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#riz keeps the files on all his cases. even if it was only for the commission doubtless he still has those notes
colinprovolone · 5 months
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mannnnn. remember riz investigating porter on fig’s request first ep of sophomore year. i wonder what would’ve happened if he had gotten like a 25 instead of a 16 on that investigation roll. “he takes a lot of trips to fantasy vitamin shop, a lot of protein powders, a lot of supplements” <- insane thing to be foreshadowing
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emptyjunior · 5 months
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The concept of Riz dying decades or in some cases Centuries before his friends is too sad for me, anyways Riz isekai/regression au. 
So Riz, at the end of his life, I assume a decorated private investigator, maybe in and out of many agencies until he like unearthed corruption in them and got kicked out, you know just general Riz stuff.  
I think he would honestly get Jacked, but in like a wiry way, I think by the time he was old his combat sense and powers of deduction would be Insane even if his body cannot keep up with his mind anymore. 
And then I assume he’d die peacefully in bed OR in a dramatic and horrifying conspiracy, possibly on a sinking boat or a waterfall, that all his friends would have to investigate in his honour. 
So Riz dead, gone, finally at peace. 
Or at least he Thinks, BEEP BEEP annoying sound of alarm clock waking him up for his first day of school. 
Chronomancy is most likely to blame. 
So general premise is Riz instantly goes from an awkward teen scrambling to solve his babysitter’s disappearance, with no resources or social skills, twitchy and underfed to a calm and seasoned detective. I think that morning when Sklonda goes to see where he is, he’s made her breakfast, bacon and pancakes. And as she sits down in shock at the table, he quietly slides a file over to her which is every active case she’s working on, methodically solved with notes and clearly explained timelines to the culprit. And if she turns it over to the back, there’s also a resignation letter in there and an application to law school ready to be filled out. And when Sklonda looks up at Riz shaken, he just gives her a kiss on the forehead and a smile like he’s seeing someone he hasn’t seen for many years and then calmly goes to class. 
I also want: 
-Dealing with bullies that first day like Ragh and Fabian like he’s greeting loved ones. Darting out of their attempts to grab him with a dancer’s flourish that he could have only learnt from a high elf... 
-I think Fabian would be a Big Part of his plans (because the most fun part of regression time travel stories is when they start Amassing wealth) so I think he honestly just goes straight to his house, tells Bill Seacaster that him and his son are best friends (which Fabian would SCREAM at if he got humiliated by this goblin earlier that day) and then challenges Bill to a shooting contest and thrashes him, which makes Bill keel over with laughter, offer him a place on his crew, offers him his son’s hand (Fabian is hitting critical levels of red anger embarrassed face at this point) 
-Other fun ways to gather wealth, Riz just robs Kalvaxus. Just remembers every little detail about the accounts from his files, goes to the bank, gives all the current passwords, transfers the Entire dragonhoard to his own account 
-And yes the plot would all be decimating Goldenhoard that first year, so Riz just saves every girl before they’re captured, the maidens that have already been taken, hunts them down. I think he goes to the gas station that Johnny Spells and his friend’s occupy, locks the door and walks right into this den of bikers, just full Kingsman fight sequence decimates them. Because I think he would feel So good getting a body back that hasn’t been rung with years of stress and Kristen Shenanigans that he is in like peak condition 
-First Day finds the rogue teacher which is why he has so much time for running around preparing everyone’s future
-I think, honestly, he shoots Coach Daybreak in the head on sight and gets sent to the principal’s office and Aguefort’s like “are you doing a chronomancy?” and he says yea and Aguefort’s like sweet, carry on 
I think he finds Jawbone taking terrible paying bouncer jobs, and just offers him a bodyguard/assistant job so he has a little buddy to investigate with.
Starts a full out war with Helio followers because they had way too much reach in town, and when they try to debate with him he has Way more knowledge about their scripture than they do and some truly dangerous deity blackmail locked and loaded and Helio himself comes down and says haha leave this kid alone he just implied he can reincarnate a God, let’s go, let’s go.
Finds some insane legal loophole that absolutely strips Adaine and Aelwyn’s parents of influence and gives their children power over all their assets. Weirdly becomes very close friends with Aelwyn, maybe it’s because they both have the same taste in liquor now.
I think he’d start an information guild that involves like Zayn Darkshadow, Fig in her many disguises, Aelwyn and surprisingly Kipperlilly. Also Kalina! And he knows exactly how to summon her and keeps saying things to her that are friendly yet intimidating and it freaks her out.
Walks up to gorgug, hands him a study plan pathway to MCAT and walks off leaving gorgug very confused (and probably asking if he was his dad) 
Just fun time travel future knowledge shenanigans! And I cannot restate again, we saw how quick a Junior Year Riz is at investigating and making leaps to the right answer. By the time he is at the end of his life, I feel like he’s reached moriarty levels of detective prowess. The many new enemies he keeps making keep coming to him and he just strips them down with his powers of deduction. He’s looking at how one person favours their left side, or the crumbs on their wrist and knows everything there is to know about them. 
So just Freshman Year, the perfect run, Riz with a lot of angst in a very satisfying detective story getting closure for a lot of things. 
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chockfullofsecrets · 3 years
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D20 Fantasy High: Making Room
(Read on AO3)
Rating: Gen
Summary: She grunts, presumably shoving at him and not having much success given Fabian’s triumphant snickering. “I said make room-”
Riz pries himself up off the carpet, thinking of moving to help her, when Fabian lets out a startled squeak. Everyone goes quiet.
Fig leans off the bed with truly devilish glee in her tiefling eyes. “Guys, he’s ticklish.”
The Bad Kids try to plan a sleepover, Fabian needs to learn how to share, and Riz is maybe starting to get the hang of this whole friendship thing.
Wordcount: 2.1k
A/N: not to be entirely into D&D on main, but - hey, look, it’s another cool D&D campaign XD shoutout to @hypahticklish for expressing enough interest in this fic to make me want to write it <3
Loose spoilers for the end of Fantasy High Season 1, beware!
---
Riz thinks he’s really starting to get a handle on this whole friendship thing.
Solving a mystery and getting thrown in jail and killing a dragon together aren’t exactly reproducible results, which kind of sucks, but - hey, the six of them are friends now, and they’re hanging out in Fabian’s room on a summer evening, and it’s novel enough to feel like a solved case all on its own.
What’s less satisfying is the amount of missed work they have to catch up on if they want to start as sophomores next year; no one bothered to worry about bringing them homework while they were in actual prison, but all their professors sure seem to care about it now. He gets the feeling that at least part of it is Aguefort trying to keep some degree of respectability after everything that happened with Goldenhoard, but any attempt to reason with him thus far has gotten nowhere but wild-eyed stares and increasingly obtuse lectures on chronomancy and time management. And sure, Riz prides himself on being able to untangle obscure information, but he’s not touching that with a ten foot pole.
They’re all sprawled out on Fabian’s floor, working through assignments with varying levels of fervor ranging from Adaine - actually working with a stack of textbooks nearly up to her shoulder next to her on Fabian’s desk - to Kristen - texting Tracker with a lack of stealth that makes Riz want to grind his teeth a little, even more so than the way she goes bright red and giggles every time her crystal pings - when Fig groans and rolls onto her back.
“You know what?” she says to the room at large, throwing her arms wide. Her hand knocks into her bard notebook, somehow both dusty with disuse and covered in scribbled ballpoint pen sigils. She flips it neatly in the air and elbows it away in Adaine’s direction, earning a half-annoyed yelp. “We should have a sleepover.”
Half of them blink uncomprehendingly, but Kristen drops her crystal in a sudden rush of excitement. “YES,” she shouts. Gorgug, propped against the wall next to her and dozing off over barbarian meditation manuals, startles. “I can show you guys so many cool camp things! We just need a bunch of different colors of yarn and some sticks and - yeah, we can probably skip the holy water to keep the sinners away-”
Riz has - he’s had sleepovers before, if Penny coming over to babysit and finding him crashed out on the couch after a night of reading old case files from his mom counts. He reaches up and straightens his cap, trying to make it look smooth. “Hey, Fabian, do you have coffee here?”
“Wait, wait, hold on a minute.” Fabian, sitting against his giant bed, waves dramatically for all their attention. He looks them over once he gets it, self-importantly adjusting his eyepatch. “Yes, The Ball, we have coffee, we’re not peasants - but sleep over where? Did I miss that part?”
“Uh, here?” Fig says, flinging herself upright. “You’re mom’s super hot - uh, cool, I bet she’d let us do anything.”
“Stop calling my mom hot!” Fabian yelps, glowering for a moment before his chest puffs with familial pride. “Well, we do have at least five guest bedrooms that we could house all of you in-”
“Oh, I don’t need a bed,” Gorgug says hastily. “I’d probably break it, I can just sleep on the floor.”
“Yeah, Fabian, no,” Kristen interjects, gesturing with her staff. Gorgug scrambles to remove the cups they’ve been drinking soda out of from her path. “We’re all supposed to hang out in the same room, that’s kind of the point!” She frowns a little, zeroing in on him. “Have you. Have you never been to a sleepover before?”
Riz hasn’t quite gotten around to making a conspiracy board of how all the specific issues of their messed up childhoods overlap, but he can read the way Fabian startles indignantly loud and clear. “Of - of course I have!” he blusters. “I just - why the fuck would you share a bed if you didn’t have to?”
Adaine scoffs. “Fabian, your bed is enormous, I think we could all fit on it with room for the Hangman left over.”
“No, it’s not!” Fabian scrambles up, chin still raised haughtily, and throws himself bodily on the bed - judging from the way his ankles hang off the edge, he’s starfishing out as far as he possibly can. “I’m - see, I’m a growing boy, I need my space! Cathilda says so.”
Adaine, having claimed the only chair in the room and therefore being the only one at eye level with the mattress, cranes her neck and laughs. “Fabian, you’re covering less than half of the bed. You can just say you’ve never been to a sleepover before, you know.”
Fig stands up and launches herself onto the bed too, landing heavily with the zippers on her leather jacket clanking behind her. “Yeah, you just have to - oof - make room-”
She grunts, presumably shoving at him and not having much success given Fabian’s triumphant snickering. “I said make room-”
Riz pries himself up off the carpet, thinking of moving to help her, when Fabian lets out a startled squeak. Everyone goes quiet.
Fig leans off the bed with truly devilish glee in her tiefling eyes. “Guys, he’s ticklish.”
The room erupts into chaos - Fabian shouting denials, Fig cackling evilly, and Kristen shooting up and banging her shins against the bed before scrambling around to Fabian’s other side. Riz hops up on the desk next to Adaine just in time to watch each of the other girls seize his outstretched arms and start to mercilessly tickle his armpits.
“GAHAHA - no, no, stoHOP-” Fabian flails helplessly between the two of them, still trying to sprawl out over the bed. He manages to wrench his arm free from Fig and shove her away even as he shouts with laughter. “Seacasters are not - ahaaa, haaAA - I’m not ticklish!”
“Oh, yeah?” Kristen taunts. “Then why are you laughing, you - ohshit-”
They’re trying to wrestle him down, but he’s too strong for Fig and too dextrous for Kristen. She lunges for him, red hair flying behind her, and falls straight into his lap.
Fabian catches both of Fig’s wrists in one big hand and uses the other to poke triumphantly at Kristen’s belly, sending her into a fit of cackling giggles. “Aha!” he exclaims triumphantly, struggling into a sitting position. “A Seacaster cannot simply be rousted from his territory!”
All of them know better than to say anything about his dad by now. “Gorgug, come help us hold him down!” Fig demands instead, kicking at Fabian with her platform boots and making him yelp in pain.
Gorgug pulls his headphones all the way off his ears and straightens just enough to take in the tangle of the three of them, looking dubious. “Are you sure? That sounds kind of mean.”
“It’s not a problem if he’s not ticklish, right, Fabian?,” Fig retorts. “And he’s breaking sleepover code by hogging the bed!"
Kristen, still laughing uproariously as she fails to save herself from Fabian’s tickling fingers, somehow manages to shoot Gorgug a pair of finger guns. “Get him, Gorgug!”
Gorgug still looks a little confused - Riz can relate - but he gamely climbs to his feet. “Well, okay.”
He pauses to knock gently on the bedframe, sighing in relief at the heavy thunk that echoes back. “Oh, cool, that’s pretty strong.”
Fig yelps as Fabian lets up on Kristen and starts prodding at her belly instead. “Gorgug, come on!”
“Oh, right,” Gorgug says, and sends the mattress an entire inch to the left as he scrambles on.
“Hell yeah!” Fig cheers as Gorgug climbs on the bed and sweeps Fabian up in a restraining hug. “Sig Figs solidarity!”
Kristen squirms out from between the three of them. “Hey, I’m here too!”
She flops down with a breathy sigh and hugs herself, grinning widely as she catches sight of the identical what-the-fuck expressions that Riz is pretty sure he and Adaine are wearing. “Ugh, I haven’t been tickled in forever.”
Adaine makes a considering sound as Kristen twists back to the battle royale happening behind her. Riz looks over at her, catches one of her ears twitching under the attention before she looks back. “I don’t think I’ve ever been tickled,” she murmurs, a little shy.
Penny’s tickled him before, and maybe his mom when he was little, but yeah, it’s been a while. He shrugs. “You think you’d like it?”
There’s another cry from the bed, and both of them whip around to look. Fig’s looming over a thoroughly trapped Fabian now - just barely, even with her horns - and wriggling her fingers evilly with gleaming eyes. “Are you going to say you’re sorry for breaking sleepover code?”
“There’s - there’s no sleepover code,” Fabian sputters, but he’s grinning sheepishly even as he squirms against Gorgug’s hold. “Gorgug, man, come on, you can’t just betray a fellow member of the Bloodrush team like this!”
“Oh - uh -” Gorgug looks pleadingly at the both of them. “But I’m in the Sig Figs too - does that mean one of you guys is going to be mad at me?”
Fabian barely blinks. “Yes.”
“YES,” says Fig, even louder.
“Oh, come on, you two.” Kristen sits up between Fig and Fabian, poking at both of their sides and cutting their protests off as they suck their lower lips between their teeth with identical wide-eyed looks. Then, with a curious tilt to her head, she reaches around to tickle Gorgug’s side too, grinning as he squeaks. “There are no sides in a tickle fight, everyone knows this.”
Riz forgets that Kristen has three little brothers, sometimes. It’s easy to, until she starts playing peacekeeper between the rest of them.
“Where are all these rules coming from?” Fabian questions indignantly. Adaine makes a sound of agreement next to Riz - is she writing these down?
Oh, who’s he kidding, he’s probably going to ask her for a copy afterwards.
Fig smirks. “Well, I think the person with their hands free should get to enforce the rules. Like so.” She reaches for the thin tank top Fabian’s wearing and scribbles her fingers over his belly, crowing in delight as he shrieks. “Not ticklish, huh? Who’s ticklish now, bitch?”
“You - ahaha, haaa, fuck - anyone’s ticklish when they’re being restrained!” Fabian insists through panicked laughter, wriggling for all he’s worth. Riz squints - maybe it’s just the rogue homework he’s been doing lately, but it looks like Gorgug’s not even holding him that tight.
He shrieks again as Kristen bounces excitedly and reaches for him too. “Nonono, NOHOHO - Kristen, ahaha! You said - eheheee, stop - you said no sihihides!”
“These are your hips, Fabian. And no sides doesn’t mean you can’t gang up on people,” Kristen sticks her tongue out in concentration, squeezing at one of his hips and then the other. “Hey, say you’re ticklish.”
“What? No - hahaha - shit, shiHIHIT-” Fabian starts to really thrash under their teasing - Riz catches him elbowing Gorgug neatly in the gut, but their barbarian absorbs the blow like it’s nothing. Riz tries not to feel jealous and doesn’t entirely succeed.
Kristen smiles beatifically from cheek to freckled cheek. “The truth’ll set you free, brother.”
Fabian shakes his head frantically, catching sight of Riz and Adaine by his desk through teary eyes. “The Ball - The Ball, help me, this isn’t - ahahaha, nonoplease - it’s not fair!” he pleads through the widest smile Riz has seen on him so far, which is saying something. “Don’t you care about justice?”
Fig looks over at them too, now, hair slipping from her braid and fangs on full display as she beams. “Yeah, you two, get over here or you’re next! You’re missing out on the sleepover fun!”
“Oh,” Adaine says uncertainly. “I didn’t know this was part of it.”
She looks over at Riz - not that he knows any better, but he’s absolutely not going to cop to it. “Oh, yeah, tickle fights,” he blusters. “Definitely part of sleepovers. To, uh, tire everyone out.”
Adaine looks out of the window at blue skies just barely starting to blush pink and gets a small, quiet grin on her face that he can’t help but return. “Oh, okay,” she says. “Riz, are you ticklish?”
Oh. Oh, no.
Riz stiffens. It doesn’t seem like anyone else has heard Adaine’s question, maybe he can get under the bed before any of them notice -
He. He could, is the thing, he’s an awesome rogue, but - out here seems pretty fun too. “That’s more of a hands-on investigation thing,” he shoots back, and leaps for the bed before she can catch hold of him.
He is, after all, an investigator first and foremost, and there’s more room to be made on that mattress.
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lillaskiten · 5 years
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Ok so fantasy high is definitely a new obsession because i even wrote fanfic about it. First time posting any of my writing so like, be gentle. anyway this happened because i think The Ball is a stupid nickname but the potential for drama is delicious. Also fabriz is good. The “The Ball” Thing Summary: Riz stands up for himself after it’s all over. Not everyone is thrilled. Important conversations get interjected with important shenanigans.
Despite everything, The Bad Kids were in good spirits when they stepped out of Principal Agueforts office. It had been a harrowing spring break. Between evil shadow clones, demons and beings of pure nightmare it was sure to leave its mark. Jawbone really had his work cut out for him. Adaine still wasn’t over dying for the first time. Fig also died for the first time. She’s good though.
But now they were back in Elmville, heroes once again despite multiple murders, thefts and property damages. It’s familiar and invigorating.
Gorgug took Zelda on a date as soon as they got back. It wasn’t gonna heal over night, but they were working it out. Fig planned an actual vacation for her and Gilear who, gods know how, actually made it back. Adaine, Kristen and Tracker held a celebratory welcome home party at Mordred manor to actually try to get acquainted with their new home. Riz and Fabian immediately met up with their respective mothers to barrage them with the tales of their adventure.
It was good. They were home.
Walking out of the school they couldn’t help but notice Riz walking especially upright. He smiled like he did when on the verge of a breakthrough. Stepping out into the school parking lot he stopped them with certainty that was almost certainly unfounded.
“I would like all of you to follow me to my office,” he said with a glint in his eyes.
“Uh, sure... Why?” Adaine was first to question.
“Please just come along, I happen to have an announcement!” the triumph in his voice was unmistakable.
“That you can’t tell us in the parking lot?” Kristen said.
“Of course not!” though everyone could see how he barely held whatever it was in. “It needs to be official.”
Well, it was Riz. Whatever it was it was probably important. They all shrugged and followed him down to the old office building. Wondering quietly, and in Fabian and Fig’s case; very loudly, what this announcement was about.
~
The office was cleaned and rearranged from the scuffle at the beginning of their adventure. The four who had been subjected to said scuffle walked in carefully. Fabian especially. He shuddered just thinking about nightmare-Riz.
Boggy croaked happily and Fabian felt a little better.
Real-life-Riz must’ve come here as soon as they got back. The space was impeccably clean and so clearly lived in at the same time. It looked like an IKEA display room for deranged detectives. The conspiracy board already had a new case starting to form on it and beside an old coffee cup on the desk lay the Nightmare King file, now with a big red CLOSED scribbled on top.
The Bad Kids tumbled in and filled the space in both spirit and person. At Riz’s indication they all got situated on the floor, each seemingly trying to out-weird the others in their sitting position. Well, Adaine sat prim and proper with boggy in her lap, silently confused over her friends antics. Riz stood, king of his castle, behind the desk. He filled them each a cup of black sludge that was almost coffee. Everyone but Kristen pulled a face when handed their cup.
“The Ball, will this put hair on my chest or make it fall out?” Fabian grimaced.
“Uhh, Both?” Riz waved him off. “But! That does bring me to my announcement…”
Everyone leaned forward in mild anticipation. Was it a new case? Whatever was happening on the conspiracy board? Was he and Sklonda moving? Was he an honorary detective? Was his father actually alive and in hiding and now needed their help on his most dangerous mission yet? (That last one was Figs suggestion.)
“I…” He took a deep breath.
“Wait is he like… coming out?” Kristen whispered to Adaine.
“Didn’t he already? And you think every announcement is someone coming out!” Adaine whispered back.
“Well, she’s right like 50% of the time you know?” Fig squeezed in and plopped a piece of popcorn in her mouth. at least it wasn’t a clove.
Riz paused.
“Did you bring snacks to my heartfelt moment of vulnerability?”
“Oh shit it’s gonna be heartfelt?” Fig exclaimed. “Dang, we are seriously unprepared.”
She quickly conjured a bowl of popcorn for the whole room. They descended on it like a pack of wolves.
After Adaine had broken up the coming fight and divvied the popcorn so that everyone got exactly as many as they wanted in comparison to the others (with any excess given to Boggy) Riz stood there with popcorn in his hand and a little less triumph in his voice.
“So what I was trying to say was…” He paused and looked around the room for any possible interjection. Fig looked like she still had something on her mind but a look shot her down. He coughed and tried to regain that triumphant feeling he’d been carrying all day.
This was his moment. Time to bring his character development to a head!
Boggy croaked happily. Yes, he could absolutely do this!
“I hereby relinquish my status as The Ball,” He said with grandeur, looking each of his friends in the eyes (or eye in Fabians case). “I formerly ask you all to stop calling me by that name.”
“Of course,” Gorgug and Kristen said in unison.
“That’s it?” Adaine said.
“Oh I never really liked The Ball either,” Fig said, chewing popcorn.
“WHAT?” Fabian was aghast. He had stood up and slammed his hands on the desk. “But. You. Are. The Ball.”
“Yeah well I never actually liked that nickname,” Riz said. He looked at the others behind Fabian. “I thought now, with all we’ve been through, I could tell you and still keep you as friends.”
“Of course you’re still our friend, you really thought something like that could get rid of us?” Adaine smiled softly like only she does. “It’s a stupid name anyway, the only one who actually cares is Fabian and maybe Ragh.”
“We should tell Ragh right?” Gorgug said, already on his chrystal. “I’m gonna tell Ragh.”
“Hey shh! I think we’re getting to the good part!” Fig elbowed him, pointing out Fabians red face. Then she shoved a fistful of popcorn into her mouth.
It seemed that Fig was conjuring more and more popcorn for every passing second.
Fabian was sputtering before he finally got the words out:
“But… but it’s our thing! We’re Fabian Aramais Seacaster, son of Bill Seacaster and captain of the bloodrush team, and The Ball!” he gestured wildly at himelf, then at Riz, then himself again. “What? Is the captain of the bloodrush team supposed to be best friends with some… just… not The Ball?”
The rest of the Bad Kids had quieted down, all impressed at Riz for actually hearing Fabian call him his best friend without crying. It was the fifteenth time by the way. Not that they kept count.
“Can’t our thing just be that we’re... Riz and Fabian?” Riz answered. Mostly weirded out by this harsh response.
“NO!”
“Why are you making such a big deal out of this?”
“Because… well…” Fabians mouth tried desperately to form any words to his own liking.
“What?”
And Fabian did something the others had barely ever seen before. He was quiet and thought out his next words.
For a while no one said a thing.
“Hey Fabian did Riz tell you he’s gay?” Kristen interjected into the silence.
“What?” (Fabian)
“WHAT!?” (Riz)
Riz threw daggers at her. Like a literal dagger. It struck the floorboards just short of her.
Boggy croaked happily and her heartrate lowered.
Adaine turned and elbowed her.
“What did we say about outing people for drama, Kristen?” she hissed.
“Even though it is fun it’s still very uncool,” she sighed. “But you know, this is a safe space. And like, I have a plan.”
Adaine rolled her eyes and held Boggy closer. Kristen was lovely but sometimes her impulsiveness really got the better of her. By the desk Fabian was staring at Riz, then back at Kristen, then back at Riz.
“You told Kristen but not me?” he looked actually, genuinely hurt. Which for Fabian still looked a tad like an overreaction.
He could see Riz look away. Everyone else turned awkwardly and drank their almost-coffee. The only one who seemed somewhat comfortable was Gorgug.
“Oh, uh… He told all of us actually,” Gorgug said, thinking he helped clarify the situation.
Four sets of eyes turned to glare at him with various levels of “stop talking.”
“Oh don’t you remember?” he pointed at Kristen. “You me and Adaine were talking about Asexuality, and then Fig came in and you” he pointed at Riz, whose ears were turning red under the green skin, “told us, just super casually, that you were gay and then told us to… to not… tell… uh… uh…… Traacker?” He realized his mistake too late.
Everyone looked at Fabian in horror.
“While I don’t really get why you wouldn’t want Tracker to know,” Thankfully Fabian was still thick when it counted. “I’m still hurt you didn’t tell me, I’m your Best Friend!”
“Well to be completely fair” Riz said. “I told Ragh before I told anyone here.”
Fabian looked almost as wounded as Kristen.
“He is actually very sensitive.”
Fabian looked around the room. A place of traitors. Even Ragh was a traitor and he wasn’t even here.  He didn’t feel so bad about not wanting to stop calling The Ball “The Ball” though. That was nothing important compared to this revelation.
“I’m sensitive, The Ball…” Fabian smiled. “I’m the most sensitive.���
“Ok…” Riz fixed him with a glare. “Then be sensitive to my feelings and call me Riz! It’s not that hard, you’ve done it before.”
“Well, not intentionally! And… just… you know what!” He turned dramatically. “Kristen, WHY did you decide to out my Best Friend in the middle of this, frankly inconsequential, conversation?”
Kristen almost choked on the coffee.
“Mm… You see it’s all part of my Master Plan!” She had a smug smile plastered on her face. “Our adventure is done, over, and through it, all of us have sort of grown and had revelations and just MAJOR character development. Just look at Riz! He realized he was gay and got comfortable enough to stop chasing our approval all the time…”
“I didn’t chase after your app-“
“You did.” Kristen said matter of factly. “Now he’s finally decided he’s not The Ball, he’s an adult! A man! and it’s not just him. I’m secure in Yes? now, Adaine is stepping into her role as the elven oracle and like everyone has had a sexuality and gender chat with me except you. And I want to have one really bad because I think there’s a lot that might be going on here.”
Fig paused her popcorn massacre to play the bassline for Fig and the Sig Figs newest hit “F*ck The Man And Also Being A Man Or A Woman”. It was massively popular.
“And with you…” Kristen hesitated. “Well basically you just got rejected by Aelwynn and after that got progressively sadder?”
“Wait, so your master plan is to get Fabian to talk about his feelings?” Adaine raised an eyebrow.
Kristen shrugged.
“OK!” Fabian decided to put a stop to this. “Why is THAT something we’re working through? Right. Now?”
“Because I am so sure it has something to do with the The Ball thing,” Kristen said, looking a little too excited.
“Ok, oookay,” Fabian said again. “There is no ‘ The Ball thing’.”
Which made everyone around murmur that Yes, there was clearly a “The Ball thing” and it was very weird. Fabian looked around for any ally in the room.
Boggy croaked happily.
“Why do you insist on calling me The Ball, Fabian?” Riz was done playing games. He stared down Fabian who almost shrunk under the force of it.
Fig shoved in another fistful of popcorn.
“Well maybe…” Fabian said, mentally unhinging his jaw to let it say whatever it was going to say. “Maybe it’s true that it’s our thing! And maybe I like that, and thought you liked it too. Maybe it represents our friendship? Maybe it feels like you’re taking away our whole dynamic, you know? Maybe… Maybe I can’t handle Riz?... Maybe Riz is just too close?”
Riz stood dumfounded. Everyone else shoved more popcorn in their mouths.
“Maybe I love you Riz!” He concluded, like he just figured it out himself. “Maybe I’m in love with you, maybe that’s it.”
There was a painful few seconds when Riz just stood quiet. Fabian stood still. A man who was unarmed and naked against a man with every knife sharper than his last.
Then Riz leaned in and kissed him. A quick peck on the lips while their audience erupted into giggles and celebratory shouts.
“Fabian,” Riz looked into his eyes and laughed. “I cry when you call me your best friend. Of course I’m in love with you! I’ve had a weird, sad crush on you since freshman year!”
“I can’t believe not one of the Bad Kids is cishet!” Kristen laughed. Then she shouted: “IS THIS WHAT TRUE BELONGING FEELS LIKE?”
Boggy croaked happily.
Adaine patted Riz on the back while Gorgug quietly started giving Fabian tips for their first date (which, of course, everyone else was going to hijack). Fig was already writing up lyrics for a song about them. Was “The Pirates Ball” a good title? She’d have to workshop it. Kristen felt like it was only right to commemorate this LGBT miracle by once again kissing every other Bad Kid on the mouth.
“Ok that’s it! Out! Everyone out!” Fabian started shoving the rest of them towards the door. Kristen first.
“Hey what gives this is great news!” Fig protested. “Also I’m gonna need the whole story of pining and realization and stuff to make this song really POP!”
“Nope, you’re going out!” He dragged her out by the bass.
“But whyyyy?” Fig groaned while holding on to the doorframe.
Fabian smiled like he hadn’t in weeks.
“I’m gonna get my kisses in.”
195 notes · View notes
tessxomarie · 6 years
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Saving You - Part Seven
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*TRIGGER WARNING: This scene discusses self harm as well as sexual assault. If you need to skip this part, please do so. Please remember if you or someone you know have suffered from sexual assault, there is a link for if you want to reach out: https://www.rainn.org/about-national-sexual-assault-telephone-hotline
Also, if you’d like to message me to talk – I am always here to talk and listen!*
Things go from bad to worse. I promise, things will all fall into place after this part...just have to go through some ugly stuff to get those rainbows.
The 4th of July, a wonderful day in our country. We all get to eat unhealthy foods, blow shit up, drink and party to celebrate our independence. I started this holiday by working a 12-hour night shift. Kendra was walking in as I was walking out, she wasn’t on the clock until Noon, but someone was a no show and that girl is always about making an extra dollar.
It’s now 7:45am, I eat a bagel and drink some chocolate milk because deep down, I’m still a five-year-old at heart.
“Hey, I may be out of here at 3 but if that’s the case I’m going home to nap and I’ll just meet you at the clubhouse later on. I’ll be there for the fireworks.” Kendra texts me right before I go to bed for the day.
“Sounds good, love.” I text back and then I fall asleep.
It’s now 4pm, I literally slept all day - I must have needed it.
I wake up to a bunch of texts, a dozen from Kenz as she was bored at work. She did get off early but now she’s taking her own nap.
Coco texted me asking what time I was going to be there, mentioning Letty was going to be hanging around today and wanted me to keep her company at some point. Lastly, Bishop texted me saying he’s excited to see me.
I manage to get myself out of bed, I look at my mirrored closet and I’m disgusted with my current appearance.
“Jesus, did I go to rave in my sleep?” I ask myself as I survey the bird’s nest on my head. I take a rinse off shower and opt for the dry shampoo look as this is a simple clubhouse party; I’m not impressing anyone tonight.
“Do I try to go all Miley for this holiday or do I try to be the good wholesome All-American Girl?” I ask myself as I stare at my closet pondering life.
After a half hour of sitting in my towel and browsing social media, I opt for a red and navy light weight flannel, white tank and a pair of jean shorts, converse to complete this casual look - “I’m patriotic AF.” I say as I pose in my mirror.
As I’m go to do my hair, I notice my Claddagh ring on my dresser - the sparkle of the emerald is catching my eye, “Okay Grams, I’ll wear the ring. 4th of July is special, I guess.” I say to myself as I slip my ring on. 
I put my hair in a weak side braid, gather my purse, phone and the pasta salad I volunteered to bring because doesn’t every 4th of July party involve some sort of pasta salad? - and then I make my way out the door. 
I pull up to the scrapyard, and Chucky is directing traffic.
“Nurse Aleeah! I’m so happy to see you! Plus, you’re not here for work, that must be a first.” He says to me as he opens my Jeep door.
“Hey Chucky, I think you’re right - this just might be the first time I’ve been here not on nurse duty.” I say to him as he helps grab my pasta bowl and hands it to me. In the distance I hear shouting of some sort, I look over by the fighting cage and my favorite victims are already going at it.
“I may have spoken too soon.” Chucky whispers.
I look at Chucky and quirk a look, “I’m going to take care of this right now.”
I strut right over to the Reyes brothers, pasta salad bowl in hand and all.
“Hey, Dumb and Dumber, can’t we get along for one fucking day?” I shout.
Both boys look away from me, “Oh I’m sorry, was I interrupting? Was I being rude?” I say with sass.
“It’s fine, Lee.” EZ says and shrugs his shoulders looking at his brother. “Yup, we’re fine Leah.” Angel spits back.
Angel takes a step and walks briskly past me, but I’m not in the mood for that today.
“Hey, douchebag.” I holler going after him, which causes him to spin around as quickly as he started walking.
“What?” He spits again.
“I don’t appreciate your attitude towards me these last few days. All I do is save you time and time again, Angel. Don’t treat me like some biker slut when I ask how you’re doing - I fucking stitch you whole again and again, I think I’ve earned a little bit of respect; especially if you tell others I’m the only one you trust.” I end with a whisper.
“Who told you that?” He asks with a nervous look.
“You’re wonderful girlfriend.” I say with another attitude, and just as those words leave my tongue, he turns back and heads towards the clubhouse.
EZ then comes up behind me, “What EZ?” I ask in a grouchy tone.
“He and Adelita are done, broken up or whatever. That’s what he and I were discussing over there. I asked him where he’s been lately, and that’s when he said he told her he was done, and he left her a few days ago.”
I stare at EZ and back towards the Clubhouse with my jaw dropped.
He dumped her...why?
Is she going to come after him?
So many thoughts race through my mind.
“I need to get this pasta inside.” I stutter and before EZ can even respond, I’m on autopilot to the clubhouse.
I’m greeted by Gilly and Riz, Riz takes my pasta bowl and puts it on the table with the other dishes.
It’s already getting busy up in here, a lot of families are hanging around inside and it seems as they are prepping to take most of the party outside in the yard. “Remind me again, why the hell is the clubhouse the hosting spot this year?” I ask Gilly.
“Well, last year we may or may not have sparked a little fire at Bishop’s place, so it was that night he declared next year’s party would be held at the clubhouse and here are.”
“Ahh, I see. Nothing says independence like having a party with outlaws.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing, Leah.” Gilly jokes as he gives me a half hug.
“Aleeah!” I hear Bishop shout as he enters the room. “How are you, sweetheart?” He asks as he kisses my cheek.
“I’m good. Survived my night shift, slept all day, pasta salad was made and now I’m here.” I say with a smile.
“I’m glad you’re here and it’s not for medical reasons.” He says with a laugh.
“Shh, the night hasn’t even begun. There’s plenty of time for fuckery.” I say with a cautious smile.
I chat with a few of the guys for a few moments, I then see Angel emerge and our eyes lock.
The spark that was there, it’s gone now.  I so badly want to talk to him, but I don’t even know how to start a conversation with him without straight for a sassy comment.  
“Hey Bish, Oakland will be here in a little bit.” I hear Hank say from the bar.
I look over at Hank’s way and back at Bishop…Oakland...Erik...fuck fuck fuck.
“Oakland is coming?” I nervously question Bish.
“Oh yeah, some of them called asking what we were doing so I invited them down to join our big fiesta. It’s going to be great, right?” He says as he gives me another half hug.
I stand there frozen and I just nod my head.
Erik is coming. I just know it.
I reach for my phone and text Kendra. I know she’s still sleeping, but maybe I’ll get lucky. My nerves are now in high gear.
That is when Coco comes to my rescue for the time being. “Lee Lee!” He shouts as he comes in for a hug.
“Coco, how are you doing? Everything healing up alright?” I ask doing a once over.
“Yeah, I’m feeling good. Leg is a little sore, but I’m fine. Leticia is in the office, I had her finish up some filing shit – keeping her busy. She always enjoys chatting with you, so if you could go say hi to her, that would make me super happy.” Coco says with a small smile.
“Oh my gosh, of course Coco. I could use a distraction right now actually, so I’ll go visit her right now.” I say ready to head out the door but Coco holds me back, “Angel has been an asshole to everyone lately, don’t take it too personal, Lee. He broke it off with Adelita right after we got the clear to leave the clubhouse, I guess he’s taking it a little harder than he had planned.”
I wasn’t even referring to Angel, but the explanation does justify his attitude – it still isn’t acceptable.
“Thanks of the heads up.” I say with a small smile as I head out of the clubhouse and head to the office.
“Knock Knock.” I say as I slowly open the door to find Letty at the desk.
“Leah!” She says with excitement.
“How are you Letty?” I ask as she gets up and greets me with a hug.
“I’m alright, as you can see my dad is keeping me busy.” She tells me as she shows the piles of folders on the desk.
“He’s just keeping you safe.” I assure her.
“That’s what they keep telling me.” She says as she sits back down.
“So, how is everything going? I’ve heard EZ and Angel have kept you busy.” She says with a small giggle.
“Boys, nothing good comes from them.” I respond shaking my head. 
“I mean, some good things come from them.” Letty says with a wink.
“Jesus child, you’re not even legal to vote yet. Calm down.” I reprimand with a laugh.
Letty and I continue to catch up on life, she asks me a lot about the clinic and hospital.
I get lost in a daze and find myself snapping my ponytail on my wrist and then Letty snaps me out of it, “Leah are you alright?” She worriedly asks.
“Yeah, yeah. I’m good.” I say with a flat face, still snapping my pony-tail.
“Can I ask you something?” Letty asks sharply, yet eagerly.
“Of course, shoot.”
“I don’t want to upset you or anything, I’m genuinely curious about this and that’s why I’m asking; why do you snap that pony tail holder so often? Is it like a therapy thing?”
I’m a bit taken a back by her words, only because I’ve never had anyone question the ponytail before.
“Huh, that is a good question, Letty. Umm, I guess there is no easy way to come out and say this so here it goes; I use to cut myself when I was around your age. I was one of those teens that used this as a stupid coping mechanism when my mom was too drugged out to give a damn, or when her drug dealer boyfriend would knock me around – the last time I cut myself was last year and that’s because I was hurt really bad. Before that, I think I was around 21 when I last cut myself. I snap the pony tail whenever I feel nervous or anxious, figured it’s safer to snap elastic than use a blade.” I say with some humor because I hate serious talks, they just never end well in my history.
Leticia just stares at my wrist and then up at me, “Fuck, Leah. I’m so sorry – I had no idea.”
“Oh no, don’t apologize. You asked, I wanted to give you a truthful answer.” I reply with a smile.
“So, the hair tie prevents you from making the choice to cut yourself?” She asks.
“Yeah, it does. In rare moments when I’m not wearing one, it’s not for long. Just remember this, if you see a naked wrist for more than an hour,– that usually means something horrible happened and I’m being an idiot.”  
I leave Letty to finish up the work Coco had left for her.
As I walk through the yard, I see a lot more people are here. Women, their kids, other friends of the club are all here for a big 4th of July bash.
I see a few of the boys on the grill, prepping for the big feast. Everyone is smiling, laughing, music is playing; it’s perfect, in a very dysfunctional biker way.
I make my way to the door of the clubhouse and that’s when I hear a roar of bikes.
Oakland is here.
I rush inside as if it’s my safe zone.
I see EZ and Gilly by the pool table, Angel is on the couch with a few whores hanging on him. I go by EZ, I know he’ll keep me safe.
My stomach is in knots, as I know Erik is here. I haven’t seen him, but I just know it. I don’t want him to walk in here, but I almost want him to so I can get this over with.
Jesus, I need Kendra.
As I watch the guys play pool, I reach in my pocket for my phone so I can text Kendra yet again.
“When will you be here? I need you.” I type out and press send.
“I just woke up, I’ll be there in a little.” Kenz replies.
I let out a sigh, wishing my best friend would just hurry her ass up.
“Everything alright, Lee?” EZ asks as he heard my sigh.
“Yeah, I just want Kenz to be here already.” I admit.
“I think she’ll be here in a little.” He says.
“Oh will she now? You know her schedule now?” I tease. EZ just flashes me a big smile.
“Hey guys, food is ready!” Riz comes in and announces. Most of the crowd inside heads outside, some remain inside and snack on what is remaining at the table.
I opt to stay inside because no Oakland guys have come inside yet.
I’m safe.
EZ is still in here.
I’m protected. 
I do not have to be afraid.
I pick at my pasta salad, the nerves are still there.
You know that feeling you get when you just know something is about to happen, you just want that moment to happen and get over with already? That’s me, right now.
Just let Erik walk in, let me see him and then I can make my exit, I think to myself.
I get up to throw away my plate and that is when the clubhouse door opens and my stomach drops.
He’s here.
I look to the door, and a handful of the Oakland guys have now entered.
I’m about to head back by the pool table, but I see EZ heading towards the door.
“I’m gonna be outside for a bit, Kendra is coming now.” He informs me and then as quickly as he informed me, he’s out the door.
A handful of MC friends are now inside, and Angel, He’s at the bar.
I figure this is my chance, I can go make nice with him and use him as my distraction to keep Erik away.
“Hey Angel.” I say as I shimmy between the bar chairs.
“What do you want?” He spits.
“Can’t I just say hi?” I ask.
“Come on, Leah. That’s never the case with us, we never just say ‘hi’”.
He has a point, but I don’t have the time for his logic right now.
“Okay, I umm…I just wanted to talk to you, I first wanted to say I’m sorry to hear about you and Adelita and to also apologize for going off on her the last time we were all in here.”
Angel looks at me, I’m looking at the ground nervously and I feel his gaze on me. I slowly look up, and he’s searching for words.
Just as he’s about to say something, an arm snakes around my waist.
Erik.
“Aleeah, mami. Is this where you have been hiding? Why you hiding baby? You should be out there partying with everyone else.”
“Erik, leave me alone.” I say as I remove his arm from my waist, but he then places his arm there again.
“That’s not so nice, baby. Why you gotta be so rude?” He asks as he rubs my cheek, and I backhand his arm.
“Ooo, still feisty I see.”
“Erik, you’re being rude. Can’t you see I’m talking to Angel?” I motion.
“Oh, we’re done talking.” Angel interjects.
“Angel wait, we need to finish talking. Please, I’m begging you.” I plead as Erik’s grip on my waist gets tighter.
“I love to hear you beg, Mami. Come on, let’s take this party to the next room.” Erik says low, but it’s loud enough for Angel to hear.
“It appears you have someone else wanting your attention, Leah. Have fun.” He says as he walks away and that is when all hope of mine is gone.
I look around the clubhouse and there is not one familiar face around, and now Erik has tightened his grip on my wrists.
“That’s better.” He whispers in my ear.
“Erik, no. Please, please stop whatever this is. I’m not interested.” I beg as I try to push him off of me.
“You know the more you say no, or the more you beg for me to stop, it just turns me on more, baby. Come on, let’s have some fun. I need to show you what you missed out at the last party.” He creepishly says as he runs his finger along my jaw.
I can feel tears forming in my eyes, “No, Erik. Please, stop. Let’s go outside.” I try to suggest.
It’s then when he grabs my face and whispers in my ear, “Nobody gets to see what I’m about to do to you. That’s a private matter, mami. C’mon, lets go.” He says as he now his hand over my mouth to keep me quiet.
I want to scream, but I’m frozen in fear.
He then guides me to one of the rooms down the hall, I drag my feet but he then pulls my hair.
“Let’s go slut, I need to remind you of a few things.” He says as he closes the door. I try to scream but he slaps my face before a sound escapes.
“Don’t be stupid, Leah. Don’t fight me, baby.” He tells me as me touches my face and traces my body with his slimey fingers that makes my body quiver in the worst way.
“Erik, no. please, stop.” I beg as the tears start rolling down my cheeks.
He laughs. He fucking laughs.
He’s holding my wrists so tight, I can’t move if I tried - I’m frozen.
I want to fight, I try to wiggle around him, I try to knee him, I try to hit him. That only results in more bitch slaps and hair pulls.
My poor effort to escape is fading, I almost wish he would just kill me instead, at least I wouldn’t have to relive this pain again.
I then hear a zipper unzip, and I feel his breath on the back of my neck.
It’s happening. Again. 
My worst nightmare is happening again, and I’m helpless. 
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weekendwarriorblog · 3 years
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The Weekend Warrior 9/10/21 - MALIGNANT, THE CARD COUNTER, TIFF 2021, LANGUAGE LESSONS, THE ALPINIST, EVERYBODY’S TALKING ABOUT JAMIE, FAUCI, and More!
Before we get to this week’s releases-- and there are a lot of them, though not necessarily wide releases -- I probably should mention that the Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF) is beginning this week up North across the board. I was unable to go in person, more due to the money than any worries about COVID. (Honestly, I have no idea what’s going on at the border right now between America and Canada, but I figured I better wait it out before attending TIFF in person… until I can actually afford it.)
This year’s TIFF offers a lot of premieres, most of them taking place in physical theaters in Toronto, such as Edgar Wright’s, Last Night in Soho, (which just premiered in Venice) and Universal’s musical, Dear Evan Hansen, as well as David Gordon Green’s horror sequel, Halloween Kills (which also just played in Venice oddly). Other movies playing TIFF include Jane Campion’s The Power of the Dog, and The Electrical Life of Louis Wain, both which star Benedict Cumberbatch. Mihael Peace's Encounter, starring Riz Ahmed and Octavia Spencer, and docs like Julia (as in "Child") and Attica. There’s even a doc about the Canadian rock band, Triumph! (I’m looking forward to that one.) Antoine Fuqua’s remake of the German film, The Guilty, starring TIFF regular Jake Gyllenhaal, will have its premiere, and many, many more. Too many to watch, let alone write about, but I’ll try to review a few of these over at Below the Line and maybe some here. (There are also lots of movies that premiered at Cannes in July that will play at TIFF, and some of those will also play at New York Film Festival later this month, which is where I’ll see them.)
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A movie that I’ve been looking forward to for quite some time and is finally seeing the light of day is James Wan’s return to horror, MALIGNANT (Warner Bros.). Unfortunately, I don’t think I’ll have a chance to see this before Friday, which is a bit of a bummer, but I’ll look forward to seeing it with the common people in a theater. Because I’m looking forward to this movie so much, I haven’t even watched the latest trailer, so I really don’t know too much about it, which may be for the better.
Of course, you know Wan’s name from some of the most successful horror franchises of the past two decades, starting with Saw in 2004. After a few movies that didn’t do quite so well, Wan reteamed with his Saw collaborator Leigh Whannell for Insidious in 2010, which also did very well and created a similarly successful franchise. (Whannell would go on to direct the third movie in the series, the respectable sci-fi thriller Upgrade, and then he directed 2020’s The Invisible Man for Universal, which was also a substantial hit.) Meanwhile Wan went on to direct The Conjuring in 2013 and its 2016 sequel, The Conjuring 2, based on the true case files of supernatural investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren, played by regular Wan collaborator Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga. Both of those “Conjuring” movies opened with $40 million+, and you guessed it, they also led to hugely successful franchises for Warner Bros with spin-offs galore.
Although Wan has been making big studio mega-blockbusters like Furious 7 and Aquaman in recent years -- and he’s hard at work on a sequel to the latter -- Malignant is his return to horror after a whole five years, which certainly is exciting for horror fans and those who love Wan’s style of horror particularly.
One thing that’s become fairly obvious from writing about box office over the past couple decades is that horror movies are rarely sold on the names of their stars, although Wan has a fine lead in the form of Annabelle Wallis, who just so happened to have starred in the 2014 The Conjuring prequel called Annabelle, which did quite well. (No, she did not play the title doll Annabelle, if you haven't seen it.) And that’s about it. The fact that Wan can do whatever he wants these days, and he decides to return to the horror genre without stacking the deck with all sorts of name actor, is pretty impressive. Even Saw had bigger names actors like Carey Elwes and Danny Glover!
Although I don’t know much about Malignant, it’s definitely giving me vibes of Sam Raimi’s Drag Me To Hell, the horror master’s return to horror after making three “Spider-Man” movies. Although it’s well-loved by horror fans, it ended up opening with just $15.8 million in the summer of 2009. That’s a little daunting when you figure that Malignant is opening in September and in the second weekend of a huge blockbuster like Marvel’s Shang-Chi.
But there’s something else that’s been bugging me, as excited as I am to see the movie. I’ve been doing this a long time, and Warner Bros. has become almost legendary for screening all their movies in advance… every single one. I can maybe think of two examples of movies that didn’t get advance critics screenings. Malignant is screening for critics but only on Thursday night with an embargo Thursday at 10pm. That is not the move of a studio confident in a movie they’re releasing. Maybe it’s to avoid spoilers or maybe it’s ‘cause Malignant returns Wan to the craziness of the Insidious movies rather than the more commercial and mainstream horror of The Conjuring movies. I don’t know, cause I haven’t seen it, but I'm still gonna go see it on Friday night, ‘cause I like James and want to fully support his movie.
But that adds another layer of foreboding to the horror movie that will also be on HBO Max Friday, and it’ll be so easy for the curious to just hit “play” on their remote to watch it that way, which is what I think most people will do. Because of this, I’m struggling to find a way that Malignant makes more than $13 million, taking quite a distant second place to Shang-Chi in its second weekend.
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Opening in roughly 500 theaters Friday is Paul Schrader’s THE CARD COUNTER (Focus Features), which stars Oscar Isaac as former prison inmate and professional gambler, “William Tell,” who drives around the casino circuit making money by playing blackjack and poker. He meets two people on his journey that changes the course of his path, the first being Tye Sheridan’s Cirk (Yes, with a “C”), a young man whose father ended up killing himself after serving time in military prison for crimes at Abu Ghraib. Tiffany Haddish plays La Lina, a woman who sees Will’s talent playing cards and wants to put him in her stable of players. The relationship between these three characters is what keeps the movie interesting even when there are only a few minor dramatic fireworks.
If there’s any doubt that Schrader, a significant Hollywood player in the ‘70s and ‘80s, is firing on all cylinders then The Card Counter confirms that 2017’s First Reformed was no fluke, as Schrader remains valid and important well into his 70s. Like First Reformed, this film features an undeniably solid performance from Isaac, who plays such a subdued character, an enigma who every so often truly explodes.
Sheridan's sheepish Cirk seems like an odd choice in road companion, although Haddish proves to be quite a counter (pun intended) to Isaac, as she seems far more comfortable in Will's world. Trying to understand Will and what he sees in Cirk and why he joins the World Poker Tour circuit despite wanting to remain anonymous is what keeps The Card Counter so invigorating. (One odd thing is that despite the title and the opening which literally teaches the viewer how to count cards while playing Blackjack, in most of the movie he’s actually playing poker.)
Folks who enjoy poker movies and the intricacies of Vegas and the gambling community in general should really enjoy The Card Counter for that aspect alone, but then there's the past of the main character, which ties into Abu Ghraib and the horrors of the tortures committed there. Some might feel that two decades after 9/11 isn't the best time to bring those crimes back to the forefront, but Schrader ably explores what it must have been like for the military torturers after they were convicted.
Few screenwriters and filmmakers could pull off what Schrader does in terms of combining these elements, as the story weaves itself through these very different worlds. Frequent Schrader collaborator, Willem Dafoe, takes on a smaller but still significant role as “Gordo,” Will’s commanding officer who trained him to torture. Even so, one of my favorite moments is a scene in a diner where Will performs a card trick for Cirk that would make the late Ricky Jay proud just adds to one's enjoyment.
I will say that I wasn’t as thrilled by the movie’s last ten minutes, as it feels like Schrader ran out of steam in terms of how to resolve all the pieces of a puzzle, leaving a couple pieces out before completion. Regardless, The Card Counter is a constantly compelling film that keeps you invested in the different characters’ behavior as things happen to and around them.
As far as box office, The Card Counter isn't getting a very wide release but with so many movies in the top 10 quickly dropping away leaving movies like Shang-Chi at the top, it should leave room for Schrader's film to inch its way into the top 10 and maybe even the top 5!
A movie I’m unlikely to see and know very little… okay… nothing… about is the faith-based SHOW ME THE FATHER (Sony/AFFIRM Films), which will open in about 1,000 theaters on Friday. Okay, fine, you twisted my arm, and I looked it up. This is a new documentary about fatherhood from the Kendrick Brothers, the duo behind faith-based hits like War Room, Courageous, and Fireproof. I've seen none of those movies, though I know all of them exceeded expectations, but this is also a doc, and those rarely do as well at the box office. I wish I could give you a definitive number for this, but something makes me think it won’t make more than $2 million, even if the religious right seem less worried about COVID and vaccines and wearing masks in movie theaters than everyone else. Expect it to end up in the bottom of the Top 10 with lots of confused movie writers not knowing what it is.
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Kristen Bell and Kirby Howell-Baptiste (who have appeared both on The Good Place and in Veronica Mars together) co-star in the comedy QUEENPINS (STXfilms), which is being released straight to Cinemark Theaters on Friday and then it will be on Paramount+ on Sept. 30.
In the movie, based on a true story, Bell plays Connie Kominski, a suburban Phoenix housewife who thrills to saving money with coupons, hatches a scheme with her best friend JoJo (Howell-Baptiste) to sell coupons via mail, not realizing that what they’re doing is illegal as they rack up millions of dollars. Unfortunately, they have Paul Walter Hauser’s Loss Prevention Manager Ken Miller on their tail, and he teams with postal inspector Simon Kilmurry (Vince Vaughn) to try to catch them women trying to scam the supermarkets.
This movie, written and directed by Aron Gaudet and Gita Pullapilly, actually is based on a true story, but it took me a little while to get into it, and it definitely had its ups and downs. The first thing one has to get past is the fact that this is essentially a heist film that involves illicit coupons, and at first, Connie writing letters of complaint to companies comes across a bit like a Greenberg for middle-aged women. (Note: that film's star, Ben Stiller is one of the movie's exec. producers.) On the other hand, Kristen Bell tends to be great in this kind of role and you can tell she's worked with Ms. Howell-Baptiste from their organic chemistry as best friends. Joel McHale has a tougher time fitting in as Connie's husband Rick, but that actually works in this case. (A little trivia fact: McHale, Howell-Baptiste and Natalie Morales, whose directorial debut is reviewed below, all appeared in BenDavid Grabinski's Happily, as did Stephen Root, who has a small role in Queenpins.)
Queenpins eventually falls into a steadier pace with the introduction of Hauser's character and then bringing Vaughn into the mix, although the two of them have very little interaction with the two female leads, as the film instead cuts between the two duos. Hauser essentially seems to be playing a jokier version of Richard Jewell here, constantly trying to get more involved in the case and wanting to be deputized by Vaughn. The two of them work well together, and there's only one unfortunate scene involving… it's too disgusting to mention, but it's where the film needlessly delves into gross-out humor, and that's also where it falters.
As much as the law in this movie act like buffoons, the two ladies don't seem very much smarter, doing idiotic things like buying Lamborghinis and guns in order to "clean” the illicit money from the coupon-selling scam. Because of that, Queenpins gets sillier and sillier and feels less like any sort of possible true story as it goes along. The movie basically comes across like a less skilled version of Butter, but in that case, it was a movie that shouldn't have worked but did. In this case, it's the exact opposite.
Cinemark Theaters only has about 331 theaters across America, including a lot in Texas, California, and Ohio, but honestly, I don't think awareness is high enough for Queenpins for it to make much of a mark, but even if it makes less than a million, it could theoretically break into the top 10 this weekend, but I think it will fall just short.
The movies above are the only ones that may be going even remotely wide, so because of that, this weekend’s box office will look something like this with Shang-Chi remaining #1 with relative ease, Malignant taking a distant second, and Candyman and Free Guy fighting it out for #3.
1. Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (Marvel/Disney) - $33.5 million -56%
2. Malignant (Warner Bros.) - $13.6 million N/A
3. Candyman (Universal) - $4.8 million -53%
4. Free Guy (20th Century/Disney) - $4.5 million -42%
5. The Card Counter (Focus) - $2.2 million N/A
6. Jungle Cruise (Walt Disney Pictures) - $2.1 million -48%
7. Paw Patrol: The Movie (Paramount) - $2 million -50%
8. Show Me the Father (Sony/AFFIRM) - $2 million N/A
9. Don’t Breathe 2 (Sony/Screen Gems) - $2 million -30%
10. Respect (MGM) - $600,000 -57%
--- Queenpins (STXfilms) - $445,000 N/A
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It was tough to pick a “Chosen One” this week, because there are a few decent films, but I had to go with Natalie Morales’ directorial debut, LANGUAGE LESSONS (Shout! Studios!), which she co-wrote and co-stars in with Mark Duplass. I saw it at SXSW back in March, and I loved it just as much a second time around, due to the simplicity of the premise and just how much Morales and her co-star do using similar Zoom technology we’ve all been using for the past 18 months. Duplass plays wealthy Californian Adam, whose husband buys him a series of Spanish lessons, given over Zoom by Morales’ character Cariño, who lives in Costa Rica.
You might think after over a year of mostly communicating with family and friends via Zoom, we’d be so sick of it that a movie that uses that as a conceit would be absolutely horrible, but maybe that’s why it’s easier to connect with what Morales and Duplass were attempting with this terrific piece of work. How these two people from different backgrounds interact begins slowly as might be the case while getting online language lessons from a new teacher. As they become more comfortable with each other, there’s more playfulness, as they begin to open up to each other. (Adam's Spanish teacher definitely has a dark side that comes out as things go along.)
I’m not sure if there was a lot of improvisation involved with the script as with some of the films Duplass did with the wonderful Lynn Shelton, but however they put this film together, it works in a similar way where it’s charming and funny, even during some of the more emotional moments. Because Duplass’ character is declared as gay fairly on, there's none of the attempts at making this some sort of meet-cute romance, as may have been the case with a studio movie. There's also never anything lascivious or creepy about their relationship, which makes some of the moments a little confounding, but ultimately, it all pays off.
Even though there’s a certain aspect of the movie that makes you want it to be kept organic and authentic-feeling, there is some gentle scoring by Gaby Moren that’s kept far behind the dialogue that does add something subliminal to the film.
Language Lessons is absolutely delightful -- definitely one of my favorite films of the year -- maybe because it thrives on its own simplicity by just having two actors doing what they do best.
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Another great movie coming out in select theaters Friday is EVERYBODY’S TALKING ABOUT JAMIE (Amazon), starring Max Harwood as Jamie New, a fairly normal gay 16-year-old from Sheffield, England… other than the fact that he wants to be a drag queen. His mother Margaret (Sarah Lancashire) supports him, as does his best friend Pritti (Lauren Patel) but Jamie risks the ridicule and mocking and bullying of his entire Year 11 class as he proclaims his desire to attend prom in drag. This is the feature debut by Jonathan Butterell, a choreographer who directed the original stageplay.
I honestly wasn't really sure what to expect when I went to a theater to see this with a real audience. For one thing, I had no idea it was a musical. I had seen Max on some morning show talking about the movie and how it was based on the true story of Jamie Campbell, a British teen who wanted to be a drag queen, but I don’t remember him saying anything about singing or dancing. And the music and performances are all terrific, including all the young actors playing Jamie’s schoolmates, who have more than a few spectacular numbers to show off their own skills. (They’re kind of like the Greek chorus for the film.)
Harwood is exceedingly likeable, which is why he can carry this film, but it’s then an even bigger joy when Richard E. Grant shows up in a mentor role, as former drag queen “Loco Channel.” Grant has proven countless times he can do anything, and though his singing voice takes some adjusting to, it also leads to two absolutely amazing moments. Same with Lauren Patel and Sarah Lancashire, who each have numbers that would bring down the house on a Broadway stage but just gets the tears flowing as you’re watching on the screen. Sharon Horgan, who was just in the recent drama Together, plays more of the antagonist role as Jamie’s disapproving teacher, and her one number does not show that singing is one of her talents. (She does okay, and gets through it, at least.)
That aside, Everybody’s Talking About Jamie is a truly wonderful musical (and movie), one that took me quite by surprise, since I wasn't expecting something a bit more "Free to Be You and Me” (look it up). In fact, Harwood shines, and the cast around him does as well; the fact this musical was able to bring out so many emotions from me offers proof positive that it's a true winner.
Jamie is opening in select theaters this Friday, and then it will stream on Amazon Prime Video starting Sept. 17. I recommend going out and seeing it in a theater if it’s playing near you; it’s a real crowdpleaser, for sure.
Also launching on Amazon this Friday is the series, THE VOYEURS (Amazon), starring the terrific Sidney Sweeney (who many will know from Mike White’s The White Lotus on HBO Max) and Justice Smith as a young couple who move into a loft apartment in Downtown Montreal after which they become interested in the sex life of their neighbors across the street (played by Ben Hardy and Natash Liu Bordizzo).
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I’ve really been looking forward to the action-thriller KATE (Netflix), starring Mary Elizabeth Winstead, who I love, so sue me. It also stars Woody Harrelson, who I’m also a fan of. Directed by Cedric Nicholas-Troyan (The Huntsman: Winter’s War), it has Winstead playing Kate, a kick-ass assassin who has 24 hours to get revenge on the man who tries to kill her, eventually teaming with the daughter of one of her targets. Harrelson plays her handler.
The fact that this movie, starring one of my favorite actresses playing an assassin and doing a bit more action than we've seen from Winstead in a while (Birds of Prey being an exception), comes so soon after The Protégé with Maggie Q may only be a coincidence, but whoever is making these movies clearly knows what I'm all about. This one also has a very tiny sci-fi angle as well, and much of it is set in Tokyo, so it has both those things going for it, too.
Is this Winstead's best role or movie? No, probably not, but it does show her versatility, the fact that she can do something like Scott Pilgrim and other types of genre, but also do serious drama, and this is much stronger a venture into a Japanese yakuza thriller by a Westerner than last week's Yakuza Princess. Much of that comes down to Winstead and Harrelson, who do a much better job selling even the weaker dialogue, because you can tell they're both taking it very seriously. Like Yakuza Princess (and Kill Bill, a model for both of them) Nicholas-Troyan leans heavily on his soundtrack and on some of the more stylish visuals, but at least this one offers other things beyond the constantly-circling camera in certain scenes.
Let's face it that watching Winstead taking part in some pretty impressive and violent fight and stunt sequences would probably be more than enough for me to enjoy this even, if there are moments that rip-off Kill Bill so obviously but again, better than other similar rip-offs. Eventually, Kate gets sidled with a young teen girl, Ani (Miku Martineau), the daughter of one of her victims, and that does take away from the "sole assassin” aspect but does give it more of the feel of The Professional. Maybe that would work better if Martineau didn’t seem much older than the teenager she was meant to be playing, which might be due to the fact that she swears more than Samuel L. Jackson. In some ways, Ani offers something more akin to Black Widow with a third act twist that few will see coming.
Ultimately, the movie works well as an action movie, if not slightly marred by its overuse of clichés. It probably will come as no surprise that I prefer seeing action movies like this on the biggest screen possible in a theater, and in fact, this did get a nominal theatrical run last week before streaming on Netflix Friday. Winstead's badassery does wonders at making sure that fans of her and the genre won't be disappointed by its few flaws.
Also hitting Netflix this week (today, in fact) is the doc BLOOD BROTHERS: MALCOLM X & MUHAMMAD ALI (Netflix), which has a fairly self-explanatory title. I haven't seen it yet.
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A movie that people who liked the Oscar-winning Free Solo will also want to check out is Peter Mortimer and Nick Rosen’s THE ALPINIST (Red Bull Media/Roadside Attractions/Universal), a documentary about the 23-year-old solo mountain climber Marc-André Leclerc, whose amazing climbs were counterbalanced by his elusive behavior that kept him mostly under the radar for so many years.
This is a very different movie from Free Solo, though. That was about Alex Honnold's determination to make one singular climb, while Leclerc was already making just as many impressive climbs at a younger age. It's pretty obvious that Leclerc was destined to climb even bigger rock faces as Mortimer (whose previous film, The Dawn Wall, was sadly overlooked with all the push behind Free Solo) and Rosen finally catch up with him.
I don't really want to say too much more about the film or Leclerc, since it's best to learn about him through the movie and the amazing interviews compiled by the filmmaking duo. There's a good reason why mountain climbing continues to be of interest to the casual non-climbers like myself. Great films like The Alpinist find ways to glorify these amazing climbers without glossing over how dangerous mountain climbing can be as a sport or hobby.
The Alpinist had a Fathom Event on Tuesday night, but it will also be getting a moderately wide release in theaters through Roadside this Friday as well. You can read my interviews with the filmmakers over at Below the Line, too. Also, I mentioned another Universal doc, Under the Volcano, a few weeks back, and I have an interview with those filmmakers over at Below the Line, as well.
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Another doc of note out this week is FAUCI (NatGeo Documentary/Magnolia) from directors John Hoffman and Janet Tobias, which looks at the life and career of NIH Director Dr. Anthony Fauci, but it doesn't deal with the last year and a half where Fauci's main focus was fighting COVID. No, this goes back to earlier in his career, to when he started at NIH, meeting, working with and eventually marrying his wife, Dr. Christine Grady. (Nope, I had no idea he was married either.)
More importantly, the movie follows Fauci's role in the discovery of HIV and AIDs and the conflicts between the government and protest groups like ACT UP who didn't think Fauci and the government did enough to help the gay community fight against AIDS and certainly not fast enough to make a difference.
Hoffman and Tobias’ doc has a fantastic interview with Fauci at its core that sometimes gets a little cutesy, but also allows him to talk candidly about his efforts in fighting disease, including the efforts to help fight Ebola in Africa where it was so debilitating for those who couldn't afford medicine that the USA had to step in.
But AIDS is really the crux of the film's exploration of Fauci's past achievements (and partial failures), and watching a younger Fauci talking to the AIDS activists in a rousing speech is one of the highlights, as is watching the present-day Fauci tearing up while talking about an AIDS patient who died.
I’ve always had a bit of a skewed perspective on epidemiologists and infectious disease doctors due to a few incidents when I was fighting cancer, and Fauci has annoyed me for the good part of the year by being so wishy-washy and negative towards movie theaters (which led to a full-year of closings in NYC with no major super-spreader cases since they reopened). But this documentary definitely helped change my mind about Fauci, maybe because the general public really never had a chance to meet or know him or his work before COVID hit.
Fauci is quite a fantastic doc in terms of shining the spotlight on a needlessly controversial figure who has been politicized despite having held his position through six administrations. I would definitely point someone to this doc if they still feel negatively towards the country’s top epidemiologist. It helps to humanize Fauci much like the RBG doc did for the late Supreme Court Justice.
Seriously, there are so many movies this week that there’s no way I’m gonna review everything, but you can read about a few of them below.
A music doc hitting New York on Friday and then opening in L.A. on Sept. 17 is Tom Surgals's FIRE MUSIC: The Story of Free Jazz (Submarine Deluxe), exec. produced by Nels Cline and Thurston Moore (who happens to be playing his first NYC show in a couple years this Sunday). It covers the free jazz movement of the '60s and '70s that produced the likes of Ornette Coleman, Cecil Taylor, Sun Ra, Albert Ayler, and John Coltrane. The movie features archival footage from the '60s jazz scene and interviews with key players, including critic Gary Giddins. I'm not going to review this, but it's pretty good, because I definitely had a phase when I was really into this type of jazz, basically all-improvisational with less structure than the jazz that uses charts and such. I know that a lot of people hate or misunderstand the musical style but it's quite stirring, as is Surgal's film. I do feel you'll already have to be a fan of the musical genre to enjoy the movie, though.
Hitting Apple TV+ on Friday is the filmed version of the Broadway musical, COME FROM AWAY (Apple TV+) -- similar to last year’s Hamilton and David Byrne’s American Utopia -- which is being released on the streamer to coincide with the 20th anniversary of 9/11, since the musical is loosely based on the events. It was filmed earlier this year, 14 months into the pandemic that shut down Broadway with a fully-masked audience watching Broadway’s first live performance since the shut-down. This is one of the MANY musicals on Broadway that I’ve never gotten around to seeing but it involves a town in Newfoundland, Canada where a plane lands on 9/11 as they’ve been diverted following the terrorist attack on the World Trade Center.
Claire Lewins’ doc THE WONDERFUL: STORIES FROM THE SPACE STATION (Dog Star Films/Universal Home Entertainment) features footage from the International Space Station and interviews with the astronauts who have been involved with the extraordinary space project. I hope to watch this over the weekend, but it sounds like my kind of movie.
Already on Apple TV+ (it debuted Tuesday!) is Bailie Walsh’s BEING JAMES BOND, a documentary about Daniel Craig’s run as 007 over the past decade plus, which you can rent for FREE on Apple, so go do that!
On Monday, FX and FX on Hulu will debut the first few episodes of Y THE LAST MAN, the new series based on the Vertigo comic series by Brian K. Vaughn and Pia Guerra that I absolutely loved. Set in a world where every single male human and animal has died, it stars Ben Schnetzer (Pride, Warcraft) as Yorick, who is -- you guessed it-- the last man on earth. He’s also an escape artist/magician, trying to survive with his pet capuchin monkey, Ampersand, as he goes across country trying to find his girlfriend Beth who left for Australia before the event. It also stars Diane Lane (as Yorick’s mother, who becomes the President), Olivia Thirlby (as his sister Hero), Ashley Romans (as Agent 355), Missi Pyle, and lots of other actresses (because all the men are dead). I’m slowly making my way through the series, and I like what I've seen so far, but the first three episodes will premiere on Monday.
A few other movies, a couple that I’ve seen, which I just don’t have time to review…
Nicholas Cage stars in Sion Sono's PRISONERS OF THE GHOSTLAND (RLJEfilms), which opens at the IFC Center this Friday. He plays a bank robber who is sprung from jail by Bill Moseley's "Governor" whose adopted granddaughter (Sofia Boutella) has gone missing. Cage's character is allowed to go free to find her, but he's put in a suit that will self-destruct in three days if he doesn't return. So it's kind of like The Suicide Squad, and though it has an interesting cast (including Nick Cassavetes, who also appears in Queenpins this week), I don't remember liking this much at Sundance earlier this year. (I actually don't thnk I got through the movie.)
John Pollono adapts his own stageplay SMALL ENGINE REPAIR (Vertical) to the screen with John Bernthal and Shea Whigham playing life-long friends Terrance and Packie with Pollono’s Frank, who are overly protective of Terrance’s teen daughter, Crystal (Ciaro Bravo). A chance encounter turns into a night that spins out of control as the friends have to make a tough decision about how to resolve the situation. I was pretty mixed on this movie even though Bernthal and Whigham continue to be great in everything they do. (I just think Whigham's recent movie, The Gateway, was better.)
Hitting the horror-streaming network Shudder (I have a subscription, because I’m a fan) on Thursday is Ruth Platt’s MARTYR’S LANE, a ghost story about a 10-year-old girl named Leah (Kiera Thompson) who lives in an old house with her family but whose mother has grown distant. At night, she’s visited by a guest who challenges Leah in exchange for more information about the house and her family.
Saul Williams stars and writes the score for Charles Officer’s AKILLA’S ESCAPE (Vertical), a crime noir about an urban child soldier set in Toronto and New York with Williams playing Akilla, a 40-year-old with a covert cannabis operation that goes legit. As he’s ready to cash out, he’s robbed by a group of masked youths. Akilla captures one of them, a mute 15-year-old named Sheppard that is associated with the Jamaican crime syndicate founded by his grandfather.
Jonah Feingold’s DATING & NEW YORK (IFC Films), which premiered at the Tribeca Festival a few months back, stars Francesca Reale (Stranger Things) and Jaboukie Young-White (The Daily Show) as Wendy and Milo, two Millennials who are thrown together at the worst time in their lives for romance, as they meet on an app called Meet Cute, have a first date, and then ghost each other before being thrown back together into an unconventional romance. I’m usually a fan of the rom-com genre, and I often can even withstand one that takes place in New York City and uses my town in a completely unrealistic way to show how romance can flourish here. (*koff*BULLSHIT*koff*) But then you throw in the M-word (Millennials), and this grouchy old man could barely get through this movie, though I’m not even remotely surprised it premiered at Tribeca. It seems very much like a Tribeca movie, and yes, that was meant in a pejorative way as the former “Film” festival has lost its way over the years. I’m half-kidding, the movie is entertaining enough, and I’m sure younger people will enjoy it more than I did.
A few other films I didn't get to this week…
DOGS (Dekanalog) AZOR (MUBI) BAD CANDY (Dread)
That’s it for this week. Do we have any new movies next week? I think Clint Eastwood has Cry Macho
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