t even like tomatoes, so I’m not sure why that’s on the menu for tonight?”

Closing your eyes for a moment you lift your shoulders nonchantly, “your mom loves a good Mediterranean salad, so I thought why not give it a go?”

Bode snorts, “my mom wouldn’t know the difference if it was store bought.”

His mom was a decent cook but she hardly had the patience to keep up with it. Majority of the time Bode’s dad was the one to throw down thanks to his own mother and grandmother forcing him to learn. Sharon loved to eat and sample so she wouldn’t be too judgmental…unless she ended up with food poisoning then you’d never hear the end of it!

“Vince would depending on what it is.” You peer at him underneath your eyelashes while Bode breathed out a laugh, figuring that you were most likely right. Mr. Leone may seem like a go with the flow kind of guy but one thing about the Leone’s? They loved to eat and if the food wasn’t cutting it then some words would be said.

Bode hoped the idea of his parents being here tonight didn’t make you nervous. It wasn’t your first time having a meal with them and one thing Bode knew about his parents is that they rarely held back. They liked you and they wanted to see him rebuild his life after being released. They were just happy that Bode was finally able to do that but after that text you just received…you weren’t so sure if that would remain true.

Bode gently lifts the rag from your fingers, “the bleeding from your thumb seems to be slowing down but that knuckle might need some stitches.” He announces before raising your hand back above your heart.

Feeling a wave of frustration fly over your being once more, made you want to lay face first on the kitchen floor—if it was sanitary. Hey you kept a clean house, otherwise you wouldn’t be having any family over! You were a bit of germaphobe and tried to ignore the itch of your brain to get to cleaning the mess you left on the wooden table turned island, that you got from a antique store two years ago.

“Hey,” Bode grips you even tighter, prepared to handle the deadweight if you decided to just drop to the floor, “what’s wrong?”

This was more than just you losing blood.

Opening your eyes you move your body around to slump against Bode, who didn’t hesitate to rest his cheek against the back of your head, “Sharon invited my mom and Manny, which is okay, I guess! Then my mom invited Gabriela! Which automatically makes what’s his face, the fiancé, her plus one while also extending it to Eve who invited Jake.”

The mumbling from you was a bit difficult for Bode to grasp but he listened intently anyways to get the gist of it all. There were many things wrong with this and he was tempted to call his mother up right now—despite knowing she had no ill intentions. Sharon seemed to get a kick out of your mom (which only meant trouble) who was casually dating Manny and you already knew your mother was solely the one to drag Gabriela into this. You’ve known the Perez’ since what felt like forever, way back in San Diego where you and Gabriela both attended school and actually became friends due to being in the same friend groups. You both tried out for the swim team, Gabriela made it and you excelled better at gymnastics.

She had the dream of being in the Olympics while you were being shot up with steroids from your coach to be the next star of the team. There was Lilavati Sharma who was the face of the team and carried herself with such grace despite the pressure to always be the best. She was sweet with all the girls and guys on the team and was genuinely likeable. The coach favored her just a little too much to the point she was here and then in the next she wasn’t.

Her father pulled her away from the team and gave the coach a nice shiner to the face that took weeks to heal. That only made the coach train you harder until you broke your collar bone, becoming the biggest disappointment until the truth of your coach came to light after the unexpected death of Lilavati.

That’s when you learned, maybe second best wasn’t so bad after all but that didn’t mean your trauma needed to be diminished as well. You hurt for Lilavati more than you did for yourself and it took years for you to understand why that was.

The universe seemed to have it written in stone that you and Gabriela were meant to be in each other’s lives. Yes you were older now compared to high school but it was safe to say that the both of you have fallen out long before. There always seemd to be some sort of connect with your mother and Manny. They were both once married and Manny’s been raising Gabriela all on his own for as long as you could remember. You recalled the conversations Gabriela would have about the gap she had in her life because of her mother’s absence and how lucky you were to have your parents.

Well…your mother’s been cheating on your father since you were a kid and basically bullied you not to tell your father about it once you were a bit older. Although he’s always known, he hated that she put you in that position after realizing that you’ve known. By the time leaving for college came around, your dad was moving from San Diego to Northern California far out to Edgewater; after serving your mother divorce papers who gave him such a hard time on signing them. She even followed him all the way out there after putting the house up for sale a month before your graduation.

Going back and forth to court was a common thing between them along with a restraining order being filed and lengthy phone calls from your mouthy mother filled your head while studying for finals. So yes your upbringing was as peachy as everyone thought.

Bringing it back to present time, your father was remarried and seemed to be thriving with his new aeronautical engineer of a husband, that you had to cat-sit every time they left the country to explore the world. Your father’s always been open about his sexuality and made you comfortable (considering he was a psychologist) if you ever questioned anything of your own personal experiences. You were one of the rare cases where you always had crushes and flirted once it felt like those crushes also showed interest but…it never amounted out into much.

You never had a significant other until you reached college. Let’s just say, you didn’t marry your college sweetheart. That wasn’t your story. The idea of love that you had wasn’t the brightest although it’s something you always wanted to have, it was just hard to truly receive it. And here you were with a man that always fought through so much in life that also wanted to give love and be loved in return.

“So the gang is all coming basically?” Bode used one hand to gently rub your back, “we could just cancel. It was supposed to just be with my parents…although I don’t mind Manny and your mom tagging along but…inviting everyone else to our place without talking to us about it…is crossing boundaries. How’d you find out?”

It still felt odd for Bode to call this waterfront townhouse his as well but you constantly reassured him that he was open to doing anything that made him feel like the home was his too. For one contributing to the HOA fees was a good start (after fighting a lengthy battle with the court to get EMT training and finally getting a spot on CalFire as stable income was a long time coming). Pre-Prison Bode had jobs before—some that he’s walked out on—but being with CalFire gave him purpose with a smidge of financial freedom. He was able to spend money on things that mattered like annoying adult stuff, a creepy ornamental two piece banana sculpture that he installed on the wall of the breakfast room (a small separate area from the dining room), and you.

“Mom texted.” You huffed, “and I’m trying to get better at not blowing up on her but when she does things like this? It makes it so hard.”

It took a lot for you to stand up to your mother since you tended to hold everything in. Over the years it’s been a build up and she’s apologized various of times but it started to fall on empty ears when she continued to repeat her same patterns.

Bode hated that your mother caused you such anxiety. He’s cupping your face now, gently placing his forehead against yours, “what do you want to do? I’ll call mom and yours up right now if it’s too much? We can have dinner ourselves, just us two and see if there’s any new streams on that movie you’ve been telling me about.”

You send him a small smile, cherishing that, “the kebabs are already done along with half of the other food. We can’t eat all of this ourselves.”

Bode peeks over at the covered food on the rest of the counters then back to you with a smirk of a smile, “want to bet?”

“Bode!”

“What? I can eat and I’ve been dying to try a kebab since you slapped my hand with a Spatula an hour ago.” He playfully glares at you, “I needed a snack.”

“There’s always crackers.”

Bode furrows his brows, “…I thought you loved me but I think you’re trying to starve me. What is this? Three rock?”

You laughed, “well at least one of us has an appetite and I just want to get through this night and enjoy the company of what I thought would just be with Sharon and Vince.”

Bode nods his head, “we still have time if you change your mind so, I’ll give you until after I’ve cleaned you up.”

“I love that you already know that I want you to do my stitches.”

Bode slides an arm across your hips to guide you out of the kitchen, “of course I know my baby. You nearly collapse every time you see prices in the grocery store when we’re out so I can only imagine what the bill from urgent care would look like. Lucky for you, you have a certified first responder as a boyfriend.”

He’s careful with you as he guides you up the narrow creaky stairs to the second floor to the main bathroom and you’re reminded this is the love you deserve.

You’re seated on the toilet while Bode is making a mess—like he commonly does—searching for what he needs. His hands are large and quick as they work the needle through the thread before setting it aside. He turns back to you, moving your hands from the pressure you’re applying against the rag, before motioning for you to keep it on the knuckle while he cleans, applies antibiotics and bandages your thumb first.

Bode kisses your thumb over the bandage, “how are we doing? Feeling faint? Do you need water? I probably should have asked before we came up here.”

“I’m fine.” You smile softly at him as he grabs a stool to sit down on as it’ll take him longer to work on your knuckle, “thanks for checking.”

He hums in response, “want to talk about work as a distraction?”

Blood didnt really bother you but you did cringe at the thought of needles. You can go ahead and write down PTSD note takers! You were an application security specialist, yes a true nerd, and also damn good at your stressful but fulfilling job but it was the weekend so that was a negative.

You redirect the conversation, “I’d like to draw you your next tattoo.”

Did you have artistic abilities like Bode? Let’s just say you were more of a data person while also being pretty athletic—although gymnastics was somewhat history you still found yourself stretching and working out to be crucial to your health routine—you had your own taste.

“Yeah?” Bode asks as he gets to work, “are you telling me you don’t like the two I already have?”

You shake your head, “sure I do. They have their own significant stories, which I’d never change and I have ideas if that artist brain of yours craves for more ink.”

“Appreciate that…so what’s on your mind?”

You deeply inhale as you feel the needle piercing your skin but talk through it, “you’re surprisingly into some odd art and I’ve been looking at vintage Halloween art that my co-worker is obsessed with and thought, why not create a wizard frog with a pointy star hat, wand and everything?”

“A wizard frog?” There’s a teasing tone in Bode’s voice while he pictures it as he pulls tight before going back to your skin while you hold your breath, “Magic’s not really my thing especially since I told you about my dad having me watch that one weird movie with Anthony Hopkins. Riley on the other hand? Could sit up for hours watching that horror crap with my dad…although she always ended up in my room, stealing my covers while talking away as I tried to sleep. As her big brother I dealt with it if that meant keeping her nightmares away, although I regretted it in the morning.”

The both of you share a laugh at this.

What you knew of Riley was that her and Bode were sorta opposites. She had the kindest big round blue eyes, was friendly and open to having conversations with strangers whereas Bode was more reserved before he felt comfortable enough to approach. Apparently she was soft spoken yet determined, into the well-being of animals that she planned to be a vegetarian once she was older, liked magic tricks and horror movies but only if that meant she got more time to bond with Vince that is. She seemed to have a heart on her sleeve and probably would have been a veterinarian if she lived past sixteen.

“Just big brother duties.” You inhale air between your teeth, “and I think she would like my wizard frog idea.”

“Yeah…I can see you two plotting against me.” Bode smiles over at you before giving one last tug before snooping off the excess thread, “all set.”

Before he can even move to start cleaning up, you throw your arms across his shoulders and give him a squeeze. Bode pauses but buried his nose against your fuzzy cardigan before rubbing your back against your embrace once more.

“What’s this for?”

You say, “just because I love you and I’m happy to have you here with me, which I know I probably don’t say enough since words of affirmation is more your thing than mine but I stand by this. I look forward to many more days with you, good and challenging.”

Bode feels his body go warm at your words and pulls back to meet your eyes. “I can’t wait and I love you too, softie.”

You roll your eyes as he chuckles at you while you scratch at his facial hair.

“…You’ll think about the wizard frog?”

Bode sighs with a small smile on his lips, “If it makes you happy, love.”

“Cop out answer!” You flick his broad shoulder with your good hand.

“How?” Bode lifts his shoulders in confusion.

You crinkle your nose in annoyance, “You can’t ever say what I want to hear and make me think I’m always the winner, fight back.”

“Okay…I’ll remember that when I don’t want to watch the traitors uk with you.” Bode holds your stare while you gasp with a hand to your chest and then nod your head, mentally saying that was fair game.

Bode can already tell what you’re thinking, which makes him grin at you before leaning forward to cautiously peck your lips. You humph before slowly pushing yourself to get to your feet and steady yourself.

Bode’s hands are immediately on your hips as you balance yourself and you give him a nod in reassurance before leaning forward. You connect your lips again, his beard tickling your face as you breathe him in. He smells sweet like amber, fresh but calming like cypress, and warm sandalwood and you feel like you could just sink into him endlessly but manage to pull away.

“You sure you don’t want to cancel? We could do more of that and I wouldn’t mind.” Bode squeezes your hips with a lick of his own lips.

You pull from his grip, “that’s what Sunday is for, a day with no plans! Now let’s go, chop chop! We have a dinner to finish.”

And you’re out of the bathroom before Bode can even blink. He’s shaking his head at you and calls out, “fine. Don’t touch any more knives though!”

Once putting everything back where it belongs, he stares at his reflection in the mirror. He’s not entirely thrilled to have Jake here, since they were attempting to get back to where they once were but Bode wasn’t holding his breath since he felt like Jake was trying to live what could have been his when it came to Genevieve. It took time for him to accept what happened when they were teenagers meaning with Riley but since he’s been locked up? It felt like it was one thing after the next even in his freedom. Then there was Gabriela…which you had your own issue with although you tried to downplay it and there was a smidge of a history that Bode had with her that probably didn’t help…

He just hopes this dinner isn’t a true disaster for both of your sakes but at least he could have the task of throwing someone out…if it came to that of course.

That wasn’t what brought a smile to his face, it was the thought of hosting something that he could call his own with the person he wanted to spend countless days with.

You.

⚘𖦹☼❀𑁍❀☼𖦹⚘ ⚘𖦹☼❀𑁍❀☼𖦹⚘ ⚘𖦹☼❀𑁍❀☼𖦹⚘ ⚘𖦹☼❀

[raisedbythetv89]

Ok ooooook OK SO.

Spike was literally made for Buffy because he was made for and by Drusilla, and Buffy and Dru are the same person:

Innocent, kind-hearted young girls, with special gifts that cause them to carry more guilt/burden than others and they are used/abused/traumatized by angelus/angel, then neglected and abandoned, with Spike being there to pick up the pieces and nurture, care for, and love them the best he can to help them move past their angel trauma (which is actually an impossible task with Drusilla because of the sire aspect but isn’t with Buffy)

WHICH is why I believe William’s first act as a vampire was to try and save his mother. He was literally created to be Dru’s knight. Not only her protector but her healer. Which is why his first instinct when it should be all about blood lust is instead, to heal his mother who he still loves even as a vampire. I mean even Dru, a certified nutcase, is like you wanna do WHAT?!?! When Spike tells her his plan to save his mom😹

This is also why I believe angel trying to mold Spike into his image never really took or rather Spike was able to break free from it. Angel was created by darla for the intent of death, torment and destruction.

Spike was created to care for and love Dru. Which required an OBSCENE amount of patience, determination, humility, and love of a challenge. Which is why he was so intrigued by slayers, another seemingly impossible task - but the joy/fun was in the TRYING, the thrill of the unknown and the unpredictability of it all. Which are all the traits he needed to be there for both Dru and Buffy while also ensuring he never gives up on them as long as they want him there, and then some lol.

IM FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS

Because also this is soooooo not where I planned on going with this but “I was made to love you” episode title is now drawing in the connection of, is this why Spike didn’t initially see the problem with the Buffy-Bot until he saw the reaction of Buffy herself who often acts as his moral compass as he relearns what is “good” after 100+ years living by vamp code because him AS A HUMAN, in his vulnerable, dejected and devastated state was killed and made into a vampire for the sole purpose of loving and caring for Drusilla selflessly, without regard for himself, much like the bots were!! So why would he see the harm in creating something like that for himself when no one was going to die in the process and it meant he could stop fixating in the real buffy? Both of which to a vamp who’s only been trying to live by human morals again for like 14 episodes vs 120 years with NO help just trial and erroring his way through becoming a white hat which his starting point is “I would like credit for not taking advantage of bleeding disaster victims” and “what do you mean building a shrine to show how deep my devotion is and chaining you up, offering to kill my ex, and forcing you to talk to me and admit your feelings aren’t the way to do this??” 😹😹😹 like he gets it so wrong, it’s comical in season 5 because he truly is so earnest about all of it because while yes it is all for a chance with Buffy, he genuinely wants to be better for her so he can earn that chance. As he says to Riley “a fellas gotta try” after saying he doesn’t think he has a chance with her.

He was an Eleanore who desperately needed his Chidi. Which Buffy is his moral compass but she ends up being a “let them fail/push them into the deep end” kind of guide. So he makes A LOT of mistakes along the way as many of us often do in general but especially those of us who were raised by abusive parents; who in our adulthood, have to learn to discern what is healthy vs abusive to be a good person to both yourself and others and be in actual healthy relationships with boundaries and respect with zero practical experience or good instincts to go on.

NONE of this excuses any harm that Spike causes at all. That is not the point of this to say “oh he didn’t really do bad”, no he did. Spike caused a lot of harm but this perspective that I’ve finally been able to put into words is why none of the harm ends up being a deal breaker for me and many spuffys because it puts his choices in the right perspective which is not that of a human even though he looks like one a lot of the time.

Spike pre-soul, making the mistakes he makes isn’t the same as a human or a vamp with a human soul making the mistakes because he doesn’t have his human soul motivating and informing the decisions he makes. It really mimics different cultures in a lot of ways as anya really demonstrates during her wedding with all her talk of demon culture and tradition (and her own struggles to assimilate into the human world again and she HAS a human soul and xander to help her) and the initiative being VERY n*zi coded and Riley being called a bigot because he is ignorant to much of demonology. So un-souled spike has a more potential for forgiveness of his mistakes than human soul havers because he is always genuinely TRYING to do right by Buffy even when he gets it horribly wrong. And the characters in the show always hold him accountable and make him feel TERRIBLE for the mistakes he makes.

Why does he have such potential for forgiveness you ask? The best example is to think of the concept of someone trying to assimilate themselves into a new culture. We can’t expect them to blend right in perfectly and get all the culture norms right, right away (again -anya-but also a real life example - when I travel in Italy and catch up with friends there I STILL always stumble and forget they’re always gonna go in for a double cheek kiss greeting - pre covid anyway - and I KNOW it’s a thing but if I’m out of practice it takes me a while to start greeting people that way again and it makes for some AWKWARD ENCOUNTERS until I get it down😹). It takes time, and normally guidance and patience from others that spike honestly doesn’t often have except in the form of being yelled at or beat up until he gets his soul. But his willingness to TRY anyways despite failure, rejection, ridicule and cruelty. How can I not love him?? He is me, I am him!! I was also met with so much unhelpful criticism and cruelty when I was just trying to learn and do a good job.

Both as someone who is autistic and didn’t know it for a lot of life; I too felt like I was blundering through without a guide or a rule book and I was sure I was making mistakes because people would get upset but I had NO help identifying what exactly I did wrong or what to do instead. So I knew I was messing up but had to keep guessing and trying anyway and getting it wrong again and again!

And as someone raised by an emotionally distant/abusive narcissist, navigating healthy relationships became even MORE difficult and I made a lot of bad choices along the way that landed me in some awful relationships much like what spike and Buffy devolve into towards the end of season 6 because both of them are up stream without a paddle when it comes to healthy relationships, healthy coping mechanisms, and communication. They know pain, avoidance, fighting, torment, and ecstasy from always living in extremes and life or death situations (notice Buffy struggles the most in the season with no threat of the apocalypse until the last two episodes - season 6 - which is SO common for people with trauma, you really fall apart when things are low stakes)

It’s why the tenderness and gentleness of season 7 means SO MUCH. Both of them experiencing these tiny pockets of true peace with each other after everything they’ve been through individually and together. Experiencing true peace like we see from them is one of the hardest things to accomplish if you have severe trauma.

I’m always really happy when I can digest these complex themes enough to communicate why I love them so much and why they’re so important to me. The fact that this show had so much in-fighting amongst the writers and misogynists trying to make spike pathetic and accidentally making him one of the most complex characters, plus episodes based specifically on neurodivergent/queer peoples’ traumatic coming of age experiences because the parallels are SO strong there no way they’re not lol. This all means I can probably spend the rest of my life dissecting the layers of this show and learning about myself in the process and always find something new 🙃🙃🙃 and clearly I love all aspects of spuffy so god damn much as they each embody a big part of my life experiences in so many beautiful yet tragic ways.

[ellowynthenotking]

Apr 27

Dear dad,

We’re just going as fast as we can. We’ve barely stopped in days, and we’re running out of food faster than we thought we would. 

We needed to resupply at that stupid festival, and we didn’t get the chance to do so. I don’t know what we’re going to do about it. Grace has been walking alongside the cart looking for more edible plants, and we’ve been supplementing our rations with them. The amount that she’s finding isn’t enough, though. We can add it to things, but it takes a while to cook and prepare, and even if it’s helping, it’s making us slow down so we don’t lose her. 

I’m seriously worried that we’re going to accidentally leave her behind. Even though she mostly walks by the cart, she constantly ducks off into the woods on either side of the path to grab more of the stuff, and we lose sight of her so fast. We didn’t stop, but I jumped out of the cart a couple of times to keep an eye on her and the cart so we didn’t end up leaving her behind. 

I almost want to tell her to stop. It’s even more stressful trying to make sure we don’t leave her behind on accident. The amount of food she’s getting isn’t enough for her actions to be worth it. 

We’re pushing the horses really hard, too. I think constantly having people jump off and climb onto the cart while they’re in mid-motion isn’t the best. The horses are okay, though. I mean, I think they’re okay. They at least have enough to eat. There seems to be stuff they like to eat whenever we actually stop. I wish I could say the same. 

We haven’t run across any towns yet, but hopefully, we will soon; we need to stop somewhere and figure out where we are. I mean, we know where we are. Still, Willow's maps are functionally useless because we’re not in the other kingdom anymore. We don’t know where anything is for this kingdom. We haven’t even run across any people so far. We haven’t seen anyone since we left the little town on the kingdom's edge. Now, I’m pretty sure we haven’t accidentally stepped into a horror movie because some wizened person hasn’t been warned about our follies before heading out this way. But that doesn’t make it any less creepy.

The animals we’ve seen haven’t looked right either. Initially, I was saying we could probably do some hunting to supplement our food, but the animals don’t look right. We saw a deer with some super messed-up antlers, and I think we all kind of agreed that it would probably be for the best if we didn’t hunt it. There were some naked squirrels, not a single hair on them, bright pink, but still running around just fine. 

I haven't seen any birds, though I’ve heard some bird songs. But if they’re not in the trees or up in the air, they must be on the ground, right? But I haven’t seen any. 

This means we can’t hunt them. It’s been really weird. The forest still sounds like there are stuff and animals in it, but we just haven’t seen any of them, at least none that would be good eating.

I’m a little worried, if I’m being honest. We can’t really add any of it to the food, and we aren’t getting enough plants for the food. So we’re slowly running out of food, in the middle of nowhere, and being hunted by humans. And, possibly, by the weird deer? I could swear it’s the same deer I’ve seen a couple of times. Like I said, I would try hunting them, but it just hasn’t happened. Cause it all looks weird. 

Zunair says all the animals we’ve been seeing look like Chernoble (?) mutants, and he doesn’t think we should eat them on the off chance there is some kind of radiation or something that they’re all inflicted with. Willow said if that was what was going on, then we needed to leave the area as soon as possible, because if they were this affected, then it’s probably still leaching from somewhere, and we need to be careful.

Either way, there’s no signage about anything, be it dangers or towns anywhere. We have seen a few places that were obviously camps that looked untouched by whoever was there last. We’re at one now; it’s even got a little fire pit. 

The fire pit still has bones, which is a little disconcerting, but it’s proof that SOMEONE’S been here at least. There are other people around here somewhere, and we’ll hopefully run into them eventually. 

I’ll write to you soon. Hopefully, we’ll find a place to sleep that lets me write a little more to you, but I don’t know how long it’ll be until we get there. We’ll see, I guess.

Love, Jack

Read the rest of the series here: 

Or read more by this author here: 

[the-redhead-in-a-dress]

Random things I want in SNW Se3

Diplomatic Function with shenanigans

Una and Pike centered episode. Potentially being kidnapped à la T'Pol and Archer in Shadows of P'Jem. Maybe even throw in some flashbacks to Una and Pikes' early career/first meeting etc. Or just go with that and have the entire episode just be baby Ensigns Chin-Riley and Pike on an adventure...shenanigans ensured.

An actual conversation between Una and Chris recognizing the hardship of her having had to hide her true self for so long but not having to do so anymore

Una facing discrimination from others in SF/Federation...some recognition at least that her plight didn't end just by her being granted asylum. Chris going bezerk over this.

An Una and Illyrians centered episode. Maybe even her finally getting to contact her parents again, maybe an episode where she gets to actually see them/go back home. Maybe just an episode akin to The Illyrian Enigma (comic) where the Enterprise meets other Illyrians in space.

Una out of uniform!!! Anything will do, but please let the woman relax without the SF dress code! Preferably tie this in with the diplomatic function and have her in a fancy ball gown (please!)

Reconciliation/At least addressing the tension now between Admiral April and Una/Chris, given April's less than kind words at her trial!

Captain dinner!

Post-dinner Pike and Una discussing the crew/missions maybe even having a drink or two

Crew night off, some karaoke, a movie or something, maybe some dancing on or off the Enterprise

Spock & Una friendship episode...maybe they get stuck on a planet and have to figure things out together. Anything that really centers their friendship/mentoring relationship with one another. Maybe Spock can confide in Una his relationship issues etc. Maybe Una can admit she has little experience with relationships because she's always pushed people away for fear they'll get too close. Spock notes that she's never pushed Chris away. They'll be heavy implications, she'll go to respond and maybe Chris interrupts over comms and bam they're rescued...implications still heavy in the air.

Girls night!!!! La'an, Uhura, Erica, Christine, Una....give me the girl love here!!

Things I'd rather not have

Captain Batel/Chris' romantic entanglements generally

Kirk...please this is not a TOS prequel...get you're own reboot

[definitelynuwonhere]

2nd Gen Shawpack Pookies

I’ve had them in my notes for AGES and I’ve still yet to finish a design, but i do intend on creating little skits of them cuz of how much I’ve invested giving them all personalities and pinterest boards. (If this isn’t me exhibiting my deep love for the Redactedverse idk what is)

Some descriptions are longer than the others, I’ve obviously put more thought into certain characters

•Shaw Twins

- both children are sadly ungifted in the kitchen, despite the fact that David has made them his little helpers when since they were little. Multiple flames have been put out because of them.

-Both do share a love for nature like their father.

Gabriella Shaw (Gabby)🫶🏻

- Angel carbon copy with a dash of Gabriel’s silliness and courage, which always made David smile.

- Natural born Leader. Despite being the eldest child (4 fucking minutes) David has never burdened them with the responsibility or thought of inheriting the business. She stepped into the leadership role on her own, with more brighter approach, personality wise.

- Rollerskates, Angel started taking her to roller rinks since age 6 and she loves taking Lyss and KC with her

Callum Grey Shaw 🌱

-Yes he’s named after the sweet Caelum. David wanted to commemorate his childhood friend.

- Inherited David’s resting bitch face, if you point it out he’ll even growl like he does.

- Great Observer. Because his sister was the more outgoing one of them, he was always the listener, making him more emotionally aware, noticing things most people miss.

- Loves sitcoms. He’s probably watch Brooklyn Nine-Nine so many times he can name episodes in order. This also translates his love for the security company his dad runs. Always begging David to take him to work with him. (I think we know who inherits the company)

•Talbot Troop

-Asher is the only one I picture having multiple kids with a range of age gaps.

-No doubt the most outgoing ones of the pack.

August Talbot (Auggie) 🍕

- Foodie

- Life of the party, stealin’ hearts with his million watt smile

- DDR is his sport

Kelcee Talbot (KC/CeeCee) 🧠

- Designated driver of the group

- Straight A student. When she was young she’d share all the interesting facts she’d pick up on to her parents and it always astounded Asher, how she can command a room, especially being the SOMEWHAT, mellow one among the three.

Oliver James Talbot (OJ/Ollie) 🪲

- Very inquisitive

- Youngest of the pack (the only 7yr old in a group of 17 year olds)

- Has a special bond with Alyssa

•Greer Icon

Alyssa Marie Greer 💥

-Now while i think of Milo and SW as the D.I.N.K (dual income, no kids) couple, and i will somewhat always think that, but— this name crossed my head and I just cannot let it go. IT HONORS MARIE OK—

-Unsurprisingly is always the best dressed. Milo is very proud.

-Has a very ‘takes no bull personality’ making them the most intimidating out of group.

- Plays archery competitively

- Straightforward

-Weirdly great with babies, explains her close bond with Oliver

•Collins

Sean Riley Collins 🥐

- aka Peace Officer Collins

- The code name speaks for itself, he is very much like his old man when it comes to ensuring his friends don’t do anything stupid, and in the very common occasions they do, he of course serves them with a patented Collins lecture.

- He may be half vamp, but that doesn’t mean he has to have a mundane food pallet, this man can COOK and bake, a soft, crispy shelled sourdough being one of his specialties

•Solaire

Hugo Solaire 🎭

- theater kid

- sarcastic, confident, somewhat frivolous, despite his royal status, which gets him in trouble for

- May or may not have a thing for the alpha’s daughter.

- Like Vincent, he’s mostly only close to the Collins’ but has occasionally hanged out with the shaw pack.

[sheeperzzz]

Incoming ramble about how much I want an Inside Out show! I love Inside Out sm :( (Also, it's been a long time since I've watched Inside Out 1, so I MIGHT get a few facts wrong about that)

Starting off strong, an Inside Out show could talk about serious mental health topics. Like- the movies already did! In the first movie, they showed Riley running away because she was insanely homesick and hated the changes. In the second, they introduced Anxiety and how showed how anxiety can affect you. If they made a show, they could bring awareness to other mental health topics (Ex: PPD, IED, MDD, so on so forth). They could also show how differently HQ and emotions work in people with Autism, ADHD and the like! (The way I imagine the headspaces is very different than what we see for Riley or the other people in Inside Out. The HQs are built very different, and it's very "messy" overall. The Mind is even more scattered, very different than say Riley's or her parents. Idk, I just think it would be a neat concept!)

Another thing they could show us is where the other Emotions come from! Because we saw Nostalgia constantly appearing through a door to say something silly, and we know the other Emotions had to come from somewhere. (Personally, I like to think there's this place called Conscious City that comes from far below the pool of Riley's sense of Self.) And maybe it could explain why the Core Emotions basically spawned out of nowhere (we see this with Joy in the first movie), while the newer emotions "moved in" (see Anxiety in the second). And! They could explain why there are more specific emotions, since anxiety and embarrassment usually stem from fear in some way or another.

I just think it would be neat to see what the Emotions could get up to! I'd love to see a day off or something, where Riley is asleep (actual sleep, put in for surgery, whatever) or the Emotions aren't needed for some reason, where they all just go out and do their own thing together. Like- outside of HQ. Going with the idea of Conscious City, I'd kill to see them all just going into town and hanging out! They spend most of their time in HQ, so seeing the City would be a huge break for them. They all just hang out in the city, goof around, learn about the emotions that have yet to join HQ, blah blah blah. I've also thought up about three episodes I'd find silly :3 1) An episode focused around Fear, where he's terrified of everything because he thinks everyone's out to get him. They're all being avoidant, secretive, and whispering behind his back. By the end of the episode, he's convinced they're about to pounce- but surprise! Joy had planned a surprise birthday party for him! 2) An episode where it's just dress up. They all go into the city and play around with outfits and whatnot :) 3) A more horror-based episode; The Emotions decide to go out for the day. Joy gets a little rambunctious and explorative, and they all end up in a bog-like area. They go missing one by one. Something is taking them. In the end, they all get out and escape, but they never quite see what was attacking them. (I will admit, the way I imagined this is kind of based off Fonz Pond by ICP LMAO)

But overall, idk, I just think an Inside Out show would be real fun. Just a lot of silly things, while also tackling more heavy topics. I might make a few comics for myself about it. Maybe

[vestaclinicpod]

Audio Drama Sunday - 12th May ✨

👻 @tellnotalespod (S2E9.5) Riley 😭 Leo 😭 There was the PERFECT amount of anger and sadness and pining in this episode. I know these two can work it out!!!! I laughed at Riley’s admission that he wasn’t planning on telling Julia either. Leo, how does it feel to be a dirty little secret? I’m so excited to see how Riley is going to act on Leo’s advice 🥺 

🌲 @hellofromthehallowoods (151) OOOH this episode! If Shank considers himself to be a righteous killer then . . . what did Shelby’s parents do????? And oh my god, Irene Mend is out there which means!! Diggory?!! Please?! The scene with Vincent at the end hit me like a tonne of emotionally weighty bricks. I’m taking Voltaire as an animation of Vincent’s mental health issues and, my god: the toxic co-dependence, the fear of stepping forwards into a life without it, the fear of never being free. Help me, I’m sad about puppet man. 

🧳 Travelling Light @monstrousproductions (21) waah this episode was so cute and definitely made me miss my grandparents 🥹

🤴InCo by @itmeblog (S3E35-37) two thousand ambassadors???? TWO THOUSAND. 

⚔️ @camlannpod season one finale!! I could cry! I have *adored* this show for the way it makes me feel seen now but also for the nostalgia of the kid who loved BBC Merlin so much 🥲 I think the team did an amazing job of tying up this first season whilst leaving enough strands loose to weave into a second!! 

🖥️ The Magnus Protocol (15) Let’s not forget the real horror of this episode…. The British aristocracy. 

🌞 Small Victories by @wgc-productions (2.2/2.3) Girl, DON’T do it!! I’m definitely coming at this from my own married, monogamous POV but think what makes this affair even worse is the fact that Summer is also using Marisol to process her grief. Like, she has NOT processed anything there. I don’t think there is a desire for anything stable or long term (which would be GOOD for Marisol). They are using each other and Marisol is going to lose something good in the process. Man, this is stressful.  

🧋 @hinaypod (5-8) LISTEN gorgeous, gorgeous girls have GOT to stop going to antiques shops!! You’re too precious to melt into a portrait!! I’m loving the additions to the cast and listening to the spooks get spookier and the interpersonal relationships get messier is everything I could want in a show.

I hope everyone has a lovely week 💫